#//you never write anything bad ever! <3< /div>
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fr though you have to write bad poetry. poems are not handed down to you fully formed by god they are things that you have to work on and practice your skill at creating. nobody would expect you to sit down at a pottery wheel and end up with a perfect vase with no practice. it's a skill! art is a learned thing!! you have to make the shitty little pots with dents and marks and your fingerprints all over them in order to get better. and you're allowed to be proud of those first little pots you made too
#yeah maybe they leak or they don't look the prettiest but you literally made them...#people are so critical of their own + other people's amateur poetry in a way that they are not about so many other art forms#when someone starts crochet they are not expected to pop out perfect pieces immediately.#you don't start dance lessons and pull out a perfect pirouette. there's practice to be done and just because it's not physical#doesn't mean it's not a craft that has to be honed. you have to work at it.#and to work at it you have to be kind enough to yourself to let yourself be mediocre or outright bad. you Have to be#it's never a failure because anything you create is Something You Created and therefore a success#but y'know. the philosophy of you have to be prepared to fail. falling is part of getting back up all that#except that bad poetry will never hurt you it will ONLY ever help you improve <3 so keep writing it <3#you don't have to post it either the attention economy is so evil... keep it to yourself. and if sharing poetry is a thing you want to do#you can always wait until you feel confident in your work to do so. or show the people you love your bad poems.#cause people who love you will see your hard work and love it regardless. y'know?#not poetry
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Comfort in camp was fleeting. With the backdrop of war in one's youth, it was quite easy to feel angry, hurt, cheated to realize that everything dreamt of as a child was now blood-spattered and ruined. Ben couldn't find a future in this hellscape -- not unless he fought for it tooth and nail, and with his ever-wavering humanity.
But with his friends -- with Anna -- he could somehow find a moment's respite. Lately, she had taken to waking up besieged by night terrors, panting and trembling and overwrought by a nameless ghost Ben couldn't even begin to assuage. This was why he'd proposed she share his quarters. It wasn't proper by any means, but since the rest of camp already believed they were tupping, he quite frankly didn't give a damn about their conjecture -- not when Anna needed him.
Late that night, he was roused from sleep by her jerking upright, clammy and trembling. Without fully being released from his own subconscious, Ben groggily rolled up to sit alongside her. On instinct, his hands lifted to take her shoulders, instantly sobered by the fear and panic in her eyes.
"It's all right," he soothed, cupping her face between his hands. "Look at me...breathe, Anna. You're here in my quarters, and you're safe -- I promise."
He didn't make assurances of this nature lightly, but as he curled her beneath his chin and wrapped his arms around her quivering frame, the selfish part of him realized that she made him feel safe, too. Brushing his lips over her hair, he closed his eyes and rubbed his palm between her shoulder blades. "Do you need to talk about it?" he gently pressed. "We can just sit here, if you'd like...or speak about anything you wish."
? (it can literally just be the generated dialogue, if you want -- you don't have to write anything else! <3)
Skeletal ribs seize with startling force and she finds herself bolting upright. Tinctured tendrils of frigid terror are sent etching across the marrows of shaken bones. Cruel wisps of dread do not dispel with the harsh fluttering of lashes. Instead, they seem to amplify under the accursed, hollow din of the campfire. The same one casting the brunette's usually soft maple shades, a hue more accurately likened to amber.
Panic, ill-subdued, lingers as Anna's eyes rove the tent. Despite her every effort to steel herself from sobbing, her ratted breaths scorch her lungs producing a strangled variation of the sound. Chilled skin plasters with rivulets which ran unabashedly towards the the lowest point of gravity possible.
Stiff porcelain digits snare, crumpling with fervor into the cloak still knotted about her throat for warmth when she catches Tallmadge's warm, errant gaze. "It's---" Anna rasps raw and vulnerable. The word 'nothing' is swallowed forcibly down in favor of a new direction. An apologetic one.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." Of course, she is presuming he was roused when she unwittingly untethered herself from his arms.
Anna puffs out a forceful breath, attempting to mask the sting of dread still dwelling within in her veins. "I had a nightmare."
#annastrxng#night terrors#ben x anna#//you never write anything bad ever! <3#no need to match since i rambled as usual lol#hope it's okay to continue this way#for trimming later
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ok so there's murder time trio where theyre best buddies and get along and sometimes even having more than just platonic interactions. and then there's also the murder time trio where they genuinely just don't like each other and avoid each other and do NOT get along and to me there's just a VERY clear timeline of events that could connect these two group dynamics. like these 2 could coexist,,,,,,
nightmare's fresh outta his little corruption sequence and he needs his henchmen. goes out and gathers the obvious three killer horror and dust (does it really matter how he got them??? kidnapping or not the trio will warm up to him). its his first time having to deal with mentally unstable grown up mortal men and he really has no idea how to manage the team so he lets them have some slack. spoils em a bit yk yk stops fights allows them to hang out allows em to screw around the castle even COMFORTS them,,,, shocking i know (a slightly nice nightmare interpretation from triglycercule? UNFATHOMABLE!!!!)
this killer's fresh outta something new so he's still kinda curious and nosy. he hasnt seen the multiverse and especially not interacted with nightmare/horrordust so he's kinda more outgoing and friendly (ish. to get to know better everyone and satisfy the curiosity of seeing what reactions and feelings these fellas could give him.) bc killer's not that much of a prick and horror and dust would naturally SLIGHTLY get along (and if in the right environment be good buddies. which is nm's lenience and killer's not shittiness) the mtt actually get along pretty well and are good buds!! like the first group dynamic i mentioned where the bad sanses are just kinda like a friend group except they have some weird work relations
and then a fight breaks out and nightmare kills either dust or horror (what about??? anything!) likely dust first because he's more likely to be wary of nm (if kidnapped) and also because he's just kinda more actively righteous compared to horror (who likely wouldn't do much against nm) or killer (does not give a shit.) dust dies, horror likely dies defending dust and that just leaves the og killer and nightmare
nightmare is like "oh shit i just killed my workers". he'll take like a week to ponder what he did and then completely move on (because hes an ass like that.) nightmare gets another horror and dust to replace the ones he killed. and killer is just like wtf how do i deal with this. the guys i were kinda friends were are dead but their copies are right here. like he knew copies existed in the utmv but he didn't think nightmare was so willing to replace them so fast???
this killer's still adapting to the multiverse and stuff (it probably hasn't even been a year since he got snatched up!!!) and yeah hes aware that copies exist and he could get replaced by one but he didn't think that it would LITERALLY HAPPEN RIGHT BEFORE HIS EYES. so he decides to stick more around nm and avoid getting replaced like the og dust and horror because it really just hammers in the point that he's kinda useless if he speaks out like those 2. hes avoidant of the new replacements as well bc hes still new to this experience and is getting used to the whole implications of two guys that were once him and he was friends with died and got replaced by basically the same person
but they still have to work together for obvious reasons. and even if killer's avoiding horror and dust they probably aren't avoiding each other and probably are like wary friends/acquaintances. and naturally killer HAS to become okay worker buddy pals with them because hes stuck living with them. nightmare's a lot stricter and cold to avoid something like dust's rebellion against him happening again. mtt are wary of each other (mostly towards killer. horrordust are pals and killer's kinda growing more apathetic to the duo because he's already experienced a lot of the stuff before with the og two that died.) but theyre still "friends" you could say
and then perchance maybe horror and dust decide to let killer in on a lil secret theyve been cooking up. theyre planning to escape (kidnapped DUH. and nm isn't as nice as he was to og horrordust to warrent them to wanna stay) and even though they don't really trust killer theyre still letting him in on the plan and offer for him to come with them because they lowkey feel bad for him and he's really not all that bad under all the bullshit
but killer saw what happened to the og dust and horror so he says no. and the night that the duo are planning to escape he just has this overwhelming sense of dread. the next morning he wakes up to nightmare standing over his bed with a cold glare telling him of horror and dust's attempted escape and death and killer just kinda. sighs. his dread was right (he was lowkey hoping that they could escape so they didn't die like the original 2)
and then the cycle repeats. previous dust or horror or both die to nightmare or some random outside force or escape (because it has to happen eventually right??) and the pair keep getting replaced. killer keeps witnessing their deaths and replacements and at this point he's just so used to it that he doesn't even TRY to interact with the new horrors and dusts. theyre not even like real people that are getting killed and replaced like robots to him anymore they're just distant coworkers that get fired and then a new one comes to take up the position
each new dust or horror is icked out by nightmare and killer. nightmare is incredibly cold and intimidating and dictatorial and just sucks in general. and killer gives them this distant look. like he knows something they dont. he's already proven to them that he knows that they should obey nightmare and how to deal with the king and they know he's been here longer than them but even when he's not with nightmare or not talking about him they get the blank stare
sometimes when a nicer replacement of horror decides to do something nice for killer like make him a meal he just gives him that look and declines (there's already been countless different horrors that tried doing nice stuff for him. it's not new and nice in his eyes anymore.) maybe when a dust replacement gets irked by killer's apathy and decides to try and say something that'll bother him or snoop through his personal stuff killer will just walk away or kick him out of his room with that creepy ass blank stare again (it's not the first time a dust has tried to rile him up. it's not new or interesting and just predictable)
killer just doesn't CARE about the new horrors and dusts. they're all pretty much the same two guy except maybe a bit nicer or meaner or quieter or even taller or something?? all he really cares about is is serving nightmares atp, no other outside relationships. and ngl he doesn't even care that much about nightmare either. he's already figured out his thinking he's already figured out all of his likes and dislikes and what not to do to piss him off. the only reason he's still dealing with him is because he doesn't have anything else better to do and he doesn't wanna be useless to the one guy that he's served all this time
he's just kinda stuck in an empty boring limbo that killer's only maintaining due to a lack of motivation and any other priorities. and personally i just think this bad sans dynamic is lowkey tragic because like killer keeps witnessing all these guys that he used to be friends or enemies or rivals or whatever with and they just keep dying or leaving him behind. not one ever stays for THAT long (because no wayyyy a dust or horror would take being under a cruel nightmare well) and it's given him this idea that none of these people matter (aside from the important one which is nm) because they're just gonna leave me and the connections ill have formed with them will be for nothing so why even try being vulnerable and friendly and interacting with these cheap copies of the guys i USED to be friends with
#nobody asked for this but i wanted to think of this#i don't know why i always have this idea that just because nobody asked for it doesn't mean nobody wants it. I WANTED TO WRITE THIS!!!!!#see this would work better if it were a fanfic and not a cheap tumblr post about this vague idea#i just wrote this because i really like the image of a blank eyed knowing looking killer#like he KNOWS something about dust and horror that they don't. and it bothers them severely#WHAT DOES HE KNOW??? their death or leaving is what#you ever think that killer has this crazy good sense of being able to predict the future#like he's just gotten so used to things that he just knows their next move#he would be crazy good at reading people and figuring out their behaviors#psycho analyze these guys until he could ACT like them. because what else does he have better to do when so bored and apathetic :3#this (may or may not be) is inspired by a song. i was imagining a dust and horror who kept trying to leave nm and failing miserably#and each time killer would tell their story of how they died or how the previous 2 died#he's like a little time capsule. he stores the experiences and memories of each copy of horror and dust to never tell anyone#because who else would be hell??? the MIRROR??? NIGHTMARE??? lmao no#would this make killer much older than the horrors and dusts that get replaced. maybe i think that would be cool#he lies about how old he is to the other two because if he didn't then they would act differently and not like how he predicts#and anything new and unexpected is kinda scary to killer#ok i think that's enough elaborating in tags. time to actually TAG#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#nightmare sans#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#what tricule tag category does this go in hmmmm hmmmm#this COULD be a hc and BOTH an analysis. but which one...............#i guess analysis because there's not really anything outrageously ooc in this one#tricule analyze
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so i started this show and it just gets worse and worseeeee not only did it lift the romance subplot directly from twilight (and not well) but they also are trying to play the forbidden love angle hard in the fantasy racism vein except it's a "cross-species" relationship between the two whitest people i've ever seen in my life and there are three people of color in the whole (first season of the) show who aren't villains and it seems that every other episode (and sometimes ebery episode and sometimes twice an episode!) there is a man physically or magically subjugating a woman and i keep waiting for the big reveal at the end to be stolen from fucking rainbow rowell
#yes i read 'carry on' by rainbow rowell in middle school what else could you have possibly expected from me. anyway she gives me simon snow#vibes and not in a good way and she's even blonde while her british vampire boyfriend has dark dark hair and just. you will never be basil.#also i hate to be that guy but the writing has made me physically recoil and the acting almost reads as silly but mostly as middling :/ and#i wanted and expected more from matthew goode bc i really liked him in downton but i guess this is a 2018 bbc modern vampire fantasty serie#like i guess.#also there's SO much shit about bloodlines and maybe i'm gay with a blood disorder amd a family history of adoption but like. who fucking#careeessssssssss it ahould not be that serious. why is it that serious.#also the fantasy racism kind of reads like it's mesnt to be? homophobic adjacent? like there's a Lot of 'love who you love' talk going on#for the single most bland heterosexual relationship i've ever seen on a screen like there is so little chemistry? so little#anyway it's called 'a discovery of witches' and i'd recommend not watching it 🫶 or if you do then watch it on 1.5x speed#it's been decent background noise for knitting bc i kinda sorta care about the plot but if miss a chunk bc i'm in the lace chart zone i do#not care and i do not have to go back to catch it bc the writing is so transparent#there was another series it stole from that's escaping me atm but when i noticed it pissed me off a touch. hmm maybe it will come back to m#a post#do not watch this show#I REMEMBERED they wanted the juliette holding diana captive moment to be joaquin's 'i want to watch you fuck her' from sense8 SOOOOO BAD bu#it WASN'T bc they were too afraid to lean into anything that would make juliette interesting at all. for being all about the world's most#special blonde woman this show does not seem to like women very much. sad! well there's other shows#OH ALSO ALSO there are 3 magical 'creature' species which are witch + vampire + femon except the demons don't seem? to have any magical#abilities that humans don't have besides sensing the species of other creatures? like witches can cast spells and vampires do their various#vampire things but demons have nothing going for them except disproportionately high rates of homelessness and suicide?? like girl what are#we doingggggggg what are we doing here !! what's their deal why does no one care !! can they do anything or no !! god this show sucks
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Just finished watching Wendigoon's video about Hisashi Ouchi and had a terrible, awful, no-good DP prompt idea come into my head. Come suffer with me.
So the Fentons constantly threaten to tear ghosts apart "molecule by molecule" right? What if they managed to make an anti-ghost weapon that made good on that threat? One that tore apart ghostly DNA or ectoplasm, and just straight-up turned any ghost hit by it into green goop, melted within seconds like Danny's clones?
So I imagine that at some point after destroying a couple of ghosts with this new weapon, Jack and Maddie finally manage to corner Phantom somehow. Terrified, Danny is left with no choice but to try to explain who and what he is, hoping to all the Ancients that it will be enough to stop them from hurting him.
Unfortunately for him, the Fentons don't really listen at first and shoot him point blank.
Danny puts his arms up to protect himself and closes his eyes, trembling in abject fear, imagining himself melting away into a pile of goop right in front of his parents. He desperately hopes it's quick and painless. He waits for the end.
...and waits
... and waits
The Fentons and Danny both feel shocked, but Danny eventually laughs (a bit hysterically) and continues explaining his accident, intensely relieved that his half-human nature had protected him from this weapon.
Once he explains everything, the Fentons apologize with tears in their eyes for how they had treated him. They accept him for who he is, and promise to do their best to learn more about ghosts' true natures. They decide to use their inventions in an actually scientific, ethical way, to learn more about this culture and people. Danny and Jazz are both ecstatic. Everything seems perfect. Sure, Danny might have thrown up and passed out the minute they got home from that little talk, and sure, his skin turned a bit red and painful where he got hit, but that was the extent of it, right? His human half purged the effects of the weapon from his body, no harm no foul.
But they all forget that while Danny's DNA is half human, it is also half ghostly in nature, and the weapon just tore through those parts of him like bullets through paper.
A week later, Danny's skin starts to feel like it's burning
#danny phantom#dp prompt#prompt#basically the Fentons accidentally give Danny extreme radiation poisoning and have to deal with the consequences#maybe Vlad could get a redemption arc in this#finally realizing that Maddie is not as perfect as he imagined her to be#and using everything in his considerable power to help save his Little Badger#could also be#DPxDC#dp x dc#if they end up reaching out to the justice league for their resources and expertise on non-human biology and radiation exposure#and of course every single one of them would end up loving Danny and wanting to take him away from these people who hurt him so bad#or at least help him recover and watch over him after#they wouldn't be fans of the Fentons to say the least#if anyone writes anything on this you can take it anywhere you like#but I'm personally a sucker for Angst with a Happy Ending#so in my imagination Danny manages to make it through the almost 3 months of suffering and eventually recovers#with a ton of new friends (and maybe a lover) for his troubles#but he'd never be the same#and I don't think he'd ever look at Jack and Maddie the same either#don't look up pictures of Hisashi Ouchi btw#only made that mistake once#danny fenton#btw for those who don't know but don't want to watch a 90min video about it#Hishashi Ouchi was a poor man who was exposed to so much radiation that his chromosomes were torn to shreds#**READ THE FOLLOWING SENTENCES AT YOUR DISCRETION CW IT'S NOT PRETTY IF YOU DON'T LIKE THINKING ABOUT NASTY STUFF/BODY HORROR DON'T READ#then his skin started to slough off#then the lining of his lungs. then the one on his intestines. then on almost every one of his organs#He lived for 83 days bc the best doctors in the world were trying to save him#but Yes it was probably as excruciating as it sounds especially bc his mind was intact for most of it
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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Hate having adhd went to go work on my fallout modpack, got distracted while going to disable the steam overlay, ended up in the points shop, went to go edit my profile, decided to change my pfp, found a buried folder I forgot existed, found some old Veneer art I forgot existed, spent 45 minutes looking at all the old photos, STILL HAVE NOT TOGGLED ONE SIMPLE OPTION THAT SHOULD'VE TAKEN 30 SECONDS AT MOST
#I'm shocked I have these drawings scanned on my pc I don't remember doing that I must've done it before I left in case my mom threw all my#Art out again#Anyway at age 12 I was writing a better '3 merpeople go on land to find a 4th one that has been disguised as a human all his life' story#Than Ma/ko Merm/aids EVER did so uh. Take that Jonathan#God it sucks so bad that kid me would've LOVED MM if it just DIDN'T HAVE THE STUPID GENDER WAR BULLSHIT#Literally the entire first and second season is just. So fucking stupid. I wrote a God damn essay about how they fumbled Erik's story SO BAD#I don't even LIKE Erik BUT THEY DID HIM SO DIRTY#THE CHARACTER POTENTIAL AND WRITING COULD'VE BEEN BETTER THAN ZANE B. S1 OF H2O BUT THEY THREW IT AWAY AND FOR WHAT!!!!!!!#Seriously you're telling me a kid who was abandoned his entire life for being male didn't have a bigger impact on the pod than FUCKING ZAK?#That plot twist of 'oh actually Zak was a merman all along' was 100% so they could guilt free write Erik out#Instead of like. Having him face his actions or redeem himself in like. Any way. He just fucks off. THEN the pod is like lol Zac were sorry#We're sorry for literally not doing anything to you because you were privledged enough to have a mother who was super ultra powerful#So you were never really affected by our actions until JUST now. Unlike that other fuckface Erik who suffered his whole life alone#Also then in s3 there are STILL no mermen in the pod. Not even little mermen babies. No kids and teens they've welcomed back n apologized to#NOTHING#God. Mm pisses me off dude#AND I STILL HAVENT TOGGLED THAT FUCKING OPTIONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#Cruddy rambles#God I'm not done I'm sorry fallout can wait YOU ARE TELLING ME THE GUY WHO TELLS US HOW SHITTY MERMAN BABIES R TREATED BY THE POD. IS NOT#THE SAME ONE THE POD APOLOGIZES TO IN THE SEASON FINALE BECAUSE THEY WROTE IN A SHITTY PLOT TWIST?#AUUUUUUUHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG#It's so bad. It's so fucking bad. It's so needlessly gendered and for what. They could've just had 2 rival warring pods#What pisses me off the most is that s3 (4) completely pivots and never really follows thru with the s1 and 2 story arcs#The writers just kinda wash thsir hands of that because 'hey the pod said sorry to zac' BUT THEN NOTHING ACTUALLY CHANGES!!!!#Maybe instead of having a constantly rotating cast of characters s3 (4) could've instead focused on Ondina and Erik's relationship a bit#Maybe have Ondina tell him she wants to just stay friends because she can't trust him. Have him IDK grow and change as a character?#Maybe so you can show kids nobody is born evil and we all need support systems and healthy relationships to grow and become better people??#THAT would've been a GOOD FOLLOW THROUGH#But no instead u just write him out of the show and never show any OTHER mermen who were exiled being welcomed back#Like u had Ondina becoming a teacher... Why not have Zac become a teacher for all the new mermen who were just recently welcomed back??
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yoooooo do you know what happened to callm3senpaii ?!?!?!???? i was a huge fan of their banger works and when i try to find them now their account is deactivated I am devastated 😭
chiiileee 😭 long story short they got mad they traded away gojo on mudae, blocked everyone and deleted their blog.
i wish i was lyin'.
#ೃ༝💌⁀➷ 𝓀𝒾𝓏𝓏𝒶𝓉мαιℓ#ೃ💌⁀➷𝓀𝒾𝓏𝓏𝒶𝓉αησηѕ#lmfao usually i wouldnt spill tea on the TL like this but its been like 9 months and idgaf any more im tired of being fake about it#im not sparring you hoes when y'all spaz over dumb shit jhfskdhfkdsjf#i literally spoke to this girl for 3 days on discord telling her she didnt have to do it and it was just a game and no one cared that hard#she acted weird for a week being passive aggressive and the next thing u know we blocked and her blog deleted without a word#and apparently we (black) microagressed her (white) when we never said anything bad about her ever#like that was my bestie on this app for MONTHS and we spoke every damn day she was the person i was closest to on the server even!?#we made the server together?! and invited ppl#see this is also why i hated gojo for so long and didnt write him until this summer#cause some of y'all hoes aint right in the head over this man and i was traumatized im ngl#like i didnt even have toji atp and didn't act like this and y'all know thats my nigga daddy who i would spill blood for 😭😭😭#mudae shows u who ppl really are istg jhdfkjshfjksd#the most ironic thing is i DM'd her on the side saying i had a fun game but was nervous to add it cause i didnt want ppl to fight#and she said “omg its just pixels who would do that?” HOE U APPARENTLY!!!! KFHSDLKFJHDKJ#someone say im lyin cause i have receipts kfjhdkjfhdkhjs#mudae war stories jkdhajhda#tw discourse
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i need to talk about the dess raises kris au. or im gonna explode.
#chatter#GOOD TIMING TO THINK ABOUT AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY: EDITING UR TOH DAEMON AU LOL#like i can separate it out enough when im working lol but afterwards. oh its all deltarune babey!!!#been thinking a lot about dess and how i wanna write her#(aka im gonna canonize some mental stuff i've always kinda had in the back of my mind for her)#and GOD. dess. i forgive her for all her flaws <3#but no shes sooooo fascinating to me in this au its just. she was Eighteen. right in the middle of a pretty bad psychotic break.#the only person ever in her corner (asriel) Did Not Believe her and has always been real shitty about her undiagnosed mental illnesses#(dw we will come back to this i have a LOT of ideas for azzy lol he is. uh. not the best at the start!)#and so like. of course when it comes to kris her best was never going to be enough.#but GOD im soooo fascinated by like. she does genuinely really truly care for kris.#yes its messy and caught up in a bunch of other things but she LOVES THEM#even if she cannot ever love them in the way they want her to (ie as a parent loves a child)#and is it fair for kris? no! course it isnt!!!#but theres no changing the past and so. this is kris's life now#and its dess's life now. and they just have to live with what happened#thinking about the like. 6 months to a year where it was just dess and kris (before chara) and. god.#GOD. YOU GUYS.#sorry this au is. um. i think it is my everything. like.#if you know you know (hi stars lol <3) but. man.........man.#i have a lot of thoughts about. prophecy. and when translating that out beyond just story and into like. the real world#cause lets be real prophecy doesnt exist but things w this power of 'you are supposed to be x and cannot be anything but x' DO and#god. the dess raises kris au is So Much.#also yeah another acacia tags essay they simply hit differently <3#also enough to go into the main tag so#drkau#anyways lemme go back to editing lol
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I like to think that once they're a little more advanced in their friendship, Baltazar takes their time making one big gift for Luis in the form of a long coat/hoodie for him. And to top it off they engrave a bunch of cooling sigils to make sure he can wear it anywhere comfortably. And Luis is just quietly losing it trying not to cry an ocean and propose right there and then
#hes just so. so so so easily overwhelmed#bro is never emotionally prepared to deal with anything ever and then this fucking blue guy comes along and makes him feel things#hes like great now I have to be overly attached to you too. asshole (genuinely loving hes just bad at showing it)#darling sunsets#magocs#my oc stuff#original character#my rambles#rambling#my writing#solar years#oc: baltazar#oc: luis#Luizar tag <3
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sometimes in life you have to spend a Sunday night crying and writing bad poetry about someone you haven’t spoken to in a year and a half
#we’re in the bad place tonight hehe haha 🥰❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰#pro tip: do not go back and read the last text you ever got/sent to the person you once considered the most important person in the world❗️#*talking to myself* delete the thread just delete the thread delete it just delete it you don’t need it just delete it delete the thread de-#anyway I hate poetry except when I feel like writing it#where’s that post that’s like#i have never gotten over anything in my entire life#that’s me#i do not have my person and my current best friend is lovely but she has her person and it’s not me and everything is bad and I am alone#<- thots that will go away once I have eaten these peanut butter cups and slept for 8 hours#ok hehe bye goodnight <3#mine
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on the one hand... thematically speaking, bunny and marion were already married in all but name, but on the other they would have never actually been married had he lived. which i'm normal about. very normal.
#they are a hays code couple with separate dorm rooms and implications of sexless sex#they have the big dysfunction and he almost had sex in the woods with 3 men and 1 woman#she's probably an old friend of charles'#but the fantasy of 8 kids and a job at the bank when and where#hE'S A GREEK MAJOR#WHAT BANK#SHE'S HAVING ONE CHILD EVER IN HER LIFE#ITS#its a relationship of stolen time and awareness that it'd never exist outside of the context of#what they have in college#anything else is blurred and impossible and harsh and it'd never work out#but they are also#the same person twice over#the bad the uglly the silly the martyr#they are of the same sort of essence#and you know what it was a love story of all time#when she married his brother <3 and entombed herself at his funeral <3 forever <3 she's never left the funeral not now not ever#one day i'll write the rant but#please do mentally write the parallel of that mrs camilla refused the proposal because she loved henry#because she is NOT a ghost#richard just feels haunted#but mrs marion accepted the proposal#so much for being a real girl#when she haunts the narrative instead like actual ghosts ghosting#i hate women#i don't i'd marry mrs marion in a heartbeat#she sounds totally mentally well#personal
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rip to everyone else not obsessed with resident evil code – code: veronica (2001) by capcom. my city now
#hvaña#will i ever play it? probably not. dont care. it compels me.#the graphics are retro but fittingly so. i like the soundtrack. i love the villains and i love claire so it all works out<3#i wanna write fic for it sooooooooooo bad but i will wait until after ive finished watching the gameplay.#also i think its a TRAVESTY that claire never gets to roundhouse kick wsker in this game. why does chris get to have all the fun#also im poking the hornet's nest but it is by FAR wesker's best design and weirdly enough i love the VA choice#it's entirely possible none of this means anything it just scratches a particularly part of my brain that goes#'you say it's a bad game like it's a bad thing <3'#have i made this post before. probably but idc. its getting late wah
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auauguaughgh assignmence
#i have a thing due tonight that i am nowhere near done with AUGH#literally dont wanna do anything all i want is to sit on my floor and do my cross stitch and listen to rani takes on the world the first 2#were SO GOOD esp the first one the first one was literally Made In A Lab SPECIFICALLY For Me i hope they make more of them please god bc i#want sky to be in it so bad i wanna see what shes up to but idk if anyone ever will bc the webcast is very much considered canon by these#(farewell sarah jane i mean) and that implies that the events of the 3 unmade stories from sja s5 100% still happened and therefore theres#stuff about sky and what her whole Deal is / how it all works that unfortunately exist pretty much exclusively in RTDs head. MADDENING.#like they could be turned into a novel!!! and they havent been!!!! which is GRRR TEARING AND BITING AND RIPPING. WHY ISNT IT A NOVEL 😭#PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU esp cause the trickster was in it and its like god..... obviously makes sense why they didnt make those episodes but#they could have at least done a novel or something with them & its like AUGH bc idk if anyone is gonna write sky now which is SUCH a shame#i liked sky its so sad that we never got more of her and luke together and its really not clear what shes supposed to be doing Now and its#like nooooooooo. anyway i forgor what was the point of this post. oh right. assignment AUAUUAGHUGHHHH#ari opinion hour#also i forgot my headphones bc i use the cord from them to connect my cd player to a speaker so i took them out of my backpack and NOOOO#need those to actually do work efficiently
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.
#girl i have so many teshes thoughts its INSANE#me starting with haha actually this ship has no basis i just want to Put Tesilid Through It#but over the past few months of brainrotting their dynamic is now like.#what if we were doomed from the start and there was never anything either of us could do to save the other#(not even talking about the regression but rather the stigma bearer thing and how they have no social power)#(but also the regression thing)#what if we loved each other throughout all the lifetimes but there could never be a happy ending. tragedy dogs our footsteps#what if we were 'guy who has a good head on his shoulders and recognises our low social positions and looks out for his friends in similar#predicaments' x 'guy who is way too giving and this is bad bc the world is out to get him and he loves ppl too much to care about#the danger to himself'#what if we were 'guy who is way too giving' x 'guy who wants to protect him but Cant'#doomed ships.....#swings hestio around i like you SO much. i need to put you under a microscope and in a fish tank#(statements that should not ever be viewed by people outside of tumblr)#some of my fic outlines has notes that are like 'wow if they had the transmigrators privilege this wouldnt even have been a problem'#and im suddenly very appreciative of canon#god bless canon tesilid may you be happy. not my fanfic tesilid though im making him miserable#anyway. the more i think about it the more interesting hestio's internal conflict could be#it's about being so acutely aware of how shit their lives already are that he knows having a r/s that is frowned upon would just#make things worse#also i am very much hooked by the fact that like. nowadays i keep seeing ship posts about 'killing myself in front of you to change the#trajectory of your life forever'#for teshes its the opposite. hestio is desperately trying to make sure tesilid doesnt off himself#and also its not hestio dying that changes the trajectory of tesilid's life forever it's hestio confessing#and somehow this inflicts more pain on tesilid in the long run#which is extremely funny bc for all the notes that ive written abt teshes hestio has only confessed like umm. checks notes. 3 times#1. drunk (tesilid is not in the room) 2. the world is ending#like if hestio had managed to take this to the grave like he had originally planned then this could have been avoided#but the tragedy is that tesilid lives thru this multiple times so at least ONE time hestio's going to blab and that forever changes things#crying in fic writing being stupidly hard
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me INHALING 35 MM INTO MY BODY IT IS KEEPING ME ALIVE AND GOING
35MM CHAPTER TWENTY: pizza time!
track number twenty: fade into you by mazzy star
masterlist
The sun is starting to set when he knocks on the door. The blue dusk reminds him of her. Akaashi sent his psychiatrist an email about upping the dose of his anxiety medication before he left. He rocks on the back of his heels. He’s taking Kuroo’s advice. Or at least, he’s trying to. He overthought everything to death until nothing in his head even held any meaning. His nose is bruised purple, and his chest rises and falls visibly with each heavy intake of breath.
The door opens. For the split second he can see the doorknob turn, he sends a silent prayer that it’s not one of her roommates that answers and, if it is, that it’s not the scary one that slammed his fist into his face. It’s answered. She opens the door.
Her t-shirt hangs loose on her shoulders and sweatpants are low on her hips. She narrows her gaze at the sight of him and Akaashi takes that as not a good sign. And it’s not like she moves to slam the door in his face, but Akaashi doesn’t want to take the risk. He steps forward into her apartment and says. “I like you.”
She steps back, expression sort of unreadable. “What?”
“I like you,” Akaashi repeats, taking another step closer. “I like you a lot. I like everything about you. I think you’re beautiful and the way you think is beautiful. I like that you change the way I think, and I like how everything feels better when you’re around and I want to be with you all the time.”
The words seem to hit her slowly, taking a second to settle into her skin. Once they do, she backs further into her apartment. Akaashi follows, taking slow, hesitant steps, watching as she leans against her kitchen counter. “I don’t,” she starts, and then takes an heavy breath. She turns her head and looks him in the eye. “Did you mean it, when you kissed me?”
“Yes,” Akaashi breathes out. “I meant it.”
She gnaws on the inside of her cheek and looks off to the side. “I don’t like the way you played with my feelings,” she confesses, and looks down at her feet, blinking like she’s trying to force away her tears. “I don’t like the way you made me feel like I didn’t matter to you.”
Without thinking much about it at all, Akaashi takes two long strides to close the gap between them. His arms go around her shoulders, and he pulls her into his chest. “I’m sorry. I was overthinking and I know I made everything worse. But you matter to me. You matter to me so much that I’m going to do all the things I’ve been too afraid to do.” And Akaashi can’t help himself. He kisses the top of her head and tightens his hold on her. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”
She tilts her head back to look up at him. Her eyes are wet and watering. She sniffs. “Well, my roommate broke your nose. So, I guess that kinda makes up for it.”
A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “Does it look that bad?”
“Nah,” she shakes her head. “I think you look handsome.”
Red tinges his cheeks. Akaashi can feel it as it spreads. And he thinks that he should come up with some sort of flirtatious quip in response, but he’s looking into her eyes and he feels lost. He doesn’t have a grip on any of his conscious thoughts. The only thing that he can really hold onto is that he thinks he really might be in love with her.
So Akaashi leans down and uses the tip of his nose to nudge her head up slightly, and he kisses her. Again.
It’s different now. There’s a different sort of charge to it. Akaashi feels this persistent sort of buzz under his skin as he leans in deeper to her. He kisses her there, in the middle of her kitchen, with no regard to the world around him. It’s like it doesn’t exist. It’s just her and her body heat and the way she is entangled with him.
And his self-control is already hanging on by a thread, so when she drags her hand up his neck and tangles it in the roots of his hair, he snaps. His hands wrap around the bottom of her thighs, and in one swift movement, he’s lifted her onto the countertop, giving him more access to her, in her entirety.
Akaashi’s convinced, then. He’s in love. Pathetically so. He can’t decide if he should take the time to tell her or not. The decision is made for him.
“Surprise! It’s pizza time! Pizza-oh my god.”
They pull apart from each other with a gasp. Akaashi launches himself to the other side of the room. Bokuto Koutarou stands in the doorway of her apartment, mouth slightly agape, a box of pizza in one hand. He stares blankly at the scene before him.
She, still seated on the top of the counter, reaches for the first thing she can get her hands on and flings it directly at her brother’s face. It’s a dish rag. “Oh my god, get out.”
Bokuto doesn’t even flinch as the dish rag hits his face and falls directly onto the pizza box. Akaashi holds his breath. “Fine. I seem to have lost my appetite, anyways. Wonder why.”
He leaves, then. Walking backwards out the front door. He takes the dish rag with him. Akaashi blinks.
->fun facts!
at first when bokuto asked akaashi not to date yn he was really just was joking but then after it kept getting brought up he started to get suspicious; he thought if he kept saying 'oh MAN akaashi would DEFINITELY for sure tell me!' it would make him tell him
but it did not even a little so now bokuto actually kind of feels bad that he made him feel more anxious about the whole thing
bokuto 1000% killed the mood when he showed up but yn and akaashi retreated to her room and talked a lot about their feelings for each other and shared maybe more than one little kiss and decided an exclusive status would work best for them
akaashi is one text away from throttling atsumu his flirting with yn always got under his skin but now he has no reason to hide his budding annoyance
hinata won the bet
one more chapter left!
once more i am NOT proofreading
taglist: @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @publicbathroompanic @bedeater @rottingt1tz @rintarawr @deluluforcarlos55 @ahseyy @localgaytrainwreck @cherrypieyourface @baskin-robinhoods @polish-cereal @iheartamora @ferntv @eclecticeggknightpsychic @httpakkeiji @does-directions @needtoloveoutloud @rinheartshyunlix @causenessus @bookworm-center @kettlepop @makkiroll @atsumou @eyes-ofhell @kawaii-angelanne @ryeyeyer @k8nicole @mydearchoso @phoenix-eclipses @lixie-phoria @suitstars @reneny @scxrcherr @ueknightbl @iluvaquaphor @sleezzsister @barricadesenthusiast @staygoldsquatchling02 @hyunskzza @nemesii @sereniteav @crimsoncamra @gsyche @evening-latte @rrosiitas @kunimix @kitnootkat @aquariarose @iluv-ace @sparkei @gl6ss
#read this standing in my kitchen while eating cornflakes and cheerios and i have never loved my life more#I WAS JUST SLOWLY INCHING CLOSER TO MY PHONE READING AKAASHI LIFT HER UP ONTO THE COUNTRR#AKAASHI I'M RIGHT HERE I'M IN THE KITCHEN PLRASE PLEASE PELASE WHERE R U#this was so perfect#eggy i am taking notes#i am so bad at writing anything actually romantic bc i always overthink it BUT I'M TAKING SO MANY NOTES YOU ARE SO AMAZING AND TALENTED#i will never stop saying this bc you are just ao good#35 mm miya atsumu i will never forget u and the service u have done#ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT I CANNOT OWKDKDKDKK#thank u kuroo for being the best wingman ever#thank u bokuto for trying your best and maybe it set us back a little bit but it's ok it worked out in the end#and thank u bo for ur notable sacrifice (visual scarring)#I LOVE THEM ALL#AKAASHI MAKING A COMEBACK <3 I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS LAST CHAPTER#HOPING WE MAYBE GET TO HEAR ABOUT THEIR PROJECT 🙏#oh let me continue my thank us#thank u to kenma for existing and most likely santizing the counters#housewife era#thank u noya for barking#thank u iwa for proposing after breaking akaashi's nose i accept#THANK U HINATA FOR HAVING THE BEST LOVE LIFE EVER GO GET UR MAN#ness' favorites <3
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