#//i hope you dont mind continuing this!
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kugelfische · 3 months ago
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what was i to say? what can you say ,
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pnfc · 4 months ago
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i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece
#ill watch it at some point but despite my silence i have been like obsessively anxious about this cartoon#and pestered my friend to watch it for me sDFJKL#in a month this will have either ruined pnf for me forever or i'll have changed my mind and i like it actually its fine#for now anyway i have tons of comic sketches about perry's muteness that i no longer wanna finish and share...maybe someday but not now#i had a rly great day actually but now im falling asleep in bed tipsy and a little teary over this. cuz i love perry a lot he's#really special to me. i also got that star wars perry shirt in the mail today btw. and. it's such a good pj shirt#but back on topic#it sucks when an aspect of a character that is CORE to your appreciation of them becomes casually disregarded by the writers at some point#like im certainly not ever accepting an interpretation of perry like 'secretly hed really like to be able to talk' because its#never ever been communicated. like the idea that heinz wd prefer if perry was human. its just not in the show. the opposite is true in fact#so im left feeling stupid for caring about something that some writers(inc. dan) felt was unimportant. makes me not wanna continue my art#which sux cuz i like my comic ideas! id love to finish them. i hope i get over this.#i overreact to live-updating media when im fixated on it wh is why i prefer getting into dead fandoms haha#but they keep on bringing them back to life dont they...im never safe#it was funny me trying to explain to my friend why i efel so strongly about this meanwhile hes tried to explain why he feels so strongly ab#ut AYA and my stance on that episode has always just been “cute! its fine” lmao#@ dwampy you guys made the show that follows a specific rhythm and set of rules designed to appeal to obsessive autistic brained people ok#you invited my overreaction. unsheathes katana etc#ok im goint to sleep#meta
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blackpilljesus · 3 months ago
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I dont care about the odds of womens liberation happening because I dont solely focus on "winning" per se. That's not to say I dont want or aim towards it but freedom isn't just about the end but the journey too. Cultivating a lifestyle as a single childfree woman is something bigger than me and something I hold onto to get me by.
One thing about conscious is that we all know we're going to die. This terrifies some; but in some cases it gives a purpose to existence. Death becomes a metric to measure the things that are worth it in life, things to dedicate life towards for fulfillment in existing. Whether the end goal actually comes to fruition or not is irrelevant because the hope and purpose carries you as you live.
To get by the hardships of life and inevitability of death: dedicate yourself to something bigger than you. Having a sense of purpose beyond yourself drives innovation & delivery. It's not just about how long you live but what you live (& are willing to die) for. This is how cults, religion, charity, activism, natalism etc affect people. It gives them a sense of purpose greater than themselves so they devote their lives to them even in extreme cases where it'd kill them. They suffer & work in the name of their cause.
Many women regret encountering feminism & seeing maIes for how evil they are but I dont. I see things more clearly & more importantly it's given me a purpose in life; something to orient how I carry myself as long as I live: To pour my energy into myself & other likeminded women, to live beyond serving a maIe, to trust myself & not let the claws of maIe supremacy sink into me, to be the subject of my life instead of the object, to know I'm ending the line of suffering and not giving maIes what they ultimately want - another soul in the chain to continue the suffering, etc. That's the direction I'm taking my life.
I'm saying all of this because with things like separatism, 4B etc if you're serious about it think about these things as something bigger than yourself let it be something that you devote yourself to that goes beyond you. In the end it isn't just about you, it's about the future children you're saving from experiencing the hurt & suffering of this world. For me, no matter what happens as long as I dont give birth before I die that's a W for me - when I die the suffering in my line ends with me. So that's how I see this as something bigger than myself, it's not just about me but my (potential) future offspring. And before anyone tells me about how there's good in this world; good isn't guaranteed but suffering is.
When you give yourself to something bigger than you you're able to commit to things for the greater good & not just doing things for the sake of it. I dont refuse to date, reproduce, wear makeup, etc to stick it to anybody; it's just freeing for me. I think the lack of seeing these things as something bigger than yourself is part of why many women struggle to commit to this or even think of the idea (there's obvs many reasons but I wont get into them to stay focused). I commonly to hear things "I'm not doing x for some fringe online movement" because they dont see a greater good, sense, or purpose to it so instead women will get in pro woman spaces demanding it caters to them & their existing habits rather than working within these spaces towards a goal greater than themselves compared to dating which is why they're willing to inconvenience & risk more in that regard.
This might sound extreme but many people whether they're aware of it or not have a purpose for themselves at some point & legacy they want to build to leave something behind or it fulfils them. For me the way I see all of this is that I want to succeed as a single childfree woman as my legacy. That's what I build towards. I occasionally ask myself that if I was to die now would my life & the things I did reflect what I believed in at the end of the day. Now obviously people have different motives & legacy aspirations which causes conflict (even with maIe supremacy it's about legacy which is why maIes live & die for it. It makes it easier for them to reproduce & steal labour from women to pass off as their own & that's something added to their legacy - something that lives beyond). Ofc not everyone gets remembered but in the grand scheme of things as I mentioned it's not about the end goal but the journey there.
The thing with fulfilment is that it is so strong if this thing wasn't there people likely wouldn't know what to do with themselves. Despite the criticisms of religion, part of why it's so powerful & popular is bc many people wouldn't know what to do without that framework shaping their lives. Something they can lean on in hard times, something that directs the way they go about their daily lives so people take it very seriously with its ups and downs as it gives them purpose & they'd be lost otherwise. Similar thing with patriarchy, if you remove the benefits it comes with; maIes wouldn't have a purpose to work towards & existence wouldn't be worth it for most of them. This is why many of them dont care about going on rampages even if it costs them their lives to uphold the system as they have nothing to live for out of maIe supremacy. A loss of those structures would be a net negative as they have to work harder for the same or less results.
For many women, romance is something that fulfils them & adds purpose to their lives (remember having purpose to something means you're willing to struggle for it). In my previous post I addressed the argument of how there'll be violence when women reject maIes en masse but even when women choose to date maIes the risk of violence is still there (which there's endless strategies on how to 'vet' and mitigate) but they still go for it because a having relationship is something bigger than themselves. These things fulfil them so much so that many women refuse to take maIes as they are & actively shut out news about their violence bc it'd make them hate them & they dont want to do that bc losing romance would be losing it all. It isn't just about them, they're looking for someone to explore, build, and create life with as it fulfils them so they'd be willing to take risks to find that. Hell even out of dating, many women will risk their lives & livelihood to advocate for maIes politically as they see the cause as greater than them.
I've provided examples to put this concept in context so for the more relevant part: as a single childfree woman where does this leave you? Find a sense of purpose & fulfilment to it. This is something that has to come from within for it to stick, a sentence I say isn't going to give you purpose bc you dont know me & I dont know you. To a degree, typical things that give people purpose & fulfilment are messages that have been instilled into them from childhood. As people grow & face challenges it's something they lean on and it works for them to get by life. Many religious people look to their creator when they're going through hard times in addition to everything else they do surrounding religion as they devote themselves to that. So having a purpose & sense of fulfilment is important bc when adversity inevitably comes up it will help you overcome it.
TLDR: We're always taking risks depending on what we find purpose & fulfilment in. These things tend to be bigger than ourselves. Find purpose and fulfilment to being a single childfree woman.
This is the final part of my series of posts about the popularity & rise of single childfree women:
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
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fangomango · 1 year ago
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Me scrolling through my dash seeing the @hellsite-hall-of-fame and @hellsite-hall-of-girlfriend 's posts of them literally being the cutest people on earth
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My love life might be dead but by golly do I enjoy seeing these goobers be adorable
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 7#yakuza like a dragon#arasawa#masumi arakawa#jo sawashiro#snap sketches#i said i was almost done with this like five hours ago LMAO liar#i keep accidentally typing yakuza 8 and yeah i hope we get 🏳️‍🌈❓❓ flashbacksin that. i hope we get that. <- we will not#heh this is what i was referencing in that In The Tags post.. continuity from me ?? unimaginable..#lowkey inspo'd by the fact that /my/ lighter is only ever good for one (1) light then its just. Dead for some reason#i dont smoke but i do light incense. if you were wondering.#ANYWAY MY APOLOGY FOR PUTTING ARAKAWA THROUGH HORRORS THIS WEEK#ive got nothing but cute things in mind so to quote linkin park No More Sorrow#i keep drawing them in their twenties and thats not a problem i GUESS but it is for me#but Double Good i do only have Middle Aged Shenanigans on the brain#if i try to imagine any Old Man Yuri its going to get depressing so. forrgive me for the lack of silver foxes. im crying too i know#<- forcing myself to fight off that one evil idea i had AWAY WITH YOU. ANOTHER TIME.#let me detox a bit. after i finish comm work of course.....#i feel like i draw cigarette kisses a lot but i dont remember the last time and i havent drawn it recently so Free Real Estate#drawing this reminded me i have therapy Technically later today 'snap how are these related'#cause my first sess my thera wanted me to talk bout myself and i told her i draw comics and goofy shit like this#and she said some stuff my sis would say fuckin 'if it makes you happy its not dumb :)' like OK. WHATEVER. I KNOW.#also dont worry i dont have a therapist for The Brain Demos its just so i get medicine#ok i should sleep. i wanna get comm stuff done before Phone Therapy so byyyyyyeee#im gonna imagine SO many scenarios that ill inevitably share with all of you at some point
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eyeless-smiles · 3 months ago
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@defyxoblivion asked:
Dream throne was empty. Or at least, it had been. Vecna, the Whispered One, had come to claim it. And the Universe trembled. Now his human vessel stood before the Corinthian, holding the plucked eye of his newest victim.
“You are a delightful creature. I don’t know why Dream of the Infinite would have ever wanted you so limited as to be contained solely to the sleeping world.” With a grin, he held out the bloody orb. “But I’m being rude, keeping you from your meal. Please. You worked hard for this. Enjoy.”
The Corinthian's breath leaves its lips with a tremble. Not out of fear, nor rage, but a deep seated unease to witness another sit in the Dream King's throne. The entire Dreaming is silently screaming out: this is wrong. The Realm is in danger. Passed into the hands of one whom it does not belong.
And like the rest of the Dreaming, the Corinthian wants to hate the intruder. To oust the virus from the heart of Dream's realm.
Instead, the Nightmare reaches out to take the offered eye. Concealed maws studying the visceral orb upon his palm as he swallows down the weight of foreboding that screams from every grain of sand in his being.
"I suppose you will not stop me from re-entering the Waking World, then?" He questions as his fingers close around the gift. He doesn't know who this eye belongs to. Perhaps it is considered rude to not indulge in an offered meal when it is presented to him, but the Corinthian is not about to simply roll over and obey a new ruler for the sake of a treat.
"I don't care much for Dream's realm. But I like my own freedom."
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yannysif · 1 year ago
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Sooo I know I disappeared for a bit again, but this time I was basically doing my own shonen protagonist training arc - been consuming a TON of tutorials and practicing in general, only a few of them are even remotely worth sharing, like this one! I'm not very happy with it, but at the same time, I put in too much effort to let it go to waste so I thought, why not attach a drabble with this because I need to practice my writing alongside my art too..
And so here's a short story of sorts that would take place in the prologue (it won't be exactly like this in-game since I'll have choices and variations to incorporate) hope you enjoy!
"Would you like to dance?"
You look at Lucien as if he's grown an extra head, as he extends his hand to you, waiting. The two of you were taking a stroll in his gardens after dinner, and you were in-between feeling at peace in the environment, and incredibly nervous as you were walking alongside Lucien Lockhart, trying to wrap your head around the fact that he was no longer just your favorite character beyond a screen, he was living, breathing, right next to you, you.
You were quietly taking in the foliage under the moonlight, reveling in the novelty of it, never having had the chance to see such a gorgeous garden at night (but really, everything was new when you were in an entirely different world) when he sprung the question on you.
You could feel his quiet amusement to your reaction, as you stare holes into the palm of his hand, wondering if it was worth taking it, to risk making a completely fool out of yourself in the process, in front of him, and so soon after meeting him? No, you couldn't-
"You are always welcome to say no, please don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to."
Doesn't that just lay on the pressure even more!? But as you look at him and his gentle expression, like you could do no wrong, it felt easier to go along with it. And the moment you placed your hand in his, you felt it was the right choice seeing his face light up from that action alone.
He gently pulls you into position, one hand still holding yours, the other on your waist. He looked for all the world, content, as if it was enough for him just to hold you, have you near. He gives you one last questioning look, silently asking if it's alright to keep going. You can't back out now; you give him a nod, not trusting your voice.
It took all of 2 seconds to step on his foot. Oh this was a terrible idea what were you thinking-
You were brought out of your down-spiral by the sound of your name, prompting you to look up, at his face, his ever present smile when he's near you, immediately providing you with reassurance.
"Don't overthink it, just trust me."
Trust him.
Wasn't that a lot to ask from someone who's practically a stranger? But then again, maybe you weren't. After all, the two of you knew about the other this whole time, when you assumed it was a one-way street. In fact, you think he knows you better (knows you well, too well) than most of the people in your life. You could see it in all the little considerations he made for you in your short time together.
So you couldn't help but want to trust him.
You take a deep breath to ground yourself, and as you do, you could hear music drifting in the air, faint, but present. It was from the musicians Lucien had hired to play during dinner (to welcome you, he explained, when you said it was a bit too much fanfare for someone like you. He promises the next dinner onward would be simpler, for you. You couldn't help but feel a little wonder, at the assured promise of future dinners spent together, like it was only natural.)
So they were still playing, you hadn't noticed from your nervousness, but it made it feel a little less awkward to have some music to dance to.
You set your shoulders, resolute, as you gaze back at Lucien. He gives you a knowing smile, and begins to move again.
Trust him.
And so you do. You let yourself loosen up, trusting him to lead, to go where he pushed and pulled. It takes a moment, but soon the two of you fall into a rhythm, dancing to the music, and soon everything else fell away. You couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips; you were doing it, you were dancing! And when Lucien smiles back at you, eyes filled with nothing but pride and admiration for you, you could feel happiness swell from within you.
"I'm going to spin you, ok?"
The next moment, he gently pulls your arm up and leads you in a twirl, and you couldn't help but feel a little silly(a little giddy) as you enact a scene you could only imagine before.
"Once more"
That was all the warning you get when this time, he lets go of your hand to instead place both on your waist. You couldn't help the gasp ripped out of you when he lifts you for a spin, impossibly stronger than he appeared, but soon devolved into delighted laughter as you grab his shoulders, weightless in the air.
You've never felt freer than you did at this moment.
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charee · 5 months ago
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it's hard to work on a big project ALONE. i have all the freedom in the world to make it perfect my way. but the possibility not having enough time to show the passion and time put into it consumes my thoughts constantly
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skyheld · 5 months ago
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@moonprayed cont. from x
"it feels cold to leave them here." fely'ene's eyes fill with tears as she gazes at the ambushed tieflings. she knows they cannot do anything for them or even to just move them. it feels like just a few days ago they had all shared camp together. and here they were...
she knows ameridan is right, and that he is being practical. but it hurts. how many innocents would need to die to sate this damned absolute? "give me a few minutes." she asks, softly, and move forward towards the corpses.
she kneels by each, placing a hand over their eyes, closing them if they weren't already. she says a few words to her goddess in prayer at each - asking for eilistraee to keep watch over their souls and those that remained safe.
"okay." she stands and looks back at ameridan, resolve on her face. "let's go."
It seems as though every victory they've had has been followed by a setback, or been so costly it hardly seems worth it anyway. They saved the Grove from the Shadow-druids, but it will never be the same; dissent will cut its line through it forever. They saved Halsin and killed the goblin generals, but they waded through so much blood to do it. They saved the tieflings from being cast out of the Grove before the goblin threat had been dealt with — and now they find this.
"Go ahead. I'll wait." He feels guilty now for suggesting they move on without even the barest ceremony. But he says no prayers himself. Luck abandoned these people long ago. Tymora never even looked at them twice while they lived; why would she do it now that they're dead?
Instead he wipes his own tears and counts the bodies. "These aren't all of those who left the Grove", he says when she's done. "Some of them must have either been taken — or they escaped. Though how far they could have gotten, with these Shadows..."
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misc-muses · 3 months ago
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@crvptd replied: Sparkle eyes!! Claps!!!
Kedamono shakes his head madly, but with a pop! the two halves separate and are pulled apart. The purple wolf looks down and wiggles his toes, the previous mask falling away to one of surprise, and then one of excitement that it worked. He claps his hands with Creech, turning towards Popee, who doesn't seem nearly as happy.
Kedamono tilts his head to the side slightly. The teenager shook his head like it hadn't worked and raised the chainsaw again with malicious intent.
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maudlxne · 22 days ago
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In truth, it had never been her intent to startle the other. However, if she had taken the time to take a few steps back to think about her actions Hinata would have been able to realize just how strange it was. There had been no ill will behind it. In fact, it was her own way of an apology for being suspicious about her in the first place. Ironic how she has just thrown the suspicion onto her instead. It only really dawned on her when that uncomfortable look washed over Karin's features.
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Delicate but scar-covered hands raised up, quickly waving them back and forth in panic.
❝ O - Oh ! You. . .you don't have wear to it if it m - makes you uncomfortable! It's just - well - I felt b - bad about being suspicious of you earlier. S - so I wanted to give you something as an apology. I knit as a h- hobby! It gets cold here this time of year s - s- I just thought. . . ❞
In fact, she had plenty of knitted items around her room. Even if her father considered it a waste of time, she was often scolded for it. Still she had taken some time to consider which one to give her.
❝ I - I'm so sorry I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable! ❞
@uzumakichcined continued from X
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princessmyriad · 1 month ago
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#personal#it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog#or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on#that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares#to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems#but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago#and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that#thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna#which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be#the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat#im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better#ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything#my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill#i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone#when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite#i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about#is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for#hours. a whole days worth of hours almost#my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room#in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now#all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help#the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again#lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time#like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of#would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles#24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave#or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people#but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able#to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave#anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time
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perilegs · 2 months ago
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i am my father's son (enjoyer of irl sidequests)
#i didn't get to do the sidequest i almost got though 😔#i exited my apartment. theres a guy outside and i greet him bc i assumed he was a neighbour#and he greets me back and then hes like im sorry i hopped over the fence as a shortcut idk if that's fine#nd then continued and said he'll check if he dropped something#and i'm like yea ok sure!#bc i was going to lidl and i wanted to get going but i did just stand there for a bit in case the guy needed help or something#then he emerged from the fence area and he was like ''if you find something in there can you pick it up akd put out a note'' and i was like#yea ofc! i'll do that if i see anything#and then he was like this is a very nice area so i trust people will let me know if i did drop something#and i was like for sure#im not great at smalltalk but he was very polite so i tried my best#also he seemed like he wasnt having the best time#he might have been on something bc he was slurring his speech and drooling a lot and there was a certain look in his eyes but honestly that#none of my business#we said bye and i sat in my car and then he was like ''hey actually i live like a minute away super close but my bag is super heavy#can i get a ride there it's super close next to [redacted]''#and i moved my bag from the front seat and was like ''yea sure''#and then he stared at me for a bit and was like ''actually i dont want to bother you have a nice day bye'' and left with a wave#i was like you too and waved back#he didnt look like he had any trouble walking so i came to the conclusion that he's fine and then went to lidl#but honestly i am a bit disappointed he didnt want me to give him a ride after all bc he seemed like he would have interesting things to sa#he was super polite and talked a lot and despite me being a finn i dont always mind strangers talking to me#bc if i have nothing important to do it's like. might as well!#another chat outside my apartment ive had was this old lady and she knew a lot about the history of the area we live in#and it was very interesting and also like i said if im in no hurry to go anywhere i love listening to ppl yap about whatever#i hope both the fence hopping guy and the old lady are doing good#leevi talks
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supurman · 6 months ago
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superman    allowed    himself    to    descend    until    he    was    completely    standing    on    the    floor    looking    upon    the    kid    speedster. you    know,    clark    can    never    be    mad    at    any    of    these    kids    (    well,    impulse    was    not    a    kid    any    more... clark    was    just    old    wasn't    he. ). but    he    can    offer    wisdom    where    it    was    needed. his    chin    raised    then    dipped    in    a    slow    nod. hefty    arms    were    crossed    over    the    horizon    of his    chest.
      ❝    you    know    i    have    super    hearing,    right    ?    ❞    one    of    his    singular    brows    raised in    question. ❝    its    just    a    phrase. a    phrase    that    means    i    care. there    won't    always    be    someone    to    save    everyone. so    just    be    careful. besides that, i took care of the rest of what was bothering you. are you chasing something in particular around here ? ❞
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cont / @1mpulsee
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crowncursed · 7 months ago
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"Haha, yeah! ...What?"
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He picked this spot because of the big bird migration that's about to start. She still ...likes birds, right? The view is supposed to be ideal, right here, overlooking the valley.
It is a beautiful and untouched section of nature, now that he taken the time to really take it in. Plant species that he's never seen before, in full bloom, carrying a sweet scent on the spring breeze. The grass is soft beneath his bare feet. A butterfly floats by without a care in the world. Something about it feels... nostalgic.
"Just you wait, Lady, it's about to get even better!" He unrolls the blanket he'd been carrying under his arm, fishes around in the picnic basket for a couple of seconds until he locates a pair of binoculars, and hands them over, imitating an explosion.
@shining-stxrs from x
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ikishima · 8 months ago
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#the amount of compassion you have to pour directly into a bad-faith asshole's mouth without knowing whether there's even a point#in order to get them to the point where they're willing to engage at a level where they actually take your feelings & words into account#the point where they even start hearing you and seeing you as a potential equal in conversation#the point where learning and growing becomes a possibility#is fucking exhausting. and i understand why a lot of people refuse to do it. i understand why some people dont practice what they preach#because sometimes the congregation in question is just there to throw tomatoes without any intent of listening#but idc! idc! im not gonna let a bunch of assholes close my heart off. id rather be naive but kind and get taken advantage of#if the alternative is leaving people behind or making a single person feel the way i have felt#having good intentions but being unable to express it w/o negative emotion or without the correct words or not being given a fighting chanc#to never be seen as a person or heard or listened to is so hurtful#i never want to do that to someone#and if i have parted ways with you or made you feel like that at any point please know it is only when i have no other options left#i know it's an autism thing to be so utterly gutted at being misunderstood and i'm most likely giving energy to people who don't deserve it#but i dont care! i dont care!#my compassion IS a renewable resource because i keep feeding it hope and humanity#i get mad sometimes but please know every angry word i've ever said has stuck on my mind like a glue trap#i remember every fight i have been slightly too aggressive and potentially awful in since the fifth grade and i continue to ruminate#on harm i have caused however big or small#i feel so surrounded by hate and anger and i just want to be that person who doesnt get caught up in it and can be compassionate no matter#lots to think about today ...#x
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