#/ tw ; abuse.

[hesitationss]

i hate feeling like my only purpose in life is to get married to a man and have kids i don't even want kids in general and we live in a super patriarchal society and my house like many houses is super chaivanistic despite being raised in a single parent household. everyone is obsessed with me getting a boyfriend, my mom doesn't even like me unless it's to set me up w a boyfriend because i'm too weird and not normal and also have a lot of behavioural problems because i'm my family's scapegoat. and apparently getting a bf would make me normal and 'set me straight'. sometimes i don't even know if i'm bisexual or a lesbian because it's really hard to tell if my disinterest in a lot of dudes is because a lot of mother's treat their daughters as broodmares outside of serving men. like i frequently have to ask her why she hates women. and she frequently refers to me as the fat ugly daughter when i'm not around. and would imply i was a slut or whore or whatever when i was a kid because i would get to hang out w my dad sometimes who is also not a good parent. also said i lie and beg men for attention because i'm a csa survivor and also says that my cousin is difficult cuz my dad beat him up when he was like 8 and stuff. sometimes i wish i had my cousins parents as parents because they actually defend him and stuff idk wouldn't it be nice to have parents who see you as people and support you or take in interest in you bcuz they like you? it's also crazy that she doesn't like how i look. like her and my dad have been telling me i've been ugly and fat and nobody likes me and wants to be my friend and i'm better off not trying to even look nice for myself. like maybe if i wasn't experiencing child abuse i would care my about maintaining my appearance. and then when i relapse into maladaptive/self harming behavior because she is reminding me that she only likes me if i'm well enough for a man to find attractive so i start being like 'maybe i should kms instead' she's like 'wow you have so many problems, do you know what would fix you? getting a boyfriend. having a boyfriend will make you normal'.... also my siblings bully me too, it was way worse when i was a teenager but they would also blame me for when our mom would start beating my ass i have a hard time experiencing any caring emotion for them... being a middle child and also a scapegoat and also queer and also having many ACEs and also the eldest daughter of an immigrant household or whatever the fuck the saying is is so lonely and difficult. this also why i've never have fun when i have sex and can't date like a normal person but that is another issue.. it feels like my whole family is saying things in my head when i try to have normal connections with other people. anyway i don't want kids and my family is mean to me and everyone thinks i'm fucked up for not having a boyfriend. also when i did try to date people in highschool my mom when say i shouldn't have one because people don't like me much. but also idc what she says it's just emotionally taxing to hear all the time. like my life is literally so uncentered around men and they don't influence my decision making or choices at all. in fact if i am is in front of me or speaking to me i may start acting rude and emasculate them on instinct. anyways if i start killing people it's literally my human right... meow meow meow meow meow etc.

[compassionatereminders]

The worst thing is that there is so much potential for exploring the horror of psych wards from the angle of medical abuse, ableism, forced treatment/drugging, loss of autonomy, power imbalance, demonization, dehumanization, etc, and YET the horror genre keeps defaulting to "insane asylums and psych wards are scary because there are mentally ill people in there"

[violetsandshrikes]

I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family

I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, let’s called her “P”, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives

Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.

The reality for lots of tradwives living “perfect lives” is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasn’t in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didn’t matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.

Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people don’t consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.

It wasn’t that she was “stupid”, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like they’re being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, women’s bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.

She’s doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a woman’s support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.

I don’t envy tradwives, but I don’t find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, they’re also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, they’re screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isn’t carefully curated).

[classycookiexo]

[wildbasil]

things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[teaboot]

Adult ProTip, from a security professional: If a kid tells you, "My parents are gonna kill me / kick my ass / kick me out" for something relatively minor, don't respond with shit like "Really? ;) that sounds a little extreme, don't you think sweetie?" because that shit really does happen.

Instead, respond as though whatever threat they are afraid of is fully valid, and offer whatever you can do to help- ask if they believe they are in danger of being hurt in any way, and work accordingly.

If they're overreacting, they'll usually realize and dial it back, self-correct and begin thinking a bit more rationally.

If they're not overreacting, and the danger is real, then they'll need a level-headed adult in their corner, not another condescending authority figure who doesn't believe them.

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

How Bill was defeated and captured by Ford in my Gf AU! He basically just tricked Bill into accepting a deal that trapped him within Ford's mind and under his control :]

He may have gotten a little out of hand though....

>:)

Next post :]

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

I decided to clean up an old comic of mine! A thirty something year old Tintin reflects on his childhood with Chang.

[star-anise]

In a sick way I find it really funny how toxic estranged parents say "in the old days, people had to stick around and work their issues out!"

Things People Did Back in the Old Days to Escape "Working Things Out" with Their Parents, A Short List:

Murder them!

Marry literally anyone who'd get you away

Fisticuffs

Change your name and pretend to be an orphan

Move out and feud with them for several generations

Join a monastery

Move to the city and get a job in a factory

Buy passage on a boat to some other continent

Convert to a different religion

Join the Navy

ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING

It's incredible, the number of things people would do to get away from shitty parents. Then and now.

[animentality]

[compassionatereminders]

Hey did y'all ever think about that if doctors blame all fat people's medical issues on them being too fat without proper investigation and then feel justified in neglecting their medical concerns, then statistically more fat people WILL develop and potentially die from serious health issues and it might not actually be because of the fat when everything comes down to it

[emotionaleating]

pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning

[fawningvictim]

“you can take it” while im sobbing and screaming for them to stop

[temperheist]

mentorship was probably scary for him at first

[star-anise]

I really wonder if trauma theorists who say things like "Humans are the only animal that will be in a fright state when physically safe" or "the rest of the animal kingdom doesn't get PTSD" have ever, like

Do you think they've actually ever met an animal?