#+many decades of debt but let's not talk about that

[nihongoseito]

as of just now, i’m officially HALFWAY done with my masters program!!! (?!?!)

[darcylindbergh]

I've talked a lot about why you should vote AGAINST Trump. No fucking shit, right? But I want to vote FOR something, too.

Kamala Harris hasn't had time yet to put together her platform documents, though no doubt we'll see those in the coming days. But this is a good analysis of where she and Joe Biden stand - and Kamala is more progressive on every front.

Abortion rights: Joe would've restored Roe, but Kamala would expand it to prevent states from limiting access. The pre-clearance measure discussed here is a non-starter but I'd expect Kamala to be looking at how to frame the issue for another try.

Israel and Gaza: it's true that Kamala hasn't broken with Joe publicly about Gaza. However, the article goes on:

Harris hasn’t exactly broken with Biden over the issue. But she has expressed more public sympathy than Biden has over the tens of thousands of Palestinians who have died during Israel’s counterattack. In March, she was one of the earliest high-profile leaders in the administration to call for an immediate temporary cease-fire in March. She also delivered the sharpest rebuke against Israel’s handling of aid flows into Gaza and described the conflict as a “humanitarian catastrophe” for innocent civilians. And privately, she has told Biden and other top officials that the administration needed to take a stronger stance against Netanyahu and focus on a long-term peace to the decades-long conflict, people familiar with her remarks have previously told POLITICO.

Kamala has also declined to preside over the upcoming session of Congress that Netanyahu is speaking at, on invitation by Republicans. She wasn't scheduled to before this, but I think declining now is a clear indicator that her foreign policy will not include the broad support we saw from Joe.

Climte Change: Honestly, the Build Back Better bill was so fucking substantial and incredible I think Kamala would be hard-pressed to do much more. I think Kamala needs to have a solid response ready to the recent Supreme Court decision overturning Chevron, which is the biggest threat to the EPA and other agencies in our lifetimes. (Trump, by the way, would abolish the EPA and the vast majority of environmental protections.)

Student debt relief: She was more progressive earlier, and I expect we'll see many of Joe's relief packages continue expanding.

Similarly:

Free college: Kamala's in full support. I understand Joe's position that students from wealthy families should pay their own way, but I also know from experience that students from wealthy family not immune to financial abuse by controlling parents.

Trade: this is actually a great one to know, because Kamala's hesitance on these trade agreements are related to a) environmental concerns, and b) outsourcing American jobs. Republicans love to lose their shit over outsourcing American jobs. Here's more significance in the trade sphere:

This is going to be a HUGE talking point for your conservative-leaning relatives. Business leaders do not want Trump in office, because the agenda laid out in Project 2025 will make it harder for them to do business - it will make it harder for them to attract global talent, costlier to import and export, and stunt economic growth. Do you know that "undecided" voter who votes red for "fiscal responsibility?" This your talking point. Kamala's platform spends, but in such a way that it will stimulate economic growth and solidify the US as a business leader worldwide.

Artificial Intelligence: I'll let Kamala speak for herself.

“History has shown, in the absence of regulation and strong government oversight, some technology companies choose to prioritize profit over the wellbeing of their customers, the safety of our communities, and the stability of our democracies,” Harris said during her visit to the U.K. for November’s AI Safety Summit.  Last July, during the early days of the White House’s mobilization on AI policy, Harris led a meeting among civil rights, labor and consumer protection groups where she rejected the “false choice” between promoting innovation and protecting the public.

The article also talks about data privacy, where Kamala and Joe are very similar, and animal welfare. Historically, Kamala defended animal welfare protections in CA, but remember that as Attorney General, Kamala's job was to defend the law no matter what her personal feelings were. Biden made some strides here, but many will agree not enough - I think this is a place where Kamala has to tread very carefully because progressives are in favor of more stringent animal welfare protections, but agricultural and rural voters are already a demographic inclined to view progressive agendas negatively, feeling forgotten, misunderstood, and passed over in favor of large cities. It's definitely a weakness for the Dems so I wouldn't expect to hear much about animal welfare as a voting issue.

IN SUM

I'm very happy to vote FOR Kamala, not just against Trump. I think she stands to take stronger action on abortion, stronger action on Israel and Gaza, stronger action on college and student debt relief. I think she'll continue work inherited on environmental protections and infrastructure. I think she will do more to protect LGBTQ+ individuals and unions, as well as standing strong on disability reform and criminal justice reform (yes, I know she was a prosecutor, and I also know that she worked on several important CJ reforms during her time as AG - here's an article about her progressive record as DA).

Remember, there's no such thing as a protest vote. The only people who benefit by third-party voting or choosing not to vote are the far-right.

[slippinninque]

🎊🥂 Tanoshī Yoru 🥂🎊

You both have some catching up to do...

Koji Shimazu x BlackFemReader

warnings: some cursing, seduction, flirting, banter, spicy-fluff, long fic, brief description of violent, jumps between past/future

note: italic parts are flashbacks

The blade was buried deep in your thigh but you had yours in his shoulder. The two of you paused in your whirlwind as

In the pause of your whirlwind, you bared your teeth down at the most blazing eyes and couldn't help yourself.

"You wanna grab a bite later?"

"I cannot believe my eyes."

Your heart jumped but you still played coy, looking over your shoulder as you sat at the ornate bar.

"Hello, handsome."

The years have done Koji Shimazu a service--still devastatingly handsome in his suit, haori combination. The glasses more than suited him and you were pleased to note he kept his hair long now.

Koji came close and you couldn't resist placing a kiss on his cheek. He smelled of bitter tea and neat cologne. He took hold before you could pull away, pressing his cheek to yours.

"It's been far too long."

"....The longest it's ever been, I think."

Patient hands stitching a wound, a small payment towards an already dropped debt. This time you smiled--never knowing that someone could be gentle with a needle.

He spoke down towards your wound, playing chicken with the threads you teethed out from your shirt.

"...I like Udon..."

"Huh. Me too. Udon it is..."

Once he had his hands on you, Koji whisked you off to a private booth and asked you if you were hungry. Only a few moments later and a precession of waiters bearing dishes and platters came to load the table.

"This is sooo good, Koji! Many compliments to the cooks back there!"

"I will be so sure to pass them along. I'll be pleased to let you know that I personally participated in the tasting of this week's menu."

You batted your lashes at him as, "Did you now? How lucky am I you take such good care?"

Koji gave you a wink so flirty that it made you feel twenty again as one of your shoulders drew up, coyly turning away with your delicious bowl of udon as he chuckled into his next bite.

It was one of those nights that you all felt invincible. Caine and John jousting for the last skewer while Koji rubbed your feet beneath the kotetsu.

You laughed hard enough that you couldn't feel the pain in your ribs or see the knot on the side of Caine's head. You looked over at Koji and saw his eyes fixed to your skin exposed by your tattered shirt.

Koji licked his lips.

--------

You both talked about the years lost between you. It's been nearly a decade since the last time you saw each other in person. The butterflies that fluttered all the way with you to Osaka finally rested, their wings beating to the tune of your contented heart.

While Koji made a name for himself in Management, you kept yourself as freelance as possible. Keeping your distance was the only way to keep your independence from the High Table until you went into Information. It was a useful way to keep tabs on your old friends and new wards, as your reputation continues to precede you.

In the exchange of photos and phones, you shifted close enough to each other that the bowls of your wineglasses touched. It felt more than good, more than right to be pressed to close as the both of you reminiscence.

When Koji asked about the light line of skin peeking around your shoulder, you told him about the 12 year old contract from Berlin that came to haunt you only a few years prior.

"It was a quick clean up but it got me banned from my favorite Meijer! Shame too--that Meijer had the best perennial selection..."

You sweet Koji looked troubled about the long-faded scar. His fingers traced the line down to where it vanished beneath the lace of your dress but further still to your lower back.

Soon you were pressed side to side with Koji's arm coiled around you to keep you close. He was still the same old 'Smooth Shimazu' after all.

"Ah, I nearly forgot!" You startled as you remembered the solid, slim gift bag at your feet. You hurried to present it to Koji with a little tune, you clapped your hands softly as he was opening it.

Koji gave a laugh as he appraised the bottle of sake, "Oh wow! Nanbu Bijin Tokubetsu! A night of favorites, indeed."

He popped the cork quickly and you held out his glass first to be filled.

Koji's eyes slipped closed with a pleased hum at the first sip. You watched him, the redness of his lips pressed to the glass and how his throat bobbed.

"This brings back memories...."

You thought of the moonless nights hiding out in the country and long stake outs while gathering information. You thought of the two glasses you shared once you heard about what Caine gave and how John left.

You thought of Koji's hands on you and his voice running through you clean enough to shake you apart ten years ago.

A hand tore at your hair and you cut the forearm for it's trouble. An opening near the ribs and you took it, bracing back against the wall to steady your kick.

It sent you both flying but your hand landed on a bottle neck as the man with the blazing eyes staggered to his feet.

You leaned your head on his shoulder as you took your own sip, getting lost in the gentle jazz of the live band that replaced the DJ earlier in evening.

This was the sake the two of you shared since the fateful night you met and nearly killed each other. The only unbroken thing left after your carnage that went on to become a inside joke between the two of you for years to come.

"May I whisper something to you?"

Oh, Koji. You nodded and watched from beneath your lashes as Koji came closer to you. One of his arms draped warmly around your shoulder as his free hand met yours.

The brush of his goatee against your cheek tickled sweetly as his pressed closer to your ear,

"I find myself...struggling to focus on the past with you so close in the present." His nose barley brushed your lobe and you were already breathless.

The feel of Koji being so close was proving to be too much. It's been so long since you've wanted to be held, to be touched--your slumbering lust rousing for his touch only.

The longing in your heart was stoked into urgency as you felt Koji's lips brush against the shell of your ear.

"You still smell so good," Koji's voice dipped into a purr pressed to your jumping pulse, "My everlasting temptation..."

You moved your neck to the side to gift him with more space to claim, "Only for you. Always and only for you, Koji."

Koji pulled you closer with a hand on the other side of your thigh, making you grin.

"Forgive me if I'm being forward, but would you care to join me in indulging in a few more delights? Aside from the good sake."

Koji's eyes glinted in the candle light and you saw how they slid across your body, the hand on your thigh starting to massage.

In this perfect moment of knowing you could finally follow Koji where he could go--you wanted nothing more in that moment than to follow the man to the elevator and beyond.

You swayed into the song of his lips and assured him, "I would love to join you, Koji."

--------

✨ending notes✨: i love me some Koji and god help me i have so many ideas for this man!🥰 I'm thinking of doing a part 2 because I don't know when to quit 🤣 Tell me what you think and comments/reblogs are always appreciated! ✨💜💕TYSM for reading!!! 💜✨💕

💕taglists💕: @megamindsecretlair @sageispunk @harmshake @blowmymbackout @miyuhpapayuh @ellethespaceunicorn

[myemuisemo]

While I was pondering whether Mrs. Douglas had a "freeze" reaction to trauma in chapter V of The Valley of Fear, chapter VI appeared with the answer, and I fear Letters from Watson will soon provide chapter VII, so let's get cracking.

There are three things top of mind for me today:

The Panic of 1873

Yews

Dumbbells

The Panic of 1873

When I worked out the timeline for Cecil Barker's recounting of "we did this for five years and this for one year," etc., etc., assuming that the story takes place in late 1888 or early 1889, the year I got for Barker's likely arrival in the U.S. was 1873.

That's significant: he set off to make his fortune, ending up in the gold fields of California, about the time that a global depression was starting.

The short version of the Panic of 1873 is that after the Civil War, U.S. railroad bonds (that is, the debt used to finance railroad construction) were the hot investment, not just in the US, but in Europe, especially Germany. Nineteenth-century investing was mostly in bonds -- this is why people talk in Victorian novels about having investments in 3-percents that pay 10,000 pounds a year, or similar. When you invested your money, the company was literally in debt to you, and it paid you a safe "coupon" of interest on that debt.

Not all bonds were the same. People were "ruined" by investing in companies that did not have stable cash flow or were outright fraudulent.

The initial problem in 1873 was not with the railroads, though, but with trading in the bonds. When German investors moved on to other investments, there were too many railroad bonds running loose, causing their value to plummet. That took out a US bank that had a hefty investment in those bonds, as their asset value dropped. The bank failure caused a panic, which cascaded through the system. This article and this one explain some of the specifics.

Anyway, Cecil Barker seeks his fortune abroad at a time loosely equivalent to the Great Recession of 2008.

In 1873, California was wrapping up efforts to exterminate native peoples -- no, I'm not exaggerating. This was not covered in 4th grade state history, 5th grade U.S. history, nor 8th or 11th grade U.S. history when I was in school!

By 1873, Gold Rush hysteria was over and some of the original sites in the Sierra Nevada foothills had been largely mined-out and abandoned, though mining still continued where it could. San Francisco was establishing itself as "the Paris of the West." The Central Valley, where I live, was getting rail built down its length, with towns established at various points for taking on fuel and water, as well as for picking up wheat and other crops that didn't require intensive irrigation (which wouldn't arrive for ~40 years).

It's not me, it's YEW

After decades of reading British novels, I have finally looked up what a yew is. I'd always envisioned something like the Chinese juniper that's planted everywhere around here: a low, dense hedge with soft packets of needles and a pungent, dusty scent.

Nope. I far underestimated the yew. It is a tree that makes Tolkien's Ents look small and non-threatening. Visit this yew-focused page to see the most terrifying trees. The existence of the yew also explains folktales of the British Isles where fair folk live in hollow trees. Yikes.

The yew traditionally symbolizes death, so the yew hedge is an excellent place to hang out after one's husband is mysteriously murdered.

(While you're there, the Ancient Tree Inventory is great for hours of exploration and arboreal terror.)

Where is the missing dumbbell?

The fact that Douglas has dumbbells at all is interesting, as the physical culture movement only really took off in the US in the 1880s, and it was slower to arise in England due to a greater cultural emphasis on "games."

He may have been influenced by his German first wife, as it was German immigrants in the 1850s who popularized the "Turner" movement of liberal political philosophy and physical fitness, the latter through vigorous gymnastics. Turnverein had a significant role in bringing PE into American schools.

Depending how one interprets the dumbbells, Douglas could be:

Forward-thinking

Eccentric

Worried about physical attacks or about aging

Very into German culture

We can't ask Mrs. Douglas, as, per Cecil Barker, Douglas' "perfect" trust in her did not include telling her... oh, anything actually important about his life.

I really want to know who was using whom in this household.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Your analytic posts are the best:) Could you talk a bit about the scene on the roof of the embassy between Inej and Kaz? I have so many questions. They might die, so why does Inej pick that moment to tell Kaz she is leaving the Dregs? Why not wait until they are on the boat? Also why does Kaz rub her wrist (through the gloves, of course) where the temporary menagerie tattoo is? Why does Inej touch Kaz's cheek? And why does Inej tell him she will die unafraid?

Kaz's POV chapter previous to this scene is the only one where he doesn't really think about Inej. He is totally focused on finding Pekka in the prison. So, I was surprised when he said to Inej "I want you to know..." What did he want her to know? (I'm sure with her hand on his face --the first positive physical contact he's had in almost a decade--and her question to him about dying unafraid, his mind was reeling. It's no wonder he couldn't formulate an answer to her question).

Hello and welcome to episode one of DK Finally Gets It Together And Answers Her Asks Because It's About Damn Time (working title)

I am so sorry you sent this such a long time ago, but thank you so much for asking it and I hope my terrible answeringness (that's a word now, I've decided) hasn't put you off my stuff, I promise I'm not ignoring you on purpose, when I first read this I thought it was really interesting and I needed some time to think about it and now it's so long later it might even be a year and yeah, I'm sorry, but I'm here - let's go!

So I think that the reason Inej chooses to tell Kaz she's leaving the Dregs in this moment is for the very reason you voiced: they might die tonight, and they might not see each other again before that happens. Inej comments earlier on in the book, when they get hot chocolate at a cafe in Djerholm and wait for Nina to return, that whenever she talks about Ravka or about going home Kaz turns away and tries to find another conversation - in this case I think he starts chatting to Jesper - so we already have this idea that he doesn't want to confront the truth of the situation, which is that Ketterdam is a very temporary part of Inej's life. For Kaz the city is what fuels him and he needs it to enact his vengeance, but he also never sees himself leaving it after Rollins is dead and I think that's really interesting because he almost doesn't know how to comprehend any other existence - I've spoken before about how I don't think that killing Rollins will ever be enough for him and that his revenge is essentially an addiction. It's possible that he will one day be able to find the future and the relief that he needs in Inej, but right now not only does he struggle to view himself as ever leaving Ketterdam but he also struggles with the idea of being alone there - as far as he can see Nina and Matthias will go home together/find a new home together, Wylan will make peace with his father over whatever their arguement was and return to the Geldstradt, Jesper will pay off his debts only to carry on digging himself in deeper whilst Kaz is forced to watch him destroy himself, and Inej will leave and let Ketterdam become a brief blip in her life. I think that, for all he doesn't want to care about the others, Kaz has a very real fear of being an impermanent, small aspect of the others' lives whilst they are such a big aspect of his. And the most frightening part of that for him is to not have Inej with him anymore, the one person he can confide in, seemingly the only person he talks to without specific job-related purposes except maybe Jesper, and the only person he can remove his gloves on front of - I think this inner conflict is really well presented in the Bathroom Scene when he thinks about how he'd concocted a thousand schemes to bind her to him, but that ultimately he knew he was in the wrong and so he paid off her contract with Per Haskell and returned it to her. But from Inej's perspective, considering she doesn't know how he feels about her at this time, I think this could almost look cold. He doesn't want to know about her home, her life, who she was supposed to be, and what she's going to do with her future, and she may even be internalising the idea that the idea she can pay off her debts then up and leave angers him because we know that she massively internalised his description of her as "an investment" with damaging psycological consequences including her belief that she would not come to save her when she was taken by Van Eck and this even extending so far as the quote "He'll never trade if you break me". This is a gut-wrenching moment in Crooked Kingdom, when Inej is forced to admit that she genuinely believes Kaz will not care about her anymore if he "has no use for me anymore", whilst the reader knows that Kaz is losing his mind over rescuing her.

And all of that, as Kaz points out to himself on Black Veil during the "I would come for you" scene, is borne of real actions he completes that, although in a far less intentional way, actually align with some of the abuse that Inej has endured; the dehumanisation she experienced from being "bought and sold like a bolt of cotton" and the way she was denied her own identity to the point that she almost cried when she heard her own name said aloud can both be directly linked to the multiple times Kaz refers to her as an "investment" and the way he doesn't want to hear about her life. And his intentions are never to hurt her in the way he does or in the way she was hurt in the past, but it is also more than possible that some of this is part of the way Kaz distances himself from the others and pushes them away. There's a quote I think about a lot when Inej is horrified to see that Jackal masks, sacred symbols to Suli religion and culture, are sold like "party favours" and worn by pleasure seekers in Ketterdam and Kaz dismisses her emotions, and he then says "In moments like that, she thought he might hate him". I remember reading that and thinking 'yeah, because you just defended the appropriation of her culture, which she herself was forced to appropriate for a year whilst enduring horrific abuse, it would be more than fair to be mad at you right now' but I wonder whether that's almost what he wanted? I talked about it in my "Treasure of my heart" analysis as well where he uses a sarcastic expression of his real feelings to mock her so that's she'll be upset and he come somehow justify that it's therefore not worth liking her because she doesn't return his feelings; it's a self-destructive mechanism, but without meaning to it has the potential to hurt Inej as well.

Wow, if there were awards for tangents I think I'd win them. But my point here is that I think this is exactly why she chooses to tell him in this moment, because she has to say it and she has to make him hear it in case they don't make it out the other side of this night. It's also possible that Inej wants to have her dream said out loud in case she dies tonight. Although she was unable to voice it to Nina because she didn't think it was ready to be shared, that was when they were still following the original plan. Now that everything has spiralled very quickly out of control and into a new, far more daring plan with a lot more moving parts, and that will directly involve revealing themselves to be infiltrating the Ice Court, Inej knows there's a very good chance she won't survive the night. And if she isn't going to make it, she needs someone to know what she intends to do, it needs to be said out loud so that it's real and it means something.

Wondering what Kaz wanted Inej to know is one of the things about these books that has at some point or other kept me awake at night, and honestly my personal final conclusion is that I don't think he knew what he was going to say, but that I think this could have been his first attempt at a confession. This scene bears explicit parallels to the Bathroom Scene in Crooked Kingdom, as you said it's the first time they touch and both of them are greatly vulnerable in each moment; this is a moment of fear, of trust, of realisation, and I think for both of them it arguable is to some extent a confession. I think Inej tells Kaz that she will die unafraid as almost the beginning of what eventually becomes "I will have you without armour", she is directly challenging him in the way he hides his emotions but she has still seen them, and she directly telling him that she is trying to heal and that they only have a chance if he tries to heal as well. Inej doesn't tell Kaz she will only have him without his armour to say that he isn't good enough for her as he is or that he needs to fix himself alone for the final goal of being with her, but she is saying that if he continues down this path and never lets anyone help him and never makes any attempt at healing, that she will not be able to stay with him because she has to try to heal as well and she knows she would have to pull herself away from that situation to be able to do so. I really hope this makes sense. But I think that the touching of Kaz's cheek and the touching of the temporary menagerie tattoo could very much be linked to this idea that the confession has begun or will be coming and I also think it bears resemblance to the Bathroom Scene and I really adore that as a paralell

Thank you so so much for your question, I am so sorry about how long it has taken me to respond but I hope that this was interesting and made sense. And I am planning on continuing to work through my inbox moving forwards, so stay tuned for episode two, and please don't be put off form keeping asks coming I promise I am making my way through them! <3

[theoxenfree]

I think I'm on the verge of a panic attack

because, because, my abuser — my own brother — reached out to ask if I was coming home for thanksgiving. and, initially, I just said no and was gonna leave it. but I'm so fucking angry at so many things right now that I just fucking erupted.

I completely went off on him. I can't believe I did that. "can't believe" in a "I've dreamed of doing this for almost twenty years!" sort of disbelief.

I'm waiting for him to deny it. I'm waiting for him to tell my family I'm a fucking cunt and trash and an addict and a failure

I'm waiting for my parents to ask what's going on, and it makes me sick at the thought of my mom finding out bc she's never been the same since a psychotic break she had years ago

but my dad???? he knew he knew he knew

he caught my brother and what was happening, and he kept it quiet. just told my brother never to touch me qgain

but he never told mom, or my sister. neither did my brother. and neither did I bc I was told not to, and I thought it'd be right bc saying anything would "hurt people"

it hurt me it hurt me that I suffered for 20+ years. I can't experience normal ranges of emotions, I can't keep friendships, I can't have relationships, I can't handle intimacy without flashbacks and disgust

but, I absolutely lost it. and he read it

I told him to never talk to me again, and if he tries, I'll just block him. but I can't believe it

I'm proud of what I said. the child in me is weeping from being scared of what will happen. the teenager in me is crying because someone finally stood up for her, her feelings, and believed her. the young adult in me has fallen to her knees and is thanking me for all the things she wanted to say but never could

here's what I said, because I want you to know that I'm shaking, and I'm fucking terrified, but I finally... finally feel closer to freedom

huge tw; childhood molestation, guilt tripping (I'm sorry, I got caught up in what I was saying but it isn't a lie), suicidal ideation, it's extremely vulgar I'm sorry, very raw

And I'm already in a shit enough mood, so I'm going to tell you part of the reason why.

I want you to understand just how ROYALLY you've fucked up my life. After everything you did to me as a kid. I need you to understand that I've NEVER forgotten, not ONCE. not ONE DAY in my entire time. I need you to understand what you did me and how I was raised in that family made it IMPOSSIBLE for me to survive my 20s without debt and sitting in psychiatric instructions and have to take fucking meds so I didn't goddamn OFF myself.

And do you know just how many times I've actually come close to actually doing it? Because dying would've been better than living with the reality and the memories and everything I felt day in and day out.

I need you to understand that I CANNOT have regular friendships or relationships. That any sort of closeness from people fucking disgusts me. I don't let people touch me. I don't let people in.

I need you to understand that whenever someone has ever TRIED to touch me, I think of my childhood and what happened and I become nauseous, I shake, I breakdown, and have panic attacks. And I can't stand the idea.

I've been severely depressed almost my ENTIRE life, but nobody ever took me seriously. I couldn't talk to anyone about it. And it took me until almost 30 to be able to get anywhere in my life where I'm even borderline stable.

My last straw back then before I left what WHATEVER that fiasco with Mom was at the time.

I've had to work my ass off to get any sort of decent, comfortable scraps that I get now. And coming home. Seeing you. Seeing anyone in that family will undo A DECADE of hard fucking work I've had to do to be able to function on a level where I could have a semblance of comfort and normalcy.

So, no, I'm not coming home for Thanksgiving or probably any other holiday. It's a shame, because the kids? I think about them constantly, and I worry about them constantly.

And I genuinely hope you didn't wreck those fucking kids like you did me. I don't know you. I've never known you. And I don't want to.

But just know, you're seared in my goddamn memory in the worst way anyone could possibly be. If you've forgotten all of that, well, good for you and I'm glad you can live with yourself everyday of your life.

I will never forgive you. So, you can tell everyone whatever you want to. You can make up a reason why I'm not coming back, you can call me the worst person in existence and that's fine with me.

But, I'm asking you this politely and as a final kindness: Never contact me again. And this is the ONLY time I'm saying it. Tell everyone what you want, I don't really care at this point in my life.

I've never forgotten, (brothers name). And, honestly, I hope it haunts you.

and jsyk, I do keep an open line with my older sister and the kids. they know they can always reach out to me and I'll take them seriously. I was going to write something else completely different, but that man reacts badly to threats—so, for my safety, I said what I did there.

[wiccawrites]

KinnPorsche Fic Masterlist | wicca @ ao3

Last Updated: Sept. 26, 2023 | my ao3

Series: A Blooming Oleander (ABO Verse)

The premise of KinnPorsche The Series but in an omegaverse setting where Kinn is an omega and Porsche is an alpha. Diverges from canon.

Blooming Oleander (18/18) | Explicit | 175,274 words | Alpha!Porsche x Omega!Kinn

One does not become the only omega among the heirs of the Thai underworld without knowing how to take what he wants.

Notable Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Morally Ambiguous Characters, Trope Inversion

Warm Heart (1/1) | General Audiences | 11,915 words | Alpha!Kim x Omega!Chay side story to Blooming Oleander

Five times Chay puts up with Kim's mixed signals and the one time where he finally has enough.

Notable Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Pining, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers

Series: of the feline persuasion (Jaguar hybrid!Porsche Verse)

Someone pays off their debt with a rare jaguar hybrid and Kinn gets much more than he initially bargained for.

Feline Purrsuasion (6/6) | Mature | 36,591 words | Mafia Boss!Kinn x Jaguar Hybrid!Porsche

"He's a cat hybrid," Kinn says, unable to hide how underwhelmed he is. Considering the price Ban had mentioned, Kinn had hoped for a dog hybrid, at least. Someone who was less likely to be averse to working with others and who would probably make a good bodyguard with sufficient training.

Ban tries to reply but he's interrupted by a deep, menacing growl that crests into a full fledged roar before he can get a word in.

Kinn whistles.

"Alright, he's a big cat hybrid."

aka: 5 times Kinn accidentally makes his jaguar hybrid bodyguard purr + 1 time Porsche purrs for him on purpose

Notable Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Pining, Oblivious!Kinn, mentions of trauma, references to past torture

the cat that got the cream (1/1) | Explicit | 9,662 words | PWP sequel to Feline Purrsuasion

Some things are worth the wait.

Or: In which Porsche finally passes his Assessment and makes Kinn fulfill his end of their agreement. Many times.

Notable Tags/Warnings: PWP, Dom/sub Undertones, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Rough Sex, Body Worship, Size Queen Porsche, Pet Names, Come Swallowing, Vibrators, Praise Kink, Size Kink, Dirty Talk

Alone Together (3/?) | Explicit | 12,584 words | Ancient Vampire!Kinn x Fledgling Vampire!Porsche

It is twenty years after The Awakening – the global phenomenon which ultimately led to humans discovering the existence of vampires – and Thailand is on the cusp of a long-awaited political milestone. After a decade of hard work, a bill that aims to uphold both human and vampire rights is close to being finalized.

Unfortunately, this is also when something decides to turn Bangkok into its own hunting ground.

Notable Tags/Warnings: Morally Ambiguous Characters, Political Intrigue, Mystery, Childe/Sire Bond(s), Soul Bond

Moonchild (we're born in the moonlight) - 3/3 | Explicit | 3,619 words | Red Riding Hood Retelling

"Let me walk you home, then," Kinn offers, recalling the recent accidents and all the superstitions he'd heard about the forest ever since he was a boy. "Even if you live close by, these woods can get dangerous. You should always get home before nightfall."

"Trust me," Porsche smiles, teeth sharp and brown eyes glittering an almost golden hue under the late afternoon light. "I'll be fine."

He lets Kinn walk him home anyway.

Notable Tags/Warnings: Dark Fairy Tales, Werewolves, Fantasy, Trans Male Character, Mates, Vaginal Sex

just this once (1/1) | Teen and Up Audiences | Canon Compliant Kinn x Porsche

Kinn gets a moment of clarity. A brief second where he becomes painfully aware of two conflicting facts: first, he wants to kiss Porsche and second, he is not drunk enough to give in.

He does anyway.

aka the ending of Episode 3 from Kinn’s perspective.

Notable Tags/Warnings: Character Study, Canon Compliant, First Kiss

Recovery (1/1) | Teen and Up Audiences | Canon Divergent Kinn x Porsche

"I should have known better than to give you an order and expect you to follow me," Kinn says from the doorway of Porsche's hospital room.

aka my take on the side story before we knew there was gonna be a side story

Notable Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed

i'll be yours (if you'll be mine) | Explicit | Canon Compliant Kinn x Porsche

Kinn is a flame, burning, burning, oh so bright, and Porsche wants nothing more than for Kinn to consume him if it means he gets to have Kinn to himself in return.

Notable Tags/Warnings: Character Study, Porn with Feelings

The Call of the Deep (1/1) | Explicit | Eldritch Horror!Kinn x Mermaid!Porsche

To the Merfolk, the depths of the ocean are as equally terrifying as the surface – and for good reason. But Porsche isn't about to let anything stop him from finding his missing brother.

Notable Tags/Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Aphrodisiacs, Drugged Sex, Tentacle Sex, Corruption, Forced Orgasms

mirror, mirror (1/1) | Explicit | Canon KinnPorsche

When they started this twisted game of cat and mouse, Porsche was sure he was the cat. After all, he had the advantage of studying every single blindspot in every single room that Kinn entered. Kinn, on the other hand, had a reputation to uphold. An image of invulnerability that couldn't be tainted with losing his composure because of mundane things like, let's say, having his bodyguard's foot on his crotch during a security briefing.

But somewhere along the way Kinn had taken a different approach; had studied Porsche and found all the right buttons to press. Kinn started using his words. And Porsche, to his own horror, found that he liked them.

Or, Porsche fucks around (with Kinn) and finds out (more about himself than what he'd initially bargained for).

Notable Tags/Warnings: Mirror Sex, Praise Kink, Pet Names, Dirty Talk, Kink Discovery

Mahiwaga | Dragon!Porsche x King!Kinn | To be expanded

Adjective. mysterious, inexplicable, miraculous

Or: In which Porsche is a dragon deity and Kinn comes to him for help to save his kingdom.

(the future is) bulletproof | Dystopian AU KimChay

Kim had never really bought into the kool aid that his father seems to have successfully sold to everyone else in Oasis City. There had to be something in the barrenlands beyond the Mirage – otherwise, there wouldn’t be such strict laws on leaving the city borders. He sneaks out in search of the truth and finds so much more than he bargained for.

AKA son of a corrupt government official!Kim x youngest in a ragtag group of rebels!Chay, but in a post-apocalyptic setting

the oxygen of the soul | KinnPorsche & ChatKhem Reincarnation AU | To be expanded

"It feels like I can only be free if you're by my side."

A few more scattered posts in varying stages of completion:

Bodyswap!AU - To be expanded

(Single) Parenting 101 - To be expanded

Full Shift Werewolves AU

Hades AU

[uboat53]

Man, it is frustrating being a liberal and a Democrat these days. Not because of Republicans or independents, they're always out there, it's because I have to be on the same side as some of the stupidest people on the planet. At least, I hope they're stupid, because, if they're not, then they're lying about everything they claim to believe.

Over the last three and a half years, Biden has checked dozens of boxes that liberals have been trying to mark off the to-do list for decades. He passed a massive infrastructure bill, the first gun control law in 30 years, and a huge investment in combatting and preparing for climate change, but that's only the headline stuff. Under the hood he's done hundreds of other things as well; from canceling billions of dollars of student debt despite conservative courts fighting him every step of the way to joining unions on the picket line, negotiating on their behalf after the limelight has faded, and passing pro-union policies to reclassifying marijuana and pardoning those convicted for it to appointing dozens of women, minorities, and defense attorneys to the federal courts to restoring the rights of Native Americans to their historical lands to protecting the rights of LGBT+ people and hundreds of other small actions across the whole breadth and scope of the federal government.

What do other liberals and Democrats think about him after that? Well, they think he's a bland centrist who has betrayed their cause.

Inflation turned negative this last month and has generally returned to very low levels over the last year. Wages have continued to grow even as inflation has toned down and it looks like we're about to have the first "soft landing" in which we manage to tame inflation without suffering a recession since the mid-90s. Meanwhile, crime rates have crashed over the last two years and are now some of the lowest in history.

Are liberals and Democrats going to mention any of that? No, they're perfectly happy to let the conservative narrative of a devastated economy and crime-ridden country stand without comment.

Biden spent the last four years traveling the world, reassuring allies of our commitments and rebuilding cooperation among western nations and beyond to a degree that hasn't been seen in recent times. He deftly denied Russia their chosen narrative with regards to their invasion of Ukraine and coordinated a massive, multilateral effort to supply Ukraine and allow them to resist a nation many times larger. He's also quietly built up alliances in east and south Asia, allowing us to better limit Chinese expansionist influence in the region. Though constrained by a massively pro-Israeli Congress, Biden still leaned heavily on a bloodthirsty Netanyahu to limit the violence and protect Palestinians. His success has been limited, but he has successfully forced some cessation of hostilities and some provision of aid even while retaining the general support of the Israeli public.

What do other liberals and Democrats think of him after that? Well, he's apparently an imperialist who's bent on crushing freedom around the world and has murdered Palestinians with his bare hands.

Look, I get it, Biden isn't flashy and exciting, but the fact that he isn't flashy or exciting is exactly what's enabled him to do all the things he's done; things we claim to desperately want and support! He talks to people privately and persuasively, forming relationships with the key stakeholders on issues, he negotiates in private, building trust with the people he talks to that he won't stab them in the back by leaking damaging information, he presents himself as neutral and non-threatening to prevent a backlash from growing, and, finally, he allows the people he's negotiated with to take a lion's share of the credit in order to get things done.

If you're not a liberal or a Democrat, then fair enough, but if you are one then how can you not tell that this has been the most liberal, progressive, and overall successful presidency of most of our lifetimes? The only conclusion I can come to is that you don't actually care about any of the issues we all talk about, you just care about performances.

I believe in something. I believe that liberal ideas like universal health care, addressing climate change, promoting unions, promoting minority rights, and building infrastructure will make life better for all Americans (even the ones who oppose those things), I believe that international alliances between countries that accept liberal democratic ideals is essential for peace, prosperity, and freedom; not just for Americans, but for people all around the world, and I believe that we should enthusiastically support and champion anyone who can achieve those things.

Apparently that makes me unusual for a modern liberal Democrat and that makes me somewhat frustrated.

[seafoamreadings]

week of march 19, 2023

aries: don't panic but do brace yourself for some turbulence. it's an unavoidable part of life, right? so this week, aries season and the equinox kick things off followed by a new moon in your sign too. later on there is also significant chiron activity. but of course the real kicker for everyone is pluto changing signs. for you, this is in your 11th house and while it has global ramifications all over, it has particularly strong social consequences for you especially.

taurus: mere hours after the ingress of pluto into aquarius there is a taurus moon. so over the next couple *decades* (although you're a pro at taking things slow) you'll be working, like it or not, on career and legacy stuff. but just here at the beginning, you get a good start with that exalted moon. see if you can find a way to really make it count.

gemini: quicksilver mutable folks like you are going to, at least in some ways, love all the changes coming to pass around now. it started with saturn. this week has pluto into fellow airy aquarius, which actually will (mostly) be fruitful for you, and then mars out of your sign and into cancer at last! this is a really great time to make your education lead to tangible financial payoff.

cancerians: pluto in aquarius lasts years - decades - but starts this week in your 8th house. the lessons and, perhaps, demolitions involve debts and taxes as well as your intimate connections. closer to home, mars arrives in your sign after his recent seemly endless stay in gemini. stand up for yourself without sacrificing your principles.

leo: the start of aries season and an aries full moon are quite auspicious for you. at the same time, the arrival of pluto in your 7th house probably feels less fortunate. it will be there for a long time to come. it doesn't mean that relationship hardships will last the duration of the long transit but it does mean that weak structures and foundations are not going to survive.

virgo: don't freak out but pluto in aquarius can start out feeling like a sort of existential crisis. your routines will likely be upended, or if you are stubbornly holding on to them they *need* to be altered. let go or be dragged. a new era is on its way in.

libra: pluto into aquarius means big things for creativity and romance in your life over the next many years. perhaps even something about children (you're having them? you're *not* having them? you already have them and they do something crazy?) but it doesn't bring any end to your relationships as a whole. big aries season vibes incoming see to that.

scorpio: pluto is heading for your home life, the very foundataion of your chart (he is the god of tearing down foundations to rebuild new ones.) and mars is heading straight for your spiritual and academic sector. can you take a spiritually grounded approach to keeping your home base a sanctuary rather than allowing it to be reduced to rubble (metaphorically i hope...)?

sagittarius: the start of aries season along with a very fresh and fragrant aries new moon lights up your creative and romantic fires. at the same time you have an affinity with aquarius energy unlike anything most people can imagine. so pluto in aquarius? if you're reading this most likely you've already had him trample through your own sign early in your life. you know what he's capable of and how to respect his presence. he appreciates your candid nature. just don't talk too much trash.

capricorn: the equinox IS a big deal but you know what's an even bigger deal? pluto finally scoots himself off that last critical degree of your sign. he's been with you since 2008. it feels like he's been at 29 degrees for a hundred years. his movement into aquarius will most assuredly affect you materially and yet, pluto is also greatly associated with wealth. assuming you're still on his good side after all these years...

aquarius: hopefully you got any unplutonic behaviors under control before now. pluto is now your closest, er, friend. ideally you *do* make friends, because this is not an energy you want to fight against. you won't win. pluto does have many good qualities so really lean into those these next twenty-or-so years! embrace your inner persephone at this time. your pomegranate seeds are getting eaten one way or another. might as well have a good time.

pisces: more than perhaps any other sign, you can view the new pluto era as more of a background subconscious affair. there's little for you to *do* about it on a personal scale, although it will play out quite vividly societally. this week what you really feel is a vibrant, even lustful surge of new life, stirring with the equinox, especially if you are in the northern hemisphere getting the first vernal breath of spring. for everyone and especially you, it is a time of mini-reincarnation.

[asoiaf-essays-collector]

Baratheons to blame

You know what? When talking about the shit happened to Westeros people usually blame Ned Stark for his insane moral code and political incompetence, Lannisters for being, well, Lannisters, Robb Stark for his naivety, sometimes Sansa Stark for trusting Cersei.

And I've yet to see even one essay dedicated to Baratheons. One of them was butchering the whole country for a decade, others chose to be literal children effectively giving Westeros to Lannisters.

So let's talk about this.

Robert Baratheon.

Well, say it wasn't his mistake to become a king - Baratheons are related to Targaryens, he had people supporting him and loving him, he was known amongst little folks. Even without political intelligence he was a legit option and perhaps the only one that wouldn't raise any question or create an opposition immediately.

Let's say even marrying Cersei wasn't a political mistake at that time - new dynasty needed gold and supplies, winter was coming soon, and Robert needed all the Great Houses support he could get.

But after that? It's inexcusable.

Many words were written I won't repeat them. My biggest issues are - 6 millions debt, not listening to advisers or at least Jon Arryn and later Ned and giving Storm's End to Renly. How the hell the latter happened and what were the reasons - I still don't understand the mechanism.

But Robert didn't care, didn't listen, he created the state of Westeros that it is now, it's a simple constant and starting point of the series, let's move on.

Renly and Stannis Baratheon.

It was the simple equation. The easiest one.

Tywin Lannister had his 12 000 people in Harrenhal plus an abstract army that was still being gathering in Lannisport - so let's say there were 16 000 people total. 20 000 max.

King's Landing was unprotected af.

Robb was also against Lannisters with his 25 000 people or something around this (and he was also theoretically okay with Stannis as a king).

Stannis had his ships and war strategy skills (and dark magic, but no one knew yet).

Renly had more than 90 000 people.

The simplest solution should be to combine Baratheons, annihilate Lannisters and King's Landing and then discuss the terms of sovereignity or allegiances between themselves. They had no bad blood between them and Robb, just childish grudges amongst Renly and Stannis.

Maybe - even if they didn't agree they could just attack Lannisters from different frontlines and then fight amongst themselves - stupid but still reasonable.

You know - "let's deal with the biggest issue first" style.

But no.

Renly decided to become a king literally out of nowhere - he said so himself. Stannis instead of being smart about it held onto stupid grudges against literally everyone. Oh, his brother didn't love him enough, oh, Ned Stark saved his life just because Robert told him so, oh, Renly took his Storm's End, even the Seven did him wrong! Just put on some big boy pants, man!

I know that that's the whole point of their conflict - it's in Catelyn's chapters, but it just frustrates me af.

Robert was just a bad ruler - that happens, I'm sure there were lots of unfit rulers in Westerosi history.

Ned made a mistake of trusting people he shouldn't had - but he was also very new to all of this shit. Man tried to do something but then failed - that happens sometimes.

Robb basically also made a mistake of underestimating enemy's vile and Frey's disloyalty. Stupid, yes, but he also tried to do something while being inexperienced teenage boy.

Lannisters? Vile, atrocious and horrible people - politically smart and looking out for their family's best interests. Understandable.

Blaming a child - just ridiculous.

But these two? Both adults, having either military or state experience? Just doing fucking nothing because of stubbornness and absolutely childish grudges against each other? While knowing that this war was destroying the whole country? That people are being killed? That Lannisters are getting stronger, not weaker?

That's not even stupid, that's just inadequate.

Amongst all the horrors and injustice happening in Westeros Robert, Stannis and Renly are simply the worst

(well, after the mountain and boltons, but you get the point. stop blaming ned)

[tomorrowusa]

^^^ This is why people think things are getting worse. 1% of the US population owns 31.4% of the nation's wealth.

This is the result of massive tax breaks for the filthy rich which began under Republican Ronald Reagan in the early 1980s, were boosted twice by Republican George W. Bush in the 2000s, and got a big boost under Republican billionaire Donald Trump.

David Leonhardt at the New York Times writes...

The simplest explanation for the shift is that the old economic approach hasn’t worked very well for most Americans. Starting in the 1980s, the U.S. moved toward an economic policy that’s variously described as laissez-faire, neoliberal or market-friendly. It involved much lower taxes for the wealthy, less regulation of business, an expansion of global trade, a crackdown on labor unions and an acceptance of very large corporations. The people selling this policy — like Milton Friedman, a Nobel laureate in economics — promised that it would bring prosperity for all. It has not. Incomes for the bottom 90 percent of workers, as ranked by their earnings, have trailed economic growth, and wealth inequality has soared. For years, Americans have told pollsters that they were unhappy with the country’s direction. Perhaps most starkly, the U.S. now has the lowest life expectancy of any affluent country; in 1980, American life expectancy was typical. Conventional wisdom rarely changes quickly. Friedman and his fellow laissez-faire intellectuals spent decades on the fringes, before the 1970s oil crisis and other economic problems caused many Americans to embrace their approach. But conventional wisdom can change eventually. And after decades of unmet promises about the benefits of a neoliberal economy, more people have grown skeptical of it recently.

Massive tax breaks for the filthy rich as a means of boosting economic growth for all was once regarded as fringe economics – until Ronald Reagan took office. Even the man who became Reagan's vice president referred to such a policy in the 1980 primaries as "voodoo economics" – but to no avail. It has largely overshadowed economic policy for the past 40+ years.

There were only two exceptions. In 1993 when Democrat Bill Clinton raised taxes on the filthy rich. The economy soared and the 1990s became the most prosperous decade since the 1950s. And in 2013 Democrat Barack Obama let the Bush tax breaks expire. Sadly, Trump and the then GOP majorities on Capitol brought back the Bush tax breaks in 2017 and have been ironically blaming poor people for the subsequent rise in the national debt.

As president, Trump often contradicted his own populist rhetoric. (His one big piece of legislation was a tax cut that mostly benefited the rich.)

There needs to be a repeal of the Reagan-Bush-Trump tax giveaways to billionaires like Elon Musk.

One stat which Republicans don't like hearing is that in the mid 1950s, the highest federal income tax rate was 91%.

Republicans are nostalgic about some stuff about the 1950s like Jim Crow laws and suppression of women and gays. But they don't talk about the federal tax rate on the filthy rich which helped build the Interstate Highway System and provided low cost college education to the masses.

We don't need to go back to a rate of 91% for the Musks, Trumps, and Zuckerbergs. But just under half that rate would dramatically restore economic balance in this country. And the ONLY way to get there is to keep promoting growing Democratic majorities in Congress and electing Democratic presidents. Votes for third party losers are about as helpful as used toilet paper.

[mariacallous]

Many parts of former President Trump’s signature tax cuts will expire in 2025. This leaves limited time for policymakers to decide what to keep, what to let lapse, and how to deal with the other provisions of the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017 (TCJA). Whatever course of action they take will affect the federal deficit and how millions of households and businesses do their taxes.

To make those decisions, Congress needs to look past party lines and talking points to see the law’s actual impact. In a new paper, Jeff Hoopes (University of North Carolina), Kyle Pomerleau (American Enterprise Institute), and I did just that.

The TCJA introduced sweeping changes to individual and corporate taxation, cutting individual income tax rates, increasing the standard deduction and Child Tax Credit, slashing the corporate tax rate and the tax rate for certain unincorporated businesses, and other changes.

Here’s my take. Several effects of the law are clear. First, the good news. It simplified taxes for many households by reducing their dependence on itemized deductions and their use of the alternative minimum tax (AMT), although these gains were offset to some extent by more complicated taxes for businesses.

The bad news is that it was expensive: The TCJA will have raised federal deficits and debt by more than $2 trillion over its first 10 years according to the Congressional Budget Office. Forget the idea that the tax cut will pay for itself—that is nonsense.

More bad news: The TCJA exacerbated the already massive differences in the distribution of income. It made the rich richer and barely helped the poor. Urban-Brookings Tax Policy Center analysis shows that households in the lowest 20% of income distribution gained an average of about $60 per year. Annual tax cuts for the top 1% averaged over $50,000.

These are justifiable costs, say TCJA advocates, who believe the law spurred economic growth. But there does not appear to have been a growth effect. Patterns in aggregate economic data for 2018 and 2019 tell a fairly simple story: The basic underlying path of the economy—in terms of GDP, investment, and wages—was essentially unchanged after TCJA relative to before TCJA.

For example, a boom in investment never materialized. Investment was about the same share of GDP in 2019 as it was in 2015. Investment in intellectual property continued to grow at about the same rate that it had before the tax cut. Investment in equipment and structures, both of which received big tax cuts through the TCJA, essentially stagnated as a share of GDP.

U.S. investment performance compared to other countries was lackluster, too. Before TCJA, our investment-GDP ratio grew at the second fastest rate in the Group of Seven (G7). After TCJA? The fourth fastest. Lagging behind Europe is not the best look for the “biggest business tax cut in history.”

In particular, the historic cut in the corporate tax rate, down to 21% from 35%, was much less of an investment incentive than many TCJA advocates expected. The reduction mainly provides a windfall gain to investments made in the past—an inefficient way to stimulate new investment.

Hopefully in 2025, rather than continued partisan politicking, policymakers will seriously study the actual effects of TCJA policies when considering whether to extend them or let them lapse. Extending the expiring provisions would cost more than $4 trillion over the next decade according to CBO and would be extremely regressive. If the provisions expire, the economy is unlikely to fall into a tailspin. If TCJA provisions didn’t contribute to growth, their absence is unlikely to hurt growth, and it would help reduce the deficit and make the distribution of after-tax income more equal.

How to deal with TCJA is part of a larger discussion: How will the U.S. generate sufficient revenue to cover its expenses? Budgetary challenges are only getting worse, given slowly growing revenues and looming shortfalls in the Social Security and Medicare trust funds. If policymakers limit their debate in 2025 to the expiring TCJA provisions, they will miss a huge opportunity to reform the tax system and reduce fiscal deficits. Congress has many options, and many better ones, than simply extending TCJA.  

[all-the-things-2020]

A Year of Fandom Crossovers : January

Title: “I Need a Pilot”

Pedro Character: Frankie “Catfish” Morales

Fandom Crossover: Star Wars

Notes: This is the first entry in my Year of Fandom Crossovers! This one is a straight forward adventures placing Frankie in the Star Wars universe. I took some elements of the plot of Triple Frontier and dumped them onto a planet in a galaxy far, far away. There’s a little Stormpilot thrown in for good measure. Hope you enjoy! Thanks as always to @oonajaeadira for creating the @yearofcreation2023

“I need a pilot.”

Franki sighed. How many times had he heard that line? The young man in front of him seemed earnest and a bit naive, something not often seen in this backwater town. What the hell, he thought.

“How much and how far?”

The man blinked. “Um, I don’t have any credits on me, but …”

Franki shook his head. “I don’t fly for free. I got a kid.” He thought of the baby, just able to sit up on her own now.

“I can get the credits later,” the young man said. There was something urgent and strangely calming in his dark brown eyes. “This is important.” He looked around furtively, then lowered his voice. “I’m with the Resistance. Things went bad and … my pilot is out of commission. I need to get him off planet and to medical assistance right away.”

“I don’t fly off planet,” Franki said, taking a drink of his ale. “I’m a hopper pilot. Ferried troops and supplies for the Takaians during the civil war.” He took another long drink. The war had been his ticket out of this skughole town, or so he’d thought. Instead, it had just broken him and his friends and dumped them right back in Damphi.

“Thanks okay,” the young man said. “We just need to get to our rendezvous point and someone will pick us up. But we can’t get there without help.”

“And your friends can’t land here in Damphi because?”

“Because the place is crawling with First Order after we — I — messed up,” the man said miserably. “They’d shoot down anything that looks halfway Resistance. Which is why we need discreet transport. Hoppers are in and out of here all the time. Just … just fly us where we need to go and you’ll be rewarded. General Organa will pay you personally.”

Franki shook his head. “I don’t want to hear about generals or Resistance,” he hissed. “I don’t want to hear about you and your pilot. I got my own troubles.”

“Fifteen thousand,” the young man said. “I swear it. Just get us to the rendezvous.”

Fifteen thousand was a lot of money. Enough to pay off some debts, get back on somewhat solid footing, maybe even start up that little business his wife was always talking about. You’re gonna regret this, he told himself.

“Deal. Name’s Franki but my friends call me Catfish. Long story. Pleasure to do business with you.”

They shook hands. “Finn,” the young man said. “When can we leave?”

Franki shrugged. “Soon as I finish my ale, I guess.”

Finn beamed at him and Franki swallowed a grin. Kriffin’ idealistic kid. He has no idea what the real world is like. Hope the Resistance has more hardened soldiers than him or they’ve got no chance.

**************************************************************

When Finn and his pilot friend entered the hangar, Franki did a double take. He glanced around, expecting Benni and the others to jump out and start laughing. “If you’re messing with me …,” he said, trailing off as they got closer and he saw that the injured pilot was not his friend San-Ti. The resemblance was striking, though.

“I know I’m messed up right now, but I’m not that ugly, am I?,” the pilot croaked. He was clearly in pain but still able to joke.

“Just thought you were someone else for a moment,” Franki muttered. “Let’s get this over with. My hopper’s right over here.”

He led them to the battered vehicle, a decades out of date Model 7G planet-hopper. It wasn’t fancy, but it got the job done and M-98 kept it in working order. Mostly. When the droid wasn’t in the shop itself.

“The left rotor will need maintenance within the next one hundred hours of flight,” M-98 said morosely as they walked up the ramp. “And I’m keeping an eye on the second fuel injector.”

“That’s fine, Ninety-Eight,” Franki said. “This should be an easy trip. Out and back. Like shooting womp rats in a barrel.” He turned to his passengers. “I’ve got a co-pilot’s seat but not much else. Will your friend be okay here in the cargo area?”

“My name is Poe,” the injured pilot said. “And I’ll be fine anywhere, as long as you can get us to our rendezvous in time.” He winced and Finn immediately helped him to the floor.

“Take it easy, buddy,” Finn said gently. “We’ll get you in a bacta tank before you know it.” He looked up at Franki and his warm brown eyes belied his words. The kid was worried.

“Just give me a few minutes to warm up the engines and get the coordinates into the nav computer,” Franki said. “Then we’ll be off.”

“Six point five two minutes,” M-98 chimed in. “I told you that injector is acting up.”

**************************************************************

Flying in a hopper was nothing like flying in a spaceship. For one thing, it was noisier; Franki hadn’t been off world much but he found it eerily quiet when he did. He was used to the rattle of loose panels, the roar of the combustion engine, the thwup-thwup-thwup of the rotor blades. Hopper flying was also rougher than flying in space. Air turbulence combined with the idiosyncrasies of a machine that still had only half of its original parts meant that there was no such thing as flying straight between two points.

“It feels like this thing is falling apart!” Finn yelled. Franki had offered him the second set of headphones, so they could communicate easily, but he’d refused, insisting he wouldn’t be able to hear Poe if he needed anything.

“She’ll hold,” Franki shouted back. “Just sit down and relax.” He kept one eye on the horizon ahead and the other on the flickering blip on his nav screen.

Finn leaned forward, obscuring his view of the nav screen, and Franki fought the urge to shove the younger man out of the way. Be nice to the paying customer, he reminded himself.

“Forgive me, Catfish,” Finn said, “but aren’t we taking the long way around? We’re heading for Bezerr.”

“I know,” Franki said. “Can’t fly directly there because of the mountains. And this is a hopper. Got to refuel every couple of hours. Follow the supply stations.” He indicated the string of green dots their flight path connected.

“It’s just …” Finn shook his head and pulled the headset on. “Look,” he said, once he was on the comm link. “I don’t know if Poe has that much time. He’s getting weaker.” The concern in the young man’s eyes tugged at Franki’s heart. He knew what it was like to lose a comrade in arms. Especially because of a mission gone off the rails.

“Can’t do it,” Franki said. “This route is as fast as I can go.”

“I’ll double your fee,” Finn said. “Triple it, whatever. Just get us to Bezerr before he … look, you said you have a kid, right? So you have a spouse.” Franki nodded. “So you know how I feel. What if your wife — what if that was her back there and it was your fault she was hurt and …”

“I feel for you, kid, but it’s not doable. We’d have to fly over the kriffin’ Pyrshis! Tallest mountain range on the planet. This bucket of bolts isn’t built for those altitudes.”

“Please,” Finn pleaded. “I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose him.”

Franki sighed. He always was a sucker for big, brown eyes. “Okay, we’ll refuel at Brosia Station. I gotta do some calculations before we attempt it anyway. Better to do them on solid ground.”

“Thank you!” Finn said.

“Triple the fee,” Franki said as he adjusted the nav coordinates to take them to Brosia. You’re really going to regret this, Catfish.

***************************************************************************

“Are you certain?” Franki asked Ninety-Eight.

“Ninety-seven point nine five three percent certain,” the droid replied.

“Not good enough,” Franki said, banging his fist on the console. “We need to get this as close to perfect as possible.”

“I’m sorry, Catfish, but there are too many variables to reach a higher percentage of certainty. Nine seven point nine five three is the best I can do.”

“Almost ninety-eight percent sounds pretty good to me,” Finn chimed in.

Franki shook his head. “Look, kid, we’re not just going across the mountains, we’re going over them. That shortens our range considerably. These hoppers are built to cover distance, not fly high. We get up there where the atmosphere thins out and the engine can’t handle it if we have too heavy a load. So we have to make sure our tanks are empty enough to get enough lift to get over the peaks, but full enough that we have enough juice to get to Bezerr. Plus the rotors aren’t built for thin air, and this thing isn’t pressurized. We get over four and a half clicks and we’re going to start feeling the lack of oxygen. We hit five and a half, we’re getting light headed. Same with the engine. Can’t burn fuel as well when there’s less oxygen. This has to be as near perfect as we can get it or we crash up there.”

He pointed out the pitted windscreen at the soaring crags of the Pyrshi mountains. There was always ice and snow up there. The tallest peak topped out at close to six clicks high. Nothing lived up there except snow fleas and snow spiders and the occasional lost bird.

“If we don’t go soon, Poe will die,” Finn said. “One hundred percent certainty. So I say ninety-eight percent sounds good enough.”

“You’re paying,” Franki said. “Ninety-Eight, double check the tank before we take off.”

“Roger that,” the droid said. “And it might be a good idea to offer up an entreaty to any deities you gentlemen may be particularly fond of, just in case.”

“I’m going to let San-Ti’s cousin remove your humor module if you keep this up,” Franki grumbled. “Don’t know why I let you talk me into installing one in the first place.”

**************************************

The engines were straining. Franki could hear it and, more importantly, feel it. They were slowly climbing the crest of the mountains, aiming for a saddle that was only about twice the width of the hopper, but the lowest point where they could cross over and begin the descent toward Bezerr.

“How’s our fuel?”

Ninety-Eight hesitated a fraction of a second. “Close,” the droid said.

“What the kriff does ‘close’ mean? Close to empty? Close to what you calculated?”

“The fuel level is approximately what I calculated we would need to accomplish the crossing,” Ninety-Eight said primly. “A few milliliters short but close enough.”

Franki shook his head. He hated when the droid was vague with him. It meant things were not good. “How about the rotors?”

“Left rotor is showing signs of wear, as noted previously,” Ninety-Eight said. “Still within safety parameters, though.”

Which means it’s ready to break, Franki translated. He wasn’t even going to ask about the injectors.

“We’re almost there,” he heard Finn say. The young man was in the back with his friend, who was looking much paler than when they’d arrived. Franki was fairly certain the man was bleeding internally; he needed a bacta tank and a good surgeon as soon as possible.

Franki steadied the hopper as they neared the saddle. The winds were tricky around the glacier carved peaks and he fought the stick to keep her steady. “Almost there,” he said to himself. “Just hold together, baby, you can do it.”

They slowly rose above the level of the saddle and Franki could see the rolling plains beyond the steep escarpment of the mountains. As the hopper crept through the pass, a gust of wind slammed down from the cirque above. The left rotor cracked and broke into several pieces. At the same time, the engine coughed and sputtered, then went silent. The hopper tilted swiftly to the right.

“Brace yourselves!” Franki yelled. “We’re going down!”

He controlled the fall as best he could. It was nearly impossible to glide in a hopper, so he couldn’t guide it much, but he kept the nose up so at least when they crashed, they wouldn’t go down face first. A boulder caught the side rails and flipped the hopper sideways before it slammed to the ground, the right rotor still valiantly trying to spin even as it crumpled against granite.

**************************************************

Franki wiped the blood out of his eyes and took off his headset. He’d cracked his forehead against something, but it didn’t appear to be life threatening. “Finn!,” he called. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Finn said. He appeared battered but mostly intact.

“How about your friend?”

“Not great, but he’s still with us,” Finn said.

“And I am still functional, if anyone cares,” Ninety-Eight chimed in.

“Good,” Franki said. “Because I need you to assess the damage and see what we can salvage. We can’t get airborne but at least it’s all downhill from here. Maybe we can rig up some sort of conveyance to get us down.” He could feel the thinness of the air in his lungs. “It’ll take us too long to walk or climb.”

While Ninety-Eight surveyed the wreckage, Franki dug out the first aid kit and cleaned himself up. He had a cut on his forehead and a few slivers of glass in his arm, but otherwise he was just bruised up.

“So, we’re alive and we have a droid,” he said, after handing the kit to Finn. “No broken limbs, but we have one non ambulatory person to deal with. We’ll need some sort of litter to carry him on. And it’s going to get cold real fast up here. If we can’t get moving soon, we’ll need a fire or something else to keep warm.” His emergency survival training was coming back to him in bits and pieces. During the war, he’d mostly dealt with the aftermath of these things, swooping in to extract soldiers from tricky situations. This was the first time he’d been on the bad end of the deal.

********************************************************

Ninety-Eight cobbled together a small wagon out of the wreckage, as well as a rudimentary pulley system that could be used to lower it down the sheerest slopes if need be. “I can pull the wagon with all three of you humans in it,” the droid said. “It will be a bumpy ride but faster than your own feet.”

They settled Poe into the center of the wagon. Franki let Finn sit near Poe’s head, while he wedged himself into the back of the wagon. It was a tight fit, but at least they wouldn’t rattle around this way. Ninety-Eight set off at a steady but sensible pace, traversing the rocky ground as smoothly as it could.

Franki was uncomfortable, but not because of the cramped conditions. It was the quiet murmur of conversation between Finn and Poe that he couldn’t help but overhear. It was very clear that the two men were more than just friends and comrades in arms. Franki wasn’t a demonstrative person; public displays of affection made him squirm. He pulled his cap further down over his eyes, which made him wince as the brim scraped over the fresh cut, and feigned sleep, trying to give the two as much privacy as possible. Which wasn’t much, considering that Poe’s feet were basically in his lap.

“If I don’t make it,” Poe said at one point.

“You’re gonna make it,” Finn said.

“I know, but just in case … tell Rey to take care of Bee-Bee for me, okay?”

“Oh, so I don’t get custody of the kid?”

“You’re a mediocre pilot, babe. He’s an astromech droid. She can give him adventures.”

“I’m a good pilot. I just look like bantha poodoo next to you and Rey.”

“You keep telling yourself that, buddy.”

Franki suppressed a chuckle. Like an old married couple, he thought. But that made him think of his wife and baby waiting at home and the amusement faded away.

*************************************************

It took the better part of a day to reach the plains, but it would have taken them much, much longer on foot. Franki’s forehead had crusted over and itched like hell, he had a pounding headache and his left leg was asleep from being folded underneath him for so long, but otherwise he was in good shape. The same could not be said for Poe; the man had drifted into unconsciousness halfway down the mountainside.

Finn had a handheld comm link and kept trying to contact their ship, but the steep canyon walls were not conducive to radio frequencies. Once they were on the flat, he tried it again and finally received a response.

“Yeah, we’re near the foot of the mountains,” he yelled — the connection was staticky and intermittent — “about three clicks south of the river. Can you get a fix? Yeah? Okay, we’ll stand by.” He thumbed off the comm. “They’re coming to get us,” he said. “It won’t be long.” He smoothed the hair off Poe’s forehead, where it clung in damp curls.

“I’m not sure how much of the fee they’ll have on hand,” he said to Franki. “But I promise I’ll get the rest to you as soon as I can. There’s a bank in Damphi, right?”

“Yeah,” Franki said. “I’ve got an account.” Not much in it, but I’ve got an account.

“Will you be able to get back okay? Without the hopper?”

“I’ll hitch a ride with one of the other hopper pilots. You just worry about him.”

Soon, a nondescript transport descended from the sky, landing a few hundred meters away. A Twi’lek and a human hurried out with a floating stretcher and whisked Poe inside, a med droid hovering along beside them. “Wait here,” Finn said. “I’ll get your money.”

Franki stretched as he waited, idly watching Ninety-Eight tighten the bolts on the wagon. “It’ll be worth more than the scrap value if I spruce it up a bit,” the droid said.

Finn emerged from the transport with a pouch in his hand. “It’s only six thousand,” he said. “That’s all we have aboard. But I swear you’ll get the rest. Triple the original fee. Forty-five thousand.”

Franki took the pouch, weighing it in his hand. New Republic credits by the feel of it, maybe a few other currencies mixed in. Odds were this was all he was going to get from this disaster of a job, but he’d take it. “Take care of your friend,” he said. “And good luck with the resistance thing.”

Finn looked him in the eyes. “Thank you, Catfish. May the Force be with you.” He pulled Franki into a quick, fierce hug and then ran back to the transport, which lifted off a few minutes later.

“A new hopper will cost at least thirty-seven thousand,” Ninety-Eight said flatly.

“I know,” Franki said.

“If he comes through, you’ll be okay.”

“I know.”

“If he doesn’t, you’re kriffed.”

Franki glared at the droid. “Do you want me to have your personality removed?” He climbed back into the wagon. “Let’s go. If we get into town before nightfall, maybe I can catch a flight out and won’t have to waste money on a room.”

*****************************************

Damphi looked almost pretty in the morning light. Franki had caught a ride with Starsi, who was a good pilot but could talk the hind leg off a rancor. They had flown through the night, stopping twice to drop off cargo at poorly lit depots in the middle of nowhere. No wonder he’s flying at night, Franki thought. Still, it was a ride, and Starsi didn’t even charge him anything, simply glad for the company.

They’d sold the wagon to a scrap dealer near the landing strip. Ninety-Eight was still sulking because it thought its creation was worth more, but Franki had wanted to get out quickly. With six thousand, three hundred and ninety credits in his pocket — and no hopper — he was a lot further in the hole than he’d been a few days ago, but there was lots of work in Damphi, even if it wasn’t as fulfilling as flying a hopper. They’d be okay.

When they got home, Ninety-Eight went straight to its charging station. Franki tiptoed into the bedroom but it was empty. A note was on the table beside the bed. “Got an early shift at the factory, thanks to Emmi. Dropped the baby off with my mother. See you when I get off.”

At least I get a little break before I have to explain my latest screw-up, Franki thought as he collapsed into bed.

After a few hours sleep, he found some food and headed for the bank. Might as well pay a few bills off. At the teller window, he emptied the credits out of the pouch. “Deposit this into my account,” he said. “And then tell me the balance.”

The teller punched a few keys and printed out a slip. As she slid it across the counter, Franki shook his head. “This must be a mistake. I only deposited sixty-three ninety. This says seventy thousand.”

The teller consulted her terminal screen. “It’s correct. Although only the sixty-three ninety is available immediately. The rest is from two off-planet deposits that came in a few hours ago. That won’t be available until we get the ping back from the bank on Coruscant. Give it a day or two.” She swiveled the screen so he could see.

39,000: Balance of payment for services rendered.

30,000: For damages to equipment incurred during employment

Both deposits came from a bank on Coruscant. Guess the kid wasn’t lying about his connections, Franki thought.

“Thank you,” he told the teller. “I’ll be back in a couple of days to make some withdrawals.” He turned the numbers over in his head as he left the bank. Seventy-five thousand would allow him to buy a new hopper, pay off all the debts, and still have a little left over. A fresh start.

As he made his way home, San-Ti rushed up. “Hey, man, you would not believe the night I had!” He flung his arm around Franki’s shoulders. “Some kriffing Imperial wannabe thought I was someone else and tossed me in lockup! Then they threw in a drunken Wookiee and we all spent the next few hours trying not to get our arms ripped off. Finally they ran a genetic scan and realized I wasn’t the guy they were looking for and the one who brought me in got reamed out by his superior. It was hilarious! Except for the drunken Wookiee part. So, anything new with you?”

Franki laughed. “You have no idea, my friend. You have no idea.”

[intergaylactix]

Hi all! I’ve put off making a post about this but I could really use your help!

As many of you know, last September I started on a journey toward getting a surgery that will greatly improve my quality of life. I have dealt with chronic pain in my face for over a decade now, and over the past few years, it has gotten worse. I teach full time (with a part time tutoring job on top of that) and therefore am constantly talking. I knew the cost going into this and was ready to take it on.

Since that time, the state of Florida has passed many laws criminalizing being queer as well as criminalizing teachers, and I no longer feel safe where I live or where I work. I am planning to move out of Florida in summer of 2024. However, I am struggling to save for this move because of these high medical costs. As of today, I currently owe $8844 still ($5000 for surgery, $3844 for ortho). If I quit my pre-surgical orthodontics now, I will have to start all over with a new surgical team and will remain in debilitating pain.

I’m doing what I can to throw money at this debt as quickly as I can- I’m currently working 12 hours a day between two jobs, have signed up for additional gig/short term work, etc.

Anything helps!

paypal.me/kiicash

venmo: @kiicash

cashapp: $kcas98

[author-a-holmes]

trick or treat!! 🎃

🍬 Treat!

Let me tell you a little bit about a new character in Darkling, Connorbar Moore.

Lizzy and Booker find out a little about Moore at the end of Changeling, of course. That he's a legendary kavian hunter who disappeared from the public eye almost two decades ago.

What they don't know yet is the why.

Connorbar was a prominent member of the European Vampire Council, and a firm advocate for the reintegration of communication between the vampires and the fey lands, Arbaon.

But once lines of communication began to open, many of his peers argued that since the fey had 'abandoned' the mortal realm, they had no rights to return to it without paying some kind of debt.

Connor, on the other hand, was of the opinion that because it was kavians, insane vampires, that had driven the fey away, it was the vampires that owed a debt to the fey instead.

Negotiations over who exactly owed what to who were still ongoing when Connorbar stepped away from the debates, installed a proxy in his place, and vanished from the public eye for almost twenty years.

Since then, the talks have become stagnant, and very little progress has been made between Arbaon and the Vampire Councils negotiations.

[nopointic]

it hurts my heart reading all the spoilers from the new BTS book not because they're spoilers, but because of how much sadness the guys went through. i met them in 2020. they could have ended in 2018 or 2019.

if it wasn't for BTS i would be in such a bad place right now.

because of them, specially Namjoon saying "your anger is valid", i left a job i thought i wanted my whole life. i went to this short school to be a medical assistant to work my way up the medical field because i've always wanted to be a doctor as a kid. well i got the cma job and it was awful. my first job at a hospital was bad, so i thought being at a doctor's office would be better. my boss was a raging racist who treated he staff of black workers like shit.

i was listening to Love by Namjoon everyday just letting the vibes heal me. i was so happy getting off work to listen to that particular song. i started to learn korean. i actually googled it and came across this huge youtuber who learned korean on her own and now lives in south korea. she talked about language school and a light bulb went off in my head. i was like, that's an option? this can be more than a hobby of mine to destress? because i love learning and i love learning how to communicate with others.

i quit my medical assistant job and gave up on being a doctor. after nearly over 2 decades of wanting it so bad. i kept getting blocked from it. and today i realized why. because it wasn't meant for me.

i finally understand the phrase "god (higher power of any sort) closes a door to protect you"

i could be tens of thousands of dollars in debt right now if i went to school to be a doctor. hundreds of thousands of dollars in fact. i'm not. i'm debt free at 31. not a lot of 90s babies can say that. and that makes me feel so lucky and grateful.

i suffer severe depression. i thought not getting to go to college was the worst thing that ever happened to me. turns out it was a blessing in disguise.

i now have new goals that make my heart actually happier. all thanks to BTS. to Namjoon's wordplay in Love. his vlog to ARMY about how our feelings and anger matter.

i'm so incredibly grateful for BTS being in my life. they helped me come to terms with the military trauma i suffered being in the usa air force as a teenager. i was just burying it and seeing them have to enlist gave me the courage to process my grief of being 19 and starting my hellish process of getting enlisted.

on good days or reflective days i do think everything happens for a reason. i mean, during my gratitude journaling i smile to myself thinking, all this pain in my life, all that grief, led me to 7 men in BTS and they make me so happy.

i took my first solo vacation to see Yoongi in concert at 31! the most ghetto stadium i s2g on the whole tour list, but i got to go! and i saw Jimin too! like i'm so incredibly proud of myself for traveling from georgia to new jersey by myself. i didn't think i could do it and i did!

i just wish them all the happiness and comfort in the world. they have given me so much! so much! i am forever thankful they stayed together and stayed in this music industry because i got to meet them.

and it's so wild because a lot of our last 10 years crossed at so many points and i'm like, wow, is this fate? was all this meant to be? it's weird sometimes looking back on this last decade. like i have minor ocd, and i avoided purple like the plague. and now? i have purple everything! purple and pink! i'm like, this is huge for me ok. they have just helped me so much.

i love them and i wish them all the love in the world. thank you BTS for making my life so much more filling. y'all gave me a new reason to live. i'm forever thankful.

borahae!