#+i usually shower at like 3 am when my mom is of course sleeping and it’s an en-suite so like. man. i have to shower before bed but i can’t

[macroglossus]

made my brother who i have to share a bathroom with clean it for the first time in literal months and he broke the shower enough that we’ll have to use my parents for months. awesome job man

[thecapricunt1616]

Damiana (c.b. oneshot)

𝓢𝓷𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓽 (𝓶𝓸𝓻���� 𝓑𝓣𝓒): “No. Just stay right like this. I can play with you, right?” He kissed your jaw gently, nipping at the sensitive part near your ear and soothing the sting with his tongue in a way that made you whine. “Yes. But I wanna feel good too” you said, voice needy already. It was quite embarrassing the effect he so easily had on you, he barely even had to try.  “Oh of course princess, y’think I’d neglect my favorite toy? When have I ever left you without makin’ sure y’feel good mm?” He kissed the base your neck right at the top of your spine, spreading your thighs with his knee, your bodies flush together. 

♡ O/S Inspo: Damiana (otherwise known as loveseed) is used to increase the intensity of sexual magick, increase magical energy, divination, dreams/clairvoyance, enhance pleasure and increase psychic abilities.

♡ Summary: You & Carmy wake up extra early on your day off for some reason, so he knows a good way to put you both back to sleep.

♡ W/C: 1,737

♡ Posted Date: 04/18/2024

♡ A/N: OMG Thank you all for 100 followers what the actual heck!!! I want to give each and every one of you a forehead smoochin, thank you so much for hanging out with me and supporting my work! As per usual my requests are alwayyys open! For Carmy x Reader & Carmy x Sydney I woke up today at the asscrack of dawn for no reason at all, and was hit with a strike of writing lightning!! Just in time for my 100 follower celebration :D!!! I hope you enjoy this smutty smutty goodness. Sidenote - Taylor is releasing an album tomorrow so I am bouncing off the walls of my iron cage and gnawing at the bars I'M SO READY!!!! ANYWAYS enjoy my friends <3

♡ Warnings for BTC: Unedited (we die like men!!!)  Breeding kink, swearing, smut smut smut, fluffy needy Carmy, established relationship NO USE OF Y/N

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡

Early mornings with Carmy were your favorite. Well - the early mornings that he wasn’t jumping in the shower even before the sun had kissed the horizon. But these mornings. 

You woke up this morning at 4:52 - it was Sunday, your favorite day. Carmy & your day. The Bear was closed, the single day a week that it was - so it meant your loving, wonderful husband could stay in bed with you until 3 if he wanted.  

He’d told you many times before if you woke before him for some reason on your sacred together day, to wake him because he didn’t want to spend a moment without you - but for now, you watch. 

It wasn’t often you saw your beloved man like this, fully at peace. Well, other then when he fucked you - but while awake he never fully looked this peaceful. 

You carefully brushed his messy curls off of his forehead, dragging your nails across his scalp gently. You just couldn’t help it, you knew how much he loved it. 

‘Mmm?’ He grumbled, his voice thick and low, husky with sleep. 

“Sorry” you whispered, smiling a bit. You couldn’t help but think of a grizzly bear when he’d make noises like that. While he was in this half asleep - half awake state, he would grunt and huff and grumble, especially on Sundays. 

Just like any other day, his internal clock was on time - and today - he has 0 alarms set. 

“No ‘s fine been up” he said softly. 

You kissed his forehead tenderly, the faintest bit of mint sticking to his breath from last night when he brushed his teeth before practically crawling to bed since he was so exhausted. 

“Bear- it’s Sunday- go to sleep” you said, gently rubbing over his bare chest with your soft palm. 

“Damn birds” he grumbled, causing you to giggle. 

“Y’know it’s the boys, actually? Because the uh…the moms. They go out before the sun, to find breakfast. And the dads are - well. Scientists theorize - that the dads are calling the moms back to the nest, like an alarm the kids are up and hungry” you said softly. 

He hums in interest, rolling on his side with his eyes still closed and gently kissing down your neck as you spoke 

“All I heard was a really good reason we don’t have kids yet” he said, voice deep and thick with sleep. 

“Yeah yeah ok Mr ‘im gonna make you a mom’ “ you imitated his horny raspy voice and he chuckled, snaking his hand under your shirt and rubbing over your stomach gently 

“I am as soon as you take this fuckin thing outta y’r arm” he gently bites down on the inside of your bicep where your implant was, sucking gently, causing you to laugh. 

“I swear to god - your hormones Carm, it's like you’re ovulating or something” you teased and he snorts a laugh into your skin 

“Not my fault you make me horny in the morning” he reached up, palming your breast and squeezing gently 

“You were horny before you woke up fucker, I feel you” you teased, wiggling into his bulge that was pressing into your ass firmly. 

He moaned softly, rolling his hips into yours “Y’gonna help me out or do I have to go shower?” He teased with a grin. 

You roll your eyes playfully “gonna make me work before the sun is even fully in the sky?” You asked and he chuckled a bit 

“No. Just stay right like this. I can play with you, right?” He kissed your jaw gently, nipping at the sensitive part near your ear and soothing the sting with his tongue in a way that made you whine. 

“Yes. But I wanna feel good too” you said, voice needy already. It was quite embarrassing the effect he so easily had on you, he barely even had to try. 

“Oh of course princess, y’think I’d neglect my favorite toy? When have I ever left you without makin’ sure y’feel good mm?” He kissed the base your neck right at the top of your spine, spreading your thighs with his knee, your bodies flush together. 

“Well there was that one time-“ you teased as he pulled his cock out 

“Oh the one time I punished you f’r bein’ a brat.” He squeezed your hip and trailed his hand around your stomach, rubbing gently before dipping his fingers in your panties, finding your clit and humming in satisfaction when you whine hotly, arching into his frame further. 

“Cause you were wearing those slutty gray sweatpants and every bitch in the grocery store was staring at your dick print” you counter, causing him to chuckle, the vibration coursing through you since you were flush to him like one being.

“mmmm and is that why you’re so wet, cause you’re thinkin’ about me wearing something slutty?” He teased rubbing slow firm circles in the way that made you writhe and squirm. 

“Stop teasing before you nut all over my back” you smirk and he gasps, feigning offense. 

“Someone is mouthy this morning” he moved the fabric to the left, rubbing his thick cock over your folds easily with your slick aiding him, moaning softly. 

“Mmmm thank you” you rest your head back on his shoulder, eyes fluttering shut. “Feels soooo nice.” You mumble as he slowly rolls his hips, the head of his cock teasing your clit just enough. 

It wasn’t a full rub, not enough to make you cum for a while, but more a pleasant gentle massage. You felt his hand back on your stomach, rubbing short strokes up and down as he pants, in pure quiet bliss. That was something you adored about him-  whenever you were in public, he was shy, quiet. So quiet. But when you were alone together- the man didn’t have an off switch. 

Neither did you, but yours didn’t shut off in public, either. You did enough talking for the both of you, it was what drew him to you. The only time you made him more quiet, was when he was playing with you this way in the morning. You were pretty sure it was the time, his brain hadn’t fully woken yet - but he had one thought bouncing around like a DVD video logo his cock was achingly hard. 

“I’m probably gonna fall asleep but you’ll wake me right?” You asked and all you got in response was a breathy ‘mmhmm’ 

He gently bit down on your neck, then your shoulder, then your arm, causing you to giggle and look back at him as well as you could “you wanna suck on it. Don’t you.” You teased, referring to your implant. 

Another whiny ‘mmhmm’ and he rolls his hips a bit harder, causing you to moan as his tip ruts over your clit firmer 

“So sweet.” You smiled lazily, closing your eyes once more and humming “I love this Bear y’make me feel so good” you said softly and he whimpers 

“Fuckin’ hell y’too sweet. Lettin’ me play with you like this sweetheart, the sweetest girl” he praises, pushing the hair from your messy sleep off your forehead and kissing your temple. 

“Cus’ y’the best husband” you laced your fingers together and held your hands over your stomach. 

“Mmmm y’know I fuckin love hearin’ y’say that, right?” He rasps, hips getting sloppier and rougher as he got closer to his high. 

“I do every time I say my husband on the phone you blush. It's the cutest thing that you’re still feelin’ like we’re on our honeymoon 2 whole years later” you kissed his hand sweetly. 

“Cause I’m so fuckin’ lucky. Can’t fuckin’ believe y’agreed to take my last name babe. The way you say our last name is so fuckin pretty” he said, kissing your shoulder gently

“I feel so fancy with it. Mrs.Berzatto. Berzatto is so much cooler then my maiden name.” you said 

“Fuckin hell sweetheart im so close can I please cum in you?” He begged, his voice needy and wanting

“Of course Bear Y’don’t need to ask” you said and he released your hand, placing his palm at the base of your abdomen and slipping in, filling you to the hilt. 

You whimper, back arching slightly “mmm feel’so full” you mutter, gasping as he started a quick snap of his hips, jaw falling slack. 

“It’s so fuckin hot that I can feel myself fuck you” he pressed his palm firmer into your abdomen, angling himself in a way to both feel himself better, but also slide perfectly against your gspot 

“Yeah y’get so deep bear. Y’gonna fill me up? Y’gonna knock me up? Mmm?” You whine, your own orgasm approaching fast 

“Fuck yeah I am princess sh-iiit. Fuck gonna make y’a fuckin mom” he grunts, spreading your legs further and reaching down to rub your clit making you clench around him. 

He whimpers hips stuttering as he ruts into you, completely bottoming out trying to get as deep as he can as he empty’s his huge load into you, breathing hard and remaining still inside of you while he rubs your clit in quicker circles. 

He could tell you were on the edge because of the way you were clenching and unclenching around his now overstimulated cock, he wanted to get you there so he could remain inside of you for a while. 

“That’s it, my good girl. Thank you Angel, you took me so well. Y’can always handle whatever I give you it’s so fuckin hot.  Now I’m gonna make sure y’re all taken care of, mmm? Just like I promised” he said softly into the shell of your ear before kissing your head gently. 

“I’m cumming. I’m fucking cumming - oh- fuck-“ you whine, thighs shaking as some of your mixed arousal drips down his balls to his thigh. 

“Gooood. Tha’s it, good girl” he praised, slowing his fingers to a slow rub as he worked you down. 

“Mmm that was so nice Carmy” you hummed, looking back and kissing his lips lovingly. 

“So nice princess. Thank y’for letting me” he kissed the tip of your nose gently “can I stay in a little longer” he kissed your jaw gently 

“Course- I was actually gonna ask you to. I like falling asleep like this” you laced your fingers together holding your interlocked hands over your belly.  “Y’so fuckin perfect” he mumbled into the skin of your neck.

[being-addie]

Sunday Resets

Setting aside time for yourself is so important. I don't think people understand how vital it is to pay attention to your body and just take a day to let your body r-e-l-a-x. We're all so busy fighting to reach the top, that while climbing the corporate ladder, we lose ourselves somewhere along the way. Burnout, depression, and monotony come into play when we don't listen to our bodies telling us they need a break.

Once every two weeks or so, on a Sunday, I turn off all my notifications and have a day dedicated to me. Giving my body some TLC, resting and preparing for the next week. If I have plans on a Sunday, such as brunch or a meeting, I shift that day to Saturday, or at the very least, a day where I have at least 4-5 hours to spend leisurely.

Things I like to do on my Sunday resets:

Wake up early/sleep in: Depending on my mood, and how much sleep I've had during the week, I'll either be up at the crack of dawn or still in bed till it's nearly noon. There's no shame in staying in bed till 11:30 if you're particularly exhausted, but I recommend waking up at least before 11 AM because then you'll feel tired and groggy (of course, this doesn't apply to everyone)

Clean my room: I always make my bed without fail, and if my room is messy, then I'll clean it. Clean the vanity table, my desk, closet, art cupboard and bookshelf, and then the bathroom. If my mom needs help around the house, I do that too.

Food: I make myself a good breakfast, taking time to move around the kitchen and just breathe. I'm getting to eat good food, the sun is shining and I'm alive. It's great. Sometimes my dad cooks for the whole family and we just sit and eat together.

The Everything Shower: I take my Everything Shower on Sundays, where I wash my hair, deep condition, use a hair and face mask, exfoliate and do a face massage. I don't shave because I get my waxing done in a salon. I then slather myself in cocoa butter lotion and apply lip balm. Then do my hair routine (curly hair). It takes a few hours, but it's worth it.

The Next Week: I prep for the next week by cooking something I can take to my classes, like granola bars or homemade pita chips. I also sit down and plan my schedule (any dinners, meetings, parties, etc) and make a rough plan of my goals for the week, like assignments and deadlines.

Errands: I usually make a list of things I need to do during the week, like any specific separate groceries that I use, art supplies I'm low on, or needing to top up the air in my tyres. Then I go complete all of those in the afternoon.

Walks: In the evening, I take a walk around the block with a friend. I usually am too busy to do this during the week, so getting some fresh air is always a treat.

Relax: The rest of the evening is spent relaxing. I watch Netflix with my family, chat with my younger sister, read a novel/play the piano/write poetry. We have dinner together and then either watch a movie or just spend the time talking about our week, or the news. It's fun.

Double-check: Before I go to sleep, I make sure to double-check that my work is done, my bag is packed, clothes are folded and all my devices are charged. I'm in bed by 10:30 PM.

Remember that not all Sundays will be like this. Sometimes I'm extremely drained, so I'll sleep in, order food and just lay in bed recuperating. It's okay to take a rest day. This guide is if you want to be more productive, and it helps the week go smoother. Be the person who has their life in charge. You've got this.

<3

[romanticintheory]

Okay but could u write something fluffy with soap. Tbh I feel like he'd be the best friend to lovers kinda thing.

AND YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT i love friends to lovers so much guys u don't understand :(

also, i realize now that this isn't super fluff-heavy!! apologies </3 i got carried away.

johnny "soap" mactavish x gn!reader

warnings: horrid scottish slang from a non-scot (i am sincerely sorry), my writing from 2 am on three hours of sleep (also sincerely sorry)

-

-best friend to lovers with soap except there wasn't really a specific moment you two become each other's. it just... kind of happened.

-growing up with him and supporting his dreams to be a soldier while he supported yours. the first time he came back from a mission, you were the first person he wanted to see once he was allowed back home.

-you used to fuss over any injuries he got from being himself as a little kid, and the worry only heightened when he'd come back from missions with real wounds.

-his mom would always have a cheeky smile seeing you two together. she never said it, but it was always hinted in the way she acted. she was always talking to johnny about how you were such an impressive and loyal young person, often doting on you and insisting you stay for dinner (which, of course, you couldn't refuse).

-the first time johnny started dating someone, it was hard for you to deal with, but it got easier the more it happened.

-what you didn't know was johnny would take it even worse whenever you told him you started dating someone. he'd act all proud and protective in a brotherly fashion, but behind closed doors he was scowling to himself without knowing why.

-one day, you're visiting him in his apartment after he had been away for a few months. you're strangely more subdued than usual, and of course he notices.

-"hey," he calls to you softly, a strange contrast to his usual loud self. "what's wrong?"

-"nothing, don't worry about it," you reassure him, fiddling with the little plushie he got you from his travels--one of the many trinkets he's gotten for you. he always says it's to make up for the fact that he won't be there to bother you in person, but it's actually because every precious little thing he sees reminds him of you.

-"ah ken you're lying," he tells you in a warning tone.

-"i got broken up with, is all," you admit, turning your head away from him.

-"what?" he booms incredulously. how could anyone leave you? "is he insane? after getting an apartment together?"

-"there was this girl from his work and, well, i don't know," you shrugged, fighting back the tears you thought had dried days ago. "he wants the apartment. i mean, he did pay for more of it so-"

-"come live with me."

-it was your turn to be in disbelief, turning your head to face him with a confused look on your face.

-"what?"

-"th' place is empty with me at work. no rent, 's away from yer stupid ex, and ye get to be around me," he added jokingly. you rolled your eyes, but how could you not take him up on his offer?

-from then on, you're living with your best friend and taking care of the place while he's away. if you're staying rent-free, the least you could do was try and be as neat as possible (he insisted it was okay with the place looked like it was lived in, but you refused).

-when he'd come back from his missions, he'd still shower you in little gifts he'd get along the way when possible. you always tried to have some kind of meal ready for him, too.

-"you're always cooking for us, a'm feeling like i should do it sometime," he says, already knowing the answer to that proposal.

-"absolutely not." (the one time you let him cook was when you were both in college. he caught a pan on fire, somehow.)

-"you hurt me!"

-"oh, please."

-eventually, the routine becomes more and more domestic to the two of you. soap's mother always calls out how you two are living like a married couple, but the both of you just laugh it off like neither of you have noticed.

-you eventually notice changes in johnny's gifts. it went from gag gifts and plushies to little pieces of jewelry or intricate pens. sometimes you even think you catch him staring at you, but maybe it was just wishful thinking. he hasn't mentioned being interested in anyone in a while, either.

-it all comes to a head when johnny doesn't come home the day he said he would. sure, it happened at times, but this was the longest amount of time he's been late.

-eventually, he finally walks through the door with too many injuries, a bruise on his lip, and walking with a rough limp.

-you tend to him immediately, of course, interrogating him on what his doctor told him he should do to take care of his healing wounds. the rest of the night goes just like how the others have gone, with you making sure he's fed, warm, and resting.

-by the time you're closing his window for him, you're absolutely exhausted. you had barely gotten any sleep because of johnny's delayed return. normally, you would've let him do more for himself, but the extent of his injuries was worrying you.

-"ye ken am alright, aye?" he asks you in that low, rich voice, searching your eyes for something other than worry and sleepiness. he's sitting up in his bed by the time you walk back to him (despite the fact that you told him to lay down).

-"you're injured. you came home late."

-"what? ye have no faith in me?" he mocks hurt, trying to put a smile on your face or at least get an exhale of amusement out of you, but you weren't in the mood. he could tell by the way you didn't respond and the permanent but subtle frown on your face.

-"i know you're good at your job, johnny," you finally say, ready to call it a night.

-"good. then ye know i'll always come back home to ye, aye?"

-you swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded, too tired to overthink about what he just said.

-"come here," he orders quietly, reaching out to you.

-gently, he coaxes you into laying next to him. the last time you ever slept in the same bed as johnny was when you two were kids. you were having a sleepover at his house with you in his bed and him on a spare mattress. you had a nightmare so bad it woke johnny up, but instead of brushing it off and making a joke of it, he jumped into bed with you and hugged you protectively. he said it was a good way to train for becoming a soldier, and you couldn't help but snort with laughter.

-just like back then, you had an easy time falling asleep in his arms, now.

-you woke up that morning well-rested and still encased in johnny's arms, which was impressive considering the fact that most times he sleeps in a position that looks like he flung himself across the bed.

-when he wakes up, you sit up with the intention getting breakfast up and running, but johnny doesn't like that idea.

-"johnny, it's almost eleven. we have to eat something," you chide, trying to get out of his impossibly strong grasp.

-"ye get all sad when am gone but yer trying to leave, now?"

-"well, i suppose if you're well enough to joke, you're well enough to clean the rest of the house and cook, yeah?"

-he lets go of you immediately in a comical fashion, and you have to catch yourself as you hurl out of bed from the built momentum of your escape. you look back at him with a seriously? look on your face as he laughs at your near fall.

-"doesn't that hurt?" you question him, remembering the bruise and cut near his lips and throat.

-"maybe a little," he admits. "kiss it better?"

-the grin on his face makes you think he was setting you up for that one. how could he be so confident?

-just like the times when his mother called you two a married couple, you laughed it off and headed to the kitchen to start breakfast.

-that wasn't the only time johnny's behavior changed noticeably. now, his longing stares at you were more blatant than ever. he'd hold you by the waist if he was moving past you and even told someone flirting with him "oh, i've got someone at home," while he was on call with you on the other end.

-what more could you do than accept it? it wasn't like you didn't like it, anyway.

-one night, you're both in the dining room with you standing and him sitting down on a chair. his hands are on your waist with his legs on either side of you as you reapply a band-aid to his temple (something he could very well do on his own, but any excuse to be close to you, right?).

-as you finish putting it on, your attention draws itself to his lip nearly healed. gently ghosting your finger across the barely visible bruise, you murmur, "good to see this one's basically healed."

-"awe, but it isn't," he corrects you, a slight pout on his face.

-"it isn't?"

-"no, still hurts like hell." you should've seen this one coming. "kiss it better?"

-"that's the second time you've asked me," you were rolling your eyes as you withdrew your hand from his face, but he caught your hand in his.

-"am being serious, (n/n), only a kiss'll make it better," he insists, that damn smile back on his face.

-you couldn't help but wonder if he was actually being serious or just pulling your leg.

-"how could you be so sure?" you challenged him.

-"seen it in ma dreams." oh, that was a funny one.

-"you dream about kissing people to heal your wounds?" you ask through the remnants of your laughter, but he's still looking at you with that same far-off smile on his face.

-"no, just of you."

-there's a pause between the two of you as you process what he said.

-"oh."

-he squeezes your hand with an expectant look in his eyes, like he knew you were head over heels just as much as he was for you.

-you cleared your throat and tried to ignore the searing burning in your cheeks. "well, i guess if you dreamt it, it must be true," you tell him.

-he places his unoccupied hand under your chin and guides your face to his, but he doesn't close the gap. it was like he was waiting--making sure you really wanted to go through with this.

-but you do, so you press your lips to his and he lets go of your face to put his palm on the small of your back, pulling you impossibly closer toward him.

-later that night, when you're back in his arms watching your guys' favorite show and he's calling his mother to tell her the news, you can hear her shrieks of excitement coming through the phone.

-the only thing you don't hear is when she asks, "when's th' wedding?"

-"soon, hopefully," he looks at you leaning against him, head pressed against his shoulder and arm clinging to his like it was meant to be. "but there's no rush. a've waited this long, aye?"

[kernyen-xo]

Here we go. It’s a long one.

My aunt is dying. Any day now, her son told the family. So, everyone flocked to see her, including mom, which entailed a 17-hour train ride from San Diego to Sacramento. My brother and I usually meet up in Bakersfield to deliver the momster because she refuses to fly and now refuses to take the train. Of course, doing the Bakersfield thing is a pain, especially if you’re not a morning person because I have to leave by 4:30 am to make sure I’m in Bakersfield by 10. Now, really, I’m glad for it in the end because I’m back home by 2:30-3p.

This time around, mom had to take the train because she was afraid her sister would die before she got to see her. So, mom was insistent she had to leave asap, which meant no Bakersfield trip since my brother and I had to work.

Easy-peasy.

That is, except this last weekend. Mom arrived Friday night near midnight (17-hour train ride, remember?). The next day we see Auntie Sally. That night, I go to the birthday celebration for me, the kid, and grandkid. Mom didn’t want to go.

Anyway.

I assumed my brother and I would meet up in Bakersfield the following weekend, which is a-ok. I have plenty of time to rest and mentally rev myself for the trip, which is something I need to do. Otherwise, without this precious time, I don’t handle it well.

Guess what? Mom wants to leave the next day. I’m like, wait, what? But, I just say ok and quietly freak out inside. This really changes everything. I tell my granddaughter, who is staying the weekend with me to shower at night, that all she has to do is roll out of bed the next am and get in the car where she can sleep.

Easy-peasy, right?

Except, when we arrive in Bakersfield, my brother is not at our meeting place. He’s always there first - always. The guy is an extreme morning person, up every day by 4am. In fact, I thought it was weird that he didn’t call once asking me for an update of my progress.

Long story short. I know, too late.

He thought the mom delivery wasn’t taking place until the following weekend. I was thinking, ok, we’ll head back home and try this again next weekend. But mom? No way. She refuses to go and suggests I leave her there to wait for my brother. Really? Like, I’d do that, and she knows I’d never do that.

So, after drinking a lot of beverages, shopping at WalMart and Nordstrom’s Rack, my brother arrives. He must have booked it because what’s usually almost a 5-6 hour drive, he made it in 3.

The grandkid and me were home by 6:30. I apologized to her for how the day went. She said, what a day! I agreed. We really didn’t get to spend quality time together. I was supposed to take her home that night, but I was so exhausted that I asked if the kid could take her instead, which she did.

The last-minute trip was hard on me. I remember the days when I could drive in a pinch no problem! Those days are gone. I missed work on Monday to recuperate. Ya, this old gal ain’t what she used to be.

And now, I need to get ready for work.

Thx for reading.

Have a good day :)

Toods!

[nighthunter241]

He is Mine-Prologue (Henry Cavill x male reader)

NOT MY GIF, GIF USED FROM TUMBLR OPTION 18+ DNI if you are lower the age of 18

(First day of the Freshman year)

M/N….M/N….M/N….WAKE UP, you wake up and it is your brother Anthony being annoying. “Why did you wake me up, can’t you see I was sleeping dumbass.” Anthony signs and says, “Well maybe it is because I don’t know ... .IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL SO GET UP.” You jump up instantly “Shit,Shit,Shit I forgot to set my alarm,” “You're welcome by the way” says Anthony but you barely hear him due to you running to the bathroom. After a quick shower you put on your school uniform which you sadly must wear, three kids and your parents of course still wanted to send you to a prestigious school. You go downstairs for breakfast and see your other brother Sebastian finishing his breakfast. “OOOHHHHHH someone is going to be late” says your brother. You ignore him and grab a quick bite; your mother and father go up to you “We told you not to stay up late and we also reminded you about your alarm.” “I’m so sorry mom and dad won’t happen again.” “Better not” says your father but his tone is not serious, after breakfast you notice your siblings left you and you are forced to run like hell to school. While running you check the time on your phone and without paying attention you run into someone. You fall onto the floor and before you can process what happened you hear a voice with a soothing british accent. “I am sorry, here let me help you up” you look up and see a good-looking guy with his hand extended towards you. “Um ... .no need to apologize I wasn’t paying attention; my name is M/N.""My name is Henry. It is a pleasure to meet you, wait a second, that uniform you are going to attend S/N also.” “Yes, I am currently a freshman” you said, “How about we walk together to school then.” After making it to school on time you barely get your schedule and head to homeroom you end up realizing you are with Henry. “Hey, good to see you again I guess we are in the same homeroom” you say. “We are, well at least I know one person here”  says Henry. “You barely know me though, not to sound too rude,” “Well I guess that means we just need to get to know each other” Henry chuckles and you blush. 3 years later (Senior year)

You are making your way back home on a Friday without your siblings due to them having to stay back because of their club, you did not really care you were happy the weekend came. Three years passed by so quickly, everything still seems the same, you and Henry have become good friends, but a part of you always hopes for something more but having Henry as your friend seems better than having him hate you. You two would always walk to school together then he would go to meet up with his other friend before  meeting up in the homeroom class and any other classes you guys had together. Except for lunch since that is where he usually likes to be alone so you respect that. You cannot stop staring at him, the way he looks, the way his eyes look when he is talking to you makes you feel things. You accepted the fact you have feelings for him, the question is whether it is worth trying to tell him without knowing if he even feels the same way. Hours pass and you are ready to head to bed when you get a strange text from Robert, another student you worked on a school project a month back.

Robert: Hello M/N

M/N: Hey?

Robert: You remember me, right?

M/N: Yes, we worked on that science project, the one that I DID all the work in

Robert: Which I gratefully thanked you for

M/N: Anyway, why are you randomly texting me?

Robert: Well, I saw you staring at a certain senior for a while and a little birdie told me you might have some sort of romantic feelings for that senior, that senior being Henry.

M/N: I am sorry I believe this is a misunderstanding.

Robert: Relax, I am not going to threaten to expose you, I am wanting to help by giving you a heads up.

M/N: Heads up?

Robert: Do you know someone named Amy; she is in your AP Calculus class.

M/N: Oh yes, she is Henry's childhood best friend, I see them talk to each other before I meet up with him in our homeroom.

Robert: Well ... .to get to the point she likes Henry deeply and wants to confess her feelings for him this upcoming Friday since she believes in that dumb school legend.

M/N: ????

Robert: Is it really that hard to understand?

M/N: No, is not….just that random for you tell me and why are you.

Robert: Well after cheating off you this entire year I believe it is good karma for me to help you.

M/N: WAIT YOU DID WHAT THIS WHOLE YEAR!

Robert: Relax man you helped me out, I really do not give a shit about this school stuff since I am going to run my father’s company anyway. 

M/N: Whatever, so you telling me this is just because you want to be generous, what is the catch?

Robert: No catch just helping a friend 😊

M/N: Ok????

Robert: So, you have until Friday to stop her by any means necessary.

M/N: What do you mean by any means?

Robert: Oh, you know, over time I am sure you will understand.

M/N: What?

Robert: Well goodnight and text me whenever you need me for anything, and I mean ANYTHING. I would think fast, you do not want to lose Henry and lose the opportunity to be with him.

What the hell you thought, you went to bed trying to forget what just happened until you started having a dream. You woke up in a room with Amy and Henry and they were just chatting and for some reason you were getting angry. “Henry is mine, and you won’t get in the way!” you said while running to her and before you could attack her  you randomly woke up startled. It was Saturday seven in the morning, and you decided to get up. You thought to yourself, “what in the world was that dream, can you really be willing to hurt someone over a crush”. You had no homework to do, and your brothers and parents were still sleeping, out of curiosity you looked up Amy on social media. Now knowing about her confession coming up you start realizing all the signs were there, she always liked Henry and now she was ready to tell him, if the legend is true then that means Henry will say yes and you will lose your chance with him. You grabbed your phone and texted Robert hoping he would be up. M/N: HEY WAKE UP

Robert: Well, someone is excited.

M/N: Can you find any info on Amy, I mean anything.

Robert: Oh, someone is all ready to plan, I wonder what it is.

M/N: Just shut up and do it please.

Robert: All right I will do my best, who am I kidding of course I will find something I am the best.

You wait for a bit and after some time Robert has sent you a file with general information about Amy, you read it, but nothing catches your attention. If they are friends her feelings for him will never go away, so what can you do? Unless you could somehow change his perspective of her that will cause him to think differently of him. That's it, you just need to make sure their friendship diminishes to the point where Henry cannot see himself in a relationship with her if their friendship is not working out, but can you do that in just one school week, well you must try at least.

[lantur]

I got back from Peru this morning after an overnight flight from Lima. :) It's been wonderful to be with Derek and Westin again, and to nap and relax after a 10-day trip!

Unorganized thoughts,

The Inca Trail was the most intense, demanding physical experience of my life. The group my friend and I were with hiked 26 miles/41 kilometers over 4 days, in rough terrain including the highlands of the Andes, the Amazon, and the cloud forests of Peru. The hike was at altitude, at an elevation nearing 13,828 feet/4,215 meters - which I struggled with, coming from living at sea level. I learned that I'm fit on sea level, but NOT at altitude. I also caught a pretty bad cold from another group member overnight on Day 3, which made Day 3 and Day 4's hikes extra challenging.

We were up at 4:30 AM every morning (3:30 AM on our final day to reach Machu Picchu), and due to my slower pace/altitude struggles, I usually had ~10-12 hours of hiking steep inclines and inclines. It was really so hard and I had to be very careful on the steep, rocky steps. The hiking poles saved me! We had to ascend and descend four mountains over the course of our hike. Ascents were really challenging for me due to shortness of breath at altitude. Descents were easier on my cardiovascular system, but required a lot of concentration to make sure I didn't miss my footing and fall down steep, uneven stone steps. Each step was about 12 to 18 inches high, which is significant for my friend and I, who are under five feet tall.

We also camped every night for 3 nights, in tents, which I've never done before. Our group bonded over the struggles of surviving the hideous campsite bathrooms, not being able to shower for four days, finding safe and private places to use the bathroom in the wild, staying warm at night, staying dry in the constant rain on day 2, and our feet and legs killing us at the end of the day. We ate every breakfast, lunch, dinner, and teatime together, and I liked everyone in the group. :) We enjoyed our time together and talked a lot.

We got to explore several Inca ruins on the way to Machu Picchu, and Machu Picchu itself was incredible. The scenery and views along the hike - the mountains, the jungle, the cloud forest - made it worth it, despite how physically difficult it was. I've never seen anything like it before. The sound of the birds singing in the jungle, the llamas and alpacas in the mountains, the butterflies, the rainforest flora... That was amazing.

One of my favorite memories was Thursday morning, when we all woke up at 3:30 AM and hiked in the dark to be among the first at the checkpoint to enter. We all brushed our teeth in the forest around the trail and hung out until the sun rose at 5:30 AM and we could enter the park. :)

My friend and I spent Friday chilling out in Cusco and recovering from our hike. We were SO tired when we got back to our hotel on Thursday night, and so relieved to finally shower and sleep in a real bed. We traveled from Cusco to Lima to Atlanta/Miami to Minneapolis. I got home this morning around 10:45 and I've literally just been sitting on the sofa or napping. Doing post-trip laundry was the big accomplishment of the day, lmao.

This was such an adventure. I'm so glad I could do it, and return safe. It was wonderful to experience South America for the first time, and I hope to go back many times. It was wonderful to completely disconnect with no phone/internet while I was in the mountains. The whole experience was a test of my physical and mental endurance, and my ability to be out of my comfort zone - but as I told my friend when we got back, while I was on the trail, simply focusing on nature and getting through each ascent and descent safely, it let me forget about the things I've experienced this year. My dad dying, estrangement from my mom, the ongoing interpersonal stresses at work. It was a great way to close out my 30th year, which has also been my hardest year.

My 31st birthday is tomorrow. :)

[lascapigliata]

bugs /

going home for mothers day this weekend and it just occurred to me that i would have to leave food out for lila and normally for two nights i wouldn't even think twice about it no big just put out a bunch of food but now?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? i don't want to starve her obviously but how can i leave food out when THAT WAS THE PROBLEM before and i would take all of my prophylactic measures but they're not exactly good for animals which sent me into a tailspin this weekend anyway so like ????? do i just ?? hope that since i now seem to not have ants that if i leave some more food out than usual they won't appear? or do i just say she's a cat and she'll survive a day without food??? does it matter if the crumbs will still be there bc i won't be able to clean them up?? i still have the gravity feeder in my shower where i left it to dry and i've been too scared to go in there which i won't have a choice about tomorrow anyway but i just can't see myself actually USING it again so soon

and the irony of course is that that feeder sat out for like 3 weeks with NO ISSUES and then suddenly there was a massive issue so should i take that to mean that it'll be fine bc it was before??? but what if it was the heat that did it not escaping insecticide? in which case like.. it's still fucking hot! i can't exactly interrogate the dead ants and see why they came in!!!

and i would call my parents to see what they think but i am SO FUCKING SICK OF CALLING OTHER PEOPLE RIGHT NOW i just want to handle one (1) problem or decision by my(1)self. i fucking hate the heat i hate spring i hate summer i hate this all. in the winter this was simply a nonissue and now literally everything is an issue again

like i guess i have to feed her tonight, which i'm procrastinating on hard which is coutnerintuitive i guess but i just realized i haven't gone over to her dish yet today so i'm so scared of what i'll find over there even though i NEED to go deal with it because i NEED to go to sleep etc and i'll just suck it up and call my mom tomorrow and see what she thinks like i know all my various instincts are completely unreasonable in one direction or another

[dorefasolsido]

42.

Do you ever worry about your future? (i.e.: college, marriage, kids, etc)

Well I can't say it doesn't happen, but it's not really worrying about marriage and kids because I know deep in my soul that these things just aren't for me. Whenever I try to imagine myself in those roles, I want to jump out of my skin, so no, I'm pretty sure that's out of the picture. Still, I do worry about whether people around me can accept me the way I am and whether everyone will move on and build their own families, leaving me utterly alone. Now those are the worries that keep me up at night.

Does your family use coasters? Is anyone in your family excessively tidy?

Usually we do. And yes, my mum is sometimes ridiculously tidy.

What’s your least favorite chore to do around the house? Do you have to do this often?

Cleaning the kitchen or bathroom sink or the shower drain for sure. I used to hate dishes, but I have a dishwasher now, and tbh, this is much much worse.

If you went to your mom/dad or whoever you live with and said “hey, I’ll clean the whole house if you give me 20 bucks” would they go for it? Would you raise the price?

I don't think my sister would go for it because: 1) she doesn't earn her own money yet and 2) why the fuck would she accept when I do it for free anyway

Are you usually late, early or right on time?

Usually a bit early, though it really depends on the traffic.

If you wrote a journal entry about your last date, what would it say?

I don't write journal entries.

On a scale of 1 to 5 how organized are you?

I think I come across as much more organized than I actually am tbh. So I don't really know. Maybe like 2.5 or 3.

Name a movie you can watch over and over again and not be bored with?

Let's say Mean Girls.

Do you wear pajamas to places other than at your house?

Well yeah, if I travel somewhere and stay at an apartment or a hotel.

Do you take showers in the morning or at night more?

In the evening usually.

What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?

It's just a white Samsung theme with a little cartoon cat.

Do you still have your tonsils?

Yup.

What is the worst thing someone has ever done to you?

It's hard to remember the specifics since I'm currently in a pretty good mood and would rather not ruin it by reminiscing about the people that have wronged me in the past lol

Have you ever gone nude/streaked in public?

Not since I was a very small child.

Do you snore? Steal the covers? Roll around in your sleep?

I think I sleep like a corpse most of the time. Like, sounds do wake me up, but when it's quiet, I don't move an inch.

Why aren’t you with the person you love?

I don't love anyone romantically. Otherwise, I am with a bunch of people that I love.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?\

I mean, I'm a bit of a mess but sure.

Do you like the rain?

Yes, sometimes it fits the mood.

What is your mom listed under in your phone?

I listed her as "mother" in Japanese because I don't want to forget how to write it.

Do you like going to the dentist?

I do actually. I'm a bit of a minority in this, but I find all those medical procedures and checkups kind of interesting. Like, I doubt I'd enjoy if anything was seriously wrong with me, but when it's these small things, I really don't mind.

Are you afraid of speaking to large audiences?

Yes. I'm afraid of speaking to small audiences too.

Are you afraid to tell the truth sometimes?

All the time.

What’s one quality about yourself that you feel sets you back but also helps you?

Uhhh, well sometimes I feel like my natural tendency to question everything might be it. Of course that's good, but it also makes me not really trust anyone, you know? Like, I have friends that I've known for over a decade and I still sometimes question their words and motives, which kind of sucks on my part.

Was anyone who had been in your company today in a bad mood?

I haven't been in anyone's company yet.

The last time you felt sick what exactly was wrong?

I don't remember the last time that happened.

What did you do today?

Got up, had my usual standup call, did some research for the next article, wrote like 10 words then gave up because I already met my quota for this month and it's Friday. Maybe I'll just catch up on Sunday, or maybe I won't even bother.

[202311073]

🎢 My Fantasy About Andre Rieu Before the Next Journey to...

We got out of the bus. I was 16, and my name is Frilly for my beautiful hair.

I’m wearing a short pink dress a to below halfway down my girly thighs. It’s tight of course around the waist and “bust.” It has cute buttons. It has warm stockings for the cold, cold, cold winter.  Hee hee hee!  (I getting used to this…)  I have a pink like bonnet beret, you get the picture, like “Little Miss Muffet.”  I have a cute made up animal backpack with lots of space. I have dress shoes on that are warm and sorta pointy. I have on my gloves. I have my hair smooth with waves at the very end and bangs combed to the side parted on the side some. The material is made by me and thick and strong and soft etc. It’s, like, perfect now!

So, Frilly has eaten well and exercised. Andre Rieu has some real children and some “adopted” ones. Frilly is not the littlest nor youngest etc. She is still gonna grow, but she is younger than Andre Rieu. So, she is 5’6”. I guess Andre Rieu is usually sorta around 6’. That’s tall for an American. There are fat men in California. The skinny girls cling to them, and they tall. Of course, I was just a little girl from Miami playing around in Disney World…

So, it’s still daylight. Frilly was ready and had fun on the bus… tho it’s the night that’s “fun.” “Florida” kinda fun.

She has a hard time wandering around the other people. Andre Rieu is doing his job and overtime with his peoples. Frilly rubs nearby and rotates towards him and says to her “adopted” dad since her dad is deceased, as her mom, who she never knew well… and he sees she is more tired than everyone else and picks her up and talks to her so she can relax and not “talk back” and he helps her to sleep. They arrive at the restaurant and she wakes up in his lap, and she gropes her hand around the toy. She has a hard time sitting so walks around eating. They get back on the bus and she sits alone in the back and Andre Rieu comes by to cuddle her in his lap since she doesn’t know she can’t really sit or else she’ll get tired, now.

They arrive at the “performing arts center” in East Germany.

Frilly is working with the young men. She gets treats and eats her meal and stuff. When she is done, she wanders around. She gets to sit with some of the gentlemen and boys in different tech…

When it is all over, they eat at a nice quaint place. They get back on a transportation and head for a nice big hotel.

Frilly has a great time in the shuttle with TV in it.

They get back and she wanders around and buys candy and hangs out and uses the gym!

They go back to the hotel rooms and shower and next day is another travel.

The next night at the hotel they get back a little earlier. They fall asleep watching movies. Frilly usually plays undercovers partly. She has pajamas on she loves a lot and great kinda full covering slippers. Her favorite TV shows that come on in the same places at the same time like at 3 AM were the cartoon of the cross eyed bunny and  a documentary about Audrey Hepburn (Dutch) and a lot about her in “My Fair Lady,” 1 year younger than her Gramma. So, this time, she gets to stay with Andre Rieu and he’s not alone today, with a few other people of different types and ages. She is up playing a game with some kids mostly. She is looking forward to waking up early as always using the gym an hour and the pool an hour. They have a surprise for Andre Rieu since he’s in charge and so cute and sweet. They bring in a cake and presents and have a party. They take a video and pictures and wind down and put on a favorite program. Some are on their devices or online. Next day is great. At the end of this one, Frilly goes to a children’s museum and buys food and some souvenirs, like a T-shirt, a keychain, and more. She goes crazy and at some point gets to see the “adopted” of some dad, who has his real children, and she’s not the youngest nor littlest there. She runs into him and bounces up and hugs him and she squeals when he lifts her up and carries her around and talks some around and other people come and they all have fun!... and life has lots of things and great media.

[seaah]

omg diwali this year

(spoiler alert: SUPER LONG POST!! read if you have the time)

in case you didn't know, I celebrate diwali, which is a Hindu festival where you light diyas (oil lamps), make rangolis (patterns with colorful powder outside your house) and burst firecrackers! (which many don't do due to the pollution of it, but I still do :P) the backstory of which is a long story so if ya wanna know more bout it just ask me :)  

ANYWAYS this years diwali in particular was super exhausting :’D it was on sunday, and i woke up at fudging 6 AM because my father wanted to take us (my sis and I) on a mountain climb -.- to be fair, it did have steps. But it was SO tiring!! Im not a morning person, so climbing 670 steps up a mountain at 8 AM was definitely not the best way to start of my day >:(

when we got back down through the pathway back to our parking spot, we were ofc SUPER hungry, and there was a lil snack shack near where we parked, so we went to get some food. There were pictures of burgers on a chart hanging from the shack, so we asked for some, but they only served grilled chicken. now, I’m NOT vegetarian or vegan, but on diwali, you’re only supposed to eat vegetarian food. so we just got some cup noodles. but MAN i coulda killed for a chicken burger :(

we got back in the car, and went to buy some shoes, because my father INSISTS that we jog every morning at 6:30 AM, EVEN THOUGH we exercise every evening, and we need jogging shoes for it. again, NOT a morning person, so this is awful :( but if there’s one thing you gotta know my father, is that he’s stubborn as FUDGE so i just hafta do it -.- anyways, we get the shoes, and on the way back i hit my head on a sign. instead of asking if i was okay my father yells at me for being an incompetent person and points out every flaw about me -.- i hear this all the time but it still hurts each time :(

we go back home and by the time we reach its 2 PM. i was like “FUDGE” because we had guests coming over at 12, so we’re like two hours late! but luckily, they’re not here yet, so we have time to get ready :D

like i said, we literally went up a mountain so we just rested for half an hour. Idk what my sis did but i read lackadaisy. Anyways its 2:30 PM and my sis went for a shower. and not 5 MINS later, the guests show up. I mean, we are close with these people, and their son is a great friend of ours, so of course i was happy, but i hadn’t even showered yet TwT anyways, i play uno with this guy while my sis showers and at 3 she’s ready, so i go to shampoo my hair. i ‘m done by 3:30 PM tryna pull myself together and then i find out they’re all done eating TwT so i just eat by myself (my mom makes KILLER veg biriyani so its not like the food was bad or anything)

when i’m done, the three of us are assigned to make a rangoli (two actually, i'll explain) since we moved last year and the front space of our new flat isn’t too big, our friend and my sis make the main rangoli INSIDE our house, while i made essentially a mini rangoli outside our flat BY MYSELF WITH NO HELP. it was really exhausting but i managed to finish it by 6 PM which was my mothers given deadline (the reason no one else helped was because my mother genuinely did the most work out of us and the rest of the adults were sleeping -.-) so after we’re done, my sis and i wear our ghagras (traditional dress) and basically get ready for the upcoming PHOTOSHOOT (my mother LOVES taking photos and usually takes multiple so this is how i like to term it) when we’re done, we perform the puja (another tradition of diwali) and then we go outside to burst the firecrackers! all by 7 PM B)

we didn’t have as many crackers as last year so it only lasted about an hour, but it was sooooo much fun! there were SO many people outside also bursting crackers, and it was really cool to see! I lit “bomb” like crackers for the first time this year, while also lighting crackers like sparklers, rockets, flower pots, pili crackers, pop-pops, and others too! Legitimately so much fun :D but i couldn’t help thinking about last year, where i got to celebrate with many of my friends, and celebrations lasting well into 9:30 PM. laughing and joking while lighting crackers is the main reason why this holiday remains my favourite, nothing can top that. still had a good time regardless :)

we’re done by 8 PM and we head home. we play games like uno and astro party with our friend again till dinnertime (same thing as lunch, along with vadas and subji) another uncle also had come along while we were bursting firecrackers and gifted us a box of cream buns (which, btw, were SUPER DELISH and made me really fancy XD) we enjoy some more till its 10 PM and our friend’s gotta go :( we say goodbye to them and go back home (its common to go outside with guests to see them off) we change into nightclothes and IMMEDIATELY start using our devices till 11:30 PM XD GOD did i need that tho. then we brush our teeth and go to bed at 12 AM (dw, i woke up at like 8 AM the next day so i got sufficient sleep :>)

and that was my diwali! Despite all the stress, i enjoyed very much and continues to be my no 1 holiday :D i hope ya’ll enjoyed reading and maybe even learned a lil something about different cultures along the way :) thx for reading, and have a nice day/night! love ya’ll <3

[darlingkara]

Nevermind the loose dirt. It's my 99 cent grocery store plant rescue that I am trying to save via better soil/re-potting and with bread ties, and my little tiny espresso. The stems were brown when I got it, but I don't think she is gonna make it. Taken a few days ago, but seemed like good photo for this post.

I woke up WAY too early. Again. I either stay awake for like 25 hours, and sleep 8, or the usual 16 hours and sleep about 4 hours. I have had 3 sleep lab tests done (albeit years and years ago) when I kept falling asleep. This was before I had this weird habit I have now. I slept normally back then. Diagnosis: Narcolepsy and non-24 hour sleep cycle (Circadian Rhythm Disorder?). I was a bit blown back, to be honest, especially by Narcolepsy. And guess what? The MD had to report it to the DMV, if I did not. If you have a driver's license, it is stated on it AND you have to be medicated while driving. The medicine was Dexedrine, or pretty much @mphetamine. Makes sense-- Can't be falling asleep while driving. I stayed awake, and my depression lifted. Any MD's reading this-- Please consider it for treatment resistant depression. I never felt hyper on it (I felt nothing, tbh) which would of course, lead me to being diagnosed with ADHD*.

So now, I am an unmedicated ADHD and sleep disorder gal of a mess, hahaha. But I am happy, or at least content. I think it has gotten better, or I have learned how to deal with it. I could not do now what I did in my unmedicated 20's-- Full time school, full time job and a kid. Nope. I have ZERO idea how I did it. The narcolepsy mostly went away. I WILL fall asleep at the theatre, so don't bother inviting me, especially in Plague Era that 99% of people refuse to admit still exists. And it is 50/50 in any dark situation, regardless of how well rested I am.

Luckily, I can now work when I want (other than 2 days a month), and do not have to drive. I do have to set an alarm for three days out of the week for class (it is used as a take a shower and get ready alert bc I keep waking up before it, lol), but luckily it isn't early. I LOVED driving, btw, and I loved cars. But as an American, what else are you supposed to do? Tangent, but... I would re-do SO much in the USA if given the chance. Like...Public transport and social housing. These are looked down upon in the US, which makes it seem SOOOOO odd to me now. Plus the whole gun thang. Sorry, but I will never change my mind. The 2nd Amendment was written for MUSKETS. We have drones now. If you feel the need to open carry a weapon of death to the grocery store, there is something wrong with you. Sorry, not sorry.

I am not exactly against hunting (if you do it for food, not sport). When I was about 12, we moved** to a mostly hillbilly area (not making fun of them-- I mostly like them dern hillbillies, and one of my BF'S was one since I was TWELVE... Though I have not been able to find her since 2021 or early 2022. Covid or went Trump, I do not know. I will continue my search. Her having the most generic name in the English speaking world does not help)). And well, my first look at hunting was not pretty. Dead deer legs, sticking out of truck beds. Like, everywhere. People told me this was normal. I literally vomited and remember thinking and saying, out loud at lunch, ''The fuck, this is NOT normal. Throw a TARP over it, for Christ's sake.''

*Btw, girls and women are SO good at hiding ADHD. We are typically not hyper or rowdy. If we are, it is within our safe spaces, with friends. If your sister/mom/gf/wife tends to forget things you have told her, seems unorganized or stressed over little things, gets bitchy before leaving the house with you, look into it first and do not get upset.

**I was not an Army Brat, but my family did move a lot (6 times, to different states), and it was not because of financial instability. Yes, my parents worked for the government, but not in any military way. So--I learned a new term-- TCK-- Third Culture Kid (also applies to adults). We are GREAT at fitting in anywhere, more empathetic, less racist (bc sometimes, even being white, people are racist if you are the minority. Trust me, I know personally, and it was horrible), tend to attend university more (not saying all should).. But of course there is a catch.

We probably have attachment disorders on all sides. I didn't get the overly attachment type, luckily. If anything, I need help attaching. And I do not have ''the itch'' to move. As an adult, I rented the perfect house for me and my minion at the time. Great school district, fenced in (by chicken wire on one side for most of the time) backyard, walkable to the downtown area in 3 mins, and I was allowed to plant a garden and paint, etc. I did have to mow the effing backyard when my weirdo neighbor went away every summer. Fucker never told me when he was leaving, but the grass length did. I lined the fences with gladiolas and ivy and had a gas BBQ and a nice table and umbrella. I would let my kitties out every now and then, but only when I was there-- they could escape if they wanted to. One was a serial killer, not even kidding. A Persian, fluffy, serial killer. I got minion*** a slip and slide, hahahaha... We threw some pretty good backyard parties. All of my neighbors were snobs. Like Harvard asshole snobbery. Anyway, I lived there the longest-- almost 11 years. My landlord wanted to sell it, and it was sold within about a month and a half. THAT SUCKED and was not expected... Thought I had about 5 or 6 months.

I had to go live with my mother, as she lived in the school district minion was in. Worst decision of my life. I love my mother, and she was really a great mother, but something went CRAZY in 2002 and again in 2014, that I am not yet capable of discussing on a public forum. Thinking of substack. Like a $4 a month thing. This is shit that horribly affected my life, and I needed therapy for-- as an adult. Shit that when I think about, even 8 years later, I still tear up. And I am NOT a cryer. As a mother, she was awesome! She told me to avoid beauty magazines, taught me how to plumb and do home repair, said chose your religion when you are an adult if you want to, and sooooo much more. My father was really great, as well. They stayed married for FAR too long. I think I was about 25 when they got divorced, but it was over my mom being selfish with her health insurance and cutting my dad off. He had a disabling heart attack when he was 42, and died in 2007. My mom cutting off his health insurance was fucking brutal.

The dude was ALWAYS on my side. So, I still say hello from time to time to my mother. Most importantly, I talk to minion, but he is busy working and crushing on some girl, his best friend's girl. They work together and he hates his job. He is waiting for her to give the okay for them to both leave and work somewhere else. I said DO NOT WAIT FOR ANYONE--- EVER!!! He sent me a pic of her and said that sometimes she drinks too much and gets sexual. I was like OMG.

She looks like me and that is what I did when I was younger. Freud, are you out there? It's me, Kara.

And I have lived here the second longest.

And I want to die and be buried here. Every year, there is a free concert, ranging from classical music to rock music, held at the cemetery.

5-30K people can come listen to music, drink a bit, dance, and have fun. That the cemetery I would like to be buried in.

If that is morbid to you, you are not invited. :)

***Minion is now an adult. I am not worried about his financial future (everyone born after The Boomers got fucked, let's be honest)because luckily, I am a Black Sheep, and he will get my inheritance. Good for him! Since I am 34-99 years old (haha), I will not tell you how old he is. Yes, I was married and he was planned. I was TOO young-- but when your spouse made $80k a year in the early 2000s, you figure, nice, I will just raise minion, and then finish school. That did not happen the way I had it planned. The ex husband is still wealthy and lucky, and it pisses me off. If you knew the full story, you would understand. Let's just say that one brutal character mentioned in today's blog had a lot to do with it, including my parent's divorce. I swear it is not some Jerry Springer shit, and they did NOT bang, and luckily, my father and I were together when we found ''the letters''. The Brutal one would end up doing MUCH worse things than having feelings for her daughter's husband, and yeah-- it is personal.

Life is 50% unplannable. I do believe in luck, and I do believe in you get what you give, although I LOATHE woo woo pseudoscience bullshit.

I will NOT be camming tonight. My theatre thing begins tonight. It is only once a month. Last week, I couldn't have a schedule because I still have periods, which are very predictable, but this every 18 days shit is a bit new. Usually its every 25 days, abnormal is under 23 days in between periods. Went to the dr, had hormone levels taken. Good news-- I am NOT an alien. Bad news is that the tests prove pretty much nothing. I am having about 5 more periods a year than normal-- so about half the year. Great. Of course I now have to a dailytake high-ish dose iron supplements. I believe I have peri or pre-menopause which literally NO ONE talks about, yet it affects HALF of the population. And pre or peri-menopause is WORSE than menopause. Menopause is easy street, so I have learned. Some days I am nice and patient, other days I want to bite your face off. Sometimes I am horny, sometimes I seem asexual. When my roommate/ex bf of like 12 years (No, we do not bang and maybe once a month I fall asleep in his room watching a movie), DARES to shut MY room's window or turn off MY fan, especially if I am sleeping and wake up hot, I am literally thinking:

''I could kill you, and if half the jurors were women 35+, it would be an excusable homicide.'' I am not a violent person at all, btw, in any way or sense. I am learning as I go along. Surprise, surprise, there is not a whole lot of research on it. Reddit's Menopause has been a Godsend.

In the one racist area I lived in, I was ''jumped'' by 3 or 4 girls who basically PLAN attacked me, outta the blue. I won. All almost 5 feet of me. I learned about adrenaline and JFC, I get strong and mean if I think I am gonna die. I kicked dirt into their eyes and kicked their throats. How fucked up is that? I was maybe 11 years old. I did not and do not know how to fight. Is is something instinctual? I have no idea and too many research topics as it is. All I knew was that there were three of them, one of me, and they were larger and taller than I was.

Anyway, off to shower and go to my classes. Idk if I will cam after the theatre or not.

And you would not believe what I found when I took out the garbage, shortly after writing this (within the hour). It is not a popular name here, afaik. I will post it on Twitter @DarlingKara.

[stormy333]

Day TEN! (Double Digits)

Hey Loves! Guess what?!?!? Today we hit double digits with the blog challenge! Wowza that's wild! 

So like how's your September going? We're ten days in and still here right? Anyways I hope your September is treating you well now let's get into today's topic of the challenge. 

Daily Routine 

Fun fact I actually have three different kinds of routines one for Sunday, one for the days I work and one for the days I am off. 

We'll start with Sunday

Sunday we (me and my parents) go to church at about 10:00 am and luckily we live about 5-10 minutes up the road from the church we go to soooo I sleep in until about 9 and then get dressed and make my bed while I get dressed. Then I take my morning medication, then we're ready to go. 

Church usually lets out between noon and one. So it's time to take my mid-afternoon dose of my four time a day medication. My family and I sometimes go out on Sunday's and sometimes we stay in and sometimes I stay home while my parents go out on the bike for a bit BUT either way Sundays we always have family time. We're mostly "early birds" around here, mostly because of my dad's job, he has to leave early. When my parents head to their room around about 7 begin the final steps of my night:

Feed the cats

Making sure my bedroom is tidied up (laundry put away, catbox cleaned, floor swept if it needs it, anything like that)

After that's all done it's time to take my nightly medications and the final dose of the four times a day medication 

Finally it's time for my devotions and my prayer journal

Now for the Day's I Work

Typically the days I work go the same as the rest of the days through the week just slightly different. I get my start at 5:30-5:45, I get up, get dressed and make my bed, while making sure that I have all of my stuff together for the day (I always do a double check the morning of). Then it's time to leave and head to work at like 6-6:30, occasionally we go to get iced coffee before work. As soon as I get to my Aunts house at about 7-7:15 my work day begins. Starting with breakfast, then helping getting my cousin ready for the day, starting his computer up so it can be booted up for classes. At 8 class starts and the school day begins. Around 10:15 it's lunch and recess time, now mind you all through him working on school I'm there listening to help him if need be, but I work on a blog and read. At lunch I take the dogs outside and make sure that they have food and water then get back to the kiddo. 11:30 we're back in class and I'm back writing or reading. By 2:30-2:35 school lets out and we get to go swimming as long as he's had a good day of course. Around 3-3:35 we head in and get changed into warm clothes and turn on a show and I get my stuff together to go home. Finally my work day ends when my Aunt comes home from work around 4-4:30. 

When I get home my parents and I usually watch a show or two while we eat dinner. Then it's nightly routine time. 

Feed the cats

Making sure my bedroom is tidied up (laundry put away, catbox cleaned, floor swept if it needs it, anything like that)

After that's all done it's time to take my nightly medications and the final dose of the four times a day medication 

Finally it's time for my devotions and my prayer journal

Now for a regular day

Again like a typical day it has all the fields, well maybe not all of them, but most of them. Take my medication throughout the day like I'm supposed to, talk to my best friend throughout the day randomly, talk to my mom randomly, and write for the blog. Now heres the difference, on these days I don't have an alarm, so no set time to get up though I usually am up by 8:30-9, let the dogs out, get the cats food and water, get breakfast and watch some tv, then I go and make my bed (if I feel up to it), typically I try to get a shower while no one is home and that usually goes hand in hand with getting my room cleaned and laundry done. Then I sometimes lay down for a bit, and once my parents are home my night goes the same as the rest.

Feed the cats

Making sure my bedroom is tidied up (laundry put away, catbox cleaned, floor swept if it needs it, anything like that)

After that's all done it's time to take my nightly medications and the final dose of the four times a day medication 

Finally it's time for my devotions and my prayer journal

Sorry Loves I know this one is kinda boring but it's how I do things. Anyway stay tuned for the rest of the challenge, maybe even subscribe? Who knows what adventures await us! 

Until next time Loves💙

[jaesvelvet]

scariest night — hamada asahi

warnings: grammartical errors

words: 1.8k words

pairing: husband! asahi + fem reader

notes: hi!! before you read this, i didn't study about medical so i didn't know if it make sense or not and enjoy reading!! <3

You open your eyes when your throat feels dry, you turn to your left— not surprised when Asahi is not there, beside you. He must be sleeping in the studio... Again.

You didn’t realize when you let out a sigh from your mouth, it’s been a month he didn’t come home often. Of course, you understand his work as a producer. He is completely busy in comeback season, and you wouldn’t mind if he sleeps in the studio for a day or two, not for a month. You want to talk to him about this but every time you want to speak up he is either asleep or playing with your daughter, Aimi.

It’s 2 am now, he didn’t even bother to text you or call. You get annoyed at his behavior, leaving you and your daughter alone.

Grabbing the water bottle from your nightstand, you take a sip for your dry throat. The sound of the door creaked, making your eyes look up to the door, hoping for Asahi. Your eyes soften when the person who opened the door is not Asahi but Aimi, pouting while hugging her teddy bear tightly.

“What’s wrong baby?” you asked, get out from the bed you shared with Asahi, walk towards your daughter.

“There’s a monster under my bed,” she said slowly, showing her puppy eyes to you. You smile, it’s not the first time she said there’s a monster under her bed, this is one of her tricks to sleep with you and Asahi.

“Really? Do you want to sleep with mama then?” you asked, caressing her brown silky hair.

Aimi nods her head

“And papa too!”

“Honey I’m sorry, Papa is still at work, tonight you sleep with me okay?” you said earning a pout from her.

“Why is Papa always not here?” she asked

“Well, Papa needs to raise us so he needs to work hard for money”

“I miss Papa,” she said

You kiss her forehead and carry her to bed

“I miss Papa too” you murmur, making sure the little girl didn’t hear.

+.*

You toss your phone to the couch, cursing under your breathe as Asahi didn’t pick up your call. You wander around your living room, having no idea how to reach your husband. Aimi has been coughing nonstop this week, you wouldn't bother to call Asahi if it’s just a normal cough, but when she said her chest pain whenever she cough, that made you worried sick.

Your phone rang making you flinched, you sigh when you saw your mom’s name on the screen instead of Asahi’s name. Lazily you press the green button and put your phone to your ear

“Hello, mom”

“Y/N I hope you do not forget about today’s dinner!” your mom said excitedly. Your eyes shut tightly, you did forget about today’s dinner. Your mom has planned this dinner for a month to celebrate your sister’s graduation from Seoul University.

“Of course not mom haha” you laugh awkwardly. You don’t want to come, you rather stay home with Aimi, but you hate seeing your mom’s disappointed face. She has been planning this for a month, she also said that she misses Aimi so much, how could you not come?

“That’s great! Don’t be late, I can’t wait to smooch my granddaughter” that is the last word your mom said before hanging up.

You sigh for the nth time. Like it or not, she needs to come to the dinner, she could ask her dad to send them to the hospital after dinner.

You enter Aimi’s room, her face a bit pale and shivering under her thick blanket, holding your tears, you slowly caressing her hair, waking her up from her sleep.

“Honey do you want to go to grandma’s house?” you ask

She looks at you for a second, processing your words maybe before giving you a wide smile from her chapped lips.

“Yes! I miss grandma so much” she said

You kiss her forehead and helps her to get up from her bed

“Grandma also misses you so much, but you need to shower first okay?”

“Will Papa be at grandma’s house too?” Aimi asked, her eyes full of hopes, making you scared to lie to her.

“Yes Papa will be there too,” you said with a reassuring smile.

+.*

“Grandma!” Aimi runs to hug her grandma, she laughs when your mother starts kissing her face. You thanked your sister for booking an Uber for you if she weren't here, maybe both of you didn’t come for dinner.

“Why are you so thin, did your mom's food taste bad?” she asked

Aimi laughs and shook her head, she wrapped her arms around your mother’s neck

“Mama food taste the best but can’t beat grandma’s!” she said

“Hey!” you frown, making both your mother and your daughter laugh.

You let your daughter stick around with her cousins while you waiting for Asahi to come, he texted you that he will make it to the dinner, you didn’t put your trust in his words so much as he seems to love his work more than both of you.

You feel relieved when you see his car in front of your mother’s house, you called Aimi to inform her that Asahi is here, she wastes no time and runs towards her dad. Asahi smile when he saw her daughter, he immediately wraps his hands around her small body and carries her towards you.

“I miss Papa,” she said, pouting to her dad, Asahi let out an apologetic smile to her and kiss her cheek

“I’m sorry pumpkin, Papa is very busy right now, but I promise, I will take you to the funfair if my works are done, okay!”

Aimi nods excitedly, Asahi kisses her forehead for the last time before letting her down to play with her cousins.

“Why do you never answer my call?” you asked, glaring at him.

Asahi sigh, he silks his hair back and looks at you.

“Seriously Y/N? I just came back from work, and this is your first question? No ‘how are you?’ or ‘did you eat yet?’” he asked

You scoff, crossing both of your arms on your chest

“You’re the one who should ask me that, you left us for a whole month Sahi”

“I left you for a reason, I have so much works to do, I thought you agreed with me for staying in the studio?”

“For a couple of days, not a whole month!” you nearly scream, you try your best to control yourself, not wanting to make any scene.

“You know how am I when it comes to work right? I need everything to be perfect, you should be more understanding”

“Leave, then”

“What?”

“I said leave! If you love your job more than—”

“Don’t twist my word Y/N, I never said—”

“Y/N, Asahi! Aimi faints!” your sister screams

Both of you immediately run towards Aimi, your whole body shaking when you see Aimi on the floor, her face pale, worst than before. You quickly carry her and making your way to Asahi’s car, he starts the engine and drives to the hospital.

“You still need to call an ambulance, you know how deep your mom’s house right? I’m afraid we didn’t make it to the hospital as soon as possible” he said

You nodded and dialed 911. Your mom's house is deep in the woods, it would take half an hour to get to the main road.

“What happens to her?” Asahi asks

“S-she’s been coughing this whole week, and today she said her chest pain whenever she cough and I tried to reach you, but as I said you love your works more than your own family,” you said

Asahi sigh. Talking back to you can’t make Aimi recover, he realized that he gives his attention to his works more than his family.

You are at the back seat, caressing your daughter’s pale face. You couldn’t stop praying, hoping she would be alright. Your hands that caressing her pale face, moves to her neck, your eyes getting bigger when you feel her pulse getting weak, you scream and softly tapping on Aimi’s cheek.

“Aimi, please don't leave mama yet” you cry, your hands cold as ice, your heart beats faster than usual and your tears couldn't stop from falling. Asahi cry on the spot, is this really the last moment for them?

He presses the gas pedal more, the car getting fast through the crooked road.

“Aimi, please” he prays

The loud sirens making both of you guys sigh in relief, Asahi stop the car in front of the ambulance, you quickly getting out from the car and pass your daughter to the paramedics. Asahi pulls you into a hug, your knees weak at the side of your daughter lay on the bed while the paramedics take out the defibrillator and place it on Aimi’s chest.

You bury your face on Asahi’s chest, you are reluctant to watch the scene in front of you.

“Aimi would be okay, she is strong” Asahi whispers to you, he rubs your back and kisses your forehead to calm you down. A moment later, the defibrillator success ending the dysrhythmia, Aimi’s heart begins to beat slowly. You slowly push Asahi’s body away and enter the ambulance to accompany your daughter. Asahi gets back to his car, follows the ambulance, he harshly hit the steering wheel, how could he ignore your call? If he could turn back time, he would rather spend time with you and Aimi than at the studio. For now, he could pray for nothing to happen to Aimi.

+.*

You and Asahi sit silently on the chair, watching your daughter breathe with the help of an oxygen mask. The doctor said that Aimi suffering from Pneumonia. Coughing, Pain chest, and hard breathing are symptoms of pneumonia. Luckily it is not worse yet and still can be treated, Aimi needs to stay in the hospital for a couple of days.

Asahi licks his lip, he softly rubs your hand.

“I’m sorry,” he said

You didn’t give him a reaction, you were too tired to deal with anything after your daughter almost died in your arm.

“This is all my fault, I should know my limits when working, I- if only I pick up your calls— gosh I hate myself so much” he starts sobbing, covers his face with his palm and his shoulders bounce since he breathes in and breathes out in quick succession.

“Everything is okay now” you whispers, tapping on his back

He shook his head

“Y/N, love I'm truly sorry,” he said, facing you, you could see his red and swollen face from crying earlier.

You give him a reassuring smile

“I hope you learned your lesson, please come home, babe,” you said. He nods and hugs you tightly, tonight is the scariest night for the both of you.

[fruitcoops]

Hi Eve! Could you maybe write something like Sirius having a majorly stressful week and he's been on edge all day and he finally decides to go talk to Heather if only to just let it all out. By the time he comes home he's exhausted but Remus is all ready for him, and he's greeted with the sight of Remus in a nice little heap of blankets and pillows piled up on their sofa with a Disney movie ready to play and all his favourite snacks lined up on the coffee table. And Sirius of course just about dissolves into a puddle of affection and gratitude because Loops 🥰🥰🥰

It's honestly concerning how much fluff I write. Oh, well! This is such a cute idea and I'll never pass up an opportunity to write soft Coops <3 SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

“So, you’ve started baking?” Heather looked up as Sirius nodded, fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. It still smelled a little like Remus from the last time he stole it, but not nearly enough to drown him in comfort. “That’s awesome. If you don’t mind, can I ask why you chose that as a hobby?”

“It’s—” Stupid. He bit the words back at the last second; Heather never liked self-deprecation, and they had been working on positive self-talk for…as long as Sirius could remember, really. “Uh, I helped Re’s mom make a pie over the holidays and I just have good memories associated with it, I guess.”

Heather jotted something down, her soft smile never faltering. She was wearing a sweater the same color as her name—it was distilled comfort, and Sirius felt some of the tension release from his back. “You said you do it when you’re stressed, right?”

“Sometimes.”

“Does the rhythm help, or is it something else?”

He stared at his hands, rubbing his thumb over the callus from his favorite spatula that was beginning to form. “I think…” he trailed off and bit his lower lip. Honesty always wins. Why do you like it so much? “The rhythm helps quiet my head down, yeah. And it smells like home. And—and if I do it right, I can’t screw it up.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“If I follow the recipe, it works. Every time. I can read the instructions as many times as I need to, and I can focus on that until everything up here—” He gestured vaguely toward his head. “—shuts up for a bit.”

Heather nodded; the room was quiet for a moment while she wrote before she settled into her chair and let out a slow breath. “I’m really happy you started doing this, Sirius.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep. We’ve talked about finding healthy amounts of control and tethers in your daily life, and from what you’ve said, this makes you happy in addition to helping you calm down. What do you do with everything you make?”

He shrugged. “Give it away, mostly. It’s healthier than store-bought stuff, and the guys like it. Re and I can’t eat it all ourselves.”

“How often do you stress bake?”

“Oh, probably three or four times a week.”

Shit, shit, shit. Heather’s eyebrows crept upward. “Oh?”

“…yes.” Can’t take it back now.

“Okay.” She made a quick mark on her clipboard—for the hundredth time, Sirius wished he could snatch it and run. “Interesting. Why are you so stressed?”

“It’s not like that all the time,” he said quickly. “Just over the past couple weeks.”

“What’s been going on?”

“Everything?” he said. It sounded more like a question. Heather made another note. “It’s—well, Jules got the flu two months ago and Re wasn’t sleeping because he was worried, so I got nervous and started staying up later so I’d be tired, but then I got bored and worried about both of them so I texted Hope about her pie recipe—"

“Sirius,” Heather interrupted gently. He closed his mouth and tucked his hands into his sleeves, palms itching. “Deep breaths, then tell me what’s been going on these past couple weeks specifically that was stressing you out.”

He obliged, counting ten before speaking again as his brain stopped feeling like someone poured pop rocks into it. “Right. So, this whole habit thing started two months ago, and we’re getting closer to you-know-what—”

“The playoffs?”

He made a quiet noise of distress and tapped the wood of the chair. “Oui, that. There’s a lot of pressure from last year, and when my friends are stressed, I get stressed, and baking is easy and fun so I just…didn’t stop. A lot of things are happening right now, and this feels like the only one I can control.”

“There you go,” she said with a proud smile. “Thank you.”

“What did I do?”

“You’re being more open and honest with yourself. It’s good to see.” She crossed one leg over the other and leaned slightly forward. “You’re a really, really good captain, Sirius. You are so in-tune with the other people in your life, but you’ve got to remember to step back and do things for yourself sometimes. Right now, baking is your stress relief because you can’t control your friends’ lives or emotional states. Try to find more things like that.”

He stared at her for a moment. “Are you diagnosing me with ‘needs a hobby’?”

“In a sense, yes. You have done an incredible job over the past few months of letting your world revolve around things other than hockey. Branching out to baking was an excellent choice. Now it’s time to find other things that give you similar comfort, okay?”

“Alright.”

“Fantastic. Let’s brainstorm.”

--------------------------------

Sirius dropped his bag next to the shoe rack and immediately leaned back against the door, closing his eyes with a sigh. Therapy was always exhausting, but usually in a good way. Already, he could feel the weight of the last three weeks lifting off his shoulders. “I’m home!” he called.

Remus materialized from the living room and padded over in his fuzzy socks, planting a kiss on each of Sirius’ cheeks. “You look tired. Good or bad?”

“Good,” he assured him. “We worked on finding a hobby.”

“Oh?”

“Apparently, baking every other day isn’t a great long-term coping mechanism.”

Remus kissed him lightly on the lips. “I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that.”

Sirius pulled back with a frown. “I thought you liked my baking.”

“I do. I also worry about how much space we have in our kitchen, and how much you sleep.” He gave Sirius a squeeze around the waist and patted his hip. “Now c’mere, I have a surprise.”

“What kind of surprise?” Sirius asked warily as he allowed himself to be pulled toward the living room. “Do we have company?”

“Does Hattie count?”

The dog in question barked when they entered the room, though she was buried beneath a mountain of blankets and only her nose and tail stuck out. In the hour and a half Sirius had been gone, the living room had transformed into a massive fort—the couch cushions were propped up around a nest of pillows and blankets, and low amber light fell over everything from the side table lamp. It radiated coziness and warmth; he felt the last bits of his exhaustion settle into contentment. “Wow.”

Remus beamed at him. “Do you like it?”

“I love it.” He cupped his face in his hands and nudged their noses together. “And I love you. So much. I’m going to go rinse off and change, but can we cuddle afterward?”

“What do you think this is for?” Remus teased. “You took my sweatshirt.”

“It’s too big for you anyway.”

“How long until I find it in my laundry pile because it doesn’t smell like me anymore?”

Sirius pretended to think for a moment, though he couldn’t keep his smile down as happiness bubbled through every vein. “Tomorrow.”

“Go take your shower,” Remus laughed, then kissed him once again. “I’ll see if I have anything else that’ll fit you.”

[swtki]

Worries - Edward Cullen x Fem reader

Request: 

Happy birthday!!! I hope you have a wonderful day xox 1 & 9 please? They can be separate or together, whatever your creativity decides <3 

A/N: Thanks :), since you didn’t leave a character, I am going to use Edward Cullen. I rarely write for him so its time I do him justice. 

1. “You’ve always looked lovely in lavender”

9. “Get used to it, because its part of a package deal.”

WARNINGS: just angst mostly, fluff and swearing

SUMMARY: Y/N is unsure of her relationship with Edward, making her question if getting attached is the right thing for her to do. He won’t let her ignore his feelings for her. 

Until I had met Edward, I hated routine. The same day to day activities that dwell on meaningless little life activities. Same school, same small fucked up town. In a way, I thought a constant change was perfect. 

But then I met Edward, and suddenly I never wanted any change. I don’t want him to change, I don’t want him to be here Monday, gone on Tuesday. Maybe that’s selfish, and I know I would eventually go on, but I don’t want to. 

The day we met, I was sitting in the library, my face hidden behind a book. He walked over to my table, asking if he could take a seat next to me. 

“Please,” I said, pulling my bag off the chair. “You’re welcome to sit here, though the bell rings in seven minutes.” He pulled his lips into a tight grinned smile, making a smooth movement to sit down. Within a second, he mumbled something.

“Sorry? Did you say something?” He was looking down, I could tell he wasn’t sleeping. Suddenly, his golden eyes made contact with mine.

“I said, your sweater is quite nice.” I quickly looked down at my sweater, a lavender color, made of thick cotton. I mumbled a quick ‘thanks’ and went back to my book.

“You’ve always looked lovely in lavender” Edward wraps his arms around me from behind, pulling me out of my day-dream. “If I remember right, you weren’t too fond of my small talk.” I lean my head back into his cool neck, feeling the soles of my sneakers sink into the permanently wet grass in the courtyard.

“No, but I’m also not fond of you intruding on my inner monologue. When did you get here?” I ask, turning to face my boyfriend. 

“Here? I’ve been at school all day. How come you weren’t in biology today?” Edward puts a strand of hair behind my ear, I look away quickly.

“I was busy, hadn’t seen you all day so I thought you weren’t here. Skipped in the library.” I’m never good at this, explaining myself to him. I don’t push as to why I didn’t see him at lunch, I figure maybe his sibling had a moment or something.

I’m not as warm as Edward, never have been. It’s always been ironic, to me at least. I’m afraid of fucking up, he never worries about fucking me up because he can read my mind. He always knows what I want, what I need. But on my side, if I ever have any doubts, I have no idea what he needs. 

He’s looking at me with confusion, he knows. Before he can say anything, I kiss his cheek, giving him a quick smile before I turn and start walking to my car. I know that as I walk, he’ll still be hearing my thoughts, but he won’t be able to get clarification. Sure, I know that's not fair, but I just can’t be prodded and analyzed at this moment. 

My drive home is boring, I can’t block out the thoughts in my head. Tears spill out of my eyes as I think about the times he’s disappeared.  I was so afraid this morning he had gone without a trace, left me like how he did during the first month of our relationship in tenth grade. Didn’t even have the fucking curtesy to break up with me, tell me why he had up and left for two weeks. No calls, emails, nothing. Then he just came back, as if nothing happened. We did make up, I was head over heels and once he told me the only alternative was my murder, I couldn’t be mad any longer. These disappearances would happen over the summer, occasional calls were all I got.  

I understand why they left, and truthfully I’m not too mad at them. But, I am mad that every time I don’t see him in the halls, I get scared. And when I get scared, he just can’t understand. By the time I get into my house, the tears have almost run their course, leaving my cheeks flushed and my breathing hitched. 

The door in my room opens with a creek, as per usual fashion, I throw my school shit on my floor and strip. My Mom is at work, leaving me alone in the house. 

Showers possess the ability to wash away more than dirt. Usually, a half hour in the shower resets me. But when I wipe away the steam on my mirror, my eyes are still wet with a fresh glaze. I feel like absolute shit. Like my entire world can crumble as soon as this bathroom door opens. 

As I open my bedroom door, I’m startled as I see Edward outside my window. His head was pressed against the glass, his eyes closed. He’s thinking. Putting my hand at the point where my towel is tucked in, I open the window lock, and slide it up. Edward slips inside my room, and sits on my bed. 

I pay him no mind for a good two minutes. Turning my back to pull out my clothing from my drawers.

“So, you’re going to what...avoid me, avoid the problem, avoid the fact I know you’re afraid of me leaving?” He says quietly.

“Yeah well, I figured you would avoid telling me wherever the fuck you were today during lunch.” I pulled my teeshirt over my head.

“Y/N just listen, I know you’re scared. I know I should call more, look,” he lifts his phone up to me, with my contact on speed dial. A small gesture, but one that says he plans to follow through. “I’m trying to do better. I’m never going to up and leave for longer than a school day. I promise.” He stands up, hooking his arms around my waist.

“Still,” I mumble, leaning into his arms. “Where even were you today?”

“Out,” he pulls out a small box, “I was out, getting this.” I grasp the box, opening  with a bright smile on my face. It was a simple silver necklace, with a medium sized locket on it. The photo in it was of us on the night we first kissed. Now, my eyes fill with happy tears. I give him a passionate kiss.

“Why do you always have to not only make the problem, but solve it too?” He laughs at my words. 

  “Get used to it, because its part of a package deal.”