#& CRACK

[maxtermind]

how your f1 boyfriend reacts to cheating rumors

( texts masterlist \ main masterlist \ drop a request ) ★: feat :: max verstappen, lewis hamilton, carlos sainz, charles leclerc, lando norris, oscar piastri ★ : genre :: crack ★ : a/n :: was supposed to start posting the carlos series from next week but i want to sit on it a lil bit more </3 ★ : requested :: yes

©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.

[fanaticalthings]

Most children, once they've grown up and moved out, sometimes come back to visit their parents to use their house as a sort of personal grocery store

And with Bruce being a literal billionaire whose house is always stocked with food and supplies, the batkids (that aren't living in the manor) definitely visit just for the purpose of taking shit for themselves.

---

For Dick, it's just small things, food and maybe some utensils. Bruce is barely in the kitchen so he never notices dishes go missing, and there are like 10 other children in his house so literally any one of the younger kids could've stolen food in the middle of the night, so he doesn't bat an eye at all.

Babs probably steals Bruce's hardware or his tools from the batcave. Sometimes, if she's nice, she'll leave a note.

Steph probably takes shit that no one will notice at the time but will absolutely be annoyed about when they need said thing. Stapler, soap bars, the microwave plate, etc...(Taking after Jason, she steals the hub caps off the batmobile's tires)

However, for Jason, once his relationship with Bruce is somewhat decent, of course he's gonna be petty and start stealing the more expensive shit in the manor for his apartment. Jason's microwave is broken? The next day, the cave's self-made and enhanced microwave made by Bruce for convenience is just gone.

Jason's feeling a coffee maker for his place? The one in Bruce's study disappears, too.

---

At first, Bruce thinks he's just sleep deprived, but then much bigger things start to go missing, like the whole TV and couch set in the living room. He assumes the younger kids are just playing pranks on him (sounds like something Stephanie would do) but then Bruce notices that the thief deliberately avoids stealing things from the kitchen, which is where Alfred is most of the time, and suddenly Bruce has an irritated clue on who the culprit is.

At first, he doesn't say anything, until one day he comes back, tired from a patrol, and is about to log in all the info on the computer only to realize his batchair is gone. That's when he texts Jason a blunt "If you really need things for your place, you can just ask me. I'll buy them for you." (As if Jason himself isn't loaded from his totally legal activities)

---

So now Jason's pettiness levels increase tenfold, and oh, wouldn't you look at it, his bike needs some new tires, and he knows a great place to get some more.

One night, Bruce is just blearily getting up for a late night snack, only to see Damian scamper away with a...lamp? So Bruce immediately follows him into the foyer only to see ALL of his kids (sans the ones not living in the manor), trying to haul two arm chairs out the window, and they just stop dead silent to stare at him until someone whispers a nervous "Crap"

Bruce doesn't even have any energy to fight, he just pinches his nose and is all "What is the meaning of this" in his tired dad voice. And Duke meekly responds with "we wanted more chairs at Jason's place"

And suddenly it all makes sense. Not once did Bruce wonder how the HELL Jason managed to lug a whole 60in TV and a full couch set on his own in one night. Of course, he had accomplices. Bruce just turns right around and goes right the hell back to his room to sleep. He'll deal with this in the morning.

[thegoldencontracts]

Jumpscaring The Dormheads

Riddle yelps like a little girl. His reaction is funny... Except for the part where he collars you out of shock. However, after his overblot, he did realize the cruelty of his Unique Magic, so he's extremely apologetic after he finishes his long-winded lecture. Why did you scare him like that? It's immature! Look what he's done to you! It's honestly hilarious. He swears you to secrecy afterwards, of course.

Leona is almost impossible to jumpscare. Seriously. Most of the time, he'll immediately catch on. However, the keyword here is almost. With the right preparation, and a lot of luck - I mean a lot - you might just be able to catch him off-guard. The reaction is priceless. He jumps up like a kitten. The sight will forever be ingrained in your memory.

Azul cannot restrain his octopus instincts. Yes, indeed, his wary, sensitive nature takes over against his will, and... He punches you. Hard. As funny as the shriek he let out was and forever will be, was it really worth it? He's terribly mortified afterwards, after all, decking someone doesn't exactly fall in line with the gentlemanly image he wishes to create. He sits you down and works out a Non-disclosure agreement. You're laughing despite the pain.

Kalim is one of the worst people to jumpscare. He's dealt with kidnappings before, and because of it, his defensive instincts have grown strong. Doing such a thing is just asking to find out how good Kalim's martial arts skills really are. He might just tell you this outright, with a little smile you'd expect from someone sharing a mere funny anecdote. But the way his eyes glaze over, lifeless, almost, says it all.

Vil is merely annoyed. Although it's usually quite difficult to jumpscare him in the first place, his reaction is still funny. He thinks it's rather foolish of you, though, chastising you. What if he'd been someone with quick reflexes and decked you? What if he'd accidentally cast a spell on you? There's simply too many risks. His reaction was still funny, though. Not everyone gets to see Vil Schoenheit himself scream like a little kid.

Idia is extremely jumpy. Why would you do this to him? His heart's beating so fast it's insane! After recovering from his own shock, after the last of his wheezing pants in a desperate attempt to regain his breath, Idia goes on a tangent about how stupid the normie phenomenon of jumpscaring is.

Malleus is shocked. You? Managed to scare him? It's a bit of a blow to his pride, in all honesty. Even Lilia often failed, after all! But despite his indignation, he is rather fascinated. Considering how amusing the whole thing seemed to you... perhaps Lilia was correct about the entertainment value of jumpscares. He'll have to try this out. Poor Sebek's on the verge of a heart attack from Malleus's coming up behind him and saying 'Boo'.

[makuzume]

HIIII !! I have abrequest but first

I want to say i absolutely ADORE your work, and you write the characters so well it's actually insane

I dont like to make requests cuz it feels selfish but my bday is tmrw and I would die for a bday smau of the jjk men (esp my husband nanami)

if you can't, that's totally fine by me!! plz take care of yourself and stay healthy 🫂

JJK Men with a Failed Birthday Surprise!🎉 SMAU

🔅characters: Nanami, Gojo, Ino

🔅content: gn!reader; light crack; cursing; implied relationship

🔅a/n: Got this on June 3, belated happy birthday!🥳 Sorry this was late, take care of urself as well *sploppy messy ahh smooch smooch* Tried to make Nanami a lil cuter for you by making him go in bit of a panic

[JJK Masterlist] [Megumi and others soon...]

🔅Kento Nanami🔅

🔅Satoru Gojo🔅

🔅Takuma Ino🔅

tags list: @zhenyuuu @megumisdivinedogs

a/n: Trippy ahh mistakes and spelling errors I have to draw over on the screenshots and upload to drive and go on my pc to edit this post aaa but I can't wait until tomorrow to upload this it has to be NOW I am impatient

Credits to @makuzume on Tumblr || Do not steal, translate, modify, reupload my works on any platform.

[mediocre-stoned-dragon]

“It is illegal to lie to your king, Merlin!”

A flustered King Arthur stood up; huffing, he pushed his palms into the wooden table. His hair was a mess, an afterthought of a late morning. He blew on his bangs in an attempt to get them out of his face. His glare was pointed at none other than his doting husband, an equally irate sorcerer, who had also had too little sleep and too little time to get dressed.

His aforementioned doting husband, Merlin, crossed his arms, puffing up his chest. Many years ago, one may have been fooled into thinking him a twink. Now, he had developed into a fit young man- and Arthur’s eyes were twitching with the instinct to admire the swell of his chest- or his neck, which was on display. The slut decided to forego his neckerchief at a council meeting? How was he supposed to pay attention-?

Neither of them would be so angry if someone hadn’t decided to be romantic, and irresponsible, and wax poetic about the luxuries of sensuality and whatever nonsense had put his dick on a soapbox-

They’d only been married for two months.

“Arrest me then, my lord.”

The grand populace of Camelot had by now determined that whenever Merlin said ‘my lord’, he surely meant it in the most derogatory and insulting manner one could possibly imbue a title, and so had Arthur. Miraculously, it appeared even the dullest of men could learn.

Our king flushed red, shaking as if preparing to launch himself across the table. Once he got to Merlin? Well, a king doesn’t give up his battle tactics.

Sir Gwaine whistled low, seated haphazardly on a chair, leaned back so as to rest his weight on a pillar. This was his favourite part of these meetings.

“That’s kinky,” he commented, helpfully. It was, decidedly, kinky, given Arthur’s mind had immediately gone to the gutter. Some of the older council members turned to the knight, their mouths agape.

Sir Leon, in all his ancient glory, was one of them. He turned immediately back to the royal couple.

“Everyone, please,” he held out his open hands, “Can we let Lord Ermit continue with the tax accounts?”

[thegorb-irl]

Yeah my friend sparked real inspiration with this one

[wangxianficrecs]

you gotta help me; i'm losing my mind by livinginaworldofnoise

you gotta help me; i’m losing my mind

by livinginaworldofnoise (@gh0st-0f-luke)

G, 3k, Wangxian

Summary: r/relationship_advice @ HanguangJun I noticed that my coworker’s boyfriend seems more interested in me than in her. How should I bring this up? r/relationship_advice @ demonicgrandmaster how do i seduce someone who can’t take a hint?????? OR: reddit is not the best place for advice Kay's comments: I'm always so delighted when I come across a well-done Reddit AU and this one was so much fun! We have Lan Wangji asking reddit for advise since he thinks his co-workers boyfriend is flirting with him and he doesn't want there to be any office drama. We have Wei Wuxian asking for advice since the guy he's been flirting with, his roommates co-worker, seems to be incredibly dense, and we have Mianmian, who's just so. tired. It was so much fun to read and the format was excellently used. Excerpt: r/relationship_advice @ HanguangJun Update: My coworker’s boyfriend showed up to the office when she was not there and proceeded to spend the entire afternoon at my desk. Should I talk to her? This is an update to my previous post. As the title describes, my coworker’s boyfriend pulled up a chair next to my desk and would not leave despite my repeated requests for him to. My coworker is at a conference this whole week, so there was no reason for him to be here. I believe this is an excessive amount of interest for him to be showing in someone other than his girlfriend, so I am seeking advice on how to discuss this matter with her despite suggestions to the contrary on my prior post.

pov outsider, modern setting, modern no powers, reddit au, aita, relationship advice, office drama, social media, crack, crack treated seriously, humor, misunderstandings, miscommunication, mutual pining, oblivious lan wangji, getting together, developing relationship, first date

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[crybabycunt]

Kate: If I went missing, you'd look for me, right?

Clint: I wouldn't have to. Yelena has you microchipped.

[t4kalcvr]

VAMOS A BAILAR — k. tsukishima smau

LEADS : tsukishima x part hispanic!fem reader

SYNOPSIS : after being invited (forced) to their school first track meet of the season by hinata and nishinoya, tsukishima begins to wonder when did they even have a track team ? and how did he not know about the schools track star ? and after judging her little habits, does he get a taste of the spice in her life.

GENRE : fluff, comedy, romance

FEATURING : nishinoya, hinata, kageyama, sugawara, tanaka, yamaguchi, yaku, suna, akaashi, bokuto, kenma, && kuroo

WARNINGS : profanity, nothing else ??? lmk

STATUS : upcoming

TAGLIST (OPEN) : @mjustag1rl @ast4rg1rl @empress-pug-pug @softpia @yuminako

NETFLIX PROFILES . gossip gurls ₊˚ෆ silly sausages

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ TRAILER ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

SEASON I

EP 1 … COMING SOON

EP 2 … COMING SOON

EP 3 … COMING SOON

EP 4 … COMING SOON

EP 5 … COMING SOON

EP 6 … COMING SOON

EP 7 … COMING SOON

EP 8 … COMING SOON

EP 9 … COMING SOON

EP 10 … COMING SOON

EP 11 … COMING SOON

EP 12 … COMING SOON

SEASON ll COMING SOON !!

copyright © t4kalcvr 2024 all rights reserved

[iamnmbr3]

ok but you know james absolutely lost it when he found out that sirius black turns into a black dog. when they finally finished the animagus process sirius probably kept mumbling and wouldn't even tell him what his animagus form was revealed as at first bc he knew james was going to spend the next month ribbing him over it

[hannibard]

Geralt: you're beautiful

Jaskier:

Jaskier: witcher eyesight mustn't be as good as the rumors say because it took you over 20 years to notice

[thecreatureinyourcloset]

First year incorrect quotes

[cilil]

I love the part where Melkor gets these "bad vibes" from Turgon all the way back in Valinor, with the implication being that this is because Eärendil will be born into his line later and start the War of Wrath and all that.

So I take it Melkor was like... having an adverse reaction to Turgon's balls? Or what's inside?

[thegoldencontracts]

My take on how the Fandom views neige T_T

[makuzume]

JJK Characters as Your Filipino Delivery Rider🇵🇭

🔅characters: Ino, Nanami, Shoko, Gojo, Sukuna, Uraume

🔅content: crack!; gn!reader; Filipino language; they text you so they can deliver your parcel

🔅a/n: tricky to imagine them speaking Tagalog but wtv FILO PRIDE LET'S GOO HAHAHA (pretend the contact is blank, this is to avoid confusion while reading)

[JJK Masterlist] [Others?? Soon maybe?]

🔅Takuma Ino🔅

🔅Kento Nanami🔅

🔅Shoko Ieiri🔅

🔅Satoru Gojo🔅

🔅Sukuna Ryomen🔅

🔅Uraume🔅

Credits to @makuzume on Tumblr || Do not steal, translate, modify, reupload my works on any platform.

[luciathcv]

the exchange student - nmr | seven: y/n's first date

summary: y/n's family (aka her mom and her) host a foreign exchange student for the school year, that exchange student being nishimura riki from japan.

taglist: @yangjungwonnie @kjdhdjkfyk @yoonzns @lukesboo @nan-lzzn @ae-hnir @illvding @mnxnii @yvjw @jiamini @soobs-things @ashtxrie @yourssincerely-mimi @sophi-ee @im-yn-suckers @rikisgeef @anormieee @taehyuniesworld @wony1e (lmk if you want to join)

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