pointless-letters

[pointless-letters]

55th anniversary of the biggest event in human history….and the moon landing, of course!

One of the best letters I’ve ever seen just popped up on my Facebook memories. Still makes me laugh.

[pointless-letters]

Daily Express readers having a completely normal and in no way absolutely bananas reaction to the General Election result

[pointless-letters]

“Children should be shielded from certain concepts.” says Kate, about said children potentially attending a show that is *checks notes* all about the power of love and the acceptance of others.

[pointless-letters]

NARRATOR: Doug was shocked when someone explained to him that we do, in fact, have new elections every few years just in case people have changed their minds about things.

[pointless-letters]

“Me Janet no like big words.”

[pointless-letters]

“If you haven’t had a job for six months? Conscription. Looked at me funny in the street? Conscription. Speaking with your mouth full? Conscription. Wearing an outfit I think is too revealing? Conscription. Farting? Conscription.”

[pointless-letters]

And that’s a problem…why?

[pointless-letters]

Do you brie-lieve in love at first sight?

[pointless-letters]

I’m willing to bet £10 right now that if any of those schoolchildren had talked to one another, Sue’s letter would have been about how noisy and unruly kids are these days.

[pointless-letters]

“Who says I can’t say that?” asks Phillip, immediately after saying his daughters told him he couldn’t say that.

[pointless-letters]

“Nobody seems to think reality matters anymore.” says Karen, complaining about what she sees as a lack of realism in…*checks notes*…Doctor Who.

[pointless-letters]

PEAK TELEGRAPH: “I don’t think that I should be receiving these things from the state - which, of course, I accept - when I don’t need them. I also think that people who do need them shouldn’t get them either.”

[pointless-letters]

REASONS WHY BRITAIN IS TOTALLY RUINED THESE DAYS, NUMBER 33,596: “Beards.”

[pointless-letters]

You could take the total area of the inside of 10,000 Dyson spheres, multiply that by 20 every minute of every day for 500 years, and still not come close to half of the sheer amount of square footage that Meghan Markle occupies, entirely rent free, in the brains of these absolute headbangers.

[pointless-letters]

“I agree with Maggie.” said Mrs Bunty Twelvetrees (81) today. “Whenever I go somewhere and offer an innocent comment on the rights of British natives and indigenous people, I’m made to feel unwelcome. What happened to free speech, eh?”

“I blame the coloureds.” she added later.

[pointless-letters]

“Multi culteral”

[pointless-letters]

Happy eighth anniversary to this absolute classic

“…but he’s right there, Vera!”

“JUST HURRY UP BRIAN!”