#Them’s the rules

[pointless-letters]

“I have gay friends.”

[gravitysaint]

okay okay okay, i’m on my premium bullshit today. take a seat and grab a coffee because this is gonna be a long one

i have a theory for the Magnus Protocol, and I am so not normal about it that I need to rant. Spoilers ahead for literally any part of the show from ep. 1 to ep. 23

Okay so, with this latest case, i think the supernatural shenanigans of Protocol have less to do with the Fears and more to do with self-image and identity

A bunch of cases have been about this—I won’t go on about all of them, just a few that i think either really point towards this or that i think can be seen as decently convincing when looked at another way.

The most obvious ones, to me, are Episodes 2, 16, and 23.

In 2, ‘Making Adjustments,’ the artist is literally reshaping herself to fit with her image of her “ideal self.” She’s pushing the ���her” she wants to be out into the real world. It doesn’t escape my notice that Ink5oul is involved—don’t worry, I have words about them later.

In 16, ‘Anti-Social,’ Madam E (another Ink5oul victim/canvas) becomes wrapped up in her online identity and image—comments physically affect them, and when those turn into a stream of hate… well, it breaks her heart.

In 23, ‘A New You,’ I barely feel like I need to explain. The whole case is Alesis pursuing and following through with a means to become her ideal self. She goes through the entire process willingly and with the express intent to become the person she wishes she could be.

As for the ones that will need some more explaining, I’m mainly thinking of 10 and 13.

‘Saturday Night’ reveals everyone’s favourite children’s mascot/government hitman, Mr. Bonzo, and gives some background on him. Mr. Bonzo was a gag character in Nigel’s late night show. Not only did someone in a Bonzo costume do some murdering, but… Bonzo himself took over Nigel’s show and ‘imprisonment’ in the comedy dungeon due to his popularity. Perhaps this sort of thing got to Nigel, and he saw his life—because the show did seem to be his life’s work—being taken over by the mascot, and then saw that same mascot with blood on his hands. Perhaps Nigel made a monster out of Bonzo in his head, and that monster was made manifest… somehow. Or maybe some kid who loved and idolised Bonzo saw the murders and felt like a monster themselves, spiralling until they became Bonzo a la Episode 23, then attached themselves to Nigel because, well… Nigel and Bonzo were always together.

‘Futures’ is a bit simpler, I think. Darrien wanted to be rich again. He saw himself as “one of the elite,” as evidenced by his attitude and the company he kept when his experience started. His desire and ideal of richness lead to him throwing himself into worse and worse situations for more and more money… until, i think, he realised he needed to stop. He realised that his life had just turned into destroying himself for money, and he was ready to stop that… so he stopped seeing himself as “someone doing whatever it takes to get rich” and instead saw himself as “someone destroying themselves.” And the money stopped, just like that.

Now, for Ink5oul and alchemy. Every Magnus Institute case (the ones from their records/research, anyways), has mentioned the terms “subject,” “agent,” and “catalyst.”

These terms are pretty generic, but we pretty much know the Institute was deep in alchemy, and alchemy is, in essence, the art/science of transformations.

Transformations based on self-image and identity, perhaps.

The subject is what changes (Madam E, Daria, Alesis). The catalyst is what starts/actualises/accelerates the change (Ink5oul’s tattoos, Alesis’s “piece”). The agent is what sets things in motion to change in the first place (Ink5oul is the current main example of this).

This is already really long and I’m basically just rambling at this point, so I’ll stop. This could be the most surface-level take or a complete swing and a miss, but I like thinking about things like this, so oh well

[cecesreign]

Btw, the shyest girls are always the more slutty ones

Them’s the rules. I don’t make them, I just follow them

[teecupangel]

A/b/o DesMal?? (Desmond x malik)

Okay, so this could be set in a Modern Day AU or Desmond gets booted into the Third Crusades but here are some of the things that would happen:

Desmond would obviously be mistaken for Altaïr unless they get closer and sniff him. That’s why, as weird as it sounds, anytime Desmond is mistaken for Altaïr, he just sighs and says “Come closer and sniff me”. There’s a lot of different reaction to that one.

We can go for the route of Altaïr and Desmond are twins or cousins. Or we can go for the route of they’re not related and this is a quirk of fates or some shit. (Even in the case of Desmond getting booted into the Third Crusades, Desmond would have to pick one of those choices because saying “he’s my ancestor and I’m a time traveler.” isn’t really an option)

Malik is one of the few people who can differentiate the two without having to sniff (Desmond) or be glared at (Altaïr). He doesn’t say it but that’s because he can always smell Desmond’s scent even before he should be close enough for Malik to see him.

Desmond smells like freshly baked sweet bread to Malik.

Malik smells like cotton candy to Desmond. He can’t really explain it but it’s not that Malik smells like real cotton candy but that’s the image that pops into Desmond’s mind when he catches Malik’s scent.

Malik isn’t an idiot, he knows this could only mean that he and Desmond were highly compatible and Desmond hasn’t been that subtle in checking if Malik was interested in him. Definitely not subtle enough since Altaïr could see it and would always have that pinched look on his face before leaving the room Desmond and Malik were in without even saying goodbye (which is rude).

He is also very much interested in Desmond, it’s just… he didn’t expect to actually find a mate himself. He had been uninterested for as long as he could remember and he had accepted that his younger brother would be the one to carry the Al-Sayf line (Although, really, he wished Kadar wasn’t so smitten by Altaïr of all alphas) so it takes a bit for him to accept that, yes, he and Desmond are compatible and, yes, the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea of being mates with Desmond.

Fated mates sorta exist in this idea in the sense that it’s a legend and there have not been any real records of it. The general consensus is that it’s more of the case of ‘you are fated mates because you both fell in love with one another and your scents are compatible’

Desmond would be moping during that time Malik is sorting his feelings since he’d take Malik’s silence as rejection and Altaïr has to be the one to suffer smelling the sadness from Desmond.

So when Malik started courting Desmond (all proper and traditional, complete with a mated chaperone in the form of Rauf (if this is during the Third Crusades) or maybe someone like Bayek or Ezio (if this is a modern day AU)), his biggest wall is now the fact that Desmond believed he’s courting him because Malik noticed him ‘moping’ and felt bad so this is… a pity-courting thing.

Malik should be offended but he knows he fucked up by being silent and it was such a dumb move that an idiot like Altaïr would have done (cue Altaïr’s offended face in the background as he snarks that he would have gone at full speed if it had been him, shut up Altaïr that's not any better!)

So now Malik has to show Desmond that he’s being sincere and that he wants a future with Desmond. Maybe even have a scene where it all comes to head and Malik blurts out how many kids he wants and Kadar is in the background just going “back it, brother! Too far!!!” but, jokes on them, Desmond is into that XD

So… I’ve been quite vague on whether they’re alphas/betas/omegas. The main reason is because I think this could work with any kind of combination you want and, honestly, Desmond and Malik could be alphas, betas or omegas if you want. I will say that I made Altaïr an alpha because part of the setup is that Altaïr is going to make Malik’s life a bit harder because he kinda adopted Desmond as his sorta sibling (if they’re not actual siblings in the setup)/child and the shit Malik did definitely deserves some sort of metaphorical punching. Kadar can be a/b/o, your choice. Also, just because Malik is the one courting doesn’t mean he can’t bottom if you want. That’s also the reason why their a/b/o status is vague.

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

no blaming the housing shortage on capitalism until you first condemn the open border and sanctuary cities

[bvnnyjo]

dash is so horny but it’s 2am so i must go to sleep

[hurdy-girly]

Me, looking at one of my characters who previously was a joke but now needs to be able to uphold plot relevance:

[eventheodds]

meryl has an undercut and it’s smooth and if you run your hands along the shaved part of her head she will melt

[wurm-food]

I must be the whimsical looking bitch in the county clerk’s office otherwise I will not go

[the-homosphere]

you can only eat doritos if you say “no homo” beforehand

-@veganicsproutedancientmaizelia

[egophiliac]

looking at next month's schedule and between the end of 7-12 and the wishing lantern event it's like

February is officially RIDDLE MONTH, brace yourselves to be absolutely blasted into ashes everybody

[worshipping-marvel-jesus]

Why does this always happen to me.

I see a meme and go, “oh, haha! That is very relatable. Happens to me all the time lol, silly me-“

and then I see the tags or description, discussing AuDHD or autism, or ADHD etc.

You guys are doing this on purpose, I swear to god.

I’m not autistic. I don’t have AuDHD. I’m just a little weird and stupid. And forgetful. And distracted. BUT IM NEUROTYPICAL I SWEAR.

It has to be here somewhere…

Funny ADHD ASD Memes

[orionfrommars]

More Elita and Bee bc I love them very much

I was also inspired by @crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington overly emotional optimus ♡

[Please do not steal, trace, repost or modify my work]

[buttdumplin]

yeah simon is the one to scare people away when they get too close you, using his size and movement to intimidate, simultaneously shielding you behind him

yeah soap is the one barking loud, creating a spectacle and calling people out, and warning them away

yeah kyle is the one humiliating people, mocking offenders until either their own actions dawn on them or they finally recognize the venom in his eyes

but price is the one that launches into swinging. there is no warning, no hesitation. taking a step, even a single word against you, warrants immediate action in his mind. it's no laughing fucking matter. you are a top fucking prize, his prize, the best the world has to offer. john is rabid in his protection, bearing tooth and boot and claw and fist. there’s no point in talking to him or trying to negotiate, an offense is an offense and he won’t meet it halfway. someone looks at you the wrong way? they won't be able to see out of swollen eyes after headbutts them, crushing their nose. someone whispers something nasty about you? good luck even eating with that jaw wired shut. god forbid someone touches you, the other three boys can barely hold him back. john will break countless bones in every way he knows and beat his knuckles bloody if your smile starts to drop. 

[tmorriscode]

This is the CSI episode. There will be 3 famous guest stars. One of them will be the killer. Can we figure it out before our crack team of investigators?

THERES NO FUCKING WAY THEY GOT JACK BLACK, CHRISTOPHER LLOYD AND LIZZO IN THE MANDALORIAN 

[friendlylemonade]

Me irl: *jokingly* I’m autistic!

Me irl friends: yeah, we know

Me irl: what?