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Sirius: That’s a cool rock

James: Thanks! Lily gave it to me!

Lily: I threw it at you

James: She’s super nice!

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Bellatrix: I have been told by many people that I ‘light up a room’

Snape: Bella, that was arson, and those were witnesses

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hogwarts groupchat

Ron changed Ginny Weasley’s username to Useless Lesbian

Harry changed Useless Lesbian’s username to Useful Lesbian

Harry: Appreciate her, you cowards

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Bellatrix: Guys, Halloween isn’t a date on the calendar.

Lucius: Yeah it is. It’s the 31st.

Bellatrix: No, Halloween is in your hearts. Every time a little kid cries in fear that’s Halloween. As long as you carry the sprit of destruction and vandalism in your hearts, everyday is Halloween.

Lucius, pointing to a calendar: No, look, it’s the 31st.

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Remus: It’s so frustrating.

Sirius: What is?

Remus: How Regulus keeps dropping such obvious hints that he’s into James and he’s completely oblivious.

Sirius, wearing a “please date me, Remus” shirt: Haha yeah.

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when Harry finally takes Draco to dinner with his friends:

Harry: This food is too hot, I can’t eat it

Luna:

Ginny:

Draco: You’re hot and I still eat y-

Ron: ONE DINNER

Hermione: There it is...

Ron, flipping the table: ONE PEACEFUL DINNER IS ALL I ASK

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not sure if youve read it but i really recommend this dramione oneshot called 'anniversary arrangemenst' i just read it and i think this is the most i have laughed in weeks???

OMFG YES MY DRAMIONE HEART MELTED AFTER READING THIS ONE😩 for anybody who's interested, the author is scarlettcat btw <333

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Draco: I’m an idiot

Pansy:

Blaise:

Theo:

Draco:

Pansy: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is gonna be a long day.

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Hermione, raising her voice slightly so she can speak to Fred on the other side of the store: Do you want any chips?

Fred screaming at the top of his lungs: I AM ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS

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Fred and George: guess which number we’re thinking of

Ron: 420?

Fred: no. that was very immature of you. 

George: someone else guess and please take this seriously.

Ginny: 69

Fred and George: yeah, it was 69

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Draco: Mother, how do I get revenge?

Cissy: The best revenge is living well and moving on!

Draco:

Draco: Aunt Bellatrix, how do I-

Bella: Knife.

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Harry: You shouldn’t be using a straw.

Ron: Yeah Yeah, its bad for the environment and stuff. Whatever.

Harry: No, it’s just a really weird way to eat spaghetti.

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for my fellow mha simps, imagine how much todoroki would love it when you sing snowman by sia to him 🎶i want you to know that i am never leaving, cause i am mrs. snow till death we’ll be freezing, yeah you are my home, my home for all seasons🎶 while you guys are cuddling and his head is resting on your chest while you thread you fingers through his hair and ughhhhh this is too adorable i gotta go

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you know it wasn’t until recently that i started believing in the quote: “if someone seems too good to be true, they are” and fictional characters prove this everyday😀🔫

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ron: no one likes a know-it-all

harry: you’re married to one

ron: 

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Draco Trying To Be Emo

“this coffee is bitter *looks into the camera like in the office* like my soul”

[Going through his closet] “i need something black....like my soul”

“shit its cold outside......like my soul”

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Hermione: Ron! Wake up!

Ron: 5 more minutes

Hermione: You’ve been in a coma for 2 years!

Ron: ok...2 more minutes