#zero is me
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Happy Selfship Valentine's Day from Zero & Kraken!
#lovecore#transformers#maccadam#transformers oc#cybertronian oc#selfship#selfshipper#selfship community#platonic selfship#valentines day 2023#kracked heart#oc: kraken#persona: zero#zero is me#my art#selfship comic#Youtube
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anyone else ever wish they could lie down harder? Like, I'm already horizontal, but I need more horizontal. I need to be absorbed by the floor. I think that would fix me
#My orthostatic tolerance is currently zero#POTS#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#me/cfs#fibromyalgia#chronic illness#disability#migraine#gastroparesis#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#chronic fatigue syndrome#myalgic encephalomyelitis#spoonie#mast cell activation syndrome#MCAS#dysautonomia#chronic migraine#joint pain#hEDS#ehlers danlos syndrome#hypermobility#hypermobile ehlers danlos#interstitial cystitis
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"You'd be living in a castle with food and medicine and trained squirrels to tend to your every need."
bonus ver w/o text and extra doodle:
#i can't believe i zeroed in on ice marceline in ep6 and literally nothing else#their situation intrigues me what the hell happened we will never know#adventure time#fionna and cake#simon petrikov#marceline abadeer#the winter king#fanart#digital art#my art
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People who try to analyze what happened on Tumblr on November 5th, 2020, often really overstate how much it was actually “about” Supernatural. As someone who has never been in the supernatural fandom ever but dID join in on the hysterical destielposting—it was really more about the stress of the pandemic and the 2020 presidential election.
The two biggest Youtubers I’ve seen try to dissect “what happened that November 5th” in video essays both weren’t American—- and I think that explains why they both tried to explain the hysteria primarily via analyzing the Supernatural fandom/the original show, rather than through the lens of the election. And while those videos are cool, valid, informational, and make lots of really well-considered interesting points— I can tell you that me and almost all my mutuals had literally no knowledge or interest in the fact that “oh supernatural had made nods at the ship in the past but the creators were adamant that I wouldn’t be canon” or etc etc etc etc. the first time I learned about any of that context was way later, watching videos where people claimed that fandom history context (that I did not know anything about) was the actual reason for the hysteria.
But the reality is that people latched on to the Destiel stuff because it was a piece of big useless inane zero-stakes fandom news in a time when we were desperately waiting for serious high stakes election news. We were latching onto a “positive “ piece of inane stupid fandom news in a time of great stress, with all the desperation of a drowning man who latches onto whatever piece of wood will keep him afloat.
The core of the hysteria was that Americans (who make up a huge chunk of tumblr’s userbase) were currently glued to their laptops watching the live presidential election vote counts come in. These vote counts were taking an extended amount of time due to the pandemic causing high numbers of mail-in ballots, resulting in a constant state of Election Day Stress for multiple days straight.
This was also during the height of the Pandemic. People had predicted Trump’s presidency would be bad; no one had predicted it would be this apocalyptically bad. No one had predicted pandemics and lockdowns and hospitals overflowing with bodybags. remember Trump spreading Covid lies and conspiracies?? There were so many Qanon conspiracies about democrats being Satanic child traffickers who had to be put to death, and coup threats were mounting from the right wing side. It seemed like this election was a choice between ‘centrist democrat’ and “apocalyptic right wing conspiracy theory authoritarianism,” in the midst of pandemic conditions that people feared would never ever improve— and it seemed like a close election.
Another major point was that Trump voters were more likely to be antimaskers/Covid deniers, while Biden voters were more likely to take the pandemic seriously— so Biden voters were more likely to send in mail-in ballots instead of risking the in-person voting crowds, which meant their ballots would take much longer to count. And so, in many state electoral vote counts, it would initially seem like Trump was very far in the lead— only for Biden to slooooowly build up an agonizingly small lead as the mail in ballots came in, and then defeat Trump at the very end.
So you’re just watching these news sites giving live election updates, refreshing the page every 2 minutes to see if you’re going to live under a spineless centrist democrat or a literal Qanon Dictatorship. And then you go on tumblr to distract yourself, and there’s more election posting, and more agonizing over the votes, and more stress and despair—-
And then it’s been days and we’re right at the crucial tipping point where it’s anyone’s game and the next few hours will determine whether Trump will win, so you need to keep your eye on the vote count, because the next hours will determine the future of the pandemic and your country and your plans for your entire life—
And then stupid Destiel becomes canon! And it becomes canon in the silliest way possible!
If Destiel had become canon at any other time, it would have been a big goofy tumblr celebration? But we wouldn’t have gotten the insane explosion of hysterical interaction.
The entire core of it was the contrast between the inane meaningless stupidity of fandom news vs the actual stressful election news you wanted to hear! It really is best conveyed in that meme where Castiel says “I love you” and Dean indifferently responds with a piece of important election news.
It’s about the contrast between the low-stakes inanity of fandom and the massive life-destroying stakes of a terrifying election. There really was no reason it had be Supernatural specifically, except that Supernatural was a thing everyone knew basic things about from dashboard osmosis— it could’ve been any other equally huge silly fandom ship news about a ship everyone *knew of* but might not necessarily be invested in (ex. Stucky becoming canon, Johnlock becoming canon, Kirk/Spock becoming more canon somehow, etc etc etc.)
I think it’s true that people who weren’t paying agonizingly close attention to the American election news got swept up in it, and that non American Supernatural fans also were extremely excited for purely fandom reasons — but the entire reason it blew up to an unprecedented degree was because of that core of stressed out terrified Americans glued to their computers watching election results and suddenly receiving stupid fandom news instead, and deciding to just hysterically parodically hyper-celebrate this absurd useless zero-stakes news.
I think it was also all elevated by the fact that, as I said before, this happened at the crucial “tipping point” of the election where the next few hours would determine the winner. The fact that Biden began to slowly develop a lead in the hours after made it feel, hysterically, as if the hours after Destiel became canon was somehow the turning point where he began to win; so celebrating Destiel felt like celebrating that slow turn towards victory.
The tl,dr is that it’s so important to Remember the Fifth of November …..in preparation the inevitable hysteria that will happen in the presidential election on November 5th of next year. XD. Personally I’m rooting for Johnlock or Frodo/Sam to somehow become canon in the eleventh hour right before the democrats win
#November 5th#november 5 2020#the fifth of november#just a random ramble#November 5th 2020 is such an important day to me#it really is a holiday#but it does confuse me when I see people analyzing it primarily as a supernatural thing#instead of a ‘hysteria over an election reaches a breaking point when inane zero stakes fandom news comes out and we all latch onto it’thing#but yeah!!#this is my personal essay out of love for the holiday
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"cis is a slur" i'm completely fine using it that way
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a little game of cat and mouse
#im only a small ways into the zzz story update but the jane seth dynamic. was made in a lab for me. for ME#jane also makes the feminism leave my body she is soo. ooooooooo#SHE IS SO…!!!!!!#and seth the stupidest earnestest catboy in the world… i would do ANYTHING#zenless zone zero#zzz#jane doe#seth lowell#fanart#janeseth
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have realized that while i am not a fan necessarily of "people meet and immediately fall in love" i am a fan of "people meet and are immediately obsessed with each other." the love can come later but the absolute fixation should be immediate
#important text posts#about me#vegaspete and xuexiao in particular come to mind#it's the 'how unhinged does this look from the outside' question maybe#if it just looks like two people hitting it off and being cute together right away then eh not my thing#if it looks like two people who have suddenly zeroed in on each other in a way that makes others go 'oh that doesn't seem good'#i'm there baby
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I love how mqf's oficial description is something like: a good heart who wants to help others but then you read the novel and his reaction to lqg trapping ten infected men who are crying in panic is "great now I can start to work in my experiments with decomposed people to find a cure" and gets out a lot of needles, which makes the man cry even harder.
Even if we only get bits of the other Cang Qiong sect leader's we can reach the conclusion that no one there is normal, sqq is just biased.
#the other sects when they have to invite cang qiong: they're our brothers but for fuck's sake they're so weird#sqq is a drama queen married to the demon lord#lqg is an obsessed fighter with no survival instics#sqh is a spy married to ANOTHER demon that somehow is still in the sect doing taxes#qqq could kill you with a look but she also makes fun of tiny lbh in the extras#you know the emperor#so she has probably zero survival instics too#mqf is one step away from becoming a mad doctor#and they're lead by the n°1 apologizer#i love them let me meet the rest#svsss#scum villain self saving system#mu qingfang#liu qingge#shen qingqiu
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I want to post this here too because I’ve seen it happen a few times
Please understand that there are cultural differences and language differences, if you see this happening let the person clarify what they meant, that person might just not be familiar with words the western side of the internet use
#bearz rambling tag#no it’s not really possible to let everyone who uses this term to change#because as far as I know this is the most common word with use on Chinese websites#I didn’t know that pairing are called ‘ship’ here#like why would I even know that#‘ship’ makes zero sense to me#it took me a while to learn the fandom language people speak here#it’s hard#give people time#shipping culture is very different too#Like on Chinese site you HAVE to clarify the Top and the Bottom of this ship in the ship name#it is very very important to them#people who like the same ship but with different Top Bottom preference will fight till no end#imagine how confused I was when I first got here#where there’s no top bottom differences#it’s not really a smut thing#it’s more a dynamic thing#AxB and BxA is very different#oh I can talk so much about the differences on fandom cultures#if ya are interested in more please feel free to ask#it’s very interesting to me#I wanna talk about it
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actual quotes from my mother, during her first watch of The Owl House
#not pictured: my mom asking me multiple times if Philip was the Titan#when my mom is focused on watching something she has ZERO filter so this stuff just comes out#the owl house#✦ gif sets
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oh yeah here's my self insert
long story on why this is the design but?? there ya go
might add more details but yeah, shadow humanoid thing
#might change some things but yeah just something simple#self insert#my self insert#zero#zero is me#my art#selfshipping#selfship#selfshipper#self ship community
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i feel like we dont talk enough about how distressing and disturbing memory loss issues are. forgetting what you were talking about halfway through a sentence, putting something down and instantly forgetting where you put it. having to reread one paragraph over and over again because by the time youve moved onto the next sentence you dont remember what the one before it said. always doubting if your memories of things are real, not being able to remember important life events.
its so incredibly scary, it feels like your mind is constantly playing tricks on you and you start to doubt whats real and what isnt.
“i forgot” is treated like a lazy excuse when it’s genuinely such a big issue for so many people.
#this has been building up in me for a bit#i was talking to my mom and she brought up a concert we went to and i have zero memory of ever going#huge chunks of my life are just. gone.#every time i sew i put the needle down and spend fifteen minutes trying to find it#memory loss#memory issues#cognitive issues#cognitive decline#cognitive dysfunction
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PHAETHON
#zzz#zenless zone zero#wise#belle#phaethon#*mgif#i think the wise gif was recorded without the color filter on so thats why it looks more saturated??#but i spent like 5 hours just recording both of them because the files kept disappearing#and i cant be bothered to do that all over again#which makes me sad bcs i wanted these to match so bad but i dont have the energy anymore</3#fellow ccs#do you guys record with obs or another recorder#because mine can only go up to 1080p#and i know some can go up to 2k
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They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.
#ra speaks#personal#JOKING.#this is a joke this is a parody of right wing rants regarding social phenomenon they believe to be oppressed by left leaning politics.#but within the perspective of an old fictional hitman.#this is a joke tangentially referencing my fictional hitmen from a fictional story in which no harm comes to career politicians#obviously but also if this gets me on a list o7#fbi agent in my phone I’m a disabled autistic dyke with zero engineering or chemistry background#my skills are best applied to…idk sabatoging national forest harvest regimes? but I’m not doing that they’re neglected enough as is.#edit: oops this is getting notes o/ hiiiii cia agent reading this post <3 a union leader my dad worked w got fucking assassinated#by Pinkertons and y’all didn’t do shit. I hope you have visions of hell and become a nomadic hermit self flagellating in the woods#edit 2: ooooooh there was a pres debate last night. that’s why people care about my two week old joke hitman post. was wondering why.
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sumeru golden trio
#genshin impact#alhaitham#cyno#dehya#why! don’t! they! hang out! anymore!#crime#they are literally the best and genshin just disbanded them for zero reason#you’ll always be famous to me national coup team#plus that funny npc rahman#maybe nilou and candace on the side
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Oh thank gods 🙏😭
#i don't think i could handle losing chetney right now 😥#critical role#critrole#critrole memes#vox machina#grog strongjaw#grogery strongjaw#chetney pock o'pea#travis willingham#d100#triple zero#triple zeros#death roll#protect#protection#cr spoilers#cr memes#cr shitpost#courtesy of me#cr campaign three#crit role#critrole meme#cr3#cr c3#1k
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