#if you want me to use cis as a slur i will use it as a slur. zero complaints
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"cis is a slur" i'm completely fine using it that way
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gonna be honest I see anyone talking about this "my gender is more complicated than yours" shit as someone who genuinely cannot comprehend that other people that don't share certain traits with them can still in fact have rich interior lives. as an agender trans woman who uses she/her I've never had anyone say it to me who wasn't (usually unknowingly) transmisogynistic
see but im not talking about "rich interior lives" and the assumption that i am is exactly what im talking about. i am talking about the actual physical way that reality treats and percieves me in comparison to the way it treats and percieves you. saying my gender is "more complex" means to me that i am physically incapable of existing in a strictly binary world and that there is no thing i can pass as bc "binary man" and "binary woman" are both incorrect for me. and the Cisiety in question does not allow androgyny to exist - it is exclusively the timeframe people have to decide whether they think you are a cisman or a ciswoman, or a failure and a freak. i dont subscribe to that "binary privilege" shit, thats not how privilege works. but there are differences in the ways both you and i can navigate this strictly binary Cisiety!!! and those differences deserve to be named, imo
like. again. i dont have to comfort you about your own internal sense of gender before youll listen to me about my experiences in the real world as genderqueer. as a different sort of transsexual than you.
(and bc i Know what binary ppl love to say: i know not everyone is 'capable of passing'. what i am talking about specifically is the difference between being unable to pass as a cis woman or a cis man vs being unable to pass bc what i am does not exist AT ALL in a binary society, and both of those things are incorrect ans unattainable.)
(anyways if that language is too imperfect for you thats like fine but. its just confusing to me, i dont get why its hard to understand what we are talking about here. our experiences w our nonbinary genders are completely different! why do i have to discuss them like theyre the same?)
#do you consider yourself transfem first or agender first on an internal level?#do you feel like you are predominantly treated as a trans woman in your day to day? does that hurt the part of you that is agender?#< not trying to grill u or anything im genuinely curious#ive had similar convos w my transmasc and transfem nonbinary friends as well as like. my gnc binary trans friends#i am just curious bc. like i said 'binary' isnt a bad thing to be and frankly since u identify urself as agender ur not really the target a#dience here anyways?#the idea that theres no such thing as a binary trans person just#fundamentally misunderstands the extremely broad swathe of nonbinary experiences and treatments#my passing transmasc enby friends dont particularly feel touched by transphobia unless theyre clocked or unless our areas laws changed#but some DO feel like they r effected by exorsexism on a day to day by being assumed to be binary men and having the other parts of their i#entities erased#while others are completely comfortable being percieved as strictly men and moving through life strictly as men#which is sounds like. i would guess youd have a similar position since u exclusively use she/her?#like.. it sounds to me like your 'rich interior life' doesnt really have an outward effect on the way people percieve and treat you and the#way you react to it which is very different from my experience#binary doesnt mean your gender is 'simple' it just means that you are comfortable within a binary system even of you dont personally identi#y with it. and maybe this is a case of 'political identity vs personal identity'??#and all of this is FINE its just. literally every time i talk about my own unique positioning my transandrogyny or whatever gives me#people crawl out of the woodwork to tell me my experiences are not actually unique#do u see what my issue is? my own trans experiences are erased bc other people 'disagree' with . what. my perspective as an 'unaligned' enb#? when its like. literally none of us are gonna have the same needs or experiences as trans people#and if 'binary' works to show that you are fine and comfortable being percieved exclusively as a woman#and 'nonbinary' works to show i am not#i dont really see what the issue w using the word 'binary' is#like i said. its not a slur. its not a bad thing to be.#and tbh i think this insistence that 'unaligned' nonbinary ppls perspectives arent actually unique to binary or 'aligned' nonbinary ppls is#directly contributing to like. lateral bigotry coming from said 'unaligned' enbies. like if u put urself in my shoes for a second and u gre#up being constantly told you were either a cis invader who didnt actually have any trans experiences and that only people who want to 'full#transition' were REAL transsexuals then. youd be kinda jaded too right? and im sure you ARE kinda jaded lol.#anyways. sorry for rambling at you i dont have any more tags left lol
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there's a person I've been hate-following and I really need to mfing STOP
Looked into their dni and they added TWO (2) aphobic points like who hurt you
#I really want to DM her like “please just block me so I don't get tempted to look you up and get annoyed all over again”#melonyrants#don't read the next tag if you value your sanity#one of their new dnis is “you believe LGBT people hold privilege over ace people by using the term 'allo' as a term#which groups them into (the evil) cishets“#it's literally repackaged “cis is a slur” literally who hurt you!!!!#aphobia
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Hey, considering the majority of people use “transandrophobia” to mean either 1) any transphobia specifically against transmascs or 2) the intersection of transphobia and misogyny that affects transmascs, I would really reconsider your thoughts on it in light of your sexism/pedophilia post
Ok
#coming back to add a thought to this—I get what you’re saying. And transmascs do experience unique forms of discrimination#but in terms of actionable change—of making the world better for transmasc people—I don’t see the labelling of transandrophobia as useful#medical professionals + employers shouldn’t be sexist. it bothers me that I’m seen as a woman but I can’t change how people read me#but if women were respected and taken seriously in the first place I wouldn’t experience this so negatively#you get what I’m saying? it’s so much more useful for me and everyone else to combat the sexism.#if I combat transandrophobia it wouldn’t make it better for the women who experience the same bullshit#it would just be trying to move myself into existing structures of male privilege#similarly—passing well enough to be called slurs has much more to do with homophobia directed at queer men than being perceived as trans#in a less homophobic world cis men wouldn’t have to go through that either#I don’t want to discourage you from using terms that help you understand your experience#but I personally see combatting sexism as the much more actionable form of activism#also. and this is more mean spirited of me to say#that post isn’t a post about transmascs in general…it’s not a ‘sexism/pedophilia post’#it’s an experience post. a personal one#I wonder a little bit about your motives when your inclination is to see a personal post and focus more on a wording in a tag#than the substance of the post itself#if you’re thinking about transandrophobia and what transmascs face day to day why not prioritize. like. care#for the person#rather than the vocab you disagree with#like do you care about other people’s well-being or do you care about being right
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STOP putting your rant in your tags!! That shit needs to be in the post so that the message is preserved when you reblog. Considering like 90% of tumbly content gets to us via reblogs, this is quite important for the transfer of information.
in jokes can absolutely go in the twgs for ardent followers, however :p
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The transandrophobia brainrot has hit tiktok hard. There's a sound going around right now that uses the T slur in a reclamatory way, but whenever a transmasc person uses the sound people lose their minds saying it's transmisogynistic for them to use that word. But when cis male drag queens use the audio it's a slay.
My answer to those people is Get Kate Bornstein'd:
Tranny. Many people don’t know the history of the word, they assume it was an assigned hate term or slur along the lines of the “n” word. That’s not how it happened. Tranny was invented by us in Sydney, Australia in the 1970s where drag was a big deal, and still the best drag shows ever are in Sydney, Australia – they’re amazing. So a lot of trans-identified women who were assigned male at birth did drag, that’s how you made your living. And so they were transsexuals, transvestites, drag queens, and they were all doing drag to make money. They all bickered amongst each other who is better than who, “Well the drag queens are better,” “No, the transsexuals are better.” “You are all freaks, we’re better.” And on and on and on. But they worked together and they were family together, so they came up with a word that would say family and that was tranny. In Australia they do the diminutive, that’s how they come up with words. So tranny. I learned the word in the mid-1980s, late 1980s from my drag mom in San Francisco, Doris Fish, who was the city’s preeminent drag queen and she’d come from Sydney. And she schooled me in this word tranny, she said, “This way it means we’re family, darling.” “Thank you mama.” [...] So we used it and we were trannies together. And F to M was just beginning to start, the trans men were just beginning to become visible, Lou Sullivan was a neighbor of mine around the corner, and he was the first big out trans man, wrote his book. So trans men and cross dressers . . . cross dressers were also family. Transsexuals, we were all trannies and that felt good. That got into the sex industry and became a genre – there was tranny porn, there were tranny sex workers – chicks with dicks, she-males. [...] And, my only guess is that people who . . . because the only way they would have found out about the word is if they were watching tranny porn or having been with a tranny sex worker and then hated themselves so much that they turned it into a curse word. So it’s not really technically correct to say we’re reclaiming a word – it was always ours. So, many people mistake the word for the hatred behind the word and, in my generation, and I’m sure in future generations of trans people, tranny is going to be a radicalized, sexualized identity of trans in the same way that faggot is a prideful identity in the gay male community – not all gay men are faggots, but those who are are proudly fags and those who are dykes are proudly dykes within the lesbian community, trannies are proudly tranny within the transgender community. Does that mean we can’t call ourselves that because some trans woman does not want to be called a tranny? No. I’m going to keep calling myself a tranny. To the trans woman who gets called tranny, I’m sorry – as soon as . . . you’ve got to look at why you’re getting called tranny and if you don’t pass, you’re going to be read as a transgender person and then you fall back on the cultural view of trans folk which is freak, disgusting, not worth living, we can hurt you. It has nothing to do with the word, it has everything to do with the cultural attitude. So the word has stirred up a shit storm, but it’s not the word.
^ From this interview
Four weeks ago, Bear posted a call for submissions on his blog. In the interests of keeping the call as open as possible, we agreed to include as many trans-identities as we knew, so we used the word "tranny." And that's where the activist shit hit the postmodern fan base. People have been pissed. Here's their argument: FTMs are co-opting a word that belongs to MTFs. The word "tranny" belongs to MTFs, reason those who were hurt by our use of the word, because it was a denigrating term reclaimed by MTFs—ergo, only MTFs could be known as trannies. I spoke with Bear, and we agree that’s wrong on several counts:
Tranny began as a uniting term amongst ourselves. Of course it’s going to be picked up and used as a denigrating term by mean people in the world. But even if we manage to get them to stop saying tranny like a thrown rock, mean people will come up with another word to wound us with. So, let’s get back to using tranny as a uniting term amongst ourselves. That would make Doris Fish very happy.
It's our first own language word for ourselves that has no medical-legacy.
Even if (like gay) hate-filled people try to make tranny into a bad word, our most positive response is to own the word (a word invented by the queerest of the queer of their day). We have the opportunity to re-create tranny as a positive in the world.
Saying that FTMs can’t call themselves trannies eerily echoes the 1980s lesbians who said I couldn’t use the word woman to identify myself, and the 1990s lesbians who said I couldn’t use the word dyke.
At one phase in the evolution of transpeople-as-tribe, it was the male-to-females who were visible and representative of trans to the rest of the world. They were the trannies. Today? Ironically true to the binary we’re in the process of shattering, the pendulum has swung so that it's now female-to-males who are the archetypal trannies of the day. The generation coming up beyond the next generation, i.e. my tribal grandchildren are the young boys who transition to young girls at the age of five or six. They’re the next trannies. None of us can own the word. We can only be grateful that our tribe is so much larger than we had thought it would be. How to come together—now that’s the job of the next generation of gender outlaws.
^ From Who You Calling A Tranny?
We've been having this debate forever and its been stupid forever.
And its an increasingly outdated debate. More people know about trans men&mascs than ever and there are plenty of TM&Ms who have been called tranny by transphobes who don't give a shit about this distinction. And not just people who have been mistaken for transfems, either, but men like Andrew Jonathan Blake-Newton and Saye Skye who were attacked by people who knew them. Do they have more or less of a right to say tranny than a trans girl whose never been called it by a transphobe? (Neither. Because no one owns this word.)
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God I think I actually prefer explicit fascist transmisogyny in comparison to the disguised dogwhistly liberal transmisogyny.
Like the people who openly call me an autogynephile and other various slurs and tell me to kill myself are at least being honest. They don't bullshit me about hating my very existence and wanting me to die.
It's all the faux-loving forms of transmisogyny that really make me angry. Like it makes my skin crawl in its dishonesty and hypocrisy. And it takes so many forms. Like the transmisogynist christian "hate the sin, not the sinner" approach where they claim to love me and just want me to accept Jesus in my heart. The necessary condition for accepting their version of Jesus however is me detransitioning, and that would kill me.
There is the terfy "people with gender dysphoria are suffering and they need help but we can't endanger women's sex-based rights for them." i've even seen in arguments about legal gender changes the following: "of course trans women deserve to use women's spaces, but if we allow legal gender self-id evil cis men will take advantage of that. So trans women will have to have their rights restricted." Even J.K. Rowling used it in her terf manifesto.
It makes one yearn for the days of the ur-terf book "The Transsexual Empire" which had the "shemale" slur in its subtitle and in which the author Janice Raymond argued trans women rape real women by the fact of their very existence. That kind of brazen transmisogyny at least had some kind of honesty about it.
There is also the transmisogynist callout culture fandom, or as the japanese fittingly call them: the american feelings yakuza. They callout transfems for problematic kinks like at least once a week but deny transmisogyny. "oh we don't believe all transfems are evil predatory sex perverts, it's just that this particular transfem is."
Their evidence for her being sexual predatory is that she ships two fictional siblings. Or in meatspace meetings, things like her having "bad vibes" ("bad vibes" or "gut instinct" are polite words for what more sensible people call "ingrained bias") .
And they suspiciously keep on making callouts for transfem after transfem in a neverending series, trying to ruin her reputation and socially exile her, but of course they are not transmsiogynists.
There is also the sofboi transandrobro type of transmisogyny. They spread the vilest transmisogyny but always falls back on a terfy bioessentialism to claim ontological innocence and perpetual victimhood in all situations. I've literally seen someone say "how can i be a misogynist, i'm literally afab." These people will not say directly "shut up about your oppression, stupid tranny", but say it in coded form. I had one guy traumadump to me about his rape in vivid detail to make the point that (trans)men suffer more and imply that transfems don't suffer from sexual violence.
And that's the crux of the issue. Open hate barely fazes me anymore, unless there is an immediate threat of physical violence. But being condescended to, being emotionally manipulated, being faced with people veiling their hatred of transfems behind a veil of superficially loving rhetoric, that does make me angry. And these people always use my anger against me. "Why are you so angry when these people are being so polite and nice to you?" And that's because the point of these rhetorical approaches is to have plausible deniability for your bigotry and make transfems look crazy when they point it out.
Yet it's the same bigotry as the explicit version, it's just more dishonest about it. Like if had the They Live glasses and looked at the rhetoric, it would just read "exterminate all transfems." All those polite liberals believe the same thing about transfems as the neo-nazis openly calling for us to be hanged, they just lack the virtue of being honest about it.
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Hi! I’m in my early 20’s and a baby gay and i was wondering if you could help me understand the nuances of a particular issue (or point me towards recourses to find some answers). I’ve heard that as an afab enby i shouldn’t be using the f slur because historically it has been used to attack/demean gay men, but i’ve also seen (mostly on tumblr) a push by the queer community to reclaim the word by any queer identity. I want to be inclusive and intersectional and not insult people to the best of my ability so my question is: can i participate in the reclamation of the f slur or should i leave this word to queer men? (I’m also not clear on wether it’s just cis men, includes trans men/amab folks, etc). You don’t have to answer but thanks for your time regardless!
You can do whatever you want forever.
Seriously, though - whoever is telling you that you can't reclaim a particular slur because that doesn't get used against people like you should come review my history sometime. I've had faggot yelled at me (often out of moving cars or in connection with physical abuse) more times than I can count. They need to talk to Hannah Gadsby, who talks in Nanette about a man who pushed her, thinking she was a faggot and then found out she was a woman, realized she was a "lady faggot" and thus outside his definition of woman and able to be beaten up... so he did.
That kind of "I have decided that people like you haven't been hurt by this so you can't touch this word" cop nonsense is genuinely harmful. We need to bring back the 90s energy of "it takes all of us to take the sting out of a word" where gay men showed up to lesbian marches with "fags for dykes" signs.
This infighting over terms is fucking cop garbage meant to divide us. It's bullshit. If you find strength in calling yourself a fag, a dykefag, a fagdyke, a ladyfag, a girl homo, a lesbo, whatever the fuck, it doesn't fucking matter.
This "no one uses that against people like you" bullshit is just that. Ignore it freely, because it's utter nonsense on many many levels.
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so this post has been made unrebloggable now (shocker) but ive been feeling the need to address it since i saw it on my dash multiple times, so let's explore how lying on the internet works. more specifically, how blending truth, lies, and omissions to whip uninvolved people into anger works, because i think this is an excellent example and that pointing out the misinformation and the tactics used to spread it here is important, both in correcting the specific falsities but also in helping recognize similar tactics in the future.
so here we have several things that are technically true: staff has been very openly shitty to trans women for a long time and them banning predstrogen is clearly part of that, there is currently a movement regarding discussing transmisandry/transandrophobia, transmisogyny and transphobes sending transphobic asks is by far nothing new, and baeddel is/was a slur. however, among all of this are half-truths, unprovable speculation, or outright lies made to make you believe these events are originating specifically from transmascs.
firstly, the transandrophobia movement has been drastically misrepresented here in the same way it has been for the whole argument, "they're just trans MRAs" has been repeated so many times now that i'm gonna be hearing it in my dreams when i'm 80. i can understand not being willing to address the nuance of that whole discourse in one post that isn't directly focused on that, i'm certainly not, but in this example it's not unwillingness to address a complicated topic, it's a deliberate misrepresentation to frame one side of the discussion as The Evil Bad Ones That Can't Be Trusted. additionally, this post IS about that discourse and is just pretending it isn't to mislead a wider audience, so refusing to address it at all beyond this brief mention is deliberately misleading people about the goals of the group because They're The Other Side Of The Discourse. "transmisogynists" is used as a buzzword here, it doesn't actually refer to Anyone Who Hates Transfemmes, it refers to Transmascs Who Discuss Transmasc-Specific Oppression Using A Word They Coined To Point Out That Queer Spaces Have A Big Problem With Masculinity and just. doesn't tell you that's what it means, relying on the structure and framing of the post to create the Transmisogynist = Transmasc association in the audience's head so op doesn't have to say it outright (and of course the implied Transmasc = Transmisogynist association that follows because creating THAT association is the Actual Point of this post). the mentions of transmascs in this post are designed to look like afterthoughts, op says "typically those who espouse transandrophobia" to make it look like they're saying there's other people they're referring to here too, but almost everything in this post draws from the transandrophobia discourse. some random cis transphobe in texas has never heard the term baeddel in their entire life much less used it in a debate about transphobia, this is an intercommunity argument through and through, but op is trying to mask the fact that they're just referring to "transmascs who disagree with me specifically" and make it look like it's part of a wider trend. and again, i'm not going to go into the nuances of transandrophobia here, but i highly recommend reading some of the theory on it by @nothorses (x) and @genderkoolaid (x) because the "theyre just trans MRAs" argument kinda just collapses under its own weight as soon as you look into it even a smidgen. i've linked a couple broad overviews there but they both discuss it frequently and in-depth, specifically nothorses has a pinned post linking to many different discussion threads that i would recommend checking out if you do want to learn more about what the actual conversation surrounding these words is.
so, after framing the movement this way, they go on to say that the reason predstrogen was banned wasn't /just/ because staff has a long and established hate boner for trans women, but because the transandrophobia movement was teaming up with TERFs to mass-report her and other transfemmes, and implies that this is part of a deliberate conspiracy between Transandrophobia Truthers™, TERFs, and staff. you'll notice that there are no, say, screenshots of transmascs saying theyre deliberately reporting her or of that they're working with TERFs, behind-the-scenes lists of people who reported a certain account, or any evidence for this beyond "she was a trans woman, they're trans men who hate trans women, she got banned, so these must be related". which i find especially funny now given that photomatt has continued melting down about this since it happened and made it pretty clear it yknow. was just part of staffs ongoing hate campaign against trans women that has been going on much longer than the transandrophobia debate? and that maybe the fact that The Literal CEO is having a personal meltdown about this might explain where that could be coming from or at least why it's been allowed to continue for so long, moreso than any individual users reporting someone could? but i digress.
who reported what account is completely unprovable as a casual user unless people directly admit they did it, so to bring it up like this begs the question of what actual reasoning they have for saying it beyond trying to tie a current display of bigotry into an unrelated discourse. that's not to say it's impossible people who discuss transandrophobia were wrongfully reporting her, because again, thats something we have no way of knowing, and the internet is a shit place so i wouldn't be surprised. but given the circumstances and the rest of the lies here, i have my doubts about this being an actual yknow. Thing That Happened rather than just another lie to make people mad at transmascs. now one could make the argument that op wasn't saying transmascs are /deliberately/ teaming up with TERFs/staff, that "teaming up" was just a poor choice of words to refer to multiple groups who happen to have the same goals in mind at the same time but aren't actually coordinating with one another, but given the deliberate misinformative slant of the rest of the post and the overall phrasing in this section, i have trouble extending that grace. regardless, however, that doesn't change that who is reporting who isn't something verifiable, so stating it here as a confirmed fact is disingenuous at the absolute best, and a lie chosen specifically because it's unprovable at worst. if op /does/ have proof that transmascs have been teaming up with TERFs to get trans women banned, not including that with this post is just uhhhhh dumb, and if op /doesn't/ have proof then Why Would You Go Around Telling People That's What Happened Unless You Were Lying To Them On Purpose With Ulterior Motives.
next, op goes on to discuss the rise of the term baeddel. now as i said before, the truth here is that it certainly was a slur and certainly can still be used as one, again the internet is a shit place so i would be a fool if i tried to say "no one is using this as a slur". however, this is once again a drastic misrepresentation of the situation. baeddel's rising use is due to certain trans women reclaiming it and aligning themselves with the original group's politics, namely that femininity is good and masculinity is bad (aka terfism 101), with the added caveat that by abandoning femininity for masculinity, transmascs are evil and betraying devine womanhood and their community by putting more Evil Manhood into the world. of course that in turn is a drastic oversimplification of their politics and i highly recommend checking out this post with an actual in-depth exploration of the history (and without my added flavor), but the important part to note here is that this is not a term transmascs just Started Using one day because they hate transfems so very much as is implied here, its use is directly tied to a group of people saying "hello, here is what i am, and here is what this word means about what i believe," so others went "ok, these specific beliefs are called this." bringing up the fact that it historically was a slur is misdirection here, when you look closer this is almost a 1 to 1 translation of TERFs crying that TERF and radfem are slurs because People Don't Like Their Politics And Therefore Them, so the name for their politics is used negatively, so therefore it's a slur. that argument just has a little more oomph behind it this time because It Was A Slur Originally. and again, that isnt to say no one is now using it as a slur, the rate of decay for online discourse is ridiculous so it being boiled down to and used as "evil transfemme" has certainly already happened, but to act like /every/ use of it is a slur is literally just a lie, when you self-identify with a term based on your shared politics with the original group then you do not get to claim everyone using that term to describe those politics is doing so exclusively to attack you. also this part is entirely speculation but given that op's url is basically just. baeddel switched around to dae bel, i would hazard a guess that they perhaps are indeed aware of the origins of its re-use? but again, that's entirely unprovable and based just on wordplay, but like. given the Everything here i wouldn't be surprised. now, there's definitely an argument to be made about calling users baeddels based just off of their politics when they don't personally self-identify with it, if that constitutes calling someone a slur and if TIRF should be used instead, but crucially, that is not the argument being made here. the argument being made is "ANY AND ALL use of this term is calling someone a slur," and that literally just Isn't The Case.
finally, to tie the whole post off, op reminds us 1) if you hear anything bad about any trans woman ever, it's probably a lie to make her look bad, and 2) if you hear anyone say anything about transandrophobia, disregard everything else they have to say because they hate trans women. not "be critical of the things you see or get sent" or "be on the lookout for things following a certain pattern," a unilateral "anything bad is probably fake and anyone who uses the bad words is probably evil." that is not something someone does if they are genuinely trying to raise awareness of an ongoing trend, that is what someone does when they want you to turn your brain off and be mad at a group no matter what they say.
so yeah, in summary, do be critical of the things you see and be on the lookout for certain patterns, because sometimes people will just Lie to you. or, sometimes people will tell you portions of the truth while leaving out crucial bits so that you'll come to the conclusion they want without anyone being able to say they lied to you without typing up a thirty paragraph long hell post. transmisogyny is absolutely a problem on this site and there are 100% valuable conversations to be had about it and its presence within the trans community, but this post is not that. this post uses real transmisogyny and the wrongful termination of a trans woman's account as set dressing to say that it was all because of evil transmascs who run the trans community behind the scenes conspiring to take out transfemmes, so you should ignore anything they have to say because All of it is secretly motivated by transmisogyny. they're never discussing transandrophobia because it's something that actually effects them, they're doing it to hurt trans women by saying they have it worse. they're never telling you about shitty things a trans woman did to spread awareness, they're lying to make her look bad, or even if it's true they're only talking about it as part of a hate campaign because she's trans, they wouldn't care otherwise. they're never using a specific term because People Use That Term For Themselves, they're calling someone a slur because they hate trans women. there's always an explanation you can think up that ties it back to transmisogyny, and op says that instead of assessing all of what someone says and the context behind it to determine if that's what's happening, you should assume transmisogyny is the answer and refuse to engage any further as soon as you see a word you've been told is bad.
this post is discourse recruitment masquerading as a public service announcement that doesn't offer you any routes to actually learn more about what's going on, it just tells you Here's What's Happening, Here's Who's Evil And Should Be Ignored, And If You Disagree You're Also Evil And Should Be Ignored. content of the actual post aside, i think anything framed that way should be taken with a MASSIVE grain of salt and this would have raised my alarm bells even if i wasn't already pretty familiar with the arguments, people who genuinely want you to know something just because it's good to know will give you options to learn more or encourage you to actually use your critical thinking to assess things, not tell you to sit down and shut up and ignore anyone who disagrees with them.
anyways i guess tldr
#trans#transandrophobia#transmisogyny#now the question is do i leave anon on after posting this#origibberish#and its interesting too how the lies here cast doubt on other parts too#like i didnt click through the link op posted but just based on everything else theres a part of me thats like#everything else you said here was a lie to make transmascs look bad and transfemmes look good. why exactly should i believe you#when you say some rumor about your friend is fake. like your friend could be entirely innocent but because /you/ are the one saying it#its like. is it actually fake or is that another lie and your friends are just shitty people?#but again i didnt click through the link and know nothing abt that aspect its just. something to note about how lying about some things#makes it very difficult to believe others#long post
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oh another little detail about Nimona that fucked me up:
I thought Bal refusing to call Nimona a monster, instead saying “You know what you are”, was him struggling with caring about her but also fearing her. After further thought, no.
It’s respectability politics.
He’s a cis, presumably gay man, who lived his whole life in the same confines as Ambrosius. The same rules, the same “don’t be Weird, don’t be Defiant, Kill Monsters On Sight”. Just because he was expelled for being accused of being the wrong kind of gay murder doesn’t mean he isn’t still chockful of “I need to be accepted by the people in power.”
Which always, always results in trying to be more straight than straight people, more cis than the cis. It’s part of why the ‘queer is a slur’ bullshit spread so far. “Monster” replaces “queer” in that scene. Bal can’t bring himself to call his friend a word that he has since learned is painful and was used to hurt her, but he still means it. He won’t let it out of his mouth, but he still means it, with the same spitting hate as everyone else.
Monster. Queer. Faggot. Dyke. Tranny.
Bal still hated That One Part Of Her. He loved Nimona, his friend and ally, but she was Monster, and just like all the “LGB without the T” fuckheads, he was scared Nimona’s transness would drag him down even further. He still wanted to assimilate, be accepted.
It’s impossible to do that. We are not different. Cis people are not “more acceptable” than trans. Gays and lesbians are not “more acceptable” than bi, pan, and ace people. We’re all monsters to the people who hate us. Stop polishing their boots with your tongue and fight.
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Everyone should read the following. If we are a community you need to understand a few things.
Are you entitled to say anything you want due to "free speech"? Hell yeah!
Should you? Absolutely the fuck not!
The blatant racism, anti-queerness, transphobia, misogyny and fatphobia I have seen is down right abhorrent. And if you display any of these ideologies or opinions, you simply do not belong here. You shouldn't be comfortable making a safe space for yourself as you make this lovely community unsafe for the rest of us.
There is nothing political about human rights. But unfortunately that's where we are in this life. I'll try not to be biased but certain political leanings tells me all I need to know about you. POC conservatives will always make me laugh. You are nothing but a pawn for the cis/hetero/whites who don't give a shit if you live or die. Nothing but a slur, a body to dispose of. You may share their views but they are not sharing the power and privilege they have with you.
Let's talk about certain individuals who act so tough under the "big strong amurican sharing their views just to get shitted on, fucking snowflakes". Why do you want to be oppressed so badly? Why do you purposely antagonize people and then when they defend themselves you try dismissing them by saying how they're wasting their time... The irony of it all. The sheer ignorance.
I feel sorry for you people. Truly, I do. But I'll be damned if I let any of you try to tear any of us down for having opinions and ideologies (hint hint see the irony?) that fight for the rights of people who don't have them.
And let me get something clear- from the river to the sea. We all should not stop fighting till all of us are free. There are so many resources out there to educate yourself, yet you choose to remain ignorant. You do not belong here. You act as though you are better than everyone else because you have "edgy" opinions, opinions that literally call for the deaths of the marginalized and oppressed. You do not belong here. You have the gall to tell people they are wasting their time, when their sheer existence alone is putting them at risk for isolation and death (by the same bigoted people you support). You do not belong here.
If an elephant (Israel) has it's foot on a mouse's (Palestine) tail, tell me which one is truly the one at risk. There is a gen0cide going on. If Israel is trying to reclaim it's "land" why bomb it? Why destroy it? With a military with their degree they should be able to eliminate all these "terr0rists" with minimal to no "collateral damage" (aka the 30,000 innocent Palestinians, 2/3rds of which were woman and children, with countless injured, orphaned, homeless and starving). Why bomb hospitals, mosques, sacred places? Standing with Palestinian people is not antisemitism, it's anti gen0cide and war crimes (a multitude of which Israel has shamelessly committed).
And I'm not on anon. I stand for the people of Palestine. I stand for justice. I stand for equity. I stand for the freedom of all oppressed people.
And I implore everyone who follows me to educate themselves. The right path does not lead you to discriminate against the marginalized. Continue to fight my friends, continue to amplify the voices of those unheard, continue making this community and those you belong to, safe for all and unsafe for those who think otherwise.
For you @knismosexual + @littleonelee
I hope you truly reflect on how your actions impacts this entire community and the communities you live in. Until you learn how to act right, unfortunately this community isn't for you. You shouldn't feel welcome here. You shouldn't feel like you belong here. DMs are wide open if you have any thoughts. But again I say, supporting transphobic, racist, anti-queer, misogynistic, discriminatory views is not simply an "opinion" or personality to adopt. You are hurting real people, accepting the deaths and harassment that plague them every single day. You have no place in this community.
#twordpinion#tword community#tickle community#ticklepinion#tword content#tickling#important#important post#free palestine
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saw a youtube sponsorship for a brand that markets itself as "masculine shoes in small sizes, for trans men" and if the entire idea wasn't already preposterous (this is part of a large scale marketing push to convince trans people that clothing that has been available on the normal heterosexual market for generations is "hard to find" so they can charge you hundreds of dollars for it), it's also ugly, and they have chosen to call their company "Tomboy Toes". if you said those two words to my face in a shoe store i would slap you
$120 for a black or brown version of the standard school uniform brogue which has been available all the way down to toddler sizes since uhhhhhhh approximately 1820.
just to double check my sense of reality i went to the largest single online shoe market on earth besides Amazon (zappos) and typed in "women's brogues" and selected size 5 which would be pushing the lower limit on the larger part of the bell curve of adult AFAB people on earth, or at least the northern hemisphere, and there are many options in approximately the same price range depending on brand name, with sales regularly down to much less, on similar or identical styles. ebay also. Tomboy Toes carries down to size EU33 which is around 3.5 US Women's and again, that's just in the children's section if you need Picture Day/uniform (children)/ Office Whatever (adult) Shoes and they are on eBay lightly used in great numbers because kids grow out of them in 6-10 months.
is it annoying to be shopping in "women's section" or "kids section" for these things when you are an adult man. yes. so i dont understand the marketing impetus to replicate that exact scenario by naming your company for adult trans men something i would assume was a sassy yet misguided terf brand if i found it on a label in a generic wingtip at Goodwill. cis men who are very small also have to shop in the small sections for their small clothes. i am wearing a t-shirt meant for a 7 year old right now, it says so on the label. it fits me better than any of the shirts i own that are made for the standard american adult. i literally have bigger things to worry about
naturally their "vegan leather" selection is much larger but again, it's ugly Trendy Booties that will fall apart in a year and are, i cant emphasize this enough, made of plastic, nothing special, and in standard women and children's sizes which are already plentiful at every shoe retailer. why are we letting these "trans brands" charge us a $100 tax to pretend to take us seriously (while at the same time calling us "tomboys")? does anyone know
i do, its actually because of the learned helplessness issue again. the accepted wisdom at the tumblr layer of transness is 'its so hard to find [item of clothing that is suitable for trans people]" because the knowledge of how to shop for these items in the actual market has completely evaporated within the last ten years, i watched it happen right in front of me. but it's a complete fallacy, you can find this stuff easily. you can find large women's shoes, small men's shoes, women's clothing with wide shoulders or long torsos, there are entire stores for this already and measurements and sectiions within "department stores" (such as they are) and then after that there are one million billion foam inserts and seams and button placements and belts and scarves and gloves and hem lengths and blah blah blah that trans people and also cis people who are not standard-shaped or who just want their shoes or bras or shirts to fit have already been using for thousands of years so ive been mad about this all day. TOMBOY TOES. they are having us for absolute fools. just call me a slur at this point
i already know some nincompoop is going to match me paragraph for paragraph in a heated defense of the hundred dollar jingle keys boring shoes so i just want them to know in advance: we are not the same. i have so many cool shoes it is unbelievable. in every gender imaginable. and i didn't pay more than like $50 for any of them. also no theres no cheat sheet to learning to buy clothing for your body, i do not say this with any rancor either, its just hard, it takes a long time, and i dont have a cheatsheet for it because there isnt one. except rule #1: dont buy $120 boring ugly shoes from someone jingling their keys in front of your face and calling it Queer Fashion when you can get them for a lot less basically anywhere $120 isnt even a lot for a GOOD pair for mid-range, non-designer leather dress shoes. if you know they will last for ten years and stand up to resoling, it's completely fine. but not for thooooooose
#no reblogs i can already predict what sort of storm drains of fandom mewling this would wash down if i let it#actually i have one other actual tip and its sexyshoes.com#they have a size range from like 4 to 15 in the sluttiest shoes imaginable#and the sales are extremely good
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I'll say it because I need it out of my chest: bring transmasc in this world is, to me, being forced to play a game I can never win.
See, I'm almost 2 years on HRT and almost 2 months post top surgery and what I can say is that I don't pass consistently. When I'm in public, and trust me I didn't want to see that at first, but when people want to gender me they'll conveniently choose the option they can use against me:
1. I'm a queer man, so [insert homophobic slurs].
2. I'm a woman, and I face sexism, misogyny, sexual harassment etc.
Or the magic option
3. I'm trans. And I say Trans as in the "third gender", and I face transphobia and everything that can come with it.
And let me tell you that this shit is exhausting. I'm scared when I leave my house all the damn time. I go in the bathroom only in places where I know the bathrooms are not gendered, or I'd rather hold it until it aches. My last experience travelling and having to go to the train station's bathroom has been dreadful because in this forsaken places I had to pay to go so there were PEOPLE watching in which bathroom I was going, and even them didn't have a fking CLUE where I was supposed to go.
Literally a woman told me "uhm... Go to the women's I guess ?"
And then I almost gave the old woman coming after me a heart attack when I said "hello".
I'm so tired. So so tired.
Like please let me exist in peace I swear I'm just longing for a day where I can live my house without fear.
When the cis dudes catcalling me are not the same to call me a "f@ggot" depending on the weather.
When I can go PISS without checking under my door if there's people washing their hands and having to brush past them like I'm a shadow on the wall if there so they don't look at me too closely.
I'm so stressed.
#testosterone#transandrophobia#ftm#transman#transmasc#transgender#ftx#androgynous#genderfluid#genderqueer#mogai gender#gender#trans#gay#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbt pride#lgbtq community
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11/13-14/2024 Daily OFMD Recap
TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Con O'Neill; Nathan Foad; Kristian Nairn; Anapela Polata'ivao; Vico Ortiz; Jes Tom; Zayre Ferrer; Petition Status; Articles; Transgender Awareness Week; Love Notes;
Hey crew! So I am trying VERY HARD to be better about alt text across all the platforms, and it's taking way longer for me to get things out because of it. If anyone has a good idea on how to do those more easily will you please let me know? I do want to try to be more accessible (and I know the Repo is absolutely not terribly accessible at the moment). Anyway-- thanks Crew! Happy Friday!
= David Jenkins =
Chaos Dad out partying!
Source: King Malisz's Instagram
Apparently (and I didn't know this, so thank you to the folks who explained to me wtf was going on) apparently CIS is considered a slur on twitter and will literally make your posts un-retweetable, and so Dad decided to go full hog and cause Cissmegeddon the other day. Props to our crewmates who helped him irritate the shit out of Elon.
Source: David Jenkins Twitter
= Rhys Darby =
Rhys is going to Australia in April! Apr 30, 2025 at the Princess Theatre in Brisbane you can see the legend in person! Are you in town then? Get tickets here!
Source: Adopt Our Crew's Twitter
He's also announced all his UK & Ireland Tour Dates for 2025! You can buy tickets here!
Source: Rhys' Instagram
Reminder about new Atlanta show at the Helium clubs Nov 29, 30, and Dec 1st! Get tickets here!
instagram
Source: Rhys Instagram Stories
= Taika Waititi =
Interior Chinatown is almost here! Remember to check it out on November 19th on HULU! Taika was out doing lots of promos with the crew!
Source: Sthanlee's Instagram
Source: Variety Instagram
Source: Jerabraham
= Con O'Neill =
Con is going to be in a new sitcom SAS Rogue Heroes! Thank you to Irene Adler for finding this! Sun.co.uk Article.
Source: Irene Adler's Instagram
= Nathan Foad =
Nathan sent us a bathroom selfie-- and ALSO shared this awesome review of Voyage of the Damned (the book he narrated) by _brainbowie_ on instagram! OH AND JUST BY THE WAY-- IT WAS NOMINATED for Audible's "Best Audiobooks of the Year 2024 in both the SFF list AND the Top 20 overall!!"
ANNND if you have read it and would like to help Voyage of the Damned out -- please put a review up on Audible! Let the world know how much Nathan's voice should be cherished! In addition - if you haven't already, please help Nathan and the author out by voting for it on Goodreads for 2024's Goodreads Choice Awards!
Source: Goodreads
= Kristian Nairn =
Kristian was kind enough to share a playlist featuring his love of synthwave!
Source: Kristian Nairn's Instagram
= Anapela Polataivao =
Source: The Guerilla Connection Instagram
BTS of The Guerilla Connection!
Source: TheGuerillaConnection
= Vico Ortiz =
Vico had a great time at their first stand up comedy show! More random IG stories of it!
Source: Vico's Instagram Stories
= Jes Tom =
Jes Tom is out at Little Secrets Comedy tonight at the New York Comedy Festival if you're in town! November 15 @ 10:30 pm - 11:30 pm!
Source: Jes Tom's Instagram
= Zayre Ferrer =
Thank you so much to @adoptourcrew and Zadry Ferrer for highlighting this awesome Fellowship award awarded to our dear writer Zayre Ferrer! They were named one of the #inevitablefoundation's 2024 Visionary Fellows!
Source: Zadryg.bsky via @adoptourcrew
== Petition Status ==
Great news! Up to 90,150 signatures! To all our new OFMD fans out there, have you signed the petition yet? Thank you luci5459.bsky.social for sharing! (and @adoptourcrew for promoting!) https://www.change.org/p/save-our-flag-means-death
Source: Luci5429.bsky.social
== Articles ==
More articles featuring OFMD and Zayre Ferrer! Thanks @adoptourcrew!
Source: Adopt Our Crew Bsky
== Transgender Awareness Week ==
Happy Transgender Awareness week crew! Sending all my love out to our trans siblings out there <3 Especially know, please know how much we see and love you, and we have your backs no matter what comes, okay? Wanna learn more about Transgender Awareness Week and how you can help be a better ally? Visit GLAAD's website.
Source: Glaad Website
== Love Notes ==
Wow, now as you can tell, a lots gone on the last couple days! Especially with Rhys! Jeez! Everything seems to be ramping up, which is pretty great -- I don't know if you all are feeling the energy too, but it's nice to see some good things going on in these uncertain times. I know things are still rough right now, and some of you are itching to get out and make a difference. Please know that if you are feeling up for it now, it's totally okay to do that. Find things to do in your local community, find out how ot help online-- whatever you feel comfortable with. --and if you're not quite ready yet, that's okay too. I took two days off work this week despite having a huge project to finish, because I got sick, and my brain told me it needed a break, that there had been too much. I know not everyone has the luxery of doing that-- but if you do, please take some time if you need it. I've probably mentioned this before, but something that always bothers me about the phrase "You can't help anyone else if you don't help yourself!" is that that's not entirely true. YOU CAN. You can do all sorts of stuff without helping yourself, and by tiring yourself, and burning yourself out. But it's not sustainable, and you can't do it forever. You are so very strong, and I bet you could help so many people, and family and burn brightly until there was nothing left of you-- but that's not what any of us want. We want you to be okay on the other side of all this-- and sometimes that means taking a break even when things feel like they just can't wait. We care so much for you lovelies. Please care for yourselves too if you need it <3
instagram
Source: You are another me Instagram
#daily ofmd recap#ofmd daily recap#ofmd#our flag means death#taika waititi#rhys darby#vico ortiz#kristian nairn#zayre ferrer#jes tom#david jenkins#chaos dad#save ofmd#adopt our crew#ofmd daily recaps#con O'neill#anapela polata'ivao#nathan foad#transgender awareness week
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Listen, please understand that people like me are doing our best to see things from your perspective. You are a cis white male living in a deep-red flyover state. I get that you don't exactly have a lot of motivation to support BIPOC or 2SLGBTQ+ people. But you also need to see that we aren't asking you to support us, but at least you could stop helping people who want us dead?
I think the part that confuses me the most is that this shouldn't even be a hard choice. If you want to broadcast what a hardcore rad-trad right-wing ultra conservative you are… Then OKAY I guess?? You do you. But how exactly does reblogging R-slur filled posts from Bronys like r4cs0 and takashi0 help you do that? I would think that reblogging from people who jerk off to clop porn would be the opposite of what a conservative would do!
So all we are asking is that you unfollow and block a group of people who sexually objectify characters from a children's cartoon show. And then you can go back to bragging about how hard you are going to vote for Trump in November. This seems like a win-win to me.
Apologies, but you either sent this to the wrong person or are incredibly incorrect in your assessment of me on pretty much every claim.
I don't see how you could say that you are doing your best to see things from my perspective without ever asking me about my perspective.
My state is not a "deep-red flyover state".
My fiancé is a BIPOC, so I would say that is a pretty strong motivation.
I haven't helped anyone that is actively killing others, but if you disagree, then feel free to let me know who these people are and I will be more than happy to reconsider my support of them.
I'm not a "hardcore rad-trad right-wing ultra conservative", which further evidences that you have no clue on my perspective.
Which R-slur filled posts are you referring to?
Which posts did I reblog from r4cs0 and takashi0? I rarely reblog others' posts, so it shouldn't be that hard for you to find.
Perhaps you're new to Tumblr or the internet, but very rarely are posts reblogged for the author and instead they are reblogged for the content of the posts.
That is not all that you are asking because you haven't asked it at all. Not once have I received an ask to block a group of people for any reason. If you are making that ask, then at least provide a common courtesy of giving me the names of the accused instead of attempting to create a blind witch hunt.
When did I ever start bragging about voting for Trump in November? I think the last time I even talked about my voting decision was almost a decade ago.
Appreciate the feedback and you being opinionated, but with an opinion so fueled with fallacies it is quite challenging to substantiate it in having any value.
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At some point we’re gonna have to talk about how toxic websites like 4chan and Something Awful (rest in piss, Lowtax) influenced trans spaces online.
I only ever used SA back in the day, and it’s now mostly forgotten that “troon” came from a portmanteau of “trans goon” (goon being a member of something awful, not like a gooner… but, eh, it’s still apt), though it was always meant to be belittling.
And then there I was, a transmasc egg surrounded by transfemmes. I didn’t know how to express that I wanted what they had but different, cause I seriously didn’t know trans men existed back then. All I saw were transfemmes, and most of them were transmedicalists. I got called a transphobe when I said wearing a skirt shouldn’t be a required part of transitioning. I have since met many cool trans ladies who aren’t truscum, but the scars remain.
At the time I couldn’t fully articulate how uncomfortable I was with the idea of transitioning to the same old binary, because I also didn’t know GNC was a thing. So for a time I was suicidal because I had no idea of the options open to me. I’m not sure that reading Theory back then would have helped. Having read Theory now (both feminist and communist), I’ve come to the conclusion people lean on it way too much, take it way too literally, never considering that the things proposed have to be adapted to changing times and circumstances. It’s almost like evangelicals interpreting the Bible literally—to everyone’s detriment.
My point being, you can read anything, watch any YouTuber, but for fuck’s sake form your own opinions instead of just throwing books and videos at people like it’ll explain everything and also must be followed to the letter. It won’t, and it shouldn’t.
Yeah, I was also briefly suicidal over leftists dogpiling disability activists for daring to get groceries delivered or using plastic straws. Only other disabled people probably remember this, but it was perpetuated by that butter cat account, which was the most surreal fucking thing to watch unfold.
I’m just tired. Tired of self-proclaimed feminists failing to recognize the patriarchy is what makes us all suffer, including cis men, and that’s the real enemy. I know radfems are largely to blame for pushing the “all men bad” narrative again with the express purpose of dividing trans people, I’ve seen them cackling about what they get away with on accounts where they pretend to be trans. It’s sad people are making their work so easy for them.
I don’t hate or resent transwomen (I can’t remember if the space is preferred or not, but I’m sitting here sweating over it, afraid someone will call out my language when “troon” is already up there), but here I am right back at that awful feeling I had when trying to say skirts should not equal femininity. Fuck, I would probably be suicidal again if not for my partner, who is the best thing to ever happen in my life (love you, babe).
I don’t know how to word this better or more succinctly. My mind wanders a lot when writing. But it’s not just me, right? I see the schism forming and it’s bad for all of us, because the people who want us dead do not care how we present ourselves or how well we pass. We desperately need to support and uplift each other if we’re going to survive all the shit they keep throwing at us all in governments across the entire goddamn world.
So yeah, we need to look at how those websites poisoned the well, as it’s where that mentality of “if you’re not queer/trans in the proper way I deserve to call you a slur” mentality comes from. The pickme urge to go “I’m not like those cringe fags/trannies, I’m one of the cool ones,” too. To reiterate, the people who want us dead for existing do not care one way or the other.
Fuck, why am I worrying about how I word this? If people are gonna interpret this in bad faith there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I just wanted to get this off my zipper-tits—which I’m stealing from you fuckers who use it against transmascs. I got my dirty testosterone fingers all over it and it’s ruined now, sorry.
#I’m not gonna tag this if you find it you find it#plz god don’t let this blow up#or Satan whichever#suicide mention#oh and by the scars remain I mean I was self harming
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