#absolutely zero concept of how these colors turned out. its late and i had night light on my computer

[salmonlyster]

please dont take this too seriously

[anime-onlys]

Spring '21 anime list: What I tried, what I'm watching, and first impressions!

Shaman King (2021)

I hadn't heard about this show until the reboot was announced, and it seems neat so I'll give it a shot! Hesitation isn't quite the right word, but I am watching cautiously because there's a lot about early 2000's anime that should stay in the early 2000's. I'm prepared to take a certain amount of product-of-its-time-ness, but only so much.

I really like its unique visual style. It feels like it's got a similar vibe to Soul Eater and TWEWY with its chunky proportions and face design, and the squash-and-stretch animation really lends itself to comedic moments. I feel like there are some eminently cosplayable designs in my future.

Character-wise, it's only been one episode but I'm taking a liking to Yoh. Based on the OP I hope that Ryuu will be an early-antagonist-turned-loudmouth-friend like JJBA's Okuyasu or Sk8's Shadow. That's one of my favorite character tropes.

The World Ends With You the Animation

My friend is a huge TWEWY fan, so our group was really looking forward to this anime. I saw a little of the gameplay when the Switch version was released, up to the end of episode 1's plot. I know it's going to be excellent story wise, and I already may be planning on making cosplay of that Reaper with the skeleton hoodie.

I love a unique visual style and an awesome soundtrack, of course TWEWY already had that coming in. The CGI Noise are a little clunky, but allow for some really great fight sequences. The characters' CGI models are nearly seamless with the 2D. It feels like the plot is moving fast, but according to my friend they just skipped some fetch quests and puzzle solving that wouldn't have been interesting to animate.

I'm really looking forward to this one each week!

Dragon Goes House-Hunting

One of those "eh, we'll give it a shot" shows. A bunch of us have been eyeing real estate lately, so at the very least it's topical. If done right, the concept could be fun!

We spent most of the episode HATING the dragon's character design. Its proportions are just...awkward in every way. The neck is extremely short and thick and leads into a human-muscled torso, the arms are tiny twigs, and the legs are a little too human and a little too thick to be anything but unnerving. It's bad.

Oddly, except for the dragon, the rest of the creature designs are pretty great! In contrast to a lot of anime, they let them be really non-human and had a good design sense. The humor was solid, the Monster Hunter references were on point, and the character interactions were fun. The OP is GREAT, too!

We'll be continuing this one! If you can make your eyes stop hating you for forcing them to look at the Monster Factory reject of a dragon, I'd say give it a shot.

You Can Make A Mug Too

Now that Yuru Camp is over, we wanted another lighthearted anime that might teach us something while it's at it. You Can Make A Mug Too was one of our picks to sample because one member of anime night has recently acquired a kiln.

My impression is an approving but unenthusiastic "Fine, really." You can definitely tell it's an anime made to bring in tourism to the town it's based in. The characters don't really grab me, but they set up a solid emotional backbone for the story. The production quality isn't stunning, I was hoping for some nice pottery wheel animation but didn't get any.

It's probably a decent show, but we won't watch any more because of the next one on the list.

Supercub

Going straight from You Can Make A Mug to Supercub was like going from store-brand ice pops to fresh gelato. I can already tell this is my favorite anime of the season, hands down.

First, the production quality is excellent. The backgrounds are beautiful, the score is understated but well done to the point that Debussey's Clair de Lune felt like it had been made for the scene it was used for.

More than the production quality alone, this anime's direction is exceptional. It takes 'show don't tell' and uses it perfectly, using body language and soundtrack and shot composition to communicate as much or more than the sparse dialogue. Like, they made my heart skip a beat with nothing but color grading. THAT kind of exceptional.

I haven't spoken much about the plot because I really have no idea where it's going to go. Will we fill in why Koguma is so alone, or will we only move forward to seeing her connect? Will the past of that Supercub come back to haunt her? This feels like an anime that can and will absolutely wreck me, but at the starting line all I can say is I'm READY.

If you only watch one thing this season, watch Supercub.

Continuing anime:

My Hero Academia Season 5:

This season is interesting because for the first time, I think I'm going into it with almost zero spoilers (Dabi's real name is the only one I have). The only plot spoiler I thought I had, that Hawks was somehow working with the League of Villains, was revealed at the end of episode 1. I really enjoy going into things blind so I'm looking forward to this season!

However, the OP is the most disappointing thing out there. Nothing about the song, animation or composition is memorable or even noteworthy. Bones and MHA have access to all the money and talent in the industry and they best they can do is "Fine, I guess".

Yuukoku no Moriarty season 2 (Split cour):

I really enjoyed Moriarty's first season, but the second part of a split-cour always has the risk of running off the rails. What I enjoyed most about the first cour was the reverse-whodunit formula: Here's a terrible noble and the people they hurt, how does Moriarty get rid of them while making it look like an accident? The end of cour 1 started to focus heavily on Sherlock and I don't want the show's namesake to end up sidelined.

Knowing Irene was coming, I was really hoping for a Scandal in Belgravia that follows the books...at all, where the end of the story is that Irene escapes with the photo (except this time aided by the Moriarty brothers). Few or no Sherlock adaptations actually want to engage with the sexism of the era or today's, and just want to paint her as a blackmailer or temptress instead of a woman holding onto the power to protect herself. The beginning was extremely promising, but that went off the rails pretty quick. I still haven't yet seen an adaptation of Irene Adler that I like.

Zombieland Saga: Revenge

I watch this show because it's fun and ridiculous, and I get to hear Mamoru Miyano having the time of his life in the recording booth. I love this show because it always ends up surprising me with its solid emotional backbone. It looks like this season is shaping up to be more of the same!

What blew me away was this episode was the first time I saw a CGI dance sequence that I LIKED. Ever. The characters used different mocap so they weren't eerily in sync, the song and dance itself was well made and supported by excellent camera direction and shot composition, there were 2D cuts to closeups of the dancers as well as audience, and they actually pushed facial expression!

It's a good time. Give it a shot.

[jowritesthingss]

A (Demi)Boy and His Demon: Two

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairing(s): LoSleep (Logic | Logan + Sleep | Remy)

Rating: Teen

Content Warning(s): lots of swearing, food/drink, death mention (nobody’s dead they just talk about death briefly), suicide mention (again, just alluded to in passing)

Length: 2,858 words

Brief Summary: Sleep-deprived writer Remy accidentally summons a serious-and-seriously-fed-up demon named Logan. Two. In Which Remy Kind of Regrets the Stupid Things He’s Done

Fic Masterlist!

*

The morning dawned bright and cold, the sun shining its annoyingly cheerful face through the window and directly onto Remy’s face.

“Goddammit” was the first word out of Remy’s mouth as they winced at the bright light. They stretched, scrunching up their nose, stretching out their arms, and arching their back slightly.

Body pleasantly loose and relaxed, Remy rolled over onto his back. Judging from how bright the sun was, they had no doubt slept through their alarm, which most probably meant they were missing class time, but exhausted as they were, they couldn’t seem to find a reason to care in the given moment.

See, Remy with no coffee in his system was a Remy who gave exactly zero shits about anything. Granted, Remy at any given time was a Remy who gave exactly zero shits about anything—it’s just, without their morning coffee, there was no filter to prevent him from releasing this information.

Remy sat up in bed. In glancing across the room at the alarm clock on his dresser, they were made aware of a lump lying under the sheets on the other half of the bed.

“Goddammit,” Remy said again, more vehemently this time.

So the day before hadn’t been a dream, then. Either that, or Remy had gotten absolutely smashed, and his alcohol-ridden brain had concocted the wildest dream about him and a one-night stand. But a cursory glance under the sheets proved them both to be much too clothed for that, and besides, things like that only happened in really bad fanfiction.

Then again, demons actually existing in real life just sounded like a really bad fanfiction trope, too, Remy grumped as they forced themself to swing their legs over the side of their bed. And yet.

Standing, Remy stared down at the body of the person—well, demon—huddled underneath his bedsheets.

“And yet,” they sighed aloud heavily, “here we are.”

“Where are we?”

The covers rolled down to the demon’s—to Logan’s—admittedly attractive slim waist, and xyr eyes flicked open to reveal slightly slitted, surprisingly coherent pupils. “Are we not in your bedroom, in your apartment, in the human realm?”

Remy yelped, jumping slightly. “Wh—you’re awake already?”

“Naturally,” Logan answered, turning away from Remy as xe got out of bed. “As a demon, I do not sleep. My body does not require rest—it merely require the souls of the damned for nourishment.”

Remy gaped. “Then—why did you watch me flounder around trying to find somewhere for you to sleep last night?” His cheeks colored slightly. “And if you don’t sleep, then why the hell’d you think it necessary to, to lie in my bed with me all night? That’s highkey creepy AF.”

Amusement flickered briefly across Logan’s expression before a look of cool indifference once more reappeared. “Again, I am a demon.” Logan stepped over to Remy’s dresser and began investigating the jumble of objects haphazardly shoved onto it. “As such, I do not feel emotions; however, the amusement I find in humans’ dismay is the closest I will get to feeling love.” Xe paused. “What is ‘ay eff’?”

Remy was pretty sure ‘amusement’ technically was an emotion, but he wasn’t about to contradict and potentially anger a demon before they had even had their morning coffee. Nor were they particularly in a mood to explain modern slang to a probably centuries-old demon, so he ignored xyr question and shelved that discussion topic away for another time.

After all, apparently they had an entire lifetime to talk about it now.

But he wasn’t particularly in the mood to think about that, either, so. Moving rapidly on.

“Babe,” Remy said instead, scandalized, as they realized what Logan was—still—wearing. “You’re telling me you slept in that getup?” They looked Logan up and down derisively, taking in the somehow non-rumpled collared shirt and—the hell, was xe still wearing that lameass tie?

Logan raised an eyebrow at Remy before turning to examine xyr surroundings once more. “Why would I not?”

“Don’t tell me demons don’t have pajamas.” Remy walked over to his dresser and lightly pushed Logan aside, opening a drawer and scrabbling around for some dayclothes for him to wear (and for some that might fit Logan, just to make xem look slightly less like a nerd).

“We do not,” Logan confirmed, nodding, “although the concept is not unfamiliar. We simply have no need for sleeping clothes when we do not do any sleeping.”

“Whatever.” Remy rolled their eyes and tossed Logan a wad of clothing. “Just go into the bathroom and put those on already, gurl. I gotta get to class, and I’m assuming you’re coming with since you’re, like, stuck with me or bound or whatever this is.”

“But I am already dressed,” came Logan’s befuddled reply.

“Oh, please. You’re not wearing that on my watch, gurl.” Remy shamelessly unbuttoned and stripped off his pajama shirt, sliding on a soft, casual gray tee. They untied their drawstring pajama pants and began to slide them down their legs.

Logan whirled away, xyr cheeks turning surprisingly red for a demon. Weren’t they supposed to be all over stuff like that?

“Shy, huh?” Remy teased, slipping on jeans and grabbing for their faux-leather jacket from the back of their desk chair. “Whatever happened to the whole sexy demon stereotype thing, hmm? Not that you aren’t sexy in your own dorky nerd way,” he added, enjoying watching the flush gather around the back of Logan’s neck.

“I, ahm,” Logan stammered, hugging Remy’s clothes tightly to xyr chest. “I am afraid that...I am not one of those types of demons.” Xe peeked behind xem at Remy and, seeing them fully dressed once more, turned around, shoulders stiff. “So if that is what you are expecting—”

“Nah, not really.” Remy shrugged, slipping on their shoes, not missing how Logan’s stiff posture relaxed somewhat upon hearing those words. “Although remind me to ask you about, like, demon types and shit like that once I’ve had my coffee,” he said. There was another topic to be noted for later discussion. “I’m not ready to have important convos or existential crises till I’m on my third cup.”

“Duly noted,” Logan honest-to-god (or was it honest-to-satan?) pulled a notebook and a pen out of nowhere and began scrawling something down. “I shall keep this in mind in regard to our future conversations. Additionally, I will endeavor to remember to bring up that particular subject later on.”

“Oh my god,” Remy groaned. They really got stuck with what had to be the only nerd demon in existence, didn’t they. “C’mon, babe. I’m late to class, and I want coffee. Get dressed.” They looked Logan up and down once more. “At least lose the tie, please. I’m a college kid. You’re not one of my professors.”

“What?” Logan said, affronted. Xe grasped xyr midnight blue tie loosely in one hand. “I do not wish to ‘lose’ it. It is a necktie. It is for serious demons. I am a serious demon.”

Remy snickered as they picked up the backpack lying by the bedroom door.. “You’re, like, a total invalid, that’s what you are.”

“I am not!” Logan shrilled behind them, offended. “Serious! Necktie!”

But Remy was already out the door, grinning triumphantly and thoroughly ignoring xem.

-

Naturally, they had to make a stop at the coffee shop on their way to campus. Remy was already late enough, so it wasn’t like he was going to make it to his first lecture even if they tried. Might as well face the rest of the day with coffee by their side. Caffeine was their only true friend.

Remy had already ordered and paid for his own coffee before it occurred to them that Logan might want some, too.

“Shit, do demons drink coffee?” Remy asked, turning to Logan, who thankfully had lost the necktie after they argued nonstop over it on the walk to the shop. Xe was standing behind Remy, observing as Emile worked the espresso machine. “So, do you? Drink coffee? And d’you want any?”

“Yes, if you do not mind,” Logan answered. “Some coffee would be most welcome.”

“Lit.” Remy turned back to the front counter, ignoring the questioning noise Logan made at his use of slang. “Sorry, Em, but could we get a medium coffee too?” He looked at Logan, appraising. “You look like a dark roast kinda guy.”

“You most certainly may!” Emile smiled cheerfully at the two and popped a lid on Remy’s drink. “It’ll be on the house, Mixter Demon, sir.” He winked over-exaggeratedly in that way that only he could pull off without looking like a total fool. “Do you want any room for cream and sugar?”

“No, thank you. I take my coffee black,” Logan deadpanned. “Like my soul.”

Emile nearly dropped the cup he was trying to hand off to Remy.

“W-wait, really?” Remy asked, wondering if he needed to get worried. Was he going to end up with a black soul or whatever because of this unintentional deal gone wrong? If he was, did he even care?

Logan rolled xyr eyes, and hey! Eyeroll buddies. So the two did have one thing in common after all. “No, of course not. The concept is ridiculous.”

Relaxing slightly, Remy nodded. “Yeah. Kinda is, gurl.” They sipped at their coffee—today he had gone for a mocha, figuring the extra caffeine in the espresso would be very much needed to survive the day with any amount of sanity still remaining.

The two fell silent for a moment, watching quietly as Emile bustled around and poured coffee into a to-go cup for Logan, then:

“Besides, I don’t have a soul,” Logan added.

Remy spit out their iced mocha.

-

“Okay,” Remy said, voice muffled as he used his teeth to fidget with his reusable straw. They looked both ways before grabbing at Logan’s arm and dragging xem across the street in front of the coffee shop. “So. Tell me about demon-y things.”

Logan paused mid-step, and Remy swore. “Oh my—gurl, wait till we’re done crossing the street. Maybe you can’t die, but I still can.” He hurried the demon across the street. “Walk ’n talk, babe, walk ’n talk. I do technically have someplace to be.”

“Actually.” Out of the corner of their eye, Remy saw Logan push xyr glasses up further on the bridge of xyr nose. Nervous tic, maybe? “About that.”

“About what,” Remy said flatly.

Logan seemed to get smaller, folding in on xemself somewhat as the two of them walked down the sidewalk. Xe fully took xyr glasses off, rubbing firmly at the lenses with the hem of xyr shirt, seeming reluctant to speak. Eventually, though, xe finally opened xyr mouth, and the words that tumbled out baffled Remy and shook him beyond belief.

“You cannot die.”

Remy nearly dropped their coffee.

After a moment of madly scrambling to keep his grip on the slippery, condensated surface of his coffee cup, Remy turned to fully face Logan. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You, erm.” Logan peered through the lenses of xyr glasses, deemed them still dirty, fervently wiped at them with the bottom of xyr shirt again. “Technically you can still die, and you will. Just...you can only perish of natural causes—that is, of old age, or perhaps a particularly nasty illness.”

Remy blinked. Wh...what.

Apparently satisfied with xyr cleaning of xyr glasses, Logan carefully fitted them back onto xyr face. Xe abruptly continued walking, forcing Remy to keep in motion as well to keep Logan from straying off-track on the way to campus.

“Due to the...unfortunate extenuating circumstances of our deal, we did not have the chance to configure the details of it,” Logan elaborated. “As such, our contract with each other has resulted in the...shall we say, the default?” Xe pondered xyr words for a moment. “Yes, ‘default’ suffices, given our context.”

“I—how?” Remy managed to push a word and a half out of his choked throat, his fumbly mouth. Honestly, that was a pretty good number, considering the situation. “What’s the—so what’s the default, then?”

“If you happen to be fatally injured or similarly, our deal mandates that I heal you or, at the very least, provide you with the means of survival,” Logan explained. Xe smiled for the first time—but it was a grim, knowing smile that Remy didn’t find themself liking in the slightest. “Of course, ensuring that you survive does not require anything beyond a bare minimum.”

Logan’s face was weirdly shadowed for someone standing in the middle of the street on a sunny day. “Should I choose to, I could make your life quite miserable.”

Remy swallowed.

“However.” Logan fixed xyr unwavering gaze on Remy. “As you have not given me reason to do as such, we shall hope that it does not come to such measures.”

Unable to do anything other than nod, Remy rapidly shook his head up and down, not unlike a bobblehead. Logan had seemed fairly harmless at first, even for an apparent demon, but now...oh, boy. They were very much not keen to get on xyr bad side.

“The only fatal injuries that I am not required to heal are self-inflicted ones,” Logan said, albeit more quietly than xyr previous words had been. “If it is a human’s wish to take themself out of this world, it is...not my duty to interfere.”

“Oh. Uh.” Remy licked his dry lips nervously. “You won’t have to worry about that here. I don’t think.” Their throat was dry—any lingering wetness from the coffee had disappeared quite quickly when Logan had first begun speaking. But—oh, wait, they were an idiot. There was still more coffee left.

The two of them walked past the front sign of Remy’s university, officially on campus. Remy jerkily lifted his iced coffee to his lips, taking the tiniest of tiny sips. “Is there...any way to, like, break a deal or something?” Remy asked nervously as he guided the two of them towards the art building.

Logan sighed. “If I were an angel, perhaps I would be kind enough to look for a loophole,”—and, what the fuck, angels existed too? which, like, made sense, considering demons were a thing, but still, what the fuck—“however, deals are permanent contracts, and in return for ensuring your survival, our deal promises me your soul upon your death.” Logan sighed again, more heavily this time. “So as...irritating as you may be, and as much of an inconvenience as you no doubt will become, I am not particularly inclined to break a deal that benefits me in such a way.”

“Wh....” Remy didn’t exactly want to know the answer to what he was about to ask; all the same, they felt like they had to ask. “What are you going to do with my soul when I...when you finally get it?”

Logan stared wordlessly at Remy, and Remy did not like the expression on xyr face, no siree, they did not. “Are you sure that you would like to know?” xe asked lowly, and Remy had never been more aware of the fact that his new (unwilling) companion was, in fact, a dangerous, all-powerful demon.

“Nope!” Remy all but shrieked, turning on their gay speed-walking powers and moving ahead of Logan, now all the more anxious to get to class. “No, I do not want to know! I do not want to even think about it! I don’t want to think about any of this, actually, so you know what, we are officially closing this discussion topic for, like, ever! I just want to live my life, holy shit!”

Logan frowned. “How is shit holy?” xe questioned, and this time, Remy really did drop his iced mocha—or, well, the little that was left of it.

“Oh my—actually, no, never mind,” Remy muttered sullenly, picking the cup up from the ground. They extracted their straw from the cup, wiping it off on their jeans before they shoved it into the side pocket on his backpack. “Babe, you are, like, literally hopeless.”

“Naturally,” Logan responded evenly. “I am a demon. We have no need for hopes and other ridiculous goings-on.”

“I—ugh!” Remy threw his used coffee cup into the trash can with more force than was strictly necessary. They all but stomped over to the door of the art building, yanking the door open. “Nope. I am totally not dealing with this right now. I’m going to class for the next ninety or however many minutes, and you”—they jabbed a finger in Logan’s direction—“are being put in time-out. You can sit out in the hallway like a lost puppy or like, like a kid at the principal’s office or...or something!”

Logan blinked owlishly behind his glasses. (Which, why would a demon even need glasses if they have magic? Xe really was trying too hard for a nerd aesthetic, if you asked Remy.) “But I am not—”

“NO!” Remy all but shrieked, practically running into his animation classroom and slamming the door behind him.

Logan stared after them, flummoxed.

.

.

.

Prologue || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six

*

lol this sat finished and edited on my hard drive for a week before I remembered that oh, yeah, I do kinda have to actually post it to share it with y’all, don’t I.

Want to be added onto my taglist? Shoot me an ask or a message here or via my other social media!

[scriptureofashes]

Can I make a prompt request? Peter (a student) is stressing majorly over an essay he has to have finished in a few days, and he’s sleep deprived. After his 3rd all nighter, while pouring his 5th or so cup of coffee, he dozes off and pours hot coffee all over his hand. He plays it off as a joke and tries to go back to typing, but Tony and Steve are having absolutely none of it.

okay okay okay I’m sorry this took a while but it came out longer than I expected so I hope that makes up for it

(also my computer sucks, it keeps rebooting and deleting my Word drafts so I had to switch to Google docs aijsuhdhdudhdhsydhu)

side note: I assumed you wanted a stony fic, so I’ll just go ahead and say that this is post CW and IW, everything is dealt with, apologies were made, you know the drill. Also, since you just said Peter is a student, I went ahead and toyed with the concept of Peter in college, if that’s okay??

Peter always thought it was a joke. An exaggeration, he means. Something blown out of proportion to make college life sound harder than it actually is, to the point where it was pretty much a running gag rather than an actual phenomenon.

Staring at his laptop, eyes white-hot and fingers vibrating on the keyboard, he realizes he was wrong. He was so wrong about what he thought college was going to be like. Easier, a place where you’re in your element and all that prejudice you suffer through high school becomes utter and complete crap, and a time your life starts to forge itself at last.

He was so, so wrong about the easier part, college really is the land of hell and sleep deprivation, he thinks to himself, and cracks open his third can of Redbull. The numbers 3:07 stare at him almost impatiently from the corner of his too bright screen, as does the blinking text cursor on his newly opened Google document. Keyword: newly.

He has an essay due on Friday, which is in two days’ time, and he hasn’t even started it yet.

He’s been so caught up between his surprisingly demanding job at the Bugle as a photographer for Spider-Man and his work as Spider-Man every night that he fell behind on a monstrous pile of college essays and papers for all of his classes, due in the same week.

He doesn’t know when he started to carry coffee around everywhere, or how he’s pulled more than a couple all-nighters after some particular nights of rough crime-fighting. Then there’s May at the hospital, a can of worms he’s not opening.

He’s been managing, to say the least. Meet required attendance. Go to eight AM lectures. Report to Mr. Stark (after the events of the so called Infinity Wars he now reports to him directly) about Spider-Man. Report to Jameson. Get screamed at. Check up on May. Get possibly screamed at again. Put on the suit and patrol the city. Get beat at. Stumble into his dorm room (with new scrapes and bruises over the healing ones). Check due work. Drink coffee or energy drink (or both, twice). Get to work.

Lather, rinse and repeat.

But it’s either this, or give up one of the following: college or Spider-Man. And his thoughts on that go without saying, so he just sighs, shakes his head to clear the psychedelic outbreak of colors in his eyes, and burns the midnight oil.

During lunch on Thursday, Mr. Stark texts him an invitation to hang out at the compound. He’s attended a nine AM lecture and his follow-up morning classes on zero sleep, has yet to eat something since coming back from patrol last night and is on his way to visit Aunt May.

He misses his mentor. He still keeps in touch with Ned despite different college choices, occasionally passes MJ on some hallway and Harry’s inbox is always available, but it’s Tony Stark he can talk to about anything and everything. He knows what he’s been through. He knows what it’s like. He knows.

Aunt May has always been his rock—a guiding hand at his right. Mr. Stark’s is at his left.

Peter texts back his acceptance, figuring he can just take his laptop with him to the compound and finish his essay there.

“Didn’t you pick the place and the movie last time?”

“Yes, yes I did, because my good tastes take us to the best Italian restaurants in the city and movies with actual plot instead of some Morgan Freeman wannabe narrated documentary about mosquitoes.”

“That was one time, Tony.”

“My pants legit zipped themselves up, Rogers. Sexy beard or no sexy beard. Mosquitoes.”

Peter regrets a lot of things in his life. Uncle Ben is a no-brainer. Hopping on a donut spaceship is another. Going to college is now one of them, and so is his decision to study biophysics, which comes with the one to stay up for three nights in a row fueled by nothing except four cups of coffee and at least five different energy drinks.

He also regrets being stupid enough to get bit by a radioactive spider. His enhanced metabolism can go jump in the lake, because it makes the caffeine he’s been relying on utterly useless. He’s downed enough coffee to induce cardiac arrest—were he a bit more on the human side—yet the buzz he needs lasts only enough for him to type about fifteen words in before exhaustion comes back to rear its ugly head.

It’s happening now, he notes, as words swim in his eyes and the sound of Mr. Stark and Captain Rogers on banter about their eventful dates drowns out. He grasps the Starbucks Happy bought for him when picking him up, and it takes him more than he’d like to admit to register the hot splash and the sudden, searing pain in his right hand.

“Why are we even discussing this? You said you wanted to see Ocean’s 8 last thurs—Peter!”

Oh, so the scream really was from him.

“Jesus Christ, what the hell happened?”

Mr. Stark is off the couch’s arm and by his side before Peter can blink away his tears, holding and inspecting the back of his hand. Peter just shakes his head and his burning hand, more concerned about the coffee he just spilled all over his keyboard.

“Nothing! I just spilled coffee on my hand, it’s no big deal.”

“You just spilled hot coffee on your hand, no big deal my ass.”

Mr. Stark starts to pull him from his seat on the kitchen island, and Peter wants to reassure him it’s fine, he’s fine, even as he feels his hand blister and tears run down his face. He needs to finish this essay, he’s been slacking too much, his grades—

It’s when he hears water running and Captain Rogers saying, “Even Spider-Man needs to rest, kid,” that he realizes he’s been talking out loud. Mr. Stark’s hand is back on his and holding it under the water, ice cold and mind-blowingly relieving. Peter’s breath, uneven and like so unnoticed, steadily slows down enough for him to sigh and rub at his eyes.

Mr. Stark stares at him through the whole process. “When’s the last time you slept, Peter?”

“I’m not sure,” he lies. Mr. Stark gives him a look. “Three days ago?”

“Three days ago?”

“How have you managed to stay awake?” Captain Rogers asks. He’s cleaning up the coffee on the table and the computer. He’s also frowning at the screen.

“Coffee? Like,” Peter rubs his eyes again, “Lots of it. About… five cups a day, I think.”

“Five cups?” Mr. Stark repeats, turning off the faucet. He’s angry. “You’ve been drinking five cups of coffee a day? Kid, do you even realize what that does do you?”

“Uh, pot meet kettle?”

His mouth actually snaps shut at that. And anyone else would pass it for imagination, but Peter hears Rogers snort from his spot in front of Peter’s laptop.

“Okay, no. It’s one thing for me to do it. And in my defense, I don’t do it as often now.” Mr. Stark produces some sort of ointment tube out of a cabinet and wastes no time in rubbing it onto Peter’s hand. “You, however, are too young to start doing that already.”

Peter swallows back a remark on Mr. Stark’s age and says, “I had no choice, okay? You know that my metabolism is sort of shot through the roof. One or two wasn’t gonna cut it.”

“And you couldn’t manage to sleep a couple of hours in three days to recharge and write the essay?”

“No. It’s been… I… Between eight and nine AM lectures, patrolling the city and Aunt May in the hospital, I just… I didn’t have time, I kept trying but I always get back to my dorm so late it’s practically early, but my grade depends on this essay—”

“Okay, okay, okay.” Mr. Stark’s free hand rubs his shoulder the moment Peter’s anxiety makes a clear stand. “I understand, kid, I understand. But you’re allowed to cut back if your grades are slipping. You know that. You didn’t cut back in high school and it wasn’t pretty, remember? You have to cut back.”

Peter nods his head along. “Yes, yes I do, I know, but the due date is tonight at midnight and I haven’t even met the minimum required words, and I still need to visit Aunt May—”

“What’s your degree, Peter?” Captain Rogers interrupts smoothly. “If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

“Uh, biophysics.”

Rogers nods. “And what’s the essay about?”

“Ah, well, you see—”

“Honey, you know I mean no offense when I say I might be of more help there—”

“Yes, I know, it’s okay. It’s just that,” and Rogers looks like he wants to smile but tightens his lips instead, “I’m reading some of what you wrote, Peter, and I’m pretty sure the recipe for chicken nuggets has nothing to do with Physics.”

Peter stares. Mr. Stark stares.

“What.”

“Okay, so here’s what we’re gonna do,” Mr. Stark starts, now wearing a similar expression to the Captain’s, already maneuvering Peter around the kitchen counter. “We’re gonna get you some chicken nuggets—”

Peter laughs a bit too hard at that. His burn is now a dull throb, thanks to his advanced healing and Mr. Stark’s quick reaction.

“Now, seriously. We’re gonna get you to bed so you can sleep like the dead, I’m going to go through your work and help you out—”

“No, Mr. Stark, you don’t have to do that—”

“I said I was gonna help you out, as in leave a few pointers. I’m not going to write it for you, kid. Lord knows you can probably do a better job than me.”

Peter opens his mouth to counter that, but then it’s Rogers guiding him out of the room instead, Mr. Stark sat in front of his laptop. The Captain’s hand on his shoulder is gentle, so gentle he’s remembering how tired he is. It’s even gentler when he sways on the spot and it steadies him.

“You’re going to get some sleep while Tony works his magic,” Cap says with a reassuring smile. Mr. Stark is already typing as he speaks. “We’ll explain everything to your aunt, she’ll understand. And we’ll wake you up before midnight, enough for you to finish this essay and for us to have a long overdue talk about how to properly balance your school life and Spider-Man.”

“I’ll arrange a time schedule for you and all that jazz,” Mr. Stark adds. “Complete with tips on how to control one’s spidery alter-ego, how to study something that one twerp professor makes you hate with every fiber of your being and how to keep yourself from murdering your snoring roommate.”

Peter blinks. “You listen to my voicemails?”

“I happened to stumble upon that one. And the one about how you scaled a building just to get to class in time and climbed in through the window five seconds before the professor and the security guard arrived. Now that’s a story I gotta hear.”

He stops typing and stares at Peter for a few long moments.

“Go catch some Z’s, kid. You’ll be okay.”

Then he goes back to typing.

As he’s steered in the direction of his complimentary compound bedroom, Cap leans in and whispers, “Yes, he does listen. And he always reads your texts, by the way, even if he doesn’t always reply.”

“I can hear you two conspiring, Steve!”

They reach the open door of his bedroom, the bed so inviting Peter nearly throws himself on it, shoes and jeans be damned.

On his way back, Cap ruffles his hair.

“Sleep well, Peter. Everything will be okay.”

Later, as he works the last two paragraphs of a much more impressive essay on zilch caffeine and six hours of sleep, Mr. Stark at his side with a mug of tea much like his own and the Captain’s, a half-empty family box of KFC and the Discovery channel on background, Peter thinks it really might just be.

[chaosbcrne]

TAGGED BY: @blue-pincushion​ thank youuu TAGGING: @brokenweapon​, @hcrwish​, @bouncepads​, @heartfelt-silver​, @last-fxstbump​

—    BASICS.

▸     IS    YOUR    MUSE    TALL    /    SHORT    /    AVERAGE ? ...he’s on the shorter side, though I guess not that far off average for mobians/hedgehogs. definitely short compared to humans though, and tiny for a Black Arms. he appears a bit taller than he actually is, though, because his shoes give him two inches. he’s 3′4″ with them on, 3′2″ without

▸      ARE    THEY    OKAY    WITH    THEIR    HEIGHT ?

yea. i mean i feel like he’s been enduring a bit more teasing than usual lately because of it, but it’s not something that bugs him past that. he spent several years on the ARK where everything was built for humans so he got very used to dealing with his smaller size, climbing on counters and shelves to reach stuff, looking up at people, things like that. his size definitely doesn’t feel like a problem in human environments, let alone mobians’

▸      WHAT’S    THEIR    HAIR FUR    LIKE ?

very versatile, much like his incessant quilling his fur is constantly adapting to change, mostly in temperature, growing longer when it’s cold, thicker when it’s rainy, shedding when it’s warm and so on. it always has a decent enough layer though, you can never see skin beneath his black fur unless it’s been ripped/burnt/cut off, so I guess in that sense its default state is considerably more furnished than that of the average hedgehog

his thicker white fur follows the same kind of behavior, it grows wider in winter to cover most of his upper body and throat and essentially serves as a natural scarf so he can breathe okay even when he’s dashing against sub-zero winds, and it sheds back down to a small patch that barely covers his chest in summer to reduce risks of overheating

▸     DO    THEY    SPEND    A    LOT    OF    TIME    ON    THEIR    HAIR     /    GROOMING ?

not... really ? I’d say he settles for a quick but thorough daily shower, he’s not one for grooming much past that because he already sheds like crazy and that would speed up the process even more ? if anything, he might pat down his white fur a bit because it really fluffs up when it air-dries

▸      DOES   YOUR   MUSE   CARE   ABOUT   THEIR   APPEARANCE   /   WHAT    OTHERS    THINK ?

he didn’t for a long time, but I think learning his color scheme was due to Black Arms genes may have changed that a little; he doesn’t like the idea of being seen as one of them, that’s why he avoids taking his gloves off around others or show off his teeth much or doesn’t like eating in public, i could go on for a while but basically he didn’t mind his black and red colors and his threatening complex until he learned he got that from man-eating aliens,

over the years i think he’s come to terms with it for the most part because black is real useful on stealth missions and for getting that extra warmth on sunny days and claws can come in real handy sometimes when you’re missing certain tools, but, yeah i think there’s probably still a bit of lingering self-consciousness there

—    PREFERENCES.

▸     INDOORS    OR    OUTDOORS ?

hmm I think he has a slight preference for outdoors just because it’s less confined and ever-changing, but he wouldn’t spit on indoors either you know sometimes you just need some place to take a break and where there’s a limited possibility of things that could happen

▸     RAIN    OR    SUNSHINE ? both. both are addictive when you spent your early life where you could experience neither of those, in fact i’d say those exact two things are responsible for shadow growing/shedding fur out of season because he’s the kind to just stand in the rain when it’s cold or in the sun when it’s hot just because the feeling of rain through his quills or sunshine in his fur will always be like a bit of a novelty to him ▸     FOREST    OR    BEACH ?   hhh f...f.....beach probably. both are fine but i feel like the beach is one of those cliche things maria especially wanted to experience and talked about all the time so he just have a slightly better preconceived idea of it ▸     PRECIOUS    METALS    OR    GEMS ?   im just gonna link you to the lucky charm post that should give you a clear idea ▸     FLOWERS    OR    PERFUMES ? flowers hands down. they’re colorful and pretty and smell good and are natural. maria would have loved them and also earlier this year rouge decorated the whole observatory in the ARK with them to surprise shadow and it was Good ok ▸     PERSONALITY    OR    APPEARANCE ?   personality. yeah people can be nice to look at but if that’s all they got going for them they’re not worth much ▸     BEING    ALONE    OR    BEING    IN    A    CROWD ?   alone. i don’t think i have much explaining to do here lmao he’s just not a people person. small groups can be okay and so are a good few people, like, he can deal with a crowd or otherwise large number of people in one place but he’s definitely not gonna enjoy it as much as just being alone ▸     ORDER    OR    ANARCHY ?   I think Gerald’s (and therefore his) idea of an ideal world was a place where they’re one and the same ? a world where people are free to do what makes them happy, to not be limited in any way shape or form but where such a freedom would lead to people being selfless and generous enough to not throw it all into chaos ? but given that’s not really something remotely feasible at this point order is probably the best options in his books given what he’s seen some people do once some of their restraints were removed ▸     PAINFUL    TRUTHS    OR    WHITE    LIES ? 

painful truths. unless it concerns him revealing stuff about himself that he just doesn’t want people to know about, he’s always gonna be blunt with people and he expects the same courtesy in return. shadow’s sick of all the lies and insincerity a lot of people go to for no good reason and he’d rather you just tell him the truth head-on

▸     SCIENCE    OR    MAGIC ?   chaos energy is where it’s at. i don’t know what it counts as, i’m assuming it’s something between the two ? gerald, tails, eggman and probably a whole lot of other people managed to harness it to create life or power machinery and such, so it can be useful in terms of science, but it’s also something so unstable and unquantifiable and tricky to control or even understand, and being able to do so is considered a power instead of knowledge - which makes it sound more like magic. either way, that’s what shadow believes in and relies on - not that i expect that to be a surprise to anyone, considering ▸     PEACE    OR    CONFLICT ?   he strives for peace but i don’t think he’d know what to do with himself if that was ever achieved tbh ▸     NIGHT    OR    DAY ?  

either. shadow’s not operating on a regular day/night cycle so the two are basically interchangeable to him, for better or worse. i wrote more about this over here

▸     DUSK    OR    DAWN ?

again, the two aren’t really different to him

▸     WARMTH    OR    COLD  ?

hmm warmth probably. he’s definitely built to tolerate cold more than warmth but the general concept of warmth is just associated with more pleasant feelings in general

▸     MANY   ACQUAINTANCES    OR    A    FEW    CLOSE    FRIENDS ?

im gonna say like the bbff, points at team dark

▸     READING    OR    PLAYING    A    GAME ?  

it really depends on the mood he’s in honestly. i’ve explained before(x) that shadow is actually quite fond of reading, but if he’s too restless for one reason or another some kind of game will be better for his nerves. or just, you know, if team dark is stuck on standby at HQ and they’re waiting around to be called in

—    QUESTIONNAIRE.

▸      WHAT    ARE    SOME    OF    YOUR    MUSE’S    BAD    HABITS ? - letting people provoke him very easily - always talking down on people at first - pushing people away 24/7 - not having an established eating or sleeping schedule he can keep track of - crossing his arms all the damn time

▸      HAS    YOUR    MUSE    LOST    ANYONE    CLOSE    TO    THEM ?      HOW    HAS    IT    AFFECTED    THEM ? 

hahahaha

oh boy

▸      WHAT    ARE    SOME    FOND    MEMORIES    YOUR    MUSE    HAS ?  

- the countless hours spent in the observatory with maria - early team dark times when he had good enough days to just focus on his goal and not worry about everything else, probably mostly around grand metropolis/casino park hours, when they were starting to be a proper team but things hadn’t gotten too serious/difficult yet - when a certain hedgehog came back to life and immediately turned to him and silver for additional help. i’ll go into this more some other time but let’s just say that meant a great deal to him - that crush 40 concert rouge took him and omega to - quite a few simple moments spent with his team that wouldn’t have looked like much to many others but that he remembers clearly feeling fulfilled and happy right then and there - a certain night when things felt Bad and a certain hedgehog showed up and made them feel good again - spraining zero’s wrist

▸     IS    IT    EASY    FOR    YOUR    MUSE    TO    KILL ?

if we’re talking physically, yes. if we’re talking emotionally,

not as much as he makes it look like honestly. death is something very permanent that has been the cause of possibly the biggest trauma he’s experienced in his life - he does not take that lightly and does not inflict it when he sees an alternative. episode shadow in forces can go suck a lemon

▸      WHAT’S    IT    LIKE    WHEN    YOUR    MUSE    BREAKS    DOWN ?

that’s happened once and that’s a drabble in the works so yall are just gonna have to be patient for this one

▸      IS    YOUR    MUSE    CAPABLE    OF    TRUSTING    SOMEONE    WITH    THEIR    LIFE ? 

hhh it’s. difficult. but it’s definitely something team dark has earned at this point. literally all three of them have explicitly proven that they would give up their lives for either of the others so it’s safe to say there’s absolute trust between them now

▸      WHAT’S    YOUR    MUSE    LIKE    WHEN    THEY’RE    IN    LOVE ?

oh boy it’s bad lmao

shadow is very unfamiliar with the concept of romantic love as a whole so he has no idea how he’s supposed to behave with the subject of his affection. remember that picture where he’s holding sonic’s hand and staring at it and presumably has been doing so for like ten minutes ? yeah

social norms aside what would come naturally to him is a very, very intense protectiveness - that’s his primary response when it comes to anyone he’s attached to and romantic ties would be no different. he would be very defensive of them verbally but also protective-bordering-on-possessive physically

he also pays very close attention, i’ve already said it countless times but he’s an amazing listener and whoever he’s smitten with would likely be someone he could watch and listen to intently for very long periods of time. he’ll never be the most talkative but don’t let that fool you into thinking he won’t enjoy engaging conversations with the person he’s interested in

aside from that i tend to think that shadow would be a very unintentional sap because, again, he’s not familiar with whatever’s considered normal in a relationship. so he’ll be the kind to let the other know he’s thinking of them in various ways or just show up and surprise them with something they might want, all completely shamelessly and like it’s no big deal because if it pleases them why should he hold back ? (of course that’s all in a hypothetical situation where it’s solely between him and his significant other-- if there’s other people involved he’s gonna be a lot more subtle/shy about it if he dares doing anything out of the ordinary at all)

his affection is hard to earn but once you have it he’ll be loyal to you for life honestly

[faiteach]

A Wild Love Interest Has Appeared

[I can almost guarantee that everything I’m about to speculate on is nothing more than a sparkling conspiracy dreamt up in the loneliest spaces of my mind.]

Have you ever met someone and the timing just feels like Fate? And of course, that rational half of your brain starts firing the klaxons to warn you not to fall too far into the Fantasy because when has anything that felt like Fate ever turned out the way you expected? 

While I was on vacation in April, my coworkers hired someone new. His initials are the same as another person I write about, so I’m going to call him Aegis. He’s 5 years my junior, tall, dominican, rocks the bald look, fit, warm dark eyes, and a megawatt smile. In fact, he’s so attractive that I’m not even nervous around him because it’s so undeniably obvious that he’s out of my league. I have no reason to worry, there’s no possible way he could find me attractive so I don’t have to try. Plus, we work together. When they first hired AG (tall, also bald, blue eyes, average white guy but sweet and intelligent [later turned out he’s an unsympathetic, judgmental dick when it comes to mental illness booo]) I developed an unfortunate crush which, in the process of seeking absolution for my guilt about feeling that way, I confessed to my boss and my coworker JA during a night when we were drunk. JA, being practical and also having zero faith in my ability to handle romance, dissuaded me from pursuing anything so close to home. “Don’t shit where you sit”, the old adage goes. I never intended to pursue it. I just felt bad about it. She helped me feel so bad about it, that I definitely let it go. 

And then along comes Aegis. 

Well, you can bet I felt JA’s eyes on me during those first few days. Watching like a bitter old crone to ensure there was no whiff of hanky-panky between me and the new guy. She needn’t have worried. Certainly I found him attractive, but the fires of infatuation remained dormant. My expectations were clear and reasonable. He was my new, objectively handsome but virtually unknown, coworker. 

About 4 weeks go by. We’ve all bonded a bit during office hours by now. We joke around as a group, we drink a bit on Fridays, we all smoke weed (except BVK) so we bond over shows we like to watch while we’re high. One Wednesday night, JA and I are supposed to attend an event for a separate organization we’re both part of. I meet up with her, our boss and Aegis at a bar after they wrap up a client photoshoot. I knew right then that JA and I were not going to make it to the event. I was dressed to the 9′s in high heels, hair perfectly curled, makeup perfectly done. Aegis moves from his place at one end of the table to sit beside me on the other end. He gets me a beer. While the boss & JA chat with their videographer, Aegis and I talk relatively alone for the first time. 

You ever have a conversation with somebody that flows so easy you forget that time is even a thing? 

It’s like we were teammates, partners, comrades, I can’t describe it but it’s a chemistry I almost never feel. Synergy. Talking to him was, and is, so easy. Every time I made him laugh he seemed delighted and surprised. At one point, in response to something I said, he held my arm and put his head on my shoulder. For that brief moment, I was frozen in place. JA was watching, most likely she saw the look that flickered across my face. I wonder if it looked more like shock, or fear? 

That Friday, Aegis and I end up alone together at the end of the day. We’d already opened some beers for Beer Friday (the weekly thing we do as an office), so we were just hanging out, presumably until we each finished. I mentioned wanting to walk Jamie in dog parks closer to work and, since he’s native to the area, he mentions a place he knows about that he’d be willing to take me to. I ask him (expecting a “no”) if he wants to go right then. To my surprise he says sure. We stop by his house to grab some weed, drive over to the park and smoke before heading out down the path. I figured it would be a short walk, but we end up a little lost in the woods for a while. We hardly notice because we’re talking, getting to know each other the whole time. I’m surprised and confused that we never seem to run out of things to say.

The following Wednesday is just me, Aegis and BVK in the office. We end up staying late watching The Thirteenth Amendment on Netflix and having a very thoughtful discussion about race in America. When our boss and JA return from the meetings of the day, JA & BVK head home but our boss stays behind with his wife to jump into the discussion with us. The boss’s wife is already drunk and ends up going into a confusing drunk rant about JFK conspiracies. At a certain point, I make an effort to wrangle the conversation and demand a moment of uninterrupted speech to make my point. When she inevitably interrupts me, I don’t even think about shushing her with a finger. I’m so assertive about it, she stops talking immediately. (You should understand that our boss’s wife is a terrifying, but very cool woman. She’s in her 20s too, but very confident and aggressive, so me shushing her surprised everyone). This was also the day my dad disappeared for several hours so I ended up leaving shortly after to deal with that. 

This past Thursday, myself, our boss, JA and Aegis attended a very classy corporate event for a client where the Governor would be speaking. I’ve been sick and had considered not going but then I realized Aegis would be by himself in a new environment with our boss and JA who can be a little cliquey. When I got there, he greeted me with a relieved “Heyyy you!” 

We had time for a drink and a stroll through the outdoor patio before they started seating everyone for dinner. I mentioned that I may or may not have an entire box of tissues in my purse (on account of my lingering cold) and Aegis was reduced to giggles saying “You say the most random things Jess, its one of the things I love about you.” Color me shocked, of course. No one ever says such things to me. I took it as a general expression from someone who is open with his feelings but logged it away later, so that I could obsess over the slight hesitation in his voice before he said love--as if he was afraid I would take it too seriously, or because he was afraid I would realize he meant it? HAHA. Yes. 

Our boss and JA decided to go out for a cigarette and left me and Aegis to wait for them. 

“You thought I was kidding,” I said, slyly producing a full kleenex box from my huge purse. 

He practically fell down laughing, saying “Oh man, see I need more people like you in my life.” 

I probed for more detail---what did he mean? He tried to explain how his current friends lacked spontaneity and humor. Then he said something that, and I wish I could remember the words, sounded like “I try but they always say no,” or something similar. To which I replied, 

“Ah yes, I hear that often as well, especially at the end of the date.” 

He laughed, then turned to me with a sudden dubious expression and said, “Really??” 

“Well no, but only because I’m so persuasive,” I said jokingly, tossing my hair.

We eventually got to dinner, and sat through the speech. At the end, we went as a group to get a drink at the bar. Our boss and JA had to leave---he was helping her build a website for her wedding this October, so once again, Aegis and I were left alone together. 

I would normally expect someone in his position to say “Well, that’s it for me too, have a good night and drive safe.” 

But he didn’t. He asked me if I wanted to smoke, and I agreed. We went to my car and rolled a blunt. We got incredibly high. I told him the story of how I dated three of my friends in a row because it came up and he asked for more detail. It’s been a long time since I discussed my past with anyone, having finally learned to simply let sleeping dogs lie, but the confession came anyways. He told me about his past as a PCA, and the experience with a patient that drove him to quit. Shit got real deep. I think I fucked it up when I tried to lighten to mood--he seemed embarrassed to cry in front of me, no matter how much I assured him it was ok. 

If I did fuck it up he was quick to forgive me, because the conversation returned to more jovial things. He mentioned how much he admires me when I do things like shush our boss’s wife (like, we were laughing about it and he said I’m a badass essentially). He has no concept of me as an insecure person. To him, I’m as confident as they come. He said that I’m very persuasive, almost clairvoyant, that I “see what wants to happen and find a way to make it happen.” I didn’t understand what he meant at first, until I realized he was talking about a part of myself that I had always assumed was a fallacy of my own arrogance---my innate ability to read people and to act according to their needs. I was stunned and pleased by the observation, but I didn’t show it. We ended up talking until 11:30pm. When we said good-bye it was like neither of us really knew how, we hurried away from each other, shouting “BYE” over our shoulders. 

Yesterday was another Friday. We were all very tired from the night before. By the end of the day it was just me, Boss and Aegis. I think he felt bad about using my weed to roll the blunt the night before because Aegis brought his own and offered it to me and the Boss after 4pm. Since it was raining, we went up to the abandoned storage room with a door to the roof and stood by the open door to smoke. Boss went over to the far side of the room with his laptop to finish some projects while Aegis and I stood by the doorway and just talked, like we have become accustomed to doing. I forgot Boss was there until he came over an hour or so later and said, 

“I’m heading back downstairs, I don’t mind if you guys stay up here and hang out just....ya know.”

When I say Boss was acting weird as he said it, I mean he was acting very weird. You could assume “Just....ya know.” meant “Please remember to close the roof door when you come down” but the weird, snide look on his face said “Use a condom.” 

I hated it. 

You see, the night I confessed to liking AG, nearly two years ago, JA reacted by dissuading me. Boss reacted by hooking up with me as soon as I was drunk enough. Boss has been the only cock in the hen house for a few years now (AG is still on part-time but doesn’t work in office with us) and if I didn’t know any better I would say he was feeling latent jealousy over the way Aegis and I were bonding so easily. 

At this point, I’ve spent more time with the new guy outside of work than anyone else in the office. Not only that, but Aegis has a weird superpower when it comes to me. When I’m around him, I feel comfortable in a way that I don’t feel anywhere else in my life---except maybe when I’m completely alone. For some reason, around him I always know what to do and I always know what to say. The other day I tripped in front of him, fell to the floor, barrel-rolled, landed in a super chill pose like I meant to do it all and he couldn’t stop laughing saying, “Wow that was a whole lot of smooth that just came out of that.” 

I don’t know how or why exactly, but he always gets the best of me. 

We ended up going downstairs with Boss and heading home immediately after that. I didn’t wait to say goodbye to Aegis, I ran to the bathroom to blow my nose cause I was dying (I think I have a sinus infection) but Boss relayed his goodbye with a smirk on his face. I worry now that he and JA will be whispering to each other soon “Hm they have been spending an awful lot of time together, what do you think?” 

I have made no assumptions abut romance. I still believe Aegis is out of my league and that he’s self-aware enough to know it. But, from what he’s told me, it sounds like he’s in a similar situation to me. Gradually losing touch with old friends, growing apart from past relationships and finding yourself alone in your childhood home with no one left to turn to in any meaningful way. That, in and of itself, is probably why we get along so well. We’re both exhilarated to find someone we can talk to. Someone interesting who cares. Someone who isn’t distracted by hundreds of other, more fulfilling relationships. 

It really would be too complicated to date someone in an office so small. I have no intention of pursuing anything of the kind. But I had to reflect and record what I think has been a very special meeting of two souls who maybe needed each other, just a little bit. Mostly what I take from all of this is that, I really like who I am when I’m with Aegis. He really does bring out the best in me. His thoughtfulness and kindness revitalizes my faith in humanity and somehow enables me to be my wittiest, most confident, most relaxed self. If I get nothing else from this experience, it will be to ability to recognize the traits that I like about me and to cultivate them with lasting consistency.