#z stars 2nd gen

[museofreverie]

Chapter 05 ⋆ Under The Tree

WAYS OF FREEDOM┊Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Modern Fem!Reader ┊2nd POV

In which a chronically online Gen Z that went through the pandemic goes to the Attack on Titan Universe and tries her very best to change the ending with an "I can fix him" mentality.

⋆ CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 8k words

⋆ WARNINGS: manga spoilers, toxic parenting, mention of suicidal thoughts

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𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏.

AT THE TENDER age of six, people already asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up. It was only a mere question—a harmless one.

          What do you want to be when you grow up?

          "I want to be an astronaut!" You told them without much thought, wanting to reach the stars at such a young age.

          "I want to be a mermaid!" You declared, a smile so wide it can reach the deepest parts of the ocean.

          "I want to be a teacher! Oh! I want to be an artist!" Young you had said, proud of your first drawing full of scribbles.

          "I want to be a doctor!" You had said after treating your dolls as your patients.

          "I want to be a singer! A popstar!" You told your parents while singing parts from a song you heard in Hannah Montana.

          "I want to dance, mama! I want to dance!" You told your mother after you showed her a twirl and some moves you saw in Dance Moms.

          You wanted to be so many things.

          And so at the age of eight, one of your dreams came true. Your mother had enrolled you to attend ballet classes and later on, signed you up for contemporary dance.

          "It will be for your own good," she had said. "So make us proud."

          Every week, you attended ballet classes and recitals to showcase all that you had learned. In each practice session, you would push yourself further and further—going beyond what was expected of you.

          You wanted to make your mother proud. And so when she told young you that she'd sign you up for a dance competition, you didn't have any choice but to say yes. This will make her proud, you had thought. This will make her like you more.

          Throughout the whole process, your mother has always been encouraging and supportive, and she pushed you to try your hardest. She even went so far as to set up extra tutoring sessions to ensure you were ready for the competition.

          But you were just a child, and so you were bound to make mistakes.

          On the other hand, your mother didn't like it.

          "I'm so disappointed at you, Y/N!" she yelled and spanked your back.

          Failure was not an option for her. It was no secret that your mother prided you for your dancing and dancing only unless you aced your studies or else she'd think you're a failure. She was a very busy woman with little time for such things that did not pique her interest. You remembered trembling at her words, the weight of it crushing you and leaving you crying—feeling hollow and hopeless.

          You were just a child. Why weren't you allowed to be one?

          You grew increasingly exhausted from trying to please everyone around you—especially your parents. You knew this was not healthy, but you just couldn't help it. Your relentless need to make your parents proud drove you into a frenzied state of mind that blurred the line between reality and delusion. Your anxieties consumed your every thought, becoming more and more unbearable with each passing day. Your obsession to make your parents proud continued until it became unhealthy. You worked hard with dancing; practicing and honing your craft each day while trying to balance it with your studies. All of this continued as you grew up. You wanted to be the perfect child they always wanted. Something they could control.

          But not anymore.

          Growing up in your home was no easy feat. As much as you longed for a loving family, it felt like something was always missing. Some constant arguments and struggles seemed to never end. While there were moments of love and joy, the feeling of tension lingered in the air. Despite the ache in your heart, you kept pushing forward, hoping that one day all the pieces would fit together.

          You were just a child.

          However, as time passed, those dreams grew more limited—more practical, making it impossible to fulfill them all. Growing older and more astute about the world made it seem like it was fading from your control. The hard truths of life were beginning to sink in: some responsibilities needed to be taken care of first before pursuing your passions.

          Those dreams compiled themselves and got more and more—until you couldn't reach them anymore.

          And so here you were, years later—not knowing what to feel about facing the outside world again. You stood hesitantly outside of your door, the heavy weight of your backpack draped over one shoulder as you cautiously surveyed the street that basked in the darkness of the early morning. The streets were emptied as everyone was in quarantine. This used to be a lively neighborhood. For months, the world seemed to stop due to the pandemic. But little by little, people learned how to cope and fight it.

          You exhaled a deep breath as you fixed your mask, doubling it with another layer to ensure you won't catch the virus. You didn't want to be paranoid about it, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

          "You ready?"

          The owner of the voice caught your attention. It was your dad. Both of your parents had filed a leave at their work for this. He was packing everything you have in the rear before turning on the vehicle.

          You shrugged, not having the energy to answer at such an early hour. You called for your dog and motioned them to come inside the car with you. Once inside and the air conditioning was turned on, the car smelt of lavender and leather that made your eyes roll.

          Damn it. You forgot you have motion sickness. You said your prayers mentally to not be nauseous throughout the car ride.

          Just try to fall asleep, you told yourself, petting your dog beside you to calm your nerves. As the car drove, you slowly plugged your earphones in and felt the vibrations of the music slowly melting away your anxieties. Your eyes instantly followed the trees and houses that zoomed past while imagining yourself as the main character of a coming-of-age film and humming to the music:

Salt air, and the rust on your door

I never needed anything more

Whispers of "Are you sure?"

"Never have I ever before"

          Enthralled with the melody of the song august which was fitting for a road trip, you lost yourself in a dreamy trance that made you forget you were experiencing motion sickness. Before long, you had drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

          The raysof sunlight arrived, piercing the horizon and creating stripes of orange and yellow on the leather inside of the car as they bounced off the windows. A few hours already passed. Your father's gaze shifted between the road ahead and the rearview mirror, where he could just make out a glimpse of you and your dog dozing off in the backseat. He then cast an anxious glance in the direction of your mother's seat, which is to his right. Apparently, she had become preoccupied with playing Candy Crush on her phone.

          Your father gulped. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as he tried to find a way to start a conversation without any arguments. He cleared his throat. "Look, are you even sure it's safe already?" he said, his voice laced with concern.

          Tasty!

          Your mother only stole a glance at him, still playing Candy Crush.

          "I did my research and yes, it is," she replied. "My sister contacted someone to allow us to enter the perimeter — don't worry, we're taking extra precautions. I've brought tons of face masks and alcohol with me."

          "How about the house? You know it's been a while."

          Her shoulders tensed, her hands halting on touching her phone. She exhaled a sharp breath. "I know."

          She looked at him again. "That's why I hired someone to sanitize the entire place before we arrive. Mom didn't — she — she didn't—" her voice trailed. She tried to compose herself with a deep sigh. "Well, the doctor said she didn't get COVID at her place."

          Her vision blurred by the tears that started to form in her eyes; her mouth hung slightly ajar but no sound escaped. Her eyes trailed the familiar welcome sign outside her window that indicated all of you were nearing your destination.

          "I feel like it's my fault."

          Your dog's soft snores blended with the songs playing on the car radio.

          She continued, "If we were careful, then she could have been here with us—"

          "It's no one's fault," your father immediately cut her off. "We didn't know how dangerous this virus would be and how fast it would spread. We didn't even know about Mom's whereabouts when she told you she'll leave for a while during the height of this pandemic."

          "We should be safe here. I checked the news earlier, and it said that there are no cases around here. No cases. Zero. If only I listened. . ." Her eyes glanced at your sleeping form in the rearview mirror. Her head shook sideways trying to block out the thoughts that ran in her head. Clearing her throat, she tried to change the topic. "I don't know what's going on with her."

          "With whom?"

          She turned her head to your father, a look of disbelief now evident on her face. Her head pointed towards you and she lowered her voice. "With her."

          Oblivious about her situation with you, he continued to ask. "Why? What's the problem?"

          She stared at him.

          "Unbelievable," she said and face-palmed herself, turning off her phone. "What's the problem you say? Well, first of all, I'm trying so hard to be a better parent here, yet it's so obvious she tries to ignore me. There. That's your problem."

          "Oh."

          "Oh? Oh? That's all you can say? Oh? She talks to you more than me. You talk to her."

          "Why me?" he replied, his brows furrowed. "You know I'm busy with work. You know out of the two of us, it's me who needs to go outside and go to my workplace or else I'll lose my job and the place closes down. You do it. She'll listen to you if — you know — you don't scold her."

          At this, your mother scoffed at him. "And then, what? Do you think letting her talk back at me just because I scolded her for something solves the problem? No! Next thing I know she's trying to act like those kids who disrespect their parents and think it's cool. Well, I don't want that! She should know how to respect me. Kids nowadays are unbelievable, you know? She needs to be disciplined."

          Your father scrunched up his face. "That's not how you do it."

          "Then you do it!" she bellowed, remaining stubbornly remote. She wanted him to shoulder this burden too. After all, two of their children had already left for college, stuck in their dorms, and might take their time to come home. You were all they had left.

          Your father winced. He immediately checked up on you if you were still asleep. His shoulders slumped. "Alright, alright. I'll try."

          His focus returned to the road, the car slowing down as he pulled up and parked near the familiar house. "We're here."

          As he was about to wake you up, he witnessed you stir in your sleep, mumbling something he couldn't understand. He gently shook your shoulder and called your name. No answer. Another shook. Still no answer. He tried adding some force in shaking your shoulder.

          "Y/N wake up!"

           You jolted awake, heart racing and eyes wide in terror.

          "Huh? Where am I?!" you demanded, disoriented and confused.

          "Whoa, easy there!" said your dad, trying to calm your nerves.

          "Wha—" you looked around, fear running deep inside of you. Your actions stopped as your eyes caught a glimpse of your dyed hair. "What the—?"

          "Hey, you okay?"

          You dragged your attention away from your dyed hair to focus on the voice that spoke. Your chest rose and fell with rapid breaths and you tried removing your mask. "Dad? Is that you? But I thought I was in—"

          "Looks like you had a pretty bad dream just now," he said, his voice filled with concern. "C'mon, get your things. We're here already."

          You sat there staring into space while your parents got out of the vehicle. Dream fragments and images flashed in your head like still frames from a movie.

          This dream was different from the past one that had a pattern.

          Light. Worm. Tree. Silhouette. Bomb. Blood. Green Eyes—it was supposed to be this. You had been sure. The same dream had plagued you for more than a week; like a wave that keeps coming back to the shore.

          But this new dream—it felt different.

          Everything about it seemed to be a blur. But it was. . . peaceful.

          Yes, it was peaceful in a way that calmed you from the constant dread your previous nightmares gave you. Those gave you a headache that wouldn't go.

          You were curious to know if you would be happy or not that your previous dream had been replaced already.

          It still gave you a headache though.

          With this, you fiddled with your necklace and gazed at the view outside the window. Tears threatened to spill at any moment. Your lips—which usually curled into a soft smile—were downturned into a deep frown in an attempt to control your feelings.

          It's been a while, and you were finally back.

         

The familiar bell hanging over the doorway, adorned with seashells you collected as a child from the beach nearby, chimed as you entered. Inside the house, your father searched for the switch and turned on the light bulb, casting an orange glow over the place.

          Memories flooded back into your head, as you took in the sight of your late grandmother's house. Everything was the same as you remembered it. Yet, you know it'll never be the same again.

          "Good to be back, isn't it, Y/N?" said your mother, trying to settle down.

          You nodded and did not speak.

          "Hey, answer me when I'm talking to you," she warned.

          A tight-lipped smile formed on your face as you sprayed alcohol around you. "Yes, it is, Mom."

          Her eyes rolled, tired of your antics. "Just go to your room. You know where it is. Take a shower or whatever before you go back when I call you. We'll start in a few hours."

          You obliged and took your things. As you looked around the living room, photographs of you and your relatives were still framed around the walls. Every summer and during the holidays, your family would come over to visit your grandma. A light chuckle escaped your lips at some of the photos—one of them was about a photo of you together with your siblings and cousins dressed in swimwear, laughing on the beach. One of your younger cousins had a tantrum and was caught crying in the picture because your brother pranked them.

          Ah, those were the good times.

          The old piano tucked away in the corner caught your eye and you came closer to see it. Its keys were slightly yellowed with age but still seemed to beckon with a haunting melody as you reached out to touch the keys. The image of young you trying to mimic the fingers of your grandma as she played each note on the piano filled your mind. You remembered sitting next to her, being in awe with your siblings. But you then frowned, recalling how your grandmother stopped playing as she grew older and the lines on her hands became more noticeable.

          And the piano became nothing more than a decorative piece in the house.

          You gently touched more keys, not caring about what tune it produced. The piano may have been old and slightly out of tune, but it held so much sentimental value to you. You looked around the house one more time, your lips trembling.

          This home was full of memories.

          You reminisce about the times when one of your relatives often played the piano before and all of you would gather around to enjoy the melodious tunes. You hear the laughter of your cousins in the room where you always do your sleepovers. You hear the noise of your aunties laughing about talking shit about other people when they visited during the holidays. The smell of melted butter and fresh-baked pastries used to waft your senses in the kitchen where your grandma used to cook. The atmosphere was always warm and welcoming.

          It was home.

          But now, it's empty.

          And you haven't seen some of them for over a year.

          When you took the stairs, you noticed something that made your steps halt and your stomach twist.

          You were met with the sight of your dog that kept on sniffing the chair where your grandma used to sit.

          You strode towards your pet, your grip on the strap of your bag tightening. Your dog tried digging around the chair, the sniff slowly getting aggressive, and they looked at you like something was wrong, with those huge eyes.

          Your face softened. "I know, buddy. I miss her too."

          The thought of your grandma still brings a twinge of pain to your heart. Your dog had been your constant source of comfort ever since her passing. They were a gift from your grandma, after all. You remember the moment your grandmother told you the tale of how she found your beloved pet which now you treat as your own child; a stray dog she found when she took a stroll in the forest near the beach. And when she saw you giving the dog the affection it deserved, fondness crinkled on her face.

          You tried calling your dog's name to come with you upstairs yet your dog only jumped at the chair, circled the seat, and positioned themselves like a donut to sleep.

          You almost cried at the scene. You cannot even fathom what life would be like without your beloved pet who provides you solace.

          You had to stop your tears from escaping, so you blinked and sniffled. "You can stay here for a while, okay?"

          As you left with a heavy heart, you continued your way on going to your room.

          Upon entering, you were greeted by the sight of your childhood room, filled with the items you had gathered throughout your years of living there. The plushies and keychains placed on the shelves, the vintage jars and cookie tin of your mother that had a sewing kit inside on the bedside table. The fake flower arrangement that was at least twenty years old still hung on the wall. The vintage wallpaper that decorated the interior of the room.

          It was all still there.

          You mumbled, "Good to be back, indeed."

          You turned on the fan, and to your amusement, it was still working and still loud as ever. It wasn't that bad during the day, but it used to creep you out when nighttime came due to the loud noises you heard—the nonstop chirp of a cricket, the extremely loud ticking of the grandfather clock—yeah, those used to bother you.

          You attempted to settle down by placing your belongings close to the table and you lay on top of the bed. You stared at the ceiling. You're only going to stay here for a few days for the memorial. Weird. It felt weird to be back and knowing you had no one to bother that would tolerate it in this household anymore. Your breath caught in your throat as you struggled to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. You tried to keep your composure, but the tears came anyway.

          I miss you, grandma. I miss you so much.

          The weight of missing her hit you like a ton of bricks. You wanted to scream, to cry out all the pain and sorrow that was building inside of you. But instead, you could only rub your chest in small circles, trying to ease the ache that seemed to suffocate you. Emotions swirled inside you, each one vying for dominance. Was it sadness? Grief? Regret? Or perhaps all of them at once? You didn't know, and that was what scared you most. In this moment, you were caught amid a raging storm within yourself, unsure of how to weather it.

          You held your breath and pressed a trembling hand to your mouth, trying to muffle the sobs that threatened to escape, careful not to let your parents know of your situation. You didn't want them to know that it still hurts. But your chest heaved with each suppressed cry, and tears still streamed down your face.

          You wished you could still go back to the way it was before when life used to be so simple.

          Blinking rapidly, you tried to get rid of the tears. You were sure they were going to stain like they always did, so you took the time to stare at the ceiling. You became numb.

          I want to kill myself.

          But a moment later, you found yourself finding fanfics to read on your phone to pass the time. Your mind had completely forgotten about your sudden breakdown as your blood boiled with frustration about the poorly written fanfic you saw on Wattpad, cursing the reader-insert character for their one-dimensional personality.

          Stop being so dumb, Y/N!

          Your eyes rolled, having second-hand embarrassment to the 'reader' of the story as you cringed at their actions and dialogues. The Y/N slander from the Wattpad comments amused you a lot since that was the only thing you loved about that app. Like what was even the point of calling the story a 'reader insert' when it was Western-centric and felt not very inclusive of people of color? Not everyone had blue orbs, and blonde hair, and was not like other girls.

          Whatever bruh, I'm gonna read smut, you told yourself as you scrolled through your Wattpad and later changed to your favorite site for spicy fics—Ao3. Later on, you find yourself giggling and kicking your feet because of the smut you were reading. You even had to pause by fanning your face with a hand before looking at your imaginary camera. I need him so bad. I need him to rail me.

          "Damn, I think I need a break," you said, tapping your chin with a finger. What if I try on some makeup before I take a shower? You thought for a second before your head bobbed at the idea. You searched for your makeup pouch inside your bag to try out some makeup looks you found online; you started experimenting with different eyeshadow colors and shades of red lipsticks as music blasted from your phone. When you were doing your eyeliner, however, you let out a frustrated hiss as the brush slipped and smudged, causing your eye to sting.

          "Ow, ow, ouch." You hissed. Why is it so hard to perfect my eyeliner?!

          In an attempt to achieve a winged eyeliner, you reached for a Q-tip to fix your mistakes.

          "Okay. . . Just. . . a little. . ."

          There!

          After several attempts, you finally got it right and you admire yourself in the mirror with a small squeal of excitement.

          Damn, I look good.

          You found it fun to do this before taking a shower occasionally. What? It was fun and satisfying.

          You were about to add mascara to your lashes when all of a sudden, someone barged inside.

          It was your dad.

          He held his hands behind his back, slowly walking inside your room with that signature dad stance.

          You froze as his eyes looked around the room before meeting your gaze. Your hand remained suspended in the air, unsure of what to do next.

          He stared at you.

          You stared at him.

          "Food's ready downstairs," he said and cleared his throat. He plastered an awkward smile on his face when the only thing you did was blink your eyes.

          You blinked again. Your dad rarely visited your room back in your house, let alone announce food was ready due to the conflict with his work schedule these days.

          "Um, thanks Dad," you replied, setting down the mascara and turning towards the opposite of him and turning off the music in your phone, embarrassed of facing him with all the makeup on your face.

          He cleared his throat again, shifting on his feet. "So. . . How is school going?"

          You looked at him skeptically. Well, this was awkward.

          "Um. . .Okay, I guess. . ?"

          He chuckled nervously. "Just checking up on you, that's all. Since, well — um, look — I know it's hard for you, especially since you're growing as a young lady already—"

          "Dad!"

          "—but just know that your mom and I are here for you," he said, pointing a finger at you, "remember that."

          Still a bit hesitant about where this conversation would go, you nodded your head.

          "About last week. . . Well, your mother told me all about your conversation. . ." he sighed. "She's still your mom."

          It was awkward silence once again before he broke it.

          "We both know your mom could get a bit crazy with all that nagging sometimes. . ." the words left his lips with a teasing smile. His finger then pointed at you sharply, his voice dropping to a whisper, afraid of being overheard, "But don't tell her I said that."

          Despite the underlying tension, there was always a sense of playfulness between them that kept things from getting too heavy. The air between the two of you changed with your inside jokes and you both burst into laughter despite the seriousness of the moment.

          "Okay, okay," you said, "I'll just take a shower and then head downstairs after."

          "Have you tried going to the beach again?" he asked.

          "Not yet," you said, "but I'll. . . I'll try later."

          After that, your dad left without closing the door.

          You let out a sigh of relief that you didn't realize you were holding in.

          That was crazy, you thought, before closing the door.

          Droplets of water trickled down from your damp hair after you took a shower, leaving wet trails on your bare skin as you stood in front of the fogged-up mirror, wrapped in a towel. The warm shower seemed to melt some of your problems away together with your makeup as you changed into a summer dress you brought with you.

          You decided it was time you went out for a walk.

          The delicate white summer dress you picked was crafted without sleeves, elegantly draping down to mid-thigh. Its adjustable straps allowed for a customizable fit, while its lightweight fabric provided you some room to breathe. It felt soft against your skin, the perfect blend of smoothness and weightlessness. It seemed to float around you as you made a twirl in front of the mirror, like a cloud on a summer day.

          You were in the middle of wearing your signature necklace around your neck when a notification from your friend popped up. You clicked on it and your eyes went wide when you read the words.

my bestie

hey

Feel like kms rn bc of school

I DONT WANT TO do homework anymore

U still alive?

lmao should I just look for a sugar daddy or not?

i luv u

thanks for everything :)

          It was only sent minutes ago. Your fingers hastily clicked on your phone's keyboard. You immediately knew it was a cry for help.

You

WDYM?????

HELLO???@!76@@^#*#

GURL U BETTER NOT KILL YOURSLF

I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but fr pls don't do it :(((

Im here for you

Pls i don't want to lose another person whom i care about again

Pls pls pls dont even try

TALK TO ME PLEASE

I love you bro

          You waited for her reply. You tried ringing her phone, but a few of your calls became missed calls.  Anxiously, your leg constantly bounced as you waited and waited. You then saw those three dots that indicated she was typing something and it skyrocketed your anxiety.

my bestie

HEYYY

Sorry about earlier just had a breakdown

lol

U know just the usual stuff

IM GOOD IM GOOD dont worry besfran

          You released a deep sigh of relief. Oh, thank god.

You

THANK GODDDDD u almost gave me a fright tf :((((

          You lowered your phone to your side, feeling its weight in your hand as you continued to carefully fasten your earrings onto your earlobes, the medium-sized silver hoops glinting in the soft light of the room.

          You took a deep breath and composed yourself before leaving the room with your phone, making sure to close the door behind you. As you descended the stairs, you could already hear your parents' voices getting louder when you reached the bottom of the stairs.

          You hesitated for a moment and overheard snippets of their argument.

          "You have no idea how hard I worked for this family!" exclaimed your dad. "And you'll just — you'll — you'll even sell this house just because you think I'm not providing enough for us?!"

          You stilled. Sell. . . the house. . . ?

          "We have no choice! We need the money more than this. This house is of no use to us anymore! Mom is gone!" shouted your mom.

          Gasping for air, you burst into the kitchen whilst your heart pounded in your chest.

          "What did you say?" you exclaimed incredulously. "You'll sell grandma's house. . . ?"

          The both of them immediately stopped when you appeared.

          It was as if you had been punched in the gut with the news. You couldn't believe what she had said.

          Your mother sighed. "Look, Y/N—"

          "You have no right!" you said, the tone of your voice rising in disbelief. Tears blurred your eyes, and your hands started to shake from the intensity of the moment. "Grandma won't allow it—"

          "And how would you know? Do you think you're smarter than me?" she scoffed, "I know what's best for this family!"

          "—This is all we have left of her! And you'll just sell it?" You reacted with indignation, your voice cracking with raw emotion.

          "Don't talk back at me!" she fumed, pointing a finger at you. "My decision is final and you will respect it. Besides, you are too young and naive to understand why I'm doing this."

          "But this is not yours to sell!" you protested, your lips trembling from shouting. Your fists clenched at your sides with the anger coursing through you threatening to boil over as you fight to defend the precious memories of your grandma.

          Your mother walked up to you with a scoff and you were now facing her. "Why are you so stubborn?! You simply think you know how the world works, huh?! I'm not going to tolerate this kind of behavior from you, Y/N. You should be showing more respect, and I am so tired of your attitude. Your siblings weren't like this to us."

          The words cut deep, a constant reminder that you were never good enough. How could she compare you to your siblings? You wanted to scream and lash out, but instead, you remained composed on the surface. Inside, a storm raged as you struggled between wanting to make them proud and hating their unfair expectations. Why couldn't they just accept you for who you are? It was a constant battle within yourself, torn between wanting their approval and resenting their judgment.

          Your mother's voice rang out, sharp and venomous, as she berated you with insults and curse words from your native tongue, each syllable leaving you trembling in fear.

          "You hear me?" she exclaimed, changing back to English. "You—Hey, don't you dare roll your eyes at me!" she screamed, her face contorting with rage. "Act like your age!"

          "That's enough," your father intervened, trying to ease the tension between you and your mother. "Y/N, just get some food and go back to your room."

          You noticed the shift of the conversation and you struggled to maintain your composure, the guilt slowly starting to eat you up. This was supposed to be a day dedicated to your grandmother, and yet, your mother dared to do something like this. How could she? You weren't done yet.

          "I'm so disappointed at you, Y/N," she said, her voice dripping with disdain.

          Her words cut like a knife, slicing through your heart and leaving it bleeding. Her disappointment seeps into your bones, weighing you down with the heavy burden of unmet expectations.

          "You have so much potential yet you're wasting it! You're ruining your life—!"

          "YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE!" you seethed, eyes blazing with fury.

          Your words echoed in the kitchen, silencing both of your parents. You stood there, chest heaving and tears streaming down your face.

          "I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH!" your father roared.

          And with those words, you flinched like you always did whenever your father screamed.

          Then, you felt the sting of your mother's hand across your cheek—a physical manifestation of the pain she had caused you emotionally.

          You reached for the cheek she had slapped, and you couldn't breathe properly. You looked at your mother, the cold, vacant look in her eyes offered no solace, only a deep-seated anger that seemed to grow with each passing moment after she cursed you again in her mother tongue.

          It was then that you realized that you were never your father's daughter. It was never his anger coursing through your veins. No. You were your mother's—a complete broken reflection of her rage.

          And she will never know how much her daughter had bled—All because of the wounds she left inside you, cutting you deeply. It hurts. There has been no warmth that you receive from her. Only rage. And it will grow and grow until it eats you—until you become exactly like your mother.

          Because in the first place, how could a mother even be full of bitterness and resentment toward her daughter?

          You were just a child. You didn't need to be dictated to what you needed to be when you grew up. You only needed to be loved.

          But now you are sixteen; and nothing but a shattered reflection of your mother, broken and battered from the endless cycle of trauma she inflicted upon you. Your rage burns like an inferno, fueled by the desire to break free from her grasp and end the generational trauma once and for all.

          Even if it meant breaking yourself in the process.

          "I'm sorry that I can't be like my sister — or — or like — like my brother who you basically forced to study medicine and become a doctor one day. I don't want to be like that, Mom. I'm sorry I can't live up to your expectations and now. . . I end up becoming a failure in your eyes," you breathed out, tears welling up in your eyes as you spoke, knowing that your words would only add to the rift between you and your mother. The pressure to follow in your siblings' footsteps slowly suffocated you.

          "I tried my best to make you proud. I really did," you said desperately, your voice croaking. A tear fell from your eye and you tried to offer your mother a painful smile. "But turns out it wasn't enough."

          Your mother became silent.

          Breathe, you told yourself and balled your hands into fists.

          You needed air. You needed to leave.

          Now.

          And without thinking, you left the house with your dog following behind you.

          Your feet pounded against the pavement as you sprinted down the road towards the shore. Soon, the familiar sound of crashing waves and the soft crunch of sand beneath your toes filled your ears and your breath came out in ragged gasps.

          You had finally reached the beach, a place where you felt truly free.

          After removing your flip-flops, you collapsed onto the warm sand, panting and exhausted whilst the voice of your mother echoed in your mind.

          The softest whisper of a quiver, a barely audible breath of sorrow left your lips. Your face now became a landscape of emotions, like a stormy sea of sadness that could not be contained any longer. The tears were a raging current, ready to burst through the levee of your eyes. Your focus shifted towards the sand beneath you—You took the time to feel the sand before you stood up and took a few steps in the water to feel the waves that lapped on your feet like a soothing massage. The water was cool as it touched your skin, and you continued to go in the water until it reached your waist and you laughed for a fleeting moment at the feeling of walking on pebbles underneath the water.

          Your eyes instantly closed at the serene feeling and you breathed in the salty air, letting the gentle rhythm of the waves wash away your worries, lulling you into a sense of calmness as you stretched out your hands, fingers splayed like the wings of a bird. The salty breeze seemed to work on carrying the weight of your troubles and dissipating them into the vast expanse of the sea.

          You desperately wished to be gone.

          Your desire to disappear at the moment was palpable. Perhaps in another life, it would be simple and all of your dreams would come true.

          Your delicate eyes opened to stare into the vast blue sea before you slowly brought out a finger and pointed it at the horizon.

          At the notion, your hand clutched your stomach as uncontrollable laughter bubbled up from within you.

          "Tatakae? More like Tatacaw!" you said between laughs, as you remembered that Eren meme.

          It was weird how everything seemed to remind you of Attack on Titan even if you just had an intense argument with your mother minutes ago. 

          Still, you cringed at yourself and laughed.

          For a moment, you relished the feeling of being in the water, its gentle waves allowing your body to float before you went back to sit on the sand again, droplets of water trickling down your hair and dress, not caring if it ruined it, and you took the time to ruminate over your life. Hell, you even forgot to wear a mask. Well, now you didn't care. Nobody was at the beach. Only you. So a gentle hand of yours then moved in slow, rhythmic strokes over your dog's soft fur. The warmth of their body radiated through your cold fingers, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of peace and contentment wash over you as you looked at your pet. You looked at your dog who was now beside you.

          You smiled. "I'm glad I still have you."

          Lost in thought, your eyes trailed back to the picturesque sea and lingered on the wavering line where the sky and the sea met miles away.

          Your vision started to blur.

          At this point, you just didn't care anymore.

          The intrusive thoughts floated in your mind, but you desperately tried to ignore them. After all, you were already drowning under the pressure of becoming a perfect daughter even without being in the water.

          You don't even know who you are anymore.

          Your choked sobs got louder and for the second time, you allowed yourself to feel and release the pain you'd been keeping inside you.

          "You know what?" you said to your dog who had their eyes closed. "I used to tell everyone that I would live here and grow old. No work. No stress. Just a peaceful life in a small cottage house. . ."

          ". . . But, I'm not even sure if I'll live long enough to fulfill that dream."

          For a sixteen-year-old, life sure had fucked you numerous times already.

          To feel so deeply. . . was it a blessing or a curse?

          You still had so many dreams to reach; so many dreams to fulfill. But the hope in your eyes is slowly fading as your dreams slip through your fingers; the reality setting in that you won't be able to reach them all.

          Your eyes are stinging already as you think about what they always asked you when you still didn't know the world was wide enough.

          What do you want to be when you grow up?

          The answer was—You don't even know!

          You wanted to be so many things. But right now, you find comfort in knowing that you are okay with just wanting to exist at the moment.

          You don't know what to be when you grow up because your future isn't set in stone. You're alive! That's what matters right now.

          Even though there were moments you wished to greet death faster.

          You looked up and squinted your eyes. I hope you're looking over me, grandma. Always.

          You were grateful for this ephemeral trip to the beach. But your euphoria was cut short when in an instant, your dog's body tensed up and their ears perked, sensing something threatening in the distance.

          You tried to whisper cooing words to them but without hesitation, they bolted towards the trees nearby with fierce determination. Your eyes widened and your heart jolted with fear as you called out their name numerous times, but it was drowned out by the sound of their relentless sprint and your dog continued to ignore your desperate cries for them to stop. It was unlike your dog to act like this. What was even happening? This wouldn't happen in the first place if you only brought a leash for them. You sprinted after them, knowing the imminent danger that lurked within the ominous forest ahead that you hadn't explored yet the entire time you visited this place. Even when your pet reached deep into the treacherous depths of the forest, you were unable to stop running just so you could protect your pet from any harm that comes to them.

          Your phone was clutched tightly in your hand as you sprinted, the cool air whipping past your skin and filling your lungs with each ragged breath. The wind tousled your hair and sent shivers down your spine as you ran. The sound of your pounding footsteps echoed in your ears, drowning out all other noise.

          But then you stopped.

          I'm gonna die.

          Your imagination went wild as you gazed at the start of the trees in front of you; the trees stood tall and straight, their trunks thick and high, musty and smelling of old wood. At this, you took a deep shuddering breath whilst the sound of your flip-flops crunching on the damp leaves that are stuck underneath them filled your ears.

          Run! Your mind shouted. Run, Y/N!

          But then the other part of your mind screamed, You're going to die! Don't go! This is how they end up in horror movies!

          Instinctively, you hugged yourself for comfort.

          That damn dog! You gulped. This is it. There's no turning back now.

          And with great trepidation, you sprinted  after your dog on the trail, the wind whipping through your hair as you dart through the forest. Your eyes frantically scanned the trail ahead and ducked under a low-hanging tree branch amongst the large trees that followed, narrowly avoiding a collision.

          Faint glints of sunlight shined through the thick canopy and filtered down to the forest floor, illuminating the fog in the distance.

          Pinecones and acorns scattered over the ground here and there, with wood beetles bumbling across rotten logs that had fallen. The fog had now clouded your vision, yet you tried your hardest to peer through the mist and watched out for glimpses of any sound or movement.

          You could no longer see the beach this far.

          The hairs on your arm stood up as you walked deeper and deeper, still having no sign of your dog anywhere. The trees now loom over you and the air smelled like the forest floor, with a slight note of decay as moss climbed up trunks and most of the forest. The birds have stopped chirping from the apprehension surrounding you—a creak here, a snap there. The sounds seem to come from nowhere and everywhere at once.

          And this scared you.

          Fear rose in your throat, and you struggled to keep your courage. You'd gone too far to turn back now.

          Your heart hammered against your chest as your head snapped towards the direction where you heard your dog's frantic barks echoing through the air.

          "There you are!" you cried, relief flooding your body.

          The moment you were approaching your dog, it seemed as though their barking was aimed at the tree that dominated you and the entire forest. A knot formed in your throat, and cold sweat prickled across your skin as you gaped at the tree in front of you for two things:

          One—it was the most enormous tree you'd ever seen in the forest; bigger and taller than the rest that could not compare to its height as the dense fog covered the top of it like a veil.

          Two—it resembled the tree from Attack on Titan a lot. Like, a lot. The huge hole — opening —or whatever really — was in the middle, serving as an entrance to go inside. Moreover, it looked like the one you saw in your dreams. Except this was real, and not made of light.

          You didn't know how to react.

          Not wanting to take your situation seriously and deciding to maintain equanimity, you opened your phone to take a video of the enormous tree with a nervous chuckle while your other hand desperately tried to keep your dog under control.

          You couldn't resist taking a video for proof, before leaving the forest behind.

          Oh, the fandom would go crazy about this one, you thought, proud of your sudden discovery.

          However, the familiar rumble of thunder echoed in the distance, causing you to frown and glance at the darkening sky. It was only a matter of time before the rain started pouring down.

          Moroseness filled your body; this ineffable experience would be cut short due to the weather. This is not how you imagined this day would end.

          As you clicked the shutter for the last time, something caught your eye. Your head tilted to the side and saw something and found words etched into the bark of the tree—which, in fact, was placed at the side of the terrifying entrance. Curious, you stepped closer to inspect it.

          Turns out, it wasn't something. It seemed like. . .  like words of some sort. Like scribbles of another language you did not know of.

          You found it cool though.

          You checked the time on your phone.

          1:39 PM 

          You hastily took a picture of it before signaling to your dog you would go back to your house. But before you could even take a step, the sky opened up and unleashed a torrent of rain that pounded against your skin like bullets, blurring your vision and drenching you in seconds. You stumble forward, and then to your back, trying to grasp onto your dog as you both battle against the fierce downpour to reach shelter.

          But as the idiot you are, you slipped in the muddy water and lost balance.

          Fuck!

          Before you could catch your breath, panic surged through your veins as the musty scent of earth and decay wafted your senses from the opening as you slipped into its depths.

          A deafening scream echoed through the air as you plummeted into the dark abyss beneath the gnarled roots of the ancient tree. The sensation of falling engulfed you, stretching time as you descended further and further into oblivion, the darkness almost closing in on you and suffocating every sense.

          I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA—

          With a sickening lurch in your stomach, you braced for impact while the darkness swallowed you whole.

          As you fell. . . under the tree.

To be continued . . .

← prev chapter ┊ next chapter →

[thebeingmerf]

Okay so uh. I’ve seen you post a lot about TPORR, but what exactly is it? I just find it interesting and was wondering :3

You have no idea how long I’ve wanted someone to ask-

So! TPORR is short for The Pursuit of Rekindled Roots! It’s an SCU fan series myself and my partner have been working on, and is supposed to take place long after the events of RQ/Rainbow Quest. Not as long of a time gap as the one between SL and RQ, but still a decently sized gap.

The story centers around 3 hybrid Steves, each made from 2 different colors of chromatic Steves in a lab which they escaped from in the 1st (planned) episode. They have no memory of who they were as separate steves before the lab.

Experiment Q-05 “Q”: A green Steve and an orange Steve. The “oldest” of the group in terms of who was created (as a hybrid) first. Tends to be more quiet and stand-off-ish, but will eventually open up more around those they trust. But they don’t like to admit their thoughts or feelings for fear of being vulnerable. Big believer of the “Trust no one” mentality. They’d risk their life for the sake of others they’re more fond of. Suffers with their own issues internally to avoid putting the stress on others. Characters to compare to: Steven Universe (Future), Rainbow (RQ), Twyla (MH gen 3), Stan (Gravity Falls).

Experiment X-05 “X”: A yellow Steve and an Indigo Steve. The second “oldest” of the group. Still traumatized from the lab, but has seen far less than Q has. He seemed to be more of a social shut-in, but as soon as he was free he opened up big time. Now practically nothing can stop him from asking questions or making comments on something he finds interesting or intriguing. Has a special interest in all kinds of battle aspects. Planning, formations, weapons, transportation, etc. Even visits a blacksmith and gets a custom-made Dagger. Characters to compare to: Pearl (SU), Sharp (SL), Dipper (Gravity Falls), Ford (Gravity Falls).

Experiment Z-05 “Z”: a Blue Steve and a Violet Steve. The “youngest” of the group. Was the 2nd to last step in the scientists grand scheme, so they didn’t witness as much horror as Q and X had- but the other two try not to downplay Z’s experience. Z is more focused on new experiences rather than dragging up the past. They love to explore the world around them and witness everything new that they can. The most positive and bubbly out of the 3- but far from the most naive. They possess a special gift. Between Blue steves’ connections to spirit, and Violet Steves connection to emotions, Z is able to see what emotion a person is truly feeling- sort of like an aura. They can read people like a bolded sign, but would never admit to it unless the person does first. Z cares deeply for everything- living and even inanimate objects. Characters to compare to: Peridot (SU, later seasons), Star (SVTFOE), Mabel (Gravity Falls), Honey (OHSHC).

There will also be several more characters along the way, but this should serve as a good introduction for the main three. :}

[sawadeekpop]

Cheetah and his mom 😆

[make-me-imagine]

Main Masterlist

((Last Updated: August 2nd, 2024))

(Fandoms List)

Discontinued Fandoms Masterlist*All the links for fandoms I no longer write for (NCIS, Spn, Teen Wolf +More)

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Masterlist Order: 

• Separate Masterlist Links for Shows and Movies

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**Shows ‘#-Z’**

Bridgerton

9-1-1 (Fox)

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The Originals

Prodigal Son

Sherlock (BBC)

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Star Trek 2

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Shang-Chi

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Star Wars Universe

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Top Gun

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Jane Austen Adaptations

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Kingsman

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Magnificent Seven (2016)

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Pirates of the Caribbean

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The Outsiders (1983)

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The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings

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Geon-woo x Gn!Reader; Woo-jin x Gn!Reader + Geon-woo x Reader x Woojin

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Geon-woo x Gn!Reader x Woojin

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Sherlock Holmes x GN!Reader: 

‘The Gift of Feeling’ (Christmas; cute/gen)

‘Feelings to Embrace’ (angst/fluff)

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Enola Holmes (1&2)

Sherlock Holmes x Gn!Reader: 

‘Hold My Hand’; (tension/fluff)

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Part Two: ‘A New Years Kiss’ (romantic/fluff)

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Part One: ‘A Christmas Rose’ (cute/mild Christmas)

Firefly 

Jayne Cobb 

Gif Imagine: ‘Being Jaynes sibling and the complete opposite’ 

Oneshot: “I’m offended you didn’t ask me to be your fake date”

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Gif Imagine: ‘Saving the crew/Mal asks you to join’ 

The Gentlemen

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Raymond Smith: 

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‘Bounty’s and First Meetings’; (gen/cute)

‘Exactly My Type’ (fluff/romance/Valentines Day)

Headcanons: Aesthetics (Raymond Smith)

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Lark Rise to Candleford

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One Piece (Live Action)

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Headcanons + One Shot; Zoro + Crush (cute/fluff)

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Shadow and Bone

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**Holiday/Event Masterlists**

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2017-2021 Halloween Masterlist

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Smolpersonbigworld

Guest Writer Jay

Guest Writer @thebookbakery (writing blog @trashywritestrash)

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[momo-de-avis]

I am all for the La La Land rant, seriously you'd be doing me a favor

You know, when you to film school, or are around film school students enough, you always meet that guy. It's the guy who thinks he's so different because he seriously believes his tastes are old fashioned and men these days just don't think like him, you know. Just cause dudes these days go around listening to soundcloud rappers like yours truly prefers some good old fashioned Nat King Cole, he's dead set on believing he's got an old mind that is not appreciated enough. This mother fucker will put on It's a Wonderful Life or some shit and say "ah, yes, the good old Hollywood" and then have a fundamental misunderstanding of what the star system truly was

At the same time, this is the dude who will have a streak of modernity to his personal taste that will feel rather displaced. I'm talking about electronica, most likely. This is the guy who likely enjoys Daft Punk or Phoenix or some shit, but nothing beyond that, anything more prog than that it's too "millenial" (this dude ain't Gen Z, don't worry). He enjoys neon lights, he thinks Nicolas Winding Refn is a modern-day genius, but not because of his use of neon lights, but because this mother fucker sees himself as Ryan Gosling in Drive (which---hey! Winding Refn's cinematography is fucking astounding, man, if you put Drive and Only God Forgives on for me, I dead ass can't say which of the two I'm watching, but god damn those are beautiful movies to watch).

So like, this guy is 70% "I've got an old mind, you wouldn't understand" and 30% "I actually think Artificial Intelligence is the future". And that guy is fucking Damien Chazelle

What is so insulting with La La Land, is that the movie started with a single continuous shot of a beautiful dance full of people set in LA, a diverse cast, with so much colour, riddled with these old cars, set in traffic. It's not THE BEST, far from it, but it sets the bar. It's the very first thing you see, this is the shot that opens the movie so it SUPPOSEDLY tells you "this is what the movie is about": a diverse cast, dancing, singing BEAUTIFULLY, in a setting that isn't expensive, isn't too worked out, but is arranged enough that the actors interact with it enough that the choreography comes out a winner.

And then you're delivered a movie about the two most boring white people in LA: a failed actress and a white boy who is convinced he's gonna save jazz, a movie with no colour except the use of neon lights --- and I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH --- in the most textbook way possible when it comes to cinematography (blue in the back when you see Ryan Gosling, red when it's Emma Stone... come the fuck on, man, I know it's supposed to evoke the 50s, but leave the gender binary of colour back in your ass where you dug this shit up).

I particularly hate this movie for the cinematography alone, and for one reason ONLY.

It won a fucking oscar against Moonlight.

And I cannot stress enough how insulting this is because the whole thesis of Moonlight's cinematography is the very tagline of the movie: "Under the moonlight, black boys are blue". Moonlight is a movie that highlights the beauty of black skin, it is so beautifully worked, it has such a detailed and carefully crafted work on light and composition that subjectively speaks to you about the main character's journey, the emotions of the movie, and the very intricate beauty of black skin (and I really want to highlight this because that phrase I mentioned above is repeated in the movie enough times for it to be IMPORTANT), that there are scenes in this movie that you could seriously hit the pause button and just print the frame out and hang it in your living room and bam, there's a beautiful piece of artwork for you to appreciate. Moonlight is that type of movie that you can see was made, every fucking second of it, with such care and dedication, literally every second of it the director thought deeply about the meaning of every speck of light that goes into the frame, and it is so INSULTING that it lost best cinematography to Textbook Neon Lights White Boy's Adventures in Jazz Land over there. I have been holding a grudge against that fucking movie for YEARS because La La Land treats cinematography in the way 2nd year cinema students treat it: it's low-budget, basic and so fucking direct you don't even have to think about it. Like. No fucking second thought. It's like... slap some red in a scene where there's a bit of temptation lurking in the corner. Slap some blue where it's plainly obvious something sad is happening. There's no attempt at that establishing a dichotomy between warm and cold colours, just fucking.... Yellow looks good, let's go! The only thing that stood out to me was Ryan Gosling's shoes and that was LITERALLY the only thing about this motherfucker that spoke "50s", which Chazelle tried so damn hard to say was his inspiration, but the whole tone of the movie was "I really want this to be about the 50s but I'm obviously not going to do that because the 50s sucked" which might be related to the fact that JAZZ WAS NOT INVENTED IN LA AND IT'S PRETTY INSULTING TO SAY A WHITE MAN IS GOING TO SAVE IT, AND NO, JOHN LEGEND WON'T EXONERATE YOU

Damien Chazelle should apologise for that piece of garbage

Also, none of those people can't sing for shit. "Oh BuT ThE MoViE iS AbOuT ReAl PeOPlE" yeah sure that's a choice. I could argue here that choosing to go that way is at a serious risk of breaking suspension of disbelief, which definitely broke mine. But let's not think about suspension of disbelief for now. If it is supposed to be about two normal people, hence the director didn't really care about them singing like professionals THEN WHY THE FUCK DID THE MOVIE OPEN UP WITH A DISNEY-LEVEL QUALITY SCENE OF DANCING AND SINGING

WHY DID IT SET THE BAR SO HIGH AND THEN SENT US ALL TO THE PITS OF HELL FOR TWO HOURS

You know what they call that in film school? BAD WRITING. BAD DIRECTING. It FUCKING SUCKS like I'M SORRY

[kamikazekaitou2004]

hi i'm dylan and here's my list of stuff i'll reblog

animes

- shugo chara!

- cardcaptor sakura

- tsubasa: reservoir chronicle

- full moon wo sagashite (fav series!)

- tokyo mew mew

- dnangel

- inuyasha

- mermaid melody

- kamikaze kaitou jeanne

- mamotte! lollipop

- powerpuff girls z

- lucky star

- the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya

- vampire knight

- black butler

- ouran high school host club

- pokemon (specifically from the hoenn and sinnoh series)

other

- 2000s anime webcore stuff

- those weird digital paintings of anime girls everyone turned into blingees or nightcore thumbnails in 2007

- hatsune miku

- sanrio maybe? i might make a separate blog for sanrio but very 2000s looking sanrio might go here

- gyaru fashion

- 2000s lolita fashion

- 2000s visual kei/jrock

- 2nd gen kpop (more specifically between like 2005 - 2014)

please recommend stuff that fits into these aesthetics! i'm always on the lookout for something new :3

here's my manga collection!!

[izzyizumi]

I can hear it now I can feel the encore This endlessly thrumming beat Let it RING OUT once more {Jou Kido appearance} I just want to know what’s out there Beyond the furthest reaches of the sky I set my sights on the beyond In my desire for an infinite shine {Mimi Tachikawa appearance} [+Tachikawa Family] No matter how hard it got You gently wrapped me in those kind arms of yours These feelings too overflowing to express in words {Takeru Takaishi appearance} [+platonic Takaishi-Ishida Brothers] Let me express them to you now Take your voice And this dream of mine Let’s bring them together {Sora Takenouchi appearance} This LIVE {LIFE} is beautiful Let my song dance and rise high above {Koushiro Izumi & Tentomon appearance} Though this may be goodbye It would make me happy if YOU could KEEP SMILING Even if I can’t see you anymore This place will always be special to us

{Yamato Ishida appearance} No matter how many times I’m reborn or travel the stars I want to find you again I’ll embrace you in my kisses {Taichi Yagami appearance} Let my love RING OUT to the farthest futures {Hikari Yagami appearance} [+WIZARDMON friendship] Take your voice And this dream of mine Let’s bring them together This LIVE {LIFE} is beautiful Let my song dance and rise high above This love of mine This song of mine The voice calling for it all This encore is forever I wish you endless happiness {Adventure Chosen & Digimon} I sing out in THIS moment because IT WON’T LAST F O R E V E R {02} I can hear it now I can feel the ENCORE This endlessly thrumming beat Look, a rainbow spans the sky Instead of saying goodbye Let me hear you call for me one more time Believe that it will start once more in the future A call for us and only us {tri.} We’ll CREATE TOMORROW This love of mine This song of mine The voice calling for it all This encore is forever I wish you endless happiness I wish for the beginning of eternity Our love lasts through the encore

{ WE L O V E ... }

- M A M O R U . M I Y A N O ; E N C O R E

“When my {Quality of Life} is so diminished that I can no longer enjoy even eating, {when I can only be fed through a feeding tube lying in a hospital bed}, That’s when it might be time for me to go.”

“... BUT I’M NOT A F R A I D.”

- Dedicated to my Grandmother C., Z”L*, (*May her memory be a Blessing) 1926 ~ August, 2015 (passed near 89 years old) - Jewish, she also lived through the years of the Holocaust, (1941~1945) and her entire Jewish family got safely through those years. [Not long before WWII ended, she met my Grandpa.] My grandmother was one of my closest family members. When I was little (around 8 years old myself when first watching), she wholeheartedly supported my strong interest in Adventures/Digimon when I was first getting into this series, even if she didn’t know anything about it, (other than small bits I told her) even she could see how much I loved it. (Because she was one of my closest family members, she was also the one who overall learnt the most about my health. When I was, few years after discovering Adventure as a child, diagnosed Autistic and with generalized Anxiety disorder as well, she continued to support me all throughout, educated herself & our other interconnected family about my conditions, and continuously encouraged my interests and growth.)

Original Posters [Mine] commentary: I made this quick A.M.V edit a handful of days ago to this gorgeous song by Miyano, one of my favorite JPN voice actors/singers, {You may know him as: Dent[o] in JPN Pocket Monsters, Tamaki in Ouran, Rin in Free!, Tokiya in Utano*Prince-sama (where this song comes from), Konoha, Haruka & “Clearing Eyes” in Kage-Pro, among many more} mainly made with thoughts of general appreciation for this series in mind. I also made it with thoughts of my Grandmother in mind, who passed late August 2015, (yes, August). Tri had been announced, but wouldn’t yet air until November. I didn’t start much more actively blogging about Digimon until a bit later on, starting from a couple years later, because I was still heavily grieving. However, I still enjoyed reblogging Digimon posts I enjoyed to other blogs I had at the time even in the pre-Tri and early Tri years.

This was made very quickly, so it’s not perfect, has minimal editing, and the 1st Adventure portion is straight from the final battle with no editing done to it, but it fit the music well enough, so I included it as-is for now. I’ll probably re-arrange scenes if I remake it later and include much more other, varied scenes from Adventure, (for example, during end of Yamato’s portion, I was also thinking of the Yamato&Sora+Jou scene from the end of Dark Masters Arc).

(^One of my favorite Adventure scenes regardless of personal favs) But until I can edit those in, I’m just leaving this as it is. The middle portion with 02 is edited slightly more timed to music. A major Tri ending spoiler for the final battle’s result appears during the end. Kizuna is not included in here as of yet, but it may be in the future, along with Adventure 2020. All of this will probably be rearranged in a remake overall, but I’m keeping the general themeing & feel as-is for now, along with the Tri ending scenes.

Because this was made in appreciation of this series and out of respect to and with thoughts of my grandmother, please be respectful when interacting with this post. Thank you.

{& Pretty soon, in a few days, I’m getting my 2nd C.O.V.I.D shot.} (So I’m posting this now as-is, but I’ll see if I can work on it more later. It’d be nice if I could manage to finish it in time for August 1st, but we’ll see.)

{because every August, I think of not only this series, but also my grandmother.}

(August 2021 will be the 6th-year anniversary of her death.) Please remember this if you interact with my blog during the month of August. Or just during the summer in general.

This blogs’ queue will be ongoing in general for a while after this post.

{Additional note: this post is mainly intended GENERAL CHARACTER/SERIES SUPPORT-FOCUSED. please remember + RESPECT this when interacting} {my other major ship/O.T.P. is Taichi x Koushiro, though I’d probably keep this A.M.V. more gen[eral] overall later} [I also enjoy various other ships with all characters on the side anyhow]

[Note: commenting/tagging positively/respectfully is ok!] (Please AGREE TO BANNERS BEFORE interacting) (Note: click on the images/banners to enlarge!)

[mayadoodles2]

students from class of 2024 from alynthi university 🎓🏫

Alynthi University

A prestigious magical charter school founded by Equator Alynthi

Student Records

⚠️ classified ⚠️

for authorized personnel only

Astrid (Universe Chan) Meyers [22]

Status - Currently Attending 1st Year

Parents - Aleyah Meyers (Missing) and Adonis Meyers

Siblings - Star (Saturn Chan) Meyers

Inkling - Unknown

Major - Inkling Study 1 + Intro To Spellcasting + Spellcasting 1

Minor - Intro to Darkmagic + Dark Magic 1

Extracurriculars - Spellbook Club

Outgoing, enthusiastic, optimistic, Loud and creative

Doesn’t really know who she is yet but loves space, stars, planets etc.

Excellent leadership skills, good at working in groups, A/B honor roll

Star (Saturn Chan) Meyers [24]

Status - Discontinued/Dropout 3rd Year

Estimated Finishing Year - 5th

Parents - Aleeyah Meyers (Missing) and Adonis Meyers

Siblings - Astrid (Universe Chan) Meyers

Inkling - Voice Amplification

she can control the volume and pitch of her voice

Major - Inkling Study 3 + Darkmagic 4

Minor - Music Theory

Extracurriculars - Adolescent/Gen Z Club known as the “Flame Kids”

Rude, Stubbon, Intelligent and Deliquent

Seems to like music and plays the electric guitar (sometimes during class)

Has gotten into many fights over the years, numerous rumors spread about her personal life and relationships (not confirmed to be true or false), wasted potential, Bs and Cs

Adeena (Nature Chan) Brommer [21]

Status - Currently Attending First Year

Parents - Unknown

Legal Guardians - Sophia (Christian) Brommer and Lucas Brommer

Siblings - None

Inkling - Plant Manifestation

She can manifest flowers and other plants from her palms

Major - Spellcasting 1 + Intro to NatureCore + Intro to Magical Creatures

Minor - Potion Study + Plant Study 1

Extracurriculars- Nature Club

Softspoken but very intelligent, Bilingual (French and English), Clutzy

Really enjoys nature and animals, always has a small potted plant on her desk

Dosent come to class much because of personal family affairs, but always manages to complete all her assignments. A honor roll

Pearl (Kawaii Chan) Marion [20]

Status - Currently Attending First Year

Parents - Dove Marion and Randolph Marion

Siblings - Nesta Marion Zillah Marion

Inkling - Kawaii Manifestation

She can manifest cutesy images and symbols from her palms for a short period of time

Major - Spellbook Study + Inkling Study 1

Minor - Intro to Magical Creatures + Magical Creature Study

Extracurriculars - Spellbook Club

Energetic, Absent Minded, Talented, Freindly

Loves sweets and candy, is always eating or drinking something in class

Is intelligent in reality but gets easily distracted, potential is evident. Bs and Cs

Bella (Cloud Chan) Laylin [23]

Status - Currently Attending 2nd Year

Parents - Crystal Laylin

Siblings - None

Inkling - Cloud Hair

She can pull pieces of her hair off and it will sit in the air as a cloud until it disperses. Hair always grows back quickly

Major - Geography + Inkling Study 2 + Magical Creatures Study 2

Minor - Intro to NatureCore

Extracurriculars - None

Quiet, Sweet, Distanced

Has barely said a word to anyone since she was accepted into the school and keeps her distance from everyone as well, but seems to like reading.

not much information on her since she is so distanced but her grades are excellent. A+ honor roll

Adrien (Flamour) Desniay [23]

Status - Currently Attending 2nd Year

Parents - Adora Desinay and Carter (Alaroy) Desinay

Siblings - None

Inkling - Flames

He can manifest flames from his palms and his hair ignites when he activates it.

Major - Inkling Study 3 + Intro to Dark Magic + Flame Control Class

Minor - Flame Control Class 2 + Geography

Extracurriculars - Adolescent/ Gen z Club known as the Flame Kids

Sarcastic, Rebellious, Blunt

Seems to like music and singing, caught singing/humming to himself multiple times in class

He’s very powerful and has potential but dosent exercise it. Bs and Cs

Adonis Bowie [26]

Status - Currently Attending 4th year

Parents - Galina Bowie and Tethoris Bowie

Siblings - Ruslan Bowie

Inkling - Glitch

Similar to teleportation, he looks like a glitching program before suddenly appearing in a different area, but can only go 5 feet away from his original location at a time.

Major - Technology 1 + Technology 2 + Geography

Minor - Potion Study

Extracurriculars - Spellbook Club

Intelligent, Fast, Absent Minded

Really likes video games and technology, caught playing games during class multiple times

Has a lot of potential, and has good grades but not good time management and is easily distracted. A and B honor roll

Samuel Trynor [27]

Status - Currently Attending 4th Year

Parents - Troy Trynor

Siblings - None

Inkling - Smoke

He can release collums of smoke from his palms

Major - Inkling Study 5 + Dark Magic 4

Minor - Magical Creature Study 3 + Geography

Extracurriculars - Adolescent/ Gen Z Club known as the Flame Kids

Lazy , Unsanitary, Deliquent

Really likes junk food, almost always eating something during class + often comes to class late or smelling like marijuana

He’s powerful but unstable mentally, and dosent exercise his intelligence. I’m surprised that he’s still here and hasn’t dropped out or been expelled. Cs and Ds

Trent McCoy [26]

Status - Currently Attending 4th year

Parents - Aubrey McCoy and Alicus McCoy

Siblings - None

Inkling - Super Strength

He can lift things 20 times his size with ease

Major - Inkling Study 3 + Magical Creature Study 2

Minor - Intro to Spellcasting

Extracurriculars - Football Club and Adolescent club known as the Flame Kids

Egotistical, Ignorant

Really seems to like himself and name brand clothes. Wears something drastically different everyday

He’s intelligent and powerful but usually focuses on the wrong thing. A+ honor roll

This document was typed and printed by Claire Ohasibi, the principle of Alinthi University, and revised by the board of Education and staff.

This document is strictly for school records, and is not to be used for black mail and/or copyright infringement or fraud. Anyone trying to use this document for such matters will be prosecuted to the highest extent of the law.

[colesartandbooksandstuff]

Boyfriend Material- Alexis Hall

Background: This book has been on my radar for a bit, it hasn’t been getting major buzz but it was sold out of my independent bookstore (and I come from a pretty conservative town, so that was a surprise). It’s been billed as this year’s Red, White, and Royal Blue (Casey McQuiston). That is my 2nd favorite book, so I’m ready. I am hesitant to jump into the New Adult category. I’m turning 20 in less than 2 months, so I’ve started to age out of YA; I don’t want to read stories set in high school anymore. The only NA books I’ve read were RWRB and House of Earth and Blood (SJM). I loved both, but when I look at New Adult it all looks trashy. Its marketed towards mostly straight women (ex. After- Anna Todd), and the rest seem to be only online or ebooks. Hopefully if this is successful I can find more books being published with similar settings.

First Half: Oh My Gosh. I don’t even know how to describe my love for this book. It is so relatable. I have been taking pictures of individual lines and phrases and texting them to my friends. I can’t decide if I feel more like Luc or Oliver but they are both perfect. Unlike a lot of romance novels, there is only one POV, so you don’t know if the feelings are reciprocated and I am dying. It is such a fast read even tough its 400 pages. It doesn’t feel like reading a book, it feels like you’re talking to your best friend. I know that that is an incredibly weird way to describe a book, but I just mean that it is so sarcastic, written perfectly for young millenials/old Gen Z, and realistic in today’s world. I might have to buy another copy just in case I ever date a guy that is worth giving it to (just like why I have 2 copies of Red, White, and Royal Blue).

Second Half: Everything that could possibly happen happened. My heart was broken twice, but thankfully put back together. Luc’s dad is an asshole. I don’t have complaints except that the sex scenes weren’t graphic- this is fine but when the characters are 28 and its stocked in the romance genre/New Adult it expected a little bit. He mentioned his vibrator like 10x, but we couldn’t get a crumb of dick?? I’m just touch starved and desperate; don’t mind me. I loved it. The first half was a lot stronger than the second half, if they cut 50 pages it would have been amazing.

Overall: I’m really stuck between 4 and 5 stars. I loved some parts, the dialogue was perfect. I wish that it was dual POV and that it was more graphic, but this was the author’s debut. For that I’m going to give it all 5. I will certainly read any future books by Alexis Hall.

[mechaspirit]

Finally manage to get my Dragon Raja MC’s (Mika) profile down. The template is credited to @schedelroma so thank you for that! ❤️🌙

In addition to that, I also added some relationship status and more details below since I can’t fit them all in the template. I might make more headcanons about Mika later, so feel free to ask me more about her if you like! Ask box or DM sounds good!❤️

Relationship status:

Allies: Luminous (Best Male friend/little brother figure), Caesar (Senior/Leader), Nono (Senior/Big Sister figure/2nd best female friend), Johann(Senior/Mentor/Romantic Crush), Finger (Friend at times), Eri (Friend/little sister figure), Renata(1st best female friend/foster sister), Chisei Gen, Colby (Pet dragon?…idk).

Enemies: Herzog (former foster father), Bonderev

Neutral: Chime Gen, Z(foster brother), Ming Z Lu, Mai Sakatoku.

Fun facts:

Mika’s family was killed when she was still a baby, by some group of people who are targeting hybrids. Her parents managed to send her to a safe place in a transportable pod before their last breath. Fortunately and unfortunately for Mika, Herzog found her in a pod and then raised her in the Black Swan Bay orphanage in Siberia, where she met Renata and Z.

The mark on her left eye is her birthmark. It sometimes glows along with her eyes when she activates her Talents/EX skills. Outside of Cassell College, she applies makeup to conceal it.

She has a high passion for music. Her main instruments are piano and violin.

She easily gets annoyed when people make fun of her height.

In training sessions or on missions, Mika is usually partnered up with Luminous. Johann is the one mentoring them.

Luminous is the one who introduces Mika to gaming and anime. Imagine his reaction when he first finds out that Mika doesn’t even know what anime is (well, she lives in a secluded part of Siberia. Can you blame her?).

On top of that, she doesn’t know what a host/hostess club is. You can tell that the guys really have a field day trying to explain that to her at Takamagahara.

Nono is the one who did Mika’s hair and took the latter to shopping. In addition to that, she adores her and sometimes hugs Mika, mostly when no one’s around.

Mika’s favorite spot was at the balcony outside of the Cassell Library where you can see the mountains, buildings, and the huge sky. She usually goes out there at night to watch some stars and it helps her calm her down when she’s feeling stressed or crestfallen. Perhaps the only other person who knew about her secret place is Johann, since he usually goes to the library to study and oftentimes saw Mika passing by over there.

Mika adores Erii mainly because of her cute personality.

One time when Luminous suggested leaving Erii at the palace behind since Death Servitors won’t attack her, Mika pulled out her gun, aimed it at him, and said “I will literally drill this bullet into your head before that happens.”

There’s some bad blood between Mika and Mai Sakatoku.

Colby is some sort of secret pet no one knows about yet.

Mika did start out as a GunSlinger, but as time has pass, she eventually requires magical powers that allow her to become a Reaper. I’ll probably create a fanfic of how Mika manages to acquire that power when I have time. But she switches these two classes back and forth, since being a Reaper requires too much of her energy. The spiritual Raven is named “Kuro”, while the Spiritual Cat is named “Luna”.

[iguessishouldbethankful]

what do you think the sf team does in their free time? like... when they have a "day off" and get to relax? ♥️🐦

You ask me this and you don’t specify which generation of the team. SMH. Lmao I know you meant the current main one but I feel the need to kinda explore a little with all three gens? Let’s see how this goes.

Star Fox 1st Generation: (of note, it’s interesting how all of them but Pigma had established families)

James McCloud - Smoker, suave, not as energetic as his wigmate, Peppy. And yet, he had enough in him to keep following his friend around. But honestly, James interested were more quiet and work oriented. A workaholic. Mind always on the team and the responsibilities he took on. Almost a complete perfectionist with a calming nature. His hobbies outside of work were few, and most were made with spending time with Peppy, Beltino, Pigma, the Greys and their families. Forming a taste for alcoholic beverages with Peppy, and appreciating the retro military look of space ships with Pigma, and the techno babbles of Beltino. Honestly, it still surprises him that he was able to find a wonderful wife in the end considering how work oriented he was, and focused. Vixy was possibly the only thing that kept him focused outside of work the most until she passed away. Then it was just Fox. And their times together were mostly focused on military history, documentaries, a continuous path of learning and studying. It was fulfilling and relaxing for James.

Peppy Hare - A much younger Peppy would be a spry little thing. More in shape, physically stronger and beaming to high heavens. And of course, a young husband and father like James. For his free time, besides catching up with the Toads and the Greys, Peppy would usually just spend time with Vivian and little Lucy. Before them, he was mostly into bar hopping with James around Corneria’s capital. Dancing with the single ladies and flirting. He was much better at it than James, honestly. He’s also a really good dancer. But once he tied the knot with Vivian and had Lucy, his world became just the two of them outside of work. He’d take them to picnics and spoil both with flowers and stories and nothing but his time to give to them. He’d even read his newspaper out loud so Lucy would know what the subjects were. She loved the voices he’d make. His family was everything…

Pigma Dengar - First time I’m thinking about this fool before he went to the dark side. And honestly, I can easily see him being more relaxed on his own. In the hangar after a hard day’s work upgrading Arwings with Beltino’s help. A good pack of cigarettes, a deck of cards, a handful of dice or maybe online gaming to keep his mind off things. Hell, I still see him being the kind of guy that would sit down with the kids and show them how to gamble honestly. Fox, Lucy, Slippy and Bill… And both Bill and Lucy remember the nasty little betting tricks too. Pigma was very much into gambling and taking bets on his off time too. He would get a lot of money, lose a lot of it, but in the early stages, it calmed him. Working on older models of ships helped him too. It’s rather unfortunate that this is where Lucy got some of her fascination for old model space ships, because of the magazines and books Pigma would let her look at. Modding was a big part of his younger life and he enjoyed that before joining the team. It… went away when things got worse.

Beltino Toad - I headcanon that, even if Beltino wasn’t part of the team, he was still a very important external force that helped out a lot. Especially with Pigma. So I will count him into my headcanon piece. He’s into making little machine toys. Like making little machine creatures and devices. To him, it keeps his mind sharp and there is always a new project on his table to go home to that isn’t an all consuming one. In fact, it’s one he could share with Slippy when he was old enough to walk. It helped with the two of them bonding and getting into other geeky stuff. Hell, Beltino was the type of father that would get into anything Slippy wanted to get into, so after that, he was a goner. Trading card games to video games, even modding them on the computer and making his own became his hobby as much as Slippy���s. In a way, spending time with his family was his way to relax.

Star Fox 2nd Generation:

Fox McCloud - I see Fox as being rather similar to his father in many ways. At first, he didn’t have as many hobbies that were formed on his own. Most of them were things he got into with his friends, Slippy, Bill and Lucy. With Slippy, he actually tried watching some of the cartoons but instead he was into more live action fighters (similar to Power Rangers). And with Lucy, he got into model kits of space ships. He has a few still. Whereas with Bill, he got into sports like baseball and handball. Hell, all four of them were into playing against each other in any game. But once his father died, Fox became more sullen and quiet. His interests were more work focused with the occasional gaming with Slippy. His shell started to break after the war however. So gaming is something he’s into now, as well as reckless space racing which, much to Peppy’s dismay, is something he got into with Falco. And meditation. That he learned with Krystal.

Falco Lombardi - This bird has no chill. Joking, he does. Falco’s free time is dictated by what he feels like doing. Besides trying to not be the worst gamer in the team–and that doesn’t exactly relax him at all but he keeps doing it. But what he does enjoy is watching cartoons with Slippy. Funny enough, they both have an unofficial established bond over ‘anime’ series such as Dino Ball Z and Sailor Papetoon. Something about the sailors legs, man… Ahem. But out of everything, Falco is into anything that will give him a sudden rush. Flying for any reason, races, pushing his own limits in the cockpit. And outside of his Arwing, well… Falco is reckless due to him wanting that rush continuously. From bar fights to even amusement park rides. Not the best of hobbies, to want to feel the danger behind his actions, but it’s something he became addicted to in a way. Staying cooped up somewhere will only make him more aggressive due to ‘my thoughts won’t stop, I need to drown them’ so he needs to keep moving.

Peppy Hare - In comparison to his younger self, a much older Peppy is much more sullen. Quiet, always looking after the younger team. His free time is usually dictated by what he needs to show them–trying to find the patience to guide them when anything sparks off. But when things are quiet, he finds himself mostly contacting old friends such as Beltino and Pepper, especially after Vivian passed away. Sometimes he’d contact Lucy, ask her how the cadets are doing, how she is doing. However such things aren’t as often as him sitting down with either Fox or Falco to chat with them. And even then, strangely, he seems to bond a little more with Falco at times, taking the time to pry open the avian. Why? Just a hunch. They have quite a bit in common without either of them knowing. He’s also very much fond of tea. Don’t bitch at him about his leaf water, leave him be!!

Slippy Toad - Listen here. Slippy is a bucket of hobbies. When he’s not working on machinery, making new inventions for his team, guess what he’s doing? This guy is making games on his computer for fun, testing them with Falco on the side (because he knows the difficulty curve Falco secretly needs to get shit done in a game, and if Falco is able to complete a task, the games is way too easy). When not making or playing games, he is having forum/server discussions with some of his online friends about cartoons and shows he’s into. He will actually share this with Falco a lot if it’s something the avian is into as well. He will also get into online trading card games and goes into bidding wars over certain real cards that are mega vintage. He also has a toy figure collection he keeps around in his dorm on the Great Fox (most of them are at home with his dad though). He’s also into music. All of the music that slaps in the Great Fox? That’s all Slippy. Bless him. Lastly, one more thing. He owns a ukelele. He knows how to play it. That is actually the mostly relaxing thing he can do for himself when he does feel absolutely anxious. Just sit somewhere quiet, away from everyone and string away.

Krystal - She’s a bit more simple in comparison. Used to living on her own in the wilderness, most of her free time consists of returning to Sauria to help restore the planet as much as she can. Empathy work is also something she truly enjoys doing when the recipient permits her to do so. So far, Fox and Slippy permitted her to work on some of their mental wounds. And yes, taught Fox how to meditate and relax in the silence as she found out Fox was never comfortable being alone. Out of the entire team, she’s possibly the one that’s most comfortable being herself.

Star Fox 3rd Generation:

Marcus McCloud - Unlike his father and his grandfather, Marcus is actually much more active when it comes to fun. A bit of a sports jock when in school and the Academy, he very much enjoys exercise to keep himself in shape and to keep his mind off things that can get under his skin. He enjoys gaming as well, but nothing compares to Skipper and Abby. Still better than Falco though, lmao.

Abigail Hare - Possibly the edgiest out of the team. She’s into reading books because of her mother, Lucy, and most of them are dark and spooky. Why? No dad, it’s not a phase. She also enjoys cartoons and is into retro space ships like Lucy (and got to drag her father into it as well). Now, the one thing her and her little brother, Valentino Hare, share in hobbies is that they both are actual super into healthy foods. This is mostly due to the shared rabbit disease passed down by mothers in Vivian’s bloodline. After Lucy passed away, Falco helped his kids to get into a much better diet and it became a shared thing between all three.

Skipper Toad - The oldest of the Toad siblings. He had to fight his way to stay relevant and boy, he’s merciless when it comes to his energy. Non stop, naturally caffeinated young man. From video games to schematics for lunch, to learning how to hack into different systems and databases to get information in a more proactive manner, he’s pretty much into many things that keeps him busy all the time.

Falco Lombardi - Like Peppy, he’s much older now, mellowed out, widower and a father of two. Abigail is his oldest, Valentino is his youngest (and that one stays on Corneria under the watchful eye of General Peppy). Ever since Lucy passed on, he’s been much more attached to his kids than ever, constantly checking on Valentino while with the team, and making sure the new team is able to stand on it’s own two feet. He finds it amusing how he’s the ‘gramps’ now, even though he still gets guidance from Peppy along the way. Sometimes Fox as well, but most of their conversations are just casual updates on how the new generation is doing. Honestly, he’s still kind of reckless, mostly to keep Marcus on his toes and to teach Abigail how to fly much better than what the Academy taught her. Honestly, the new team itself is his free time. He’d trade his place in there for nothing in the universe.

[soooldout]

Who remembers Dramatic Blue and Dynamic Black...

Dynamic Black were a whole lot more dramatic tho... that intro had me in tears

Anyway bring back 2nd gen-early 3rd gen collabs we need them!

[sawadeekpop]

Ploy and her dog 🥰

[royalty-red]

2nd gen Z-stars...so far

Indonesia

 boys: lorensius 

girls: gispanita

 Philippines:

boys: Dave

 girls: Zillnani

[z-stars]

I heard something where the girls said that there was a plan for the 1st gen to "redebut" with official group names of their choosing, and that the 2nd gen would take on the names of ZStars. Something like that. Like I really hope there's no disbandment of any kind 😖😖

Ooh I haven’t heard of that before. Can you send the link of where you read that? And I guess it would make sense for that to happen. I just thought that z-stars will kept their names and 2nd gen will have different names but 🤷🏻‍♀️

[amigolupus]

Thoughts on PnF Season 3

I’ve actually finished Phineas and Ferb season 3 a few days back, and am now in the middle of season 4. All in all, WOW! I’m really impressed at how they ramped up the quality of the episodes. While season 2 episodes ranged from ‘okay to great’, season 3 episodes turned it to ‘great to amazing’.

Besides the increase in animation quality, they’re also playing around with the formula a lot more. Like how some episodes Candace never even tries busting the boys, or even joining them, or the episode focusing on other characters.

It’s also neat how other characters have bits of development. Like Norm being a complete sweetheart. or some of the Fireside girls being differentiated, or even Jeremy and Stacy. It’s honestly kind of a bummer that Jeremy and Stacy don’t get to appear more in future episodes when they’ve been more prominent at the start of the season.

Monty as the newest addition to the show is alright. He fills the niche of competent human agent in O.W.C.A. I like him a lot more when he’s not being developed as Vanessa’s love interest (though I think Monty and Carl are cute together)

Also, remember me mentioning season 2 had a lack of adult jokes due to S&P meddling? Well, never mind that for season 3 lol.

Some brief thoughts on other episodes under the cut:

Canderemy:  Stacy’s got a point that Candace does bring up Jeremy a lot when she’s not trying to bust the boys. It’s totally a friend thing for her to mess with Candace by pretending she doesn’t know the two were joined though.

Candace Disconnected: The true millennial or gen Z horror story: Your phone’s broken and you have no way to replace it...unless you have genius siblings to make you a new one.

Magic Carpet Ride: Lawrence being so accepting of the way the boys defy the laws of physics and just enjoying spending time with the kids is so dang wholesome. Also, wow, Doof’s backstory here is just painful after watching Gravity Falls. While Doof is similar in a lot of ways to Stan, here we see that he’s in the same position as Ford where a very important project of his got ruined by his brother’s carelessness. And then Roger spent twenty years restoring Doof’s painting... Just. OUCH. If Stan and Doof met, this would prolly be one thing they’d have an argument about.

Phineas and Ferb Interrupted: I love that Linda spends time willingly with Candace this episode because she wants them to bond. Also Perry’s face when he realizes Doof’s Inator hit PnF was priceless, especially how this is one of the few times Perry doesn’t mess around to bust Doof because of the boys being in trouble.

A Real Boy: I think of this more as a dark comedy. I’m thinking the reason Doof doesn’t treat Norm right is prolly a mix of Doof not being too attached to his Inators since it gets destroyed all the time, and him designing Norm to look kind of like Roger makes Doof more predisposed to be mean to Norm.

Escape from Phineas Tower: Gotta love the moment of PnF asking the others if they want to go to the death trap tower and them going “Yeaaaaah, nope!”.

Ferb Latin: Seriously, Linda and Lawrence alone in the Sensory Deprivation Tank? How did this get past the censors?

A Phineas and Ferb Family Christmas: This episode works as a half-loving/half-mocking tribute to tacky network-mandated Christmas specials. The best joke is getting a Celebrity Guest Star to sing a song and never letting them sing anything.

Tri-Stone Area/  Doof Dynasty / Excaliferb / Phineas and Ferb and the Temple of Juatchadoon: Just bundling these together as a bunch of specials that are loving homages to different types of shows/genres. It’s cool how well PnF work with just about any genre.

Monster from the Id:  Candace being a neurosis and anxiety-riddled mess in her mind is so relatable. Also this is one of the few episodes we get hints of Candace and Buford being unlikely friends.

The Remains of the Platypus:  What. The. Fuck. This remains the most insane PnF episode ever. It’s GREAT!

Meapless in Seattle: Knowing that this was just a bunch of unrelated scenes made for a fake trailer that went on to be a full episode is awesome. I bet the creators had a hell of a time trying to come up with a series of events that would stitch the entire thing together.

Delivery of Destiny: Now this is a pretty cool concept, basing the entire episode around one of the regular folks in PnF-land. I do feel sorry for poor Paul, sticking with a job he doesn’t feel hot about (even if he did get some new perspective to appreciate it)

The Mom Attractor: While Candace gave the idea to create something that will bust the boys, it’s really heartwarming how it ended in a small party for Linda with Candace getting the credit. Also Lawrence is such a good dad, when Candace asked him what Linda liked he immediately said Candace, Phineas and Ferb.

Cranius Maximus: I was wondering if Buford would keep up the characterization and never give Baljeet a wedgie again after the events of ‘Bully Bromance Break-Up’. Technically, he doesn’t actually do it to Baljeet but to his death machine. And I suppose if you tried to destroy the entire world after you go on a power trip from a brain-enhancing device, the threat of a wedgie is probably kind of deserved. But yeah, it looks like Buford has dropped giving Baljeet wedgies!

Sipping with the Enemy: Man, Perry is an absolute friend this episode, covering for Vanessa like that. Also hipsters being treated as cool folks is hilarious considering what people think of hipsters nowadays.

Tri-State Treasure: Boot of Secrets:  Fun as the A-plot was, I do feel sorry for Candace going through all that trouble to get the memorabilia she wanted, only for The Mysterious Force to screw her over in the end. Seriously, OUCH.

Doofapus: This has to be up there as one of the “this is so wrong” episodes. Doof turning himself into a platypus was bad enough, but then Candace got turned into a friggin’ puddle. By comparison, Buford keeping life-sized moulds of all his friends is tame. Also hey, Buford considers Candace his friend!

Where's Perry?: I’m a huge sucker for Perry being so caring to PnF so this episode hit me right in the heart. Just one big awwwwww. Also, Evil Carl’s biker outfit is so fab~ Also scarily competent. This is what, the second or third time another character got turned evil and proved WAY more competent at it than even Doof? And yeah, Carl STILL being an unpaid intern for all his services is pure evil. Doof Was Right!!!

Road to Danville: Perry and Doof are the best of friends. Seriously, Perry doing the chestbump and pointing at Doof made me teary-eyed. Also, it’s been pointed out that Perry and Phineas did the same thing in PnF: Across the 2nd Dimension, so it just highlights how important Doof is to Perry as well. Also Doof is an amputee with titanium arms. ...What?!

This Is Your Backstory: Despite being a clipshow episode, the fact that Doof gets defeated by being reminded of his friendship with Perry had me smiling.

Blackout!: This was actually just a merely Great episode. It just SEEMS worse only because the past few episodes preceding it were all pretty fantastic. I really liked how setting the entire episode in a blackout was pretty much an excuse for the artists to take it easy and not have to do much work haha.