#your audience looking at you and going 'I actually can't / won't pay for that' is part of the deal of creator and audience tbh

[canisonicscrewyou]

My thing about "they are artists charging for their work" as an artist who has charged for their work, albeit in a MUCH different context and scale.... Like. Yeah. I guess we aren't entitled to free work , that's so true. Just like they are not entitled to an audience and they can price themselves out of their work too. It sucks. That's what market research is for. Dropping a complete change like this with little transitional period is, what I would call, a bad move.

[yanderefarm]

yandere crime lord x sadistic male reader

cw;; torture, burn wounds, blood, gore, stockholm syndrome, yandere, drugs, kidnapping, murder, smoking, cruel reader

here he is.... my most fucked up bby girl. i wrote this a little differently than the others... i had a different vibe in mind.

achilles is the eldest son of a notorious mob family, the second most powerful in charge right under his father. he makes lots of big decisions, like his recent attempts to take over a smaller gang with cruelty and force. unfortunately being a sexy big shot comes with its own little vices, achilles likes smoking for instance. nasty habit especially for someone in his position, doesn't he realize how vulnerable he is when he's taking a smoke break? so easy for you to drug.

you flick some of the cigarette ash towards the man in question. he's on his knees arms tied behind his back and duct tape over his mouth. he keeps shooting you dirty looks. it's funny.

"such a waste..."

you run a red room service on the dark web. essentially, anyone with enough money can hire you to kidnap and torture whoever they want. some people hire you to make elaborate snuff videos with their desires all written out for you, other people let you and your audience decide what kind of torture would take place over your live streams. that's where the handsome man in front of you came from, the gang he'd been destroying had bought your services.

you had already explained that to him, as well as mocked him for his cigarette habit. now you were letting one of the cigarettes burn before your stream actually started, you didn't actually smoke it choosing instead to let him watch you waste it. his scowl was hot.

his screams were hotter. the first hour in, you had him covered in cigarette burns and his stomach flinching away from your touch. the second hour in, he had multiple gashes all over his trembling body. the third hour in, he had finally started to sob and his body was covered in lovely bruises.

"sorry guys, we can't kill him yet. but that means we get a toy for a little while!" you gripped his hair and brought his tear stained face up to the camera. "say goodbye to our friend!"

and that ended your first stream with your new toy. you cleaned him up and brought him to his new room.

"you'll probably be the show tomorrow unless I get another job. eat up." you gave him a nice dinner and pulled the duct tape off his mouth.

"... when will I die?"

"dunno. good work chilles, sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

that's how it began. the guy ended up being your show about half the week for the next two months. never enough to kill him and every day you cleaned up his wounds and took good care of him. he never cursed you or complained about his place he would ask you questions and thank you for the food. it was pleasant conversation, he was a nice companion in your otherwise drab life.

it was halfway into the third month when you got news that those gang members who hired you were dead. you'd been waiting the whole time for them to pay for you to kill achilles and now it was never coming. at least you made good money from your streams in the meantime.

"you're free to go." you stood in the doorway of achilles's room.

his eyes looked at you, slowly widening as he realized what you said. "wh.. why?"

"m gonna drug you up and drop you in front of your house. you won't know where you were but I'd really appreciate if you didn't try to come after me at all. "

"why are you letting me go? did something happen?"

"you should quit smoking by the way. maybe i won't be able to get you-"

you saw something in his eyes snap. those eyes that had been practically blank the whole time even when the torture made him lose his voice from screaming. now they were dark and hazy, significantly more threatening than he'd been before. he crawled on his hands and knees to your leg and looked up at you with tears in his eyes.

"why....? am i not.. did i do it wrong? i can be a good toy."

you were caught off guard by his reaction. "uh... well uh the guys who hired me like... they died without paying me to kill you. so like... i don't have a reason to keep you?"

"how much?"

"huh??"

"how much do you need to keep me?"

you reached down and gently carded your hand through his hair. "you don't want to stay here, dumbass."

"yes I do." he nuzzled his head into your hand.

"you really want to stay here and get tortured until you die? use your brain."

his darkened eyes looked up at you with the most pathetic look. "i want to stay with you."

"fuck" he's cute? he's cute. "ok...jesus, lets do this. you go home, get reunited with your family, try to get back to normal life. and I'll contact you so if you still want to be LITERALLY tortured over living your normal life I'll bring you back. ok?"

"you'll actually come get me, right?"

"yeah. I'll get you and I won't even make you pay."

"I'll be back soon." he rubbed his head against your leg. "please get your favorite tools ready."

[catgirl-kaiju]

something that i find fascinatingly stupid about the nature of the modern internet advertising apparatus, is the existence of platforms that allow you to experience their content free with ads but also have a paid version that removes the ads. like, on face value, it makes perfect sense. people in general hate ads and we hate ads so much that we will even resort to paying for a subscription service to remove them, given all free routes to circumvent them have failed. ads suck and they ruin the experience of enjoying literally any type of media, we at Blimbo Video know this, which is why we're willing to remove them if you pay a $10 a month Blimbo+ Subscription.

but, let's take a look at this from another angle:

who exactly is being advertised to here? well, ostensibly, people who don't have enough money to pay for the subscription service or who don't care to spend money on Blimbo+. so, the audience that advertisers get is a bunch folks who are too poor to justify spending $10 a month for Blimbo+, a group of people who are substantially less likely to buy your product or service because they are less likely to have the money for it. who you really want to advertise to are the people paying for Blimbo+ because they are more likely to have money to spend on your product, but you can't advertise to them because they have paid Blimbo Video a crisp $10 to avoid your advertisements, because your ads suck and no one wants them.

so, in this scenario, the advertisers themselves are, frankly, getting kind of a bad deal. they are paying Blimbo Video a substantial amount of money to have their advertisements hosted on their platform, but because of the paid subscription model, they are filtering out anyone with money to spend on your warm and juicy products and services. what the fuck? the only ones profiting in the scenario are the corporate leadership of Blimbo Video, who get to use your shitty ads as a kind of threat against their users to compel them to sign up for Blimbo+.

all this to say, companies: stop wasting your money on buying ad space on youtube and spotify and mobile games and tubi and Blimbo Video, and free us from your truly terrible advertisements. go back to just putting ads in magazines and on billboards. maybe stay off of tv too, because people have been able to just fast forward over your shitty little abominations for a while now. actually, you know what, i won't give you billboards or magazines either, just leave us alone and focus on creating goods and services that are of high enough quality that they justify themselves to consumers. oh and maybe think about letting the workers control your means of production as well, thank you.

[taiey]

hi guys i watched Pangi's vod An honest talk with Flamefrags and came out of it A Flame Fan 💖 i shall now attempt to spread this affliction 😌

Like I do appreciate just the bare fact that he did log in to chat with Pangi, because he asked. And then went and... built a house with him? Just because. Like they spent an hour this, he's not actually kidding when he says that he does show up for other people's bits.

Anyway. Here are some things Flame says, when they got onto building:

I don't like building: everything I build gets destroyed

I won't build at spawn, I'm scared I'll get arrow cannon'd

I don't like getting attached to places, someone'll trap it

"putting the entrance *here* would make sense but if it's *here* I can see more people if they come to attack me"

Having pets also gets him killed, "I had to drop that a while back."

"How can you dedicate this much time to something, just to know it could be gone instantly?"

(me like a month ago: huh Flame keeps going through the wall instead of the door of his base, that's potentially interesting.) (me now: oh NO) this is what being immortal means, apparently: being constantly aware of all the ways you could die.

so. in. addition to your "man who had to burn off him caring about anything other than fighting because it will get him killed". thing. 🥺

There's the whole audience angle that I find tasty to chew on. Like he opens by saying, he dies once on Lifesteal and everyone's mocking him and he wanted to prove himself. And then the "I have four thousand people watching me and now I let them all down and they start slandering me in the chat"—calling it clickbait, I hear. And it's like—

Did you know one time Flame was a streaming grinding villagers in his volcano-adjacent base and someone paid him money to tell him they would pay him more money if he killed Zam? (the answer, at the time, was—I'm not killing Zam, I'm allied with him, Zam built this base.) Did you know one time he killed Jepexx, metaphorically turns to the camera to say "chat, you be begging me to kill people. Then look, I just killed him in three hits. Are you happy? That's why I want to fight actual good people, like... Is this what you guys wanted? An easy kill?" and then two minutes later he died to Leowook's void trap? Like the emergent symbolism, guys. Did you hear that he died to a wither he had already killed because he was responding to chat?

"I have to blow up spawn tonight or I'm lying, again"

i want to Chew

And then there's a reflection of the stream audience in the audience of, like Wemmbu, and Manepear, which we get in inside flamefrags mind, like... can you back down when other people are looking at you expecting it, encouraging it, going through with it with or without you? You can't understand the - character of Flamefrags without putting that pressure somewhere. (i do like fics where these characters are streaming their own lives)

They blow up his house; Mane says it was just Wemmbu and that Wemmbu didn't know it was Flame's but we don't know. He was very suspicious and withheld for a long time but by the end of it he was joking with Pangi and putting real effort into making the fireplace look nice with the bricks and the grate. Like, like, like—You take - one step down a path you've been avoiding for so long because every time you've tried it leads to ruin. And then your friends burn it down. Don't go that way, even a little. Just blow stuff up, that's what's fun, that's what we do for fun. Not that.

. . . probably reading too much into it.

Also he said he expected that if he'd fought the six people everyone would've just run away as soon as he started winning/killed one person, and told Pangi his plans for later were getting enchanted apples, and just generally gave the impression that he could plausibly win a 6v1 by straightforwrdly having 20 hearts and notch apples and being Flamefrags. :) i am not immune to being an audience that thinks it's neat when he's super good at fighting. :) also also it's not just the four Declared Pacifists he's complaining about, they made a list of thirteen people on lifesteal who in general wouldn't fight (4c, zam, ecorridor, midmystixc, mrcube, pangi, squiddo, jaron, kaboodle, poafa, terrain, spepticle, woogie) and you could add or subtract a couple (pangi argued him out of bacon; uh, i do dispute,) but gosh that actully is a lot.

In conclusion Pangi's going to make a Flame Lore video and I hope it is Good and I can just point people at that when it's out 🙏

[silentstyx]

Claustrophobic

summary- in which you Ethan, Benny, and Sarah all get stuck in one confined space.

tw- claustrophobia, cursing, tbh not really bad.

It's really not that much about the relationship, you can just ignore those parts if you just want one big fluffy group(ish) fic. Sorry this like really sucks, I'm not proud of this at all omg.

established relationship (Ethan x reader)

The nerd hunt. It was a shock to no one that your boyfriend and his friends were geeks, but what was a shock was when they wanted to go hunting for some weird monster geek shit. The only ones that complained were you and Erica. The only difference is you went, she stayed home. Probably going to a party instead. You just wanted to go to have more time with Ethan and hang out with him.

"So where are we even going to?" You ask while getting in the back of Benny's grandma's car. Ethan had gotten in after you.

"I don't know exactly the place's name but it's-" Ethan had started before he was interrupted by an excited Rory.

"To an underground cave!" Rory had exclaimed, "we're going to look if there’s gonna be any mummies in there!"

While Benny and Ethan rolled their eyes, you and Sarah just laughed at the pure excitement from Rory.

"Well I'm going to tell you ahead of time, there is a low chance of finding any mummies in a cave?" you inform him while laughing.

Benny starts the car and has to give it a second before starting your drive there. About 20 minutes into the drive Ethan held your hand, he was definitely nervous about it, hyping himself up the 20 minutes that had passed.

After about an hour of driving we arrived at the cave, that was when I realized exactly how this was going to be. It was a small entrance, meaning it was a tight tunnel.

"Is now a bad time to mention I'm severely claustrophobic?" you asked the general audience of the car while chuckling.

"seriously? we live in a place where vampires, witches, and just monsters are like most common... and you're scared of tight spaces?" Benny says annoyed.

All you could do was roll your eyes at him as Sarah, Ethan, and Rory get out of the car. Ethan helps you out of the car aswell.

Once you all have been walking in the caves for a while, you realize that these halls are actually huge. Until you all see an elevator. An old, tiny, elevator. It was the only other way to go than from where you had come in from, which you wouldn't even remember how to leave.

You all go in on the tiny elevator, once the elevator started shaking you could feel your body going off. You were sweating, clinging onto Ethan's arm, nauseous, shaking, and there was so much weight on your chest that you couldn't breath.

"I can't do this, i told you i cant do enclosed spaces, especially you etha-" you start to yell.

The elevator stops. The doors didn't open. Now you really start panicking. A million words in your head at once, several conversations happening at one time in your mind just to overwhelm you. You wanted to sob, scream, cuss out everyone in the elevator. Except that wouldn't help anything. So you check your phone to see if you have service, of course you don't. You're more than 20 feet underground. Then Benny starts banging on the walls of the elevator.

"If you're a nerd, act like one. That won't help." You yell at benny.

You try to pry open the doors, didn't work. Rory was smashing the open button, but still it wasn't opening.

That's when you had this idea, "hey vampires, what if you took us up to the top of the elevator and got us out of the hole thats already open! Because ya know, super strength, ability to fly, can't die if you fall and what not are good ways to help us out in this kind of situation." You explained as calmly as you could while you still feel like you couldn't breath from the amount of pressure on your chest.

Sarah and Ethan look at you, agreeing with you that we should do that. Meanwhile Rory hadn't payed attention to a single thing you had said just now.

Except they were able to do it successfully, it's also quite safe to say that you were all running out the way you all came out. You and Ethan running hand in hand out.

Once you all made it out of the cave, you and Ethan were the first ones out and you two stood next to the entrance to the cave. Not wanting to block the exit/entrance.

"Are you okay? How are you feeling?" Ethan asks you, trying to catch his breath.

"It's okay, I'm okay." You tell him, hugging him and putting your face into his neck.

He hugs you back. He had tried to help when you started freaking out about the elevator but then it stopped and you all had to figure out what to do to get out. All he did was hold your hand the whole time.

Except it was enough to help you both think straight.

"ugh get a room." Benny said groaning as he saw you two, he and the others were walking slow out of the cave finally.

i do NOT give permission to copy or publish my work onto any other sites, dm me to translate any of it. otherwise there is no given consent for translation of @s3xiel4ss .

hey thats my masterlist!

Finished Writing: Fri May 24, 12:28 AM.

Count: 846 words, 4491 characters, 69 sentences.

[buginacup]

Today's Tynk! Update is all text, so you can read it here:

Talking about my experience looking for publishers, and the circumstances surrounding development at the moment.

One full year into the publisher-search gauntlet.

A little over a year ago I entered into some promising conversations with a few publishers about Tynk!

While I initially was hoping to avoid publishers entirely, I was recovering from a year full of disasters and was in the process of paying the 10k+ cut of my campaign funds in taxes. It was becoming increasingly clear that I wasn't going to be able to develop the game full time without some additional financial buoyancy.

Some of the publisher conversations fell by the wayside quickly, but a few remained active for months on months. It's impossible to really communicate the deep time that these conversations operate on, especially if you're not interested in accepting the boilerplate terms (please, never accept the boilerplate terms.) I've been aching to be more transparent about this element of the development process but frankly I haven't been able to while these conversations were happening - it's hard to negotiate one's pay if you're posting about desperately needing money to make your thing. I've been keeping a poker face as best I can while I ride this stuff out.

But, you can tell this update isn't called "Guess Who I Just Signed With ;)" - these conversations all withered to dead ends. I had been relatively optimistic about the success of these negotiations but in the past few months things turned sour. I can't fully know why things didn't work out. Some had alluded to the current harsh winds blowing through the industry, others were more enigmatic with their falloff in interest.

So what do we do?

The more I've worked on Tynk! the more I've loved it, but I won't deny that it is a big undertaking. I'm still interested in finding a publisher to speed things along - but since I'm suddenly back at square one I'm going to need to establish some other avenue of stability while I cast my line and wait for a nibble.

I don't know what my next move is. I'll be chipping away at Tynk! as always, but my current circumstances might require I give it less priority for long enough that I can produce something much smaller that I can actually sell. I've also been considering setting up a Patreon where I occasionally do tutorials on concept design, pixel art, and other visual arts techniques - but I'm unhappy to be courting my audience for cash when you've already been so generous. If I end up launching something like that and you've backed the game, please don't feel obligated to contribute to it! Also, if you have any thoughts or suggestions for what I can do you can email me at VirtualMothVG@gmail.com.

I'll be honest - I'm disheartened, exhausted, and sad. It's obvious that I'll need to spend more time "building an audience" again, but even if I wasn't burnt out by the process of vouching for my own value for a year straight I don't have a clear vision of what that looks like in the internet of 2024. Maybe I'll set up shop on Bluesky or Mastadon as well as resume frequent Twitter posting. I'll be sure to let everyone know once I've planned my presence.

Thanks for your patience as I figure stuff out - Dear Tynk is taking her sweet time, but she'll get here.

[crimeronan]

kitkat's dirt-cheap writing and editing services!

hello all! i'm kitkat, i'm a professional writer and editor who's been professionally writing and editing for well over ten years. as far as tumblr audiences go, though, i'm better known for my work over at ao3 elliptical.

the vast majority of my prior clients have dropped me for AI, and i need to build my freelancing base up again. so i've created a fiverr profile.

however, in order to get work on fiverr, you need good reviews. and before you have good reviews, you need to offer your services cheaply enough for people to take a chance on you.

so! i have some dirt-cheap offerings at the moment (11/14/23):

writing 500 words for $5

writing 1,100 words for $10

writing 1,700 words for $15

editing 1,000 words for $5, $10, or $15 (depending on how in-depth you go)

transcribing audio/video (price starts at $5 and depends on length)

my MAIN ask if you take advantage of the offer is to give me a five-star rating and nice review. if just a couple people here buy my stuff, i can show fiverr that i actually am good at my job. and then they'll show my profile to more people, and i can work up to a living wage!

quick faqs:

can i buy fanfic from you?

i cannot legally write fanfic for money. however, if there's a certain AU, relationship, character, prompt, etc., that you want to see, you can tell me (there should be a free-write space to explain what you're looking for when you order). then i can write you something that's "like" that, just with original names.

can i pay for you to edit/beta my fanfic or original fiction?

ABSOLUTELY, yes. just keep in mind that only the $15 tier currently includes in-depth comments and constructive feedback. with the $5 and $10 tiers, i'll happily proofread and check your grammar, but i won't have a ton of actionable feedback to give!

what's the copyright situation on this stuff?

you have the full rights to anything you buy from me on fiverr, forever. more in-depth explanation here!

i can't buy anything right now but want to support you. how can i do that?

it is 100% okay if you don't have money to spend (or simply don't wanna buy my writing)! one helpful thing you can do is favorite my profile, if you have a fiverr account. you can also make a fiverr account pretty fast if you have a gmail, but it is completely reasonable not to want to do that.

you can also reblog this post if you want! i think most of my potential audience for this already follows me..... but if anyone wants to sing my praises in reblogs, i definitely won't say no, LOL

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

In The Dark (BuckTommy Whump)

In The Dark (14,612 words) by NeverlandPoet Chapters: 9/9 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Tommy Kinard, Vincent Gerrard, Howie "Chimney" Han, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Ravi Panikkar, Maddie Buckley Additional Tags: Whump, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt Tommy Kinard, Internalized Homophobia, Racism, Canon-Typical Violence, Firefighter Evan "Buck" Buckley, Firefighters, set after season 7, Character Study, POV Evan "Buck" Buckley, Major Character Injury, Fire, Slurs, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Good Sibling Maddie Buckley

Summary: Working under Captain Gerrard again is a shock for the 118, especially as they are supposed to be present at this year's Pride Parade. Tommy is the only bright spot for Buck that day, but when they suddenly receive an assignment, he realizes that Tommy, of all people, is in the middle of it…

Finished! Chapter 1 is under the cut, full fic on AO3. Come say hi if you liked it ❤️

We will burn in the fire We will be branded in flames We will have to rise from the ashes From the fires of our own mistakes

Getting ready for shift, day 2 under Gerrard, who’s counting? You can do this.

Buck watches Ravi roll up the hoses. His fingers are itching to ever so slightly adjust the other’s angle of work, but with his distracted mind, the moment passes. Bobby will get his clearance soon. He will, he must.

“This is my first Pride,” says Ravi, “I mean, the parade. What to expect?”

Buck checks the equipment for the third time, but even the third time, everything is where it should be.

“Well, it's my first time too,” he replies with a shrug.

“Huh, were you off last year?”

“What? Oh, no.”

Buck slams the flap shut with a jerk. Sheepishly scratching his ear, he adds, “I mean, this year I’m... uh, this will be my first time as a... Anyway, Tommy and I have different shifts, we can't go, but there are still a lot of parties in the evening, maybe we can make it to one of those.”

“Keep the details about your fag lover where they belong – your underpants.”

Gerrard steps around the fire engine, smug grin on his face, provocatively running a finger through his moustache.

“Done checking? We can't wait forever for you guys.”

He looks at the two of them challengingly, but actually, Buck feels, Gerrard’s only looking at him. Ravi straightens up, he doesn't know the man, he’s just the current captain to him. Buck can't blame him, Ravi has learned that it pays to prove yourself, that it pays to make an effort. He’s learned that, like all of the 118, under Bobby. But Bobby’s not here.

“H... hold on, you can't say that.”

Even if the words dance on the tip of his tongue, Buck's gaze is firm. Gerrard stares at him, a gaze like a laser beam; but Buck is equipped with an invisible shield, and he returns the look.

“I can't tell you to do your job, Buckley? Really?”

“No,” Buck replies stubbornly, “I mean the other thing. The slur. You can’t say that, Gerrard.”

“Captain Gerrard,” the man corrects him in a deceptively soft voice. “You want to start with political correct language, do it in every respect. Pajeet here will agree with me, won't he?”

Gerrard shots a gaze at Ravi. Ravi's cheek muscles twitch, Buck knows he’s stifling a reply. He never thought about it, but how many times has Ravi heard things like these? How many times did he have to listen to bigoted, white men hurling insults at him? Buck clenches his fists. Anger is rising in him like an inextinguishable fire, and it's not wise, he knows this. He knows it, but there's Gerrard with his stupid grin, head slightly tilted as if to say, yeah, hit me boy, I'm waiting for it.

Hen appears at the truck, “There's plenty of bandages, Captain,” she says, as if she's read Gerrard's mind.

Gerrard wrinkles his nose as if Hen's appearance is some kind of stench that you just can't get rid of. But for now, he drops it. He slaps the fire engine; to Buck, this looks like he's slapping a woman's butt, and somehow, the analogy suits Gerrard. He's old school, as these guys like to say. They’re calling the vehicle baby, they’re joking about the hoses and involuntarily grab their crotches when a hydrant spurts out before the connection is made. None of this is unusual. A bit on the verge of extinction, and Buck can't exactly boast that he's never done anything like this. It's not great, but also not unusual. Gerrard, however… he’s a special sort of player.

They occupy the truck, and Buck just hopes his last glance at the interims captain is ice cold. Gerrard is sitting in front, now he can only pierce him with his eyes from behind. Hen looks kind of worried, so Buck nudges her.

“Hey, it'll be fine.”

“Huh?”

She adjusts her glasses, even though they’re absolutely straight. Following Buck’s gaze to Gerrard, she shakes her head.

“I don't know, just having a feeling,” she says.

Gerrard continues to stare ahead, but his ears are good for an old geezer, Buck thinks, as he interjects, “Feelings have no place in a fire truck.”

Hen ignores him, only giving Buck a warning glance as he frowns, clearly pondering about some fierce retort.

“Because of today’s job?” Ravi interjects.

“Oh, right,” says Buck, “Ravi was asking what to expect from the parade.”

He emphasizes Ravi and parade while carefully watching the back of Gerrard's head. This time, however, the man stays silent, and Hen turns to Ravi.

“It's not that wild,” she replies warmly, “people are generally rather peaceful. Sure, there’s the usual drunks falling into the shards of their own bottles. The odd brawl on the sidelines...”

“One year, a fire-eater accidentally set himself on fire,” Buck interjects, gesturing broadly. “Singed the eyebrows of three people who were standing a little too close.”

“Dumpster fires,” Chimney offers. He was the last to enter the truck, missing their earlier conversation with Gerrard, but he, too, seems kind of tense. They all are, actually. And it’s neither because of the parade nor because they’re missing Eddie, who has called in sick at short notice. Eddie isn't absent because of Gerrard, of course, but Buck wouldn't blame him if that were the reason. He himself had been feeling unwell this morning simply thinking about the captain, and thinking about what he’d done to Tommy. How he made him act. That guilt is still apparent on Tommy’s face, whenever Gerrard manages to creep into their topics.

“Hm,” Ravi replies with a frown, “nothing we couldn't be called in for, should it happen. Still not getting why we're ordered directly at the place, practically like a fire station for the day.”

“It's a madhouse, that's why.” Gerrard, of course.

“Statistics show that the presence of fire departments at the start of major events has a preventative effect,” says Hen, ignoring the captain. “Significant reduction of accidents, actually.”

“27 percent,” Buck throws in, and the other’s astonished looks bore into him. “What?”

“Less fire starters,” Hen nods. “One theory says people are more attentive because the presence of firefighters boosts their sense of community.”

For a moment, a discussion breaks out among Buck, Hen, Ravi and Chimney as everyone seems to have an opinion on this, but Gerrard's sharp voice interrupts them.

“Shut up, chicken coop. We're here for a job, not for your private bullshit.”

His gaze rests on Buck, and he feels his own fingernails clawing into his thigh. Bobby wouldn't want you to do anything rash. It’s his mantra for the rest of the ride.

[gachawolfiebloom]

Two Hearts In The City of Love

Chapter 12: Mr Puzzles' Amazing Couples Game Show Fanatic

Cover made by me and Puzzlevision selection is from Smg4. Please do not repost artwork.

Drumroll please...

3...

2..

1.

"Hello and welcome ladies and gentlemen! As always, it's your favorite TV host Mr Puzzles here! Now I know our last gameshow didn't quite go according to plan now did it?"

One of the members in the audience asks "Yeah, didn't you flip out and complete destroy the show because you were jealous of that red, fat, Italian guy?"

"NO! *Ahem* No...we just had a little programming malfunction with our games. But fear not! For this new show will feature all new kinds of games that couldn't possibly be ruined. And you wanna know why? MARIO WON'T BE PLAYING! That's right everyone. We've got all your favorite contestants, invited back for a new show I'm calling: Mr Puzzles' Amazing Couples Game Show Fanatic!"

Mr Puzzles clapped his hands and everyone he had trapped, except Mario appeared. Bob got all territorial and asked "UM EXCUSE ME? WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!?" Mr Puzzles took out a sheet of paper and said "Now let's layout the rules. Each couple will compete in a activity that I have set to test their intelligence (if they even have it ), their physical abilities, and how well they are willing to go for each other."

"What do you mean? We aren't couples." Tari quizzically asked when Mr Puzzles butted in and yelled "YOU ARE NOW!" He clapped his hand and divided 2 partners at each station. Smg3 looked confused as hell until he turned and saw who he was partnered with. "Oi! We're not a couple!" Smg4 did the same as he blushed up a storm and awkwardly avoided looking at Three.

Meggy and Tari also felt awkward when they saw that they were paired up with each other, but neither one was a blushing mess like Four was. Bob stomped his foot down and yelled "I REFUSE TO WORK WITH THIS GREEN BOOGER! I WOULDN'T DATE BOOPKINS IF HE WAS THE LAST FISH ON EARTH! PAIR ME UP WITH BIRDO INSTEAD!"

(Sidenote: I DO NOT SHIP BOB AND BOOPKINS. I JUST SEE THEM AS BEST FRIENDS. NOTHING ELSE.)

Mr Puzzles started to get irritated and nervously laughed. "Don't pay any attention to him folks. I think he's too shy to admit his feelings." The audience let out a couple Awwwww's. Bob was getting really angry and began complaining "HE'S LYING! I'M NOT GAY! I'M STRAIGHT! NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY!" Mr Puzzles put a hand over his mouth and said "One moment please." He whispered "I know you're not gay Bob, but I ran out of contestants and I need a third team. Can't you just roll with it."

As he went back to addressing the audience, Bob kept chanting "NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY-" Mr Puzzles facepalmed and announced "I almost forgot! Whoever scores the most points gets a sPeCiAl pRiZe!" Everyone immediately stopped their belly aching and became incredibly interested. Bob finally shut up and said "ANYTHING FOR MONEY!"

Three swung an arm over Four as he became even more flustered. "Forget what I said. We're the best couple and we're going to crush you all!"

"U-Um...Three can you not?"

Meggy got a serious look on her face and yelled "No way! Me and Tari are the best duo!" Tari thought it was a sweet compliment and didn't even pick up on how Meggy didn't mind letting the audience see them as a couple.

The crowd erupted into excited cheers as Mr Puzzles went back to his happy self. "Alright everyone! First up we have-" He felt a tug on his sleeve as Luigi nervously asked "Uhh...what do I do? I...I don't have a partner." Mr Puzzles noticed that since he didn't cast Mario in this episode so now Luigi didn't have anyone else. "Oh Luigi, you have the most important job of all!" He brought him over to a discount whiteboard and handed him a marker. "You will keep track of scores. Making sure that each team gets the amount of points I say they earn."

"Oh that sounds like fun! I can do that!" Luigi began humming to himself as he made a column for each team. "Wonderful! Now that that's all figured out, we can finally beg-"

"Um can I take a bathroom break! My face feels hot!" Four raised his hand. Mr Puzzles was getting really irritated with all the interruptions, just like his last game show. He turned around with his scary, realistic face and yelled "NO! SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!" Four immediately slumped down in his seat as the audience went silent and Mr Puzzles felt all eyes glued onto him.

"I-I mean...Sorry Smg4, but the show has started already. But don't worry, you'll be an excellent team player. Maybe you'll even win the prize..."

"Now about we start with-"

The sounds of Italian gibberish echoed on stage as Mr Puzzles raised an eyebrow. "Huh...that's strange. But let's cont-"

More gibberish noises that sounded closer as Mr Puzzles angrily said "Whoever that is, please stop so everyone can enjoy the show." The person that was making the annoying sounds didn't stopped. It almost sounded like it came from the audience. Mr Puzzles then froze when he realized something. "Oh crap...I made sure Mario wasn't a contestant, but I never checked to see if he was an audience member!" Sure enough, Mario rushed down from his seat onto stage and said "Oh boy! Oh boy! Mario wants to play games!"

Mr Puzzles virtually tore his eyes out and politely tried getting him to go back to his seat. "Oh sorry Mario, but we have no available contestants for you to partner up with." Mario shook his head and pointed at him. "Mario can play with you TV guy!" Mr Puzzles quickly shot back "No way Mario! The host doesn't play the games and I would never be in a romantic relationship with you!"

"WELL I WOULD NEVER BE IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH BOOPKINS, BUT YOU'RE MAKING ME PLAY!"

"Shut up Bob! And Mario...GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT!" He then asked "Can Mario at least stay up here and watch?"

"NO!"

"Pretty please..."

"No!"

"Pretty please with spaghetti and meatballs on top..."

"Ugh. Fine. But only because we need to get the show started. However, you will not make a sound and you will not move from that spot over there!" He pointed to a far off corner that was almost off stage, but Mario didn't mind. "Yippee!" He hopped over to his spot and hummed to himself, head in hands, excitedly awaiting the first game. "Sorry for the delay folks. Let's get started with our first game."

Trivia Time!

"For this game, you must answer questions of different categories that are randomly selected each turn. The team with the most points wins!" Three moved his hand close to the buzzer, ready for the moment he got the answer. Bob also did the same and Tari looked nervously between their tension. Four had managed to calm down and his competitive spirit was ready to knock his components into the ground.

Mr Puzzles picks up a card from the Entertainment category (no surprise that was the first one) and stars reading "Question 1: In-"

"Oooo can Mario play! Mario is great at guessing games!" Mr Puzzles gave him a cold stare and said "AS I WAS SAYING, In the show F.R.I.E.N.D.S, what was the name of Rachel's colleague that worked at Bloomingdale's in Season 3." Bob and Three buzzed in at the same time when both answered at the same time.

"THE UGLY DUDE."

"Mark Robinson!"

Mr Puzzles made a wincing sound and said "Ohhhh sorry Bob. These answers must be clear and specific so Smg3 gets the point."

"CRAP!" Bob pouted while Three and Four pointed and laughed at him. "You can't beat the true F.R.I.E.N.D.S fan!" He made a flirty look at Four when saying that. Mr Puzzles took out a another card from a different category and said "Question 2: What is-" but was interuppted again when that annoying Italian voice whined "Cooommmeee onnnnn! Let Mario answer this question! He'll be quiettt ifff youuu doooo!"

Mr Puzzles was already ready to kick him out when he looked down at the question and said "Ohhh sureeee." Mario cheered and scooted in with Meggy and Tari. "Hello girls! You don't mind if Mario joins your team do you?" Tari gladly replied "Sure!" Meggy quickly stopped her and informed her teammate "Tari, he doesn't know any answers to these questions." Mario gave her an offended look. "Sure Mario does! Just watch!"

"Question 2: What is the square root of 9?"

Mario buzzed in with his nose and yelled "21!" A bzzt sound played as Mr Puzzles made a fake gasp and said "I'm sorry, but that is incorrect. -1 points for team Megari!" Luigi put a negative point on their score and made a gesture over to the girls that he was sorry. Mario stood up and said "WAT! That's bullcrap! Mario totally got the answer right! He has 1000000 IQ!" Meggy hissed "Mario...get down and go back to your seat."

"NO! The mean TV man is being unfair!" He launched towards Mr Puzzles and yelled "This game is rigged! Mario demands vengeance!" He took the rest of the cards and burned them down with a blowtorch. "HAH! Mario wins now! Hehehehehehehe!" He smugly went back to sitting at the corner and was contempt on seeing how Mr Puzzles would hold up the show now. Mr Puzzles got up and saw the cards were now burnt to ash and he started nervously sweating. "N-Not t-to worry audience. I-I always have some spare cards." He took out a piece of paper and scribbly wrote down a question.

"Now this last one should be easy. What is the weather like today?" Tari instantly knew the answer and buzzed in. "I know! It's-" Mr Puzzles quickly turned to the boys and declared "That's right Smg4! It's sunny! Smg4 wins the game!"

"B-But I didn't-"

"NEXT GAME!"

Outstanding Obstacles

Mr Puzzles teleported them all to an insane obstacle course with hoops, pits, and beams. "In order to beat this game, both opponents must safely cross to the other side that is marked with the handy flag." He pointed way across where a tiny checkered flag was waiting in the safe zone. "We have to cross that!?" Tari cried out in fear. A little thing Mr Puzzles forgot to mention was that there was fire, swinging weapons, and many other deadly traps sprinkled along the way. Bob didn't care. He ran towards it, singing "GIVE ME THE MONEY!" and flung himself straight into the middle, where he was pierced by arrows and got a sword stuck in his head. He evaporated as an X appeared on screen and the announcer yelled "DEAD."

Mr Puzzles laughed and said "Oopsie! Looks like Bob is eliminated from the rest of the show! Sorry Boopkins, but you can't play without a teammate so you're disqualified too." He snapped his fingers when Boopkins was right in the middle of a sentence. "Wait...what-" He began evaporating as well as he screamed himself out of existence. "Now for our two remaining teams, good luck!" Meggy and Three lined up against each other, both wanting to prove their athletic skills. Four and Tari were nervous from all the deadly contraptions. When the horn went off, Three and Meggy ran lighting fast through the course while Four and Tari barely ducked out of the way of swinging maces.

"Ooooo can Mario join in!" Mr Puzzles angrily turned around and yelled "NO! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Mario grumpily crossed his arms, but then got an idea. When Mr Puzzles wasn't looking, he tiptoed past him into the obstacle course.

Tari carefully jumped over a pit when she saw a bazooka firing straight at Four. "Look out!" Four turned and saw the missile hurdling towards him as he shut his eyes and prepared for the worst. Instead the missile just stopped, crying "Ohhhhh nooooo!" and poofed. That was strange. He saw Three and Meggy leaving without them and cried "Oi! You guys know that if we die, you lose right?" Both of them stopped, realizing he had a point.

Tari was dangling over a pit of fire. "I'm coming Tari!" Meggy yelled as she ran over to help her up. "Are you okay?" Tari breathed heavily as Meggy pulled her in for a hug of comfort. "Don't worry. You're safe now." Three saw his chance to go, but saw Four trembling as the weapons were coming by the bucket full. He groaned and went back to grab him. The slight hand touch made him flinch as he stuttered "S-Sorry...did you get hurt?"

"No. I'm okay. Thanks for coming back for me."

Mr Puzzles was sitting back in a chair, munching on popcorn and watching through binoculars. It seemed like the show was going really well with emotion, drama, and suspense, except one contestant didn't belong. "MARIO!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE!" He was running past the two teams, flashing the loser sign at Mr Puzzles when he saw the flag in sight. "YIPPEE! Mario is gonna win!" Mr Puzzles quickly snapped his fingers when he saw Mario was only a few feet from the finish.

He reached his hand out to grab the flag when the floor fell out from over him and he evaporated back to his seat in the corner. The rest of the contestants fell through the floor, but luckily Smg4 was the closest to the finish line. "Wonderful! Smg4 has done it again! Add some more points on the board Luigi!" Four hazily holds his head as he says "I think my brain just committed SUICIDE." The green Italian happily nodded as he added more points to their score, but Mario stole the marker for him and gave himself infinite points.

"HAHA! Mario wins the game now!" Mr Puzzles stole the marker back and yelled "MARIO DOES NOT WIN THE GAME! SMG4 IS SUPPOSED TO WIN! YOU WEREN'T EVEN A CONTESTANT IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Mario points a finger in his face and says "So you admit it! These games are rigged! Bad TV man is a stinky cheater!" Mr Puzzles looks over and sees that the crowd was starting to boo him. "No no no no! I'm not cheating!" He clenches his fists and storms over to Mario. "I am finishing this show and nobody is going to stop me! Not you! Not anyone!" He takes some chains and locks and tied them around Mario, kicking him into the corner.

"FINAL GAME!"

Truth or Dare

"To play this game, all you have to do is give an honest answer to any question that an audience member asks or whatever they dare you to do. IS THAT ALRIGHT WITH EVERYBODY!" He creaks his head over to Mario and narrows his eyes at him. The Italian looked at him with a glazed look in his eyes. "Okay great! Who would like to ask the first question?" One guy in the back immediately raises his hand. "Yes. What is your question?"

"I dare Smg3 and Smg4 to recreate the 6:50 minute of snow trapped!"

Both boys immediately tense up and their faces become red and hot. "Uhhh...." Mr Puzzles doesn't pay attention to their awkwardness as he claps his hands and a igloo drops down. "Well you heard the audience. Climb in and do your thing!" Four and Three don't say a word, but they slowly begin backing up. Mr Puzzles stops them and throws them in, blocking the entrance with snow. "See you later~"

"Now then, do we have any questions for the girls!" Another audience member raises his hand and asks "What is Meggy and Tari's favorite bonding activity?" Before the girls can answer, them and Mr Puzzles hear a suspicious thud. It starts to speed up as Mr Puzzles swivels his head around to find Mario humping the igloo. "Come on! Come on! Mario wants to see the gays making out! Commmeee onnnnnn!" Mr Puzzles anger goes through the roof as his body turns a bright red and his TV box begins to fume.

"THAT'S IT! MARIO IS DISQUALIFIED!" He slaps Mario so hard that the igloo and Three come with him, the three of them crashing into Meggy and Tari. Mr Puzzles stands in shock for a few seconds and says "Well it took some time, but we finally have a winner! Smg4 wins the sPeCiAl pRiZe!" He grabs Four and tells him "Now let's go see what it is!" He used a remote to open a hole in the wall and begins pushing Four towards it.

The rest of them just sat there flabbergasted. "He didn't really win did he Luigi?" Three asked. Luigi stood there, staring at a broken board and shrugged. "I guess...he did?" Mario instantly recovered and saw the two heading into the prize room. "Oh boy! Oh boy! Mario wants to go see the prize!" He sneaks into the secret compartment, unknown to Mr Puzzles.

He excitedly awaited the grand prize, expecting it to be a never-ending spaghetti maker or something. Instead he was met with a dark room that was completely empty. Well...not exactly. Mr Puzzles led Four up to a scary looking machine. "Is...is this the prize?" Four nervously asked. "It sure is! And it's all yours!" He flipped a switch and two giant claws grabbed onto Smg4's arms. "Hey! What the-" They dragged him up as Mr Puzzles snickered.

This wasn't at all what Mario expected. He tried to run back out the door, but it closed on him. Mr Puzzles said in a cold tone "You see, I had to make you win somehow. I needed you."

"W-Why do you n-need me?"

"Oh, for something far important. From now on, you will serve me as my partner."

"WHAT!?"

"Thank you Smg4 for everything."

That was the last thing he said before he pressed a button and a wave of electricity shocked through his body. "AHHHHHHH!!! STOP IT!" Mario couldn't do anything, but watch as his best friend was tortured by Mr Puzzles. His relentless screaming. The increasingly inflicted amounts of pain. What...What exactly did Mr Puzzles want with Smg4? Why was he trying to capture him all this time?

"STOP IT PLEASE! Ş̶̨̤̫̞͖̃̔͒̃̎̓̍̅͛͆͠T̴̳̞̭̘̥́Ò̸̠͔̮̹̯͇̻͈̯̼̲̈̃́͋͛͗̄̎̕͜P̵̮̰̫͎̱̈́́͊ ̸̭̻̼͕͍̱̳̝͌͋͗̔̔́̈́̇̃̓̓̑͜͝I̶͈̹͚̫̭̞̙͕̞͑̇͐̇̌̀̓͗̆T̴̡̢̜̣̞̩̼̞͎̲̬͖̖͛̈́̓̾ͅ ̸̨̬͈͓̞̝̳̼͚̓̇͝S̷̨̰̰̮̝̯̺͔̭͕͉̐́͒̒̉̓̿͜͝Ť̷̳̞̰̇̎̆̀͋͐̏́͛̎̽̈̓͝Ȍ̴̧͓̭͑̐͜P̵͙̳̔̃̌ ̸̧̱̦͙̬̗̝̗̞̲̗̳̮̘̋́͂̈́̋̐͊͐̈́̆̈́͂͑͘͝Ḯ̴̧̧͈̮͓̫͎̙̼͔̖̪̇̑͘͜T̴̮̟̜͍͎̮̜̗͉̽̐̎̔̌͂̂̃̚ ̴̳͈̻̤͖̲̫̝̘̗̫̘̜̫͌̒͐̈́̓͗́̀̋͊̌͝S̷̢̬̜̤̝͈͔̪͙͔̫͈͗̈́͂͒̎ͅT̶̛͉̯̾̓̀͜Ǫ̶̜̔̿̃̍͝P̸̨̫̭̱̲̮̞͍̳̺̑͜ ̷̢̃̑̄͐̓͊̎̊I̶̧͍̲̍͋͘T̷͕̭͚͇͖̲̝͖̬̪̩̦̿͐̀̇͋̎̀ ̸̨̳͙̥͚̝̼͓͕̘̻̰̗͛̈́̓͛͗̀͝͝S̷̡̛͙͙̻͚͖̞̮͎͉̓͆̉͂̉͂̅͜T̴͚̮̝͉̲̿̑̾͋͒̇̆͘͠Ơ̴̢͔̩̜͖̫̲̬̬̪̼͂̍̈́͂̅̈́̐̔̕P̴̺̰̪̣̩͉̘͎͈̬͍̭̯̤͐̇̏̈́̋̓̈́̈́͗̄̀̓͝ ̸̢̢̜̳̟̫̥̖̱̭̜͇̩̐̒͐̄̉̿̍͆̊͗̏̉̈́̚ͅͅI̷̛̥͉̤̰͎̩̔́̅̅͋́́̍ͅT̸̥̮̯̫̙̪̝̯̟̭̻͚͇̈́̅̉̓̓̃͌̂̄͊̈́̑̑̇!̶̭̣͇̤̮̘͉͙͌̊̇͊̽̾̈́̍̀͐͋͑͝͝"

E̵n̸d̶ ̷o̶f̸ ̴S̴i̴m̶u̶l̵a̸t̴i̶o̸n̸.̸

W̵h̶a̷t̵ ̷d̸i̶d̸ ̶y̶o̶u̷ ̶t̶h̵i̶n̴k̶ ̷o̶f̸ ̷T̸o̸d̸a̴y̶'̴s̸ ̷E̸p̷i̵s̵o̴d̴e̶?̷

Chapter 13: PuzzleVision's Grand Finale

[scaly-freaks]

not the same anon, but i was actually ok with brothel scene?

aemond's clearly obsessed with never looking weak, he doesn't feel like he can be weak in front of his family - even his mom. alicent can't offer emotional support to her children (maybe a little to helaena), so they find it elsewhere.

aemond prob view this woman as "beneath him", someone he can use and vent to because what is she gonna do? it doesn't matter if she sees him being weak because she's inconsequential in his world.

aegon and aemond are sooooo affection starved. they do feel, they need to feel loved. they need comfort but lack the emotional intelligence to reach out and form those connections.

It was honestly very tame. I was expecting Homelander level of build up and pay off, but there are good shows and then there's...HOTD. Besides, the fandom is already flustered over this little scene, which for a canon stuffed with incest and non-con and dub-con and gore and violence, a large number of its fans have surprisingly surface-level intelligence/empathy. I do think darker topics require more of both these traits to be consumed well but the show itself chooses not to go full on with them so I'm not surprised the fandom is wrapped in cotton wool and spoon fed like a baby.

And I totally agree with your view on the madame. I am not a fan of terming her his "abuser" the way some people have been doing. Using words frivolously makes them lose all meaning and impact.

In what sense is she an abuser exactly? In the sense that you feel protective over Aemond, and this middle-aged woman is not young or attractive enough to be a satisfying self-insert? And I won't be told this isn't the case with some fans, because some of them definitely have on horse blinkers.

Logically, she is not an abuser. She looked to me like she didn't even want to be there and was disengaged from him mentally/emotionally. He very clearly told her not here and was in control of the situation, suggesting the experience is meticulously tailored to his wants and needs. The last time they met when he was thirteen, sure it's gross that a boy that young is going through something like that, but guess who brought him there? Aegon. The madame turning down the patronage of a royal prince would make her insane if you go by in-world logic. Royal patronage attracts more customers and more money for her girls. It's common sense. Do you know where her real priority was? Getting him to be aware of the smallfolk the next time he loses his temper and does something stupid (since he's already done one stupid thing).

If anything, Aegon might be termed the abuser and the madame was the tool he used, but even then, he was also taught that this behaviour was okay because someone took him to a brothel at 13. Just because he accepted and conformed to this way of living, doesn't mean it wasn't wrong that he went through it too.

Anyway, tip of the iceberg, but there you see - spoon feeding all this context to an audience that is largely unequipped to dive deeper into uncomfortable topics in the span of an hour is impossible.

[raccoonfallsharder]

There’s been a few rumours that the Russos (and one of the writers from Infinity War/Endgame) may be coming back for Avengers 5/6! I’m curious about what those movies will be like, because they’re going to be even MORE crowded with a gazillion characters. 😅

And particularly, I wonder what the role of the Guardians is even gonna be in them… or at least Star-Lord, if no one actually has any plans to bring them back — which seems to be the most likely outcome. Personally, I wouldn’t actually mind too much if the new Guardians were brought back to join the final battle or something like that. It might be nice as a last hurrah for Rocket, maybe!

But what do you think? I know your opinions on those movies, so… I know what you have to say will be very interesting. 😁

oooooh boy. this just unlocked a whole bunch of competing thoughts in my head. i hope i can make sense of them enough to type them up.

here's the thing. i don't trust the russos or the IW/E writers but i am a person who (1) believes that people can grow and become better at damn near anything they want to, and (2) i am happy to be wrong. maybe the russos and whichever writer who is coming on board will have taken good lessons from the last five years since endgame (five years holy shit) and they'll come out stronger, better, more respectful storytellers. maybe they'll listen to other, better, more respectful storytellers on the team. hell, maybe disney will even let them be better (disney properties seem to be at their best when the mouse is least invested in controlling its indentured creatives). and of course, quality and effective storytelling won't only be on the shoulders of the russos et al. it will also be on the people who are working on the adjacent, intervening movies, and whether they are capable of and permitted to create compelling narratives and fully-developed characters along the way.

now, another thing i think will be tricky is if they choose to do another massive ensemble-battle (like the final endgame fight). i'm just not sure almost anything they can do will be actually satisfying to anyone who identifies with the characters who aren't the main focus. the reason that so-called "girl-power" moment in endgame was so fucken dissatisfying for so many of us was because it was unearned. condescending. you can't choose to feature so few of these women in the course of the whole movie, kill the only one of them with more than like three lines, and then throw every woman left alive into thirty seconds of battle choreography and think that your target-audience will see that as anything but patronizing. if the russos go for that level of sprawling battle-pageantry, that's what will happen, on some level. we just can't pay attention to every character the way they truly deserve when the cast is that massive.

and... i imagine this is exactly how the guardians would feature, if they aren't picked up by anyone in the meantime: one second of screentime in the background of a big fight, maybe with rocket's signature word as his new team advances to ultimately be lost in the ranks. or a singular star-lord, fighting on the side of the new avengers.

now, i'll let you in on a little and possibly controversial secret: i don't need more of rocket in the mcu. i think the mcu might fuck up a beautiful story. if they were to bring him back - unless it were a complete alternate timeline like a new cartoon - i almost think it would need to be a wholly different genre. here are the best ways i think disney could bring "mcu" rocket back:

fuck copaganda but brooklyn-99 had a distinctly guardians vibe in terms of a bunch of well-meaning dysfunctional idiots coming together under extremely exhausted but HIGHLY effective leadership. we could take this ride through space in a star-trek-esque adventure-of-the-week approach or base it in knowhere so we can really see what it looks like to be a guardian in that community, and meet some of the characters like xlomo smeth, ssssaralami, hoobtoe, the broker, HOWARD, etc.

mst3k but it's like, movie night on knowhere. they project some disney movie on the side of one of the bone-buildings and rocket and groot are always making commentary. but they're not the only ones. nebula's there, and for kid-appropriate movies drax and the kids are too. sometimes howard comes along and he and rocket get drunk and compete to be the harshest critic. adam tries to crack jokes sometimes but he's bad at it.

nebula and rocket during the snap. IN SPACE. mostly. i'll accept occasional visits to terra check in on thor. i suspect we see a lot of kraglin on the third quadrant and maybe spend some time helping with reconstruction in knowhere.

a super-ironic self-aware parody of some old sitcom like full house. i'm open to rocket being the father-figure and the new guardians being the chaotic fam, but i'd also be open to it focusing on the star children, calling it "drax the dad," and having rocket be the uncle-jesse-character. which brings me to my last option, which is

actually center the show around a singular someone else, like adam or phylla, and have rocket occasionally make an appearance as an important background character: a father-figure, a mentor, a captain, a guide, a beloved pain-in-the-ass. occasional conversations over the comms where he's like "are you eating enough? are you cleaning your cannons like i taught you? you still closing your eyes when you squeeze the trigger 'cause i told you to stop fuckin doing that. when are you coming home? nebula misses you and your brother is driving me fuckin crazy"

i do think there are other things that good writers could make work but these are the ones my heart rests on because i just don't trust disney/marvel very easily these days

WHICH IS ALL TO SAY

of course i'm gonna watch whatever disney/marvel puts out into theatres and/or on disney+, especially if the guardians are in it. and especially if my guy is in it.

but i'm also fully expecting to have my heart broken. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

as i said, i'm a person who is happy to be wrong.

[warsamongthestars]

I was in a rush when I did the first CX post, rage demanded I have no patience and must post (and I'm not sorry about that), but I wanted to expound on it more, probably with less spacer-swearing.

So.

I haven't seen arguments or stories about the CX clones beyond the Tech theory, and that's telling about how impactful they actually were on their own... which is, they weren't impactful at all. Their job on screen boiled down to "Look Pretty, Die to Hero", which is a waste of the potential that was being built.

They contributed little to nothing to the story and themes. (And I would argue that TBB has no themes beyond gift wrapping paper). There is nothing they did that can't be filled by the "Imperial Commandos" (All the RCs we kept seeing), the Elite Stormtroopers (going back to Season1), or even just, Stormtroopers but with a bit of spraypaint on.

And anything that they did bank on, particularly CX-02 (theorized to be Tech), didn't pay out, so it wasn't bank.

Let me break it down properly.

They're introduced as a threat as far back as Season 2, with one CX clone that commits suicide via electrocution (which is... a lot more awful way to go than the Spy Film James Bond Agent arsenic-in-tooth poisoning, lemme tell you). Then it was a bait-n-switch because were semi-lead to believe that the CX was Crosshair in those episodes.

And it wasn't.

Then we get introduced to CX-2 who had a trailer, a spooky voice (Not gonna lie, I did love that voice), a couple episodes of being the direct antagonist... and still didn't lead up to anything with his own death in battle. There were more CX clones that each had a unique body type, unique armor, and unique equipment, and yet... they didn't amount to anything save to be your Name-Your-RPG-Game-ENemies to be defeated.

Reasonable and easy story-telling says that CX-02, specifically is Tech. CX-02 did not turn out to be Tech.

If the idea was that it was a bait-n-switch like the first CX, let me assure you, its not. Anyone who claims otherwise is talking out their shebs, and should be boo'd off stage, preferably with fresh tomatoes.

Bait-n-Switch requires in-story build up, from direct and obvious scenes shown to the audience, to characters talking about it or having wishful thinking, and then paying it off by tricking them and or the audience by showing that our assumptions were wrong.

You have to show that you've planned for it. Stories that plan that sort of thing have beats you can follow. There are no beats to follow in TBB, because it insists on contradicting itself too much and never dedicating itself.

So by Character Standards, the CXs have already failed as a narrative tool. They were semi-teased on social media, set up in story, as soon as season 2, as a potential player among characters--only to fall horribly short when the time came to show-no-tell.

( This is not the fault of the concept, but the fault of the handlers. )

CX clones as a concept for Star Wars, are meant to equate to the clone assassins found in the Republic Commando books and encountered in the Comics, as well as the early 2000s Prequel Star Wars games. They hunt down those who won't go to war for the true sith masters.

CX Clones as a concept for the TBB story, are Clone Experiments (Because X as an acronym means Experiment) that are sent out to assassinate or disrupt non-imperial politicians, dissidents, and more; serving as direct antagonist to Rex's Rebels, with a vague CF99 flaire.

It starts with the implication that these are clones that believe in the Empire policies (... because the story at this point decided that the chip was non-existant and that clones are loyal to orders enough to commit slaughter and genocide on a flip of a credit chip... but that's an issue for a different discussion).

They are later, by showing us, found to be placed in cryostorage, and awoken ("Activated") to perform missions. This suggests a severe dehumanization; brainwashing, unethical medical treatments--what our TCWs fandom would call "reconditioning". They are treated as the very droids they once fought against, both in battle and in treatment of themselves. They are the clone trooper at the lowest possible point.

This places, by the show's very own set up implications, that CX clones are tragic figures who lost their humanity in the face of an unfeeling Galaxy, a dehumanizing and demoralizing Empire, and potentially, were being made during the Republic (Giving how many there are).

The TBB show follows, it outright shows what the CXs are about.

And then, it pays off its showing, by killing them all enmass, without conversation or consideration, without character's discussing or story revolving.

I don't know bout anyone else, but uh, I'm pretty sure most shows, that do the whole "my friend / family / lover was brainwashed-Possessed-Apart-Of-The-Hivemind, I must save them" bit... usually go for the "Save them / Fail to Save them" option, and not the "Mow them down and let the Force sort them out".

This isn't the first time this behavior by the narrative has happened--it treated Crosshair the same way; by making him the enemy for a season (because as the "Jerk" character, he is "obviously evil" and will "devolve into evil ways" the first chance he gets), for a reason that they outright show is why he turned, but then attempted to blame him for his choices (as if the show hadn't already shown us that, on Episode 1, they GREW THE TUMOR IN HIS BRAIN BY 3 SIZES LIKES ITS THE HEART OF THE GRINCH, and then never ever showed it was ever removed) [ Social Media posts don't count--if its not in-story, its not there, and if the TBB writers don't like it, tough shit], and then when the line came, the show decided to abandon him to the otherside whilst his brothers ran, in an awful attempt to keep "status quo".

CX clones are semi-intended by narrative to be a contrast to Crosshair, but the problem is, is that they're not by context. They're a replacement to him so that the show can maintain the shit status quo it caused by poor choices and disrupted for a bout of victim blaming to show some... lesson about guilt apparently.

They're not the Bad Batch's foils, nor their parallels, they're the antagonist to a group we only see a few times (Rex's Clone Rebellion), and they're meant to replace Crosshair as the Imperial Enemy / Rival Character.

... And that's not interesting, because once again, the TBB trips up with "Enemy of another story". Once again, the "true story" is elsewhere and we get the nonsense scraps.

What would've made the CX clones work, is if they were there since the begining. Instead of the stormtrooper Elites, it was CX clones that worked with a brainwashed-mindcontrolled Crosshair, to show a darker half of the Republic (which leads into how it became the Empire so fast), and actually give the Bad Batch a set of contrasts-foils.

If we intended to follow the Donut Steel as a legit story, then having the CX-Clones as Team Rocket to the Bad Batch's Pokemon Heroes, would've done a world of good for the story. It wouldn't fix everything, but it would keep to the intention of "Family", and we just top it off with the CX Clones with Crosshair, leaving their position to heal from their trauma away from Wars and Empires and giving a "fuller family" to Omega by the end.

This would've allowed exploration of clone life post-Republic, how both Republic and Empire treated the clones, as well as a lead into exploration of trauma, PTSD, analogs to non-consenting situations, shifts of government in to a darker state of leadership and policy, as well as how you survive such situations... and that's with those who have stuck with you thick and thin as "brothers".

But no. They're a wasted opportunity, wasted characters, and only serve as some bonus bosses. They are not allowed to contribute anything, because that would mean the writer's would have to explore them... and the writers can't even explore their own main characters.

Worse, because the Ending "The Calvary Has Arrived" was written before all 3 seasons were released, the CXs were doomed to die as shallow what-ifs, without history or impact.

Like its a fucking early 2000s fanfic on ff dot net.

[demigodsanswer]

So, because you brought him up. Is their, someone in the world, a man named Poseidon who seems weirdly invested in the career of a seemingly random NYCB member? Just, reads the news, goes to his shows. A couple of times Sally Jackson has seen him in the audience and just kind of shakes her head?

Before I get into the details, some bonus percabeth goofiness.

"Do you know your mom's name?" Percy asked her. Estelle had asked about Percy's dad, and Percy had responded he didn't know anything about him. Whatever his mom knew, Percy had never cared to ask about. If he wasn't going to be there for him, Percy could care less what he was called.

"My birth mom?" Annabeth asked.

"Well, I'd hope you'd know your stepmom's name," he said.

Annabeth scrunched up her face at him and his comment. Then she said simply, "It's Minerva. Why?"

"Just wondering. I've never known my dad's name. You said she left you when you were a baby, so I wasn't sure if you knew," he said.

"Well, I've seen my birth certificate before," Annabeth said, as if it was obvious.

"Oh, well, I didn't want to assume. My dad's name isn't on my birth certificate," Percy said in his defense.

"Right, but ... my mom was there when I was born," she said.

Percy looked at her, then looked away as Annabeth started to giggle. "Right," he said, fighting his own laughter, "no because that would make sense --" He couldn't help himself; he gave into his own laughter.

Annabeth had lost herself to her fit of laughter at his expense, leaning forward to catch her breath, her laughter shrill. Soon there were tears in both of their eyes.

"But you can see how I'd mess that up --" he tried to say, wiping his eyes as she just kept laughing.

So funny you should ask, because yes and no. There's no Poseidon, but there is a Minerva. This is actually one of the bonus story ideas I have kicking around in my head.

Minerva left Fred and Annabeth when Annabeth was three months old, and she moved to New York where she started her life over to great success. For a few years, she keeps in touch with Fred, sends him some money, but is very clear that she's never coming back, and that she cannot be a mother to that girl.

Twenty years later, her boss gives her tickets to the NYCB Nutcracker, and Minerva is looking at the cast list for that night and goes "I know that name. I gave that girl that name." Sure enough, she recognizes Annabeth (I hc that she takes after her dad in facial features). Minerva doesn't do anything about it though. She assumes Annabeth won't have any interest in her, and anyway, she still doesn't want to be a mom. Minerva doesn't actually know that woman on stage any more than the woman knows her. So she keeps her distance.

But she does become something of a ritual attendee of the ballet, and she follows Annabeth on Instagram. There's something very surreal for Minerva about seeing her, this girl she carried and birthed, but who she (Minerva) has never regretted leaving behind.

One day, maybe a few years after TUAP ends, but before Annabeth and Percy have children, they run into her at a bar. It's pretty empty. Percy and Annabeth get a table and Percy goes up to order. Minerva recognizes them, asks Percy if they are ballet dancers, and when Percy says yes, Minerva describes herself as "just a fan" of Annabeth. Percy offers to introduce her, but Minerva says no, but insists she pays for the drinks. There's something so odd about this to Percy, and he can't figure out what it is. Minerva's hair is all gray at this point, and her face, besides her eyes, looks nothing like Annabeth's really. But as she's leaving, Percy puts it together.

He gives her name to Annabeth, who runs out after her, not really sure what she'll say.

But the thing is, ever since Luke, Annabeth has understood her mother and her decisions. She knows what it's like to need to escape a situation you feel trapped in. Annabeth also knows what it's like to feel anxious and depressed. And she's grateful her mother didn't stick around only to make Annabeth's life worse. Sure Annabeth's father and step-mother didn't do right by her, but it wasn't on Annabeth's mom to swoop in and fix it.

Finding out she's been in New York the whole time, watching Annabeth at the ballet is a bit of a blow to Annabeth's barely healed abandonment issues. There's some old feelings of "You could have helped me. You were here while I was being harmed. I needed my mom." But ultimately, Annabeth is looking at a stranger, and she knows it wasn't on this stranger to protect her; it was on her dad. (She's had several therapeutic break throughs re: her abandonment issues to get her to this point)

They end up having a pretty simple but important conversation, and they agree to get lunch.

"Minerva, wait --"

"Annabeth."

"Are you my mother?"

"I gave birth to you, yes."

"You're in New York?"

"I've been here since I left you."

"You've been to the ballet?"

"I'm a fan. But I should get going."

"I'm not mad at you. I would have done the same thing."

"How can you know that?"

"I've had to make similar choices before."

"..."

"Please, I would love to get lunch or something."

"I can't be your mother, Annabeth."

"I'm not asking you to be. I'm asking to gt to know you. I don't need a mother."

"Alright."

[rainbowsky]

Anonymous asked: Hey Rainbow! I’m sorry to hear you are going through a rough time right now. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I don’t mean anything bad from it. Genuinely curious… isn’t it wrong for us to think outside forces (i.e, so/os, mgmt) are forcing dd to do these things? As a turtle ofc it’s sad that they photoshopped that… but dd has always been someone who does what he wants to do. It just feels wrong to assume other people are making him do this.

First of all, you come across as an anti based on your entire ask, but I will address the part that I'm willing to.

This reflects poor reading comprehension. I never at any point said DD was 'forced' into anything. Of course we have to accept the likelihood that he agreed to the things we're seeing. But we also can't pretend that the forces at play (fan pressure, stakeholder pressure, industry pressures) have nothing to do with it. That would be a bizarre leap of logic to make, since those are the few things we actually have information on.

If we're really turtles, then we will of course reflect on all of the pressures that both GG and DD are under, and recognize those as real factors that are at play. If we're really turtles, we will of course consider the likelihood that GG and DD appreciate and value turtles and the support they give. They have repeatedly shown that through their behavior over the years.

So if we're really turtles, then we won't try to remove all BXG context from the situation and talk like an anti.

Yes, DD probably was in on the decisions that have been made, but his options are likely extremely limited at this point, and his hands are likely tied on certain fronts. It's also possible that he agreed to some things in a bargain to prevent others. We don't know.

He will also have been given a lot of advice through all of this, and some compelling points might have been made to support giving in to the fan demands. After all, he's about to go into promo for One and Only, and if his toxic solo fans (who are behaving like antis, frankly) are willing to boycott the YH concert - the only opportunity they'll likely have to see him perform live all year - then of course it only follows that they might be willing to boycott the film.

DD obviously wants to do films, so what choice does he really have, here? Any non-disingenuous person has to admit that these are all factors he will have had to consider, and if backers are nervous and starting to think of him as a risky prospect, he has absolutely no choice in the matter if he wants to continue to get film opportunities.

It's just like when he split with Nike and had to remove all the GG-related Nike posts from his account, including the sneakers and ice cream post. He would have agreed to that. He would have agreed to splitting with Nike, too, but let's not pretend it would have been easy for him, or that he would have done so eagerly and with enthusiasm.

I'm going to address an angle I haven't yet addressed, and that is the angle of how this all impacts DD's image among fans and passersby, because that is another factor in all of this.

Anyone who isn't a deeply brainwashed or dishonest BXG-anti knows that CQL is DD's most representative work to date, even now 4 years after airing. Unless you're trying to gaslight the world, it's plain and clear that CQL is an important work that has been central to his career success.

In those little bio tidbits on Weibo stars tend to pay homage to the moments in their career that 'made' them the star they are. It's customary for artists to honor those moments in that little bio, even decades later.

The removal of CQL from DD's bio isn't in keeping with that tradition. To some people it makes him look ungrateful and disrespectful.

Also, a dear friend pointed out that listing as 'representative works' a film that hasn't even aired or been evaluated by audiences - One and Only - is also strange in this context. It is a bit odd and comes across as premature to list it as a 'masterpiece' (because the phrasing is 'representative masterpieces' or something along those lines), and makes him look arrogant because of the phrasing.

It would have been better for him to remove 'representative masterpieces' entirely and just said, "Film actor, works including:" instead.

There are apparently also quite a few solos who are upset and disillusioned by DD's caving to the demands, and are voicing discontent on Weibo. In their eyes he's the guy who does what he wants and 'never backs down', and this has completely reconfigured their understanding of who he is as a person. They are unhappy about it.

Fans have unrealistic images and expectations of their idol, and getting upset when they don't meet those expectations is fairly common. Most of us can probably agree that's pretty messed up, but it is what it is. And that image issue only becomes worse, not better, when fans think he was the one who chose to cave to fan demands rather than being forced by management.

Point being, these are not 'neutral' choices. These choices have consequences, including consequences that weren't foreseen. That's the nature of decision making. But pretending the context doesn't exist doesn't serve any purpose but that of the antis. 👋🏻

It seems pretty clear he's giving in to solo demands. Those demands have been extremely aggressive for nearly a year now. The fact that he held out that long is information we should consider as well.

(This is in reference to a previous post.)

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

That was my mistake, my source was basically just the overall atmosphere of the first chapters of Elysian Realm and how she was referred to as a traitor. Thank you for correcting me I did not mean to spread misinformation

Apology accepted! It's alright, you just got a bit carried away at the end of the day, but it's good to remember that most folks won't question "facts" if they have no prior reason to doubt them. We can't count on others to fact-check. Spreading speculation as fact is unfortunately VERY VERY EASY even when we don't mean to!

Adding stuff like "I think" or "My guess is" helps tamper credibility a little bit (though it's not anywhere near foolproof with word of mouth quoting instead of linking...). What I often do is that I go back and look for my sources mid-rant to make sure I'm not making anything up from half-remembered blurbs, when it's my own post I'll even add proof in the form of quotes or references.

Obviously there's no need to always go that far, no one wants fifty asterisks in your ask to source every statement and it's not too serious when it's just a fictional character, but do pay extra attention if you're talking about an actual person. Speculating about a fictional character ultimately just results in grumpy fans (usually). Making shit up about a stranger can have harsh consequences! Keep speculation to an absolute minimum there, even if they have rancid vibes, okay?

Keep in mind also, when you don't like the character (or person), you will subconsciously paint them in a less favorable light. Even neutral or kind acts may seem bad from a certain angle. They're just helping this grandma cross the street to make themself look better!

The inverse is also true, we will be inclined to trust and agree with people if they go along with what we already believe, like or feel is right. Everyone's point of view in the world is subjective, we will see what we want to see if we're not thinking things through, and gravitate towards an echo chamber that reinforces existing beliefs.

To circle back to the original point, you sent someone who hates Elysia information that made her out to be originally written as murderously narcissistic (admittedly less boring than what we got) which was not founded on actual facts, but very difficult to verify since it's scrapped content. Now, I know that this was an accident, a mistake on your part. That's okay! However.

Some people exploit this implicit trust maliciously for their own ends (like trying to cancel someone, or a character/ship they don't like). These people know that if they sound like they know their stuff, an audience won't think twice about it, all they need is a platform to spread their ideas even with no basis.

For example... they can send an anon ask to a relatively well-known blogger. They know they can even make themself sound innocent from planting the idea by asking it as a question. As long as people hear it, it doesn't matter if it's true in the slightest.

My point is, I will believe you in particular just made a mistake, but from what @cloud-ya's told me, there was an ask in her inbox doing that exact thing to the extreme. Specifically bringing up wild speculation about what Elysia would think of real-world events, framed in such a way as to make her sound like a terrible person. Elysia is a fictional character, she doesn't have opinions, any speculation thereof is projected onto her according to your own personal agenda.

Needless to say that's not appropriate in the slightest and highly manipulative. Deleted immediately. Asks like these should never see the light of day!

So, let us take it as a warning both for folks like you who send their thoughts, and folks like me who receive them, that we can all accidentally contribute to hatred and misinformation, even if it's an accident...

Let's keep everyone safe by paying attention to what we platform!

[knickynoo]

Back to the Future: The Animated Series, s02ep02 “Put On Your Thinking Caps, Kids! It's Time For Mr. Wisdom!” Review and Commentary

Previous episodes linked here.

In this episode: Old college rivals, volcanoes, and game-show host Marty

Doc's transmission to us in this episode begins at the "Hill Valley Space Center and Air Sickness Clinic," where he's about to take a trip into outer space. The local cable company has recruited him to overhaul their communication satellite. Fancy job!

Doc is especially excited because the cable company has promised him free cable plus premium channels. He goes on to tell us that it isn't his first experience with broadcasting and leads us into the cartoon with, "It all started when Marty was studying for his astronomy class."

Let's see what wacky chain of events happened all because of Marty trying to study, shall we?

We open the cartoon with Marty riding his hoverboard to Doc's house. As usual, he isn't paying any attention to where he's going—on account of he's trying to study while he rides. He glances up just in time to realize that he's about to crash straight into Doc's garage door, which elicits this expression...

After flying into the garage, Doc shows him his new invention: M.A.R.I.E (Memory Archive Recall Indexer and Enhancer). It's a machine that helps the user to recall any memory.

Doc demonstrates, putting on a helmet and proceeding to look like he's being electrocuted. There's lots of zapping and flashing and thrashing, which happens so quickly that you can't really fully appreciate all the faces Doc makes unless you continuously go back through the scene and pause it. Which is what I did. Here are some highlights.

Ridiculous.

Marty needs help studying for his science test. Doc won't give him any answers, but he does tell Marty he's free to use the library in the house. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that Marty will end up using this new machine to enhance his memory. Hmm...

We go check in on Verne then, who is tuning in for his favorite show, Mr. Wisdom. Jules, who is also in the room, voices his disapproval of both Verne sitting so close to the TV and Mr. Wisdom, who he says is a "phony." Verne doesn't care, though, and becomes overjoyed when he learns that Mr. Wisdom is traveling around on his bus and will be visiting Hill Valley the following day. Marty says he wants to go too since he'd rather ask Mr. Wisdom his science questions instead of actually looking through books for the answers.

Doc enters the room and freaks out at seeing Mr. Wisdom on the screen, but we don't get a reason as to why.

The next day, Marty and Verne venture over to Lone Pine Mall to meet Mr. Wisdom. Marty is less than impressed when Mr. Wisdom appears on stage for all of 10 seconds before directing the audience full of children to the gift shop and then literally vanishing in a flash of smoke and light??

We soon learn that Mr. Wisdom isn't the fun, goofy show host that he appears to be. Back on his bus, he's calculating how much money he's gotten out of "those little twerps." A small child finds his way onto the bus to ask for an autograph, and Mr. Wisdom opens A TRAP DOOR that the kid falls into. He is not a nice guy. This is him, btw. (in his Mr. Wisdom form, at least. It's revealed that this is a mask he puts on)

Yeah, that looks like a guy who would use trapdoors to make children disappear.

Verne talks Marty into going onto the bus to meet Mr. Wisdom, where the man soon learns who Verne's father is. "Emmett Lathrop Brown?!" he exclaims, to which Marty reacts with amusement at learning Doc's middle name. (do you really expect me to believe that Marty wouldn't have known this already??)

Anyway, if there are two good things the animated series gave us, it's Doc and Marty's middle names. This also makes me think of that strange little "theory" that's been floating around since forever that claims Doc's first and middle names read backward is "time portal." Ttemme Porhtal. I mean. Lathrop could for sure be read as "portal" but it's a stretch with Emmett. Though, "time" spelled backward can be read as "emit."

I digress...

Mr. Wisdom says that Emmett is his dearest old friend and suggests he go home with the boys to surprise him. Let's see how that goes.

After being left alone in the garage, Mr. Wisdom does some snooping around and takes a look at some of Doc's inventions. He's particularly intrigued when he finds the DeLorean, saying, "Could it be? His old college dream? Oh, not a flux capacitor!" And I take issue with this line because didn't Doc only come up with the flux capacitor that night he hit his head? This cartoon just does whatever it wants, though, so I shouldn't be surprised.

Doc isn't happy in the slightest to find his old college acquaintance in his house and runs him right out. When Marty and Verne question what the problem is, Doc tells them the story involves a long flashback, which we then go into. It all starts at the college Doc attended.

What a great name for a college.

Doc and Mr. Wisdom, whose real name is Walter, were roommates and frat brothers apparently. Here they are in happier times:

They're preparing for a science convention, and it becomes clear right away that Walter is jealous of Doc's inventions and his intelligence. When the day of the award ceremony comes, Walter wins after having stolen Doc's invention—the perpetual motion hula hoop. From there, Walter went on to sign a deal with a toy company, became wealthy, and was given his own science show. Doc finishes telling his tale with tears in his eyes (he's cutting onions while he tells it, lol).

Later that night, Walter Wisdom sneaks into Doc's lab to steal some of his inventions. Doc, Jules, and Verne wake up just in time to see the DeLorean speed off, and they manage to get a look at the date and location on the time circuits by using a specialized camera. His destination is ancient Egypt. Doc gathers the boys (including Marty, who had still been at the house trying to study) and they take off after Walter. Their excursion to Egypt lasts all of 30 seconds, though, as Walter changes course and programs the car to go to Krakatoa in 1883. Doc shoots out a rope and plunger-type device from the train that connects to the DeLorean, so they get pulled right along to the next time period. Once there, Walter flies the car over a volcano and cuts the rope, sending the train hurtling toward doom.

The train is immediately swallowed by lava. Goodbye Doc, Marty, Jules, and Verne. It's been real.

Meanwhile, back in the present day, Clara has woken up and is wondering where everyone is. She catches a broadcast that Mr. Wisdom is doing where he's advertising his new invention: a DeLorean time machine. Thankfully, his evil plans are crushed before anything can come of his little late-night commercial when Doc and the gang walk onto his stage. Yes, they're alive! And they look like this!

Doc just happened to have several of his "full-body oven mitts" on board the train, which protected them all from the lava. (I would very much like to know why Doc didn't just invent. Like. Regular looking suits that protect against fire. In what world is this a practical design? But it is very funny.)

Things continue to get even wackier when—after Walter and Doc argue for a bit over who's the "real" inventor—Marty proposes they settle it via an impromptu game show. ???? I guess to prove to the audience watching at home that Walter is a liar and thief?

So. Yeah, they throw together a whole elaborate game show with lights and flashing signs and such. They bring out each of the inventions Walter has stolen and challenge him to explain them, and when he can't, the points go to Doc. Marty's the host. It's all extremely silly.

I do like that Doc and his sons have matching pajamas. (But I must point out that only Doc was wearing them when they embarked on their journey in the train a few scenes prior. Jules had on a beige colored night-shirt, and Verne was wearing red pjs. So...this seems like an error. Which is par for the course for this show; there are SO many mistakes that I catch.)

The game show shenanigans come to an end when Walter attempts to use M.A.R.I.E. and fails to use the correct settings, causing him to have his memory wiped. Doc and the boys head home, and all is well.

We end the episode with Doc in outer space, where he's busy fixing the satellite. There isn't much interesting there, though. And that's it! Not a fan of this episode, to be honest. It was VERY disjointed, and all the action was rushed. It felt more like this should have been a two-parter, and they just squeezed everything into a single episode where the end chase scene and weird game show was made to fit into like...3 minutes total toward the end. We don't even get to see the volcano stuff. We just see the car fly into it, then it's a swift cut to the Mr. Wisdom TV segment, where Doc and the boys appear a few seconds later wearing the oven mitts. This might have had the potential to be an interesting episode if it had been split in two, and we got to see more chaos unfold.

After the last episode where Doc was put into that tiny jar, I just don't think anything else this show does will satisfy me.

Join me next time to meet Biff's son, Jennifer's grandparents, and. I dunno. The Futurepedia summary for it is long and convoluted, and I don't want to read it, lol.