#youll never be happy
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I've been working on a lot of new pieces and making them into merch, but before I start posting all of them you can go check out in the shops (linktr.ee/mezzy) Valentine's Bundle - merch that celebrates love (.... I mean klance, but I added Cuddlers as well, because I bet that if everyone had a Cuddler, world would be a better place).
There is a discount code fo 14% off of the Valentine's bundle - 7 codes for each shop (Bigcartel and Payhip) so use LO7E at the check out for a discount!
Happy Valentine's everyone thank you so much for sharing this with me and see you with the next post 💕💖💖
#i feel like crawled undeneath work for past weeks#i am so happy with all the choices ive went with#and the work ive put into them#im considering klamce might be dying out but im going to go down with this shit maybe literally#this is all I wanted to do before anything else lol no you know tbh there is a bookmark design#i was really tempted to add but it's from Cursed Love story and I said no AU shit before you finish shit#me sniffing pages of AUs i shouldnt be writing because they are not a priority: ure my personal brand of heroine bella#but yes! anyway i had more plans not only bookmark but memo pads other bracelets (more complicated) and earings (that one was my gf's idea)#but i decided to be sane (moderately)#i also bought new boxes for shipping and planned new freebies i am exited! im also exited to be done with planning and start sketching#i want to congratulate myself because ive been going off on how much pieces i start but never finish bc i had character development on that#i also eant to look myself in the eyes and ask are you happy now??????#youll never be happy#next monster to tackle are PDFs#once i sleep it all off though#once again have wonderful day everyone!!!
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would rather kms than make my only winbre post be about Suo's stupid ass, so it's time to talk about Nirei cause i love him. i read a post and my blood started boiling i dont fuck around so now i gotta defend him with my life. also cause im sick and tired of him not being deemed marketable enough to be included in merch and collab illusts when he's a whole—if not the most important—third of the main trio. (theres something to be said about Tsugeura too, considering they don't use him but love using Kiryuu, but that's a different conversation.)
anyway, on Nirei and the exceptionality of being ordinary.
manga spoilers btw also disclaimer im not eloquent at all i just say things.
there's something about Nirei that just simply isn't special and i think that's wonderful. not in a mean-spirited sense; Nirei is the most regular out of anyone in Furin, so much so that he had to buy an ugly shirt he didn't even like to stand out. he's just a kid with a notebook and a simple backstory trying to follow a hero's example. he's nothing extraordinary, especially seeing the people he's surrounded by. physically, he's very limited, which he knows and doesn't ignore at all, so he can't do much in fights. no one is more acutely aware of his own limits than Nirei. i was reading the first couple chapters again and it breaks my heart to hear his efforts be dismissed as "playing hero," because Nirei is the biggest hero in this whole manga.
it's true, yeah, he can't fight. he's more like another average citizen of Makochi than he is a Bofurin member sometimes. he lacks fighting abilities, his diplomacy isn't particularly the best, and he's two seconds away from going into cardiac arrest at almost all times. but it's not like he gives a shit. every single time he gets beaten into the ground, he picks himself back up immediately. he takes hit after hit, time and time again, because no matter how battered or defenseless he is, his drive to stay and protect the town is ridiculously strong. he does go down when he can't take any more (keel), but it's with improvement and training that he manages to throw his first—albeit useless—punch (noroshi or whatever this arc is called idk). improvement that, mind you, comes from recognizing his own limitations.
some have called him reckless (Suo), but i disagree, because Nirei is right. i know the kids would rather look out for him and have him uninjured by the end of a scuffle, but he doesn't need to be coddled. everybody else jumps into a brawl and gets a broken nose regardless of their fighting skills. Nirei isn't any different. he knows he's limited, he knows he can't fight, he knows he's nothing special. he risks it all anyway, because even though he wasn't built for fighting, he's more than prepared to try over and over again until his efforts are enough to make a difference. he's looked at Sakura's back and thought he couldn't match him, that Sakura gets back up even when he's almost fully tapped out, that he's not needed because Sakura's stronger and will be okay without him.
maybe he's right about this, too. i'm inclined to disagree, but i understand where he's coming from. Nirei chases, Nirei can't stop running because he'll fall behind all these phenomenal beasts that can hold their own. i'm so glad the conclusion he reached was "okay, i gotta step up my game," but i'm not really surprised. this is Nirei Akihiko we're talking about and, i think Suo put it best, he wants to become stronger more than anybody.
he's been at a disadvantage this whole time, "playing hero" rather than being an "actual" hero, but he has a goal. if he has to tear himself apart to stand next to Sakura, he will. he doesn't have to, of course, he's already more than useful the way he is, but when you're so ordinary that you get lost in the crowd, standing beside someone so exemplary makes you want more.
honestly, Nirei's fucking wild. lil bro's actually crazy. we've seen characters go apeshit, but no one in this entire manga is nearly as insane as he is. i appreciate Suo telling him to slow down and chill out, cause he was fully intending to kill himself learning how to fight with zero foundation. my guy was more than ready to actually fight Endo. he meant that. it's a good thing he's properly learning how to defend himself, considering he probably lacks the muscle to go on the offense. those are his limits and he knows that. it frustrates him, but it definitely does little to stop him, because look how big his back is. i hope somebody tells him, after all of this is over, that he's doing more than enough, more than great.
to be fair, fighting isn't even where he shines, and that's okay. he's not strong enough to beat anyone's ass and he doesn't need to be, either. he doesn't need to be a leader like Sakura or a devotee like Sugishita or mimic whatever the fuck Suo's got going on. in the words of my favorite pink curse, the real heroes are the ones who support from the back, and that's exactly what Nirei does. he's said it himself, he wants to guide Sakura all the way to the top and he can, because he thrives in being another citizen of Makochi. he's a regular person and i think that's what makes him so compelling and important.
there's something so fascinating about his simplicity. he really is nothing more than just an ordinary kid. put him in a normal high-school classroom and he'll pass his midterms with a 75. he recognizes what he's good at, of course, he knows the town inside out and it's very useful, especially to Sakura. he's amazing support. it really doesn't seem like it and people love to completely dismiss him, but i wanna be outrageous and call him the backbone of these kids. he was Sakura's first friend and he continues to be the one pushing and prodding to make sure he stands back up every single time. he's more necessary than anyone gives him credit for. i have no doubt in my mind that, if it weren't for him, Sakura wouldn't be able to do half the things he's managing. even Suo, who's out here acting like he knows the secrets of the universe, has to stop and reorganize his ideas when Nirei talks.
if Suo is the heart (debatable, but okay, whatever bro says) and brain, i'd like to think Nirei is the spirit and the soul. there's no chance the kids would work so smoothly without Nirei around—which, yes, arguably the same could be said of all of them, but i've seen Nirei be dismissed as a Zenitsu looking ass gag character and i've never had to hold back a kys so hard. idk for sure what the general consensus on him is cause i've only ever seen him used in the context of ships and never on his own, which honestly makes me a little sad. especially after seeing the popularity poll cause he didn't even make it into the top 5 with not even 1k points personal offense tbh i need a word with the voters. what i've gathered is that aint nobody gaf about his ass im devastated Suo has to fuck off (13k votes is crazy gang come on). which i don't understand. take him out of the equation and everything falls apart. Sakura's the sword, Suo's the strategy, and Nirei is the ambition, the desire, the force, the feelings.
there's much to be said about how he's treated, not only in-universe, but also by the people consuming the media and the pr team. i don't fuck with shipping, but when i'm scrolling through my timeline, Nirei only exists in the context of somebody's favorite ship. and don't fucking get me started on the mischaracterization. look me in the eye and tell me Nirei doesn't have more conviction than any of these dumbass kids. yes, he gets scared and he's fucking horrified most of the time, but motherfucker he's fighting. he's out there in the frontlines, making himself useful, biting more than he can chew and then some. i dare you to treat him like wittle baby that needs protection.
if not for his uniqueness, look at him for his regularity, because i find it endearingly wonderful. i think there's something so special about the ordinary. he deserves a lot more than what he's getting so these mfs better put him in all collab illusts cause if i have to see Kaji in his place one more time i will personally book a flight. okay thank you thats all i promise ill never come back here have day.
#wind breaker#nirei akihiko#sakura haruka#suo hayato#defending nirei on the internet is not enough i need a gun#id say nirei get behind me but no. nirei go beat someones ass#shoutout to kisaragi nanao btw my favorite pink curse#i love you nirei you deserve so much better#youre my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey youll never know dear how much i love you please dont take my suns#no cause it makes me so upset#hes right there are you fucking kidding me#what is it about him that makes people not wanna include him i dont get it#thats not true i do get it he looks too much like a child and you cant justify in your head wanting to fuck him#media literacy devil
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slime time!!! + headcanons (y juevos)
#qsmp#mcyt#q!slimecicle#charlie slimecicle#slimecicle#juanaflippa#dapper#q!dapper#the detachable limbs thing is not for angst its because its funny#q!slime has like... cartoon character physics to me#whats the word. cartoon laws#if you hit him witha big hammer he'd go flat like a pancake and then waddle away#i also hc he's malleable and stretchy. like goo !!!#hes canonically half slime half human iirc (or hes implied to be) and that makes me really happy#slime time slime time#i am still trying to figure out how to draw the eggs.... ive got juanaflippa down i think but im still messing around with the others#i think i have only drawn flippa dapper and. gegg#so far#guys youll. you. y. youll never guess who my favorite is. youll nev#i want to make him as much as a cryptid as i possibly can
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some league doodles (requested by my friends)
#wow can you tell who my favorite is i bet youll never guess !#yes they did request rakan too they wanted me to be happy#stinkerse#league of legends#league of legends fanart#evelynn#akali#hwei#rakan#kda
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im starting to think pangis friends are valid in their obsession w him bc like 90% of the time hes a dumbass but the other 10% of the time he is so incredibly fucking endearing it makes me want to eat drywall
#veni.txt#like oh my GOD does he say genuinely the sweetest things ever to his friends sometimes#“i know what youre worth pili ☺️”#“keep doing what youre doing im sure youll achieve greatness 🥰”#hes always so incredibly earnest abt it too#he never says it Just to make them happy or for the sake of it#he means it and thats what makes it so. SOBS.#i understand zam and derap and pili now#i want to shake pangi until he crumbles into dust#i seen some clips and he triggered my cuteness aggression so much#ive been a pangi viewer for 2? 3? months and never felt This much cuteness aggression ever
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i have to ask about indiana's The Accident(tm) Lore that was mentioned in the latest fic. if u have any, if it was just a throwaway thought, valid, have a nice night <3
oh this is a devius way of merging fanon and canon indi for me :D
okay so pre-accident, indi is teh canon, really ild, adrenaline junkie version of himself. will threaten u to a competition if u blink at him. most importantly, however, he is a racing driver.
around 1973 (which, fun fact, was called the worst Indy 500 year in history), he competes in the race and completely loses control of the car due to the poor weather.
and he is fucked. the crash leaves him with loads of burns, his back is really injjured, and his legs are more or less crushed.
and boom fanon indy is here. after the crash he completely loses his nerve, and the midwest does their whole oh-were-gonna-protect-you-becese-were-exactly-like-our-mothers way. indi is the sweetest guy u know but his self esteem is fucked. catch him rattling the bars of his enclosure wanting to drive but the second hes near a car again all he can think ab is the crash.
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another thing that annoys me is when people who live in a city cant name the closest major intersection to where they live. they cant even name a street thats more than 3 blocks away. how do you get anywhere? do anything? does someone put you in their backpack and blind fold you everytime you leave the house? do you know about street signs?
#sometimes i quiz lori on the 4 major streets surrounding us and what directions theyre in because i genuinely see it as a matter of safety#its like having an emergency contact or a spare key to your house#maybe youll never need it but if you ever do youll be happy you made the effort
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(WIP)
So do we fw the body hair
#(me knowing im keeping the body hair because i like it :))#he 100% has a beer belly. no ifs and or buts#JUST FINISHED THE LINEART LETS FUCKING GO-#AND IM REALLY HAPPY WITH IT :D#youll never guess what the reference to this was#ALSO ISTG I NEED TO DRAW HIM MORE. HE'S SO PRECIOUS AND I LOVE HIM-#[just me yapping]#💥❣️
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Sometimes I'm like "am I being too annoying with twinduo on main?" And I stop talking about them then I get asks questioning if something happened since I haven't talked about them and I'm like "aw hell yeah people like it lets gt back to my sillies" and then im like "what if its annoying" the then-
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#confession#series: dsmp#group: twinsduo#wilbur soot#technoblade#hold on i think its time for a bit of a jack yap#post whatever you want#its your blog!#if people get annoyed they can always unfollow or not look at your blog for a bit#post about what makes you happy and youll find people that also like it! more friends!#and also i completely understand being anxious about being annoying but know that theres no way that you'll never be annoying#chances are you'll annoy at least one person! probably more! and they can unfollow or stop interacting#if you wanna post about something that makes you happy do it. and if you annoy someone then that's life. there's no way to get through life-#-without annoying someone. its bound to happen#and obviously if people send you asks then they like it!#sorry for the yap. its to be expected from me#also name reveal yay! I'm jack :D
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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happy birthday tyler seguin (:
31 random (mostly giggly) gifs for tyler’s golden 31st birthday ⭐💛
#THIS TOOK SO LONG but i think im happy with it?#i wont know until it posts if tumblr fucks up the quality so#i watched so many open ices#i made all of these gifs with my bare hands#my favorites (not to make but in general) were:#cowboy hat ; tattoo vid ; the dude perf clips ; the clip where he does not pull his shirt down all the way#also i had the stupid listen to the tyler seguin showww tune stuck in my head#the entire fucking time#i never want to see his gay little face (affectionate) every a fucking gain#also let me know if this needs to have a read more bar added? i have no concept of how long it is?#its 5:30am est as im writing this and im so fucking tired?#i think ill schedule to post at like. 9. or something. 9:19 maybe would that be cute#whatever youll see#tyler seguin#dallas stars#cel gifs#this is my magnum opus#also feel free to ask where i got clips from i will see if i can remember (:
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actually no, clarisse went into the underworld and brought silena back, because she didn't deserve to die that way, they went on to be happier than ever, even though it wasn't without its faults of course, they were happy
#pjo#ruegard#silena has the acid burns#clarisse la rue#silena beauregard#percy jackson and the olympians#the last olympian#clarisse x silena#tlo#pjo tlo#femslash#i wish clarisse was real in the pjo universe#rick really said#im going to send her off to college (not that clarisse would want to go to college anyway)#and youll never hear from her again#why does silena have that flower in her hair?#clarisse put it there :3#also yes silenas death was very very narratively satisfying#i just wish theyd be happy#memento mari#also yes this was using piccrew
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I'm really gonna have to start writing nigelio fics cause there's like less than 50 of them and soon I'll have read them all
#curse you rarepairs#nigel said they understood eachother in a very “profound” way#🤨🏳️🌈❓️#i know what you are#anyway youll never catch me writing angst#so trust all my fics (if i ever get around to writing them) will be everyone lives/nobody dies#if nigelio were a trope/tag theyd be domestic fluff#in my opinion anyway#i just imagine them in a secluded house on the southern coast of france#being happy and married and retired#nigelio#elio de angelis#nigel mansell#formula 1#formula one#f1#classic f1
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having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself
#what if you felt unbearable guilt because your brother went missing in the two seconds you were separated#and you feel like there mustve been Something you couldve done to prevent it#if only you had stuck together. if only you hadnt let him tag along on your basically-a-suicide-mission in the first place#but none of those things happened so you go through three years blaming yourself#continuing to search for him because maybe hes still out there. and maybe exhausting yourself on an aimless search is a way you can atone#and then you're pulled into this big destiny adventure so your searching is put on the back burner#you're so busy doing important things and meeting new friends and there are points in your adventure where your heart feels lighter#and maybe you open up just a little about the crushing guilt you feel. and your new friends say it wasnt your fault#maybe you start accepting that your brother is really gone but you have to keep living your life#saving your brother was a far out dream but saving the world is something you have the power to do#so you try your best. so you dont fuck up this time#your guilt becomes the fuel keeping you going#and then at the end of your journey#you find out one of the biggest obstacles on your journey#the human chimera that you felt kinda horrified at and a little bad for even as you fought them#is your brother you've been mourning and agonizing over not being able to save#so um. The Guilt is even worse now#now he doesnt just feel responsible for his death. he Now feels responsible for him becoming this Creature Thing under porkys control#and in a lucas dies scenario. hoogh i cant imagine how claus would feel after that.......#however the thing that spurred this post was thinking about the lucas lives postgame scenario (it just got a bit out of hand lol) so.#your brother is alive and back home again and youre so unbelievably glad#but the guilt still creeps up every time you see how much hes Changed. physically and mentally#you had just started to accept the fact youd have to live without your brother but somehow having him back is almost just as painful#things cant just go back to how they were before. youll never be the exact same happy family as you used to be#its strange adjusting to having lucas back and its strange trying not to step on each others toes with their trauma#you cant help but be clingy because you couldnt bear it if he disappeared again under your watch#but nobody wants to be watched all the time especially when youre recovering from your brainwashed identity as an army commander#FUCK I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT I WANTED TO RAMBLE MORE AUGH. THEY MAKE ME SO ILL. i swear its not all angst theres some lightheartedness in it#mother 3 swap au#mothfics
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YALL IM ABOUT TO BUST WHAT THE FUCK LOOK AT HIM HOLY SHIT ON A STICK
#Arknights#lessing#lessing Arknights#arknights Lessing#MORE SKINS TO BUY IM GONNA GO BROKE#AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#OH MY FUCKING GOD#LOOK AT HUM#I WANT IT SO BAD#WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SIX MONTHS AWAY LIKE#I JUST WANNA EAT HIM#LOOK AT THIS FUCKINH REBEL DUDE#GRANDPA AINT GONNA BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS#I WANNA SWALLA THIS MOTHERFUCKER WHOLE#I CANT STOP STARING AND SCREAMING#AND I HAVE TO GET THIS SKIN OH MY LORD#PLEASE MAKE MORE LESSING SKINS HG AND MY LIFE IS YOURS#MY DAD IS WONDERING WHY THE FUCKING IM SCREAMING SO DAMN LOUD#FICK OFF DAD YOULL NEVER UNDERSTAND#I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW#*SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*
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POV: babe won't stop flattering you at work
(crying bc why it look like dat damn you Tumblr always making my images low quality)
#baron von steuben#von steuben#amrev#american revolution#queer history#idk#amrev slander#uwu#gay gay homosexual gay#baron friedrich von steuben#my art#its bad tho#bad art#traditional art#lgbtq history#pride month#happy pride 🌈#yayayay#alcohol markers#beginner artist#gay gay gay#they're gay#hes gay your honor#uwu boy#idk what to tag#yk what color I used?#prussian blue#it works bc youll never guess what#hes actually#prussian
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