#you should all probably be concerned
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Yukan no Shonen my baby boy. Have an appreciation post!
#lomando#yukan no shonen#best boy#my child <3#i really fucking love him#he's so fucking beautiful#cute#he's so cuuuuute#you should all probably be concerned#I love this boy please let me pet him pleaaaaaseeeeee tumblr
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This was going to be a panel of a little comic but I got too invested in drawing minute background details so, here.
#They are having an argument over 1) whether crops can be grown on the moons 2) what - if any - impact does this have on the feasibility#of an afterlife being located on the moons#Brakul is a partial convert to the Imperial Wardi faith but this mostly entails having adopted the seven faced God (and some#other elements of the belief system) into his worldview and participating in expected rites while retaining his central#ancestor veneration practices completely unchanged and mostly prioritized.#This doesn't actually cause much friction in of itself with the big exception being disagreements on the afterlife#Wardi practices surrounding death prioritize proper handling of the corpse and funerary rites in order to get the dead where they#need to be- death is a fraught transition from one state to another. analogous to birth. The role of the living is to get the dead through#this transition (preventing them from being stuck earthbound as earthbound ghosts - which is the Bad afterlife). Once the dead#make it to the moons that's it. They don't really interact with the living. There's plenty of conceptualization of what it's Like#in the lunar lands but the cultural priority is not even slightly on the Logistics of existence there.#Whereas the CORE of religious practice among the Hill Tribes is ancestor veneration - ancestors remain interactive with the living#and require/desire their continual support. They are conceptualized as having earthlike 'lives' where they eat and drink#and grow crops and herd livestock and they need the support of the living (in prayers and offerings) to do so prosperously.#There is a HIGH cultural priority on the logistics of their afterlife and it's self-apparent that the world of the dead needs fertile earth#to support them.#So like bottom line Brakul thinks there's no goddamn way that the moons could support an afterlife (they are described as#barren rock that was flung into the sky during creation and certainly Look that way)#and that the Wardi are just wrong about their afterlife's location. They probably go to the celestial fields (which are located#behind the moons and stars) like everyone else#And Janeys finds this aggravating and doesn't see his fucking point but has developed a nagging concern that Brakul Could be#partly right in that the celestial fields could Maybe exist in addition to the lunar lands.#So like maybe they aren't going to go to the same place when they die?#He's already terrified that he'll be stuck as an earthbound ghost and really doesn't want to be even further separated so#he figures he should make sure he gets himself dead and cremated at the same time as Brakul so they can navigate the#transitional period together.#Brakul is unconcerned because he figures that if Janeys actually does get stuck on those barren ass moons he can just kinda#Go Get Him#Ancestor spirits fly to the earth all the time and the moons would be a much shorter distance. Probably wouldn't be an issue.#Long story short these disagreements and underlying anxieties result in fights over whether you can grow corn on the moons or nah
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Obsessed with Lloyd never mentioning his grandfather is the First Spinjitsu Master, apparently to the point even Arin didn't seem to know, because "eh, it never came up". Cause like, yeah, sure, my grandfather is God, what of it? Normal day for me. Shit happens. My dad is also evil, you wanna talk about that? I sure don't.
It's also funny from a character arc perspective. Here's itty bitty baby first season Lloyd, loudly proclaiming he's the son of Garmadon, and probably also making sure everyone knows he's God part 3 electric boogaloo. And then one Tomorrow's Tea and a few more years later and he's doing everything physically possible to NOT care about his heritage. In fact he'd probably rather his parentage was literally anyone else. Dude could care so less he forgets about it most of the time. King behavior.
#ninjago#dragons rising#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago dr#lego ninjago#lloyd garmadon#first spinjitzu master#garmadon#text post#talk#ideas#lloyd that entire time interally was probably like 'did wu get a temple--? oh wait thats granddad. sorry granddad. i guess'#he took one look at that altar and went hm. should probably fix that. mostly cause it'll fix my problem but wu didnt raise no disrespect#(except for when the disrespect is funny) what who said that#do you think he was like 'oh thank granddad finally my godly heritage isnt screwing me over' when the ghost mentioned needing a descendant#or was he like 'well. its another day of me being grandfathers favorite i guess'#do you think sora and arin felt awkward realizing they were in the temple of lloyds granddad. meanwhile lloyd did not give a flying fck#as far as hes concerned granddad can stuff it cause hes 80% all the sht that happens to him is bc God really likes him & thinks starting#problems is an appropriate way to show his love. and he doesnt think god takes constructive criticism#he sure will try tho#also yknow his closest interactions with Gods are his dad & uncle. & Wu is. like that. & also he's so sick of garmadon's bs#'my dad is literally banging some news guy i could not respect him less if i tried. his taste has only ever been mediocre. sorry mom'
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pulls you close and looks into your eyes... doctor odyssey fandom please... promise me that if the ody3 are in a V relationship or an open polycule instead of a closed triad you will be normal about it... 🙏
#text#doctor odyssey#ody3#seeing some posts that have me Concerned#you guys do know that there's more ways to be polyamorous than throuples... right?#and that the writers arent doing anything wrong if all sides don't touch or characters have relationships outside of the ody3#despite their overwhelming representation closed triads are one of the rarer ways to do things...#I know you're all probably used to shipping monogamous couples but the show doesn't have to recreate A Couple But There's Three Of Them#to write a good polycule#and they can have different relationships within the triad!! they don't all need to be in Exactly The Same Place at Exactly The Same Time#my post#edit: just to be clear I do not think a network tv show is gonna explore the intricacies re; polyamory styles..#but that doesn't mean We should be Weird about it lmao#edit edit: just to be clearer. I am hoping and praying for all sides to touch 🤞
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Okay I've witnessed it happening enough in Queer Internet Circles that I think I can confidently say something about it.
Can we PLEASE stop picking arbitrary lgbt+ demographics out of a hat and having entire conversations about how they 'aren't actually queer' and 'taking valuable resources' for the crimes of 'some of them are cringe' or 'some of them are assholes' or 'they have a nebulous privilege over the rest of us so they're the oppressor, actually'.
Like look, some conversations are absolutely worth having. There's a lot of transmasc shitheads who latch on to toxic masculinity or seem to completely forget what it's like to navigate a world that considers you a woman, or completely fail to realize that being transgender yourself doesn't suddenly mean you don't have to examine yourself for internalized transphobia or transmisogyny. And that should be addressed, every community has its issues, no community is a monolith, no demographic is made up of entirely good smart righteous people or evil bad oppressive abusers. Obviously.
But I'm not talking about that!
I'm talking about people bringing up the same tired rhetoric they used when they tried to claim that nonbinary people are clout-chasing attention seekers who will keep cishet society from taking the rest of us seriously, that people used when they decided asexuals were actually cishets who co-opted our movement for their own personal gain, which was recycled from when people tried to claim that bisexuals are het-passing fakers and if a REAL queer has sex with one they'll be left for a cishet because that's what bisexuals do, which is the same as the shit they spewed at whoever the target was before that! It's paranoid nonsense all the way down, people looking for an acceptable target to take their shit out on!
Can we stop doing this, please?? Can we stop picking demographics within our own community that people arbitrarily decide are fine to bully and mock and kick out of the spaces they helped create because you think that they're cringe or that speaking about the issues they face is privileged whining? Can we stop giving bigoted cishets free reign on already vulnerable communities because someone arbitrarily decided that THESE queers are evil and cringe so its okay to make shitty comments and jokes about them? Can we PLEASE stop the cycle in its tracks while we can still see the crosshairs moving onto tranfems and trans women? We can stop this now before it starts getting uglier and deadlier, but we HAVE to be aware and do more than complaining about it online.
#spitblaze says things#and im ESPECIALLY worried because i have an extremely bad feeling that the next target is gonna be transfems and trans women#so KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF! ALL OF YOU!!!#long post#i have been wrong before! i will be wrong again! im not a spokesperson or an authority im just noticing trends#THAT HAVE ME VERY FUCKING CONCERNED#ugh. i feel like i should stop making posts about queer community stuff. i probably should for my mental health#but mostly it feels like i dont have any place to talk. unsure if thats true or anxiety brainworms but.#its never brought me anything except frustration and anguish anyway so. dont expect more original posts on the subject
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Hello again, fellas. (And to whoever is actually interested in looking at my weird little AU-) Sanctuary has been on my mind lately and uhhh, I’d like to introduce you to some new characters!
Meet the Eventide Duo: REI and KAI!
I, like with Aster and Del, have never drawn them before, and because I honestly didn’t have it in me to do two full-body drawings with color and everything, doodling them was the next best thing. I’ve been thinking about these two a lot and just really wanted to get them down as a start. Soooo—this is their first pass and things are subject to change! (Please excuse the messiness-)
Rei (the Red) and Kai (the Blue) come from—okay this is kinda funny now that I’m writing it out—their AU was inspired by an FNF fan song that I heard awhile back. It was something like “Frostbite but Blue.” The person who made the song (I don’t remember their name off the top of my head) said they were going to post the lore, but as far as I know they never did, so my brain kinda took the concept and ran with it—making it into my own story. (Sorry to whoever that was-)
Rei is the fledgling god of the Sun and the Second Coming of Arceus. He ascended to godhood after his untimely death, returning to earth to protect the one he loves. Rei may look like a massive grump, but in reality, he's a ray of sunshine and one of the most warm-hearted and protective people you'll ever meet. Kai is still a Pokémon Trainer, but he’s also Rei's singular devotee. He's honestly pretty quiet for a Blue, if not a bit high-strung, but he's loyal and sweet, even if he has a bit of a hard time showing it.
The both of them worked together to survive the violent floods and rainfall that devastated their original home, and now live a quiet life together in Sanctuary, going on little adventures here and there to try and reclaim the life they lost bit by bit.
(Okay, time to tag my one fan. @100nebulas , I think you said you wanted more Sanctuary content in general that one time, so I guess you’re gonna be eternally tagged in these lmao. Hope you enjoy :])
#WOO NEW CHARACTERS LETS GO-#Okay actually it’s 4 am and I’m dead. I genuinely thought I was going to do this tomorrow but I finished the art a few hours ago-#and just really struggled with how to write their mini bio :/ I’m tired.#But Anyway! More Characters for the Cast! Yippee!#(And for whom it may concern—Rei and Kai are the only two characters I have that are canonically (romantically) in love.)#I really wanted to do something special for all of my characters. Like- make them all full-body art and then doodle in the extra details-#and write a ton of headcanon/lore about them under a cut kinda like what the folks over at TheMissingNumbers did-#but I’ve got no drive and doodling is all I’m capable of to be honest.#But getting them down is the most important part. I can go back and reorganize everything later with better art and info.#All of my characters come in pairs (for whatever reason—not even I know.) So expect more doodles at… some point. I can’t really tell you.#Sanctuary’s main cast (and by main cast I mean the characters I think of most often) is around 8-10 characters.#(on the fence about the last two.)#But uh- don’t expect anything high-quality for awhile. I’m doing my best over here and am just trying to have fun.#Anywho- Ignore me. I hope you enjoy the new guys! For my one fan—I’d like to know what you think. :)#(Also sorry for the longer main post. I normally have a cut there but I don’t have anything to put under it. The art is just the doodle-)#(Probably should have mentioned that Sanctuary is built on a Multiverse-type base… thing. I don’t know how to describe it.#Multiple Universes. Multiple Red’s. Multiple Blue’s. All that jazz. Sorry. like I said—I’m tired :/)#(Hopefully nobody is confused-)
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“Matsuura-san’s parent died… Hikaru’s parent also died… having your parent die… is bad.”
Thank god we’ve got Yoshiki here, modern philosopher of our time, to drop this wisdom upon us. Surely this grand conclusion, which required a whole flashback to come to, will have an impact on how Yoshiki views death going forward- oh wait, lol what am I saying? Of course it’s not!
#It took so much to come to the coldest take I’ve ever seen#Like Yoshiki pulled this straight out of the fridge ‘hikaru’ put Matsuura in#And he somehow got less empathetic after this point#At the point that /‘Hikaru’/ is the one going ‘should we care about this person dying?’#And Yoshiki is going ‘nah. We’ve got a research project to do’#Smth has definitely changed#I hope this obsession with the research project is like- an actual thing#Maybe like Yoshiki is experiencing that same emptiness ‘hikaru’ feels on a daily basis but he doesn’t know what would fill it#So he’s just seeking out and taking in as much information as he can because learning has always been an escape for Yoshiki#Like being smart is Yoshiki’s way out of the village. Every time Tokyo is brought up it’s almost always in reference to his intelligence#So learning more has always been Yoshiki’s solution to things. ALSO Yoshiki is actually obsessed w/ this research project#He thinks about it while he’s in class- while he’s studying outside of class- while his friends are all talking-#You can probably count on two hands the amount of times Yoshiki talks about smth other than the research project post volume 3#It’s actually concerning#hikaru ga shinda natsu#the summer hikaru died#hgsn#hgsn spoilers#my hgsn shit#It doesn’t have to be because he’s becoming more like ‘hikaru’#I’d just like for that plot point to come up again and be like a driving force for why Yoshiki acts the way he does#The actual reason will be nothing at all#And instead Yoshiki will revert back to normal when Maki eventually dies#Because Yoshiki is only capable of caring about people he knows the name of
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as the tumblr's resident snuffy expert I have to ask you what you think snuffy and lorenzo's actual legal relationship is (like did he take on the role of his guardian or is he technically more of a sponsor) and furthermore what you think their dynamic is like behind the scenes. like even if you accept the idea that snuffy is more of a father figure to lorenzo than an employer there's no way that this guy who was a homeless orphan until he was a teenager and the man who took him in *on the basis that he be athletically successful* have like. a normal unremarkable parent-child dynamic
Thanks for the question, sorry about the yapping
I'm torn on how to answer the legal relationship question. To me, it depends on how old you think Lorenzo is during the flashback. I always thought he was around 15-16, so I rarely consider an option where Snuffy isn't his legal guardian. However I could see some PIFA fuckery involved to avoid any legal trouble in the case he didn't have a legal guardian involved before becoming an adult legally.
Even then the process for getting gold teeth takes more than one day (all the visits you need to get your teeth properly checked for the procedure, the healing process takes months and more visits, etc) and he was near death so I'd like to think he was taken care/supervised of by Snuffy during that time (which is why Lorenzo's so attached to him). (the amount of care is up to interpretation bc it's hc territory anyway)
After that, when Lorenzo started playing football, *then* it's more of a sponsor/employer/advisor?/mentor? situation that occasionally bleeds into guardian-adopteé territory but never completely. I think they had something similar to how Ray Dark ended up dropping Kaiser at the BM dorms, except I think Snuffy directly had a hand in training/teaching Lorenzo before and still kept somewhat in contact during. I also like to think he got him a tutor or something, but this is more so I can sleep well at night. Snuffy IS the "what will you do when football's no longer an option" guy anyway so it's not unrealistic.
I need to add somewhere in this post that I believe/know in my heart that Snuffy picking up Lorenzo happened a bit after Mick died (months, maybe a year max) and specifically because of it. Comparing dead Mick & almost dying Lorenzo was super common when ch. 229 came out so I won't elaborate much on it, I just wanted to mention it.
Dynamics wise... There's too much going on for them to be in a normal boss and employee situation, Snuffy isn't fazed by Lorenzo's antics at all, Lorenzo goes up to Barou* to convince him to succeed Snuffy while also bringing up Snuffy's promise to Mick and also just everything about Lorenzo's reaction to Snuffy going back on his retirement, he literally told Barou he loved him & offered him a gold tooth. I don't think he says that to anyone yknow
*and by the way this interaction always stands out to me, since the timeline of events is not clear at all. all bc the fucking blue lock building is built like a prison and idk what time it is. I think Snuffy&Barou´s conversation happened at least some hours or a day after the Ubers introduction bit. During Lorenzo's backstory dump they're wearing pajamas but then Snuffy tells them it's time to train, so I assume it's the morning after that. Anyway I wonder if Snuffy just told him about it or if he directly asked him to talk to Barou. I feel like it's the former (given their reactions to Barou accepting Snuffy's deal) but the setup kinda makes it feel like the latter. whatever it was I think it's evidence for me to say that Snuffy trusts Lorenzo.
And I feel like there's nothing direct I can point to to say they're close enough to have a regular parent and child relationship. Still I feel like just by having Lorenzo be a NG11 and the fact that he enjoys football and doesn't scream cry and throw up when he loses or when he is inconvenienced (THE BAR IS ON HELL) makes me think Snuffy is mostly a positive influence on him. I like to think Snuffy does care a lot about him but he's the type of guy that shows it by meddling (kinda like Reo or younger Sae (who wasn't much of a meddler iirc. this makes sense in my mind)) and just isn't that visibly affectionate with anyone anymore.
More about the father and son thing. This is also headcanon territory I'm sorry. I don't think they, like, go out fishing as a bonding thing or anything like that. but I do think they don't go a week w/out talking bc I think Snuffy's a bit neurotic about how the people he cares about are doing because of reasons and Lorenzo loves talking people's ears off about everything and nothing. I think Lorenzo tried giving him an expensive gift with one of his first paychecks and mentioned "paying back his debt bit by bit" as a joke that wasn't really a joke and Snuffy's face twisted & he said something along the lines of Lorenzo not owing him anything and it was awkward between them for a while after that. I think its fucking WEIRD but they care abt each other and that's what matters
TL;DR: I think there had to be a point where Snuffy was his legal guardian or at least acted like it to some degree. In regards to their dynamic behind the scenes, that is not a father that is a grieving tutor-guardian-mentor-advisor-employer-professional football player and his renowned domesticated possum employee/adopteé who is soooooooo normal about worth.
#You said once that Barou is like Snuffy's cat who fucks up his furniture#& on that note Lorenzo's the weird mutt he rescued when he was a little too old to be taken adoption centre & now he's#really good at flyball (but it's kind of concerning given that he was picked up on the idea that he'd do flyball but I guess he likes#flyball now but also im kind of concerned about his thought process regarding worth and flyball scores and how it affects his interactions#with other dogs but he seems fine he's just kind of weird but its okay)#i dont want to overuse dog parallels but he literally barked. he also meowed but that was in one translation so idk#anddd i think echariie said something once abt lorenzo trying to pay back snuffy for all he did for him but i think he's no longer trying t#do so. but i do fully believe he used to and had his. in blue lock terms. awakening when he realized this is a sports for freaks#and brother. he is world class in freakery.#i just fucking say shit. one of u should take me out (kill)#lorenzos value thing is what makes me squint at snuffy a little honestly but its like. yeah sure#whatever i burnt all my braincells off typing this i literally havent eaten or blinked writing this.#commitment and a bit of mental illness methinks#txt#oh my fucking god this is so longgggggg#also . i thought abt this just now im an idiot but lorenzos def so happy bc now he's moving on to u25 probably and might get called for#the next world cup so was he excited abt playing on the same team as snuffy? fuck off#fuck offfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff#they make me ILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL#i dont want to look at this post anymore get out of my drafts
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I do love the netflix avatar in my own way because it provides me with enrichment in the same way brain puzzles do for chimps. Like something is WRONG here and it's your very special job to figure out why! And then you will get juice reward!!
#its been making me think about the cartoon a lot lately for the sake of comparing and contrasting#so thats great#it was a very good cartoon#i do actually think that its stupid to complain about how its objectively bad when an adaption makes changes to the original#because that SHOULD be the point of an adaption. to try things in a new way and somehow improve on the story#but i think its funny how this show is constantly like ''we're gonna take a DIFFERENT route with this character''#and then the DIFFERENT ROUTE leads to them driving the car off a cliff#we will not get to our destination this way bestie#out of all the changes theyve made to the original i think the most misguided and overall dogshit is how theyre portraying Azula#it annoying when people say ''theyre ACTUALLY writing her as a victim of her father's abuse this this''#''shes ACTUALLY sympathetic this time''#girl i hate it here#netflix show is a COWARD for showing Azula this way in season 1#not that its not somewhat in character. if ozai started playing mindgames with her she probably would start spiraling like this#the problem is that we shouldnt be SEEING IT!!#avatar is regarded as Baby's First Media Analysis for a lot of people#and boy oh boy there was a lot of analytic meat to Azula's character#but the netflix version? this is a skeleton!! bones!!!#like obviously if you were watching the cartoon as an adult it would be immediately apparent#that this 14 yo girl acting not only like a grown woman but a calm calculated genocidal tyrant is very concerning#and it makes her sympathetic by defualt on the grounds of being a child#but a kid isnt going to realize that!! Azula is supposed to be polarizing!!#youre meant to buy into the narrative that everything is easy for her. that no effort troubles her mind#her unflappable nature is meant to unsettle you. intimidate you. she has no weaknesses shes unstoppable and shes pure evil#as a kid who is still learning how to think deeply about things thats how youre to perceive her#and then. AND THEN!! then the show pulls the rug out from under you and makes you question everything#Azula's gradually unraveling sanity in book 3 is jarring and unnatural and it forces you to challenge your own opinion of her#you become uncomfortably aware that shes a victim too. after all this time youve spent hating her#just like zuko. just like the fire family child that you had already come to realize was ''actually good''#after that first watch its hard to decide how you feel about her. as a kid anyway. but its sad. its all so very sad
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Feel like I need to defend the people being upset about the non existent Agatha/Rio just a little bit and maybe that's because I'm also a lesbian who really likes them but I feel like the hate towards lesbians is a bit uncalled for or excessive like. Obviously homophobia or just full on blatantly hating on Billy as a character is shitty and I'm not defending that. But the way some people talk about this like "ugh can these annoying lesbians just shut up already?? How dare they be scared that this show might take a turn and take focus away from the sapphic couple?" Cause like that's what it is. Sapphic people are scared or upset about the possibility of the focus being taken off of Agatha and Rio and their relationship completely now that they have introduced a character that is important and will continue to appear in other Marvel media. Because good sapphic representation has been taken away too early or messed with a lot already. I think that if in the next episodes there are more Rio and Agatha scenes and important moments and just relationship stuff then most sapphic people who are complaining right now are gonna be totally okay with Billy's story. But right now we just can't know for certain.
Also I just have to say I see way more people hating on lesbians right now than I see lesbians being outright homophobic in the tag...
#agatha all along#i for one really like billys episode#but we also haven't had any other fully character centric episode for any other character#so it's definetly a step away from the actual show#and people are just scared that after all agatha all along was just a starting point to kick of billys storyline#because You Never Know With Marvel#i'm not at all hating on billy getting a kiss first#because after all queer rep is queer rep#but i would say if he gets a kiss and agatha and rio don't get a kiss or something similar to that in the next episodes#then lesbians are gonna be allowed to rightfully be upset#i think we all should probably cool down a bit and wait for the last three episodes to be released#anyways just to clarify again so i don't get shit on under this post#i like both agatha and billy#and i'm not angry at billy for geting an episode all about himself#but i can also see where lesbians and sapphic people are coming from when they are upset about the focus being pulled away from agatha and#rio#both sides are valid#but when you start being hateful toward a group of people enjoying a piece of media or showing concern for the direction that piece of medi#is going in#the you become the asshole#so maybe just lay off on insulting people#lea's random thoughts#anyways that's my take on this whole thing#i am hopeful that we will also get more agatha and rio moments but i can totally see why other people might be scared that they won't happe
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one odd thing about going deeper is that I'm no longer satisfied with shallower. and that's, weirdly enough, a net positive. I've self harmed - eh, twice? in the last month. both were well into the criteria that should have got sutures and ignored it; suspect I hit a vein once and was extremely close to muscle, which feels kind of odd. yeah, it's ramped up; yeah, there's a lot of blood and all that kind of stuff. very high risk of infection, potential nerve damage and all that kind of stuff (though I have not got either of them; I scared off an infection that wanted to hang round by chucking quantities of alcohol on it). but at the same time. that's only twice. that's a lot better than previously.
#tw sh#the one from a fortnight ago. which i have told nobody irl about including the person to which i showed the first one. is still thinking#about healing and not really doing it yet. it'll get there. might have to wear a bandage or smth on placement#if we were going into winter i would think there was a serious concern of doing it a bunch more but for now i know i absolutely cannot#because it will be visible.#i mean it already will but im gonna pretend it was from months ago and hopefully deflect questions about just how i got such scars#actually the one that i think approached muscle is surprisingly close to healed and probably going to scar surprisingly little#the other one is simply too fresh still to know how it'll scar#should've taken progress pictures to monitor healing but was too scared others would accidentally see it#didn't want to traumatise folks#honestly was genuinely tempted to take one (1) photo of the more recent one and post on my secret sh tumblr but i talked myself out of that#anyway im fine#personal#puddleglum hours#yesterday dad hugged me and patted my arm and it was LITERALLY directly on top of the fresher one but i was able to Not flinch#fun fact: when you go that deep it is in fact Less painful than a few layers shallower#which i found to my own concern the first time and was freaking out thinking id done something nerve-related#anyway yes i really am fine prommy#fessed up to my doc about self harming anyway#and technically unless muscle is involved it is clinically described as superficial#(fat layer is the one where they will nearly always consider sutures necessary but some shallower will be dependent on how much they gape)#but also because of how much blood there is every time you kinda have to spend longer making sure you're not gonna bleed all over everythin#so that also stops me bc oh it's nearly midnight i cannot devote like two hours or three to making sure i don't wake up in a puddle of bloo#(hyperbole)#anyway in some ways i find this funny. probably should be vaguely concerned. but eh
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Unfortunately I was reminded of Variable Barricade and I'm like "haha ah yes, the worst love interests you can imagine thrown into one game so that the MC can be disgusted with all of them". Then I was like "I miss my son, Nayuta. What a little freak. I want to draw him again". But also had no idea what to draw so I drew him getting yelled at by Ichiya and OH MAN. WHAT A SHOCK. It's Ichiya's birthday and it was completely unintentional I didn't mean to give the man art for his bday but here we are.
#variable barricade#nayuta yagami#ichiya mitsumori#happy birthday you sleaze ball i guess#i genuinely enjoyed what i played and i should go back to it and play more at some point to see if ANY of them#actually improve bc im only really concerned with these two#but anyway i havent played it in ages#the worst thing about adopting a son in this game is my son is like PLEASE STEP ON ME AND YELL AT ME IF YOU WANT#and im like son no thats very awkward for everyone (both in game and me playing it)#he probably just ate food he wasnt supposed to that was for the mc ?? thats all i can think of#one day i will learn how to draw handsome men so i can draw ichiya but for now have someone who doesnt look like him really
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I really wanna draw but I'm suddenly super sick and everything hurts pls send help
#also I am thinking about starting streaming again because I am so much happier because of the ect treatment#and I would just like to talk to people#because I am just a happy person who likes talking to people#and it feels weird to say that after being so depressed for many many many years#like I can't remember the last time I wasn't depressed#but now I feel so much better#brains are weird#but my body is too and I am sick so freaking sick#I love you all#I also love jjk and I wanna draw all of the characters#it's my new hyperfixation#if you hadn't noticed#you guys are so amazing#breathing hurts and my dad is very concerned but it's probably nothing#pray for me#my muscles are also in incredible pain#like wtf#I should sleep#but I wanna draw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#whatever
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Meep meep meep meep.
#james bond#007#goldeneye#n64 games#brosnan bond#alec trevelyan#xenia onatopp#remote mine#proximity mine#timed mine#3d printing#action figures#merch#silverova's bond collection#makingthemine#thank you so much my dude you rock#super honored to be one of the two custodians of the full set#also#the guys all look#concerned#lol#as they probably should be
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#xadri au where they never met during the timeline of the games#and radri had chosen to ascend in a mixture of guilt/loneliness/'i'm no good as i am i might as well go'#but like 10-20 years later radri hasnt focused on worshippers or anything at all and is coasting on whoever still worships her just from#what she did during the games timeline (helping people; killing people; others see what they want to see from her history)#and radri's started spending more time in avatar form just like. tagging along in her old companions lives--mainly jaheira and imoen#and she's clearly so lost and so sad and meanwhile jaheira and imoen have like processed what happened and moved on#and whats unspoken is that radri really really should not have chosen godhood over staying mortal#anyway in this process of tagging along/playing mortal she somehow meets xan and xan soon unknowingly has a goddess courting* him#(* radri will not admit or examine what she feels for him but to anyone else her feelings are pretty obvious)#(* xan doesn't have the space to take her attention seriously when he's more concerned with her near absent sense of self preservation)#maybe its a greycloak harper collab where jaheiras brought radri in as extra support idk#anyway all this just for radri to finally go 'i love you' and xan to go 'no i dont want to love you and have to lose you'#and for her to go 'oh if thats the only hangup this is probably a good time to segue into the other confession i have for you--'#xan x radri
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there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn
#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon#although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great#whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time#kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’#or at least triggers that i can plan around#the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one#the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni#and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis?#but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal#i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months#so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically)#so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point#obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again#i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time#BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT#‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately#personal#but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12#so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’#and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes#wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health#and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder#so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test#i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing#might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained
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