#to write a good polycule

[mauvesockss]

pulls you close and looks into your eyes... doctor odyssey fandom please... promise me that if the ody3 are in a V relationship or an open polycule instead of a closed triad you will be normal about it... 🙏

[foodtruckery]

Please please please wax poetic about the transformers gf au. Never seen transformers but i think the fact that in a stancest adjacent au ford would be competing with stan’s fucking car for his love is absolutely hilarious

the car has been on more dates with stan than ford ever will 😭 full stop believe ford is dragging stan on the boat to get him away: no roads, no damn car!! he’s the world’s greatest advocate for public transport now!!

anon, this has been fucking KILLING ME since you sent it. it is, of course, my solemn duty as a bitch who saw the first bayverse transformers movie 13 times in theaters (don't come for me) to recommend giving any one of the series or movies or comics a shot!

but holy fuck hahahahaha. ford vs the giant alien robot for stan's affection is so fucking good. cause it's not JUST that stan would clearly be entirely too enamored by his car -- that's just stan, sentient robot component or not. but it's that a) the vehicle is clearly an anomaly and ford has FEELINGS about that. in any other situation, being presented with an opportunity to observe an extraterrestial lifeform like this would be a dream come true! but let's be real here: stan never cared about anomalies the way ford did. the only anomaly stan had EVER really cared about was ford himself. so for stan to suddenly be soooo interested in this one? ford isn't jealous, of course, it just doesn't make logical sense!

and then there's b) the robot has taken ford's place in stan's life. stan would never say it that way, of course, but ford isn't an idiot, he's a genius and he has 12 phd's to prove it. the way stan confides in his damn car, looks to it for reassurance, trusts it to have his back, to keep him safe, to help him out of a bind. he has inside jokes with the damn thing and a nickname and is more comfortable sleeping tucked up on its backseat than inside of ford's house?! those are ford's responsibilities, the gaps that used to be filled with ford's presence and comfort and voice. and he can't even say any of it because the stupid fucking car was there when ford wasn't. and maybe if it hadn't been, stan would have gotten over himself and reached out sooner! before ford got tangled up in all of this.

because OF COURSE, we have c) the fact that stan made contact with an extraterrestrial creature and does not seem to have entered into a bargain that's likely to get him killed the way ford has. stan has companionship with this creature. a companionship that at least appears to be recipriocated. there's no binding clause forcing them to stay together. stan has managed to not only find and befriend an anomaly, the likes of which ford has never seen, but he also seems to have developed a genuine connection with it. it's bad enough that stan was good with PEOPLE in a way that ford never was, but for him to also have that touch with the one thing ford was supposed to be good with????? and ford finding out probably in the midst of or sometime after being fucked over by bill?? i think that would fucking eat ford alive.

[ms-all-sunday]

post timeskip they start calling zoro a good boy because he's taking orders and being so much less grumpy about it and he gets painfully turned on in public. sabaody like is the start of this it starts really fucking early

[ucetheones]

Can't It Wait? | Jey Uso x Rhea Ripley

just a long lil peek into my next fic!! before going into it, pls know things aren't exactly what they appear to be. but i will not elaborate on how !! <3

It started as simple ribbing, Jey had just wanted to get under Dominik's skin. He wanted to send a message that the offer to join The Judgement Day had never been more than a joke to him. The memes, the fanart. It was all meant to play into Jey not joining their merry band of emo wrestlers. He had no real feelings towards Rhea, he had no intentions of pursuing her, or taking her away from Dominik. It started as a joke, and it was meant to remain one.

That was weeks and weeks ago, Jey still wouldn't join The Judgement Day, he wanted nothing to do with the four of them. Especially Dom and Rhea.

Yet…Jey had let Rhea into his hotel room when she came knocking.

Just as he had two nights before, and almost a dozen more before that.

He knows he shouldn't have, he knows that the first time it happened could've been a mistake if it hadn't continued to happen.

Rhea doesn't give him the chance to deny her, not that he would. She's on him the moment the door clicks shut, and all thoughts of Dom are gone.

Her lips are soft, and she tastes like a tropical drink, that Jey knows the source of is the gum she chews. The flavor she started chewing when she found out it was his favorite. 

He briefly wonders if Dominik has noticed she switched from minty gum, to fruity. 

Rhea senses his distraction, and she isn't at all shy to deepen the kiss, or guide tattooed arms around her waist to ultimately be drawn in closer by.

Jey follows her lead, as he often does when they're in this situation, or ones similar. He loses himself in the kiss, hands trailing from Rhea's waist. Lower, and lower. 

She hums her approval, though the sound is muffled by the sudden shrill of a phone. Her displeasure at being interrupted is obvious in the way she sucks her teeth and fishes for her phone with only one hand.

Once she has the device, the face of Dominik Mysterio flashes on the screen. Rhea tenses, but the hand in Jey's hair, the hand he has no recollection of how it got there, scratches gently at his scalp.

Clearing her throat, Rhea answers, her tone gives nothing away, even if she sounds slightly breathless, 

"I'm a little busy, Dom-Dom. Is everything okay?"

Jey can't hear Dominik's reply, but Rhea frowns at whatever he says, nodding despite not being seen by the younger. 

"I'll be back downstairs in a bit, can't it wait?" 

Their eyes lock, and Rhea smiles at him.

It's a warm smile. Inviting. Unlike the smirks she wears on TV, this is a thing reserved for only a few. Jey knows as much, because he's seen her smile at Dominik, Damian and Finn similarly.

"We can come down now then, Dom. I wanted to actually ask him before dragging him with me, but if you're so eager…"

Jey's ears start ringing with the uncertainty that courses through him at her words. 

His confusion must show on his face, because Rhea is cupping his cheek and nodding lightly. 

What she's nodding at, he doesn't know. All he knows is he feels slightly sick, and like the earth was just upended in front of him.

Before long, Rhea is hanging up the phone and drawing his attention back to her.

"I'll be straightforward, because you look like you're about to throw up, baby."

"Don' call me that right now…" He curses himself for how weak his voice comes out.

Logically, Jey knew this thing with Rhea was merely sex, even if she looked at him like she could truly love him. Like she could want him in a way that was more than blowing off steam.

Sometimes they'd embrace after everything was done, and she'd tell him about her day, mindlessly tracing his tattoos and leaving kisses along his bare skin.

Those intimate moments usually went unbroken for hours before Rhea would have to sneak away once more.

It never dawned on him just how much his time with her meant to him, or how much he'd grown to rely on her presence. He hadn't realized he'd caught feelings for her.

Not that any of it would ever matter.

"Hey, come back to me, Sweet Face. I can explain, just let me, yeah?"

Her accent is thicker than usual, her bare face giving away the emotions she tries so hard to mask in the public. 

Jey nods his head, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he does.

[tequiilasunriise]

"Blake, are your parents dating my mom?"

"...Meow."

@min3nc's post about Snowleopard ripped open the Pandora Box that is some of my headcanons about this throuple (and the subsequent Bellaschneeblings interactions in my post here) so sit tight y'all this list is gonna be long because I absolutely adore this healthy bi4bi4bi poly pilf couple that foils whatever the fuck Divorce Mcgees Summer, Raven, n Tai had going on (don't get me wrong, I adore str-crossed lovers, especially whatever the fuck Rosebird had, but cmon you could power a small nation off of their Divorce Energy alone)

-They have zero in-canon interactions but the thought of Willow slowly healing and learning to love again from two characters shown to be incredibly sweet and patient and understanding and oh so gentle and tender and earnest? Guys this alone should sell you on the ship like!! LIKE!!!

-WILLOW HEALING FROM HER ABUSIVE MARRIAGE TRAUMA WITH THE HEALTHIEST COUPLE!! GHIRA AND KALI TAG TEAMING TO VALIDATE AND SMOTHER THE SHIT OUTTA THIS ENDEARING MILF WITH SO MUCH LOVE AND SUPPORT!!!

-Takes a deep breath. Wowie. Do y'all get it though do y'all understand the vision?

-I need me vulnerable Willow asking the Pilfadonnas fer parenting advice and the pair to be more than happy to help their girlfriend just so eager to help!! They're so reassuring and tender with her, making sure she doesn't feel like a terrible shit fer asking fer help about this like, "Oh, oh sweetheart. You've been through so much, and it's a good thing you're fighting fer your second chance to be the mother your children need and deserve. It's alright, darling, we're right here with you."

-Furthermore, Willow would feel so much guilt eating at her for her ex-husband's crimes against the Faunus as a whole and the Pilfadonnas, the leaders of the Faunus themselves, would help talk through her guilt and affirm that Willow is not to blame fer bullshit Jacques pulled and help her with the process of finding a good therapist like like like!!! There's so much shit here guys!!!

-"It was by marrying me that Jacques gained access to the resources tied to the Schnee name and carved out the world. I didn't do anything to stand up to him and stop him from ruining my family's name, and so by doing nothing I'm a part of his sins."

"....Babygirl we love you so much but there's SO MUCH wrong to unpack here."

-Also Willow deserves to be bisexually panicked by two hot cat people bc I said so she just deserves okay trust trust trust

-Anyways, the Schneeblings are mad sus of the Pilfadonnas at first because they ALLLLL know what kinda abusive bullcrap their mom went through in her dead marriage with Jackass Schnee but all eventually coming around to really love Ghira's and Kali's seemingly endless unconditional love (Weiss was the quickest to adapt, then Winter, and finally little Whitley)

-The Pilfadonnas are so sweet and loving to their new kids and see 'em as their own straight up but don't pressure any typa connection and respect the Schneeblings so much like, "I would prefer just Kali, but if calling me Ms. Belladonna makes you more comfortable then go right ahead sweetheart" LIKE THEYRE JUST THE BEST STEPARENTS EVER SO MUCH VALIDATION AND PATIENCE AND SWEETNESS!!!

-"Chieftain Ghira, sir, it's good to see you."

"Winter, while I won't stop you from calling me by that title if that's what makes you the most comfortable, you don't have to be so strict with yourself. There's no need to address me like you're a military subordinate, sweetheart."

"...I would die for you, sir."

"Oh! Um! I'm very grateful for that, but, uh, let's also not huh? Wouldn't want you dying anytime soon ahahahaaa."

"You're right, sir, the Maiden powers should not be so carelessly tossed around."

".....Alright so we're going to go find you a good therapist and start working on your sense of personhood-"

-The Pilfadonnas introduce the concept of therapy and healthier coping mechanisms to all of the Schnees REALNESS

-"But OP wouldn't Weiss already have learned that from her super supportive friends?" Weiss' found family is incredible but healthy coping mechanisms are NOT part of that package deal holy shit hypertraumatized child soldiers left and righttt baby

-Anyways, one time Whitley slipped and accidentally called Ghira "Hey dad-" and everyone FROZE before Whitley rushed his question and then ran the f u c k off as Ghira started wiping tears with Kali holding him close and Willow being so emotional at the her son finally has a solid, good father figure in his life oMG HES STARTING TO ACCEPT THE PILFADONNAS!!!

-Eventually, the Schneeblings graduate to calling the Pilfadonnas just Kali and Ghira (and Blake calling Willow by her first name was already established back when she was crashing Schnee Manor in V8 so we chilling) but Whitley, oh my heart, sometimes slips with a 'mama' or 'dad' to his stepparents and down the line he even stops getting embarrassed over it and GOSH does it melt the Pilfadonnas' hearts everytime he calls 'em that it doesn't matter if it's the tenth or the hundredth time they're sosossooo soft

-One time Weiss was practicing her fencing stances and didn't realize the Pilfadonnas were watching her, and then when they started to praise how amazing her swordsmanship is? Babygirl actually starts to cry a little because it was always, "You need to be faster, Schnees aren't supposed to be so slow" and "What would your grandfather say if he saw such sloppy forms? Again!" and never, "Oh, Weiss, honey, you were wonderful out there! You must have trained very hard to be so good!"

-If you give any of the Schneeblings a fucken shred of unconditional praise they will crumple faster than a stale cookie. On a daily basis, Weiss jokes and asks Blake how the FUCK did she not end up more well-adjusted (she knows about the bullshit with Adam but Weiss also knows that Blake is aware she's just messing around)

-So we've established some headcanons of the Schneelings interacting with the Pilfadonnas, but hear me out awkward as fuck Blake and Willow interactions bc Willow has NO IDEA how to interact with her daughter's teammate turned stepdaughter???

-Because, you know, "Oh uh hey my ex-husband exploited and abused the shit out the Faunus for years on end and you were one of the people heavily affected to the point where you, as a literal child, turned to a life of vigilante terrorist justice as a form of fighting back for your own basic rights"

-Blake, like her parents, completely understand that Willow had nothing to with Jackass' cruelty and instead gives her new stepmom an easy smile and starts talking small talk about Weiss' adventures with Team RWBY and!! Yeah!! Willow genuinely wants to know what's been going on in her daughter's life since she was so absent from it during her alcoholic days

-The pair bond over a shared loved of Weiss, and at one point Willow says, "If it isn't overstepping, can I just say I am truly fortunate that Weiss has someone like you in her life to support her" and Blake chuckles softly and replies, "It wasn't easy at first, but yeah, I'm glad she's in my life too" AND ARGAGRGRHRH THE BONDINGGGG

-Speaking of bonding, imagine the Pilfadonnas vibing with Klein and bonding over tea together, and seeing their adoptive dad figure Klein vibe with their new steparents may or may not have sped up Whitley and Winter warming up to the Pilfadonnas justttt a litttttlleee

-When Kali and Ghira see their stepkids flinch at loud voices or innocently raised hands, when they notice the low self-esteem Winter still carries or Whitley's facade of maturity so that adult figures actually acknowledge him, in front of the kids they're very respectful and apologetic of accidental triggers without being patronizing, but when they're alone? Straight fucking murder in their eyes. The Pilfadonnas are fucken e n r a g e d they're fucken seething because how dare Jackass Schnee hurt these sweet kids so fucking much

-They make sure neither the Schneeblings nor Willow are around when they let out their furious vents to each other absolutely slandering Jackass' name with clenched fists and bared fangs because they don't want their anger to trigger anyone but yeahhhh. Yeah, if Jacques is still out there we're adding two bisexual cat pilfs to the waiting list fer ripping his head off

-ANYWAYS, on a lighter note, can y'all imagine the Belladonnas are vibing and purring together all comfy and shit and the Schnees see them and are like, "Shit man they're so HEALTHY and FUNCTIONAL what the HECK??"

-Blake groaning, "Dadddddd!!" when her dad pulls up with family albums to talk about his precious daughter's childhood and, "Not you too mom!!!" when Kali excitedly joins in. As Blake is play wrestling with her parents to get the photobooks away, the Schnees are just witnessing this in various levels of amused but also kinda like, "Damn wow is this what a healthy family's supposed to look like dannggg that's crazzzzzyyyyyyyy"

-Vacations to Menagerie where the Belladonnas playfully make fun of their sunburnt as all hell white family members, and even though some Faunus are wary of the visiting Schnees, others are more open to giving these guys a chance and hey!! Turns out the SDC is actually going to be a good company after the shit Jacques Schnee pulled. Imagine the healing between Faunus relations and the Schnee family name when Willow and her kids pull up to help wherever and however they can

-I'm just saying family dinners would be so healthy and healing fer Willow and her kids after years filled with so many isolated, lonely, suffocating as hell dinners when Jacques still walked these halls. Instead of stiff etiquette and barbed questions throw their way by a spiteful bitchass with a clip-on tie, there's warm laughter and jovial banter thrown about; genuine inquires about their day/interests that lead to invested conversation and freely given praise; large, beaming smiles from three dark color-schemed people who radiantly glow like the sun. It's like the Belladonnas breathed back life into the hollowed out Schnees who barely survived all the different ways jackass had hurt them, and that's just so fucken lovely to think about

[hiis-theme]

somewhere out there is an alternate timeline where toby was correct and people actually did hate spamton. could you imagine that. i have to imagine we wouldn't have gotten the spamton sweepstakes in that case which is crazy to think about given how much lore that gave us-

[nonbinary-octopus]

so, I was just using bad weather as a plot device when I got an alert similar to the ones that had given me the idea, and....

it happened to line up just right so that when I took a screenshot of the alert guess what was perfectly positioned in the background

[misshell99]

Tomorrow I will be with my three partners back in Colorado for the first time in a month. I miss them all so dearly, especially my nesting partner Wally. I’m gonna cry so much at Chloe and Noa’s wedding I’m so in love.

[quarks-pussy]

Love it when there's a perfectly ordinary m/f couple and then comes along a horny little slutman and they just invite him into their marriage

[the-muppet-joker]

Error sans is the worst sans because he's fucking ugly change my mind.

[nonbinary-eddie-munson]

I was thinking about how the run away with me au Robin and Steve "should we get divorced?" conversation comes about:

Theyre about 23 and Robin comes home in tears after another break up. The reason: Robin had asked her girlfriend of 8 months, Lorraine to move in with her and steve. Lorraine assumes this means steve is moving out and when Robin clarifys that no Steve is staying, he's an important part of her life theyre married for chists sake. Well Lorraine doesnt take that well, says she isnt going to spend her life playing second fiddle to Steve.

This isnt the first time a relationship had ended for either of them because a partner hadnt been able to accept that Steve and Robin were a package deal. Things had been especially rough for them romantically in the first couple years of their marriage. It wasnt until a particularly awful screaming match between Robin, Steve and Steves first real boyfriend, that they were able to admit their relationship was incredibly codependent and unhealthy. Steves boyfriend had been upset when Steve had cancelled on him for the 3rd time in a row because of a Robin Emergency™️ and decided to confront Robin about it while Steve was in class. Things escalated quickly when Steve came home early from class to find them arguing and immediately took Robins side. The argument and Steves relationship ended with a slammed door, a lot of tears and a new rift in Robin and Steves relationship.

It took a lot of long conversations with Carina and Marjorie, Steve working through his toxic masculinity enough to go see a therapist - He and Robin made a deal that theyd both go talk to someone about, you know almost dieing "do you think me being fucked up by what happened at starcourt makes me weak steve?" "No of course not!" "Well then why would it make you weak?" - and a summer spent apart (Robin taking an internship in rome to study latin) for them to sit down and have a long conversation about boundaries and ground rules for how they would navigate their relationship as well as dating in the future.

Steve and Robin agreed to both take a break from dating while they worked through their respective traumas, and figured out how to navigate their relationship in a healthy way. Things werent easy, the both of them occasionally backsliding into unhealthy behaviors, more than a few nights where one of them spent the night with Carina and Marjorie in order to have space from eachother. But eventually they get their shit figured out and decide to brave the world of dating again. Steve and Robin both have their share of flings and short lived relationships but nothing so far seemed to stick. That is until Robin met Lorraine.

Lorraine was funny, sweet and a little bitchy. They had immediately clicked after being introduced by some mutual friends from school. Robin really thought things with Lorraine were going to work out. Steve and Lorraine had gotten on like a house on fire, she had slipped into Robin and Steves dynamic easily, trading jokes and light hearted jabs, cooking breakfast together on days Lorraine would stay at their apartment. Robin had fallen hard and fast, she thought she had finally found someone who accepted that her and Steve were a package deal. So 8 months in when Lorraines lease was ending Robin (with agreement from steve) asked Lorraine to move in. Things don't go to plan. Robins dreams of a future with lorraine are shattered. She goes home broken hearted.

After Robin has cried herself out, her and steve cuddled together on the couch Steve is the one to broach the topic. Robin immediately bursts back into tears before he calms her back down again saying he doesnt want a divorce but he also doesnt want to hold Robin back, doesnt want to be the reason she cant find happiness. Robin replys by saying if anyone is holding the other back its obviously her, steve gave up everything to protect her afterall. Steve calls bullshit -years of therapy and he can finally say that word without cringing- says he would do it all again in a heartbeat, that she doesn't owe him anything. They stay up all night talking about it, about what the both of them want from their futures. Neither can see a future without the other. they're platonic life partners, one day they'll find their someones who can accept that and if not well, they'll always have eachother.

Of course they do find their someones in the form of a charming if infuriating metal head and a brilliant, sweet, and badass reporter. Through trial and error the four of them figure out how to navigate life together. They all live happy ever after.

Robin and Steve celebrate 30 years of marriage with divorce papers. They'll always love eachother but now they dont need a marriage to keep eachother safe. They dont need a marriage to stay as platonic life partners. They have eachother and they have Eddie and Nancy. They have everything they need.

-

Lmk what you think! I'd love to have someone to scream with about this AU and bounce ideas off of :D

Tagging by request <3 @ramyayaya

[crimeronan]

very fond of the concept of camila and princess/empress luz reuniting & camila being Very Fucking Aware that terrible things have happened in this empire because she's met vee & being really cautious with luz because she's like i know you probably don't even think of me as your mama anymore but like please for the love of god can i give you guidance

she'd realize pretty quickly that luz is trying to undo basically everything that the empire has done & then be like ......hm.

i think luz would be extremely cautious with her because she hasn't seen camila since she was like four years old, this woman IS functionally a stranger to her. but eventually (possibly after Years) she has a sobbing breakdown akin to the one in thanks to them where she crawls into camila's bed and is like "why aren't you mad at me," except here she's just confessing to killing belos and blurting out what happened with hunter and going "you must be so mad you must think i'm a monster"

and despite the circumstances being so much uglier and more violent, camila responds p much Just like she does in the canon. no baby you did so good. you did your best and you've always cared about doing the right thing. i'm so sorry i wasn't there to protect you. because if i had been i'd've killed him like a decade ago YOU DID SO GOOD

like. it's funny but it's also. wah

[spiritsong]

day twelve: romance

#Veilguard30 by @pavus · writing prompt

word count: 2.4k Hawke, who typically has trouble talking about her feelings, has an impromptu heart-to-heart with Isabela. (details: mage red hawke / fenris rivalmance / post night terrors, pre act 2 questioning beliefs, pre a bitter pill) bonus: I made an illustration of what happens right after this fic for today's veiltober prompt, which you can see here! continue below, or read on ao3.

The still shipless pirate captain pushed open the heavy creaking door, stepping into the tavern she had called home for the last few years. The air was heavy with the scent of ale, smoke, and the odor of laborers and drunkards. She deftly navigated past heavily stained tables and crates that served as seats and people with no spatial awareness, all the while careful not to trip over the places where the planked floor turned to dirt patches. 

It was a busy night, though she recognized most of the faces as regulars; others like her who found solace from the chaos of Kirkwall in the seediest of locations. She recognized one figure seated next to her usual spot at the Hanged Man’s bar; that was an unusual sight. 

“Hawke?” Isabela greeted with curiosity as she approached. “Fancy seeing you here.” 

“Fuck off.” Ferru Hawke didn’t bother to lift her head from the cradle of her folded arms. She blinked in her little bowl of darkness and waited for the sound of Isabela’s retreating footsteps, already knowing it wouldn’t come. 

Isabela, long unfazed by Hawke’s prickliness, made herself comfortable on the stool beside her. She noted the half-full tankard of ale beside Hawke, alongside an empty one that had been unceremoniously tossed to the side. 

Ferru begrudgingly lifted her head, squinting miserably even in the relative low light of the tavern. Her rust-colored eyes shifted towards Isabela.

Isabela stared back, the usual air of nonchalance all around her, though she studied all of Hawke’s overt and subtle mannerisms in a way that only a sharp-eyed rogue could. 

“I thought you didn’t drink,” Isabela commented as she waved a pointed finger at Corff, the barkeep, signaling for one order of her usual. 

Ferru snatched her mug and drained the remainder of its contents, licking the sour ale off her upper lip as she slammed the mug back down. “I don’t.”

Isabela pursed her lips at the response, then rested one elbow on the bar top, cradling her head in her hand as she turned her body fully towards Hawke. Hawke, on the other hand, continued to stare pointedly forward, gaze mostly obscured by the choppy locks of jet-black hair that fell in front of her face. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong, or do I need to spend the night poking at you until you finally bite?” Isabela asked. “I’d recommend the first option. It would save us both a lot of time.”

“It’s Fenris,” Ferru forced through gritted teeth, with much of the same agony that might accompany the voice of a man suffering through an amputation. 

“Ah.” Isabela couldn’t keep the corners of her lips from curling up into a small smile, though she was blessedly able to wipe it from her face before Hawke’s eyes darted back to her, full of suspicion. 

“I don’t understand him. He’s entirely unknowable.” The words came out quietly at first, though the frustration was evident in the way that Hawke’s fists curled up tightly atop the bar. “I think things are okay, I think I have things figured out, and then—”

Hawke’s mouth snapped shut as the barkeep arrived with Isabela’s drink. 

“Another one, Corff,” Hawke said, pointing at her empty tankards. 

He gave Isabela a weary look. “Is it just me, or is she more of an ass than usual tonight?”

“Hey! I’ve always been good to you, Corff,” Hawke cut in, then slumped, arms folded across her middle as she stewed in her feelings.  

Isabela shrugged with some amusement, then whispered loudly to Corff, “Boy problems.”

“Isabela,” Hawke growled.

The woman ignored the daggers being shot in her direction as she flashed a dazzling smile at Corff. “Well, you heard her.”

The barkeep grumbled something under his breath as he went to tend to Hawke’s order.

“And then…?” Isabela coaxed once he was out of earshot.

For a moment, it seemed that Hawke had bared enough of her heart for the night, but then she let out a heavy sigh. “I think he hates me. No, he despises me.”

“And that would be so bad because…?” Isabela knew she was pushing it with the leading questions, but she had a very particular feeling that tonight of all nights, Hawke would let her guard down. 

She wasn’t disappointed.

“Because… well, because— I like him,” Ferru said pitifully. 

She had never said it out loud until this point. Maker’s breath, she had hardly even admitted it to herself. She felt some of the ache in her chest leave her with the words, but they tumbled out of her painfully, catching in her throat, reluctant to be seen in the light of day. 

The confession relieved her in the way that setting a dislocated shoulder might relieve her. The way that vomiting up her insides after a night of drinking might relieve her, as she might be doing in her near future.

Isabela elected to stay quiet this time, waiting for Hawke to fill the silence.

“But it’s pointless. We don’t get along.” Ferru rubbed roughly at her face, trying to get herself to snap out of whatever this was. She pushed her hair off her forehead, and it all flopped back into place — more unkempt, less effortless. 

She sighed. “I went to talk to him tonight, to see how he was doing after what happened with Feynriel. You know he blames me for what happened in the Fade? Me? I wasn’t the one who turned against him.”

Ferru laughed humorlessly. “Very naive of me. I thought he was going to apologize.” 

“Fenris has a lot on his mind, what with Danarius’s thugs lurking around town,” Isabela offered.

“I know that!” she snapped, then sunk further down onto her stool with another sigh, body folding over as though it were finally giving out beneath the weight of the world.

“Is there no one else that catches your eye? Anders? You two get along just fine.” 

Ferru shook her head. “Anders is special to me, but it’s not like that. In another world… but I’ll always be something more than what I truly am to him.”

Isabela kicked her feet up onto Hawke’s lap. There was always a nonzero chance that Hawke might toss them off of her when Isabela did this, but it seemed far too much plagued her friend’s mind tonight for her to care. 

“Merrill, then? You’re different around her, softer to her in a way that you aren’t with anyone else. We’ve all noticed.”

“No, she’s more like a sister to me. She’s my responsibility. I have to protect her.” Ferru hiccuped right at the end of her solemn declaration.

“I hate to break it to you, dear, but Merrill doesn’t need protecting. She needs a friend.” Isabela’s voice was both tender and resolute; Ferru knew how much Merrill meant to her. 

“Hmm,” Isabela wondered playfully, turning her head to scan their seedy surroundings. “How about the Hanged Man’s resident dwarf?”

Ferru let out a short bark of laughter. “Varric is Varric,” she said, as though that was all the explanation that was needed. 

A conniving smile grew on Hawke’s face; it was the first Isabela had seen that night, and she privately praised herself for finally drawing it out.

“And besides, what about you?” Hawke put on a higher-pitched voice than her naturally deep, gravelly one. It sounded nothing like Isabela. “Oh, Varric, I want nothing more than to fondle your hairy bosoms. Please, please, please let me dive in between those plush pillows.”

Isabela grinned, her warm gaze twinkling with amusement. “What, you’re telling me you don’t?”

“That’s besides the point,” she replied. 

Corff finally returned with a fresh tankard, which Hawke took swiftly from his hand before he could set it down on the bar. She tipped her head back and let the swill wash down her throat. It was disgusting. 

In one graceful movement, Isabela lifted her feet off Hawke’s lap and shifted her weight forward to lean obtrusively into Hawke’s space. With an obnoxiously calculated tilt of her head, her next question was deployed in that very particular way that Isabela excelled at. 

“And me?”

As predicted, Hawke’s gaze fell first on the slope of Isabela’s breasts, the stark white of her loosely laced tunic standing in contrast to her beautiful brown skin. Then there was the ample rings of gold that circled the long line of her neck, her full lips, the coy look leveled back at her—

This all happened in the space of just two seconds, but Hawke, who was mid-sip, choked on her drink as she met Isabela’s eyes. 

Even against the richness of her skin, a deep flush started to bloom on Hawke’s cheeks. Satisfied, Isabela leaned back and laughed heartily.

“You’re far too annoying,” Hawke grumbled. 

For the second time that night, Isabela congratulated herself; as far as she was aware, no one else could draw a blush out of Hawke in the way that she did. It was actually quite a point of pride for her. 

“I don’t want anyone else, Isabela. I want him.” It made Ferru’s stomach turn just to say it. 

Isabela let her voice grow serious again as she asked, “What is it about him?”

“He’s unlike anyone else I’ve ever met.” Ferru’s voice was nearly a whisper. Her eyes traced the wood grain of the bar, conspicuously ignoring the very discerning, very unnerving gaze of her friend. “He’s so stubborn, and infuriating, and incredibly misguided… and entirely without pretense.”

“The stormy eyes and tight physique certainly don’t hurt, either,” the pirate captain said, all matter-of-fact, punctuating her assessment with a sip of her drink. 

“Isabela,” Ferru groaned. 

There was a long silence between the two before Ferru spoke again. 

“He… sees me. I don’t have to be the hardened criminal looking out for Lowtown, or the shrewd businessman with their Deep Roads riches, or the political schemer who has the ear of the viscount, or the rebel mage freedom fighter, or the hero. I can just be… me, in all my ugliness. And he doesn’t turn away.”

Ferru immediately grew embarrassed as soon as she finished, but couldn’t stop herself from publicly wallowing in her misery. Even more than she already had, anyway.

“I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before he does, though,” she lamented. “We have more fights than we do civil conversations. Or at least it feels like it. You’d be better for him— you’re more his type. A hot-blooded woman.”

Isabela crooked an eyebrow at Hawke. “And what does that make you?”

“A nasty weed that won’t die no matter how many times you cut it down.”

“Weeds are flowers to some. It’s a matter of perspective.”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Merrill,” Hawke rolled her eyes. “There are no flowers here to speak of. Plenty of spikes and thorns, though. Could probably give you a rash if you look at me wrong.”

Isabela snorted and took a swig of her drink, and Ferru did the same.

“Look at the way you two get along,” Ferru said.

“How is that?”

“He just seems calmer and happier around you. He doesn’t get pissed off at every other word you say or action you take. You’re not a mage,” Ferru spat the word out in the way that they had all heard Fenris do a thousand times before. “The other day, when he asked you about freedom for mages— he was far more receptive than he’s ever been with me. When we talk, it ends in explosive arguments.”

In a show of frustration and stunning melodrama, Ferru slammed her head down onto the bar.

Isabela chuckled. “Oh, Hawke. If I had even a small chance with Fenris, he would be wrapped around my finger by now.”

The annoyance emanating from Hawke was palpable, even in the thick miasma of the Hanged Man. “What do you mean,” she said, more of a demand and less of a question.

The pirate captain leaned into Hawke’s space again, this time to force her to meet her gaze.

“The reason your conversations always end up like that is because he’s mad for you,” Isabela said incredulously. “He’s so mad for you he doesn’t know what to do with himself. You challenge everything he’s ever believed in, and he isn’t sure where that leaves him.” 

She sat back up. “Now, whether this will end up anywhere half-decent for either of you remains to be seen. But don’t doubt that he cares for you.”

Hawke blinked, mouth opening and closing as she struggled to parse out Isabela’s words. “You’re insane.”

Isabela shrugged with some irritation now that her patience was running thin. “Believe me, don’t believe me, it makes little difference to me.”

Ferru rose quickly on her feet, then was hit with such a wave of unsteadiness that left her gripping on the edge of the barstool. Once the world stopped spinning, she wagged a finger at Isabela.

“This is why I don’t drink, because you try to weasel your way into my head and confuse me with your— your weasley ways,” she accused.

Isabela laughed. “Sweetheart, you did that all by yourself with your two and a half drinks.” 

Hawke leveled a nasty glare at her. “If you speak of this to anyone, I will kill you.”

“You’re yammering in the Hanged Man, Hawke. Half of Lowtown will know by the morning.”

Hawke’s gaze immediately scanned across the room. Isabela didn’t need to look to know what kind of effect it would have on the patrons of the Hanged Man; the chorus of shifting noises that followed said enough. 

“Ruling by fear works, too,” Isabela knocked back the last of her drink and stood up, making her way towards Hawke who was heading for the door. 

“Oh, no, I’m not letting you stumble all the way up to Hightown like this,” she said, resting her hands firmly on Hawke’s shoulders. “Someone is bound to end up dead. And even I know that we don’t need that sort of drama in our lives at the moment.” 

“Well, I’m not letting you walk me home,” Ferru said pointedly. 

Isabela huffed. “Well, screw you, too.”

Ferru spun clumsily on her feet and started making her way to the back of the tavern, where the rooms were located. “I’ll crash with Varric.”

Without looking back, she gave a half-hearted wave to Isabela behind her. “Love you, Isabela.”

“Love you, too, Hawke,” she said back, incapable of maintaining her irritation as she watched her typically fearsome friend trip over her own feet.

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

i know that when carlo suddenly decided that he needs to marry guy made a whole list in his head n like had a deadlines n shit. like it was some kind of a task he needed to do

[jrueships]

who would you most like to read jrue being paired with in a fic?

Me .

[thebluestbluewords]

the problem with writing the fic about Jane’s recipe blog is that I desperately want to include my real favorite recipes in it!! Which would be so fun, because I genuinely enjoy baking and cook for myself almost every night, so I have a bunch of good recipes that could work for the fic.

Unfortunately, I forget sometimes (because I only cook for two people) that my cooking is….unsettlingly allergy friendly. Yes, it’s all gluten free. Sure, every single thing can be subbed out for non-dairy alternatives, and we often make them that way! Eggs are a little bit harder, but a ton of my baking recipes can use banana or applesauce with a little baking powder as a substitute for the moisture and leavening of a genuine egg.

Just…..I forget that not everyone is dealing with 3-5 food allergies at all times when baking for themselves and their friends.