#you know what? i actually really like these helmets
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always and (not) forever - ʀᴀꜰᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴇʀᴏɴ.
PAIRING : rafe cameron x reader
SUMMARY : rafe breaks up with you right after you get accepted to stanford university.
WARNING(S) : angst, swearing, not really proofread
A/N : can you tell i just watched to all the boys: always and forever? (divider by @roseraris )
WC : 0.7k
masterlist.
Your heart’s pounding more and more as you click on the email you just got.
It’s late at night, only the crickets outside accompanying your growing emancipation. You squeeze the hem of your pajama shirt, biting your lip almost to blood.
This is the moment you’ve been waiting for forever— the week of acceptance letters from Stanford.
You can’t really remember when exactly you decided that a university across the whole country was good for you. It just… happened.
Your boyfriend, Rafe, wasn’t particularly excited for you to study so far away since he wanted to go to the one in-state. You managed to convince him that you’ll be well.
The email is long, but after the first words, you don’t even bother reading more. You got in.
A scream escapes your lips, quickly muffled by your hands. You sit there wide-eyed, the faint light of your laptop’s screen falling on your face.
“Oh my God.”
You immediately grab your phone, trembling fingers dialing Rafe’s number. He answers faster than the first ding.
“What’s up, baby?” His voice’s a little raspy and low as if he was falling asleep.
“I got into Stanford,” you whisper, the words feeling unreal once they leave your mouth. “Can you believe it, Rafe?”
There’s a silence, followed by a hum. “That’s… great. I mean, you’re happy, right?”
“Yeah, of course!”
There’s a silence— a moment where you can let your emotions cool off a bit, followed by Rafe clearing his throat.
“Actually… Can we meet?”
You knit your eyebrows. His voice is steady but distant. Something you haven’t heard in a while. “Like, right now?”
Rafe hums in response, and you feel the confusion bubbling up. “Well, if you want to you can come over, but be quiet. My parents are asleep.”
“I’ll be there in five.”
You hang up the phone, your hand lingering as you glance at the laptop screen.
Was Rafe overthinking this whole ‘distance’ thing once again?
You’ve already told him a million times that it will work out. So why the sudden change of mind?
You slip your feet into your slippers and grab a hoodie you throw on on the stairs.
The light from Rafe’s motorcycle flashes through the windows, a quiet buzz filling the natural silence. You quickly open the door and get outside, a chilly breeze hitting your bare legs.
“What’s wrong?” You ask, crossing your arms on your chest.
Rafe takes off his helmet and looks at the ground. “I think we should break up before you go to Stanford.”
You grimace, scrunching your nose. “What are you talking about? Rafe, we’ve been through this. I know it’s hard to be this long distance, but we can do it—”
“No.” The word comes out of his mouth so quickly, you gasp under your breath. “Honestly, how do you see that? Going from what we are now, from me getting to your door in five fucking minutes to seeing each other once God knows how much time?”
“But… you agreed to that earlier…”
“I was wrong,” Rafe says as quietly as a whisper, his voice cracking. “I’m not going to watch it all fall apart in two, four, or even six months. It’s better if we just end it now.”
You squeeze your arms and clench your jaw so tight it almost hurts.
How dare he just stand there, not even looking at you, as your life seems to split in two?
“Don’t say that, Rafe. You don’t mean it…” You say, your voice is small, but you know better than this. Rafe doesn’t just say things.
“I do.”
Two words. Those two words were enough to let the tears pushing onto your eyelids fall.
“Are you serious? After all we’ve been through, you leave me because of some stupid belief that we will not make it?” You sigh, anger spilling out with each breath you take.
“Go, Rafe. I don’t want to see your face.”
He inhales sharply as if you just slapped him. Maybe you should’ve done that. Instead, you turn on your heels and storm into the house, not giving Rafe another glance.
All you hear is the engine running, and the quiet sound of your heart breaking.
taglist :
@amterasuu
#mayanneaa#outer banks#obx#outerbanks#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe fluff#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron#rafe fanfiction#rafe x reader#rafe fic#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron ff#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron obx#rafe obx#obx rafe cameron#outer banks x reader#outer banks fanfiction#obx x reader#outerbanks rafe#rafe imagine#rafe outerbanks#university#college#stanford university#sarah cameron
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k i need to share this theory cause grrr there’s something about lando that actually gives me a little bit of a ick and i need to share. since we’re all friends right? 🫠
it’s his house.
NO WALK WITH ME. Because i’m speaking from what we’ve seen from the quadrant videos and streams. imagine you’ve been dating a few weeks it’s all new and he brings you to his house for the first time. You walk him hoping to get a bit of spice time sexy time. chill around cuddle, you know.
and there’s him everywhere.
NO SERIOUSLY.
he has his helmets EVERYWHERE, paintings about him EVERYWHERE, trophies EVERYWHERE, pictures EVERYWHERE. memorabilia EVERYWHERE.
but to me it’s mostly the paintings, like i get its a nice thing to keep them and he’s super cute because they are probably fan made or something but he’s got SEVERAL in every room. about him. about him in the car. about him on the podiums.
is it just me or it’s a red flag? I don’t know man sounds like boy’s got an ego yeah?
(lando norris pls invite me to your house i can cook i can clean)
Oui, bestie. I get what you’re saying. HOWEVER, I think it depends a lot on how you look at it. Personally, I don’t mind the helmets or trophies and all that stuff. That’s literally his life’s work on display, and I think it’s kind of beautiful. Like, imagine grinding your whole life for something and then feeling weird about celebrating it in your OWN HOME?? AW HELL NAH. He earned that.
And also, man lives alone. He could paint the walls mcl papaya if he wanted, no one’s stopping him ✌🏻😗
Now, the paintings... I hear you, it can get really crowded. If every square inch of his house is covered in artistic tributes to himself, including one hung strategically above the toilet, then yeah, I might PAUSE for a second. I doubt that’s the case, but I need to see for myself hehe 😁
*me outside his building, begging to let me see the inside of his bathroom
Anyway, back to this, the fact that he keeps and cherishes most of them is so sweet 🥺🤍. That means every fan-made painting and every little gift someone took the time to create, actually means something to him.
If he invites you into that space, I think it’s because he trusts you enough to show you the most personal, unfiltered version of himself. And honestly, being surrounded by little pieces of him everywhere you look would probably be the last of your worries, because why pay attention to that when he’s RIGHT THERE 👀
So, I wouldn’t call it a red flag, I’d call it a very human thing. My own place is full of things I’ve achieved, memories I made along the way, and hobbies that make me me. If anything, this is how you’d really get to know him, beyond just the funny guy on mcl’s yt channel, the unhinged dude on twitch, or the driver on your screen.
Don’t get me wrong, he definitely has an ego, but it’s not from the fact that his face is on everything or that his name is everywhere. That’s just a side effect of his job. His ego comes from... other places. But that’s a different conversation ;)
I’m sure that if you end up moving in together, he’s definitely going to make room for your personality too. But until then? Let him have his little Lando museum.
#pit stop asks#answered#ask box#my asks#trashy track tales#f1blr#lando norris#ln4#lnfour#lando norris x you#ln4 x you#lando#lando x you#ln4 x y/n#lando norris x y/n#🎀#lando norris memes#f1 drivers#f1 fandom#f1 stuff#f1#formula 1
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pov goggle v is beating the shit out of you
#sentai#goggle v#you know what? i actually really like these helmets#the whole gem + ancient civilisation motif is literally never important but like#they're nicely distinct from each other and imo very expressive#nutoriously easy to please man likes the silly helmets who would have thought#ok the gems are important once but very early on and for like half a second#anyway get bonked idiot
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ms paint :/ i don't have energy to draw in photoshop like normal so i just opened ms paint big brain moment and below is just some dumb memes
and absolutely cursed thing to end this post - Imri without his helmet. god knows how those curls fit under it
#art#oc#yourenotsupposedtobehere#ynstbh#i mean without helmet he still looks like a creature#i refuse to draw his second eye and i don't know why#repost cuz i posted it from drafts by accident and it bothered me#i like the idea of Imri being really stupid actually and not knowing any social norms. he doesn't know what a hand shake is or that staring#can be considerate rude sometimes. he spent most of his life either alone or with ethereal beings how do you expect him to know how ppl tal
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My Jason Todd meets Venom au is, V gets stuck in an alternate universe and bonds with Jason. It's like, he would be a perfect host, but the Lazarus pit side effects are hostile to symbiotes, something like that. They get by well enough. Red Hood is also a lethal protector, so after a rocky start (being possessed is never a picnic) they get along pretty well!
V: I miss Eddie…..
Jason: I know bud. Do you wanna go eat a rapist? Would that make you feel better?
V: …….yes.
I'm imagining a point in time in which Jason has a truce with the Batfam but doesn't contact them regularly. Most of them are feeling pretty okay about Red Hood and then suddenly he starts turning into a giant monster and eating people. They are freaking the fuck out. Every time one of the bats shows up to check on him Venom is like "these people are bothering you. can we eat them? can we pleeeeeeaaaaaase eat them?" and Jason has to take several deep breaths so that he manage a "no"
#this may be dumb but in my brain their alternate form is called 'Red Venom'#who mostly looks like normal Venom wearing the red hood#like you can tell that is isnt really a helmet. it melds into the rest of his body and is made of the same material#but it looks like an expressionless mask until it splits open and reveals Venom's gaping maw#when venom finally gets back to eddie he won't stop talking about jason and how cool he is#eddie gets sooooooo jealous#until eventually V is like: Jason is Jason. We are Venom. We thought that we liked Jason but if we don't that is okay#and eddie has to be like: no love I'm sorry and I'm glad that you made a friend#transmultiversal playdates where Red Hood and Venom kill a buncha bad guys together ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#dc#batfam#jason todd#venom#venom movie#since i mostly know those characters#eddie brock#dc x marvel#man i don't actually know what tags i should be using#my rambles#oh right#tentatodd#lmao
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ohh I am so ill about him
#9899 artworks#hlvrai#benry hlvrai#i'm really actually in love with him#and i like the idea that tommy puts stickers on his helmet#(or at least he tells people it was tommy but really it was him)#(tommy lets him tell people that)#(but chances are if you see cute stickers anywhere in black mesa they were put there by benry)#sorryyyyy i'm headcanoning#because he's so sillay#and hey!! I shaded clothes for once!#not really the vest but whatever#i figured out what his hair looks like under the helmet too#and his face is wider than the helmet makes it look#i just want to figure out a different expression/outfit for the hair drawing#except i know the outfit bc i've drawn him in it before#it's a playstation hoodie and sweatpants lmao#i was finishing up the coloring and watching house and then suddenly it was 1am so i'm going to sleeeeeep g'night <3
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i genuinely dont understand the sheer cognitive dissonance to be posting about how masks are soooo soooo important for preventing covid (true!) and then NEVER wearing one yourself irl. are you..... looking forward to catching covid? like are you doing it on purpose? idgi
#text#i mask everywhere including outside so dont try to come for me#are you like. hoping that youre going to get exposed and then infect someone?#i cant imagine anyone WANTS to do that except rly insane antivaxxers#like... why post about how everyone should mask if YOU arent going to mask. are you virtue signaling??#do you just want points for posting about it on social media but not want to have to practice what you preach??#do you actually care about getting yourself sick? like ignoring expoisng other people are you genuinely ok getting covid despite-#-knowing in detail all of the really horrible ways it fucks you up?#why would you share information encouraging other ppl to mask and then not be encouraged yourself??#its a level of cognitive dissonance i dont get#posting about how covid can cause brain damage and how to prevent it. and then. not preventing it#like posting a ton of pro-helmet propaganda and then not wearing a helmet. like what is the point
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Read tags at own risk
Very curious if this is a common experience (only answer skeleton if the first 3 don't apply)
#cw: death#my first real brush with what death was was when I was actually on my way from a funeral to the burial of one of my distant relatives#we were stuck in traffic and decided to move to another road to try and get around it#we actually ended up on an intersection we’re the accident happened#it much have happened only minutes prior#it was a crash with a white Honda civic and a motorcycle#the dude on the motorcycle was face down on the ground#his helmet was still in and his shoe was off#the asphalt was even darling around him and on a definite line behind him#I thought it was odd no one was around him#you know like checking on him to make sure we was okay#he was so still#and then my dad who was a police officer at the time said#“oh that guy is dead” and that’s when it hit me#that was the first time I ever realized that death comes for everyone#whether we are old young sick or healthy#it can come for you#I think it made me pretty morbid tbh#though I still get that deep pit in my stomach when thinking about#and I’m really not ready for it yet#I think I’ve mostly accepted that as a part of life#I mean momento mori is a thing for a reason#I think it’s an important reminder#so you can still live and be happy#to do the things you love#cause remember#one day you must die
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recent ffxiv livetweeting. spoilers through the end of arr patch quests btw.
#ffxivposting#suicide mention#I GUESS. SORRY#made this account 90% so i could livepost this game better.#moving off my priv twitter to here bc literally only my irl has access and i know he doesnt gaf. i love u bro<3#and im actually going to die going thru this alone to be honest chat. help#just gave my wol a haircut btw :) working on a new fit also hehehe. she's my favorite.#she doesnt have a name because i put a stupid ass placeholder name because i started playing with my Real Life Family. but shes so cutiepie#keep taking screenshots whenever she looks cute in a cutscene which is often. lovely#btw. im aware t.hancred isnt a gayboy. he's a womanizer. which is kind of a gay thing to be. also stuff did happen to him in arr#and he gets pouty about it sometimes which is funny. rip to this guy. but youknow. lol#like if you think about it it's like man that really blows for you huh? but i cant get a good gauge on how much HE thinks about it. hes too#busy w/ his scorned lovers et cetera. as things go.#where im at now is uh. let me check the msq quest list. somewhere around lvl51 msq. chat i miss flying So Bad i am so slow.#by the way i do know the race names. for the record. that guy is a gay ass Elezen(tm).#also im not trying to bully u.rianger(?spelt like that right?) he's nice. his voice IS funny though.#i have not skipped any of this story. even the parts that sucked total ass and shit. my working knowledge is. Okay.#the patch quests were sooooo rough at the start but at least near the end they started ramping up and i got dragged in.#got to yell at npcs bc they were pissing me off so bad near the end there. quite a fun time.#also starting hw story stuff is really funny when youve been playing drg. like hey! i know you!#also ive been saying his name as 'estinen' the whole time wdym it's 'e.stinien'. i hope he never takes off that helmet btw#anyway. i cannot fucking draw my wol. at all. need to get better refpics later i guess.#speaking of. i am not googling any of these guys to draw them because i dont feel like getting spoiled.#yet another L im taking.my stupid baka life. as they say.#you cant hold anything im saying against me here it's almost midnight. fuck i have class tmrw. what ever#ANYWAY. all that to say. i need to talk to someone abt this shit to be honest.#shrug.
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Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?
Rating: E (MDNI) Words: ~11k Tags: Ghost x f!Reader, Dirtbag!Ghost, strangers -> ???, groping, non-con kissing, coerced consent, oral (F!Receiving), fingering, squirting, piv sex, kidnapping? Summary: A stranger online promises he'll make your parents' Christmas hell, and you're eager to take him up on the offer. You may have bitten off more than you can chew.
<Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?
[casual encounters]
“I am a 35 year old former SAS operator with no A levels, tattoos, and a motorcycle. I can play anywhere from 30 to 40 depending on if I shave. I’m a line cook and I work late nights at my mate’s bar. If you’d like to have me pretend to be in a long term serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I’m game.
I can do these things, at your request:
Openly hit on female guests while you act like you don’t notice
Start instigative discussions about religion and/or politics
Propose to you in front of everyone
Talk at length about my time in the army including what it felt like to kill a man(good or bad your choice)
Pretend to be really drunk as the evening goes on(don’t drink much these days, but I know the drill)
Start an actual, physical fight with a family member, either inside or on the front lawn for all the neighbors to see.
Only pay I want is the free meal and the entertainment.”
-do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
*
RE: “Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?”
From:[email protected]
Is this offer still open?
*
RE: RE: “Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?”
From: [email protected]
Depends how far you want me to travel.
-S
*
RE: RE: RE: “Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?”
From: [email protected]
Any chance you’re in the XXXXX area? I’ll buy you lunch and we can talk details.
*
RE: RE: RE: RE: “Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?”
From: [email protected]
Close enough for a free meal. I’m in XXXX
-S
*
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: “Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?”
From: [email protected]
Let’s meet at Gallery Eats. Also can you send me an ID or something so I know what you look like?
*
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: “Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?”
[attachment] [attachment]
Know you birds get jumpy, send it out to your little friends.
Tuesday 15:30
See you there
-S
*
He’s already at the shop when you get there, scrolling through his phone with his legs spread wide under the little wooden table, a full-face motorcycle helmet taking up more than half of the tiny tabletop.
You hadn’t realized how big the guy would be. Even sitting down he’s massive. You’d bet money he’s over six foot, and he easily eclipses the little cafe chair he’s settled in. His craigslist ad wasn’t lying when it said “tattoos.” The guy’s arms are covered in swirling black ink, and you follow the line of it up to the dark collar of his shirt where it peaks out to creep up his neck. He’s perfect. Your folks will hate him.
Dark eyes meet yours and a smirk creeps over his face, it tugs at a thin scar bisecting his lips.
He stands, and you bee-line for him.
“Thank god you look like your picture.” You huff, settling your bag on the chair across from him.
“That any way ta greet your man?” He grunts, holding a hand out. “Simon.”
You take his hand with a smile, and feel thick fingers wrap around your own. You glance down at the dark seal on the back of his hand, the carefully inked numbers already fading with age spelling out “141.”
“So,” He smiles, leaning so far back in his seat that the chair tips, “How mad are we talkin’?”
*
It turns out Simon’s motorcycle isn’t his only mode of transportation. You roll up to your parents house in a half-wrapped muscle car that Simon claims he’s been “working on” and you can almost smell the distaste radiating off of your folks when they peak through the front window. Simon makes a big show of ignoring you while you try to get the oddly shaped Christmas gifts out of the trunk, lighting a cigarette and checking his phone while you struggle. Finally your parents decide to wander out onto their front step, and your father stalks over to take the bulkier gifts from you while Simon eyes him.
You grin at him, already pleased with his grumbling and glaring at Simon. Simon, for his part, offers a, “Sure it ain’t too heavy old man?” That makes a vein on your father’s temple throb angrily. He ambles after you and your father, and makes a show of giving your mom a once over.
“Sweetheart!” Your mother grimace-smiles at you, “Who is this?”
“This is Simon,” You sigh, leaning against Simon with a dopey smile, “My boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend.” Your mother grits her teeth, “You didn’t say you were bringing a guest.”
“Oh I know, but you can pull up a chair, right?” You gasp, “We’re not messing up your table are we?”
Your mother’s eye twitches. You know her well enough to know she’s already thinking about people bumping elbows at an overcrowded table. You can almost hear your little cousins complain about the lack of space. You also know she’ll never admit her annoyance in front of a guest.
“Of course not.” She smiles tightly, “The more the merrier.” She turns to Simon. “It’s nice to meet you Simon.”
Simon finally takes his cue, tossing his ashy cigarette onto the stone walkway with a flick of his fingers. He exhales nearly into your mother’s face before seemingly remembering last minute that, that’s rude.
“Nice to meet you,” His eyes flick down to your mother’s chest, “Can see where the bird gets ‘er tits from.”
You could scream with laughter the way your mother’s lips tighten into a thin line and her brows twitch down ever so slightly, the picture of barely contained shock and disgust. You can feel your father fuming on the other side of you.
“Why don’t we put presents down?” You chirp, trying to play at oblivious while Simon leers at your mother. She does her best to subtly cross her arms and tug the neck of her sweater closed. “Simon, do you have a hand to help dad?”
“Course, sweet’eart.” He hums, leaning to kiss your temple. A sweet gesture if he didn’t grab a handful of your ass at the same time, angled precisely so you’re sure your dad can see. “Christ you got a fat ass,” He mumbles, his voice low and graveled as he squeezes you again. You feel your cheeks heat in spite of yourself. It’s all pretend, all things you’ve talked about, but that doesn’t stop your body from reacting. His big hand lingers, fingers dragging over your ass as he pushes past your parents into the house. Uninvited.
You ignore your mother’s pointed look under the pretense of juggling presents, pushing into the house after your fake boyfriend.
Simon unceremoniously snatches the gifts from your father as soon as he’s in the house, haphazardly tossing the boxes under the tree while you carefully place your own presents, seemingly ignorant of your boyfriend’s lack of care.
“So how was the drive?” Your dad asks, trying to find something to talk about.
“Bloody awful,” Simon butts in before you can answer, he jerks his head in your direction, “‘ad to listen to the bird’s music the ‘ole time.”
“I thought you liked my music,” You pout.
“When tha fuck ‘ave I ever said that?” He snaps at you. You stifle the flinch and watch Simon’s brows draw down ever so slightly.
When you’d gone through all the details for this he’d told you to try and temper your flinching, assured you that you didn’t need to be scared of him, that if you were dating he’d never lay a hand on you. That didn’t stop his quick, harsh, response from startling you. At least the small crease in his brow made you think he didn’t enjoy the reaction.
“When we first met.” You smile, playing it off.
“And you believed that?” Simon huffs, “Can’t believe I’m the first one to grab ya off the street with ‘ow gullible ya are.”
You blink at him, and turn to hastily cover for him to your dad.
“A consensual grabbing.” You assure him.
“Think I’m still deaf in my right ear from ‘ow loud ya screamed.” Simon grumbles, digging a finger into his ear as if to demonstrate his hearing loss. You feel your cheeks heat reflexively. Even fictional it’s embarrassing to imagine that you might have met a long term serious boyfriend in a kidnapping attempt.
Nevermind that the idea of someone like Simon grabbing you off the street is a major plot point in some of your favorite videos. You try to keep your mind out of the gutter, a difficult task with Simon’s fingers grazing your ass.
“It was a prank.” You continue covering.
“Bet actually.” Simon corrects in an attempt to make things worse. “Seein’ ‘oo could take the prettiest bird ‘ome.” He nudges your dad as if he’s bringing him in on the joke, “Should’ve seen ‘ow much this one struggled, should’ve known she’d be an ‘andful.”
“Your friends sound-” Your dad swallows whatever distaste boils behind his tongue in an effort to keep the peace, “interesting.”
“Served together.” Simon sniffs.
“Oh!” Your father seems to brighten at this new information.
“Lost a lot of good men, but kept all the worst, eh bird?” Simon tosses a smile your way. The playful grin lights up his face, tugs at his scars in a way that’s far too charming.
“Where did you serve?” Your father asks, too eager for war talk.
“Went where I was needed.” Simon grunts. It’s an end to the conversation. You can see your father trying to think of where to go from there, if he should push for a different answer or ask about if Simon enjoyed his time in the service. He settles on exactly what you’re sure Simon was hoping for.
“So what do you do now?”
You almost brace yourself for his answer, and you’re glad for the added tension in your shoulders because it stops you from barking out a laugh.
“Beside fuckin’ the bird?” He doesn’t get another word out before your father growls out a loud.
“Alright-” that your mother cuts off with her well timed, if sudden entrance.
“Your aunt is on her way,” She informs you, “She’s excited to meet your boyfriend.”
“You got a lot of people comin’ ta this thing?” Simon asks, as if you hadn’t given him a full guest list.
“Just a few,” Your mother smiles, “my sister lives nearby so she’ll be bringing her boys.”
“Would’ve been nice ta know there were brats comin’ ta this thing,” Simon gives you a look and you pout.
“I told you this was a family thing.” You remind him.
“Didn’t know ya had so much family,” He sniffs, “Brother isn’t comin’ ta this too is ‘e?”
You have to stop yourself from grinning at the family landmine Simon so perfectly walked into.
“Henry doesn’t come to family functions anymore,” Your mother tells him curtly.
“Heard ‘e got tired of havin’ you scare off ‘is girls,” Simon grins, “thought you’d be a bigger bitch.” You choke. You mother’s gaze whips to you and you carefully go about adjusting the presents under the tree just so you don’t have to look at her.
“Well I don’t know where you heard that,” The high note in your mother’s voice betrays her, the faux-calmness barely covering the boiling anger that’s starting to show, “but it’s not true.”
“Are you callin’ me a liar,” Simon’s voice takes an icy note in response and you glance over your shoulder to watch him roll his shoulders back. You can see the way his musculature moves even under his jumper. The threat is palpable, and also completely inappropriate for the situation.
He’s good at this.
It’s your father’s turn to diffuse the situation.
“You a footie fan?” He asks, because he’s ass at calming your mother (or anyone else) down. You can practically feel Simon’s attention shift, like the air in the room has to adjust to the pressure he exerts.
“City.” Simon huffs. You dad grins, and you know exactly what he’s going to say. Playful ribbing that somehow always ends in a screaming match.
“Manchester boy, eh? Ya find it hard losin’ to Liverpool all the time or do ya get used to it?” Your father jokes. The question hangs dead in the air. Simon hasn’t moved a muscle, so still it scares even you, and you know it’s just an act.
“You like chewin’ your food?” Simon asks, his voice so deathly calm that you grab his arm with a laugh and pull at him.
“He’s just kidding Simon,” You placate, trying to pull your --wow this guy’s bicep is huge-- fake boyfriend away, “Right dad?”
“Oh come on,” You father tosses your way with a shake of his head, “I can handle a Manc-” He snorts and turns to Simon “-at least better than their players handle the ball.”
Simon flexes under your hands, and you physically can’t restrain him from shaking you off to stalk over to your dad.
“Simon please,” You plead, you don’t even have to act, the way he grabs your father by the shirt collar you all but leap to wrap your arms around his waist and try to pull him back, “not again!”
“Again!” Your mother yelps as your father holds his hands up, eyes wide with fear.
“It was a joke,” Your father assures Simon.
“Fuckin’ better be.” Simon relents, releasing his hold on your father and turning those dark eyes to you.
“Look’t you grabbin’ me,” He grabs you before you can let him go, your muscles still vibrating with adrenaline. He holds your face with the same hand that had held your father, squeezes your cheeks with his fingers.“Real cute, thinkin’ you could ‘old me back.” Your stomach flips. “Taught you better’n that didn’ I? You want somethin’ you gotta ask, yeah?”
“I don’-” You try to shake yourself back to your senses and Simon squeezes you a little tighter, “Please let go.” Embarrassment settles hot in your stomach at the spark of… something in Simon’s eyes.
“There’s my girl,” He smiles, “Now give us a kiss love.”
You feel your stomach drop out, and you’re sure it shows on your face. Simon raises a brow. Your tongue feels too big in your dry mouth. You swallow and glance at your parents.
“I thought you said no PDA,” You try. This wasn’t in the brief.
“Just on the cheek then,” His smile is absolutely devilish, you wonder where he learned it, “Wouldn’t want ta embarrass you in front of your folks.” Your mother scoffs. Simon turns to glare at her and you rush a quick peck on his cheek just to get it over with.
His stubble is sharp where it pokes against your lips, but his skin is surprisingly soft. You almost hesitate pulling away. Your skin already feels hot with the humiliation of kissing a veritable stranger whose only goal is to antagonize your parents for the evening, so you don’t waste time with the action.
You’re saved by your aunt opening the front door with a loud, excited:
“Happy Christmas!”
Before she freezes in the doorway. Your cousins rush in, seemingly unaware of the tension and you take the opportunity to pull out of Simon’s grip.
“Is this a bad time?” Your aunt asks as tactfully as she can given the energy in the house.
“It’s a great time,” Simon answers for the crowd with a smile. Your mother throws an alarmed look your way and does her best to plaster on something less emotional for her sister.
“I thought you were gonna help with the presents,” Your uncle calls from behind your aunt, who immediately turns to help him get the boxes in. You see her vaguely gesture at the house through the crack between the door and the frame and wonder just what she’s trying to convey.
This holiday is already off to a terrible start. Which is great. But you can’t shake the feeling that it’s going… worse than you’d initially thought it would.
“When are we eating?” One of your cousins asks, you turn to see the teen, Jack, staring at you. You suppose you’re the only adult that ever really gives any of them the time of day, makes sense he’d ask you.
“Uh,” you blink, trying to come up with a decent answer for him, “probably soon.”
“I wanna open presents,” One of the little ones whines.
“You gotta wait,” Jack tells him.
“Ok!” Your aunt announces as she comes back inside, now holding gifts, “Looks like you’ve already started the party!”
“Haven’t even started drinking yet,” Simon assures her. Your uncle joins the fray, shuffling past you to set his gifts under the tree as well.
“You drink.” Your mother clarifies with a smile, she’s hiding the horror well.
“I’m the life of the party love,” He tosses your mom a wink and turns to look around. You assume for the liquor.
“What do you drink?” Your uncle asks, good natured as usual. That’ll change.
“Bourbon.” Simon hums, “But I’ll take a beer if that’s all ya got.”
“Sure there’s somethin’ around here somewhere.” Your uncle meanders over to your parent’s short liquor cabinet and starts rifling through the bottles. Your mother shoots you a look that practically begs you to stop him.
“Do you need something mom?” You ask, oblivious.
“It’s just a little early to start drinking, don't you think?” She asks, a leading question. You know what she’s trying to do.
“You sayin’ I can’t get a drink?” Simon asks.
“Let the man have a drink,” You uncle cajoles, “It’s a holiday!”
Your mother’s lips press into a thin line. She doesn’t comment on the glass your uncle pours for Simon, but she does retreat to the kitchen with your aunt in toe. You’re almost tempted to follow them and see what they’re saying. Maybe you could throw some fuel on the fire. Simon throws an arm around your shoulders before you can move, holding you against his side to keep you in place. You glance up at him, he doesn’t look at you.
You tug your phone from your pocket for something to do, trying to look busy and uninterested in the chaos Simon is sowing, when it’s all you can think about. He manages a normal conversation with your little cousins, going through introductions like a regular person, even commenting on the shirt Jack is wearing. You glance at it and just know that was a fight with his mother. Looks like it’s based off some horror movie, blood dripping off a knife held aloft by a masked figure. Not very Christmas-y.
You can almost hear the argument that must have taken place when he’d put it on.
Simon must be smart enough to figure that out because he’s really hyping up the teen over the shirt. Talking about the movie and complaining about how his mom sounds like a bitch. Your cousin blinks at the swear before you see a grin split his face.
“Fuck yeah, is aunty letting us swear now?” Jack asks, too excited to contain it.
“The fuck is she the queen of England?” Simon laughs, turning to you, “Your mum’s not lettin’ ‘em swear?” You shrug.
“She says it isn’t ‘proper’.” Jack rolls his eyes.
“Fuck proper.” Simon snorts. He shoots you a look as he sips his drink. You’re sure Jack will be cussing the rest of the evening with Simon to back him up. Your mom’s gonna love that.
Your aunt comes out of the kitchen and grabs her husband to whisper in his ear. Your uncle glances at Simon and makes a confused face. One of the younger ones runs up to them and loudly asks:
“What’s fuck mean?”
Simon averts his gaze and you feel his shoulders shake with restrained laughter. You have to hold it in yourself, the glare your aunt sends Simon’s way is too funny. The kid was bound to hear it from his brother eventually. Really, Simon is saving the teen from being grounded with that one.
Your mom comes sweeping into the living room just in time to save Simon from getting an earful. Your aunt’s glare transfers to her before she can fix her face. Your mother’s lips pucker, an unpleasant understanding that something is happening crossing her eyes. She ignores it, much like every other unpleasant thing you’ve witnessed with her, in favor of normalcy.
“Dinner is ready!” She announces.
“That was fast,” You blink, usually she spends more time milling about and waiting for people to finish a few cocktails.
“Well,” She smiles at Simon, “I thought I’d speed things up so nobody misses any other christmases.”
“Got nowhere to be.” He informs her.
“Oh I’m sure you’re mother would-”
“Mum’s dead.” Simon sniffs.
“Then your fath-”
“If the bastard was still alive I’d kill ‘im myself.” Simon smiles at her over the rim of his glass before knocking back the rest of the bourbon and pouring himself another two fingers, “You got me all night if I want.”
Your mothers lips pucker again, the slightest hint of distaste in her expression before she manages a smile.
“We’re glad to have you.” She offers. You expect she’ll still try to force you out early. “Dinner?”
“Bloody starvin’.” Simon grunts, pushing past her towards the kitchen.
Your uncle is already serving himself from the various pans laden with food. Your father isn’t far behind him, eyeing the roast like a man starved.
You grab one of the Christmas patterned plates and hold it out to Simon, letting him queue behind your father. He glances around and you watch his eyes land on your cousins hovering nearby.
“Adults serve first,” You whisper to Simon when he steps back from the line for food to let the kids cut in front. It’s a quiet motion that presses him into you, he glances back like he might give you an apology before he makes eye contact with your aunt and loops his arm around you instead.
“What?” He asks loudly, “Your mum tryin’ ta starve the poor buggers or somethin’?” You blink at him. He raises a brow. “No heart under those tits, eh?”
Your aunt gasps and he gives her a once over. You keep your eyes on your little cousins as they happily load up their plates with turkey and mashed potatoes. One of the older boys smothers his whole plate in gravy and honestly, you can’t blame him.
“Can’t be jealous, ya clearly got the better ass.” Simon tells your aunt as you scooch around him to get your own plate. He catches you around the middle and pulls you back, curling over you. He tips your head back with a hand on your throat, thick fingers squeezing just enough to dimple the skin.
“Where do you think you’re going?” He asks. You barely hear him over the roll of butterflies in your stomach. Your cheeks blaze with heat, and you clench your thighs together tight at the way he glowers down at you.
“I’m gonna make you a plate,” You tell him, he pinches your cheek and lets you free.
“Good girl,” He tells you, “Got ‘er well trained don’t I?” He jokes to your aunt, who you can feel radiating anger behind you.
You don’t really know what he likes, but Simon is a big guy so you get him a bit of everything, loading up his plate like you do this every day. It’s probably too much food, but part of you sort of likes the idea that he’s eating what you “made” for him. You hand him the full plate and he smiles, you turn back to grab your own food --you must still be nervous from having his hand at your throat-- and he smacks your ass. You bite back the yelp that threatens to break free. The sharp sting of pain spreads through you like wildfire, blossoming over your skin even through your skirt.
You quickly pile food onto your plate, hoping your aunt takes your speedy exit as one of embarrassment and not one of- well a different sort of embarrassment.
You manage to squeeze into the seat next to Simon, feeling his thick thigh press against yours like a warm anchor. Your mother gives him a dirty look as he reaches to fool with one of the candles in the middle of the table. You’re sure she heard his loud announcement that she doesn’t care about her nephews. His other hand settles on your leg under the table and you stiffen. Thick callused fingers grip your thigh, squeezing the soft flesh with something you desperately want to call reassurance. He knows no one can see that, right?
You watch the rest of your family fill the table, your little cousins already picking at their food, stuffing salad leaves into their mouths and pretending not to lick the gravy off their fingers. You wait for everyone to take their seats before you pick up your fork and your aunt shoots you a look.
“I’d like to-” your aunt starts only to be cut off by your fake-boyfriend.
“I want ta make an announcement.” Simon tells the table loudly, the conversation goes dead, your mother’s eyes bore holes into you, begging for anything but an announcement. You think she might bend her fork with how tight she grips it watching Simon shove his chair back to drop to one knee. You clasp a hand over your mouth, doing your best to play the part of shocked girlfriend, despite having planned this.
“Simon!” You squeal as he tugs a black ring box from his pocket.
“Lemme talk baby,” Simon hushes you and you shut your mouth quickly, “I know it’s only been a couple a months-” the look in your mother’s eyes could kill an elephant, “-but I’m mad fer ya, an’ I know birds like you get off market quick so if I wanna keep that ass to myself I bloody well better get ya tied down.” Your mother gasps.
“Shut ya gob, I’m tryin’ ta propose.” He snaps at her, and she leans back like she’s been struck. Simon turns back to you, and you feel a rush of heat drip between your legs at the look in his eyes. This guy should be on TV with how good an actor he is.
“Will you marry me?” He finally gets out and you nod.
“Of course I will!” You fling yourself against him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.
His big hands find your waist and squeeze. You pull away to take the ring box and he nearly pulls you out of your chair, only to push you back into it as he kisses you.
Your eyes go wide and you struggle to keep your hands on him when all you want to do is lurch away. Not a good look on an excited and newly ringed up girlfriend.
But the way he kisses you makes your stomach churn. His lips cover yours and almost as quickly as you get used to the feeling his tongue is trying to force its way into your mouth. You rush to close your eyes only to feel his tongue, thankfully, retreat. And be replaced by his teeth, biting your lip hard enough to bruise, prying your lips apart to slip his tongue in and lick your teeth.
Your head swims, your eyes rolling at the way his hands grope and squeeze you, tagging every soft scrap they can find while he attempts to devour you. He does something with his tongue, twists it against yours to tickle the roof of your mouth, and you make a noise without meaning to. It’s all you can do to remember to clumsily slide your lips against his. You’re not sure you make a pretty picture when he pulls away, his spit trailing off your slick, swollen, lips. You suppose this evening isn’t really about painting a pretty picture.
It makes you squirm to feel his big thumb swipe over your lower lip, dragging the poor thing down to see your teeth.
A chill racks your body as his eyes follow the motion of his thumb.
Your father loudly clears his throat. Your mother looks mortified. Your little cousins are covering their eyes while the teen pointedly looks at his phone.
Simon rubs the ring on your finger, pressing the metal back and forth against your skin. When the fuck did he put that on you?
“I’d like to say Grace,” Your aunt tries to wrestle the evening back into familiar territory as Simon sets you back in your chair.
Your family bows their heads and you smack your knee on the underside of the table as you jump, unprepared for how high Simon’s hand settles on your thigh. You don’t even hear whatever prayer your aunt is saying with the way the blood rushes in your ears at the wide splay of Simon’s fingers. So. Close.
You settle your hand on his and try to push him back to safe ground.
Jesus this guy is strong. Pain in your-
“Everything okay over there?” Your uncle asks. You must have looked like you were struggling more than you thought you were.
“Fine,” You tell him, even though things are decidedly not fine and Simon won’t move his hand, “Just fussing with the ring.”
“Oh yes,” Your aunt holds her hand out across the table, “let’s see it.”
You hesitate before taking your hand off Simon’s. He doesn’t move, seemingly settled with where he’s settled. You hold your hand out for her to grab, let her turn your hand this way and that. Simon had told you he’d grab a ring, so you haven’t actually seen it yet. It’s pretty. A nice pear cut diamond with a trinity of what looks like pearls on either side. You wonder where he got it, you’re just glad it looks less fake than costume jewelry usually does.
“How nice,” Your mother coos, it sounds even less sincere than her compliments usually do.
You’re thankful you don’t need to do much talking at dinner. Simon more than makes up for you. He talks at length about how “mint” your friends are --he’s never met them-- and how his mates are begging for a go with you. He explains to your teen cousin, at length, how his violent video games could be worse, after your aunt bemoans the fact he’s been playing war sims. He makes no move to censor himself, actually from the few conversations you’ve had with him, you think he’s swearing more than he usually does. He even manages to start an argument with your father about “taking the gloves off” during combat.
“Different once you’re in active combat,” He explains like he’s talking to your father, “You do what you have to, keepin’ your ‘ands clean isn’t exactly front of your mind.”
You glace across the table at Jack, the teen looks completely invested in whatever Simon is saying. You can almost hear the look your aunt has fixed you with, you’re sure you’ll get a call later about your fiance “encouraging him to get himself killed.”
“Oh please,” Your father blusters, “if that were the case the royal service would be under investigation. We’d see it on the BBC: Special Air Service members torture civilians. What a load of horse-” Your mother coughs and your father shuts his mouth.
“Got plenty of men like me givin’ orders,” Simon digs into his pocket to pull his cigarettes, stopping with his teeth around the filter of one when your mother coughs loudly. He shoves them back into his pocket with a grumbled swear. “Like I told ya earlier, ‘s not the good men that come back.”
“You’re so cool,” Jack tells Simon with wide eyes. Your aunt smacks his arm with the back of her hand, reprimanding. Simon’s eyes narrow.
He watches your aunt the rest of dinner. The conversation drifts as plates are emptied. You attempt to stand to help clear the table, and Simon holds you in your chair. Your mother putters around the table with your aunt, you smile and thank them. You’re almost done. Then you can go home and wait for the flood of texts/calls from your mom.
You can just imagine the way she’ll try to convince you to break off your (fake)engagement. You’ll wait a few weeks before spinning up some story about Simon cheating on you. Your family will be so grateful Simon’s gone they won’t ask any questions.
“Does anyone want pudding or are we going straight to-”
“Presents!” Your youngest cousin cuts your mom off, rushing to the tree as soon as his plate is cleared. Your aunt grabs him and brings him back to the table only for him to run over again. She manages to pull a gift from his little hands, and bring him screaming back to the table. You wince at the sharp sound, the fat tears rolling down the kid’s chubby cheeks, crying about opening presents. Your aunt reminds him shortly that there’s still dessert to get through. It barely makes a dent in the tears. The kid pulls at his mom’s grip, screaming and kicking.
Simon’s hand on your thigh tippens its grip.
You know, you know. It’s never fun sitting around with a kid throwing a tantrum, but you’re sure your aunt will handle it-
There’s a sharp crack as your aunt spanks the kid. Hard.
Simon shoots up from his seat.
Your little cousin’s tears turn to sniffles and a wobbly lip as his mom gives him a hissed warning.
Your hands shake as Simon stalks around the table to grab your aunt’s hand.
“The one thing you’re not gonna fuckin’ do,” He tells her in a low warning tone, “is hit your fuckin’ kid in front of me.”
It’s so different from the anger he’d had with your father over football. You know that, that was acting, but this… It radiates off of Simon like a miasma, dark seething hatred, anger like you’ve never seen. Your aunt looks at him like she’s seen a ghost. Her eyes are wide and scared, her hand still holding your cousin’s arm squeezes tighter, like the child is her only lifeline.
“Ow!” The kid whines, the sniffles starting again in full, “Mum that hurts.”
Simon cocks his head, his own grip tightening.
“Let ‘im go,” Simon presses, his anger as cold as death, “Or I’ll break your arm.”
“Simon,” You don’t know what you’re hoping your voice will add to this, not even sure what you should do, all you know is that you brought Simon into this house which makes him your responsibility.
“He’s alright,” Your aunt tries to assure Simon, “aren’t you sweetie?”
“Mum!” Your cousin whines again. Your aunt lets go of his arm like it’s burned her.
“Now apologize.” Simon demands. Your aunt nods sharply and swallows.
“Mum’s sorry baby,” She directs the comment at your cousin but her eyes are fixed on Simon, watching him like a rabbit watches a wolf. “It was just a little spank.” You think the pleading justification makes it worse with the way Simon’s eye twitches.
“I ever catch you hittin’ ‘im again-” Your aunt’s eyes dart to you, to the fake rock on your finger, “-and it won’t just be your arm I break.”
Your glance to your mother for- God you don’t even know, help? Maybe? She glares at you like this is your fault. Fair enough. Your uncle seems quicker on the uptake.
“Maybe we take Christmas to go,” He chimes in, “Grab the kid’s gifts, since they seem tired.”
Your mother grabs hold of this lifeline as quickly as she can wrap her head around it.
“Absolutely!” She hurries to the tree to start sorting out gifts, “Oh I didn’t realize they’d be so exhausted, we all know fits are just fits, right Simon?”
“I look like I’m throwin’ a fuckin’ fit?” Simon asks her, his voice still cold.
“You know I’m pretty tired too,” Your aunt agrees.
“I’m not.” Jack chimes in.
“Yes, you are.” His mom hisses.
“And it looks like snow,” Your uncle adds, “so we should go.”
You hardly get a word in before your cousins are rushed out the door, no hug or forced familiarity from your aunt as she and your uncle juggle presents and strapping kids into car seats.
Simon takes one of the armchairs in the living room amidst the chaos, dangling his glass with his fingers on the rim as he glowers at your aunt. Your attempt to help them gather presents is stopped by Simon pulling you down into his lap. You stiffen reflexively to try and leverage some of your weight off of him, and he pulls you to lean against his chest.
Maybe it’s good you don’t say good-bye. You’re not sure anything you could say would sound sincere with the way you’re perched on your fake fiance. You’ll definitely be hearing about this later.
You’ve never seen anyone in your family leave that fast. Your mother must blame you for this social faux pas with the way she glares at you. She’s not even trying to hide it, seemingly having deemed Simon as unworthy of her usual polite routine. She stops just short of yelling at you in front of him. Must be too afraid of what he’ll do to her if he’s willing to break your aunt’s arm over her kid.
You’re not sure when you lost control of the evening, but you’re ready to go. Your aunt’s exit should be your exit too. You even open your mouth to tell your mother it’s been a lovely evening.
Simon beat you to it.
“Let’s open presents.” You’d almost call it an order with how edged his voice is.
“We don’t have any for you,” Your mother attempts, “it wouldn’t be fair to open them now.”
“Don’t need a present,” Simon assures her, “Bird’ll gimme somethin’ later.” Your mother’s eye twitches. Simon’s hand slides over your thigh, his thumb rubbing gently at the sensitive, clothed, skin. Your nerves must be on high alert to feel his touch so acutely. He gestures with his glass at the tree. “Go’an,” He orders again.
The tension in Simon’s form slowly seeps out of him as your parents shuffle presents out from under the tree. His body, which had previously seemed poised to leap at the slightest provocation, relaxes back against the chair as your mother hands you a present. She smiles at you warmly, almost pitying, when you thank her. Simon’s hand doesn’t leave your thigh, possessive in a way that feels too close to reality.
“Oh wait,” You tell your mother as she pulls one of the gifts you brought from the pile. You slip from Simon’s lap, and for some reason he lets you, bent at the waist to point to a different box. His hand slides over the swell of your ass with an appreciative hum and you have to stop the tremor in your voice as your blood rushes south. “That one first,” You smile, “otherwise this one won’t make sense.”
The normalcy of it is more welcome than you’d thought. Somehow your usual family Christmas doesn’t seem as tense or fraught with conversational landmines now that Simon’s intruded. If nothing else you suppose he’s given you that. It’s certainly easier talking to your parents when they keep casting nervous glances at Simon to make sure this is an appropriate line of conversation.
Simon, for his part, does little except keep you in his lap as you tear into the paper wrapped boxes. Occasionally his hand moves from your thigh to squeeze your stomach, or your side, as if he’s checking that you’re still all there. It’s not exactly casual, and the heat that builds between your legs as he drags his callused fingers across your stomach makes you want to squirm back into his chest, just to try and escape the ticklish feeling.
You try to focus on the gifts, drumming up the appropriate amount of excitement to look grateful while all of your attention is on the spread of Simon’s fingers. His hand splays wide against you and you try to trace the outline of it, distract yourself from how big his hand is.
But distracting yourself from the spread of his hand directs you towards the spread of his legs, to the firm muscle of his thick thighs, to the slight softness of his stomach when your back starts to hurt and you lean against him with less stiff of a spine. Your eyes drift to the window as your mother coos over the knitting supplies and class pass to her favorite craft store. It’s so dark out, the sun already disappeared behind the horizon and the streetlights are doing their best to shine even when the night dims them. You’re already tired.
Your phone buzzes and you check it with a glance.
It’s a weather alert.
You scramble off Simon’s lap only to be dragged back into it.
“Where d’you think you’re goin’?” He asks, his hands grip your sides, fingers just brushing the edge of your bra. You can’t deal with the way being pulled like this makes your head swim. Fuck, maybe he could just grab you off the street and- NO.
“Simon,” You push at his hands, “problem.”
“No problem love,” He hums. Lips brush the shell of your ear and you stiffen as heat blooms over your cheeks, “‘Cept you gettin’ up oll the time.” “It’s snowing.” You insist, still pushing at his hands.
Your father looks at you with confusion and glances out the window. It’s hard to see when it’s so dark out. You’re suddenly hit with a grim understanding of why the street lamps seem so dim. Your dad walks to the front door and tugs it open only to be pushed by the gust of cold wind and snow that rushes into the house.
The wind is positively howling.
Your father muscles the door shut and your mother nervously clicks on the TV to check the weather. She doesn’t even help your dad brush all the snow off him, worrying her lip as her eyes fix to the screen.
“Not gonna be able to drive home in that,” Your father grimaces. Your mother shoots him a look before skirting her eyes around you to watch Simon. You can almost feel his smile.
“You wouldn’t mind us stayin’ ‘ere would ya?”
You flip on the lights in your childhood bedroom. Simon looms behind you. Reasonably you understand why he insisted on staying, even why he insisted on sharing a room. As far as your parents know you’re happily engaged, and as far as you could tell there was a blizzard raging outside. Honestly you’ve never seen anything like it, and if you didn’t know any better you might have blamed Simon for it.
You have never in your life been more aware of another person’s presence.
“In you go love,” Simon tells you, pressing you forwards with a hand on the small of your back. You stumble into your room and turn in time to watch Simon close the door. He bends down to unlace his boots and you manage to kick off your shoes in the time it takes him to straighten again. Now that you’re alone you feel on edge. All the casual friendly airs that Simon had been putting on when you’d met him before have done nothing to prepare you for the weight of his full attention. You’re only too happy when he turns to survey the room.
“I can take the floor,” You inform him, already gathering the spare blankets and pillows your mom had set on your twin bed.
“Sit down,” Simon orders, your ass hits the side of your mattress so fast you haven’t even registered the command before you’ve followed it, “You’re takin’ the bed.”
His tone leaves no room for argument. You suppose it could almost be called kind of him to give you the bed.
“Sorry,” You tell him quietly, mindful of your parents in the next room.
“What’re you actin’ sorry for,” He huffs, “Sweet bird like you doesn’t mind sharin’, does she? Besides,” He knocks your knees apart with a big booted foot, “I still gotta get paid.”
You stare up at him, confusion plain on your face.
“I thought you just wanted the meal.”
“Meal’s not finished, is it?” He tells you, “Never got dessert.”
“Wha-”
“Take your fuckin’ pants off.” His tone is clipped, short, and deep. It sinks into your skin, prickling goosebumps everywhere he’d touched earlier. Which feels like it must have been, well, everywhere.
You should say “no.” Literally nothing about this man has given you any indication that he’s someone you should want to get undressed for, and he’s spent the better part of the day tormenting your family. Granted you did ask him to do that, and honestly his efforts do land squarely in the “pros” category, but he’s a little too good at playing a dirt-bag. And this? This just seals the deal on that particular observation.
So you should say “no.”
But the way his big hands had grabbed you, the way his tongue had wound against yours, the way he looks down at you now, hungry, makes you desperately want to do whatever he asks you to.
“My parents are in the next room,” You whisper, glancing back at the wall that separates the two rooms.
“Who gives a shit?” Simon snorts, “Don’t ‘appy couples celebrate their engagement?” Your eyes flick down to his trousers, the implications aren’t lost on you. He must catch you looking because his hand grabs your hair and tips your head back. “Trust me birdy, I’m tryin’ ta be nice, but if ya wanna choke on it…”
You race to get your trousers open, fingers shaking as you push them down. You don’t need to see his cock to make some leaps of logic that it’s just as big as the rest of him, and if he’s offering you the choice between his mouth on you, and your mouth on him-
Simon leans forward and unceremoniously shoves his hand into your panties, your trousers barely down your thighs. Your train of thought comes to a full halt as big fingers stroke through your folds.
“Atta girl,” He hums, “much ‘appier like this, aren’t ya?” He tugs his fingers free, spreads them in front of your face with a pitying pout at the way your slick glistens on his skin. “Least your cunt knows what’s good for it.”
He pushes your head back, tossing it towards the bed as he releases your hair. Your back hits the mattress and you have to work to keep from hitting your head on the wall. Simon’s fingers find the hem of your panties and drag them down your thighs, catching your trousers to discard the lot on the floor.
You snap your legs shut against the chill of the room and he growls.
“None of that now,” He advises, prying your legs apart. His fingers dig into the soft meat of your thighs, his gaze fixed on the wet mess between them. The way he stands over you makes him feel massive, makes the way he leans over you feel looming.
His hands slide over your ticklish inner thighs and you have to stifle the giggle that threatens to spill from you. You doubt Simon would appreciate your laughter, might even think you’re laughing at him. Again your eyes dart to the hard length straining against his trousers as his thumbs spread your folds.
“Pretty,” He says it so plainly, casually, like he’s judging a toy. It blazes through you, lighting up your nerves and making you shiver. Any other protests you might have had die on your tongue as Simon drops to his knees.
Seeing him between your legs makes your stomach clench, makes your cunt pulse with desire. One of his thumbs rubs up and down the seam of your cunt while the other keeps you half-spread. He presses his thumb firmly against your clit, the pressure makes your hips squirm, makes you ache for more stimulation. The pressure stops, and his thumb traces its way back to holding you open.
He spits.
You flinch when it hits your spread folds, body vibrating with embarrassed heat as it slides over you. Simon’s eyes follow it the whole way down, and his tongue drags it back up.
Simon’s tongue cards through your folds, warm and wet, and he groans low in his throat. It’s positively sinful the way he pulls his tongue slow and flat over you, like he’s trying to savor the taste. You snap your hand over your mouth, stifling the soft whimper that the attention brings to your lips.
Simon’s eyes flick to your face and he makes a frustrated noise. You feel his teeth touch your skin just before he bites you. You yelp at the sharp pain, your hand shooting from your mouth to his head in an attempt to push him away. Simon tips his head back to bite at the meat of your palm, his teeth digging into the firm flesh before his tongue licks over it. There’s a sharpness to his teeth, chipped edges that scrape at your skin and ache before he soothes them.
You don’t want him to bite you again.
You don’t think you do.
Do you?
His tongue rolls over your palm, wetting the dry skin with spit and slick. His mouth has a heady sheen to it that makes you want to drag your tongue over his lips, to clean up the light prickle of his beard with your own mouth.
“No sense lettin’ you breath if you’re not gonna scream for me,” Simon informs you. Your face has never felt hotter than when his teeth scrape down your palm to tease your pulse. You’re too enraptured by the way he moves to let spit drip off his tongue and onto your clit to really register what he said.
His tongue rubs against your clit, working the firm bud back and forth before letting his tongue roll over it. Each hot swipe sends a new shudder of heat and pleasure through your body. You whimper, your wet hand tangling its fingers in his short cropped hair just to feel him shake his head like a dog.
It’s filthy the way he drags his lips over your folds, sucking and slurping at you like he’s trying to be loud. His stubble scratches at the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, prickly and sharp next to the warm wet mouth that sucks at your clit. His tongue keeps twisting over it, keeping it sensitive and tingling before he’s ducking down to fuck the slick muscle into your hole. Simon moves his tongue against the entrance to your cunt like he’s hoping to stretch out the hole with it, circling around the delicate outer edge before pressing inside, over and over until your brain feels like it’ll melt out of your ears.
Then that wet heat is dragged up to your clit, circled and sucked, licked in broad strokes that wiggle against you just so he can hear the way your voice pitches up in pleasure.
He turns his head to wipe his mouth against your thigh, lips parting to lick a long stripe before he sinks his teeth into the meat of it and sucks. Your own lips close tight around the whimper the dull pain of it pulls from you.
He muscles your leg up against his shoulder, his arm moving to find a comfortable angle as he hooks his thumb in your fluttering cunt. You blink at the intrusion, the thick digit may as well be two of your own fingers the way he pulls at your entrance and stretches you open. That isn’t what steals your focus from his mouth though, what tugs at you is the way his other thick fingers rub over your ass, spreading your slick and attempting to soften the hole into something pliant.
He’s grabbed your hips to roll you onto your stomach before you can raise a protest to the searching fingers, big strong hands dragging your hips up so your knees settle on the edge of the bed as he stands. It forces your face into the quilts, muffling the noise of surprise that the motion shakes out of you. Again you find protests on your lips, you hadn’t even come, and again they’re snuffed by his fingers.
Two of them push into your cunt and you moan low in your throat at the burning stretch that they provide. Your hips rock back into them, your stomach fluttering with need as more heat courses through you. His fingers crook and he thrusts them down into your cunt, hitting some throbbing tightness that makes you cry out.
Simon makes a low cooing noise in the back of his throat and his fingers stroke against your walls. You turn your head to rest your cheek against the bed, your lips pouting and your lashes fluttering as he gives you just long enough to suck in a breath before his fingers are pressing against that soft aching spot again. Your eyes roll, your breath caught tight in your throat at the thrum of pleasure that tightens like burning heat in your aching cunt.
His fingers pump faster and faster into your cunt, and you cry out, your hips wiggling and your fingers gripping at the quilt. The wet squelching noise that comes from his fingers fucking into you makes an embarrassed heat rush over your skin, and you burry your face in the blankets just to gasp out your moans. Your mouth hangs open, drool dripping off your tongue as your breath stops in your throat. The tight heat between your legs feels like it’s winding its way all the way up through your diaphragm. Your muscles are tensed so tight you think you might snap, and you let out a low moan as your breath finally shakes free. You suck in air between sobs, each punch of his fingers into your cunt pushing a new noise free of your lips.
The wet noises just get wetter.
And then something inside you snaps. Your stomach clenches tight and your cunt follows, spasming around Simon’s fingers as they pump in and out of you. Stars dance across your vision and you bite the quilts to stop from screaming. Something trickles out of you and he rewards your orgasm with a throaty chuckle.
He pulls his fingers from you and rubs soaked fingers over your ass before he’s trying to push one inside.
“Been eyein’ this ass all night.” He hums.
The firm pressure hurts the harder he presses, and you whimper out a sniffled reproach to the feeling, a soft “hurts” that you’re sure will fall on deaf ears. Simon stops, pulls his finger back and slicks it in your cunt again, the feeling of his fingers twisting against your soft spot making your eyes roll. It hurts, an overworked burn that makes you whimper for an entirely different reason.
He pulls his thick fingers from your cunt and you feel the tip of one teasing your ass again. It’s barely a pressure when his finger tries your ass again, and he lets out a slow breath as you’re filled.
“Just sunk right in,” He tells you, pumping his finger in and out, the drag of heat has your lashes fluttering, your head spinning at the deep pressure that makes your cunt clench, “Isn’t that pretty.”
His thumb catches your cunt again, tugging at the slick hole. The click of his belt and rustle of fabric clues you in to what comes next.
That doesn’t mean you’re prepared for how big his cock feels nudging at your entrance. A chill runs over your skin, goosebumps raising to meet the air where your jumper has slid down your back. The blunt head of his cock presses against your hole, and you arch your back into the feeling, desperate to find the right angle for it to slip in.
Simon doesn’t seem as eager. He pushes into you slowly, lets you feel the way you burn and stretch around him, lets you feel every centimeter of that big cock. You feel tight, even as wet as you are, you feel like you’re squeezing the life out of him. Your cunt is hot and tingling, and your clit throbs with the need to be touched.
You feel his hips press against your ass, and he grinds into you. Another wave of goosebumps rushes over you at the deep ache he pushes into. You squeeze your eyes shut just to stop the way they keep trying to roll back in your head.
Simon pulls back, and you can almost feel the drag of his head against your walls. He grinds the tip against the soft spot near your entrance before punching his cock back into you. You make a choked noise before your throat seems to open and a flood of moans and pleas flows from you. Each push of his cock into you pitches your voice up and you moan in desperate panting sounds.
You ache. You’ve never felt so full. He hasn’t taken his finger from your ass, instead he presses it down to try and feel his own cock stretching out your walls. You shove a hand between your legs to try and stroke your clit only to feel the stretch of your skin around his fat cock. You’re so wet that your fingers slip over your folds, uncoordinated, and you can’t get a good angle. You open your mouth but can’t find the words to ask for what you need.
One of his thrusts pushes you up the bed and your hand moves immediately to push against the wall with a ‘thump.’
“Simon,” You whine, “Simon.”
His free hand pets up your spine, bunching your jumper up under your armpits to unhook your bra, before finding its way to your hair. He curls his fingers and finds a tight grip near your scalp. The bite of pain makes you want to push back into him. The deep pressure, the slight sting, from your ass makes your body stutter, your brain crashing into itself.
Oh God.
“Not a thought in that pretty little ‘ead is there?” He asks, the fingers gripping your hair tight pull your head back, you moan your pleasure for him as he gives a hard thrust into you, your bleary eyes opened just enough to focus on the white wall. “Course not,” Simon grunts, a huff of laughter edging his voice, “Wouldn't've responded to my ad if there was.”
You reach back to claw at his thigh and find it still, painfully, clothed. A burst of humiliation shoots through you at the thought that Simon hasn’t even bothered to get undressed.
“Stupid thing, really could’ve just grabbed ya off the street.” He mumbles, there’s a touch of fondness to his voice, a smile that doesn’t feel appropriate for the way he fucks into you. Like he’s trying to teach you a lesson.
The only thing you’re learning is that Simon’s cock hits something deep and needy inside of you. The finger in your ass starts to pull out and you scream. Simon groans as you tighten around him, your cunt desperate to keep his cock inside. You’re buzzing with your orgasm, settled right at the edge with nothing to push you over the edge. There’s too much stimulation. His cock pistoning into you and his finger starting to tug at your ass. You’re still sore from his fingers but you can’t stop yourself from clenching tight around him.
“Mad fer it,” Simon chuckles, “tell me what ya need bird.”
“Clit- clit,” You stutter out, still barely able to keep the words straight in your head.
“Louder love,” He teases, “don’t think I heard ya.”
“Please,” You sob, your moans still tearing from your chest on each thrust, “touch my clit.”
He drops your head back down onto the bed, and you muffle your noise with the quilt clenched between your teeth. His finger pulls from your ass and you scream your pleasure into the bed. It’s so hot, your ass burning with something that isn’t entirely painful. It just makes your clit pulse harder.
Simon’s fingers find their way between your legs and he pinches your clit between them. One roll of the tight bud between them has your legs shaking. The second has tears brimming at your lash line and your mouth hanging open as you flutter and drip on Simon’s cock. You tense and release around him, your orgasm crashing into you like a train. Waves of it rush through you, shaking your muscles loose until you’re laid like a doll against the bed. Your skin is burning and you ache,
And Simon keeps fucking you.
The smack of his hips against yours fills the room, his breath heavy and his fingers now tight on your waist. You push back into his thrusts and it makes stars dance across your vision. That deep aching part of you makes everything draw tight again.
Simon’s thrusts grow quicker, rougher, his fingers grip you so tight it hurts. You scream for him again, his hard thrusts pushing you to the edge a third time. The blistering heat of his come hits your overworked cunt and you moan.
“Too much,” You whine. Everything is sore when he pulls out. You don’t think you can move.
Your knees slip off the edge of the bed and you just lay there.
Simon rolls you back onto your back, and manhandles you into laying on the bed properly.
You sit up just enough to tug your jumper off and toss your bra to the floor with the rest of your clothes. Simon ditches his shirt and you sleepily take in the cut musculature of his chest as he wanders to turn off the light.
You pass out before he ever gets his pants off.
*
Your parents have already gathered the presents from last night by the front door when you wander downstairs in the morning. Your father doesn’t look at you, but your mother positively glowers. You try not to think about how loud you’d been last night.
Simon’s had his hands on you since you woke up. His fingers splay wide on the small of your back, as your parents attempt to rush you out the door.
You’re settled in Simon’s car, driving down the street when you finally let the laughter take over. You giggle and snort, pressing your fingers against your mouth to try and stem the flow of them. But really, what can you do? Despite being forced to spend the night putting a dent in your plans it’s worked out perfectly. Your parents won’t be asking about you getting a boyfriend any time soon.
If you’re lucky your mom will never ask you about your relationship status again, even when you “break up” with Simon.
You’re still giggling, glowing with happiness at a successfully executed plan, when you try to pull the ring off your finger.
Something sharp digs into your skin and you yelp in pain.
“What the fuck?” You question, whimpering when you pull harder and it only sends the sharp bit further into your skin. You raise your hand to look at the ring, and find a sharp tooth just under the diamond, clearly a feature not a bug. Still you glance at Simon. “I think this ring is defective,” You tell him, “It keeps stabbing me.”
Simon hums, turning right down a street.
“Then stop tryin’ ta take it off.” He advises. You twist the ring around your finger, trying to find a way to work it off.
“I can’t get it off,” You grunt in annoyance.
“Not suppose ta,” Simon tells you plainly, taking another turn, “That’s how bein’ engaged works.”
Something squirms in your stomach.
“We’re not engaged.” You remind him.
“Wearing my ring,” He reminds you, like he’s explaining it to a child, “said ‘yes’ to my proposal-” A smile splits his face, predatory in a way that makes you press your legs together, “-probably still buzzin’ for my cock too. Sounds engaged to me.”
You balk, your mouth hung open as you gape at him. Is he insane?
Simon doesn’t even look at you, just reaches to the side and presses against the underside of your chin with gentle, firm fingers, closing your mouth. Then he leans past you to open the glove compartment and tug a crumple of papers out onto your lap.
“If ya get bored you can look over those.” He tells you, flicking on his signal to hop on the highway.
You glance down at the mess of papers settled on your thighs, a mass of text and fine print that your eyes can’t focus on because they’re so shaken by the two poised at the top:
“Marriage License.”
divider by @/saradika-graphics
#cod x reader#x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost mw2#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon riley#simon riley x reader#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#f!reader
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I WANT TO F**K YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL .
( black noir x fem supe!reader )
summary: the not-so-innocent things that go on in noir’s head abt you during The Seven meetings (wc: 1.8k)
warnings: MDNI, dub-con, rough p in v, doggy style, primal play themes, size kink, gagging, sobbing, corruption kink, Homelander being a weirdo at the end… just a lil’
first fic on this blog and I lowkey hate it- ughhh sorry if it’s all over the place!
The morning sun cast its golden glow upon the Manhattan skyline as The Seven assembled in their meeting room.
Homelander paced before them, detailing some new initiative he had conceived, but his words rang as emptily as the void behind his eyes. The Deep hung on his every syllable, eager as ever to prove his ass-kissing self with poorly-timed quips. This earned him nothing but a withering side-eye.
A-Train and Maeve listened with feigned interest, checking out of the conversation all but in body. Noir sat apart, idly fidgeting with a pen as his mind wandered. But his attention was drawn not to the usual faces, for there was a new supe among them—you, the latest fresh-faced recruit to their team.
On the surface, you appeared the absolute picture of attention—eyes forward, laser focused on Homelander as he tiresomely outlined the team's objectives.
It was cute, really, how focused the newbies always strived to be. Yet beneath the facade, you were actually anything but so, not when you felt an unseen gaze assessing you, weighing you.
Flicking your eyes discreetly aside, you confirmed a suspicion you could smell from miles away: Noir watching from across the table, his expression shrouded as ever behind the visor of his helmet.
Ugh, talk about creepy.
A subtle flutter of your eyelids shifted your line of sight, choosing to trust that his thousand-yard stare just so casually happen to drift your way and not an attempt to burn his gaze into your very soul.
Besides, what else could the guy possibly think about? Training, orders from Vought, simple pastimes—usually, such painfully mundane, run-of-the-mill thoughts occupied him.
But little did you know in this moment, as he studied your presence from afar, his mental reflections took a turn less… innocent.
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“N-Noir… mmph-… please…”
It wasn’t his doing, he didn’t ask to be plagued with this sickly obsession; but every time he heard your voice, it was as if sweet, smooth-spun sugar had come alive.
An alien lust scorched Noir’s consciousness, catapulting his fevered mind into unfamiliar territory. Try as he might, he couldn’t shake the sinful thoughts that stubbornly stuck to him like glue. Just the mere notion of ever being responsible for those pretty little sounds was enough for arousal to creep through his veins like a nasty virus, sapping what was left of his crumbling self-control.
Your every whine, your every moan, would be a siren's call that beckoned him to claim you, to strip away your composure until you were utterly, helplessly his. All he craved was to watch the light in your eyes dwindle, to witness your breaths dampening into shallow puffs of air that blanketed your gaze in a veil of fog, gradually muffling you into a stillness even quieter than he was.
And truthfully, it wasn’t a matter of whether you liked it or not.
Noir would ensure his touch left no room for refusal, his grasp iron-hard as he positioned your trembling, naked body on the floor to his liking—face pinned down, ass arched up, just as it should be. Yet even as he held you fast with a palm braced against your sweat-slicked spine, his other hand moved with a surprising tenderness, gently teasing loose and brushing apart the knotted strands of hair clung to your ruddied features.
He imagined the merest of touches would set your blood aflame, rumbling up a ripe groan from your core. “…Oh m-my god… fuck…” words fled your mouth on airless breaths, nearly inaudible but still enough for him to catch. In response, he’d slowly lift a finger to your glistening lips, accompanied by a soundless ‘shh’—a signal for you to behave.
After all, good girls should never cuss.
Large, strong hands would then greedily paw at the lush fat of your ass cheeks, the scratchy textured fabric of his gloves leaving blooms of red across your flesh. Spreading you open, he’d admire the way your juicy, moist folds parted slightly, the aching emptiness within your entrance eliciting an involuntary clenching—your muted moans, trapped in your throat, acting as a wordless plea for more of his touch, more of him.
He liked to think you’d be mere putty in his hands, before he was even close to fucking you.
Noir would take his sweet time exploring you, his curiosity of the human form eclipsing the immediate need to quell a white-hot carnal desire every red-blooded man gets. He was good at rearranging people’s insides, literally, but what if he flipped the script in a much different way?
Experimentally, he’d run the very tip of his gloved finger along the weeping slit of your sex, ghosting ever so lightly over your swollen, hypersensitive clit to collect your slick arousal. Then, without warning, he’d dip an entire digit into your quivering depths, reveling in the way your spongy muscles squeezed and welcomed him in.
Your breath would hitch at the intrusion, skin prickling with a visceral need as you eagerly shoved your rear back against his palm, craving more. However, just as swiftly, he would withdraw his hand, bringing it close to his face to observe it covered in your juices, inspecting how the slimy, milky-white essence connected a trail between his fingers.
Who knew light fondling and agonizing silence was all the foreplay you needed? (or at least, in Noir’s fanciful pornographic depictions of you)
Once done playing with his food, he’d drag his knees closer to your body, his hips flush against your ass, leaving your peripheral vision filled with nothing but his imposing, darkly-clad figure dwarfing your own. Without hesitation, he’d reach down to remove the codpiece off him, freeing his hefty cock which sprang forth in the air, where it stood rock-hard, veiny, and impossibly large.
Wrapping a hand around himself, the thickly-roped, buzzing veins were betrayed by each gritty pull of his glove, drawing a guttural grunt from behind his balaclava. He’d guide his erection between your warm folds, the engorged ridge of his tip prodding against your bundle of nerves, sending electric jolts of pleasure to crackle through your core, before he began to sheathe himself inside you with a push that drove him home.
With a grip possessive and firm around your waist, Noir quickly fell into a steady, almost robotic rhythm of sturdy pushes and pulls. Each punishing collision of your bodies was answered by the lewd, rapid sounds of skin-on-skin, making damn sure you felt every single inch of him as he rutted into you like a man possessed.
He’d only hope to see you struggle taking him all in, envisioning how the sheer scale of his size forced the very air out from your gasping lungs.
“P-Please Noir!… ngh-… my body can’t handle this much,” your once-lovely voice now ragged and frail, scraping sobs grinding your vocal cords near silence as you churned and coiled like a fawn caught in the clutches of a big, bad wolf. “Be gentle, I’m begging you!—-” You choked out weakly, bordering on a soft, pitiful whine.
Expectantly, a weighted silence followed suit from Noir. In his typical, unsparing fashion, he slipped a glove from his hand, jamming it into your mouth and effectively gagging you into silence, as if to say—pipe down, be a good girl, and take my cock like you’re supposed to.
Even without a single word uttered by him, it worked like absolute fucking magic.
Your torso would practically collapse under the onslaught, wobbly limbs giving way as you let Noir use your arched up, offering form like a personal fleshlight. His hips would retract further back in an excruciating slowness, simply marveling at your wetness coating the base of his member like a second skin, only to slam back into you with raw vigor.
Your tight, gummy walls would be offered absolutely no time to adjust to the relentless invasion of his girth, the sheer thickness of his cock forcefully stretching out your cunt to shape him, to the point it felt like he was trying to split you into two.
He’d yank your flexing thighs back to meet his brutal series of thrusts, burying himself into you to the very tilt as the fleshy head of his cock kissed your cervix, igniting a searing white bolt of static to lance through your vision, momentarily fracturing it.
The all-consuming, dizzying sensation hit you like a ton of bricks, toppling your senses and wrenching a strangled sob out from your slack jaw once more. This earned you another biting touch from Noir’s thumbs pressed into your sides, as if seeking to wring every gasp out of your chest, to hear your moans rattle through your ribcage.
However even your rawest cries were swiftly muffled, swallowed by the balled-up glove shoved roughly between your teeth, which reduced you to nothing more than a gagging, pleasure-drunk whore for him to claim.
─────────────────
Meanwhile…
“Welp, that about covers it for today,” Homelander announced with a thunderous clap, loud enough for it to ring through Noir’s ears and bring him back to the present.
Slowly, Noir spun his head back towards Homelander, who had just finished addressing the team while his own thoughts drifted to places where even the pearly gates of heaven wouldn't give him the time of day.
“Now shoo- and no more sloppy behavior. I’ll be keeping an eye on each and every one of you.” Homelander dismissed them with a casual wave and a chuckle laced with another one of his thinly veiled threats.
As everyone, including little-miss-oblivious-you, got up to leave the meeting room, Homelander sauntered over to Noir, heartily slapping a heavy hand onto his back. “Earth to Noir! I know that look—thoughts a million miles away behind that sphinx-like mask of yours,” giving a sly little shrug, he slanted a meaningful look towards Noir’s codpiece. “But methinks, someone here isn’t as impenetrable as I thought…” A thin wry smile played his lips, a subtle hint at his x-ray vision allowing him to see a particular something-something of Noir’s that was currently just as hard as his body armor.
“It might do you good to line that suit with zinc. Wouldn't want any unwanted eyes peeking where they shouldn’t, do we?" An amused exhale, part sigh part snicker, slipped out of Homelander as his gaze swept over Noir once more.
True to form, all he received in turn was Noir’s standard muteness, as soundless as a grave.
Homelander eased the quiet with a huffed laugh, rocking back on his heels as he tilted his head in playful study of Noir. "But don't worry," he added with a knowing smirk, "it happens to the best of us. But do try to keep your head in the game! And not with your other one, ‘kay buddy?” Homelander jested in mock-reproach as he landed one last waggish, firm slap between Noir's shoulders, flashing his gleaming white yet eerily pointed grin.
Noir remained statue still, no hint of feeling betrayed by his rigid posture despite the toe-curling awkwardness of the encounter, or perhaps he'd yet to fully realize Homelander had peered within and seen his aching, raging hard-on behind the suit's facade.
Noir silently watched Homelander shoot two playful finger guns, his cape swirled shut behind him before leaving the room.
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Pssst- Likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated in this household and keep me motivated! <3
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Apologies if there are any grammatical errors here, cuz I’m alr so done with this fic 😭😭😭
#the boys#the boys fandom#the boys tv#the boys amazon#the boys series#the boys fanfic#the boys smut#the boys x y/n#the boys x you#the boys x reader#the boys black noir#black noir smut#black noir x you#black noir x reader#black noir#black noir fanfiction#homelander#the boys homelander#homelander fanfiction#john gillman#the boys show#the boys tv show#the boys tv series#black noir the boys#the boys x female reader#the boys drabble#nathan mitchell
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@veyette I’m so glad to see you have some thoughts so I hope it’s ok if I talk about them (because it is apparently my hobby at this point to write lengthy analysis responses to things.) :) <3 <3 After all, I did put it out there for discussion and to spread the brain rot. And don’t get me wrong I’m not even sure I’m fully on board with this headcanon, but I just thought it was interesting to consider.
So, if I may counter, respectfully, and I do mean that because everyone has a right to their own opinion (even if it’s wrong lol jk XD), I want to first talk about your first statement. I will be honest with you this was one of the first things I read this morning - “I don’t think it makes sense since it is actually very cruel and as much as I think c!dream suffered I don’t think the other people on the dsmp would put him through this kind of humiliation” - and it almost made me laugh (probably related to my 4 hrs of sleep lol). I probably shouldn’t find it funny given the context but… we are talking about server members who supported the brutal murder of a defenseless guy twice and a torture box as justice. And like obviously most of them didn’t know about the conditions and certainly most didn’t know about c!Quackity, but they still signed off on solitary confinement (a form of torture)… And to be fair, we can’t really be that surprised because isn’t that kinda what they supported with c!Tommy’s exile? I mean we are talking about a story where murder, blackmail, torture, pranks, destruction, war, robbery, arson are just a typical fun afternoon so I don’t think cruelty is as issue here. Especially, if we are talking about c!Tommy because we are talking about someone who literally used the remains of c!Dream’s dead pet to blackmail him and make fun of him. We are talking about someone who beat his own cat to death just because c!Dream admitted to caring about it. We are talking about someone who spent time starving in prison and still thought it was a justifiable treatment of another person. We are talking about someone who humiliated c!Dream in the Disc Finale after he had already surrendered and dragged out his deaths to a painfully slow degree while the rest of the members cheered him on. We are talking about someone who murdered c!Dream in the beginning when he was armor-less, over and over and then bragged about it. I don’t think humiliation nor cruelty are by any means out of c!Tommy’s wheelhouse. And I don’t find it hard to believe that Wilbur would slight him like this, I mean the L’manberg Declaration of Independence ends with “SUCK IT GREEN BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”… In regards, to Tubbo I mean he didn’t wear it around, which to be fair it is a really nice set of armor, and it is a victory so that would make sense. So maybe it does haunt him, which is why he sleeps better at night knowing exactly where it is. Knowing no one else will put on the haunting set. Oof yea that’s an interesting thought…I mean, paper seems like a bit of a jump, could it not just be made out of iron instead of netherite?… I mean I don’t know it’s an interesting point. Like are all of Dream’s helmets masks or just the netherite ones because netherite is a special material?……
(and ummm what?! That’s a thing?! I didn’t even know that was a headcanon for Exile and not gonna lie that’s kinda ridiculous and baseless, like to be fair, the mask headcanon is based in a canonical implication by c!Tommy so while not confirmed that it applies to the rest of the lore, it isn’t the most unreasonable conclusion to make. However, I find it absolutely wild that this Exile headcanon is even a thing, when is it at all referenced or implied Dream controlled what Tommy wore in Exile… like heh? Do I even want to ask about that nonsense (no yea actually I don’t even want to know). Come on y’all, now we are just really stretching to make Exile seem worse…yeesh…)
So, if in the finale c!Dream’s helmet, that he takes off for c!Tommy, represents his mask, does that mean that when c!Sapnap puts on c!Dream’s armor, Nightmare, he is putting on and stealing c!Dream’s mask? - Because I’m not gonna lie that really puts a new perspective on that betrayal… Furthermore, when c!Techno brings c!Dream armor in prison, did he make him a mask and bring it to him… and then take away the mask later? - If so, again that’s kinda screwed up. Though you could argue that perhaps he made c!Dream a mask for the jailbreak so he had one to face the server with and then because they were trying to not seem like allies he took it back, knowing that c!Dream would get another one. Which also begs the question, did c!Punz make c!Dream a mask for after prison or is he simply handing over one of c!Dream’s masks?… When c!Tommy in the minecart skirmish stole c!Dream’s armor, was he taunting him with his own mask? - Because oof that’s some serious violation and disrespect…
In other words, if you think that c!Dream’s helmet in the finale represents the mask (which I’d say is implied by c!Tommy) does that same logic apply across the board or is it just for that moment? And if it does apply to rest of the lore, wow does that have some implications…
#yes I did count how many ‘y’s#…..yes I am perfectly sane I do not know what you are talking about….#(if I got it wrong I blame being dyslexic…. XD lol)#this tommy headcanon is actually going to haunt me in my dream tonight like…. what?!….#c!dream and c!tommy#c!dream#c!tommy#dsmp dream#dmsp#dsmp analysis#dsmp#dsmpblr#cdream#c!discduo#cdiscduo#dreblr#let me cook#I really need to finish editing the autism essay so I can make all the other characters for bullying someone with technically disabilities.#lololol jk XD#did someone order an essay?#no? oops……. my bad :) <3#(tagging c!tommy and waiting for my execution when I wake up tomorrow lol :)……………….)#helmet = mask canon
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Eddie doesn't like sports.
Well, okay, that's not technically true. Growing up in the deep south left him with an ingrained interest in college football that he's not sure he'll ever be able to shake, but at least he can understand that game. He doesn't know a single fucking thing about hockey.
The rest of the guys had been excited when Chrissy said the band had been offered tickets to see the local NHL team. He was upset by how quickly he'd been outnumbered, but the boys had plied him with the promise of violence on ice, and that was enough to sooth the betrayal, at least a little.
Which is how he finds himself here, smushed between Chrissy and Gareth and not really as engaged as he should be, watching a bunch of men run around on the ice - sometimes literally, which is crazy. There has been a little violence though, so that's something at least.
Eddie blinks when Chrissy hands him a small dry erase board and a couple of markers that she pull from her bag. "What's this for?"
"You're famous, Eddie. The arena staff knows we're here, which means we're probably going to be on camera. I figured you could entertain yourself with some appropriate messages. Appropriate," she reiterates, and Eddie grabs at his chest like he's been shot.
"You wound me! As if I would ever deign to flash the cameras with a message that's anything less than the pinnacle of wholesome!"
Chrissy rolls her eyes but smiles - ever used to his dramatics by now - and just turns back to the game. Right, sometimes it's easy to forget that Chrissy is actually a sports person.
Eddie gets to work on his first message, not entirely sure when they're going to be the focus of the large screen above them. Chrissy glances over to see what he's writing and just sighs, and Eddie can't bite back his grin.
It's actually not too long before the announcer mentions something that isn't related to the game, and then-
"With nearly twelve million monthly listeners on Spotify, please welcome local metal band, Corroded Coffin!"
Eddie looks up to see their faces on the screen and grins as he turns his board around, showing off the LOOKIN 4 HUSBAND he's written in block letters. There's a mix of cheers and laughter from the crowd, and Eddie can't help but give a joking wink to the camera before he's laughing as well.
Chrissy smacks him on the arm and says "I can't believe you," but she's smiling as well. Eddie just shrugs and cleans the message from the whiteboard, freeing up space for him to doodle in between catching glances at the game.
It's a little bit later when a big fight breaks out, and a few players from each team are sent to the- box? The box. Eddie watches the big screen as the camera follows one of the players, tracking the man as he steps inside the little booth and rips his helmet off in frustration and- holy shit.
The guy is fucking stunning; his jaw, his nose, his sweat-damp hair and the beauty marks scattered across his skin like stars. Eddie wants to get closer, wants to know the color of his eyes and smooth the crease between his brows, wants to shove his fingers into that pretty, pink mouth-
And then the camera changes, going back to the players on the ice, and Eddie blinks like he's been released from a spell. He turns to Chrissy, one hand grabbing at her arm as he says "Who the fuck was that guy?"
Chrissy glances at him but keeps most of her attention on the game. "Harrington? He's literally the captain of our team, Eddie. I know you're not super into this, but that's kind of a hard thing to miss."
The man huffs a little as he releases Chrissy's arm. "I know literally jack-shit about this game, Chrissy, nothing is hard to miss."
Eddie takes the chance to re-write his white board before turning it to face outward, hoping that some cameraman will take pity on him and put him back on screen. He's not sure how long Harrington has in what is essentially timeout, but Eddie keeps his eyes on him all the same, glad that they're actually not too far away from the box.
It's a couple of minutes later when the announcer says "Looks like our friends Corroded Coffin have another message, this time for team captain Steve Harrington," and Eddie doesn't need to look to know that the screen is showing his new sign: #14 U R PRETTY. DATE?
He sees Harrington - Steve - look up, and watches as the frustration melts from his face, only for the prettiest pink blush to spread across his cheeks and ears. The guy laughs - and christ, Eddie didn't think he could get any more beautiful, but here he is - and doesn't hesitate to nod, even makes a little call me motion like he knows Eddie's watching him.
Eddie beams and nods back, laughs when the other player in the box shoves Steve playfully and makes a comment that deepens the blush on his face. He gets a couple of shoves and smacks from his own friends and a bewildered "I can't believe you just did that!" from Gareth.
Chrissy leans into him as he cleans the board again. "Hockey's not so boring now, is it?" she says, and Eddie can't help but agree, his eyes never leaving the ice - leaving Steve - for the rest of the game.
#inspired by that one video of bbno$#because it's so eddie coded#steddie#steddie ficlet#steve harrington#eddie munson#rockstar eddie munson#hockey player steve harrington#joey writes
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You’re sitting on the couch of your shared apartment when Jason climbs in through the window, finally done with patrol. His entrance makes you look up from your phone. He reaches up and tugs his helmet off. His hair looks a little funny, but it also made him look good. He didn’t need the ego boost though. You can tell he had an eventful patrol by the smile on his face.
He walks towards you and drops his hand onto your arm. He lets it slide down until his hand rests on yours. He pulls your hand to his lips in greeting. “Hey, princess.” He squeezes your hand before giving it back to you.
“How was patrol?” You watch as he strips off his outer layers of gear. The display never gets old.
“Good.” He laughs. “But I have got to tell you what happened. Red Robin, Tim, smacked into Red Robin, the restaurant. It was completely by accident too. I begged Babs to get me the camera footage. She’s searching as we speak.”
You laugh at his enthusiasm and the way he laughed before he even finished the story. You ask him questions, he answers them. It continues until he goes to take his shower.
You turn back to your phone. This is where it all goes wrong, because you see a post that ruins your day. It reads, “the first time most men receive flowers is at their funeral.”
Evil. Illegal. Unacceptable. Had you really never given Jason flowers before? You swore you did but your memory came up empty. By the time you finished your existential flower crisis, Jason finished showering and called you to bed. He’s exhausted and falls asleep quickly. You, however, stay awake and plan. You will get the love of your life flowers. You will not let the first time he receives flowers to be at his funeral. You fall asleep trying to decide what flowers he would like best.
You wake up before him, getting up as gently as possible. If he wakes up with you, he’ll trap you for cuddles in his huge beefy inescapable arms, so you must be careful. You wouldn’t have been able to do it if you didn’t know Jason as well as you do.
You get ready as silently and as quickly as possible before sliding out the door. The nearest flower shop isn’t too far. You make it there and back in 30 minutes, and most of that time was spent deciding what flowers you wanted to get Jason.
You walk home with a bouquet of simple red roses with some baby’s breath sprinkled in. It’s wrapped in black paper with a read bow, a color combination you’re sure he’ll love.
You walk home a little slower, careful not to disturb the flowers cradled in your arms. The long walk leaves you to your thoughts. You wonder how Jason will react.
And then you get worried. What if he thinks it’s weird? Jason has never called you weird unaffectionately before, but what if this is what does it? Or, even worse, what if he pretends to like them but actually thinks it’s weird? You spiral a little and panic. You eventually walk head first into your door on muscle memory.
You make sure the flowers are okay before opening the door. You hide the bouquet behind your back. To your surprise, Jason is awake and in the kitchen. His morning voice greets you with a smile. “Did you just walk into the door?”
Your worry begins to fade and a smile crawls its way onto your face. “Shut up.”
He laughs and the sound makes you blush. You love him. “You did!”
“And to think I was out getting you a present.” You shake your head.
“You got me a present?” He looks a like an excited puppy.
“I got my loving boyfriend a present. Let me know if you see him.” You pretend as if you’re about to walk out.
Jason rushes over to you smiling. “Wait, no! He’s right here! Please! I want my present!”
Before you can talk yourself out of it, you thrust the flowers at him. He takes them from you, his smile softening. “Do you like them?”
He leans forward and presses a kiss to your forehead. “What are these for? They’re beautiful. I love them.” You watch him feel the petals with a gentle smile that he can’t seem to help.
You tell him about the post you saw, and how you couldn’t let the first time he got flowers be at his funeral. He pauses. “Babe. I really love the flowers. Seriously. Best gift ever. But um. The first time I got flowers was at my funeral.” He watches your face.
You lift a hand and cover your mouth. “Oh my god.” He laughs and uses one had to hug to you to his chest.
“I really love the sentiment! It means a lot! I love them so much!” He smiles into your hair as you wrap your arms around him.
“That’s why I remember buying you flowers before but couldn’t remember giving them to you. I feel terrible.”
“Don’t. This was so sweet, seriously. If it wasn’t the ass crack of dawn, I would cry.”
You laugh. “It’s past noon.”
He huffs. “Same thing. We were up until like 4.”
“This is true,” you say. “I still feel so bad though. I can’t believe I forgot you had a funeral already.”
He laughs and you can feel it in his chest. “The idea was really sweet, princess. I love the flowers. You just made my day. Nay, my week.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, you running into the door really sealed the deal.”
You push on his chest. “I hate you.”
#saph’s thots#jason todd#jason todd x reader#red hood#red hood x reader#jason todd imagine#jason todd x you#red hood imagine#red hood x you#jason todd fluff#jason todd scenarios#red hood fluff#jason todd x reader fluff#red hood x reader fluff#fluff
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Your brain is massive and your opinions are correct. I fucking LOVE SA2 and Shadow bro 😭 Last time I revisited my Sonic era I was trying to unlock training mode in Shadow by A-ranking all the missions and bosses. SA2/Shadow/Sonic Heroes/Sonic Riders were the ones I replayed (and still do every couple of years) the most :)
my god PLEAAASSE THE TRAINING/EXPERT MODE IN SHADOW i love how the hints just fuck off and are replaced by the cast chattin with shadow.... like black doom the fuck are you doin talkin to me you are dead.... leave me alone.....
as a part of my All-326-Routes playthrough of shadow im SO stoked to unlock that mode again for the first time in like. A Decade... i've just been clearing out all the routes from the very top all the way down but i might just A-rank all the levels and routes first just to get the mode..
the adventure games + shadow are my faves to play honestly like as much as i still do like sonic games nowadays i just really enjoyed that 3d free-roaming aspect of the gamecube era games (and even 06: just wish it wasnt such a glitchy mess and i was more of a fan of the models/art style)
PLUS WITH THE ADVENTURE GAMES YOU HAVE THE CHAOS LIKE WHY DID THEY GET RID OF THEM BRING THEM BACK !!!!! THEY WERE SO CUTE
#snap chats#you cant escape Sonic Kid era like every couple years ill be like#'oh my god i have a gamecube that still works' and ill just replay all them games#Hot Take i did enjoy big's campaign.... idk..... maybe its cause his vibes are immaculate .. im glad he's in frontiers <3<3<3#im actually really stoked for the coming months because my fam and i've had sonic heroes for years right#but we only have it for the original xbox and we lost THAT a long while ago so i can't play it and it's just been taunting me all this time#BUT THEN I REMEMBER i am an adult with adult money. Sometimes. i can just buy my own gamecube copy#i have to start shilling my commissions more on twitter since i wanna get it before i go back to school#yk. so i can be a responsible student and play it when i have down time LMAO BUT EEEE IM SO EXCITED#yk whats a game i miss sooooo much tho.... i lost my copy of sonic chronicles....#I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW LIKE I STILL HAVE THE CASE i might just buy a new game card then....#that does mean ill have to start all over but.. thats ok.. sonic chronicles was SOO fun to me growing up.. i miss shade so much..#gen one of my fave sonic characters she was so cool and i loved her design and helmet so much#SPEAAAAKING OF ONE OFF CHARACTERS I MISS YK WHO I MISS THE MOST THO gamma.....#gamma was what introduced me to sad character stories i SWEAR LIKE THAT SHIT MADE ME SO SAD#i miss him eveyr day like i know he can never come back and that's a good thing cause Birdie's Parents Are OK BUT STILLLLL#my baby..... at least omega's here.... and he can threaten eggman every five minutes......#but when youre playing SA2 and you have to fight the robots modeled after gamma THATS SO EVIL STOP#UGH i love gamma sorry... but im not.. gamma was like. sega dippin their te into existentialism in sonic...#and then shadow was born LMAO tho i guess you can count metal sonic too if we wanna look at the sonic movie from the like. 90's#GOD I HOPE I STILL HAVE THAT DVD SOMEWHERE I LOVED THAT MOVIE SO MUCH GROWING UP it has the CUTEST artstyle#and knuckles' lil hat... ALSO METAL SONIC DYING AT THE END STOP when he bats sonic's hand away... metal bb come back...#and i mean at least he does but yk..... be nice to him..... he's going through a lot... he won't express it but i know he is...#OK SONIC RAMBLE DONE I SWEAR THANK YOU FOR WRITING IN ANON AND LETTING ME BE A DWEEB I JUST LOVE SONIC RAAAH#i have to end my ramble fr im running out of tags... now we'll never know of my chao gardens.......#OK BYE BYEEEE
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I LOVED YOU FIRST | FC43
an: guys i’m so sorry for the atrocities i’m about to cause by posting this, i’m especially tagging @obxstiles to make sure they don’t miss it and that they cry muahaha there MAY be a part two to this
summary: for as long as she’s remembered she’s loved franco, wether those feelings were ever reciprocated she doesn’t know.
wc: 4.4k
She remembered the sound of wheels against gravel. Even as a kid, Franco was fast—kicking up dust and stones as he went, all edges and adrenaline. They grew up on the same street, a road that was more dust than pavement, cutting through a small town nobody had ever heard of, deep in the countryside of Argentina. Back then, he raced down that road on a beat-up go-kart that rattled and threatened to fall apart with every turn. But he didn’t care. Even at eight years old, Franco could talk of nothing but cars and speed and the shimmering, impossible promise of a life far from here.
She was the one who stood at the end of the road, cheering him on as he came barreling toward her, heart in her throat every time he cut it too close. She told herself that’s just what friends did—waited around to see the other one make it back in one piece. But there was more to it, even then. She’d never told him, of course. Franco had always been too focused on the next race, the next finish line, to notice much about her that wasn’t familiar. It was easier that way. They were friends. That was enough.
Years passed, and with them, his childhood kart became a racing simulator, then an actual car, then a series of wins that only proved what she’d always known—that Franco was going somewhere.
Last year, his parents sold their house so he could go further, could reach another level she couldn’t quite see. He moved in with her and her family when he wasn’t racing, and for a few months, it was as if they were kids again, laughing late at night, plotting his future as he spilled out every dream he’d ever had. That was the year she started imagining he might finally see her the way she saw him.
But he didn’t.
Instead, Franco saw everything she wasn’t: the girl from another world, polished and magnetic, with a face and laugh that gleamed like the trophies he’d already started to collect. She caught him, snared him in a way that didn’t even seem real.
It was this girl—her name slipped off his tongue so easily when he let it—who went to the big events with him, who stood beside him when photographers crowded around after his races, a reminder that he’d already begun to belong somewhere else. She wanted to hate her, this stranger who was everything she wasn’t, but what good would it do?
It was easy to tell herself she was Franco’s friend. His best friend. The one who’d been there since the beginning, the one who stayed up with him on those late nights when all his dreams felt heavy enough to drown him. She’d learned to wear it like armour—the friend, the constant, the steady hand on his shoulder when his voice cracked and his confidence faltered.
No one else knew the small things about him, the things that made him human. Like how he had a superstition about not putting on his helmet until the very last second before a race. Or that his favorite thing in the world was the sound of tires on wet pavement, a soft hiss of rain and speed. Or that he used to dream of buying back the house his parents sold and giving them something better.
The nights she couldn’t sleep, she’d replay those memories to herself, like scenes from a film she’d seen too many times. They were pieces of a person she’d built up in her mind so completely, so painstakingly, that she sometimes forgot he wasn’t hers. Not really.
Now, Franco was leaving again, but this time it was different. The call had come last night, and she’d been there when he answered it, watching the way his face shifted, lit up with something she hadn’t seen since they were kids. He’d been invited to join a Formula 1 team—a chance to race against the best, a dream finally realised.
And she’d been the first person he told. “I’m in,” Franco had whispered to her after he hung up, his voice hoarse with disbelief. “I’m actually in.”
He’d pulled her into a hug, and for a fleeting moment, she let herself believe this moment was for her too—that she was a part of the dream. But when he finally let go, she could already feel him slipping away, his mind racing miles ahead, far beyond anything she could reach.
And now here they were, standing on the same dusty road they’d grown up on, only this time the road was empty. She could almost see his silhouette against the horizon, an outline that belonged to no one, not even her.
“So… this is it, huh?” she murmured, trying to keep her voice steady, her hands stuffed deep into her jacket pockets. She knew this was her job now: to be strong, supportive, even as she felt her chest tightening with everything she’d left unsaid.
Franco glanced over at her and smiled, that careless, easy grin she’d fallen in love with a thousand times. “Yeah. This is it.”
There was a part of her that wanted to say something, to tell him what it felt like to lose him, to have spent all these years beside him only to watch him walk away. But she didn’t, couldn’t. Because he needed her to be his friend, his rock. And that’s exactly what she would be, until the moment he disappeared from sight.
“You’ll be amazing out there,” she said softly, swallowing hard against the ache in her throat.
“Thanks,” Franco replied, his gaze drifting to the horizon, to whatever was waiting for him. He didn’t see her watching him, didn’t notice the way she tried to memorise every detail of his face, the way she gripped the fabric of her jacket so tightly her knuckles turned white.
Because that’s what she was: the person who stayed behind, the person who would cheer for him no matter how far he went, even if it took him far beyond her reach.
His first race was in Monza.
And Franco had made sure she’d be there.
The roar of engines echoed across Monza, the air thick with the metallic scent of fuel and adrenaline. She stood just outside the paddock, watching the mechanics scurry between cars, drivers in their fireproof suits weaving through a sea of engineers and cameras. It was Franco’s first Formula 1 race, the one he’d been chasing since the days they’d spent on that dusty street back home. He’d called her a week ago, saying he’d arranged for her ticket, that she had to be there, that it wouldn’t feel right without her.
She glanced down at her pass, fumbling with it between her fingers, her eyes darting over the crowds, wondering if she’d see him. But instead, she saw her—Franco’s girlfriend, standing just a few paces away, a beacon in the busy paddock with her polished, perfect smile.
She thought about turning around, slipping into the crowd where she could cheer Franco on from a distance, as she’d always done. But then Franco’s girlfriend caught her eye, waved her over with an easy, welcoming smile, and suddenly it was too late.
“Hi! You’re Franco’s best friend, no?” she said brightly, as if she’d been waiting for this meeting. “Franco’s told me all about you.”
She managed a smile, trying not to let her surprise show. “Nice to meet you,” she replied, her voice steady but her heart churning. This girl looked so effortlessly perfect—too perfect, really. She wanted to find something in her to resent, a crack, a flaw, some hint that would make her presence easier to bear. But the girl’s smile was warm, even gentle, and there wasn’t a hint of cruelty behind her eyes.
“You know,” she continued, turning to look at the track where the cars were being readied. “Franco always talks about how you’ve been there from the start. He says he wouldn’t be here without you.”
It was a sentiment she’d waited years to hear, but hearing it now, coming from someone else, made it feel empty, hollow. She nodded politely. “He’s worked so hard for this. I just… wanted to support him however I could.”
The girl looked at her, a spark of admiration in her eyes. “That’s really special. I think it means a lot to him, having someone who’s known him for so long.” She hesitated, her fingers twisting a ring on her hand. “I think he’s planning to introduce me to his family soon.”
A prickle of something sharp and painful settled in her chest. She managed to keep her face composed, even as the words sank in. “That’s great,” she said, injecting her voice with encouragement. “That sounds really important to him.”
The girl smiled, her gaze drifting as if she could see the future taking shape right in front of her. “Yeah… he said he wanted to wait until we’d been together for a year. He’s so thoughtful like that, you know? He really wants things to be right before introducing me to his family.” She looked at her, a touch of gratitude in her expression. “I think he got that from you—from seeing how much his family means to you.”
It was a kind thing to say, too kind. She wanted to hate her for it, but she couldn’t. There was nothing false about the way this girl looked at her, no jealousy or possessiveness. She was just… nice. The kind of nice that made her ache with the unfairness of it all, because it made it impossible to hate her, even though she desperately wanted to.
“Well, his family will love you,” she said, meaning it even as the words felt like they were tearing something fragile inside her. “He deserves to be happy.”
The girl gave her a soft, almost sympathetic smile, a smile that made her wonder if maybe she already knew—if she could see right through her, if she understood the look in her eyes, the one she tried so hard to hide.
As the engines started up in the distance, the girl reached out and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Thank you,” she said, her voice warm. “For being there for him, for being his friend. I can tell he’s lucky to have you in his life.”
She returned the smile, feeling a heaviness settle deep within her. Franco was lucky, that was true—but not in the way she’d once dreamed he might be. He had everything now: the career, the future, the love of a woman who deserved him in ways she never could.
And as the cars roared to life on the track, she stood there beside his girlfriend, feeling like a silent ghost on the edges of his new world. She would cheer for him, just as she always had, but now she knew exactly where she stood—at a distance, a quiet fixture in his past, cheering him on from the shadows as he sped toward a future that had no place for her.
The race had ended hours ago, and the hotel was hushed, the lights dimmed in the halls. She was alone in her room, her suitcase half-packed, clothes folded neatly on the bed. She’d changed her flight back to Argentina; she would be gone by morning.
The evening had been a whirlwind—Franco finishing in P12 on his debut race, his crew and his girlfriend embracing him, his face beaming in a way she’d only ever dreamed of seeing up close. She’d stood in the background, clapping politely, just another face in the crowd, happy for him but feeling her heart splinter with each cheer.
A quiet knock broke her thoughts. She looked up, heart catching in her throat. Franco was standing in the doorway, his face lit with a warm smile.
“Hey,” he said, stepping inside, his hands in his pockets. “I was hoping you’d still be up.”
“Yeah, just… packing,” she murmured, glancing at the clothes on her bed. “I’ve got an early flight back.”
He frowned, like he hadn’t expected her to be leaving so soon. “I thought you’d stay a bit longer,” he said, a hint of disappointment in his voice. “It meant a lot to me that you were here, you know. I’m not sure I could have done it without you.”
She swallowed, trying to muster up a smile. “I’m proud of you, Fran. Really. You deserve all of this.”
He gave a modest shrug, his usual humility shining through. “It’s crazy, right? Like, it still doesn’t feel real.”
She nodded, unsure of what to say next, her hands clenching as she watched him, the words fighting to break free. But before she could speak, he went on, his face lighting up with excitement.
“Oh—and I wanted to tell you. Over the summer break, I’m planning to bring my girlfriend—” he gestured to the wall, where his girlfriend was probably just sitting in their shared room—“back to Argentina. She’s going to meet my family. I think they’ll love her.”
The words hit her like a punch to the gut. She felt herself unraveling, her heart breaking open. She couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“Why her?” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
Franco blinked, looking at her, startled. “What do you mean?”
“Why her, Franco?” She repeated, her voice trembling, louder this time. “Why not me? What is it about me that you don’t find appealing? Am I too loud? Too… different? Do I not fit into your world somehow?” Her voice cracked, the weight of her words finally spilling out. “What is it about me that you don’t love, that you love about her?”
For a moment, he just stared, taken aback, as if he was seeing her for the first time, really seeing her. But his eyes were filled with confusion, like he was trying to make sense of what she was saying.
“Wait—” he started, his voice halting, uncertain. “I… I didn’t know you felt—”
She cut him off, her voice fierce, raw. “I loved you first, Franco.”
He went silent, the words settling between them like stones in water, sinking deeper and deeper.
“What?” he whispered, his voice almost as quiet as hers had been.
“I loved you first,” she repeated, her voice shaking. She could feel the tears gathering, but she didn’t want to cry, not now, not here. “Since we were kids, since you were that crazy kid racing down dirt roads, I loved you. I’ve been there every step, every race, every victory, every failure. I was the one who held your dreams when they felt too heavy to carry. I loved you first.”
She watched him, waiting, hoping for some sign of understanding, some glimmer of the love she’d imagined so many times. But his eyes were wide with shock, his face torn between pity and discomfort.
He shook his head slowly, the words seeming to catch in his throat before he finally managed to say them. “But… I love her.”
The words were a knife, sharp and relentless, cutting through the last fragments of hope she’d held on to.
She let out a hollow, broken laugh, her vision blurring as she looked away, unable to meet his eyes. “I know,” she whispered. “I know you do.” She took a shaky breath, her voice trembling with a rawness she couldn’t contain. “But it doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
For a moment, they stood there in silence, the weight of years pressing down between them. She could see the guilt etched into his expression, his mouth opening as if he wanted to say something to make it better. But there was nothing he could say—nothing that could change the reality that he had chosen someone else, someone who wasn’t her.
“I never meant to… I didn’t want to hurt you,” he said softly, reaching out as if to comfort her, but she stepped back, her arms wrapping around herself protectively.
“It’s fine,” she said, forcing the words out, feeling them scrape against her throat. “I… I just needed you to know. I needed you to know that I was here, that I’ve always been here. But now…” She trailed off, her voice breaking, the words she’d held for so long finally running dry.
She looked at him one last time, memorising the shape of his face, the boy she had loved and lost long before he ever realised. Then sat back down on the floor and continued packing, folding each piece of clothing and putting it away in silence, each one a silent goodbye.
When she noticed he still hadn’t left, that he was just watching him, she looked up at him. “I hope she makes you happy, Franco,” she whispered, her voice barely a breath. “Really. I hope she gives you everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”
She looked back down not wanting to catch Franco’s look of pity and closed her suitcase as he walked out of her room.
Walking out of her life for what felt like forever.
It was the peak of summer, the air heavy with heat and the scents of wildflowers and sun-baked earth drifting through the open kitchen window. She was sitting at the table, picking absently at a bowl of sliced fruit, half-listening as her mother hummed while tidying up, when her mother paused and gave her a look she couldn’t quite decipher.
“I almost forgot to mention,” her mother said, wiping her hands on a towel, “Franco’s coming back to town soon. Said he’ll be here next week with his girlfriend, so they can meet his family.”
She looked down, letting the words sink in, feeling a familiar tightness bloom in her chest. She hadn’t spoken to Franco in weeks. Not since that night in Monza. Not since she’d finally let herself say all the things she’d bottled up for years, only to walk away feeling like she’d left a part of herself behind.
“Oh,” she murmured, keeping her tone as light as she could. “That’s… that’s good. His parents will be thrilled to meet her.”
Her mother looked at her carefully, her gaze soft but probing, as if she could sense the ache that lingered beneath her daughter’s casual words. “I thought maybe you’d be excited too,” her mother ventured, her voice gentle. “It’s been a long time since you’ve seen him.”
She forced a small smile, looking down at her hands as she fiddled with her napkin. “Actually, I was thinking about going to Buenos Aires for a bit. Just a week or two with Tía Blanca. I’ve been meaning to go see her.”
Her mother tilted her head, her expression somewhere between sympathy and exasperation. “You can’t keep running from this, mi amor,” she said, her voice tender but firm.
Her shoulders tensed, and for a moment, she didn’t know what to say. She knew her mother was right; every time she thought about seeing Franco, the old wound seemed to ache again, still raw, still fresh, no matter how many miles or weeks lay between them. But she wasn’t ready to face him yet. Not when the sight of him with someone else would only reopen everything she’d been trying so hard to let go of.
“I know I can’t keep running,” she said finally, her voice barely a whisper, her fingers twisting the napkin in her lap. “But I can now. And I can cope with that.”
Her mother sighed softly, reaching out to place a warm hand over hers. “Mi amor, one day, you’re going to have to stop protecting yourself from the things that hurt you. It’s the only way to truly move forward.”
She nodded, her throat tight, unable to meet her mother’s eyes. She knew her mother was right. But all she could think of was that moment in Monza, the echo of Franco’s words—But I love her. Words that still stung like salt on an open wound, even now.
“Maybe one day,” she whispered, more to herself than to her mother. But for now, Buenos Aires felt like the safest place to be—far from the memories, far from the impossible hope she still carried in her heart.
Her mother squeezed her hand gently before letting go, her silence filled with understanding. “Then go,” she said, with a small, knowing smile. “But you’ll know when it’s time to come home.”
And as she sat there, her heart heavy with everything she couldn’t say, she only hoped her mother was right.
A few days later, everything was sorted and she was ready to go to her aunt’s place.
She swung her bag over her shoulder, taking a deep breath as she stepped out of the house, the warm morning sun casting long shadows across the familiar dirt road. She was just two steps away from the car when she spotted it—Franco’s car, parked at the edge of the drive.
Her heart lurched, her mind scrambling, and she muttered under her breath, “No, no, no… please, not now.” She moved quickly toward her own car, fumbling for her keys as if speed alone could make her invisible. But before she could open the door, she heard his voice behind her.
“Oye, there you are!” he called, a wide, relieved smile on his face as he jogged over, his voice bright with the kind of joy she hadn’t heard from him in years. “I was hoping I’d run into you before you left. It’s been too long.”
She barely managed to keep her face neutral, clutching her bag as if it could shield her. “Yeah, well, I’ve got to get on the road. Don’t want to get stuck in traffic,” she said, opening the boot to toss her bag inside. She avoided looking at him, focusing on the small tasks—closing the boot, brushing off her hands, reaching for the door.
He took a step closer, his hand resting on the car door as if to keep her from leaving. “I’ve missed you,” he said, his tone softening. “You… you didn’t answer my calls after Monza. I didn’t know if… I just wanted to see you.”
She swallowed hard, glancing away as she forced herself to stay calm, the last words she wanted to hear sitting heavy between them. “That’s great, Franco,” she said, barely meeting his gaze, her words quick and mechanical. “But I really should get going.”
“Wait—” He looked at her, his expression slipping from surprise to concern. “Can we talk? Please?”
But she was already climbing into the car, her hands gripping the steering wheel as she turned the ignition. She couldn’t bear to stay, couldn’t bear to let him see her break again. “Take care, Franco,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper as she closed the door.
Before he could say another word, she pulled out, the tires kicking up dust as she drove away. In the rearview mirror, she saw him standing in the drive, watching her go, his face a mix of confusion and something close to sadness. She looked away, swallowing the lump in her throat as she focused on the road ahead.
But the further she drove, the harder it became to ignore the weight of all the memories tied to each familiar street and turn. Every signpost, every curve of the road reminded her of him—their childhood spent racing bikes and kicking up dust, lazy afternoons wandering these streets, dreaming of the future he was now living.
Tears blurred her vision as she drove, the memories rushing in like floodwaters, filling her mind with images she’d tried so hard to push aside: Franco at fourteen, laughing as he beat her in yet another race down the hill; Franco, younger still, sharing a quiet moment in the field just beyond town, his eyes bright with the dreams they’d both carried.
She wiped at her eyes, her heart aching as each memory pulled her further into the past, a past where they’d been inseparable, a past where she hadn’t yet realised what loving him truly meant. She could almost hear his laughter, feel his presence beside her, as if he were still the boy she’d known, before life had pulled them down different paths.
By the time she reached her aunt’s building in Buenos Aires, the weight of the drive had started to lift, the city’s pulse a welcome distraction from the quiet countryside. She parked and took a moment to gather herself, feeling the ache from earlier settle into something softer, something that no longer felt as urgent or raw.
Just as she opened the car door, a familiar voice called out.
“¡Mira! Is that really you?”
She looked up, startled, and felt her heart lift slightly. Standing by the curb was Angelo, an old friend from summers in the city. He had the same easy smile, his hair a little longer, his build a little broader, but his presence felt exactly as she remembered—warm and solid.
“Angelo!” She smiled, the weight on her shoulders easing just a little more.
He walked over, giving her a friendly hug before reaching into the car to help with her bag. “Let me help. You’re here for a visit?”
“Just two weeks,” she replied, trying to keep her voice steady as she glanced up at the familiar apartment building, a place that held a lifetime of summers, laughter, and memories untouched by the pain she’d left behind.
“Well, then,” he said, grinning as he hefted her bag easily, “we’ve got time to catch up.” His tone was light, but there was something else in his eyes, a quiet warmth that made her feel unexpectedly hopeful.
She followed him up the steps, comforted by his familiarity and the steady, unhurried way he moved, like he knew every corner of this building as well as she did. As they reached her aunt’s door, she felt her pulse slow, steadied by his presence.
The door opened before they could knock, her aunt’s familiar face breaking into a radiant smile. “There you are, mi niña!” She hugged her tightly, then turned to Angelo with a knowing smile. “And look who brought you all the way to the door! Angelo, you’re a sweetheart.”
He grinned, shrugging. “Anything for your family, señora.”
They all laughed, and for the first time in months, she felt a genuine ease settle over her, as if she’d left more than just a town behind—she’d left the weight of everything she’d been carrying.
As she glanced between her aunt and Angelo, the ache that had gripped her chest all day faded. The streets of Buenos Aires were bright outside the door, warm and humming with life. She breathed it in, feeling herself begin to let go of everything that had haunted her on that long drive.
Because maybe now that she was here, she could forget Franco.
to be continued…?
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