#you know what they are though? fictional.
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wreckage - charles leclerc (2/4)
୨ৎ : pairing : charles leclerc x wife!reader ୨ৎ : synopsis : after a devastating crash, you’re left to face the hardest decisions of your life as charles fights for his.
୨ৎ : genre : emotional fiction, very... very... emotional ୨ৎ : tws : car accident/injury, arguments/conflict, anxiety/panic, trauma, medical trauma. ୨ৎ : wc : 1448
part one | part two | part three | part four
They say you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. But that doesn’t stop the crushing reality from setting in, from stealing the breath out of your lungs and leaving you with nothing but a pit in your stomach.
The adrenaline’s worn off now. The chaos of the crash—the sound of metal twisting, the screeching tires, the moment when everything went still—has settled into a steady, numbing dread. The pit in your stomach isn’t just from fear, it’s from the void where your thoughts should be. You don’t know what’s coming next. You’re not even sure if you’re prepared for it.
Charles isn’t here.
Charles isn’t in the room with you.
You glance at your phone again, eyes scanning for any update, any piece of news that tells you he’s okay. There’s nothing. Just the same cold silence. You dial his team again, and again, and again. But no one answers. His car was mangled—wrecked beyond recognition, but the worst part? The worst part is that no one can give you any real answers. No one can tell you if he’ll come back to you, or if that’s a question you should stop asking.
You feel like you're caught in a never-ending loop, the crash replaying over and over in your mind. Every time you hear his name on the news, every time you see another mention of the race, it stabs you like a fresh wound.
“Is there any word?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper, though you’ve asked the question a hundred times already.
One of the nurses glances at you, but it’s not the answer you need. They’re all running on autopilot, no one daring to face the gravity of what’s happening.
A few hours later, you get the call. It’s brief, clinical, distant. They’re transferring him to the hospital for further tests, and you need to come now. You don’t even bother with a response. You just grab your coat, your purse, and run.
When you get to the hospital, you’re not prepared for what you’re about to see. You’ve spent all this time worrying about him, and now that you’re here, you don’t know how to be ready for the reality.
They rush you through sterile hallways, and the air feels thick, suffocating. The nurses are too quiet, too busy to offer reassurance. You don’t need their words. You need him.
The surgery’s been a blur. A series of technical terms, each more frightening than the last. Internal injuries. Organ failure. The adrenaline that was keeping him stable starts to wear off. Everything’s urgent, but no one tells you what’s going to happen. No one tells you that he might not make it through.
His mother arrives as you’re sitting in the waiting area, your fingers anxiously twisting the hem of your sleeve. She doesn’t need to say anything. You can see it in her eyes. She’s feeling the same crushing weight of uncertainty that you are. You stand, not knowing what to say, not knowing if there’s anything to say.
“How is he?” she asks, her voice cracking before the words are even out.
“They’re still working on him,” you answer, though you don’t know much. You don’t know anything. “They said it’s critical. I... I don’t know if he’s going to make it through.”
Her face falls, and she takes a deep breath. You want to say something, anything to reassure her, but you can’t. You don’t know what to believe anymore. The fear inside of you keeps growing, pressing against your ribs like a weight you can’t lift.
The door to the surgery room opens, and the doctor steps out. His face is pale, his expression tight.
“Is he...?” you ask, your voice trembling before the question even forms. You can’t bring yourself to finish it.
“He’s stable for now, but his condition is still critical,” the doctor explains. “We’re doing everything we can, but the next few hours are going to be crucial. The adrenaline kept his body from fully going into shock. It’s buying us time, but there’s a chance that time won’t be enough.”
You feel the ground slip away beneath you as his words sink in. “What does that mean? Is he going to be okay?”
“We’ll know more in a few hours, but we’re monitoring his organs. There’s significant internal damage.” He pauses, searching for something to say. Something comforting. “He’s a fighter. We’ll keep doing everything we can.”
You nod, though the words don’t mean anything to you. Fighters don’t always win. You know that. The only thing you can do is wait. But it feels like the waiting is the hardest part.
His mother looks at you, her eyes pleading, her lips trembling. “What do we do now?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
You’re not prepared to make these decisions. You’re his wife, but you never thought you’d be here, making these life-or-death calls. This isn’t supposed to be your responsibility. You want to ask his mother what to do, but you can’t. She doesn’t have the answers. She’s just as lost as you are.
“I don’t know,” you whisper back, feeling the weight of it all settling on your shoulders.
She looks at you with a deep sadness in her eyes. “You’re his wife. It’s your decision now.”
Those words hit you like a punch to the gut. You’re supposed to know. You’re supposed to know what he’d want, what the right choice is. But you don’t. How can you possibly know what to do when everything feels so out of control?
You want to run, want to disappear, but you can’t. Charles is still fighting. He’s still here, and that’s all you have. You can’t walk away from that.
As the hours drag on, you’re taken to see him. The room is sterile, cold. It’s not the hospital room you imagined. It’s nothing like that. It’s a place of quiet chaos, where everything hangs in the balance.
Charles is unconscious, tubes and wires running everywhere. His skin is pale, his face bruised. The doctors said he was conscious for a moment, but he’s out again, too weak to keep his eyes open.
You sit by his side, taking his hand gently, trying to feel his warmth through the coldness of the hospital room. You whisper his name, but there’s no response.
“He’s in there,” you tell yourself. You have to believe that. You can’t let go. Not yet.
Minutes pass, and still, nothing. His pulse steady on the monitor, but that’s the only sign that he’s still here. The rest of it is just a waiting game. You’ve been here before, waiting for someone you love to wake up, to come back to you, but it’s never been like this.
It’s never been this uncertain, this terrifying.
Charles is still here, but you know that might not be the case for long. The waiting is unbearable. Every beep of the heart monitor is both a reminder that he’s still alive and a warning that it could change at any moment.
As the nurse enters to check on him, you hold his hand tighter, unwilling to let go, unwilling to believe that this could be it.
“How long?” you ask her, barely able to look at the machines, not sure you want to know.
“It’s hard to say,” she replies softly. “He’s stable, but his condition is still critical. If we don’t see improvement soon, we might need to make... more decisions.”
That word. Decisions. What decisions? You’re left with nothing but the silence, the uncertainty. The questions. The waiting.
As the hours stretch on, and the doctor makes his rounds again, you finally hear the words you’ve been dreading. “There’s no improvement. We might need to consider...” He doesn’t finish the sentence, but you hear what he means. The fear inside you rises, a growing lump in your throat. The worst-case scenario is beginning to feel more real with each passing second.
Everything is slipping away, and you don’t know how to hold on.
You sit in the chair, staring at Charles, your mind racing with fear and doubt. You want to hope, you want to pray, but it feels like hope is a fragile thing, easily crushed by the weight of reality. The fight’s not over yet, but you’re starting to wonder if it ever will be.
“I’m here,” you whisper again, to him, to yourself. “I’m not going anywhere.”
But somewhere deep inside, you know. You know that the decision you’re dreading might be just around the corner, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
taglist: @emryb , @htpssgavi , @aleatorio1234 , comment to be added
© 2024 jungwnies | All rights reserved. Do not repost, plagiarize, or translate.
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc prompt#charles leclerc blurb#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc imagines#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fanfiction#charles leclerc cute#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x yn#charles leclerc x female reader#f1 smut#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#formula 1#f1 instagram au#fanfiction#formula one#𐐪♡︎₊˚ ― jungwnies
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I was thinking that the other after reading a yet another discussion about how women didn't have any sex drive nor phantasm because it wasn't in our evolutionary nature as a mean to reproduction. You the usual "only male orgasm is necessary"... as if nature gave a damn about only giving pleasure center to the beings with semen or had any write in stone logic about reproduction. But I digress.
So while all those men debate on why it wasn't technically possible for female to, you know, like sex, or anything related to it, the same way men did (as an argument as to why it was more difficult for men to control their libido), I though: "Does any of those weirdos not realize that the erotic industry is literally dominated by women consumers. That most of fandoms shipping and fanfics are in majority carried and created by girls and women, which HIGHLY contribute to the success of a media, as the more they are involved in said fandom, the more likely it will gain popularity. That there is an entire genre (Yaoi) catering to the ladies pornographic and erotic interest and that in any bookstore, the entire erotic section is practically entirely sold to a female audience?"
And it isn't just the naughty side of fandom/media. I cannot prove it because it is anonymous, but I convinced that AO3 is mainly composed of a female community, that is on the author side than in the readers side. Every time, I read one fan fic I can tell from the way it is written that a woman is being it. Women have always been the most efficient silent marketer of all those medias and when I read guys saying women don't understand anything about video game and fake interest into, I am thinking that if I type said game on the Google search engine, I know that all the fan merch and creation I will find will be mainly done by girl. Or queer people, because their community is also a big factor into that underground marketing. And I am a bit tired of this hypocrite view. Producer and big studios keep on saying that things that could cater to a female (and/or a queer) audience will not work, because, in fact, they are afraid that it will chase away their precious male consumers if the latter hear it isn't just for them. They think only their view matter so they choose to completely ignore what the real demographic of a fandom is really made of. It is the equivalent of an immature boy club that have build a tree house with a "no girl allowed" sign: If girls were not talking about it, that treehouse would lose its interest in a week. That is why they continue to do marketing survey with teenage boys (and when they do create stuff that is based on it, it is usually a flop) instead of expending to the entire human population. And when they do on piece of media they claim to be for everyone, they made so insanely badly without much effort to let people know about its existence, which they use afterward as an excuse to go back to their usual way because "obviously it isn't working."
Leading to douchebags claiming afterward the "females" do not and cannot enjoy media nor have elaborate taste of it, the way males do, because they cannot project nor comprehend the deepness and multilayer of a fiction. As they are creature of present, therefore their brain can't imagine meaning beyond concrete representation; that they can even understand that two actors not really related by blood in real life can play member of the same family on screen. thus, they only pretend to be interest to attract the male attention. this is pretty toxic and I would really like it to end.
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Whole Package, Babe, I Like The Way You Fit
Summary: Holiday beach trip with Pedro and friends.
Or, that one new Pedro shirtless pic…
Paring: Pedro Pascal x F!Reader
Warnings: Established Relationship, TOOTH-ROTTING FLUFF, Slight Nudity, Slight Angst, Swearing, Anxiety, Cheesy Dialogue, Romance, Kissing, Real People Fiction, Cameras, Paparazzi, Social Media, Beach Trip, Light Blood, Scratch, Ocean, Swimming, Swimwear, Shirtless Pedro, Light SMUT, Spicy, Sweet, Implied SMUT, Banter, Idk Spanish so the terms might be wrong but I'm trying my best
Word Count: 4.6k
A/N: The mf decided to give us shirtless Pedro and suddenly I have the will to live again LMAO. Weirdly enough, I am also at the beach while writing this so it’s kinda a funny coincidence… Imagine if we were at the same beach, that would be so funny (He can never know my existence I might die.)
No one ask me how I knew what hotel they were staying at. I scare myself too dw.
Side note: I’m dyslexic and English isn’t my first language! So I apologize in advance for the spelling and/or grammatical errors. As always, reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated. Thank you and happy reading!
Song: Juno by Sabrina Carpenter
| Main Masterlist |
HOTEL ESENCIA, MEXICO — DAY
The warm tropical breeze carried the salty tang of the ocean as you stepped onto the soft, powdery sand of the secluded beach Pedro’s friends had chosen for the Christmas getaway. The sun kissed your skin, palm trees swayed lazily overhead, and the gentle rhythm of waves provided the perfect soundtrack for a holiday escape.
The group—Lauren Alexander, Brandan Campbell, Omar Apollo, and Pedro’s ever-charismatic agent, Franklin Latt—had already claimed a prime spot near the water. Lounge chairs were lined up under brightly colored umbrellas, a massive cooler sat brimming with ice and drinks, and Omar was enthusiastically attempting to set up a speaker while humming the latest tune stuck in his head.
Pedro lagged a few steps behind you, carrying your beach bag and his, though his attention wasn’t on the task. It was on you.
When you shrugged off your airy cover-up, revealing a stunning red bikini that hugged your curves just right, Pedro froze mid-step. His sunglasses couldn’t hide the way his jaw tightened or how his eyes darkened as they roamed over you.
“Everything okay there?” you teased, tilting your head as you caught him staring.
Pedro blinked, visibly gathering himself. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.” He cleared his throat, but his gaze didn’t waver. “More than fine.”
You smirked, adjusting the straps of your bikini for good measure. “You’re staring.”
“Can you blame me?” he shot back, taking a step closer. His voice dipped, low and husky. “You look... breathtaking.”
A flush crept up your neck, but you refused to let him win so easily. “Not too bad yourself,” you quipped, lightly poking his chest. His white linen shirt was unbuttoned just enough to reveal a tantalizing hint of his tan skin and the gold chain that rested against his collarbone.
Pedro chuckled, the sound warm and intimate. “If I’d known you’d be wearing this, I’d have hired a bodyguard to keep everyone else from looking.”
“Oh, please,” you replied, rolling your eyes but unable to stop the grin tugging at your lips. “I’m here with you, aren’t I?”
He leaned in, his hand brushing against your waist as he planted a soft kiss on your forehead. “Stop being so cute, or I might never let you leave my sight,” he murmured.
“Is that a promise or a threat?” you teased, your voice playful but your heart racing.
“Both,” he said, his grin widening as he pulled back to admire you once more.
From nearby, Omar let out a loud whistle. “Pedro, are you gonna stand there all day, or are you gonna help us with this speaker? Some of us want to vibe to music!”
Pedro groaned, turning reluctantly toward the group but throwing an arm around your shoulders as he led you over. “Fine, but only because she’s coming with me,” he called out, earning a round of laughter.
As you settled into the setup, the sun beamed overhead, and the carefree energy of the group was infectious. Pedro stayed close, his arm brushing yours as you helped Lauren unpack snacks, and his eyes never strayed far from you.
At one point, Franklin handed you a coconut with a straw and a cheeky smile. “Best way to stay hydrated,” he said, winking.
“Cheers,” Pedro said, clinking his coconut against yours. He took a sip before leaning closer, his breath warm against your ear. “But if you spill even a drop, I’m licking it off you.”
Your cheeks burned as you nearly choked on your drink. “Pedro!” you hissed, swatting at him.
He grinned, unapologetic. “What? I’m just being practical.”
The day unfolded in easy laughter and warmth, with the sun high overhead and the turquoise ocean sparkling like a field of diamonds. Pedro carried you on his back through the shallows, his hands gripping your thighs as you pretended to be his commanding officer.
“Faster, soldier!” you commanded, leaning forward and tugging gently at his ears as if steering him.
“Ma’am, yes, ma’am!” he called back, mock-serious but laughing as he jogged through the water, sending small waves splashing around you both. “Anything else, ma’am? Should I do some push-ups in the sand too?”
You grinned wickedly. “Push-ups? I’d like to see you try—with me on your back.”
Pedro stopped abruptly, twisting his head to glance at you with a raised brow. “Oh, you think I can’t?”
“I know you can’t,” you teased, leaning down to press your cheek against his.
He smirked, suddenly spinning in place. “You’re asking for it now.”
Before you could protest, he dropped into the water with a dramatic splash, sending you tumbling off his back and into the cool embrace of the ocean.
“Pedro!” you shrieked, surfacing with a gasp and pushing your wet hair out of your face.
He was already laughing, standing a few feet away with his hands on his hips, his soaked hair plastered to his forehead. “That’s what you get for doubting my strength!”
“Oh, you’re so dead!” you shouted, lunging toward him.
Pedro yelped playfully, backpedaling but not fast enough. You caught his arm, laughing as you pulled him down into the water with you. The two of you wrestled like kids, splashing and laughing so hard your stomach hurt.
“Truce! Truce!” he called out, holding up his hands in surrender as you pelted him with another wave of water.
“Do you admit defeat?” you demanded, a triumphant grin on your face.
“Never!” he declared, darting forward to grab your waist. Before you could react, he lifted you effortlessly, spinning you around in the water.
“Pedro!” you shrieked, laughing and trying to wriggle free.
“You wanted a soldier,” he said, his voice full of mischief, “and now you’ve got one!”
You finally stopped struggling, letting your arms drape around his shoulders as he held you close. The laughter faded into something softer, the two of you catching your breath as you stood chest-deep in the water.
His hands slid down to your hips, steadying you as he gazed at you with a look that made your heart flutter. “You’re beautiful, you know that?” he murmured, his voice low and intimate.
The way he said it, like it was a simple truth he’d always believed, made your cheeks warm despite the cool water. “You’re just saying that because I’m soaked and ridiculous-looking,” you replied, biting back a smile.
“No,” he said, leaning in so his forehead pressed against yours. “I’m saying it because it’s true.”
Your breath hitched as his lips brushed against yours, soft and hesitant at first, like he was savoring the moment. The kiss deepened quickly, his arms pulling you closer until there was no space between you.
When you pulled back for air, Pedro’s eyes were dark, his lips slightly swollen from the kiss. “You’ve got this effect on me,” he admitted, his voice husky.
“Oh yeah?” you teased, though your voice wavered with the same breathless energy.
“Yeah,” he said, leaning in to kiss you again, his hands sliding up your back. “And I never want it to go away.”
For a while, the rest of the world melted away. You stayed there, wrapped in each other’s arms, the ocean rocking gently around you. He kissed you like he was memorizing every detail, every taste, and you couldn’t help but smile against his lips, feeling completely and utterly adored.
At one point, he pulled back just enough to whisper, “If this is what it feels like to surrender, I’m never fighting again.”
You laughed, threading your fingers through his damp hair. “I think I like you defeated.”
“And I think I like you here, in my arms,” he replied softly, his lips brushing against your temple.
The sound of your friends laughing and splashing in the distance barely registered. For now, it was just you and Pedro, lost in a world of sunlit kisses and salty skin, the ocean your only witness.
The group gathered in a loose circle, each person holding a large green coconut decorated with colorful straws and tiny paper umbrellas. The warm, golden light of the late afternoon sun bathed everything in a soft glow, making the moment feel like a scene out of a postcard. Omar crouched to capture the perfect angle with his camera while Lauren struck a dramatic pose, tilting her head back and raising her coconut like it was a chalice of the gods.
“Lauren, you’re doing the most,” Franklin said, shaking his head but smiling as he adjusted his sunglasses.
“Darling, I am the most,” Lauren shot back with a wink, drawing laughs from everyone.
Pedro, standing just behind you, pulled you snugly against his side, his arm wrapped securely around your waist. “C’mon, let’s show them how it’s done,” he murmured in your ear, his warm breath sending a shiver down your spine.
Franklin, standing in front with his phone, held it up. “Okay, lovebirds, your turn. Smile for the camera!”
You turned your face toward Pedro’s at the exact same moment he turned toward you, and the laughter bubbled up before either of you could stop it. Your foreheads bumped lightly, and you both dissolved into giggles, the kind of uncontainable joy that made your chest feel light.
“Oh, my god,” Lauren groaned theatrically, pointing at the two of you. “Are they even real? Look at them, they’re in their own damn rom-com!”
“Y’all are embarrassing,” Omar chimed in, snapping pictures anyway. “But keep doing whatever that is because it’s disgustingly cute.”
Pedro’s grin widened as he tilted his head toward you, his nose brushing against yours. “You’re ridiculous,” you said through your laughter, feeling your cheeks warm under the attention.
“And you’re perfect,” Pedro replied, his voice low but playful, the corners of his mouth lifting into a smirk.
Franklin groaned loudly, still holding up his phone. “For the love of all things holy, just kiss her already! We’re trying to make memories here, not watch a slow-burn romance unfold in real-time!”
Pedro raised an eyebrow, glancing at the group before looking back at you with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “What do you think, Hermosa? Should we give them what they want?”
You laughed, pretending to ponder. “Hmm… maybe. But only if you make it a good one.”
“Challenge accepted,” Pedro whispered, and then his lips were on yours, soft but sure. The kiss was sweet and unhurried, the kind that made everything around you fade into the background.
“Oh my god, they’re actually doing it,” Lauren shrieked, clapping her hands together like a giddy child.
“Finally!” Omar exclaimed, snapping several pictures in rapid succession. “This is going on the Christmas card.”
“Make sure you get my good side!” Pedro joked, pulling back just enough to shoot Omar a wink, his arm still secure around your waist.
“I don’t think you have a bad side,” you teased, your eyes meeting Pedro’s.
“Ugh, stop!” Franklin groaned, clutching his chest dramatically. “This is too much. I need a drink—and not out of a coconut. I’m going straight for the tequila.”
Everyone burst into laughter, the lighthearted teasing filling the air as the moment was immortalized with photos, laughter, and a shared sense of joy. Pedro leaned closer, his lips brushing your temple as the group continued to banter.
“They’re just jealous,” he murmured softly, his voice filled with affection.
You tilted your head up to meet his gaze, your heart swelling at the warmth in his eyes. “Maybe. But I’m not sharing, so they can stay jealous.”
Pedro chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Good. Because neither am I.”
The heat of the day softened into a golden, languid warmth as the two of you found refuge under the shade of a broad umbrella. The beach stretched endlessly before you, the waves lazily licking at the shore. Pedro reclined in a beach chair, his book propped open on his lap. The faint breeze tousled his hair, a few stray strands falling over his forehead, and the way he absentmindedly pushed them back sent a flutter through your chest.
You leaned against his side, your legs stretched out on the chair beside him, the perfect picture of ease. With one hand, you held your favorite romance novel, its dog-eared pages evidence of how many times you'd read it. With the other, you traced patterns along the inked lines of his tattoos. Your fingertips moved slowly, savoring the ridges of muscle and warmth beneath his skin, as if committing every part of him to memory.
Pedro’s free hand slid into yours, threading your fingers together with a natural intimacy that still made your heart skip a beat. He didn’t look up from his book as he murmured, “Everything feels right when you’re with me.”
The sincerity in his tone made you pause, your eyes lifting from the words on the page. A small smile tugged at your lips as you squeezed his hand gently. “I know the feeling,” you replied, your voice soft.
For a while, the two of you sat in comfortable silence, the kind that only comes when you’re entirely at ease with someone. The distant laughter of your friends mingled with the rhythmic crashing of waves, creating a serene soundtrack to your stolen moment.
Pedro finally set his book down, slipping a receipt in as a placeholder. His gaze shifted to you, lingering in a way that made your cheeks heat even before he said a word.
“You know,” he began, his voice warm and teasing, “you’re kind of amazing.”
You tilted your head, meeting his eyes with a playful arch of your brow. “Kind of?”
Pedro chuckled, his smile widening. “Okay, more than kind of. Very. Incredibly. Like, the kind of amazing that makes me wonder what I ever did to deserve you.”
You closed your book, setting it on the small table between your chairs. Turning slightly, you rested your chin on his shoulder, your fingers still entwined with his. “Pedro, where’s all this coming from?”
He shrugged, but his eyes were soft, almost vulnerable. “Just thinking. Watching you. It hits me sometimes how lucky I am. How lucky I feel to be the one sitting here with you.”
You laughed lightly, shaking your head. “You’re the one everyone loves. The kind, talented, ridiculously handsome Pedro Pascal. If anything, I’m the lucky one.”
Pedro leaned closer, his free hand brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “You’re wrong about that. Don’t get me wrong—I like myself just fine,” he teased, earning a laugh from you. “But you? You’re everything. Smart, funny, compassionate. And don’t even get me started on how beautiful you are.”
Your cheeks flushed, and you tried to deflect with a teasing grin. “Oh, so it’s just my looks, huh?”
“Not even close,” Pedro said, his voice dropping to a softer, deeper tone. “It’s the way you talk about your favorite books like they’re old friends. The way you laugh with your whole body. The way you care about everyone—how you make every room brighter just by being in it.”
“Pedro…” you whispered, your throat tight with emotion.
“And don’t think I haven’t noticed how you’ve got everyone wrapped around your finger,” he added, his grin returning. “Omar can’t go ten minutes without asking if you need something, and Lauren keeps calling you her ‘new favorite person.’”
You laughed, brushing at your cheeks as your emotions threatened to overwhelm you. “Stop. You’re going to make me cry.”
Pedro’s expression softened further, his thumb brushing over your cheek as if to catch a tear before it could fall. “If I do, they’d better be happy tears. Because, cariño, I love you more than I ever thought was possible.”
Your breath hitched, and you leaned into his touch. “I love you too. So much.”
For a moment, the world around you faded into the background. Pedro leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was slow and tender, like a promise. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Promise me you’ll always stay this close,” he said, his tone carrying a weight you couldn’t quite place.
You smiled, your hands cupping his face. “I promise. Always.”
Pedro’s heart swelled at your words, and though he didn’t say it out loud, a plan began to take shape in his mind. He pictured the perfect ring, the perfect moment, the perfect way to ask you to spend forever with him.
“I’ll hold you to that,” he said softly, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead.
You didn’t need to say anything else. The way you melted into his arms, the way your fingers found his once again, said everything. For now, this was enough. But in his heart, Pedro knew it wouldn’t be long before he made good on the promise his soul had already made: to love you, always.
The late afternoon sun bathed the beach in golden light as you wandered back into the water. The waves lapped gently at your legs, warm and inviting. Lost in the tranquil rhythm of the ocean, you didn’t notice the jagged rock just below the surface until it grazed your shin. You winced, feeling the sharp sting before brushing it off as nothing.
You emerged from the water, the salty breeze brushing against your skin. Pedro, lounging nearby with a half-finished coconut drink, immediately sat up. His eyes darted to your leg, catching the small but noticeable trail of red trickling down your shin.
“Are you bleeding?” His voice carried that signature mix of concern and urgency that only Pedro could make sound so endearing.
You glanced down, surprised to see the cut. “Oh.”
“Oh?” Pedro’s tone was incredulous as he practically leapt from his chair, already reaching for the towel draped over the back. “That’s all you have to say? Oh?”
“It’s just a scratch, Pedro,” you said with a small laugh, trying to wave him off. “I’m fine.”
But Pedro was having none of it. He crouched in front of you, his warm hands circling your calf to keep your leg still. The towel dabbed gently at the cut, his brow furrowed in concentration. “You’re not allowed to get hurt on my watch,” he muttered, more to himself than to you.
“It’s barely a paper cut,” you teased, watching the way his features softened even as he fussed over you.
“Doesn’t matter.” His voice was firm, though his touch remained impossibly gentle. “What if it gets infected? What if—”
You laughed, cutting him off. “Pedro, it’s not like I got bitten by a shark.”
He looked up at you, his expression a mixture of exasperation and adoration. “Don’t joke about that. I’d fight a shark for you, you know.”
The sincerity in his voice, paired with the completely ridiculous statement, made you laugh even harder. “Oh, I’m sure you would,” you said, brushing your fingers through his damp curls.
“Don’t test me,” he quipped, finally satisfied that the cut was clean. He reached for the small first-aid kit Franklin had insisted on bringing, pulling out a bandage. “Hold still.”
“Seriously?” you asked, your amusement growing.
“Seriously,” he said, shooting you a look that dared you to challenge him. He peeled the adhesive back and smoothed the bandage over your shin with a precision that would make a surgeon proud.
“There,” he said, sitting back on his heels and surveying his work with a nod. “Good as new.”
“You’re ridiculous,” you said, shaking your head but smiling all the same.
“And you’re reckless,” he shot back, standing up and pulling you into his arms. “I leave you alone for five minutes, and this is what happens.”
You leaned into him, your hands resting against his chest. “I think you’re overreacting. It’s a scratch, Pedro.”
“It’s your scratch,” he said, his voice softening. His fingers tilted your chin up, his eyes searching yours. “That means it matters to me.”
Your heart did a little flip at his words, and you couldn’t resist teasing him just a little. “You know how you’re like—”
“Absolutely embarrassingly in love with you?” he cut in, a smirk tugging at his lips.
You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face. “Yeah, that.”
Pedro leaned in, his forehead resting against yours. “I am, you know,” he said, his voice dropping to a tender murmur. “Completely, hopelessly, embarrassingly in love with you.”
Your teasing melted away as you cupped his face, brushing your thumbs over the scruff of his jaw. “Good. Because I’m absolutely embarrassingly in love with you too.”
His smile grew, and he kissed you softly, as if sealing a promise. When he pulled back, his eyes sparkled with mischief. “Now, no more rock fights, okay? You’ve got to take it easy on me.”
You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I’ll do my best. But no promises if a shark shows up.”
Pedro groaned dramatically, lifting you off your feet as he carried you back to the lounge chairs. “If a shark shows up, I’ll negotiate with it. Tell it I’m already your protector and it can’t have the job.”
You giggled, nuzzling against his neck. “Sounds like a good plan. My hero.”
He set you down with exaggerated care, pressing one last kiss to your forehead. “Always,” he said simply.
And as the two of you sat there, the ocean stretching endlessly before you, you felt it again—that perfect, undeniable feeling of being home.
HOTEL ESENCIA, MEXICO — SUNSET
The sunset painted the sky in hues of orange, pink, and deep indigo, casting a magical glow over the beach. The group sat in a loose circle, their laughter and conversation mingling with the soft crash of the waves and the mellow strumming of a guitar Omar had picked up. The mood was serene, the kind of calm that felt like it could stretch forever.
Pedro sat behind you on the sand, his strong arms wrapped securely around your waist as you leaned back against his chest. His chin rested lightly on your shoulder, and you could feel the soft puff of his breath against your neck. His warmth enveloped you, a perfect contrast to the cool ocean breeze.
“You cold, cariño?” Pedro murmured, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.
“Not even a little,” you replied, turning your head to catch his eyes. They sparkled, reflecting the fiery colors of the horizon.
His fingers traced slow, idle circles against your stomach. “Good. Can’t have you shivering out here, not when I’ve got two perfectly good arms to keep you warm.”
“You’re too good at this,” you teased, smiling as you reached up to brush a strand of hair from his forehead.
“Good at what?” he asked, his tone playful, though his eyes held that familiar, unspoken intensity that always made your heart skip a beat.
“At making me feel like the luckiest person in the world,” you said softly.
Pedro’s lips curved into a slow smile, and he leaned down to press a tender kiss to your temple. “That’s funny,” he murmured, “because that’s exactly how I feel about you.”
The golden light of the sunset cast a halo around his face, and you couldn’t help but reach up, cupping his cheek as you brought his forehead to yours. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say things like that.”
“You’d better not,” he said, his voice warm and teasing, though there was an edge of vulnerability beneath it. “Because I’m not planning on stopping.”
“I’ll love you forever,” Pedro whispered, his lips ghosting against your ear as the first stars began to peek through the darkening sky.
You tilted your head back to meet his gaze fully, the world around you falling away. “You promise?”
He cupped your face in his hands, his thumb brushing tenderly over your cheek. “I promise,” he said, his voice steady and filled with so much certainty it made your chest ache in the best way.
His lips found yours in a kiss that was soft and lingering, filled with a sweetness that felt endless. When he pulled back, he pressed another kiss to your forehead before tucking you closer to him.
The night deepened, and the group eventually wandered back to the cozy beachfront hotel. Pedro’s hand never left yours as you made your way to your shared room, the two of you moving in quiet, comfortable synchronicity.
Inside, the room was dimly lit, the glow of a single bedside lamp casting a warm, intimate light over the space. The sound of the waves was faint through the open balcony doors, and the scent of salt air mingled with the faintly floral perfume you’d spritzed on earlier.
Pedro closed the door behind you and turned to face you, his expression soft but unmistakably intent. “You know,” he said, stepping closer, “I meant it. Every word I said out there.”
You tilted your head, giving him a playful look. “Even the part where you said you’d never get tired of me stealing the covers?”
“Especially that part,” he said with a grin, his hands finding your waist and pulling you flush against him. “Though I might need extra cuddles as compensation.”
You laughed softly, your hands sliding up his chest to rest on his shoulders. “I think that can be arranged.”
His grin faded, replaced by something deeper, more serious, as his eyes searched yours. “I love you,” he said, the words simple but carrying the weight of everything he felt. “So much that sometimes it scares me.”
You leaned up, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I love you too. And you don’t have to be scared, Pedro. You’ve got me.”
His lips claimed yours in a kiss that was slow and deliberate, his hands splaying across your back as he pulled you closer. The kiss deepened, his lips parting to taste yours, and you felt the warmth of him everywhere.
He backed you gently toward the bed, his movements unhurried, as if savoring every moment. The backs of your knees hit the edge, and you sank onto the soft mattress, pulling him down with you.
Pedro’s hands roamed, his touch reverent as his lips moved from your mouth to your jaw, then down the column of your neck. “Tell me if I’m going too fast,” he murmured against your skin, his voice low and husky.
“You’re perfect,” you whispered, threading your fingers through his hair and tugging lightly to bring his lips back to yours.
His breath hitched at your words, and you felt the weight of his love in every kiss, every touch. The world outside faded away, leaving just the two of you wrapped in each other, lost in a moment that felt infinite.
Pedro pulled back briefly, his forehead resting against yours as his fingers laced with yours. “You’re my everything,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
“And you’re mine,” you replied, your heart full to bursting.
And as the night stretched on, the love between you grew even deeper, wrapping around you both like a warm, unbreakable cocoon.
#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x f!reader#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader masterlist#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x ofc#pedroispunk#pedropascaledit#pedro#joel miller x reader#marcus acacius x reader#pedro pascal x plus size reader#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal art#pedro pascal fandom#pedro pascal characters#pedrohub#pedro pascal fic#jose pedro balmaceda pascal
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helloo there!!♡, I really love the way you write. I'm wondering what it would be like if sae,rin,kaiser, have a gf who is a cosplayer, tyy♡!
Hiii dear!! Have a nice read and thank youuu^^
Rin Itoshi
Rin had come home early from practice. As soon as he opened the door he heard strange noises coming from the living room. When he walked in he found you sitting on the floor trying to shape a large piece of cardboard. The room was a mess with hot glue guns paints fabric scraps and oddly shaped foam pieces scattered everywhere
“What are you doing?” Rin asked with a curious expression. You looked up at him. With a smudge of paint on your face and messy hair you smiled brightly. “I’m working on a new cosplay. This is going to be a piece of armor” you said holding up the cardboard. Rin raised an eyebrow. “Armor? That thing needs a lot of work before it even looks like armor.”
“Don’t tease me!” you retorted. “This is just the base layer. It still needs painting hardening and detailing. Rin chuckled. “Alright alright. But why does the entire house look like a battlefield? Do you even know what you’re doing?”
Though you looked a bit offended you could tell Rin was getting interested. “I watched some YouTube videos and read a few guides. It’s a bit challenging but I’m learning. Plus it’s fun”
Rin sat down next to you and picked up the piece of cardboard you were working on. “If you’re going to put in this much effort at least do it properly. You need to cut this cleanly with a craft knife” he said grabbing a knife and showing you how to do it
After that day Rin couldn’t help but get involved in your project. Sometimes he’d point out mistakes saying “You’re doing it wrong” and other times he’d grab a paintbrush to help you add finishing touches
When the cosplay was finally ready you put it on and showed Rin the completed look. As you posed excitedly you noticed the surprised look on his face. “Alright” he said after a moment “I thought it was silly at first but… it actually looks really good”
“Really?” you asked your eyes sparkling with hope. Rin shrugged. “Maybe. But after all that effort I guess I can’t say anything against it.” At the convention your armor caught everyone’s attention. People stopped you to take pictures and compliment your work. Rin stood a step behind you a small smile on his face keeping an eye on the crowd to make sure no one crossed any boundaries
Sae Itoshi
when you first mentioned your passion for cosplay he didn’t think much of it. “Cosplay? You mean dressing up as fictional characters?” he asked one day his tone calm but slightly curious “Exactly!” you replied with excitement. “It’s a lot more than just dressing up though. I design the outfits build props and sometimes even compete. It’s a hobby but it means a lot to me”
Sae gave a small nod. “If it’s important to you that’s fine. Just don’t expect me to dress up” You laughed at his response knowing it was his way of acknowledging your interests without diving too deeply
A few weeks later you were preparing for a convention. Your living room was a workshop with fabric glue guns and foam scattered everywhere. Sae walked in and paused his sharp gaze taking in the scene “You’ve been at this for hours” he commented setting his bag down
“Yup” you said not even looking up from the detailed painting you were doing on a prop. “The convention is in two days and I want this to be perfect” Sae sighed softly walking closer. “Does it really need to be this detailed? No one’s going to notice if it’s off by a little”
You shot him a playful glare. “Oh they’ll notice. Trust me cosplayers have an eye for detail” He didn’t reply but leaned down to pick up one of the finished pieces. “It’s impressive” he admitted after a moment. “I didn’t realize you made all of this yourself”
The day of the convention Sae offered to drive you there. As you stepped out of the car in your fully completed costume he couldn’t help but let his eyes linger for a moment. You looked stunning the outfit perfectly capturing the character you were portraying “You’re really into this aren’t you?” he said his voice softer than usual “I am” you replied with a bright smile. “And I love it”
At the convention Sae stayed in the background watching as people approached you for photos and compliments. He observed the way your face lit up every time someone admired your work. Despite his usual stoic demeanor he felt a subtle sense of pride
Later as you both sat down to eat he spoke up. “You’re talented. I don’t think I could have the patience to do something like that” You grinned. “Coming from you that’s a big compliment.” Sae smirked faintly. “Don’t let it go to your head”
Kaiser Michael
“You dress up as fictional characters and make all this stuff yourself?” he asked, spinning one of your half-finished props in his hand like it was a trophy.“Yes, Michael” you replied, rolling your eyes at his tone. “It’s not just dressing up. It’s crafting, designing, and bringing something I love to life. And no, you can’t break that it took hours to make”
Kaiser smirked and placed the prop back carefully. “Relax. I’m just admiring your… creativity” A few days later, he strolled into the room while you were sewing fabric for your next costume. His golden hair was slightly tousled, and he leaned casually against the doorway, watching you work. “So, when’s this big event of yours?”
“This weekend” you answered, not looking up from your work “Perfect. I’ll clear my schedule” he said with a grin. You looked up at him, surprised. “You’re coming?”
“Of course” he said as if it were obvious. “I have to see how good you are at this. Besides, you’ll need someone to make sure your fans don’t get too close”
The day of the convention, Kaiser arrived in style, dressed impeccably as always. When he saw you in your finished cosplay, his usual cocky smirk shifted into something softer. “I’ll admit” he said, circling you like a critic. “You look incredible. Almost as good as me” “Almost?” you teased, raising an eyebrow “Fine” he said with a mock dramatic sigh. “You look better than me for now”
At the convention, Kaiser stayed by your side, his presence impossible to ignore. People stared as much at him as they did at you, but he didn’t seem to mind. Whenever someone asked for a photo with you, he’d step aside, arms crossed, observing like he was the one managing your image
“You know” he whispered at one point as you posed for a group shot. “You should’ve told me earlier. I’d have joined you in costume. Imagine us as a power duo unstoppable” You laughed, shaking your head. “This is my thing, Michael. You already have football”
“But you’re my girlfriend” he said with a wink. “That makes everything you do my thing too” By the end of the day, you were exhausted but happy. Kaiser drove you home, still talking about how “you stole the show” and how “everyone was lucky to witness your brilliance”
Enjoy!
#bluelock x you#blue lock x female reader#blue lock x y/n#blue lock rin itoshi#bluelock x reader#blue lock x reader#blue lock#bllk x reader#rin itoshi x y/n#rin itoshi x you#itoshi rin x reader#rin itoshi x reader#itoshi sae x reader#rin itoshi#sae x reader#sae itoshi#sae itoshi x reader#itoshi sae#itoshi sae x you#micheal kaiser x reader#micheal kaiser#bllk kaiser#kaiser x reader#michael kaiser#blue lock kaiser#kaiser x you#michael kaiser x reader#michael kaiser x you#bllk sae#bllk rin
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Baby It's Cold Outside
"Perhaps you can stay a little longer? Share one more drink with me?"
•pairing: yunho x fem!reader
•word count: 1k
•tags: MDNI, suggestive, jealous and possessive Yunho, reader is kinda stupid (sorry), alcohol consumption, drink spiking (DO NOT DO THIS????), ...did I miss anything? probably
Summary: Quite literally based off the controversy with the song "Baby It's Cold Outside", after spending a little too long with your date, Yunho, you try your best to go home. He seemingly does not want you to leave however.
A/N: I have a confession...one of my taboo kinks is to be drugged and taken advantage of, but you didn't hear that from me! For real though, please be careful with your drinks being spiked. Protect yourself and others while under the influence. Remember this is only fiction and to not be taken seriously or to give anyone any ideas. Please be sure to drop a like, reblog if you enjoyed it, and comment your favorite part! Happy reading!
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆───
Your phone dinged with a notification. A message from your roommate, asking where you were. You previously told them you were going to meet up with this guy you matched with on Tinder. You had been chatting back and forth for a while, so you had some trust with him. It wasn’t a one-night stand or anything, just the first time meeting up. You glanced at the time on your phone after reading your roomie’s message and realized you had stayed way longer than you expected.
“Yunho, I’ve really enjoyed our time, but I do have to get going.”
“Mmm, can’t you just stay a little longer? The temperature is not the warmest right now.”
“Yeah, well, ‘tis the season for that. Plus, my roommate just messaged asking where I was.”
“You have someone else expecting you?” His voice was laced with a hint of jealousy. You scoffed at his comment softly.
“Relax, it’s just a roommate Yunho, plus, ‘they'” - you say with air quotes - "are a lady, so you can rest easy.” You use your hands and push yourself up off the couch you both are sitting on.
“I see. Well, I don’t want you to freeze out there.” Yunho stands up after you do and starts to get closer to you. His tall stature throws you off for the 100th time. You gaze up at him with your mouth parted slightly.
“I’m sure I’ll be okay. I dressed prepared for the weather.”
“I know, but doesn’t this warm fire feel so much nicer?” His hands trail up from your hips to your waist and rest there. The action sends a small chill up your spine.
“I-it does.” The remaining confidence you had slowly leaving you, softly submitting to staying with Yunho for the night. You stare at each other for a moment before you blink and shake your head and back away from him. “No, I need to leave.” You peek your head past his shoulder to look out the window near the front door. The snow is coming down quickly and heavily. Yunho follows your gaze and returns his attention back to you, a soft smirk on his face.
“I wouldn’t go out there if I were you. Perhaps you can stay a little longer? Share one more drink with me until the snow trucks go by?” His hands leave your hips and tenderly hold your hands. His sentences came across as questions, but you knew you really wouldn’t have much of a choice.
“Fine. I suppose one more won’t hurt.” You glance off to the side, disappointed with yourself that you could not stand your ground, but knowing he also had a point. If you left now, who knows what could happen to you out there with the snow coming down the way it is?
“Good~. I’ll go get the drinks. Just sit back down for me.” His eyes are full of tenderness and care. His hand invites you to sit back on the couch. There was no denying his charm and how your heart fluttered with him wanting you to stay longer. You sat back down, looking up at him, and he gave you an approving nod before heading to the kitchen to prepare the drinks. You pulled your phone back out and shot a message to your roomie.
“You’re smiling a lot over there.” Yunho’s voice ringing through your ears, causing you to jump suddenly. He hands over the small glass he just poured for you.
“Oh, heh, yeah. My roommate is just being...perverted." You chuckle softly as you grab the drink from his hand, a slight blush coming across your face. He responds with a soft “hmm” and sits back down next to you.
The situation feels familiar. Being in this same position not that long ago. Drinks in your hands, chatting about frivolous things, sitting in the exact same spots. Like nothing has changed, besides the fact you are staying a few minutes longer than you intended. The night drags on; the snow keeps coming down. The sudden broadcast on the news advising people to stay inside and not go out due to dangerous conditions. Once that message finishes, the smirk on Yunho’s face grows even larger. You furrow your eyebrows towards him, thinking the alcohol was starting to take effect and making you see things.
“Yunho, it's been a pleasure, but I seriously need to go.” You set the cup down on the table in front of you and stand up. Feeling like all of the blood suddenly left your head, you start to fall forward. Yunho, quick on the draw, stands up and catches you.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy darling. Didn’t you hear the weather experts? It’s dangerous to go out there.”
“I promised my roommate I’d be back.” Your words start to come out slurred, unintentionally.
“Y/N I can’t allow you to go out there. Especially in this condition.” A concerned tone in his voice as he looks you over, holding you up and in place any time you try to move.
“Yunho…” Your sentence falls off as you look at him. Everything in the room except for him is spinning, and suddenly your vision becomes blurred. Your body starts to feel light and tingly. Am I about to pass out? You think to yourself. From what little is left you can see, Yunho’s eyes shift from concerned to dark and sinister.
“I can’t allow you to leave Y/N.”
“Yunho…what did you…?” Next thing you know, he has you spun around, and you feel him grab your wrists and tug them together. Yunho leans in towards your neck and whispers in your ear.
“Perhaps I put a little something in your drink to help you stay longer.”
“Wha…” None of this making any sense due to your body practically shutting down at this point.
“Shh, shh, shh.” Yunho places his spare hand over your mouth to keep you quiet, and not too long after that, he feels your body go limp against him. The drink has taken full effect now. Yunho quietly sings to himself, in his deeper register...
“Baby, it’s cold outside~.”
Tags: @pre1ttyies@isiloiale@moongoddess1982@xuchiya@myloveforyunho @ywtfvs @meowmeeps @tinyelfperson @httpseungmxn @acupoftaewithsomesuga @tiredlittlevirgo @no1likevie @arki-sha @yeosangsbbg @10nantscompanion @skzooluvr
#sugarnspice630#yunho x reader#jeong yunho x reader#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#yunho imagines#yunho smut#ateez smut#kpop writers#ateez#ateez fic#ateez imagine#kpop#yunho fic#jeong yunho fic#yunho x y/n#yunho#jeong yunho#smut#ateez yunho#kpop fanfic
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Let's just answer the whole damn list.
1: How many fics have you worked on since January?
I've got the ever present dal segno al coda that I've always been working on this year. However, in May, I came up with the concepts that turned into The Insurgent King and this has kind of taken over EVERYTHING in my mind.
I also got a couple of Ys fics out, a pretty dark story for Van Arkride, and a couple of one shot stories for FFXV.
2: What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?
👏 MAFIA 👏 ADJACENT 👏
Insurgent King has been SO MUCH FUN because it's really delving a lot into the dark underbelly of stuff. I also got to use my AP style from Endless History in a fic with The King's Interview in that series.
But in general, writing has been amazingly therapeutic for me. It was something I started after my mom's death in 2022 as a bit of personal therapy. I think having time to be in make believe worlds writing fantasy and adventure when it sometimes feels like my world is falling apart has helped me more than you can believe.
Additionally, an upcoming story that I've been planning for Insurgent King is straight up a heist story, ala Oceans 11 and so forth. I've never done something like this before and it has been the craziest thing I've had to plan. And it's the one story that doesn't have a shit ton of stuff already written for it, since the heist needs to be so carefully put together.
I'm SO excited for that story to finally get released. I can't wait for people to read it because it's been so much fun to plan.
3: What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)
Final Fantasy XV seems to be the game to keep on giving me a lot of inspiration for ideas. However, I've been finding inspiration for my stories in so many things all over the place.
Trails Through Daybreak has served as much of a supportive 'vibe check' for Insurgent King, as an example. Watching through Tower of God's S2 anime has reminded me of how COOL that comic is and since I've started writing, I've started finding a whole new appreciation for fiction and other stories all over the place. The biggest influence this year, though, has been from old TV shows ala Lost and Stargate, both of which have been an immense inspiration for the storytelling method behind Insurgent King. Look at it like a serialized TV series and the way I'm writing it will probably make a lot more sense.
4: How many fandoms did you write for this year?
For things published, three: Final Fantasy XV, Ys, and Trails.
For things that are still in my WIPs bin? Lost Universe, No Man's Sky, and Helldivers.
5: What ships captured your heart?
I adore Lunoct - but I fully understand that my bias comes from working on dal segno al coda, which is kind of my baby. I can't wait to start releasing it, because Noctis and Lunafreya are the quintessential power couple in it, and fate does not want them together because of the shit they can do when united in it.
6: What characters captured your heart?
I know this was from something I released last year, but it was at the very end of the year, and it still carried over through this year: Anemona from Ys IX. I would not have written anything for her if it wasn't for the Yuletide exchange.
I've also found myself loving the hell out of writing Gladio in my FFXV fics. He's started to become one of the easiest characters for me to write, even.
Also, writing in the point of view of Regis in The King's Gambit. I want to write something that's far more enjoyable for him than the ball of anxiety he was in that fic. Shit was going poorly and he had to change everything to make it go less poorly in that story. I just want something with him being happy.
7: Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?
I hadn't written/released anything for the Trails series, strangely enough, until I wrote Cannot Deny His Sleepless Eyes. I have another fic that I've been dabbling with that's Trails from Zero/Trails to Azure, but I'm not far enough to really call anything for it.
8: What fic meant the most to you to write?
The Cordelia Manifest.
This was the first fic of the Insurgent King series. Think of it like the pilot for a TV series. I wrote it based on vibes I got while listening to music from Bubblegum Crisis. While doing so, I realized that I love this setting a LOT and really needed to delve into it more and explain out how Insomnia fell and Noctis became a king of the criminal underworld in it.
9. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?
Lost and Found.
This was my fic in the FFXV Remix event that happened earlier this year. I had so much fun reading a fic called The new guy by MiraNjell and chose it for my remix fic.
A lot of this was pulled from my own personal experiences from getting a new puppy this year.
10: What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?
The Insurgent King.
In this case, not the series, but the fic named for the series. This is my longest published fic on AO3, and I felt so proud of actually getting it done.
11: What fic was the most difficult to write?
ad astra is one of my FFXV wips. I've come and go with it several times, but since it delves very hard into concepts that are "beyond human understanding" and kind of delves a bit into cosmic horror… it's easily one of the most difficult projects ahead of me. I want to read more cosmic/eldritch horror before I try to write more of it, and I really want to become a much better writer to do this concept justice.
With what I released, it would be Cannot Deny His Sleepless Eyes. I've never written whump before and this was somewhat uncomfortable as it has a lot of heavily implied child abuse. It's only 400'ish words, but I didn't want to expand on it any further.
12: What fic was the easiest to write?
Infiltration! I just sat on the ending for ages, and then decided "boom" and knocked that shit out in a couple of hours. A lot of Noctis and Prompto's interactions remind me very much of the same kind of 'two friends who lose all brain cells when together' friendship that I have with my best friend.
In fact, the "be quiet" aspect of Infiltration was actually based on a real bet with my best friend from years and years ago.
13: What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?
Shortest: Cannot Deny His Sleepless Eyes - 414 words
Longest: The Insurgent King (story, not series.) - 62,638
14: What were your go-to writing songs?
I made a whole ass playlist for Insurgent King.
15: What was the hardest fic to title?
Filed Away. I still am not 100% happy with the title.
16: What's your favorite title of the year?
There's an upcoming story in my Insurgent King series called A Field of Flowers. I love everything about this title. I can't wait for people to see just why it's an amazing title, too.
17: Share your favorite opening line
Ring ring. Ring ring. Ring ring. Click. "Fisherman's Lighthouse." "Good… [afternoon], this is an automated call from Concordo Shipping. Your freight parcel has been scanned in at… [Pier Lots Warehouse] and will be ready for pick up in… [forty-eight hours]. Failure to pick up your parcel… [one week] after its release will see that your parcel is forfe–" Click.
The above is the opening from Observator, one of the side stories in Insurgent King. I love it because I think you can hear the automated voice on the line.
18: Share your favorite ending line
Voices echoed through Regis' quickly fading consciousness. He saw the flash of blue, glimmering magic in front of him. He couldn't make out the words from the woman's voice — it sounded as if he was under water. He had no time. He held his left hand up to her. He needed the ring to be noticed immediately. "Take it." His strength faded fast. "Take it to…" But Regis Lucis Caelum never got out that last word before he died on the steps of the Citadel.
The above is the ending (before the super short epilogue) of The King's Gambit, the third story of the Insurgent King series. Regis' death is a catalyst to everything in the series, and I wanted the story that was in his POV to end abruptly as he died. There would be no more 'voice' for the POV any longer, afterall.
19: Share your favorite piece of dialogue
"It's not home." Noct said as he crossed the room and started to poke through the bag. It's dinner, but instead of commenting on the food, he mused out loud, "I'm surprised, though. Ignis is usually super critical when I'm too lax about hiding my identity." "You could make it easier and introduce me to them as your cousin Gladio Gar." "No." Noct stopped, then looked up. He sounded a lot sharper than he initially intended, but continued with it, "Don't. That's my thing." Gladio leaned back with a smug grin. The chair groaned in protest at the large man's weight from the action. "Yeah, I know." He paused for a second, just for the timing of it. "It shouldn't be." "I have a good cover here." Noct mumbled as he dropped into his own chair and opened the box to look through the food. It was a burger — he was surprised it wasn't Cup Noodles. "It's about as great as a baseball cap." "It works!" Noct grabbed a fry out of the box and threw it at Gladio. He laughed as it only bounced harmlessly off his head.
The above is from A Part to Play, one of my Twilight extra stories that's still in WIP format. I have to be extremely careful with this one because it has some very technical stuff to describe and I need to take my time. It should be out soon, though.
19: Share your funniest line
This time, the roles were switched. Luna took hold of Noctis' wrist and walked ahead to lead him, instead. "What's the worst he could do to us?" "To you." Noctis didn't fight being pulled along. "He wouldn't do anything to you." A beat. "He'd just kick my ass in our next training session." "If he's kicking your ass," It was so weird to hear Luna repeat his own words. She always knew what to say and the perfect way to say it, when Noctis felt he fell short in that skillset. Luna quickly glanced back to say, "Then you just need to…" She paused, as she seemed to search for the words, then continued, "get good and show him what for." Noctis thought, at first, that he must have not heard her right. The words and Luna's voice just didn't sound right together. After running that over in his head again, he finally laughed. "I'm sorry. Who are you and what did you do with Lunafreya?"
This is from Date Night, my little 'preview fic' for Noctis and Lunafreya in dal segno al coda.
This fic is a single night of events that just didn't fit in the full narrative of the main story and is Noctis and Lunafreya having an evening out together in Insomnia. (takes place during part 2)
I really have a lot of fun with Noct and Luna in segno. I know I said it before, but I'll say it again: I really can't wait to get comfortable enough to start posting it, because I want people to really have fun with what the two are capable of in that story.
As I said before, they are very much a power couple in dal segno al coda, except there are points here and there when Noctis and Lunafreya just have the chance to be the people they could never otherwise be.
20: What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?
I would go as far as to say that the sudden idea behind Solus popping into my head was a big surprise. It doesn't change the overall story of the Insurgent King, but it does add more to it, I feel.
There's also a contender for biggest 'surprise' that came about from writing part 2 of segno. This wasn't this year - I think I wrote the scene last year, even - but I'm still trying to contend with it. I feel like I have to fight over 'how far is too far' with the idea.
It changed a LOT of segno and triggered a lot of rewrites, as well. However, it was very much a case of 'Lunafreya wants what she wants, and it's not necessarily what the author originally wanted.' LOL
21: What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?
I started using Google Drive, but I was introduced to Ellipsus this year and I love it so much. So I've started migrating my works to it.
While it's not the main parts of the story themselves, I have a plnner for dal segno al coda, that I use to keep track of dates in it and what happens around said dates.
I also have been carrying a tiny composition book in my purse to use when I get ideas while away from home.
22: If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?
I would actually put that towards The King's Interview and when I looked at the finished product on AO3. Not so much the writing part of it, but the design work and workskin editing. Since I have a web development background, I really love playing with AO3 workskins and think they can be a very powerful tool in storytelling.
That header image was made from two different stock images, and intended to illustrate the interview, as you would see on a news site or newspaper.
I also did something like it for the Epilogue for The King's Gambit. I made a faux newspaper front page in InDesign, complete with making a believable printed halftone look of the front of the Citadel. There's so much more of that layout than what I showed.
I've also got a story that's doing something like this further down the line in segno - so I may have just lifted that idea from there. segno's 'front page' is a little more complete than this one, however. Complete with extra fake headlines and snippets of other articles and stuff.
23: Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?
Not necessarily. I think the only real time to celebrate finishing one would be when I finished The Insurgent King - the story, not the series it's named after. This is probably due to the nature of the series, though, since I was immediately in my files and making notes of where to go with the next story and what had to be revealed in it (as well as what I can't reveal yet).
24: How did you recharge between fics?
I might just pull up a game and play a bit. Nothing too fancy.
25: Did you create fanworks other than fic?
Not really, no.
26: How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)
Just one, really. It was the @ffxvremix. I wrote Lost and Found for it.
27: If this were an awards show, who would you thank?
I'd thank, of course, @firefallvaruna for being my amazing beta reader. I'd also thank @snifftheraven. He's been the best sounding board for a lot of my ideas. He's also super honest and tells me when my ideas are too much, or if I have gone down a path that I probably wouldn't want to take.
28: What's left on your to-do list for 2024?
Sadly, my to-do list included getting part 1 of segno done. Then I got sideswiped by a whole new AU called The Insurgent King. Which is on point for that AU's version of Noctis.
I might celebrate the end of the year by working on segno a bit more and maybe pushing that 75-80% completion a little closer to 100%.
29: What would you like to write next year?
Getting segno's part 1 done and started to AO3 is definitely on my planned list for next year. I'm also continuing onward into Insurgent King.
I know the ending to both series. I should be able to make it.
A slightly revised version of last year's questions! Two ways to play: Reblog and have your followers send you numbers, or answer the whole list!
How many fics have you worked on since January?
What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?
What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)
How many fandoms did you write for this year?
What ships captured your heart?
What characters captured your heart?
Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?
What fic meant the most to you to write?
What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?
What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?
What fic was the most difficult to write?
What fic was the easiest to write?
What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?
What were your go-to writing songs?
What was the hardest fic to title?
What's your favorite title of the year?
Share your favorite opening line
Share your favorite ending line
Share your favorite piece of dialogue
Share your funniest line
What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?
What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?
If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?
Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?
How did you recharge between fics?
Did you create fanworks other than fic?
How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)
If this were an awards show, who would you thank?
What's left on your to-do list for 2024?
What would you like to write next year?
#fic writing#final fantasy xv#trails through daybreak#dal segno al coda stuff#the insurgent king#ffxv twilight#writing memes#question and answer
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˚୨୧⋆。🍓˚ all you want - itoshi rin.
in which: rin finds out what he is most terrified of.
themes - sfw. not proofread. gender neutral (i believe, lemme know if im wrong). rin is a loser in love so yay. | wc 0.6k
itoshi rin is an intimidating man. his tall silhouette adds to his unapproachable persona, which he embodies with a glued sore expression, almost always looking as if ready for slaughter. (he is)
rin himself has been aware of this fact; it is hard not to be after years of noticing the small mannerisms of nervousness people only tend to carry around him. he feels bad about it sometimes, but, oh well.
with such a demeanor, rin has the confidence to rarely ever think of what might spook him. truthfully, he cannot be blamed either. this man watches horror movies as a hobby, claiming "it's the only media that interests him". forget fictional horror, he isn't even bothered by realistic sights of blood, be it his own or somebody else's; a very small part of the reason why he didn't think twice before swinging at shidou during practice today.
itoshi rin terrifies everyone and is never terrified of anyone.
so why, why is he shaking in his boots right now at the sight of your stern expression?
"rin."
he held his breath, mentally preparing himself to confront the storm ahead.
"you forgot to buy strawberries."
crap. the ingredient had completely slipped his mind.
"sorry," he sighed, in transparent defeat. "i remembered your text after arriving."
"it's okay," you went back to shuffling through drawers like your usual self. except, it wasn't usual to rin. your cheeky smile he adored so much became replaced with a pout today.
no no no—please don't be sad. not over strawberries.
"i'll go back and get them right now," he shuffled in his trouser pockets for his car keys, determined to get you those red little troublemakers.
your hand clutched a flap of his jacket before he got moving. "rin, it's okay. really."
"i'll be back shortly," he glared daggers into your hand restricting him—conflicted if he is in a position to remove any willing touch you provided him at the moment.
he hoped you would just let go—which you did. but now, it wasn't just a hand clinging to him. it was your entire being.
"you don't have to," you hugged him, murmuring sentences with the same look from before.
itoshi rin sighed, his second time today, but this was out of pure endearment. "then stop looking so upset, dumbass."
though his words carried a harsh stream, his tender hands cupping your jaw contradicted all the possible roughness.
"i'm not upset," you claimed. "you're pouting," he swiped a thumb across your slightly fluffed up lips to prove a point you seemed to be missing. "well, i just wanted to make those cupcakes."
the stoic man's heart clutched again at your painfully adorable wish. slowly, he leaned to press his forehead against yours. "so, let me get them."
at his adamancy, you chuckled, a sound that melted away the tension in the room. "baby, you really don't have to go back for strawberries. i can survive a night without them."
"i know you can," he left a quick kiss on your lips. "but, i want you to have everything you want. especially the little things."
perhaps you grew accustomed to his physical affection, but his verbal love still held you captive after all this time. long gone were the sweetly sour fruits from your mind, all it consisted of was itoshi rin.
"what if i want something not so little?" you tip-toed to reach your boyfriend towering over you.
immediately, getting your cue, he grabbed on to your figure, bringing his lips to align with yours passionately.
"can give you that too."
10:30 am.
the next morning, as sunshine spilled through the kitchen windows, you found a crimson surprise awaiting you at the counter. three full containers of strawberries had been neatly arranged in a column and residing beside them were a pair of oven mitts. the last thing he left for you to spot was a note attached to the thermal gloves.
"for your cupcakes. don't burn yourself." — rin itoshi.
#—🍓#—cookie writes#itoshi rin x reader#bllk x reader#itoshi rin#itoshi rin x you#itoshi rin x y/n#rin x reader#bllk x you#bllk imagines#blue lock rin itoshi#blue lock#rin itoshi#itoshi rin fluff#itoshi brothers
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AmazingPhil channel marathon musings
during a pre-show q&a back in november, in response to a question about what show someone should binge next, dan said they should watch all of the AmazingPhil channel from the start. I was not the person who asked this (nor was I at this show), but regardless I did decide I wanted to take dan’s suggestion seriously. just a few days ago, I finished watching all of AmazingPhil in chronological order. and now i really want to talk about what it was like and why I would recommend marathoning his channel to pretty much anyone—because it was a blast.
I watched all of the 369 currently public AmazingPhil videos over the course of 35 days, which is from my perspective a pretty casual marathon. 369/35 = roughly 11 videos a day, though due to algorithm and monetization policy stuff, phil’s videos became longer in duration around 2015-2016; for many years, most of his videos were around 4 minutes long or less, which for me meant that early on in this marathon I was watching more videos per day, and then later on my pace slowed. phil’s videos with dan are usually pretty long as well, so if I had something like a baking video or wdapteo up next to watch, I might have only watched one or two videos that day.
unsurprisingly, watching all of phil’s videos in order in a relatively short span of time gave me a really cool perspective on how phil has grown as a person and as a YouTuber over the past eighteen years. surprising to me, though, was how I felt like watching his channel in such a linear way felt a bit like coming to know who phil is for the very first time, again. despite having watched his videos for over a decade, i feel like i understand his style and creativity and personality more fully, and in general better, than I did before. watching 2007 phil become 2009 phil become 2011 phil and so on in the span of a few days or a week meant seeing clearly how his sense of humor evolved, how his editing and creativity developed, how his perspectives on life and relationship with his audience shifted. much as when you binge an entire tv or book series and immediately afterwards feel like you’re brimming with information, and have all the context, that’s sort of how I felt. and it was new for me because I’d never done that with phil’s content before—I’d never followed the course of his life the way you might a fictional character’s.
AmazingPhil is also an incredible capsule of 2000s, 2010s, and 2020s Western internet culture, obviously. it’s like an anthropologist from the future with a very hyperspecific thesis topic’s dream treasure horde. what a person can learn about one corner of the world, and one corner of society, from AmazingPhil’s videos is, well, a lot. I see so much cultural value in AmazingPhil, it’s insane. his videos are not sketches, essays, and commentaries on society and life like Dan’s, but I’d make the argument (as I’m sure most of you would) that they’re just as important and critical to helping people understand themselves and the world they live in. and the kind of people they want to be, too, perhaps.
there were also certain videos that stuck with me more than they had in the past. I discovered new favorite videos and videos that I considered more interesting than I previously had. (I tried just now to make a list of some of these but it rapidly got too long, so instead I’ll restrict myself to mentioning only one, a new favorite, from 2021: “I Got Catfished.” - which i think is a fantastic example of phil’s storytelling style). dnp have both said before that they view life as a performance – and phil is without a sliver of doubt a magical and incredible performer. he knows so well how to tell stories with words, pacing, structures, and effects that are hilarious and entertaining; he turns anecdotes from his life into these amazing whimsical pieces of art made in a way no other person has ever made things. YouTube has from the beginning presented him with the perfect way to be creative in a way that suits him. and more than that, i found that it was never even remotely unpleasant to watch his videos every day for over a month. there is simply not an AmazingPhil video that doesn’t bring me joy and make me sit there smiling like a fool. my cheek muscles are probably stronger than they were 35 days ago.
so, to you I say, go: watch all of AmazingPhil, draw your own conclusions from his current oeuvre and deepen your parasocial relationship with Phil Lester in ways you cannot yet comprehend. I really recommend.
(final notes: one side effect of watching all of phil’s videos was being unexpectedly yet thoroughly convinced he does indeed possess psychic talents. even though i don’t believe in magical anything, i do now believe phil lester inherited prescience from his grandmother.)
(also dan is completely right that every time phil changes his hair, he regenerates into an entirely new man.)
(also also I made an AmazingPhil spotify playlist that is highly specific to my music tastes but that anyone is welcome to listen to all the same) ✨🐗💙🥱
#if i'm honest sharing my thoughts about dnp like this makes me anxious i am a lurker and a fic writer at heart so#if you disagree with my thoughts simply do not let me know#but also if anyone wants to talk about this or other dnp topics feel free to dm anytime :>#phil lester#amazingphil#dnp#dan and phil
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“sugar pie,” the cowboy echoes with a laugh, thinking they should put that on the posters. billy the kid, known also as sugar pie. “i guess that explains it all. sundance! did you hear that?” he playfully calls out, glancing over his shoulder towards the white horse who seems to be ignoring him completely, munching on some grass spiced with wildflowers. “you better eat your veggies or you’re gonna shrink.” obviously, that’s not how it works, but since her theory makes little sense to begin with, why shouldn’t he add to it? “that’s insane, right? what kind of fairytale is it? and the woman that he marries? she claims to be the one who saved him from drowning just ‘cause she found him on the beach. but the mermaid saved him.” the author of that story must have been drunk while writing it, labeling it as a book for children. “that’s what i’ve been thinkin’, too. he was only a pretender. real princes don’t act like that.” eyes gleaming with amusement when lucy gray seems to be just as appalled by the plot twist as he is, he finds it comforting, knowing they can relate. “alright, but you be careful.” he reluctantly lowers her down, making sure she can reach the bottom of the lake with her feet and stand comfortably before letting go. “oh, i get to be the ship, too? alright, i’ll name her… the ranger. and i’ll be prince,” he hesitates for a moment, trying to come up with a good, suitable name, thinking about all the other books that his ma used to read him and all the fictional princes, “tristan.” like the one from tristan and isolde. “rainmist is a beautiful name. rainmist and tristan,” he muses in approval, stifling a grin and clearing his throat as he gets into character, too. “oh, no! the rocks! the rocks are too big! how could we not see them? we’re gonna crash!” billy calls out, struggling to refrain from laughing. his problems non-existent. it seems as though they were the only two people in the world. “we’re gonna crash!” he takes a deep breath and dives under the surface, arms outstretched to locate lucy gray. his fingertips brush against her leg and he gently bumps into her belly, making sure not to actually knock her over.
“i promise, sugar pie.” lucy gray happily speaks, patting his chest gently. finding it adorable of him. “i know it, i guess i didn’t eat as much of veggies as you.” soft laughter escapes her, knowing all that comes down to genes. he must have had a tall dad or mom, she wonders which. “what?? the prince marries someone else?” shocked— she didn’t expect to hear that at all, what a plot twist to the story she didn’t even see coming. “he wasn’t a true prince at all, then.” quite the opposite to her. “alright, you be the pirate prince and i’m the mermaid with a hurt tail fin. who jumps in an’ saves me,” the brunette agrees, grinning in amusement. “that’s terrible, that poor girl deserved better. not did one thing happen bad, but a million more and she watched the love of her life marry someone else before dissolving into foam. heartbreakin’.” she’d like to have a word with that author, that wasn’t even necessary. what’s wrong with him or her? “i’ll hop off your back now before you go in too far…” lucy gray instructs, letting her legs go from his waist, “you swim by me and then you bump into me. you can be the ship first. then you’ll be a prince once i need savin’.” she grins, slipping into the water waist deep where she can still feel the ground. then she sits down, water coming up to her chin now, “i’m a mermaid named rainmist, brushing my hair.” getting into character, brushing her fingers through her locks. putting her feet together, splashing her ‘tail fin’. “out here, enjoying this warm almost summer day.” humming a song, waiting for ship billy to come by and knock her off her pretend rock.
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As someone who’s been cheated on before this is gonna be a hard read but I’m still super excited for the drama cuz I like torturing myself ig. This looks genuinely awesome and unique and I can’t wait for the demo. I read the sneak peak of the scene where mc finds out and I was happy to see how the reaction of mc seeing that was actually so realistic and I could relate to that on a deeper level. The nausea and panic when you find out really is INSANE and debilitating. As are the after effects (especially the sudden and unwarranted flashbacks of the moment). I was wondering if there would be “representation” in that regard? Meaning, will the mc gain ptsd-like symptoms because of the infidelity? And will that be seen throughout the relationship with an mc who chose to stay with R (or broke up with him but went back) or maybe it’ll be seen in the relationship with other RO’s? I’ve noticed a lot of fictional infidelity stories never really go into just how badly it can affect the one who was cheated on in more ways than one. I do realize that this is fiction though so it doesn’t have to go that deep lmao but I’m simply intrigued and curious. Regardless, I hope your holidays have been swell and again I can’t wait for the demo 🥳
the infidelity will impact mc throughout the rest of the IF! it's a central theme and even during moments of happiness, mc will remember the pain of it.
I think it'll be most obvious if you continue to stay with R bc that loss of trust is something not easily overcome and I want to explore the paranoia of it happening again and trying to move past it or not and things getting worse.
that doesn't mean the cheating won't impact them in other routes too, bc R has been fairly obvious with their love for mc and that still didn't stop R from making that mistake so "what ifs" will also linger in mcs mind when they move on with someone new.
take care of yourself when reading it, though, please! I'm glad it felt realistic, and I trust that you know your limits, but I don't think it's worth it to dredge up bad memories for a game in most cases :)
hope you had good holidays as well! <3
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「 Holidate | A Very Merry Footballer Ficmas 」
summary: you agree to fake date trent to save his image during the holiday season, but the lines on the contract start to blur | MDNI 18+
warnings: fake dating trope, teasing, fingering, unprotected sex, praise kink, dirty talk, alcohol consumption, language, smau, lighthearted angst, banter, kinda chaotic, **extended fam briefly mentioned are fictional 🎅🏾: sleigh got stuck in traffic so i’m late, forgive me | finale of my ficmas series wc: ~13.8k
You were halfway through your second cup of coffee, scrolling through emails like you usually did in the morning, when a peculiar email popped up.
From: Tyler Alexander-Arnold
Subject: Collaboration Proposal
You squinted at the name, thinking it sounded vaguely familiar but you weren’t sure why until it clicked. Trent Alexander-Arnold’s older brother. The footballer. You groaned, already feeling like there was going to be utter nonsense attached to the message. Athletes in your DMs and emails were nothing new, but they usually wanted shoutouts or some ‘collab’ that was a thinly veiled way of sliding into your messages for a hookup. You weren’t about to entertain a guy who thought sending his club’s match tickets was romantic.
But curiosity got the best of you:
Hi Y/N, I hope this email finds you well. My name is Tyler and I manage my brother, Trent Alexander-Arnold. PLG has followed your work for a while and we’re impressed by your authentic and engaging brand. I wanted to reach out with a unique proposal that I believe could be mutually beneficial. Trent is looking to shift his public image after recent media challenges, and we believe a collaborative effort with someone like you could help him accomplish this. The idea involves a short term arrangement posing as Trent’s girlfriend during the holidays with the possibility of extending the partnership into next year. We understand your time and reputation are valuable and will ensure all aspects of this arrangement align with your standards. Compensation and details are attached for your review. I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Tyler Alexander-Arnold
You stared at the screen, mouth slightly open. You had your fair share of wild pitch ideas before, but this was...new. A footballer fake boyfriend? For what? And why you?? You weren’t even the type – at least not for the girlfriend aesthetic they usually went for.
You scrolled down to the attached terms and your jaw dropped at the six figure amount of total compensation, and that wasn’t even including the performance bonus. The number was so pretty you wanted to print it out just to stare at it physically. A six month contract to ‘date’ Trent with a minimum of public appearances and the ability to control your own content. They were basically handing you all the creative freedom you demanded so often in every partnership you were ever a part of. But your pride was screaming at you. You built your brand on being authentic. Your followers trusted you because you weren’t fake. They would be able to sniff out any bullshit from you in milliseconds. You didn’t know if you could play it off that well.
Just as you were in your thoughts, doom scrolling through Instagram, you landed on a post about Trent.
SpillTheBeansUK: Trent Alexander-Arnold spotted partying at 4 am while Liverpool struggles on the pitch. Distraction much?
mintleaf: WHERE the FUCK is TYLER
realmrsTAA: he’s just having fun you miserable lot. leave my man alone 😤
YNWA_forever: he’s out clubbing while salah’s carrying the club? embarrassing look as vice cap
oh_shes_nosy: 4 am? with who though?? 👀 don’t let it be another ig baddie omg
ShutUpAndDefend: can’t defend on pitch but can defend a bottle of liquor fuck this guy
Footiebro: bruh just stay home and train. nobody asked for this shit wtf is his problem
DramaLlama12: this man said ‘defense’? never heard of her. shots at 4am? say lesssss
tumblrinagurl: need him to be so serious he’s messing up my fanfic posting schedule, follow the fucking script what the fuck
FPLQueen: this is exactly why i took him out of my fantasy team weeks ago. this is a big L
girl_shutup: not my man getting roasted while he’s just living his life 😭 y’all are haters fr
Shady_LFC: pov: you’re just a local lad from liverpool who wants to vibe
The entirety of the comments section was a battlefield. You sighed and toggled back to the email. It wasn’t your business what kind of PR storm he landed himself in, but if his camp was offering this type of money, he must’ve really fucked up.
Two days later, you found yourself in Manchester, sitting across from Tyler in a pristine meeting room at PLG. The room was sleek with chairs that looked expensive but were so uncomfortable. Tyler was polite but he didn’t look all that professional for someone who was supposed to be managing a high profile footballer.
“Uh, thanks for coming” he started, handing you a glossy folder. “I know it’s unconventional but I really think you’re the right person for this kind of arrangement.”
“Unconventional?” you raised an eyebrow, flipping through the paperwork. “Mate, this is unhinged. I’ve never had a request like this before.”
Tyler smiled sheepishly but just as he was about to respond, the door opened and Trent sauntered in. God forbid he enter the room like a normal person, he just had to be loud and obnoxious about it. He looked taller than you expected him to look, and he wore a tracksuit, totally unfashionable but it worked for him somehow. He nodded at Tyler before looking at you with an expression that was somewhere between bored and mildly annoyed.
“So this is her then, yeah?” Trent asked, as if you weren’t literally in the same room as him.
You leaned back in your chair, unimpressed. “And this is the guy who can’t keep his head on straight?”
Trent’s lips twitched as if he wanted to smile but refused to give you the satisfaction of it. Tyler exhaled, sensing there was likely more chaos to come from this little arrangement.
“Let’s stay focused” Tyler said firmly, pulling up the digital presentation he prepared. “The plan is to recalibrate Trent’s image and make him appear more serious and stable. Y/N’s audience aligns well with that narrative and her credibility can strengthen the likelihood of people believing this.”
“Sounds great” you said while closing the folder. “What’s in it for me though? Besides the headache.”
Trent snorted at your statement which earned him a glare from Tyler. “You’re getting paid aren’t you??”
“Trent.” Tyler replied sharply, then turned back to you. “There’s significant compensation and full creative control over your content. You also have the chance to build a connection with a large audience outside of your typical demographic. PLG will manage all the logistics and you don’t have to lift a finger unless you really want to.”
It was a good pitch, a lot better than you expected, but Trent’s attitude was already grating you. “I have one condition.” You snapped the folder shut dramatically and Tyler gestured for you to continue.
“I need your brother to at least pretend he’s interested in this. If he looks like he hates me in every picture my followers will clock it easily.”
Trent leaned back in his chair, smirking. “Relax. I’ll play nice.”
“You better” you shot back, grabbing your purse. “I’m not here to save your ass mate. I’m only doing it because the money is too good to pass up. And I actually know how to curate an image unlike you.”
Trent scoffed, rolling his eyes at your jab. “Curate an image? By doing what? Posting oat milk lattes and sunsets?”
“Try millions of people who actually care about what I say and what I buy” you fired back, standing up to adjust your bag strap. “But you? You’re lucky if anyone even reads your dry ass captions.”
Tyler pinched the bridge of his nose like he was deeply regretting his life choices. “Okay..enough. Both of you.” He turned to Trent with a warning expression. “Y/N is here to help you and we’re paying her a lot of money to make sure you don’t turn into a liability.”
Trent rubbed his hand over his forehead and crossed his arms, his smirk still in place. “Got it. I’ll be the perfect fake boyfriend.”
“You’re already bad at it” you muttered under your breath.
“Okay stop.” Tyler interrupted before Trent could come back with anything else. He stood up, motioning for you to sit back down. “We’ll need to go over specifics so you don’t mess up anything when this starts.”
“Right. Because I’m the one that’s gonna be a problem.” you answered back dryly, making Trent chuckle quietly. Tyler pulled up another presentation on screen with multiple bullet points and mocked up photos. “This is how this is gonna work. We’re going to start small with discreet hints like stories and maybe some pictures while you’re in Liverpool for the holidays. Make sure it’s subtle. Y/N, if your followers are eagle eyed we need to make sure it’s not too obvious at first.”
You nodded, already mentally calculating how to stage something that was lowkey but believable. “Got it. But what about him?” You jerked your thumb toward Trent, who looked like he would rather be anywhere but in the meeting room.
“He’ll match your posts,” Tyler said. “Simple stuff only though, like sharing ambiguous shots. Nothing too heavy.”
Trent scoffed and cocked his brow. “So what? Like a blurry picture of my trainers and call it a day?”
“Oh my god” you muttered, shaking your head. “You literally have no sauce. None. You’re so boring.”
“Moving on…” Tyler cut in before another argument could break out. “You’ll spend Christmas and Boxing Day with us at our family’s house in Liverpool. So you have to play the part for social media and for our parents, Marcel, and family friends. I’ll be the only one in on this.”
Trent frowned, not liking that idea at all. “Do they really need to be involved?”
“Yes.” Tyler answered matter of factly. “Because if we can’t convince them, then there’s no chance anyone else will believe it either.”
You raised your hand like you were in a classroom. “Mmk, quick question. What’s the backstory? How did we meet...how long have we been fake dating?”
Tyler pulled up a slide titled ‘Backstory’ and you glanced over it quickly, wanting to complain because it literally looked like he stole the idea from a girl blogger on the internet.
“You met at a private influencer event in London–”
Trent interrupted, “What’s an influencer event?”
You blinked at him. “Are you that fucking dumb?? There’s no way…”
“It’s like the stuff you post” Tyler deadpanned. “Clothes, photographers, influencers, models. Anyway...you hit it off, exchanged numbers and started seeing each other about four months ago and kept it lowkey because you wanted privacy.”
“Four months?” Trent questioned while frowning. “Isn’t that a little short?”
“Not when you’re a serial dating Libra…” you shot back. “And honestly the less time we pretend to have been together, the less likely we are to mess up the details.”
Tyler nodded. “Exactly that. But you still need to act like you’ve been dating for months. Know each other’s habits, inside jokes, favorite things.”
You tilted your head at Trent, narrowing your eyes. “Right. What’s your favorite food Trent?”
He looked like you asked him for the code to his house. “Um..protein I guess?”
“What? That’s not—I know you’re fucking lying” You slumped back in your chair, rubbing your temples from the regret. “This is going to be a disaster.”
Tyler ignored the tension and instead moved on. “After the holidays you’ll need to continue with the occasional post for the next month..just enough to keep the story alive online, but you don’t have to be seen with him publicly at all until February. We’ll do a hard launch in February with photos together and maybe a public appearance. After that, just a few photos online here and there.”
“And then we break up just in time for hot girl summer” you added, pretending it was a joke but it really wasn’t. You weren’t trying to let this affect your time on a yacht under the sun in Capri.
Trent smirked. “Hot girl summer??”
You gawked at him. “Meg the– wait are you serious? Are you on the internet at all??”
Tyler cut in with a firm voice. “Can you both shut up for two seconds? This will only work if it’s convincing. That means no fighting in front of people. Especially in public.” You rolled your eyes but stayed quiet, glancing over at Trent who was scrolling through his phone under the table. Probably googling himself knowing him.
After the meeting was over, you left the building with a heavy sigh that felt like it came straight from the soul. You couldn’t believe you accepted the proposal and were now under the contractual obligation to deal with Trent and his extensive attitude for the next six months. The cold air hit your face as you stepped into the car park and you pulled your purse closer as if to shield yourself from whatever chaos Trent was bound to bring in these next couple of months.
The sound of footsteps behind you made you groan internally. Speak of the devil.
“You always this fun or is it all for me?” His voice was smug, his accent rolled the words off in a way that made you have to pause just to think about what he said and that grated your nerves already. When you turned around, his hands were shoved into the pockets of his joggers, leaning against a black car. Of course he followed you out.
“Only for you mate. Consider it your welcome package..or an early Christmas gift” you deadpanned while still fumbling with your purse.
“Lucky me.” Somehow he made it sound like he meant it. Maybe he wasn’t all that clueless..or maybe he was just fucking with you.
“Don’t push it.” You yanked open the door of the hired car waiting for you, already done with his small talk.
“It won’t be so bad” he smirked, like it was some kind of joke to him. Like he wasn’t the one who needed this arrangement to clean up his trainwreck of an image.
“Just act like you’ve been somewhere before” You paused before you slid into the car. “Show up, smile, and don’t say anything stupid. That’s all I need from you. No more, no less.” You swung your legs in and reached for the door, about to close it, but his voice stopped you.
“Wait! What’s your favorite food?”
Your hand froze mid reach and you looked up to give him an unimpressed look. “Why?”
He shrugged, far too pleased with himself for someone whose job it was to not piss you off. “I think I should know. Seeing as I’m pretending to be the love of your life and all.”
The sheer audacity of this man was maddening. “Love of my life?? Please” you snorted. “I’m only mildly okay with you right now. I tolerate you. That’s it.”
“Ok. Fine. So what is it then?” he pressed, enjoying the way you rolled your eyes at nearly everything coming out of his mouth.
“Shrimp fried rice” you snapped, yanking the door shut. Through the tinted window you saw him grin and you shook your head, slumping into your seat as the car pulled off. You weren’t sure if it was the money, the challenge, or the audacity of Trent that made you agree to any of this.
Whatever it was, you knew it was going to be the longest six months of your life.
You made it to Manchester two days early to ‘acclimate’ as Tyler called it, but in all actuality you needed time to figure out how to make this situation feel less like reality TV. Posting subtle hints on Instagram was your first step. Just enough to start the speculation without turning everything into a circus. Your first story was a panoramic view of Manchester from your hotel room, where you left a cute caption about not being in London or Los Angeles for once. The comments rolled in nearly immediately. People wanted to know why you were in Manchester for the holidays, and whether it was for a brand deal, or a new beau. Your next story was a picture of your luggage, strategically unzipped to show a small piece of a Liverpool scarf tucked inside. You didn’t even caption it, you just let everyone draw their own conclusions.
Later that week, you were in the passenger seat of Trent’s car as he drove the both of you to Liverpool. It was silent, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, the silence was just there. You had your airpods in, half tuned into a podcast, while he had one hand on the wheel and the other scrolling through a Spotify playlist, probably looking for some stupid Drake song to play.
“This is your plan then?” he asked suddenly, breaking the silence.
You pulled out one airpod and glanced at him. “What?”
“This instagram stuff.” He gestured toward your phone. “I saw your story. Not bad. Kind of dramatic though..don’t you think?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Says the one having a PR disaster so terrible he had get his brother to hire a fake girlfriend for him.”
Trent smirked, turning his eyes back to the road. “Ah, fair. But a Liverpool scarf is a lot. That’s gonna cause some shit.”
“That’s the entire point. My followers will be on it in minutes and by the time we show up at your parents’, half the internet will have think pieces about how we’re madly in love.”
“Madly in love?” He shook his head, laughing. “That’s overkill.”
You shrugged, looking through your camera roll for your next post. “I know what I’m doing. Trust me.”
The Alexander-Arnold house was exactly what you imagined. It wasn’t obnoxiously huge but it was comfortable and cozy. The home’s exterior was decorated with Christmas lights and a wreath hung on the front door that looked handmade.
You stood on the doorstep with bated breath. Trent was next to you with his hands shoved in his pockets, as unbothered as ever. If he was nervous about selling this relationship to his family, it didn’t really show.
“Ready?” he asked with a faint smirk.
“Are you?” you cocked your brow. “I’m not the one who waited until two days ago to mention I existed.” Trent winced but didn’t respond and instead pressed the doorbell. You didn’t know why he did that considering he could’ve just walked in. Maybe he was nervous. Either way, him not taking the responsibility over the fact that his mum would probably clock both of you had you annoyed. The door opened shortly after and his mum stood there, all smiles and festive. There was a look in her eye that told you she wasn’t buying any of this nonsense from the start. “Oh! You must be Y/N!” she greeted warmly, stepping forward and pulling you into a hug before you could even say hello. The hug felt genuine enough, but it also had that undertone of ‘lets see whats really going on here’.
You blinked, trying not to overthink things. “Hiii, so nice to meet you Mrs. Alex–”
“Dianne. Just call me Dianne” she interrupted, pulling back but keeping her hands on your arms while looking at you. “No need to be formal. You’re family for the holidays.”
Family. Right. That’s what this was. You were Trent’s ‘girlfriend’. You forced a smile, ignoring the way your stomach was turning as a result of her response. Trent’s dad appeared behind his mum and he gave you a firm handshake, but his expression was less warm and more reserved.
“Welcome. Glad you’re here to join us” he said simply.
“Thanks for having me” you replied, trying to keep your tone polite but still warm.
Marcel was leaning against the staircase in the hall with his arms crossed, displaying a shit eating grin plastered across his face. “So” he began, dragging the word out as he straightened up and walked over with a stroll. “You’re the random girlfriend that’s popped up out of nowhere.”
You felt your pulse spike but you forced yourself to laugh. “Yeah..I guess that’s me.”
“Hmm” he hummed, tilting his head. “Funny you’ve never been mentioned before until two days ago. Not even once.”
Your smile tightened and you glanced at Trent, hoping he would swoop in and save the day with something clever but he just stood there looking like he was vaguely amused by the whole thing.
“Marcel, don’t be rude,” Dianne warned lightly.
“I’m not!” Marcel kissed his teeth. “I’m just saying it’s mad he’s never mentioned her and now she’s here for Christmas. I don’t know this girl..never seen her a day in my life.” He turned back to you with a cheeky grin. “How’d you meet? Paris? Milan? Ibiza??”
You really wanted to knock Trent upside his head at this point but instead you gave a sweet smile. “At a private influencer event actually.”
Dianne laughed, knowing her son wasn’t serious enough to attend a private event like that. She looked at him, trying to figure out if all of this was bullshit. Marcel didn’t even try to hide his disbelief. “Yeah, sure. What was the event called?”
Your stomach dropped and you went wide eyed. You could’ve googled literally anything about Trent’s past couple of months to make this more believable, but you didn’t and clearly neither had he. You paused to think for a little bit, which was just long enough for Marcel to attack.
“Yeah that’s what I thought” he smirked.
“Alright that’s enough” Dianne interrupted, but it was clear she was waiting for that answer as well. “Marcel leave the poor girl alone.”
Michael cleared his throat and stepped in. “Dinner’s in an hour.”
By the time Christmas dinner rolled around, you sat down next to Trent, almost too distracted by the food to notice the tension brewing at the table, but then his mum’s voice cut through your distraction like a blade wrapped in sugar.
“So Y/N..” She handed you a gravy boat with a fake smile. “How long have you two been together?”
“Four months” you answered with ease, remembering the backstory presentation. You looked at Trent for a brief moment to make sure he was following along.
“Three” Trent said through a mouthful of roasted potatoes while not even looking up.
You scrunched your face, blinking back disbelief. “Four.”
“No it’s three” he insisted, frowning as he reached for some rice. “September, right?”
“August” you corrected him through clenched teeth and kicked him under the table. His fork froze mid air and he finally looked at you.
“August?”
“Yes” you hissed, trying to keep the forced smile on your face while glancing back at his mum, who was watching like a hawk. “The end of August.”
Trent shrugged, and went back to eating the food from his plate. “That’s basically September.”
“It’s really not.”
Dianne’s eyes darted between both of you with a smile still there, but curiosity very obviously piqued. “Strange..” she started lightly. “I don’t remember hearing about you in August or September. He didn’t mention you until just a few days ago.” Marcel almost choked on his drink from laughing, and even their dad chuckled to himself before taking a sip of his drink.
“I didn’t want to jinx it that’s all” Trent said casually while leaning back in his chair, still popping food into his mouth.
You glared at him. “Jinx it?”
“Yeah” he smirked, looking at you. “Didn’t wanna rush things y’know?”
You bit down on the side of your cheek to keep from snapping at him. He wasn’t following the script at all. He was barely trying, mostly hoping to coast on charm like it would cover all the gaping holes in your ‘love’ story.
“Right…” Dianne slowly spoke while arching her brow just enough to make you feel nervous. “So where did this event happen again?”
“London” you answered fast before Trent found a way to ruin that too, but he answered at the same time as you, with a completely different answer.
“Paris.”
Marcel snorted into his drink, laughing so hard he started bumping the table and made the cutlery rattle. Across from you, their mum had a smile still on her face but the look on her face drilled right into your badly built backstory. She didn’t say anything, but you knew she had more questions when she eyed Michael with a knowing glance. You turned to Trent, narrowing your eyes at him and gave him another kick under the table that landed on his shin. He jumped forward and dropped his fork on his plate.
“London” you repeated in a tight voice with a smile that was more of a grimace. “We met in London at the influencer event.”
Trent nodded, rubbing his shin but still smirking, not taking any of this seriously. “Yeah London. The city with all the..... influencer stuff.”
Marcel nearly slid out of his chair from failing to keep his laughs at an appropriate volume at the table. Dianne looked at him with a warning but it didn’t bother him in the slightest. He leaned forward and rested his chin on his hand with an entertained look on his face. “Oh yeah?” he said grinning. “Since you’re so in love, what’s her favorite food then?”
You could see the gears in Trent’s head trying their very best to come up with an answer while he chewed his food. “Uhhh....” He drew the word out for so long you wanted to answer for him. “Shrimp fried rice?” You let out a soft exhale, surprised he actually listened in the car park. Marcel wasn’t impressed and tipped his head back to cackle.
“Took you long enough to answer.”
By this point, the entire family was trying to hide their laughs from the absurdity of the situation. Their dad even cracked a smile and shook his head as he passed a plate of roasted veggies to Marcel.
“Trent” Dianne dabbed her mouth with a napkin, still smiling. “You’re absolutely hopeless when it comes to relationships.”
“I’m not hopeless” he contested, glaring at Marcel who was still in stitches over the whole ordeal.
“Oh, love” you said sweetly, leaning in close enough to lower your voice. “You really are.”
He tilted his head, cutting his eyes at you but he had a playful look in his eye at the same time. “Careful. You’re supposed to be in love with me, remember?”
You smirked, raising your glass like you were doing a toast. “I must be a really great actress then.”
The sound of the door opening saved you from whatever dumb thing Trent was about to say. Tyler walked in a casual rush, juggling a reusable tote bag and his phone. “Sorry I’m late.” He slid in the chair next to Michael. His wife wasn’t far behind and had a baby on her hip, smiling to make up for Tyler’s disheveled state.
“Tyler!” Dianne exclaimed, momentarily distracted by her eldest child. “We were just about to have dessert. There’s plenty of food left, let me fix you a plate.”
“No need” Tyler replied while waving her off with a smile. His gaze shifted to you first, and then Trent. “You two alright?”
“Great.” Trent answered, dragging the word out in a very unbothered tone.
“Fantastic” you added, side eyeing Trent.
“Good..” Tyler clapped his hands together. “Because I brought something to make this whole thing even better.” From the tote bag, Tyler pulled out two neatly wrapped presents and handed one to both of you under the table with a wink.
“What’s this?” you asked in a whisper, frowning while trying to discreetly look at the tag.
“Just go with it,” Tyler whispered back. “It strengthens the story. Just act surprised.”
Trent shook the box in his hands like it came from the North Pole, fresh off the sleigh. “What is it?” he asked, too loud for the covert operation Tyler planned.
Marcel’s eyes lit up immediately. “Hey, what’s all that?”
“It’s nothing” you glared at Trent and then Marcel. “Just something we brought for each other.”
Dianne’s attention turned back to you and you felt her sizing up the gifts that had randomly appeared all of a sudden. “How thoughtful…”
You reluctantly tore into the wrapping paper. Inside, there was a Diptyque gift set and a pair of designer sunglasses from Jacques Marie Mage that were so exclusive they had yet to hit most influencer’s feeds. It was perfectly on brand and very believable. Trent unwrapped his gift with the same flair of a child. Inside was a custom bag from Goyard with his initials engraved, and a high tech Hypervolt massage gun that hadn’t been released yet.
“Nice” Trent exclaimed while holding both up like it was a trophy. “You have good taste baby.”
Baby?
The table paused collectively. Dianne’s eyes froze on both of you, Marcel peered at you over the rim of his glass, Michael leaned back with a curious look on his face. Tyler gave you a subtle thumbs up from across the table and you wanted to strangle him.
“Baby?” you repeated in a confused tone. “Where did that come from?”
“Just felt right. Don’t you think?” Trent shrugged with a smirk.
You clenched your teeth, glancing over at the baby that was now side eyeing you too. You gave her a sweet smile and she frowned at you more. “Oh it’s perfect.”
Michael broke the silence with a hearty laugh. “Well..it’s nice to see you two so close.”
“Oh, we’re close” you said quickly, giving Trent a look that could kill.
“Basically inseparable” he added, winking as he set the gifts on the table. Tyler cleared his throat to try and get the conversation back on track. “So, Mum..what’s for dessert?”
Thank god Dianne didn’t press any further after Tyler’s distraction, but you knew this was far from over. When no one was watching, Trent leaned toward you in a low and smug voice. “Relax. You’re doing great.”
You didn’t even bother looking at him because you were so annoyed.
“Stick to the script or I swear I’ll throw one of these Diptyque candles at your head.”
Trent chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Looking forward to it…..baby.”
By the time dinner was over, you walked upstairs to kick off your heels and Trent had already claimed the bathroom. You could hear the sound of running water and his terrible singing drifting through the door as you sat on the bed, laying out your carefully curated skincare routine: cleansing oil for your makeup removal, glycerin cleanser for moisture, red light therapy, centella toner, hyaluronic acid serum, eye serum, ceramidin moisturizer, a spritzer of atobarrier cream mist, and a sleeping lip mask. You lined them up on the table like little soldiers. When Trent finally came out of the shower, his towel was wrapped around his hips and he paused mid step, staring at your collection of bottles and jars.
“What the hell is all of that?” he asked, pointing with his toothbrush still in hand.
“It’s called flawless, glass skin” you shot back, reaching for the oil cleanser and heading to the bathroom. He leaned against the wall with a smirk. “You look like a chemist.”
“Don’t knock it til you try it” you ignored him as you massaged the oil cleanser into your skin. “This is why I look like this” you gestured to your face, “and you’re just...you know.”
Cute? He was cute. But there was no need to gas him up.
“Just what?”
“Nevermind.” you muttered, grabbing your face towel.
“Nah. Finish it. Go on” he teased, stepping gloser. “Already halfway there anyway.”
You glared at him. “If you don’t get out of my face…” Trent turned to adjust the towel around his hip and it slipped. The towel fell on the floor and his dick was in full display. Not bad honestly – thick with a slight curve that was...kind of aesthetically pleasing. Your mouth dropped before you could realize and you turned around so fast you almost knocked over a serum bottle.
“Oh my god! Trent!”
“What?” he asked, way too casual for someone who just flashed you. “It’s just skin. You’re acting like you’ve never seen one before.”
“Not the point!” you yelled, keeping your eyes firmly on the wall while he laughed. Eventually, he bent down to grab the towel and you could hear the smirk in his voice when he spoke again.
“Chill. Don’t act like you weren’t curious about it anyway. Gonna post my dick report anonymously online now?”
You turned back to glare at him now that he was safely wrapped back in the towel. “Please. I’m sure the girls you were with at 4am have already done that for you. Just..don’t let it happen again or I’m actually going to gouge my eyes out.”
He grinned at you, strolling over to the bed like he didn’t just traumatize you. “You’re dramatic. It’s cute.”
After the dick debacle, you climbed into bed, muttering under your breath about boundaries and respect. Trent flopped down next to you while scrolling through his phone without a care in the world.
“You’re actually so annoying” you said while setting up the perfect soft launch shot.
“Yeah, I’ve heard that one a few times,” he replied without looking up.
You ignored him to focus on the picture. It was supposed to be subtle, yet strategic: your skincare bottles glowed under the warm light from the lamp on the bedside table. In the background, Trent was slightly blurred from the setting, yet identifiable as he laid on the bed, legs crossed with his phone in one hand. The caption you added: ‘never let santa stop this slay, skincare always 🎄✨’. By the time you posted the story, your phone was already pinging because SpillTheBeansUK had posted it with a quickness.
SpillTheBeansUK: Who’s the mystery man in Y/N’s background? The skincare? Impeccable. The vibes? Cozy. But that ARM…who’s claiming it? 🕵️♀️
ynstan99: WAIT. WHO IS THAT IN THE BACKGROUND?
liverpoolbabe01: that’s defo liverpool and that’s trent’s fam’s house i recognize it bc my mum’s cousin’s best friend’s sister’s brother in law lives just across the road omg she bagged a footballer???
nosygirlfc: GIRL WE KNOW THAT’S TRENT WE’RE NOT DUMB
“What are you posting?” Trent asked, glancing over at your screen.
“Work” you replied simply, turning your phone toward him. “You see that? That’s how you soft launch.”
He studied the story for a bit and nodded while smirking. “Not bad. My turn.”
“You’re posting something?”
“Yup” he replied plainly, scrolling through his camera roll. Minutes later he posted a random photo of his feet propped on a coffee table next to the Christmas tree downstairs, with your phone case barely visible at the edge of the frame that he took earlier. His caption was lame and boring: Holiday vibes.
“That’s so pathetic” you shook your head.
“It’s subtle,” he argued, leaning back against the pillows.
“It’s lazy” you argued back, setting your phone off to the side.
“Lazy works.” He turned off the light, smirking. You rolled your eyes but didn’t respond and pulled the blanket up while turning away from him. The room went quiet before he broke the silence with his sarcasm just as you were starting to drift off to sleep. “Night, my love.”
--
You should’ve known Boxing Day wasn’t going to be about lounging around in pajamas and eating leftovers while scrolling through Instagram in peace. Not when Tyler was involved.
The man had sent a fully detailed itinerary to both of you at an ungodly hour that morning, outlining what he dramatically called ‘The Boxing Day Stroll’. The plan was to head to Manchester, walk around casually, and let the pre-arranged paparazzi do their thing. Of course it wouldn’t be all that easy because the man had already messed up damn near everything else in this facade.
“Just act natural” Tyler said while driving you over to the staged area. “And look like you can’t get enough of each other.” As the car pulled to a stop, you glanced over at Trent who was slouched in his seat, lazily scrolling through a dating app on his phone when he was supposed to be fake dating you.
“You do remember what we’re doing, right?” you asked.
“Walking” he said without looking up.
“Walking and looking like we’re deeply, madly, dangerously in love” you corrected him. “So don’t glare, or pout, and don’t say anything idiotic when someone asks what my name is.”
Trent finally looked up and his lips curved into that same infuriating smirk that pissed you off. “You’re very bossy, you know that?”
“And you’re very bad at following directions.” you argued back.
“Relax baby. I’ll be on my best behaviour.”
“Don’t call me baby” you muttered while pulling the car door open before he could irritate you anymore than he already had.
The city was packed with people entering storefronts, couples and families carrying bags from Boxing Day sales, and kids running around screaming from sugar rush. The holiday vibes were still in full force and picturesque enough for you to almost forget the cameras until you heard the sound of a shutter. You tensed and looked over to the source of the sound but Trent was still unbothered by it, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. He must’ve done these before. He annoyingly looked good even though all he did was throw on whatever was closest. Meanwhile, your fit was carefully curated and you wore a cute co-ord jumper over a wool coat, jeans, chocolate brown booties with a ribbed fold over knit fabric, a crossbody bag, and assorted jewelry from PR packages you received.
“Hold my hand” you whispered through clenched teeth with a frozen smile while passing a group of shoppers.
“What?”
“Hold. My. Hand.” you repeated with a forced expression while waving at an eager little boy who looked more interested in Trent than you. He rolled his eyes but reached for your hand. His palms were warm and comforting, annoyingly enough.
“Happy now?”
“Ecstatic,” you replied through your fake smile, tilting your head to pretend you were saying something cute instead of wanting to knock him upside his head. As you walked down the street, you could see the paps positioning themselves and whispering about different angles. You stopped in front of a shop window that had the most gorgeous jewellery and pretended to admire a necklace while pulling Trent closer.
“That one’s nice” you pointed to a random piece on display.
“Eh. Too shiny.” he glanced at it for all of two seconds.
You side eyed him. “Too shiny?? It’s a necklace.”
“Yeah. It looks tacky as fuck” he smirked.
“You think that’s tacky?” you cracked back. “You don’t even know how to dress. You have multiple pairs of the same trainers and tracksuits. That’s tacky.”
“Nah. They’re not all the same. Some of them are for athletic wear and the others are for leisure. There’s a difference.”
You almost laughed but quickly covered it with a cough instead. This man was ridiculous in his own way, and it was kind of endearing. When you turned the corner to a quieter street, the paps pretended to be hidden behind strategically placed stalls, waiting for the perfect shot. “Okay..” you muttered, leaning into Trent just enough to be believable. “Let’s just make this quick. Look at me like I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
“Not too hard to do. You’re easy on the eyes.”
You lost your steps for a little and muttered, “Don’t overdo it,” brushing a nonexistent strand of hair from your face to behind your ear. “Just be calm.”
“I’m calm” he countered, lightly grazing his thumb over your knuckles. “You’re really committed to this shit, huh?”
“Well..your management team is paying me for this so yeah..I am” you tightly smiled. The cameras kept taking photos but you didn’t look toward them this time so that they could get exactly what was needed. The pictures hit the interwebs almost instantly and they were good. There was a candid of you mid laugh as Trent looked at you with a soft expression and melting grin. The second one was a close up of your hands intertwined while you leaned into him. The angle it was taken in made it look like you were sharing a private moment in the middle of a crowded street. The final picture was of Trent breaking off a piece of chocolate and feeding it to you while smiling in a cozy corner of a small shop. That wasn’t planned though, the joy from that was the real deal.
Before you made it back to the car, Tyler was already in the group chat, hyping both of you up. The pictures were reposted by SpillTheBeans too:
SpillTheBeansUK: Trent Alexander-Arnold spotted out with influencer Y/N L/N looking very cozy in Manchester on Boxing Day. Rumour has it, this love story started a few months ago...Any thoughts, Beans? 👀
ynstan99: sobbing, crying, throwing up. LOOK AT THEM
whatRUonabt: PR but i can’t even hate she’s gorg and they look good
reds4vr_: not convinced after that stunt he pulled last week during match. this is obviously fake news to get us off his back
chirpchirp: she’s just like me fr but i can hold his hand better footiebro: she’s leng but i hope bro isn’t serious he’s got too many distractions
giseleeee_: i give it 3 months before they announce a break up this is fake as fuck
plsbereal: imagine him holding her camera silently while she films vlogs and ootd’s i’m screaming 🥺
YNsquad: i can’t wait until she posts her next chaotic story and he’s in the background. confirm it queen!!
You scrolled through all the chaotic comments, shaking your head as Trent leaned in to peek at your screen. “What are they saying?” he asked, more invested than he wanted to let on.
“My fans think you’re obsessed with me” you held back your grin while showing him the comments.
“Nah. Other way around I think” he smirked, cocking his brow.
“Whatever” you rolled your eyes, still scrolling through your phone as the car pulled away.
By the time midweek rolled around, you were wondering why you agreed to any of this. Sitting in the box at Anfield felt like you were walking into enemy territory. This was...cute, but not really your vibe. The launch strategy was working so Tyler insisted you show up to keep up this festive fairytale. The box was filled with WAGS and family members dressed up. You weren’t entirely out of place, your fit was eating theirs up rightfully so, but you still felt like a fish out of water every time someone looked at you for too long. You tried to make the most out of it and half an hour into the match, you posted a curated story of a video on the field, zoomed in just enough to show everyone on the field in clear view with the caption: not usually my vibe but i’ll allow it ⚽
The second slide was a chaotic close up of your freshly done nails in an almond shape holding a drink. The third was a shaky clip of the crowd cheering just as Trent assisted with a goal. It didn’t take long for you know who to start some mess.
SpillTheBeansUK: Y/N posts from the box after her Boxing Day photoshoot with TAA! Official or not? Let the investigations begin 🕵️♀️
loverpoolluvr: she’s just posting random stories. y’all are reading too much into it
overlibramen: how are you lot defending this? man has a new personality every week. let’s bffr
ynbabesfc: nails immaculate and she’s living rent free in your head and trent’s. COPE
sleuthysleuth: the timeline makes sense i’ve got the receipts and it tracks
trentsgfwannabe: i bet she doesn’t even like football and he deserves someone who can actually appreciate the sport
By the time you and Trent made it back to the house that night, you were drained to hell. The day was filled with forced smiles, cameras, and a lot of online chaos that you tried not to look at but ended up scrolling through anyway.
“You okay?” Trent asked in a softer voice than you expected for someone who supposedly didn’t care.
“I’m fine..” you mumbled while grabbing an oversized hoodie you borrowed from him earlier in the week and some pajama shorts. “I just feel like I’m so out of my element right now.”
Trent had already claimed his spot on the bed and was scrolling through his phone with one hand and eating crisps out of the other. “You’re not that bad at it” he replied, looking up at you as you climbed on your side of the bed.
“Wow thanks” you responded dryly and grabbed one of the snacks he was holding out for you. You were both on your phones, scrolling through various apps while crisp bags crinkled noisily through the silence.
“…Do you ever get nervous or scared?” you asked to break through the silence.
“Nervous or scared about what?” He set his phone down, looking at you with a confused look.
“Of losing yourself with all the fame. It’s like.. I’ve built this whole brand online on my own and I have an audience that trusts me a lot because my whole thing is based on being real with them. But this is....not real. And it feels wrong.” You gestured at him and then you. “I’m scared it’s going to ruin things for me.”
Trent nodded at you and took a deep breath. “Yeah, I get it. Everything I do on or off the pitch always feels like it’s for someone else. I don’t always know what I want. And I change my mind a lot.”
You looked at him in surprise, taken aback by what you assumed was honesty. “Really?”
“Yeah..” he leaned back against the headboard. “Feels like I’m a product and not a person sometimes. Sometimes I rebel every once in a while but I guess I took it too far this time.”
For the first time, you saw him as Trent and not some footballer with a PR disaster on his hands. “Well...at least we have this to bond over. Being fake together.”
He laughed then grinned at you with a wide smile. “Yeah...something like that.”
“It’s kind of weird though. Because for something so fake...it’s starting to feel like it’s...not. Since we’re together all the time and whatnot.”
Trent cocked a brow at your last statement. You opened your mouth to backtrack and say something snarky or petty, but your phone rang against the bedside table. The screen lit up with a facetime call and your stomach dropped when you saw the name.
Romeo Cruz.
Romeo was a rising singer in LA that had all the charm, charisma, and a voice that made every girl want to melt. He slid into your DMs months ago, and while it wasn’t anything super serious, there was definitely flirting going on, and it was FUN. You glanced at Trent who was also looking at your screen.
“Who’s that?”
You reached for your phone with hesitation. “Uhh..just someone I know. No biggie.”
Trent leaned back on the headboard with a clenched jaw. “Yeah? Someone important enough to facetime you at nearly midnight?”
You rolled your eyes and ignored him, answering the call anyway. “Romeo! Hey.” On the screen, Romeo appeared with tousled curly hair, a signature smile with dimples, a sharp jawline, and beautifully glowing, sun kissed skin. “Hey beautiful” he dripped in his velvety, deep and smooth voice. “Just checking in. Haven’t heard from you in a while.”
“Yeah, sorry” your tone was a bit light, a little flirty, but you were nervous because Trent was right there, burning his eyes into the side of your face. “Life has been....busy. A little chaotic but you know me, I love that.”
Romeo noticed the tension inflicted in your voice and cocked his head back from the screen a bit in concern. “You good? Where are you? LA or London?”
You didn’t get a chance to answer because Trent reached over and took the phone from your hands like it was his own phone. “She’s busy right now.” He answered for you in a flat tone, holding up the phone so Romeo could see him and his annoying smirk.
“Uh.. and who are you?”
“Her boyfriend,” Trent replied smoothly. “Thanks for the check in mate but she’s good. We’re in the middle of something.” He paused for the drama of it all and then looked at you.
Romeo had a look of disbelief and irritation showing on his face. “Well tell her to call when she’s–”
Trent didn’t let him finish and took the opportunity to cup your chin with one hand, pulling you into a kiss. For something that was fake it felt way too convincing. You felt butterflies in your stomach as his lips met yours. He didn’t pull away immediately, but when he did you were dazed and out of breath. Too stunned to speak. Romeo saw it all and Trent’s face lit up with the cockiest grin ever.
“Yeah I doubt that mate. She’ll be too tired.” He hit the button to end the call.
“What the fuck was that?” you stared at him, your mouth agape in shock.
“What?”
“What????” you repeated, the volume in your voice increasing. “You just kissed me and basically told him I’m taken..like I’m your actual girlfriend! What the fuck??”
Trent popped a crisp into his mouth, chewing obnoxiously and meeting your death glare with a calm look, then he shrugged. “Just following the script, remember?”
--
By New Years Eve, your public side of the bargain was winding down, but Trent was still annoying you more than ever, even after the kiss. The sound of him chewing in your ear was still echoing days later as you stood in front of the mirror of the hotel, adjusting your ponytail again. Your hair was slicked back with the ends flipped up in soft curls that bounced whenever you moved. You had two loose strands in the front. Your followers knew those strands as your ‘slut strands’ – a term you coined because whenever you had those two strands framing your face, things always ended up a little wild. Between the alcohol flowing at the NYE party, the DJ, and Trent by your side, you knew something was bound to happen. You were always a Chatty Cathy on the juice, and the strands were an unofficial warning label that signified you were about to be everyone’s best friend, or a major problem. You adjusted your dress and gave yourself a final look in the mirror. You were trying to give unbothered girlie with a hint of ruining someone’s life one drink at a time. You grinned at yourself, knowing you looked like you were that girl™.
Just as you were about to spritz your perfume, Tyler texted the group chat:
Start heading to the club. The event is popping off atm. Pap friendly corner is just outside near the bar’s exit so make it count.
You rolled your eyes in annoyance. Of course Tyler felt the need to micromanage the party from a distance while acting like he wasn’t the most hands off manager in the industry. He could barely schedule Trent’s interviews on time but was now suddenly invested in making this fake relationship seem so solid. You just wanted to have a good time and be free of this nonsense publically like your contract originally stated.
“I can’t believe all three of the Alexander-Arnold boys are this annoying” you muttered under your breath while putting your heels on.
Your contract made it clear that New Year’s Eve was the grand finale for the public part of the facade. After tonight, you wouldn’t have to parade around looking like you were madly in love anymore. The plan was to silently pull back and make the relationship seem more private with the occasional story, casual mentions, and reposts every once in a while until June, where you would announce a breakup and be free of him for good. You grabbed your purse and headed for the door to meet Trent downstairs. If this was going to be the last time you had to fake it, you were going out with a bang..and you were going to have some fun with it too just to celebrate the end of this mess.
When you reached the lobby of the hotel, Trent was waiting for you and scrolling through his phone. He looked good, his trim was crisp, his fit wasn’t terrible, and he smelled amazingly good. He lowered his phone, eyeing you from head to toe with a clenched jaw.
“Damn” he voiced involuntarily.
You tried to avoid smirking and adjusted the strap of your dress but a smirk still appeared anyway. “That’s it? Just damn? I put a lot of effort in for this look…”
He licked over his lips and finally looked you in the eye. “Then you already know how you look.”
“You’re lucky I’m feeling great or else I’d make you say it with more enthusiasm.”
“Trust me” he started, running a hand over his head. “I’m enthusiastic but you don’t need a bigger head than you already have.”
You rolled your eyes and brushed past him to head to the car waiting outside, your heels tapping against the marbled lobby floor. “Shut up and come on. I can’t deal with you while sober tonight. I need a drink.”
By the time you made it to the club, it was already pure chaos. The bass was so heavy you could feel it in your chest as you walked through the VIP area. There were strobe lights flashing around, illuminating random moments of chaos. A group of footballers were trying to outdrink each other in a booth stacked with empty Clase Azul bottles, an influencer in a bright dress was dancing on a table with a sparkler in one hand, and a model was yelling at a bartender because she couldn’t find a tiny baggie of white substance she drunkenly left at the bar who knows how long ago.
When you and Trent walked in, heads turned and whispers cut through the air. His hand brushed against your back to keep up with the facade. The scent in the air was...interesting. It was a blend of liquor, sweat, perfume and the faint tang of weed smoke. You knew tonight was going to leave a mark whether it be on your reputation, your conscience, or both.
“Where’s Tyler’s pap friendly corner again?” you asked, leaning into Trent so you wouldn’t have to yell over the blaring music.
“Near the bar. But let’s grab a drink first.”
You followed him as the hem of your dress brushed against your thigh. The bar was wild. People were pushing against each other like they would run out of alcohol, or maybe they just really wanted the Getty Images watermark with a top face card photo to memorialize the end of the year. The bartender was busy juggling a bottle of Hennessy with one hand, and pouring multiple shots with the other hand, all while someone was yelling for espresso martinis from the corner.
“Champagne? Martini?” Trent asked, turning to you as you perched against the counter with your hips leaning into the wood.
You shook your head. “A round of shots from top shelf and a coconut water.”
“Uh...that’s specific.” He turned to the bartender, ordering for you and himself.
“It’s so I can get fucked up but still stay hydrated from the electrolytes.” Your hands grazed over the two strands of your hair, very diva like. “You wouldn’t understand. It’s my whole thing..it even went viral on tiktok. Don’t knock it til you try it.”
The drinks arrived quicker than you expected and you downed a couple shots immediately in between sipping the coconut water. Trent nursed his vodka soda with lime, scanning the room with his eyes.
“Don’t be boring” you said, gently shoving two shots closer to him.
“I’m not boring” he replied, eyeing the shots and the way your nails grazed against the top surface of the bar.
“Then prove it. Drink the shots and come dance with me.”
He shook his head before reaching for the shots and downing them both. “I don’t dance.”
“Oh my god, shut the fuck up and live a little” you quickly finished the last of your shots and coconut water and then grabbed his hand, leading him to the dancefloor as the curls in your ponytail bounced between the bass reverberating through the club.
The crowd on the dance floor was just as chaotic in a sea of gyrating bodies and heat. You were too tipsy to be sure of what the DJ switched the song to, but it felt seductive and made you sway your hips automatically. The music took control before your brain could even think about it. You turned toward Trent, moving your body to the beat with ease while he watched. He was locked in, staring at you so hard it almost looked like he didn’t realize he was eyeing you like that.
“You’re really not gonna dance?” you teased, tilted your head as you stepped closer with a flirty smirk.
“I told you I don’t–”
“Shut up Trent” you playfully grabbed his hand and pulled him further into the crowd. “Just dance with me.”
As the alcohol coursed through you, you let your hips find the beat, rolling against him with just enough pressure to test him. You felt him tense up behind you, holding his hands just above your waist like he didn’t know whether to grab you or run away.
“Aren’t you Jamaican?” you yelled over your shoulder with a smirk. “Just relax and let the beat find you.”
He let out an exhale and finally rested his hand on your hip. You arched back a little, grinding into him more and his other hand landed on your ass. His body was betraying him and his breath quickened, trying to think of anything else but your ass grinding against his dick so he wouldn’t get hard. His jaw was tight but then his lips parted when his eyes dropped to the way you were rolling your hips against him. He was barely blinking as he stared. Trent’s grip tightened just enough for you to become aware of it.
“You like dancing, don’t you?” you teased again.
“This isn’t dancing.”
“No?” you dared, grinding against him harder. “Then what is it?”
Trent’s fingers dug into your waist and pulled you up against him. His head dipped closer to your neck and he bit his lip like he was fighting the urge to kiss you there. The lines were quickly blurring in the fog of alcohol and you weren’t sure who was pushing harder to cross them. His breath was hot against your neck as you danced up against him. You felt something stiffen against his lower half but you were so tipsy you thought it was his phone. Trent abruptly pulled back, letting go of you as you stood there confused.
“I need a drink.” He turned back toward the crowd, leaving you standing there trying to catch your breath. Your heart was pounding and your body was bouncing with energy that had nowhere to go thanks to the shots and coconut water you had. Before you knew it, a voice yelled your name, but it wasn’t Trent.
It was Levi Colwill.
“Ahh, Y/N! Trent’s better half” Levi slid into Trent’s place, handing you a shot. “Got your favorite.”
You handed it back to him, forcing a smile. “Levi…”
“You look like you could use some better company” he eyed the outline of your body. “Not that Trent’s bad but..you know I’ll dance with you. Just saying.”
You rolled your eyes but still laughed at him...because you were drunk. “Still stirring the pot like always.”
“You know that’s what I do” He downed the shot you refused. “What you been up to? I know you’re exhausted pretending to be with Trent.”
The alcohol made you bolder. “You get me! He’s so annoying sometimes.”
Levi stepped closer, yelling into your ear over the music. “You know where to find me. Send me a DM when it’s all–”
“Levi” Trent slurred in an irritated tone. “Get the fuck out of here.”
Levi shook his head, sipping the drink in hand and then smirked at Trent. “I was just saying hello.”
Trent gripped your wrist firmly but not painful as he pulled you away from Levi and into a quieter corner of the club, which just so happened to be near the bar’s exit where the paps were waiting for the perfect moment to take pictures.
“What the hell was that?” you hissed, yanking your arm free.
“What was what?” Trent snapped back.
“Dragging me away like some jealous boyfriend. That’s not part of the script Trent.”
Trent’s jaw clenched and he stepped closer, leaning into your ear. “You were enjoying that too much. We’re supposed to be together..you can’t flirt with other guys here.”
You laughed, not believing your ears. “Are you dumb?! You walked away like you couldn’t handle it! I’m just trying to have fun tonight.”
“I walked away because you were making me hard.” he shot back in a drunken state, not realizing what he just admitted to.
Your brain short circuited under the fog of alcohol as the music thumped around you. All you could focus on was the thought of Trent standing in front of you, hard, because you danced on him. Then your brain took it a step further and you remembered the night his towel slipped. You had a split glimpse of him on soft and now your tipsy mind was wondering what it looked like on hard. You felt the heat from your cheeks trail down slowly, making your mouth feel dry and knees weak. You were trying to think of literally anything else but the alcohol coursing through your veins wasn't doing you any favors and neither was the way he was looking at you. Trent’s teeth pulled at his bottom lip like he was fighting his thoughts too. You shifted closer to him, playing with a strand of hair framing your face.
“Trent..” you began in a whisper. You didn’t know if you wanted to apologize, flirt, or tell him to just kiss you. His head dipped toward yours as his lips inched toward yours slowly. You were leaning in without even realizing it and his hands hovered over your waist hesitantly. Your eyes dropped to his lips and you saw him lick his lips like he was priming them.
“Y/N!”
A shrill voice broke through whatever was about to happen and you blinked back as someone grabbed your arm. It was another influencer you knew from a brand event but you couldn’t remember her name in your drunken state. She grinned and hugged you like she didn’t just ruin the most dramatic non-kiss of your life.
“Oh my days, girl I haven’t seen you in forever!” she yelled, dragging you toward a VIP booth that was probably just as chaotic as the rest of the club. Trent stood there with an unreadable expression watching as you were pulled away. He turned his gaze to the paparazzi outside who were very pissed they didn’t get their perfect shot.
Just as the countdown to midnight was about to begin, you found your way back to Trent. The club was louder than ever as the final minutes of the year ticked away. Trent was still in the same spot, nursing a fresh drink while the other hand was shoved in his pocket. He noticed you before you could say anything and you saw his eyes lock onto you with a certain look in his eye.
“Perfect timing” you giggled when you reached him, pulling him closer toward the exit where the paps were standing guard. “This is where Tyler wants us so let’s just get it over with.” You positioned yourselves near the glass doors so they would have a better view. The cold air from outside cooled you down a little, but it did nothing to knock any sort of clarity into you. As soon as the crowd started counting down, the air became tented with anticipation.
10...
9...
Your heart was beating fast against your chest and the alcohol made every sensation feel way stronger. You tilted your face up a little to meet his eyes, but he was already staring at you. Trent’s hand reached to cup your chin and tilt your face further upward.
8...
7...
His thumb brushed over the corner of your lip and the sensation made you exhale softly. He looked you in the eyes first, then at your lips, then back up at your eyes again, making you feel dizzy yet excited at the same time.
6...
5...
You parted your lips slightly with heavily lidded eyes. Both of you were supposed to be ‘acting’ but whatever was going on right now was not staged. His other hand found the dip in your waist, pulling you close enough to feel the fire in his eyes.
4...
3...
You leaned in at the same time, moving on instinct from the magnetism as the cameras outside began to flash. The paps were losing their minds and the shutters went off wildly, but all you could think about was how badly you wanted this kiss.
2...
1...
The room erupted into loud yelling, cheers, and champagne bottles popping as fireworks lit up the London sky outside. The second the cloud struck midnight, Trent’s lips lit a flame in you that made your whole body have goosebumps. His hand found your ass, gripping it firm enough to make you gasp and the tiny noise coming out of you motivated him even more. Your body arched into his as you continued kissing him in a way too entirely real make out session. You palmed the fabric over his dick and he groaned into your mouth, making you moan into his mouth in response. The crowd around you celebrated to a very random club remix of Auld Lang Syne but you were too wrapped up in him to care about celebrating the new year.
You finally pulled back breathless while staring at him. His lips were a little swollen but the fire was still in his eyes.
“We need to leave before they get the wrong pics” you blurted out, slurring your words from being tipsy but also flustered.
“Yeah” he said with his hand still on the curve of your back. “Hotel?”
“Hotel.”
When you made it back to the hotel and the lift doors closed, your back hit the mirrored wall as Trent pinned you into the corner. His hand slid over your thighs and the fabric of your dress bunched up.
“Thought I annoyed you” he muttered against your ear as his fingers slipped between your thighs.
“You still do” you replied back sassily, but then you gasped when he found the thin strap of your thong and tugged it against the folds of your pussy. The friction made you whimper and you dug your nails into his arm for stability. “But I can multitalk.”
“Yeah?” He smirked, gripping your thigh to open you up more. His other hand kept working the fabric of the thong, sliding it up and down until you were grinding against his knuckles. “Fuck you're soaked. This for me?”
“Shut up” you hissed while tugging at the button of his jeans with shaky fingers. When the lift dinged on your floor, you barely made it to the room before his hands were pulling, grabbing, and claiming you. He pressed you against a huge window of the hotel room while the fireworks were still popping off in the night sky.
“Take it off” you demanded, yanking at Trent’s shirt.
He pulled it over his head to show off his toned, muscled body that had been haunting you since the towel accident. You didn’t have much time to admire any of it because his hands were already undoing your dress, dropping it to your feet. The cool glass of the window pressed up against your bare skin and you shook a little when his lips latched on your neck, sucking and biting while his hands roamed over you. You moaned his name in a whimpered beg and arched into him when his mouth moved down to your boobs. His tongue ran over your nipple and he wrapped his lips around it, suckling gently and massaging the other with his hand. You gasped, clutching his shoulders and melting your body into his.
“You beg so pretty” he murmured against your skin. “What do you want, pretty girl? Tell me.”
“You” you panted in a trembling voice. “I need you inside me now.”
Trent groaned and ran his fingers between your folds to find your clit. The circles he rubbed against the sensitive nub made you moan loudly. “Not yet,” he rasped. “Need to feel how ready you are.” A broken sob escaped you when his fingers slid inside your pussy. His fingers were long enough to reach a spot that made your knees weak as he worked you open. Your head fell against the window as the squelch of your wetness filled the hotel room.
“Good girl” he coaxed, and your walls clenched around his fingers in response. He laughed and you could feel his smirk against your skin. “You like that, huh? You like being told how good you are?”
“Yesss” you gasped, grinding against his hand. “Fuck yes.”
He pulled his fingers out and you whined but the sound quickly turned into a needy moan when he ran the tip of his dick over your slit. He lined himself up, gripping your thighs to lift you up and push into you.
“DAMN” he groaned loudly, leaning his head back in both pleasure and disbelief from how you were gripping him. “You feel so fucking good gripping me.” You felt the curve when he stroked deeper, each thrust pressing you against the glass while the fireworks mirrored whatever was going on in this hotel room. “You’re so noisy” he teased when he heard you moan his name. He reached between your thighs to play with your clit again. “You want everyone to hear me fucking you, don’t you? You like that shit.”
You nodded, too far gone to care about anything but the feeling. “Oh my god, yes! Please don’t stop. You’re fucking me so good.”
Trent’s mouth latched to your neck again, leaving a mark you were going to have to cover up later. His hands gripped your ass, pulling you closer as he thrust harder..deeper. Your moans were nonstop, echoing against the window while he pounded into you.
“You’re creaming all over me” he groaned, dropping his eyes to his dick thrusting in and out of you with the perfect rhythm. “Look at that. Such a good girl for me.”
His praise and coaxing made you shatter. Your walls clenched around him while your orgasm rained over your thighs and onto him. Moaning cries mixed with his curses and filled the room until he took one last deep stroke into you and pulled out of you. You lowered yourself to take him in your mouth, sucking gently on his tip as ropes of cum filled your mouth. You got back up, very shaky and wobbly, but he wasn’t done yet. Trent carried you to the bed, lifting you up on top of him. Both of you were too far gone to care about the contract by that point and spent the rest of the night partaking in some ultra festive activities to bring in the new year as fireworks continued to pop off in the distance.
The morning after, the sunlight was streaming through the large window you had just been fucked against the night before. It way too bright for how you were feeling now, even after the coconut water. Your head was pounding and you still felt groggy. Your lashes were barely clinging on and you forgot to do your skincare routine before falling asleep thanks to your activities. You groaned and reached for your phone, fumbling with it in your hands while Trent moved from somewhere else in the room to hand you a cup of coffee.
“Good morning” he smirked at you, knowing exactly why you were in the state you were in.
“Morning...and thank you” you muttered in a scratchy voice from a mix of sleep and..other activities. You took a look at yourself with your front camera and you snorted. Your hair was all over the place, your makeup was smudged and one of your lashes was hanging off. You took a glance back over at Trent, who had faint scratches on his back, making you laugh harder. The chaos was oddly on brand for the authentic, slightly unhinged content you were known for, so you decided to capture the moment to post online.
You opened the camera app and switched to the wide angle just to make it that more authentic. You held your coffee cup in your hand with your messy hair and hanging lash on full display. In the background, Trent was off to the edge of the frame where only part of him could be seen digging through his distinctive Goyard wash bag, oblivious to his surprise cameo. You typed out the caption ‘Happy New Year 🥴✨’ and added it to the photo in white text before posting it on your story. You didn’t have to check the notifications...you knew what you did.
By the time you showered and made yourself look put together, your post had been picked up by SpillTheBeansUK where they did a full deep dive. Their post was a carousel of screenshots. The first was your original story in its chaotic glory, the second was a cropped version zoomed in on Trent’s hand digging into his bag and the faint lining of the side of his head, the third was a side by side of all the previous photos to confirm it was him.
SpillTheBeansUK: Happy New Year from Y/N and Trent Alexander-Arnold! 👀
realmrsTAA: sobbing into my pillow rn I KNOW THAT BAG
ynfansince2019: not her lashes hanging like that. IKTR QUEEN
yn_onlyyn: she’s so me coded i love her
leafygreens05: TRENT BABE TELL ME THIS ISN’T U?!? ARE THOSE SCRATCHES?
ballerbabyy: this feels like i’m on facetime with a friend i love her sm and they’re so cute
notyourfootiebae: Y/N and Trent 🏆 romeocruz: 😒
You laughed as you scrolled through the comments. Trent walked in, ready to head out for breakfast. Although, he was entirely too calm for someone who had just been moaning your name while you were bouncing on him just a few hours ago.
When you sat across from him during breakfast at the hotel restaurant, the realization of everything hit you all at once. You didn’t want this to end. Not the public antics, banter, or things with Trent. He was looking at his phone, scrolling through his apps. Unbeknownst to you, he was deleting his dating apps. All of them.
Meanwhile you were spiralling. Quietly, but definitely still spiralling.
“What happens when this is over?” you asked quietly, cutting through your eggs benedict.
He looked up, pausing his thumb over the delete button of the last app. “What do you mean?”
You shrugged, stabbing at the food with a vanished appetite. “The contract. When June comes and we’re supposed to ‘break up’... What happens then?”
Trent deleted the final app and set his phone down to look at you. “I don’t know,” he admitted in a quiet voice.
You laughed, trying to mask your nerves. “Well that’s not reassuring.”
“Why?” He asked, tilting his head. “You worried about something?”
Your fork tapped against the hollandaise sauce on your food while you gathered what you wanted to say. “Um..well..this whole thing started off as a job for your image. But now....” you trailed off and looked at him.
“Now?” he prompted, locked on your eyes.
“Now it feels...different.” you admitted. “It doesn’t feel fake anymore. At least not for me.”
You thought he would smirk and have some comeback ready but he didn’t this time. Instead, he leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed loosely. “Doesn’t feel fake to me either.”
“Really?”
“Yeah” Trent leaned forward to rest his arms on the table. “It started off as a contract but I think that changed a little...we both know that.”
You stared at him. “So..what are you saying?”
“I’m saying we don’t have to stop,” he replied, never taking his eyes off you. “We don’t have to make a huge deal about it or anything but I don’t want to stop seeing you. It feels…” He trailed off to search for the right words.
“Like something worth exploring?” you offered, finishing his sentence.
He nodded, giving you his signature smirk, but this time it made you melt a little. “Yeah. Like that.”
--
The day the public stint of the contract was supposed to end came and went like any other day. You and Trent kept seeing each other instead of posting fake launch photos like the contract originally suggested after NYE. Tyler was smug about it the minute he found out, thinking he was the best Cupid ever. The last time you saw him, he handed you a Valentine’s Day PR brief with a grin.
“Guess we’re not cancelling the hard launch then?” he asked in a satisfied tone. You wanted to throw the folder at him, but he was right. You weren’t going anywhere and neither was Trent. Your fans adored the idea of you with him. There were multiple theories flooding your comment section daily, micro analyzing every interaction. Meanwhile, Trent’s fans reluctantly admitted he looked happy in a relationship for once.
The hard launch came in the form of a Youtube video thanks to the fans: Boyfriend Rates My Outfits
Your followers were begging for this video for weeks. You never announced having a boyfriend but they knew you better than that. You didn’t plan on giving in but Trent was all for it. Your chaos had rubbed off on him, even if he didn’t want to admit it.
“Do it” he said one night while laying in bed with you at your place after a date night. “It’ll be funny.”
“Funny for who?” you replied, rolling your eyes.
“For me.”
Eventually you agreed, and the video started with you sitting in front of your neatly organized wardrobe, clasping your hands together. “Okay..you’ve all been asking for it so we’re doing a ‘boyfriend rates my outfits’ video today. My man isn’t really a fashion connoisseur so don’t expect much.”
Trent’s voice came in from behind the camera, already flirty. “Nah, I have taste, don’t set me up like that.”
“Do you?” you countered, laughing as you disappeared to change into the first outfit.
You strutted back in the room wearing high waisted jeans, a blazer and a cropped top paired with trainers. It was chic and cute enough for a brunch or something similar. Trent zoomed the camera in dramatically on your feet. “Shoes are nice. I’ll give it...an 8.”
“An 8?!” you scoffed, doing a little spin for him. “You’re mad. This is a 10.”
“Ah..okay. 9.5 but only because you look good walking away.”
The next look was a silky midi dress with a thigh high slit, paired with strappy heels. You stepped in the room and did a twirl for the cam.
Trent let out a whistle. “11. Easily.”
“You can’t give it an 11!” you protested, hands on your hip.
“Why not?” he grinned. “I’d take you out in that.. maybe in Greece or Spain.”
For the third look, you went full streetwear and wore cargos, a fitted crop top, a leather jacket, and chunky boots. Trent panned the camera up and down with a lot of dramatics. “You look like you’re about to rob somebody.”
“Trent!”
“Hey, I’m into it though! Come rob me baby” he added quickly, smirking. “9 out of 10.”
The final outfit was a red mini dress with an open back that hugged you in all the right places, paired with heels and a statement purse. Trent was quiet as he looked at you, shaking the camera while he adjusted the focus. “Goddamn. That’s a 12.”
“A 12?” you laughed, walking up to the camera and playfully covering the lens while giving him a kiss. “You’re not supposed to go over 10, T.”
“I don’t care. You’re breaking the scale.”
Trent turned the camera to face the both of you as both of you smiled into the lens. “Alright. Like, comment, subscribe, and…” He trailed off, lowering the camera a little and looked at your lips. He whispered, thinking the mic wouldn’t catch anything but it did. “...and turn this off so I can take this dress off you.”
Your jaw dropped and you swatted at his chest playfully, giggling. “You’re going to get me demonetized if you keep talking like that.”
As you edited the video, you decided to leave that part in there because it was funny and also cute. The comments rolled in quickly when word spread around online about it:
ynbabydoll: THE WHISPER AT THE END??? HELLO? I’M FERAL
ynstanclub: trent stuns in Y/N’s youtube video!!
ynplustrent: the way the cam shook when she came out in that dress....i know they get real nasty
spicynsaucy: UNCOVER THE LENS I WANNA SEE IT
footieNfashion: why is this more compelling than any press interview he’s ever done?
LFCStan44: this feels like i shouldn’t be in the room watching them rn but i’m here for it idk. love to see him back to his happy old self
FreeKickFiend: ugh..the way he sounds when he called her baby. that should be me
YNWADefenseNeeded: bro’s focus on this video is what we need on the pitch ALL the time RedKisses98: this man has forgotten we exist. thanks a lot Y/N
You shut your laptop after the premiere of the video and sunk into the couch next to Trent. He was scrolling through the comments on his phone, with that same infuriating, yet extremely attractive smirk on his face.
“You’re really enjoying this huh?” you nudged him with your elbow in a teasing tone.
“Of course,” he replied without looking up. “I’m the star of your channel now.”
You shook your head, laughing. "Very bold of you to assume they’re watching for you.”
Finally, he looked from his phone, cupping your chin and pulling you into a kiss. “Nah...but I’m here for you though. Fully off script. No contract needed.”
#trent alexander arnold#trent alexander arnold x reader#trent alexander arnold smut#footballer x reader#footballer x y/n#trent alexander arnold one shot#footballer imagines#trent alexander arnold imagine#trent alexander arnold fanfiction#football fanfic#fem!reader
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Brushstrokes of Us | Hyunjin
Synopsis: You have been stressed to no end due to finals week, and Hyunjin has a colorful remedy.
Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader
Genre: fluff, friends to lovers, non-idol au
Warnings: Mentions of stress/anxiety, I wrote this before buzz-cut Hyunjin made an appearance so he does have long hair in the fic
Notice: Hello, my love! I absolutely LOVE this request! It is so cute, and writing the fiction warmed my heart!! I did my best to make your imagine come true, and I hope you enjoy it! <3 (If you saw this post twice, no you did not :) )
The whirring of the espresso machine hummed faintly in the background as you pressed your forehead against the cool countertop. The cafe where you worked part-time was quiet, save for the occasional customer stopping by for a late night snack. The weight of the week settled heavily on your shoulders; it was finals week at the university, so you had to balance a plethora of tests on top of work and an ever-growing list of responsibilities. The worries of the week were an ocean, and you were drowing under the waves.
Your phone buzzed against the counter, the vibration pulling you from your thoughts. You glanced at the screen.
hyunnie: 'I know you're tired, but i want you to come over.' you: 'Not tonight, Hyunnie. I wanna go to bed early.' hyunnie: 'I promise it's worth it.'
A quiet sigh escaped your lips at the instant response; there was no arguing with Hyunjin when wanted to see you, more so now since you had barely made time for him due to the weight of everything crushing your schedule. Yet, through the storm of it all, Hyunjin's persistence was never overbearing; it was always wrapped in concern and always grounded you in the toughest of spots.
That is what made it so impossible to refuse him.
---
Twenty minutes after your shift ended, you found yourself standing at the base of Hyunjin's apartment building, the chill of the December night nipping at your cheeks. The faint scent of snow lingered in the air, and your breath came out in soft puffs, floating away into the cold atmosphere. Before you could knock, the door swung open, revealing Hyunjin.
His black hair was messy, as if he had been running his fingers through it all night, and he was dressed in his usual cozy attire—a loose-knit sweater that hung off one shoulder and soft joggers. He grinned, leaning casually against the doorframe.
"You came," he said simply, his voice warm with satisfaction.
"You didn't really give me a choice," you replied, though the small smile tugging at your lips betrayed the sarcasm of your tone.
"Come on in. I have a surprise." He reached his hand out, his long fingers intertwining with yours as he led you inside.
The apartment smelled like him—clean, with a faint trace of the vanilla candles he had always insisted made the place feel "homier;" however, instead of stopping in the living room like usual, he guided you up the narrow staircase leading into the attic.
"Close your eyes," he mumbled, his breath fanning lightly against your ear.
"Hyun-"
"Trust me."
You sighed but obeyed, letting him guide you the rest of the way. The wooden steps creaked beneath your feet, and you felt the warmth of the attic before visualizing it.
When you opened your eyes, taking your surroundings in, the sight before you left you breathless.
The room had been transformed. Candles flickered softly on every available surface, their golden light reflecting off the rustic beams of the attic's ceiling, blankets and pillows were haphazardly arranged in a cozy pile, and fresh flowers—specifically lillies and roses—were scattered in mismatched vases. The faint scent of acrylic paint mingled with the floral aroma, and in the center of it all stood a massive blank canvas, flanked by jars containing vibrant paints and brushes—the source of the aforementioned aroma.
"I know you've been overwhelmed recently," Hyunjin told you, his demeanor quiet yet steady. "You're always taking care of everyone else, so I thought tonight...maybe I could take care of you."
His words wrapped around your heart like a warm embrace, the thoughtfulness of his gesture hitting you all at once.
"Hyunnie, this is..." You trailed off, searching for the right words to express your gratitude.
"It's just like us," he finished for you, smiling shyly. "It's bright, but it's a little messy, too."
Your chest tightened, a rush of emotions rendering you temporarily speechless. Instead of speaking, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms tightly around him. He stiffened for just a moment before melting into the embrace, his chin resting against the top of your head.
---
As the two of you painted together, your mind wandered to all of the little moments that had brought you here—each brushstroke evoking memories that made your heart ache in the best way.
Like the time Hyunjin had dragged you on a spontaneous shopping trip.
"I need an honest opinion," he had stated, holding up two wildly different jackets; one was a sleek, leather one, and the other one was white and puffy, almost resembling a marshmallow.
You had laughed, pointing to the leather one.
"Unless you're planning on exploring the Arctic, that's the better choice." He had pouted, throwing the marshmallow jacket over his shoulder.
"But it looks so warm."
"Warm isn't fashionable."
"Warm is necessary!"
You had spent hours wandering through stores, Hyunjin holding up ridiculous items and contemplating on whether or not to buy them just to make you laugh. At one point, he had placed a wide-brimmed sun hat on your head and insisted you had missed your calling as a movie star, snapping pretend photographs of you like he was paparazzi. By the end of the day, he was carrying all the bags, insisting it was his duty to do so because you were his, "voice of reason," for the day, making sure he did not spend too much and that he did not buy anything he did not need.
You also thought about the time you had gone on a road trip together and ended up having to share a bed at the hotel due to a booking error.
"This isn't weird, right?" he had asked, lying on his side as far away from you as possible so not to make you uncomfortable.
"Not at all," you lied, though the closeness made your heart race.
The bed was small, and at some point, you had woken up to find him curled up against you, his arm slung casually over your waist. His hair had fallen into his face, and he looked so peaceful, so utterly unguarded, that you had not been able to stop yourself from brushing it back.
---
The sound of Hyunjin's laughter brought you back to the present. He was sitting right beside you, staring at the canvas with his face streaked with paint—blue on his cheek and yellow on his chin.
"This is a masterpiece," he declared, gesturing to the chaotic mix of colors and handprints covering the canvas.
"If by masterpiece you mean disaster, then yes; it is definitely a masterpiece."
"It's art!" he argued, smirking.
You could not help but laugh, but the sound faded when you caught the way he was staring at you—soft and lingering, as if you were the only thing that mattered in the world.
"I've missed you," he told you, his tone much gentler than his previous playfulness. The sincerity made your throat tighten. "You've been distant."
"I didn't mean to be," you admitted. "Life has just been... a lot."
"I get it," he responded, his fingers moving a stray strand of hair out of your face. "But you never have to go through it alone. I'm always gonna be here for you."
Something in the way he spoke made your chest pang. For a moment, you just looked at him, taking in the softness of his features. The candlelight played in his eyes, and vulernability was etched into his expression.
"I've missed you too," you whispered.
A small smile quirked at his lips, and the silence stretched between you, warm and heavy with unspoken melodies. Finally, he broke the prolonged solitude.
"Can I tell you something?"
You nodded, your heart thumping in your chest.
"I don't want to be just your friend anymore," he confessed. "I want to be more." The confession hung in the air, fragile but unwaivering.
"I want to be the person you come to when things get hard, the person who makes you laugh when you forget how to, the person you come home to. I want to be yours."
Affectionate tears blurred your vision, and before he could say anything else, you leaned in, pressing your lips to his. The kiss was soft and shy, almost unsure due to the suddenness, but the feelings blooming between you and Hyunjin were undeniable.
When you pulled back, his cheeks were flushed, his eyes filled with wonder.
"So...does this mean...?"
"It means I feel the same way," you chuckled softly.
His grin was brighter than any of the candles in the room, and when he kissed you again, it felt like the emergence of a new life you had both been dying to enter into all along.
---
Taglist: @velvetmoonlght, @amararosesblog (If you would like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!)
#stray kids#stray kids imagines#stray kids x reader#stray kids fluff#bang chan#lee know#changbin#han#han jisung#felix#felix lee#seungmin#jeongin#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin imagines#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin fluff#peachiejeongin#i hate that this posted twice so now the person who requested won't get a notification that i answered </3
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Okay listen, listen. Eden's Garden CH1 was great and I loved it and I'll make a more detailed analysis post about it at some point. And Eva in particular is fantastic and my favorite character. There's just- There's just a little, little issue I have with her FTEs, and if I don't talk about it I'm gonna explode.
Spoilers for P:EG CH1 and Eva's FTEs.
CW: I am about to be a Massive Fucking Nerd on main.
This post was originally going to be about how Eva's papers, the way she describes them, sound like they kinda suck. But then I realized that the way she describes the Riemann zeta function… is just wrong???? Like, it doesn't converge to- EVA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING?!?!?!?!
Like, look, I don't think "Eva sucks at writing papers actually” is the conclusion I'm meant to reach after doing her FTEs. I'm also pretty sure the mistakes she makes when describing the Riemann zeta function (henceforth "zeta function” for brevity) are just mistakes on the writers’ part, which is fine because that thing is very confusing.
And to be clear, Eva being bad at writing papers doesn't mean she's actually bad at science. I mean, she apparently solved the goddamn Riemann Hypothesis, and doesn't even think it's that big a deal!
Eva, sad [3rd FTE]: They'll put it on my gravestone: here lies the girl who could barely solve Riemann's stupid hypothesis.
(Thank you Ani from youtube for uploading these things it makes citation so much easier <3)
Girliepop if I solved a problem that's stumped mathematicians for over a hundred years (which carries a million dollar prize btw), you bet your fucking ass I want that on my gravestone! And look, I know that this is not necessarily due to her doing more impressive stuff in mathematics. That it's more so because she's internalized what other people think about her skills, and since a lot of people erroneously believe math is uncool she doesn't think this is as big a deal as it is. But the fact that she managed to solve this thing at all, not to mention at eighteen years old, already puts her in contention for best mathematician of the damn century. And that's incredible, because math is badass.
In short, Eva's cool and a great mathematician. But the way she talks about her other work, the papers she wishes got more recognition, makes me really doubt her actual skill as a writer of these papers. Let me explain.
There are three papers Eva mentions writing, or thinking about writing, across her FTEs. One about literature, another about lightspeed travel, and one about the Riemann zeta function.
Eva [1st FTE]: Earlier this year, I wrote a whole paper on an obscure subgenre of Western speculative fiction… I spent weeks on it, expecting it to receive a lot of attention from literary critics…
Eva [1st FTE]: I could write a research paper on the theoretical possibility of lightspeed travel, but no one would care, because…
Eva [4th FTE]: …I wrote a paper about how you can use tabletop gaming to understand [the Riemann zeta function].
Now, I can't say anything about the literature paper, because she gives no details on it. I also don't know enough about literature to know how long it usually takes to write papers on it, so I'll take her word for it that working for weeks on it is notable.
For the hypothetical paper about the "theoretical possibility of lightspeed travel", I have my doubts, but she also doesn't give enough details about what that paper would entail for me to definitively say anything about it. We'll get back to this one, though.
Meanwhile, the paper she gives the most details on is the Riemann zeta function one, and… yeah that one's trash.
There’s two reasons I say that. One is the technical issue with the description she gives, which basically boils down to “there’s severe inaccuracies in her explanation and also she just straight up gets some things wrong,” and is extremely nerdy and math heavy to explain; and the other is a much more fundamental problem with the very thesis of the paper, which doesn’t require math to explain, but I’ll leave for later.
I’ll start with the technical side and the things she gets wrong about the zeta function. I’ll try to make this accessible for non-math nerds, but fair warning, this is pretty difficult math so I can only do so much. That includes keeping to the tabletop analogy Eva used in the spirit of the thing.
By the way, take everything I'm about to say with a grain of salt. I'm a third year Physics major, so while I know way more math than the average person, I am by no means an expert. I am liable to get things wrong. In fact, I actually didn't know anything about the zeta function or the Riemann hypothesis before seeing these FTEs, I just researched them because I got curious about the Riemann hypothesis after seeing it show up in not one, but two fangans I've seen (it has a cameo in DR Despair Time if you're curious). However, even though I'm not an expert, I think I know enough to definitively say Eva's very wrong about a few things.
Lots of math incoming, TL;DR after the next red title
As a refresher, this is a paraphrased version of what she explains.
Eva (Paraphrased) [4th FTE]: Take 1, ½, ⅓, ¼, and so on for infinity, and pretend they are characters in a tabletop game (TTG). An enemy casts a status effect on your denominators so that they are all raised to the power of p, where the value of p is decided by dice roll. Now your characters are 1, 1/2ˆp, 1/3ˆp, etc. For your turn, you add all of your characters together, and that’s the zeta function ζ(p) = 1 + 1/2ˆp + 1/3ˆp + ... What is the value of ζ(p)?
This is good, that sum is indeed the first way to define the zeta function (more on that later), so it's correct. However, she then makes two statements.
Statement 1: If p is higher than 1, then you get a whole number; a number without decimals. ( ζ(p) = a whole number). Statement 2: If p is lower than 1, then you get 0, “an infinite amount of zeroes.” ( ζ(p) = 0).
(You’ll notice I put that last thing in quotes. I’ll get back to it)
Now, I’m going to ignore a few minor inaccuracies which Eva likely makes to simplify the concepts, because they’re not too important. For example; you can’t “add” infinite numbers, that’s not a thing. An infinite series can converge, which is slightly different from arithmetic addition. However, the two things are close enough that, for most people, the distinction doesn’t really matter. In other words, I’m fine with her saying she’s adding infinite numbers together, and similar claims.
There's one inaccuracy I can’t gloss over, though; Eva never tells Damon which dice is rolled to determine the value of p. In math terms, she never tells him the domain of the function (the domain of a function, btw, is the set of values for which the function is defined). Are the values p can take real or complex? Can it be any real/complex, or are there restrictions?
For the unaware, since this is gonna come up, I’ll define a complex number using the TTG analogy. A complex number is a special character born by adding together a real number "r" (one of the numbers you’re all familiar with), and another real number "b" equipped with (math: multiplied by) the Epic Tier item known as the imaginary unit “i”. This Epic item has the property that iˆ2 = -1. So basically a complex number "z" is one where
z = r + bi
where r,b are real and i is the imaginary unit. "r" is known as the real component, and "b" is the imaginary component.
(Note: All real numbers are complex numbers where b=0, but not all complex numbers are real)
In case you’re curious, these things are used in several fields, such as the study of electrical circuits with alternating current, and they appear in relation to the Schrödinger equation- I’m getting off track.
So, what dice does Eva want the opponent to roll to define p? Well, she never says it, but we can infer. She says that p can be “higher than 1,” and that clues us in that she’s probably rolling the dice of real numbers. After all, there’s no universally agreed upon definition of what it means for a complex number to be “higher than” another complex number. Meanwhile, she doesn’t mention any restrictions on what value p can take, so it’s safe to say she’s implying that p can be any real number higher than or lower than 1, aka any real number except maybe 1. Now, the zeta function doesn’t actually have that domain, but we’ll get to that.
For now, let’s analyze her statements assuming p is any real number other than 1. Let’s take a look at the first one.
Statement 1: If p is higher than 1, then ζ(p) is a whole number; a number without decimals.
This is wrong. Just so we’re clear, I could probably prove, with my somewhat limited math knowledge, that this statement can only work if the domain is more restrictive than “all real numbers other than 1” as described previously. It'd have to be defined only in whole numbers, for example.
However, I don’t need to. One of the first lines in the Wikipedia page of the zeta function says that ζ(3) (which is the value you get after “adding all your characters” when p = 3) is an irrational number. That is, among other properties, a number with infinite decimals. Eva could not be more wrong if she tried.
(Btw, yes I'm using Wikipedia as my only source. Not particularly rigorous research on my part, but this is a silly Tumblr post about funny killing game, there's a limit to my insanity)
I don’t even know how this happened, btw. It’s pretty clear this is a goof on the devs’ side (perfectly understandable btw, it took me several reads of the Wikipedia pages for both the zeta function and the Riemann hypothesis to even get them enough to write this post, and as stated I study a lot of math for my career), but I genuinely don’t know where they got the idea from. There’s nothing I could find about whole numbers in relation to the zeta function. There’s connections to prime numbers, which are all whole, but the series doesn't converge to them, the connection is a bit weirder than that. There's also some stuff Euler found about it converging to rational numbers for negative integers, but again, not whole numbers, and not even for real values above 1. So, yeah, no clue.
Anyways, what about the other statement?
Statement 2: If p is lower than 1, then you get 0, “an infinite amount of zeroes.”
This is also obviously wrong. In fact, reader! Can you think of a counterexample which is immediately obvious if you think about it for two seconds? A real number p lower than 1 such that ζ(p) isn't 0?
If you said “zero, because zero always breaks everything in very obvious ways,” you have good intuition! You could have also picked any other real number lower than 1, but those are less obvious.
For 0, the reason it’s so apparent is that any number raised to the power of zero is just 1, so 1 + 1/2ˆ0 + 1/3ˆ0 + … just turns into 1 + 1 + 1 + … and so on for infinity. Very obviously, the series diverges, it “goes to infinity.” This is very different from converging to 0.
And just so we’re clear, the series also diverges for any real value of p lower than 1, though I’ll leave proving that one as an exercise to the reader, with the help that I’ll tell you the infinite series 1 + ½ + ⅓ + ¼ + … also goes to infinity. Again, Eva could not be more wrong if she tried.
So, what went wrong here? Turns out, the way Eva defined the zeta function as an infinite series (a "sum of infinite numbers”) only works when p is a complex number with a real component higher than 1. That’s why it was important for her to say what dice we were rolling to determine p, what the domain of the function defined by the series is. For other numbers, you need to define zeta in different ways.
And what happened to the whole “infinite zeroes” thing? Well, you see, I have a theory. I think the devs must have read that the zeta function had “an infinite amount of zeroes for values of p with a real component lower than 1” (which is true, but doesn’t mean what they think it means), and misinterpreted from there. Fair mistake. I kinda wanna correct it using the TTG analogy, but I’ll leave that for the end of the post because it’s gonna derail the entire thing.
(I got carried away and explained everything I understood about the Riemann zeta function oops)
What you need to know for now; you can do some math tricks to define the zeta function outside of the infinite series Eva described, though a lot of those tricks are way above my pay grade. That way, you can evaluate the function for any complex value of p other than 1. In other words, you can roll different die for p, but it requires redefining what you're doing with that p.
Turns out, in doing that, some funky shit happens, and any time p equals -2n for any n which is a natural number (that is, p = -2 or -4 or -6 or -8, etc.), the zeta function will go to zero. Those values of p are known as the “trivial zeroes” of the function, and are obviously infinite in number. However, note that these trivial zeroes are exclusively negative even integers; there are plenty of real values of p lower than 1 for which the zeta function is not zero, so Eva still isn’t correct at all.
Though, to be clear, there are also zeroes of the function other than the trivial ones. This is actually where the Riemann hypothesis comes in. The hypothesis is that any non-trivial zero of the zeta function has a real component of exactly ½, with the only difference between them being the imaginary component (if you didn't follow, again, more detailed explanation at the bottom of the post). This (in our world) has not been definitively proven to work for every non-trivial zero, though it does work for the first several trillion.
Absurdly nerdy math rant over
So TL;DR, Eva made some pretty big mistakes when talking about the convergence of the zeta function, mainly stemming from not properly defining its domain, but also just straight up getting the convergence wrong. It doesn’t converge exclusively to whole numbers for real numbers above 1, and has to be defined in a different way for real values below 1, not to mention that she never brings up the full function is actually defined for complex numbers other than 1.
Obviously, this all likely stems from the creators not actually understanding the zeta function themselves, which is pretty funny.
But you wanna know what the bigger issue is? That even if Eva had properly explained the zeta function, her paper would still suck ass. Because there’s a much bigger, more fundamental issue with the very thesis it upholds.
I want you to take a step back. Really look past the complex math and weird terms and the contrast between the very serious sounding Riemann zeta function and the somewhat silly concept of a TTG…
And realize that the thesis of the paper Eva describes is “analogies exist.”
She can frame it however she likes, but ultimately, that’s what the point of the paper was. Eva, where the hell did you even get this published? In fact, I think it’s silly for you to say that it’d have been better received if your talent was different, because without it, I don’t see a world where this shit could even be submitted to any journal with even a modicum of self respect!
And look, she’s not wrong. I get her point, that mathematicians often don’t put in enough effort to communicate their work to the layman, and would benefit from explaining things in more creative ways. That’s cool. But that’s the kind of thing you would write for, like, an article or something.
But a paper is specifically meant for research. Calling this thing a paper almost feels insulting to mathematicians. Like the concept of using analogies to explain math is an unprecedented discovery that required actual research to figure out. Unless this paper was also the one where Eva solved the Riemann hypothesis (which God I hope that was a different paper), there's no new information being presented here. It's at best a personal opinion piece, which is not what scientific papers are for.
Am I silly for getting hung up on the wording of this being described as a paper instead of an article or opinion piece or whatever? Well, this entire post is silly, but I don't think it's because of that, because words mean things. And a scientific paper carries certain connotations that do not align with what Eva describes.
And this little issue casts doubt in her general skill as a paper writer. That's why I'm a bit skeptical about the paper she mentions about the "theoretical possibility of lightspeed travel.” Because, quite frankly, that paper topic sounds… meaningless? Like a bunch of technobabble?
Like, what exactly are you discussing about lightspeed travel? In fact, what are you actually referring to when you say "lightspeed travel"? Matter approaching lightspeed, or reaching or even exceeding lightspeed? The latter two are impossible according to current scientific consensus, btw. Or is she discussing a particular trick to get something from point A to point B in less time than it would take for light to cover that distance? There are papers discussing stuff like that, even if all the mechanisms are also thought to be impossible by consensus. And regardless of what she means by "lightspeed travel", what does she mean "theoretical possibility” of it? Like, genuinely, I have no clue. Is she speculating on whether or not it's possible? Is she speculating on the properties such travel would have? Is she proposing a theoretical method to do it? Is she doing something else entirely? The premise of the paper is too vague, is my point.
This worries me because… well, to put it bluntly, experts in related fields (such as mathematics) attempting to make cool sounding physics theories (such as a paper on the "theoretical possibility of lightspeed travel", whatever that means) which are completely wrong and nonsensical is a real, observable phenomenon in our world. Check out Angela Collier's "physics crackpots: a 'theory’” to find out more. And also check out the rest of her youtube channel it's great.
What Eva is doing with that paper honestly sounds remarkably close to what Angela describes there. In fact, let's check out whether or not Eva's hypothetical paper fits any of the four points Angela brings up to spot a crackpot theory.
1. “Addresses THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS in physics.”
By this, Angela means that the theory addresses a problem or topic that anyone with a passing interest in physics knows is a big deal. Things like dark matter, gravity, black holes, and yes, "lightspeed travel.” You're not going to see anyone with a crackpot theory on the equation of state of real gases or Eddy currents, because by the point you know what those things are in enough depth to be interested in them, you probably also know enough to determine what a good physics theory is and what isn't. Eva's paper fits this point, but that doesn't necessarily mean Eva is a crackpot physicist, right?
2 and 4. “Lacking mathematical rigor, experimental data, etc.” and “They are not physics theories”
I grouped these two because it's impossible for me to know whether Eva's paper would actually fit these points or not. She doesn't give enough details for me to say. I can tell you for sure it's not gonna have experimental data, but since it's theoretical physics, that's fine. So, we can maybe give her the benefit of the doubt? As long as she doesn't fit the last point too well maybe-
3. “Respond with anger, claim physics establishment has blacklisted them, cite Galileo/Einstein/etc."
Oh no.
Eva [1st FTE]: I could write a research paper on the theoretical possibility of lightspeed travel, but no one would care…
Oh no chat. She might actually be a crackpot physicist.
It doesn't help that her mentality in general is actually very in line with the mentality described in the Angela video mentioned above. That because she's a smart person (which she is; again, solved the damn Riemann hypothesis), she should be able to easily become recognized and respectable in any field she takes interest in. But that isn't how the world works. There's a reason people spend years of their life studying literature, physics, or mathematics, just to truly get a grasp of each discipline individually.
Ok, but, like, what's my point? Am I going to include her misunderstanding of the zeta function and the possibility of her being a "crackpot physicist” in any character analysis? No, of course not. You're very clearly meant to think Eva is genuinely skilled in every field she approaches, because this is a fangan and Ultimates can bend the limits of humanity to fit a narrative. I'm perfectly willing to accept that Eva solved the Riemann hypothesis, as you've seen throughout this post, even though I'd be highly skeptical of anyone making that same claim in the real world, "Ultimate” or not. The same way I'd accept that a fictional character of any kind could manage to accelerate a particle to exactly lightspeed, even though I'd immediately call bullshit if someone claimed to do it in real life. The standard for believability is different for fictional characters than real people, basically.
Really, when you boil it down, I only take issue with the things Eva says because I'm genuinely passionate about the topics she mentions, and because she gives enough details about her work for me to see the cracks in the writers’ knowledge of them. I'm assuming this is a common issue with any fangan that tries to really explain what being an "Ultimate” in a particular field entails, because no one is actually well versed enough in sixteen different talents to actually say that for sure. That's why Eva off-handedly mentioning that she solved the Riemann hypothesis is much more effective as a way to establish her skill than trying and failing to get her to actually explain the zeta function.
All in all, this is just a purely self-indulgent post for me to vent about issues I have with the way the writers tried to convey Eva's expertise. Feel free to completely ignore this for character analysis, because I sure will. I just needed to talk about it because I would explode if I didn't. Anyways, hope you enjoyed! If you made it this far, you deserve a function named specifically after you! See y-!
Oh right I almost forgot.
My Own Explanation of the Riemann Zeta Function Using the TTG Analogy
(Explained by someone with little more than Wikipedia access, take all this with a grain of salt)
Think of finding the zeroes of a function as a boss fight. You go up to them, and you cast a spell, generally in the form of a number, such that the function becomes zero when you cast it. For example, the Easy Function
f(x) = 2x - 6
can be defeated by casting “3”, since 2x3 - 6 = 0.
Every function also has a “domain”, which is a set of spells you can actually cast against it. For example, since 1/0 is undefined, the Medium Function g(x) = 1/x has a domain of all complex numbers except 0. Casting 0 against g has no effect. You need a special spell, “limit when x tends to infinity” (or negative infinity) to defeat it.
The zeta function is a Legendary Boss, defined by the infinite series ζ(s) = 1 + 1/2^s +1/3^s + …
(I changed p to s for a reason trust the process)
Many mathematicians had tried to defeat it before, but it seemed futile*. Its domain was thought to be all real numbers higher than 1 (they originally didn't think to use complex numbers against it), but no matter what number was picked, that first term was too powerful. Even casting “limit when s tends to infinity” only got zeta down to 1. Nothing in its domain seemed to work.
Until Riemann arrived.
The zeta function chuckled, thinking this one to be like all the many others before him. But the legendary mage Riemann had many a trick the zeta function hadn't seen before. Tricks to make make the domain of the function larger, so that new Number Spells could be cast against it. Where everyone else had only ever attempted to cast real numbers against this boss, he wouldn't be satisfied with that. Without warning, he cast the first of many powerful spells needed to do what needed to be done.
"Domain Expansion; Proof of Complexity"
Since you already knew this part, I'll skip the proof, but basically, Reimann quickly showed that the infinite series which defined the zeta function for real numbers higher than one actually worked for any complex number with a real component higher than one.
The zeta function was impressed, but unconcerned. It knew damn well there was still no spell in this new domain which could possibly defeat it. "Nice try, but I'm not scared of some imaginary unit” it claimed.
“I'm aware,” claimed Reimann. He raised his hands again, his mana swelling, and the zeta function frowned. “But you're mistaken if you think this is the end.”
Reimann looked at the Legendary Boss in front of him, and cast the following, powerful incantation, with the help of the runes described below.
"Domain Expansion; Analytic Continuation"
To truly defeat the zeta function, one must understand the concept of an analytic continuation. This is where I falter, for I myself don’t understand what the fuck that is. However, what I've been able to gather is that the function
𝜂(s) / (1 - 2/2ˆs) where 𝜂(s) = 1/1ˆs - 1/2ˆs + 1/3ˆs - …
is equal to the zeta function in the zeta function's domain, but is also defined outside of it. In particular, it's defined for any complex number with a positive real component, except for the points where
1 - 2/2ˆs = 0
(can't be dividing by zero after all!). That last thing excludes 1, for example.
Basically, think of the spell "Domain Expansion; Analytical Continuation” as a shapeshifting spell that transforms the zeta function from the previous definition:
ζ(s) = 1 + 1/2ˆs + 1/3ˆs + … for s complex numbers with a real component higher than 1.
to now being defined as:
ζ(s) = 𝜂(s) / (1 - 2/2ˆs) for the previously described new domain.
That way, its domain is expanded to include complex numbers with a real component between 0 and 1, aside from those where 2/2ˆs = 1.
But of course, Reimann wouldn't be satisfied with that. The next spell was simpler, but worthwhile nonetheless.
"Domain Expansion; Limiting Singularity Removal"
See, turns out, all the points "z” where the analytic continuation was undefined, other than 1, where removable singularities (I think? I don't actually know much about complex functions :v), which means the spell "limit when s tends to z” returns a finite number l. That way, you can define ζ(z) = l for all of these removable singularities, expanding the domain of the zeta function to all complex numbers with a positive real component, other than 1.
Don't worry if you don’t know what a limit is or you didn't follow this part, it's not too important for this. After all, that last spell didn't worry the zeta function. What had truly taken it aback was the analytic continuation, which suddenly exposed a few weak spots of the zeta function to the world. Now, Reimann could defeat it once and for all, as long as he found the right spell in the new domain.
However, the zeta function was a Legendary Boss for a reason. "Fancy tricks, but it won't be easy to find something to actually defeat me, you know,” it bluffed, hoping intimidation would work. Foolish hope.
"Oh, certainly,” Reimann agreed readily, smiling. The zeta function was confused for a moment, until it realized something horrifying.
Reimann's mana was swelling again. He wasn't done. And for the first time since it's run-in with Euler all those years back, the zeta function felt true fear.
“It won't just be easy,” Reimann smirked. “It will be trivial.”
"Domain Expansion; Functional Equation"
This is another point where the math is beyond me, but I'll try to explain. Basically, Reimann proved that that equality up there holds true as long as s is a complex number with a real component strictly higher than 0 and strictly lower than 1.
However, you'll notice that if you take s as a complex number with a real component equal to or lower than 0 (other than 0 itself), then the right side of the equation is actually well defined, because 1 - s is a complex number with a positive real component (and not equal to 1 unless s is exactly 0), meaning ζ(1 - s) is well defined. You also don't run into issues with any of the other factors of that equation, including the Gamma function (𝚪). What that means is that this equation can be used to extend the zeta function's domain to all complex numbers other than 0 and 1.
Think of this domain expansion as a shapeshifting curse. If you cast a complex number with a real component strictly higher than 0 (other than 1), then the zeta function defends by turning into either the analytic continuation from before:
ζ(s) = 𝜂(s) / (1 - 2/2ˆs)
or the limit for any values where 1 - 2/2ˆs.
Meanwhile, if you cast a number s with a real component equal to or lower than 0 (other than 0 itself), then the zeta function shapeshifts to be:
ζ(s) = 2ˆs 𝜋ˆ(s-1) sin(s𝜋/2) 𝚪(1-s) ζ(1-s)
The final step is yet another Domain Expansion; Limiting Singularity Removal on 0, where ζ(0) = -½. Again not really important for us.
In any case, Riemann had done it. Five consecutive domain expansions, so that the zeta function's domain now included all complex numbers except 1. The zeta function was on its last legs, all that was needed was the final touch. For the inexperienced, you might think finding a zero would still be difficult, but the truly expert mages among you might have already noticed the weak spot in the functional equation.
The sine function. A Common Enemy which goes to 0 whenever it's attacked by a whole number equipped with the Legendary Tier item 𝜋. And when a complex number with a negative real component is cast against the zeta function, sin(s𝜋/2) becomes one of the factors.
"You know what this means, don't you, zeta?” Riemann asked. And the zeta function couldn't muster a response before the legendary mage cast his final spell. "You lose.”
"Simple Spell; Negative Even Integer"
-2, -4, -8, etc. Any even integer s causes s/2 to be a whole number, so sin(s𝜋/2) goes to zero. And since it's multiplying everything else, the entire zeta function goes to zero. These negative even integers are known as the zeta function's "trivial zeroes", and because there are infinite negative even integers, it can be said that the zeta function has an infinite amount of zeroes.
However, just because the Riemann zeta function had been defeated, doesn't mean Reimann was satisfied. See, Riemann noticed that there were other values which could defeat the zeta function, and weren't negative even integers. These are the zeta function's non-trivial zeroes. And he noticed that all of these zeroes followed a pattern, so he tried to cast a Prophecy Spell.
A Prophecy Spell (or a theorem, in real math terms) is one that makes it so that, when certain conditions are met, something happens without fail. To cast a Prophecy Spell, you must prove it, which means using other prophecy spells, runes and unbreakable laws (axioms) to certify that it's a valid prophecy.
I'll give you an example in case you're not used to the concept of mathematical proof, and cast the Prophecy Spell “if b is a real number, then b0 = 0". To prove it, I'll use two axioms (these are the building blocks of mathematics, and don't need to be proven because they just Are).
1) 0 + c = c (0 is neutral to addition).
2) b(c + d) = bc + bd (Distributive Property)
Now, observe the following:
1) b(c + 0) = b(c + 0) [Trivially true.]
2) bc = bc + b0 [0's neutrality used on the left, distributive on the right]
3) 0 = b0 [Because bc = bc, you can nullify the terms]
I chose this because it happens to be the reason you can't divide by 0. Division is formally defined as multiplication with the reciprocal, so to divide by 0 you must first define its reciprocal 1/0. 1/0 would be defined as a number such that 0 x 1/0 = 1. But we just proved there's no real (or complex) number for which that can be true, so 1/0 isn't a number, thus is undefined.
In any case, now you know what's needed to cast a Prophecy Spell. However, Riemann couldn't finish the Prophecy spell about the non-trivial zeroes. He couldn't find proof or a counterexample to refute it. And so, his unfinished Prophecy Spell went down in history… as the Riemann Hypothesis.
“All non-trivial zeroes of the Riemann zeta function have a real component of exactly ½.”
Although it's been proven to hold true for trillions of non-trivial zeroes, it has never been properly proven or refuted, so the Riemann Hypothesis remains… unsolved.
God that was nerdy and cringy as hell. It was also super fun to write so I don't care :D
*Look, for the purpose of the post, I'm saying Riemann did all this shit and is the first one to find a value for which the zeta function becomes zero. This is likely not historically accurate. I'm just doing it so the explanation flows better. This should only be taken as an explanation of the function itself, and not the history behind it.
#p:eg#project: eden's garden#eva tsunaka#this post got way outta hand btw#it was supposed to be a silly little thing. like 1k words max#but then i blacked out and there were 5.7k words how did this happen#so very sorry to my mathphobic followers but i saw math in a fangan and got over excited#and then eva stabbed me in the back by getting Everything Wrong#i love her but oh my god this bothered me more than it should have#cw math#(?)
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Sorry in advance if someone asked you that.
I'm just curious why you like Jimmy so much, what drives you to him ? This question always crosses my mind when seeing people who also like Jimmy like I do. Also what do you think about how the Fandom treats Jimmy ?
Answered a similar ask before but I don't mind hehe, I like talking about it.
If you are not familiar with the term, look up Hybristophilia. For me, it's to 1000% a sexual thing, so there really is not much to "defend" about it in my eyes. I just like to get off thinking about horrible men (tbqh I usually simp for more "depraved" ones...Jimmy is kind of tame in comparison. And he's sincerely very good and hot looking).
Oh, and then there's the male on male action aspect,... JimCurly is so *perfect*. I really like the ones who are canonically obsessed with another man, or men in general.
I found it more satisfying to project this desire onto fictional characters and try to turn it into something "productive", as otherwise it is kind of a dead end lol... it is a fantastic source of inspiration. At least, it makes me want to improve and draw more.
"How the fandom treats Jimmy", it's a bit exaggerated in my eyes, I like people recounting his horrible deeds though LOL. I'm like yes, please tell me everything in vast detail... I wish we would know more about what else he did.
Eh, I want to ask you the same question, anon. What is it YOU like about, liking him?
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Azel Radwan Main Story
► Chapter 1
This translation is fanmade and strictly for entertainment purposes only. All media and original content belong to Cybird. Do not use, claim as your own, repost or reupload onto other platforms, reblogs are welcome.
I still don’t know what love is.
But I want to someday fall in love and understand what it is.
A passionate love like a rose set ablaze, and a fierce love that stays on for eternity like a woven tale.
???: I see, I see…
???: How utterly laughable.
(... Who is that?)
The usual dream I had every night changed the night before I set out on my trip to a foreign country.
It was set in a rose garden where the roses were still tightly closed buds. The space felt undeveloped and incomplete.
There stood an unfamiliar visitor, reading an unfinished tale from a book placed on an oak table.
His appearance was otherworldly, unlike that of any ordinary person.
His hair shimmered under the light of the massive moon hanging from the sky, and his eyes seemed to contain a starry sky within.
That divine, beautiful being who seemed to blend well with the dream’s space gave me a mocking grin as I approached.
Emma: What’s… laughable?
???: I have some unfortunate news for you, who yearns for love and thirsts for knowledge of what it is.
???: Love is not the grand blessing it is often proclaimed to be.
???: Sometimes, it would serve you well to remain ignorant and pure for your entire life. You would find far greater happiness that way.
I didn't know what he read from that unfinished tale.
But this “something”, who clearly wasn't human, directly and utterly rejected what laid at the very core of my heart.
Emma: And how can you be so sure of that?
???: Because I am a god.
(... God?)
???: I have witnessed many examples of “love”. Not in fiction… but rather the raw, unvarnished love that exists in.
???: Far too often, people use “love” as a means to justify their otherwise unjustifiable actions.
???: It is truly tragic to see people driven mad by love.
???: Even the most rational people become unable to live without it.
???: Like a curse.
Emma: …
???: Judging from this dreamscape shrouded in thorns, you must be a lady from Rhodolite.
???: Rhodolite had such a tale too, did it not? About a king who turned into a beast after losing his beloved.
Emma: … While the story of the late Belle and the king may have been a tragedy, that doesn't mean all love must end the same way.
???: Fair enough. However, not all love will end as a comedy either.
???: Why do you yearn for love?
Words caught in my throat upon hearing the god’s question.
There was no special reason for my yearning.
It was nothing more than mere admiration, I had never deeply thought about what love truly meant.
For the first time, I realised that my yearning was but an empty shell.
???: At the very least, love is something I would very much rather do without.
???: — For I am a god incapable of loving people.
…
(……ん……)
(... Mm…)
Awaken by gentle sunlight streaming through the window, I opened my eyes to see the familiar ceiling of my room in town.
The unbloomed roses and the god who denied love both vanished as though they were nothing more than an illusion.
As I woke up, memories of the dream began crumbling away and were gradually replaced by reality.
But a fragment of that dream lingered in my heart, refusing to disappear.
(“Love is a curse”... huh.)
???: Emma, you up?
A knock on my door banished the remaining drowsiness from my mind.
(This voice… Rio?)
Emma: Sorry, just a minute!
???: Ah, no worries. I’m a gentleman, I’ll wait for as long as you need.
(... I think I just heard a voice that wasn't Rio’s…)
Feeling slightly uneasy, I hurriedly got dressed, washed my face, and tidied myself up before opening the door.
…
Standing at my front door was my friend, who left his position as a butler to return to town with me, greeting me with his ever so radiant smile.
Rio: Good morning! You’re absolutely adorable today, as always!
Emma: Yeah, yeah, thanks as usual.
Emma: … What brings you here this early in the morning?
Rio: I came to visit because I just had to see your face.
Rio: And I bought bread. Want to enjoy it together?
Emma: Thanks, I’d love to. Mmm, smells good…
Rio: It’s from your favourite bakery. They launched a new “fortune bread” today.
Emma: Fortune bread? That’s interesting!
Clavis: Wait, wait, Emma. We have some more important matters to focus on than bread right now, don't we?
A man forced himself between us and snatched the bag of bread.
(So I wasn't imagining things when I thought I heard another voice.)
I stopped avoiding reality as a means of self-defence and turned to face the country’s most notorious troublemaker— a certain prince with a shady smile.
Emma: It’s been a while, Clavis.
Clavis: You could've jumped straight into my arms right off the bat, you know?
Emma: Thank you for kind consideration. Why are you here?
Clavis: Hmm, what do you think?
???: Enough with the theatrics and just tell her already.
(Huh…?)
My eyes widened when I saw a tall figure sitting on a wooden crate some distance away.
Emma: Luke’s here too!?
Luke: Oops. My bad, I invited myself into the conversation too early.
Rio: I coincidentally ran into Clavis and Luke earlier on.
Rio: Though, they didn't tell me what they’re here for…
(I was just thinking it was rare for Rio to come visit me so early in the morning… maybe he’s worried about me.)
Luke stood up from the wooden crate and raised the paper bag he had in his hand.
Luke: Mind if we join you for breakfast?
…
My modest home where I, a commoner, lived was now filled with two princes and my former butler friend…
Our surroundings were both physically and emotionally stuffy.
Clavis: Emma, you’re heading to Tanzanite soon, right?
Rio: Ugh…
The freshly baked bread, along with the sweets Luke brought, bounced slightly when Rio hit his head against a corner of the table.
Clavis: What's the matter?
Rio: … I lose control of myself whenever I hear about that.
Rio: The thought of not being able to see my angel, my goddess, my beautiful fairy Emma…
Luke: You’re such a drama queen.
(When I first told Rio about my trip, he was completely broken. I guess this counts as an improvement.)
[ Flashback ]
Rio: — Emma’s going to Tanzanite…
Emma: Rio, are you okay!? You hit your head on the bookshelf really hard…
Rio: I’m okay… but… why…
Emma: I’ve heard many stories about foreign countries from the Owner, but I’m most interested in the god who can perform infallible divinations.
Emma: If such a god really exists, I’d like to meet them even just once.
Emma: Besides, Tanzanite’s a popular tourist destination.
Emma: It’s a country in the dessert, but I think it's a good choice of destination for my first trip.
[ Flashback End ]
(I feel bad for nearly causing Rio to pass out, but…)
(I’ve been really excited every day ever since deciding to travel to Tanzanite.)
Luke: I’m surprised you’re not going with her.
Rio: The Owner told me to look after the bookstore while she’s away.
Rio: I really do want to go with her!! What if something happens to her when I’m not there…!?
Rio: But if staying behind will help Emma feel more at ease on her trip, then I… I’ll…
Clavis: Haha, you can be rest assured about that.
Clavis tore off a piece of the bread in his hand and ate it, savouring it in delight before swallowing.
Clavis: Because we’ll be her bodyguards in your place.
Rio: Oh, is that true? Thank goodness, I feel relieved—
Rio: — Wait, that won’t do—! What is that supposed to mean!?
(Seriously, what does he mean by that!?)
I almost dropped my fortune bread but managed to catch it in a panic.
Clavis: I mean exactly what I said.
Luke: We’re going to Tanzanite too.
Luke stuffed a whole honey-coated pastry in his mouth and licked his fingers.
Luke: I didn't wanna go at first because it’s too bothersome, but Chevalier ordered me to take care of some diplomatic matters.
(Going to Tanzanite during this period of time means…)
[ Flashback ]
Akatsuki: Politics have been unstable lately.
Emma: Is it because of… the Three-Nation Alliance?
Akatsuki: Yeah. None of the countries have made any moves at the moment, but this feels like the calm before a storm.
[ Flashback End ]
(... I’m an outsider now, so it’s best for me to refrain from getting involved.)
Clavis: Since we’re all leaving for Tanzanite at around the same time, why don't you come with us?
Clavis: We plan to take the route that passes through Benitoite. If you ride on the royal ship, your transportation is basically free.
Clavis: I can already picture you crying tears of joy. Ah, you don't even have to say it, I already know.
Clavis: You’re so lucky to have the privilege of travelling to a foreign country with your beloved Clavis—
Rio: OBJECTION!
Rio shot up from his seat with a start in the cramped room and pointed a finger at Clavis.
Rio: People always say that there's nothing scarier than something that comes free. What's your real motive? Out with it.
(As expected of Rio. That’s what I want to know too.)
Clavis took a deliberate sip of the tea I brewed and paused as though to savour it…
His wet lips then curled into a meaningful and bold smile.
Clavis: What do you think?
Luke: Don't say such things that mess with people. There's no deeper meaning at all.
Clavis: Read the room, Luke.
Luke: You read the room.
Luke: This guy ordered every official to report anything interesting about Emma to him.
Emma: So you were made aware of my trip to Tanzanite because…
Luke: The official who issued your travel permit ratted you out.
Emma: Is that not abuse of power!?
Clavis: What are you talking about? It’s for work.
Luke: This guy found out about your first ever trip and got all “amused” by it.
Luke: He even volunteered to personally make a trip to Tanzanite, and I got stuck with the job of babysitting him thanks to Nokto.
Luke: He said “I feel bad for Emma, so I’ll send at least one sensible person to go along”.
(Thanks, Nokto!)
Luke: But if you’d rather not deal with his crap, I’ll take personal responsibility to bury Clavis in the woods for you.
Clavis: No need to worry about that. Emma is shaking with excitement, isn't she?
Luke: … You should get your eyes checked out before we leave the country.
Rio … I’m worried. I’m very worried.
(Since I’m not travelling alone, I should probably discuss this with the Owner…)
(But with both Clavis and Luke accompanying me, having familiar faces in an unfamiliar land does make me feel more assured.)
After mulling it over, I furrowed my brows and tore the fortune bread in half.
Emma: Oh?
(Something fell out from inside.)
It was a small porcelain figurine that resembled a horse with a horn, standing proudly in my palm.
Rio: As expected of Emma! You hit the jackpot.
Clavis: Hm… the unicorn is indeed currently considered the continent-wide ultimate symbol of “good luck”.
Emma: Is that so?
Clavis: Yeah. You should keep it as a good luck charm. What a great start to your journey.
Clavis: After all, unicorns hold a special symbolism in a country in the desert.
(I don't exactly associate unicorns with deserts, though…)
Emma: If that’s the case, it does seem like it’ll bring me blessings.
Luke: You’re always a good person, anyway. Even without a unicorn, I bet lots of positive things will happen to you.
I gently cupped the unicorn figurine in my hand.
The unexpected stroke of luck felt encouraging, like it was telling me that my current most honest feelings were right.
Clavis: So, Emma, you’re travelling together with us, right…?
…
The gateway to Tanzanite, the country of deserts, divinations and illusions was a bustling port thriving with merchants, much like Benitoite.
…
Emma: We’re in Tanzanite!
(Although… I expected more sandstorms because I was told that it’s in a desert.)
The lively streets looked nothing like a desert.
However, the animals roaming the streets and the people’s clothing were clearly distinct from those in Rhodolite or Benitoite.
Along with the scent of spices wafting through the air, it was undeniable that we were now on foreign land.
(We’ve really come a long way.)
Akatsuki: Our destination is still far from here. It’s too early to get excited.
The Owner, carrying loads of goods for trading, came to stand next to me.
I was carrying a bag filled with books myself, but it was nothing compared to his load.
Emma: Should I help carry some of that?
Akatsuki: No need. I usually carry it all by myself.
(That's easily 100 books over there… I can't believe he carries them alone.)
Clavis: We offered to help too, but Akatsuki sure is hardworking.
Luke: I told Emma I’d help carry her stuff too.
Clavis and Luke whom we travelled on the same ship with packed lightly as compared to us.
Emma: Thanks. But since this is my first time sourcing for goods, I want to carry my own baggage.
Emma: Selling books in a foreign country and purchasing new ones…
Emma: I’m so excited to see how greatly my bag’s contents will change on the way back to Rhodolite.
Luke: Someone’s being really energetic.
Clavis: Akatsuki is lucky to have such a good assistant too.
Clavis: By the way, where are you two headed to after this?
Akatsuki: We’re meeting someone.
Emma: … We are?
I followed the Owner’s gaze that shifted unnaturally and saw a strikingly beautiful woman standing there.
(Wow…)
She wore vibrant ruby red clothing and was adorned in glamorous accessories that rivaled the Owner’s outfit.
Standing next to her was a bespectacled man with a gentle appearance. He smiled when he noticed us and approached.
Bespectacled Man: We’ve been expecting you, Akatsuki. And this is…?
Emma: I’m Emma, I came as the Owner’s assistant.
Basil: Ah, I read about you in the letter. A pleasure to meet you, please call me Basil.
Basil: And this lady over here is Kamal.
Kamal: …
Kamal smiled seductively and pulled out a stack of papers from which she showed me a piece with the words “it’s nice to meet you” written on it.
Basil: As you can see, Kamal can’t speak. Please communicate with her through writing.
(I see…)
Emma: Understood. I look forward to working with you both.
Clavis: … Hm.
As we exchanged pleasantries, Clavis stood nearby rubbing his chin.
Clavis: You must be emissaries of the living god, correct?
(... Huh?)
Basil: Well done! You noticed right away.
Clavis: The symbols of faith you wear make it easy to figure out.
Clavis pointed at his own chest.
Basil and Kamal gestured to their chests too, where the clasps of their cloaks were fastened.
(... Now that I took a proper look at them, the clasps have unicorns on them.)
(Are those the “symbols of faith”?)
Clavis: I was told in the past that the unicorn ornaments are worn by those who are close to god.
Clavis: And a few years ago, I recall hearing about a book merchant Azel especially favoured.
Clavis: I had my suspicions, but it seems that Akatsuki has some rather prominent clients.
Emma: Is god… one of your clients?
Akatsuki: Regardless of whether they’re god or royalty, a client is a client. Nothing more, nothing less.
(He never mentioned this to me!)
The Owner whose facial expression remained unchanged suddenly appeared far more impressive than I had initially thought of him to be.
Basil: We have always been the ones to guide Akatsuki during his visits to Tanzanite.
Basil: Prince Clavis, Prince Luke, please proceed in that direction. Emissaries from the Royal Court are waiting for you.
Clavis: Haha, not only for me but for Luke the newcomer too? How insightful indeed.
Clavis: Rhodolite didn’t send any prior notice about who would be coming. Is this another prophecy from the living god?
(...!)
Basil: That’s correct. Lord Azel is truly impressive. Is this a good time to talk about it? It is, right?
(He suddenly started speaking really fast…)
Kamal mercilessly smacked Basil on the head as he adjusted his glasses.
She then took out her stack of papers again and showed us the one that said “let’s go”.
(... That sounded like she hit hard enough to crack his skull. Is he okay?)
Luke: Then I guess this is where we go our own ways.
Clavis: I’ll personally come to meet you again, Emma. Before you start crying from loneliness.
Emma: I don't think I will, but until next time.
(So… we’re going straight to meet the god now, right?)
(I’m starting to get nervous.)
(I wonder what kind of person a living god is like.)
…
Azel: Thank you for taking the trouble to come all the way out to such a remote location.
Emma: Oh!
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These light touches
Warning: This is a tickle fic. If you don’t feel comfortable with this kind of fiction, I’d recommend you don’t read it
lee: jisung
ler: bangchan
It was a normal day. Chan and Jisung had a wired autocomplete interview in a few hours and they were getting ready. Doing their makeup, wearing clothes that fit the HOP aesthetic and then left for the studio.
Once they arrived they sat down and chatted a little with the staff. Jisung turns to his hyung and expresses an issue he has.
“Hyung” he said, “I’m a little nervous. Do you mind us practicing English a little?”. Bangchan felt like he’d just been hit by a wave full of cuteness. He pets his first kid’s head and says “Of course, Jisungie. What kind of question is that?”, he says as he tickled his chin. Han lifted his head once the ticklish sensation took over his skin and let out a smile. “You really are sensitive to light touches, aren’t you?”, Han’s cheeks now had a beautiful pink colour, and the best part? It wasn’t his makeup. He was indeed sensitive and too shy that his weakness was known to every of his members.
The interview started not long after that and they reached the point of the questions that go like “Which is Han’s/Bangchan’s…”
It was Bangchan’s turn to hold the template. He rips off the last sticker which was hiding the following question: “Which is Bangchan’s weakness?”.
“Oohhh,” said Chan, giggling nervously. He wasn’t too open about his weaknesses, just like every person. “I think this is something Han should reveal.”.
Han looks at him and starts giggling mischievously. He looks at the camera and says “When we don’t pay attention to him. He sits in a corner alone and pouts.”
Although he didn’t say anything false and although Chan was proud of his English, that didn’t mean that the oldest felt exposed.
Moving on, it was Jisung’s turn. The first question was the same as Chan’s last. Han holding the template he rips off the sticker and reads, “Which is Han’s weakness?”, now he was a nervous blushing mess. He even felt a little helpless. He knew however that his hyung wouldn’t say anything that’d be too private. “Would you like to answer, hyung?”, he said, his (nervous) smile not leaving his face.
“Of course! We were actually talking about this before the interview started.”. Han was confused, he was trying to remember what they’d said, until he realised what it was.
“So, Han’s weakness is light touches. He can’t stand them, they tickle him sooo much.”, said, tickling lightly his neck, resulting Jisung letting out a small squeal and grabbing his hyung’s hand “DO NOT” he said, in his British-like accent. Chan laughed it off and they continued the interview.
Once it finished, they thanked everyone and got in the car to go back. Sitting next to each other, chatting, laughing etc., Chan suddenly pokes Jisung’s sides.
“AH! No no no, don’t start.”, Jisung said, smiling nervously. Everyone knows his ticklish he is, Chan knows that also. Better than anyone else. “Why not Jisungie? Are you ticklish?”, he says playfully. Han looks at him confused at his question. Did they live in a different dorm? Were they in different groups? Didn’t he an hour or so ago say himself that Jisung was indeed ticklish?
“Chan-hyung, are you okay? Of course I am, just like you”, he stated, trying to remind his hyung that even if he got him now, Han would get him back later.
“I know I’m ticklish, Han. Too much if you ask, but that doesn’t make you less ticklish, you know. I might be reaaally ticklish, but, man, you’re ticklish as HELL.”. He wasn’t wrong, he also knew exactly what he was doing. He wanted to make Han feel vulnerable so the tickles he’d receive later on would have a stronger effect.
Jisung was now blushing, he knew everything Chan had just said was true, whether he liked it or not. “Stop it. I know. You are not any better though.”, he said, trying to get himself out of the trap he felt he was in.
“Actually I am. I know, I’m ticklish everywhere, but not at the same level as you. Where do you even want me to start? You neck? Your armpits? Your ribs? Your sides? Or your feet? And it goes without being said that you already feel ticklish at these spots, just by me mentioning them.” It was true.
“Hyung…”, he could see it in Chan’s eyes, he was about to get tickled and there was nothing he could do about it. He was too tired after all, he wouldn’t be able to fight it for long. After a certain point, he’d just have to bare it and let it happen.
Chan made an attempt to tickle Han’s belly. Jisung grabbed them both before he could touch him “Don’t” he said. He was smiling however and, even if he wanted to seem scary, he wasn’t able to. Chan made it out of Han’s grip and tickled him anyways. Han just felt his hyung’s fingers all over his stomach, being already sensitive, and fought with his life to protect the spot that was now being tickled.
“AHAHAHAHA DOHOHONT!”. Chan was in awe watching his baby being tickled, especially when he knew how ticklish he was. When he noticed that Jisung was too busy protecting his tummy, he moved on to his armpits, wiggling his fingers in them. That’s when Jisung absolutely lost it and all his powers left him. He was now in his hyung’s mercy. He wasn’t able to fight back, so he just let him do it. He knew after all that sooner or later everything would end.
“HYUHUHUNG IT TIHICKLEHES HAHAHAHAHA”, he said, hugging himself. “I know Hannie, I know.”, Chan said. He stops. Han looks relieved and takes a deep breath. He thinks that it’s over now, it must’ve been a century. At least that’s what it felt like.
“Are you dohone?”, he asked full of hope. Chan laughed like the question he’d just heard was the stupidest thing ever. “Of course not, my little quokka. You think you’d get away with 30 second of tickling? That was just the beginning.”. Now Han lost every hope.
Chan grabs Jisung’s right leg and puts it on his lap. Han panics. Chan takes off Han’s shoe. He panics even more, you can see the pure terror in his eyes.
Chan begins by tickling lightly under Han’s knee, making him jump and let out a squeak “No no no no no, don’t you dare, don’t touch me there. And leave my foot alone. I’m too tired to fight back.”
“Even better!” Chan locks Jisung’s ankle between his thighs and lightly tickles his soles. That alone was enough for Han to laugh so hard that tears started rolling down his cheeks.
“HYUHUHUHUNG PLEAHAHASEHE LEHET GOHOHOHO” he said, turning around, jumping up and down helplessly. It was too much for him. “Is my Jisungie really that ticklish?”
“IHIHIT’S TOO MUHUHUCH! PLEAHAHASE STOHOHOP IHIHIT! MAHAHAKE IT STOHOP!”. The fact that his foot was trapped made it 100 times worse.
“Be careful kids, and please a little bit quiet. I’m driving.”, said the driver, who was trying to concentrate. Chan stopped. Jisung started breathing heavily.
“How about I tickle you and you try to keep quiet? Let’s do it like a challenge. Remember like when you were a “statue” and Seungmin was touching you along with Felix and how that tickled you? You kept quiet, you only said “it tickles.” Chan suggested.
“How about you don’t tickle me at all?”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I’m ticklish, hyung. I really can’t stand it, especially now that I’m tired. It tickles way too much and I feel like I’m gonna pass out.”, he said, playing serious so Chan would really stop.
“You really are ticklish, aren’t you?” Chan said, sweetly smiling at his younger member.
“Yes, hyung, I am. I’m really ticklish and when you trapped my foot I felt the ticklishness taking all over me. Really, I can’t stand it. What else do you want me to say? Okay, listen here. Chan-hyung, I’m extremely ticklish and even the slightest touch can tickle me sooo much to the point I might accidentally kick or hit someone. That day with the “statue” thing, I was so ticklish i couldn’t even stay still, and Seungmin didn’t even want to actually tickle me. I just was ticklish. Jeongin is also ticklish, more that anyone I know. You are ticklish, even at the thought of it. Every member is ticklish, and so am I. I’m a human being and a sensitive one. Is that what you wanted me to admit?”
“Yes, it was. Without the ‘you’re ticklish too’ part, of course.”, he said.
“You are though”
“I know I am. Anyways, thank you for telling me. I hope you know that doesn’t mean I’ll stop tickling you, right?”
“I’m sure about that, hyung, but I don’t mind it. As long as it’s someone from the group and it’s not too much, I’m somewhat fine with it.”
The rest of the drive was nothing special. They chatted and joked around like before Han’s torture. Only they poked a little bit each other every 5 or 10 minutes.
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