pixiefelixie

[pixiefelixie]

𓆝..°°𓈒 ⋆ (필릭스) : REMEMBER THIS SUMMER "SATURDAY"

𓆉 °°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ synopsis felix is living the summer every teenager dreams of, with a perfect beach house on the east coast of australia and an even more perfect girlfriend. by taking the best of both worlds, felix invites her to experience the world he grew up in to make this the best summer ever. amidst bonfires, romantic sunsets, and seagulls, felix has one goal this summer: to finally tell her he loves her. with just one week to do so, felix is met with a challenge to make his feelings known before time runs out. 

pairing: nonidol!felix x fem!reader, series warnings: felix + reader are intended to be 17-18, established relationship, fluff, suggestive themes!!, an erection happens but nothing more, making out important notes: The content of this work is purely fictional and is not intended to endorse or encourage any behavior, especially among minors, that may be deemed inappropriate or unsafe. This story is created solely for entertainment purposes and should be understood as fiction. Reader discretion is advised.

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chapter under the cut! ~14k words

day 7 - 9:00

felix was wrecked.

he woke up this morning just to see that your toothbrush had been removed from the holder—the one that had sat right beside his for the past week, like it belonged there. like you belonged there. but now, the empty space mocked him, stark and glaring.

everything was a reminder that you were leaving. your suitcase, now zipped up and sitting neatly by your door, almost ready to go. the way you had returned the borrowed hoodie he had given you on the first night, folded too perfectly, as if trying to erase the fact that you had ever worn it.

the weight in felix’s chest hadn’t lifted since the moment he woke up—it only grew heavier with every little thing that reminded him you were leaving. it was stupid, maybe. you weren’t gone yet. you were still here, still breathing the same air as him, still close enough that he could reach out and touch you. but what did that matter when you were already slipping away?

the ceramic cup felt cold in your hands as you rinsed away the last traces of coffee, watching the water swirl down the drain. you took your time, drying it off carefully before placing it back in the cupboard—exactly where it belonged, exactly where felix would expect to find it tomorrow. the thought made your chest tighten. tomorrow. you wouldn’t be here tomorrow.

you exhaled slowly, pressing your palm against the counter to steady yourself. you’d spent the morning moving quietly, tucking things away, making sure you left no mess behind. 

your eyes drifted to the window. beyond the glass, the ocean stretched endlessly, its surface shimmering under the late morning sun. the tide had pulled back, exposing damp sand and scattered shells. you knew exactly where felix was, even if you couldn’t see him. the wooden steps leading down to the beach blocked your view, but you could picture him there—sitting alone by the water, head tilted toward the waves.

you sighed.

for a moment, you let yourself hesitate, fingers gripping the edge of the sink. a part of you wanted to stay inside, let the minutes slip away until it was too late to talk, too late to say anything at all. maybe it would be easier if you just left. if you let this ending remain unspoken, unfinished. but that wasn’t fair—to you, to him.

so you forced yourself to move.

the screen door creaked softly as you stepped outside, the warm breeze brushing against your skin. the wooden steps felt solid beneath your feet, each one carrying you closer to the inevitable.

felix didn’t turn when you reached the bottom. he just stood there, watching the waves roll in and out, his shoulders tense.

you swallowed the lump in your throat and took a step forward.

“felix,” you said, barely above a whisper.

he didn’t move at first, but you saw the way his back stiffened, the way his fingers curled into fists at his sides. and when he finally turned to look at you, his eyes were already filled with something you couldn’t bear to name.

"hey," he said, voice quiet but steady. he patted the sand beside him, an invitation.

you hesitated. just for a second. but then you moved, sinking down beside him. the sand was cool beneath your hands, grains slipping through your fingers as you exhaled slowly.

it all felt off. normally, if you and felix were sitting by this beach, you’d be leaning into him—your head on his shoulder, his arm lazily slung around your waist. normally, the space between you didn’t exist.

but now, there was a thick wall between you, invisible but unbreakable.

felix turned his head slightly, his gaze settling on you. you felt it—the quiet weight of it, the way he was searching for something in your expression. maybe he was looking for reassurance. maybe he already knew what was coming.

you couldn’t bear to look at him.

your throat tightened as you dropped your eyes to the sand, watching the fine grains slip through your fingers. your hands felt small, unsteady. you hated that. you hated feeling this fragile in front of him.

felix had always been able to read you too well. and now, sitting this close, you started to wonder if he noticed your red eyes—if he could see the exhaustion clinging to you, the proof of last night when you had buried your face in your pillow and cried so quietly it almost didn’t feel real.

you swallowed and forced yourself to say something.

"um."

it wasn’t much, but felix shifted slightly, angling his body toward you. he was listening. he always listened. 

you clenched your jaw, focusing on the sand in your hands, rubbing the grains between your fingers. then, finally, you forced the words out.

"i’ve been thinking about us," you admitted, voice barely above a whisper. "about what would happen when we get back to sydney."

felix didn’t dare to speak.

you could feel it—the way he held his breath, the way his fingers curled just a little tighter against his knees, like he was bracing for impact. maybe if he didn’t say anything, he could pretend for just a second longer that this conversation wasn’t happening. that everything was fine. that this wasn’t the moment everything changed.

but you weren’t going to let him pretend.

you swallowed, voice quieter now. “just… just know that you won’t have to treat me differently anymore. you won’t have to do the things you normally do for me. ”

felix’s brows furrowed slightly, but he still didn’t speak.

like walking me home from school.

like keeping an extra hair tie around his wrist because he knows i always lose mine.

like waiting for my goodnight text before going to sleep, even if i take too long to send it.

like looking at me the way he’s looking at me right now.

you couldn’t say all of that. your voice would break if you tried. so instead, you just let the words sit between you, like the ocean air was carrying them away.

felix shifted beside you, and for a second, it almost seemed like he was going to reach for you. like muscle memory was kicking in, like he was about to lace your fingers together, pull you closer, keep you there.

but he didn’t.

instead, he exhaled shakily, tilting his head up toward the sky, like it hurt too much to look at you. and maybe it did. 

felix’s voice was quiet when he finally spoke, but there was no mistaking the way it wavered, like he was barely holding it together.

“this is you breaking up with me, right?”

you inhaled sharply, fingers tightening around a handful of sand before letting it slip through your grasp. you looked at him then. really looked at him.

his eyes were still fixed on the sky, his jaw set, his lips pressed together like he was trying to keep himself from saying something else—something desperate, something that might make you stay. not only stay at the beach. but stay with him.

you sighed, staring down at your lap. your voice came out small, tired. “i mean… what else am i supposed to do, felix?”

felix went silent.

you swallowed, forcing yourself to keep going, even though every word felt like pressing on a bruise. "i told you last night that i loved you, and you didn’t say anything."

felix’s breath hitched just slightly, but he still didn’t look at you. his fingers curled into the sand beside him, gripping it like it could ground him, like it could hold him steady when everything else was slipping through his fingers.

you let out a short, bitter laugh, shaking your head. "and now, we’re sitting here, talking about breaking up, and you still won’t say anything."

nothing.

he just sat there, staring at the waves, like if he stayed quiet long enough, maybe the ocean would swallow this whole conversation and carry it away.

you exhaled, the sound shaky, defeated. "i get it. it’s uncomfortable for us to talk about."

you stared at him for a moment longer, waiting—hoping—for something. anything. a word. a reason. a fight. but felix stayed silent, his gaze fixed on the waves, his hands buried in the sand like he was trying to hold onto something that had already slipped away.

you exhaled, rubbing your palms over your jeans, trying to gather your thoughts. the silence between you had stretched too long, filled with everything left unsaid. maybe that was how it was always going to end—quietly, painfully, without answers.

you swallowed, gripping the fabric of your jeans between your fingers. "if i hadn’t said it… if i hadn’t told you i loved you last night… would it hurt this much to leave?"

felix blinked, taken aback. his jaw tensed. you saw his throat bob as he swallowed hard, saw the way his fingers twitched against the sand. 

you forced out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. “would things have just been better if i hadn’t said anything?” your voice wavered, but you pushed through. 

felix’s brows knitted together, his mouth opening slightly like he wanted to stop you—but the words had already slipped out, and once they started, you couldn’t hold them back.

“maybe i should’ve just kept it to myself,” you whispered, your throat tightening with every word. “maybe then, we wouldn’t be—”

your voice caught, cracking mid-sentence. you sucked in a sharp breath, pressing a hand over your mouth as if you could physically stop the sob that threatened to break free.

felix moved before he could stop himself. his hand hovered over yours for a split second—hesitant, unsure—but when he saw the way your shoulders shook, the way you refused to meet his eyes, he gave in.

his fingers curled gently around your wrist, grounding, warm.

“don’t,” he murmured, his voice hoarse. “don’t say that.”

you shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut. “but it’s true, isn’t it?”

felix’s grip on your wrist tightened just slightly—not enough to hurt, just enough to make you feel it. to make sure you knew he was still here.

but it wasn’t enough.

you let out a shaky breath, your voice breaking as you pushed forward. “if you’re gonna deny it, then just—just tell me.”

felix inhaled sharply, but he didn’t speak. he just stared at you, his lips parted like he wanted to say something, but the words were stuck in his throat.

you swallowed, chest rising and falling unevenly. “tell me that all you’ve done for me is for a reason,” you whispered. “tell me that yesterday morning wasn’t a mistake.”

his breath hitched.

your voice was barely more than a plea now. “tell me that you actually feel something for me. that this isn’t just—just habit, or guilt, or whatever else.” you exhaled, your grip tightening in your lap. “tell me, and i’ll stay. i won’t go home today.”

felix’s silence was the loudest thing you had ever heard.

you could see it—his struggle, the war in his eyes, the way his fingers trembled slightly even as he held onto you. and for a second, just a second, you let yourself hope. hope that maybe, maybe he’d say something that would make you stay.

but then, he exhaled, long and shaky, and his grip on your wrist loosened before he finally let go.

the absence of his touch was immediate, leaving behind nothing but cold air and an ache that settled deep in your bones.

felix ran a hand through his hair, tilting his head back toward the sky, like he was trying to find the right words. or maybe just the least painful ones. but when he finally spoke, his voice was eerily calm, steady in a way that made your stomach twist.

he hesitated, just for a second. “i don’t love you. i can’t.”

your breath caught.

he didn’t even give you time to react before he kept going, each word cutting deeper than the last.

“i never did.”

the wind howled around you, the waves crashing against the shore, but all you could hear was the sound of your own heart shattering in your chest.

felix just stared at you, his expression unreadable. “you need something from me that i can’t give. you need that commitment. i was never going to be that guy for you.” 

you swayed slightly where you sat, like the weight of his words was physically knocking the air out of you.

the way he said it—so detached, so certain—made your stomach twist.

every moment you had shared, every soft touch, every lingering glance—had it all been a lie?

your lips parted, but nothing came out.

felix sighed, dragging a hand through his hair, glancing away as if this conversation was nothing more than an inconvenience to him. “i don’t know what else you want me to say, y/n. i didn’t ask for this. i didn’t ask for you to fall in love with me.” he shook his head. “i was just trying to have fun. i never meant to lead you on. we weren’t supposed to be this serious”

the words knocked the air from your lungs.

felix didn’t flinch. “so if you can’t take it, go home, y/n,” he said, his voice cool, final. “go home and forget about me.”

you inhaled shakily, willing yourself not to cry again, not in front of him. but you could already feel the sting in your eyes, the lump in your throat, the way your body fought against the truth he was handing you so easily.

your relationship wasn’t real to felix.

and you were foolish to think that it ever was.

your lips parted, but no sound came out. there was nothing left to say, nothing you could say that wouldn’t make this worse.

and that was it.

no fight. no hesitation. no apology.

you forced yourself to move. slowly, you stood up, brushing the sand off your palms, off the back of your shorts. 

you cleared your throat, forcing your voice to stay even. “i’m taking the 3:15 bus.”

felix’s shoulders stiffened. but all he did was nod.

and somehow, that was worse than anything he could have said.

day 7 - 12:00

“if you’d told me you two were broken up before you called me to surf, i wouldn't have come,” chris said, his tone sharp as he glanced at felix.

felix’s jaw tightened, frustration bubbling up. “i didn’t call you to talk about it, man. i called you to get out of my head for a bit.”

chris scoffed, shaking his head. “and running away from it is really helping, huh?”

felix didn’t answer, his eyes fixed on the horizon, trying to push everything—you, the conversation, the mess—out of his mind. but chris wasn’t letting up.

chris let out a dry laugh. “you know, i get not wanting to deal with it, but pretending it’s not there isn’t gonna fix anything.”

felix didn’t respond. he didn’t want to talk about this—not now, not when the weight of this morning was still pressing down on him like a stone in his chest.

chris studied him for a moment, then sighed. “look, i’m not saying you have to fix it right this second, but you can’t just act like you’re fine either. you’ve been all over the place these last few days.” chris continued, undeterred. 

felix exhaled sharply, shaking his head as he adjusted his grip on his board. “i’m fine, chris. we broke it off, we understood each other. everything went smoothly.”

chris snorted.“yeah? that so?” he narrowed his eyes. “how could it have gone smoothly?”

felix hesitated, just for a second, but chris caught it.

“she must’ve fought for it,” chris pushed. “she wouldn’t have just let it go.”

felix’s fingers twitched against the fiberglass. his throat felt tight.

“it was not that complicated, chris.” he said, his voice almost too steady.

chris frowned. “bullshit.”

felix’s jaw clenched. he could feel chris’s stare boring into him, searching, waiting for him to crack.

then, finally, the words slipped out, quiet, forced.

“because i told her i didn’t love her. i told her i didn’t feel anything.”

chris’s expression froze.

felix admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “so she wouldn’t fight.”

chris let out a slow breath, shaking his head in disbelief. “felix.”

felix let out a hollow laugh, shaking his head. “i mean, what else was i supposed to do? stay silent again? get choked on my words like last night?” his grip on the board tightened. “i didn’t want to confuse her.”

chris stared at him like he didn’t even recognize him. “so you lied?”

felix didn’t answer.

chris took a step closer, his voice lower now, sharper. “felix, she believed in you. hell, she basically lost her virginity to you.” he let the words hang there, heavy, cutting. “that’s just so fucked. you can’t just do that.”

felix flinched, but chris wasn’t done.

“you don’t get to tell someone you don’t love them after that,” chris pressed. “not if it’s not true. not if—” he exhaled harshly, dragging a hand through his hair. “god, man. do you even realize what that must’ve done to her?”

felix stared at the ground, jaw tight.

“she trusted you,” chris went on. “you don’t think she deserved the truth?”

felix let out a slow breath, eyes still fixed on the sand. “the truth wouldn’t have made it any easier.”

chris scoffed. “for who? you or her? you think she’s better off hating you, don’t you?”

felix stiffened.

chris scoffed, shaking his head. “yeah, i figured. that’s the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard, by the way.”

felix’s grip tightened on his board, fingers pressing so hard against the fiberglass that they ached. “it’s done, chris.” his voice was flat. hollow. 

chris let out a short laugh, but there was no amusement in it. “yeah? is that why you’re out here, trying to drown yourself in waves that could snap your board in half?” he took a step closer. “if you really thought she was better off, you wouldn’t be acting like this.”

felix swallowed hard, his throat burning. he hated how easily chris saw through him. hated how he had to bite down on the instinct to defend himself—because chris was right.

chris hesitated, then said carefully, “and i told her, by the way. the other day.”

felix frowned, glancing over at him. “told her what?”

chris met his eyes. “that you love her.”

felix froze. his breath caught in his throat.

“you what?”

chris shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal. “yeah, i told her.”

felix just stared at him, his entire body going stiff. “chris—why would you do that?” his voice was quieter now, but there was something raw in it, something close to panic. “she was probably expecting me to say it back then.” his voice was tight, forced. “don’t mess with things like this, man.”

chris narrowed his eyes. “mess with what? the truth?”

felix let out a humorless laugh, running a hand down his face. “you don’t just get to drop something like that on her.” his jaw clenched. “you don’t get to—” he stopped himself, his breath uneven.

“you really think she didn’t already know?” chris sighed. “she deserved to hear it, felix. even if it wasn’t from you.”

felix’s hands curled into fists at his sides. “you don’t get to decide that for me.” his voice was quieter now, but there was an edge to it.

chris shook his head. “and you don’t get to lie to her just because you’re scared.”

felix’s throat burned. “like i said, it’s done,” he muttered, barely audible. “it doesn’t matter anymore.”

chris watched him for a long moment, then exhaled sharply. “yeah? tell that to yourself when you see her again.”

felix looked away, his jaw tight. his pulse was pounding in his ears.

“look,” chris said, his tone softer now. “you love her, yeah?”

felix exhaled slowly. “yeah,” he admitted, voice barely above a whisper.

“and you’re just gonna let her leave without knowing that?”

felix swallowed. he didn’t answer.

“i get it, man. it’s scary. saying it out loud makes it real, and that’s a lot. but… you already lost her by not saying it. what’s the worst that could happen if you just told her the truth?”

felix opened his mouth to respond, but the words caught in his throat. his pulse raced. he did love her, and that terrified him. everything about it terrified him. 

“you think it’s easy? you think i want this? want to lose her like this?” felix’s voice was shaking, his chest tight with all the words he hadn’t been able to say. “it’s not that i don’t care. i do. i do. but how am i supposed to just... say it when i’m not even sure what i’m doing?”

chris held his gaze, steady and unwavering. “you still have time to fix this before she leaves, felix.” his voice was calm, but there was an urgency beneath it. “but just know—once she steps on that bus, it’s over.”

felix swallowed hard, his breath uneven. his fingers curled against his palms, the weight of chris’s words pressing down on him like a vice.

“i don’t—” he stopped, shaking his head. “i don’t even know what to say to her.”

chris huffed out a short, disbelieving laugh. “you do, felix. it’s the same three words you’ve been dying to let out.”

felix clenched his jaw, looking away.

chris ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “look, i’m not saying it’s gonna be easy. but you love her, man. and if you let her leave thinking you don’t, that’s on you.”

felix pressed his lips together, staring at the sand. his hands curled into fists, then slowly relaxed. chris didn’t push him any further. he just let the silence sit between them, letting felix sit with the truth of it.

felix shifted uncomfortably, his grip tightening on his surfboard. “look... you were right,” he muttered, barely above a whisper, like saying it aloud would make it even more real.

chris blinked, caught off guard. “what do you mean?”

felix exhaled sharply, staring down at the sand. his fingers drummed against the fiberglass of his board, restless, like he wanted to be anywhere but here. “you were right,” he repeated, a little firmer this time. “about all of it.”

chris raised an eyebrow. “about what?”

felix’s throat tightened, and for a moment, he couldn’t speak. he couldn’t say her name, not here, not now. every time he thought about it, it was like a knot in his chest—like something he couldn’t untangle. he wanted to say something, to explain, but the words just wouldn’t come. he clenched his jaw and shook his head slightly. “you know,” he started, but his voice faltered. “the past person.”

chris blinked, his brows knitting together. then, after a beat, he let out a dry, disbelieving chuckle. “seriously? ‘the past person’?”

felix’s jaw was locked, his chest tight, and just the thought of saying her name—of letting it roll off his tongue—felt like shoving a knife into an old wound. chris’s mouth opened like he had something to say, but for once, he hesitated. he just watched felix, really watched him—the tension in his jaw, the way his hands curled into fists at his sides, the way his breath came just a little too fast, like the weight of this conversation was pressing down on his chest.

felix let out a slow, unsteady breath. “everything that happened… it’s still there. still sticking to me like it just happened yesterday.” his voice was rough, barely above a whisper. “i can’t shake it, chris. and you were right.” his throat tightened. “maybe she’s the reason i can’t do this.”

chris didn’t say anything right away. he just let the words sit there, heavy and unshakable. then, gently, he said, “felix… i’m sure y/n would understand if you just explained it to her.”

felix let out a sharp, humorless laugh. “and what exactly do you want me to say?” he turned to face chris fully now, his expression twisted. “what am i supposed to tell her, huh? ‘hey, baby, i sorta killed my verbally abusive ex, so now i can’t say i love you’—is that what you think i should tell her?” his voice cracked, something raw slipping through, but he didn’t care.

chris’s jaw tightened. “why do you still think you killed her, felix?” he spoke slowly, carefully, like he was trying to keep felix from running, from shutting down completely. “after i spent a whole damn year telling you that you didn’t?”

felix paused, the words hitting him harder than expected. “my bad,” he muttered, his voice tight. 

chris sighed, his expression softening, but there was still that firm edge to his voice. “you don’t have to tell her everything, not all at once.” he stepped closer, his tone steady, unwavering. “but you owe her the truth. that’s at least what she deserves.”

felix’s jaw clenched. he knew chris was right—of course he was right. but that didn’t make it any easier. the truth was a tangled mess inside him, all sharp edges and frayed ends, and the thought of putting it into words—of giving it power, of letting you see all the ugly, broken pieces of him—made his chest tighten with something close to panic.

chris must have seen it, because his voice softened even more. “felix, you love her.”

felix’s throat bobbed as he swallowed.

chris sighed. “so stop making decisions for her. let her decide if she still wants you after knowing the truth.”

felix shook his head, his grip tightening around his board like it was the only thing keeping him grounded. “she won’t stay, chris.” his voice was quiet, but firm—like he had already made peace with the inevitable. like he was bracing for impact before the crash even came.

chris exhaled, frustrated but patient. “felix, listen to me.” he stepped closer, waiting for felix to actually look at him. “she's not mabel.” the name alone made felix flinch, but chris didn’t stop. “she’s not going to treat you like that. you’re not going to scare her off by being honest with her.” his voice softened. “you’re just… too tangled up in the past to see it clearly right now.”

his words echoed in felix’s mind, and he couldn’t shake them. you’re not her. the more he thought about it, the more he realized how true that was. you weren’t mabel. you never had been. you hadn’t twisted his love into something toxic or used his vulnerabilities to manipulate him. you had always treated him with kindness, with respect, with an honesty that made him want to trust you—even when he was scared.

felix’s breath caught in his throat as he repeated the words in his head, over and over, trying to convince himself. 

you’re not her.

day 7 - 15:15

a few hours had passed, slipping through felix’s fingers faster than he could grasp. time had a cruel way of moving like that—too slow when you wanted to forget, too fast when you weren’t ready to say goodbye.

and now, here he was. standing at the bus stop with you, watching as the reality of your leaving settled into something solid, something unavoidable. your bags were packed, your whole life for the next stretch of time condensed into a few suitcases. he’d insisted on carrying them, even when you told him not to. maybe it was just an excuse to hold onto something of yours for a little longer.

his hands were full, but that wasn’t what was weighing him down. it was everything he hadn’t said. everything still sitting heavy in his chest, pressing against his ribs, waiting.

felix shifted his weight, his grip tightening around the handles of your suitcase. the silence between you stretched, thick and heavy, almost suffocating. the bus stop was quiet, but inside his head, everything was too loud. the words chris had drilled into him hours ago still echoed, reverberating against the walls of his mind.

he looked over at you.

and there you were.

you stood with your arms crossed, your shoulders tense, your fingers curling and uncurling like you weren’t sure what to do with your hands. you weren’t looking at him. not really. your gaze was fixed somewhere near the pavement, your brows knitted together ever so slightly, lips pressed into a thin line—like you were trying your best to hold everything in, to not let anything slip.

felix knew you well enough to see it. you were uncomfortable. you were standing here with him, beside him, but there was a space between you that hadn’t always been there—one he had created.

his chest tightened.

you finally spoke, your voice quieter than usual.

“felix,” you said, still not looking at him. “you don’t have to stay.”

his throat went dry.

you let out a small breath, shifting from one foot to the other, then finally turned to face him. “i can wait here until the bus comes,” you continued, voice careful, measured. “you should go home.”

home.

felix swallowed hard. it should’ve been simple, right? you told him to leave, so he should. that was the logical thing to do.

but his feet didn’t move.

his fingers curled around the suitcase handle and his pulse was erratic, hammering against his ribs.

felix shifted on his feet. you could tell he was debating something, maybe even considering listening to you for once, but then he shook his head—just barely—and said, “no, uh… it’s okay. i’ll stay. just until you get on.”

you swallowed hard.

the air between you went silent, thick with everything unsaid. even the occasional whoosh of cars in the distance felt muted, like the world had decided to press pause just to make this moment even more unbearable.

felix exhaled, glancing down at his shoes before rubbing the back of his neck. “so, um…” he hesitated, then forced out a chuckle, as if that could make things less awkward. “what was your favorite part of the trip?”

you blinked at him. after everything, after what he said—he wanted to talk about the trip? like things were normal? mentally, you scoffed. you didn’t want to answer. didn’t want to entertain the conversation, didn’t want to let him pretend this was fine. but the weight of his stare lingered, waiting, pressing, and so you forced yourself to say the first thing that came to mind.

“maybe… paddleboarding.”

felix nodded, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips, like he was trying to hold onto something good. but you knew, just as well as he did, that it wasn’t the paddleboarding that had meant the most to you.

it was the quieter moments—the ones tucked away, hidden between the noise. like the time at the cove, when the sun had been just the right shade of orange as it dipped into the ocean, or the night of the storm, when the world outside had been drenched and cold, but inside, between the two of you, there had been nothing but warmth.

those moments were the ones that felt worth remembering. the ones that deserved to be written in a story, as though they were the kind of thing worth capturing in the pages of a book, where things could be real and imperfect but somehow beautiful all the same.

but felix had taken a red pen to your story.

he’d crossed out the parts that mattered.

felix simply nodded, his gaze flickering away as if he knew there was more you weren’t saying. but he didn’t press. didn’t push. just stood there, hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie, rocking slightly on his heels like this was just any other conversation.

and maybe that should’ve been the end of it. maybe you should’ve let the silence settle again, let the conversation die out like the embers of something already burnt beyond recognition.

but instead, you found yourself asking, “what was yours?”

you weren’t even sure why. maybe it was curiosity. maybe it was bitterness, a part of you waiting for him to say something ridiculous—something that would prove how little he really understood about what this trip had meant to you.

felix’s lips parted slightly, like he was just about to say something—like the words were right there, balanced on the edge of his tongue. but before he could get them out, the distant hum of an engine grew louder, and the bus pulled up to the curb with a low, shuddering groan. the brakes hissed sharply, the door swinging open with a mechanical clank.

relief flooded through you. you needed to get out of here, and the bus had arrived just in time, like some kind of escape route appearing at the last possible second.

you pushed yourself up from the bench, fingers already curling around the handle of your luggage. but when you glanced to the side, felix was standing too—like he hadn’t even thought about it, like his body had just moved on instinct to match yours.

“that’s me,” you murmured, voice quiet, steady. 

felix’s breath hitched. his heart pounded, drowning out the world around him—the hiss of the bus, the low murmur of passengers, the rustling leaves caught in the wind. his fingers wouldn’t let go.

you noticed.

"felix," you murmured, your voice barely a breath, your eyes searching his face.

his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, jaw clenched tight like he was holding something back, like if he didn’t, everything he was trying to suppress would come spilling out all at once. the muscles in his forearm flexed, his grip on your luggage so tight his knuckles turned white. he was rigid, bracing for impact, as if letting go of this—of you—would take something vital with it.

then, finally, he looked at you.

and for the first time in days, he didn’t try to hide it.

the fear. the regret. the weight of everything he hadn’t said—it was all there, raw and unguarded, written in the crease of his brows, in the tight set of his mouth.

for a fraction of a second, you hesitated.

you thought about staying.

thought about what it would feel like to let yourself fall into him the way you always had, to pretend for just a little longer that you still belonged in his orbit. that gravity hadn’t shifted, that the ground beneath your feet wasn’t already gone.

but you couldn’t. not now. not like this.

someone brushed past you, muttering as they stepped onto the bus, but the world outside of this moment felt far away, blurred at the edges. all you could feel was the weight in your chest, the unbearable pull of felix’s presence, anchoring you when you knew you had to leave.

"stay," he said, voice rough, barely above a whisper. “just one more day.”

that was all it took. and just like that, something inside you cracked, splintering down the middle.

your breath caught, chest tightening like invisible hands were pressing down, squeezing until it hurt. you could hear it in his voice—the strain, the fear, the quiet desperation buried beneath the syllable. it wasn't just a request. it was a plea.

"you want me to?" you asked, though you already knew the answer.

felix barely nodded. it was small, hesitant—like saying it out loud would break him. his fingers twitched around the handle of your bag, and you knew, right then, that this wasn’t about luggage. this was about letting go. about losing you.

and for a second, you almost gave in.

"one more day so you won’t have to leave like this. please, baby.”

the name—soft, aching, too easy on his tongue—sent a shiver down your spine. a ghost of something you weren’t sure you could bear to feel again.

you swallowed hard, your grip tightening around the strap of your bag like it was the only thing anchoring you to reality. the bus engine was humming, the driver barely sparing you a glance as the line of passengers shuffled forward. you were so close to leaving—so close to stepping onto that bus, to putting distance between yourself and the weight of everything he wasn’t saying.

but then there was felix. his fingers still curled around your bag, his eyes locked onto yours like he was afraid that if he blinked, you’d disappear.

“i can’t stay,” you said, voice barely above a whisper.

his brows drew together, the muscles in his jaw tightening as if bracing himself for impact. “why not?”

your throat ached, and god, you wished he wouldn’t ask that. wished he wouldn’t make this harder than it already was.

“because you don’t get to do this,” you said, voice trembling despite your best efforts to keep it steady. “you don’t get to push me away, to tell me you don’t love me, and then ask me to stay like none of that happened.”

his breath hitched, like your words physically knocked the air out of him.

“i know,” he said again, and this time, it was barely a sound. more like an admission, a confession, something raw and broken slipping between his lips.

you let out a shaky breath, willing yourself to move, to take that last step onto the bus, but you still weren’t sure if your feet would obey you.

your chest tightened as you lifted your hand, the movement slow and hesitant, as if each inch closer to him made your body ache with the weight of what was about to happen. your fingers brushed his cheek, the warmth of his skin seeping through, and you almost couldn’t breathe. you let your hand linger, trembling slightly as it cupped his face fully. his skin was soft under your palm, the familiar feel of him like an echo of a time when everything between you was simpler, lighter.

the moment you touched him, felix’s breath hitched sharply, his eyes fluttering shut like your fingers were the only thing keeping him from falling apart. the way his body seemed to freeze, how every inch of him softened under your touch, sent a pang straight through your chest. for a split second, everything felt real again—like the space between you was no longer filled with distance and hurt.

in that fragile moment, he was yours. the boy who used to steal your breath with just a look. the boy whose presence was enough to make the world fall away, to make everything else fade into the background. the boy who once held your heart like it was the most precious thing he’d ever touched, as if he were the only one who could hold it right.

but that boy wasn’t yours anymore.

and you weren’t his, either.

you pulled your hand back slowly, like it was being torn from him, the ache in your chest growing sharper with each second. felix’s fingers, which had been clinging to your bag, loosened reluctantly, his grip faltering as if he wasn’t ready to let go of the moment—or you. but finally, after what felt like an eternity, he did. his fingers released completely, and the absence of his touch was a cold, empty space you could feel in the marrow of your bones.

it was like a shiver ran through you, one that had nothing to do with the breeze or the chill in the air. his touch—his warmth—was gone, and that absence left you hollow.

you took a shaky step back, and the world seemed to press in closer, suffocating you with the weight of everything unsaid. your throat burned as you forced yourself to turn away. your heart was screaming to look back at him, but you didn’t. you couldn’t. because if you did, you knew that this—this goodbye—would never happen.

as you stepped away, something inside felix fractured. a deep, splintering crack that felt like it started in his ribs and spread outward, threatening to pull him apart.

he watched your back, the way your shoulders tensed—like you were holding yourself together by sheer force of will, like every instinct in you was screaming to turn around, but you wouldn’t let yourself.

and then, for the first time, a terrifying thought struck him with full force.

this was it.

his last chance.

if he let you walk away now, that was it—no rewrites, no second takes to fix what had already unraveled. no more late-night calls that stretched until sunrise. no more accidental glances across crowded rooms that felt anything but accidental. no more hope that, one day, you’d find your way back to him.

because this time, you wouldn’t.

felix felt it in his bones.

panic seized his chest, squeezing until it hurt. his heart slammed against his ribs, his pulse a roaring tide in his ears. he had spent so long telling himself there was time—that someday, somehow, he’d make things right. that you’d come back.

but there was no more time.

and if he didn’t do something—right now—he would lose you forever.

“wait.”

the word tore from his throat, raw and desperate. his feet moved before he could think, before reason could stop him, closing the space between you.

you froze.

his hands shook as he reached for you—not to hold you back, not to keep you here against your will, but just to touch. just to feel you, even for a second, to prove to himself that you were still real.

his fingers brushed your wrist, making you turn.

felix’s breath caught.

your eyes were glassy, sunlight catching on the unshed tears that lined them. your lips parted slightly, like there were words you wanted to say but couldn’t quite find. the sight of you—standing there, looking at him like that—sent a sharp, twisting ache straight through his chest.

he couldn’t keep doing this to you. couldn’t keep pulling you back when he had no right to.

his fingers twitched against your skin, and suddenly, he saw it—the exhaustion in your posture, the way your shoulders sagged beneath the weight of something heavy, something unspoken.

and he realized—he wasn’t making this easier. he was making it worse.

his throat tightened.

you glanced back at the bus. most of the passengers were already inside, the driver shifting impatiently in his seat, fingers hovering near the door controls.

the moment was slipping away.

you were slipping away.

felix panicked.

“don’t you wanna know my favorite part of the trip?” felix blurted, his voice fraying at the edges.

you hesitated. your brows pulled together—wary, guarded—but something in your stance shifted. the tension in your shoulders eased, just barely. and then, slowly, reluctantly, you turned back toward him.

felix swallowed hard. his palms were clammy, his throat dry.

you were so beautiful.

the thought hit him like a punch to the gut.

the way the sunlight softened against your skin, the way your eyes—tired, hesitant, but still on him—made him feel like he was sixteen again. back when he used to stumble over his words, back when he was desperate to make you laugh.

but this wasn’t then.

and he wasn’t sure he had anything left that could make you stay.

you exhaled slowly, closing your eyes for a moment, like you were trying to steady yourself, like if you could just block out the way he was looking at you, this wouldn’t hurt so much.

felix waited.

you could feel it—the weight of his stare, the silent plea in the space between you. he wanted this moment to stretch, to last just a little longer, to mean something. but you weren’t sure if it could anymore.

still, for some reason—maybe exhaustion, maybe something deeper—you gave him a chance. one last chance.

your eyes fluttered open, and you met his gaze.

“okay,” you said, voice quiet. “what was it?”

felix’s lips parted slightly, like he hadn’t expected you to ask, like he hadn’t thought he’d get this far. he ran a hand through his hair again, a nervous habit, and then let out a breathy chuckle—small, shaky, the kind that didn’t reach his eyes.

“i can’t really choose just one thing,” he admitted, voice quiet, careful. “but i don’t think… i could ever forget the night you defended me at the bonfire.”

you froze.

the memory came rushing back—griff’s careless, biting words, the way felix had stood there, caught off guard and unsure, trying to brush it off like it didn’t matter. but it did. you’d seen it in his eyes, in the way his jaw had clenched just a second too late. and you—without hesitation, without a second thought—had stood up for him.

felix swallowed hard. his breath came out unsteady. “i don’t think i’ll ever forget what you did for me,” he said, his gaze flickering down for half a second before meeting yours again, open and raw. “what it felt like to have someone care that much. to have you care that much.” his voice softened. “it meant a lot… more than i realized back then.”

silence stretched between you, heavy and suffocating, like a moment caught between what was and what could have been.

felix shifted, his fingers twitching at his sides. when he spoke again, his voice was lower, rougher. “that night… i felt so—” he exhaled sharply, like the words were catching in his throat. “i felt so loved by you.” his adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “and i didn’t even know what to do with it. but it was real. and it meant more than i could ever put into words.”

your breath hitched.

then, softer, hesitant, like he was afraid of the weight of it, he said, “and later that night, when i was drunk… i told you i loved you, too.”

your stomach twisted.

“you… remember that?” your voice was barely above a whisper.

felix nodded, slow and deliberate, his eyes never leaving yours. “of course i do,” he murmured. “i’ve been thinking about it all week—wondering if i could just get drunk enough again… maybe i’d finally be able to say it.” he let out a shaky breath, his lips pressing together for a beat before he added, almost helplessly, “because i don’t know how to do it sober.”

you let out a soft laugh at his choice of words, and he did too—quiet, a little breathless, like he couldn’t believe he’d just said it out loud. but the moment the laughter faded, his expression shifted. his eyes softened, filled with something deep and unspoken, something you couldn’t quite place but knew was real.

“and really…” he hesitated, just for a second, before his gaze locked onto yours with quiet certainty. “i’ve been meaning to tell you since the first night we got here.”

your breath hitched and you nodded slowly.

felix let out a shaky laugh, running a hand down his face, almost like he couldn’t believe he was saying this out loud. his voice was raw, unfiltered, like he wasn’t holding anything back anymore. “the first night i kissed you, the first night i ever held you that close—i knew. i knew then.”

your heart pounded in your ears, so loud it drowned out everything else. felix let out a shaky laugh, running a hand down his face like he couldn’t believe he was saying any of this out loud. his voice was raw, unfiltered, stripped of all the walls he usually hid behind.

“so, y/n”

you nodded, a soft, almost hesitant motion, your eyes searching his face, desperate to read the unspoken words lingering in the curve of his lips, in the way his hands clenched at his sides like he was holding himself together by a thread.

“i love you.”

the words came out raw, unpolished—nothing like the way they sounded in his head all the times he had imagined saying them. but they were real. and they were his. the words hit differently this time. not as a memory, not as a drunken slur from a night long past, but real—here, now, spoken with absolute clarity.

for a second, neither of you moved. the bus doors hissed closed, the driver glancing impatiently toward you, but it didn’t matter. all that mattered was the boy in front of you, standing there like he had just handed you his entire heart and was waiting—praying—you wouldn’t drop it.

you were too stunned, too caught in the weight of what he had just given you. your fingers trembled at your sides, your heart pounding so hard it felt like it might shake your entire body.

his voice cracked, thick with something too big to swallow down. “so please, stay.” his hands twitched, like he wanted to reach for you but didn’t know if he was allowed to. “i’ll do anything to make sure you know it, to make sure you never have to doubt it again.” 

“but what about earlier—”

felix flinched, his breath hitching like the weight of his own words was crashing down on him all at once. “i didn’t mean it,” he said quickly, his voice breaking at the edges. “god, i didn’t mean any of it.”

his hands clenched at his sides before he exhaled sharply, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “i was scared, y/n. i’ve been scared this whole time. scared of screwing this up, of losing you, of feeling this much and not knowing what the hell to do with it.” his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. “but losing you for real? watching you walk away just now?” his voice wavered. “that’s worse than anything i was afraid of before.”

you stared at him, your heart slamming against your ribs, your breath catching somewhere between disbelief and something dangerously close to hope.

felix loved you.

and all this time—through the confusion, the hurt, the way he made you think you were the only one feeling this way—he had lied. he had let you believe it wasn’t real. that it was one-sided. that you had been foolish to hope.

it was too much.

your chest ached, too tight, too full, and your mind swam with everything he had said—everything he hadn't said until now. your hands trembled at your sides, and you felt the sting of tears press against your eyes, but you refused to blink them away.

your voice was barely above a whisper. “say it again.”

felix’s lips parted slightly, his brows pulling together like he hadn’t expected that. because those were the exact words mabel had said to him once. 

but you weren’t mabel.

“i need to hear it again.” your voice wavered, something raw and unsteady slipping through. “because you made me think i was wrong. that i was stupid for thinking you could ever feel this way. and i believed you, felix.” your breath hitched, and you looked at him, pleading, desperate. “so say it again.”

you weren’t asking to hear it so you could tear him apart, to humiliate him, to throw it back in his face like it meant nothing.

you wanted to hear it because you cherished it. because you wanted him to know that his words weren’t wasted this time.

that showed him the difference between you two.

a slow, almost breathless smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and when he spoke, his voice was steadier than before.

“i love you,” he said again, firmer this time. like if he said it enough, it would erase all the times he didn’t. “i love you so much, and i hate that it took me this long to tell you.” his voice cracked, raw and pleading. “but if there’s even the smallest part of you that still wants this, still wants me—” he exhaled shakily. “then stay.”

your breath shuddered as the weight of his words settled deep in your chest. it was stronger now, fuller. it sounded like something he believed—like something he knew he wouldn’t regret saying. and when he saw the way you nodded, the way you practically melted against him, he knew—he had never meant anything more.

your suitcase slipped from your grip, landing on the pavement with a dull thud. neither of you cared.

you stepped forward, closing the space between you in one heartbeat, then another, until your arms wrapped tightly around him. your fingers curled into the fabric of his jacket, holding on as if you’d lose yourself if you let go. and felix—he didn’t hesitate. his arms came around you instantly, locking you against him like he had been waiting for this, terrified it wouldn’t come.

his hand slid up your back, gripping the fabric of your shirt, like he needed to feel every inch of you there, solid and real. his other hand cradled the back of your head, pressing you closer as if he could make up for every second he had spent pushing you away. his heart pounded against yours, a frantic rhythm that matched the breathless way he whispered your name.

you buried your face in his neck, breathing him in, letting the warmth of his embrace settle deep in your bones. his arms tightened around you, as if he could somehow pull you even closer, as if he needed to prove to himself that you were real, that you weren’t slipping away.

slowly, you pulled back just enough to look at him, your forehead pressing gently against his. his breath hitched. his hands slid down to cradle your waist, grounding himself in your touch. and for the first time, there was no fear in his eyes. no hesitation. just you. just this.

your fingers brushed against his jaw, tracing the way his lips parted, the way his breath mingled with yours. a soft, shaky smile played at your lips as you whispered, “oh, felix… i love you too.”

day 7 - 22:00

love is terrifying.

not in the way people talk about in books and movies, not just the fear of losing someone or the ache of longing. no, the real terror of love is in the surrender. the moment you give yourself over completely, when your heart is no longer just yours to protect. when you look at someone and realize they have the power to destroy you, to unravel you with a single word, a single choice.

and yet—you still love them.

despite the risk, despite the fear, despite the way your heart stumbles at the thought of what could go wrong, you let yourself fall. because love is also the only thing that makes the fear worth it. it is the only thing strong enough to make you stay when everything in you is screaming to run.

with felix, it felt like the easiest thing in the world.

the bathroom was quiet, save for the soft hum of the fan and the rhythmic brushing of your toothbrush against your teeth. the mirror was fogged up from the shower felix had taken before you, and the scent of his shampoo lingered in the air—clean, familiar, and grounding.

he stood beside you, shirtless, his damp hair curling at the ends. he’d already finished brushing, leaning lazily against the counter as he watched you in the mirror. without a word, he stepped behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his chin onto your shoulder. 

"i saw how nicely you made your bed this morning," he murmured, voice slow and deliberate. his lips grazed the shell of your ear, though it was casual—like he wasn’t doing anything other than speaking. "like you knew you were leaving."

you rinsed your toothbrush and set it back in the holder, rolling your eyes. "i was leaving. that was the plan, remember?"

felix hummed, his fingers slipping beneath the hem of your shirt, tracing slow, absentminded patterns against your skin. "right. but now you’re staying for one more night."

there was something knowing in his voice, something that made your stomach flutter just a little. he pressed his chest more firmly against your back, his breath warm against your neck. you met his gaze in the mirror, and his smile was soft—amused, teasing, and utterly confident.

"wouldn’t it be a shame," he continued, his fingertips dancing lightly across your sides, "to go through all that effort just to sleep in it again?"

you huffed a laugh, tilting your head slightly. "what are you saying, felix?"

he sighed like it was the most obvious thing in the world, nuzzling his nose into your shoulder. "i’m just thinking practically. why mess up two beds when we could… consolidate?"

you raised an eyebrow, trying to suppress a smile. "consolidate?"

"mm." he shifted his hands to your hips, his thumbs pressing lightly into your skin, sending a wave of warmth through you. "efficient. environmentally friendly. and, you know, convenient. since i’d probably just end up dragging you into my bed at some point in the night anyway."

you couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corners of your lips, despite trying to remain indifferent. his charm always got to you, no matter how hard you tried to pretend you weren’t affected. his teasing was contagious, and you found yourself grinning, the warmth from his hands on your hips settling deep into you.

"consolidate, huh?" you said, "sounds like a very felix solution."

he grinned in return, clearly pleased with himself. "it’s a genius solution," he teased, his voice low and coaxing as he leaned closer, the proximity of his body sending a shiver through you. "so, yes? you’ll sleep with me tonight?"

his question was soft but undeniably hopeful, the weight of it resting between you like a promise and a challenge all at once.

you met his eyes, trying to keep your tone playful but firm. "yes, but," you added, lifting a finger to emphasize your point, "this better not be a regular thing." you gave him a mock glare, your voice softening.

felix chuckled, eyes warm with something deeper than amusement. “i know,” he said, his voice gentle but certain.

you nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. it was easy to forget, sometimes, when he looked at you like that—like you were the only thing in the world worth waiting for. but you both knew where you stood, and that mattered more than fleeting temptation.

he gave you one last grin before stepping back, stretching lazily as he turned toward his bedroom. “i’ll be good. promise.”

“mm-hmm.” you narrowed your eyes at him, pretending to consider his words. “you better be.”

you watched him go, shaking your head at the small bounce in his step.

the moment felix was out of sight, you let out a slow breath, pressing your palms against the bathroom counter. the mirror was still fogged, the scent of him still lingering in the air, wrapping around you like a presence you couldn’t shake.

your fingers curled slightly against the cool surface, your pulse steadying. you should be happy. you were happy. today, felix had finally told you he loved you. soft. certain. like he meant it with every part of him.

and yet.

you swallowed, staring at your reflection—at the way your expression had shifted now that he was gone. the doubt was creeping in again, just like it always did when you were alone with your thoughts.

why had it taken him so long?

it wasn’t that you doubted his feelings. you felt them in the way he looked at you, in the way he touched you like he was memorizing every inch of your skin, in the way he always found some excuse to keep you close. but love—real love—wasn’t just in the moments that felt easy. it was in the hard ones too. and felix had waited. too long.

your mind drifted back to what chris had told you yesterday, like he wasn’t sure if he should bring it up at all. the words had stuck with you, curling into the back of your mind like a whisper you couldn’t shake.

he had mentioned her offhandedly, but the way he said her name—the way his expression darkened, the way he hesitated—made it clear that she wasn’t just an ex-girlfriend. there was something heavier there, something left unsaid.

you hadn’t asked for more. maybe because you didn’t want to know. 

but now, standing in this quiet bathroom, your mind wouldn't let it go.

what if there was something there?

you closed your eyes, inhaling slowly. you didn’t want to ruin this. you didn’t want to doubt him. you swallowed hard, your fingers twitching against the cool porcelain of the sink.

asking him outright would be the easiest thing. the right thing.

but something inside you hesitated.

felix had never given you a reason to doubt him—not really. he had always been patient, always looked at you like you were the only thing in the room worth seeing. but this? this was the one thing he hadn’t told you, the one piece of him that felt just out of reach.

you had to do something.

your hand slipped into the pocket of your pants before you could think better of it. the smooth surface of your phone pressed against your palm as you pulled it out, staring at the screen like it might give you an answer before you even asked the question.

this felt wrong.

you told yourself that immediately. you weren’t the kind of person who did this. you weren’t the kind of person who went looking for things they weren’t meant to find.

but girls did it all the time, didn’t they?

how many times had you heard the stories—friends scrolling through messages, checking followers, searching for the proof they needed before they could believe in something? and if they found nothing, wasn’t that just as much of an answer?

so why couldn’t you?

your heart pounded in your ears as you unlocked your phone, your thumb hovering over it.

instagram. felix’s account. search bar.

mabel.

and then, there she was.

mabel whitmore.

your stomach tightened as you tapped on the profile, barely breathing as her page loaded.

her account was public. and she was stunning.

the kind of stunning that made your breath catch in your throat. golden hair cascading in soft waves over tanned shoulders, sharp cheekbones, full lips, the kind of eyes that could level a person with just one glance. a total bombshell—effortless, untouchable. the kind of girl people wrote songs about.

you scrolled down, taking in the perfectly framed snapshots of her life. beaches, city lights, sunlit selfies, arms slung around groups of friends. and felix—

your thumb froze over the screen.

you almost didn’t recognize him at first—his hair was a little shorter, falling messily over his forehead, his face slightly softer with youth. he wasn’t the focus of the picture, just sitting off to the side on some worn leather couch, arm draped lazily over the backrest, a bottle dangling from his fingers. but it was him.

and she hadn’t deleted it.

you knew how these things usually went. people erased their exes like wiping fingerprints off glass. they archived the memories, pretended they had never existed, let time do the rest.

you ignored the way your stomach twisted and kept scrolling.

her most recent post caught your eye.

it wasn’t anything flashy. just a candid shot—her sitting on a picnic blanket, sunlight spilling over her, a half-empty wine glass in her hand, laughing at something outside the frame. carefree. beautiful. alive.

the timestamp at the bottom read that it was posted two years ago. she hadn’t posted since.

your brows knit together. that didn’t make sense. a girl like this, someone who lived in front of the camera, someone so effortlessly captivating—why would she just stop?

you flicked to the comments, looking for a reason. an explanation.

"miss you every day, mabel. fly high, angel."

"thinking about you always."

"not a day goes by where i don’t wish we had more time."

your breath caught in your throat.

no.

your thumb kept scrolling, scanning through comment after comment, but they all said the same thing. miss you. love you. wish you were still here.

mabel whitmore wasn’t just felix’s ex.

she was gone.

your chest felt tight, like the air had been sucked out of the room. you should stop. you should put your phone down, walk away, pretend you never saw any of this.

but you couldn’t. because now you had to know.

you swallowed hard and did the one thing you knew you shouldn’t do. you opened your web browser.

your fingers moved on their own, typing mabel whitmore into the search bar, the letters blurring together as your vision wavered. your heart pounded, your pulse echoing in your ears as you hit search.

it loaded instantly.

her name appeared at the top of the page, bold and unmistakable. but it wasn’t an article, or a social media profile, or anything remotely normal.

it was a memorial site.

your stomach dropped.

the header at the top read in loving memory: flight 417

you stared, unable to process it.

a list of names stretched down the page, each one followed by a small candle icon, flickering gently as if trying to soften the harsh reality of what they represented.

your eyes skimmed past name after name, and then—

mabel whitmore. age 16. 

the world around you seemed to tilt.

a flight. a plane crash.

your brain scrambled to catch up, trying to recall if you had ever heard about it. it must have been in the news. it must have been something people talked about. but for some reason, right now, it felt like a secret. a quiet, buried tragedy you were never meant to stumble upon.

a trembling breath left your lips.

your chest tightened as you scrolled back up, rereading the words, like maybe they would rearrange themselves and tell you a different story. but they didn’t. the truth was right there, staring back at you in flickering candlelight.

a deep breath shuddered through you, but it did nothing to settle the nausea curling in your stomach. you felt dizzy, like you’d stepped off the edge of something without realizing it.

your fingers clenched around your phone, your breath shallow and uneven.

sixteen.

she was only sixteen.

your mind reeled, the pieces snapping together too fast for you to hold onto them. 

mabel whitmore had never broken up with felix. she had been taken. just gone, ripped from the world like a page torn from a book, leaving only silence where she should have been.

and felix—

oh, god.

felix.

you had completely forgotten where you were.

the bathroom was too quiet, the soft hum of the fan the only thing keeping you tethered to the present. your reflection in the mirror looked different now—your skin paler, your eyes too wide, your lips parted like you were about to say something but couldn’t find the words.

felix was out there.

just a few steps away, waiting in his bedroom, probably sprawled across the sheets like he always did, looking at his phone or staring at the ceiling, lost in some thought he’d never say out loud. he was waiting for you.

but you couldn’t go back.

because how could you look him in the eye now, knowing what you knew? knowing that you had dug into his past like it was some puzzle to be solved instead of a wound that had never fully healed? he would hate you. he would think you were awful. nosy. invasive.

and maybe he’d be right.

you squeezed your eyes shut, gripping the edge of the sink.

you weren’t supposed to know this.

you weren’t supposed to find this.

but now, you couldn’t forget it. you couldn’t erase it, couldn’t pretend you hadn’t seen her name on that list, hadn’t read the comments, hadn’t imagined what it must have been like for felix to wake up in a world without her in it.

a deep breath shuddered through you.

you couldn’t even begin to imagine that kind of pain.

you glanced at the door.

you had to go back out there. you couldn’t hide in the bathroom forever. but for the first time, being near felix felt terrifying. 

you shoved your phone deep into your pocket like that could somehow bury everything you had just uncovered. screw it. you turned off the bathroom light and stepped out into the dimly lit hallway, your heartbeat still uneven, your breath still not quite steady.

felix’s bedroom door was open.

and there he was.

he was lying back against the headboard, one arm folded behind his head, the other resting lazily across his stomach. his shirt had ridden up just slightly, exposing a sliver of skin, and his legs were sprawled comfortably like he owned the space.

the soft glow of the bedside lamp cast warm shadows over his face, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw, the curve of his lips.

felix turned his head at the sound of you stepping inside, his eyes finding yours instantly. smiling like seeing you was the best part of his night.

“hi,” he said, voice warm.

you hesitated for just a second, but then you forced yourself to move, to push away the whirlwind of thoughts still spinning in your mind. you had to—at least for now.

felix's smile softened as he lifted a hand, beckoning you closer with a slow, lazy gesture. "come here, baby," he murmured, his voice low and coaxing. the way he said it—so easy, so sure—sent warmth curling through your chest, unraveling you before you even reached the bed.

you exhaled, pressing a small smile to your lips as you crossed the room. you couldn’t let him see the weight of what you had just learned—not yet. not when you didn’t even know what to do with it yourself.

when you reached the edge of the bed, felix reached for you. his fingers brushed against your wrist first, then slipped up to your elbow, tugging you forward. you let yourself go, let yourself sink into the space beside him, the mattress dipping beneath your weight.

he shifted, looping an arm around your waist and pulling you flush against his side. "much better," he sighed, content. his hand found the small of your back, tracing slow, lazy circles against the fabric of your shirt, grounding you in the warmth of him.

your feet brushed against his legs, ice-cold against his skin, and he tensed for a second before letting out a dramatic groan.

“you’re so cold,” he grumbled, which made you chuckle.

felix huffed a laugh, but then he did something that made your heart stutter. he reached down, wrapping his fingers around your ankle, and pulled your leg over his, tangling them together under the blankets. his palm smoothed up the back of your thigh, rubbing slow, lazy circles into your skin.

"there," he murmured, his lips brushing your temple. "i'll warm you up."

your stomach flipped.

he wasn’t even trying. that was the worst part. felix had this effortless way of touching you, of making you feel wanted without even thinking about it. like it was second nature. like it had always been this easy for him.

and then—like he could still sense the tension in you, the hesitation you hadn’t quite managed to shake—he pulled back just enough to tilt his head and look at you.

his eyes were soft in the dim light, his expression open in that way that always made it impossible to hide from him. his fingers found your jaw, tracing the line of it with the lightest touch before tilting your chin up so you had no choice but to meet his gaze.

"hey," he said, his voice quieter now, steadier. "what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?"

you swallowed hard. "nothing," you lied.

felix studied you for a moment, his thumb brushing absently over the corner of your mouth, like he was committing the feel of you to memory. then, with an infuriatingly knowing look, he murmured, "liar."

your breath caught.

there were those questions lingering at the back of your mind, but you decided they could wait. for now, it was enough to be here, wrapped in his warmth, his fingers tracing over your skin like you were something precious.

"i couldn't be better, felix," you murmured.

his brows lifted slightly, like he was trying to decide if he believed you. but then his lips curled into a smile, and whatever hesitation had been there melted away.

"good," he whispered, his voice all honey and warmth.

and then, just as effortlessly, like it was the most natural thing in the world, he said, "i love you."

you swallowed around the warmth rising in your throat, your heart pounding against your ribs.

"i love you too."

the words had barely left your lips before felix was kissing you. a soft, almost relieved sigh slipped from him, like he had been waiting to hear you say it, like those words had settled something deep inside him.

his lips moved against yours with a slow, deliberate sweetness at first—like he was savoring the moment, letting it sink into his bones. his fingers curled at the nape of your neck, keeping you close, tilting your head just the way he wanted.

when he deepened it, the shift was subtle, but you felt it. the way his hand tightened against your back, pulling you flush against him. the way his fingers slid into your hair, his grip just firm enough to make you shiver.

your hands found his shoulders, sliding up to tangle in the fabric of his shirt as he kissed you deeper, his lips parting against yours, his tongue teasing at the seam of your mouth. heat pooled low in your stomach, making your head spin.

you kissed him back without thinking, without hesitation, matching the slow, desperate rhythm he set. each press of his lips was intoxicating, like he was drinking you in, like he had no plans of letting you go anytime soon.

his fingers traced your spine, dipping beneath the hem of your shirt, brushing over bare skin. the warmth of his touch sent a shiver rippling through you, a soft gasp slipping from your lips.

his hand splayed across your waist now, his palm broad and warm as he smoothed over your skin, his touch deliberate but unhurried. it was different tonight—he was different. softer in some ways, more certain in others. like something had settled between you after yesterday morning, after the way you'd lost yourselves in each other, tangled up in sheets and heat and need.

and now, that need was creeping in again, simmering just beneath the surface.

felix shifted slightly, the movement subtle, but you felt it—the press of him, firm against your thigh, unmistakable. your breath hitched, your fingers tightening in the fabric of his shirt, and for a second, neither of you moved. the moment stretched, heavy with something unspoken, something thick in the air between you.

his lips lingered against yours, barely a breath away, his forehead brushing against you. and then, as if he knew exactly what you were thinking, exactly what you were feeling, his fingers tightened against your waist.

"feel that?" he murmured, his voice lower now, rougher.

your pulse pounded. you nodded, not trusting your voice.

felix's fingers flexed against your waist, his touch grounding, steady—but your heart was anything but.

normally, you’d want this. you’d want him. you’d be pulling him closer, melting into him, aching for more. but tonight, it felt different. wrong.

not because of him.

because of what you’d learned.

the weight of it pressed into your chest, stealing the breath from your lungs, making the warmth between you feel like something you weren’t sure you were allowed to have. his ex-girlfriend was dead. and you didn’t know what that meant, not really, but it sat heavy in your stomach, twisting and knotting, making everything else feel distant.

felix kissed you again, softer this time, coaxing, like he could sense the shift in you. his thumb traced slow circles against your ribs, patient, unhurried. "hey," he murmured, pulling back just enough to look at you. his eyes searched yours, their usual warmth still there, but now there was something else, too—concern.

"you okay?"

you swallowed, trying to find words, but your throat felt too tight. you weren’t okay. you weren’t sure how to be.

felix’s hand moved to your cheek, cradling it gently, his thumb brushing over your skin. "talk to me, baby," he coaxed, his voice so soft, so careful, like he already knew something was wrong. "what’s going on?"

your chest ached. you wanted to tell him. you didn’t want to tell him.

because once you did, it would be real.

and you weren’t ready for real. not yet.

felix’s brows knit together, the warmth in his eyes shifting into something deeper, something worried. you tried to blink back the sting in your eyes, but it was useless—the guilt was pressing down too hard, too fast, and before you could stop it, your vision blurred.

his thumb brushed over your cheek again, softer this time, like he was afraid you might break. "baby," he murmured, barely above a whisper. "did i—" he hesitated, his throat working around the words, his fingers flexing against your waist. "did i make you uncomfortable?"

you shook your head quickly, but the movement made the lump in your throat tighten, and then—

the first sob broke free.

felix inhaled sharply, his grip on you loosening, like he was afraid of holding on too tight. "shit," he whispered, his other hand coming up, hovering just over your arm, like he wasn’t sure if he should touch you. "hey, hey, it’s okay—just tell me what’s wrong. i—" he swallowed hard, his voice going unsteady. "do you want me to leave? i can take the couch. you can stay here, and if you don’t want this, if this feels wrong, i’ll—" his voice cracked slightly. "i’ll do anything. just tell me what you need."

you shook your head again, harder this time, and before he could pull away any further, you reached for him, your arms wrapping around him tight, desperate.

"no," you choked out, pressing your face against his shoulder. "it’s not that. it’s not you."

felix went still for half a second, like he was trying to understand—but then, without hesitation, his arms came around you. he held you close, pressing his cheek against the top of your head, his breath uneven as he tried to steady you, or maybe himself.

your fingers curled into the back of his shirt, clinging to him, like you could hold onto him tight enough to keep the guilt from swallowing you whole. "i’m sorry," you whispered, voice breaking.

felix exhaled slowly, his hands smoothing over your back, grounding. "for what?" he asked, voice careful, like he didn’t want to push too hard. "talk to me, baby."

you just shook your head, burying yourself against him, unable to find the words.

felix didn’t press. he just held you tighter, rubbing slow, soothing circles over your spine, letting you break apart in his arms, even though you knew he didn’t understand why.

even though you weren’t sure how to tell him.

felix’s arms tightened around you, as if he was anchoring you to him, trying to keep you from slipping away into the storm of thoughts you couldn’t escape. his voice was a soft murmur against your ear, the words tentative but filled with care. "do you want to stay here?"

you nodded against him, your breath shaky, the tears still hot on your cheeks. the question wasn’t a surprise—it felt like he knew you, like he understood without needing you to say the words.

his hand smoothed through your hair, gentle, almost reverent. "it’s okay," he whispered. "you can tell me about it tomorrow. just... breathe."

you squeezed your eyes shut, the sound of his voice a lifeline, grounding you in the moment, pulling you back from the edge. "i’m so sorry," you said again, almost in a whisper, your voice thick with the weight of everything you couldn’t explain.

felix shushed you softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "it’s okay," he repeated, his voice low and soothing, the words a balm for the mess of emotions you didn’t know how to deal with. "you don’t have to apologize. i’m here."

his fingers traced along your spine, slow and steady, as if giving you the space to breathe, to feel what you needed to feel. there was no pressure, no rush—just him, holding you, letting you break if you had to.

felix exhaled softly, his hand moving in slow circles over your back as you rested against him. "it’s okay," he said once more, his tone gentle, reassuring. "we’ll be okay."

and for the first time that night, you believed it.

[pixiefelixie]

it’s not even funny

remember this summer is actively healing me from my traumatic first love

please please PLEASE keep writing you are so incredibly at it 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

aww tysm you have no idea how much this means to me im so happy for you 💕💕

[pixiefelixie]

loreli | 18 | she/her

about me (coming soon). masterlist. requests open!!

[pixiefelixie]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ pixiefelixie's masterlist

index: fluff (f), angst (a), suggestive (s), drabble (d), headcannon (h)

ot8

coffee and charm (f, s)

chan

home, sweet, home (d, f)

lee know

peach to my mario (f)

soft hours (f)

changbin

coming soon~

hyunjin

coming soon~

han

coming soon~

felix

remember this summer (series, a, f, s (see link for details))

untitled (f, d)

hurt people hurt people (a, f)

seungmin

my valentine (a, f)

remake? (f)

jeongin

i wanna show you off (a, f, s)

college dirtbags (f, s)

[pixiefelixie]

#he is insufferable I need him #bang chan fic

counterpoint chemistry...

...the one where you and chan turn a debate into a flirting match

you’re in the middle of a very serious academic debate.

or at least, it was serious before bang chan decided to turn it into his own personal rom-com.

"automation is creating a dangerous overreliance on technology," you argue, voice steady, eyes locked on your actual opponent and not on the annoyingly attractive man smirking at you from across the room. "people are losing problem-solving skills, critical thinking, basic human interaction-"

"basic human interaction?" chan interrupts, tilting his head. "you and i seem to be interacting just fine."

your jaw tightens. "academically, bahng. stay on topic."

"i am on topic," he counters, leaning slightly on his podium. "your whole argument is about losing human connection, but here we are, connecting. seems a little counterintuitive, don’t you think?"

his teammates snicker. your teammate visibly facepalms. the moderator sighs deeply, as if regretting every decision that led to this moment.

you take a steady breath. "you're missing the point. this isn't what the motion is about."

"or maybe," he says, tapping his fingers, long and slender and adorning a simple bracelet, against the podium, "you just don’t like that i have a point."

your eyes narrow. "oh, please. the only point you have is the one you’re trying to make about yourself."

he grins. "if you think i’m that self-absorbed, why do you pay so much attention to me?"

"i don’t."

"really?" he raises a brow. "because every time i talk, your eyes go straight to me."

"that’s called participating in a debate, bang. gets me the point you lose every time you're being stupid."

"that’s called being interested," he fires back.

you clench your jaw. "in proving you wrong."

he chuckles under his breath, shaking his head. "you’re fun when you’re all riled up."

"and you’re turning this debate far too personal," you mutter, flipping through your notes. "if i wanted to waste my time, i’d debate a brick wall."

"but a brick wall wouldn’t flirt back," he quips, eyes twinkling.

"oh, so you admit this is flirting?" you shoot back, raising a brow, a slight smirk adorning your lips. you got him.

his grin falters for a second, no, half a second too long. "wait. no, that’s not-"

"moderator," you say smoothly, turning away from him, "i'd like to formally request that my opponent get deducted points for flirting instead of debating."

the moderator looks exhausted. "if i start deducting points for flirting, we'll be here all night."

"can we please be here all night," chan mutters under his breath.

you turn to glare at him. "i heard that."

he smirks, completely unapologetic. "good."

your teammate groans. "can we please just finish this debate before one of you confesses?"

"i'm waiting on them," chan says, nudging his chin toward you.

"in your bloody dreams," you fire back.

his smirk softens, just slightly, in a way that makes your heart stumble over itself.

"you have no idea."

[pixiefelixie]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ MY VALENTINE KIM SEUNGMIN

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ synopsis your 17-year-old dog, who had survived chocolate poisoning, a bicycle accident, and a raccoon fight, finally passed away peacefully—proving that even the most legendary warriors must one day retire. in your grief, you completely fell apart, only to realize your usually sarcastic boyfriend might actually be capable of being soft and supportive—something even more shocking than your dog’s immortality finally running out.

pairings: menace!seungmin x menace!reader warnings: death of a pet, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, seungmin is a sweetheart i need a seungmin for valentines day thank you very much, they're in love your honour

before seungmin was your boyfriend, he was your best friend. there was no messy talking stage, no drawn-out situationship—just years of friendship that seamlessly shifted into something more. it happened on prom night, after one unexpectedly deep conversation that peeled back layers neither of you had ever touched before. from that moment on, everything changed.

your friends had seen it coming long before you did. they used to roll their eyes and exchange knowing glances whenever you and seungmin bickered, convinced that it was only a matter of time before one of you caved. it wasn’t hard to see why. your friendship with seungmin was filled with smacking, bullying, and calling each other mean names. naturally, that dynamic carried over into your relationship as well. 

but sometimes, you wondered if seungmin ever really took you seriously. saying serious things—things that mattered—never came easy for either of you. the words always got tangled in sarcasm, deflected by jokes. even kissing was often a game, a teasing challenge where he’d lean in just to pull away at the last second, smirking as you huffed in frustration. it wasn’t that he didn’t care. it wasn’t that you didn’t care. it was just easier to dance around the depth of your feelings than to dive straight in.

one evening, after seungmin had spent nearly an hour tormenting you with relentless tickles, leaving you breathless from laughter and weak from squirming, you huffed in exasperation.

“why do you always have to be such a menace?” you asked, still catching your breath.

he grinned, eyes crinkling at the corners as he leaned back. “because i only act like this with you.” his voice was quieter now, softer, like a secret he was finally ready to share. “you’re special to me.”

for once, you didn’t have a comeback.

the city lights blurred outside the bus window, distorted by the tears welling in your eyes. you blinked rapidly, willing them away, but the tightness in your throat only grew stronger. with every stop, every jerk of the bus, your composure cracked a little more. you clenched your jaw, staring hard at your reflection in the dark glass. just a little longer. just until you got home.

finally, your stop came. you shuffled off the bus, stepping into the cool night air. the walk to your apartment felt longer than usual, each step heavier than the last. your breaths were shallow, uneven, as you swallowed back the lump in your throat. the world around you moved as if nothing had changed—cars rushing by, a couple laughing in the distance, a stray cat darting across the sidewalk—but inside, you were unraveling.

by the time you reached your door, your hands were trembling. you fumbled with the keys, cursing under your breath when they slipped from your fingers. picking them up, you took a shaky inhale and forced yourself to steady your grip. just get inside.

the lock clicked. the door swung open. and the moment it shut behind you, the weight of it all crashed down.

a broken sob slipped from your lips before you could stop it. your legs gave out, and you sank to the floor, pressing your back against the door. tears spilled over, hot and relentless, as you buried your face in your knees. your shoulders shook with every quiet sob, the sound muffled in the empty apartment.

you had held it together for so long. but now, there was no one to see. no one to hear.

you had known this day would come. you had prepared yourself for it—at least, you thought you had. but no amount of knowing could have made it hurt any less.

seventeen years. that was how long he had been by your side. longer than some of your friendships, longer than any relationship you'd ever had. he had been there for every scraped knee, every heartbreak, every lonely night you spent crying into his fur. you had practically grown up with him—your childhood, your teenage years.

he was ancient. seventeen, as a reminder. practically immortal by dog standards. he had outlived all expectations, defied every vet’s cautious prognosis. he was ancient, crusty, and had the worst breath imaginable—like a mix of old socks and something you didn’t even want to identify. his teeth were a disaster, barely hanging on in his later years, and he had been blind in one eye for the past three birthdays. and yet, somehow, he had powered through everything.

there had been that one time he ate an entire bag of chocolate chips when he was seven and walked it off like it was nothing. then, at twelve, he somehow got hit by a bicycle and bounced back as if he had merely tripped. at fourteen, he got into a fight with a raccoon over a slice of pizza (and won). he had survived stomach bugs, a tumble down the stairs, and countless other incidents that should have been his undoing. but no—he had refused to go out in some dramatic, action-packed way. 

instead, he had peacefully fallen asleep like the stubborn little shit he was.

he was gone.

you let out a shaky breath, a tear-streaked chuckle slipping past your lips. of course, that’s how he would go. no theatrics, no grand exit. just quietly, in his sleep.

it wasn’t fair, though. he had survived so much—how was he not invincible?

you wiped at your face, but the tears kept coming. you had always known this day would come, but losing him felt like losing a piece of your childhood. 

you hadn’t been there for his last moments. that was what made it worse.

moving out for university had meant leaving him behind, but at the time, it hadn’t felt like a real goodbye. it never even crossed your mind that one day, you’d walk out that door and never see him again. it was impossible to imagine a world where he wasn’t waiting by the door when you came home, tail thumping lazily against the floor, his cloudy old-man eyes lighting up at the sound of your voice.

but time had finally caught up with him, and instead of being there to hold him one last time, instead of pressing your forehead to his like you always did, whispering, you stink, you had gotten the news over the phone.

you hadn’t heard the footsteps. hadn’t noticed the faint creak of the floorboards or the quiet rustle of movement in the room. you had been too lost in your own wreckage, sobs wracking your body as you sat crumpled against the door, drowning in the weight of it all.

but then—something made you look up.

seungmin was standing there, just a few feet away. his eyes were wide, his expression frozen somewhere between confusion and alarm. his lips were parted slightly, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t figure out where to start.

you hadn’t expected him to be here. but of course, he had a spare key. and from the way he was standing there, it was obvious—he had been in the apartment the whole time, long before you walked through the door and completely fell apart.

the realization sent a fresh wave of humiliation crashing over you. you weren’t sure how much he had seen, but judging by the way he was looking at you—like he was seeing you for the first time—you knew it was enough.

seungmin had never seen you like this before.

he had seen you annoyed, frustrated, even stressed to the point of snapping. but never this. never crumpled and shaking on the floor, barely able to catch your breath between sobs. never so completely wrecked that you couldn’t even find it in yourself to throw out a sarcastic remark or tell him to get lost.

and you knew what was about to come.

like the absolute asshole he was, he was going to crack a joke. probably something about how ugly you looked when you cried, or how your face was so red it could stop traffic. any second now, he was going to open his mouth and say the exact wrong thing, because that was just who he was. that was how he dealt with anything remotely emotional—sarcasm first, actual feelings second.

you almost wished he wasn’t there. right now, you had nothing in you to deal with a seungmin-style remark. not today. not when everything already felt like too much.

you squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself, but nothing came.

no snarky comment. no teasing jab.

but instead, seungmin walked over to you and he sank to the floor.

he didn’t fidget, didn’t sigh like he was uncomfortable. he just sat there, his body close but not overwhelming, his presence solid and steady. his eyes never left you, his usual sharp, mischievous gaze replaced with something softer, something that made your throat tighten even more.

another sob tore through you, and you curled in on yourself, burying your face in your knees. you felt exposed, raw in a way you had never been before. you weren’t used to this—falling apart in front of someone, letting yourself be seen like this. and seungmin… he wasn’t used to it either.

to him, you were always either a ray of sunshine or a little menace who pinched his cheeks just to annoy him. you were the one who smacked his arm when he teased you, who gave as good as you got. but now? now you were shaking, struggling to catch your breath between broken sobs, completely undone in a way he had never witnessed before.

seungmin hesitated for only a second before reaching out, his hand barely brushing against your back at first—like he was testing the waters, making sure you wouldn’t flinch away. when you didn’t, his touch grew firmer, his palm pressing against the fabric of your shirt as he slowly rubbed circles between your shoulder blades.

your sobs didn’t stop right away. they came in waves—some stronger, some weaker, but always there, shaking through you, making it impossible to catch a steady breath. you tried to quiet them, tried to swallow them down, but your body refused to cooperate.

at some point, you lifted your head, your cheeks damp, your lashes clumped together from tears. seungmin’s hand stilled, but he didn’t pull away.

and then—his eyes met yours.

there was no teasing glint, no smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. just seungmin, staring at you like he was seeing every crack, every broken piece, and accepting them without hesitation.

he didn’t say anything. he didn’t need to.

instead, he gave you the smallest smile—soft, quiet, a silent i’m here.

seungmin let out a slow breath, his fingers pressing just a little firmer against your back, grounding you. his other hand hovered for a second before he reached up, brushing his knuckles gently against your cheek. his touch was warm, deliberate—like he was trying to memorize the shape of you, trying to let you know in the only way he could that you weren’t alone in this.

“you know,” he murmured, his voice quiet but steady, “boyfriends are supposed to help with things like this.”

you blinked at him, your chest still rising and falling unevenly, your throat tight.

“this whole… carrying everything by yourself thing?” he shook his head slightly, his thumb smoothing over your cheekbone. “yeah, i’m not letting you do that.”

your lip trembled.

as if reading your mind, seungmin exhaled, his thumb brushing against your cheek again, slower this time. “you’re allowed to let me be here for you. you know that, right?”

something in you cracked at that.

a fresh wave of tears welled up, and seungmin didn’t even flinch. he just shifted closer, his hand finding yours, threading his fingers through yours, squeezing lightly.

“i’m not going anywhere,” he promised. “so cry, tell me to shut up—whatever you need. but don’t shut me out.”

seungmin’s fingers tightened around yours, firm but careful, like he was anchoring you to him without holding on too tight. his eyes never left your face, searching, waiting—until finally, he spoke again.

“come here?”

it wasn’t a command. it wasn’t even a suggestion. just a question, soft and open, giving you the choice.

your breath hitched.

you weren’t used to this. him, like this. and maybe that was what made your throat tighten even more.

you nodded, barely a movement, barely a breath. but it was all he needed.

seungmin let go of your hand only to wrap his arms around you, pulling you in like it was second nature. you barely had time to react before your face was pressed against his shoulder, the warmth of his hoodie soft against your cheek. his arms settled around your back, firm and unyielding, his fingers curling against the fabric of your shirt.

your hands hovered for a second before you clutched at the fabric of his hoodie, gripping tightly, your body still shaking with uneven breaths. seungmin only held you closer, his chin resting lightly against the top of your head.

seungmin didn’t say anything for a long time. he just held you, his fingers tracing absentminded circles against your back, like he was letting you take your time, like he wasn’t in any rush to hear whatever was weighing you down.

but eventually, he shifted slightly, just enough to glance down at you. his voice was quieter now, softer, like he was trying not to break whatever fragile thread was holding you together.

“do you… wanna tell me what happened?”

your throat was tight with the weight of it, and when you swallowed, it felt like trying to force down something solid. you wanted to tell him. you had to tell him. but how were you supposed to say it? how were you supposed to explain why you had completely fallen apart, why your entire body had given out the second you walked through that door?

your heart pounded, your throat burned, and for a moment, you considered lying. saying it was stress, a fight with a friend, anything that made more sense than the truth. you were afraid that he would find it stupid that you were sobbing over your dog who was always on the brink of death.

but you couldn’t keep it in.

your vision blurred again, fresh tears rising as you forced yourself to swallow the lump in your throat.

“my mom called,” you said, barely above a whisper. “after my lecture.”

seungmin said nothing, but you could feel the way his grip on you tightened ever so slightly. he was listening. he was bracing. his jaw tensed. you could see it, the quiet dread settling behind his eyes.

and then, with everything in you screaming to keep it in, you let it out.

“my dog.”

two words. that was all you could get out.

but seungmin understood right away.

his breath hitched—so slight, so subtle, but you caught it. his fingers stopped moving against your back, and when he blinked, it was slow, like the weight of what you had just said was pressing into him, too.

“oh.” his voice was quieter now. 

you knew what he was thinking.

this was stupid. it was just a dog. people lost pets all the time. you weren’t supposed to cry like this, to feel like something inside you had been ripped away.

frustration bubbled up through the grief, your throat tightening even more. you pulled back slightly, your fingers curling into the fabric of his sleeve as you forced out, “i know it’s dumb.” your voice was thick, shaking. “but i grew up with him, seungmin. what am i supposed to do—just smile and move on?”

his brows furrowed instantly. “no—”

“i mean, it’s just a dog, right?” you let out a bitter, shaky laugh, but it barely even sounded like you. “that’s what you think. that i’m being dramatic, that it shouldn’t hurt this bad—”

“no, no, no—what?” his hands tightened around yours, his voice firm now, almost urgent. “y/n, don’t even—”

you froze.

his expression had shifted completely—no teasing, no softness diluted by hesitation. just pure, unwavering certainty.

“you have every right to feel like this,” he said, his voice steady, his grip grounding. “this isn’t stupid. you aren’t stupid.” his brows pulled together slightly, and for a second, he looked almost upset—not at you, but for you. “you loved him. of course it hurts.”

your breath hitched.

seungmin was looking at you like your grief mattered, like it was valid.

you didn’t know what to do with that.

a fresh wave of emotion crashed over you, tangled and overwhelming, pressing into your ribs until you could barely breathe. your fingers curled against his wrist, gripping onto him like he was the only thing keeping you from unraveling completely.

“i don’t know, seungmin,” you whispered, your voice barely holding together. “i just—” your throat tightened. “i don’t know.”

his face softened, but he didn’t rush to fill the silence. he just waited, his presence steady, unwavering.

your chest ached. everything ached.

your next breath came out shakier than the last. “i’m sorry,” you murmured, your voice breaking. “i—”

“hey.” his hands shifted, firm but gentle, like he could hold you together if he just held on tight enough. “none of that.”

you swallowed hard, but the lump in your throat refused to go away.

“don’t be sorry,” he said, quieter this time.

you sniffled, shaking your head as you wiped at your face with the sleeve of his hoodie. “i don’t even know why i’m crying so much,” you mumbled, voice thick and uneven. “it’s just—he was so old, you know? like, ancient. i should’ve been ready for this.”

seungmin didn’t say anything right away. he just watched you, his expression unreadable but steady.

“i mean, seventeen years? that’s… that’s insane for a dog,” you continued, half-laughing through your tears. “he was supposed to go out dramatically—choking on something stupid or picking a fight with another raccoon, not just…” your breath hitched. “not just fall asleep and never wake up.”

“i used to joke about this all the time.” you sniffled, rubbing at your nose. “like, literally all the time. i’d always say ‘on my dog’s life’ like it wasn’t a big deal, and now—” your voice wavered, and you took a shaky breath. “now i can’t say that anymore.”

seungmin exhaled sharply and nodded. “yeah. you did say that a lot.”

you groaned, leaning back against the door and covering your face with your hands. “god, that’s so messed up.” you exhaled sharply, rubbing your temples. “i don’t know, seungmin. i don’t even know why i’m crying this much. i really really knew this was coming.”

seungmin tilted his head slightly, his eyes scanning your face like he was trying to read between the lines. “so what?”

you blinked at him. “what?”

“so what if you knew it was coming?” he shrugged, shifting so that he was leaning a little closer. “that doesn’t mean it’s supposed to hurt any less.”

you let out another wobbly breath, staring down at your hands. your fingers still trembled slightly, the weight of everything pressing down on your chest.

seungmin sighed and reached out, hesitating for just a second before tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “you don’t have to justify why you’re sad,” he said quietly. “you loved him. of course this sucks.”

you swallowed, your throat tight again. “yeah, but it’s not like he was—” you paused, exhaling. “it’s not like he was a person.”

seungmin’s lips pressed together, and for a second, he just looked at you. then, shaking his head slightly, he said, “so what?”

you huffed. “you keep saying that.”

“because you keep acting like you need a reason to be upset.” he gave you a pointed look. “you don’t. he was family. that’s all the reason you need.”

your breath caught.

family.

you hadn’t said it yourself, but hearing seungmin say it so plainly—like it wasn’t even up for debate—made your chest ache even more.

you bit your lip, trying to swallow down the lump in your throat, but it was useless. your vision blurred again, and before you could stop yourself, you were crying all over again.

“gosh, i hate this,” you choked out, your voice barely above a whisper. “i hate crying this much.”

seungmin exhaled through his nose, then—before you could react—he reached out and flicked your forehead.

you yelped, your hands flying up to rub the spot where he’d hit you. “ow! what the hell, seungmin?”

he just raised an eyebrow at you. “you hate crying, but you’re crying anyway. so what’s the point of hating it?”

you glared at him through your tears. “what kind of messed-up logic is that?”

“the kind that makes you stop talking nonsense.” he leaned back against the wall, stretching his arms behind his head. “look, if you’re gonna cry, then cry. don’t fight it.”

you sniffled, pouting. “easy for you to say. you don’t cry.”

seungmin scoffed. “that’s not true. you think just ‘cause i’m a boy, i don’t cry?” he shot you a fake offended look, crossing his arms. “that’s kinda sexist, don’t you think?”

you rolled your eyes, sniffling. “no, that’s not i meant. you’re just… seungmin. that’s why”

seungmin tilted his head, lips pressing together. for a moment, he didn’t say anything, just stared at you with an expression you couldn’t quite place. “well, i’ll tell you right now… looking at you like this is making me kinda—”

but he stopped.

your breath hitched. “what?”

“nothing.”

“seungmin.”

“drop it.” he huffed, looking away so fast it was almost comical.

and that’s when you saw it—the telltale redness creeping up his ears, the way his eyes looked just a little too glossy, like he was barely holding it together.

your mouth parted slightly. “wait, seriously?”

seungmin exhaled sharply through his nose. “don’t push it.”

but you weren’t even teasing anymore. you just stared at him, chest tightening, because somehow, knowing that he was feeling this with you—that this was hurting him, too—made the grief just a little more bearable.

you exhaled softly, the last of your resistance slipping away as you leaned against him, your head resting against his shoulder. seungmin didn’t move at first, but then—slowly, almost hesitantly—he turned back to look at you.

for a moment, neither of you spoke. you just sat there, breathing, the weight of everything settling between you. then, without a word, he shifted slightly and rested his head against yours, his warmth pressing into you in a way that made your throat tighten all over again.

you felt him move, just barely, and when you glanced up, you caught the way he wiped at his eye with the sleeve of his hoodie—like he was trying to be discreet about it. like he wasn’t supposed to be feeling this much either.

the realization hit you all at once: you and seungmin, two of the world’s most unserious people, were sitting here—silent, exhausted, crying into each other.

and somehow… it didn’t feel sad. at least, not just sad.

it felt real.

it felt like something deeper than grief, something bigger than just missing your dog.

it felt like you weren’t alone.

"please never leave me," you whispered, your voice barely a thread, fragile, like you're afraid if you speak too loudly it might shatter something between you two.

he tilted his head, his expression gentle, but there’s an edge of confusion in his eyes. “why would you ever think i’d leave you?” he asked, his voice calm and steady.

but you couldn’t stop the words that rush out next. they spilled from you in a torrent, raw and vulnerable, as if you were confessing something you’ve been holding inside for too long. "it’s only a matter of time before you die too. everyone is going to leave. i don’t want—” your voice cracked. “i don’t want anyone to leave.”

seungmin didn’t say anything. his silence wasn’t empty—it was heavy, filled with something unspoken, something that lingered between you like the last notes of a song fading into quiet.

“can i just… go first? like—die.”

seungmin stilled beside you. his head turned, his gaze sharp, his expression unreadable. for a second, he didn’t say anything—just studied you, like he was trying to figure out if you were joking.

then, he scoffed. “no.”

you blinked, startled by how immediate and certain he sounded. “what do you mean, ‘no’?”

“i mean no. that’s dumb. don’t say stuff like that.”

your chest tightened, and your fingers curled harder into the fabric of your sleeves. “but i wouldn’t be able to handle it if i didn’t,” you murmured. “if i had to be the one left behind. i just—” you took a shaky breath. “i don’t want to be the one who has to keep going without everyone else.”

seungmin’s jaw tensed, and for a moment, he didn’t respond. he just sat there, letting your words settle in the quiet between you.

then, with a sigh, he leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “do you think i would?” he asked, his voice low but firm.

you hesitated. “…what?”

he turned his head slightly, glancing at you. “do you think i’d be fine if you went first?”

the question caught you off guard. you stared at him, struggling to process the idea, the weight of it pressing against your ribs.

seungmin let out a soft, humorless laugh. “you’re not special, you know.” his voice wasn’t harsh, but there was something sharp underneath it. “you think you’re the only one who’d be wrecked? you think i’d just—what, move on?”

your breath caught.

“don’t be stupid,” he muttered, shaking his head. “i’d be pissed. and sad. and probably really, really pissed at everyone around me.” he huffed. “so no, you can’t go first. because i don’t want to deal with that.”

you stared at him, your throat tight. “seungmin—”

“too bad,” he interrupted, like that was the end of the discussion. then, softer, “you’re not leaving me either.”

you let out a small, breathy laugh against his hoodie. “god,” you mumbled, voice still thick with the remnants of your crying. “how are you so bad at comforting, ” you sniffled, shifting slightly against him. “but… somehow, i feel better anyway.”

there was a beat of silence before you felt his chest rise with a quiet sigh. “sounds like a you problem.”

your lips parted in disbelief. “are you serious right now?”

he hummed, completely unfazed. “you’ve just got bad taste in comfort.”

you pulled back slightly, just enough to glare up at him. “that’s not a thing, you ass.”

he raised an eyebrow. “then explain why you’re still clinging to me.”

your face heated, but you refused to let him win. “because i need it. and you just—” you swallowed, your fingers tightening slightly around the fabric of his hoodie. “happen to be here.”

you exhaled softly and, without thinking, slumped forward, resting your head against seungmin’s chest. his hoodie was warm, the fabric slightly worn, and beneath it, you could hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in. his chin rested lightly on top of your head, and his hand found the small of your back.

seungmin blinked at you, then—without warning—let out a quiet laugh. it wasn’t mocking, not really, just a small, breathy chuckle. “why are we like this?” he asked, shaking his head slightly, amusement flickering in his eyes.

you frowned. “like what?”

“like…” he gestured vaguely between the two of you. “this. one second, we’re crying, and the next, you’re calling me an ass. it’s weird.”

you huffed. “it’s not weird.”

seungmin gave you a pointed look.

“…okay, maybe a little,” you admitted, sniffling. “but i don’t know. it just works.” you hesitated for a moment, your fingers still curled into the fabric of his hoodie. then, softer this time, you murmured, “and i don’t want that to change.”

seungmin stilled slightly, his head tilting just enough for him to look down at you. his expression wasn’t teasing anymore—just calm, steady. “it won’t.” then, without any hesitation, seungmin added, “as long as you know i love you.”

your breath caught, warmth spreading through your chest. you looked up at him, surprised but not really, because of course he’d say it like that—so casual, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

and maybe it was.

you exhaled softly smiling slightly, then leaned up just enough to bump your forehead lightly against his. “i love you too.”

then, before you could process it, he leaned in and kissed you.

it wasn’t rushed or urgent—just slow, steady, like he had all the time in the world. like this was something he’d thought about before but never quite let himself do until now. his hand found your cheek, fingers warm against your skin, tilting your face just enough to deepen the kiss.

you melted into him without thinking, your hands gripping the front of his hoodie to keep yourself grounded. the warmth of him, the quiet steadiness of the moment—it made your chest ache.

when he finally pulled back, just enough to rest his forehead against yours, you let out a soft, shaky breath.

“i’m glad you found me like this,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

seungmin didn’t hesitate. “i’ll always find you.”

your chest tightened, something deep and aching curling in your ribs. you opened your eyes to meet his, and for once, there was no teasing, no playful sarcasm—just him, just seungmin, looking at you like you were something worth holding onto.

“i mean it,” he continued, his thumb tracing the curve of your cheek. “no matter what. no matter where. i’ll always be with you.”

you let out a quiet breath before he pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead. then, he pulled you in again, arms wrapping around you like he could shield you from the world, like he wasn’t planning on letting go anytime soon.

and for the first time in what felt like forever, you believed him.

epilogue.

the scent of vanilla lingered in seungmin’s room at the dorm, mingling with the faint chill of february air slipping in through the window. the soft glow of fairy lights bathed everything in a golden hue, casting flickering shadows against the walls. it should’ve felt like any other night. but it didn’t.

because you were here with him.

seungmin turned the baseball cap over in his hands, his fingers tracing the stitching of a little heart next to his name. it was his present for valentine’s day, simple and classic—just his style. you’d been nervous about whether he’d actually like it, but judging by the way he kept admiring it, you had nothing to worry about.

“this is so nice,” he murmured, more to himself than to you. his thumb brushed over the small embroidered heart hidden on the inside, and a slow, satisfied smile tugged at his lips. “really nice.”

your stomach did an embarrassing little flip. “you like it?”

seungmin scoffed, glancing up at you with a look that made your breath catch. “obviously.”

and then, with that effortless ease of his, he slipped it onto his head—backwards, of course. like he knew exactly what he was doing to you. like he knew that the casual way he ran a hand through his dark hair, adjusting the fit, was going to make your heart trip over itself.

you swallowed. hard.

“that’s not how you’re supposed to wear it,” you muttered, if only to distract yourself.

seungmin let out a soft laugh, adjusting the cap one more time before pushing off his desk.

you barely had time to process the way he closed the space between you before he was kissing you—soft, sure, like it was second nature. his hands found your waist, tugging you just a little closer, and you barely managed to catch your breath before melting into him.

when he pulled back, his lips still ghosting over yours, he murmured, “thank you, y/n.”

your heart squeezed at the sincerity in his voice. you met his gaze, your hands still gripping the fabric of his sweater. “of course,” you whispered.

his lips curled into a smile. “you ready for yours?” seungmin took a step back, tilting his head toward the door. “come on,” he said, nodding for you to follow.

you frowned. “where are we going?”

he didn’t answer, just grabbed your wrist gently and tugged you along. his grip was warm, steady, and despite your confusion, you let him lead you out of your room and into the dimly lit hallway.

before you could ask again, from felix’s room, you heard a hushed, “shh.”

you blinked, confused, and turned to seungmin. without a word, he nudged the door open, and the sight inside made your breath catch. felix was crouched on the floor, his hands cradling the tiniest, cutest puppy you had ever seen. 

a soft golden ball of fur with round eyes blinked up at felix, its tiny nose twitching as it snuggled closer into him. the moment it spotted movement, its little tail wagged.

your heart squeezed, and you gasped, stepping forward on instinct. “oh my goodness.”

felix grinned while walking over to you, then carefully—almost reverently—placed the tiny puppy in your arms. you barely processed the movement, too busy marveling at the warmth and softness of the small body now curled against your chest.

“oh my goodness,” you whispered again, cradling the little thing like it was made of glass. the puppy let out a tiny sigh, its nose nudging your sweater, already settling into you like it belonged there. you tore your gaze away just long enough to look up at him. “he’s perfect. he looks just like—”

felix nodded. “seungmin made sure of that.” he glanced over at seungmin, who was standing beside you with his hands in his pockets, watching your reaction with a satisfied smirk. “i don’t think you realize how picky he was about this whole thing.”

you blinked, looking at seungmin in surprise. “really?”

felix scoffed. “oh, absolutely. he made me visit like five different places with him just to find one that looked exactly like your old dog.”

your heart squeezed. you looked back down at the puppy, feeling an overwhelming rush of emotion. you turned to him, eyes soft. “you did that?”

seungmin rolled his eyes, like he was trying to play it off, but his ears were tinged pink. “well, yeah. i wasn’t gonna get you just any dog.”

you let out a soft laugh, still in awe. “i can’t believe you.”

felix then chimed in. “he’s got a ton of energy, you’re gonna have your hands full.”

you glanced down at the puppy, who was now settled in your arms, and smiled. “i don’t mind.”

felix grinned. “didn’t think you would.” he patted seungmin on the shoulder before stepping toward the door. “alright, i’ll leave you to it.”

you looked up. “felix, seriously. thank you.”

felix waved a hand. “yeah, yeah, just make sure seungmin doesn’t pretend he did all the work.” he shot seungmin a pointed look before slipping out of the room, leaving you alone with him—and your new puppy.

overwhelmed, you looked up at seungmin, your heart racing. he was watching you with that familiar, amused expression, lips twitching before he rolled his eyes.

“happy valentine’s day, you freak.”

you made a sound that wasn’t quite human, still in shock. “thank you, thank you, thank you! i love him!”

seungmin barely had time to react before you surged forward, wrapping your arm around him—careful not to squish the tiny dog between you. you pressed a quick, eager kiss to his lips, catching him slightly off guard, but he recovered fast, letting out a small laugh against your mouth.

“you’re so welcome,” he murmured, his hands finding your waist.

still buzzing with excitement, you pulled back just enough to nuzzle into the crook of his neck, breathing him in. he smelled warm and familiar—like fresh laundry and something unmistakably him.

“i can’t believe you did this,” you whispered against his skin, voice thick with emotion. “you’re actually the best.”

seungmin scoffed, though his grip on you tightened. “obviously.”

“i don’t know how to thank you,” you murmured.

he shrugged, his fingers slipping under the hem of your sweater, just barely grazing your skin. “just don’t forget who your favorite is.”

you blinked, then smirked. “between you and the dog?” seungmin gave you a warning look, but you only hummed playfully, tapping your chin like you were seriously debating it. “i mean… he’s really cute, seungmin.”

seungmin narrowed his eyes, pulling back slightly. “alright, that’s it. i’m returning him.”

your jaw dropped. “what? no!” you clutched the tiny puppy closer to your chest protectively, like seungmin was actually about to pry him from your arms.

“take it back,” he demanded, arms crossing over his chest.

you blinked at him, tilting your head slightly, all wide eyes and innocence. “take what back?”

seungmin inhaled sharply, as if willing himself to be patient. “don’t play with me, y/n.”

you barely held back a grin, feigning confusion. “i’m sorry minnie, i really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

he exhaled through his nose, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe you were doing this. “last chance,” he muttered, stepping closer.

you bit your lip, letting the anticipation build. then, just to push your luck a little further, you whispered, “never.” you giggled, reaching out to poke his cheek.

seungmin swatted your hand away. “i surprised you with the cutest valentine’s day gift ever, and you’re over here debating whether the dog is better than me.”

still cradling the sleepy puppy, you tilted your head, grinning. “you’re really worked up over this, huh?”

“i am not—” seungmin cut himself off, exhaling sharply before dragging a hand down his face. then, quieter, he muttered, “i just want to hear you say it.”

your heart clenched at how utterly serious he sounded, despite the dramatic display.

softening, you reached out, wrapping your free arm around his beck and pulling him close. “you are, you idiot,” you murmured against his chest.

seungmin stilled against you for a moment before pulling back just enough to look at you, his expression unreadable. “i’m what?”

you blinked up at him, already biting back a smile. “my favorite.”

his eyes narrowed slightly, as if trying to decide whether you were messing with him again. “say it again.”

you rolled your eyes but indulged him anyway, pressing a hand against his chest. “you’re my favorite, seungmin.”

a slow, satisfied smirk tugged at his lips. “damn right, i am.”

you huffed, laughing softly. “god, you’re so annoying.”

seungmin rolled his eyes like you were being slow on purpose. “i love you too, idiot.”

you opened your mouth to argue—just out of sheer principle—but he kissed you before you could, effectively shutting you up.

and, really, you weren’t complaining

[pixiefelixie]

𓆝..°°𓈒 ⋆ (필릭스) : REMEMBER THIS SUMMER "FRIDAY" MDNI!!!

𓆉 °°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ synopsis felix is living the summer every teenager dreams of, with a perfect beach house on the east coast of australia and an even more perfect girlfriend. by taking the best of both worlds, felix invites her to experience the world he grew up in to make this the best summer ever. amidst bonfires, romantic sunsets, and seagulls, felix has one goal this summer: to finally tell her he loves her. with just one week to do so, felix is met with a challenge to make his feelings known before time runs out. 

pairing: nonidol!felix x fem!reader, series warnings: this work is NSFW so minors do not interact!, established relationship, fluff, angsty chapter important notes: The content of this work is purely fictional and is not intended to endorse or encourage any behavior, especially among minors, that may be deemed inappropriate or unsafe. This story is created solely for entertainment purposes and should be understood as fiction. Reader discretion is advised.

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nsfw warnings and chapter under the cut ~17k words

warnings: underaged sex, non-penetrative, suggestive themes, making out, marking, dry humping, orgasm under clothes

day 6 - 8:00

the first thing you felt was warmth.

it wrapped around you like a soft cocoon, the heat radiating from the body pressed against yours, steady and unwavering. your cheek was resting against smooth skin, your fingers curled lightly against felix’s bare chest, rising and falling with his slow, even breaths. the room was still bathed in the quiet hush of early morning, the air cool, but his warmth surrounded you, keeping you nestled in a pocket of comfort.

blinking sleepily, you stirred just a little, enough to lift your gaze without moving too much. felix was awake, his head resting against the pillow just inches from yours, his eyes slightly focused on the screen of his phone. he held it out in front of him with one arm, his fingers scrolling lazily. his other arm was still wrapped securely around you, his palm resting against your back.

you stayed still for a moment, just watching him. his hair was a mess of soft waves, tousled from sleep, the strands falling slightly over his forehead. his lips were slightly parted, and his skin carried the warmth of sleep, golden in the early-morning light. 

you sighed softly, the breath leaving your lips in a slow exhale as warmth settled deep in your chest. without thinking, you shifted slightly, your arm sliding up and wrapping gently around felix’s waist, pulling yourself closer to him. his skin was warm beneath your touch, radiating heat that felt grounding, safe.

at the movement, felix blinked down at you, his scrolling pausing entirely. a small smile tugged at his lips as he locked his phone, setting it aside without hesitation. his attention was fully on you now, his gaze soft and full of something unreadable—something deep. you hoped it was love.

“good morning,” he murmured, his morning voice raspy, still husky around the edges.

you smiled up at him, eyes barely open, sleep still tugging at your limbs. “good morning.”

everything felt so domestic, so natural. felix’s fingers traced light patterns against your back, his hand still resting securely against you, and you let your body melt into his warmth.

“that was the best sleep i’ve ever had,” you murmured, your voice soft but sincere, your cheek still pressed against his bare chest.

felix let out a quiet chuckle, his chest vibrating gently beneath you. “yeah?” 

you nodded, letting your fingers trace slow, absentminded circles against his skin. “mhm. thank you.”

felix’s gaze softened even more, his eyes flickering down to your lips, and before you could even process it, he was leaning in. the warmth of his breath fanned against your skin for a split second before his lips brushed against yours—soft, slow, deliberate.

but then, as your brain finally caught up with what was happening, your eyes widened slightly, and you pulled back just an inch, pressing your palm lightly against his chest.

“i didn’t brush my teeth,” you mumbled, half embarrassed, half amused.

felix just chuckled, low and lazy, his arms tightening around you as if to keep you from even thinking about moving away. his forehead bumped gently against yours, his smile never fading.

“mm,” he hummed, his voice still thick with sleep, “but you’re always as clean as…” he trailed off, eyes twinkling with playful mischief as he pretended to search for the right words.

you raised an eyebrow, waiting. “as what?”

felix’s lips quirked into a grin before he finally finished, “as a fresh-out-the-shower angel.”

you let out a laugh, shaking your head. “that’s the worst comparison ever.”

felix only smirked, pulling you even closer until your bodies were completely pressed together. “you’re mean,” he murmured, brushing his nose against yours. 

your laughter faded into a smile, soft and full, as you looked up at felix. you closed the small distance between you, pressing your lips to his in a slow, deliberate kiss. felix responded instantly. his breath hitched slightly, but then he melted into you, his lips molding against yours in a way that felt utterly natural, utterly right.

felix’s lips moved against yours with an aching slowness, the kind that made your stomach tighten and your skin tingle. the kiss was warm, deep, and deliberate. his lips were so soft, perfectly against yours, and parting just enough to let you taste the heat of him. every slow drag, every slight tilt of his head sent a fresh wave of warmth cascading down your spine, pooling low in your stomach.

his hand, still cradling the side of your face, tilted your chin just slightly, giving him better access as he deepened the kiss. his thumb traced delicate circles just beneath your jaw, coaxing you to relax, to melt further into him. his breath was warm, mixing with yours, and every slight shift of his lips sent another pulse of sensation through you, another flicker of electricity that made you lightheaded with the sheer intensity of it.

"you deserve everything," he whispered against your mouth between kisses, voice firm like it was an undeniable truth. his hand slid down to your waist, fingers pressing just enough to make your stomach tighten. "i hope you know that."

his fingers spread slightly, palm pressing firmly as he mapped the shape of you, lingering just at the dip of your waist before traveling lower. the heat of his touch bled through the thin fabric of your shirt, making your stomach clench, your breath hitch ever so slightly against his mouth.

felix smirked against your lips, as if he could feel the way your body responded to him. his fingers grazed your hip, tightening briefly before he continued his path downward, his palm gliding over the outer curve of your thigh. his touch was slow, teasing, deliberate. he traced light, absentminded strokes down your leg, fingertips grazing over your skin in a way that sent goosebumps rippling up your arms.

without thinking—without even meaning to—you lifted your leg just slightly, an unconscious invitation. felix reacted instantly. his grip on your thigh firmed, his fingers pressing into the softness of your skin, and in one smooth, effortless motion, he scooped your leg up and hooked it over his hip.

a shiver ran through you at the motion, at the effortless way he handled you. butterflies erupted in your stomach, a wild fluttering that made your breath catch, made your head spin. the new position pressed you even closer against him, the heat of his body seeping into every inch of you.

felix groaned softly against your lips, his grip tightening on your thigh, his other hand slipping back to your waist, fingers pressing into your skin as if grounding himself. his lips parted against yours again, and he kissed you deeper, slower, his tongue brushing teasingly against yours before pulling back just enough to make you chase him. his fingers traced slow, lingering patterns along your thigh where he held it in place, his touch sending another wave of warmth curling through you.

your heart was pounding, each beat echoing through your body, your senses drowning in the feel of him—the way he held you close, the way his hands moved over you with careful, deliberate reverence, the way his lips pressed against yours with a slow-burning hunger that sent heat coiling low in your stomach.

felix felt like he was sinking—drowning in you, in the warmth of your body against his, in the way your lips moved with such effortless tenderness against his own. he didn’t want this to end. not this moment, not this morning, not this feeling. he wanted to wake up every day to this—to you curled against his chest, to the lazy heat of your body pressed against his, to your lips parting so willingly beneath his own.

and the way you responded to him… it was making him weak. every little shift, every subtle press of your body against his, the way your fingers trembled slightly as they splayed across his bare chest—it was unraveling him piece by piece. he could feel it in the way your breath hitched when his fingers flexed against your waist, in the way you lifted your leg just a little more, pressing yourself closer to him, your thigh hooked over his hip as if you never wanted to let go.

felix could feel it happening, creeping up on him like a slow, inevitable tide. his body’s betrayal to himself, exposing just how much he wanted you. heat flooded felix’s face, spreading down his neck, a mixture of embarrassment and frustration knotting in his chest. his throat felt tight, his pulse hammering, each beat thick with tension. his pulse thundered in his ears, his breaths coming just a little heavier against your lips as he fought to keep himself composed. don’t get hard.

but his body didn’t give a damn what his brain wanted. it was already happening, the stiff pressure growing against the fabric of his sweatpants, making his whole body tense. he squeezed his eyes shut, as if willing it to disappear, as if sheer force of will could stop the way his body was responding to you.

the way you were kissing him, soft and unhurried, completely lost in the moment—it meant you probably hadn’t felt it yet. yet. he had to do something. anything.

and because he was a certified idiot, his next move sealed his fate.

felix reached down, slow and subtle, trying to adjust himself—just a quick shift to make sure it wasn’t as noticeable. but the moment his fingers brushed against the fabric, against the already uncomfortable strain pressing against his pants, he realized he had just made it ten times worse.

his entire body went rigid, and just as he was internally cursing at himself, you suddenly stilled against him.

the kiss stopped.

everything stopped.

you pulled back just enough to look at him, brows furrowing slightly, and in the soft morning quiet, your voice came out hesitant.

the second that hesitant uh left your lips, a sharp jolt of dread shot through him, coiling around his ribs, squeezing tight. felix’s throat felt tight, his pulse hammering against his skin, each frantic beat echoing the sharp spike of panic clawing through his chest. his fingers flexed against his waistband as if he could somehow will the situation away, erase the last five seconds, undo the unbearable heat of getting caught.

his breath hitched, and then—"i’m sorry," he blurted, voice hoarse, strained.

the moment the words left his lips, he moved, trying to scramble out of your grasp, his body tense, desperate to escape the weight of his own embarrassment. his hands fumbled against the sheets, his movements jerky, uncoordinated, like he didn’t even know what to do with himself.

but before he could pull away, you caught him.

your hands found his shoulders, your fingers gripping just enough to hold him there, to stop him from retreating. the warmth of your touch seared into his skin, grounding, steady. his body went rigid beneath you, his chest rising and falling too fast, the heat in his face unbearable.

"it’s okay," you murmured, voice soft, firm, so goddamn gentle it made his stomach twist even tighter.

felix let out a sharp breath, his jaw clenching, his fingers curling into the sheets beside him. his heart was slamming against his ribs, his body locked in place, caught between wanting to believe you and the sheer, suffocating embarrassment threatening to swallow him whole.

"fuck," he rasped, his voice barely above a whisper. his eyes squeezed shut, his brows knitting together, frustration and mortification tangled in the tightness of his expression. "i just—"

your fingers tightened slightly against his shoulders, grounding him, keeping him there. felix’s breath was shallow, his chest rising and falling too quickly, his entire body wound tight like a live wire. the heat radiating from him wasn’t just warmth anymore—it was something else entirely. something that made the air between you feel charged, electric, humming with a tension that neither of you knew quite how to navigate.

"felix," you murmured, your voice soft, but sure.

his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, his jaw clenching. he still wouldn’t look at you. his eyes were squeezed shut, his hands curled into the sheets, his whole body rigid with tension. but he didn’t move away. he didn’t pull back. he stayed.

you shifted slightly, your fingers tracing soothing circles against his skin, feeling the way his muscles twitched beneath your touch. his body was betraying him, every inch of him caught between the unbearable weight of embarrassment and the undeniable truth of how much he wanted you.

"look at me," you whispered.

a muscle in his jaw ticked. he hesitated. but then, slowly—so fucking slowly—his lashes lifted, and his gaze met yours.

his eyes were dark, pupils blown wide, his irises caught somewhere between desperation and restraint. he looked wrecked. completely undone. and fuck, if that didn’t send another pulse of heat straight to your core.

"it’s okay," you repeated, softer this time, your voice carrying the weight of quiet understanding.

felix let out a breath, shaky, uneven. "it’s not," he rasped, his fingers twitching where they gripped the sheets. "i didn’t—i wasn’t trying to—"

"i know," you cut in gently, your hands sliding up his shoulders, fingertips tracing lightly over the curve of his neck. his pulse thundered beneath your touch, hammering against his skin like a drumbeat.

felix’s breath came out in a ragged sigh, his fingers twitching against the sheets like they couldn’t decide whether to let go or hold on for dear life. his cheeks were flushed a deep pink, spreading down to his neck, and his eyes flitted anywhere but at you, as though maybe if he didn’t see you looking at him, this whole situation would just vanish into thin air.

felix swallowed hard, his throat bobbing as he tried—and failed—to steady himself. his grip on the sheets twitched, his body still caught between the lingering embarrassment and the undeniable heat simmering beneath his skin. 

a slow, breathy chuckle left his lips, his fingers finally releasing their death grip on the sheets as he let his head fall back against the pillow. "man," he sighed, voice still rough around the edges, but now laced with something playful. "this is the worst way to start a morning, huh?"

you blinked at him, taken aback for half a second before a small, surprised laugh bubbled out of you. "it’s only bad if you make it bad," you mused, tilting your head slightly. 

he chuckled, the sound low, his hand on your hip squeezing just the slightest bit. a beat of silence stretched between you, filled only by the soft sounds of your breathing, the lingering weight of everything that had just happened.

"i mean…" your voice was barely above a whisper, shy, and felix stilled instantly. his fingers paused against your hip, his expression shifting as his eyes flickered up to meet yours. your stomach twisted, nerves and something deeper intertwining as you forced yourself to hold his gaze. "if you want, we could… try something."

felix didn’t move for a second.

his breath hitched.

his grip on your hip tightened just a little, but he said nothing—just stared at you, like he was trying to make sure he hadn’t misheard you, like he was waiting for you to say it again just to be sure.

felix’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. "you…" he exhaled, shaking his head slightly as if he was trying to clear it. "you wanna…?"

your cheeks burned, heat spreading down your neck, but you nodded, your fingers curling slightly against his shoulders. "i mean, we’ve talked about it." the words felt heavy and vulnerable in a way you hadn’t expected.

felix’s breath hitched, his fingers tightening on your hip, his other hand still resting beside your thigh, warm and steady. his expression softened—not in pity, not in hesitation, but in something else entirely. something that made your stomach flutter, made your chest feel tight in the best possible way.

"you don’t have to—"

"i want to," you interrupted, your voice firmer this time, sure. "i… i trust you."

that did something to him. you saw it in the way his lips parted slightly, in the way his pupils darkened, the way his whole body tensed before softening beneath your touch. his jaw twitched, his fingers tracing slow, absentminded patterns along your hip as he let your words settle in.

for a moment, neither of you spoke. the silence stretched, but it wasn’t awkward—it was heavy, thick with something unspoken, something electric. felix wet his lips, exhaling slowly before tilting his head slightly. "okay," he murmured, voice barely above a whisper. "okay."

your heart pounded, anticipation curling through you, leaving your limbs tingling. the reality of this moment, of what you were both admitting to, settled in your chest like a slow, rolling wave.

felix’s hand slid up slightly, his thumb brushing over your ribs, just beneath the hem of your shirt. the touch was light, teasing, barely there, but it sent a shiver racing down your spine. "we don’t have to rush," he murmured, his voice softer now, lower. "we figure it out together, yeah?"

you nodded, your fingers tracing the curve of his shoulder, the warmth of his skin beneath your touch grounding you. "yeah," you whispered. “we can try something that’ll make us both feel good.”

felix exhaled sharply, something between relief and something else, something deeper. and then—slowly, carefully—he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours again, softer this time, unhurried.

"yeah?" his voice was even lower now. “like what?" 

your stomach twisted, heat curling at the base of your spine as you bit your lip, trying to push past the shyness creeping up your throat. you weren’t sure why it felt so hard to just say it outright—maybe because it felt so intimate, so deliberate, like stepping over an invisible line neither of you had ever crossed before.

you swallowed, shifting slightly against him, feeling the way his breath hitched at the movement.

felix’s breath stalled in his throat the second you moved. his fingers twitched against your waist as you reached for the covers, slowly peeling them back, the cool air of the room washing over both of you. his gaze followed your every movement, dark eyes flickering with something heavy, something deep, as you shifted, lifting yourself just enough to climb over him.

he didn’t stop you.

didn’t even breathe.

his hands hovered near your hips, like he was fighting the urge to grab hold of you, like he wanted to let you lead.

felix was wrecked. completely, utterly, devastatingly wrecked.

the moment you settled over him,  straddling his waist, something in his chest clenched so tight it hurt. his breath hitched, and he knew—knew—that he was beyond saving.

you looked unreal.

like something he wasn’t meant to touch.

like something too soft, too good, too—fuck.

the floral tank top clung to your frame, the soft fabric brushing against your skin, rising just slightly where it met your matching thin shorts. golden morning light kissed every inch of you, tracing over your skin like it worshiped you, pooling in the dip of your collarbone, sliding down the curves of your thighs where your shorts rode up just slightly. your hair was still tousled from sleep, loose strands falling over your face, and your lips—plush, swollen from his kisses—parted slightly as you exhaled. you were staring down at him with those eyes, those goddamn eyes, and he felt like he was unraveling beneath your gaze.

heat crept up your neck, the intensity of his stare sending a shiver through you, but you didn’t look away. instead, you slowly lowered yourself, hovering just above him, your hands resting lightly against his bare chest.

"just… like this," you murmured, your fingers brushing lightly against his side. “just… feeling each other."

felix blinked.

it took half a second for the realization to settle in, but when it did, something in his expression shifted—his lips parted slightly, his fingers twitching against your hip, his jaw tensing like he was processing it all at once.

and then, slowly, his face softened.

a slow, knowing smile spread across his lips, but there was nothing cocky about it—just warmth, understanding, something safe. "you sure?" he murmured, his thumb rubbing soft circles against your hip bone.

you nodded, heart pounding. "it’s… safer. right?"

felix exhaled a quiet laugh, shaking his head just a little. "yeah. yeah, it is." his fingers flexed against your skin, his voice turning softer, more serious. 

felix studied you for a long moment, his fingers resting lightly against your waist, the warmth of his touch steady, grounding. his expression was softer now, the teasing edge from earlier fading into something deeper, something more careful. his eyes searched yours, dark and full of things left unspoken.

"you’re okay with this?" his voice was quiet, low, like he wanted to make sure, one last time, that this was something you truly wanted.

your heart pounded, warmth creeping up your neck, but you didn’t hesitate.

"i trust you, felix."

that was all he needed.

his breath hitched, his fingers tightening against your waist for the briefest second, and then a slow exhale left his lips, something easing in his expression. his eyes softened, and then—he nodded. just once.

and that was all you needed.

a small smile tugged at your lips, your hands resting against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath beneath your palms. felix’s own lips curled slightly, matching your expression, and then you moved—shifting your weight just enough to lower yourself down against him, pressing your body flush against his.

and that was when you felt it. the hard, undeniable pressure nestled right between your legs, separated only by the thin fabric of your shorts and his sweatpants.

both of you sucked in a sharp breath.

your entire body went rigid, heat rushing to your face as the realization hit you all at once. the pressure, the warmth, the way your pulse pounded between your thighs—it was overwhelming. immediate. your hands clenched slightly against his chest, your body tensing instinctively at the unexpected intensity of it all.

felix’s reaction was just as instant.

his breath stuttered, his fingers digging slightly into your waist, his body stiffening beneath you. a low, barely-there sound caught in his throat, a mix between a sharp inhale and a quiet groan, quickly swallowed down.

your face burned. the heat creeping up your neck felt unbearable, too much. you ducked your head, pressing your face into the curve of his neck, your breath warm against his skin, your body going still against him.

felix’s chest rose sharply beneath you. his hands twitched on your hips.

"...are you okay?" his voice was soft, careful, a little breathless.

you nodded against his neck, but your voice was small when you mumbled, "don’t want you to look at me."

a quiet chuckle rumbled through felix’s chest, deep and warm, and he squeezed your waist just slightly, fingers trailing light, reassuring patterns against your skin.

"that’s okay," he murmured, amusement laced in his voice, but no teasing—just understanding, just him letting you be in this moment however you needed to be.

you exhaled slowly against his neck, letting yourself relax against him, feeling the warmth of his skin, the steady beat of his pulse beneath your lips. felix’s hands on your hips were steady, firm, holding you there, grounding you. he didn’t rush, didn’t push, just let you settle into the weight of him, let you feel him.

you shifted just slightly, pressing down against him, testing, feeling.

the friction sent a sharp, unexpected pulse of sensation through you, a slow roll of warmth pooling low in your stomach. your clit brushed against the hard press of him beneath all the layers, the pressure perfectly, maddeningly placed.

a quiet gasp left your lips before you could stop it, muffled against his skin.

felix wasn’t unaffected either.

his breath hitched, his grip on your hips tightening, and then a soft, quiet gasp of his own slipped past his lips, hot against the shell of your ear. his whole body tensed beneath you, every muscle going rigid, his hips barely, barely pressing up in response before he caught himself.

"fuck," he breathed, his voice strained, wrecked already. his forehead dropped back against the pillow, his fingers pressing into your skin, his restraint evident in the way he held himself still beneath you.

you swallowed hard, heat curling in your stomach, breath coming faster now. your fingers clenched slightly against his chest, your body buzzing from the sensation, from the way felix had gasped against your ear, from the way he felt beneath you—warm and hard and completely at your mercy.

felix let out a shaky breath, his hands smoothing slow, steady circles against your waist. "you okay?" his voice was lower now, rougher, laced with something thick, something dark.

you nodded against his neck, voice barely above a whisper.

"yeah."

felix exhaled sharply, his hands sliding a little lower, gripping just beneath the curve of your hips.

and then—he moved.

his hands tightened against your hips, his grip grounding, firm, and in one slow, deliberate motion, he pulled you down against him.

the friction was immediate, sharp and warm and devastatingly good. the pressure of his cock beneath all the layers pressed right against your heat, the slow, controlled movement making your breath catch, making your legs clench instinctively around his hips.

felix groaned, low and wrecked, the sound vibrating against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. his head fell back against the pillow, his lips parted, his hands holding you in place as he did it again—pulling your hips against his, rutting up to meet you, the fabric between you doing nothing to dull the heat.

you inhaled sharply, your fingers digging into his chest as the sensation hit you, your body instinctively pressing down against him, seeking more, needing more.

felix’s breath was uneven, his grip on your waist growing just a little tighter, his movements a little more deliberate. he wasn’t holding back anymore—he was guiding you, controlling the rhythm, his hips rolling up into yours with slow, controlled precision.

you squeezed your eyes shut, your breath coming faster now, heat curling low in your stomach as the pressure built, as the friction sent little sparks of pleasure rippling through your body.

then, unable to help yourself, you moved too—grinding down against him harder, meeting his movements, your body falling into rhythm with his. felix let out a sharp, shuddering breath, his grip faltering for a second before he caught himself, his fingers pressing harder into your hips, helping guide you, matching your pace.

"fuck," he murmured, voice strained, rough, like he was barely holding himself together.

the pleasure between you was growing, steady and relentless, the rhythm becoming constant, your bodies moving in sync, finding something that felt both slow and desperate all at once.

felix’s breath was ragged beneath you, each slow grind of your hips making his grip tighten, his fingers pressing into your waist like he was afraid you’d slip away. the friction was maddening, the layers between you teasing, amplifying everything, making it all feel somehow more intense. your bodies were moving together now, falling into a steady rhythm, the pressure of him hitting just right, sending sparks of pleasure racing through your veins.

felix breathed, his voice rough, strained. "this, this feels good."

you nodded against him, unable to form proper words, your lips brushing over his collarbone as you rocked against him again, chasing more of that delicious friction. "mhm…"

felix let out a quiet, breathy grunt, his head tilting back against the pillow, exposing the length of his throat. "i didn’t think… hngh—" he broke off as you rolled your hips a little harder, his grip twitching against your skin. "—i didn’t think this would feel this good."

you swallowed, your breath shaky as warmth coiled low in your stomach, tightening with each slow, deliberate grind. "me neither," you admitted, your voice coming out softer, more breathless than you intended.

felix chuckled, though it was weak, barely holding up under the weight of his own pleasure. "this is… kind of dangerous," he murmured, his hands sliding up your sides, smoothing over the fabric of your tank top before settling just beneath your ribs, his touch hot, grounding.

you shivered at his touch, your hands pressing against his chest for balance as you rocked down harder, feeling the way his cock throbbed beneath the layers between you. your face burned, but you couldn’t stop—wouldn’t stop. it felt too good. too intoxicating.

"not too dangerous," you whispered, voice teasing, but your breath stuttered as felix suddenly bucked his hips up into you, adding a new kind of pressure that sent heat shooting straight through you.

a quiet sigh slipped past your lips before you could stop it, muffled slightly against his neck.

felix groaned in response, his fingers tightening under your ribs, his hips rutting up into yours again, more deliberate this time. "shit—okay," he gasped, a breathy laugh slipping between the edges of his words. "maybe just a little."

you nodded quickly, your body trembling against his, overwhelmed by the slow, steady pleasure unraveling between you. "a little," you echoed, though your voice faltered on the last word, your breath hitching as his cock pressed just right against you through your shorts.

felix cursed under his breath, his hands sliding down, gripping your hips again, guiding you in slow, controlled rolls. his movements were precise, calculated, dragging more friction, more pressure, and every time you moved, it sent another pulse of pleasure right where you needed it.

"baby," he gritted out, his voice nearly breaking on the word. his head tipped forward slightly, lips brushing against your shoulder. "you’re so—" he cut himself off, exhaling sharply as you pushed down against him again, feeling him pulse beneath you.

your stomach tightened, pleasure building, curling hot and insistent. your breath was coming faster now, your body rocking against him with more purpose, more need.

felix’s voice was lower now, rough, his words barely more than a whisper. "keep going."

your hands moved without thinking, sliding up his chest, feeling the way his muscles tensed and flexed beneath your fingertips. the heat of his skin was intoxicating, each slow drag of your palms leaving a tingling sensation in their wake. felix shuddered beneath you, his breath catching as your fingers traced over his collarbones, then down again, pressing lightly against the firm ridges of his stomach.

"shit," he breathed, voice thick with something unfiltered, raw.

he lifted his hands from your hips, his touch hesitant for just a second before he let himself move—his palms smoothing up your sides, fingers grazing over the thin fabric of your tank top before slipping under. the warmth of his hands against your bare skin sent a sharp jolt of heat down your spine, making you inhale sharply, your movements faltering for half a second before you pressed down against him again.

the friction was maddening—slow and constant, a steady, delicious pressure that had your bodies completely locked into each other, moving in sync.

felix groaned softly, his head tilting back against the pillow, his hands gripping your waist beneath your shirt, his thumbs brushing slow, teasing circles against your skin. his hips rolled up into yours again, dragging another sharp wave of pleasure through you, and before you could stop yourself—a soft, breathy whine slipped past your lips.

felix froze. 

his grip on your waist tightened, his jaw clenching, his eyes fluttering shut for half a second before he suddenly leaned in—his lips pressing hot and open-mouthed against your neck, right against the spot where your pulse pounded.

a small gasp caught in your throat, your body shivering under the sensation, your hands gripping his shoulders for balance.

felix barely noticed.

all he could think about was the sound you had just made—the quiet, desperate little whine that had slipped from your lips, unfiltered, raw, fucking perfect.

his lips dragged lower, kissing, sucking lightly at your skin, and before you could stop yourself—another soft noise left you, muffled slightly as you tried to suppress it. your face burned instantly, heat crawling up your neck, and you squeezed your eyes shut, mortified.

"oh my god," you whispered, pressing your forehead against his shoulder. "this is so embarrassing."

"no, baby," he murmured, voice low, firm, full of something dangerously soft. his hands smoothed up your sides again. "you could never be embarrassing."

your heart slammed against your ribs.

slowly, you lifted your head, your face still burning, and felix took the opportunity—leaning in, pressing his lips back to your neck, kissing slowly like he wanted to erase every ounce of hesitation left in your body.

you melted against him.

the rhythm between you didn’t stop—if anything, it only grew deeper, the slow, steady grind of your hips against his sending little waves of pleasure curling through you, building higher, sharper.

felix groaned against your skin, his lips trailing up, back to your jaw, before resting his forehead against yours, breath hot and uneven. his fingers gripped your waist again, guiding you, pulling you down against him harder, until—

a sharp, blinding rush of pleasure shot through you, sudden and overwhelming.

"felix—" his name left your lips in a breathless whisper, half a gasp, half a plea.

felix groaned, his grip on your waist flexing as he pushed up to meet you, matching your rhythm, moving with you, his movements just as frantic, just as desperate. his forehead pressed against yours, his breath hot, ragged, his lips brushing against your cheek as he murmured—

"yeah, baby?"

your breath shuddered out of you, your head falling forward, your hands fisting in the sheets beside his shoulders. "i’m—" you swallowed hard, your voice barely above a whisper.

felix sucked in a sharp breath as he understood.

his fingers flexed against your waist, his grip tightening, and then—his body shuddered beneath you, his hips rutting up harder, more urgent, the friction between you pushing both of you closer.

"me too," he rasped, voice wrecked, his hands sliding up your sides, pulling you against him like he needed you, like he couldn’t bear the space between your bodies anymore.

his lips brushed against your jaw, his breath hot and uneven. "don’t stop."

the friction between you both remained relentless—eager, desperate, and just a little bit ridiculous. there was no finesse, no practiced rhythm, just a mess of frantic movements and needy sounds, both of you too lost in the sensation to even think about doing it right.

felix let out something between a groan and a breathless laugh as your hips stuttered against his, the pressure just right but the motion clumsy, uneven. his grip on your waist tightened as he tried to guide you, but the moment he pushed up again, his breath hitched—his whole body shivering beneath you like he’d just touched a live wire.

"fuck, i—" his words cut off into a strangled sound, his head falling back against the pillow, lips parting, brows furrowing. his hips jerked up on instinct, the friction so intense, so good that he couldn’t control it anymore. his fingers twitched against your skin, his body tensing beneath yours like he was barely hanging on.

you weren’t doing much better.

your breath was coming fast, uneven, your fingers digging into his shoulders as heat coiled low in your stomach, sharp and insistent. every accidental grind, every miscalculated movement, only sent another wave of pleasure rushing through you, growing stronger, more unbearable.

felix sucked in a sharp breath, his hands slipping up beneath your shirt, palms hot against your sides. his fingers flexed, gripping, guiding—trying to help, but he was just as lost as you, his movements desperate, erratic. his lips parted, his breath coming in short, shallow gasps as his hips twitched up again, searching, chasing.

"shit—" your voice broke, your forehead dropping against his as a sharp, overwhelming pulse of pleasure tore through you. it was too much, too intense, and before you could stop it—

your whole body tensed.

felix felt it happen.

his eyes fluttered open, wide, lips parting as he realized, as he felt you stiffen against him. your thighs clenched around his hips, a soft, broken sound slipping from your lips—a sound that sent a violent shudder through his body, his fingers tightening on your skin.

"are you—?" his voice cracked mid-sentence, the words trailing off into a strangled whimper. you barely heard him. you were lost—still shivering, still caught in the aftershocks, the lingering heat pulsing between you both. your body felt like it was still chasing something, even as it trembled from the high. "oh my god—"

his whole body trembled beneath you, and then—

his hips jerked up sharply, one last, desperate movement before he broke.

a wrecked, helpless groan tore from his throat as his body shuddered, the tension snapping all at once, pleasure flooding through him so fast and hard he couldn’t even breathe. his hands scrambled against your waist, like he was trying to hold onto something—onto you—as his body rode out every pulse, every wave, every moment of pure, overwhelming sensation.

you were both breathing hard, your bodies still pressed flush together, the weight of what had just happened sinking in way too fast.

felix was the first to break the silence.

"oh, shit." his voice was hoarse, wrecked, almost disbelieving. his eyes flickered open, his pupils blown wide as he stared up at you, his lips parted slightly, his breath still shaky. "did we just—?"

your face burned so hot you thought you might actually die.

you let out a tiny, strangled whine, immediately dropping your forehead against his shoulder. "don’t talk about it."

felix peeked through his fingers, his ears completely red. "i literally just—"

"felix."

"—in my pants."

"felix, stop!”

day 6 - 14:00

ever since what happened that morning, you’d been all over felix. your fingers drifted to him constantly—tugging at the hem of his shirt when he stood next to you, absentmindedly smoothing a wrinkle in his sleeve just for an excuse to touch him. you bumped into him more than strictly necessary, brushing against his arm, nudging his knee under the table, leaning in closer than needed just to hear him speak.

and the worst part? you weren’t even trying to be subtle about it.

you had a spring in your step, a glow on your face, and constantly clinging to felix like a koala on a eucalyptus binge, you still would’ve been exposed. the world looked better, food tasted better, even the birds sounded less annoying.

and felix knew.

oh, he knew.

he hadn’t said a word about it, hadn’t teased you—not outright, anyway—but the way his lips twitched whenever you reached for him, the way his fingers skimmed the small of your back just to watch you shiver, the way he leaned in close when he talked to you, his voice a little lower than usual—yeah. he was enjoying this. way too much.

when jake heard chris was here, he and his sister invited the three of you onto his yacht again for a drink in the afternoon.

the sun hung lazily in the sky, casting golden streaks over the calm water as the yacht rocked gently beneath your feet. the salty breeze tousled your hair, warm and steady, carrying the distant laughter of other boats scattered across the bay. jake had gone all out again—bottles of expensive liquor lined up on the sleek white deck, cushions thrown carelessly across the built-in seating, music humming low from the speakers.

chris was leaning against the railing, a drink in hand, sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose as he talked to emma, the girl who was secretly—not so secretly—obsessed with him. felix stood beside you near the snack table, surveying the fruit with all the seriousness of a man making a high-stakes decision. felix took a blueberry from the bowl and popped it into his mouth. then, without missing a beat, he grabbed another one and held it up to your lips.

“here,” he said, voice warm.

you smiled at the gesture, the simple sweetness of it making your chest feel just a little lighter. “thank you.” you whispered with a smile

you leaned in to take it, and right before you could, he swiftly ate it himself, just like he did on the first day.

the audacity.

you stared at him, deadpan, as he chewed with the utmost satisfaction. “felix.”

he grinned. “what?”

“you just—” you gestured vaguely at his mouth, betrayed.

“i was taste-testing,” he said, completely unbothered. “quality control.”

“oh, were you?”

“yeah. very important.” he reached for another blueberry, holding it up again. “okay, this one’s definitely for you.”

you narrowed your eyes but leaned in anyway—

and at the last second, he popped that one into his mouth too which prompted you to lightly smack his arm. 

he just laughed, dimples on full display, looking way too pleased with himself. “okay, okay, i’m sorry,” he said, still chuckling as he grabbed another blueberry. this time, he held it up properly. “here. for real this time, i promise.”

you eyed him suspiciously. “mm-hmm. sure.”

“i mean it.” his lips twitched like he was trying not to laugh again. “scout’s honor.”

“stop saying that,” you commented while laughing. you just shook your head, reaching for a blueberry yourself instead and you put it into your mouth, watching as his face twisted into exaggerated offense.

“hey,” he protested. “i’m supposed to do that for you”

“too bad.”

before you could say anything further, his hands were suddenly at your waist, fingers digging in just enough to send a shock of ticklish laughter bursting out of you.

“felix—!” you squealed, twisting away, but he just laughed along with you, relentless as he kept going.

“this is what happens when you steal my job,” he teased, his grin absolutely wicked. “actions have consequences.”

you were laughing so hard now that tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. finally, you managed to grab his wrists, breathless. “okay, okay! truce!”

felix grinned down at you, eyes bright with amusement. “say ‘felix is the best boyfriend ever.’”

you groaned, still catching your breath. “you’re so annoying.”

he just ticked you again, making you jolt with another squeaky laugh. “say it.”

“fine! felix is the best boyfriend ever.” you huffed, rolling your eyes but unable to keep from smiling.

felix grinned, victorious, then leaned in to press a quick, light kiss to your cheek. “damn right.”

felix was still looking way too smug, his hands finally resting back at his sides as you caught your breath, shaking your head at him. before you could retaliate jake’s voice rang out across the yacht, loud and animated.

“i’m just fucking saying,” he declared, waving his drink for emphasis and very nearly sloshing it over the side of the boat. “if a dude orders a mojito at a dive bar, you know he’s about to say some unhinged shit. like, ‘oh, you have house-made mint syrup? yeah, my ex-girlfriend faked her own death and now lives in ohio under the name barbara.’” you turned your head just in time to see him take a dramatic sip of his whiskey, his eyes narrowing in deep, suspicious thought. “ohio, man,” he muttered. “that’s where people go when they wanna disappear. it’s sketchy as fuck.”

you shot felix a look before subtly jerking your head toward jake and the rest of the group, silently communicating the obvious. felix smiled, nodding in agreement, and the two of you made your way over. you sank onto the cushioned yacht seating, stretching out comfortably, while felix dropped down beside you, his arm naturally resting along the back of the couch behind you.

jake, meanwhile, was deep in his rant, his drink dangerously close to sloshing over as he gestured wildly. “i swear,” he continued, eyes slightly glazed over, “if you ever meet a guy who just casually brings up ohio in conversation, run. run. that man has secrets.”

emma, sitting across from him, sipped her drink with a look of pure amusement. “what if he’s just from ohio?”

jake scoffed, waving a dismissive hand. “then he’s seen some shit. probably involved in a disappearance or two. i don’t make the rules.”

felix chuckled, shaking his head. “you talk like you’ve got firsthand experience.”

jake turned to him immediately, pointing. “i fucking do, man!” he leaned in like he was about to drop the biggest revelation of his life. “there was this one time—i shit you not—i met a dude named doug in a cincinnati parking lot at three in the morning. guy had, like, thirty-five thousand dollars in cash and a single pet bird in his car. he told me he was ‘starting over.’” jake sat back, shaking his head as if the memory still haunted him. “a pet bird, dude. you don’t run away from your past and keep a fucking parrot.”

“okay, but seriously,” felix said, tilting his head at jake. “why are you in the states so often, anyway? i swear, every time we talk, you’re either talking about l.a., new york, or apparently—" he gestured vaguely, "sketchy-ass ohio."

jake smirked, swirling the ice in his drink. “ah, mate, it’s ‘cause i’m internationally beloved.” he spread his arms wide, like he was some kind of goddamn celebrity, and took a lazy sip of whiskey before adding, “and because i have horrible financial habits.”

felix huffed a laugh beside you. “yeah, no shit.”

chris chimed in dryly, “you know, most people go to america for, like, work or actual business. you just seem to fuck around.”

jake pointed his glass at him. “hey, fucking rude, mate. i do business.”

jenny snorted from her seat. “no, you don’t.”

jake gasped, dramatically placing a hand on his chest. “wow. my own blood turning against me?” he shook his head, muttering, “i do business, you know. i dabble.”

chris lifted a brow. “dabble in what, exactly?”

jake grinned. “having a fucking great time.”

you rolled your eyes, kicking his foot lightly. “so you are just fucking around.”

jake rolled his eyes, leaning back into the cushions as he took another sip of his whiskey. “whatever, you lot just don’t appreciate my lifestyle.” then, as if the thought had just struck him, he turned his attention to felix. “yo, felix—your ex, the one you were dating a year ago, she was from the states, yeah?”

felix, who had been lounging comfortably beside you, suddenly stiffened. it was slight—just a brief pause, a barely-there shift in his posture—but you felt it. his fingers, which had been idly drumming against the cushion behind you, went still.

chris tensed, too, his expression going from vaguely amused to carefully neutral in an instant.

jake, oblivious as ever, kept going. “where was she from? hopefully not ohio.”

felix cleared his throat. “uh—” he glanced at chris briefly before giving a tight smile. “boston. she was from boston.”

you frowned slightly, glancing between the three of them. that reaction was… weird. it wasn’t like felix to get cagey about anything—especially something as minor as an ex’s hometown.

jake, completely unaware of the sudden shift in energy, just grinned and lifted his glass. “if there’s one good thing about the states, it’s the women, right?” he let out a low whistle, shaking his head. “absolutely unreal over there.”

felix let out a stiff chuckle, barely more than a breath, and took a long sip of his drink. you felt the way his shoulders remained tense, the way his fingers twitched slightly before stilling altogether. he wasn’t looking at anyone in particular now, just staring down at his glass like it held all the answers to life’s problems.

chris, meanwhile, didn’t say a word. he just shifted slightly, looking down at his own drink with a jaw so tight you were surprised he hadn’t cracked a tooth.

you mentally scoffed.

as always, felix was not at all big on talking about the one girl before you. mabel. that name was barely even a whisper in his life. he had mentioned her maybe twice since you’d known him—both times in passing, both times vague, like the name coming out of his mouth did something to him. if you had ever asked anything beyond the bare minimum, he’d steer the conversation elsewhere with that easy charm of his, like she was nothing more than a minor footnote in his past.

but this? this just proved it even more. watching the way his jaw tensed, the way chris was doing a horrible job of pretending he wasn’t also uneasy, you weren’t so sure anymore.

whatever had happened with mabel, whatever boston meant to him—it wasn’t just something he’d moved on from. it was something he avoided.

and now, as he sat there, noticeably rigid beside you while jake kept rambling on about american women, it was clearer than ever.

jake let out a laugh, shaking his head. “man, americans, i swear. wildest people i’ve ever met. you date one, you know you’re in for some kinda ride, huh, felix?”

felix forced out another laugh—too short, too flat. “yeah. something like that.”

you forced a small smile, but your mind was already elsewhere. something about felix’s reaction stuck with you, settling uneasily in your chest. you weren’t mad—this wasn’t some jealousy-fueled spiral. you suddenly felt the need for some air. not because you were mad, not because you were overreacting to the mention of felix’s ex—but because felix was reacting badly. and that was what bothered you.

felix was open about almost everything—quick with a joke, always willing to tease, always so casual about life. but the second mabel came up, even in passing, he shut down, just like he did last night. and today had just proven that even more. it was the way he was still tense beside you, even as jake had already moved on to whatever nonsense was spilling from his whiskey-fueled brain. you just needed a moment to think.

so, as casually as you could, you stood up. “i’m gonna go to the bathroom.” you said to felix.

he moved almost instantly, just the smallest shift like he was already prepared to follow you. he just assumed he was coming with you, like he thought you wanted him to. but you didn’t. not right now.

you caught his movement before he could stand and gave him a quick, reassuring shake of your head. “no, it’s fine,” you said, keeping your voice light.

felix hesitated, his brows furrowing just slightly, but he didn’t push. he just gave you a quiet nod, even though he didn’t look entirely convinced. as you turned to go, you let your hand brush over his shoulder, fingers trailing softly down his arm before slipping away completely. a small gesture, just enough to let him know you weren’t upset with him.

as soon as you disappeared below deck, felix’s shoulders stiffened. he tried to play it off, keeping his expression neutral, but his mind was already racing. his eyes immediately flicked to chris.

chris, who had been watching him carefully the whole time, just shook his head.

felix clenched his jaw, gripping his drink a little tighter.

then chris glanced toward the direction you had gone. a silent question that felix could understand immediately. felix exhaled sharply and nodded. he wasn’t going to sit here and spiral about this. if there was something wrong, he was going to find out. 

even if you had brushed felix off, maybe you wouldn’t brush off chris.

chris took a sip of his drink, then set it down and turned to emma with his signature smile, showing his dimples, his charm. “be right back,” he murmured, before standing.

felix barely had time to react before chris walked past him as he tensed, watching him go.

downstairs at the yacht’s bar, you leaned against the counter, swirling the ice in your glass as you chatted with the server—albert? alfred? you definitely didn’t remember, which was a little awkward considering he was the one who got you absolutely wasted the other night.

“so, you work on the yacht?” you asked, raising a brow. “like, full-time? or are you just here to see jake sim fall apart?”

he chuckled, wiping down a glass. “bit of both, really. pays well, keeps life interesting.” he smirked. “especially when i’m serving people like you.”

you narrowed your eyes playfully. “what’s that supposed to mean? the other night was my first time drinking that much.”

“i could tell. but you make my job fun.” he tapped the counter lightly, grinning. “and you still don’t remember my name.”

you opened your mouth to respond—defend yourself, really—but before you could, you spotted movement from the corner of your eye.

chris.

he stepped into the bar area, his eyes landing on you immediately. he didn’t even have to say a word—albert-alfred-whatever took one glance at him, and immediately moved to give you two space.

you watched the server disappear before turning your attention to chris, raising a brow. “hey.”

chris slid onto the stool next to you, elbows resting on the counter. “you good?”

simple. direct. no messing around.

you swirled your drink idly, letting out a slow breath. “yeah.” then, after a beat, you added, “just needed a minute.”

chris nodded like he understood, like he wasn’t about to push you for more than you were willing to give. “jake’s an idiot,” he said casually, like it was just a fact of life. “and felix… well.” he paused, tapping his fingers against the counter. “he’s felix.”

you let out a short laugh at that. “yeah. he is.”

chris tilted his head slightly, studying you. “you’re not mad at him.” it wasn’t a question.

“no,” you admitted. “i’m not.”

“then what is it?”

you hesitated, glancing down at your drink. chris waited, patient as ever, letting you take your time.

"i'm just... confused," you admitted, your fingers tightening slightly around your glass. you weren't even sure how to put it into words.

chris nodded, waiting.

you sighed, running a hand through your hair. “it’s not like i didn’t know felix had a past. we all do. but whenever mabel comes up—even indirectly—it’s like something in him just locks up. he barely ever talks about her, and i never push, but…” you trailed off, shaking your head. “it’s not just avoidance. it’s something else.”

chris was quiet for a moment, rolling his drink between his hands. then, finally, he exhaled. “yeah,” he said simply. “it is. and your feelings are valid, he should be more open, even if it isn't easy.”

your stomach dipped slightly.

that was the thing about chris—he wasn’t the type to sugarcoat things. if he didn’t think there was anything to worry about, he would’ve just said so. but the fact that he wasn’t denying it, wasn’t brushing it off like it was nothing? that meant something.

you leaned forward a little, lowering your voice. “chris… what happened?”

chris’s jaw tensed. not in the way felix’s had upstairs—not as sharp, not as closed-off—but still wary. “it’s not my story to tell,” he said finally.

you exhaled through your nose, nodding even though it frustrated you. of course he’d say that. it was the right thing to say. the loyal thing to say. but it didn’t make this any easier.

chris sighed, rubbing a hand over his face before turning toward you. “look,” he said, voice quieter now. “all i can tell you is… mabel messed him up. more than he lets on. more than you’d think. and felix, he—” he stopped, considering his words carefully. “he doesn’t let people see the things that hurt him. not really. he covers it up with jokes, with that whole ‘nothing bothers me’ thing, but when it comes to her…”

he didn’t finish the sentence. he didn’t have to. you swallowed.

“felix cares about you,” chris continued, his voice firm now. “you know that, right?”

you looked up at him. the sincerity in his gaze, the certainty in his voice—it was enough to make your heart clench.

“yeah, i know. i mean how could i not?” you said, almost scoffing at the thought that you could ever doubt it. “he’s the most caring person i know. he always notices the little things. he makes me feel safe without even trying, and he—” you stopped yourself, exhaling sharply. “goodness, chris, i don’t know how to explain it. it’s just… like it’s second nature to him to care.”

chris was watching you now, his expression soft, a small knowing smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“he always puts others first,” you continued, your voice quieter now. “like, even earlier—he noticed i needed space before i even said a word. he didn’t push, he just—let me go. even if he didn’t want to.” you swallowed, shaking your head. “i don’t know. he just cares so much. i’ve never had that before.”

chris let out a small huff, shaking his head in amusement. “damn,” he murmured, taking a sip of his drink before setting it back down.

you frowned slightly. “what?”

chris smiled, tilting his head at you. “you’re good for him.” his voice was warm, assured. “i mean it. and the way you talk about him—the way you see him—it’s exactly what he needs.”

your chest tightened, emotions swelling up all at once.

then chris’s smile shifted, turning just a little mischievous, a little teasing. “and,” he added, lifting his drink to his lips, “he loves you, you know.”

you froze, your heart coming to a complete halt.

chris took a slow sip of his whiskey like he hadn’t just dropped a bomb in your lap.

your breath caught in your throat. “he said that?”

chris set his glass down, shrugging. “basically.”

your stomach twisted. “chris—”

he held up a hand. “relax, i’m not messing with you.” his voice softened. “he really does.”

you felt like the floor had tilted beneath you. like the weight of the ocean surrounding the yacht had suddenly pressed against your chest, making it hard to breathe.

chris saw the look on your face and huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “c’mon, y/n. you had to know.”

you blinked at him, your fingers tightening around your glass. “i—” you cut yourself off, because what were you supposed to say?

chris gave you a look. “he’s not exactly subtle. the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you to me.” he smirked slightly, but it softened almost immediately. “look, i’ve known felix for a long time. he’s like a little brother to me. felix isn’t the type to throw words around. but he doesn’t have to say it, because everything he does screams it.”

your throat was suddenly dry.

chris exhaled, rubbing a hand over his jaw. “and i’ve seen him go through some shit. but you?” he tilted his head at you. “you make him happy in a way i don’t think he’s ever been before.”

the words settled over you like a wave, rolling into your chest, leaving you breathless.

chris studied your expression, then smirked. “damn, you really didn’t know?”

you swallowed thickly. “i—i guess i just didn’t think about it like that.”

chris shook his head in disbelief, chuckling under his breath. “man. you’re both idiots.”

you rolled your eyes, but before you could say anything, he leaned in slightly, lowering his voice just enough to make you suspicious. “so… have you two, you know—” he wiggled his eyebrows. “gotten really close?”

your body went stiff. “what?”

chris smirked, swirling the ice in his drink. “come on. you know what i mean.”

your mouth opened, then closed. heat rushed to your cheeks as the morning flashed in your mind—felix under you, his hands gripping your waist, the way he groaned into your mouth—

you blinked rapidly, clearing your throat. “how did you know? did felix tell you?”

chris’s smirk widened. “you just did. felix didn’t tell me shit, you gave yourself away.”

your stomach dropped. “i—” a high-pitched squeal escaped you as you smacked your hands over your face, absolutely mortified. “oh my god.”

chris leaned back, grinning. “only if you wanna say—when did this happen? felix just said you two were taking it slow.”

you shifted awkwardly, looking away. “this morning.”

chris blinked. then his eyes widened. “oh no.”

you frowned. “what do you mean, oh no?”

“was it bad?”

your mouth fell open. “chris—”

he winced dramatically. “i mean, first time stuff can be awkward—”

“chris,” you hissed. “we barely did anything.”

his expression shifted instantly. “oh.” then, after a beat, he grinned again. “guess i’ll have to ask felix for details, then.”

you gasped, smacking his arm. “i’m going upstairs.”

chris just laughed, shaking his head as you turned to storm away. but before you could leave completely, his voice softened slightly. “hey.”

you glanced back over your shoulder.

chris gave you a knowing smile. “felix will tell you he loves you, alright? i can see it. he’s itching to tell you. it’s only a matter of time before he does.”

your heart skipped.

felix loves you.

felix loves you.

felix loves you.

then why won’t he be open about his past?

day 6 - 19:00

you had a plan.

tonight, under the sunset, you would tell felix you loved him.

the thought had settled in your chest like a quiet storm all afternoon. after what chris had said, after realizing that felix loved you too—even if he hadn’t said it yet—you couldn’t hold it in any longer. you didn’t want to.

and really, what better time than now?

this was your last full day here. tomorrow, you’d be finished packing up, saying goodbye to this beach house and everything it had come to mean to you. the golden mornings filled with lazy cuddles, the afternoons spent chasing each other through the waves, the quiet nights where you’d sit on the deck with your feet propped up on his lap, listening to the ocean hum in the distance.

felix had shown you so much here—his favorite hidden cove where the water turned impossibly blue, the little bagel shack at the harbour, and all his friends here. he’d shown you how to skim stones across the water and how to make a bonfire without completely embarrassing yourself.

but more than that, he’d shown you himself. the way he scrunched his nose when something was too sweet, how he’d rest his chin on your shoulder whenever he was tired, how his fingers would search for yours without even thinking.

and maybe, if you said it, if you put it out into the world, he would finally let you see the parts of himself he kept tucked away. he would tell you about his past he never talked about, something he carried with quiet restraint. but maybe—just maybe—loving him out loud would mean he’d trust you enough to let you in.

and you wanted to say it.

you wanted to tell him you loved him while the sky burned orange and the waves kissed the shore. you wanted to see his face when you said it, wanted to feel the weight of the moment settle between you, warm and safe.

it would be perfect.

you were curled up on his bed, scrolling through the hundreds of pictures you’d taken this week. a snapshot of felix, kissing your hand at beautiful cove. another of him squinting at a bagel like it had personally offended him. one of your intertwined hands, his rings catching the sunlight just right.

you smiled to yourself. every moment of this trip had been carved into your heart, and tonight—you’d make it real. you’d tell him.

but for now, you just watched.

felix was in full gamer mode, legs sprawled out under his desk, fingers dancing over his keyboard like a concert pianist about to demolish a grand finale. his headset was crooked, one side slightly lifted so he could hear both you and chris, who was currently on the other end of the call right across the street, swearing up a storm.

“bro, you’re actually trash,” felix barked, his accent thick, laughter laced in his words as he mashed at his keyboard. his fingers moved with a speed you’d never understand, the mechanical clacking of his keys blending with the occasional pop of gunfire from his headset. 

a pause. then a wicked grin split across his face.

“boom! get fucked.”

chris groaned into felix’s headset. “oh, fuck off!” although you couldn’t hear it, you could imagine how furious he was. 

felix only laughed harder, head tipping back slightly, leaning back in his chair with that shit-eating grin he always got when he was winning. felix sat cross-legged in his gaming chair, completely in his element. his tongue peeked out slightly as he focused, knee bouncing, fingers drumming against the desk between rounds. he was so completely himself like this, and god, you loved him.

felix let out a sharp laugh, “maybe if you weren’t built like a bloody traffic cone, you’d actually dodge a shot for once,” he shot back, eyes crinkled at the corners, boyish and flushed with adrenaline. 

the headset sat snug around his messy blond hair, his black hoodie fitting perfectly against his frame, and the silver chain he always wore glinted under the soft light of the monitor. he looked so felix, so yours, and it made something in your chest tighten.

you pushed yourself off the bed, moving toward him. he was still half-laughing, half-taunting chris when you reached up and slipped your fingers under the mic arm of his headset, gently pushing it away from his lips. his voice cut off instantly. his head snapped toward you, eyes locking onto yours like gravity had just shifted, like you had become the only thing in the room that mattered.

everything else—the game, chris, the entire world—ceased to exist.

his lips were parted, a soft breath escaping as he took you in, the way you’d moved closer, the way your gaze flickered down to his mouth. his hand fell from his mouse, resting on his leg, but you could see the way his fingers twitched—like they wanted to reach for you.

leaning in, you pressed your lips to his, slow at first, hesitant, like you were afraid he might pull away. but felix never would. he inhaled sharply, surprised, but the moment his brain caught up with his heart, he melted.

a quiet sound rumbled from his chest as he kissed you back, one hand coming up to cup your jaw, thumb brushing over your cheek. the taste of spearmint gum lingered on his lips, and the warmth of him—his skin, his breath, the way he was already tilting his head to deepen the kiss—made your heart stutter.

somewhere in the background, chris was still talking.

felix pulled back slightly, barely an inch, his forehead pressing against yours. his breath was uneven, but his voice—low, rough, like he hadn’t quite recovered—was steady.

“oi, chris,” he muttered into the mic, his eyes still locked onto yours. “i’m off, man.”

chris scoffed. “what? you scared now?”

felix’s lips curled into a smirk. “nah. just got something more important.”

“oh?” chris’s tone shifted, teasing, laced with that knowing edge only a best friend could manage. “ohhh.”

felix’s smirk deepened, his eyes never leaving yours, dark and shining with something that made your chest tighten, your stomach flip.

“bye, chris,” he said, dragging out the words just enough to make his point. then, with a swift flick of his wrist, he yanked the headset off, letting it fall onto the desk with a soft thud. 

you let out a breathless laugh, “you could’ve kept playing, you know,” you murmured. your fingers traced the edge of his hoodie absentmindedly. “i would’ve been quiet.”

felix’s hands found the bottom of your shirt, pulling you closer until your knees brushed against his, and his breath fanned across your face. his eyes flicked down to your lips, then back up.

“yeah,” he whispered, his voice low, almost like it was a secret just for you. “but i wouldn’t.”

felix’s eyes fluttered shut just before your lips met, his lashes dark against the warm flush of his cheeks. you could feel the faint hitch in his breath, the way his fingers tensed slightly at the hem of your shirt like he was grounding himself in the feel of you, right here, right now.

and when your lips touched it wasn’t rushed. it was deliberate. careful. 

his lips closed around yours like the feel of your mouth was something he’d been craving without even realizing it. you could feel the way his breath hitched again, his chest pressing into yours as his hands slid higher, his thumbs grazing the skin just beneath your shirt, sending a shiver down your spine.

the kiss deepened, his tongue brushing lightly against your bottom lip before retreating, like he was testing, teasing, waiting for you to meet him halfway. and you did. your lips moved in sync, slow but deliberate, like you were both trying to etch the memory of this moment into your skin. you felt his fingers tighten slightly at your waist, pulling you impossibly closer, until there was no space left between you. his mouth opened again, coaxing yours apart, and the gentle slide of his tongue against yours sent heat pooling low in your stomach.

you pulled away, but you didn’t go far—your forehead still rested against his, and you could feel the warmth of his breath mingling with yours, the ghost of his lips still tingling on your skin. his hands stayed at your waist, thumbs brushing soft circles into your sides like he wasn’t ready to let go. you pursed your lips for a second, trying to push it down, but the words slipped out anyway, soft and a little sad.

“i’m gonna miss you when i leave tomorrow.”

felix’s eyes opened slowly, and for a second, he just stared at you, his expression unreadable. but then he exhaled, this quiet, almost defeated little breath.

“i’ve been trying not to think about it,” he murmured, his voice low.

you couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh and felix smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering against your cheek. his gaze softened, the sadness in his eyes tempered by something steadier, more certain.

“i’ll only be staying here with my parents for a few days after you leave,” he said quietly, his thumb tracing the line of your jaw, like he needed to touch you while he said it, like that would make it more real. “and then… once i get back to sydney, we can see each other again.”

the way he said it—like it was a promise, like there was no if in the equation, only when—made your chest tighten in a different way. you leaned into his touch, closing your eyes for a moment, letting the warmth of his words settle over you.

“it’s not just that,” you murmured, voice barely above a whisper. “i just… i don’t wanna leave this place.” you glanced past him toward the window, where the faint outline of the beach was just visible, the waves still whispering against the shore. “i’m jealous you get to stay.”

felix’s brow shot up, and for a second, he just stared at you, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. then he let out a sharp scoff, shaking his head as a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“oh, wow,” he drawled, his accent thicker now, laced with disbelief. his hand dropped from your jaw to your waist, squeezing gently as he leaned back just enough to get a better look at you. “so it’s not because you’ll be apart from your poor boyfriend?” he arched a brow, lips twitching as he fought to keep a straight face. “it’s just ‘cause you’ve gotten attached to my vacation house?”

you burst out laughing, the sound spilling from your chest before you could stop it. his mock-offended tone, the way his eyes sparkled like he was enjoying every second of teasing you—it was impossible not to. you swatted lightly at his chest, but he didn’t budge, his grin only widening as he leaned in closer again, his nose brushing against yours.

“i mean…” you teased back, your voice soft but laced with the same playful energy. “have you seen this place? the beach is right there, and the boat, and—”

“oh, my god,” felix groaned dramatically, letting his head fall back with a loud, exaggerated sigh. “you’re unbelievable.” but he was laughing too, that deep, warm sound that always made your chest feel too small for your heart.

you watched him for a second, the curve of his smile, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, and that ache in your chest shifted. it really wasn’t about the house. it was him. and he knew that. you reached up, letting your fingers tangle in the loose curls at the nape of his neck, and his laughter softened, fading into something quieter, more tender. 

“but seriously,” you whispered, your thumb brushing along his jawline. “i’m gonna miss you.”

“i’m really gonna miss this,” you breathed out again, but the words kept coming, tumbling out like you couldn’t stop them even if you tried. “i’m gonna miss the sunsets, and getting drunk whenever we’re near the sim twins, and tanning until i’m almost sunburned…” you let out a soft laugh, shaking your head slightly at the memories. “but only because you were there. because you were with me.”

his lips twitched, but he didn’t say anything. he just kept looking at you, nodding, like every word was something precious he didn’t want to miss.

“i’ll miss falling asleep to the sound of the waves,” you continued, your voice quieter now, almost like you were sharing a secret just for him. “but only because it felt better with you next to me.”

you saw it before he even realized it himself—the slight glassiness in his eyes, the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. his lips parted like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. instead, his chest rose with a shaky breath, and you caught the faint shimmer of tears welling up, clinging stubbornly to his lashes.

your heart clenched, and you whispered, soft and tentative, “felix?”

he blinked, like your voice had pulled him out of some deep, unspoken place. his lips twitched into a wobbly half-smile, like he was trying to hold it together, but it wasn’t really working.

“i—” he started, but his voice cracked just slightly, betraying him. he let out a breath, shaky and uneven, and scrubbed a hand over his face like that could somehow erase the emotion swimming just beneath the surface. “i don’t know why i’m getting so emotional.” his laugh was soft, almost self-deprecating. “you’re just… you’re such a sweet girl, and i…”

he trailed off, the words hanging there between you, heavy and unfinished. you knew what he wanted to say. you could feel it in the way his eyes searched yours, in the way his breath hitched like the weight of it was pressing against his ribs. but he didn’t say it—not yet. instead, he let out another shaky breath, like he was trying to hold something in that was too big to keep.

your hands moved before your mind even caught up, cradling his face between your palms, your thumbs brushing gently over the sharp edges of his cheekbones. his skin was warm, flushed, and the faint stubble under your fingertips only grounded you more in the reality of this moment.

without a word, you pulled him into you, guiding his head down until his face skimmed the crook of your neck, right where your shoulder met your throat. he didn’t resist. he melted into you like he’d been waiting for this exact thing.

your fingers moved instinctively, threading through his soft locks, nails grazing lightly against his scalp. he let out a quiet breath, the tension in his body easing just enough for you to feel the shift, like the touch of your hands anchored him in something safe, something solid. you tilted your head slightly, pressing a gentle kiss to the damp skin of his cheek, right near the edge of his jaw. the salt from his tears mixed with the warmth of his skin, and the taste of that moment lingered on your lips.

for a while, neither of you spoke. the room was filled with the soft hum of the ocean outside, the distant cries of gulls, and the steady beat of his heart against your chest. but the sun was dipping lower, and you could feel time slipping through your fingers, faster than you wanted.

you whispered into the quiet, your lips brushing against his skin, “do you wanna go watch the sunset?”

this wasn’t just any sunset. you both knew that. it was the last one before tomorrow came, before bags were packed and goodbyes hung heavy in the air. you felt the faintest nod against your shoulder, the way his breath caught in his throat like he was still trying to find the words that wouldn’t come. but then he pulled back, just enough to meet your gaze.

his eyes were still glassy, rimmed red, but softer now, like the weight of whatever had been pressing down on him had eased, even if just a little. he nodded again, more certain this time. “yeah,” he whispered, his voice steady. “let’s go.”

you smiled, a soft curve of your lips that you didn’t even try to hide. felix stood up, his hand still wrapped in yours, and the warmth of his touch anchored you in a way words never could. then, without saying anything more, you both turned and stepped out of his room.

the hallway greeted you with the familiar creak of the old wooden floorboards, a sound that had somehow become comforting over the past days. the walls were painted in soft, sun-worn colors—sky blues and sandy beiges, kissed by the salty air and the years they’d weathered together. you let your eyes wander over the little details you’d grown to love in this house: the framed photos lining the hall, each capturing a different summer, the same faces smiling against the backdrop of this very beach. the faint scent of saltwater and sunscreen clung to everything, blending with the warmth of the evening air that drifted in through the open windows.

your fingers traced over the ridges of the whitewashed walls as you passed, each texture grounding you deeper into the reality of leaving soon. the house felt alive, like it had soaked in all the laughter, the whispered confessions, the quiet mornings and loud nights.

you reached the back door to the deck, felix’s fingers still laced with yours, warm and grounding. then, with a gentle push, you stepped out into the open air, and the house seemed to exhale behind you, releasing you into the waiting arms of the evening.

the door creaked softly as felix closed it behind you, the soft click of the latch sealing away the memories within those walls. the warmth of the evening wrapped around you like a second skin, the salty breeze rolling in from the ocean, tousling your hair and brushing against your cheeks.

the deck stretched out beneath your feet, its weathered wood cool against your bare skin. the soft golden light from the setting sun spilled across the planks, casting long shadows that danced with the rhythm of the waves. you took a slow breath, letting the familiar scent of saltwater and sun-soaked wood fill your lungs, grounding you in this moment.

felix’s hand tightened in yours as you moved toward the steps, his thumb brushing lazy circles against your skin. you both descended the wooden staircase, your steps slow and unhurried. there was no rush tonight. no teasing or laughing or sprinting to see who could reach the shore first. 

as your feet touched the cool, soft sand, the world seemed to open up before you. the ocean stretched out endlessly, its surface shimmering with the fiery hues of the sunset. the sky was a masterpiece, painted with streaks of orange and pink, deep purples bleeding into the horizon where the sun kissed the edge of the water. the waves rolled in slow and steady, their gentle rhythm a heartbeat that matched your own.

it was breathtaking—everything you could’ve hoped for and more.

you led felix a little further down the beach, the sand cool and soft between your toes, until you found the perfect spot. with a soft sigh, you lowered yourself onto the sand, the grains warm beneath you from the day’s heat. you patted the spot beside you, a silent invitation, and felix sank down next to you without hesitation, his knee brushing against yours, his presence a comforting weight at your side.

for a while, neither of you spoke. you just sat there, side by side, watching as the sun slipped lower and lower, half-submerged beneath the horizon. the sky burned with color, reflecting off the water’s surface in a dazzling display that felt like it was just for you two. the sound of the waves crashing gently against the shore filled the space between you, a soothing, familiar melody.

you turned your head slightly, stealing a glance at felix. the golden light of the setting sun bathed his face, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw, the curve of his nose, and the softness in his eyes. he was staring out at the horizon, his expression thoughtful, almost reverent, like he was trying to etch this moment into his memory.

“i’ve been thinking,” you murmured, the words barely louder than the waves. “about us. about how much we’ve changed this past week.”

felix exhaled a small laugh, shaking his head as he glanced at you. “you say that like it’s even a question.”

you turned, searching his face. “what do you think?”

his lips curled, soft and knowing. “i think it’s a given.” his gaze drifted back toward the water, the light in his eyes reflecting the last golden streaks of dusk. “on the first day, we barely knew how to kiss.” his thumb traced lazy circles against the back of your hand. “and this morning… we decided that we trusted each other.”

your fingers curled tighter around his. “i’ve never felt that way about anyone before,” you admitted, voice soft, like saying it too loud might break the fragile truth of it. “you just make me feel like myself.”

felix turned to you fully now, his brows knitting slightly like your words meant more to him than you even realized. then, without a word, he lifted your intertwined hands and pressed a slow, lingering kiss to your knuckles.

the words left your lips before you even realized you’d spoken them aloud. they carried the weight of everything you felt, everything you had been too afraid to name until now.

“and i love you, felix.”

at that exact moment, the last sliver of the sun dipped beneath the horizon, plunging the sky into darkness. 

felix stilled.

completely.

he was horrified. not even speechless in the way someone might be when they hear something beautiful for the first time. no—felix looked like you had just ripped the ground out from beneath his feet.

his mouth opened, but nothing came out. his lips parted, pressed together again, then parted once more, like he was trying to form words and failing miserably. his pupils were blown wide, and even in the dim light, you could see the way his skin had gone pale, save for the flush creeping up his neck, staining his ears. his brows were drawn tight, his jaw clenched so hard you could see the tension ripple beneath his skin.

you furrowed your brows, the weight of his silence pressing down on you like a stone sinking into your chest.

you had expected something—anything.

a smile. a whispered, “me too.” 

even just his hand tightening around yours, reassuring you that he was here, that he felt it too.

but he did nothing.

absolutely nothing.

the silence stretched between you, thick and suffocating, drowning out the sound of the waves, the distant cry of gulls, even the steady rhythm of your own breathing.

slowly, you pulled your hand away from his and his hand went limp.

you forced a small, reassuring smile, though it felt wobbly at the edges. your voice came out softer than you wanted, but you tried to keep it light, tried to reach for him in the way he wouldn’t reach for you.

“felix,” you coaxed, tilting your head slightly, “say something.”

nothing.

his mouth was still slightly open, his lips parted like he was trying to find the words, but none came. his throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly, his adam’s apple moving with the effort. his hands curled into loose fists against his thighs, and you swore you saw the faintest tremor run through them.

your smile faltered.

then, slowly, it disappeared altogether.

the fear settled in first, threading through your chest like an unraveling string. not fear of him, no—never him—but of what this silence meant.

you searched his face for something, anything, but all you found was that same wide-eyed horror, that same frozen, deer-in-the-headlights look like he had just seen something he wasn’t ready to face.

“…felix?” you tried again, quieter this time, like maybe if you spoke softer, he’d hear you better.

the hurt settled in next, sinking deep into your chest like an anchor. you inhaled sharply, the sound almost too loud in the quiet between you. your hands clenched at your sides as you searched his face one last time, desperate for something—anything—to tell you that this wasn’t what it seemed. 

“i’m sorry,” felix whispered.

and your stomach dropped.

“no, felix, no” you murmured, shaking your head, like somehow that could undo it, could erase the weight of those words before they could settle in too deep.

you pushed yourself up, your legs unsteady beneath you, but you barely noticed. all you could feel was the aching pulse behind your ribs, the raw sting spreading through your chest like an open wound. felix reached for you, his hand lifting, fingers outstretched—desperate, pleading—even as he remained where he was, still sitting in the sand.

his fingertips barely brushed against yours, but you didn’t pull back. not yet.

“i’m sorry,” he said again, softer this time, almost breaking on the words.

your breath trembled as you exhaled.

“then say something, felix,” you whispered. “stop apologizing and say something.”

his hand tightened just slightly around yours, like he was clinging to the last bit of space between you. his lips parted, his chest rising with a sharp inhale, and for a second—a single second—you thought maybe, just maybe, he was about to say what you so desperately needed to hear. but then his breath hitched and that was all you needed to know. the last sliver of hope unraveled inside you as you pulled your hand away.

the night sky stretched endlessly above you, dark and infinite, stars scattered across it like delicate brushstrokes of light. it was beautiful—blissfully unbeknownst to the storm unraveling beneath it, indifferent to the weight of the silence you left behind.

you didn’t look back. you didn’t dare.

your steps felt heavy as you made your way back up the worn wooden steps to the house, the distant hum of the waves fading behind you. the deck creaked beneath your feet, the same sound that once felt comforting now just another noise swallowed by the ache in your chest.

inside, the house was quiet. you walked past everything—the hallway lined with framed summer memories, the couch where you and felix had tangled together, laughing over something neither of you could remember now. every space carried something, some fragment of him, some piece of you and him.

your fingers curled around the doorknob of the guest bedroom, and you pushed the door open, stepping into the darkness. you closed the door behind you, the latch clicking softly into place, sealing you in with the weight of everything that had just happened.

the bedside lamp flickered to life with a soft click, casting a dim, golden glow across the room. you sank down onto the bed, the mattress dipping beneath you, and placed your hands in your lap.

and then—before you even realized it—your vision blurred.

tears threatened to spill, welling up faster than you could stop them, faster than you could pretend they weren’t there. a quiet sob escaped your lips as you brought your hands up to your face, pressing your palms against your cheeks. 

you wiped your tears with the heel of your hand, and your breath was shaky, uneven, your chest still rising and falling in stuttered, broken movements. you were almost angry. it was quiet, simmering just beneath the surface, bleeding into the sadness in a way that made your stomach turn.

because he had told you he loved you once. when he was drunk off cheap the night of the bonfire, he had said it. 

you were angry because he took care of you. last night, when you had woken up from a nightmare, body trembling, breath shallow—he had been there. he had held you, whispered reassurances into your hair, traced circles on your back until your heartbeat slowed. he cared.

you were even angry because chris—felix’s best friend, the person who probably knew him better than anyone—had told you that felix loved you. so why had that just happened? why did he look so horrified, so lost, when you said it?

your face crumpled as another sob broke free, raw and aching. you wrapped your arms around yourself, squeezing your own sides as if you could somehow keep yourself together. you then pushed yourself up from the bed, your legs unsteady but moving anyway, driven by something you didn’t fully understand.

you grabbed your suitcase from where it sat untouched in the corner of the room and dragged it toward the shelves. you had unpacked a week ago, placing your clothes neatly in the drawers, letting yourself belong here. now, you shoved them back into your suitcase with trembling hands, tears slipping silently down your cheeks, dripping onto the fabric.

it hurt.

it hurt so much.

felix was still on the beach, curled in on himself, the damp sand cool beneath him. the night had swallowed the last bit of sunlight, leaving the sky a deep, endless black, stars scattered across it like pinpricks of light, oblivious to the way everything inside him felt like it was caving in. the waves rolled in and out, their rhythm steady, constant—so unlike the chaos in his chest. his hood was pulled low over his face, the fabric bunched in his fists, like if he held onto something tight enough, he could anchor himself. but nothing could ground him right now.

because he had fucked up.

he had seen the way your smile faded, how the light in your eyes dimmed as the silence stretched between you. he had seen the hurt settle into your face, the confusion, the sadness, the way you had tried—tried—to get him to say something, anything. but he had just sat there, useless, his own fear strangling him. the deep, painful ache in his chest wasn’t just from what had just happened—it was from the weight of memories that still clung to him like a shadow, refusing to let him go.

mabel.

her name was a curse, a reminder of the time when he had believed in love with the same reckless abandon he’d once used to trust. his mind drifted back to that night with mabel, the night he had made the mistake of saying “i think i love you”.

her blue eyes had glinted in that same way they always did when she wanted something, when she wanted to twist him, break him just a little bit more. she had smiled, sweet and false, and as he sat there, trembling on the edge of her bed, she leaned in close, her breath warm against his ear.

“say it again,” she had whispered, her voice honey-sweet, but there was something darker underneath it.

“i love you,” felix had said, each word a strange, foreign thing in his mouth.

"again," she whispered, her lips curling into a teasing smile. 

he hesitated. a small spark of doubt flickered in his chest, but it was quickly drowned out by the overwhelming need to please her, to make her happy, to be enough. but as the words lingered on the tip of his tongue, his mind started to clear, and a knot formed in his stomach.

this wasn’t right.

but mabel didn’t wait. she leaned in closer, her breath warm against his ear, and her laugh echoed softly through the dim room.

“do you need me to make it easier for you? because if you’re going to say it, i need to hear it loud and clear.”

felix’s heart pounded in his ears. the three words felt so wrong now, so meaningless when they were forced out of him. he could feel the pressure mounting in his chest as he forced himself to speak, as though the words were choking him. "i love you," he repeated, the words sour in his mouth, but he felt the need to say them, like some kind of duty, a demand he had to fulfill.

mabel’s smile widened, but it wasn’t the smile of someone who was moved, who was touched by the confession. no, it was the smile of someone who had just won, someone who had gotten exactly what she wanted.

her fingers fluttered lightly along his arm, her touch cold and distant, as she sighed theatrically. “i like hearing you say it,” she said, but there was no warmth in her voice, only a carefully veiled condescension. “now, if you really love me, felix,” her eyes narrowed, flicking up to meet his with that sharp, calculating gaze. "don’t you think that love should be about doing things for me, not just saying the words?"

her laugh, that soft, tinkling sound, was the final blow. she wasn’t cruel, not in the way that would make him immediately recoil. she was too careful, too precise in her cruelty. her words were always sugar-coated, like a gentle slap to the face, so that no one could accuse her of being mean. but that’s how she had always controlled him—by making him feel inferior, by manipulating him into believing that he needed to be more for her to love him. and the worst part? everyone else loved her. they saw the perfect, angelic girl who could do no wrong, the one who seemed to float above all the drama, the one who would smile at you and touch your hand, but who would leave you questioning every part of yourself long after she had walked away.

he thought she loved him when she’d tell him, with that same sweet, fake expression, that his insecurities were unattractive. that he’d never be good enough for her unless he changed, unless he made himself into something she wanted. he had thought he loved her when she’d turned every small argument into a war, talking down on him until he broke down, begging for forgiveness, even when he had done nothing wrong.

felix hadn’t told anyone about mabel. not his friends, not his parents, not even the people he spent the most time with. no one in his life knew that he had once been tangled in the mess of her, that he had spent months caught in the twisted dance of her manipulation.

the only one who knew, the only person who had seen the real mabel—who knew what she had done to him—was chris. chris, who had always been the one to watch over felix, who had always seen the cracks in him before anyone else did. chris, who had quietly become the one person felix could turn to, even if it meant acknowledging the things he tried so hard to bury.

he dragged a hand through his hair, his heart heavy with regret, with the sting of his own failure. it felt like he was drowning in it, in the knowledge that he had pushed you away when you had needed him most.

and he knew, deep down, that this wasn’t something he could fix with just words. he could apologize until his throat was raw, but the damage was done. you were already walking away, and no matter how much he wished he could take back that moment on the beach, it was too late.

he had lost you.

[pixiefelixie]

guys the next chapter of remember this summer will be NSFW so please read with caution. if yall want i could add an extra link to the masterlist with an sfw version??

[pixiefelixie]

𓆝..°°𓈒 ⋆ (필릭스) : REMEMBER THIS SUMMER "THURSDAY"

𓆉 °°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ synopsis felix is living the summer every teenager dreams of, with a perfect beach house on the east coast of australia and an even more perfect girlfriend. by taking the best of both worlds, felix invites her to experience the world he grew up in to make this the best summer ever. amidst bonfires, romantic sunsets, and seagulls, felix has one goal this summer: to finally tell her he loves her. with just one week to do so, felix is met with a challenge to make his feelings known before time runs out. 

pairing: nonidol!felix x fem!reader, series warnings: felix + reader are intended to be 17-18, established relationship, fluff, blood tw! (nosebleed), extra long chapter this week important notes: The content of this work is purely fictional and is not intended to endorse or encourage any behavior, especially among minors, that may be deemed inappropriate or unsafe. This story is created solely for entertainment purposes and should be understood as fiction. Reader discretion is advised.

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chapter under the cut! ~18k words

day 5 - 8:00

the rain wept against the windows, silver streaks tracing ephemeral paths down the glass, blurring the world beyond into a watercolor dream of grays and blues. the sky hung heavy, stretched like damp silk over the restless sea, the waves rolling in slow, sleepy undulations. you stood by the window, arms loosely folded around yourself, watching as droplets merged and parted—tiny rivers colliding and splitting apart, like the way your thoughts tangled, unraveled, and knotted again. the beach stretched out below, the waves churning softly under the darkened sky, a stormy beauty that still managed to captivate you. the world outside felt hushed, like the storm had pressed a finger to its lips, demanding quiet. 

felix had already been up, slipping away earlier to take a shower. you’d heard the faint creak of his door as he’d retreated to his room afterward. you found yourself moving, feet barely making a sound against the floorboards as you crossed the living room. when you reached his door, you hesitated, fingers ghosting over the wood before giving a soft knock.

“come in,” came his voice, low and familiar, slightly muffled by the barrier between you.

you pushed the door open, stepping into his room just as he was pulling a shirt over his head. the fabric slid down slowly, revealing a fleeting glimpse of his toned stomach, the sculpted lines that had never caught your attention quite like this before. the shirt settled into place, hugging his frame, and your breath hitched. you’d seen him shirtless so many times before—at the beach, wandering casually around the house—but now, something about it felt... different.

felix ran a hand through his still-damp hair, stray droplets sliding down his temples, catching the light. he looked at you then, lips curling into that familiar smile. “hey.”

“hi, felix,” you said softly, your voice carrying an edge of shyness you hadn’t expected.

you crossed the room and when you reached him, you wrapped your arms around his middle, pressing your cheek to his chest. his damp hair clung in wild streaks to his forehead, droplets sliding down his temples like they envied the way his cheekbones caught the light. the faintest sheen of moisture made his skin glow, and the cotton of his oversized t-shirt draped over his torso. you could see the faint trace of his collarbone, the way his neck tensed—was he always this... hot?

what was happening to you?

felix’s arms were around you before you could even register the shift, his touch feather-light but deliberate. his hands settled on your shoulders first, then slid up slowly to cup your face. his thumbs brushed along your jawline, his fingers curving to cradle you as though you were made of something fragile and precious. the way he tilted his head sent a ripple of heat down your spine—his lips parting slightly, his gaze flickering down to your mouth before rising to meet your eyes again. time slowed, and for a moment, you could feel the air shift between you, charged and heavy with something you couldn’t name but felt all the way to your core.

and then he leaned in.

his lips were soft, warm, and the gentleness of the kiss only magnified the intensity building inside you. you melted into him, your hands gripping the fabric of his shirt like it was the only thing keeping you upright.

it was innocent, a kiss that carried no expectations, but the effect it had on you was anything but. the room spun, every sensation heightened—his scent wrapping around you like a cocoon, the warmth of his hands against your skin, the steady beat of his heart you could still feel beneath your palms. your chest tightened, your breath coming in shallow gasps as you leaned into the kiss, letting it consume you. 

when felix pulled back, his lips curved up into a soft smile, his gaze catching yours for just a second longer than necessary, and then he straightened, letting his hands fall casually to his sides. he chuckled lightly, breaking the silence with a voice so effortlessly casual it almost made you doubt what had just happened. “good morning,” he said, his tone warm, like the kiss had been no more significant than a passing breeze.

your heart hammered against your ribs as you stared at him, blinking, trying to piece together how something so fleeting had felt like the ground beneath you shifting. he reached up, running a hand through his damp hair again, his eyes flicking toward the window where rain was softly streaking down the glass.

“looks like it’s been pouring all morning,” he said, his voice light, conversational, as though he hadn’t just stolen the breath from your lungs and left your world tilted on its axis. “i was planning to go for a run, but…” he gestured lazily toward the window, shrugging, the motion causing his shirt to ride up just enough to reveal a flash of skin.

“hmm?” you managed to murmur when you realized he was looking at you, waiting for some kind of response. his expression was relaxed, open, like nothing had changed for him. maybe it hadn’t. maybe it was just you, your every nerve ending suddenly tuned to felix, every touch, every word from him magnified to a point you could barely handle.

“yeah,” you said, though you weren’t sure what you were agreeing to. 

felix chuckled, the sound low and warm, and it rippled through you like the aftershock of an earthquake. you wanted to say something, anything to fill the silence stretching between you, but words felt clumsy and irrelevant.

before you could gather yourself, a sharp crack of thunder split the air, so loud and sudden that both of you jolted. your eyes widened, and you caught felix doing the same, his hand instinctively shooting out to steady himself against the edge of the window ledge. he turned to look at you, his lips twitching into a crooked grin as he shook his head. “did not see that coming,” he said, his voice tinged with laughter.

the rain outside had escalated from a steady rhythm to a full-blown torrent. sheets of water streaked down the glass, blurring the world beyond into a wash of grays and blues with the palm tree fronds being violently pulled by the wind. felix shifted closer to the window, his brows knitting together as he peered out. you moved to stand beside him, the two of you now shoulder to shoulder, watching as the wind hurled rain against the window with an almost violent intensity. lightning lit up the sky in a brief, jagged flash, followed closely by another deep rumble of thunder that seemed to shake the very walls.

“feels like the kind of storm you’d see in a movie,” you muttered quietly, as if speaking too loudly might provoke the tempest outside. his hand brushed against yours where it rested on the windowsill, the contact so fleeting that it could have been accidental—but it still sent a spark racing up your arm.

felix’s eyes lit up so suddenly that it startled you. his mouth parted slightly, and he turned to you with an intensity that made your breath catch. you knew that look—the one he got when an idea hit him out of nowhere, so consuming that nothing else existed.

“what?” you asked, already wary.

he didn’t answer right away. his gaze flicked between your face and the window, as if piecing something together in his head. then, a slow grin spread across his face—one of those mischievous, boyish ones that always meant trouble.

before you could demand an explanation, felix grabbed the hem of his shirt and, without hesitation, yanked it over his head.

your brain short-circuited.

“what the—felix?!” the words tumbled out of you before you could stop them, your voice slightly higher than normal.

he shook out his damp hair like a golden retriever, completely unbothered. the stormy light filtering through the window cast soft shadows over his collarbones, the lean, toned lines of his stomach. a stray drop of water slid down his neck, tracing a slow, meandering path across his chest. you absolutely should not have been watching it.

but you were.

heat crept up your neck, betraying you completely.

“felix?” you blinked, trying to snap yourself out of it as he suddenly bolted for the hallway like a man on a mission. “what are you—?”

“we need to go out there right now!” he called over his shoulder, voice practically vibrating with excitement.

you frowned, still rooted in place. “huh?”

felix didn’t wait to explain. he skidded to a stop outside the storage room and flung the door open with a flourish, vanishing inside before you could get another word in. the faint sound of clattering echoed down the hall. seconds later, he reappeared, grinning like he’d just unearthed buried treasure. in his hands were two surfboards, one propped under his armpit and the other held out toward you like some kind of offering.

“the waves!” he said, his words tumbling out in an excited rush. “they’re gonna be amazing with this storm coming in! we can’t miss it!”

you stared at him, incredulous. “you want to surf? in this weather?” you gestured toward the window. the wind whipped through the palm trees with a ferocity that sent fronds flying, and the dark clouds above promised nothing short of chaos. it looked like the kind of storm that fishermen whispered about in seaside bars.

felix nodded, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “exactly! you don’t get waves like this every day,” he said.

you let out a disbelieving laugh, shaking your head. “you’re insane,” you muttered, though the familiar tug of excitement in your chest was already betraying you. felix had this... thing about him, this ability to make even the most ridiculous ideas sound like the kind of adventures you’d regret not taking. and maybe that’s why you found yourself leaning into his chaos more often than not.

“come on!” he urged, bouncing on the balls of his feet now. he extended the second surfboard toward you, shaking it slightly like he thought you might be tempted by the sheer proximity of it.

you crossed your arms, narrowing your eyes at him. “if we get electrocuted, it’s your fault.”

“deal,” he said immediately, his grin only growing wider as if you’d just signed up for the time of your life.

with a resigned sigh, you gave in, peeling off your t-shirt and shorts to reveal your swimsuit beneath. it has become second nature to wear it under your clothes while staying at the beach. the cool air brushed against your skin, sending a shiver up your spine, but it was nothing compared to the way felix was looking at you.

his eyes lingered for a heartbeat too long, a small, lopsided smile tugging at his lips. he opened his mouth like he might say something, then seemed to think better of it. instead, he simply leaned in, his voice dropping to a soft whisper, barely audible over the howling wind outside. “come on,” he said, the words carrying an almost conspiratorial tone as you took the board out of his hand.

felix barely hit the back door before it flung open, the wind catching it hard. the storm outside roared to life, rain hammering down in thick sheets. the second your foot hit the sand, the cold punched through you like a live wire, drenching your clothes in an instant.

"shit—!" the shock forced a yelp out of you, but then—then the thrill took over. the chaos of it, the sting of cold rain against your skin, the wildness of the wind tearing through the night. laughter bubbled up before you could stop it. the kind of laughter that made your ribs ache, that made the storm feel less like a warning and more like an invitation.

felix, already a soaked mess, chuckled back, his hair plastered to his forehead in dark, dripping strands. the rain didn't seem to faze him at all. it was as if the storm made everything more alive, more real. you followed him down the stairs, your feet slipping slightly on the wet steps as the rain came down harder.

felix was already running toward the shore, his enthusiasm infecting every step. the wet sand squelched beneath his feet as he picked up speed. he put down his board with a soft thud, tossing it onto the sand. his laughter rang out, mixing with the roar of the storm as he threw his arms wide to embrace the pouring rain.

"race you!" you shouted over the sound of the crashing waves, a wide grin spreading across your face as you strapped the leash onto your ankle.

felix looked momentarily caught off guard, his eyes widening as he tried to process your challenge, but it only took a second before he snapped back. “what?!” he yelled, barely able to finish the sentence before you sprinted ahead, the storm adding an extra layer of exhilaration to the race.

with a burst of energy, you made it to the water first. without hesitation, you threw yourself onto your board, the coolness of the sea making your heart race even faster. the board’s surface was slick beneath your chest as you paddled with determination, the saltwater splashing around you, urging you forward.

felix, now just a few steps behind, didn’t miss a beat. he threw his board into the water with a grunt and quickly followed your lead, paddling furiously to catch up. you could hear his laughter cutting through the noise of the waves, his joy contagious as the two of you battled the current together.

a massive wave loomed ahead, its towering presence sending a thrill of both fear and excitement through you. the sound of the ocean filled your ears, muffling everything else as you ducked beneath the water, your body moving with the rhythm of the ocean. for a moment, the world above the surface felt like a distant memory, replaced by the peaceful bubbling sounds of the stormy sea surrounding you.

when you surfaced, gasping for air, the storm felt almost more beautiful than before. the waves were relentless, but so were you. you glanced at felix, his face filled with a mix of determination and exhilaration. his eyes were wide with excitement as he nodded to you, signaling that another big wave was coming, and you both needed to get ready.

together, you turned towards the shore, the pounding waves pushing against you, urging you to move faster. you paddled with everything you had, your muscles burning with effort, but the water was relentless, its pressure urging you forward. your heart pounded in your chest, the sound of your breath mingling with the storm.

at this point, the rain was the furthest thing from your mind. you could feel the pull of the water beneath you, the coldness of the sea threatening to drag you under, but you were determined to keep moving forward.

suddenly, you saw it. the perfect wave surged ahead, its towering form breaking the horizon. your eyes widened as you exchanged a look with felix. his face was a mask of pure excitement, his eyes sparkling with a thrill you could hardly ignore. without a word, he flashed you a grin, his smile wide and full of confidence, and that was all you needed. together, you turned away from the wave, both of you preparing for the ride of your life.

your heart pounded in your chest, anticipation thrumming through you. you arched your back, shifting your body on the board, your legs instinctively finding the right stance. the water surged beneath you, a powerful force pushing you toward the shore. your feet were unsure on the board at first since you haven’t surfed since last year, but with every passing second, you felt your body find its center. you spread your feet further apart, grounding yourself as the wave built behind you, ready to launch you forward.

the board glided smoothly over the water, the wave carrying you effortlessly toward the shore. your heart raced, adrenaline coursing through your veins as the wind whipped around you. felix’s laughter rang out behind you, and you could hear him urging you forward, encouraging you as you both rode the wave together. the thrill of it was beyond anything you had ever experienced, and you couldn’t help but smile.

the waves were enormous, driven by the fierce wind, each one towering higher and crashing down with a powerful force. the water beneath your board was alive, a swirling mass of energy that propelled you forward with exhilarating speed. the surface of the ocean undulated, creating peaks and troughs that challenged your balance and skill, but also filled you with a sense of wild freedom.

suddenly, you heard felix's voice cutting through the chaos, yelling out your name. you glanced over just in time to see felix attempting a 360 turn on his board. his movements were fluid and confident, but as he spun, the wave's powerful momentum caught him off guard. he lost his balance, his board slipping out from under him, and he wiped out spectacularly, disappearing into the churning water.

you couldn't help but laugh, the sound mingling with the crashing waves. you lay flat on your board, momentarily catching your breath and savouring the thrill of the ride. the waves continued to surge around you, their immense power a reminder of nature's raw, untamed beauty. you watched as felix resurfaced, shaking the water from his hair and grinning sheepishly.

the ocean swelled once more, the biggest wave yet forming in the distance. 

you knew you had to take this on. 

paddling forward, you felt the wave lift you up, its crest towering above you like a moving mountain. you rose to your feet, the force of the water beneath you a powerful, exhilarating rush.

the wave surged beneath you, pushing you forward with a force that made your heart race. you leaned into the movement, carving your board effortlessly through the water, each turn more fluid than the last. the sound of the ocean was drowned out by the rush of wind in your ears as you sliced through the wave, the water spraying around you in a dazzling mist. the thrill was electric, each movement feeling sharper, more connected to the pulse of the ocean.

suddenly, the air seemed to crack open. 

a lightning strike flashed right in front of your eyes at the shoreline, so close it felt like the air itself had cracked open. your expression went blank with shock, and you frantically looked over at felix. his face mirrored your fear, eyes wide with terror.

in that moment, every instinct screamed to keep moving, but all you could do was stare at the water beneath you, unable to tear your eyes away from the swirling depths. the waves, once thrilling and empowering, now seemed ominous, like a waiting predator. you had heard it over and over when you first started surfing—never look down—because the board will always follow your gaze. but now, your eyes were locked on the dark, churning water below, as if looking for an answer, or maybe a way out.

and just like that, the board slipped out from under you.

you didn’t wipe out in the graceful way you'd hoped for; instead, your board was violently thrown back at you, striking your face with a painful thud. the impact knocked the wind out of you, and before you could react, the force of it sent you hurtling downward, into the depths of the ocean.

the world above you faded away as you sank, the crashing waves muffled into eerie quiet. it felt like the water was swallowing you whole, the pressure building in your chest, the world spinning in slow motion. your nose throbbed with an unbearable ache, the taste of saltwater filling your mouth as you accidentally swallowed a mouthful of the briny liquid. panic surged through you as your vision blurred, and your mind screamed for air.

instinctively, you kicked your legs, swimming toward what you hoped was the surface, though everything felt like it was spinning out of control. you reached out, your hands clawing through the water, and for a split second, you couldn’t tell if you were swimming up or down. you didn’t have the time to think about that.

breaking through the surface, you gasped for air, coughing violently into your hand. blood smeared across your palm and mixed with the water, spreading out in tendrils. felix's voice cut through the chaos, shouting your name. "look, baby, i know this has been fun. but we seriously need to head home now, did you see how close that lightning strike was!" the panic in his voice was unmistakable, but he didn’t know what had happened to you.

you could barely register his words, your head still spinning. you were too disoriented to respond. instead, you kept your head low, one arm draped weakly over your board as the waves jostled you. the storm wasn’t just around you anymore; it was inside you, thrumming through your bones, rattling against your ribs like a bird trapped in a cage. the pain in your nose was sharp and unforgiving, a steady pulse of fire radiating outward, but it wasn’t just the pain that held you captive. it was the fear.

it curled around your limbs like seaweed, tightening, twisting, dragging you under. the ocean had swallowed your breath, leaving nothing but the taste of salt and blood on your tongue. it was in your throat, thick and metallic, coating your teeth, seeping into every exhale. your heart pounded erratically, beating out a frantic rhythm that didn’t match the rhythm of the waves. it was too fast, too uneven, like a drum with a broken cadence.

your body felt foreign, unsteady, like it no longer belonged to you. the water rocked you, gentle and violent all at once, the ocean playing with you like a predator that hadn’t decided whether to let you go or pull you under for good. your fingers curled weakly around the edge of your board, but the slick surface felt miles away, like something that existed in another world, a world where you hadn’t just been thrown under, hadn’t just stared into the dark abyss beneath the waves and wondered, for one terrifying second, if you’d ever see the surface again.

you couldn’t help it. the fear clawed its way up from the pit of your stomach, rising so fast you didn’t have a chance to brace yourself. your chest heaved, the breath hitching in your throat, and before you even realized what was happening, you broke.

a sob tore out of you, raw and uncontrollable, shaking your already unsteady frame. the sound was swallowed by the storm, but it felt like it echoed inside you, bouncing off every fragile part of your soul. tears mingled with the saltwater already streaking your face, but these were hotter, more insistent, driven by something deeper than the cold. you weren’t crying because of the pain in your nose or the ache in your muscles—you were crying out of pure fear.

through the haze, you saw felix paddling toward you, his face twisted with concern. his eyes were frantic as he called out your name again, his voice growing closer, more desperate. "what’s going on? why aren’t you—" he stopped mid-sentence as his eyes landed on the streaks of red trailing in the water around you.

seeing the blood, the way you weren’t responding—everything in him screamed that something was terribly wrong. his eyes darted over your face, his mind racing to make sense of it, but everything felt distant, disconnected. you were barely holding it together, and felix felt like the weight of the world was crashing down on him.

"everything okay?" he asked again, his voice trembling with raw fear. obviously you weren’t. but he needed you to say something. anything.

you didn’t answer. your eyes were unfocused, your head lolling to one side as the storm continued to rage around you. the pain from your nose, the overwhelming pressure of the ocean, the feeling of being lost in it all—it was too much. felix’s heart raced as he hovered over you, his breath coming in short, panicked gasps. the way you shook with sobs, barely clinging to the edge of your board, sent a cold, unrelenting dread spiraling through him. 

"fuck!" felix cursed, his voice laced with fear as he saw the extent of your condition. with a sense of urgency he didn’t know he had, felix reached out, his hands steady but shaking as he gently helped you onto your board. the weight of the situation was crushing him, but he pushed it aside as he focused entirely on you.

“hang on,” he said firmly, the words feeling foreign on his tongue as his own panic threatened to break through. his voice stayed steady, even though every part of him wanted to scream, wanted to break down in fear. “i’ll get you back to shore.” he repeated it like a mantra, clinging to the words even though his heart was hammering in his chest.

but his thoughts were spinning, like a whirlwind of terror. his parents had trusted him to look after you, and so had yours. has he failed already? what if he doesn’t get you back by the time the next lightning strike comes down and hits you both? what if the blood in the water had already attracted sharks, and—

the waves, sensing your need, seemed to assist you, their powerful surges pushing you forward. you held your nose with one hand, trying to stem the bleeding, while paddling with the other. felix stayed beside you, occasionally giving your board a push to help you along. the shore drew closer, the tumultuous ride feeling like an eternity. finally, you felt the sand beneath your board. felix's voice cut through the noise of the storm. "leave everything here." he urged as he unstrapped the leash from your ankle and his own. “come on, come on!

the storm outside raged with a fury that seemed almost otherworldly, its howling wind battering against the walls of the beach house, a sound that felt like a warning from the sea itself. the rain came down in sheets, cold and merciless, each drop striking your skin like ice. felix's grip on your board was firm, his urgency evident as he turned toward the house, his movements quick and determined.

“go up, i’m right behind you,” he said, his voice barely audible over the storm’s roar. he gestured toward the deck and nodded towards the beach house, his face set in a mask of concentration.

you stumbled against the fierce wind, its invisible hands pushing against you, forcing you to fight for every step. felix stayed close behind, his presence a solid anchor as you finally reached the porch, breathless and drenched. with a swift motion, he dropped the boards onto the deck with a dull thud, and his hand was at the door, pushing it open to reveal the warm, dimly lit interior of the house.

“get inside,” felix urged, his voice steady yet tinged with urgency. you moved toward the door, your body shaking from the cold and exhaustion, and as you stepped over the threshold, the warmth inside hit you like a soft embrace. felix followed you in, quickly closing the door behind him with a soft click that seemed almost surreal after the chaos of the storm. the sound of the wind and rain pounding against the windows became muffled, but the tension in the air was still thick, a reminder of how close you'd come to danger.

you hesitated, not wanting to leave a trail of water across the floor, but before you could even protest, felix was already moving. he quickly grabbed a thick towel from the nearby shelf and wrapped it around you, his hands warm and gentle against your chilled skin. the softness of the towel contrasted sharply with the harshness of the storm outside, and for a moment, you let yourself lean into him, closing your eyes as the warmth of the towel began to seep into your bones.

you removed your hand from your nose, wincing as the motion sent another sharp wave of pain through you. the blood was still trickling, staining the palm of your hand, but before you could react, felix was already there, gently placing the paper towel against your nose with a tenderness that belied the gravity of the situation. 

"hold still," he whispered. his touch was so gentle, almost reverent, as if afraid that the slightest pressure might make things worse.

felix gently helped you to the couch, his hands still warm on your shoulders as he guided you to sit. the storm outside raged on, but inside the house, everything felt calmer. the warmth of the living room was a sharp contrast to the chill that had settled into your bones from the rain and the shock. as you sank into the cushions, you finally allowed yourself to relax, your body unwinding after the chaos. felix settled beside you, his eyes still full of concern, but there was a quiet relief in his expression now, too.

the noise of the storm seemed to fade into the background as you both sat there in the cocoon of the house. the sound of the wind and rain felt distant now, almost like it belonged to another world. felix's presence beside you grounded you, and you began to feel your senses returning, the dizziness of the moment slowly fading away.

felix hesitated for a moment, watching you carefully, his gaze flickering from your trembling hands to the crumpled paper towel pressed against your nose. his jaw clenched slightly before he finally spoke, his voice quieter now, almost hesitant.

"can i see it?"

you swallowed, still feeling the dull throb pulsing through your nose, but you nodded. slowly, you pulled the tissue away, wincing as the air hit the tender skin. the bleeding had slowed to a faint trickle, but it was still sore.

felix leaned in, his eyes scanning your face. you could see the worry still lingering in the furrow of his brow, the way his lips pressed together as if he were bracing himself for something worse. but then, his shoulders dropped slightly, and he let out a breath—long and slow, filled with relief. it wasn’t broken, luckily and all he saw was that cute nose he loved. he trailed off, his expression shifting as he took in the rest of you. your eyes, red-rimmed from salt and tears, the faint tremble in your hands.

felix’s stomach twisted.

but as the reality of the situation sank in, you couldn’t help but chuckle. "i cannot believe we did that," you said, your voice muffled by the tissue still pressed to your nose. the irony of the whole situation hit you in waves. here you were, sitting on felix's couch, soaked to the bone, and with a bleeding nose. you shook your head slightly, still processing what had just happened.

felix ran a hand through his wet hair, his expression a mix of frustration and worry. "i'm sorry," he said, his voice tight. "it was my fault. i shouldn't have made you go out there in that weather." he was still trembling, but whether it was from the cold of the water or the fear of what had just happened, you couldn’t be sure.

you shook your head, offering him a small smile. "it's fine, felix. i had fun," you said, your tone lightening. "the lightning just really freaked me out so i wiped out." you glanced down at the tissue, already soaked with blood. "ugh, this one's done for," you muttered, tossing it into the trash with a flick of your wrist before felix handed you a fresh piece of tissue to replace it.

“i should’ve—” he exhaled sharply, running a hand through his damp hair, his frustration with himself evident. 

his eyes locked onto yours then, filled with a guilt so raw it nearly knocked the air from your lungs.

"i should've realized sooner." he shook his head, his grip tightening on your hands. "i kept telling you to hurry up like you weren’t right there, falling apart, and i—" felix’s expression tightened, his voice barely above a whisper as he spoke, his words coming out rushed. “my dad... he’s going to kill me if he finds out we did this,” he said, his eyes wide with a panic you hadn't seen before. “i never should’ve—”

you reached out, trying to offer some comfort, but he flinched, moving back. he was trembling now, his shoulders hunched, his face pale. his hands were shaking and you swore you saw the glint of unshed tears in his gaze before he looked away.

“felix,” you began, your voice soft and steady, “it’s okay. he’ll understand.”

he cut you off in a tight, strained voice, barely audible. “no, no, i... i can’t,” he whispered, his breath shaky. “i’ll never be trusted again. look at me.” his hands balled into fists at his sides, his knuckles white as he looked down at them, avoiding your gaze. “you shouldn’t trust me. no one should.”

before you could find the words to reply, felix suddenly stood up, his movements sharp and abrupt. he turned away, his shoulders tense as if the weight of everything was physically pressing down on him. without another word, he strode toward his room, each step quick and purposeful, before the door slammed shut behind him. the door slammed shut behind him, the sound echoing in the silence that followed. 

you had never seen him break like this. it was jarring, almost surreal. he was felix—the boy who was always so sure of himself, so steady. but he was still just a teenager. he wasn’t invincible, no matter how much he tried to be.

he had been left alone in this vacation home, trusted to hold it together, to prove himself capable of responsibility. of course, he had earned that trust. felix was the brightest boy you knew, kind and thoughtful to a fault, someone who carried the world on his shoulders without ever complaining. but there was pressure in that—an unrelenting, quiet pressure to show that he wasn’t abusing the trust.

you hated that he felt this way—that he doubted himself, even for a second. because to you, felix had already proven everything that mattered. he didn’t need to be perfect; he just needed to be him. but how could you make him see that?

fifteen minutes had passed since felix stormed off, and you had taken the time to settle your own mind. the warm shower had worked wonders, the steam filling the bathroom and calming your nerves as the hot water washed away the tension that had been building since the storm. you had sat with the nosebleed for what felt like forever, tissues piling up as the blood finally stopped after a long ten minutes, but the mess of it had left you feeling drained. 

you walked over to the window, your bare feet cold against the wooden floor as you pulled back the curtain. the storm had passed. the clouds were parting, revealing a sky that was now dark but calm. the trees outside swayed gently in the aftermath, and the world was eerily quiet, as if it were holding its breath.

the heavy rain had stopped, the rumbling thunder replaced by a gentle breeze. you could hear the distant crashing of waves, a soothing sound that almost made you forget about everything else for a moment. but felix still lingered in your thoughts.

you froze when you heard his voice faintly coming from behind the closed door. at first, you told yourself it wasn’t your place, that you shouldn’t listen, but curiosity got the better of you. felix had stormed off, and it had left you with a knot in your chest. hearing him now, hearing the strain in his voice, drew you closer.

you tiptoed toward his room, your steps soft against the wooden floor, and pressed your ear gently against the door. the sound was clearer now, enough for you to make out the words.

“appa,” he said, his voice trembling slightly, a vulnerability you weren’t used to hearing. “i was so scared.” 

then a pause.

“i don’t know how she’s doing right now,” he continued, his voice quieter now. “i panicked... and i just ran off.”

he wasn’t talking about the storm or the lightning. he was talking about you.

there was another pause, longer this time, and then felix’s voice came again, this time more tentative. “can you put mom on?”

you could hear the faint rustle of movement on the other end, and then a softer voice spoke. you couldn’t make out what she said, but felix’s reaction was immediate.

he choked out, his voice breaking. there was a sharp inhale, and you realized he was crying. “i messed up.”

you swallowed hard. deep down, you knew his parents weren’t going to be mad at him—not as much as he thought, at least. they’d understand. they’d remind him that the weight he carried didn’t have to be his alone. but right now, felix didn’t see that.

“i feel terrible,” he said, followed by a sniffle. 

felix’s mom began to speak again, her voice too muffled for you to make out the words. you strained to hear, but it was impossible. she must’ve said something fairly lengthy since felix went completely quiet.

“i’ll talk to her. okay… bye. love you.”

the sudden click of the phone hanging up startled you. you quickly moved away from the door, careful not to make a sound, and stepped back into the hallway just as you heard the rustling of movement inside his room. your heart raced as you stood there, debating whether to go in or give him space.

summoning your courage, you stepped up to his door and knocked gently.

there was a pause, then the sound of felix clearing his throat. “yeah, uh… come in.”

you pushed the door open slowly, peeking inside to find him sitting on the edge of his bed, his phone still in his hand. his hair was messy, and his eyes were slightly red, but he gave you a small, strained smile as you stepped inside.

“i thought i heard your voice,” you said softly, your eyes scanning his face for any sign of how he was feeling.

felix looked down, running a hand through his hair, clearly flustered. “yeah, i was just, uh… calling my parents.” his voice was quiet, hesitant, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to explain further. he paused, then looked up at you, his eyes tinged with worry. “i’m sorry. are you okay, first of all?”

you gave him a small smile, stepping further into the room. “yeah, i’m fine. it stopped a while ago,” you assured him, referring to your nosebleed.

felix exhaled sharply, his shoulders sagging as if a weight had been lifted. “i shouldn’t have run off like that,” he said, his voice tinged with regret. “i panicked, and i left you alone when you needed me. that wasn’t okay.”

you shook your head, your expression softening. “felix, it’s okay. i get it. i’m not upset at all,” you said gently, hoping to ease the guilt you could see written all over his face.

you walked over to him and sat beside him on the bed. the mattress dipped slightly under your weight, and felix looked at you out of the corner of his eye, his hands twisting together in his lap.

“i mean it,” you said softly. “you got us out of that storm, and you made sure i was safe. you’ve been so strong through everything.”

his lips parted slightly, like he was on the verge of saying something, but instead, he let out a sharp exhale through his nose, his jaw clenching tight. his eyes locked onto yours, glistening with unshed tears, but this time, there was no hesitation. he reached out, pulling you against him with a firm, unrelenting grip, his chin resting against the top of your head as if he needed you close to remind himself you were safe.

he didn’t want to cry in front of you. he was trying his best to hold it together, like a dam on the verge of bursting, his breathing shallow and uneven. but then, his body betrayed him. a shudder ran through him, his shoulders trembling as a silent tear slipped free. his arms around your waist tightened, almost possessive, like letting go would mean losing you entirely.

in his head, the storm of emotions raged—regret, guilt, love—each one crashing into the other. you. it was always you. the one who could read him like an open book, the one who stayed no matter how much he tried to hide the weight of his struggles. the one who made him feel whole, even in his most broken moments. the words were right there, at the tip of his tongue. i love you. three simple words that felt monumental, like they could shift the world if he said them out loud. but he couldn’t. not right now—not like this, with tears streaming down his face and his heart too raw to handle it. the fact that he couldn’t bring himself to say it made his chest ache, as he clung to you even tighter.

your voice broke through the silence, soft but steady, pulling him back to you. “you know…” you started, your hand tracing slow circles on his back, “i was scared out there too. i thought something was going to happen, something we wouldn’t be able to fix. but when you came to me i felt so much safer.”

he pulled back a little at your words, “i’m not going anywhere,” he said, his voice unwavering now, grounded in the kind of certainty that left no room for doubt. “i’ll always be there for you. no matter what. you hear me?”

you nodded, your breath catching in your throat. “i hear you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible as you reached out to wipe the tear on his face.

felix let out a shaky breath and managed a small, almost timid smile in return. “i’m not making any stupid mistakes like that anymore,” he said firmly, his jaw tightening like he was sealing the promise in stone. “i mean it. i’m done being reckless.”

you tilted your head, a playful smile tugging at your lips. “but what’s felix without a little recklessness?” you teased, your voice light.

for a second, he just stared at you, his lips twitching like he was trying not to smile. “oh, so that’s how it is?” he said, his tone laced with mock offense. “you’re telling me you like it when i make impulsive decisions?”

you shrugged, feigning innocence. “maybe. it keeps things interesting.” then, with a softer voice, you added, “but only when you’re not scaring me half to death.”

felix stared at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. then, finally—finally—he smiled, the tension in his shoulders melting away. and then, without warning, his hands darted to your sides, fingers pressing into your ribs as he tickled you mercilessly.

a surprised squeal burst from your lips as you jerked away instinctively, but he was quicker, pulling you right back into him. “felix!” you shrieked between uncontrollable laughter, squirming in his grasp.

he only grinned wider, his deep, warm laughter finally breaking through the weight of everything that had happened. “you wanted reckless, didn’t you?” he teased, his fingers dancing over your sides with practiced ease.

you gasped between giggles, pushing at his chest, but he was relentless. “i take it back! i take it back!” you cried, breathless. and before you could protest, he started peppering kisses all over your cheek. for a second, everything was lighthearted—his breathless laughter mingling with yours, the warmth of his lips brushing against your cheek in quick, teasing kisses. 

you barely had a second to catch your breath before you twisted in his grasp, your laughter still bubbling out between gasps. his fingers faltered for just a moment—just enough. you seized the opportunity, grabbing his wrists and using all your strength to push against him.

felix let out a surprised grunt as you shifted your weight, catching him off guard. “oh?” he said, his voice quiet.

before he could react, you shoved him backward, sending him tumbling onto the bed with a soft thud. he let out a breathless chuckle, propping himself up on his elbows, his blonde hair slightly tousled from the sudden movement.

but then—

caw.

you both froze.

a second later, another call rang out—not the familiar, grating squawk of a seagull, but something deeper, more chilling. 

your eyes flickered to the window, your heart rate still unsteady from the tickle attack, but now for an entirely different reason. “felix,” you said cautiously, your voice barely above a whisper before you pushed yourself up. “do you think…”

his gaze followed yours, and before you could even finish, he filled in the rest. “ravens?” his voice was lower now, more serious.

you swallowed hard, the memory clicking into place at the same time for both of you. his father’s words from before he left echoed in your head—how ravens had a habit of stealing gull eggs, how they tended to come out when it rained.

and it had rained earlier.

a chill ran down your spine.

felix exhaled sharply, then pushed himself up. “come on,” he said, his voice firm. “let’s go check.”

he was already moving, reaching for your hand as he stood. you nodded, your fingers slipping easily into his grasp as you followed him to the door.

felix led the way, his grip firm around your hand as you both stepped outside. the salty air was thick with the remnants of the storm, the ground still damp beneath your feet. the sky had cleared, but the lingering gray clouds cast an eerie light over the beach house.

neither of you spoke as you rounded the corner, your eyes immediately lifting to the spot where you had first seen the seagull nest, nestled in the crook of the roof.

and there it was.

a massive black bird stood perched at the edge of the nest, its sleek feathers glistening under the weak sunlight. its talons curled tightly around the wooden beam, its head tilted ever so slightly as it regarded you both. the raven was larger than you had expected—far bigger than any gull you had seen.

its beady black eyes locked onto you, unblinking.

your breath hitched. there was something wrong about the way it stared—calculated, aware. it didn’t flinch, didn’t startle at your sudden presence. it simply watched.

felix’s grip on your hand tightened.

the raven’s head twitched, its sharp beak parting slightly as if it was about to make a sound—but it didn’t. it just stood there, unmoving, towering over the nest like a shadow waiting to descend.

your stomach twisted.

“felix…” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

he took a step forward, shifting slightly so he was in front of you, his shoulders squaring. his jaw clenched, eyes fixed on the raven as if daring it to move. then the sharp, guttural cry tore through the silence, echoing against the house. you flinched. the raven didn’t move an inch. it just kept staring.

your heart sank as your gaze flicked to the nest. the thought was unavoidable—what if it had already gotten to one of the eggs?

“felix… do you think it—”

“don’t,” he cut you off gently but firmly, his voice low and steady. “don’t go there yet.”

before you could reply, felix’s eyes darted to the ground. he let go of your hand and crouched, grabbing a long, sopping-wet stick from the grass. it was drenched from the storm, muddy and slick, but he didn’t seem to care. straightening up, he held it like a spear, his shoulders squared, every muscle in his body tense.

it stayed perched, unmoving, as if it was trying to decide whether felix was a threat worth acknowledging. felix stepped closer to the corner of the roof, gripping the stick tightly in both hands. he tilted it upward, pointing the end directly toward the raven, his stance firm.

“go,” felix commanded, his voice sharper now, almost daring the bird to challenge him.

the raven cocked its head at the sound of his voice, the calculating look in its beady eyes making your skin crawl. the raven remained as still as a statue, its gaze locked onto felix with an unnerving intensity. then it let out another piercing caw, its wings unfurling in a sudden, jerky motion that made you flinch.

and finally—it took off.

the massive bird beat its wings hard as it launched itself into the air, its dark silhouette stark against the cloudy sky. you could feel the rush of air as it passed overhead, its cries echoing in the distance as it disappeared into the horizon.

felix lowered the stick with a long exhale, glancing back at you. “well,” he said, “i didn’t think that would actually work.”

felix’s gaze never left the nest as you both stood there in the aftermath of the raven’s sudden departure. something in you tugged at the unease in your chest, a hunch that maybe things weren’t as simple as they seemed.

“i should check,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.

felix didn’t hesitate. he nodded, crouching down in front of you, his eyes scanning the nest with a deep, steady focus. without a word, he motioned for you to climb onto his shoulders. you took a deep breath, your stomach twisted with a mix of dread and determination. as you carefully perched yourself onto his back, you braced yourself for whatever you were about to see. felix lifted you with ease, his hands steadying your legs as he raised you higher.

you closed your eyes for a moment, trying to steady your breathing. please let it be okay, you thought. 

slowly, you opened your eyes, and your breath caught in your throat.

the sight was worse than you had feared. the eggs—most of them—were shattered, the fragile shells split open like broken promises, their contents exposed to the elements. your heart sank, a cold, tight feeling creeping up your chest. the raven had gotten to them, and now it was too late.

but there was one egg left. 

felix’s voice was tight with disbelief as he crouched lower, his hands steadying you. “what happened?” he asked, his eyes wide, scanning the damage.

you swallowed hard, your throat dry, and it took a moment for the words to come. “he got to two,” you managed to say, voice barely above a whisper. “the raven… it must’ve eaten them.”

felix’s shoulders slumped, and his face tightened with guilt and sorrow. he set you down gently, his fingers brushing against your arm before he pulled you into his chest. you could feel his heart beating quickly, mirroring your own as you both stood there in a heavy, shared silence.

“i’m so sorry,” felix murmured, his voice barely audible. you could feel the weight of his words, like he was carrying the burden of something he couldn’t control.

you wrapped your arms around him. “the mom’s gonna come back,” you said softly, the words slipping out despite the lump in your throat. “and she won’t understand…” you bit your lip, trying to hold it together, but the lump in your throat felt too large to swallow down.

“i wish there was something more we could have done.” he exhaled slowly, like the air itself had become heavier. 

“let’s go back.” you said quietly, feeling that same heaviness in your chest that he did. felix’s hand found yours once again, his grip warm and steady as he led you back down from the roof.

the walk back to the house felt long and solemn, the world around you muted under the gray sky. there were no words exchanged, but there didn’t need to be. the silence between you was an understanding, a shared grief for something you both knew was beyond your control.

once inside, you both drifted toward the couch, where you sat side by side, close but not saying anything. felix sat a little farther from you than usual, his hands resting on his knees. but you could feel his presence, and that was enough. 

day 5 - 17:00

the kitchen was warm, bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun filtering through the windows. the smell of sizzling garlic and herbs mixed with the salty air, and the soft strumming of a guitar played from the speaker in the corner. you were focused on slicing the vegetables when felix sidled up beside you, leaning against the counter.

without shame, he snatched a piece of carrot off the cutting board, popping it into his mouth.

“felix,” you warned.

he just grinned, reaching for another piece. before you could stop him, he lifted a finger and gently booped your nose.

“ow,” you winced, pulling back. “it still hurts from earlier.”

his eyes widened. “oh—sorry, sorry!” his hands flew up like he’d just committed a crime, guilt flashing across his sun-kissed face.

you let out a small, pathetic whimper, holding your nose like it was broken.

felix blinked. then he narrowed his eyes. “wait—are you messing with me?”

you tried to keep a straight face, but when his suspicion deepened, your resolve crumbled, and you burst into laughter.

“oh my god,” he groaned, running a hand down his face. “stop doing that! one day, i won’t believe you’re actually hurt, and i won’t show any compassion.” he pointed at you accusingly. “you’ve never heard of the boy who cried wolf?”

“it’s not my fault you choose to fall for it every time,” you teased, nudging him with your elbow as you started cutting the onions.

he scoffed, shaking his head. “well, obviously. you’re my girl, i care about you.”

you rolled your eyes at felix’s words, shaking your head as you focused back on the onions. but as soon as you sliced into another piece, the sting hit. it crept in slowly at first, then all at once—your eyes burned, your vision blurred, and before you knew it, tears welled up against your will.

felix gasped dramatically. “are you crying?” he clutched his chest, looking far too entertained. “was it that touching?”

you shot him a glare, blinking rapidly to fight the irritation. “no, you asshole, as if,” you snapped, voice slightly watery as you instinctively raised a hand to wipe at your eyes. and it happened to be the very hand you touched the onion with. before you could, felix’s reflexes kicked in, and he pushed your wrist out of the way just in time.

“oh my gosh, you dummy,” he muttered, exasperated but laughing as he reached for a tissue. carefully, he dabbed at the corners of your eyes, his touch gentle. “you know, i can take over,” he offered, nodding toward the cutting board.

you shook your head quickly. “no, no, it’s okay. i got this.”

felix raised an eyebrow as he finished dabbing your eyes and pulled back. “you sure?”

“i’m okay,” you insisted, blinking rapidly to clear the last of the sting.

he held his hands up in surrender. “alright, if you say so. i’m gonna go grab—” he paused for a second, thinking, then snapped his fingers. “the extra drinks from the garage. you know, since somebody is too stubborn to accept my help in the kitchen.”

you rolled your eyes but smiled. “okay, okay, go.”

felix grinned, but before turning away, he reached out and gently patted your head, smoothing out a stray piece of hair. 

“there,” he said, stepping back with a smirk. “looking good, chef.”

he held his hands up in surrender. “alright, if you say so. i’m gonna go grab—” he paused for a second, thinking, then snapped his fingers. “oh! i need to get the—uh, the marinade from the garage! i knew i was forgetting something.” you hummed in acknowledgment, still focused on the onions. before leaving, felix reached out and pet your hair, “try not to cry too much while i’m gone.”

you swatted at his arm, rolling your eyes. “get out of here.”

felix chuckled as he made his way to the front door, stepping outside. the air was cooler now, the sun dipping lower on the horizon. he jogged across the driveway, pulling open the garage door, and grabbed the marinade from a shelf near the back. with a quick motion, he shut the garage door behind him and turned back toward the house—

then he saw it. 

the beach house across the street. the one he has been staring at for the entire summer, wishing a certain someone was there.

chris’s house.

and a car.

not just any car. chris’s car.

felix stopped in his tracks. his heart did a weird little flip, and for a second, he just stared, trying to make sense of it. no, no, it’s impossible. chris didn’t tell him he was coming up. he said he was too busy this year. it’s probably just his parents. yeah, that’s it.

but the thought nagged at him. the hope.

and before he could talk himself out of it, he spun around and bolted back inside.

“baby!” he called, practically sliding into the kitchen. “you are not gonna believe this.”

you looked up from the cutting board, startled by the urgency in his voice. “what? what happened?”

felix stood there, wide-eyed, gripping the marinade like he’d completely forgotten he was holding it. his chest rose and fell like he’d just sprinted, his sun-kissed face a mix of shock and disbelief. his mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. instead, he gestured wildly toward the front door, his fingers twitching like his brain was moving faster than his mouth.

“the—the—the—” he stammered, his hands flailing as if they could physically drag the words out of him.

you set down the knife, narrowing your eyes. “felix, what?”

but instead of answering, he surged forward and grabbed your wrist. his palm was warm, slightly sweaty, and buzzing with something electric. “come!”

you barely had time to register before he was tugging you through the house, his grip firm but urgent. the kitchen disappeared behind you in a blur, the scent of onions and garlic fading as he pulled you through the hallway and toward the front door. his excitement was contagious, sending a thrill of anticipation racing up your spine.

“felix, what is going on?” you demanded, breathless as you stumbled after him.

“just—just look!” he practically threw open the front door, the warm night air hitting your skin as he pulled you outside. the sky was streaked with fading pinks and oranges, cicadas buzzing in the distance, the salty ocean breeze rustling through the palm trees.

you stood there for a second, completely lost. your eyes darted between felix’s face—alive with barely contained excitement—and the house across the street, but nothing about it seemed unusual. it was just a house.

“…okay?” you said slowly, glancing at him. “what am i supposed to be looking at?”

felix exhaled sharply, shaking his head like you were missing something massive. “remember when you first came? i showed you where chris’s house is?”

you nodded, still confused. “yeah?”

he pointed aggressively. “that one. chris’s house.”

you followed his gaze, staring at the familiar structure, still unsure what he was getting at. “okay… and?”

felix turned to you, eyes wide, and gestured again like you weren’t seeing the obvious. “there is a whole car there. chris’s car!” his voice pitched higher, his hands gripping your shoulders now like he needed to shake the realization into you. “chris didn’t say he was coming up! why is his car here?”

you were still trying to wrap your head around what was happening. “well, then go say hi,” you said with a shrug, a hint of teasing in your voice.

felix’s eyes flickered to the house across the street, his expression torn between confusion and frustration. “no, no, what the fuck?” he ran a hand through his hair, messing it up further as he paced in a small circle. “he can’t just come without telling me! he’s not gonna show up like this and expect me to be all, like, welcoming and happy to see him after—ugh!”

his jaw clenched, his body tense as he turned his focus back to the car in the driveway. “you know what?” he muttered, shaking his head. “forget it. let’s just go back inside. i’m actually done here.”

you almost laughed at how furious he was. it was funny—and kind of adorable, in a way, how deeply this was getting under his skin. but at the same time, you could tell he wasn’t about to let this go anytime soon.

“felix, relax,” you said, trying to stifle your laughter as he threw an arm over your shoulders, practically dragging you back toward the front door. 

you were halfway through your meal, the plates piled high with the food you’d worked together to prepare. the light hum of the music in the background mixed with the occasional clink of utensils against plates, but something felt off. you glanced over at felix, who was sitting across from you, his fork hovering in midair as he stared at his food. his brows were furrowed in that familiar, deep thought expression, his gaze distant. you could practically see the gears turning in his mind, his mood clearly still rattled. 

“why do you think he wouldn’t tell me?” felix’s voice broke the silence, low and pensive. his question was almost like a challenge to himself, like he was searching for some kind of logical answer to the chaos in his head.

you paused, taking a breath as you set your fork down. “i don’t know,” you said softly, glancing at him. “maybe he wanted to surprise you?”

felix’s voice was tinged with dry humor, though it was clear he was still trying to work through the confusion. “well, he’s terrible at it,” he muttered, shaking his head. “cause i found out before he could even say anything.”

you couldn’t help it—you chuckled softly, the sound light against the tension in the room. it was amusing, really, how seriously felix was taking this, and how easily he’d figured it out despite chris’s attempt at a surprise.

“well,” you said, still smiling, “guess he’s not as sneaky as he thinks, huh?”

as you were about to respond, felix’s phone suddenly buzzed on the table, the vibration loud enough to catch both your attention. he glanced down at it, letting out a heavy sigh, then rolled his eyes dramatically. “of course,” he muttered, checking the screen with a look of exasperation.

you raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “who is it?”

felix held up the phone so you could see. chris flashed on the screen, making your smirk widen. “well, answer it then. looks like he’s finally ready to explain himself.”

felix hesitated for a moment, his thumb hovering over the screen as he shot you a look. “fine,” he grumbled. “but if he thinks i’m going to just forgive him for this...”

with a dramatic sigh, he answered the call, tapping the phone to his ear and then switching it to speaker mode. “hi.” felix muttered.

chris’ voice cut him enthusiastically. “hey felix! how are you?”

felix wouldn't let his guard down. he needed to get straight to the point. “good, why are you calling?”

“i just wanted to let you know that my parents arrived at the beach house today. they’re planning on having you over today—they’d love to see you, especially your girlfriend. they’ve been asking about you guys.”

“dude, i saw the car. stop messing with—”

before felix could finish, chris’s voice came through, sounding surprisingly calm and apologetic. “oh yea, sorry about that,” chris cleared his throat to explain. “my parents drove up in my car since i’ve been using theirs to move into my dorm. it’s got more space for all my stuff, you know?” 

there was a brief pause, while felix blinked, his annoyance faltering as chris’s words sank in. “oh,” he said slowly, glancing over at you. “well... okay then.”

but even though he tried to mask it, you could see the shift in his expression—his shoulders sagged just a little, and his lips pressed together tighter than before. a moment of hope had flickered in his eyes, the thought that maybe, just maybe, chris had come to surprise him. but now that hope was gone, shattered, and you could practically feel the sharp sting of disappointment that he was trying so hard to push aside.

felix cleared his throat, forcing his voice to stay even. “yeah, um,” he said, picking at the food on his plate. “we’re just finishing up dinner. we can swing by after.”

“sweet,” chris replied easily. “my parents will be thrilled to see you.”

felix hummed in response, but his usual enthusiasm was noticeably absent. you could see the way he pushed his food around, his appetite suddenly gone.

there was a brief pause before chris spoke again. “felix?”

“yeah?”

chris let out a breath, his tone softer now. “hey, i know it’s been a while, and maybe i should’ve called earlier. but just because things are changing doesn’t mean i don’t care, alright? i still got you. always.”

felix blinked, his gaze lowering to his plate. he let out a quiet scoff, shaking his head slightly. “yeah, yeah. i know,” he muttered. felix toyed with the food on his plate for a moment before exhaling through his nose. “how’s moving?” he asked, his voice quieter now.

chris let out a dry chuckle on the other end. “hard,” he admitted. “so much packing, so much driving. feels like i’ve been living out of boxes for weeks.”

felix hummed in acknowledgment, nodding even though chris couldn’t see him. “bet your new place is a mess.”

“oh, it’s a disaster,” chris groaned. “my mom’s been on my case about organizing, but honestly, i don’t even know where half my stuff is. i think i lost my favorite hoodie in the process.”

felix let out a breath of laughter, but it was short-lived. he twirled his fork between his fingers, his expression unreadable. “guess it’s really happening, huh?”

chris was quiet for a second before answering. “yeah. it is.”

felix swallowed, nodding again. “right.”

without thinking, you reached out and took felix’s hand under the table, your fingers slipping between his. he exhaled softly at the touch, his grip instinctively tightening around yours. his thumb brushed over your knuckles, absentminded but grounding, like he needed something to hold onto.

chris, oblivious to the quiet moment between you two, let out a sigh on the other end. “alright, i gotta go,” he said, his voice lighter now. “but i’ll see you sometime, yeah? i’ll come visit in the winter.”

felix’s jaw clenched for just a second before he forced himself to relax. “yeah,” he said, his voice steady, but you could feel the slight squeeze of his hand around yours. “see you then.”

chris chuckled. “take care, man.” 

the call ended with a soft beep, leaving behind a silence that felt heavier than before. felix didn’t move for a moment, just staring down at the table. you gave his hand a small squeeze, tilting your head slightly as you studied his face. “you okay?”

felix scoffed, shaking his head like you’d just asked the dumbest question in the world. “am i okay? of course, i’m okay.”

you raised an eyebrow. “felix.”

“what?” he let go of your hand to pick at the food on his plate, stabbing at a piece of chicken like it had personally wronged him. “i mean, whatever. it’s not like i was expecting him to actually be here.”

you didn’t call him out on the way his voice tightened at the end, or how his shoulders were still drawn up just slightly, like he was trying to brace himself. instead, you nudged your knee against his under the table. “you know it’s okay to be disappointed, right?”

felix huffed, shoving a bite of food into his mouth. “not disappointed,” he said around the food, voice muffled. “just... whatever.”

you nodded, deciding to let it go for now. if felix wanted to keep pretending, you’d let him—for a little while, at least. the two of you ate in relative silence after that, the occasional clink of silverware filling the space where words should’ve been.

felix barely touched his food.

you noticed, of course, but you didn’t call him out on it. he was in his head, and he’d work through it in his own way.

the sun had dipped lower by the time you both left the house, the sky now a deep shade of blue with traces of orange clinging stubbornly to the horizon. the warm air carried the distant hum of cicadas, the pavement cooling beneath your footsteps as you followed felix across the street.

he hadn’t said much since dinner, and even now, as he walked beside you, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, he was unusually quiet.

the two of you stood in front of chris’s door, the porch light casting a warm glow over the entryway. felix let out a slow breath, rolling his shoulders back like he was bracing for impact.

as you approached the front door, a sudden wave of nerves crept up on you. you glanced at felix, hesitating just before stepping onto the porch. “what do i even say?” you murmured, glancing up at him.

felix scoffed, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. “they’re literally the nicest people on earth,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “just be you, and they’ll love it.”

you nodded, swallowing your nerves as felix reached out and pressed the doorbell. almost instantly, the sound of high-pitched barking rang out from inside. felix’s lips curled into a small smile. footsteps approached the door, and within seconds, it swung open to reveal chris’s mom stood in the doorway, radiant in the golden glow of the porch light. she was beautiful in a timeless way, with soft, kind eyes that crinkled at the corners when she smiled, and rich, dark hair that framed her face in effortless waves. at her feet, a small cocker spaniel bounced excitedly, its tail wagging furiously.

“oh, hello, felix!” she greeted, her voice full of warmth.

“hi!” felix grinned before looking down at the dog. “and hi, berry,” he cooed, crouching slightly as the dog immediately leaped at him, little paws scratching at his legs.

you stepped forward with a polite smile. “it’s really nice to meet you.”

chris’s mom turned her attention to you, her smile widening. “so you’re the one felix has been telling chris about,” she said warmly, stepping aside to let you both in. “it’s lovely to finally meet you!”

berry was still jumping excitedly at felix’s legs, tiny paws scratching at his sweats as he wiggled his tail. felix reached down to ruffle the dog’s ears, laughing when berry tried to clamber up his leg. “still the same little menace, huh?”

as you stepped further inside, the warmth of the house embraced you, carrying the familiar scents of home-cooked food and something faintly floral—maybe a candle burning somewhere nearby. the living room was cozy, filled with framed pictures of chris and his family, soft, well-loved couches, and the kind of atmosphere that made it feel like home.

before you could fully take it in, a deep voice called from further inside.

“there he is! about time you came to visit, felix.”

you turned just in time to see chris’s dad, jack, approaching with a broad grin. he was a tall, sturdy man with a slightly weathered face, exuding the same easy warmth as his wife.

felix grinned as he stepped forward, meeting him with a firm hug. “hey, jack.”

jack clapped him on the back before pulling away, his sharp eyes shifting toward you. “and this must be the girl i’ve been hearing about.”

you smiled, shaking his hand. “nice to meet you.”

jack smirked. “how are you holding up with this one?”

without missing a beat, you deadpanned, “oh, he’s the worst.”

jack let out a loud laugh, while felix shot you an unimpressed look. “wow. betrayed immediately.”

“hey, i like her,” jack said approvingly.

felix rolled his eyes but tugged you toward the couch anyway. he plopped down, stretching an arm over the backrest behind you while chris’s mom sat across from you. the small cocker spaniel, berry, had finally calmed down, settling at felix’s feet.

felix leaned back with a sigh, shaking his head. “you know, i really got fooled by that car for a second,” he admitted, almost laughing at himself. “for a second, i thought chris was actually gonna be here.”

chris’s parents nodded along, but in the corner of your eye, something shifted.

a figure stood near the entrance to the hallway, moving so silently you almost didn’t notice.

your breath caught slightly, but you forced yourself to stay still. the man was wearing a black t-shirt, arms crossed, posture relaxed yet intentional. he was handsome, a bit buff, and even though you’d never met him before, you knew exactly who he was. he lifted a finger up to his lips when he saw you looking at him.

chris.

he looked exactly like the pictures felix had shown you—sharp-eyed, charming, with that same knowing smirk.

your stomach flipped, but you schooled your expression, keeping your focus on felix, who was still oblivious.

then, from behind you, a voice broke through the air.

“you really think i’d leave my precious car out of my sight?”

felix stopped mid-sentence.

visibly froze.

for a second, he didn’t move. just sat there, processing.

then, slowly—like he was almost afraid to believe what he just heard—he turned his head. 

chris stood there, leaning casually against the doorway with a smug grin, arms crossed over his chest. his eyes gleamed with mischief as he took in felix’s stunned expression. felix blinked once. twice. his brain seemed to short-circuit as he processed what was happening. “what the—”

chris barely had time to react before felix shot up from the couch. “you absolute asshole,” he breathed, staring at his friend like he was seeing a ghost. “you—are you kidding me right now?!”

chris burst into laughter, stepping forward just as felix launched himself at him. the hug was aggressive—felix practically slammed into him, shoving him back a step before gripping his shoulders tightly. “you—” felix’s voice cracked, and he pushed chris again, shaking his head in disbelief. “you fucking lied.” felix’s grip tightened before he pulled him in again, hugging him even harder this time. “you suck,” he muttered into chris’s shoulder, voice slightly muffled.

chris patted his back, clearly enjoying every second of this. “missed you too, man.”

you watched, a slow smile spreading across your face. felix had gone through every emotion in the span of five minutes, but the way he held onto chris—like he couldn’t quite believe he was real—made your chest ache.

chris pulled back just enough to look at felix, his grin stretching wide. “damn, i really got you, huh?”

felix scoffed, rolling his eyes, but there was no real annoyance behind it. “you’re such an ass.” he shook his head, exhaling sharply, like he was still processing everything. 

chris laughed again before shifting his gaze to you, his eyes lighting up. “oh my goodness,” he said dramatically, stepping around felix and throwing his arms out like he was seeing a celebrity. “it is so nice to finally meet you.” chris stepped back but kept his hands on your shoulders as he grinned down at you. “felix has told me so much about you,” he said, shaking his head slightly.

chris had pulled you into a quick hug, his enthusiasm overwhelming which you returned. “oh trust me, me too. you know, you’re kind of a big deal.” you joked.

chris raised an eyebrow, glancing at felix with a smirk. “oh, really?” without warning, he reached out and ruffled felix’s hair, messing it up completely. felix let out a squawk, immediately ducking away and swatting at his hand as he groaned, smoothing his hair down with both hands. 

chris just laughed, clearly pleased with himself. before felix could retaliate, chris’s parents stepped into the room. “we’ll go get things from the kitchen,” his mom said, exchanging a look with his dad.

felix stared at chris for a moment, narrowing his eyes. “wait, so what are you doing here? i mean, aren’t you, like, hella busy?”

chris shrugged easily. “i have some time before school starts, you know? figured i’d come see you guys.”

felix blinked. “but i thought you were still settling in—”

“yeah, i got that done already,” chris said, stretching his arms over his head. “took a lot shorter than i expected.”

felix stared at chris, eyes narrowing slightly as if he was still processing what was happening. “wow. what the hell.”

chris just laughed, clearly pleased with himself. “surprised?”

felix scoffed. “yeah, no shit. you made it sound like you were too busy to even think about visiting.”

chris shrugged. “i like to keep things interesting.” then, as if remembering something, he turned to you, his expression brightening. “so, is this place any different from sydney?”

you exhaled, looking around for a moment before shaking your head with a grin. “very much so.”

chris chuckled, nodding in agreement. “yeah, the beach is unreal.” he tilted his head slightly. “what have you guys been up to lately?”

felix groaned immediately, rubbing his face. “oh, dude. did you guys get caught in that storm today on your way up?”

chris made a face. “yeah, it was horrendous.”

felix snorted. “yeah? well, we went surfing in it.”

chris’s head snapped toward him. “you idiots.”

you laughed, raising a hand. “in our defense, we didn’t know it was gonna get that bad.” then, shaking your head, you sighed. “i might be traumatized, though. i wiped out so hard, and my board came right back and smacked me in the face. i almost passed out.”

chris hissed through his teeth, wincing. “that sounds brutal.”

felix let out a heavy breath, crossing his arms. “oh my goodness, i was freaking out so much. i saw her bleeding—” he cut himself off, shaking his head, like the memory was still too fresh. “i swear my heart stopped for a second.”

chris raised an eyebrow, a teasing smirk tugging at his lips. “you guys are cute, you know that?” he said, clearly enjoying the playful dynamic between you and felix.

felix groaned, rubbing his face in mock embarrassment. “oh, god. please, no.” you laughed, nudging him with your elbow.

just as chris was about to say something else, his mom stepped into the room, carrying a tray of snacks. “alright, who’s ready for something to eat?”

her husband followed behind, holding a pitcher of lemonade. “we brought the good stuff,” he said with a smile, setting the drinks down on the coffee table.

“perfect,” chris said with a grin, moving to sit on one of the chairs as his parents placed the snacks down on the table.

day 5 - 22:00

it was around 10 p.m. when you decided to step back, letting felix and chris have their chance to catch up without you. you didn’t mind. you could tell they had a lot to talk about, and you were more than happy to give them the space to do so. the night air had cooled down, the sky darkened, and the faint glow of streetlights cast long shadows along the sidewalk as they started their walk.

you stood back, leaning against felix’s front door as they walked away, watching the two of them in the dim light. it was nice, knowing that they were reconnecting like this. you’d never been one to cling to every moment, and tonight, it felt right to let them share some space.

the sounds of their footsteps and occasional laughter drifted over to you, but eventually, they faded as they walked further down the street, making their way to the familiar spot where you and felix had shared a bonfire just days ago. you couldn’t help but smile a little as you imagined the conversations they were having.

“you think anyone's gonna be at the bonfire tonight?” felix asked, his voice carrying easily in the cool night air as they walked along the street. he shoved his hands in his jacket pockets, his breath fogging in front of him in the chilly night air.

“not sure,” chris said, glancing around. “but if not, i’m cool with just talking, man. it’s been way too long.”

felix smiled, his expression softening. “yeah, it’s been forever.”

the two of them walked in comfortable silence for a few moments, the only sound being the faint rush of the ocean waves in the distance. felix glanced at chris, his face lighting up with a playful grin as the conversation shifted gears.

“so, did you make it to jenny and jake’s birthday party the other day?” chris asked.

felix nodded, letting out a slight groan. “yeah, i went. it was... interesting, to say the least.”

chris raised an eyebrow, curious. “interesting how?”

felix paused, letting the silence hang in the air before breaking it with a casual but telling, “we, uh... we hooked up.”

chris’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief, and he stopped walking for a second, staring at felix like he’d just heard the most ridiculous thing. “what the fuck, man. you and jenny?” he blurted.

felix’s eyes widened in horror, quickly waving his hands to clarify. “no, no, no, not jenny,” he said, his voice getting a little frantic. “i meant—god, no. i meant y/n.”

chris blinked at him for a beat, the confusion on his face only deepening. “your girlfriend?” he laughed nervously, like he was trying to wrap his mind around the whole situation. “okay, man, you gotta be clearer next time. i thought you were talking about the twins—now that would’ve been wild.”

felix let out an exasperated sigh, a mix of relief and embarrassment crossing his face. “i’m sorry, man, i didn’t mean it like that.” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “i meant my girlfriend. we... we hooked up at the party.”

chris let out a nervous laugh, still trying to process what felix had just said. “but what else would you be doing all week? holding hands and playing at the beach?” he nudged felix’s shoulder, expecting him to join in on the joke.

felix, however, stayed silent, his expression more serious than chris was expecting. his gaze locked onto chris for a moment, and chris’s playful grin faltered as the realization hit him. felix’s eyes were intense, almost guarded, like he was holding something back.

chris’s smile slowly faded, his expression turning more cautious as he finally got it. “oh.” he said bluntly, his tone shifting.

felix nodded, his voice quiet when he spoke. “yeah.” it was a simple answer, but it hung in the air with a weight that made the conversation feel heavier than it had moments ago.

chris’s eyes widened a little, and he cleared his throat awkwardly. “wait, you... you haven’t...?”

felix shook his head, his lips pressing into a thin line. “no. not yet. just… we’ve been taking it slow.”

chris paused, processing that for a moment before he gave felix a thoughtful look. “damn, man. i didn’t realize it was like that. you know, i thought you two were... well, really close by now.”

felix let out a small laugh, though it wasn’t entirely light. “we are close. it’s just… important to me, you know?”

chris gave him a knowing look, a slight smirk creeping back onto his face. “i got you, man. taking it slow... doesn’t mean you’re not thinking about it, right?”

felix’s cheeks flushed slightly, and he rolled his eyes, but there was no hiding the quiet smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. “shut up.”

chris raised an eyebrow, his smirk turning a little more teasing as he shot a quick glance at felix. “have you guys talked about it yet?” he asked, the curiosity evident in his voice.

felix’s cheeks flushed deeper, and he rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “yeah... last night.” his voice was quieter now, almost like he wasn’t sure if he should even be saying this out loud.

chris nodded, his smile softening. “that’s great, man. i’m glad you two are communicating.” he gave felix a curious look. “but what’s holding you guys back, though? it seems like you’re both into it.”

felix let out a deep breath, his expression faltering as he thought about his words. he shifted slightly, rubbing the back of his neck again, clearly uncomfortable with the vulnerability of the conversation. “i don’t know… i just— it feels wrong, you know? we’ve only been exclusive for like a few months and…” he looked at chris, his eyes filled with uncertainty. “i haven’t even told her how i feel about her, like—really told her. it just doesn’t feel right rushing into anything.”

chris’s gaze softened, and he gave felix a serious look. "you haven’t told her you love her yet, felix?" he repeated, his tone quieter now, like he was trying to understand the hesitation.

felix exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair before muttering, “well… i did.”

“when?”

felix let out a humorless chuckle. “the other night, when i was a little drunk, i told her.” he shook his head, as if embarrassed just thinking about it. “i don’t even remember how it came out, but i know i said it. and she—” he hesitated, his jaw tightening.

chris leaned forward slightly, watching him closely. “what did she say?”

felix sighed, rubbing the back of his neck again. “she told me to talk about it when i was sober.” his voice was quieter now, laced with something almost regretful. “and then from that moment on, i just… pretended like i didn’t remember anything.”

chris groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “felix.”

felix let out a short laugh, shaking his head. “yeah, i know. it was an asshole move.” he exhaled sharply, staring at the ground as he kicked a loose rock down the path. “i mean… i’ve been thinking about it so much, but every time i want to say it, i just—” he cut himself off, his jaw tightening. “i just can’t get it out. ”

chris was quiet for a moment, his expression unreadable as he hesitated. he looked like he was debating whether or not to say something, his lips parting before he finally spoke. “do you think it might have something to do with… mabel?”

felix’s entire body stiffened at the name. his head snapped toward chris, eyes narrowing slightly—not in anger, but in something uncertain, something guarded. he didn’t respond right away. instead, he just stared at chris, his grip tightening in his pockets.

chris exhaled, nodding like he’d expected that answer. “you’ve told y/n about her, right?”

“yeah,” felix said quickly, before glancing away. “just… maybe not the specifics.”

chris held his gaze, watching him carefully. “i mean,” he continued, his voice gentler now, “it makes sense, doesn’t it?”

felix swallowed hard, his throat bobbing as he turned his eyes back to the path ahead. “i don’t know,” he said, but there was a weight behind it, like he wasn’t sure if he was lying to himself.

chris didn’t back down, watching felix carefully. “i mean, think about it,” he said, his voice measured. “you and mabel—”

felix flinched. it was subtle, just the faintest tension in his shoulders, but chris caught it. he caught the way felix’s fingers curled slightly, the way his jaw locked for just a second before he spoke.

“can we just…” felix exhaled, forcing a short, awkward chuckle. “can we keep her name out of this conversation?” his voice was lighter, but there was something tight behind it, like he was holding something back. “i don’t wanna talk about her.”

chris immediately backed off, nodding. “yeah. sorry.”

felix sighed, running a hand through his hair. “it’s not— i don’t feel anything for her anymore,” he clarified, shaking his head. “it’s not about that.”

“yeah, i understand. but, you know… just keep it in the back of your head. sometimes things stick with you more than you realize.”

felix let out a slow breath, staring ahead at the flickering glow of the bonfire pit in the distance. he knew chris was right. he just wasn’t sure if he was ready to face what that meant.

because if he admitted it—if he said that maybe, just maybe, what happened with mabel still had some kind of hold on him—then what did that mean? that he hadn’t gotten over her?

no. that wasn’t true. he knew that wasn’t true.

he’d be terrible not to, especially when the girl for him was you. it had been you from the moment he really let himself see it. mabel wasn’t in his life anymore. he never thought about her, never missed her, never wished for anything they had. he didn’t care.

and yet, every time her name came up, every time someone even hinted at what happened, there was pain in his chest.

like a ghost of something he’d already buried.

felix exhaled, forcing the thought away. he didn’t want to talk about her. he didn’t even want to think about her.

chris seized the opportunity to change the subject, clapping felix on the back lightly. “well,” he said, his tone shifting back to something more casual, “looks like we’re here.”

the distant crackle of the bonfire grew louder as they approached, accompanied by the hum of conversation and the strumming of a guitar. the music, slightly muffled by the night breeze, carried over to them, breaking through the tense silence that had settled between them.

felix’s lips curled into a small smile as they stepped onto the sand, the bonfire’s glow illuminating their faces. the crowd was smaller than when you and felix had come, but there were still plenty of people lounging on the logs, talking in clusters, and swaying to the music. some familiar faces turned toward them, offering nods or waves of recognition.

felix glanced at chris, then smiled to himself. “three…” he murmured under his breath.

chris frowned, tilting his head. “what are you doing?” he asked, chuckling in confusion.

felix didn’t answer, eyes scanning the group ahead. “two…”

chris narrowed his eyes, a laugh bubbling up. “felix, what—”

“and one.”

before he could question felix further, a voice cut through the music.

“oh my god, chris?”

a girl appeared seemingly out of nowhere, her eyes lighting up as she made a beeline for him. her voice dripped with excitement, and felix barely contained his grin as he watched chris’s reaction unfold.

felix, grinning shamelessly, leaned over just enough to murmur, “called it.”

chris barely had time to react before she was in front of him, flashing a bright smile. “i can’t believe you’re here,” she said, placing a hand lightly on his arm. “you look even better than i remembered.”

his lips curled into an amused smirk, eyes flicking over her face with that teasing glint. “better than you remembered?” he repeated, tilting his head slightly. “i mean, i’ll take the compliment, but now i have to wonder—exactly how bad was my competition?”

she laughed, rolling her eyes. “please. you know you weren’t competing with anyone.”

chris hummed, dragging his gaze away for just a second before looking back at her. “that so?” he mused. “good to know.” his tone was light, casual—but the way his words lingered, the way his eyes moved just a little slower, made it impossible to ignore the charge in the air.

felix barely contained his laughter, watching the exchange unfold. “i should start betting on this kind of thing,” he muttered under his breath, but neither of them heard him. 

chris chuckled softly, his smile still lingering, but he gave the girl a polite nod. “i’ll catch up with you later, yeah? it’s been a while, so i’ve got to make my rounds and say hi to everyone.”

she grinned, clearly not bothered by his subtle exit, and leaned in just a little closer, her hand brushing against his arm as she spoke. “of course, bang chan,” she said, his korean name slipping off her tongue in a teasing, flirty way. her fingers lingered for a second longer than necessary, the touch almost electric.

“it won't take long.” chris promised, a light laugh escaping him as he backed off slightly before the girl left. 

felix, still standing off to the side with an amused look on his face, couldn’t resist. “you’ve always had a way of doing that,” he commented, nudging chris with his elbow.

chris smirked, shaking his head. “well, i don’t know about that.” he glanced at felix, amusement flickering in his eyes. “you’re the one in the committed relationship, my guy.”

felix rolled his eyes, shaking his head but laughing nonetheless. “you’re not wrong,” he said. he leaned in, mimicking the girl’s earlier tone in a teasing voice, “bang chan.”

“shut up, lee yongbok,” he said, a playful edge to his voice, knowing full well it was a name felix hated being called.

felix froze for a second, his eyes widening as he scowled. “hey!” he smacked chris in the back of his head, but only half-seriously. “that’s crossing the line, man.”

felix couldn’t help but smile as he looked at chris. his best friend was back, and for now, that was enough. and it all felt good.

day 5 - 23:59

you could feel every inch of it, the wetness of the waves wrapping around you, soaking through the thin fabric of your clothes. your arms were heavy, each stroke harder than the last as you paddled out, your movements frantic but sluggish. the water felt wrong, its temperature sinking deep into your bones, each pull more exhausting than the one before.

you looked around, your breath hitching, but the view was nothing but endless dark water. no shore in sight. no land. just the vast ocean stretching on forever, swallowing you whole. the silence of it, broken only by the distant roar of the storm above, was deafening. the air was thick with pressure, and your chest felt tight as the clouds above swirled ominously, dark and brooding.

you glanced down at the water, and that’s when you saw it—first just a strange shift in color, and then it was clear. the water was no longer blue, but red. the deep crimson color spread out around you like the ocean itself had been transformed into blood. it felt wrong, as if the very world around you had turned against you. the water, once so familiar, now felt foreign, alien. you shivered as the sickening sight of it pulled at your stomach, a growing sense of unease crawling over your skin.

then, a ripple broke the surface of the water, followed by a wave. not a typical wave, but something far larger—an immense, towering thing that seemed to reach toward the heavens. the scale of it was terrifying. it moved slowly at first, but you could feel the pull of it, drawing closer with every second. your heart pounded as panic set in. you tried to paddle away, but it was hopeless. the wave was too big, too fast.

your body moved without thinking, your breath ragged and shallow as you fought against the current, paddling furiously as the water seemed to push back with every stroke. the fear settled deep into your chest, a cold knot that tightened with every passing moment. you knew it was coming, the giant wave, and you knew you couldn’t escape it. the storm above raged louder now, the thunder crashing like a warning.

the wave loomed closer, its massive shape blocking out the sky above. it felt like it would swallow you whole, and you couldn’t escape. there was no way out.

and then, with a deafening roar, the wave crashed over you. the world was swallowed in darkness, the cold water engulfing you completely. it was as if the ocean itself had turned on you, and the weight of it pressed down with crushing force.

your body jerked up in bed, a strangled gasp escaping your lips as your chest heaved with panic. sweat slicked your skin, and your heart raced, every muscle tense and trembling from the aftershock of the dream. 

the darkness of the room slowly started to take shape as you tried to catch your breath. your heart pounded in your chest, but gradually, as the room came into focus, you recognized the familiar surroundings—the pale blue walls, the soft glow of the moonlight filtering through the window. the gentle rustling of the wind outside reminded you that you were still in the beach house, the comforting warmth of the room in stark contrast to the cold, oppressive weight of the dream.

the incident earlier that day had a grasp on you, wrapping its tendrils around your thoughts.

taking a shaky breath, you closed your eyes, trying to steady yourself. but as soon as your eyelids fluttered shut, the nightmare flashed before your mind’s eye once more. the red water, the massive wave—everything came rushing back like a tide, threatening to pull you under once again. the fear surged within you, choking you, and your heart leaped into your throat.

you shot your eyes open again. you couldn’t do it. you couldn’t fall asleep again, not when you knew that the nightmare would be waiting, lurking in the dark corners of your mind, ready to drag you back into its depths.

rolling over onto your side, you stared at the ceiling, trying to steady your breathing, but sleep seemed so far away now. and with every second, the memories of the nightmare seemed to tighten their grip on you, keeping you wide awake.

you closed your eyes briefly, hoping to find some comfort in the dark, but every time you did, the nightmare flashed back into your mind, sharp and unsettling. you pulled the blanket up higher, trying to shield yourself from the thoughts, but it didn’t help. nothing felt right.

then, a sudden creak broke the silence.

your body tensed instantly, your eyes snapping wide open. the front door—just beyond the hallway—shifted in its frame with a soft noise. it wasn’t loud, but it was enough to stir a primal sense of unease in your gut. the sound was faint but familiar—the soft shuffle of footsteps in the hall. your heart skipped a beat as you realized it was felix.

you slowly pulled the blanket over your legs, trying to calm your nerves. the night still felt heavy, but you swung your legs over the side of the bed, your feet meeting the soft, plush carpet beneath you. slipping into your fluffy slippers, you took a steadying breath before standing, moving toward the door.

you could hear felix moving in his room, the sound of him adjusting things, probably getting ready for bed. but you weren’t ready for sleep—not with the feeling of the nightmare still lingering, clawing at your chest.

for a moment, you hesitated, your hand hovering over the door handle. should you go to him? you knew it was late, and you didn’t want to worry him, but you were in a bad state right now, and maybe... maybe being close to him would help you feel safe again.

you exhaled quietly, then pushed the door open, walking across the hallway to felix's room. the lights were on, and the brightness made you squint, your eyes adjusting to the sudden shift in light. felix was standing by his bedside, plugging his phone into the charger, his back turned to you.

once he heard your footsteps, he turned around almost instantly. felix’s eyes softened as he noticed the way you were standing in the doorway. his expression immediately shifted to one of gentle concern, his voice quiet as he said, “baby, i thought you’d be asleep by now.”

you didn’t respond right away, not sure how to explain the weight of the nightmare, the unease that still lingered. felix noticed your hesitation and immediately walked over to you, his movements smooth and careful. as he got closer, his eyes searched for yours, and the worry in his gaze deepened. “are you okay?” he asked, his voice soft.

you inhaled deeply, your chest rising and falling with a shaky breath as the fear still clung to you, making it harder to speak. felix’s hand gently rested on your arm, the touch light but grounding, as if he was trying to remind you that you weren’t alone in this moment. his eyes softened, and he waited for you to find the words, not pushing, just quietly offering support.

“i’m scared,” you finally whispered, your voice barely audible, but the vulnerability in it was clear.

felix’s brow furrowed slightly, his gaze filled with concern as he leaned in a little closer. “scared of what?” his voice was a soothing whisper, coaxing you to open up but still giving you space to process.

you swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in your throat. the nightmare felt like it had a hold on you—like the fear from it still clung to your mind, refusing to let go. it wasn’t just the dream itself, but the overwhelming feeling of being lost, alone, and helpless in the water. the dread that had flooded through you felt like it was seeping into every part of your body, even now, even with felix standing in front of you.

“i had a nightmare,” you admitted softly, feeling the weight of the words as they left your lips. it felt almost silly, but it was the truth. the dream had felt so real, the fear, the panic—it was hard to shake off.

felix gently squeezed your arm, his thumb moving in small circles as he listened to you. his eyes softened as he took in your words, his heart aching at how much distress you were in. he could feel the tension in your body, the way your breath was still a little shaky as you spoke.

felix's thumb gently stroked the inside of your arm, a steady, calming motion that sent warmth through you, though your heart still raced in a panic. he looked at you with concern in his eyes, his voice soft and reassuring. “what was it?”

you hesitated for a moment, your mind racing, but you needed to get it out. you took a shaky breath, trying to calm yourself enough to explain the nightmare, but your words kept tumbling out in a rush, the panic seeping through. “it… it was like, i was in the water. but it felt like everything was wrong. the ocean was… different. it was freezing, and then it turned red. like blood. and there was this huge wave. just… huge. like the one in that movie we saw together…” you trailed off, trying to remember it.

“interstellar.” felix filled in.

“like the waves in interstellar.” you nodded and carried on. “i was stuck, and i knew it was going to crush me, and i couldn’t do anything.”

you took a shaky breath, feeling your heart race again as you relived the moments from the dream. the panic in your chest grew, and you tried to calm it, but it was like it was spreading, wrapping around your throat.

“i think it has to do with this morning,” you added, your voice growing frantic as you tried to piece together what was happening. “the wipeout. i… i was so scared when i hit the water, and then my board came back at me, and it… it almost knocked me out. and now it’s like i can’t escape it. the waves, the storm. it all feels so real, and i don’t know how to make it stop.”

your voice caught in your throat, and before you could stop it, you were shaking your head, your hands tightening at your sides. “i know it’s stupid,” you muttered, feeling like you were making a bigger deal out of this than it was. “i shouldn’t have come to your room. it’s just a nightmare.”

felix’s heart ached seeing you like this. he stepped closer to you, his hand gently stroking your arm, trying to soothe the panic that had taken over. “hey, hey,” he whispered softly, his voice steady and full of warmth. “you’re not bothering me, baby. you can always come to me. i want you to.”

he stepped even closer, his body offering warmth and comfort as he pulled you into a soft, reassuring hug. his hand moved to the back of your head, gently running his fingers through your hair as he whispered, “and it’s not stupid, okay? what you’re feeling is real.” he paused, running his hand up and down your arm as if to soothe you, trying to calm the panic that still lingered in your chest. “can i tell you a secret?” he asked with the softest voice possible while he guided down to sit on his bed, the one he always made neatly every morning..

you nodded, looking up at him, searching his eyes for comfort. the sincerity in his gaze made you feel a little safer, even in the midst of your panic.

felix gave a small, almost embarrassed smile, his voice soft as he began. “even when i was 13, whenever i had a nightmare, i would still go to my parents' room. you know what they’d do?”

you shook your head, not entirely sure what he meant, but listening intently.

“my dad,” he chuckled softly, shaking his head. “he’d tell me to get their bed and then they’d stay with me to talk about it until i fell asleep.”

a laugh bubbled out of you despite yourself, the image of young felix sneaking into his parents' room bringing a lightness to your chest. “that’s cute,” you said, trying to smile, though the remnants of the nightmare still clung to you.

felix's smile deepened at the sound of your laugh, his tone lightening. “so, i’ll tell you what, why don’t you sleep with me tonight? i’m gonna go wash up real quick, but in the meantime you can wait for me in bed. is that okay?”

you nodded, feeling a small sense of relief settle over you just at the thought of him being there, taking care of you. “yes,” you murmured, your voice still quiet but softer than before.

felix smiled softly, his hand still resting on your arm as you both stood up. “come on,” he said gently. his movements were careful and deliberate, as if he was trying to make the space as comfortable as possible for you. he pulled the duvet off the bed, giving it a quick shake before walking back toward you.

without saying a word, he leaned down and kissed your forehead, a soft, affectionate gesture that made your chest feel a little lighter. “i’ll be quick,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin.

you nodded and gave him a small smile, though you couldn’t help but feel comforted by the gesture. as he made his way to the bathroom, he turned the lights off on his way out, leaving the room bathed in the soft glow of moonlight filtering through the window.

the sudden quiet was almost surreal. you moved down in the bed, curling up under the warm duvet. you pulled it close around you, the fabric soft and comforting against your skin. the bed smelled like him—like the faint scent of his cologne, like warmth, like safety—and it was as if the world outside the room ceased to exist for a moment.

you leaned your head back into the pillow, your body melting into the softness as you closed your eyes, feeling the last remnants of tension from the nightmare slip away. the rhythmic sound of your breathing slowly became steadier, and the night seemed less intimidating with him so near, even if he wasn’t physically in the room.

it felt like time passed in the blink of an eye. your mind wandered in that dreamlike state, the world shifting gently as you teetered on the edge of sleep. everything felt so much easier now. the warmth of the bed, the sense of calm that only felix could bring—you could almost forget the nightmare, the fear, and just let yourself drift away.

you stirred awake again, the softness of the bed and the warmth surrounding you pulling you from your dreams. as your eyes blinked open, the first thing you saw was felix, his shirtless figure silhouetted against the dim light. his features were soft, and he had a gentle smile on his face as he watched you, his presence filling the space around you.

he moved closer, his body warmth radiating toward you. his eyes searched yours for a moment, a trace of concern in them as he asked, "are you okay with this?" his voice was soft, like he didn’t want to pressure you but wanted to make sure you felt comfortable.

you smiled, feeling a sense of peace settle in your chest just at the sight of him. "more than ever," you replied, your voice barely a whisper but full of warmth.

felix slid an arm beneath you with effortless ease, his movements gentle but sure, as if he had done this a thousand times before. his other arm wrapped around your shoulders, drawing you in close until your body was pressed snugly against his chest. his warmth enveloped you instantly, a quiet reassurance against the lingering remnants of fear.

you felt the steady rise and fall of his breathing, the slow, rhythmic pattern grounding you in the moment. his scent—clean, familiar, tinged with the faintest hint of the ocean breeze—wrapped around you just as securely as his embrace. the soft fabric of his hoodie brushed against your cheek, and beneath it, the steady drum of his heartbeat thrummed against your skin.

felix shifted slightly, adjusting until you were tucked perfectly beneath his chin, your head nestled into the crook of his neck. his cheek rested against your temple, his breath warm as it fanned over your hair. one of his hands settled against your back, his fingers splayed lightly as if to shield you from the weight of the nightmare that still clung to your mind. the other draped over your arm, his thumb moving in slow, comforting circles against your skin.

his hold was protective but never constraining—just solid, just safe. his entire body seemed to curve around yours, sheltering you from anything that might still linger in the corners of your mind. the world outside ceased to exist in that moment. no crashing waves, no blood-red water, no looming shadows—just felix, warm and steady, anchoring you to reality.

felix didn’t hesitate. he slid an arm beneath you with effortless ease, his movements smooth and sure, as if it were second nature to him. his other arm wrapped around your shoulders, drawing you in until your body was flush against his bare chest. the contrast between the cool air and the warmth of his skin sent a shiver down your spine, but felix was quick to notice, pulling the blanket up around you both like a protective cocoon.

the heat of his body seeped into yours instantly, his skin warm and soft against your cheek. you could feel the steady rhythm of his heart beneath your fingertips, strong and soothing, grounding you as the remnants of your nightmare slowly unraveled. his scent—fresh, familiar, tinged with salt and something uniquely him—wrapped around you just as securely as his embrace.

felix shifted slightly, adjusting you until your head fit perfectly beneath his chin, your face tucked against the curve of his shoulder. his cheek pressed lightly against your hair, his breath warm as it fanned over your forehead. one of his hands rested against the small of your back, his fingers splayed lightly, while the other draped protectively over your arm, his thumb tracing slow, absentminded circles against your skin.

felix let out a slow breath, his chin resting lightly against your hair as he listened to the quiet sound of your breathing. it had evened out now, softer, steadier, no longer carrying the weight of panic. that alone made something in his chest tighten—relief.

he tilted his head slightly, just enough to look down at you. the soft glow of moonlight filtered through the window, casting faint silver highlights across your face. your features were relaxed now, peaceful, your lashes resting gently against your cheeks. the sight of you—so close, so completely at ease in his arms—made warmth flood through his entire body, spreading from his chest to the very tips of his fingers.

god, he loved you.

the thought hit him with quiet certainty, like a wave rolling in, steady and unstoppable. it wasn’t sudden. no, it had been there for a long time, buried beneath fleeting glances, quiet moments, and every touch that lingered just a little too long. but now, holding you like this, feeling the way you melted into him, trusting him even in your most vulnerable state—there was no denying it.

he loved you.

and it terrified him.

because if he told you—if he let the words slip past his lips—what would it change? would you look at him the same way, or would you pull away? would the comfort you found in his arms disappear, replaced by the weight of something unsaid, something too heavy to bear?

his grip on you instinctively tightened, just slightly, as if he could keep this moment frozen in time, untouched by the risk of words unspoken. felix let out a quiet sigh, tilting his head to press the softest of kisses against your temple.

for now, he would keep it to himself.

for now, he would let you sleep, safe and warm in his arms, and he would hold onto this moment for as long as you let him.

[pixiefelixie]

𓆝..°°𓈒 ⋆ (필릭스) : REMEMBER THIS SUMMER "WEDNESDAY"

𓆉 °°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ synopsis felix is living the summer every teenager dreams of, with a perfect beach house on the east coast of australia and an even more perfect girlfriend. by taking the best of both worlds, felix invites her to experience the world he grew up in to make this the best summer ever. amidst bonfires, romantic sunsets, and seagulls, felix has one goal this summer: to finally tell her he loves her. with just one week to do so, felix is met with a challenge to make his feelings known before time runs out. 

pairing: nonidol!felix x fem!reader, series warnings: felix + reader are intended to be 17-18, established relationship, fluff, they are hungover, vomiting (not graphic), light kissing, they have "the talk" but nothing happens, mdni!, indirect mentions of masturbation important notes: The content of this work is purely fictional and is not intended to endorse or encourage any behavior, especially among minors, that may be deemed inappropriate or unsafe. This story is created solely for entertainment purposes and should be understood as fiction. Reader discretion is advised.

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chapter under the cut! ~8k words

day 4 - 9:45

felix stared at the fogged-up mirror in front of him. the bathroom was silent, save for the faint drip of water from the showerhead, each drop echoing faintly in the tiled space. 

he inhaled deeply, the humid air filling his lungs as he reached out, his fingers pressing against the cool glass of the mirror, cutting through the fog. bit by bit, his face came into view—flushed cheeks from the heat, hair plastered to his damp forehead.

and then, he saw them.

three dark marks dotted the curve of his neck, faint but distinct against his skin. felix froze, breath catching in his throat, as he dragged his fingers over one of the hickeys, the dull ache beneath confirming their reality. his lips parted slightly as he tried to process what he was seeing.

“shit,” he muttered under his breath, the word escaping in a hoarse whisper. his face heated as realization dawned on him, the image of your lips trailing along his neck flashing in his mind. the memories weren’t completely clear, but the evidence was unmistakable. he at least remembered enough to know he hadn’t exactly been subtle about marking you either. 

everything last night was a blur. he remembered jake calling a cab, the two of you stumbling through the front door, and the way you laughed as you’d brushed past him to the living room. by the time he’d collapsed onto the couch, barely kicking off his shoes, exhaustion had pulled him under. 

his stomach churned—not from the alcohol, but from worry. you had to be hungover too, probably just as bad, if not worse, and that thought made his chest tighten. he glanced toward the bathroom door. you were probably still asleep, and for your sake, he wished you were out cold and not tossing and turning like he’d been before the shower.

with a sigh, he straightened up and grabbed a towel, draping it over his shoulders. his movements were stiffer than usual, every muscle protesting as he walked toward the door. pushing it open, he stepped into the cool hallway, the faint scent of his mother’s vanilla reed diffuser wafting through the house.

you were just down the hall, likely still buried under the covers. he hoped you were dreaming—something peaceful and soft. whatever it was, felix hoped it kept you far away from the pounding headache and queasy stomach you’d likely wake up with. maybe, just maybe, it was enough to shield you from the hazy memories of last night—at least until he figured out how to face them himself. 

but he’d take care of you, no question about it. felix couldn’t let you spend the day dehydrated and disoriented, especially not when he knew how rough mornings like this could be.

he reached the kitchen counter, the faint hum of the fridge filling the silence as he grabbed a glass from the cabinet. the cool stream of water flowed into the glass, the sound breaking the stillness. setting it down, he opened a drawer and fumbled for the bottle of advil, his fingers brushing past packets of gauze and cough syrup.

twisting the cap off, felix shook out one pill, pausing as he stared down at it resting in his palm. he then tossed it into his mouth, following it with a quick swig of water. the cold liquid slid down his throat, easing some of the dryness but doing little to dull the sharp throb behind his eyes.

setting the glass down with a muted clink, he braced himself against the counter, his palms pressing hard into the cool surface. a low groan escaped his lips as he squeezed his eyes shut, his grip on the counter tightening as the pounding in his head momentarily became worse. each pulse felt like a hammer strike, echoing in his skull and making it hard to focus on anything but the dull ache radiating through him.

later, felix was sitting on the couch, the television flickering with the muted images of some random survival game show he’d put on in an attempt to distract himself. it wasn’t working. the contestants were yelling and struggling with ropes, but the sound barely registered in his mind. the painkillers hadn’t kicked in yet. he leaned forward, elbows propped on his legs, his face buried in his hands. his knee bounced rhythmically, hoping it would somehow help his headache, when a noise cut through his haze. 

he froze, his head tilting slightly as he strained to hear it over the low hum of the tv. he grabbed the remote quickly, pausing the show. the silence that followed was almost deafening, his ears straining for the smallest noise.

and then he heard it again. a cough, faint but unmistakable. his heart sank, dread knotting in his chest as the realization hit him like a freight train.

he bolted off the couch, his hangover momentarily forgotten as he rushed toward the bathroom. the door was ajar, and as he pushed it open, his worst fear was confirmed. there you were, hunched over the toilet, your body wracked with dry heaves before another wave hit you. felix’s chest tightened at the sight.

“hey, hey, i’m here,” he said softly, his voice calm despite the unease twisting in his stomach. without hesitation, he knelt behind you, one hand reaching out to gently gather your hair, pulling it away from your face and holding it securely. his other hand rested lightly on your back, rubbing slow circles. 

his jaw tightened as he glanced toward the toilet bowl for a split second before quickly averting his eyes, his stomach churning at the sight. he squeezed his eyes shut, tilting his head back toward the ceiling as he tried to focus on anything but the sounds and images in front of him.

“you’re okay,” felix murmured, his voice steady even as he struggled to keep his composure. his hand stayed firm on your back, offering comfort while he kept his gaze fixed on the ceiling, his lips pressed into a thin line.

finally, you stopped, a shaky breath escaping you as you slumped forward slightly. felix heard you reach for the flush handle, the sound of the toilet filling the bathroom as relief washed over him. he felt your hand blindly reach for him, your fingers brushing against his arm before pressing weakly against his chest, urging him back.

he understood immediately, loosening his hold and stepping away, giving you the space you needed. he let go of your hair gently, making sure it fell neatly on your back, and took a step toward the door.

“i’ll… i’ll be right outside, okay?” felix added, glancing over his shoulder for a split second before quickly looking away again, not wanting to make you feel more self-conscious. without another word, he slipped out of the bathroom, closing the door halfway behind him to give you privacy.

once in the hallway, he exhaled sharply, leaning against the wall as he ran a hand through his hair as he waited.

in the bathroom, you leaned against the counter, your hands gripping the cool edge as you stared down into the sink. your breathing was uneven, and the remnants of the queasiness still churned faintly in your stomach. the unpleasant taste lingered, making your lips press together.

you reached for the faucet, twisting it on and letting the cold water run for a moment before cupping it in your hands to rinse your mouth. the first rinse wasn’t enough—you could still feel the unpleasantness lingering.

grabbing a glass from the counter, you filled it with water, gargling thoroughly before spitting it out. once, twice, and then a third time, each rinse a little longer than the last. even after that, the feeling didn’t seem to fully fade.

with a grimace, you turned to the bottle of mouthwash. you hated it, but right now, you couldn’t stand the idea of not using it. pouring a generous amount, you tipped it back and swished it around your mouth, wincing as the minty sting spread. you spat it out, rinsed again, and then repeated once more, your resolve unwavering despite how much you despised the taste. 

when you finally set the bottle down, you let out a shaky breath, steeling yourself as you straightened up and faced the mirror. your reflection looked tired—no, wrecked. you had seen movies like the hangover and heard stories that made drunken nights sound either hilarious or horrifying, but you’d always thought people were exaggerating. surely, it wasn’t that bad.

who knew it could be this bad? the nausea, the brain fog, the absolute terror of not remembering half of last night. sure, you remembered laughing, dancing, and having a great time, but there was a vast, blurry void where the rest should be. what if you’d done something embarrassing? or worse, what if you’d done something stupid? your mind immediately went to felix. what if you’d done something you had no control over? with him? your stomach twisted into knots as a flood of questions drowned any rational thought.

you were done. done with the nausea, done with not remembering, done with whatever this was. it was all too much. you pressed your hands against your face, hiding from the mirror, hiding from the chaos swirling in your head. and then, between your fingers, you peeked out through the cracks, just enough to catch a glimpse of yourself again. your eyes settled on your neck—those damn hickeys staring back at you.

a shiver ran down your spine, and despite the discomfort, something about them made your heart race all over again. you bit back a laugh, but it was shaky, unsure. a flush crept up your neck, and you felt the heat building. god, what the fuck had happened last night? you swallowed hard, trying to fight the growing unease. felix. right. you just needed to talk to him. you had to stop spiraling. you had to stop letting this mess overwhelm you.

with a final shaky breath, you turned, your hand reaching for the doorknob. you could apologize, ask questions, and maybe, just maybe, get some answers. but as soon as your fingers brushed the cool metal of the knob, the door creaked open. and there, standing just on the other side, was felix.

he had been leaning against the wall, his head resting back with his eyes closed, but at the soft creak of the door, he turned toward you instantly. his eyes swept over you, his brow furrowing with a worry as he saw you standing there. you stood frozen, your hand still on the doorknob, the world around you suddenly very still.

before you could say anything, your boyfriend closed the space between you in a heartbeat. his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close, his chin resting lightly on the top of your head as he held you firmly against him. felix felt warm—comfortingly, overwhelmingly warm. his damp hair still carried the faintest scent of shampoo, mingling with the vanilla from the hallway and something distinctly him, something familiar that made you breathe in a little deeper. he didn’t say anything, didn’t ask if you were okay, didn’t press for answers. he just held you, arms snug around your waist, his steady heartbeat thudding against your ear. 

it was like he knew exactly what you needed before you could even ask for it. felix’s hand found its way to the back of your head, his fingers threading gently through your hair, his touch slow and soothing. he tilted his head slightly, resting his cheek against the top of yours, his breath soft and steady. bit by bit, your hands slid around his back and held on tightly, finally hugging back.

day 4 - 12:00

the soft rustling of leaves above you filtered through the haze of your half-sleep, sunlight sneaking through the gaps in the branches to paint dappled patterns across your skin. you blinked slowly, your eyes adjusting to the golden light of noon, the world around you bathed in warmth. the gentle sway of the hammock beneath you was calming, lulling you back toward that fragile place between sleep and wakefulness.

it wasn’t until you felt the steady rise and fall of felix’s chest beneath your cheek that you truly woke up. his arm was wrapped loosely around your waist, fingers resting lightly on your side. the warmth of his body pressed against yours, solid and comforting, while his other hand rested just behind your neck.

you shifted slowly in his arms, careful not to wake him as you turned around. the hammock swayed gently beneath you, but felix didn’t stir, his breathing steady and calm. now facing him, you took in every detail of his peaceful expression—the faint dusting of freckles scattered across his cheeks and nose, glowing softly in the sunlight. his lashes, longer than you ever remembered noticing before, rested against his skin, casting the faintest shadows over his face. his pink lips were slightly parted, his breath warm and even as it brushed across your cheek.

he looked beautiful, in the kind of effortless way that made your chest ache. peaceful, familiar, and completely unaware of the effect he had on you in moments like this. your eyes traced the lines of his face, remembering the boy you first met, the one who made you laugh with little effort, who could lighten any mood just by being there. he’d always had this quiet way of making you feel safe, but over time, it had grown into something much more. it wasn’t just comfort you felt with him now—it was something deeper, something you weren’t sure you had the right words for.

yesterday at the cove, the way he had shown you his world—his quiet place, the way he looked at you like you were something precious. last night, his arms around you when you needed it most, not just holding you but holding you together. all of it was swirling in your mind, and before you could stop yourself, before you could even second-guess it, the words slipped past your lips in a soft whisper.

“i love you.”

but felix didn’t stir. his breathing stayed steady, slow and deep. he was dead asleep, completely unaware of the confession you had just made. you watched him, half relieved and half disappointed, your heart still pounding from the weight of those words. the way they had come out so naturally told you something you hadn’t fully grasped until now.

you really did love him.

it wasn’t just infatuation, or excitement, or the comfort of having someone close. it was something deeper—something you felt in moments like this, when he wasn’t even awake to hear your thoughts, and yet just being near him brought you a quiet sense of peace. you didn’t need him to hear you right now; you just needed to feel it, to sit with the truth of it for a little while.

but you knew one thing for sure—you wanted to tell him. really tell him, when he was awake, when he could look at you with those warm, steady eyes that always made you feel like the most important person in the world. you wanted to tell him, and you knew exactly when you would.

on your last day here, before you leave, you would say it again.

you hoped he loved you too. when you tell him, when you finally say those words aloud, you hoped—god, you hoped—that he’d say them back. that he’d look at you the way you looked at him, like you were the most important thing in his world. like you weren’t just someone to him, but his someone.

your hand moved, reaching up slowly, hesitantly, like you were afraid one little sound would disturb him. with the lightest touch, your fingers brushed a stray strand of hair from his forehead. it was soft beneath your fingertips, and you let your touch linger.

he was beautiful in that moment—achingly so. like summer in a boy. his tan skin seemed to glow in the dappled sunlight, freckles scattered across his cheeks and nose like constellations, his beach-blonde hair a tousled mess that somehow made him even more perfect. 

as your fingers grazed his cheek, felix stirred. his brows knitted together slightly, and his lips pressed into a soft line before parting again with a quiet sigh. you froze, hand still hovering near his face, holding your breath. his lashes fluttered, and then those warm, sleepy brown eyes opened. they blinked slowly at first, taking a second to focus, and then they locked on yours. a soft, groggy smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

felix murmured, “hi.”

you felt a flutter in your chest, the way his voice came out low making you forget your own name for a moment. you blinked, a soft smile tugging at your lips as you replied, “hi.”

before you could say anything else, felix leaned in, closing the small space between you. his lips brushed against yours in the softest, sweetest kiss, and every thought melted out of your mind like a popsicle in the sun. his hand, still resting on the back of your neck, pulled you just a little closer as his lips moved against yours.

when he pulled back, you swayed slightly, feeling dazed and weightless, like he’d stolen the ground from under your feet. his forehead rested against yours, and you felt the light brush of his breath as he chuckled softly.

“you okay?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

you nodded at his question, but felix didn’t look entirely convinced. his hand moved from your neck, brushing against your arm before settling on your waist. he tilted his head slightly, his eyes searching yours, their warmth cutting through the hazy remnants of sleep.

“tell me what’s on your mind,” he said softly, his voice laced with that quiet reassurance he always seemed to carry.

you hesitated, chewing on your bottom lip as you tried to piece together a response that wouldn’t give too much away. finally, you managed a quiet, “nothing. i just… don’t wanna leave this place.”

felix’s gaze softened even more, and his lips curved into a faint smile. he leaned back slightly, his head resting against the edge of the hammock as he turned to look at the horizon. “yeah,” he murmured, his voice thoughtful, “that’s what the beach does to you. gets into your skin, your head. makes you want to stay forever.”

but it wasn’t the beach you were going to miss, and the realization hit you harder than you’d expected. the salt in the air, the soft sand, and the constant lull of the waves were beautiful, sure, but they paled in comparison to the boy lying next to you. it wasn’t this place—it was felix.

you swallowed the thought, your chest tightening as you stared at him. his profile was relaxed, his gaze fixed ahead as if he were thinking about the ocean and the stars and all the ways this place had shaped him. you wanted to memorize the way the sunlight framed his face, how his hair glinted gold and how his lips curved ever so slightly, caught somewhere between a smile and a sigh.

“felix?” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

he turned his head toward you, his brow lifting slightly in acknowledgment. “mhm?”

you took a breath, the words teetering on the edge of your tongue. i love you. they wanted to spill out, to fill the space between you. but something held you back—fear, or maybe the weight of the moment. instead, you shifted closer, your hand brushing against his on the hammock.

“when we leave,” you started, your voice quieter now, “i just… i don’t want this to disappear. us.”

felix blinked at you, a hint of confusion softening his features. “why would it?” he asked, his tone gentle but curious, like he genuinely didn’t understand where the doubt was coming from. his fingers shifted, brushing against yours in a way that felt deliberate—grounding. “we’ll see each other every day.”

your lips quirked into a faint, bittersweet smile. “yeah, but it’ll be different,” you murmured, glancing down at where your hands touched. “at school… we’re gonna be in our final year and there’s gonna be, like, a million other things going on. homework, classes, college applications. it’s not—” you paused, struggling to find the right words. “it’s not like here. here, it’s just us.”

you were scared—beyond scared. summer was easy. it was golden and slow and safe. summer was your favorite, where everything felt lighter, where the world shrank down to just you and felix in this little bubble that didn’t have to compete with school or life or… the future.

felix watched you, his gaze steady. then, softly, like he was handing you the answer to a question you hadn’t even asked, he said, “nothing gonna come between us, baby.”

the pet name slipped out of him so naturally, like it had always been there. you didn’t know if he noticed the way your lips twitched into a small, barely-there smile at it. you still remembered the first time he’d said it, half-drunk and entirely unapologetic, slurring it like some lovesick idiot after way too many beers at last night’s party.

you didn’t say anything. you didn’t have to. instead, you shifted closer, resting your head against his chest. the hammock swayed slightly under the new weight, but felix didn’t falter. his arm looped around you instinctively, pulling you in like he was afraid you might slip away.

you closed your eyes, letting the steady rhythm of his heartbeat fill the quiet. it was strong and even, a contrast to the fluttering mess inside your own chest. you focused on it, letting it ground you, the way his hand moved slowly up and down your back. nothing’s gonna come between you.

day 4 - 19:00

the water was calm, the kind of stillness that mirrored the oranges and pinks of the fading sky. the boat hummed softly beneath you as felix steered it further out, his hands steady on the wheel. you sat on the cushioned seat beside him, your legs tucked under you, the warm breeze brushing against your skin.

“are you gonna tell me where we’re going yet?” you asked, leaning forward a little, trying to catch a glimpse of his face.

he glanced back at you with that infuriatingly smug grin he always wore when he thought he was being clever. “nope. it’s a surprise.”

you rolled your eyes, leaning back again. “you know, the last time we went out, i had to be in heels and a dress. so if this is another one of those things, you better tell me now.”

felix snorted, turning the wheel slightly. “relax. it’s not like that.”

you narrowed your eyes at him. “are you sure? because i don’t look nice enough for a ‘fancy mystery event.’”

“not at all,” he said, glancing over his shoulder again. “you always look good anyway.”

that made you pause for half a second, your heart doing that stupid little flip it always did when he said stuff like that. you brushed it off quickly, though, shaking your head like you weren’t affected.

“okay, but if there are drinks involved, i’m out,” you warned, pointing a finger at him. “i cannot get hungover again, felix. my body’s still mad at me from last night.”

he burst out laughing, his shoulders shaking. “don’t worry. no drinks this time. i promise.”

you eyed him suspiciously, crossing your arms over your chest. “you swear?”

“swear,” he said, holding up a hand like he was taking some solemn oath. “scout’s honor.”

you rolled your eyes again, but this time, a smile tugged at your lips. “you were never a scout, felix.”

“just trust me, alright?” he said, waving a hand dismissively. 

you sighed, leaning back into the seat with an exaggerated "okay," but your eyes wandered to him again. felix had on a white tank top that clung snugly to his frame, showing off his toned arms and shoulders. the backwards louis vuitton cap your mom had given him sat perfectly on his head, like it had been made for him.

your gaze lingered a second too long, and before you realized it, you’d reached out, your fingers brushing his bicep. his skin was warm under your touch, and he glanced back at you, that same closed-mouth smile spreading across his face. he didn’t say anything—he didn’t have to. the way his eyes softened, the way the corners of his lips tugged upward just a bit more, was enough to make your heart skip.

“you’re looking at me weird,” he teased lightly, his voice low and amused.

you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the heat creeping up your neck. “i’m not,” you lied, leaning into him. 

“is the concealer noticeable?” he asked.

the hickeys. you’d spent a good ten minutes in the bathroom together before leaving, trying to cover them up. felix had been obediently trying his best to stay still, sitting on the edge of the counter while you worked your magic with concealer, blending it into his sensitive neck. every time you got too close to a particularly bad spot, he’d squirm, his fingers tapping against the countertop, his face scrunching as he jolted.

“you’re tickling me,” he’d complained, his voice muffled by a laugh.

“hold still, felix, i’m trying my best,” you’d said, trying to focus, but it wasn’t easy. the moment you touched his neck in the wrong way, he’d burst into another fit of giggles. you had also covered your own, however it was much easier to do it on yourself.

you glanced over at him again, your fingers still resting on his arm. "only if you’re really staring at it, and even then, it blends pretty well." 

he nodded in approval. “did you bring your camera?”

“yeah,” you said, tapping the pocket of your shorts where the compact camera was tucked away. “right here. why?”

his grin widened, and he tilted his head toward the open water ahead. “you’re gonna want it. trust me.”

your brows furrowed as you looked out toward the horizon, where the last bits of sunlight were melting into the water. “are you trying to be mysterious again?”

“always,” he said.

you couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head at him. but as the boat hummed forward and the breeze swept through your hair, you realized you didn’t mind. whatever felix had planned, it was already perfect—because it was him.

about fifteen minutes later, the boat slowed as felix guided it toward a smaller harbor, the soft hum of the engine fading into the gentle lapping of the water against the dock. this one was cozier than the bustling harbor you’d been to two days ago, with just a few boats bobbing gently in the evening breeze and lanterns casting warm, golden light along the wooden planks. it was quaint, almost magical in its simplicity.

felix cut the engine, and you stood, already moving to grab the anchor without him having to say a word. he paused, watching you with an amused smile as you carefully dropped it into the water, your movements precise and confident.

“look at you,” he said, leaning back against the wheel, his arms crossing casually. “taught you once, and now you’re a pro.”

you glanced back at him, the faintest hint of pride in your expression. “what can i say? i’m a quick learner.”

felix chuckled, shaking his head. “it’s cute, though. seeing you do it.”

you rolled your eyes, brushing past him as you moved toward the side of the boat. “you’re the worst,” you muttered, but the smile tugging at your lips betrayed you. “so,” you said, folding your arms as you stood in front of him. “when are you finally going to tell me what this is all about?”

felix’s grin widened. “just wait,” he said, his voice low with barely contained amusement.

you narrowed your eyes at him. “felix.”

he laughed, throwing his head back like he couldn’t help himself. “i swear, you’re so impatient. just sit tight for like five more minutes.”

you followed felix, your hand still clasped in his as the two of you walked further down the narrow path. the hum of chatter grew louder, but it was faint, like it was coming from somewhere far off. the string lights overhead guided your way, the soft glow flickering in the dusk.

“how far is this thing?” you asked, half-laughing, as you tried to match his pace.

“not far,” felix said, his tone annoyingly casual, like he wasn’t dragging you on what felt like a never-ending journey.

“you’ve said that twice already,” you teased, your eyebrows raised. “starting to think you’re just making this up.” you sighed dramatically, letting your free hand swing at your side. the path curved slightly, and as you rounded the bend, you spotted a tall gate up ahead, its iron bars intertwined with colorful ribbons and tiny australian flags. “okay, what’s this?” you asked, pointing to the gate.

before felix could answer, a teenage boy popped into view. he was perched on a low wall beside the gate, his face painted in streaks of white, red, and blue. he grinned widely, waving a little flag in one hand. “oi, felix!”

felix grinned back, giving the kid a casual salute. “hey, max.”

max hopped down from the wall, pulling the gate open with a flourish. “come on in. everyone’s already here.”

you couldn’t help but laugh as felix tugged you forward. “felix, what’s—”

you trailed off as the two of you stepped through the gate and the scene came into view. the path opened up to a grassy field lined with stalls and strung with even more lights. people were everywhere—families spread out on picnic blankets, kids running around with ice creams melting down their fingers, and groups of friends laughing over food trucks. the air smelled like sausages on the grill, sunscreen, and the salty tang of the nearby ocean.

you blinked, looking around at the colorful stalls and the australian flags fluttering in the breeze. there was live music playing in the background, the kind of upbeat, folksy tune that made you want to tap your feet.

“wait,” you said, pulling felix to a stop. “what…what is this?”

he turned to you, his smile soft but teasing. “are you serious right now?”

you glanced around again, taking in the festive energy, the clusters of people chatting, and the kids waving sparklers. that’s when it hit you. “oh my god,” you muttered, stopping in your tracks. “this is for australia day, isn’t it?”

felix turned to you, his grin widening. “took you long enough. thought you’d forgotten.”

“i did forget!” you admitted, still scanning the scene. “how did i not realize? this is so—” you gestured helplessly at the vibrant crowd and the little kids squealing as they chased each other with water pistols. “i feel so dumb.”

“you’re not dumb,” felix said, taking your hand again and tugging you gently forward. “you’re just distracted. lucky for you, i’ve got it covered.” felix chanted before steering you toward a brightly decorated stall. it was overflowing with festive items—hats, flags, leis, face paint kits, and more, all in vibrant red, white, and blue. a middle-aged man behind the counter greeted felix with a warm smile and a nod.

felix immediately started rifling through the items, holding up a top hat bedazzled with gems. “what do you think? too much?”

“not enough,” you said, giggling.

“perfect, then,” he quipped, tossing it onto the counter before grabbing a headband with stars sticking out on springs. he turned to you, eyes bright. “this one’s so you.”

you rolled your eyes but stood still as he slid the headband onto your head, making a show of adjusting it like it was some crown.

“pretty,” he said, stepping back to admire his work.

“your turn,” you said, grabbing a pair of ears shaped like a kangaroo’s. felix laughed but let you slip them onto his head, over his cap.

“you’re lucky i can pull anything off,” he said, grinning.

“uh-huh, sure,” you said, sifting through a pile of leis. “let’s see if you can pull this off too.” you draped a ridiculously oversized lei of red, blue, and white flowers around his neck after he took the other one from your hand.

it was massive, the flowers nearly swallowing your neck as felix placed the other one over your head. he took his time, carefully arranging it so it sat just right, his hands brushing against your shoulders. when he stepped back, he was smiling, a small, fond curve of his lips that made your heart stutter. the smirk faded slightly, replaced by something softer, deeper. his eyes dipped to your lips, and you could see the moment the thought crossed his mind.

he leaned in, his hands sliding to your waist as his face inched closer.

“felix—” you started, quickly placing your hand on his chest to stop him.

he froze, blinking down at you, his brows furrowed in confusion. “what?”

“not out here, you bozo,” you said, motioning vaguely at the bustling festival crowd around you.

felix groaned, throwing his head back dramatically. “one kiss,” he whined, tilting his head to the side like a puppy trying to plead his case.

you sighed, rolling your eyes, but the corners of your lips twitched upward. “fine. one,” you relented, stepping closer.

before he could even react, you leaned up, your hands finding their way to his shoulders as you tilted your head to meet him. the moment your lips touched, the playful energy melted away, replaced by something warm and sweet. felix smiled against your mouth, and you couldn’t help but smile too, your fingers brushing the soft fabric of his tank top as his hands lightly held your waist. when he pulled away, his grin was so wide it was almost ridiculous. 

“that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

day 4 - 21:00

the festival’s hum of activity had faded into the background as you and felix escaped the crowd, venturing toward a quiet dock that stretched out over the still water. the lanterns strung along its length cast soft, golden reflections on the surface, and the stars above seemed to mirror them. the night air was warm, with a gentle breeze carrying the distant sound of laughter and music.

you sat side by side at the edge of the dock, your legs swinging lazily over the water. between you, felix held a small cup of ice cream, the soft serve swirled high and already began to melt slightly under the warmth of his hand. the two of you had split it from a vendor back at the festival, picking a mix of flavors—chocolate and vanilla with a drizzle of caramel and crushed tim tams sprinkled on top.

felix dug the tiny plastic spoon into the ice cream, scooping up a bite with a generous helping of toppings. he held it up to you with a grin. “open.”

you raised an eyebrow, eyeing the precarious way the caramel threatened to drip. “if you drop that on me, i swear—”

“shh,”

with a sigh, you leaned in and took the bite, the cold sweetness melting on your tongue and you couldn’t help the little hum of satisfaction that escaped you. felix watched you as you took the bite, his grin softening into something more tender. he set the cup down carefully between the two of you, his hands brushing against his knees as he leaned back slightly. the lantern light reflected in his eyes, giving them an almost golden hue as he gazed out at the water.

“you always do that,” he said, his voice quiet but amused.

“do what?” you asked, licking a stray bit of caramel from your lip.

he smiled, shaking his head. “that little sound you make when you’re enjoying something. it’s cute.”

you felt a blush creeping up your neck and quickly looked away, focusing on the gentle ripples in the water. “i don’t think i do it all the time.”

“maybe because you’re not the one listening for it,” he said, nudging you lightly with his shoulder.

you laughed softly, trying to brush off the warmth his words left behind. for a moment, neither of you said anything, the silence between you filled only by the occasional creak of the dock. the distant hum of the festival was like a soundtrack to the moment—a faint, cheerful buzz that felt miles away. and yet, your mind wasn’t as still as the scene around you. a question had lodged itself there, quiet but insistent, and no matter how much you tried to shove it aside, it kept resurfacing.

it wasn’t just a random thought. it was something that had lingered since the early days of your relationship, sitting in the corners of your mind, unspoken but not forgotten. you’d always been too nervous to bring it up, afraid it might ruin the lightness between you or make things awkward. but over the past few days—this trip, the closeness you’d shared—it had started to feel like the right time.

you glanced at felix out of the corner of your eye. he was leaning back on his palms, his face turned toward the water, the lantern light tracing soft golden lines across his features. his freckles seemed more prominent in the glow, like constellations scattered across his skin. he looked so peaceful, so unguarded.

maybe that’s why you finally felt brave enough.

you shifted slightly, your legs swinging a little slower over the edge of the dock. felix must have noticed, because he turned his head to look at you, his brows drawing together just slightly. “what’s on your mind?” he asked, his voice gentle.

you hesitated, your fingers toying with the hem of your shorts. “nothing,” you said quickly, but the way felix tilted his head told you he wasn’t buying it.

“come on,” he said, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “i know that look. you’re thinking about something.”

you sighed, chewing on your bottom lip as you tried to gather the courage to speak. “it’s just... there’s something i’ve been wondering about. for a while, actually.”

felix’s expression softened, and he straightened up, leaning forward slightly so his elbows rested on his knees. “okay,” he said, his tone steady. “what is it?”

you looked down at the rippling water, your heart thudding against your ribs. “it’s kind of... personal.”

felix didn’t miss a beat. “you can ask me anything,” he said, his voice low but sure.

you sighed, your fingers absentmindedly playing with the hem of your shorts. “have you ever... you know.”

felix’s eyebrows lifted slightly, but his expression didn’t waver. “have i ever what?”

you exhaled through your nose, feeling the warmth creeping up your cheeks. “have you been so close with somebody that you’ve... gone far with them?”

felix blinked once, and then, without missing a beat, said, “sex?”

you groaned, pressing your palms to your face. “felix,” you mumbled, peeking at him through your fingers.

“what?” he said, laughing, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “that’s what you’re asking, right?”

you dropped your hands, shaking your head at him. “could you be any more straightforward?” you rolled your eyes, but the smile tugging at your lips betrayed you. “i was trying to be subtle.” felix shrugged, dipping his spoon back into the melting ice cream and holding another bite up to you. you took the bite reluctantly, chewing thoughtfully before swallowing. “so?” you pressed, tilting your head.

felix leaned back on his palms, exhaling as he stared up at the sky for a moment. “no,” he said finally.

you blinked, processing his answer. “oh.”

you weren’t exactly surprised, but you weren’t expecting it either. it was one of those things that had always hovered in the back of your mind—not that it mattered, really. felix had been with one other girl before you, and even though he never talked much about their relationship, you’d always wondered. he never told you how they broke up or why. it was this little mystery, one he avoided immediately whenever it came up.

felix must’ve sensed the gears turning in your head because he glanced over at you, a small smile playing on his lips. “if i did, i would’ve told you.”

you nodded slowly, dragging your gaze away from the water to meet his eyes. “yeah, i know.”

he tilted his head, studying you for a second before his lips curled into a teasing grin. “wait... have you?”

your eyes widened, and you sat up straighter, your face heating instantly. “no! no, no, no,” you rushed out, waving your hands for emphasis.

felix burst into laughter, his head falling back as his shoulders shook. “why’d you say it like that?” he teased, nudging your knee with his. “so defensive.”

“you’re the worst.”

felix grinned, nudging you again. “hey, at least we’re in the same boat.”

you sighed dramatically, dropping your hands. “yeah, yeah.”

he smirked, reaching for the ice cream cup again and scooping up another bite. “want another?”

you narrowed your eyes at him but leaned in anyway, letting him feed you. the sweetness melted on your tongue, but you were too focused on the way he was watching you—something softer beneath the teasing, something thoughtful.

you sighed, letting your gaze drift over the water. “i just feel like it’s a complicated thing.” you picked at the hem of your shorts again. “like, people act like it’s supposed to be this huge milestone, you know? and it is, i guess, but... i don’t know.”

felix nodded, his expression thoughtful as he watched you. “yeah,” he said after a moment. “it is complicated.”

“i feel like there’s all this pressure,” you continued, your voice softer. “like... it has to happen at the right time with the right person, and if it doesn’t, it’s just... i don’t know.” you exhaled, frustrated with yourself. “it’s a lot to think about.”

felix tilted his head, his eyes flicking toward the distant lights of the festival before settling back on you. he rubbed his hands together, like he was thinking carefully about his next words. “i don’t think it has to be that complicated, you know? like... it’s only a big deal if you make it one. and i guess, yeah, it should be with the right person, but... i don’t think there’s a perfect time or anything.”

you nodded slowly, taking in what he was saying. “yeah, i guess you’re right.”

felix smiled a little, nudging your knee with his again. “i usually am.”

you rolled your eyes, but there was no real annoyance behind it. “don’t push your luck.”

he grinned, but his tone stayed sincere. “seriously, though. i think... as long as it feels right, that’s what matters.”

felix’s words lingered in your mind, weaving themselves into the thoughts you’d been carrying for a while now. you glanced at him, taking in the way the soft glow from the lanterns highlighted his face—his freckles standing out against his tanned skin, his lips slightly parted in thought.

felix tilted his head slightly, his dark eyes fixed on you in a way that made your chest tighten. his expression was curious, patient, but there was something else there—like he was searching for something beneath your words.

“is there a reason you’re asking this?” he asked, his voice soft, careful.

your breath hitched, and you felt your pulse quicken. the question wasn’t accusatory, but it caught you off guard all the same. you swallowed, your fingers brushing over the fabric of your shorts in a nervous rhythm.

“i mean... not really,” you said, trying to sound casual but failing miserably. “i just... i don’t know. i guess i thought maybe you would have. you know, with...” you hesitated, almost wishing you could take it back, but then the name slipped out. “what was her name again?”

felix blinked, clearly not expecting that. “mabel?”

you nodded, avoiding his gaze. “yeah, her.”

for a moment, he didn’t say anything, and you glanced at him out of the corner of your eye. his expression was unreadable, his brows slightly furrowed.

“no,” he said finally, his voice steady. “no, we weren’t like that.”

you nodded quickly, focusing on the faint ripples in the water. “right. yeah, i figured.”

felix’s lips parted, like he was about to say something more, but then he stopped, pressing them together again. you waited, heart pounding, hoping he might offer something else—anything to keep the conversation going—but he didn’t.

disappointment settled in your chest, quiet but undeniable. you weren’t even sure what you wanted him to say. maybe you just wanted to feel closer to him, to break through some invisible wall you weren’t even sure existed. but instead, the moment hung between you, unfinished and heavy.

felix shifted slightly beside you, rubbing the back of his neck. “it wasn’t like that with mabel,” he said, his tone softer now. “she was... i don’t know. it just wasn’t that kind of relationship.”

you nodded again, still not meeting his eyes. “yeah. makes sense.”

the conversation felt like it was slipping through your fingers, and you didn’t know how to pull it back. the silence stretched out again, the sound of the water and distant laughter filling the space between you.

“so...” he started, his voice teasing but laced with genuine interest. “would there be any particular reason you’re asking? like... i don’t know, maybe to say something about us?”

your heart stuttered, and you quickly dropped your gaze, staring hard at the ripples in the water. “what? no!” you said too quickly, the words tumbling out in a rush. “i mean... i was just curious, that’s all.”

felix raised an eyebrow, his grin widening just a little. “mhm,” he hummed, clearly unconvinced but not pushing too hard. “you sure?”

you sighed, your fingers twisting nervously in your lap. “okay, maybe,” you admitted, your voice quieter now. “a little. but it’s not—i’m not saying we should... or that i even know... i mean...” you groaned, covering your face with your hands. “this is coming out all wrong.”

felix’s laughter was soft and kind, and you felt the warm brush of his hand as he gently pulled your hands away from your face. his touch lingered, steady and reassuring, as his thumb lightly brushed your knuckles. “hey,” he said softly. “you don’t have to overthink it. i’m not upset or anything.”

you glanced up at him, your brows furrowing. “you’re not?”

“of course not,” felix said, his tone calm but firm, like the very idea was ridiculous. “why would i be? we’re talking, and that’s a good thing. besides...” he tilted his head slightly, giving you one of those small, crooked smiles that always made your chest feel too tight. “i get it.”

your gaze dropped to where his hand still held yours, the warmth of his palm grounding you. “i guess i was just worried you’d think i was being weird or something,” you murmured.

felix gave a soft laugh, squeezing your hand gently. “you could never be weird to me,” he said, his voice quiet but sure. “well, i mean, you are weird, but in a good way. the best way.”

a small smile tugged at your lips, the warmth in felix’s words sinking deep into your chest. without really thinking, you leaned into him, resting your head against his shoulder. felix didn’t hesitate—his arm slid around you, pulling you closer until you were tucked securely against his side. his hold was steady and protective, and you could feel his heartbeat, slow and even, beneath your cheek.

“felix?” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

“yeah?” he replied, his tone just as quiet, like he didn’t want to disturb the stillness of the moment.

“would you... be fine with it?” your words hung in the air, tentative but honest.

felix didn’t answer immediately. you felt him shift a little, his hand brushing lightly against your shoulder as he adjusted his grip. he let out a thoughtful hum, his head tilting just enough that you could feel the faint movement against your hair. “i feel like i would,” he said slowly, almost like he was testing the words out. then, more firmly, he added, “no. i definitely would.”

“i’ve definitely thought about it before,” you said quietly, the words slipping out before you could second-guess them.

felix tensed for a moment beside you, and you glanced up at him to find his wide-eyed expression. “you mean... the two of us? together like that?” his voice wavered slightly, the question almost disbelieving.

you chuckled softly, your cheeks warming as you looked away. “well, when you put it that way, it sounds a little embarrassing,” you murmured.

felix blinked a few times, like he was trying to process what you’d just said. his mouth opened, but no words came out. he seemed... speechless—something you rarely saw from him. his arm around you loosened for a second before tightening again, pulling you a little closer as if to steady himself. there was a warmth creeping up his neck, disappearing under the collar of his shirt, and his breathing had grown slightly uneven. the proximity, your words, the way you looked at him—it was all setting something off in him, something he hadn’t expected.

“i mean... we’re close, felix. and i trust you. it’s not like it’s some random thought that just popped into my head.” 

he swallowed hard, his adam’s apple bobbing, and he looked down at where your hands rested together. the air between you felt heavier now, charged with an unspoken tension that neither of you had anticipated. felix’s grip on your hand tightened slightly, but he said nothing, his lips pressing into a thin line as his gaze flickered briefly toward the water.

felix’s mind swirled, his thoughts taking a turn he wasn’t entirely prepared for. sitting so close to you, feeling the warmth of your body against his and the way your words hung in the air—it was overwhelming. he tried to focus on your hand in his, the soft hum of the water lapping against the dock, but his thoughts betrayed him, drifting into a space he kept carefully tucked away.

at night, in the privacy of his room, when the house was quiet and everyone else was fast asleep, felix sometimes let his mind wander in his thoughts. thoughts that left him restless, breathing hard in the stillness of his room, the sheets twisted around him as he surrendered to the way you made him feel. he remembered those nights too vividly—the way he’d close his eyes and picture your face, the sound of your voice, the warmth of your touch. and then, how his thoughts would drift lower, how they would spiral into something deeper, something he couldn’t resist. his head would tip back against the pillow, his breath coming in shallow bursts, his hand sliding lower, giving in to the need that only seemed to grow stronger every time he thought of you. 

you noticed the shift in his demeanor, the way his shoulders seemed a little stiffer, his grip on your hand a little tighter. “felix?” you asked softly, tilting your head to try and meet his gaze.

he cleared his throat, forcing himself to take a steadying breath. “yeah?” he replied, his voice quieter than usual, almost strained.

your eyes searched his face, sensing something beneath the surface but unsure of what it was. “you okay?”

he nodded quickly, offering a small, fleeting smile. “yeah. just... thinking.”

he wasn’t lying, but he wasn’t telling you everything either.

[pixiefelixie]

𓆝..°°𓈒 ⋆ (필릭스) : REMEMBER THIS SUMMER "TUESDAY"

𓆉 °°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ synopsis felix is living the summer every teenager dreams of, with a perfect beach house on the east coast of australia and an even more perfect girlfriend. by taking the best of both worlds, felix invites her to experience the world he grew up in to make this the best summer ever. amidst bonfires, romantic sunsets, and seagulls, felix has one goal this summer: to finally tell her he loves her. with just one week to do so, felix is met with a challenge to make his feelings known before time runs out. 

pairing: nonidol!felix x fem!reader, series warnings: felix + reader are intended to be 17-18, established relationship, fluff, underaged drinking at a party (again), very very suggestive (marking, tons of making out) under 16 dni, indirect mention of sex but nothing happens, sorry this chapter is so long 😭 important notes: The content of this work is purely fictional and is not intended to endorse or encourage any behavior, especially among minors, that may be deemed inappropriate or unsafe. This story is created solely for entertainment purposes and should be understood as fiction. Reader discretion is advised.

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chapter under the cut! ~13k words

day 3 - 10:30

from what you could remember from last night, surely felix couldn't have been that drunk. you had to have been blackout drunk to forget last night's events. however, felix did remember most of it. he remembered the way griff feinted a hit to scare you, his hands stopping just short of your face. and he even remembered the kiss you two had under the fireworks, which he described as "super hot". but somehow, he completely forgot about the most important thing—the thing that had left you staring at him, waiting for a response with a knot in your stomach.

"wait—so you don't have any memory of the promise?" you asked him, your voice strained with disbelief. you stared at him, expecting him to laugh or at least offer some kind of apologetic look. but instead, felix nonchalantly shook his head, as if the whole night was just another ordinary evening to him. he took a casual bite out of his blueberry bagel, letting crumbs tumble onto the plate below it.

"i mean, if you could give me some context, i might have a clue," he said, shrugging casually, completely unfazed.

you groaned, burying your face in your hands in frustration. of all the things you had hoped for today, this was the last thing you wanted to deal with. explaining last night to felix felt like stepping into a trap you had no idea how to escape. how could you even bring it up? what were you supposed to say? well, felix, you told me you loved me and kinda threw a marriage proposal at me! the thought made you want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

"well, you said some things last night," you began slowly, your voice quieter now, as you gathered the courage to push through. "and we agreed to talk about it today." you stared at him, trying to gauge his reaction, but his expression remained completely neutral, unbothered by the conversation you were trying to have.

"i really wish i knew what you were talking about so i could engage in this conversation with you, but unfortunately, i have zero idea!" felix exclaimed, throwing his hands up in defense as if he didn’t realize the gravity of the situation.

"so you wanna know what you said to me?" you queried.

felix shrugged and took another bite out of his bagel. "i mean now that i think about it. do i really wanna know?" he said, his voice muffled by food, making you want to scream.

you scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. this was ridiculous. how could he be so careless about something so important? "you're unbelievable," you muttered under your breath, loud enough for him to hear but quiet enough that it almost felt like you were talking to yourself.

but as you stared at him, something felt off. you weren’t stupid. there was something fishy about his reaction. his complete lack of curiosity about what he'd said or what had happened—maybe it wasn’t that he couldn’t remember. it was that he didn’t seem to care enough to find out. 

was he purposefully avoiding the topic? maybe he was too scared to confront what he’d said, or maybe it just didn’t matter enough to him.

you’d kept quiet, too, trying to protect yourself from the awkwardness that might follow. you hadn’t even mentioned what he’d said to you. you hadn’t shared how you felt when those words had left his lips, how they had shaken something deep inside you. so, maybe you weren’t exactly innocent in all this. you hadn’t opened up either.

your thoughts swirled, caught between feeling confused by felix’s reaction and frustrated by your own silence. neither of you had taken that first step toward addressing the elephant in the room. and in the stillness of the morning, you realized that maybe neither of you was ready to face it yet.

felix watched you carefully, his lips parting like he wanted to say something else, but he hesitated. then, as if deciding to let it slide, he quickly changed the subject. “by the way…” his tone shifted, lighter now, almost hesitant.

you glanced over your shoulder at him, your eyebrow arched. “yeah?”

a small smile tugged at his lips, his freckles catching the sunlight in a way that made him look softer. “thank you,” he said simply.

you blinked, confused. “for what?”

“for standing up for me last night. when griff was being… you know.” felix’s voice faltered slightly, but his eyes didn’t leave yours. he scratched the back of his neck, looking a little sheepish. “i don’t think i would’ve ever said anything myself,” he admitted with a small laugh. “it was lowkey badass.”

you chuckled softly, setting your mug down on the counter. “well, someone had to do it.”

“sorry, i wasn’t much help, though. i was so out of it,” he said, his tone apologetic.

you waved him off with a smile. “it’s fine. honestly, it was kind of fun.”

felix raised an eyebrow, leaning against the counter with a teasing smirk. “you like arguing with people, don’t you?”

you laughed, shaking your head. “well, no. not really. i don’t go looking for a fight or anything. ”

“oh, sure,” felix said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “you were just so reluctant to call griff out in front of everyone.”

you narrowed your eyes playfully, crossing your arms over your chest. “i had to. there’s a difference between picking a fight and needing to speak up. but i guess you’re right. it’s fun knowing that you get to put someone in their place, you know?”

felix nodded in agreement before his voice turned soft again. “i really am sorry, though,” he said quietly. “for being useless. you had to deal with griff and me at the same time… i should’ve been better.” 

you tilted your head, narrowing your eyes at him. “really sorry?”

“as sorry as i can get,” he confessed, his voice steady but quieter now like he meant every word.

“i think there’s a way to prove you’re not completely useless.”

felix blinked. “oh? and what’s that?”

you stepped closer, closing the gap between you with a sly smile. “i think a kiss would help show your worth, sunshine,” you said, your voice sweet.

felix’s eyes lit up, his mouth curving into a cute smile. “is that so?” he murmured, already leaning in.

“just to be thorough,” you added.

“with pleasure,” he whispered.

he didn’t need to be told twice. felix leaned in, his hand brushing your wrist before deciding to clasp your fingers in his, holding them lightly between you. his lips met yours in a kiss that started slow but quickly deepened, the kind of kiss that made your heart race and sent warmth spreading through your entire body.

his free hand found its way to the back of your neck, his touch featherlight as though he was afraid of overstepping. the world around you seemed to melt away. the soft scent of his cologne, the warmth of his lips, the way his thumb gently grazed your knuckles—it all made your stomach twist in the best way.

when he finally pulled back, his forehead rested lightly against yours, his breath coming in short, warm puffs against your skin. his dark eyes flickered to yours, and a grin tugged at his pink lips.

“thorough enough?” he asked his voice low.

you let out a soft laugh, still catching your breath. “yeah, very,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

his dark eyes searched yours, his smile softening as he took in your expression. then, without another word, he leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to your lips, leaving you dizzy and breathless all over again.

when he pulled back, his gaze flicked to your cheeks, now flushed a deep pink. his smile turned into a full-on grin, and a playful laugh escaped him. “you’re blushing,” he teased, his voice light and affectionate.

you felt your cheeks heat even more, and before you could come up with your usual retorts, felix cooed softly, his teasing tone making your embarrassment worse.

“aww, don’t hide it,” he said with a laugh, wrapping his arms around you in a warm, easy hug. you froze for a second before melting into him, your face buried against his shoulder as his scent wrapped around you.

“felix, shut up,” you muttered against his shirt, though there was no real bite in your words.

he chuckled again, resting his chin lightly on the top of your head. “what? it’s cute,” he said, his voice smug.

you sighed, your lips curving into a smile despite yourself. “you’re so annoying,” you mumbled, though you didn’t move to pull away.

“what happened to the tough girl from yesterday, mm?” he teased, his voice low. “the one who told off griff without even blinking? where’d she go?”

you pushed him away, narrowing your eyes, “she’s gonna kill you,” you said, looking up at him.

felix’s grin only grew as he looked down at you, his dark eyes sparkling with mischief. “you’re so scary,” he teased.

you rolled your eyes but didn’t miss a beat.

felix let out a sharp, dramatic hiss as your fingers pinched his arm hard enough to make him flinch. he gasped, biting his lip. “ah—okay, okay! i’m sorry.” 

day 3 - 19:00

by the time 7 pm rolled around, the sun was beginning its slow descent, casting warm hues over the water and sand. the day had been nothing short of productive. you first went paddle boarding at noon, the crystal-clear water below while you snapped countless photos with your camera. you could see schools of tiny fish darting under your board, their silvery scales flashing in the sunlight. 

fishing came next, and felix took it far more seriously than expected—at least until he caught one. his yell echoed across the water as he held up a ridiculously small fish, his grin so wide it was impossible not to laugh. that is until he leaned in and kissed the fish’s slimy mouth, making you gag.

afterward, tanning became the perfect way to wind down. you both stretched out on towels, as you took turns rubbing sunscreen on each other’s backs. the two of you chatted about everything and nothing, your voices mingling with the sound of seagulls squawking as if they wanted to join in on your conversation. at one point it turned into a gossip session, both of you spilling drama about high school back in sydney. felix whispering in your ear as if there were people around you and dropping the bomb of a certain teacher spending too much time with one of the students.

the tide crept closer by each hour, signaling that the day wasn’t quite over yet. there was still more to come. at around 21:30, the two of you had plans to attend a birthday party on a yacht—one of felix’s old friends was celebrating in typical over-the-top fashion, and you were both invited because their parents were connected to felix’s.

felix came from money. you’d always known that; it was evident in the way he carried himself, in the lovely beach house where you were staying, with its polished wood interiors and floor-to-ceiling windows that framed the ocean like a painting. but it wasn’t something you questioned. to you, felix was just felix—playful, sweet, and a little bit reckless, no matter how gilded the edges of his world seemed.

now, as the sun dipped lower, the promise of sunset hung in the air. it had become your quiet tradition, something neither of you ever put into words. sunset was your favorite time of day, and somehow, you both just knew that about each other.

felix had promised to take you to the cove to watch it, a little secluded spot just down the beach. the party would come later, with its loud music, glittering lights, and crowded yacht decks, but this? this was your moment, one that belonged only to the two of you.

the walk to the cove was anything but smooth. the path wound between jagged rocks, some of which jutted up like teeth, forcing you to climb over them while also struggling to stay upright. algae clung to the stones in slippery patches, squishing under your sandals.

“this is a bit more intense than i expected,” you muttered, glancing at felix, who was a few steps ahead.

“the best spots take a little work to get to. you’ll see.”

then, just as you stepped onto a flat stretch of rock, something slender shifted near your feet. you froze, your breath catching in your throat as your eyes darted down.

a snake. a long, thick snake slithered across the rock, its scales catching the last glimmers of sunlight.

“what the heck!” you yelped, stumbling back a step as your heart raced.

without thinking, you bolted toward him, grabbing his bicep with both hands and leaning into him as if he were a shield against the creature.

he immediately turned, concern flashing across his face. “what? did you hurt yourself?”

“just a snake,” you managed to get out, your voice shaky but with relief now that you were away from it.

felix blinked, his lips parting in surprise. “was it big?”

“massive,” you said, still holding onto him. “i’ve been bit before as a kid, so forgive me if i don’t want to relive that.”

“wait—you’ve actually been bitten by a snake?”

you nodded, your voice steady but a little distant as the memory resurfaced. “yeah. my family was on vacation in hawaii and i accidentally stepped on one when i was a kid. it bit my leg, and it was venomous. just a bit though.”

his brows shot up. “what happened?”

“our tour guide had anti-venom and they rushed me to the hospital,” you said, glancing at him. “i remember the panic more than the actual pain. everyone around me was freaking out, but i was just sitting there, i couldn’t even bring myself to cry.”

felix tilted his head, studying you with a mix of disbelief and concern. “you didn’t feel it?”

“i mean i just remember sweating a ton and feeling really sick,” you admitted. “probably because i was in such shock. but once i was in the er and the doctors were talking about how lucky we were to get there so fast, it all started to sink in.”

his expression softened, a trace of a smile on his lips. “and here you are, like a champ.” felix laughed, a warm, comforting sound that echoed off the surrounding rocks. “but seriously, that sounds terrifying. glad you made it out okay.”

you shrugged lightly, letting go of his arm and giving him a small smile. “it’s not exactly a fond memory, but it’s a good story to tell. just… let’s avoid making it a sequel, alright?”

felix chuckled softly, “as long as neither of us steps on one, i think we’re good.” his hand slid from your grip and he pulled you closer, his arm wrapping around your shoulders.

up ahead, tall shrubs swayed lightly in the breeze, and through the gaps in their leaves, you caught the faint shimmer of water.

“is it… here?” you asked, tilting your head toward him.

felix’s lips curled into a soft smile. “you got it,” 

he clasped your hand and guided you forward, pushing the plants gently aside with his free hand. the greenery gave way to an opening, and as you stepped through, the sight in front of you took your breath away.

the cove was stunning. turquoise water lapped gently at the sandy shore, its surface glinting under the fading sunlight. smooth rocks framed the secluded spot, their edges catching the golden hues of the approaching sunset. above you, an arc of smooth rock curved, like the natural ceiling of a cave. the whole scene felt untouched, utterly serene as if no one else in the world knew it existed.

felix let go of your hand briefly to take a step ahead, turning to watch your reaction. “what do you think?” he asked, his voice softer now, almost shy.

you looked at him, your mouth slightly open as you tried to find the right words. “it’s… beautiful,” you finally said, your gaze shifting back to the water. “it’s like it’s out of a dream. how does something like this even exist?” you said, reaching out for his hand again, squeezing his fingers gently. 

felix followed your gaze and grinned, giving your hand a gentle tug. “this way,”

he led you toward a quiet spot on the sand, where the gentle waves crept up slowly, leaving faint trails of foam before retreating. the ground was warm beneath you as you both settled down, the sound of the ocean filling the silence between you.

in front of you, an opening in the rock framed the horizon perfectly, like a natural window to the sunset. the fiery oranges and soft pinks melted into purples, casting shimmering reflections on the turquoise water.

felix lowered himself onto the sand, stretching his legs out in front of him and patting the spot between them. “come here,” he said softly.

you didn’t hesitate, a soft smile tugging at your lips as you stepped closer. his hand pulled yours, his touch steady as he guided you down in front of him.

“how did you even find this place?” you asked, your voice quiet as your eyes wandered over the cove. you shifted to get comfortable before finally resting your head on his lap. 

felix leaned forward slightly, his arm curling around you to pull you closer. his free hand drifted to your hair, his fingers threading through it in slow, soothing strokes. “chris and i were out looking for good spots to surf,” he said quietly while reminiscing.

“surfing? here?” you turned your neck to glance up at him.

“yeah, i know. doesn’t seem like the best place, right? too calm.” he chuckled, the sound low and warm. “we never did end up surfing here. but i got curious when i saw this little path through the trees, and… well, i found this.”

you looked back at the cove, the secluded beauty of it almost overwhelming. “and you kept it to yourself?”

he shrugged, his hand never leaving your hair. “yeah, i never told chris at all. later that day i came again alone.” felix lowered his head closer to yours, his voice softer now. “i never brought anyone here before. i wanted it to be a spot i could go to whenever.”

as you nestled against him, you let out a soft breath. “okay,” you said. “so, why bring me here?”

he knew why. he’d known for weeks, maybe longer. because i love you, he thought. the words hovered on the tip of his tongue, so close he could almost hear himself saying them.

the cove, the sunset, the two of you sitting this close—it would’ve been perfect to tell you now.

but his chest tightened, and the words wouldn’t come. 

“am i that special?” you asked suddenly, saving him from his spiraling thoughts.

a soft laugh escaped him, and he tilted his head, looking at you with pure affection. his hand slipped down to your cheek, brushing a thumb along your jaw. “you have no idea,” he whispered.

your smile softened at his words and suddenly, the teasing felix you knew was gone. he looked at you in a way you hadn’t seen before, something that made your heart flutter. was it love?

“you’re so pretty,” he said, his voice low, like the words slipped out without him even meaning to.

the air seemed to shift between you. he had never said anything like that before—not in that way, not with that much weight behind it. for a moment, you couldn’t speak, couldn’t even think of what to say.

you sat up slowly, turning toward him, and leaned in just a little. you glanced at his lips, then back to his eyes, searching for something you couldn’t quite name. and then you closed the distance, pressing your lips to his in a long, still kiss.

it was so soft. his lips were warm and gentle against yours, and for a moment, the world felt like it had stopped spinning entirely. when you finally pulled back, your heart was racing, and his gaze hadn’t wavered from you.

“can we…” you began, the flush of color still tinting your cheeks. “can we do what we did yesterday?”

felix blinked, pretending as though he didn’t understand. “what do you mean?” he asked, his tone almost innocent, but the corner of his mouth twitched.

“you know,” you said, swatting his arm lightly, your grin growing.

he chuckled, low and warm, and before you could say more, he leaned in and kissed you again.

his lips moved against yours as if he were savoring the kiss, letting himself sink into it. his grip on your hand tightened, grounding both of you and his other hand slid up to the side of your neck, his fingers grazing your skin as he tilted his head slightly.

you couldn’t resist any longer. with a soft, breathless sigh, you parted your lips, meeting his tongue with your own, guiding the kiss deeper. the heat between you both intensified and as your tongues danced together, you slowly moved the hand he was holding, shifting it from your grasp to your waist.

felix hesitated for a moment, but then he let go of your hand and placed it firmly on your body. you wrapped both of your hands around his neck, pulling him closer, pressing your body against his as you kissed him deeper.

but after a few moments, you pulled away slightly, breathless, a smile tugging at your lips. “so much for being responsible,” you teased, your voice light as you brushed your hand down his chest.

felix immediately frowned, his eyes darkening, “stop talking.” without hesitation, he chased after your lips, catching them in another desperate kiss. you smiled into it, the heat between you both intensifying. his lips moved urgently against yours, and as you tried to pull away again, he followed you, not giving you a chance to break this. his hands were now on your waist, pulling you even closer as if he couldn’t bear the distance between you.

your hands instinctively moved up to his hair, grabbing a fistful of it. his tongue slid into your mouth, exploring, and tasting, and you responded equally. this cove was magical. it made you feel like it was just the two of you in this world.

finally, after a long moment, you both pulled away, lips swollen and red. you caught your breath, smiling softly. “we’re gonna miss the sunset,” you said, your voice teasing. “that’s what we’re here for, right?”

felix pouted, his hands still on you, it was clear he wasn’t thinking about the sunset. “sure, sure,” he replied distractedly, his eyes still on your lips. “can we stay like this?” he asked, his voice almost shy, his arms wrapping around you tighter.

you leaned in and kissed his cheek softly, your heart racing as you nuzzled into him, settling between his legs. his warmth surrounded you, and for a moment, everything felt right. but felix, despite this, seemed far away in his own thoughts. you could feel him shift slightly beneath you, his breath a little more uneven, as if something was weighing on him.

inside, felix’s mind was a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. his heart raced in a mix of emotions, but the one who showed its face the most was a deep, nagging guilt. he couldn’t ignore the feeling that he hadn’t said those three words.

he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be moving this fast, feeling this much, especially without telling you how deeply he felt. part of him wanted to just let go, and embrace the closeness and intimacy without worrying about the timing.

another part of him felt guilty, like he was rushing things before he was ready to say what truly mattered. 

then, your voice broke through. it was so soft, so gentle, the kind of voice that made him feel like everything in the world could pause for a moment—like he could breathe for the first time in forever. “are you okay, lixie?” 

his throat tightened as he met your gaze, his heart pounding in his chest. he wasn’t sure how to respond to the sudden rush of emotions, but your simple care for him, your concern, made him feel like he didn’t deserve it. he wasn’t sure if he could ever truly put into words what he was feeling, but you were making him want to try.

“yeah, why wouldn’t i be?” felix finally said, his voice unsteady. then, in an almost whispered tone, he said, “quick, look at the sun, it’s setting.”

you turned your head, following his gaze. the sky stretched out in front of you, the colors shifting as the sun dipped lower, casting a breathtaking, fiery orange glow across the horizon. the waves shimmered beneath the light, reflecting the warm hues, as if the whole world had paused to take in the beauty of this moment.

you sat there for a moment, completely in awe of the breathtaking sunset before you. it was impossible not to be captivated by it, and in that instant, you reached for your camera, wanting to capture its beauty. you snapped a picture, the vibrant colors of the sunset perfectly framed in the shot.

the picture was beautiful—perfectly still, a moment in time frozen forever. as your gaze shifted to him, you caught his soft smile, his eyes reflecting the glow of the fading sun. it made your heart skip, and for a second, everything else seemed so distant.

felix took your hand, his fingers brushing against yours gently, and kissed your hand softly, the warmth of his lips sending a shiver up your arm. you brought your camera up again, capturing the moment and when you looked at the photo, you couldn’t help but smile. your boyfriend was so incredibly handsome. the orange light cast across felix’s face, making his features even more striking, his eyes looking up at your camera as his lips lingered on your hand. his gaze was both loving and full of warmth.

you leaned back against felix’s abdomen, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing beneath you. his arm moved, wrapping gently around you as he grabbed your hand, his thumb beginning to trace soft, slow circles on the back of it. the gesture was calming, soothing even, as the warmth of his touch seeped into your skin. the two of you sat in silence, the sound of the waves lapping against the shore blending with the serene hues of the sunset.

as your gaze remained fixed on the horizon, your thoughts drifted. being back in sydney, you hadn’t expected a trip like this to bring you and felix so close in such a short time. three days now. that was all it had taken for him to feel like home—like someone you could lean on, quite literally.

you smiled softly to yourself, thinking about how much he had changed in your eyes. not that felix hadn’t always been attractive—he was, undeniably—but there was something different now. the way he looked at you, the way he spoke to you, even the way he touched you—it all felt deepened in ways you couldn’t explain.

your old self, the one who had just started dating him, would never have guessed this moment would come so soon. if she could see you now, sitting between his legs, leaning back against him with his hand in yours, watching the sunset in the most breathtaking place, she would have been surprised. you weren’t sure what would shock her more—that you’d let yourself be this vulnerable with him, or that you’d never felt more at home than you did right now.

a question pressed itself into your mind. do you love him?

it was such a big word—love. it carried weight and meaning you weren’t sure you fully understood yet. you were young, after all. could you really know what it meant? but as you sat there, feeling felix’s steady warmth against your back, his fingers brushing slow circles over your hand, you couldn’t help but think that this was what love must feel like.

felix’s thumb paused for a moment on the back of your hand, and then he shifted, wrapping his arm more firmly around you. it was such a small thing, but it made your breath hitch. if this wasn’t love, it was close enough to leave you wondering if it could ever be anything else. 

the sun slowly dipped lower and lower until the last sliver of light disappeared beneath the horizon. the sky deepened into a rich navy, streaked with the faintest traces of orange and pink clinging to the edges.

felix let out a soft breath and shifted behind you, his voice breaking the stillness. “well, that’s that,” he said quietly.

you tilted your head slightly, looking up at him. “can we come back someday?” you asked with a hopeful voice.

for a moment, felix just looked at you, his gaze lingering on your face. something in his expression softened, his lips curving into that smile that always made your heart flutter. he leaned down and kissed you, the warmth of his lips against yours, answering the question. when he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours. “of course.”

day 3 - 21:45

the moment you stepped into the interior of the yacht, it felt like a whole new world. the bass from the heavy music reverberated through the walls, the beat syncing with the pulse of strobing neon lights that bathed the space. the air was filled with laughter, shouts over the music, and the clink of glasses.

felix’s hand stayed firmly on your lower back as you both weaved through the crowd. the room was packed, bodies moving to the beat in a rhythmic blur. you caught flashes of shiny dresses and sharp suits as the lights danced across the room, amplifying the wildness of it all.

“felix!”

the booming voice cut through the music just as the host appeared, his figure swaying slightly.

he was Korean, his dark hair tousled as though he’d run his fingers through it a hundred times that night. the stark contrast between his hair and felix’s blonde locks was striking. teenage boys rarely dyed their black hair, but felix’s golden strands were such a fixture of his personality by now that they felt like a part of him—he was practically a natural blonde.

the host flashed a wide smile that revealed perfect teeth and lit up his handsome face. his shirt, unbuttoned far enough to reveal a gold chain. a glass of amber liquid sloshed precariously in his hand, droplets threatening to escape with every exaggerated gesture he made.

“you made it!” the host said, pulling felix into a lopsided hug. his cologne was strong, an earthy mix of spice and wood that lingered in the close quarters. 

felix grinned, stepping forward to meet him. “jake!” he called back, raising his voice to be heard over the relentless bass thumping through the yacht. “happy birthday!”

jake beamed, his drink sloshing dangerously close to spilling as he clapped Felix on the back with more enthusiasm than coordination. “thank you!” he exclaimed, pulling back. “welcome aboard!”

“this is my girlfriend,” felix gestured toward you, his smile growing wider. “she’s visiting the beach from sydney.”

jake’s glassy eyes lit up with excitement as he turned his attention fully to you. “girlfriend? well, aren’t you just full of surprises, felix,” he teased before leaning toward you with his arms wide open. “nice to meet you! i'm jake. jake sim. sim jake. whatever works.”

caught off guard, you laughed but leaned in anyway. jake enveloped you in a hug, swaying just enough to make you wonder if his balance was going to hold out. “nice to meet you too,” you managed, pulling back with a polite smile.

jake gave you a once-over, waving his drink in felix’s direction with a playful smirk. “she’s stunning, felix,” he declared, then turned to you with a wink. “good on you for putting up with him.”

you grinned, deciding to play along. “oh, you have no idea,” you replied, shooting felix a look. “he’s a full-time job, honestly. i deserve an award.”

felix gasped, his hand flying to his chest as if you’d mortally wounded him. “wow,” he said, shaking his head. “i see how it is.”

jake threw his head back in laughter, nearly spilling his drink again. “i like her!” he declared, pointing at you with his free hand. “she’s got spirit. you’d better hold on to this one, felix.”

felix squinted at you, trying to look stern, but the smile tugging at his lips gave him away. “oh, i’m well aware,” he said.

jake clapped felix on the shoulder again, already turning toward the crowd. “alright, lovebirds,” jake said, already turning toward the crowd. “come grab a drink with me and the others.”

felix slid his hand down to yours, guiding you as the three of you wove through the pulsing crowd toward the bar area. the energy of the room only intensified, the music pounding in sync with the flashing lights.

as felix guided you both through the crowd, a sudden bump jolted you out of your focus. you turned to see a girl with sleek, jet-black hair and a dazzling blue dress staring back at you, her expression apologetic.

“oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” she said, her voice soft but clear as she lightly touched your arm.

you smiled, shaking your head. “no, you’re fine, really.”

then her eyes widened slightly as she glanced past you. “lee felix?” she asked, her voice brightening with surprise.

felix’s head tilted, and his lips parted in realization. “jenny?” he asked, his voice rising.

jenny broke into a broad grin and threw her arms around him in a hug that suggested they were old friends. when she pulled back, her gaze shifted to you, and her smile turned curious. “is this your girlfriend?”

felix gave a proud nod, smiling. “yeah, she is.”

jenny’s expression softened into something warm and welcoming. “oh my goodness, it’s so nice to meet you!” she exclaimed, extending her hand. “i’m jenny—jake’s twin.”

your eyebrows shot up. “oh! happy birthday!” you said, shaking her hand.

jenny laughed, clearly delighted. “thanks for coming! it’s not every day felix shows up to one of these.”

felix rolled his eyes. “don’t act like i'm some hermit that doesn't leave his cave.”

jenny gave him a teasing grin. “well, you don’t, at least not without chris.” you swear you saw felix’s mouth twitch at that comment. she turned back to you, leaning in slightly. “you look amazing, by the way.”

your cheeks warmed under her compliment. “thank you. you look incredible too.”

“why don’t you come join me and the girls for a bit?” she turned to felix with a grin. “i hope you don’t mind if i steal her for a while.”

felix raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. “i don’t know, jenny…”

jenny rolled her eyes, swatting his arm lightly. “ugh, shut up. you’ll be fine without her for a moment.”

you glanced at felix, giving him a gentle squeeze on his arm. “i’ll be back,” you said.

he sighed dramatically, though the smile on his face was impossible to miss. "fine. but I’ll be timing you.” he joked.

jenny reached for your hand, tugging you gently. “come on!” she urged, her excitement contagious.

without a second glance at felix, you let her lead you through the thrumming crowd. “this place is amazing,” you said as you followed jenny through the packed yacht, the thrum of the music vibrating through the walls.

jenny glanced back at you with a bright smile. “thank you! my parents bought it, like, fifteen years ago. i basically grew up around it. every birthday since i turned sixteen has been on this boat.” she laughed, stepping lightly to avoid a tipsy couple dancing too enthusiastically. “it’s kind of like home.”

“that’s incredible,” you said, genuinely impressed.

jenny led you into a quieter room off to the side. the lights were dimmer here, but the ambiance was still lively. a sleek bar ran along one wall, staffed by a bartender expertly shaking up cocktails, while plush couches lined the room. a group of girls was sprawled on one of the larger couches, their laughter spilling over as they chatted loudly, drinks in hand.

one of them noticed jenny first and called out with an exaggerated wave. “jenny! finally! where have you been?”

jenny grinned, tugging you closer. “i’m here now! everyone, this is felix’s girlfriend,” she announced with a casual flourish, glancing at you.

the girls turned their attention to you, their eyes alight with curiosity. “oh my god, you’re gorgeous,” one of them slurred, leaning forward with a dazed but kind expression.

“stop, you’re going to scare her.” jenny teased, rolling her eyes and turned to you. “they've started drinking too much already. come, sit.”

jenny motioned to the couch beside her, and you took a seat next to her while she grabbed her old drink off of the table. one of the girls, a brunette with a wide smile, leaned forward. “what’s your name?” she asked, her voice warm and curious. you introduced yourself, saying your name and her smile widened. “that’s so pretty,” she said, leaning back in her seat.

another girl, her lipstick slightly smudged and her drink held precariously in one hand, leaned forward, squinting at you through the dim light. “i’ve never seen you before,” she said, her words slightly slurred but still curious. “are you visiting for the summer?”

you smiled, adjusting the hem of your sundress. “yeah, i’m here with my boyfriend. i’m staying at his beach house for a bit.”

a couple of the girls perked up, their interest piqued. “who’s your boyfriend?” another one asked, her voice sharp with intrigue.

before you could answer, jenny leaned back with a smirk, swirling her drink dramatically. “lee felix,” she said, her tone casual but clearly enjoying the reaction she was about to provoke.

the room went still for a moment as the name sank in. then, almost in unison, the girls reacted.

“no way,” one of them exclaimed, her jaw practically dropping. another sat forward, her drink forgotten. “felix? you’re joking.” you blinked, caught off guard by their sudden intensity. 

one of the girls sighed dramatically, leaning back on the couch as she gestured toward you. “ugh, you’re so lucky,” she said, her tone teetering between admiration and envy. “felix is like, the unattainable guy everyone secretly—or not so secretly—has a crush on.”

the girl who had choked earlier nodded fervently. “but honestly, looking at you, i’m not even surprised. you’re stunning. you probably swept him right off his feet.”

you felt your cheeks heat up at her words. “thank you,” you said softly, smiling at them. “that’s really sweet of you.”

one of the other girls leaned in, curiosity lighting up her face. “he’s from sydney, right? are you from sydney too?”

you nodded. “yeah, we go to school together,” you explained.

“that’s so cute! i’m not even surprised he has a girlfriend now. it was about time he stopped walking around looking gorgeous and actually did something about it.”

another girl chimed in, sipping her drink before adding, “i swear, he gets hotter every year. especially that one summer when he came back blonde.”

jenny leaned back with a knowing smirk, pointing her glass toward the girl. “that’s because you’re crazy about blondes, emma.”

emma whipped her head around, glaring at jenny. “shut up.”

jenny raised her eyebrows. “then why’d you hook up with griff sanders and his brother?”

emma’s eyes widened in outrage, clutching her glass as if to throw it. “jenny!”

jenny let out a high-pitched squeal, ducking behind one of the other girls for cover. “i’m just saying!” she shouted, laughing uncontrollably.

emma burst out laughing too, shaking her head as she put her glass back down. “you’re the worst,” she said, her voice laced with amusement.

you couldn’t help but chuckle along with them, though the mention of griff made you feel a bit uneasy after last night. you tried to push the thought away, not wanting to let it show, but it lingered in the back of your mind.

just as the conversation shifted, another girl, who had been quiet up until now, leaned forward with a mischievous grin. “i don’t know guys,” she said, twirling her drink in her hand. “i’ve always been a chris girl.”

the group gasped in unison, then erupted into teasing laughter. “you creep,” jenny said, nudging her playfully. “he’s in college!”

the girl shrugged nonchalantly, her smile never faltering. “and?” she said, raising an eyebrow. “doesn’t mean i can’t appreciate the view.”

jenny snorted, and the others continued to laugh, but then one of the girls leaned toward you, eyes lighting up with curiosity. “you’re probably really close with him, right? i mean, you’re with felix, so you must know him.”

you paused, feeling a little out of place. “actually,” you began, shaking your head with a small smile, “i’ve never met him. but felix goes on about him all the time.” you chuckled lightly.

the girl suddenly leaned forward, her voice dropping to a dramatic whisper. “he’s just so big it feels like he could just—”

before she could finish, one of the other girls slapped her arm, cutting her off. “stop talking!” she laughed, her voice full of exasperation.

the whole group burst into laughter, and you couldn’t help but join in. the ridiculousness of it all, combined with the fact that you barely knew most of these people.

just then, a man appeared beside you, catching your attention. he was holding a small tray with a cocktail glass on it. you turned to face him, and he smiled politely. “a cocktail, my dear?” he asked smoothly.

you shook your head, smiling. “no, thank you.”

before you could even say more, jenny was reaching for the drink, practically snatching it. “thank you, mr. arthur!” she said cheerfully, her tone more playful than sincere.

the man nodded with a smile and walked off, leaving jenny to pass the cocktail to you. you hesitated for a moment, holding up your hand to politely refuse. “i really don’t drink, jenny,” you said, giving her a gentle smile.

jenny raised an eyebrow, unfazed. “oh, come on, just one drink. it’s not like you’re going to get hammered, we’re just having fun,” she teased, her voice laced with persistence.

you shook your head, still trying to resist. “i’m good, seriously.”

but she wasn’t giving up. she leaned in closer, her voice dropping into a more convincing tone. “look, you’re not going to regret it. just for tonight, please?”

you glanced around at the laughing group of girls, all of them looking at you with wide, eager eyes, and felt a slight pressure to join in. “just for tonight,” you muttered, taking the drink from her hand.

day 3 - 22:30

an hour ago, you'd promised yourself it would just be one drink. just one. you weren’t going to get hammered, not here, not now, not ever. 

but clearly, you hadn’t listened.

the room wasn’t spinning anymore; it was tilting, lurching like the yacht had been caught in a storm even though it was only floating along a miniscule coast of australia. your head throbbed in time with the bass-heavy music pounding through the speakers, and your throat burned faintly from whatever concoction you’d downed last. it had started innocently enough. jenny had shoved a fruity, neon-colored drink into your hands, her smile too bright and her insistence too sharp to refuse. one sip had turned into three gulps, and before you could process it, the glass was empty, replaced with another as if by magic.

or rather, by mr. arthur—the server who seemed to materialize at the best possible moments, tray balanced with another round of deceptively sweet cocktails. and each time, despite your better judgment, you’d reach for another. 

the room spun, like a carousel at twice its speed, and the flashing lights only added to the haze enveloping you. everything felt a little too loud—the music pounding like a second heartbeat, the girls’ voices blending together in a swirl of laughter and words you couldn’t quite piece together.

you’d lost track of felix somewhere in the haze. the last memory you had of him was faint—him grinning, his hand brushing yours before disappearing into the crowd with jake. that could’ve been ten minutes ago or an hour. time had dissolved into a mess of strobe lights, slurred voices, and the sharp tang of too many drinks.

“why are you just staring at nothing?” jenny slurred, her elbow jabbing into your side. you clutched your drink tighter, spilling a few drops onto your fingers as you turned to her. her mascara was smudged, her hair sticking out at odd angles, but she didn’t seem to care—or notice. “are you okay? or, like… dead?”

you giggled, though it sounded more like a hiccup, shaking your head a little too forcefully. the motion made the room tilt again, and you pressed a hand to your forehead. “not dead,” you mumbled, words dragging like wet paint. “just… thinking about felix. where is he?”

jenny squinted at you, then at the room around her, her gaze as unfocused as your own. “he probably, like… fell off the boat or something,” she said with a snort, her laugh dissolving. she waved her hand vaguely toward the crowd. “or he’s with jake. they definitely fell off together.”

you groaned, slumping deeper into the couch, which felt like it was swallowing you whole. “i should find him,” you said, though the words came out more like a mumble. “i should… i don’t know… make sure he’s okay.”

jenny laughed, leaning so far back she nearly slid off the arm of the couch. “you can’t even stand, babe. what are you gonna do, crawl around yelling his name?”

her teasing earned a weak glare from you, but the grin tugging at your lips ruined the effect. “i’m fine,” you argued, though you didn’t believe it. your legs felt like jelly, your head like a balloon barely tethered to your body.

jenny opened her mouth to retort, but her attention suddenly flickered over your shoulder, her expression shifting. she nudged one of the other girls, and soon all of them were staring behind you, their giggles quieting as they stared at something—or someone—behind you. 

“what?” you asked, your voice thick and slow. you turned to look, blinking through the dizziness, you finally spotted them: felix and jake, stumbling toward the couch like a pair of toddlers who’d had too much sugar.

felix’s cheeks were flushed a deep shade of crimson, his shirt almost halfway unbuttoned, exposing his collarbone. his blond hair stuck up in wild tufts and jake was equally disheveled, his arm slung around felix’s neck as he laughed so hard he nearly doubled over. whatever joke he was telling clearly wasn’t meant for anyone else—it was lost in the garbled mess of words and wheezing breaths.

“felix?” you murmured, your voice breaking as you pushed yourself upright—or at least tried to. the room pitched sideways, and your body refused to cooperate, leaving you half-sprawled against the cushions. felix’s gaze met yours, his lopsided grin widening as he stumbled closer, jake still clinging to him for balance.

before you could get an answer, the boys collapsed onto the couch like puppets with cut strings, their combined weight squishing you deep into the cushions. felix practically melted onto you, his entire body slack as his head lolled against your shoulder. jake sprawled sideways, his legs slumping on jenny’s as he flopped into her lap like an oversized golden retriever.

jenny shrieked, her voice cutting through the music like a foghorn. “ew! get off me!” she shoved at her brother with all the force her petite figure could muster, her hands smacking into his chest. “you’re disgusting!”

jake only laughed in response, his head tipping back as he made himself even heavier, fully collapsing into her lap. “oh, come on, jen,” he slurred, his grin stretching wide. “i’m your favorite brother, you love me!”

“like hell i do!” jenny screeched, red-faced and furious. she shoved again, this time with both hands. with a yelp that sounded more like a laugh, jake toppled off the couch entirely, landing on the floor with a loud thud.

meanwhile, felix was burrowed deeper into you, his giggles vibrating against your shoulder. his breath, warm and tinged with whiskey, tickled your neck as he whispered, “hi,” his voice soft and slurred, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear.

you turned your head slightly, trying to suppress the grin spreading across your face. “hi, felix,” you replied, your voice teetering on the edge of laughter.

and then, without warning, felix’s expression shifted like he’d just witnessed a ghost. his lopsided grin disappeared, replaced by a look of wide-eyed, exaggerated shock. he jerked back slightly, squinting at you as if you’d suddenly grown a second head. “do my eyes deceive me?” he asked, his tone dripping with dramatic flair.

you frowned, confused. “huh?”

“you’re drunk!” he declared, pointing at you with the wobbliness of someone who had clearly lost a fight with gravity. he leaned in closer, his face mere inches from yours. “i can’t believe it!”

you frowned, furrowing your eyebrows as if the very suggestion was an insult. “i’m not that drunk,” you insisted, your voice defensive and a little too loud, though the way you swayed slightly in your seat betrayed you. you raised your thumb and forefinger, holding them close together with exaggerated precision. “maybe a little.”

felix gasped as you’d just admitted to committing a heinous crime. his hands found your face, cupping your cheeks with gentleness despite his shaky coordination. his thumbs brushed over your skin as he stared at you with narrowed eyes, his nose nearly touching yours. “what… have they done to you?” he whispered.

you squinted at him, the corners of your mouth twitching despite your best efforts to stay indignant. “says you,” you shot back. you poked his chest, or at least aimed for it, your finger landing somewhere near his jaw. “you’re the one who’s, like… like…” you waved your hand vaguely, searching for the right word. “practically swimming in drunk.”

felix’s jaw dropped in offense, and he clutched his chest like you’d struck him. “me?” he slurred, his voice pitching up like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “how dare you? i am as sober as a… as a… um…” he paused, his eyes narrowing in concentration.

you rolled your eyes, biting back a laugh. “a nun?” you offered, smirking.

“yes!” he exclaimed, pointing a shaky finger in triumph. “i am as sober as a nun on… on a sunday!” he blinked, his grin faltering for a moment. “wait. do nuns drink on sundays? like… wine and stuff? he persisted. “i don't think nuns even drink real wine. what if it’s… holy fuck, what was the question again?” felix raised his hand to pinch his nose bridge, in deep thought. “like, they pretend it’s wine, but it’s actually like…like”

you sighed loudly, dragging your hands down your face. “felix, shut up.”

just then, as if saved by the bell, mr. arthur appeared, looking as polished and composed as ever, his crisp white shirt spotless despite wading through a sea of people. in sharp contrast to the fluorescent cocktails he’d been serving earlier, this time his tray was lined with plastic bottles of water, gleaming under the strobe lights like they were filled with liquid salvation.

“water?” he asked, his voice calm and knowing, as if he’d seen this exact scenario play out a thousand times before.

you reached for a bottle, the cool plastic smooth against your fingers. “thanks, mr. arthur. you’re such a gem,” you said, throwing in a cheeky wink for good measure.

mr. arthur gave you a polite, professional smile—the kind of smile that servers master when they’ve decided you’re absolutely wasted—then turned on his heel and disappeared back into the crowd.

as soon as he was gone, felix was staring at you, slack-jawed, like you’d just declared your intent to marry the guy. “what the hell was that?” he demanded, voice thick with incredulity.

you blinked at him innocently. “what was what?”

“that!” he waved a hand in the general direction of where mr. arthur had been standing moments ago. “the whole flirty wink thing. seriously? who does that?”

rolling your eyes, you cracked open the water bottle. “he’s just looking out for me. what’s wrong with being polite?”

felix leaned closer, pointing at the bottle like it was exhibit a. “polite? that wasn’t polite. that was—you know what? i can’t even find the right word for it. extra. yeah, that’s what it was. extra.” he pointed accusingly at the water bottle like it held undeniable proof of your crimes. “what next? gonna slip him your number in morse code using bottle caps?”

before he could launch into another drunken rant, you had enough. without a word, you tilted the bottle and shoved it toward his face, pressing it against his lips until he had no choice but to take a gulp. water spilled over his chin as he glared at you.

when you pulled the bottle back, he coughed lightly, the back of his hand dragging across his chin as he stared at you. but something about his eyes made your stomach turn.

“that’ll shut you up,” you said, trying to sound smug, but your voice came out a little too quick, a little too breathless.

felix didn’t move. he just kept staring at you, the smirk on his face lazy and infuriatingly attractive, like he knew exactly what he was doing. he tilted his head slightly, eyes trailing over you in a way that made heat crawl up your neck.

“careful,” he murmured, voice low and teasing. “you keep bossing me around like that, and i might actually start listening to you.”

you pointed at him, narrowing your eyes to hide the way your pulse had kicked into overdrive. “don’t start.”

“what?” he grinned wider, all dimples and trouble. “i’m just saying, you’re kinda scary when you’re mad. but, like, in a cute way.”

“just drink the water and stop being weird.” you snapped, more flustered than you wanted to admit.

felix leaned back, finally breaking eye contact as he unscrewed the cap from his bottle, but not before giving you one last smirk. “fine. but for the record, i’m not worried. you’re not into guys with mustaches. but i still don’t get the wink.”

“oh my god,” you groaned. “it wasn’t a wink, it was gratitude,” you grumbled.

“sure, sure. gratitude with a side of ‘call me.’”

“felix.”

“okay, okay! hydrating now. see? i’m such a good boy.” he took a slow sip of water, deliberately dragging it out, and right before tilting the bottle back for another gulp, he winked at you—cheeky and entirely infuriating.

“please never say ‘good boy’ again,” you deadpanned.

the smirk lingered on felix’s lips as he tilted his head back, downing more water like he was trying to prove a point. but then he paused, lowering the bottle slowly. his eyes darted around the room, a flicker of focus cutting through his usual chaotic energy. the others were too distracted—jenny was still half-heartedly shoving jake off her lap while the other girls were either whispering in small groups or half-asleep, heads drooping like wilting flowers.

felix’s gaze returned to you, softer now, more intent. the teasing grin faded, replaced by something quieter, something that sent a ripple of heat through your already alcohol-fueled haze. he shifted closer, his knee brushing yours, and the movement was deliberate enough that you noticed.

your heart thudded against your ribs as he leaned in, his eyes fixed on yours, and for a moment, the pounding music and chatter around you seemed to fade into nothing. his gaze dropped to your lips, lingering there for what felt like an eternity.

“felix…” you murmured, unsure if it was meant to be a question, a warning, or something else entirely.

he didn’t answer. instead, he closed the distance between you, his lips brushing against yours with a gentleness that caught you off guard. the kiss deepened slowly, unhurried but purposeful, his mouth warm and tasting faintly of whiskey and something sweet. the world spun, but this time, it wasn’t the alcohol—it was him.

your breath hitched as his hand cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin in a way that sent shivers down your spine. his kiss was intoxicating, the kind of slow, deliberate connection that pulled you under, drowning you in the heat of it. every move was deliberate yet tender like he was memorizing the shape of your mouth, the way you tasted.

the way his lips lingered just a moment longer than necessary before pulling back sent a thrill coursing through you, leaving your heart pounding harder than the bass reverberating through the yacht. when he leaned closer, his breath warm against your ear, the world seemed to narrow to just the two of you.

“let’s get out of here,” he murmured, his voice low and laced with something teasingly intimate, sending a ripple of heat down your spine.

you shot him a playful look, fighting the urge to grin as you turned toward the room. “guys, i’m feeling a bit seasick, i’m gonna get some air,” you called out, your voice carrying over the chatter and the music. a few heads turned, some murmured half-concerned responses, but most were too engrossed in their own revelry to notice.

felix didn’t miss a beat. “i’ll come with you,” he said casually, pushing himself up from the couch. he straightened his jacket, brushing off dust with a flick of his hands. the corner of his mouth quirked into a smirk, and for a split second, his gaze flicked to the others in the room, almost daring anyone to object. no one did.

without hesitation, he reached for your hand, his fingers sliding effortlessly between yours. his touch was firm but unhurried as if he had all the time in the world to pull you along. you let him guide you toward the exit, your heart racing in time with the pounding music.

the music grew louder as you climbed the stairs, a deep bassline thrumming in your chest like a second heartbeat. the soft glow of neon lights filtered through the narrow stairwell, going dimmer until you reached the deck. outside, the air was crisp and carried the faint saltiness of the sea.

the deck was just like downstairs—bodies dancing in rhythm, laughter ringing out above the pulsing music, and bursts of celebration as corks popped from champagne bottles. felix’s hand brushed against yours, and when you glanced at him, he raised an eyebrow. away from the clamor, tucked into a shadowed corner where the neon lights softened to a subtle glow, felix found a small, secluded alcove near the railing. it felt like a world apart, a quiet pocket of peace with nothing but the open ocean stretching beyond.

you drifted toward the railing, your steps slow and deliberate as if drawn by the water’s quiet pull. leaning forward, you rested your arms on the smooth metal and gazed down at the foam churning against the yacht’s hull. the faint, rhythmic lapping of the waves was a soothing counterpoint to the muffled music behind you.

the weight of felix’s gaze was unmistakable, and you felt it like a physical thing pressing against your back. when you glanced over your shoulder, his eyes were locked on you, dark and unreadable, but with a heat that made your breath catch. the way he looked at you like he was memorizing every detail, sent a shiver skimming down your spine.

without thinking, you turned fully to face him. the faint curve of his smirk faltered, replaced by something softer as you took a step closer. his name lingered on the tip of your tongue, unspoken, as your hand reached for his, threading your fingers through his in a single, decisive motion. then, with a steady but gentle pull, you guided him backward until his shoulders met the smooth wall of the yacht.

"not wasting any time, are you?" he murmured, his voice deep and teasing.

instead of answering, you stepped into him, your body aligning with his, and brought your hands up to rest lightly on his chest. his breath hitched as you tilted your head, your lips brushing his in a kiss that started soft before deepening. your mouth parted upon reaching his lips, before closing fully around them. the moment your mouth fully captured his, he groaned softly against your lips, the sound vibrating through you. 

his hands found your waist, his grip firm yet deliberate, like he couldn’t decide whether to hold you closer or let you take the lead. you didn’t give him the chance to decide. your fingers slid up to tangle in his hair, pulling him down to you as your body pressed flush against his.

his lips parted under yours, the faint taste of whiskey and something sweet lingering on his tongue as the kiss grew deeper, messier. you couldn’t help the quiet, breathless sound that escaped you, and the way his grip on your waist tightened told you he’d noticed. one of his hands slid up your back, fingers brushing along your spine in a way that made you shiver. the other stayed on your hip, steadying you as your knees threatened to give out.

you broke apart just long enough to gasp for air, your lips brushing against his as you whispered his name, your voice low and shaky. his forehead pressed against yours, his breath coming in quick, shallow bursts. “you’re killing me, you know that?” he murmured, his voice rough with something between a laugh and a groan.

your only response was to kiss him again, this time slower but no less heated. his hands roamed your sides, slipping under the hem of your top just enough for his fingers to graze the warm skin beneath. the feeling sent a jolt through you, and you pulled back slightly, your lips swollen and your breath ragged as you met his gaze.

his eyes were heavy-lidded, his pupils blown wide, and the way he was looking at you made you feel like the only person in the world. “you’re so beautiful,” he said softly, almost like he hadn’t meant to say it out loud. 

the corner of your mouth lifted into a lazy smile as you reached up, your fingers feather-light as they traced the edge of his collarbone where it peeked out from the neckline of his shirt. felix’s eyes dropped immediately, watching the movement like he was mesmerized. his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, the sound audible in the quiet.

you tilted your head, studying him through half-lidded eyes. “what?” you teased, your voice low, a little slurred. “something wrong?”

his gaze snapped back to yours, and the way he looked at you was almost disbelieving. “you can’t—” he stopped, his voice catching slightly. he exhaled sharply, his hands tightening on your waist. “you can’t look at me like that.”

a laugh escaped you, soft and teasing, before you leaned down and pressed your lips to the curve of his collarbone. his reaction was immediate—a sharp intake of breath, his head tipping back slightly as his hands twitched against your sides. encouraged, you kissed the spot again, this time letting your lips linger a fraction longer.

“is that okay?” you asked, your voice quieter now, almost shy.

his response came fast. “yes. god, yes.”

you smiled against his skin, your drunken mind letting go of any hesitation. you kissed the same spot again, slow and deliberate, before moving down the line of his collarbone, your lips parting slightly to trail open-mouthed kisses along his skin. his chest rose and fell under your touch, each kiss drawing a sharp inhale or a quiet sound from him that only spurred you on.

when you reached the base of his neck, his breath hitched audibly. without thinking, you pressed your lips there, rougher this time, and his hand gripped your hip like it was the only thing keeping him steady. you nipped at the skin lightly, testing, before sucking harder, your teeth pinching it just enough to make him jolt.

“shit,” he hissed, his voice strained but desperate. “don’t stop.”

you paused just long enough to laugh, the sound vibrating against his neck. “seemed like it hurt though” you teased, kissing the spot softly as if in apology.

“yeah, but…” he admitted, his voice cracking slightly. “don’t stop, baby.”

“what?” you muttered, your lips brushing his skin as you pulled back slightly. you tilted your head, looking up at him through your lashes, your fingers toying with his shirt.

a flicker of nervousness flashed through his eyes. “it just… spilled out, i don’t know, i’ve drunk a lot,” he said, his voice quieter now, like he wasn’t sure how you’d react.

you smiled, slow and warm, and your fingertips grazed his jaw. “i like it,” you murmured, your voice soft but certain. you leaned back in, pressing a kiss to the spot just above his collarbone, your lips lingering. “baby.”

felix let out a shaky exhale, his hands twitching on your hips. “god,” he murmured, his voice low and strained. “you’re gonna kill me.”

you hummed in response, your lips curling into a sly smile against his skin. you kissed him again, harder this time, your teeth grazing the spot. he melted into you, his head tipping back against the wall, exposing more of his neck to you like an offering.

his chest rose and fell with unsteady breaths as you continued, planting kiss after kiss along his collarbone, pausing only to flick your tongue against the skin before pulling back to suck just hard enough to leave your mark. you didn’t hesitate, letting your drunken instincts guide you as you pressed your lips to his pulse point. it was warm and steady beneath your mouth, and the sound he made spurred you on. you sucked harder this time, your teeth grazing his skin just enough to make him suck in a sharp breath.

your lips were still pressed to felix’s neck when, suddenly, he stiffened under your touch. his hands, which had been steady and reverent on your waist, tightened abruptly. before you could react, he pulled back, his eyes dark and wild, his chest heaving like he was struggling to catch his breath.

“felix?” you whispered, your voice unsteady as you tried to read the storm in his expression.

he didn’t answer—not with words. instead, in one fluid motion, he grabbed your wrists, his grip firm but not painful, and spun you around. your back met the cool surface of the wall with a soft thud, and you let out a surprised gasp, your eyes wide as you stared up at him.

his body was so close, his heat pressing into you, his hands now planted on either side of your head as though to cage you in. he lowered his head, his face dipping into the crook of your neck, and you froze, your breath catching in your throat.

the sound of him inhaling deeply, his nose grazing your skin, sent a shiver skimming down your spine. “you smell so good,” he muttered, his voice rough and barely above a growl. the raw intensity of it made your stomach flip, your heart hammering in your chest.

“it’s okay,” you murmured, your voice soft, and soothing, though your own breathing was uneven. you brought your hands up, your fingers brushing over his arms lightly. “felix, it’s okay.”

he nodded against your neck, his movements almost frantic, and then his lips were on you—hot, open-mouthed kisses pressed to the sensitive skin beneath your jaw. his hands gripped your hips, rougher now, his fingers digging into your flesh like he was afraid you’d disappear if he let go.

his lips trailed fire down your neck, each kiss igniting a blaze that spread through your body. his mouth was rough and hungry, his teeth grazing your skin just enough to make your knees weak. you clutched at his biceps now, your fingers curling into the taut muscle beneath his shirt as if that was the only thing tethering you to reality.

the roughness of his grip on your hips contrasted with the tenderness that usually radiated from him. felix was different now—less patient, less careful, his every touch desperate, insistent. it was like he couldn’t get close enough, couldn’t have enough of you, and you felt yourself sinking deeper into the haze of him.

your back pressed harder against the wall as he leaned his weight into you, his body completely crowding yours. all you could feel was him—his warmth, his need, the way his lips desperately painted you, dragging you impossibly closer.

the sharp edge of his jaw brushed against your cheek as he kissed his way back up, lips meeting yours in a kiss that stole the air from your lungs. his movements were messy and unrestrained, and you matched him with equal fervor, too lost in the moment to care about anything else.

the wind whipped around you, the faint scent of salt and sea lingering in the air, but even that was overpowered by the heady scent of felix. the muffled sound of waves lapping against the yacht seemed so far away now, as did the thought that anyone could stumble across you like this. you should care—you would care—but his hands slid up your sides, rough and commanding, and every coherent thought you had dissolved into nothing.

your world narrowed down to him. his touch, his lips, the way his voice came out rough and broken when he muttered your name like a prayer against your skin. you forgot where you were, forgot everything but the way he made you feel—like the storm he carried inside him had seeped into you, leaving you breathless and burning.

“god, i just—” his voice was muffled against your skin, broken and desperate. “i can’t— i don’t want to hold back anymore.” he bit lightly at your neck, making you gasp, and he froze, pulling back just slightly. “was that too much, baby? tell me if it’s too much.”

you shook your head quickly, your own body trembling with need. “no, it’s not. i like it. i want you, felix.”

that seemed to snap the last thread of his restraint. with a low groan, he tilted his head, capturing your lips in a kiss so hungry, so full of need, it left you dizzy. his hands slid up your sides, pushing under your shirt to rest against the bare skin of your waist, the heat of his touch making you arch into him.

“you drive me crazy,” he murmured against your lips, his voice thick and heavy. “you don’t even realize, do you? how much i like you?”

“i do,” you whispered, threading your fingers through his hair and pulling him closer. “i do.” you repeated.

his eyes darkened, and he leaned in again, his kisses rougher now, more insistent. his hands moved with the same urgency, one sliding up to cradle the back of your neck while the other trailed down to your thigh, gripping it firmly and hitching your leg up to his hip.

“you’re so…,” he muttered, his voice low and almost reverent as he looked down at you, his gaze raking over your form. “so perfect. like you were made to fit right here, with me.”

your cheeks burned at his words, but before you could respond, he pressed his body closer, pinning you against the wall with a desperation that sent your pulse racing. his lips were everywhere—your neck, your jaw, your collarbone—leaving a trail of heat in their wake. every kiss, every touch, was filled with an intensity that left you breathless.

“god, i can’t get enough of you,” he groaned, his voice raw. “i feel like i’m losing my mind.”

you smiled softly, reaching up to cup his face and grounding him with your touch. “then lose it,” you whispered, your voice steady despite the tremble in your body. “i’m right here.”

felix’s breath was ragged as he pulled back slightly, his forehead pressing against yours, his eyes squeezed shut like he was fighting an internal war. his hands were still on your hips, trembling slightly as though he were using every ounce of willpower to keep himself grounded.

“baby, i can’t,” he muttered, his voice hoarse and filled with regret. he opened his eyes, meeting your gaze, and the conflict there made your chest tighten. “not here. not tonight. you deserve better than a drunken night on my friend’s yacht.”

you blinked at him, your lips parted as his words sank in. “then we stop where you want to. wherever feels right for both of us,” you whispered, your hands sliding up to rest against his chest, feeling the frantic beat of his heart beneath your palms.

felix’s chest rose and fell under your touch as your words hung in the air between you. slowly, his hands on your waist tightened slightly, grounding himself. “i’m fine with what we’re doing right now,” he murmured, his voice softer now, but laced with a quiet intensity. his lips curved into a faint, almost shy smile, and you felt your heart skip at the way he looked at you—open and unguarded.

“me too,” you whispered, your fingertips brushing lightly against his chest before trailing up to his collarbone. your gaze dropped, catching sight of the faint marks you’d left on his skin. the sight sent a jolt through you. “they look good on you, by the way,” you said, your voice soft as your fingers hovered over one of the marks, resisting the urge to touch it again. the blush that crept up his neck only made him more endearing, but there was no mistaking the way his pupils dilated at your words. his lips parted slightly, his breath hitching.

“yeah?” he rasped, his voice lower now, rough around the edges. his gaze flickered over your face before it dropped lower, catching on the curve of your neck.

you tilted your head, a teasing smirk playing on your lips as you raised an eyebrow at him. “you’re gonna walk back out there like this?” you asked, gesturing vaguely to the blooming marks trailing along his neck.

felix’s brows furrowed for a moment, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. “why shouldn’t i?” he replied, his voice steady but laced with something darker—something that made your pulse quicken.

you let out a soft laugh, shaking your head at him, though the sound was cut short when he shifted closer, the wall behind you pressing firmly against your back. “oh, i don’t know,” you mused, looking up at him through your lashes, “maybe because your parents trusted their angel son to be responsible with his girlfriend for the week.”

felix’s jaw tightened at your words, but there was a flicker of a smirk that tugged at the corners of his lips. he leaned back slightly, giving you just enough space to meet his gaze fully. “so what if they see?” he murmured, his voice low and deliberate. “i mean, if anything, this just shows how you’re not the angel they thought you were.”

your eyes widened, and a mix of surprise and indignation flashed across your face. “are you framing me right now?” you asked, pouting as you jabbed a finger into his chest. “you’re the one who couldn’t keep his hands to himself, lee felix.”

he let out a soft, breathy laugh, the sound rumbling through his chest as his hands settled on your waist again, his thumbs stroking over the fabric of your dress. “i’m just looking out for myself,” he teased.

you scoffed, narrowing your eyes at him as a smile tugged at your lips despite yourself. “fine, then how about this,” you said, tilting your head as you slid your hands up to his shoulders. “why don’t you just return the favor? that way, we’ll split the blame fifty-fifty when your parents come back.”

felix’s smirk widened, his eyes gleaming with something dangerous and teasing all at once. “now that’s fair,” he murmured, his voice dropping as he leaned in closer. before you could respond, he ducked his head, diving into the curve of your neck with no hesitation. his lips pressed hot against your skin, his teeth grazing just enough to make you gasp as he worked with full intent to leave hickeys. 

god, you really wished you didn’t have to regret this tomorrow.

[pixiefelixie]

hii can i be on the remember the summer taglist plss i already lovee it sm ❤️

Ofc!! I’m so glad you’re enjoying it 💕💕

[pixiefelixie]

𓆝..°°𓈒 ⋆ (필릭스) : REMEMBER THIS SUMMER "MONDAY"

𓆉 °°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ synopsis felix is living the summer every teenager dreams of, with a perfect beach house on the east coast of australia and an even more perfect girlfriend. by taking the best of both worlds, felix invites her to experience the world he grew up in to make this the best summer ever. amidst bonfires, romantic sunsets, and seagulls, felix has one goal this summer: to finally tell her he loves her. with just one week to do so, felix is met with a challenge to make his feelings known before time runs out. 

pairing: nonidol!felix x fem!reader, series warnings: felix + reader are intended to be 17-18, established relationship, fluff, underaged drinking at a bonfire/party, use of "chink" please read below, borderline violence due to influence under alcohol, suggestive (making out for the first time) important notes: The content of this work is purely fictional and is not intended to endorse or encourage any behavior, especially among minors, that may be deemed inappropriate or unsafe. This story is created solely for entertainment purposes and should be understood as fiction. This work includes the use of a racial slur, which is solely included for the purpose of the story and to reflect certain character dynamics or societal issues. It does not represent my personal views or beliefs, nor does it come from the characters of Felix or the reader. As an Asian author, I approach this topic with sensitivity and awareness. The inclusion of such language is not intended to perpetuate harm but rather to portray the realities faced by marginalized communities. Reader discretion is advised.

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chapter under the cut! ~11k words

the next morning, you woke up in the guest room you were staying in, the sun beaming through the large windows. the room was bathed in a warm, golden light, making the white walls and light blue accents glow softly. you could hear the faint sound of the ocean waves crashing against the shore in the distance and the air was filled with the fresh scent of morning dew.

you sat up and looked at your phone for the time. it was still early, but the sun was making its presence known. you plopped back down, and after a few moments of basking in the morning light, you decided to get up. slipping on your fluffy slippers, you headed out of your room to freshen up.

a quick rinse of your face, a good teeth brushing, and a refreshing shower later, you felt fully awake. you brushed through your still-damp hair, deciding to leave it to dry naturally. the humid summer air always seemed to coax out the soft waves in your hair. besides, you loved the effortless look the season gave you—tanned skin from those first few weeks of summer, a natural glow that didn’t need much enhancement.

you curled your lashes, swiped on a bit of tinted lip balm, and stepped back to check the mirror. that was all you needed. summer was kind like that: minimal effort, maximum payoff. your skin had that sun-kissed warmth, and your hair had a life of its own, perfectly undone in a way you couldn’t replicate any other time of year. you smiled at yourself, satisfied, and headed out to see where the morning would take you.

once you got back to your room, you rummaged through your suitcase and picked out an outfit: a pair of frayed denim shorts and a flowy floral top with soft pink and yellow hues. the combo was light, breezy, and perfect for the warm day ahead. just as you were putting your necklace on, a knock sounded at the door.

"come in," you called.

the door creaked open to reveal felix, and you had to bite back a laugh. his hair was a complete disaster—wild tufts sticking up every which way, as if he'd had an argument with his pillow all night and lost. he stood there, bleary-eyed, wearing nothing but a pair of red plaid pajama pants slung low on his hips. his chest rose and fell with the kind of lazy rhythm that only came with someone who wasn’t fully awake yet. his squinting eyes barely adjusted to the golden morning light streaming in from your windows.

"look at you!" you teased, unable to resist pulling out your phone and snapping a quick picture of his morning look.

felix groaned dramatically, running a hand through his already messy hair in a failed attempt to tame it. "why are you like this?" he mumbled, shuffling across the room like a grumpy toddler before collapsing face-first onto your bed. "can i sleep here?" he muttered into your pillow, his voice muffled.

you perched on the edge of the bed, brushing a strand of damp hair behind your ear. "what's wrong?"

"a pigeon keeps pecking at my window," he grumbled, dragging your blanket over his bare shoulders like a makeshift cocoon.

"a pigeon?" you repeated, already laughing.

"seagull, same thing," he muttered sleepily, burrowing deeper into the covers like he was trying to merge with your bed. after a moment, he inhaled deeply and let out a content sigh. "and the bed smells like you," he said softly, his hand reaching out blindly until it found yours. he gave it a light squeeze before letting his arm fall limply back onto the mattress.

your chest tightened at the sweetness of it. smiling, you reached out to brush his hair, the strands soft between your fingers despite the chaos. "my mom wanted us to get bagels this morning," he said, his face still buried in your pillow. "they only have the good ones in the morning," he mumbled, the words barely decipherable but completely serious, like he was delivering some sacred bagel truth.

"then we better go," you said, laughing softly.

felix groaned again, this time flipping over onto his back, the blanket now tangled around his waist. he looked up at you through half-lidded eyes, a lazy smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "not yet," he murmured, his voice low and rough with sleep. “come on, lay with me for a minute," he said, patting the empty spot beside him.

"felix," you said, rolling your eyes.

he waved a dismissive hand, his biceps flexing ever so slightly. "my mom will survive. it’s not like they’re gonna run out in the next five minutes." his smirk widened as his eyes flicked over to you. "seriously, come here. the bed’s big enough, and i’m a fantastic pillow. multi-purpose, really."

you crossed your arms, arching a brow. "you’re ridiculous."

"just for a minute,” he stretched his arms over his head, showing just enough of his abs to make it clear he wasn’t playing fair. "the bed’s warm. and you’re cold."

"i’m not cold," you said, shaking your head as you grabbed a pillow and lightly smacked it against his chest. "get moving, felix," you shot back, already heading toward the door before he could say anything else to make your face heat up.

as you neared the dock of his family’s beach, the sight of their boat came into view. it was a sleek, white vessel with blue trim, bobbing gently in the water. felix led the way, his hand still holding yours, guiding you with ease.

“i got you,” he said, stepping onto the boat first, the wood creaking slightly under his weight. he turned back, extending a hand to you. you took it, feeling the strength of his grip as you jumped in, the boat rocking slightly once again.

felix helped you steady yourself, and guided you to a seat beside him as he made his way to the helm. the boat’s interior was polished and tidy, with cushioned seats and a small table in the centre. you sat down, feeling the coolness of the white leather seat beneath you.

he started the engine, the low hum of the motor blending with the sounds of the sea. the boat began to glide smoothly across the water, the wind whipping through your hair. you watched as felix expertly maneuvered the boat, his hands steady on the wheel. the sun reflected off the water, casting shimmering patterns on the boat’s deck.

felix turned to you with a smile, his eyes sparkling with excitement. you couldn’t help but smile back, the wind tugging at your hair and filling your lungs with the salty scent of the sea. his goofy side always comes out when he was driving the boat. he leaned into the turns with exaggerated movements, pretending to be a race car driver.

“hold on tight!” felix shouted, his voice barely audible over the rush of wind and waves. he accelerated, the boat picking up speed and bouncing over the water. you grabbed the edge of your seat, as he sent sprays of water into the air, the droplets sparkling like diamonds in the sunlight.

“having fun?” he called out, but his words were lost in the wind. you furrowed your brow, unable to hear him clearly.

“what?” you shouted back, leaning in to try and catch his words. he repeated himself, but the wind still swallowed his voice. determined to understand, you moved closer, bringing your face just inches from his. felix laughed at your proximity, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

before you could ask again, he couldn't help but take that chance to kiss you, his lips warm and firm against yours. you pulled back with a grin, playfully swatting his arm. “focus!” you said, laughing.

felix chuckled, his eyes never leaving the water as he steadied the boat. “i asked if you're having fun,” he repeated, louder this time.

“yeah!” you replied, your voice just as loud to compete with the wind. felix gave a satisfied nod, his eyes twinkling with a mischievous glint.

without thinking twice, you jumped up from your seat and made your way to the open area in the bow of the boat. felix watched with amusement as you raised your hands in the air and let out a loud "whoo!" that echoed across the ocean.

the wind tousled your hair as you embraced the thrill of the moment, the salty breeze tingling against your skin. as you passed by another boat, its wake created a larger wave, causing you to squeal in surprise. you stumbled slightly as the boat rocked, testing your balance and felix's laughter bubbled up as he saw you teeter for a moment, but you managed to steady yourself, grinning widely despite the near slip.

you then reached into your pocket and pulled out your trusty digital camera. with a mischievous grin, you skipped back to felix and aimed the camera backwards towards both of you.

you pressed a kiss to felix's cheek for the photo and he posed with a big beaming smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners, captured in the frame. as you lowered the camera and looked back at the photo on the small screen, a gasp escaped your lips which felix could easily guess meant you were happy with it.

as you looked up from the camera, the harbour came into view like something out of a postcard. rows of boats rocked gently in the sparkling blue water, their masts swaying in time with the soft waves. the docks were lined with weathered wooden planks, and colourful flags fluttered in the breeze, adding splashes of vibrant reds, yellows, and blues to the scene. small pastel-painted shops and cozy waterfront cafés dotted the shoreline, their signs advertising fresh seafood, ice cream, and souvenirs. overhead, seagulls circled lazily, their sharp cries blending with the hum of conversation and the occasional bark of a distant dog.

felix eased the boat to a slower pace, the engine's hum softening as he steered with practiced precision. his hand rested on the wheel, his posture relaxed yet focused. he glanced over at you, the corners of his lips tugging into a small, confident smile. “alright,” he said, gesturing towards the front of the boat. “you see the anchor up at the bow?”

your eyes followed his motion, spotting the anchor coiled neatly near the edge. “mmhm,” you said with a nod.

“i want you to grab it and take it to the edge. when i say ‘drop it,’ you let it go slow. don’t just chuck it, alright? you want it to catch, not tangle.”

“yes sir,” you said, suppressing a grin at his serious tone.

with careful steps, you moved to the bow, the anchor feeling heavier than you expected as you lifted it. felix slowed the boat further, adjusting the wheel slightly as he glanced over his shoulder to make sure you were ready. “alright, now. lower it nice and steady.”

you crouched down and eased the anchor into the water, feeling its weight pull gently against your grip as the chain unraveled. the boat gave a soft tug as the anchor caught, settling it into place. “great job,” felix said from behind you, his tone warm. “now come back here.”

as you returned to your seat, felix hopped out of the boat with effortless ease, the dock creaking softly under his weight. he bent down and grabbed the rope, securing it to a nearby cleat with a twist and loop. straightening up, he looked back at you and extended a hand. “your turn,” he said, his voice teasing. “come on, before you fall in and i have to fish you out.”

“funny,” you muttered, rolling your eyes and taking his hand. his grip was strong but careful as he helped you step onto the dock, your feet finding the sturdy planks beneath you.

“nice, isn’t it?” he asked, glancing around with an easy grin. the sun caught on the streaks of gold in his hair, and his eyes reflected the deep blue of the water.

“it’s beautiful,” you replied softly, taking in the bustling harbour again. the air was alive with the sound of children laughing and the clinking of glasses from a nearby café patio. a pair of kids ran past you, their flip-flops slapping against the wood, and you couldn’t help but smile at the carefree energy of it all.

felix gave your hand a gentle squeeze, his touch grounding. “come on,” he said, leading you down the dock with a laid-back confidence, his fingers still loosely intertwined with yours. as the two of you walked, the scent of saltwater mingled with the tempting aroma of fresh bread and coffee, making you feel like you’d stepped into a perfect summer day.

as you continued walking along the dock, the bagel shop came into view, a quaint little place with a sea blue and white striped awning that fluttered gently in the breeze. the windows were adorned with hand-painted signs advertising fresh bagels, coffee, and house-made spreads. the aroma of freshly baked bread spilled into the street, mingling with the salty tang of the ocean air.

the inside of the shop was just as charming as the outside. rustic wooden tables were scattered around, their surfaces polished smooth from years of use. a chalkboard menu hung above the counter, listing the day’s offerings in looping white script. the display case beneath it was packed with three types of bagels—everything, blueberry, and cinnamon raisin—alongside trays of pastries glistening with sugar glazes and bowls of spreads.

the place wasn’t busy yet, so you and felix went straight up to the counter. behind it stood a girl about your age, her blonde hair pulled into a neat braid that highlighted her delicate features. when her eyes landed on your boyfriend, they lit up like fireworks, her entire face breaking into a radiant smile.

“oh my gosh, is that felix?” she exclaimed, her voice carrying a bubbly excitement that seemed to fill the shop.

felix offered her a polite smile as he replied, “good day.”

the girl leaned forward slightly, resting her hands on the counter as she beamed at him. “when did you get in?” she asked, her enthusiasm unmistakable.

“we drove down yesterday morning,” felix said, glancing at the menu.

“wow, it’s so good to have you back!” she gushed, her words tumbling out like she couldn’t get them fast enough. 

“how’s the store been this summer?” he asked.

“busy, busy, like every year,” she replied. “you know how it gets when the tourists roll in. but it’s been good. we’ve had a lot of regulars come in lately, which is nice.”

“nice,” felix nodded, his fingers tapping absentmindedly on the counter. 

she paused for a second, glancing toward the sea. “there’s a new pastry shop that just opened up a couple of streets over,” she said, her expression turning a little more serious. “they’re getting a lot of attention, to be honest. the line’s been out the door every morning, and i’m not sure what’s drawing people in, but they’re definitely pulling a crowd.”

felix raised an eyebrow. “sheesh,” he murmured, shaking his head slightly. “competition getting fierce, huh?”

“yeah,” she said with a half-smile, but there was a glimmer of pride in her eyes. “i mean, it’s good for the neighborhood, right? more foot traffic, more people coming through. but it does make things interesting, that’s for sure.”

felix laughed softly, leaning back a little. “i get that.” he shrugged.

“we try our best to keep the locals happy. you know, there’s gonna be a bonfire tonight a couple hundred metres from your house. i still remember how much you and chris loved them last year.” she smiled at the memory, her tone softening just a bit. “how is he, by the way?”

chris had been felix's family friend since they were toddlers, and you knew him as an incredibly nice guy. felix often told you stories about how he used to think chris and his friends were so much older and cooler. even when felix was still in elementary school and chris had already entered secondary school, he often invited felix to hang out with him. there was always a hint of admiration in felix’s voice when he talked about those days, like chris had been more of an older brother than just a friend.

“he’s doing great,” felix replied with an easy grin, leaning his elbow on the counter. “i don’t think he’s coming this year, though. he’s off to college this fall, so he’s had a lot going on.”

“that’s a shame,” she said, her expression faltering for just a second before brightening again. “but you could bring…” her gaze slid to you, the pause deliberate.

felix didn’t miss a beat. “of course,” he said smoothly, stating your name like it was the most natural thing in the world.

her smile stayed in place, but her eyes flicked over you quickly, assessing. there was something in her look—friendly, but maybe a touch too curious. “great. i hope you both can make it,” she said, her tone as cheerful as ever.

“we’ll see,” felix replied noncommittally, already turning his attention to the bagels. “can we get a dozen, please?”

“sure thing,” she said, tapping the order into the register. “anything else?”

“that’s all,” felix said, pulling out his wallet and handing over a crisp bill.

“coming right up,” she chirped, flashing another bright smile before moving to prepare the order.

as she turned away, felix rested his hand lightly on your back, the warmth of his palm steady and grounding. “let’s go over here,” he murmured, steering you toward a quiet spot by the window. 

felix leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a quieter tone, the teasing edge softening just a little. "can i be honest with you?" he asked, his eyes locking with yours in that way that made your pulse quicken. you nodded, the corners of your lips lifting in curiosity, wondering where this was going.

his hand brushed over his face, clearly hesitant. "i… i did not know her name," he confessed, his voice laced with embarrassment.

you blinked, trying to make sense of it. "wait—what?" you laughed, a little incredulous. "are you serious right now?"

"i’m not joking!" felix said with a self-deprecating laugh. "i’ve always just called her 'the bagel girl,'" he explained, his voice tinged with a hint of disbelief, as if it was still a bit ridiculous to him. "and it wasn’t even that i didn’t care enough to remember her name," he added quickly, his face turning a little red. "it’s just... i don’t know if it never came up."

you raised an eyebrow, the wheels turning in your mind. "so, how come she knows your name?" you asked, a little amused. "it must have come up before.?"

felix shifted uncomfortably, his hands slipping into his pockets. "well," he began, looking down for a moment before meeting your gaze, "last year my friend told me she was into me, and i guess she figured it out from, you know, caring so much." he smirked.

"no wonder you were so flirty just then," you teased, leaning in slightly with a playful grin. "you definitely wanted her to eat it up, didn’t you? you dick."

felix immediately turned red, and his eyes widened in offense. "i did not!" he protested, throwing his hands up as if to defend his honor.

you laughed, nudging him. "it’s normal, felix. we’ve all done it before." you said.

felix let out a dramatic sigh, leaning back a little. "believe what you want," he said with a casual shrug, but there was still that teasing glint in his eye. "i was just being felix. nothing more to it."

still, you decided to piss him off further. "i don’t blame you though," you said, crossing your arms. "i mean, if i knew a girl like that liked me, i’d probably do the same."

felix’s face flushed deeper, and he opened his mouth to respond, but the words caught in his throat. his voice dropped, almost uncertain. "i... i don’t..." he stuttered, trying to find the words to explain himself but failing. he wanted to deny it, to say something flippant like he always did, but something felt different now. he wanted to tell you that you were the only girl he found strikingly beautiful, that no one else had made him feel the way you did. but something inside him held back, just like it had last night.

“you know,” he started, his voice more serious now, “i’m not saying this to brag or anything…” he glanced at you, making sure you were listening. “but this is what it was like last year,” he said, a small sigh escaping his lips. “it’s like... after i got abs, everyone suddenly noticed me.”

you raised an eyebrow, your tone light but curious. “interesting,” you said.

"before, it was chris and felix. like i was always following him around," he continued, his voice softer now, almost as if he were thinking out loud. "he was always the older one, the one everyone knew first. and then, last year, it was like people just realized i was there. like i had always been welcomed, but suddenly i wasn’t just chris’s little buddy anymore. people started looking at me differently. it was... strange.”

he shrugged, a small, almost self-deprecating smile playing at the corners of his lips, but there was a hint of uncertainty behind his words. "i guess that’s just how things go. i didn't really know how to handle it at first. it felt kind of weird, like i didn't belong in the spotlight, you know?"

the silence between you stretched for a moment as you processed his words. you could see the vulnerability in his eyes, the hesitation that lingered around his smile. it was rare for him to open up like this, and it felt like he was finally letting you see a side of him that wasn’t just the teasing felix you usually saw.

"i get that," you said, in an attempt to comfort him. "you don’t want to feel like you’re getting noticed because you’ve grown or look better. it’s hard when everyone suddenly sees you differently." you placed a hand gently on his arm, offering him a comforting squeeze. "but you’re more than that. you always have been. and people should notice you for who you are, not just how you look."

felix looked down at the ground for a moment, then met your gaze, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "yeah," he murmured, his voice soft. "i guess that’s why you’re special." he let out a quiet chuckle, his eyes twinkling as he crinkled his nose. "you first started liking me—back in physics, right? i mean, come on, keep in mind i had a full shirt on." he grinned, his tone teasing but affectionate. “that’s gotta mean something." he added the last part with a playful smirk.

"i think it was your charm and persuasion," you said with a teasing smile. "you always tricked me into thinking you knew what you were talking about, when you had no idea."

felix raised an eyebrow, a grin creeping back onto his face. "you're right," he admitted with a dramatic sigh. "physics was definitely not my strong suit."

you laughed, nodding knowingly. "whenever i’d ask you for help, you’d give these long-winded answers and sound so confident, but i could always tell you were just making it up."

felix groaned, dropping his head back dramatically. "stop," he whined, looking up at you with an exaggerated pout. "i just really liked you, okay?"

you smiled softly, nodding as you met his gaze. "i did too," you admitted, your voice quiet but sincere. "you were always so...felix. and even when you didn’t have all the answers, you somehow made everything feel like it was gonna be okay." the sincerity in your voice made his heart flutter. "but i should say, though, the summer crowd does get a view," you teased.

felix's breath hitched as your fingers toyed with the bottom hem of his shirt, the soft fabric slipping between your fingertips. his usual cocky confidence was slipping, and for a moment, you could see the rawness in his expression. he desperately wanted to stay calm but you had him completely off balance. his eyes darted between your hand and your face, but the words didn't come easily. he was so close now, his chest rising and falling in shallow breaths, like he was trying to contain the tension building between you.

you looked up at him, your eyes locking. in that moment, there was no pretending, no distractions. felix’s mind was clearly racing—she’s killing me—you could practically hear it. his gaze lingered on your lips, the smallest hesitation before his eyes met yours again.

“so,” he began, his voice hushed, almost strained. “about that bonfire…”

he trailed off, his words barely more than a whisper, and you could tell he was using it as a distraction. but it didn’t work. felix leaned in just a fraction closer, his body drawn to you like a magnet, but stopping him right before he closed the distance.

“i’m up for it unless you have anything else planned,” you said, your voice light but with an edge. your fingers still brushed over the collar of his shirt, teasing, the touch barely there but enough to keep him riled up. “i’ll go wherever you go,” you murmured. you saw the way his pupils dilated, the shift in his expression that told you everything you needed to know. he was losing the battle.

“oh yeah?” felix whispered, his voice low and husky now. he leaned in slightly, just close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating off him. he was dangerously close now, his lips just centimeters from yours.

but just as your eyes fluttered closed, just as you both inched forward—bam—the sound of a cheerful voice broke the spell, slicing through the electric air between you two.

“here you go!” the bagel girl’s voice rang out, sweet and carefree, as she reappeared with your order in hand. "a dozen, just as you ordered!"

felix froze, his eyes snapping open, and breaking whatever spell you put him under just now. he turned to the bagel girl with a grateful smile, though his expression was a little less natural now. "thanks a lot," he said, the words sounding a little rushed. "we’ll see you tonight."

you stood there for a moment, fighting the smirk that wanted to creep onto your face. felix rubbed the back of his neck, still visibly affected, and shot you a quick, sheepish glance.

day 2 - 22:00

"one... two... three..." you muttered, shifting your weight as you adjusted your angle with each count. you had to lean back just enough to get a better view of the bird's nest on the rooftop, but the night sky above made everything appear blurry and shadowed. the darkness seemed to swallow up the delicate nest, making it harder to see than you'd expected. "they're all here!" you exclaimed with a sigh of relief, your heart settling as you spotted the large eggs nestled safely inside the woven twigs. "now, please put me down."

felix let out a soft chuckle, the sound warm and familiar. he crouched down slightly, slowly lowering you until your feet touched the ground. "my parents should be done packing and ready to leave by now," he said, brushing his hands off and standing up straight with a satisfied stretch.

"let's go say goodbye," you replied, taking his hand in yours. the cool night air had a quiet stillness, and the weight of the moment seemed to settle over you as you gently pulled him toward the house, your fingers laced tightly with his.

inside, the house was bustling in a quiet sort of way. the living room was dotted with two carefully packed suitcases, bags filled with travel essentials, and little signs of the last-minute preparations that always seemed to rush by. felix's mom stood by the couch, smoothing out a stack of clothing, her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. she looked up as you entered, her face lighting up with a smile that was soft and welcoming. "there you two are! did you have a good time outside?" she asked, her voice gentle as always.

"yeah, we did," felix replied with a grin, giving your hand a soft squeeze. "all the baby birds are accounted for."

"that's wonderful," his mom said, her eyes sparkling with that ever-present twinkle of fondness. "you know, we’re getting a lot of crows this season. they’ve been very active around here."

felix's dad, who had been checking something on his phone, looked up and raised an eyebrow. "they might go after those gull eggs you two are so interested in," he warned with a playful glint in his eyes. "watch out for them, they like to come out in the rain."

felix’s mom smiled, shaking her head as she gave him a small push. "we should stop scaring them, dear," she said with a soft laugh. "we have a flight to catch."

you smiled warmly at them both, feeling the pang of saying goodbye. "have a fantastic trip!" you said, your voice filled with genuine warmth.

felix’s mom pulled you into a tight, affectionate hug, the kind that felt like home. "thank you," she said softly, kissing the top of your head before pulling back. "take care of each other while we're gone.” she then looked at her son and pulled him into a hug with felix’s dad.

"thanks for trusting me," felix said.

his mom responded first, her voice warm and reassuring as she gave him a tight squeeze. "we love you," she said.

felix’s dad clapped him on the back firmly. he leaned in, his voice low and meant only for his son. “she’s great, felix,” he said. “i’m proud of you.”

you didn’t catch the words, choosing to hang back near the door, giving them their moment. felix didn’t respond right away, but you caught the soft smile that crept onto his face, the way his eyes seemed to brighten just slightly as he held the hug a little longer. "i know," he murmured back, his voice quiet but sure.

finally, they pulled apart. felix’s dad adjusted his coat, clearing his throat as if to steady himself. “the house is stocked up,” he said in a firmer voice, slipping back into his practical role. “but make sure to buy whatever you need from the market.”

“thank you, dad,” felix replied, his smile now playful and easy again. “we’ll be fine.”

with one last round of hugs and warm smiles, his parents picked up their luggage and headed toward the door. you and felix followed, standing in the entryway as they wheeled their suitcases down the front steps. the yellow taxi idled at the curb, its engine humming softly in the night. his parents exchanged a few final words before the driver helped them load their bags into the trunk.

you and felix stayed on the porch as the taxi pulled away, its red tail lights glowing faintly against the darkened road. the engine hummed louder as it sped up, then grew quieter, the car shrinking into the distance until it disappeared around the corner. the stillness it left behind felt almost too big, wrapping around the two of you in the silence of the night.

felix exhaled, a sound that was part sigh, part laugh, and stuffed his hands into his pockets. he glanced at you, his expression unreadable for a moment, before a small, genuine smile curved his lips. "well," he said, his voice light, though you could still hear the lingering weight of the goodbye, "guess it’s just us now."

you didn’t answer, your eyes still fixed on the spot where the taxi had disappeared. the quiet around you felt heavy, like the world had gone still and was waiting for something to happen. your chest felt tight, your mind replaying the moment felix’s dad had mentioned the crows. you knew it had been a harmless comment, maybe even a joke, but the thought of the birds... it clung to you.

felix tilted his head slightly, his brow furrowing as he studied your face. “you okay?” he asked softly, breaking the silence. he reached out, his hand warm and steady as it rested lightly on yours.

you blinked, realizing you hadn’t moved, your fingers stiff and cold in his. “me? yeah,” you said, your voice a little too quick, a little too high. “um… i’m just a little shaken up.”

felix didn’t pull back, his hand staying where it was, grounding you. “by what?” he asked, his voice calm and patient, like he had all the time in the world for your answer.

you hesitated, feeling a little ridiculous now that you had to say it out loud. “the crows,” you admitted finally, your words barely above a whisper.

felix blinked in surprise before his lips quirked into a crooked smile. “yeah, crows. guess we’ll just have to keep an eye out for them, huh?”

“yeah,” you said quietly, your lips twitching into a faint smile. the tension in your shoulders eased slightly, and you glanced at him, grateful for his calm presence. “should we go?”

“bagel girl said it’s walking distance from here. i’ve got a pretty good idea where it is,” he replied, as he stepped toward the edge of the porch.

you followed him, the soft creak of the old wooden boards beneath your feet breaking the quiet of the night. the porch light flickered slightly, casting a warm but uneven glow over the small front yard. felix hopped down the steps first, his sneakers crunching softly against the gravel path that led to the street. then you stepped off the porch, your sandals scuffing against the gravel as you caught up to felix.

as you walked, the tranquil stillness of the evening began to shift. at first, it was barely noticeable—a faint vibration beneath your feet that made you pause for a moment, thinking it might just be the rhythm of your own footsteps. but then, as you continued, the sound grew louder, more distinct. the soft thudding transformed into a steady, rhythmic beat, resonating in your chest like the pulse of something alive.

“do you hear that?” you asked, squeezing felix’s hand lightly as you looked up at him.

he nodded, his eyes glinting with curiosity, and a grin spread across his face. “yeah. sounds like we’re close.”

the further you walked, the more the sound surrounded you, enveloping the quiet of the night. the bass grew stronger, its deep thrum underscored by the hum of voices and the occasional burst of laughter. the noise wasn’t chaotic; it was inviting, like a lure calling you forward.

turning a corner, the source of the sound finally came into view. a large bonfire burned brightly in the center of a clearing, its golden flames licking up toward the dark sky. the fire cast flickering shadows over the faces of the crowd gathered around it, making their features seem almost otherworldly in the dancing light. warmth radiated outward, pushing back the coolness of the night and wrapping around you like an embrace.

the scent of burning wood filled the air, mingling with the briny tang of the sea breeze that drifted in from somewhere close by. waves crashed faintly in the distance, their rhythm syncing with the beat of the music. strings of fairy lights were strung haphazardly between trees, their soft glow adding a touch of magic to the scene. laughter rippled through the group as someone poked at the fire with a long stick, sending sparks spiraling upward like tiny, golden fireworks.

as you approached, your attention was drawn to a guy frantically wrestling with a beer keg near the edge of the crowd. he was conventionally attractive, you would say. dirty blonde with blue eyes, tall, and tan, definitely not your type but he could 100% be a heartthrob back at school in sydney. the poor guy was losing a battle against the tap, beer squirting out in all directions as his hands slipped against the slick surface. his muttering, a mix of frustration and colorful language, carried over the music. every few seconds, he’d glance around like he was hoping someone—anyone—would step in to help.

you couldn’t help it—you turned to felix, stifling a laugh behind your hand. the sight was just too funny. “do you see that?”

felix followed your gaze and grinned, shaking his head. “that’s griffin sanders. he’s a total dumbass,” he said with a chuckle, his voice full of fond exasperation, like this wasn’t even the first time he’d witnessed something like this.

you laughed, the sound light as you both made your way deeper into the crowd. the bonfire was the heart of the gathering, its flames throwing warm, golden light over everything and everyone. the air was thick with the mingling scents of wood smoke, spilled beer, and salty sea air. laughter and music filled the space, the bassline vibrating faintly under your feet.

as you moved through the group, heads turned. felix, it seemed, was a familiar face. a few guys nodded at him in greeting, calling out quick, friendly remarks as you passed. but it was the way some of the girls reacted that caught your attention. their expressions lit up when they spotted him—bright eyes, wide smiles—but the moment they noticed you walking beside him, their enthusiasm dimmed. smiles faltered, and they glanced away quickly, feigning disinterest as if they hoped you hadn’t seen. you had seen, though, and you didn’t quite know how to feel about it.

felix didn’t seem to notice—or if he did, he didn’t let on. he navigated the crowd with ease, leading you toward a quieter spot near the bonfire. the logs arranged in a loose circle around the flames were worn smooth from use, and you both found a place to sit. the fire crackled, its warmth wrapping around you in gentle waves. flames leapt and twisted, their vibrant hues of orange and red mesmerizing against the backdrop of the dark sky.

the same guy who was fighting with the keg strolled up. felix looked up, his posture shifting slightly as recognition flickered across his face.

“it’s been a while, felix,” the guy said, his voice loud enough to cut through the surrounding noise. “looks like you brought a girl from sydney?”

felix smirked, gesturing toward you. “yeah, this is my girlfriend.”

“nice to meet you,” the guy said, turning his attention to you with a wink. “you can call me griff. so, how are you liking the beach, love?”

“it’s great,” you said, shifting slightly on the log. you glanced at felix for a moment before returning your attention to griff. “really beautiful. the kind of place that makes you forget about time, you know?”

griff laughed, the sound loud and boisterous. “spoken like someone who’s already been caught up in its charm. it’s what this place does to people. one minute you’re here for a weekend, and the next, you’re house-hunting.”

felix chuckled softly, “thanks for the sales pitch.”

griff waved a dismissive hand, his grin unwavering. “give it time, mate. she’s a keeper—you can tell.” before you could respond, he thrust a red plastic cup full of beer against felix’s chest. “here, i thought you might appreciate this.”

felix hesitated, his hand hovering near the cup but not taking it. “i, um…”

“come on, man. you used to drink all the time at these things,” griffin said, his tone a mix of coaxing and teasing. “no need to act all goodie in front of your dollface.”

you glanced at felix, your eyebrows drawing together. you’d never known him to drink—not once. your confusion must have shown on your face because felix glanced at you, his expression softening as if he could read the questions in your eyes.

“i’m actually good, thanks, griff,” felix said, his voice firm but polite. he shifted slightly on the log, leaning forward as if to place the cup back in griff’s hands.

“come on, felix. just one,” griffin persisted, waving off the refusal like it was nothing. “it’s only, like, two percent.”

felix sighed, a quiet exhale of resignation. you could tell he didn’t want to cause a scene. “you know what? i’ll take it for now,” he said, reluctantly taking the cup.

“that’s my boy,” griffin said, grinning as he clapped felix on the arm, the motion so aggressive it made felix wince slightly. he smiled awkwardly, clearly ready for this to end. but griff’s attention shifted to you next.

“and i’m definitely getting one for you,” griffin said, his grin widening. before you could protest, he was already jogging back toward the keg, weaving through the crowd with agility. you exchanged a look with felix, who rolled his eyes slightly, his lips curving into a lopsided smile. 

within moments, griff was back, holding a freshly poured cup of beer. he placed it at your feet with a flourish, his grin as wide as ever. before you could say a word, a girl called his name—a sharp shout that made him turn. “duty calls,” he said, raising his hand in a quick goodbye. “don’t be strangers, yeah?”

both your eyes followed him as he disappeared into the crowd. felix let out a breath and glanced at you, a faint crease forming between his brows. his lips pressed into a sheepish half-smile, like he was trying to downplay his discomfort. “i’ve only ever drank like…a few times. last year. he’s making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be.”

you shook your head, offering a small, reassuring smile. “no, no, it’s fine. really. i don’t mind.” then, your gaze dropped to the red cup, sitting upright in the sand like a lonely monument to peer pressure. “it’s just… what do i do with this?” you added, nudging it lightly with your shoe.

felix followed your gaze, his shoulders relaxing a little. “like he said, it’s only 2 percent,” he said. then, before you could reply, he lifted the cup in his hand up to his mouth and downed all of it in one smooth motion.

you raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk tugging at your lips. “okay, mister. i guess you’re having mine too.” without waiting for a response, you picked up your untouched cup and handed it to him.

felix chuckled, his laughter low and rich, shaking his head as he took it from you. “if you insist,” he said, his tone light, teasing. he lifted your cup to his lips and began to drink again. the liquid sloshed slightly against the rim as he tilted his head back, the firelight cast golden shadows across his face, catching the faint crease between his brows and the sharp angles of his jaw.

you shouldn’t be finding him this hot right now, but you couldn’t help it. it was the way his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, like he was making serious business with the beer. the way his adam’s apple bobbed up and down each time he swallowed. he finished with a final gulp, lowering the cup and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand in one smooth motion.

completely unaware that you’d been watching him, he set the cup down in the sand and glanced at you. when he noticed you staring, he paused, his head tilting slightly. “what?” he asked, his voice breaking the quiet.

you blinked, startled out of your thoughts. “what?” you echoed.

his brows furrowed again, but this time in confusion, his gaze searching your face. “you’re looking at me like i have two heads or something.”

you blinked at him, a playful glint in your eye as you tilted your head. “is that a problem?” you asked, your tone light but teasing.

felix’s lips quirked into a smirk, his eyes narrowing slightly in that mischievous way that always made your heart race. “no,” he said, his voice low and smooth. “i like it.”

the way he looked at you then, his gaze lingering on your lips, sent a flutter through your chest. his expression softened just a touch, his smirk fading into something more vulnerable. the space between you seemed to shrink, the crackle of the fire fading into the background as the world blurred into just him.

you felt a magnetic pull, as though some invisible thread was drawing you closer to him. slowly, you leaned in, your eyes fluttering shut as your heart thudded loudly in your chest. felix mirrored your movement, his breath warm against your skin as he closed the gap.

just as your lips were about to meet, a loud, sharp explosion rang out—a loud burst of sound coming from the sky so sudden it made you jump. your eyes snapped open, and you turned your head quickly toward the source, your pulse racing.

before you could process what had happened, felix’s hand slid gently to your chin, his touch warm and firm as he guided your face back toward him. “don’t worry about that,” he murmured, his voice husky and low. his gaze locked onto yours, his expression intense and unyielding. “we’ve had enough interruptions today, don’t you think?”

and then, without hesitation, he kissed you.

the force of it sent a jolt through your body, his lips pressing against yours with a fervent hunger that left no room for doubt. it wasn’t soft like usual—it was demanding, like he’d been holding himself back all night and had finally given in. his hand remained on your chin, tilting your face toward him as he deepened the kiss, his other hand sliding to the back of your hand, pining it down to the worn down log.

your mind swirled, the rest of the world dissolving in the heat of his touch. his lips moved against yours with a rhythm that was both urgent and deliberate, his need for you evident in every motion. 

his kiss deepened, parting your lips, and his tongue slid in, tasting of the faint, tangy bitterness of the beer he’d just consumed. the flavor mingled with the heat of his mouth, intoxicating in a way that had nothing to do with the drink. his hands found your back, firm and steady, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you. the pressure of his lips against yours was urgent, almost desperate, as if he couldn’t get enough of you, and the sensation sent a shiver racing down your spine.

you kissed him back with equal fervor, your fingers threading through the soft strands of his hair, tugging just enough to make him groan softly against your mouth. the sound was low and raw, vibrating between you. your body molded into his, heat radiating from him in waves that seemed to melt away the cool night air.

another loud explosion cracked through the sky, the sound reverberating in your chest and pulling you from the haze of the kiss. reluctantly, you broke apart, your breaths coming in quick, shallow bursts. felix’s lips lingered on yours for a fraction of a second longer, like he wasn’t quite ready to let go. his eyes fluttered open, dark and heavy with desire, as you both turned your heads toward the sky.

above, a firework burst in a brilliant cascade of color, its reds and golds spreading out like veins of light against the dark canvas of the night. the shimmering display reflected faintly in felix’s eyes, adding to the glow that already seemed to emanate from him.

but as you stared in awe, felix leaned back slightly, his gaze fixed not on the fireworks but on you. “see?” he murmured. “it’s not that interesting.”

you turned your gaze back to him, your chest still heaving slightly from the kiss, and swallowed hard, the reality of what just happened settling over you. your lips tingled from the intensity, and the heat radiating from your cheeks was enough to rival the fireworks still bursting above you.

you blinked, trying to process it all—the way his lips had moved against yours, the way your hands had seemed to know exactly where to go, threading through his hair like you’d done it a thousand times before. but you hadn’t. this was the first time. a full-on make out.

how did you even know how to do that? where had that come from? your mind raced with questions, all of them tumbling over each other in a chaotic jumble. had it been good for him, too? no, scratch that—it had to have been good. you’d felt the way his body responded to yours, the way his lips had been so urgent, so eager, like he was drinking you in.

you glanced at him again, his face now lit softly by the remnants of the fireworks. his lips were still slightly swollen, a faint flush coloring his cheeks. his gaze met yours, warm and steady, with a hint of something unspoken simmering beneath the surface.

“are you okay?” he asked softly, his voice carrying that raspy edge you hadn’t noticed before tonight. it was a sound that made your stomach flip all over again.

you nodded, but your mind betrayed you, still looping on the same thought: how did i just do that?

“i—” you started, but your voice cracked, and you pressed your lips together, suddenly shy. you looked down, realizing your hands were still resting against his chest. you could feel the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath your fingertips, fast but strong, and that tiny reassurance made you brave enough to speak again. “it happened so fast…i don’t know how—.” you breath hitched as you couldn’t speak anymore.

he chuckled, low and warm, and the sound sent a pleasant hum through your chest. “you don’t have to know,” he said, his voice dropping just enough to make your heart stutter. “you just have to feel.”

you looked at him, your breath hitching as his words settled over you. he wasn’t wrong. in that moment, nothing had been overthought or planned—it had just happened. natural. instinctive. perfect.

and somehow, that made it even better.

felix tilted his head toward you, furrowing his eyebrows. “it’s getting hot by this fire, don’t you think?” he asked.

you blinked, caught off guard. “i mean… yeah, it is pretty warm,” you replied, fanning yourself awkwardly—though you weren’t entirely sure it was just the fire causing him to get so red.

felix huffed a breath and grabbed the bottom hem of his shirt, lifting it to wipe his forehead. the casual movement exposed a sliver of his toned stomach, and your eyes immediately fell towards it, your heart skipping a beat. goodness gracious.

“i might need another beer to cool off,” he said, his words slightly slurred as he tossed the shirt back down.

you nodded quickly, not trusting yourself to speak. your gaze flickered back to him, trying to act normal—whatever that meant in this situation. 

felix stood up, swaying slightly as he did. “come with me,” he said.

you stood up, and you followed him silently, wondering where this was going.

felix seemed a little unsteady on his feet, but his confidence never wavered. his steps were purposeful—until they weren’t. you saw it happen in slow motion.

“felix—” you started, noticing a guy standing in his path, holding a drink precariously close to his chest, but it was too late. before you could get the rest of your warning out, felix collided straight into him, sending the drink splashing down the front of the guy’s shirt.

“dude!” the guy exclaimed, holding his arms out in disbelief as the liquid soaked through his clothes.

felix blinked, then burst into laughter, the sound bright and unfiltered. “sorry, that’s—” he paused to catch his breath, still laughing. “that’s my bad, man.”

you cringed, stepping forward quickly. “why are you laughing? that’s not funny.” you said, with a serious tone. “so sorry by the way” you apologized to the guy.

but as you looked at felix, it hit you. this wasn’t felix—not the felix you knew, anyway. normally, he’d be mortified, apologizing profusely and trying to fix the situation. but right now, his laughter was carefree, almost careless. he was completely intoxicated. already?

you sighed, glancing at felix as he leaned heavily against you. maybe his tolerance is just really shitty, you thought, trying to rationalize how he’d gotten to this point so quickly. just as you were about to scold him again, you heard an all-too-familiar voice cutting through.

“how’s he holding up?” griffin’s voice was laced with amusement as he walked up to you both, his grin wide as he took in the scene. when his gaze landed on felix, his lips twitched, clearly trying to suppress a laugh.

felix attempted to sit up straighter, his eyes slightly unfocused but brimming with defiance. “i’m fine, griff,” he insisted, his voice slow and deliberate, as though he were concentrating hard on getting the words out. “100%. fine.”

you raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms as you watched felix’s obvious struggle to look composed. his usually smooth speech was stilted, his enunciation overly precise like he thought it would mask his tipsy state. it was clear he was trying to look tougher in front of the guy.

“really? because you don’t look fine,” you muttered under your breath, shaking your head. turning to griffin, you added, “he’s only had two drinks. i don’t understand why he’s like this already.”

griffin let out a low chuckle, glancing at felix before leaning slightly closer to you. “well,” he said with a smirk, “you should’ve known—these chinks can’t handle anything.”

you blinked, not fully processing griffin’s words at first. but as the weight of what he’d said sank in, your stomach twisted. you turned to him, your voice steady but laced with disbelief. “i’m sorry, what did you just call him?”

felix let out an unexpected laugh, the sound catching you completely off guard. it wasn’t his usual warm chuckle—it was light, careless, and entirely out of place. your stomach twisted, a mix of disbelief and anger bubbling up inside you.

griffin shifted uncomfortably but quickly masked it with a grin. “hey, calm down. i didn’t mean anything by it. you see, even your boy is laughing”

the casual dismissal from both of them made your blood boil. your feelings toward griffin shifted in an instant. just hours ago, he had seemed harmless, even likable. but now? how could he so casually toss around that word, as if it were nothing?

you took a step closer, your eyes blazing with anger. “no,” you said, your voice low but trembling with fury. “what the hell did you just say?”

griffin raised his hands, feigning innocence. “okay, calm down, dollface. i’m not blaming it all on his tolerance, alright? you know the beer couldn’t have been two percent. why the hell would it be here if it was? honestly, i’m surprised he didn’t notice when he drank it.”

felix, still swaying slightly but clearly trying to sound coherent, muttered, “it’s hard to tell, griffin. it didn’t taste that different…”

you turned to him sharply, your frustration boiling over. “you can shut up,” you snapped, the words leaving your mouth before you could stop them. your voice was harsher than you intended, but you were too angry to care.

felix blinked at you, startled, and he opened his mouth as if to say something, then seemed to think better of it, instead averting his gaze to the ground.

you turned back to griffin, your eyes narrowing. “you knew it wasn’t light, and you pressured him to drink,” you snapped, your voice sharp with anger and protectiveness. 

griffin shrugged, his indifference infuriating. “he would’ve done it regardless of how strong it was. looks like, you don’t know him enough. sydney’s not like the beach, dollface. this is just a bit of fun. no harm done.” he said, his tone dismissive. he even had the audacity to attempt a smile, though it fell flat against your glare.

“fun?” you repeated, your voice rising. “you call this fun?” your chest tightened with rage, your words spilling out before you could stop them. “i’ve only met you tonight, griffin, and i already know you’re a coward. it’s easy to stand there, acting like nothing matters, tossing around slurs and getting people drunk without their consent. but you know what? that’s not fun. that’s pathetic. and it says a hell of a lot more about you than it does about felix.”

griffin's face twisted into a sneer. "watch it," he warned.

"you watch it," you retorted, stepping closer.

the fire crackled beside you, casting long, flickering shadows over griffin's face. his eyes glinted with anger, the light reflecting off his sneer. the crowd around continued to chatter, seemingly completely unaware of the tension between you and griffin, besides a few. the distant sound of waves crashing against the shore seemed louder in the stillness, a stark contrast to the charged atmosphere. 

griffin’s sneer deepened, and in a swift motion, he raised a hand as if to make a point—or worse. instinctively, you flinched, squinting your eyes as your body braced for any impact. before anything could happen, a hand clamped down on griffin’s shoulder from behind.

"dude, stop it, you're so drunk!" his friend said, his voice firm, his grip tight on griffin's arm.

“i was just trying to scare her, relax,” griffin slurred, his tone defensive but far from apologetic.

felix stood up quickly, without stumbling, and grabbed griffin by the collar. his movements were now swift, fueled by an adrenaline rush, contrasting to his drowsiness. "don't touch her!" he yelled, his voice shaking with rage. the firelight cast sharp shadows across his face, highlighting the intensity in his eyes.

griffin struggled against felix's hold, his face contorted with anger and defiance. "get your hands off of me!" he snarled, his voice slurred yet still threatening.

felix gritted his teeth, pulling griffin closer, their faces inches apart. you could see the raw emotion in felix's eyes, a mix of fury and protectiveness. griffin's friends quickly stepped in, pulling the two apart. their expressions were a mix of concern and urgency, trying to defuse the situation before it escalated further. felix's chest heaved with anger, his eyes blazing with a fiery intensity that was hard to ignore.

“come on, felix. you look insane right now,” you said, your tone softer, but desperate. his eyes flicked toward you, the fury in them softening just slightly.

his breath was uneven, chest rising and falling rapidly, but he nodded, the tension in his jaw easing ever so slightly. without saying a word, you reached out, pulling him gently away from the crowd. you didn’t look back at griffin—couldn’t bring yourself to—but you heard his voice ring out from behind you, bitter and full of venom.

“yeah, walk away!” griffin shouted, his words laced with resentment. “chinks never belonged here anyway!”

a chill ran through you at his words, and you froze. your hands clenched into fists, but you didn’t turn around. some of the people around the bonfire had gone eerily silent at his words, the air thick with discomfort and tension. you imagined the faces of everyone who could hear it, all the people who could have been affected—felix, some of the teenagers at the bonfire, and even chris if he was here.

the fact that griffin, of all people, would throw out such a loaded term without a second thought was sickening. the thought of how casually he had tossed it out, with no respect or understanding for its weight, made your stomach turn.

you felt felix beside you, his hand on your back, his touch warm despite the storm of emotions swirling inside you. you finally took a deep breath, turning your head only slightly to look at him, the frustration and anger still simmering within you. he was still angry, his face tight, but there was a softness in his eyes that made you sigh in relief.

“we need to get out of here,” you muttered, your voice a little shaky from everything that had just happened.

felix's body remained tense as you continued to guide him away, his breathing gradually evening out. the sounds of laughter and music from the bonfire seemed distant and muted in comparison to the pounding of your heart.

the path away from the bonfire was dimly lit, the shadows of the trees casting eerie shapes on the ground. as you walked, the cool night air began to soothe your heated emotions.

you glanced over at felix, his jaw tight, his gaze fixed forward. he looked lost in thought, but there was something fragile about the way he walked, his posture not quite as solid as usual. he wasn’t the carefree, laughing felix you knew, and that made your chest ache.

just as you were about to open your mouth to say something, anything, you heard a voice call out behind you.

"hey, guys!"

you both turned, startled, to see the bagel girl from this morning hurrying toward you. her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, and she was wearing the same hoodie from earlier. you hadn’t even seen her at the bonfire, but now here she was, catching up to you with a concerned look on her face.

"are you two okay?" she asked, her voice soft but filled with genuine worry.

you blinked, the sudden intrusion snapping you out of the fog of anger and confusion. you hadn’t expected anyone to notice, let alone come looking for you.

felix stood a little straighter, but his expression was guarded, his eyes scanning her for a moment. “yeah,” he said slowly, though his voice lacked conviction. "we’re fine. just... needed to get away for a bit."

the girl shook her head, clearly still upset. “i’ve known griffin since grade 3,” she said, her voice growing more heated, “and he’s always been a jerk. i can’t believe he almost hit you, honey.” she grabbed your hands, her grip warm and reassuring. "are you sure you're okay?" she asked, her gaze searching yours for any sign of discomfort. you felt her concern washing over you, and something in your chest softened.

“yeah,” you said with a smile, though it was small, still shaken from the tension of the past few minutes. “i’m fine. just... everything happened so fast.”

she cooed softly, her eyes full of sympathy as she pulled you into a warm hug. "aw, sweetie. i’m so glad you’re okay. please, if you need anything, talk to me, alright? you know where i’ll be."

the embrace felt so genuine, and in that moment, you couldn’t help but feel a rush of affection for her. you smiled into her shoulder, feeling comforted by her warmth. “thank you, i love you.”

she pulled back just enough to look at you, her lips curling into a soft smile. "love you too," she said. “okay, good night. i’m gonna go talk to that dick. he’s gonna hear it from me.”

she gave you one last reassuring smile before walking off, her figure disappearing into the darkness as she made her way toward griffin. felix’s gaze lingered on her for a moment, but then he looked back at you, his face unreadable.

you both started walking again, the silence hanging heavy between you. finally, the weight of it was too much, and you couldn’t hold back any longer. “i still can’t believe that happened,” you muttered, your voice thick with frustration. “griffin is such a dick. i can’t believe he said that stuff. and lying to you about the beer? how can someone be so reckless and insensitive?”

you exhaled sharply, your mind spinning as the words poured out. “and being racist? seriously, who talks like that? he’s got no respect for anyone, no decency.” you shook your head, the anger still simmering beneath the surface.

as you looked over at felix, you realized he wasn’t paying attention. his gaze was distant, his expression almost blank, and it felt like you were talking to the air.

you stopped walking for a moment, taking a deep breath and forcing the frustration to settle in your chest. “nevermind,” you muttered, your voice quiet now. you fell into a heavy silence, your steps slow as you resumed walking beside him.

the only sounds were the crunch of your footsteps on the pavement and the distant murmur of the bonfire party, which felt so far away now. you didn’t know what was going on in felix’s head, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

“felix?” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper as you stopped and stood in front of him. his eyes, glossy and unfocused, met yours, and you felt an unexpected pang of concern.

he wiped at his eyes with a trembling hand, but it only made the tears smear across his cheeks. “i think i’m drunk,” he said, his voice quivering, the weight of his emotions slipping through the cracks of his carefully built exterior.

you tried to keep the situation light, offering a small smile as you nodded. “that’s highly possible,” you agreed gently, but the smile didn’t quite reach your eyes as you studied him. “but what’s wrong?”

felix took a shaky breath, his shoulders hunching slightly as if the weight of his own emotions was almost too much to bear. "chris always tells me i cry after i drink,” he said, his voice barely a whisper now, like it was something he hadn’t allowed himself to admit until just this moment.

"come here," you murmured, your voice gentle but firm, as you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him. his body was still trembling, and you could feel the vulnerability radiating from him in waves. it was such a contrast to the usual felix, the one who always seemed to hold everything together.

he hesitated for a moment, then spoke in a quiet, shaky voice, “is anyone watching?”

you pulled him in a little tighter, your fingers brushing over his back, trying to offer him some sense of comfort. “no one’s watching, felix,” you said softly, giving him a reassuring squeeze. it wasn’t that you were lying—it was the truth. the streets were empty, and the bonfire party felt miles away, a distant memory now.

you knew him better than anyone. you’d seen him cry before, and you knew how soft his heart was. it made sense that this was how his body was reacting to the alcohol.

“y/n…” his voice wavered, the words slipping out in a slow, slurred confession. “i love you. to the ends of this earth. i’m gonna marry you one day.”

you froze for a split second and you could tell from the way his words stumbled that this wasn’t a moment of clarity—it was the liquor talking.

you pulled back slightly, looking up at him. “not right now, felix.”

“no please,” he quivered, almost in a whine.

"we can talk about this tomorrow, okay?" you stopped and stood in front of him, putting your hands on his chest.

he nodded, his eyes earnest. "promise?" his fingers lightly touching your waist.

"i promise,"

[pixiefelixie]

𝐝𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞・b.c.

— incurable playboy turned doting boyfriend was a character development arc nobody saw coming for christopher bang, including (especially) his frat brothers.

words・2.8k pairing・frat president!chris x gn!reader genres・fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, college!au, fuckboy!chris, boys being boys, kissing, implied sex so mdni warnings・substance use, talk of past heartbreak

a/n・here is "nobody believes you're dating" w/chan, requested by none other than my @rachalixie for my 2k event !! anny, i hope u love this fic as much as i love u; thank you for allowing me to write something so self-indulgent <3

In the deafening throes of one of Phi Mu Alpha’s spring kickbacks, Minho finds Jeongin and Seungmin standing in motionless silence by the kitchen counter. Both boys are gaping at something with an intensity that dips egregiously into the realm of creepy. He moves to pour himself a shot.

“What the fuck are you people looking at?”

Seungmin prods a pointer finger in the relevant direction. It takes a few seconds of scanning the scene for Minho to find what he’s referring to. He digs a knuckle into his eye, instantly confused by what he’s seeing. Maybe the gaping is justified.

The windows and doors have all been thrown open to invite the balmy April weather into the foyer of the frathouse. There’s a large crowd of people huddled around a long, foldable table stationed before the stairs; Jaehyun clutches a ping-pong ball between his fingers, singular eye squinted shut as he takes aim. The number of remaining solo cups dwindles rapidly, as does the players’ sobriety.

Something—someone—is missing.

Not to say “beer pong virtuoso” was one of the reasons Chris was elected frat president, but you’d think the guy had a career path in basketball with how he’s given the entire Greek life community alcohol poisoning by courtesy of two or three plastic balls alone. Minho has never known him to miss a shot, let alone miss out on a game.

Today, however, the reigning champion is only spectating, seated above the ongoing match on one of the steps of the main staircase.

A beautiful stranger is sitting beside him, cheek pressed to his shoulder as you peer at the match through the bannister.

You say something inaudible. The laugh it earns from Chris is bright enough to pick up from a few streets down. He leans in to murmur something in return, and you slide your hand over his nape to pull his mouth onto yours, light blush crawling up and over your ears. The way Chris melts into you can only be described as familiar, his eyes slowly fluttering shut, finger hooking delicately beneath your chin, grin going lopsided as your lips part—

“That’s enough,” Minho hisses, tearing his eyes away with considerable effort. “Aren’t you ashamed? Just fucking ogling.”

Jeongin shakes his head, grinning. “It’s dinner and a show. We’d be idiots not to.”

By dinner, he must mean the gallon of chocolate milk he’s been drinking from for the last hour. He now holds out said gallon with the intent to cheers. Seungmin picks up the entire handle and does the same.

Minho sighs, clinks his glass against theirs, and they throw back their respective refreshments in unison.

“Anywho.” Jeongin swipes the back of his hand over his mouth before going on. “You guys know who that is?”

Minho resurfaces with a wince, relishing in the bitter aftermath, then motions for Seungmin to give the bottle back straightaway. He arrived to the function late and he’s not nearly as drunk as he’d like to be.

Seungmin obliges Minho only after another heady swig. “No clue. Probably just another fling, no?”

“Mmm,” Jeongin hums in assent. “It’s Chris we’re talking about, after all.”

"Agreed. Case closed.”

There’s an air of finality in Seungmin’s voice—but Minho isn’t so sure.

Perhaps because he has never noticed that Chris had dimples until now; or because you fold so naturally into Chris' side after your kiss ends, head nuzzling against the crook of his neck and hand seeking out his to hold in your lap; or, most likely, because Chris' eyes seem to return to you when he looks at you, as if his gaze drifting anywhere else is but a momentary departure from where it really belongs. As if he comes home every time you come into his line of vision.

Whatever the reason, the idea coalesces in Minho’s mind, even as inebriation begins to fall over his cognitive faculties like a curtain, that the boys have got it wrong.

Jeongin utters his name, jolting him out of his trance. There’s another shot lifted halfway to Minho’s lips that hasn’t budged in minutes. “Whatcha thinking about?”

Minho looks at Jeongin first, Seungmin next, then back at Chris and his stunning companion. He’s not inclined to answer the question in full, but he can in truth. A coy smile crosses his face.

“Threesome?”

Jeongin laughs hard enough to collapse onto the kitchen island. Seungmin drags a hand down his face. “Come on, man.”

In the corner of his eye, you’ve gone back to kissing again, slow and sweet and secretive. Chris' gentle hold on your jaw shields you from view but fails to hide his lovesick smile. Dimly, Minho thinks that maybe his friend has met his match.

Then, he takes four shots in rapid succession—and stops thinking altogether.

Christopher Bang’s love life is like a horror movie and romcom spliced together: a fiasco of a film to which his housemates have front row seats.

The frat’s upperclassmen live in sets of four-bed, two-bath suites comprising a small common space with a kitchen and a sitting area, sandwiched by bedrooms on either side. It is in that common space that Changbin, Hyunjin, and Jisung often see or hear Chris stumbling home after a night out, entangled with a different attractive stranger every time—so often, in fact, that they’ve come to believe that he’s deathly allergic to anything bigger than a one-and-done hookup.

They can’t judge. In part because they’d be throwing stones from glass houses, but also because the man’s penchant for empty physicality is far from unfounded. His past self gave pieces of his heart to the wrong people, contracted first-degree burns from the guileless warmth he sought out. Now, his version of “intimacy” is less a connotation of closeness than it is a self-contradiction, for it should be impossible for so much distance to remain between two people in a single bed.

Chris hasn’t vocalized any of this. Nor have his housemates discussed it with each other. The knowledge simply exists in the air between the four of them like something akin to taboo, dipping in and out of acknowledgement depending on the circumstance.

This might be the circumstance of all time.

At around 11:40 A.M. on a Saturday, three doors in the suite open at once. Hyunjin and Changbin aren’t coincidence—the latter is coercing the former to go to the gym again—but they lift their eyes to the opposite side of the living room, and the slice of milk bread dangling from Hyunjin’s lips very nearly takes a fatal fall. Changbin manages to snatch it up with an extended hand.

Chris has just emerged from his room as well. Your silhouette follows close behind, your mouth stretching into a yawn as you massage the sleep from your eyes. You’re sporting a mesh green sweater identical to one Chris owns. They find Chris' accessories more interesting than his clothes, though: two hickeys peeking out from beneath his jaw and the base of his neck.

Chris sees Hyunjin and Changbin right away, and his expression goes utterly blank, not unlike their faces as they watch you close his door meticulously. You turn around and gasp.

The four of you stare at each other for what feels like multiple business days. At least, Hyunjin, Changbin, and Chris stare at each other; your eyes dart between the men on the other side of the room and the man next to you, silently pleading for him to say something. He does not for a long while.

Then, he lunges for one of the throw pillows on the couch and flings it at Hyunjin like a shot put. It ricochets off his chest and lands on the floor rather anticlimactically.

“Distraction!” Chris yells anyways, grabbing your hand and tearing towards the exit, wild grin on his face. “Go, go, go!”

Your raucous laughter lingers even after you’ve been hauled away, accompanied by an unintelligible, breathless shout of something along the lines of my toothbrush—and then the front door clicks shut, and there are two.

Changbin and Hyunjin lock eyes, struggling to process what just happened. Hyunjin is the first to move, wandering hesitantly into the bathroom that Chris and Jisung share. Nothing about the place looks out of the ordinary.

“Well, shit,” Hyunjin says out loud.

That is, aside from the two toothbrushes slotted in the holder on Chris' side of the counter.

Something moves in the bathroom window, catching his attention. Hyunjin looks over just in time to spot you and Chris dart out onto the lawn two floors below. Chris has his arm draped over your shoulders, yours wrapped around his waist. Your smile is discernible all the way from here, and Hyunjin sees a perfect mirror of it on his friend’s face when Chris glances at the frathouse over his shoulder. 

Has he always had dimples?

Moments later, Changbin joins him in peering out the window. A high-pitched cackle erupts from the older boy’s lips. “Look at that idiot.”

Standing off to the left is a tiny, astonished Han Jisung, his arms full of groceries, jaw sitting squarely the grass and whites of his eyes on full display as he watches you and Chris stroll away.

Hyunjin laughs with his whole fucking body. Changbin whips out his phone and takes a picture.

When you finally breach the topic, it’s because you don’t think you can physically study for another minute—but also because, after multiple long months of fruitless sparring, your curiosity finally wins.

Your boyfriend is seated in your desk chair, feet kicked up onto your mattress with his laptop propped up on his thighs. His features have rearranged themselves into an expression of intense focus as he pores over his production homework. You can hear music blaring through his headphones from all the way here.

You uncross your legs from below you, scootch across your bed, and lift your hands to cradle his cheeks. He startles as if coming out of a trance, then begins to smile when he reads the words hi, Channie off your lips.

His headphones fall around his neck. He sets his laptop down onto your desk with a dull thunk. The next thing to drop is you when Chris seizes you by the waist and tackles you into the mattress. The somber atmosphere of your study session is shattered by your muted laughter and Chris pressing his lips to every inch of your exposed skin he can. He saves your mouth for last.

“Hey, beautiful,” he answers, but only after kissing the living daylights out of you, the syllables soft and silky with adoration. “Missed me?”

You drag your eyes from his brown irises with blown pupils to his sloping nose, from his disheveled dark locks to his cordate lips, so plush and warm against your own that you swear you still feel them there. You brush a hand over the back of his neck, your head now spinning so badly that you barely remember what you wanted to ask him.

“Always,” you say. “I was starting to feel jealous of your homework.”

He chuckles. “Shit, I’ll drop out of college right now, baby. Just say the word.”

“You’re perfect,” you hum.

“Says you,” he murmurs, nudging the tip of his nose against yours.

Your lips find each other’s again—needless to say, your study sessions aren’t known for their productivity. Some time passes before you come up for air. Even afterwards, Chris doesn’t let you go far, pulling you into his chest by the curve of your waist, nuzzling his cheek into your hairline. You only need to whisper for him to hear your question.

“Can I ask you something?”

“'Course,” he returns, and you’re close enough to sense him tighten with apprehension. “Everything okay?”

“Yes, don’t worry.” You print a kiss to the side of his neck for extra reassurance. “It’s just…I’ve been meaning to ask how your friends feel about me.”

He tightens with something else now: surprise, you’re guessing; you’re hoping. You hadn’t seriously considered that the answer could be negative, but it’s dawning on you now that the possibility of that isn’t zero.

“Where’s this coming from?” Chris inquires, his tone opaque.

You hesitate, mentally reviewing your interactions with your boyfriend’s social circle. Hyunjin and Jisung can’t make eye contact with you when they speak to you. Minho does nothing but make eye contact with you whether he’s speaking to you or not. Jeongin and Seungmin can maintain small talk for about ten seconds before they start looking like they’d rather be anywhere else. Changbin is the only one you’ve held a conversation with, and only because you were going up the same stairs at the same time and the alternative would have been mind-numbing silence.

What is the best way for you to say this?

“Well,” you begin, “I can’t help but notice that they act a little—when I’m around, they’re a bit, uh—”

“—crazy,” Chris offers. “Completely fucking bat-shit crazy.”

“Yes. Exactly that.”

Chris threads a hand through your hair, the comforting gesture doing nothing to assuage your worry. It seems there’s some truth behind your impressions. Your next words are tinged with a quiet sadness.

“I’m not imagining things, then?”

“No, angel,” he sighs. “But not for the reasons you think.”

A beat passes. Chris perceives your silence as a chance to backtrack, to opt out of this conversation if it’s one he’s not ready for. He would’ve leapt at the opportunity once.

But he realizes in that moment, with your voice gentle against his ears and your touch so doting upon his skin, how much has changed since he met you: from the color of the sky to the word home and everything in between, including his cynicism towards love and all the iterations of forever it holds. 

With that epiphany comes another, then another: he wants you to know why his friends are acting insane, wants you to know about him and his past and all the wounds of his you never know you healed, wants you to spend the rest of this forever with him.

His pointer finger dusts beneath your chin, a wordless request for you to look at him, and he nearly liquifies when you do and he finds entire constellations in your eyes. 

“It’s a lot,” he mumbles, though he suspects you know that already; he suspects you know about the other stuff, too. 

You bring your hand to the side of his face, bring your forehead to rest upon his. Your closeness washes over him like a low summer tide lapping over sandy shores, a soothing balm spreading over scorched flesh. 

“It’s you,” you breathe. “I will love it just the same.”

Chris' held breath comes out in shudders.

So this is warmth.

Minho and Felix are watching anime on the couch when a knock comes at their door, unfortunately during a pivotal moment of a pivotal episode. 

Minho hits pause with a ghastly groan. Felix laughs and rises to his feet, dashing into his room to grab the two silver necklaces he’ll be loaning out for the evening. “Coming!”

Outside, Chris is standing alone, hips and thighs accentuated by a pair of tight-fitting dress pants, sculpted chest and collarbones framed by a thin, cream-colored shirt with the top three buttons undone. Most of his hair has been pushed off his forehead, leaving a few locks free to fall over his right eyebrow. He’s rolling up his sleeves when Felix opens the door, veined forearms flexing as a result of the effort.

“Well?” He asks. Minho cranes his neck to look past Felix.

Both boys start to holler and whistle like excited macaques.

“What in the Calvin Klein is this?” Felix shouts, spinning Chris around by the shoulders. “You look insane, bro. Holy fuck.”

“What’s the occasion, young man?” Minho inadvertently sounds like a gruff uncle. “Where are you going dressed like that, huh?”

Chris' laugh comes easier nowadays. What’s more, it comes in a way that reaches the rest of him, that ends in a tiny, high squeak that you really have to look for in order to hear.

Felix and Minho can't help but replicate his smile. Those clothes look good on him, yes—but happiness looks better.

“You guys are silly,” Chris giggles. Dimples indent his cheeks as he accepts the necklaces from Felix. “Thanks, man. I’ll give ‘em back tomorrow.”

“No rush,” Felix replies, grinning. “Have fun, yeah?”

“We will.” Chris starts to retreat down the hallway, hands moving to clasp the jewelry around his neck, but not before he blows the both of them a kiss.

“Be back before ten!” Minho hollers; Chris laughs again, turns a corner, and disappears.

Felix closes the door. His smile falters fast. Minho has brought his face mere centimeters away, his expression thoroughly humorless.

“Tell me only the truth, Lee Yongbok,” he deadpans.

“O-okay—”

“Is Chris in a relationship?”

“—oh.” Felix frowns. “Well, yeah.”

Minho blanches. “How—how long?”

“One year, give or take? Anniversary’s today.”

Minho is stunned. Felix is stunned that Minho is stunned.

© 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐱 (est. 090323) · liked this work? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other writing here. thanks so much for the support ♡

[pixiefelixie]

𓆝..°°𓈒 ⋆ (필릭스) : REMEMBER THIS SUMMER "SUNDAY"

𓆉 °°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ synopsis felix is living the summer every teenager dreams of, with a perfect beach house on the east coast of australia and an even more perfect girlfriend. by taking the best of both worlds, felix invites her to experience the world he grew up in to make this the best summer ever. amidst bonfires, romantic sunsets, and seagulls, felix has one goal this summer: to finally tell her he loves her. with just one week to do so, felix is met with a challenge to make his feelings known before time runs out. 

pairing: nonidol!felix x fem!reader, series warnings: felix + reader are intended to be 17-18, established relationship, fluff, roughhousing (playfully) important notes: The content of this work is purely fictional and is not intended to endorse or encourage any behavior, especially among minors, that may be deemed inappropriate or unsafe. This story is created solely for entertainment purposes and should be understood as fiction.

heyaaa im so happy to finally post this first chapter! im currently craving summer so bad since i live in canada so hopefully this helps to mimic the feeling :( but in honor of it being officially summer in australia here's a fic! please take some time to read the series masterlist as well! enjoy!

next

chapter under the cut! ~5k words

sunday (day 1) - 6:00pm

“wake up, sleepyhead.” a deep voice broke through your dreams. a voice more familiar than your own heartbeat. in the midst of your slumber, a hand that belonged to said voice, gripped your arm and shook you vigorously. “i have something to show you.” the shaking became more insistent.

you groaned, consciousness slowly seeping back in as the world around you began to sharpen. you began to feel the material of the hammock beneath you and the gentle sway that earlier lulled you into deep sleep. but then, there was something else. a cold sensation, as if something was dripping on your neck and shoulders. you scrunched your face and slowly opened your eyes, blinking against the brightness.

as your eyelids fluttered open, leaning over you was your boyfriend, casting a shadow to block the evening sun from your face. this was the same boy you had known since middle school, back when he was a short, lanky kid with a smattering of freckles across his nose. now, here he was, grown out of puberty which made his features more defined but still holding that boyish charm you had fallen in love with. 

as much as you were happy to see him, he had woken you from a sleep so deep you wouldn't have been able to hear an atomic bomb if it had gone off. not to mention, you were in the middle of a dream—quite a scary one where a rabid, 20 foot bear was chasing you. you were half glad to be snapped out of that nightmare, but the other part of you was decidedly groggy.

“what do you want,” you mumbled with a rasp in your voice while rubbing your eyes to better your vision. then it all came together. your boyfriend, with his stupidly long wet hair, was towering over you. “felix.” you whined.

his face lit up with sudden realisation as he looked down at himself, noticing the trail of salt water he had been inadvertently dripping all over your shirt. “oh, sorry.” felix flashed you a bashful smile before turning away from you to dry his hair with the towel hanging around his neck.

you sighed heavily, reluctantly swinging your legs over the side of the hammock and feeling the hot sand beneath your feet. you took this moment to glance towards the ocean, where the sun was approaching its horizon, then you looked over at felix, who was scrunching his hair dry. water droplets clung to his newly tanned skin as he was probably out surfing beforehand. you had only arrived at the beach house a couple of hours ago and the first thing felix did after unpacking was drag you out to the shore to surf. while he eagerly plunged into the waves, you had opted to watch him from the hammock since you were far too tired after a 3 hour drive from sydney. 

once he was done with his hair, he hung the towel on the tree supporting your hammock and turned back to you with a smile. “you’ve been out for the past hour, sleepyhead,” he teased.

“you really didn’t have to wake me up,” you retorted, looking up at him.

felix chuckled, shaking his head. “it’s already 6:00 pm. you wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight if you took such a long nap,” he said, his tone gentle.

you sighed, knowing he was probably right. "fine," you conceded, standing up and stretching your arms. "what’s this amazing thing you need to show me?”

oh how he loved that question.

“remember that seagull’s nest we saw while i was giving you a tour around the house?” he asked with that mischievous smile you knew far too well.

“yes?” you replied, raising an eyebrow and extending the word sceptically.

“i think i saw some eggs in there,” he said, his eyes wide with excitement.

“really?” you exclaimed, your eyes widening and your lips curving into a smile.

“i’m certain,” he replied, taking your hand. “come on!”

you stood up from the hammock, which let out a soft squeak in protest. slipping on your sandals, you slid your arm under his and locked them together. you smiled up at him, and he chuckled at your reaction. your friends back in school often told you that you and felix were children snuck in a teenager’s body. there were often times where you two would get excited or laugh over the littlest things.

“so now you’re all jolly,” he teased. “a few seconds ago you looked like you wanted me dead for waking you up from your beauty sleep.”

you gazed upward in thought before speaking, “well that was until you mentioned the seagulls.”

felix scoffed and shook his head, a playful smirk on his lips, before reaching up to ruffle your hair. you and felix continued to chat about random things as you walked, the sky gradually darkened with each passing minute. as you neared the beach house, felix glanced up at the roof. his eyes sparkled with curiosity, the fading light casting soft shadows across his face.

“i’m sure you won’t be able to see it well from here. let me give you a lift,” he said. 

you opened your mouth to protest, but before you could get a word out, felix was already crouching down in front of you. did he really expect you to sit on his shoulders? the last time you tried something like this, it was in the school hallway, and it ended with both of you making a not-so-graceful visit to the nurse's office. 

“are you serious?” you asked, incredulous, remembering the chaos of that day. “you’re not gonna ram me into something again, are you?”

felix just grinned down at you, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “come on, that was one time. what’s the worst that could happen right now?” he teased. with a dramatic sigh and a roll of your eyes, you carefully climbed onto his shoulders, letting out a yelp as he stood up, lifting you high into the air. “i got you,” felix reassured you with hands firmly holding onto your legs as you rested your hands on his head, feeling his soft blond locks between your fingers.

you gently pushed on your boyfriend’s head to steady yourself and extend your view, peering over the edge of the roof. there, nestled in the corner, was a nest. however, it wasn’t the typical bowl-shaped nest you remembered from childhood cartoons; instead, it was a haphazard construction of twigs and branches. 

then, you saw them—three large, spotted eggs nestled snugly in the centre of the nest. your breath caught in your throat at the sight.

“do you see them?” felix asked, moving closer to the roof so you could get a better view.

“yeah! they’re quite big!” you exclaimed. “how did you even know they were here? you’re surely not very tall,” you teased with a grin.

“i will drop you,” he threatened in a half-serious tone.

“you wouldn't dare,” you lectured.

“i saw a seagull nesting here earlier,” he replied, addressing the real question.

“hold on,” you said, fishing out your tiny digital camera from the pocket of your jean shorts. your mom had owned that camera since before you were born, and it took the nicest pictures. you already carried it around with you everywhere. it was part of the reason you always chose to wear pants with pockets in the mornings. you snapped a picture of the eggs and handed the camera to felix, knowing he was just as eager to see.

“wow, look at that!” he said, chuckling as he admired the photo.

“we’ve got to name them,” you declared suddenly.

felix raised an eyebrow. “name the eggs?”

“of course! they can’t just be nameless.”

felix laughed, shaking his head. “alright, what are we naming them?”

you looked at the eggs thoughtfully. “how about alvin, simon, and theodore? trust me, i can remember which one is which,”

suddenly, in the blink of an eye, a seagull glided by right beside you, slicing through the air with a loud squawk. its wing grazed your arm as it flew so close that your heart leapt in surprise. startled, felix lost his balance, and both of you tumbled to the ground with a soft thud, cushioned by the sand. you swore you could see the concern washed over felix’s face.

“are you okay?” he asked immediately, his voice filled with worry.

in the moment, you couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. “yeah, are you?” you replied between giggles.

he broke into a smile and nodded, then glanced over at the seagull, which had settled protectively over her eggs. “i know you’re a good mom,” felix remarked, “but we,” he pointed between the two of you, “we come in peace!”

just then, your ears perked up at the creak of the back door opening and both your heads turned simultaneously toward the sound. you saw a sandal step onto the deck, followed by another. it was felix’s mom, flashing a big smile and wearing a beautiful blue floral dress that flowed gracefully like waves rippling on a serene lake, catching the light of the evening sun.

“hey, lovebirds!” she called out with a warm smile, her voice carrying the kind of pitch that made you feel instantly at home. “what are you two up to?”

“just making friends with the local wildlife,” he joked, then grinned and motioned toward the seagull on the roof with a nod of his head. his mom looked where he pointed and sighed. felix chuckled, standing up and brushing his hands together before extending one to you. 

“that seagull has eggs in her nest!” you exclaimed, your eyes wide with excitement. you turned to felix’s mom, practically bouncing like a little girl. “isn’t that amazing?”

felix chuckled at your enthusiasm, and his mom cooed, her eyes softening with affection. “that’s wonderful. well come eat, darling, felix's dad is making dinner.”

he helped you to your feet, and together you walked toward the beach house. as you approached, the aroma of grilled food wafted through the air, seasoned with a mix of mouth watering herbs and spices. stepping inside, you were greeted by the cool, refreshing breeze of air conditioning which was a delightful contrast to the heat outside.

felix’s beach house was gorgeous. large windows let the last rays of sunlight stream in, casting a warm glow over the room. the wooden ceiling and numerous plants added a rustic charm, making the place feel incredibly inviting. you slipped off your sandals, feeling the coolness of the floor beneath your feet. with felix still holding your hand, you made your way to the dining room table and both sat down beside each other.

the scents from the kitchen mingled in the air—the smoky tang of the grill, the rich aroma of seasoned vegetables, and the faint sweetness of something baking. 

a few moments later, his mother joined you, carrying a bowl of fresh berries. "here you go," she said with a warm smile, setting the bowl down. "dinner will be ready in just a minute."

“thank you,” you replied.

“thanks, mum,” felix added, taking a strawberry from the bowl. he held it to your mouth, and you opened up, taking it with a playful smile. you felt the moist water from the freshly washed fruit on your lip as you gently parted them, felix’s finger lightly brushing against your mouth. 

his mother, however, seemed preoccupied with something else. her gaze shifted to the floor, and her brows furrowed. “felix, you have to stop bringing sand into the house. it’s very unclean,” she scolded gently.

felix followed her gaze, looking down sheepishly at the trail of sand he had inadvertently tracked in from the beach. his face flushed slightly. “sorry,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. “i’ll clean it up.”

his mother sighed, her features softening into a smile. “it’s fine, just try to be more careful next time,” she said, her tone more forgiving. she glanced at the bowl of fruit and then back at you and felix, “now, enjoy the fruit. dinner will be ready soon.”

his mother then stood up and headed to the kitchen where her husband was. felix grabbed two blueberries and popped them into his mouth before pulling out his phone, clicking on his browser app.

"whatcha looking up?" you asked, curious.

"just checking something," he said, typing. the search bar read, how long does it take for seagull eggs to hatch? "up to three weeks?!" he read aloud. "you’re only staying for another week. what if they don’t hatch by the time you’re gone?"

you shrugged, having no solution up your sleeve, "i guess you’ll just have to send me pictures."

"but i can't reach my phone up there. who am i gonna carry on my back when you're not here?" felix pouted, his lips curling into a slight frown as he glanced out the window where the seagulls often flew by.

"i'm sure you have a perfectly sturdy ladder in the garage," you replied.

felix shook his head, his expression turning serious. "i'm scared of ladders," he confessed, his eyes wide with genuine concern. the room seemed to grow quieter as he spoke, his voice breaking the stillness.

you burst out laughing, the sound echoing off the walls. "really?" you asked.

he nodded solemnly, the seriousness of his face contrasting with your laughter. "yep. i’m much more comfortable with you on my shoulders," he said.

"well, i guess you'll have to face your fears or find another way," you teased back, a mischievous glint in your eye. "maybe you can make a deal with the mama."

felix laughed, the sound warm and infectious. "yeah, i'll negotiate with her. she could let me borrow her babies for a quick photo op."

you chuckled at the thought. "after she literally made us tumble over each other today," you reminded him, recalling the earlier incident with said seagull.

his eyes suddenly widened, as if a bright lightbulb had illuminated over his head. “you know, we could build a pulley system with a basket. you get in the basket, and i pull you up to the roof so you can install one of my old security cameras.”

you gave him a sceptical look, the idea sounding ridiculous. “felix, that sounds like something out of a cartoon. how about this? we train a squirrel to climb up there and take the pictures for us.”

felix laughed again, the sound blending with the gentle hum of the ceiling fan above. “and you say i sound like a cartoon?”

“okay, what else then?" you prompted.

"what if i just get a selfie stick?” he suggested, winking with a spark in his eyes.

“that’s actually not a bad idea,” you said, considering it. 

felix grinned, clearly pleased with himself. “see? i'm coming up with some solid plans here.”

"maybe you are," you admitted, giving him a playful nudge with your shoulder.

then, from the kitchen, his father's voice called out, "dinner's ready!"

sunday (day 1) - 9:00pm

you were washing the last of the dishes, the gentle hum of the evening settling around you. the soft clinking of plates and the distant sound of waves created a soothing background melody. felix stood next to you, his hands drying and stacking the clean dishes. as you glanced out the window, the vibrant hues of the setting sun caught your eye. the sky was a stunning canvas of oranges, pinks, and purples, each colour blending seamlessly into the next. it was one of those moments that felt almost magical, as if the universe had painted the sky just for you.

“look, felix! the sunset!” you exclaimed, your voice filled with awe.

felix turned his head, his eyes widening at the sight of the breathtaking sunset. the golden light bathed his face, casting a warm, ethereal glow that seemed to accentuate every detail of his features. you found yourself staring, mesmerised by how the sunlight danced on his skin, highlighting the sharp contours of his jawline and the subtle curve of his lips. the light caught in his eyes, making them sparkle with a deep, captivating intensity that seemed to draw you in.

“it’s beautiful.” he smiled softly, his voice a deep rumble that broke through your daze. 

you realised you had been staring too long, caught up in the mesmerising sight of him bathed in the sunset's golden light. quickly, you looked away, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks. you cleared your throat, trying to regain your composure. “we should go outside. are you done?”

felix glanced at the dishes, then back at you. “yeah,” he replied instantly, drying the last spoon with a flourish before placing it neatly on the rack. 

you grabbed his wrist, your excitement bubbling over. “come on, let’s go!” you urged with a small squeal. felix chuckled, allowing himself to be pulled along as you both slipped on your shoes by the back door. the moment your feet hit the cool wood of the porch, the chilly evening breeze kissed your skin, carrying the fresh scent of sea.

as you stepped outside, the beauty of the scene before you took your breath away. felix stood beside you, his presence warm and comforting. you glanced at him, catching the awe in his eyes as he took in the breathtaking view. the fading light outlined his silhouette, making him look almost otherworldly in the twilight glow.

“race you to the shore!” you burst out suddenly. without another word, you sprinted down the wooden steps of the porch, your bare feet hitting the cool sand as you made a beeline for the beach. your laughter rang out, mixing with the soothing sound of the waves crashing against the shore. the sand was soft beneath your feet, each step feeling like gentle feathers as you ran.

felix wasn’t far behind, his footsteps quick and sure as you could hear him closing the gap. just as you reached the firmer, wet sand near the water’s edge, felix caught up. with a swift motion, he wrapped his strong arms around your waist, lifting you off the ground. you let out a loud squeal, your heart racing with excitement and happiness.

he spun you around, the world becoming a blur of colours—orange, pink, purple, and blue—as the sky and ocean seemed to merge into one stunning panorama. the cool breeze whipped through your hair, and you could feel the warmth of felix’s hands on your sides, grounding you in the moment. when he set you down gently on the sand, your legs felt like jelly from the sprinting.

breathing heavily, you both collapsed onto the sand, sitting side by side, facing the horizon. the sky was a masterpiece, with deep purples and rich blues blending seamlessly with the fiery oranges and soft pinks of the sunset. the water mirrored this stunning array of colours, creating a dazzling display that seemed to stretch infinitely before you. the waves glowed with the reflected light, each crest catching a hint of the vibrant sky, creating a dance of colours on the water's surface.

the air was cool and crisp, filled with the salty tang of the sea and the earthy scent of the sand. the distant call of seagulls and the soft whisper of the wind were the only sounds, adding to the serene atmosphere. 

“this is perfect,” you whispered, leaning against felix. his warmth was comforting as he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer, the faint scent of his cologne lingering.

“yeah,” he agreed, his voice soft. “it really is.”

as you both sat in comfortable silence, the world seemed to pause for a moment. the gentle waves lapping at the shore and the soft rustling of leaves in the breeze were the only sounds, creating a peaceful lullaby that surrounded you. in the distance, a group of seagulls caught your eye. their silhouettes were stark against the colourful sky, their graceful flight patterns mesmerising as they dipped and dove over the calm water.

a mischievous grin spread across your face as you turned your gaze to felix. “which one do you think knocked up the seagull?” you asked, barely able to keep a straight face.

felix's eyes widened in horror. “oh my gosh, you freak!” he exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief while laughing. “you can't just say things like that!”

you laughed along with him, the sound echoing across the quiet beach. “you know for a fact that you're even worse than me,” you teased, nudging him playfully with your shoulder. 

"you know, i still can't believe we have the house to ourselves for a whole week," felix murmured, his voice a low, warm rumble that made your heart skip a beat. the reality of being alone together, with no one else around, felt surreal.

"me neither," you replied, your voice barely a whisper. felix chuckled softly, the sound resonating through your chest and making you feel a pleasant warmth spread from your heart. "what?" you asked, a smile tugging at your lips as you looked up into his eyes. they were sparkling with mischief, a clear sign that he was thinking about something unorthodox.

"nothing," he said, shaking his head, his smile widening. you knew exactly what he was thinking about.

"oh my gosh, felix, stop it," you groaned, rolling your eyes. the things he could come up with were always so unexpected, yet so typical of him.

he laughed harder. "i didn't say anything!" he protested, grinning from ear to ear.

"you're such a freak," you teased, playfully pushing him in the chest. the contact was light, your fingers brushing against his soft skin, but it felt like an electric current passing between you.

felix pushed back gently, his touch light and teasing. "you're the one thinking weird things. you made the seagull joke too. i never said anything!" his grin was infectious, and you found yourself laughing along with him.

shaking your head, you couldn't help but smile. "i can't believe your parents are trusting you with the house for a whole week," you said.

felix placed his hand on his chest in mock offence, his expression exaggerated. "hey!" he exclaimed. "i'll have you know i'm very responsible. plus," he added, leaning in closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, "i've got to make sure you have the best time ever."

his parents were leaving the next evening to visit new zealand for the summer. they decided to stay at the beach house for a day before their departure because it was conveniently close to the airport. his parents were going abroad for a week to attend a friend's wedding in thailand, initially leaving felix alone until he decided to invite you. it was special to him that you were here, sharing this beloved part of his life as it gave him a chance to create new memories with a girl that meant so much to him.

felix threw his head back, eyes lighting up as he gazed at the night sky, dotted with countless stars. "there's so much i want to show you," he said. the beach was like his second home, a place where he had spent every summer since he was born. this place was filled with memories of salty breezes, endless days under the sun, and nights spent stargazing. for felix, this beach house wasn't just a summer retreat; it was a treasure trove of cherished moments.

you smiled and squeezed his hand. "and i can't wait to see everything," you replied.

he squeezed your hand back, a broad smile spreading across his face. "you're going to love it," he promised. "there's this hidden cove i found last year, and we have to watch the sunset from the cliff. it's the best view in the world." his eyes sparkled with the same wonder and awe he must have felt when he first discovered these places. "oh, and we can go paddleboarding! the water is so clear, you can see all the way to the bottom!"

"wow, you really have everything planned out, huh?" you teased, raising an eyebrow. "it's like you're my personal tour guide or something."

felix paused, a slightly sheepish look crossing his face. he scratched the back of his head, a small, nervous laugh escaping his lips. "well, i guess i am," he admitted, looking down for a moment before meeting your gaze. "i just... i really want this week to be special. you mean a lot to me. it's not every day i get to show someone my secret spots," he said, a playful glint returning to his eyes.

“you’re such a sap.”

“only for you,” he replied, his tone as light as a feather.

you then found yourself gazing into his eyes, losing yourself in the depths of the beautiful brown shade. the rich, warm colour was captivating, reflecting the soft glow of the fading sunset. his eyes seemed to hold an entire world of emotion, and in that moment, you felt like you could see into his soul. your eyes trailed down to his lips, noticing how soft and inviting they looked. he shuddered slightly under your gaze, his breath hitching as he felt the intensity of your stare. his eyes flickered to your lips as well, and then back to your eyes, silently seeking permission. when he saw that your eyes remained locked onto his lips, without another word, he leaned in, closing the distance between you.

as your lips touched, a gentle breeze swept over you both, carrying the salty scent of the ocean and the faint fragrance of blooming flowers from the nearby dunes. the cool air contrasted sharply with the warmth radiating from felix's skin, sending a shiver down his spine and giving him goosebumps over his bare torso. the sensation of his warm skin under your fingers was electrifying, sending a tingle through your body. 

you pulled away slightly, resting your forehead against his, feeling his breath mingle with yours in the small space between you. felix smiled softly, his eyes full of tenderness, before leaning in to kiss you again. this time, the kiss was deeper, more intense, and his hand reached up to cup your face as if you were the most fragile and precious thing on earth. his thumb gently caressed your cheek, the touch so light and tender that it sent a thrill through you.

you couldn't help but bring your own hand up to tangle in his hair, the soft strands slipping through your fingers like silk. the sensation was soothing, grounding you in the moment. as you pressed closer, the warmth of his body against yours felt comforting and exhilarating all at once. in a playful move, you pushed felix back onto the sand which made him let out a surprised "oof,"

climbing on top of him, your bodies fit together perfectly, as if they were made for each other. you continued to kiss him, your lips moving in sync. felix brought his hands up to your face, sending a shiver through you, his touch both gentle and possessive. 

just then, a loud squawk from the seagulls broke the spell. the birds, perhaps sensing the intimate moment, seemed to call out in a raucous chorus, as if interrupting the two of you. you couldn't help but stop and giggle, the sound bubbling up from deep within you. felix's eyes softened, gazing at you with pure love. at that moment, he swore you were the most precious thing in the world. the way your laughter lit up your face, the crinkle of your eyes, and that adorable squeak—it all made you you. 

“you're so cute," he blurted.

surprised by his words, you looked at him with raised eyebrows. "where did that come from?" you asked, a smile playing on your lips. your laughter had left a soft flush on your cheeks, making you look even more radiant in the fading light.

felix's eyes softened, gazing at you with pure love. he blushed, a bashful smile spreading across his face as he buried it in the crook of your neck, trying to hide his embarrassment.

you looked down at him, confused. "felix, what are you doing?"

he pulled back slightly, meeting your gaze again. "i don’t know i just—i think i..." he began but didn't finish. the words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken emotion. he wanted to tell you how deeply he felt, how much you meant to him. he wanted to say it, but those three short words got caught in his throat.

"you what?" you prompted gently, your eyes searching his.

felix hesitated, his lips parting slightly as if trying to find the right words. but instead of speaking, he leaned in and kissed you again. you laughed softly against his mouth, your hands resting on his chest and as you pulled away, a mischievous glint danced in your eyes. felix looked at you with curiosity, propping himself up on his forearms as you climbed off him. "where are you going?" he asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

without a word, you began to take off a layer of clothing, tossing it onto the sand until you were left in your bikini, letting the cool evening breeze brushed against your skin. "come on!" you called out, dashing toward the water, the sand cool and soft under your feet.

felix's eyes widened in surprise before a grin spread across his face. he quickly scrambled to his feet and chased after you, swiftly pulling his hoodie off. the water was warm, heated by the day's sun and retaining its gentle warmth even as night fell. 

felix reached you just as you splashed him playfully, the water catching the light from the moon and the stars above, casting a shimmering glow around you. he laughed, wiping the water from his face. with a quick move, he scooped you up in a bridal style carry, his strong arms holding you securely against his chest.

you squealed as he threw you into the water, the water enveloping you completely and you were submerged. for a moment, everything around you was muffled and you could taste the salt water you accidentally swallowed.

"felix, ow," you hissed as you came back up, brushing your hair out of your face, water droplets clinging to your skin as you held your arm.

panic flashed across his face, his eyes widening as he waded towards you. "oh my goodness, are you okay?" he asked, concern lacing his voice. 

unable to hold back your smile any longer, you lunged at him, causing him to lose his balance. you both tumbled into the warm water with a big splash. felix surfaced, shaking his head and laughing as he realised you had been faking. 

"oh, you are so done!" he exclaimed, grabbing you around the waist and pulling you into him. you both fell again and created a huge splash in the water, your laughter echoing in the nighttime air.

[pixiefelixie]

𓆝..°°𓈒 ⋆ (필릭스) : REMEMBER THIS SUMMER SERIES MASTERLIST

𓆉 °°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ synopsis felix is living the summer every teenager dreams of, with a perfect beach house on the east coast of australia and an even more perfect girlfriend. by taking the best of both worlds, felix invites her to experience the world he grew up in to make this the best summer ever. amidst bonfires, romantic sunsets, and seagulls, felix has one goal this summer: to finally tell her he loves her. with just one week to do so, felix is met with a challenge to make his feelings known before time runs out. 

pairing: nonidol!felix x fem!reader, series warnings: felix + reader are intended to be 17-18, established relationship, fluff, suggestive themes! (under 15 dni), for some of the chapters mdni! i will specify when i post it so you can just skip over the chapter, underaged drinking, first times yoohoo, specific warnings are under each individual chapter (around 5k-10k words each) important notes: The content of this work is purely fictional and is not intended to endorse or encourage any behavior, especially among minors, that may be deemed inappropriate or unsafe. This story is created solely for entertainment purposes and should be understood as fiction. status: ongoing

heeeeello! i'm so happy to be back especially since this fall has been hectic with school. i've been working on many many new things since i last posted but this was one of my biiiig projects. i am thrilled to announce that the start of my first ever series has come out! i enjoy writing this so much so stay tuned to get updates very often! lemme know if you would like to be tagged

chapters under the cut!

CHAPTERS (~10k words each)

sunday

monday

tuesday

wednesday

thursday

friday (nsfw!!)

saturday

summer day

[pixiefelixie]

menace!boyfriend k.sm. (a much needed headcanon)

: ̗̀➛ pairing — seungmin x gn!reader : ̗̀➛ word count — 530 : ̗̀➛ content — fluff, seungmin acting like everyone's annoying little brother

a/n — these pictures of kim seungmin killed me. who told him to look this good with a bowl cut???? i hope you guys enjoyed this!!

menace!seungmin who was definitely your friend before becoming your boyfriend.

menace!seungmin who suddenly yells "boo!" and grabs your shoulders to scare you during the quietest scene of a horror movie. if you screamed, he would laugh his heart out and you promise yourself to never watch a horror movie with him ever again.

menace!seungmin who would definitely act the silliest while you're drinking water to purposefully make you laugh while your mouth is FULL and dodge when you spray it out of your mouth and nose

menace!seungmin who brings food to your mouth like a gentlemen but then shoves it into his own mouth

menace!seungmin who throws a snowball at you in the winter and has it go down your back. but then on that same evening, he would hug you in bed with the heat of his body warming you up as if he didn't just freeze your butt off earlier.

menace!seungmin who refuses to ask you directly when he wants to see you so he "forgets" stuff at your house so he can go over to get it

menace!seungmin who walks in on you in the bathroom and starts a casual conversation like you aren't sitting on the toilet.

menace!seungmin who will never make a normal entrance whenever you've got a date planned. he told you to meet him in front of the movie theatre? he'll jump out of the corner to surprise attack you when you're there. he told you he'd pick you up? he's hiding beside the door when you open it, waiting to jump at you. if you dated him in high school, he'd definitely be the type of guy to cover your eyes and say "guess who?"

when you two are at dinner alone or with a group of people like your family, menace!seungmin will always put his foot on yours under the table and not let you go

menace!seungmin who will flick his wet hands at you while walking out of the bathroom to annoy you and he got you to do it to him every time as well

menace!seungmin who has you becoming a mini-version of him. you'd adopt his vocabulary and attitude so you joke about how he's being a bad influence on you.

menace!seungmin who is obsessed with kissing your hands. if you have your hand in his, he'll bring it up to his lips with any chance he gets. before crossing the road, waiting for the street food to be ready, going up in the elevator, you name it. sometimes if he's feeling silly he'll bite your hand while he's at it.

menace!seungmin who can't look into your eyes for too long or else he'll fold so he always ruffles your hair or gently pushes your head away if he ever feels like the eye contact is becoming too much. you don't know this so you just assume he likes to make your hair messy.

menace!seungmin who's love language is being annoying but if he ever catches anyone else doing it to you, he'll fight their ass

menace!seungmin who loves you to the ends of the earth and will never fail to show you in his own ways