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staytheword · 2 years ago

Text

on my mind

on my mind — one shot request by anon [ masterlist ]

• han jisung x female reader.

• non idol au. roommates to lovers. mutual pining. drinking, mention of weed consumption, explicit language, explicit smut.

• smut warnings (spoilers ahead) — porn watching. handjob. oral sex (m receiving). thigh riding. fingering. use of "baby" pet name. protected sex.

• word count: 8.6k

You and Jisung are stressed over your upcoming exams. You need to clear your heads, but you can't find anything that works. That is, until Jisung suggests watching porn together.

• the prompt was friends "using" each other to take the stress out... I hope this will fill your expectations!! ♡

You slam your book closed, an annoyed sigh escaping your lips.

You can’t do this anymore.

You’ve been studying for hours. In fact, you’ve been studying for weeks preparing for those exams. Your eyes are about to melt, your body aching to move from your chair, your brain desperately seeking distraction. You’re sick of this. Sick of stressing yourself out, sick of only allowing yourself to think about what is in these books. The exams are still several days away and you’ll have time to fall back into your anxiety - for now, you deserve a break and you are going to take it.

Or you’re going to try.

It’s not the first time you tell yourself that - take a break, you deserve it. You close your books and computer, full of resolve, and escape the confines of your room. Each time you end up just pacing the apartment, unable to focus on the movie you’ve put on or the game you’ve started. Once you made it outside for a walk, but you had no idea where to go and ended up walking in circles. Your brain is so preoccupied with your exams you can’t do much else. You wake up and it’s all you think about - and before you know it you collapse on the bed, exhausted.

As you hear someone knock on your door, you blink and realize you’ve been phasing out. You shake your head, slide a hand through your hair - it has gotten too long in the past few weeks - and clear your throat.

“Come in,” you say, your voice a little rusty.

Jisung pokes his head in from behind the door. “Hey. You hungry?”

At least you are not alone. Jisung is going through the same thing as you, so you promised each other to do what is necessary to stay sane. Remind the other to eat, for instance, and then eat the meals together, even if it is in complete silence. You’re also very open about your stress, and you force each other to go out or clear your head. If he wasn’t here, you have no idea how you would get through this.

You hadn’t been sure about becoming Jisung’s roommate at the beginning of the year, but you didn’t regret your decision at all. Some of your friends had raised an eyebrow at you rooming up with a guy, but you trusted Jisung. You resembled each other in a few ways, but were different enough to keep the other on their toes. He was honest, hardworking, but also funny and open-minded. He bought your favorite snacks at the grocery store. He listened to you talk about your difficulties with building your thesis statements. He read your essay drafts and made useful feedback. He made fantastic homemade pizza. He was the best at impressions. He liked to braid your hair. Once he even restacked the pads when you were running low - that day you almost fell in love with him.

Almost.

You just had a stupid crush. Who wouldn’t? Jisung was not only kind and attentive, he was also incredibly handsome. Wavy dark hair that shone in the sun. A heart shaped smile that grew so big it swallowed your entire soul. Golden skin that was soft to the touch - you knew from applying a mask on him once. Wide shoulders, a lean and athletic body. You saw him do push ups in his room sometimes, or using the stationary bike you had in the living room. He wiped the sweat off his brow and gave you a smile, nodding his head to the beat of whatever song played in his headphones.

But Jisung was your friend, first and foremost. Right now, and up until your exams, he was also your ally, your lifeline. You remember, a few weeks back, when you both sat down in front of a bowl of soup and intertwined your pinkies.

We get through this together, you said.

Together, he repeated, his eyes deeply set in yours.

Now he smiled gently at you, his mouth a thin line, his eyes wide open but red and glassy from exhaustion.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “I can cook something, if you want.”

“That’s ok, I got you,” he smiles. “Why don’t you rest? I’ll get you when it’s ready.”

You feel something tug at your heartstrings. “Thanks, Ji.”

With the sweetest smile, he gives you a little nod and disappears, carefully closing the door behind him. You breathe out in the silence, glancing back at your books. You could study a little while Jisung gets the food ready, but you are tempted to listen to him and lie down. A few minutes with your eyes closed couldn’t hurt.

You drag your feet to your bed, which is luckily not very far, and make the mistake of going under the covers. Your sheets are soft, your comforter heavy. The dim light in your room and the muffled noises of Jisung getting busy in the kitchen are so soothing you slip away quickly.

You wake up to a hand gently stirring you - you sit up in a jolt, blinking confusingly.

“Shit, what time is it?”

It feels like it’s been seconds and years. It’s definitely darker now, and your eyes are puffy with sleep, your skin a little tingly. You recognize Jisung’s silhouette in the darkness as he chuckles.

“I’m sorry to wake you up,” he whispers. “But you need to eat. Then you can go back to sleep, yeah?”

“R-right. Yeah. Okay.”

You throw open the covers and get out of bed, not even thinking about the fact that your hair must be a complete mess and your cheeks puffy with sleep. Jisung has seen you in worse states, anyway. You grab a hoodie as you follow him out of your room, one of your socks half slipped out from your foot.

“It smells really good, Ji,” you comment as you head to the kitchen.

He turns his head back to you with a smile. He’s wearing a red crewneck, gray sweatpants, and his slippers. You haven’t seen him out of such outfits recently, except for a few nights when he got dressed to go somewhere, but even then his style is always baggy. It’s for this reason you will never forget the one time he got dressed up for a date and wore a tighter shirt. That and the number of times you’ve seen him shirtless, of course. But that’s a whole other issue.

“It’s nothing fancy,” he says, gesturing to you to sit down at the kitchen island.

There is an actual table in the dining area, more than large enough for the both of you, but you rarely sit down there to eat. It usually serves as a storage area for random things like folded laundry, groceries, board games or books. Both of you prefer the kitchen island, perching atop the stools that you can twirl to your liking. Half the time you eat there, the other in the living room in front of the television.

Catching the sight of your hair in the kitchen window, you pull your hoodie on the top of your head and look down at the plate Jisung places in front of you. It is nothing fancy - pasta with creamy sauce, with chopped green onions sitting on top of it, but it smells absolutely delicious and makes your stomach growl.

“I think I’m drooling,” you state, glancing up at him. “I am so hungry, fuck.”

Jisung laughs, sitting down next to you with his own plate. “Parmesan?”

“Yes, please.”

He sprinkles some on your plate, and then on his, before you both start to eat in silence. There’s music playing on the speaker, a song you don’t recognize, and you ask Jisung about it. He tells you about this new band he’s discovered, and you quietly talk as you devour your plates. The sauce, smooth and peppery, is making your taste buds dance, and the food gives you a lot of energy. As you eat, the conversation gets more lively, and you suggest making coffee for dessert. Jisung agrees, and after you insist on doing the dishes first, he says he’ll wait for you in the living room. You hear the familiar song of a game he likes to play and get started on the dishes. As you put down the clean dishes in the drying rack, you sigh.

A nap. Homemade food. Jisung’s smile. All of these things reassure you, and make you feel peaceful - so why is there such a tight knot at the bottom of your stomach? Why can’t it go away, even for just a few hours?

You should study again after this.

Drink your coffee with your nose in your books.

You’re wasting valuable time.

You shut your eyes tight, taking a deep breath as you dry your hands.

When you sit down on the couch next to Jisung, near the edge of the cushion, not getting too comfortable, you put down his mug of coffee on the table and keep yours in your hands. He shoots you a quick glance.

“Thanks.”

You just smile back, a feeble attempt for one, but Jisung catches it. He glances back one more time, frowns. You wish you weren’t that easy to read. You wish you could take a deep breath and smile and he would believe it when you said you were fine. But you’ve never been very good at that.

Still, Jisung says nothing. He pauses his game, turns the spoon in his coffee mug to mix in the milk. You just stare at yours, the black coffee almost staring back.

“I should…” You hesitate for a second, then shake your head. “Yeah, I should get back to it.”

You stand up quickly, hoping to be able to run away before Jisung says anything, but you feel his fingers close around your hand. You look down at him in surprise. He looks at you with wide eyes, looking confused and maybe even slightly annoyed.

“Right now?” he says. “I thought you’d get some rest.”

“I did,” you shrug, nibbling on your lower lip. “There’s too much to do, and…”

“Y/N,” he stops you, shaking his head. “You need to take a break. We need to take a break.”

You part your lips to retaliate, but Jisung removes his hand from yours and pats the couch.

“Sit down, please.”

His voice is low, a little rusty. You swallow, your mouth dry. If only your chest didn’t feel so empty, your heart would be pounding in your chest.

“I know you’re anxious,” he tells you softly, playing nervously with his fingers. “I am, too. But aren’t you getting tired of, like… just stressing out?”

You chuckle a little bitterly, looking at Jisung. The light of the television reflects on his skin, mixed with the orange glow of the lamp. The circles under his eyes are dark. His lips are chapped. His nose is still a little red from the cold he had last week. You feel a pang of longing.

“Of course I am,” you sigh. “But we just have to get through it, right? We just need to make it there.”

He nods. “I know, but I’m scared of what we’re losing in the process. It can’t be healthy to just study all the time like we do.”

“What do you suggest, then?”

He shrugs, leaning back into the couch. His hoodie skirts up his stomach a little as he stretches his arms. You catch a glimpse of skin, of an abdominal muscle. It almost makes your brain glitch.

“I don’t know,” he breathes. “A distraction? Just for one night.”

When he sees your hesitation, Jisung quickly continues.

“I don’t mean dressing up and going outside and being social. Just the two of us, I mean. We can watch a movie, play games… get high.”

That makes you smile. “We don’t have any more weed since the cookie disaster.”

“Fuck, that’s right,” he laughs. “But it doesn’t matter. We just need to clear our heads, y’know? Think about something else. Be in denial about the exams. Like they’re not even going to happen.”

You take a deep breath, still hesitant. Your heart desperately wants to say yes, but your brain is holding back. The voice in your head, telling you you shouldn’t. You don’t want it to whisper your guilt back to you all night.

“Please, Y/N,” Jisung suddenly adds. There’s something in his voice that catches your attention. Sadness. Despair. “I don’t want to do it without you. We said we’d go through this together, right?”

You shake your head, staring down at the pinkie finger he is now holding up between you. He’s playing with your heartstrings and he knows it, but you don’t blame him. It’s working too well. There’s not much you would refuse him, anyway - but you don’t tell him that. Instead you smile and wrap your pinkie around his.

“Okay,” you say softly. “Let’s be in denial together.”

Jisung grins and you laugh, hitting his arm.

“It’s not fair that you used the wounded puppy eyes, by the way.”

“I would never,” Jisung says, shaking his head.

You take a careful sip of coffee, which is still a little too hot, but the warmth feels nice in your throat. Jisung grabs the second controller and presents it to you.

“You want to join?”

Although you are not very good at this game you agree, because you figure it will be a good way to start off the evening. As you pound on the buttons and try not to get Jisung killed in the game, you feel your shoulders relax. It doesn’t make the knot go away, but you do get a little giddy at the idea of not returning to your books tonight. That - and the perspective of spending the next hours with Jisung makes you a little more happy than it should. You already spend a lot of time together, so why would this evening be different? But it still feels like it.

Once the coffees are empty and the campaign is over, you and Jisung settle on a movie you both wanted to see for a while. You settle on opposite sides of the couch as you usually do, but you end up stretching your legs so much your feet rest against Jisung’s legs, and he doesn’t complain. He even puts a warm hand on your ankle at some point, distracting you a little from the movie.

The movie ends too quickly, and you end up in the kitchen cleaning the mugs and staring at each other.

“What now?” you chuckle. “It’s still early. Unless you want to go to bed…”

“No way,” he replies. “I want to make this last as much as possible.”

He is looking at you as he says that, his hair sticking out behind his head because of the way he was slumped on the couch for the duration of the movie, and your heartbeat accelerates. You feel a hotness on the back of your neck and you rub it with your hand.

“Then maybe we can… Take a walk? It’s not raining or anything.”

“Snack run? Then we can find something else to watch.”

“Sounds good.”

You don’t bother getting changed because it’s dark outside and the grocery store is just around the corner. Besides, you live in a neighborhood that is mostly composed of other students, so two people in sweatpants and hoodies isn’t uncommon at all. After getting plenty of snacks, you head back towards your shared apartment, talking in calm voices. The streets are not too busy, and it’s only slightly chilly. You glance up at the sky, walking slowly, your hand brushing Jisung’s.

At one point, you realize you are only talking about school and your exams, so Jisung shakes his head.

“We are so bad at this whole ‘think about something else’ thing,” he laughs.

You sigh. “We really are. God, this is hard.”

“We need to find a really good distraction. Something that would really, really disconnect our brains, like…”

He stops and you look at him with a frown. “Like what?”

“I dunno,” he answers a little too quickly. “We have to find something, is what I’m saying.”

“Yeah,” you agree in a whisper, glancing back at him curiously.

You could swear he is blushing.

“How about drinking?” he offers. “Not too much so we don’t get headaches, but a little. Being tipsy can maybe help us get inspiration.”

“I like the idea,” you smile.

Once you are back inside your apartment, your sneakers exchanged for slippers, you grab a bottle of soju from the fridge and fill two glasses. You and Jisung sit on the floor, backs leaning against the couch, and clink your glasses together. Jisung chooses a random movie on Netflix, and you watch it for a few minutes, unable to concentrate on it. After you’ve taken a few sips, you let out a sigh.

“You know what would be easier? If we weren’t single.”

Jisung arches an eyebrow.

“I mean, we could just call them,” you explain. “Get laid. Get a massage. Make out for hours. That would be really good distraction.”

“It would,” Jisung laughs. “Don’t you have someone you could call?”

“Like a fuck buddy?” you say. “Jisung, you seem to forget how excruciatingly single and bad at flirting I am.”

“You can’t be worse than me,” he smiles, taking another sip from his glass. “Last time I tried to get laid I got stood up.”

“She was a bitch,” you point out.

Jisung shakes his head. “I thought personality doesn’t matter when it comes to hooking up.”

“That’s not exactly true.”

“Like you’re such a pro at this, huh?”

You gasp at Jisung’s jab, shoving him with your elbow. “That was so mean!”

“Sorry, sorry,” he laughs, holding his palms up. “I mean, if a massage would do it for you, I can try.”

You scrunch your nose. “Nah, thank you. I’m actually not much of a massage person.”

“How can you not be a massage person?!”

You keep talking and laughing, watching the movie sometimes, and for a while, you think that you’ve actually succeeded at clearing your heads. You feel lighter, distracted. The alcohol and Jisung’s laugh help a lot. But eventually you breathe out and realize that the knot is still there. Insistent. It almost feels like it’s getting bigger. Beside you, you can feel that Jisung is the same. His shoulders are tense, and his eyes, while fixated on the screen, are not seeing anything. You’re a little tipsy so you grab the controller and press pause.

“Ji, this isn’t working.”

He turns towards you, looking sheepish. “I know. I’m sorry…”

“We need something more drastic.”

He gives you a little nod, and you squint.

“What was the idea you had earlier?”

His head shoots up and you can see panic in his eyes. “What? What idea?”

“Don’t lie to me,” you tell him. “I know your idea face. You thought of something back there, when we were walking back.”

And there it is - Jisung blushes again, shaking his head vehemently. “Oh. Oh, no. It wasn’t… It’s stupid. It’s not - I just mean it’s… No.”

You turn your body completely towards his, drawing your knees against your chest. “Ji, come on. Tell me. I’m not going to judge.”

He gives you a timid look, and empties his soju glass before he clears his throat. You do not know why, but your heart is pounding in your chest.

Jisung breathes deeply.

“I was just thinking, that when I need a distraction, like… When I really want to think about something else, I…”

“Yes?” you encourage him.

“I jerk off.”

You stare back at him in shock. You should’ve expected this. You were an idiot not to catch it earlier on. It was a logical answer - and something you’ve tried yourself numerous times in the past couple of days. Slipping your fingers in your underwear, stimulating yourself. Watching porn. But when you did succeed at your orgasms, they always felt underwhelming. They never left you feeling appeased, just even more tense.

“Oh,” you breathe out.

“I told you it was stupid! I shouldn’t have -”

“It’s not stupid,” you shrug, and it’s your turn to empty your glass.

You’re not drunk. You’re just a little tipsy. It’s not barely enough to have this kind of conversation with your roommate - one you have a huge crush on - but it will have to do. You want Jisung to feel comfortable with you. And it’s nothing to be embarrassed of, right? That’s what people always say. So why is talking about it so hard, why is your heart pounding, why is the thought of Jisung jerking off turning you on so goddamn much?

Jisung blinks at you. “It’s not?”

“Of course not,” you smile a little nervously. “I… I do it too, when I want to relax.”

He visibly gulps, but you take it as embarrassment.

“Don’t we all?” you add, a little nervously.

He nods quickly, maybe a little too enthusiastically. Your cheeks are hot, horribly hot. You need some air. You need another drink. Ten, even.

“I mean, if you want some time alone…”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Jisung says. “I just, I mean, you know my friend Minho?”

You nod. “Yeah, why?”

“He told me about one time, he and his friend, I mean they were dating so it’s not the same, but they - hm, they… They watched porn together.”

It feels like you can barely breathe. Did it suddenly get very warm in your living room? Because your skin feels like it’s on fire and neither you or Jisung can look at each other directly.

“People really do that?” you say in a weak voice.

“Apparently,” Jisung chuckles nervously. “He said it was really fun, so… Yeah, I don’t know why I thought about that.”

There’s a short silence as you try to make sense of what Jisung is telling you. Is he just telling an anecdote, or is he asking for something? If you agree, will he think you’re crazy or weird? Maybe he’s just sharing. You decide there’s not much to lose. If you are misunderstanding, you can just laugh and pretend you’re joking.

Your voice is gentle, not very assumed. “You… you want us to watch porn together?”

Jisung shoots you a very panicked look and for a second you think you’ve just made a huge fool of yourself. But he opens his mouth and stammers out a yes.

“C-could be fun, I guess?” he adds.

You breathe out, your heart beating so fast you are sure Jisung can hear it. Surely, he can hear it. How terrified you are terrified at the prospect of watching porn with him. How much you never would’ve thought this could happen. How much you want to do it now.

“We really don’t have to, it’s just a stupid idea, and -”

“Okay,” you whisper.

Jisung looks at you. “R-really?”

“Sure, why not,” you say more decisively, giving him a tight nod. “We can comment on it and everything. Could be fun. I mean, it’s just porn, right? We watch it all the time.”

You realize your mistake too late, your smile faltering on your lips.

“I - I mean, I do, not all the time, but sometimes, like all people do, and…”

“You heard me that time, didn't you?” Jisung sighs, slamming his palm against his forehead.

You can’t hold back a smile this time - a genuine one. Jisung groans as you bite your lip, trying to hold back your laughter.

“Just say it,” he sighs.

“I heard you that time.”

Jisung’s head drops forward in his hands and you chuckle, your shoulders shaking.

“It’s okay, Ji, it’s not -”

“The ONE time!” he cries out, looking up at you. You love the smile on his face, both embarrassed and amused, horrified and shy. “The one time I forget to plug in my headphones… I realized too late…”

“It’s fine,” you repeat, not thinking, and place a hand on his thigh to squeeze it briefly. “It’s just porn, Ji. And I know you’re into hentai, so don’t be ashamed, please. I like it too.”

Jisung looks at you like his brain is short-circuiting. “You - what - how do you know that?”

“I was in the room with you and Minho that time you talked about it, remember?” You smile. “Also, it’s the second time his name comes up in our conversation about porn, this is getting weird.”

Jisung shrugs. “Eh, the man is shameless. But you’re right, I remember now. God, that is embarrassing.”

“It isn’t,” you smile, twirling your empty glass in your hand. You don’t want to drink anymore - this is already too much adrenaline for you. “I just confessed I’m into it, too. Do you think that’s weird?”

“Not at all. I think that’s… hot.”

You smile, feeling your cheeks burn, but you do not know what to answer. Instead, you fill your lungs with air and gather your courage.

Jisung is observing his nails very carefully.

“So, shall we?” you say, trying to sound confident.

Jisung glances up at you, searching your eyes for an instant. You guess he must be looking for hesitation, or trying to figure out if you really want this or are doing it just to please him, so you just smile calmly, although you’re unable to hold back your nervousness.

“Let’s do it,” he answers with a sharp nod.

For good measure, you each pour yourself another drink, and Jisung gets his laptop to plug it so the browser is projected on the television. You wrap your arms around your legs, looking up nervously at the screen. Jisung’s fingers hover over the keyboard.

“S-so, is there a website you like?” he asks.

“Hm,” you answer, letting out a shaky breath. “Not really. You can go to the one you usually go to. If you’re okay with that.”

“Sure,” Jisung breathes.

It takes him a few more seconds but he eventually types in a website and you let out a giggle as the welcome page pops up on the screen.

“What?”

“It’s just - it’s also the one I use,” you admit, and Jisung grins.

“Really? I like this one because of the categories. They’re a little unusual but so much fun for discovering new stuff.”

“And the mobile site is so well made,” you add with enthusiasm. “Not like other websites which are impossible to navigate on your phone…”

“Ugh, tell me about it.”

You laugh, relieved that this is already easier than you thought it would be. Of course, you haven’t actually put on any porn yet, but at least you are learning to speak of it more or less comfortably.

A short silence follows as Jisung scrolls up and down the page, and you glance at the thumbnails. Schoolgirls. Medieval fantasy. Monsters. After a minute, Jisung lets out a sigh.

“I guess we just have to choose one,” he says.

You bite your lip. “Type in Labyrinth in the search bar.”

Jisung looks at you, but he still does it. You point out the thumbnail you recognize, feeling almost dizzy.

“I like this one,” you say in a very soft voice. “The story’s actually really good.”

“O-okay.”

Taking a sharp breath, Jisung clicks on the link and the video opens up. He puts it on full screen, and it feels different to watch it on the television. You roll your arms around yourself, feeling terribly shy, and Jisung sits on the couch next to you - at a reasonable distance, of course. You clink your glasses together and take a sip of soju.

It’s not so bad at first. There’s an actual story to this video that you enjoy, but you know it doesn’t last that long. You are terrified of what Jisung might say, that he might laugh at you, but you try your best not to overthink everything. As the sex scenes are coming closer, you realize you have not yet exchanged a word and there is still the embarrassing issue of actually getting turned on. You really haven’t thought this through, you think to yourself as the characters start to undress each other.

Oh, God.

Kisses. Fondling. The wet sounds of the guy’s fingers slipping into the girl’s dripping folds. You breathe in slowly - but there’s a reason you love this video. It really pushes your buttons, so you can’t help but feel your walls clench around nothing. You should think about something else. You can’t focus too much on this. But you’re already getting wet and your eyes can’t leave the screen because if they do, they’ll inevitably fall on Jisung.

Your friend. Your roommate. Your crush. Who is sitting next to you, watching your favorite porn video with you. Oh, God.

On the screen, the guy buries his head in between her legs. Licks her wetness as she moans his name. The images are one thing - the sounds are another.

You’re burning up, pushing your thighs together, trying to stay discreet.

As the girl’s pleasure builds, the subtitles translate her moans for you. Wanted this for so long, your tongue feels so good buried in me. That’s when you feel Jisung move beside you. Your eyes are instinctively drawn to him, and you catch a glimpse of his parted mouth, his red cheeks, his hazy eyes.

He has his legs propped up against him. You wonder if he’s as turned on as you. Maybe not. Maybe this isn’t doing it for him.

You focus back on the screen as the girl comes, squirting around the guy’s face. He chuckles, and asks her to suck his cock. She bends down to do it, and Jisung breathes out sharply.

“The- the animation’s really good,” he says weakly, and you are quick to nod.

“Yeah, right? The movements are really smooth,” you comment.

Jisung smiles nervously. “Yeah. I - I like it.”

You want to keep talking, but you don’t know what to say. The questions that burn the tip of your tongue cannot be asked, not really, not right now. You and Jisung are friends who watch porn together. You are not involved. You are not dating. This is just a distraction.

But now you are horny as fuck and getting tense. You need to relieve the pressure between your legs or you will go crazy. You can already feel your mind buzzing.

The girl is giving the guy a sloppy blowjob. He is groaning loudly, which is something you like about this video, and she hums in pleasure.

“The voice acting isn’t that bad, right?” you say. “I like it when we can hear the guy, too.”

“You do?” Jisung asks. “I thought girls didn’t like hearing us.”

“Oh my God, it’s literally the opposite,” you chuckle. “Hearing the guys groan and moan is the hottest thing ever.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Ji. Be as vocal as possible, I promise it’s going to make them come quicker.” You shrug. “I mean, I can’t speak for everyone. But it would do it for me.”

Jisung nods, and you both turn back to the screen just in time for the guy plunging his cock deep inside his partner, making her gasp in pleasure. The squelching noises are turned up, and she is visibly dripping all around him, precum and juices staining the sheets of the bed.

Yes, fuck me deep, your cock is so big, oh my god!

You close your eyes, shifting your hips in a desperate attempt to rub yourself against something, but there’s nothing to do - your cunt is just throbbing, and you can feel your slick drenching your underwear. You’re so hot, you want to remove your hoodie, but you also can’t move.

You lose track of time a little when Jisung’s voice reaches your ears.

“S-sorry,” he says in a breathy voice. “I can’t help it.”

You glance at him and notice he has stretched his legs. His gray sweatpants hide absolutely nothing of his erection and you stare at the outline of his cock, hard and thick. You could moan out loud at the mere sight, but by miracle you are able to hold it in. You had noticed Jisung was, let’s say, well equipped, but you did not expect this.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbles.

“It’s fine,” you whisper, shaking your head, finally looking up at him. “I’m really wet, too.”

Jisung’s cock twitches under his pants and he closes his eyes sharply. “Fuck, don’t tell me that.”

“S-sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Fuck. I’m sorry.”

You don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the porn on the television, your own arousal, your repressed crush for Jisung or the sight of his stiff cock, but you’re unable to think straight and the words come out of your mouth unprovoked.

“Ji, do you… do you want some help?”

The thought that you could actually touch him makes your mouth water. You’ve thought about it before, wrapping your hands around him. Closing your lips around his length. Licking him clean. Maybe it’s not as impossible as you thought. Maybe you aren’t that foolish to think it could happen.

Jisung stammers for a few seconds because he gulps. “A-are you really asking?”

You nod faintly. “I can jerk you off.”

He stares at you, mouth open. “I mean - If - if- if you’d like it.” He seems to catch himself, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “You don’t have to, Y/N, it’s…”

“I don’t mind,” you answer. “I - I’d like it, but only if you want to.”

“R-right. Hm, okay. But only if you’re sure…”

You just shuffle closer to him, kneeling beside his body. His smell overwhelms you, so him, his cologne and his soap, soju and candy, and your hands are shaking as you reach for his pants. You hesitate, though, realizing what you are about to do. You’re scared he doesn’t really want this, you’re scared of what it will change, but before you can start to doubt too much, Jisung slides down his sweatpants and takes his cock out himself.

“H-here.”

He holds it up for you although he wouldn’t have to. He is so hard it looks painful, veins bulging, slightly curved, pre-cum glistening at the tip. You bite your lip, pressing your legs together, and you’re sitting so close to Jisung you feel his breath in your hair.

You reach out and wrap your fingers around his cock. It’s warm and pulsating, and Jisung lets out a whimper. You move your hand upwards and downwards, getting used to him, barely seeing the porn that is still ongoing on the screen. All you hear are moans and the wet sounds of fucking and kissing, and it helps you not think too much about what is happening, like it’s not real, like it’s part of the porn. Your fingers slide up to his tip, smearing the pre-cum over Jisung’s cock, and you jerk your hand a little faster.

Jisung lets out a choked moan and his forehead falls against the side of your head. His arm slides around your body, holding you close, the other resting on the couch, gripping the fabric.

“F-fuck, ah, ah, fuck,” he whispers in your ear, and the sound is like the sweetest music.

Is Jisung enjoying this? You giving him a handjob while watching porn? This can’t be real. This is the hottest thing you've ever done.

“Is that okay?” you ask him softly.

“F-feels p-perfect,” he grunts, bucking his hips against your hand. “Y/N…”

The sound of your name draws a shaky breath from your lips, and your other hand grabs his thigh, squeezing it a little. You try to remain steady, intoxicated by the sounds coming from the television, Jisung’s noises, his cock around your hand, him fucking your palm.

“I’m n-not going to last,” Jisung whimpers, and you slide up your other hand to cup his balls. That draws a loud grunt from his lips. “Fuck, Y/N!”

“Hold on,” you whisper, feeling drunker than if you had emptied a bottle of soju by yourself. “I want to suck you off.”

It might be your only chance. You want to make this moment last - so you have something to think about, the next time your roommate comes into your mind. The next time you dream about Jisung being yours. The next time you tell yourself there is no way he can like you back. You can at least let him go knowing he’s come once around your hands, around your lips.

“Y-you sure?”

You nod, shuffling back on the couch a little, bending forward so your lips come into contact with his cock. Jisung buries his fingers in your hair, pulling them together to keep them away from your face. You kiss his tip, your right hand still moving, your left holding his balls.

“Holy fuck, Y/N… This feels incredible… I’m not…”

“Just let go, Ji,” you whisper, perhaps a little too tenderly.

You wrap your mouth around his cock, taking him in. You glance up to see his eyes roll back. You’re pretty sure the sex scene is over on the screen, because people are talking, but neither of you are paying any attention. You bob your head, licking every inch of him, and Jisung thrusts his hips slowly, fucking your mouth gently.

“I’m gonna blow, fuck, please, ah - ah, FUCK -”

He comes quickly and suddenly, his cum filling your mouth, salty and warm. His cock keeps throbbing between your lips, and Jisung is breathing heavily, his fingers still resting in your hair, all tangled. You take the time to lick him clean, gently, carefully.

When you sit up, his hand slides down your arm to your leg, and you look at him. He’s not moving, head thrown back, his hair over his slightly sweaty face, his clothes in disarray.

This is a sight you’ll never forget.

A taste you’ll never forget.

You feel something tighten in your chest.

You’ve fallen so hard for him.

“Y/N…” he breathes after a few seconds, raising his head to look at you.

His hands reach for you, and you let him. His hand grazes your cheek, the other gripping your own. You slide your fingers in between his, feeling a little shy.

“That was unreal,” he breathes, leaning in towards you.

He doesn’t kiss you, neither does he hug you - he just presses his body against yours, pressing his lips against your hair. It’s such a tender gesture you feel your heart swell in your chest and you ache for touch. You don’t expect anything. You want to run away to touch yourself, to fuck yourself thinking of him, but you don’t want to leave his warmth.

“Come here,” he whispers. “It’s your turn.”

Your heart skips a beat. You want to tell him he doesn’t have to, but he’s already wrapping his arms around you, bringing you closer. You end up on his lap, and instinctively you guide your legs so you straddle one of his legs, your core flush on his thigh.

The pressure, despite the layers of clothing, draws a moan from between your lips and you dig your fingers in his skin.

“Jisung…”

“Does that feel good?” he asks in a whisper.

When you nod, Jisung raises his thigh a little, applying more pressure on your cunt, and the wave of pleasure makes you arch your back and grind against him.

“Don’t hold back,” he breathes as you start to roll your hips. “Like you told me. Just let go.”

He places a hand on the small of your back, accompanying you in your movements. He breathes in your neck, warming up and tickling your skin, your cunt clenching tighter and tighter. His thigh is tense, pressing against all the right places, and you can’t stop moaning.

You push yourself up a little, pressing a hand against his chest, and you want to get rid of all those clothes, and feel him under your skin, but you can’t stop moving, and you are so close to coming.

Jisung is breathing hard against you, pushing his leg upwards, his hands massaging your waist, helping you move as you ride his thigh. “That’s it, baby…”

The nickname alone almost ends you.

He kisses your collarbone and you think you might explode. “You sound so good. I’m so fucking obsessed with you,” he says.

The words take your breath away. You shudder, your fingers squeezing his as you roll your hips a little slower. “You - what?”

It’s like he doesn’t hear you. “Baby, please, can I make you cum?”

You just nod, his words echoing in your mind, unable to be truly grasped as your orgasm builds up. His hand slides down your pants and he pushes his fingers under your panties, pressing them against your wetness. You let out a moan at the direct contact, feeling your body jolt.

“You’re so wet,” Jisung groans in your ear.

You can’t bring yourself to speak. You’re already so close to your climax that when Jisung starts to circle your clit, pushing his fingers in between your folds, it only takes a few seconds for you to come undone, breathing out his name. It feels like a tidal wave, like a power surge, like everything you have dreamed of. You feel him smile, his fingers teasing you until you have to grab his wrist and pull them away.

“S-sensitive,” you chuckle, unable to open your eyes, feeling drained.

He nods with a soft laugh. You can feel against your leg that he’s hard again, but he doesn’t do anything. He just looks at you as you try to steady your breathing, your legs trembling. You don’t want to move - he is so warm next to you. But eventually, you realize the position you are in, and so you slide off him. Jisung helps you, his hands guiding you back on the couch beside him.

You feel breathless, like you’ve just ran a marathon. Once your eyes are able to focus, you stare at the screen without really seeing it. You try to grasp what has just happened. You wonder what’s next. You are afraid.

“Y/N…”

Jisung’s voice reaches your ears but you can’t bring yourself to look at him. What now? Can you stay roommates? Can you even stay friends? Your heartbeat accelerates and you sit up on the couch, suddenly feeling antsy.

“I - I should… I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Y/N, wait -”

You know it’s unfair, but you ignore him and quickly walk away. You close the bathroom door, breathing out. And then the oddest thing happens.

You smile.

You giggle in surprise, putting your fingers to your lips. Fuck, you can’t stop smiling. You should be nervous, you should be terrified. But none of those feelings are lasting - you are only smiling like an idiot. Jisung’s words resonate in your head. I’m so fucking obsessed with you.

Sometimes things need to change. Sometimes they should. Sometimes they are meant to.

When you open the bathroom door again, Jisung is waiting for you on the other side. His big eyes are filled with worry, pleading, and fear.

“Y/N, please, listen -”

You don’t think. You just kiss him.

Jisung does not move at first, and when you take a step back, your cheeks burning up, he stares at you with shock.

“What are you -”

“I like you,” you blutter out. “I like you a lot.”

It takes another second, but Jisung’s lips curve into a smile. His eyes do not leave yours, but the light in them changes. Soon his heart-shaped grin makes your heart swell in your chest, and he’s picking you up in his arms and kissing you again.

You push him gently against the wall. “Please touch me again.”

You guide his hands on your waist, and he breathes hard in your mouth.

“I like you so much,” Jisung says, and his lips brush against your ear, making you breathe out. “I have such a massive crush on you. Never let myself act on it… I was too scared, you know.”

“I know,” you whisper back. “Me too.”

“I like everything about you,” he whispers. “Your laugh. Your passion. Your smell. Your skin… Fuck, you’re so gorgeous. You don’t have any idea how beautiful you are. How fucking sexy.”

You part your mouth wider, and he pushes his tongue against yours, playing with it, his teeth teasing your lips. His hard cock is pressing against you, making you crave him again, and you want to feel him inside of you, so deep you can never be separated again.

“Can I take you back to my room?” he asks in between two kisses. “I want to fuck you in my bed.”

You feel yourself throbbing and you can’t hold back a moan as you nod.

It happens fast - Jisung takes your hand and guides you to his room. You’re pretty sure the porn is still playing on the television back in the living room, but who cares? You only have eyes for Jisung.

You know his room so well. The smells, the colors. The desk, the blankets, the clothes. The stickers on the window. Yet it all looks different as you step inside holding Jisung’s hand. He draws you close, bringing you back into a kiss. You collapse against him, letting him guide you to his bed.

He lifts you like you’re a feather, laying you down, his body above yours. Jisung is quick to cover your neck with kisses, his wet lips smearing saliva on your skin. He removes your hoodie, palms your breasts, who are only covered by a tank top.

“Fuck, those tits…”

You can hardly breathe, loving each of his caresses. The sheets smell so much like him it’s almost overwhelming. After removing the rest of your clothes, he spends a long time kissing and licking your breasts, playing with your nipples, drawing hisses and moans from your lips. After a while you whimper in protest, because your walls are begging for him.

“Ji, please…”

His mouth breaks into a grin, and he comes back to push his lips against yours. He kisses you surprisingly tenderly, and you moan against his mouth, because this feels so right, so true. His fingers stroke your hair, your cheek, and your hands travel down his back and then upwards, lifting his crewneck. He removes it, and you arch your back against him, your nipples pressed against his chest, his lips ardently seeking yours.

Soon he is naked too, and as he keeps kissing you, his cock teases your wetness. From his shuddered breathing, you know he can’t wait much longer, and you squeeze his arm, hoping he understands your signal. It seems like he does, because he sits up a little, leaning towards his bedside table to open a drawer. He fumbles inside of it, muttering nonsense, until he finally pulls out a condom. You giggle and Jisung laughs with you, and you feel warmer than you ever have.

Once Jisung has safely put on the condom, he guides his cock against your entrance and glances at you.

“Can I - I mean - You sure?”

“Yes,” you nod.

You wish you could look at his length disappearing inside of you, just because you’ve desired it so much, but once Jisung enters you, your head falls back on the pillow. He goes slow, leaving you time to adjust, stopping when you breathe a little more sharply. It takes a minute, but eventually he fills you up, and you wrap your arms around him, breathing out.

“Are you okay?”

You nod. “Sorry. It’s just been a while.”

“There’s no rush,” he tells you softly. “We can go slow.”

You smile, pulling him into a kiss.

“Just tell me if it’s too much,” he breathes in your ear.

He starts to move, thrusting his hips carefully. Your body recovers quickly, though, and soon you can shift your hips alongside his, easing his movements. He fucks you gently and deeply, sending shivers up your spine, and you’ve certain you’ve never had sex like this. You breathe together, move together, moan together.

You take your time, your orgasm rising slowly and surely. You dig your fingers in his skin, shudder when you hear him grunt. You shift positions after some time, so that your legs can be wrapped more easily around his waist, and he’s so deep inside of you that you feel your walls throb with pleasure.

“J-just like that,” you whisper to him. “Fuck, I’m coming…”

“I can feel you,” he whimpers. “Come, baby, I’m so close too…”

You cry out in his neck, the sound slightly muffled, and Jisung follows you seconds afterwards. You feel every throb of his release. You’re still shivering as he looks down in panic.

“Fuck, I’m - I’m sorry, I didn’t pull out…”

“It’s okay,” you reassure him. “There’s the condom, and I take the pill…”

He still looks worried so you kiss him, feeling at peace. You are safe, you feel safe. Jisung eventually relaxes, and after throwing away the condom, he slumps on the bed beside you, snuggling his head in the crook of your neck. His fingers brush your cheek to put a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I want to make you cum every day,” he says gently. “With my fingers, my mouth, my cock.”

“Hmm,” you smile. “I like that idea.”

“Yeah?” he grins. “I want to sleep next to you. See your face in the morning, the sunshine against your cheeks… Your arms wrapped around me.”

With every sentence he places a kiss, making you sleepy and perfectly awake at the same time, your mind consumed by the images he draws.

“I want to keep cooking for you. Make you smile. Drive you to the dentist…”

“Jisung, you don’t have a car,” you laugh.

“I’ll get one. And I want to get rid of those fucking doors between us.”

“Jisung.”

You open your eyes, grab his face so he looks at you in the eyes.

“Will you kiss me?”

Jisung pushes your hair away from your face and does exactly that.

Some time later, you smile.

You have not drawn the curtain yet, so the moonlight penetrates the window, illuminating the room in soft blues. You graze your nose against Jisung’s chest, listening to him breathe. He’s slowly falling asleep beside you, the covers drawn over your naked bodies.

“Hey, you know what? It worked. I haven’t thought about studying all night,” you whisper to him.

You hear him chuckle. “Hm. I don’t even know what you’re referring to. My head is completely empty.”

“So is mine,” you say with a laugh, planting a kiss on his warm skin. “I can’t even remember what day of the week this is.”

“I can only think about you,” Jisung replies, stroking your hair. “I like you a lot.”

“Me too, Ji. Me too.”

I'm so sorry for not updating as much as I used to. I hurt my shoulder pretty bad and couldn't write for a while, and now my head won't let me.

Let me know if you enjoyed this! Thank you for all of your support and love. ♡

taglist: @ughbehavior ; @upallnight-s ; @changbinluvr ; @rosexjimin ; @nasiaisan ; @lotus-dly ; @cb97percent ; @j-0ne25 ; @hwan-g ; @jhopesucker ; @leedunno ; @septicrebel ; @imtoooyoungforthisshit ; @sikebishes ; @sai-kida134 ; @sstarryoong ; @alexis-reads-fics ; @luvsskz ; @beautifulcolorgarden ; @sensitiveandhungry

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xxcallmemaryxx · 25 days ago

Note

Could I have a HC of IV letting reader wear his jacket?

He’s a sweetie, his intentions are pure. But sometimes you make him a little bit evil. There’s nothing ten bucks can’t fix. :)

IV x GN reader

Under the cut ~ <3

“IV it’s gone I can’t find it-“

“It’s probably in the car, quick let’s go we’re already gonna be late.”

You guys stayed up late last night. IV had the guys over for dinner, they ended up staying back for some drinks and before you knew it, it was 1am. After a long night of hosting you both crawled into bed, dead to the world in mere moments, and didn’t set any alarms for the plans you’d made for the following day.

A text from ii is what woke IV up, something about traffic and it being best if you two took another route. Which is how you find yourself here. Rushing around the house like psychos trying to get ready as quickly as possible. Except your good jacket, which you had hung by the door especially to wear today, is gone. You can’t find it. And you have no idea where it is.

“IV, I’m gonna be so fucking cold if I don’t have it.”

“I’ll buy you a new one when we get there if I have to, just get your cute ass in the car.”

Spoiler: it wasn’t in the car.

And now you’re on your way to the meeting spot you agreed to meet everyone at, pretending that you’re not even bothered by the cold. Of course the gathering today had to be in a nice park, it’s lovely and it’s quiet. But there’s not one part of you that can enjoy it. You're already dreaming of a hot shower tonight.

“You’re a terrible liar, love.”

“IV, just drop it. I'm not in the mood.”

You frown at the ground. It’s damp and it chills your feet through your shoes. You can’t help but silently wish you didn’t come out at all today.

“One day you’ll realise you’re lucky to have me.”

You can’t even question him on his cryptic comments because your thoughts are immediately cut short. He’s draped something over your shoulders, you don’t even care to find out what it is because the only thing you can acknowledge is that it’s warm. The chill in the wind isn’t nipping at your skin anymore. It feels like you can suddenly breathe again. And when you do all you smell is him.

He’s given you his jacket.

Your head snaps to him. Worry immediately eating at your chest.

“Now you’re just going to be cold why did you-“

Oh.

He was wearing two jackets.

“You were wearing two?”

“Yeah. Thought it was going to be colder but I’m just a bit too warm. Was gonna take it off anyways. Lucky you, huh?”

“This whole time? What kind of evil are you?”

He’s smiling at you. He literally doesn’t care. Because you’re wearing his jacket and you look stunning in it.

“The kind of evil that always comes prepared. I remembered two jackets. You didn’t even remember one.”

You’re huffing and rolling your eyes and shaking your head at him, but you’re smiling. You feel much better now, and you feel so lucky to have him.

“Thank you. But in my defence I didn’t forget it, it’s gone from where I left it I don’t know what happened… I was sure I-“

“Don’t worry about it, love. The day is saved. Now go say hi to the girls. They’ve been dying to see you.”

“You’re an angel, IV. I don’t know what the fuck I’d do without you.”

“Freeze to death, apparently.”

He sends you off with a kiss to the top of your head and a swat to your backside. He watches you part ways for a moment, admiring you dressed up in his favourite jacket. It makes his heart swell and his cheeks warm. It empties his brain and fills it with the impurest thoughts imaginable at the same time.

He watches the girls welcome you into their circle, IIs there as well. He’s happy you get along with his friends. He’s happy they love you.

His ogling is interrupted by a clap to the back from III.

“We get it, mate.”

“Shove off, prick. You’re already on my hit list.”

He has the gall to chuckle.

“Mission success, then?”

“It won’t be if you don’t keep your fucking voice down.”

“Pay up, then.”

IV huffs with a roll of his eyes, but reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a tenner. Slaps it into IIIs palm and shakes his head.

“You couldn’t wait five minutes, could you?”

III can’t help the chuckle that escapes him, yet again.

“Pleasure doing business, sweetcheeks.”

He saunters off with a smile that screams trouble. Headed straight for you. IV watches him say his hellos to you, compliments your ‘new’ jacket with a sickening smile and seamlessly inserts himself into the conversation you were having with II.

He briefly overhears you asking the tall son of a bitch where he disappeared to last night. He makes up some excuse about forgetting to turn his stove top off. IV can’t help the scoff that escapes him. But he doesn’t have long to dwell on it.

“You actually had him do it?”

Vessel stands next to IV, watching you all cozied up in his jacket.

“I asked him to hide the jacket, fucker took it home with him completely, I have no idea how I’m getting it back.”

“You know he’s going to con you out of another tenner, right? He planned this.”

“Yeah well. I can’t say I’m surprised. Plan worked though.”

“You know, I’ve heard just asking your partner to share clothes works wonders.”

“Alright, enough out of you. Keep your mouth shut.”

Vessel can’t help but laugh at his friend, a big old sweetie pie on the outside with a little bit of something sinister on the inside. Even if it means he ends up with more work in the end.

Vessel claps IV on the shoulder and walks him over to the rest of the group. IV zeros in on you. Comes up behind you and pulls you into his side. You’re in his jacket. You smell like him. You’re surrounded by his friends and you’re glowing.

He’s a very happy man today.

He doesn’t leave your side the whole time. As if you wearing his clothes wasn’t enough, he just needed to keep a hand on you all day as well. You learnt a long time ago that IV gets into these moods, you’d compare him to a lost puppy during these times. He follows you around with hearts in his droopy eyes and a smile that could tell a million stories. He’s so soft and gentle, and listens to every word that slips from your lips. (Except for the ones that tell him to leave you alone.) (You do not need to pee with the door shut.) (You’d think you’d get that by now.)

Sometimes he can reel it in. Like today, surrounded by his friends. But you know just beneath the surface his urges are festering. Every little squeeze of your hand. Or kiss to the forehead. Or quick little cuddles when the wind picks up, are his ways of trying to dampen his own urges to whisk you away, take you back home and bury you both back in bed.

He thought he’d be able to handle seeing you with his name all over you all day. Guess not.

There’s one moment, while you’re out, III was hungry and Vessel wanted a coffee, so you decided to take the short walk to a nearby cafe just down from the park. You and IV hang back, slowly following along but far enough away to be in your own world for a little bit. His hand is intertwined tightly with yours and he’s pulled you so close your arms keep brushing.

“You look stunning, love.”

It’s said in a low murmur, like he wants it to be a secret. A secret that only he knows how good you look. Your nose and cheeks are slightly pink from the chill in the air, your lips are a little bit cracked and his jacket drowns you. But to him you’re just beautiful. The smile you give him almost sends him into cardiac arrest. He thinks if his heart beats any faster it’ll create enough energy to power your house.

He ponders Vessels words. Wonders how you’d feel if he just outright asked you to wear his clothes when you go out together. Or when you go out without him. Or when you’re home for the day. Or when you’re going to bed. He knows you’d say yes, but there’s something about you being so oblivious that gets him all excited. How you unknowingly just let him dress you. Thinking it was pure coincidence, and that you really are just so lucky to have him.

He might tell you one day. He knows he’ll cop a good amount of teasing from you, but until then he’ll settle for watching you feel so at home and safe with him all over you.

____

“What the fuck?”

“What’s wrong, Bub?”

“My jackets back there.”

IV quickly turns to see what you’re looking at. Mid way through tossing his jacket back there now that you’re back in the car, he follows your eyes to the backseat.

And there it is.

Bunched up on the floor like it was there the whole time.

“I must be blind or something, I swear it wasn’t there this morning. Fucking hell… all that and it was here the whole time…”

He turns back to the road and bites back an amused smile.

III might put him through strife sometimes, but he’s clearly not stupid. He makes a mental note to send him a text when you two are home.

Lucky bastard lives to see another day.

Thank you for reading. I love you guys.

#idk if it’s clear but iv paid iii to hide your jacket #iii took it home with him instead #he loves to cause trouble #oh well. iv still got his wish.#sleep token #sleep token fanfiction #sleep token x reader #iv sleep token #iv sleep token x reader #sleep token iv #sleep token iv x reader #wine spilt #marys musings

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shuuuuush · 1 year ago

Text

LET ME LOVE YOU 【SHARKY】

【Summary】 ; Finding yourself dragged in to join a video with the beta squad, you meet Sharky. You've promised before that you wouldn't fall for anyone anymore after all you've been through. But now that he's popped up in your life, maybe you're slowly breaking your promise.

【Warnings】 ; slow build, reader has a description of a past abusive (more toxic than abusive) relationship and insecurity, mentions of trauma from it, slow brains to comprehend feelings, words: "damn", "bastard", "Shit" are used, Sharky being a jokeman.

【Pairing】 ; Sharky x f!Reader

【Word Count】; hehe 15k !!

【A/N】 ;Hope you all enjoy this, and it did take a while, so please let me know what you all think about it ! @vctrvn-ls thank u so much for scenario ideas and motivation when I felt like my brain was fried, and @allygatcr for hyping me up for this fic 🫶🫶 and all my mutuals who have long awaited this fic I love u all !

Masterlist

━─━────༺༻────━─━

The cold, cool air of the summer breeze hit your face as you stared out the window of the moving car.

Chin leaning on your hand as you watched houses and landscapes moved past your eyes in a speedy manner.

You didn't know what to expect in this upcoming event you were attending, well not a big event but a video that was shooting.

It was your first collaboration with other youtubers as you yourself was an upcoming one. Well you were more a guest than a collaboration but that's what you liked to call it.

Being nervous was an understatement, you didn't know what to expect but all you could do was hope for the best. Knowing the Internet could do anything after the video was posted was what made you more nervous, you hope things go your way and all but is that really realistic?

"You better not be over there being worried about the whole thing Y/N." A voice spoke beside you, one who was driving the car you were in.

Turning to roll your eyes at him, Aj just shook his head, hand still on the steering wheel as he continued speaking, since you didn't say anything.

"Cmon, I told you it's all good. These guys are my trusted friends and good collabs too. It'll help you a lot. And maybe get over your fear of…" He trailed off, glancing to your side as he faked a cough to quickly recover from what he was originally going to say, "You know what I mean. I'm telling you right now it's all good."

"It better be." You mumbled, still staring out the window of the car trying to calm your nerves down. Sure, Aj tried giving you a pep talk, but right now, it wasn't really working. Still, you appreciated what he did for you.

Aj was one of your family friends, you both have known each other since you were really young and both grew up together. He was the older brother that you never had. Throughout your childhood, you would be able to count on his triangle head.

Even though you'd both insult and tease each other, you still cared and were thankful.

And being the good friend Aj was, he saw how you were trying to become a bigger youtuber. But he knew you were afraid to expand and get to know more people than your small circle of ones you already knew.

So, he told you about the beta squad and how he and his friends created this group, where they make videos together and live in the same house. They do collabs with others too to make their videos more fun and interesting when there's guests.

He invited you, despite you saying you were fine by yourself, he insisted that it would be fun. And now here you are, on your way to the beta squad house to film a video with some people you don't know.

Except the short triangle head.

"If things don't go great, I'm heading straight back to this car, Aj." Sitting up straight and turning your head to him as you spoke.

You could tell he was contemplating whether or not to say some insult or snappy remark back, but in the end, he just nodded and said alright.

The driving came to a slow as the car approached the driveway of the house. The house itself was actually impressive. You thought maybe it would not be the best-looking house you'd seen with Aj living in it, but clearly, you're wrong.

I mean, what did you expect? They live in a mansion for crying out loud. You thought to yourself, as if hearing you, Aj laughed and commented on that thought.

"Yep, this place cost a sh' ton of money, but it's worth it." He spoke as he parked the car and turned off the engine. Looking for his keys to open the front door.

You laughed, finding the key on the front window of the car and handing it to him "Okayy mind reader shabeel. Thanks for the info."

He rolled his eyes in response and exited the car, causing a laugh to escape you again. Taking your phone out of your pocket, you looked at the time as it read, 4:30pm. The video was scheduled to start preparing to shoot at 5:00pm.

You got out of the car and shut the door, following Aj to the front of the house as he unlocked the door with some passcode at which he told you to "look away I don't want you breaking into this house"

And then proceeding to use the key to unlock the front door.

Stepping inside the house, it was cooler than outside, probably because of the air conditioning, and the mansion was huge, bigger inside than what it looked like outside.

Cold marble flooring that matched the white of the walls. Taking a look around the house, you noticed posters of all the beta squad, sitting on their thrones and wearing royal king crowns, following with their names beneath the poster.

You admit this place is starting to look really cool, and the fact that all of them are still quite young and can afford a house like this amazes you. Perhaps one day you'd be able to do the same.

Sniffing, you smelt a savoury aroma enter the room, you guessed, coming from the kitchen as you imagined the delicious food being cooked.

But your attention to food was taken away when you heard a ringtone coming from Aj's phone.

Glancing at it, he started to speak, "I gotta take this sorry, you can go ahead and sit on the couch or take a look around. Sharky might be at home right now, too."

Before you could question further where the sitting room was, he already was on the call, speaking to someone and walking out the door outside to the carpark.

You sighed, putting a hand on your hips, guess you had to explore now.

Thankfully, you found the giant couch without too much effort. As there was a glass door in front of you, beside the posters you were looking at earlier.

Speed walking up to the couch and plopping onto it, you felt the comfort of it instantly sink in, you felt like you were in your own bed that's how comfortable it was.

You pulled your airpods out of your pocket and connected it to your phone as you put them into your ears to listen to some music to pass the time a bit.

Going into Spotify to find your most trusted thing, your music playlists.

Pressing shuffle, you were glad one of your favourite songs popped up, "Thinkin' bout you." By Frank Ocean.

You listened to a lot of music artists and you never really had a favourite, but whenever you did listen to Frank Ocean it's just something about the lyrics that always touched you. Either they were too real or too sad and it made the songs more enjoyable. Or they were also just a good beat to be honest.

Humming along to the song, you foot tapped to the beat, following along with your head in sync. As you scrolled through your phone to find something to do, quietly singing the song that played through your airpods.

Cause I been thinking 'bout forever, ooh

Most of the time, you could almost dance to the music when you were alone but here, you were content with just tapping your foot along with the beat.

No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it

You started humming along to the words, enjoying the beat of the music.

Got a beach house I could sell you in Idaho, since you think

Now the music had taken over and you were singing along to the music, not singing too loud but enough to not classify it as a whisper.

I don't love you I just thought you were cute, that's why I kissed you

Got a fighter jet, I don't get to fly it though I'm lying down

Too lost in the music, you failed to hear the footsteps approaching beside you. You jumped slightly as a hand tapped your shoulder, causing you to remove one of your airpods and look up to see who it was.

"Hey, sorry for startling you. I just wanted to come over and say hi, You're Y/N, right? The guest today?"

You were greeted by dark chocolate eyes that were connected with a smile. A pretty face, you'll be honest. And he was tall. Damn, he was tall. Like 6 foot something, definitely. He had a good sense of style, wearing a grey backwards hat and matching hoodie and joggers that had a logo, Primo on it.

Still hooked on the fact that this beautiful man was standing in front of you. Were you daydreaming again?

Maybe you were observing him for too long, as he waved a hand in front of your face with a small chuckle.

"Oh! sorry, yes, I'm Y/N, I didn't mean to stare.." You internally punched yourself in the brain. He didn't have to know you were staring. Why did you say that out loud? You frickin idiot. You still haven't even turned off your music yet.

You paused the music on your phone and it caused an excited gasp to escape from the man in front of you, confused you looked back up at him to see him smiling with excitement as he was looking at your phone.

"Oh my days, you listen to Frank Ocean? Do you like his music?" He came over to sit beside you, still excited like a little kid who just made a friend for the first time.

You gave a slight giggle as you nodded, "I don't just like his music, I love his music. It's just something about the way his songs are always so real."

"Yeah, it's so relatable, and the way his lyrics are raw, it just makes it more enjoyable, you know?" He added, nodding while he talked and listening to you intently.

"I know, right? Honestly, one of the best music artists I know." You agreed, a small smile dusting your face as you talk about the one thing you enjoy, music.

He chuckled, "The greatest of all time," he stopped for a bit before asking, "What's your favourite song of his?"

"Ohh, it's hard to say because I love them all." You looked away to ponder for a minute, trying to differentiate which of his songs you would classify as a 'favourite.' No one really asked that before, too, so you never really had to think about it. "Honestly, I can't choose."

"Cmon, you have to have one that you could listen to forever."

You thought for a bit, "Hm, but if I had to have one, I'd say this song I'm listening to right now, Thinkin Bout You."

"Ohh, that song is so good, I'd say mine is Pink and White, only because I've been listening to it a lot." He admitted, one hand in the air as he said that last statement with a grin.

It's been a while since you've been able to connect and talk to someone about interesting topics you enjoy. You felt so welcomed, and something about him just warmed your heart, always managing to put a smile on your face every next sentence he spoke.

You could tell he was an open person, someone you could trust. This feeling you get of trust and instant friendship is rare and hard to find, and when you do find it, you've heard that you shouldn't lose it. It's a once in a lifetime chance.

Suddenly, he face palmed and mumbled an 'I'm so dumb,' "Sorry I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Sharky." He held a hand out to you to shake. You took it automatically and with a smile.

"Y/N L/N." Wait, you didn't even register what his name was for a second, and then it just clicked. "Sharky? Like a shark? Is that a nickname?"

"Aha, yeah, that's what I'm nicknamed as my actual name is Sharmarke. It's just that's what I'm better known as." He scratched the back of his neck while looking to the side, a small pink dusting his cheeks.

You were about to ask more on that before you heard more voices enter the room. Both of you turned your heads to see what you assumed was the beta squad, and some camera crew entered.

Sharky turned to you and smiled, "We can talk after, I think we're about to start. These are the rest of the beta squad." He said, standing up and pointing to the four guys. You followed his line of sight and saw them waving at the both of you.

Getting up and coming over to greet them all, you introduced yourself to the three and got their names as Niko, Kenny, and Chunkz. You were about to comment on the last one's name before he put up a hand and pointed to all of himself as his explanation to which he gave a laugh.

The camera crew set up everyone, placing mics on them and doing sound checks on everyone. Putting cameras in two rooms, one for the main video and the other for another part of the video, the part where an individual talks to the camera themselves.

Now you saw that everyone had put on their silly costumes and understood why Aj had asked you previously to bring something too.

You had brought a red riding outfit since it was the only costume-like thing that you had owned. You changed into that, and you went to check out everyone's costumes, or if you didn't know what it was, you asked them.

Kenny was dressed as bigfoot, Chunkz as "Prince of Saudi Arabia", Niko as Sharky, well more specifically a Shark biting him, Sharky as a black viking and Aj a sheep. Quite accurate, you thought with a small giggle.

The lighting in each room took a while to set up as it had to change throughout the video. Green and red lights were the two colours. While getting mic'd up, Niko explained to you the video they were shooting.

A game called Mafia.

"So basically, there's 6 players, 6 cards, 2 for the mafia, 4 for the civilians. The cards are picked at random by all players. The mafia share their identity with each other, while the others close their eyes and are left in the dark. All players open their eyes, and the game is on." Niko spoke as they finished up the sound and led you all to the mafia game room upstairs. He continued to explain the game to you while also showing you a clip of the previous videos on how to play.

"The civilian's job is to find the mafias and get them out. They need to work together in catching these two and not letting them take over. The only problem is they don't know what card everyone else has. The mafia's job is to make all the civilians turn on each other and eventually vote each other out, making them the only remaining players."

"And at the end of every round, one person will be voted out and punished by being dunked into a tank of freezing water, the victim will then reveal their card showing the rest of the players whether they made the right choice or not." Aj laughed as he told you that this was his favourite part of the game. He just hoped he wasn't the one being dunked in the tank.

Everyone sat down in their respective places on the couch. You sat down next to Aj, obviously because he was the closest to you, following Chunkz beside Aj, Niko, and Kenny beside him. Leaving one space beside you, Sharky took that place with a smile on him.

"So the game ends when either both mafias are caught or all civilians are outnumbered and voted out, right?" You asked no one in particular, but they all nodded and that you now understood how the game was played.

You'll admit it does sound fun. You've never heard of this game before, but if it's as fun as it sounds, it probably would end up being one of your favourite games. And as Aj told you before your chance to get over your fear. You don't like being reminded about it, but just for a while, you didn't have to remember.

Looking around the grey but well lit room, you noticed an LED light sign that read "Mafia" in blue, and playing cards that had each beta squad member on it as a king or joker etc.

The camera director told you all it was starting in 1 minute, causing the chatter to cease as quickly so that they could start filming. You glanced to your side as Aj nudged you, giving you a thumbs up and mouthing an "you'll do great," to which you whispered a thanks.

Seeing this interaction, Sharky leaned in towards you but respecting your space and also whispered, "Don't worry, Y/N, it'll be fun." He smiled at you when he saw that the nerves in your face calmed down a little after both of the reassurance you've gotten.

"Camera rolling!" The cameraman shouted.

Aj was the first to speak, "Welcome to another game of Mafia! Please welcome our new guest, drum roll, please!" Everyone was hitting the table to sound a drum roll as they then all pointed at you, "Y/N L/N!" You waved at the camera and thanked everyone.

"Now that we've introduced her, it's time to pick the cards." Sharky glanced at you for a split second when he spoke, before reaching to grab the cards, everyone following suit to do the same.

If the cameras didn't pick it up, then you surely did when you both made eye contact with each other after looking at your card, which was the mafia card. The King. Why did you look at Sharky first after looking at your own card? You really don't know the reason for it. But you couldn't ponder any longer as you had to win this game.

Chunkz did the honour of telling everyone to put down their cards and close their eyes.

"Mafias! Open your eyes." Chunkz said cheekily while dragging out the 'eyes.'

Slowly, you opened your eyes and looked around, trying not to make any noise when you turned as you were still wearing your hood over your head.

Looking towards your right, not Aj, not any of the other boys so that must mean, as you turned your head to the left, you met eyes with Sharky, who smiled instantly and slowly nodded his head while you gave him a smile back.

"Mafias, close your eyes." Chunkz shouted, which caused the both of you to turn your heads back and shut your eyes. "Everyone, open your eyes."

When you opened your eyes, for some reason, you just couldn't hold in your smile. You were excited, genuinely. This already seems fun.

Aj must have caught on to this because he instantly went to attack you on that. "Nah, why you smiling Y/N, are you Mafia?"

"What? Can I not smile?" Damn it, where you about to get caught already? The game just started ain't no way you're letting them think you're mafia.

"Smiling is a bit suspicious, you know? I'm getting mafia vibes from Y/N." Aj turned around to the rest of the guys and pointed at you, who faked being shocked and hurt.

"Wow Aje, you know, you thinking I'm mafia without any other grounds other than me smiling is suspicious in itself. I'm thinking you're targeting me because you're mafia." You stated as a matter of fact, to which the others nodded.

"That does sound like Aj when he's mafia." Kenny said, rubbing his chin while looking at Aj with distrust.

"Yo HOW blud. She's trying to trick you all against me." Aj shouted as he threw both of his arms in the air to prove his point.

"Yeah, I think we should just vote Aj out. Personally, I don't like mafia infested rats." Niko laughed as he looked at the camera saying those last words.

"So all in favour of voting out, Aj?" Sharky spoke now, looking around the room as he raised his hand to see who would follow, and everyone did but Aj, causing the shorter man to stand up and leave, mumbling an "I hate you guys" making the rest of you laugh.

All of you were led outside and were about to watch Aj be dunked into a tank of freezing water. You laugh as you remember Aj saying earlier that the forfeits were his favourite part of the video, oh how the tables have turned for him.

Niko was the one to throw at the dart target board for Aj, he missed the first few times but when he finally made it, seeing Aj's face as he dropped in the water was one that made everyone burst into laughter and excitement.

As he got out of the tank, the boys shouted "Show your card" And when he did, it showed a 5 of spades. Everyone just groaned in disappointment.

"YOU LOT WASTED YOUR TIME, MAFIAS STILL OUT THERE." Aj yelled as he ran back into the house to change out of his now freezing cold clothes.

Obviously everyone knew Aj wasn't the mafia but if he was that would've been great, 1 out. But realistically they just wanted the rat gone. Kenny pointing a suspicious finger at you after Aj showed his card to everyone.

You glanced at Sharky, sending him a quick, worried look as you saw Kenny tell Niko his suspicions. And you both knew what you had to do in the next round.

As everyone sat down, Chunkz was the first to speak, "Now automatically I'm smelling Niko vibes." He giggled afterwards as a shocked and confused look went on Nikos face.

"What? I've not done anything? You can't always target me because you don't like me."

"Okay so Niko, who do you think is the mafia?" Sharky asked, because he knew that once Niko thought that one of you was the mafia, he would stop at no costs to prove his point and he might even end up winning the game.

"Well, earlier, Kenny told me that it could be Y/N. But I mean, you haven't really done anything that would be mafia suspicious in my eyes. But Chunkz keeps targeting me, so now he's my suspect."

You sighed quietly, hoping no one heard that. At least Niko didn't think you or Sharky were mafia.

"Yeah, actually," you started to speak, turning to Chunkz, "Why are you thinking Niko's mafia?"

"Nah, it's because every Mafia, I go for Niko, I just try to show from early that he's not my friend. There's like no coalition."

They all went back and forth with the banter and hurling suspicions left and right and each other, but surprisingly, no one thought you or Sharky were mafia. The only suspects were Niko, Kenny, or Chunkz.

Sure, they suspected you both a few times, but really, they didn't think much of it, as everyone was already pinning it against themselves they didn't have time to suspect you both fully.

Until the last round, Chunkz had been voted off and seeing as his card wasn't a king card the suspicions now turned to you again. Kenny was the first to pounce again on the argument.

"Listen, Niko, I'm thinking Y/N is mafia. One hundred percent, no doubt. But I think Sharky might be the other mafia. I'm not too sure about that."

"Niko, don't listen to him, I promise you, I am not Mafia." You looked at Niko and put on your best innocent face.

"I don't know, to be honest, I'm baffed." Niko threw his hands in the air in confusion and placed a hand over his mouth to think. "Then again, big foot here isn't really giving me much evidence to question on."

"Yeah, but it's not about evidence!" Kenny shouted, and it caused the rest of you to laugh at how serious he's being, even if he was telling the truth, you were a mafia. "Oh my days, Niko, can't you see? They literally are both mafia!"

"Niko man, vote out, Kenny, because clearly he is mafia by trying to lure you in and win. There is one other mafia. I think it's Y/N if not you. At least get one of them out." You turned your head as Sharky spoke those words. You thought he was supposed to work together with you?

But then he sent a sly wink and smile towards your way, if you blinked you would've missed it and then it hit you, if Niko voted our Kenny here, you and Sharky would've won, both the mafias would be left standing winners.

And so when it came to the vote, it started with Kenny voting for you, then it was up to Niko, who looked back and forth between you and Kenny, you pleaded one last time with him.

"Look Niko, if I was mafia I would've been out by now, this is my first time playing. If you think it's me, vote for me by all means but if you just use your brain you could clearly see Kenny is mafia."

And with that, Niko agreed and voted Kenny, leaving you and Sharky to vote for him as well. Instantly after the votes were complete, Kenny stood up and left yelling at the camera as he didn't want to get dunked in water.

But as soon as he did, and when he showed his card making him a civilian, you and Sharky both shouted and jumped with joy, while Niko just stood there mouth agape as he slowly went to cover his mouth still being shocked and the rest of the boys yelled at Niko for being an idiot.

While you and Sharky celebrated, he went up to wrap his arms around you while yelling "We did it!!"

And you laughed along, hugging him back. When you did, it instantly felt comfortable, being in his arms felt safe. You didn't know what it was, why did it make you feel all fuzzy?

It reminded you of your mother's hugs when you were a kid, and you won something, the genuine happiness and excitement you found in that hug reflected Sharky's hug. It felt familiar and you wouldn't admit it if anyone asked you but you could stay in that hug forever.

Maybe you lingered in that hug for a second too long as the others started teasing Sharky, saying ooo, and Chunkz started singing, causing him to let go of you as quick.

After they calmed down a bit, they filmed the outro, and thanked you as their guest, and they allowed you to do the honors of saying, "play the trailer."

After they finished the filming, you grabbed your belongings, and headed towards the bathroom to change out of your red riding outfit.

Just as you were about to enter, you heard your name being called, you turned your head to see Sharky running up to you with a wave.

When he finally reached you, you gave him a small smile to which he returned it and then rubbed the back of his neck while looking away.

"Hey, I just wanted to ask if you'd like to hang out sometime?" Sharky asked, a small cough erupting out of him at the end of his sentence. As he gazed back at you with those same soft brown eyes.

You were about to say sure, but then you hesitate. Why did he want to hang out with you? Did he mean romantically or platonically? And if you were about to fall in love again, you didn't know how you would feel about it. The last relationship you had, let's say … didn't end nicely.

But you were thinking too far ahead, for now you could make friends. And you always stick to the same branch of people that you hang out with, and these guys all seem really nice, and Sharky did have the same interest as you in music so why not?

"Sure, I'd, uh, I'd like that." You hated that against your own will. Your cheeks started to burn a little. You just hoped it wasn't noticeable to him.

"Yes!" He did a mini punch in the air but then realised what he did and scratched his head and cleared his throat, "I mean, that's great. Could I get your number? If you're okay with that, that is?"

Nodding, he quickly took out his phone and handed it to you, and you typed in your number, putting your contact name in too. He waited patiently as you did and when you handed it back to him, he called the number and the phone in your pocket buzzed.

He smiled and thanked you, "Hey, you know we make a good team. You actually did really well for your first mafia game."

"We do," You laughed, "you guys should invite me more on your mafia videos."

Sharky was about to say something when Aj yelled, "Hey lovebirds! I gotta drop Y/N back off so be quick and finish your conversation!"

Your eyes widened, Lovebirds?? Oh hell no, Aj's not getting away with that, you mumbled under your breath. Glancing up at Sharky to see his reaction he had the same reaction as you, but he just rolled his eyes and smiled at you saying that he'll leave you to it and pointed at the clothes you were holding. He waved as left to head towards the group.

Going into the bathroom and shutting the door, you looked at the mirror. Damn it, you were blushing. Shaking your head, this was gonna be a long car ride.

When you were done changing, you walked towards the door, where Aj was standing, waiting for you on his phone, when he looked up at you he rolled his eyes and said finally.

"Alright, I'm gonna drop Y/N off. See you guys later!" He yelled into the house, causing the boys to yell out a bye to you, and Niko popped around the corner to shake your hand and say bye to you.

"By the way, Y/N, all that banter that we said earlier, that was just for the video, so don't mind it." Niko admitted, waving a hand off towards Aj, who just laughed as he agreed with him, and then you both left to head to the car.

"So, what was that all about, ay?" Aj teased, as he had a smug grin on his face. As he glanced over at you, who was there looking straight ahead on the road, trying to avoid this conversation.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You shrugged, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Y/N, cmon, don't think I didn't see that idiot Sharks flirt with you."

"Flirt? I don't think he was flirting, he was just being friendly. We just met after all."

"Nah, he definitely was. Knowing Sharks, he just sucks at flirting. Actually," he started as he turned into the street you lived in. "Yeah, maybe he might just be friendly. But I'll be honest, it looked like flirting to me, Y/N. So just be careful. Don't want him breaking your heart or vice versa aight?"

You scoffed. Aj was definitely overreacting with this. But it did make you think, was he really flirting with you? Or was he just being overly friendly. You hoped it was the latter, though. You don't think you could handle a relationship right now.

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

He watched as the car drove away, and when he turned around, he was frightened to see Chunkz looking at him with a sly smirk on his face. He just rolled his eyes as he made his way towards the couch, Chunkz following him as he continued to pester the other Somali.

"Oh my days, I know I made it so awkward. You know how awkward that was? I'm not good with girls at all." Sharky covered his face with hands as he slouched down onto the couch and sighed.

"You seemed fine when you hugged her." Chunkz did his famous laugh, as he went to sit beside Sharky.

"Stop, man, that was just -" Sharky cut himself off. What was that hug actually? Shaking his head, he cleared his throat as he pulled out his phone to ignore looking at Chunkz. "A winning hug. Like I hug all of you when we win a game."

"A winning hug? Sharky, you're a joke man. I know you fell in love instantly, bruva." He elbowed his friend as he laughed in his face. Causing the fellow Somali to pull over his hood to cover his face, which started to warm up.

Fell in love instantly? Sharky's not like that. Or was he? He didn't know at this point, just the very thought of you got his face heating up and the flutter of wings in his stomach grew out of nowhere. You've got him second-guessing himself. Usually, he's a confident guy, but now.

Now, he's definitely not.

Sharky was in the kitchen when he first saw you, he was making something to eat while waiting for the guys to arrive back at the house, but that's when he saw you walk toward the couch and sit there like you owned the place.

He was about to ask who you were, but then he remembered there was a guest for today's video. Normally, he would just call out loud and make his presence known, but he was caught off guard by your singing or, well, whispering the words to a song.

A song to which he also listened to.

He started to smile after hearing the words to the song you were singing. He leaned back against the counter to listen, but he then decided it would be a bit weird if he just stood there listening to you without you knowing, and that's how he decided to confront you.

As he moved closer to you, he realised how pretty you were. Like genuinely pretty, stunning even. The way your face smiled in that look of content as you listened to the music and-

Oh no. Maybe Chunkz was right.

You head down the stairs to make your breakfast. It was about a week since you met the beta squad. And you were currently at home. You just finished getting ready to go on your morning run.

Usually, you don't go on runs in the morning as you'd sleep in, but for some reason, you had the urge to just get up and exercise.

As you were making your breakfast, a classic bowl of cereal and toast, your phone buzzed on the table. Turning your head, you stopped making the cereal and opened your phone, and checked the notifications.

A big smile cracked on your face against your will as you read the text from Sharky.

Message sent at 8:16 am

Sharky 🦈

Good morning 👋🏻

I was thinking, do you wanna … maybe hang out today?

IF YOU'RE NOT BUSY THAT IS😅

You 💟

Morning Sharky !

Nah I'm not busy, where do you wanna go?

Sharky 🦈

Hmm, wherever you want! I don't mind honestly 😁

You 💟

Ok, how about let's meet up in the park since I'm gonna go on a run there anyway and we'll see where it goes from there 😂

I'll see you at 9

Sharky 🦈

👍

See you then ❤️

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

You stared at the message he last sent, "See you then ❤️"

Oh my days, you're going nuts over a heart emoji? You thought, internally slapping yourself, but you can't help but look over the message, and then you shook your head. Get yourself together, you send hearts to everyone, why did it surprise you when he did?

Finally taking the pieces of toast, and finishing off your cereal. You ate as quickly as you could, as soon as you finished it you grabbed your house keys and headed out to the park.

Locking your door, you put on your headphones and play your music playlist. You start to jog towards the park. You were thinking of running, but maybe you'll save that last bit of energy when you're closer to the park.

It was a chilly morning, the cool, crisp air hitting your body, but not enough to make you freeze, especially since you were jogging.

You don't remember the last time you jogged, maybe a few weeks or months, who knows at this point. Perhaps the conversation you had with Aj last time slightly may have hinted that Sharky does like his runs in the morning.

Is that what motivated you to run? Or was it just the fact that you haven't been out in a while?

The warmth hit you as soon as you closed in near the park. It wasn't that far from your house, maybe about 20-24 minutes.

You reached the entrance of the park, the soft scent of the array of flowers surrounded the area, and the tall trees moved with the gentle breeze.

People walked around the park, and some kids played as they ran around the park, chasing each other and shouting with joy when they caught up.

Nearing a bench, you sat down and pulled out your phone, checking the time, 8:42 am.

Maybe he was here already?

You hesitated. Should you call or text him? You ended up calling Sharky to see if he was here already or not. The phone rang twice before he picked up the phone.

"Hey Y/N, I'm at the park where are you?" Sharky's voice spoke through the phone.

"Just near the entrance, I'm sitting at a bench, uh," looking around, you tried to describe your surroundings, "near this really tall tree."

You heard him laugh softly through the phone, instantly causing you to smile and ask, "What's so funny?"

"Nah, it's because you said you're near this really tall tree, but Y/N, there's trees everywhere." He laughed again, making you roll your eyes but still have a smile on your face.

You ended up sending him your location, and he followed it, finally making his way as he caught sight of you sitting on the bench.

He stood there for a split second because call him crazy if you will, but he swore he saw some light shine upon you as the trees moved their way to do so. He softened his gaze, as the scene in front of him seemed like a movie.

It was a chilly day, yes, but somehow the sun came around just as he arrived. And especially when he saw you, the trees, sunlight and wind might have been paid actors if it wasn't for the fact that they're not people.

"Is this seat taken?" A familiar voice spoke as you looked up and met eyes with Sharky, who smiled as soon as you did. You motioned for him to take the seat beside you, and he gladly did.

The sounds of the park all muffled out, no person walking past, the rustle of trees in the breeze or even the cars on the far side could be heard as you drowned out all noise to listen to the Somali in front of you.

As you both talked, you ended up deciding to head to a cafe nearby, just to grab a drink, to talk and get to know each other. The walk wasn't that far and it was a small cafe.

A blue and white awning hung over the entrance and window of the shop, the inside was decorated nicely with tables and chairs surrounding the room. The warmth from the coffee being made radiated throughout the cafe, and the smell of baked goods added to it.

Both of you waited in line to order your drinks and pastries if you were feeling like it. You stared at the menu board behind the counter, looking at what to order. They had a wide range of drinks and food. Checking the prices beside them surely they couldn't be-

Why the hell are they so expensive??? You thought a small cafe like this would surely have good prices, but this was insane. £6.80 for a coffee? Crazy. And that was the cheapest thing there.

"What ya thinking of getting?" Sharky asked, leaning down to ask while still keeping his eyes on the menu board. You looked up at him briefly and made eye contact, causing you to turn your head swiftly back to the menu and pretend to look at it.

"Hmm, I was thinking of getting just the coffee because it's the cheapest thing there." You scoffed, shaking your head at the insane prices of this place.

"Just coffee? You could get something else too. You know I'm paying right?" He blurted that out like you were supposed to know that already, a giant grin forming on his face. You raised your brows, surprised.

"No, it's alright," you waved him off, "I can pay for my own one."

"Cmon Y/N, I insist." He started to grab his wallet from back pocket, but you stopped him by pushing his hand away from reaching it.

"Well, then I insist back?? And I don't want you to waste your money."

"It's not a waste if it's for you, plus I asked to hang out with you today. It's the least I could do." He shrugged, finally managing to reach for his wallet without you stopping him.

You were about to argue on that until he shot you a look, and you ended up rolling your eyes and accepting. Inside, you were grateful. At least your wallet was saved.

"Fine." You sighed. When you looked back at him, he had a smug grin on his face. He looked as if he had achieved the impossible, but he laughed when he saw the frown on your face.

He ordered for the both of you, and you waited for about three minutes before you collected your coffee and a pastry.

Heading over to a table that had two free seats, you sat down across from each other. Sipping your drink as he started a conversation. Turning to face you as he put down his own cup of tea.

"You have a channel, right? What videos do you make?" Sharky asked, genuinely curious since he didn't actually know much about you being an influencer.

"Honestly, I haven't made many videos, just a few prank videos with Aj and some beauty videos. A mix of everything I'd say." Chuckling as you took another sip of your coffee. He nodded at your answer and smiled.

"What else do you like to do then? Do you have any hobbies?" Laying his hand on his chin as his soft eyes met your gaze.

"Um," you ponder for a bit, "I like music, and I sing," you hesitate, scratching the side of your head, "well sometimes."

"Ohh, of course!" He throws his hands up in realisation, "Frank Ocean! So you like singing, that's good to know."

"Maybe one day you could put on a show and sing for me." Sharky's lips curled into a small smile, creasing the outer corner of his eyes. And seeing your face get slightly warmer only made his smile grow wider.

It seemed as if you've talked forever, the way the conversations you've had with him flowed like honey. Almost as if you've known him your whole life, it was almost … comforting.

You don't know how you ended up talking about football, but it led to a conversation with him explaining the basic mechanics and how it's "so easy" even a baby could do it.

"You really don't know how to play football?"

Seeing you shake your head, must've lit a light bulb in his head, as his gaze turned from one of confusion to his sienna brown eyes widening.

"Unacceptable." He shook his head and stood up, taking your hand in his as he left you out of the cafe.

By the looks of the sky, it was evening already, the sun slowly setting as the sky painted a canvas of light orange hues and yellow rays.

You laughed, still holding on to his grasp, "Where are we going?" As he led you both down the street.

Your laugh rang in his ears, a small thing motivating him to stay by your side. It was angelic. You may not have thought so, but to him, if his heart had melted from it, he would fix it all up just to hear it again.

He brought you to a stadium, a football stadium. The grand entrance of the place staring you in the face as he entered in with some ID card and brought you to the pitch.

"I'm teaching you how to play football." Sharky spoke as he grabbed a nearby football that was lying in a basket full of other ones. Putting one hand on his hips as he beckoned you to come closer.

You were in awe of the stadium, it was huge, and it especially looked amazing in the evening, the peach coloured rays hitting the walls of the stadium emitting a soft hue around the pitch.

"How were you able to even get in?" You inquired of him, slowly walking closer to him as you looked around the stadium.

He led you to the middle of the huge pitch. The whole stadium was empty, except you thought you saw two cleaners, but other than them, it was just you and Sharky on the field.

He grinned, "Perks of being an ex-emirates stadium worker. Plus, I'm a youtuber, they know me." Putting a hand on his chest, as it was something that always deeply touched him.

"So," He started, as he kicked the football to go in front of him, "I'll show you how to kick the football first." He motioned for you to come closer, pointing at his right foot as he told you to kick it with the side of your foot instead of the tip.

He took a few steps back and sped up towards the ball and kicked it just as he showed you, evidently making a goal.

Earning a cheer from you, to which he gave a small bow, running up to get the ball back and placing it in front of you. "Now you try." He placed his hands on his hips as he waited for you. You looked at him as your face contorted into one of confusion.

"Uh, I don't think I'll be able to score a goal just like that? "

"Well, try it first then you can complain." He laughed, ushering you forward towards the ball, you looked at him and then back at the ball.

'Well here goes nothing' you thought and tried to kick as Sharky showed you, but you ended up only kicking it more than a meter away from you, and heading off to an angle to your right.

You heard a small snort come from Sharky as he tried not to laugh at that kick, earning an embarrassed chuckle from you, as you tried to shorten yourself from this situation.

Making Sharky feel bad so he put on a smile for you, to make you feel less awkward about this, he really did want you to learn and he has tons of patience so this would be really easy he thought.

"Yeah, maybe we should practice other things before goals. I realised that may be a bit difficult." He rubbed his chin, thinking of what to do next and his brows raised as it came to him.

He moved towards the storage room and brought out a few cones, placing them in a row in front of you, measuring the width of the spacing between each cone with his own body, he placed six cones in a row.

Taking the ball back and bringing it near the both of you, he started to move it between his feet, looking up at you as he did.

"So what I'm doing right now is called dribbling." Slowly moving towards the cones, the football still between his feet as he demonstrated going around the cones left and then right, up until the very end where he repeated it again heading back to you.

"Dribbling is basically just moving the ball between your feet, like kicking it a little."

Passing the ball to you as you stopped it with your foot, the small of your lips turning upwards, "You could practice by going around each cone and coming back to me here."

You nodded, placing it between your feet, moving closer to the cones as you tried to kick it back and forth between your feet, but it's easier said than done. As you tried but ultimately failed, crashing into the cones as you almost tripped over the ball, trying to go through the cones.

Causing a small laugh to come out of Sharky, as he walked over to you and extended a hand to help you up. He put the cones back in their place and let you try again, repeating to you how to do it as he watched you try to dribble between the cones. Evidently crashing into them again, at least it wasn't all of them this time.

After a couple more training sessions (more like failed attempts) you managed to do somewhat of a decent job at dribbling and sometimes you scored a goal. Almost always you earned a high five from Sharky, even if you did fail an attempt, he'd just smile and say we can try again. Never did he sigh and give up.

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

"Wait, what did you just do right there?" You asked, after he suggested you can take a break, since you seemed out of breath after all the training.

You were kicking the ball back towards the seating area when Sharky quickly kicked the ball from beneath you, taking it back towards him as he tossed it up into his hands.

"This? It's called a nutmeg, you simply just kick the ball through your opponent's legs, to retrieve it back so that they won't have it anymore."

You laughed, sitting down in one of the chairs, gazing up at Sharky as he messed around with the ball. "I thought nutmeg was a spice?"

He furrowed his brows for a split second and then let out a laugh, "Yeah, it is, but that's just the term for it. We're not really cooking here, are we?" Shrugging his shoulders as he went to sit beside you.

A soft silence filled the area, as both you and Sharky didn't speak a word. Even the usual white noise, when things got quiet, couldn't be heard, but instead, a delicate soft breathing between the two of you.

Fiddling with your thumbs as you stared at your feet. When is there ever just silence? Normally overpowering the peace, the sounds would get louder, the steady rhythm of your beating heart, sometimes going off track to stumble you.

But now, it's at ease, the quietness, an instant comfort to soothe your mind and heart. Lifting your head up to look around the stadium, it's not normally quiet in a place like this, but now, now is a rare time.

Sharky was looking at you now, eyes softening at your figure, the way you're peacefully sitting here, content, and the soft breathing from you showing him that you're alright with him being here. Alright, with him being beside you. And that, that's what makes him smile.

"You know what," you say, suddenly standing up and placing your hand on your hips, catching him off guard as he didn't expect you to move suddenly, "Let's do a 1v1."

Sharky squints slightly, uncertainty written upon his face, "Are you sure? It seems a bit unfair from my point of view."

"Are you doubting me?" You scoff, picking up the football that was tossed to the side earlier and holding it in your arms.

He laughed quietly, gazing up at you with his brown doe eyes, "Not at all."

Both of you moved towards the centre of the pitch, placing the ball in the middle of you and Sharky. You glanced up to see he was already looking at you. You thought it was to prepare himself, but something was telling you it was anything but that, behind his eyes. Shaking off the thought and ignoring it, you stood ground and prepared for the 1v1.

"Don't go easy on me." You grinned, winking at that statement.

He pretended to think for a minute but then smirked and locked eyes with you, "Never, don't worry. First, to score wins."

He counted to three, and you both aimed towards the ball, you managed to grab it first but he took it off of you, heading towards the goal while dribbling, you tried to run after him but then you saw that he was about to make a goal.

You remember him doing a nutmeg, earlier and thought maybe this was your ticket to victory, moving closer as you ran beside him trying to get the football.

But as you did, your foot got caught on his ankle causing you to spin. Your eyes widen as you see him fall back and you shut them waiting for impact.

Only when opening them do you find yourself fallen.

on top.

of Sharky.

It was too fast to stop it, and both of you didn't react until it was too late. Landing on his chest, you slowly lifted your head up to see him, his hand reaching to touch the back of his head. Your brows furrowed in worry, and pupils written in fear.

You watched as his gaze instantly shot to you, raising his head just as quick and the same worried expression you had on your face, reflecting his own one. "Are you alright?"

"No! Wait yes, I mean, are you alright? I should be asking you, not the other way around…"

Your voice trailing off, you found yourself frozen in place, a shiver of nervousness hitting your skin. Despite your brains commands to move, your body ignored it.

As part of you wanted to get up, the brain telling you to do so, the common sense in this situation, but your longing heart, the other, just wanted to keep looking into his dark eyes and get lost in them.

Dark chocolate rays fanning out around the bottomless pit of an iris, inky crescent moons trapped by a hazy, black limbal ring.

Those eyes are the colour of every tree in the forest, richer, due to the golden light from dawn to dusk. The warmth of an eternal hearth felt in those deep brown eyes.

Holding eye contact was the strongest thing you could have ever done. An achievement, a rare feeling inside of you bubbling up just waiting to come out.

For a second, you thought you imagined it, but reality hit you as you see his eyes flicker to your lips. Your mind finally taking over the reins, causing your heart to match the speed of the beads of sweat falling down.

You blinked, clearing your throat and getting up off of Sharky. You got up, stumbling, almost tripping on your own foot as you do so. The normal colour of your cheeks suddenly changing to a red hue as the warmth builds up.

Why can't you function properly today?? Placing a hand on your face, you can feel the warmth radiating, no doubt an obvious hue, seeping and shown through, you could not let him see you like this.

His brows knitted together as he took a glimpse at you, and he shifted to sit upwards, What happened? What did I do? Sharky thought, as he observed you, watching as you stood there covering your face with your hands.

Standing up now, rushing to your side, he put a hand on your shoulder as he tried to get your attention, "Are you okay?"

The smoky sound of his voice, making you feel intoxicated. The sound of your heart beating like crazy rang through your ears as you could barely make out the words Sharky was saying. Your breathing, quickening, and uneven, why were you like this?

Sharky didn't know what was happening at this point, he guessed maybe you were a bit overwhelmed with the whole football thing, and tired from all the running. He was worried but he didn't want to overthink it if it was a minor issue.

"Do you want some water?" He offered, handing you an extra bottle of water, he brought with him earlier.

"Uh, yeah…" You accepted, nodding your head frantically and taking the water from him, "Thank you." turning away from him as you drank.

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

The night sky was aglow with the bright city lights of London, the shades of navy and black painted across the sky like a giant canvass, and yet the stars fought their way onto this canvass, outnumbering and conveying their glow to the eyes of people.

You were heading home now, and even though you insisted you'd be fine heading back yourself, Sharky wouldn't take no for an answer and made sure that you had to return home safely.

Walking beside each other as a small breeze hits your backs. Sometimes when you walked your hand would brush against his, and your stomach would get butterflies. Causing you to pull your hand back but not enough to make it too obvious.

The touch was electric, one that sent your nervous system to jealousy, but you couldn't help but think about it. The soft touch of his hand, what would it be like to hold it again? But… longer?

Little did you know, he was thinking the exact same thing. Earlier, he did manage to grab your hand, but only for a short spur of the moment. It wasn't technically holding your hand. It was more of a… guiding you.

Sharky wasn't gonna back down this time. He had an amazing time with you. Your laugh, your smile? He really didn't want it to end. Just one day isn't enough time with you.

How did he do it before? How did he manage to take hold of your hand earlier? Maybe it was because he wasn't overthinking back then, but now he was.

I've done way more scarier things, I got this. He reminded himself, taking a deep breath to prepare, hyping up himself as he tried to get rid of the nerves.

3… 2… 1… He reached out for your hand, but you suddenly stopped in your tracks. Turning to face the other way, he retracted his hand.

"This is my stop." You mention, as you came to a stop in front of the pathway of your home.

Shit, Sharky sighed, gaze turning to the floor. There goes that opportunity, he sighed. Why couldn't he have just done it faster?

"Alright… uh, I'm gonna go? Thank you for walking me home, Sharky." You beamed at him, flashing a shy smile as you tried to hug him goodbye.

Clearly, he didn't know it was going to be a hug because he tried to elbow bump or more of a fistbump you instead. You tried to motion to him that it was a hug and he ended up realising it with a laugh, then engulfed you in a hug, wrapping his arms around your waist as you wrapped yours around his shoulders.

"Of course," He spoke just above a whisper into the hug, and smiled to himself, good thing you couldn't see his face right now because if you could, rosy cheeks dusted his face and a wide smile stuck on his face.

If you could stay in this hug, you would, the warmth radiating from it shielding you from the night breeze. The soft fabric of his clothing hugged your figure as it provided comfort in his arms.

As you tried to pull apart, a piece of your jewelry got caught on a stray thread of his jumper, an awkward chuckle coming out the both of you as you attempted to try and just break the thread off of your necklace.

Instead, it just made the thread longer, to which you just resorted to taking off your necklace and handing it to Sharky, giving up on trying to remove the stray piece of thread.

"Just… when you get home, cut it off and give it back when you next see me." You say, a tinge of hope in your voice, hoping that he did want to see you again.

But your worries were gone when you saw him flash you a smile while he gave you a nod, holding your necklace in his hand.

As you both walk your separate ways, you're both thinking, "Why the hell, did I make that awkward?"

Days turned into weeks, and during that whole time, you'd hang out with the beta squad more and more, being in their videos to just movie nights and snacks, which included more time spent with Sharky. He did give back the necklace after a couple days, but from your perspective it looked as if he was busy those couple days.

But in reality, he was debating what day to give it back to you and how. Should it have been a gift he gives you along with the necklace? Or just hand it back to you normally? He did the latter, but it did really mess him up, a flustered mess thinking how he actually had something of yours with him.

Throughout the weeks going by, Sharky invited you to join in his videos, the fans loved you with the beta squad so he thought it would be a great thing to have you on his channel. He said it would be great for your channel too but honestly in his heart, he just craved to spend more time with you.

Every minute with you was precious, every moment and every smile. Hearing your voice, brightened his whole day, yes his heart would race and yes his breathing would be uneven thinking about you. But it didn't matter, none of it mattered as long as he was by your side.

You made everything better, and he knew it, in fact he wished every day would be with you.

He had learned a lot just by hanging out with you for videos or even just football sessions. He loved listening to your voice as you talked about your passions or just random things that came to your mind. He'd often smile as you talked, sometimes not even realising he was staring at your features.

Gazing at you was like daydreaming outside a window, it wasn't much to people on the outside, but to himself, it was something he couldn't stop himself from doing. It was addicting to say the least. You've got him hooked from the start.

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

"No. Way. You have to come over right now, spill all the tea."

You let out a laugh, currently you were on a call with your friend, trying to catch up but she realised it wasn't easy to get to know all that's happened through the phone so she arranged for you to meet at her place later today.

She drove to your house, waiting in the driveway as you hurriedly got out of your house, locking the door as you left. And making your way to her car.

The weather wasn't the best, it could've been better but the raindrops hitting against the roof of the car and the floor outside didn't seem that the weather was going to get better anytime soon.

On the way to her place, she started to tell you stuff that's been going on for the past couple of weeks, exciting things and sometimes boring ones, you'd be honest sometimes you could fall asleep to what she says at times.

When you arrived at her house, she got you some warmer clothes and brought you a hot drink. Thanking her as you took a seat on her couch, her following suit.

As soon as she sat down, you knew she was going to ask you what happened in your life so far. Usually, you'd laugh and say nothing much, as she almost basically told her whole life story in the car. But this time, there was something interesting to talk about.

More like… someone.

Explaining the start of when you met Sharky, to the football training, the videos and the hangouts you told her all about the fun, but you also told her about how you couldn't function at times around him.

When you finished telling everything, she put a hand on your shoulder and looked deeply into your eyes, "You're in love, no doubt in my mind."

"Are you joking? In love?" You scoffed, averting your gaze from her to the mug you were holding, sloshing around the liquid inside of it.

"You're so delusional. Can you not see it?" She sighed in exasperation, throwing her head back to lean it against the couch.

"Last time I was in love, it didn't really turn out well." You mumbled an air of melancholy surrounding you as it clouded your features. Placing the cup onto the table as you crossed your arms in front of you and leaning back.

"Hey," She turned to you, nudging you to make you face her, "Your ex was a piece of shit." You let out a small chuckle as she continued. "You didn't ruin anything. He ruined it."

"This Sharky you're talking about clearly isn't like that. From what you're describing to me anyway. And clearly, you like him." She grins, a stupid grin on her face.

"I don't—"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that again." She cuts you off, glaring and raising one brow at you.

Your mouth snapped shut, pressing into a thin line. She has a point, one that you couldn't argue on, and even if tried, it would make you look stupid.

"C'mon, you can't deny that you didn't like that date." She teased, a knowing smirk lingering on her face as she drank the rest of her coffee.

"What date?" You raised eyebrows surprised, turning to face her.

"You know, where y'all went to a restaurant and then he taught you how to play football after?" She giggled as she saw the look on your face.

You rolled your eyes playfully, shoving her arm slightly, "Stop messing around. We didn't go on a date! It was a friendly hangout. He sees me as a friend for sure."

She gave you a look which said really? Are you kidding me?

"But is that really all he is to you?"

You gulped and thought about it, shifting your gaze to the ground. Your mind suddenly goes back to the past weeks.

When your hand would brush against his, or when his arm would be pushed near yours in a tight space, your heart would race each time without fail, and you'd think about it for days.

Or when he'd speak, his voice warm and calm, like a flowing river, soothing to one's heart. And that's how he made you feel, all warm and fuzzy on the inside, a tingle in your stomach building up.

When you'd happen to look across the room and he was standing there so perfectly, talking about something you couldn't hear with a glimmer in his eyes and the corners of his lips upturned.

And when he'd notice you looking, turning his gaze to your direction and you'd stare into his dark golden eyes, suddenly everything around you would blur out, the voice of someone speaking disappeared, and the sound of your surroundings vanished. And all you'd notice was … Sharky.

"Just date already!" Your friend laughed, cutting you out of your thoughts, shaking your head to focus again.

You would laugh it off, but the truth was that you were scared on the inside. You didn't want it to end up like your last relationship, cold and cut off. But then again, Sharky wasn't your ex. Sharky was a whole different person.

You had promised before that you wouldn't love for a long time, to heal you had said, you roll your eyes at that, you couldn't stay away.

Why? Because here you are catching feelings.

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

The talk with your friend really made you think this week, made you think a lot, actually. Maybe you'd try to accept that you've fallen in love, but it's hard when you don't even know if the other person feels the same way.

It's honestly so frustrating, and yet you hate that you love the way he's making you act up like this. It's like a high school girl with a stupid crush.

You don't even know if you've been obvious to him this whole time.

But you had to ignore it, just for today, because right now you were heading to the beta squad house to film a video for Sharky's channel. A general knowledge video is what he mentioned to you.

As you arrived at the house, you were greeted by Niko as he brought you along to the sitting room. Aj, Chunkz, and Sharky were standing there talking to the camera crew.

While you walked in, you caught the eye of Sharky, waving to you as soon as he saw you, of course you waved back, but this time you took more notice of Sharky, specifically the way his eyes lit up as soon as he saw you.

Or maybe it was the way Chunkz elbowed him in the ribs immediately after Sharky waved at you, a knowing smirk on his face as he switched his focus between the both of you.

Niko turned to all of you, reminding you all that the video would start in 10 minutes, "So if you guys need to do anything, now's the time not later."

"Oh! That reminds me we've gotta get the boxes for the challenge upstairs." Sharky added, heading towards the door, but stopping before he reached it, half turning to face you all with a questioning look.

"Anyone gonna help me?"

"We three are a bit busy so," Chunkz stated, Shrugging his shoulders as he put on a cheeky smile. "Y/N can help you with that? Right Y/N?" Chunkz wrapped an arm around your shoulders as he observed his friend's reaction.

You glanced between Chunkz and Sharky, both of them waiting for your answer. You nodded hesitantly before following Sharky upstairs.

There were forfeits to this challenge, most of them being hidden in boxes that you'd have to find out during the recording of the video.

As you both walked towards the room, you hated that your hands started to sweat, and your heart started to race. The silence was deafening to your ears, you wanted to break the silence but what could you say? But you didn't have to worry much as he ended up speaking first.

Sharky cleared his throat as he opened the door, revealing a small room that had a poster covering the walls, some few items scattered around the floor and the stack of boxes, "We don't have to take them all in one go, by the way."

"Obviously not." You giggled, watching as he moved towards the boxes only to stop after hearing your sarcasm.

"Sorry." You groaned, diverting your gaze as you covered half of your face with your hand out of embarrassment.

He rolled his eyes at your response, shaking his head with a small smile.

With your help almost all of the boxes had been brought down in no time, leaving only a couple of things on the bed. You were so focused on actually helping that you hadn’t noticed Sharky walk in whilst you were picking up the cards with the questions on them.

His hand grazed over yours, slightly brushing just the back of your hand, but it was enough to make you freeze and make your heart beat like crazy.

Your mind was all over the place, nervous and flustered. Your gaze darted up and down and all over him, struggling to focus. As you glanced at his face you noticed something different…

He wasn't wearing his usual backwards hat or a durag this time, but just his hair, the way the curls formed faultlessly on top of his head, accentuating the rest of his features. He'd be on the front cover of a modelling magazine, and you could stare at it all day long.

And when he looked at you, oh boy, that's when you knew you were in for it. You can't go back, you've fallen too far ahead now. Those eyes, they hypnotise you, draw you in instantly and it's hard to get out.

"Stop looking at me like that." You half-rolled your eyes, but the corners of your mouth started to curl up against your will.

"Like what?" He chuckled, making your heart skip a beat once again. Genuinely smiling and you could tell he was curious to know what you meant as he leaned just maybe an inch closer than he already was.

When you look at me and it speaks a thousand words when our voices couldn't and when our gaze crosses from a distance, and it fills my heart with comfort.

The way your eyes have that slight crinkle at the corner of them and that makes your face the cutest when you smile and makes my heart skip a beat, all. the. damn. time.

And when those eyes are looking only at me.

"Nevermind," You dismiss him waving a hand, while looking away, missing to see that he frowns, he has that longing behind his eyes to ask what you meant but he knew he shouldn't pry any further, he didn't want to scare you away.

But he had to know. His mind couldn't stop his curious heart, and so he moved without thought, stepping closer towards you and grabbing your waist.

You yelped at the sudden closeness, eyes widening in shock at how close you both were. His face leaning towards yours with longing eyes, his lips slightly upturned at your reaction as your face started burning.

"Tell me." Sharky breathed, his eyes flickering to your lips for a second too long before gazing back into your eyes.

He was too close, too close that you could see all of his features, the small crinkle on the side of his smile, the unrivalled shape of his eyes, making him unique.

And you'd dare say you also saw a small pink dusting his cheeks.

He was too close, too close that you could feel his breath upon your lips, just centimetres away from you.

His lips looked inviting,

craving something from you.

Asking you to complete it, to fill in that emptiness, it so longed for.

Or maybe you were the one that longed for it?

And you watched as it slowly formed into a smile, glancing back up to the eyes of the owner.

You could see that he was inching closer and closer, your heart denying your every wish to stay calm.

Your mind was frightened, scared of the outcome; it was like stepping on glass, afraid to fall into nothingness and yet your heart thrived in it, determined to see through it.

Honestly, you could move, you should move. It was the smart thing to do.

And yet why didn't you move? You could've moved, told him you weren't okay with him being that close.

But you just… couldn't? It was like you were frozen in place, stuck, bound to stay here for eternity.

And so maybe that's why you shut your eyes slowly.

Waiting to accept the invitation.

But the creaking of a door opening made both of you jump and pull away, swiftly turning your heads to see who it was.

Niko raised his eyebrows, glancing back and forth between the two of you, "Am I interrupting something here?" His mouth formed into a thin line as he scratched the back of his neck, silence dawning upon his answer.

Only until a cough came from Sharky, did Niko return back to his normal self, disregarding what he said earlier and advancing towards the middle of the room, lifting a box, "Guys, we're starting the shoot in 3 minutes and you both didn't even bring down one last box?"

Walking to the door before turning to the two of you, "By the way, when I said earlier, if you have something to do, do it now. This is not what I meant." He laughed, bolting downstairs not to see yours or Sharky's reaction.

Sharky rolled his eyes, scoffing as he couldn't help but let a smile sneak on his face, as he placed his hands in his pockets. "We better head back down, I guess."

You nodded, swallowing the nerves as you took the cards back into your hands, walking beside Sharky downstairs, avoiding any contact with him.

Throughout the whole video, your mind just couldn't focus. Your thoughts going back to earlier, what would have happened if Niko didn't walk in? What would you have done if he didn't? Was Sharky even trying to kiss you and you were just delusional?

Aj kept snapping his fingers in your face every time he noticed you weren't focusing. People who would watch the video would think he's just being his usual Aj self, but in reality, he was worried.

Worried that maybe something happened, and you were going back to not feeling like your usual self.

He hated that time, he hated whenever his friends felt at their worst. He knows because he's felt that same way before, and to feel it multiple times? There's nothing worse.

And so after the video, he went up to you, to see if you were alright. He caught up to you, right as you were about to leave the house, calling out your name.

"Ay Y/N, why you leaving so fast? Are you alright?" Worry surrounded his voice as he placed a hand on your shoulder.

"I'm okay Aje, thanks." You chuckled nervously, "Just uh, tired, yeah..." Scratching the back of your neck as you glanced away.

You hoped he hadn't seen the way you tried to avoid Sharky, or the glances you took during the video, causing your heart to race every second you did.

"Thanks for having me, tell that to the boys alright?" You gave Aj a small smile, patting him on the shoulder as you pointed towards the door with your thumb, indicating you were gonna leave, stepping out the door.

"How are ya gonna get home?" He shouted after you, still at the door, watching as you walked towards the driveway.

Turning around, you pulled out your phone in your pocket showing it to him, "Uh, I'll just call a taxi." You waved at him as you left.

As soon as you turned round the corner, where the eyes of the houses were gone, you took a deep breath, trying to steady it, as you wiped your sweaty hands. You cursed under your breath, How'd one guy get you messed up like this?

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

Aj closed the door when you were out of sight, as he turned towards the sitting room where the rest of his friends were. But he stopped in his tracks, a light bulb flickering in his head as he remembered something.

He scoffed as he peered inside the room, showing Sharky, Chunkz and Niko, having a conversation around the table, sitting back with their phones in their hands.

When he turned to head to the kitchen, Aj heard Sharky's voice call out to him as he glanced back and saw Sharky walk up to him.

"What's up Aj?" Sharky asked, darting his gaze around the room, it's as if he was looking for something, "Where's Y/N?"

Aj raised a brow, something clicking in his head, as he eyed the taller man in front of him. He placed his hands in his pockets as he spoke.

"She left." Aj started, squinting his eyes at Sharky as he continued to speak, suspicion drawing in his voice, "But I was just thinking, Sharks, what happened upstairs earlier?"

Sharkys eyes went round for a split second before returning to his normal face, "What do you mean?" He chuckled.

"Don't play stupid, I know you know what I mean." Pointing a finger at him, his voice raising slightly.

Sharky diverted his gaze, staring at the ground as he scratched the back of his neck. He knew what Aj was talking about, but was it what Sharky was thinking?

Aj shook his head and sighed, "I know you like her Sharks, but …" He trailed off, getting the other Somalis' attention as he watched Aj continue.

"I was worried. She wasn't herself today. It reminded me how she acted after her ex, dazed, fake smiles, and all that shit." Aj narrowed his eyes.

Sharky's brows upturned as he listened, something aching his heart. Would it be right to ask what happened? Or would it be overstepping his boundaries if he did?

He shook his head. If it was overstepping, Aj would tell him, and so he spoke, "I don't want to pry too much, but what happened?"

"Her ex was fine at first you know? No one noticed anything off with him, he was great until he started being toxic, then we could see it from a mile away. Man flippin gaslit her into believing that he loved her the whole time." Aj furrowed his brows in annoyance, as he placed his hands on his hips.

Sharky's face was stern, no emotion on it other than in his eyes, flames of anger burning behind them, his brows knitted together.

If looks could kill, his one would have.

How could someone do that to you? Play someone's feelings like it was a game? He hated people like that. He thought it was so disgusting to even think about it. For sure, if he ever sees the guy, he's gonna have a serious talk with him.

"I don't want you breaking her heart. You're a good guy for sure so just stay that way, blud." Aj pulled a smile, looking up at Sharky as he patted his shoulder, going to the kitchen and leaving Sharky with his own thoughts.

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

He slowly went over to sit on his bed, still in disbelief. You had to go through all that? And that bastard treated you like that? Proper mad, that guy.

Something in his heart suddenly twisted, an ache, or a pain, he wasn't sure. But he didn't like the feeling, the feeling of someone hurting you? Sharky would never do that to you.

He knew he didn't like you, because he loved you. He loved you so much that it hurt to think of someone hurting you. He wanted to be there for you, always. To let you lean on him when you needed to, and to be there just to see you laugh, to see you smile.

Pulling out his phone and putting on his Frank Ocean playlist, the song "Thinkin' bout you" popped up.

He sighed quietly as he put on his airpods and laid his head on the headboard of his bed, shutting his eyes close as he listened to the song.

"I've been thinking 'bout you"

A song that was your favourite of Frank Ocean.

"Do you think about me still? Do ya, do ya?"

He smiled, remembering you first singing it.

"Or do you not think so far ahead"

"Cause I been thinking bout forever, ooh"

And that's when it hit him, forever is a long time. And he didn't want to just think forever. He wanted to experience things, experience them with you.

But how could he, if he didn't tell you that he loved you?

He wanted you, no, he needed you.

That's why he got up and ran out of his room, grabbing a jacket on the way out as quickly as possible.

That's why he fumbled rushing to get his car keys to drive to your house.

That's why he's getting into his car, not even bothering to put on a seat belt, but focusing on getting out of the driveway to head to you.

And that's why he's running up to your house, knocking at your door, in the middle of the night.

And when the door opens, revealing you, looking up shocked when you see him, that's when he knew he wasn't too late, that he could still tell you.

Sharky is always a prepared guy. He plans out things for everything, and he's normally very organised. But this was hasty, reckless even, for the first time from what he can remember, he's unprepared.

No planning, no nothing, he was just following what his heart desired in this very moment. And in this moment, he desired you.

Rushing to you? Was definitely spontaneous. But how could he complain? He'd change up his life. He'd endure through any hard circumstances if it meant he'd be by your side.

This was why he wanted to let you know, to let you know now before it was too late, before someone tried to take you away from him.

He turned his gaze to the floor, fumbling for the words to say, suddenly his mind was everywhere, words didn't exist, only feelings at this point.

But he tried, calming his heart down as he shifted his gaze back to you, taking a deep breath in to say something, anything to you.

Sharky rushed to speak, "Y/N, I'm never this impulsive, I think things through, I … I … I'm organised, I plan it all out but…" His brows drew together, sighing in exasperation.

"Agh, I can't stop thinking about you. You're making me act all different, I can't focus anymore." He rubbed his temple, trying to calm his voice, to speak clearer.

"My heart races everytime I think about you, my palms start to sweat and my brain just can't focus. Everytime I close my eyes at night your face shows up and I can't sleep."

His eyes were darting everywhere but you at this point, "Every song I listen to suddenly reminds me of you and I can't get you out of my head."

"And every. damn. glance. I take is because I can't take my eyes off you, you really steal the spotlight when you're in the same room as me. I can't concentrate."

"You honestly looked so perfect when we were filming the video earlier and before upstairs… I'm sorry. I couldn't control myself. The urge to kiss you was killing me, and if Niko didn't walk in, I would have kissed you without thinking properly."

He realised he hadn't looked at you the whole time he talked because he was afraid, afraid of what your reaction would be, afraid maybe you wouldn't have felt the same way as him.

Maybe he read the signs wrong? Maybe you didn't love him back as he did with you?

But the thing was when he did look at you, you were in shock, you stood there wide-eyed, frozen in place at his confession. You couldn't say anything, you wanted to, but nothing was coming out.

He thought he was done for, that you didn't feel the same way until he saw the bright red flush creep upon your cheeks. Your gaze softening at the Somali in front of you.

He took a deep breath, inhaling as much air physically possible because right now he felt like he couldn't breathe either. You were just there in front of him, barely even an arms reach away from him. And the urge to envelop you in his arms was too strong.

"I will treat you right, the way you should be treated. I would never do anything to harm you or hurt you. And it's because I love you. I truly love you. Please…"

This was the minimum he could do for now, Taking your hands in his soft ones, moving your gaze to his soft sienna eyes.

He knows he shouldn't be doing this right here. But he couldn't help it.

It was now or never, to think he would lose you was one mistake he never wants to make, not later, not now.

But if the pain of not having you in his heart was stronger than in his head where his logical thinking was, just for once, just one time in his life he could ignore it.

He would do anything.

Anything for you.

So he spoke, words coming out of his loving heart rather than his mind, his brain allowed his heart to speak just this once, to know, truly know what you feel.

"Let me love you."

Taglist: @b4tasquad @p3drii @n1kodl @elora-k @slutforpablogavi @enhacolor @amwife @distantfromu

Mutuals Taglist: @b4tasquad @p3drii @vctrvn-ls @allygatcr @slutforpablogavi @kennysboxergf @n1kodl @amwife @heartsforaj

Taglist for this fic: @vctrvn-ls @allygatcr @kennysboxergf @lunasmindinwriting @heartsbyvalentina @heartsforaj @elyse3s @leanamaybank

I'm sorry if anyone else wanted to be on the taglist here. Send me an ask, and I'll add you! Currently cannot think rn of who I have to add-

#shuuuuush fics #beta squad #sharky #sharky beta squad #sharky x you #sharky x reader #sharky imagines #sharky oneshots

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holybibly · 9 months ago

Note

two words. CEO Yeosang.

imagine this: you’re a secretary/personal assistant to a cold CEO who’s beauty is ethereal. you have these thoughts of all the things he would do to you.

one day while in the break room you and your friend were talking about mindless things when the topic of your boss came up. the immediate thought of him made you instantly flush with all the fantasy’s.

little did you know that your boss overheard you guys talking and decided to tease you from then on.

“come here bunny ride my thigh while i work. i see how you look at me there’s no hiding how you feel bunny”

god this man has complete control over my brain.

question; if you call us your bunnies then what do we call you? i would like to say as someone who is a submissive through and through whenever you call us bunnies my brain goes like this: (*^◯^*)

For all bunnies! Unholy Hours is always open, you can send requests at any time.

You're not the only one asking this, do you have any idea what you want to call me, my darlings? You can tell me and then we'll do a poll and pick something.

Hmm, what should I do with this naughty bunny, a? Should I punish you or maybe praise you, tell me baby.

"Mr. Kang, oh God, Oh please." You squealed with a roll of your eyes in pleasure. You were supposed to be quieter, but how the hell could you be when Yeosang was being so ruthless in his efforts to drive you crazy?

Your thighs trembled uncontrollably as his hand viciously slapped your pussy; the wet, squelching sound was too loud in the spacious office of Kang Yeosang, the CEO of Blue Bird Incorporated. My God, how did you end up in a position like this in the first place? You didn't even have time to analyse the situation before you were under the caress of his long fingers.

Your hand was tangled in his soft, long hair, pulling at the strands with a light tug. With little thought of the need for silence, you moaned louder than before.

"The whole office must be listening to you by now, you little bitch. I thought I told you to keep your voice down, Miss Moon. What are your colleagues going to think when they find out that you are not only my secretary but my fuck toy as well? Will they respect you?" To be honest, you didn't really care about the fucking respect, especially when Yeosang's tongue started to circle around your clit, drawing different patterns. Is it worth it to remember this man's talent now to turn his tongue 180 degrees?

As your legs try to close around his head to hold him in place, you inadvertently grind your cunt against his angelically handsome face. In fact, you thought Yeosang's place was there, his face just begging to be smothered in pussy. Your toes curl in pleasure as you come with a loud scream, tears rolling down your cheeks and smearing your perfect make-up when he doesn't stop his merciless assault on your sensitive clit.

"Mr. Kang, Yeosang Fuck, this is too much."

He moaned into your pussy as you tugged and pulled at his hair, the plush walls of your cunt clenching around his fingers as you tried to keep them inside of you. He inserted a third finger inside you and began to move it at a steady, hard pace, your head jerking back. Your hips are pressed hard against his face, earning you a sharp slap on the cunt that makes you let out a loud whimper.

Yeosang grips your hips tightly to stop you from moving. But it does little as your legs lock around his neck.

"Yeosang, please stop. This is too much." Your back arched as he bit down on the inside of your thighs and looked at you with his eyes half-closed. How can everyone in the office have the impression that he's an adorable puppy when he fucks like this?

"Too much? Do I need to remind you, Miss Moon, that you have been an attention-seeking slut?" Your cunt clenched around his fingers at the titillating insult, and he grinned as he continued to slap you. Yeosang just chuckled as he made you squirt profusely, your juices spilling all over his perfectly ironed shirt, causing it to cling up next to his body. He watched as your body writhed in pleasure, orgasming violently, instinctively moving your hips to match his movements, and fucking yourself on his fingers.

"I didn't know you liked being insulted, Miss Moon. Do you always come when someone calls you a 'slut' hmm? Shameful." His grip on your hips tightened as he began to suck on your swollen clit again. You held on to his glass desk as you lay on top of his many documents and folders. His fingers poked and prodded your sweet spot. Your juices stained the multi-million-dollar contracts beneath you when you saw stars from pleasure.

Drool runs down the back of your neck and ruins your shirt, as everything is too sensitive from your orgasm, and each time his fingers penetrate you, you shudder and whimper. You spread your thighs wide in a desperate attempt to escape the endless assault on your clit. But your hips are firmly gripped and held in place by Yeosang's strong hands.

His tongue laps up your juices as if they were his last meal and licks your swollen pussy.

"Come on. I think you can cum again; you're going to need to try harder to keep up with what I think of you." His seductive chocolate eyes looked up at you, and all you could think about was his fingers going inside you, making you wish it was his thick cock. Oh, and Yeosang is good at it, too. Last time, you had to swap your usual stiletto heels for something more comfortable, and you couldn't walk normally for several days.

"Oh! Yeosang." Your back arched up from the table, and your toes curled up. Pleasure washed over you like a blanket as you pulled hard on his hair, eliciting a deep, low moan from him.

Every time you hear Yeosang moan, you think that if he weren't the CEO of the company you work for, he could be making a lot of money from Pornhub.

"I'm cummin' Yeosang!" You screamed his name as your legs closed around his head, and you came again. You fell back onto the table and caught your breath as he finally released your hips and stuck out his tongue to show you the mess you had made. The prettiest boys are always the dirtiest. You realised after the first time that Yeosang had literally fucked you to the last inch of your life.

"Miss Moon, there are still 40 minutes until lunch break. I think you have enough time for two or three more orgasms.

#ateez smut #kpop smut #atz smut #ateez hard hours #ateez unholy hours #smut #ateez scenarios #ateez au #ateez x reader #yeosang smut #ateez fanfic #kang yeosang smut

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shenanigans-and-imagines · 1 year ago

Text

I Keep Thinking About a Gale x Ace!Tav x Astarion AU

It makes no damn sense. Compels me though.

Let me be clear, this would be an AU and not a continuation of the “canon” I’ve established with Ace!Tav. It’s just not how I picture their story playing out. All the same, I keep circling back to this in my brain. Call it a thought experiment.

I’m probably not going to write a full fic for it. So, if anybody wants to take this general idea and run with it, feel free. Just give me a shoutout. Or if you guys are curious about this AU drop me an ask and I’ll answer with some rambles.

Speaking of, shoutout to @leighsartworks216 for letting me ramble to them about it.

Astarion x Ace!Tav Masterlist (for reference)

Cards on the table, none of these people are ready for a poly relationship

Gale is explicitly monogamous and ties sex and romantic love intimately together. Astarion is still dealing with the idea of being enough and just ✨the trauma✨ . Meanwhile Tav has their own abandonment issues and is just waiting for Astarion to get bored and leave. And yet! This disaster trio won’t leave me alone.

So this whole thing gets started when Astarion approaches Tav about wanting to experiment with sex again

He knows Tav isn't interested in sex and doesn't want to make them feel pressured into having it just to please him, so they talk about opening up in the relationship

Tav is hesitant about it, but also doesn't want this to be the reason Astarion leaves and so agrees

They convince themselves that if Astarion wants to have a one night stand, it’s fine; so long as he’s not seeking out his emotional needs with other people then there’s no risk of him wanting to end things; this is, of course, a terrible way to handle it

So, with that hanging over their heads they reconnect with Gale over some quest (maybe getting a magical item to allow Astarion to walk in the sun)

Gale has been teaching and while happy is admittedly still a bit lonely so is grateful to see his friends again

Gale and Tav always had a close relationship, but seeing them again does stir up some of those old feelings he'd let lie because, you know, the Absolute (headcanon here for further details)

Gale internally berates himself for this because he 1) knows Tav is ace and therefor not interested in a sexual relationship which is something he prioritizes when it comes to romance and 2) Tav is clearly still in a loving relationship with Astarion, so he's not going to be the asshole to get in the middle of all that

He tells himself it’s just the loneliness talking and pushes that shit down

So, he starts getting closer to Astarion who, while still a bit of a rogue, has mellowed a bit and worked on some of his more selfish instincts

Honestly, having the opportunity to see how much Astarion is devoted to Tav increases his opinion of the man

He and Astarion’s relationship is still antagonistic, but much more playful than before

This culminated in a moment when Astarion and Tav are checking in on each other after a trap goes off

Astarion pulls them close a moment kissing Tav on the temple once it’s clear they’re fine

Gale watches this interaction, his stomach twisting with familiar jealousy, but pauses as his mind screeches to a halt realizing “wait, am I jealous of Astarion or Tav?"

Meanwhile Astarion is a bit surprised at Gale being more friendly with him, but he can't say he's complaining. He knows Tav missed him, and while he had his own jealousies early in the relationship, he's since moved passed it. Gale was the one to help him ultimately get together with Tav after all.

He makes more of an effort to get to know the wizard one on one and finds himself looking more and more

There is something oddly endearing when he rambles

Gods he really is a powerful wizard (connotation: scared and horny)

Did his robes always show off his chest hair like that

He really does make Tav happy

Until one morning he's laying in bed and snaps up enraged with himself like, "GALE?! OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU CAN FEEL COMPELLED TO FUCK. FUCKING GALE?!?!?!?!"

Full existential crisis

Yes, they said opening the relationship, but he knows how nervous Tav feels about it. They’ve told him about their past relationships and how so many of them fell apart when the topic of sex came up

But he also knows he can’t do a one night stand; he needs to trust the person he’s having sex with, he wants it to mean something

He knows Gale and he knows it would mean something with him

He also knows Gale’s opinion on monogamy; would he force him to choose between him and Tav? Would Gale even want to be with him? Astarion knows Gale used to feel deeply for Tav

And what if it ends badly? Gale is Tav’s friend, his friend. Fuck, this can’t be happening

Meanwhile Tav is reconnecting with Gale and is like, “Gods I did miss him…oh wait I like *missed* him, missed him”. But pushes that shit down because, again, in a very loving relationship with Astarion which they won’t risk for anything and 2) Gale has made it clear that sex is something he values in a relationship as a form of intimacy.

They knew they couldn’t give him that then and they can’t now

Tav is also starting to notice how Astarion is looking at Gale

They’re much more in tune with his emotions and can see he’s interested

Tav starts to feel jealous and then feels guilty for doing so because they said opening the relationship was fine

Gale is wonderful. They know he’d treat Astarion the way he deserves. They could hardly blame Astarion for ultimately choosing him

They knew deep down they were just a stepping stone on Astarion’s road to recovery. If he can be with someone who can give him so much love and sex, why would he need them?

It also doesn’t help that as they start noticing Astarion looking at Gale, they see Gale looking right back

They do feel deeply for Gale, but know his thoughts on monogamy

Besides, they turned him down before, they can’t expect Gale to have held onto those feelings

So they start to slowly distance themselves from both men, resolving that if Astarion approaches them about it, they’re not going to stand in his way.

This course of action causes all of them to start driving themselves crazy in their own heads

Astarion is scrambling because they can sense Tav pulling away and is desperate to figure out what’s wrong, but Tav won’t tell them anything

Gale can see it too and so is pushing down all of his emotions because “Tav I know you love Astarion and Astarion loves you, so what’s going on”

Tav can’t confide in him either so they just don’t say anything

This leaves Astarion and Gale to start confiding in each other more because what’s going on?

Finally Astarion spills everything to Gale, he and Tav opening their relationship, his fears about them leaving, and becuase he’s got a good idea why they’re pulling away

Gale is admittedly a bit obtuse about it which prompts Astarion to grab him by the front of the robes and start kissing him

Gale respond enthusiastically and the two of them start making out. But before it goes any further their brains catch up with them and they stop, both knowing that they need to talk to Tav

So they approach Tav and Tav’s like, “yeah, it’s fine, can’t say I’m surprised, neither of you are exactly subtle. It’s fine. I’ll take this as my queue to go then.”

Astarion then jumps in like, “wait, no, who said anything about leaving”.

Tav tries to convince him that it’s fine, that they’re happy for him, really. They can’t begrudge him for wanting more and he shouldn’t feel compelled to stay with them.

Astarion’s brain is reeling from this because are you actually kidding me? Please say you’re joking and don’t actually believe that.

He then takes their face in his hands and tells them he’s not going to stop loving them just because he wants to have sex again and if there is one lesson they’ve taught him is that he has more love in him that he ever thought possible. He’s got plenty to spare.

Gale meanwhile has been watching Astarion and Tav’s relationship for some time and has come to understand you can separate sex and romantic love

He then steps in saying, “yes, I am interested is pursuing something more with Astarion, but also with you. Honestly out of the two of you, I’ve loved you for much longer”.

Tav would still need time to accept the idea that they’re not the third wheel. Gale would need to work out how to put that sometimes obsessive love into two people and Astarion still has his trauma, but they’d all have each other to work it all out once they get everything out into the open.

#astarion #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #astarion x tav #astarion x ace!tav #gale x tav #gale dekarios x tav #bloodweave #gale x ace!tav #gale x tav x Astarion #bloodweave x tav #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #asexual!tav #asexual!reader #bard!tav #astarion x evie #gale x evie

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cinnamonest · 6 months ago

Text

@shishin-kan This has been eating away at my brain and now the idea of Fallout-type Ghoulification is getting to me… your little ghoul boyfriend… (except keeping his hair lmao)...

It takes quite a long while depending on the degree of exposure, so since he's just gradually exposed to small amounts of radiation, the changes are subtle.

You have the canned rations and water, but he still goes out to get you guys supplies, food that doesn't taste like drywall, among other things. Each time he returns, you're hit with varying levels of nausea.

At first, it affects him too, he's already nauseous by the time he gets back. But then you start to notice that it affects him much less than you, with time. As if his body is adjusting. Soon he's going out and coming back without so much as a grimace on his face, while his mere presence makes you retch uncontrollably for the first few minutes when he returns.

But whatever, that's a normal affect of radiation right? You were warned about the most common effects back when nuclear war was a looming threat. There were several “stages” of radiation poisoning, as you recall, they always show little charts with bullet points of symptoms and instructions on each — only in the latter stages, the text turns capitalized and red, alerting the reader to seek immediate help if they exhibit the symptoms listed for that stage. It always felt dreadful to look at.

Nausea was just a natural short-term effect, so they always said, one of the first effects to be experienced, and as long as you got away from the source, you'd be fine.

It's not until nighttime that you start getting really concerned. Because those informative pamphlets and TV alerts never said anything about glowing.

You don't notice the onset, it just sort of hits you when nighttime comes — rather, you don't know what time it is, but when you shut the lights off to go to sleep. You start to realize he has this ever so faint aura of light surrounding him.

You convince yourself you're imagining it, but when it's noticeably stronger a few months later, it becomes undeniable. You bring it up and he laughs and says not to worry about it and— wait, were his pupils always so big? It's yet another thing you can't help but notice as he's talking, but you don't want to worry him, and would prefer to avoid thinking too much about it yourself, so… you say nothing.

But the fact that he seems so not worried at all is a bit concerning. In fact, you notice he's gotten more carefree in general. Or perhaps “carefree” isn't quite the right word. He almost seems… out of it. Loopy.

He's still happy, still smiling. But he talks to himself out loud, not just mumbles, but actual conversations, walking around in circles in the halls, accompanied but he occasional odd, unnatural jerking movements, or reaching up to scratch at his face, something he never did before. He answers questions in ways that are just… odd, sometimes. He gets more spontaneous, breaks his precious routines all the time.

As for you, the radiation exposure makes you exhausted, lethargic. But then he says it's fine if you're too tired to make any food. For some reason, he’s lost the aversion most people have to eating raw meat, he discovered so when he was outside last and decided to dig into some carcass he found on a whim. And look at him, he's fine! So he can just eat some of those dead animals he brought back.

He certainly notices the concern on your face. You stare at each other for a few seconds before you sheepishly tell him you remember that that's an effect of radiation exposure.

He shrugs it off, says he's taking the Rad-X and the RadAway every time he goes out… it doesn't seem to help much, since you still get so sick, but it has to be working on him, since he's not dead! The only thing to worry about is how those public announcements always said that the Rad-X would slow down the long-term radiation accumulation, which would have unknown effects as it wasn't studied at the time… but he'll be sure to treat any symptoms that arise.

Later, you spent a week looking around thinking you must have left some food sitting out because you swore you smell rotting meat, but realize once he leaves on another outing that the smell disappears when he's gone, and say nothing more of it… and eventually, the smell vanishes, along with the greenish hue to his skin, replaced by his flesh feeling leathery to the touch.

You say nothing. You don't want him to worry, or feel self-conscious.

You're still worried for a while that he's going to die, of course, but… he seems to be doing okay, he never gets sick anymore, he's energetic and happy. The more months pass, the more at ease you feel that he won't die from it at least.

But the radiation warnings didn't say anything about the dilated pupils (or at least, that's what you assume it is, his eyes are getting dark all over), or the leathery skin, or the glowing.

Actually... you do recall that it mentioned that the death process was exposure to high levels of radiation over the course of a few days. Soon, he's been undergoing this process for well over a year. And then there's that thing again about unknown effects of long-term exposure...

You have no idea what's happening to him. You try to ignore it. You're not sure if he notices the changes either, due to the fact that you've resolved to say nothing, combined with the vault’s lack of any remaining mirrors.

It messes with his brain. He's erratic. It makes him more prone to angry outbursts, but also gleeful manic episodes, laughing and happy and chasing you around, roughhousing like you're kids — admittedly it's fun, but he's just so giddily excited you can't help but feel it's unnatural. Not to mention the strength — when did he get that strong? Able to throw you around like you're weightless?

And the mood swings are sudden — he'll go from that boisterous happy state one minute, to tearful and begging for reassurance the next, to grouchy and moping the next, far faster than you ever remember before this all happened.

It translates to intimacy too. More erratic, faster and harder and more intense, and not in a good way. So intense it's painful, yet even though you say to slow down — he used to listen, he used to care so much about making sure it's nothing but pleasant for you — it just seems to make him go harder, biting and scratching you far more than he ever did when he was… normal.

The sheer frequency and intensity of the biting makes you uneasy. It's as if he has some craving for it, an irresistible impulse, and by the time he's done you're literally covered in rings of teeth imprints all over your neck, thighs, stomach. You feel almost nervous letting him get his teeth so close to your neck.

And afterwards when he's holding you close, he smiles at you. His nose used to scrunch up when he smiled, and now there's just slits where the nose used to be, cartilage long since rotted off.

You can't stop noticing each and every little change.

But changes are gradual, with things like this. Change is harder to notice when it's slow, and non-drastic, when you can safely say that he was like that a few months ago, so surely he was like that even before, you're pretty sure… maybe? The memory of the state of his eyes or hair or skin long before it even began is distant enough that you're comparing the now to a more recent, and thereby clearer, memory, rather than a blurrier, more distant one.

So it's not until you're going through your belongings and find an old photo of you two you managed to salvage from back home, that you find yourself going stiff, slack-jawed and wide-eyed. Shocked by the realization of just how drastic the change really has been, disturbed by how you got used to it so easily. Hell, his nose is practically gone, and somehow you accepted that as perfectly fine. His skin, his eyes, everything…

It's in that moment that it really settles that he's no longer human. That he's become something else entirely — a fact that, as soon as you realize it, is accompanied by the equally despairing realization that you have no choice but to accept it.

You say nothing, you say nothing, and finally one day you can't say nothing anymore. You break, even if you approach it ever so meekly. And then—

Hey, you know, the radiation… I think it has some kind of… long term effects on the body…

His eyebrows raise for a moment, but then he smiles. Rests his hand on your head and says it doesn't matter.

You'll always be beautiful to me. So what if it changed the way you look? You're still you. Don't worry about things like that.

—you realize you never stopped to think about the fact that he's not the only one who hasn't seen his reflection in a long time.

#and you have yet to learn that ghouls are essentially immortal :)#just your cute little ghoul couple in the vault together for the rest of time :)#i love fallout so much theres so many possibilities here #but ghouls are my favorite

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gretavanbrie · 1 year ago

Text

Dreadful Reminders (J.T.K)

Summary: The brewing tension in your relationship seems to be pulling your love at the seams. What will happen when what is supposed to be happy news, only tears you apart further. Is one mindless phone call the end of it all?

Pairings: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Warnings: ANGST, angst, andddd more angst, established relationship, asshole jake :(, Jake being mean, I can’t say much without spoiling but talks of pregnancy, swearing, doors slamming, feelings of being unwanted, hurt feelings, alcohol consumption… if I missed anything lmk!!

A/N: This idea has been circling my brain for weeks and I’ve finally decided to act on it, so here it is!! If you guys like this enough ill upload part 2, I’ve already got that one going and smut will be included ;))

It started off as hums of yes’s and no’s, dismissing waves out the door instead of proper goodbyes. The kisses no longer cherished, instead rushed. Love with Jake was once full of passion and eagerness, stolen glances from across the room much alike youthful school crushes. The lingering touches, the spontaneous arrival of perfectly bloomed floral arrangements just to say “thought of you”.

Handwritten notes every morning you awoke together almost as though they were incantations, spiraling more and more in love with each letter scribbled across dingy post-it notes. 5 and 1/2 years of irrevocable love, now slowly tearing at the seams like over-worn clothing. The innocence of it all was what preserved the love. What you failed to realize was growing up stripped that completely.

The day you found out was bittersweet. Jake left for a meeting with the boys shortly after your heated argument over god knows what, it seems as though any minor inconvenience is means for harshness and disagreements at this point. Your shaky hands hastily pick up the test after waiting for what seemed like hours.

Pregnant.

You covered your mouth not only in awe but in fear. You frantically searched for a second test in the box to solidify this outcome before sharing the news with anyone. You picked at your fingernails as you waited, a nervous habit you couldn’t seem to shake.

Is Jake even ready for this?

Did I just ruin his life?

How could we be so stupid, we’re so young.

The seemingly deafening sound of the timer shook you out of your now swarming thoughts. You hurriedly picked up the second test only to be met with the same prognosis as before. It’s not that you didn’t want the baby. Of course you both have talked about kids in the future but with how things have been between the two of you, you were sure an end to your most cherished love was nearing.

You’ve wanted a family with Jake, just not now. He is doing so well in his career, the band is skyrocketing. You almost feel selfish for wanting this. Would this set him back? You’ve both been so wrapped up in your own lives these past few weeks, him with the band and you overloading yourself with work. Things have been rocky. You feel as though you’ve become a burden to the person you love and cherish most.

No more late night whispers and giggles shared under the covers, the longing gentle touches underneath the twilight seemed to cease. Coffee together in the morning, a once cherished act of quality time.. now a mere chore. What was once intimate and passionate sex, now rushed solely to let his frustrations out. Only to be met with the saddening view of his back turned away as though you’ve become an eyesore, not worthy of being touched for longer than need be. The love that once flowed through your shared house, now stagnant. The tension almost suffocating. This is a whole new level you’re ready to take on, but is he?

You paced the bedroom wracking your brain on how to tell him for the next half hour before you hear the sound of the door slamming shut and the heavy patter of boots walking along the hardwood floors. Your heart thumps in anticipation like the mockery of a drum. The bedroom door swings open and a frustrated Jake appears throwing his keys off to the armchair.

Without making eye contact he walks past merely whispering “hey babe, bad day.” before shutting the door to the bathroom. Before you can be upset about his short greeting, your eyes widen in shock as you realize you never took the tests off the sink. Just as you were about to interfere your met with a puzzled Jake standing before you, the two tests clutched in his grasp. You two lock eyes and you swear he can hear your heartbeat from the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

“Anything you wanna tell me?”

He looks at you sternly. You almost feel like a child being scolded.

“I found out just before you got here I was trying to figure out how to tell you” You reply shakily, nervous to hear his response. You look down in shame and continue.

“I know things have been tough between us and we haven’t talked about it and that’s okay, if you’re stressed out about work stuff with the band I completely understand but I’m just as scared as you might be. We can work through this, I know we can. We’ve talked about kids before i think the plans are just a bit rushed, that’s all” you say hopefully with a shy smile.

Jake doesn’t say anything, just stares at you and then slowly brings his gaze to the two white sticks in his hands. He feels his heart thumping, a man usually well spoken now not finding the right words to say.

He opens his mouth to say something then swiftly shuts it again before clenching his jaw. The suspense killing you, you speak up.

“My Jake… please say something” your voice almost failing you as tears well in your eyes.

Oh god, he’s gonna leave you. You think to yourself. Just as your thoughts are about to spiral out of control he breaks the silence.

“I know I’ve been distant and i want to apologize it’s not right. There’s just been… things…weighing on me, I didn’t know how to navigate them and I shut you out. I’m sorry my love. And I’m sorry again for being so unsupportive right now it’s been a stressful day” he calmly says.

“C’mere” he whispers as he pulls you in his embrace “everything is gonna be okay” he says, stroking your hair almost as though he’s trying to convince himself.

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

The next few days seemed a little better Jake seemed to be genuinely trying and you were nothing short of appreciative. This was all you wanted, your Jake to be back.

The two of you are still planning on how to reveal the news to everybody. Today in particular seemed off. You arose to the sun seeping into the windows, curtains blowing as you mistakenly left the window open the night before. You’re expecting to be met with the warmth of Jake’s sleeping body lying next to yours. Instead nothing but a cold pillow and his barely-there scent.

No goodbye kiss? That’s weird.

Fully awake now, you peer over to your side to check your phone for any texts from him and see a note lying there.

“Got called into a last minute group meeting, see you soon.”

All my love,

Jake.”

Prying the covers off you, you feel an overwhelming sense of nausea. Not able to suppress it you run into the bathroom and alleviate the brewing sickness. You pick yourself up from in front of the now tainted porcelain, you start the shower and begin brushing your teeth. You fix up for the day, changing into a baggy crew neck sweatshirt of Jakes and some leggings. You head downstairs and finish up some mundane tasks that need to be tackled around the house.

Feeling proud of what you’ve accomplished so far with this first trimester nausea, you decide to surprise Jake with one of his favorite recipes of yours. Although it may not have the same comfort as Karen’s cooking, you hope this alleviates him of some stress anyway.

Sliding on some shoes , grabbing your purse and keys you make your way out to round up some last minute ingredients. You make your laps around the store collecting your items for supper. On your way home you hear a buzzing sounding from inside your bag. You pick up the device and see Joshua in big letters across the screen. Bringing the phone to your ear you greet the curly headed boy.

“Hello?” You call into the phone.

“Hey y/n! Jake with you? Daniel and I just got an idea we wanna try out and he hasn’t gotten back to me” he says cheerfully

“Um no…he said he was with you guys this morning” you reply

“Oh wait! Hold on he’s calling me. Call you later! Love you!” He shouts excitedly, dismissing your previous response and hanging up.

Your stomach churns at the thought of Jake lying about where he was. He’s never done it before, why start now? You thought everything was okay now, that he was just as excited to welcome another life into your home as you are. Before the overthinking floods your mind you pull into yours and Jake’s driveway seeing his car already parked out front, a wave of relief washes over you. Maybe he wasn’t lying, maybe he just left early.

You gather the groceries and make your way inside excited to tell him what your plans for the night are. You close the door behind you making your way into the kitchen setting the bags down before heading to your shared bedroom to grab a hair tie.

As you pass his music room you hear him talking on the phone. Assuming it’s still josh you think nothing of it until you hear your name in the conversation. Stopping in your tracks you listen closely to the words being spoken. Any other day you would have respected his privacy but your gut was telling you to tune in on whatever this convo may be about. Pressing your ear against the door frame you hear

“…It’s been so shit josh, I’m torn. Theres been this weird tension that i know I’m probably the cause of because she’s been nothing but patient and understanding with me but the arguments have been multiplying and I don’t even know if i can continue on, i feel so guilty” you feel a sinking feeling in your gut as tears well in your eyes. It’s silent for a moment, assuming josh is speaking on the other end. Your interest is piqued again as Jake continues on.

“It was fun because we were young. She’s so incredibly special to me, you have no idea but we’re not even married and we weren’t planning on it anytime soon we wanted to continue traveling and experimenting with each other. I’ve loved her for so long it feels like i need to experience more, something different. I didn’t think I’d have to settle down so soon. I don’t know man. Is this even right for me anymore? Am i even cut out to be a dad? I thought i wanted this with her and only her but we’re gone for so long out of the year Josh. It’s becoming overbearing almost. I need space from her to think things through but she’s always there, a dreadful reminder of the mistake we made.” He exclaims.

“It feels like I’m only with her for the baby.” He finishes.

You hear a heavy sigh before prying your ears away, not bearing another second as it feels as though you’ve been sucker punched in the gut.

A mistake? After all the time you two have spent together and now the only thing seemingly holding you two together, is the baby? Why couldn’t he have voiced these thoughts earlier? If he wanted space to think about things you would’ve worked something out.

Now letting the tears fall freely, you start blaming yourself for not noticing the signs earlier and thinking how you could’ve prevented this. Was this a mistake? 5 almost 6 years and not once did you think your Jake would tear your heart in two like this. Especially now that you’re carrying the undeniable manifestation of your guy’s love.

The tears now flowing ten fold, you’re broken from your thoughts as the door swings open. Jakes eyes go from frightened to apologetic. His facial expression now long and sorrowful seeing your tear stained cheeks. He just stares at you for a moment, unsure of what to say.

“How long have you been here?” He says weakly

“Long enough.” You quipped. “Have all the space you desire, Jacob.” You say as you angrily wipe the tears from your face.

Turning on your heel you head into your bedroom to frantically pack your bags as what once were the walls of your home, comforting and inviting… now suffocating. Jake is hot on your heels spewing out apologies a mile a minute. Your head is everywhere but here, a million thoughts circling your brain as you focus on grounding yourself.

Choked sobs escape your mouth as you realize this sick twisted nightmare is real and the only person you longed to share a family with is rejecting that reality. How foolish of you to believe your rockstar boyfriend would want to settle down so early with you. Sure it was poor timing but you thought your love was stronger than that. Maybe he didn’t love you as much as you thought he did, at least not anymore.

“Baby please say something i didnt mean it, I don’t know what i was saying.” He tries reaching for your hand. As you pry away from his grasp, his own eyes well up.

‘You know full well what you were saying, Jacob Thomas.” You reply your voice laced with venom as you slam the bedroom door in his face, locking it. You sit on the edge of his side of the bed just letting the sobs wrack through your body, hands smoothing over the barely there bump forming. Jake sits just opposite of the door listening in hoping he could find the right words to fix this.

He knows he was being melodramatic, he loves you how every fish in the sea loves water. You were his air, consuming his lungs like an aching necessity. He loves you like dry ground loves rain, just waiting to be basked in the showers of your outpouring affection. He loves you like all the stars and the moon love the night sky, as though you were home to him… as if it was natural to love you. Like there was no other being on this earth that was made to love him how you do. You were molded for him and he was mindless to not realize the immense amount of luck he had in being able to call you his. He struck gold and paid it no mind.

Dread now filling his every muscle, his throat closing as he realizes the severity of his actions. He hears ur pained cries muffled through the door and desperately wishes he could take it all back.

“Baby please, come on.. i know there’s no excuse just let me fix this…. Please” he chokes out meekly. He steps back surprised as the door swings open, a duffel bag of your necessities slung over your shoulder. You see the hurt flash across his eyes as he makes eye contact, a silent plea to hear him out once he realizes what’s happening.

“Enough Jake. Don’t sit here and feel sorry for yourself. Enlighten me, if i hadn’t heard that conversation would you have come back out as though everything was normal. A blatant lie to my face. Were you gonna voice this to me at all? Instead I’m being labeled to ur brother as a “dreadful reminder”. If you’re only with me for the baby Jake…” you look down taking a deep breath trying to tame the aching lump in your throat before you continue on.

“I’ve made the decision for you. I need space.” you finish, swiftly pushing past him.

“No no no no no..” he starts hot on your trail

“Im not just with you for the baby, y/n. You mean so much more to me than that i- i was being stupid and selfish and i got caught up in my own personal fears it blinded me to the gift right of front of me. I swear y/n i was speaking out of my ass the arguments have been getting to me and I felt the lack of emotional intimacy i thought we were done for. When i came home the day we found out, I had been planning on talking to you about it. We lost our spark and i lost my motivation to try. And then seeing those tests i just freaked, i mean… can you blame me? This is fucking scary y/n!” You stared at him in silence taking in what he had to say, carefully calculating your response.

“I understand its scary, you forget I’m the one carrying it as well. You don’t think i feel guilty for essentially putting a pause on your career? And with these newfound hormones this is incredibly nerve-wracking especially with the lack of your emotional support! we’re supposed to be in this together! And you’ve done nothing but treat me as if we haven’t spent the last 5 long years of our life in unison Jacob! Do you know how frustrating it is to fall asleep every night next to a man who barely acknowledges your presence?! The person you fucking love completely dismissing your existence like I’m some fucking burden! You have no idea the fear that ran through my body seeing those tests in the midst of….. whatever the fuck this is!!” You exclaim waving your arms around gesturing to the now broken home. Tears now cascading endlessly down your face. You take a deep breath to collect yourself seeing how you’ve let your emotions overpower the logic needed right now.

“….that was just another level of low Jacob. You’re not you. I think we need time” you continue on teary-eyed. Voice weak from the amount of crying you’ve done tonight.

You hear him calling out for you but its all muffled by the heart-shattering sound of your world seemingly crashing down around you. Tears well in your eyes as you turn to see a heartbroken, disheveled jake standing before you pleading you not to go.

‘I love you, always will.” is the last thing you say before Jakes walls come tumbling down by the sound of the door slamming shut, tears clouding his vision.

“How selfish can you be?” he thinks to himself, rubbing his face in distress.

Cracking open a bottle of whiskey he pads into the kitchen seeing all the ingredients laid out for what would’ve been his favorite dinner. Untouched.. just lying there, a dreadful reminder of the detrimental effect of his actions. He falls asleep drunkenly on the kitchen floor that night, longing for your love and warmth to consume him again.

Fin.

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