#dreadful reminders
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Dreadful Reminders (J.T.K)
Summary: The brewing tension in your relationship seems to be pulling your love at the seams. What will happen when what is supposed to be happy news, only tears you apart further. Is one mindless phone call the end of it all?
Pairings: Jake Kiszka x f!reader
Warnings: ANGST, angst, andddd more angst, established relationship, asshole jake :(, Jake being mean, I canât say much without spoiling but talks of pregnancy, swearing, doors slamming, feelings of being unwanted, hurt feelings, alcohol consumption⌠if I missed anything lmk!!
A/N: This idea has been circling my brain for weeks and Iâve finally decided to act on it, so here it is!! If you guys like this enough ill upload part 2, Iâve already got that one going and smut will be included ;))
It started off as hums of yesâs and noâs, dismissing waves out the door instead of proper goodbyes. The kisses no longer cherished, instead rushed. Love with Jake was once full of passion and eagerness, stolen glances from across the room much alike youthful school crushes. The lingering touches, the spontaneous arrival of perfectly bloomed floral arrangements just to say âthought of youâ.
Handwritten notes every morning you awoke together almost as though they were incantations, spiraling more and more in love with each letter scribbled across dingy post-it notes. 5 and 1/2 years of irrevocable love, now slowly tearing at the seams like over-worn clothing. The innocence of it all was what preserved the love. What you failed to realize was growing up stripped that completely.
The day you found out was bittersweet. Jake left for a meeting with the boys shortly after your heated argument over god knows what, it seems as though any minor inconvenience is means for harshness and disagreements at this point. Your shaky hands hastily pick up the test after waiting for what seemed like hours.
Pregnant.
You covered your mouth not only in awe but in fear. You frantically searched for a second test in the box to solidify this outcome before sharing the news with anyone. You picked at your fingernails as you waited, a nervous habit you couldnât seem to shake.
Is Jake even ready for this?
Did I just ruin his life?
How could we be so stupid, weâre so young.
The seemingly deafening sound of the timer shook you out of your now swarming thoughts. You hurriedly picked up the second test only to be met with the same prognosis as before. Itâs not that you didnât want the baby. Of course you both have talked about kids in the future but with how things have been between the two of you, you were sure an end to your most cherished love was nearing.
Youâve wanted a family with Jake, just not now. He is doing so well in his career, the band is skyrocketing. You almost feel selfish for wanting this. Would this set him back? Youâve both been so wrapped up in your own lives these past few weeks, him with the band and you overloading yourself with work. Things have been rocky. You feel as though youâve become a burden to the person you love and cherish most.
No more late night whispers and giggles shared under the covers, the longing gentle touches underneath the twilight seemed to cease. Coffee together in the morning, a once cherished act of quality time.. now a mere chore. What was once intimate and passionate sex, now rushed solely to let his frustrations out. Only to be met with the saddening view of his back turned away as though youâve become an eyesore, not worthy of being touched for longer than need be. The love that once flowed through your shared house, now stagnant. The tension almost suffocating. This is a whole new level youâre ready to take on, but is he?
You paced the bedroom wracking your brain on how to tell him for the next half hour before you hear the sound of the door slamming shut and the heavy patter of boots walking along the hardwood floors. Your heart thumps in anticipation like the mockery of a drum. The bedroom door swings open and a frustrated Jake appears throwing his keys off to the armchair.
Without making eye contact he walks past merely whispering âhey babe, bad day.â before shutting the door to the bathroom. Before you can be upset about his short greeting, your eyes widen in shock as you realize you never took the tests off the sink. Just as you were about to interfere your met with a puzzled Jake standing before you, the two tests clutched in his grasp. You two lock eyes and you swear he can hear your heartbeat from the adrenaline coursing through your veins.
âAnything you wanna tell me?â
He looks at you sternly. You almost feel like a child being scolded.
âI found out just before you got here I was trying to figure out how to tell youâ You reply shakily, nervous to hear his response. You look down in shame and continue.
âI know things have been tough between us and we havenât talked about it and thatâs okay, if youâre stressed out about work stuff with the band I completely understand but Iâm just as scared as you might be. We can work through this, I know we can. Weâve talked about kids before i think the plans are just a bit rushed, thatâs allâ you say hopefully with a shy smile.
Jake doesnât say anything, just stares at you and then slowly brings his gaze to the two white sticks in his hands. He feels his heart thumping, a man usually well spoken now not finding the right words to say.
He opens his mouth to say something then swiftly shuts it again before clenching his jaw. The suspense killing you, you speak up.
âMy Jake⌠please say somethingâ your voice almost failing you as tears well in your eyes.
Oh god, heâs gonna leave you. You think to yourself. Just as your thoughts are about to spiral out of control he breaks the silence.
âI know Iâve been distant and i want to apologize itâs not right. Thereâs just been⌠thingsâŚweighing on me, I didnât know how to navigate them and I shut you out. Iâm sorry my love. And Iâm sorry again for being so unsupportive right now itâs been a stressful dayâ he calmly says.
âCâmereâ he whispers as he pulls you in his embrace âeverything is gonna be okayâ he says, stroking your hair almost as though heâs trying to convince himself.
âââââââââââââââââ
The next few days seemed a little better Jake seemed to be genuinely trying and you were nothing short of appreciative. This was all you wanted, your Jake to be back.
The two of you are still planning on how to reveal the news to everybody. Today in particular seemed off. You arose to the sun seeping into the windows, curtains blowing as you mistakenly left the window open the night before. Youâre expecting to be met with the warmth of Jakeâs sleeping body lying next to yours. Instead nothing but a cold pillow and his barely-there scent.
No goodbye kiss? Thatâs weird.
Fully awake now, you peer over to your side to check your phone for any texts from him and see a note lying there.
âGot called into a last minute group meeting, see you soon.â
All my love,
Jake.â
Prying the covers off you, you feel an overwhelming sense of nausea. Not able to suppress it you run into the bathroom and alleviate the brewing sickness. You pick yourself up from in front of the now tainted porcelain, you start the shower and begin brushing your teeth. You fix up for the day, changing into a baggy crew neck sweatshirt of Jakes and some leggings. You head downstairs and finish up some mundane tasks that need to be tackled around the house.
Feeling proud of what youâve accomplished so far with this first trimester nausea, you decide to surprise Jake with one of his favorite recipes of yours. Although it may not have the same comfort as Karenâs cooking, you hope this alleviates him of some stress anyway.
Sliding on some shoes , grabbing your purse and keys you make your way out to round up some last minute ingredients. You make your laps around the store collecting your items for supper. On your way home you hear a buzzing sounding from inside your bag. You pick up the device and see Joshua in big letters across the screen. Bringing the phone to your ear you greet the curly headed boy.
âHello?â You call into the phone.
âHey y/n! Jake with you? Daniel and I just got an idea we wanna try out and he hasnât gotten back to meâ he says cheerfully
âUm noâŚhe said he was with you guys this morningâ you reply
âOh wait! Hold on heâs calling me. Call you later! Love you!â He shouts excitedly, dismissing your previous response and hanging up.
Your stomach churns at the thought of Jake lying about where he was. Heâs never done it before, why start now? You thought everything was okay now, that he was just as excited to welcome another life into your home as you are. Before the overthinking floods your mind you pull into yours and Jakeâs driveway seeing his car already parked out front, a wave of relief washes over you. Maybe he wasnât lying, maybe he just left early.
You gather the groceries and make your way inside excited to tell him what your plans for the night are. You close the door behind you making your way into the kitchen setting the bags down before heading to your shared bedroom to grab a hair tie.
As you pass his music room you hear him talking on the phone. Assuming itâs still josh you think nothing of it until you hear your name in the conversation. Stopping in your tracks you listen closely to the words being spoken. Any other day you would have respected his privacy but your gut was telling you to tune in on whatever this convo may be about. Pressing your ear against the door frame you hear
ââŚItâs been so shit josh, Iâm torn. Theres been this weird tension that i know Iâm probably the cause of because sheâs been nothing but patient and understanding with me but the arguments have been multiplying and I donât even know if i can continue on, i feel so guiltyâ you feel a sinking feeling in your gut as tears well in your eyes. Itâs silent for a moment, assuming josh is speaking on the other end. Your interest is piqued again as Jake continues on.
âIt was fun because we were young. Sheâs so incredibly special to me, you have no idea but weâre not even married and we werenât planning on it anytime soon we wanted to continue traveling and experimenting with each other. Iâve loved her for so long it feels like i need to experience more, something different. I didnât think Iâd have to settle down so soon. I donât know man. Is this even right for me anymore? Am i even cut out to be a dad? I thought i wanted this with her and only her but weâre gone for so long out of the year Josh. Itâs becoming overbearing almost. I need space from her to think things through but sheâs always there, a dreadful reminder of the mistake we made.â He exclaims.
âIt feels like Iâm only with her for the baby.â He finishes.
You hear a heavy sigh before prying your ears away, not bearing another second as it feels as though youâve been sucker punched in the gut.
A mistake? After all the time you two have spent together and now the only thing seemingly holding you two together, is the baby? Why couldnât he have voiced these thoughts earlier? If he wanted space to think about things you wouldâve worked something out.
Now letting the tears fall freely, you start blaming yourself for not noticing the signs earlier and thinking how you couldâve prevented this. Was this a mistake? 5 almost 6 years and not once did you think your Jake would tear your heart in two like this. Especially now that youâre carrying the undeniable manifestation of your guyâs love.
The tears now flowing ten fold, youâre broken from your thoughts as the door swings open. Jakes eyes go from frightened to apologetic. His facial expression now long and sorrowful seeing your tear stained cheeks. He just stares at you for a moment, unsure of what to say.
âHow long have you been here?â He says weakly
âLong enough.â You quipped. âHave all the space you desire, Jacob.â You say as you angrily wipe the tears from your face.
Turning on your heel you head into your bedroom to frantically pack your bags as what once were the walls of your home, comforting and inviting⌠now suffocating. Jake is hot on your heels spewing out apologies a mile a minute. Your head is everywhere but here, a million thoughts circling your brain as you focus on grounding yourself.
Choked sobs escape your mouth as you realize this sick twisted nightmare is real and the only person you longed to share a family with is rejecting that reality. How foolish of you to believe your rockstar boyfriend would want to settle down so early with you. Sure it was poor timing but you thought your love was stronger than that. Maybe he didnât love you as much as you thought he did, at least not anymore.
âBaby please say something i didnt mean it, I donât know what i was saying.â He tries reaching for your hand. As you pry away from his grasp, his own eyes well up.
âYou know full well what you were saying, Jacob Thomas.â You reply your voice laced with venom as you slam the bedroom door in his face, locking it. You sit on the edge of his side of the bed just letting the sobs wrack through your body, hands smoothing over the barely there bump forming. Jake sits just opposite of the door listening in hoping he could find the right words to fix this.
He knows he was being melodramatic, he loves you how every fish in the sea loves water. You were his air, consuming his lungs like an aching necessity. He loves you like dry ground loves rain, just waiting to be basked in the showers of your outpouring affection. He loves you like all the stars and the moon love the night sky, as though you were home to him⌠as if it was natural to love you. Like there was no other being on this earth that was made to love him how you do. You were molded for him and he was mindless to not realize the immense amount of luck he had in being able to call you his. He struck gold and paid it no mind.
Dread now filling his every muscle, his throat closing as he realizes the severity of his actions. He hears ur pained cries muffled through the door and desperately wishes he could take it all back.
âBaby please, come on.. i know thereâs no excuse just let me fix thisâŚ. Pleaseâ he chokes out meekly. He steps back surprised as the door swings open, a duffel bag of your necessities slung over your shoulder. You see the hurt flash across his eyes as he makes eye contact, a silent plea to hear him out once he realizes whatâs happening.
âEnough Jake. Donât sit here and feel sorry for yourself. Enlighten me, if i hadnât heard that conversation would you have come back out as though everything was normal. A blatant lie to my face. Were you gonna voice this to me at all? Instead Iâm being labeled to ur brother as a âdreadful reminderâ. If youâre only with me for the baby JakeâŚâ you look down taking a deep breath trying to tame the aching lump in your throat before you continue on.
âIâve made the decision for you. I need space.â you finish, swiftly pushing past him.
âNo no no no no..â he starts hot on your trail
âIm not just with you for the baby, y/n. You mean so much more to me than that i- i was being stupid and selfish and i got caught up in my own personal fears it blinded me to the gift right of front of me. I swear y/n i was speaking out of my ass the arguments have been getting to me and I felt the lack of emotional intimacy i thought we were done for. When i came home the day we found out, I had been planning on talking to you about it. We lost our spark and i lost my motivation to try. And then seeing those tests i just freaked, i mean⌠can you blame me? This is fucking scary y/n!â You stared at him in silence taking in what he had to say, carefully calculating your response.
âI understand its scary, you forget Iâm the one carrying it as well. You donât think i feel guilty for essentially putting a pause on your career? And with these newfound hormones this is incredibly nerve-wracking especially with the lack of your emotional support! weâre supposed to be in this together! And youâve done nothing but treat me as if we havenât spent the last 5 long years of our life in unison Jacob! Do you know how frustrating it is to fall asleep every night next to a man who barely acknowledges your presence?! The person you fucking love completely dismissing your existence like Iâm some fucking burden! You have no idea the fear that ran through my body seeing those tests in the midst ofâŚ.. whatever the fuck this is!!â You exclaim waving your arms around gesturing to the now broken home. Tears now cascading endlessly down your face. You take a deep breath to collect yourself seeing how youâve let your emotions overpower the logic needed right now.
ââŚ.that was just another level of low Jacob. Youâre not you. I think we need timeâ you continue on teary-eyed. Voice weak from the amount of crying youâve done tonight.
You hear him calling out for you but its all muffled by the heart-shattering sound of your world seemingly crashing down around you. Tears well in your eyes as you turn to see a heartbroken, disheveled jake standing before you pleading you not to go.
âI love you, always will.â is the last thing you say before Jakes walls come tumbling down by the sound of the door slamming shut, tears clouding his vision.
âHow selfish can you be?â he thinks to himself, rubbing his face in distress.
Cracking open a bottle of whiskey he pads into the kitchen seeing all the ingredients laid out for what wouldâve been his favorite dinner. Untouched.. just lying there, a dreadful reminder of the detrimental effect of his actions. He falls asleep drunkenly on the kitchen floor that night, longing for your love and warmth to consume him again.
Fin.
#greta van fleet imagine#greta van fleet#gvf fic#jake kiszka#jake kiszka angst#jake kiszka smut#jacob thomas kiszka#josh kiszka#greta van fleet fan fiction#jake gvf#greta van angst#jake kiszka x reader#greta van fic#gvf smut#daniel wagner#sam kiszka#dreadful reminders#gretavanbrie#Jake kiszka fic#jake kiszka fanfiction#jake kiszka fanfic#angst#hurt#jake x reader#gvf imagines#jake kiszka fluff
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is it really you?
#inspired by this one tweet with that premise#despite everything its still you#i just made it edgier#i need to remind every sunday fan of my dreadful existence#sunday#art#fanart#honkai star rail#hsr#sunday hsr#hsr sunday#hsr fanart#penacony#sunday honkai star rail#robin#hsr robin#robin hsr
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inquisitor lavellan: đ§ââď¸is there....any chance that solas might listen to reason..?
everybody else:
#inquisitor lavellan#solavellan#dragon age#da:tv#veilguard spoilers#damn inquisitor lavellan you got the whole squad laughing#but not me!! not me!! i believe in you! and your love! this is how we can still win! we can turn this car around GET IN#can you imagine being her. like đ§ââď¸ everybody talking about how theyre gonna defeat the man you love#all these people who have seen his memories and seen his anguish but do not know him as you do#they only know him as the dread wolf who needs to be stopped but you still remember him as solas#you still believe he can be reminded of this too#damn this was suppose to be a silly lil post and now im sad
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i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing
and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him
heâs trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that heâs been through it and it doesnât change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)
meanwhile trans!soapâs just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghostâs thigh
just it never even entering ghostâs head bc heâs never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people whoâve been tortured - himself included - so of course thatâs his logical leap
soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, âactually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,â and ghostâs just teary-eyes with awe at how well heâs coping, âlooking on the bright side, thatâs my johnny.â
imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees heâs determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soapâs just like, âholy shit iâve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.â
#he a little confused but he got the spirit#its so good bc it can be super angsty of ghost really dreading whats been done to his sergeant and trying to make it right#or just go full crack treated seriously and have fun with it#i love just completely oblivious ghost#in any military context hes the smartest guy in the room#he always knows the play and has more experience than anyone#but stick him in the normal world? man is Lost#ghost just thinks hes had some kind of reconstruction surgery after being tortured and accepts thats what johnny looks like#bc hes never seen a pussy before#it takes years for soap to actually come out to him bc he just never thought to#hes seen him naked theyve literally slept together what else is there for him to say#then he shows him like a family album or something and ghosts just like âwhy arent you in any of these i only see girlsâ#and he just goes âhang on a secondâ#soap gets one of his sporadic periods one night and panics a little thinking it would weird ghost out or remind him that hes not cis#but ghost just thinks its a normal part of such a thorough reconstruction that hed bleed sometimes#and doesnt question it when soap grabs a pad out of his drawer bc âthats such a good way of handling the discharge my johnnys so smartâ#just really supportive ghost for the wrong reasons#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#weâre a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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I rlly like him⌠his character was written for me specifically
#mash#mash fanart#m*a*s*h#radar o'reilly#I know he leaves eventually DONâT REMIND ME#Iâm dreading the episode#hes just like me i would also bring my teddy bear to the war#I also loves his little scoff laugh I dont know why it just tickles me
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Watching Jurassic Park as a kid and the main takeaway understandably being wow!! dinosaurs :)) vs reading the book as an adult where itâs more along the lines of⌠John Hammond get in the submarine. The dinosaurs have literally already escaped the island and are running amok killing local infants before the main cast even gets there and presumably also nuking the local ecosystem. The raptors have killed multiple workmen and have a taste for human blood. He set up shop in Costa Rica so he could skirt around various regulations and also because he doesnât view the locals as real people worthy of not being eaten by dinosaurs. Heâs not only brought the dinosaurs back from the dead, heâs planning to immediately monetize this by exposing the public to newly zombified wild animals that the most accredited scientists have incredibly limited knowledge on. He invited his own grandchildren to an island populated by undead carnivores just so he could be like see! Would I invite my own grandchildren to skulldeath island if it was dangerous? Checkmate liberals! But thatâs exactly what he did!! He refuses to breed dinosaurs that wonât eat the guests even though they could literally do that because he wants the experience to be authentic or something?! Ian Malcolmâs over here prattling on about chaos theory and itâs like Iâm good man! I do not need mathematics to tell you this is going to end badly! Hammond is the most realistic depiction of a real life billionaire, utterly unconcerned with and unappreciative of the world he actually lives in because it doesnât allow him to play toys with the basic tenants of life and death, so instead of putting his money toward bettering the real world he tries to tear it up by the roots and build one perfectly tailored to his own preferences. John Hammond kys!!
#he would get in the submarine too#this book is so good at building up dread#every other sentence is like just a reminder this is going to go horribly awry and it didnât have to happen :)#jurassic park#john hammond#ian malcolm
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My spoiler tag is 'dragon age the veilguard spoilers' đ
#just as a reminder in case it helps to know ���#video games#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware
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"Bye Mister Max!"
"Bye Emira, have a nice day!" Smiles the human waving to the leaving youngling.
"Okay! How many do we have left? 1...2....3...hm. Only 5, small group." She sighs looking at the clock. Only 30 minutes to go till closing.
"So what do you kids want to--oh, Anthony! Your dads here!"
The human child ran to their parent, giving them a hug and babbling about what they did today.
"Alright, now only 4 left...wait where's Anwred?" Max mutters. He observes the room, 3 of the little ones were playing with the magnets on the carpet. Anthony and his dad were by the cubbies. Kim was cleaning up...where was Anwred???
"Oh hey buddy! What's your name?" asks Anthony's dad.
'Oh, there's Anwred.' Max thought.
The little youngling was peering up at the human parent. His little fur all messed up, likely from his afternoon nap, his little twin tails swished curiously on the floor, cheeks moving as they--
"What's in your mouth?!" yelled Max and Anthony's dad.
Max grabbed Anwred and forced open his little mouth while Anthony's dad helped hold him. After some hisses and wrangling, Max managed to yank out a plastic wrap from someone's snack.
"Anwred...we do not eat garbage. This will make you sick and hurt your tummy, do you understand?" Huffed a tired Max. Anwred stared up at him and the human sighed knowing there was not a single thought in the toddlers head.
"...guess it don't matter what species they are, little buggers will try to eat anything they're not supposed to." laughed Anthony's dad.
"Tell me about it. Kim, we're gonna have to go over trash with the kids again!" he calls out.
"So uh what is he?"
"Uh...he's mixed but I do know his mom is Wilko."
"Wilko huh? How old?"
"He's turning 3 in December."
"Aw, he's just a little pup then!"
"Ha, yeah."
"Are we doing a party for Anwred Mister Max?" asks Anthony.
"I don't know, we'll have to ask his parents."
"...wait he's a kid?" asks Anthony's dad.
"OH...Yeah...to be fair he isn't wearing clothes and isn't talking yet so...you new then?"
"Uh yeah, I just joined here with Anthony's sister...I just realized you put your hand in his mouth...and he has fangs, like shark teeth..."
"Yep. The teeth aren't that sharp yet. Like taking something from a human child."
"...I...I don't..."
"If you actually think about all the stuff you've experienced with your own kids and compare it to this then you'd realize it ain't that different."
"...y'know what, your right. I once had to get stitches from when Anth here threw a rock at me thinking it was the same as a tennis ball."
"There you go."
#wanted to mix things up with a human reacting to how weird an alien kid is#and then remind everyone yet again that human children are not that different#from 0-4 parents feel the same dread a dog owner does when they see them chewing on something they didn't give em#let that sink in#also that rock thing happened to me but I dodged so it didn't hit me#also i'm sick with something and I blame the kid from work who licked my face totally unprompted#another thing kids have in common with dogs! unprompted licking!!#humans are space oddities#humans are space orcs#the adventures of kim and max running a space child centre
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Get husked idiot lol
#wips below cut as usual#isat spoilers#isat loop#isat fanart#isat#my art#2hats spoilers#this thing. went through so many revisions#at least im done and can draw smth else dear god#i always look at bigfrin like oo cool starlight body guess who that reminds me of?#then i revoked their glow lol#i would have made light outlines but it looked dreadful so maybe next tome#they were supposed to be red but that didnt happen for similar reasons
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Sabine being BARELY force sensitive is honestly amazing. I was going in pre-pissed because I fully expected them to hamfist Sabine being a jedi but they did it so well. She isn't force null bit from what I can tell, she wasn't as sensitive as a jedi would be. In a pre-o66 world, Sabine would NEVER have been trained as a Jedi.
Basically this fact - that Sabine isn't suddenly amazingly force sensitive - has changed this development from a mary sue waiting to happen, to a really really cool direction for her character to go in. It's now the story of someone working through a handicap. I mean how interesting is the idea of Sabine becoming a fully fledged jedi despite her lack of force sensitivity???? How creative will she have to get to get around her lack?
#ahsoka#ahsoka spoilers#sabine wren#when i tell you guys im excited#i went from dreading jedi!sabine to chomping at the bit for it#like this reminds me so much of ahsokas introduction in the clone wars#how she was made deliberately annoying so that her change to amazing was seen as character frowth and made people love her#we were all fooled into thinking it was gonna be a forced gurlboss thing#BUT NO
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Dreadful Reminders // part two (J.T.K.)
Summary: The brewing tension in your relationship seems to be pulling your love at the seams. What will happen when what is supposed to be happy news, only tears you apart further. Is one mindless phone call the end of it all?
Pairings: Jake Kiszka x f!reader
Warnings: angst (like.. hella angst), soft smut (MINORS DNI!!!), heartbreak, crying, feelings of anger, isolation, mentions of alcohol consumption, swearing, sad!Jake, excessive apologies, talks of pregnancy, arguing, soft!Jake, flashbacks that might pull at your heart strings just a smidge, heavy dialogue towards the end, oral f!receiving, light impact play like once if you really squint, nipple play, softdom!Jake, terrible singing (I feel like that deserves a warning lmao), if I missed anything please lmk!!
A/N: This is Part 2!! She is longgg and lengthy so buckle up! If you have not yet read the first part I highly recommend you do so. I want to thank those who read the first part I hope the second does the first some justice, this chapter has a lot more dialogue and context between Jake and y/n. All flashbacks are italicized!!! I do not have a tag list yet so I apologize. I also want to give an honorable mention to my best friend who helped co-write the smut. Without further ado, enjoy!!
Part 1
ââââââââââââââââââââ
After the feud you questioned the half decade spent with Jake. Had you done something to push him away? You had a bad habit of blaming yourself for things that were never in your control, but how could he? The situation left you with nothing but guilt and questioning. How were you meant to go through this pregnancy on your own? Desperately craving guidance and clarity.
The minute the door closed behind you, you couldnât help the overwhelming feeling of guilt wash over your body. You drug your feet down the paved road to your car slugging your bag along. You felt pathetic for silently wishing heâd come chasing after you, to feel wanted for the first time in what felt like forever. But he never did, he never came running out.
The hole in your chest now a pathetic excuse for a heart.
You opened your car door throwing your bag in the back. You let out a long sigh, throat tight on the brink of tears.. yet again. Resting your head on the steering wheel you replay the events of tonight. You felt silly for being so dramatic, I mean packing up and leaving? Because your feelings were hurt? A part of you knew not to be too hard on yourself, your emotions were at an all time high. That didnât help the tiny daggers Jakes words metaphorically threw at you.
The question aching in your chest the most is, how are you meant to go through these next 9 months without him. You felt so alone. Where were you even meant to go in the mean time? I mean at least until you could collect yourself and contact someone. You thought back to all of the happy times with Jake. A memory in particular tugging at your heart strings, you put your car in reverse knowing exactly where you were going. The long drive seemed to have cleared your mind enough to put an end to the incessant crying.
Is it better to hurt than to feel nothing at all?
You questioned yourself as you pulled into the long dirt road leading to the old wooden cabin the boys have used for years. Putting your car in park you silently curse yourself for wanting to be away from Jake but ending up in the one place that is littered with remnants of him. The universe had a funny way of mocking you, the irony of it all almost humorous.
Stepping inside you took in everything around you. The old rugs scattered across the floor, some equipment still left behind. You ran your fingers across the mic stand recalling your fondest memory in this place. The memory that lead you here. Longing for a sliver of comfort, even if you had to milk it out of an old memory.
Feeling the lump in your throat return once again you peeled your hands off and made your way to the bedroom youâve become unmistakably familiar with. You settled into the bed you and him used to share fighting back the tears not bothering to change out of jakes ratty old sweatshirt.
Sleep clouded your mind accompanied by a singular thought relentlessly repeating as you finally allowed your body rest.
What have I done wrong?
âââââââââââââââââ
Jake awoke to the front door slamming shut, the incessant pounding of his head and foot steps approaching. Peeling his top half off the floor, his eyes squint from the harshness of the light seeping in through the windows.
âClose the blinds.â He says rather harshly, sensing its his twin.
âWell good morning to you as well, dear brother. You look awfulâ he says with an insufferable smirk. Jake shoots him a sarcastic smile, not in the mood for his antics.
âYou reek of booze man, what the fuck is wrong with you.. whereâs y/n?â. Jake stays quiet for a moment as memories from the previous night flood his brain. His chest now tight, fighting back tears as he realizes what he thought was a nightmare is in fact real.
âSheâs gone.â Is all he mutters before he stands up. Just as quickly as he got up, he sunk back down. Josh grabbing ahold of his brothers arm right in the nick of time.
âHow much did you drink Jake?â Josh asks rhetorically, prying the whiskey bottle from Jakes hands.
âWhatever happened is a conversation for another time, get your shit together or weâre gonna be late. You knew we had an interview, im not letting you embarrass us.â He says sternly pointing a finger in his brothers direction.
Jake stumbles to your guyâs room not bearing the sight of some of your belongings still scattered about the space. He rakes his fingers through his hair as he breathes out a heavy sigh fighting back the new set of tears. One managed to escaped and cascaded down his face. A dreadful reminder of your absence.
Taking a quick 5 minute shower in hopes of somehow washing off his guilt. Noticeably failing at doing so, the ache in his chest only grew stronger. Splashing the water on his face to wake himself up before stepping out. Glancing towards your toothbrush as he went to grab his, he heaves a shaky breath. The best word to describe how he felt was sorrowful. He couldnât even be mad at himself, he knows heâd have his bags packed and out the door as well had he heard the unforgivable words spoken from him.
He canât even pin the reason behind his actions either. Conjuring excuses and dismissing them immediately, knowing this is irreversible. He finished brushing his teeth throwing on his over-worn jeans, a button up and his tattered boots. Reaching for his cologne his breath hitched in his throat. The memory of when he first started wearing it flashing before his eyes.
-
âI love this scent on you honeyâ you whispered peering up at him through your eyelashes, your soft breaths surely tickling his neck. The sun shining perfectly on your face.
âgod what a woman, a temptress of the earth.â He thinks to himself.
Jake stuck a little flower heâs been holding onto in your hair as you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your chin on his chest shining him your brightest smile. You both giggled as the wind blew your hair wistfully across your face.
âIâd wear it for you so long as Iâm alive, my dearâ he says cupping your face, cherishing the sweetness of your soft lips.
-
The memory now plaguing his mind, taunting him of what he so selfishly sabotaged.
âGet yourself the fuck together dudeâ he whispered before picking up the bottle and spraying himself. He trudged out of the bedroom.
âLetâs go Josh.â He says quickly before making his way out the door.
âââââââââââââââââ
The drive to the radio station was thankfully short, ever since you left jake has hated silence. His thoughts being far too loud in the stillness of the once lively four walls. The boys were headed back to their respective homes. Jake in disassociation, quickly snapped out by danielâs words.
âWhat was up with you today man? Talk about a man of few wordsâ he jokes trying to make light of the awkward tension during the interview, painfully unaware of the distress Jake was in. Poor Danny was just trying to lighten the mood, Jake however didnât care for it.
âI suppose Iâve got my own shit to worry about, you should try it sometime.â Jake mutters, leaving Danny dumbfounded. Guilt immediately creeping itâs way through his brain. He already lost you, the last thing Jake wants is bad blood with someone else.
âIâm sorry man that was harsh, I just have a lot on my mind. I also mightâve had one too many drinks last night⌠i think i let them catch up to meâ he gives a small chuckle in hopes of alleviating the tension. Sam and Danny joke back. His twinâs eyes shooting daggers his direction, believing none of it.
Back at the cabin you finally stirred awake, nauseous for the second morning. Realizing youâre not at home, thoughts of last night hit you like a semi. You curl back up in the sheets wishing for this to be some sick, sick dream. Sure, some may write you off as dramatic but youâre so young, only a few years younger than Jake and you feel as though he forgets this is just as scary for you as it is him. When you dreamt of having a baby you pictured Jake by your side, in it for the long haul.
You tried fighting the unceasing waves of nausea as you rummaged for something to eat in the kitchen. Settling on some toast and lemon honey tea, you made a mental note to head to the shops in hopes of getting your mind off things.
You opened the French doors that led to the beautiful backyard deck and the land that stretched for miles and miles just enjoying the serenity of it all. Sipping your tea you ponder for a moment. You decide youâve allowed yourself enough time to feel sorry for yourself. Now all that is left is making the best of the situation. You are a strong resilient soul, you need to energetically be the best you can be for you and this beautiful soon-to-be life the two of you have created. You decided to head into town today to pick up some baby and parenthood books, maybe an incredibly early start but it seems like youâll be spending a lot of time here anyway.
You take a shower to wash yesterday off you, preparing for this new start. Putting on light makeup and combing through your locks you dress yourself in a white sundress you thrifted long ago slipping on some shoes and heading out.
You stop at a farmers market and recall the first summer you and Jake spent alone at the cabin, he had a break from tour and he made it a point to come and spend some one-on-one time.
He went and bought you a singular wildflower from every vender he could find until eventually you had a custom-made bouquet. Stopping and picking out fruits and cheeses together to later be shared in the garden that evening. Picking up cheap bottles of wine to share while the two of you slow danced in the back yard. He got a new cologne that day as well. A moment so tender shared between the two of you, cherished in your heart forever.
Not wanting to stay long you waltz around the closest towns local library flipping through every parenthood and childcare book you could find. Collecting a few to take home, you pay and head back.
As you were washing and cutting the fruits, âTil There Was Youâ started playing on the old Beatles vinyl in the background. You smiled remembering the song fondly, one of jakes favorites. Little did you know it was only his favorite because of the drunken show you put on for him one night singing along terribly to the song as your friends talked and laughed around you guys. Your cheeks pink and flushed either from the liquor in your system, or embarrassment. Jake didnât seem to care, you looked beautiful as ever to him in that moment.
You leave the record playing as you curl up in a blanket on the couch diving into one of the many books you bought today. A sliver of peace filling your body, things are starting to look up.
A few hours pass and you finally decide to plug in your phone not having bothered with it since the argument. The screen illuminates indicating battery life, you see no calls from Jake and one missed call from josh. Hurt strikes through your chest as you realize maybe he didnât want you around after all. You hesitate before calling Josh back, a glimmer of hope in your heart.
It only took a couple rings for Josh to pick up and his voice booms through your ear.
âY/n!! Finally you answer! Where have you been?! You never disappear this long, you and Jake are practically inseparable!â He exclaims. You grimace as you think back to the things Jake told him.
âI mean this respectfully Josh, but cut the shit. I heard everything he said to you last night on the phone. Since Iâm so bothersome in my own home, Iâve taken some time away from everybody.â You say
âA-and please JoshâŚ. Donât tell anyone about the baby yet, i wanna get through this by myself first.â You plead, voice dripping with nervousness.
You hear the other end of the line fall silent for a moment before a heavy sigh escapes his mouth, him now getting a clue as to why he found a sweaty drunken Jake lying on the kitchen floor next to unpacked groceries. He begins to speak.
âListen Iâm sorry about my brother, I told him he needs to get his head out of his ass. There are many ways you guys can make this work but heâs stubborn. Iâm confused where this is stemming from because this is all heâs ever wanted with you, I donât know why heâs running from it now.â You can hear things being moved around and voices yelling in the back.
âListen i have some people over right now i have to go but can you at least tell me where you are so i know youâre safe?â His voice coated in concern.
âThe first summer we said i love you josh, Iâm at the cabin.â
ââââââââââââââââââââ-
Later that evening Jake finds himself at his desk sifting through old film pictures you guys took together, the two of you preferring physical proof of the intimate moments rather than digital. That isnât to say you didnât have any, these were just far more special to the two of you.
Jake has never felt a love like yours and he senselessly tossed it all out of the window. He knew he wanted a family with you, he just got scared of the responsibility of juggling the band and a family life. He opened a drawer full of all the wilted flowers, saved letters and notes, movies and concert tickets, hundreds of tiny nick nacks the two of you have collected over time. His eyes fall upon an old polaroid from the lake house, your cheeks sunburned, your hair kissed by the sun as you had your lips gently placed on jakes cheek. His smile shining brighter than ever, a slight pink tinge to the apples of his cheeks.
You two had just started dating. He invited you out to see his writing process, eager to have you mesh with the one thing he loves most. Jake had no idea youâd be a contiguous second. You two had spent all day in the sun reading together as the rest of the boys swam about the river. Jake caught a glimpse of his future with you, Both of you old, sat in your backyard watching your children, and eventually grandchildren, play about the land. He peered over to you and saw your rosy cheeks and nose buried in a book with ur legs up to ur chest in the lawn chair. You looked like you were exactly where you belonged. Next to him enjoying the comfortable silence. His favorite summer with you.
-
You peeled your eyes from the fascinating story nestled in your hands only to be met with your lovers, already drinking you in. you see the long-haired boy shoot you warm smile knowing heâs been caught.
âWhatcha looking at, rockstarâ you smirk. Jake felt his heart flutter, your voice smooth like tupelo honey. Never has a woman had him in this much of a chokehold.
âOh nothing⌠just my beautiful, beautiful girlâ he says standing up from his seat beside you. He made his way to you resting his arms on each side of the chair essentially trapping you in. His torso bent over you as you look up at Jake the sun eclipsed by his head creating a beautiful halo glow around him. His skin sheen with the glistening sweat from the hot summer air. His hair tussled around from the lake water. Youâve never looked at him with so much adoration and love, and Jake could spot it from miles away. His heart began pumping faster and faster. You guys hadnât even been together a year yet, was it too soon?
He finally speaks up âI was just admiring how natural this feels, here, with you. Wouldnât trade it for the worldâŚâ He whispers trailing off as his eyes dart across your face, admiring the way the sun shone just right. His hands cupping your face like a missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle. Everything felt so right.
â..I love you.â he continued on, entranced by your loving gaze.
It wasnât a grand gesture, not that you were one for those anyway. It was intimate, a moment shared between you two, and you two only. It wasnât forced, it wasnât used for show. It was real and it was natural. Youâre immensely thankful Jake was emotionally secure enough to be so open and vulnerable with you.
A small smile tugged at your lips as your already sunburnt cheeks flushed to an even more crimson shade. Jake swore he felt his knees buckle. Though you hadnât replied just yet, Jake knew. The love in your eyes sold it. His body still leaning over your own sat in the lawn chair, you pull him down a bit further by his necklace placing a gentle kiss to his soft lips.
âI love you more, my Jake.â you whisper as you pull away.
-
Jake replays the memory in his head. Itâs been you all along. He was so blinded by his own bad habits, he shut you out. The one thing in his 27 years of life aside from his music that actually made him feel something. You were his wildest most cherished dream, left wilting from his own venom laced words. Slamming the drawer shut, Jake wasted no time grabbing his keys making his way to the car. No plan in mind.
His only purpose being to get his woman back, to make things right.
Picking his phone up he frantically dials Josh.
âJosh? Josh? hello?â Jake spews into the phone hearing josh pick up.
âWhatâs up?â Josh answers.
âI need you to tell me where y/n is at. I know youâve kept in contact, she tells you everything. I donât care what you say. I need her back. Sheâs the one josh i-i- i canât lose her.â The long haired boy proclaimed choking back sobs. Josh had never heard his brother in such distress.
âEven if i make a fool of myself i need to show her Iâm hers indefinitely. Ive made no efforts in proving that to her and especially now that sheâs carrying my baby I canât let that slip out of reach. Please Joshua⌠i need this.â He breathes. Josh is silent contemplating if he should say something. Hearing the anguish in his little brothers voice, he canât bear to keep it from him any longer.
âLook i wonât say too much. Just think of your favorite summer, itâs evidently hers as well. I gotta go, ill talk to u laterâ
âThank you thank you thank y-â Jake is cut off by josh ending the call. He wastes no time rushing to you. Mentally preparing for this long drive ahead of him.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
You sat on the living room floor mindlessly flipping through old magazines that were once neatly tucked in a corner, boredom obviously taking its course. The phone call with josh long forgotten about, since then youâve changed into jakes old band tee you found in one of the drawers here. You hear tires on the dirt road and headlights making its way towards the house. Frightened, you pick up a kitchen knife clutching your bra less chest. You hold your breath as a car door slams and footsteps approach.
A soft knock on the cabin door and you feel the hairs on your arms raise. You peek your eye in the peep hole, after seeing who was behind the door you wouldâve much rather it have been a murderer. Seeing those smooth caramel eyes youâve missed so much only pains you, and reminds you of the hurt he caused. Every harsh word now on repeat. You sigh setting the knife down and pulling the door open.
âHelloâ You greet, voice small.
âYou sound patheticâ you think to yourself
âY/n pleaseâŚ. I know its so soon and you without a doubt deserve space but I canât bear another second without. God i was so stupid, youâve given me nothing but undeniable support and love and Iâve taken that for granted. I shouldâve talked things ou-â
âjakeâŚâ you cut him off, the softness of your voice ringing in his ears like music from angels themselves. Heâs been craving the sound of your voice.
âPlease just come inside and weâll talk you havenât even stepped foot in the doorâ you continue
âSo.. youâll hear me out? We can fix this right?â His eager eyes bouncing back and forth between your own, searching for some sort of non-verbal answer.
âI never said that JacobâŚâ you trail off allowing him to step inside.
âCan i grab you anything to drink?â You offer, Jake mesmerized by your hospitality even in the midst of a broken heart. He didnât think he could be more enamored by you, but alas.
âIâm not some random guest y/n, i want to prove to you how sorry i am. Please..â he whispers inching closer to you. You look down a sigh escaping past your lips. You look back up at him, he sees the hurt flash in your eyes as you recall the phone call.
âWhy did you say those things?â Keeping steady eye contact. It was now your turn to look for the answers in his irises.
âI donât know honey, I donât know.. the only logical explanation i can give you is i was scared. But thatâs no excuse and iâm fully aware. Things had already been so bad between us it was eating me alive. I thought if I wasnât even able to care and provide for you how I shouldâve the last 2 months, how was i meant to provide for an entirely new human? I realized i was treating you in a way i never thought I would in a million years. I promised myself to cherish a love like yours should i ever have the privilege of being graced by your love and affection and i was blind. So fucking blind. Kids havenât always been my thing baby you know that and i want nothing more than to have this with you now and to have a family to call our own. Iâve come to my senses. I donât know what washed over me i let my fear get the best of me. I usually know what to say but thereâs no words in the English language to describe the sorrow i feel. Iâm so fucking sorry y/n.â He finishes blinking away the brewing tears. You sit almost mute if it werenât for your shaky breathing.
âPlease.. say something, anythingâ he pleads, a tear rolling down his cheek.
âJake i wanna forgive you Iâm just hurt, 5 years and not once have i been treated like this by you. I thought, you know, telling you the news would alleviate the tension between us. I was hoping youâd somehow realize it was all silly, and the fighting wasnât like us. Instead you pushed me away further. Am i so terrible Jacob?â You ask dropping your gaze to your feet.
âNo my love, i was just being foolish and immature. I let emotions cloud logic, I spoke what felt right at the time being and it was the worst mistake of my life. If i could take it all back i would, you have no fucking idea the lengths iâd go to undo my actions.â He says taking your face in his hand. Closing your eyes, you nestle your cheek into the warmth of his calloused palm.
Oh, how youâve missed this. You quickly snap out of it before continuing on.
âwhere were you that morning, Jake? josh called asking for you but you said you were with the boys.â you say peeling your cheek away from his hand. Chest rising and falling with anticipation.
âI was with them for the first part of the morning my love, i was. But i did slip out the minute it was over instead of hanging around how they always do. I went to grab some breakfast to try and untangle the mess that was my brain at the time. I saw a dad alone with his two daughters, i think the mom mightâve been busy but the dad looked so worn out. Completely defeated, and it scared me. Itâs still no excuse for the way i treated you prior to the news. I was taking my workload home with me and i pinned faults on you to try and alleviate some of the tension. Iâm so sorry baby, you donât deserve it at all. You were nothing but patient with me a- and-â his voice cracks his head now hung in shame as his throat tightens up, tears slipping past the ducts.
â-and i failed you y/n. I ran home and called josh to try and gain some sensibility. I voiced the intrusive thoughts that were in no way the truth. I think i just let everything get to my head and i went into this existential questioning mode. Iâll regret it eternally.â he continues, lips now parted flicking his eyes between your own.
âMy Jake, Iâm not upset at you being scared. This is terrifying. Weâre so young i donât expect you to have this figured out. Youâre doing so well with your music. I feel terrible, you have no idea. But iâm just as scared as you are. This is supposed to be a help me help you. No matter how terrifying, this was painstakingly meant for us. This was in store for us whether we like it or not and i honestly couldnât be more grateful, Jake. I know we can make this work. If thereâs anyone in the world Iâd want this with its you, I need to you to be emotionally presentâŚplease jakeâ you say hopeful.
âI know we can honey, and I will. You wonât ever have to worry about anything. You can quit your job, Iâll provide for the three of us, you wonât have to lift a finger anymore. You can come with us on tour and iâll be by your side every step of the way. I will make sure the traveling is as comfortable as can be for my pregnant little ladyâ he says pulling you in closer by the hand.
âIâm gonna need time Jake, i canât just ask that of you. And to be frank, your words hurt. Everything is so fresh we canât just move past it in one day. You didnât even call me or anything Jake, radio silence. I understand if that was the space you needed but not even to check if Iâm okay?â You choke.
âI know my love, Iâm incredibly disappointed with myself you have no idea. I shouldâve called. I just knew if I were in your shoes I wouldnât have wanted to be around me either. I figured the least I could do was give you the space you needed. You donât know how desperately I wanted to call you and text you and run out there, but that wouldâve been selfish of me. To say hurtful things and beg you to stay? I deserved youâre absence. I shouldâve reached out. Iâm so fucking sorry. I have no clue what got to me it was all nonsense, I was being incredibly immatureâ
âItâs just disappointing, what did I do wrong Jake?â You whisper your eyes flicking between his plump lips and his caring eyes.
âNothing baby, you did absolutely nothing wrong. I was being an asshole. You donât deserve that in the slightest. Let me show you how sorry i am baby, let me take care of youâ he whispers lips connecting with your pulse point, the light suction sending chills down your spine.
âIâm sorry, my love. Iâm so sorryâ gently whispering fighting the crack in his voice, punctuating each apology with a kiss to ur soft skin.
âJake please not right no-â youâre cut off by his lips crashing onto yours. Your lips move together like it was the first time youâd ever shared a kiss, eager and love drunk.
âlet me make things right.â He whispers resting his forehead on your own.
âYouâre all Iâve ever neededâ moving to place a kiss behind your ear.
âJake pleaseâ you breathe.
âIâm sorryâ he repeats again but only gripping the larger fitting t-shirt of his clung around your body.
His lips meet yours again as he slowly backs you into the counter. Kneeling down in front of you, feeling your hands trace over the top of his head strumming through his long hair. Jake begins pulling at the hem of the shirt the smell of vanilla permeating his nose. The kiss ceases as you realize where this is going.
âJake we canât do this, we have to-â your frantic words seem to go dormant as your shirt is quickly discarded. He strokes the back of your legs and ass pulling your lower half further into him, staring at each other with your lust-filled eyes.
âI just need to taste you, show you how much I need you.â He plants a kiss to your abdomen, finger hooking the thin fabric uncovering the sweet pool of honey.
âIs this okay baby?â he hums against your skin.
You let out a whimper, his lips quirk up in a smile knowing you wanted this just as bad.
The underwear falls as he guides your legs upward to help you step out of them, kicking it to the side using the counter to support your weight. Letting your right leg sit comfortably on his shoulder as he circles your clit with his thumb. Looking deep into your eyes and watching you cave under his touch is more than he can handle, your his greatest strength and undeniable weakness.
Wasting no time, his tongue hungrily glides through your folds, jake completely enamored by the sweetness of your aching cunt. God how you missed him. Heâs desperate at this point, the impression of his fingers on your skin, the way your chest drops with every exhale, the tug of your bottom lip between your teeth as your head drops back. The way you fuck back into his face as though this insatiable hunger for one another isnât one sided.
He pulls back emitting a whimper from you. He quickly but gently bends you over the counter. Admiring the heart shape your ass resembles, he gives a light smack. A smile dances across his lips at the absolute bliss upon your once tear-stained face. He sprinkles light kisses over the small of your back before running his hand back over your soaking wet slit.
âSpread your legs beautiful, I need to see all of youâ to which you gracefully oblige.
âAtta girlâ he smirks. You swear you could climax from his words alone.
He licked one long stripe starting from your taint stopping just shy of your clit before sucking slightly, his tongue then running up and down the small crevice, your arousal being lapped as though this were his last meal.
âJesus Christ JakeâŚâŚ.so goodâ you whimper, your breathy moans like the soft song of a siren, reeling him in stronger than ever before.
âall I ever want is to make you feel good honey, Iâm all yoursâ he says before continuing one of his favorite acts of service. He snakes a hand up to your breasts giving one a light squeeze. He slowly pinched and rolls your sensitive nipple in between his pointer and thumb eliciting a pornographic moan from you.
âYouâre all mineâ he says, ravenously burying his face into your dripping cunt.
You arch your back lifting your ass giving him more access to what seemed to be his own personal form of heroin, an insatiable hunger only you could satisfy. Youâre close, and he knows it too. Keeping the tempo he begins to bring both knees to the hardwood kitchen floor in attempts to give you the chance to slightly sit on his face.
He drops his hold on your breasts using the same hand to circle your clit continuing his assault. The newfound feeling of synchronization between his tongue and finger becoming too much to handle.
âMy god Jake, Iâm so closeâ you groan pulling his hair for leverage. You start grinding into his mouth before allowing yourself to fully submit to the feeling.
â Iâm cum-â you squeak out before the rush of your orgasm cuts you off.
Jake starts massaging your side as physical praise. The nectar drips from your cunt into his mouth, Jake hums in approval at your arousal. You ride out your high on his face. You look back at him with lust and admiration. He pulls back and turns you around grasping your thighs as he begins to clean you with his mouth. Repeated kisses on your legs and stomach. The maintained eye contact, trying to burn this moment into his brain. You look down at him pushing the single strand of hair out of his now glistening face. He stares up at you.
âYou look so pretty when you come on my face you know?â He smirks.
You roll your eyes and smile. Searching for the now discarded t-shirt. Jake stands up collecting himself. He pulls you in by the arm before you can get dressed.
âI love you immensely y/n, i will spend every waking day of my life proving that to our little familyâ he says placing a gentle kiss to your forehead.
âI was so stupid my love, I had everything Iâve ever dreamed of and I took advantage. Iâm not asking you to forgive me right away but just know I will fight for you until my deathbedâ he continued, pulling you into his embrace.
âPlease just communicate your thoughts with me Jake, weâve been in this so long. This needs to be a help me help you. No matter how irrational you think the issue may be. I love you far too much to be apart from youâ You say staring into his eyes. He places a hand over his heart before solemnly swearing to do so.
The two of you make your way into the old bedroom, his eyes sadden at your clothes spilling out of the duffel bag in the corner. It may have only been 24 hours apart but it shouldnât even have come to that. His heart clenched at the thought of you feeling like you had to resort to isolation. Although, he knows he wouldâve done the same had he been in your shoes. He grabs your hand pulling you into his chest, fingers scratching at your scalp. The way he held you was enough to relive you of any hurt or ailment in your body. The intimacy and closeness you two lacked for so long finally shining through like a streak of sunlight in a window after a terrible storm. You feel the shakiness of his breath before he begins to speak.
âI know Iâve said it many times before my love, but I truly am sorry. You shouldnât have been alone. God, how scared you mustâve been.â He breathes looking up as if to hold back the tears fighting to escape.
âThinking of you falling asleep by yourself last night is agonizing. I shouldâve been there for you.â He whispers.
âWhat happened, happened Jakey. Letâs not dwell on what we can no longer change. Please⌠I donât wanna think about it any longer. I want to focus on moving forward. I want to be the best version of me for our childâ you say pulling away, both of you looking down to your abdomen with sad smiles.
âDid you come here because it was the first time we said i love you to eachother?â He blurts, eyes darting between your own. Scared of what you might say.
âMaybe..â you flush, shying your face away. A smile lights up his face.
âThe moment was just so perfect, Jake. So intimate. Something special just for us, no interruptions. We were so happy, young, and in love. After we said it we got so drunk Jakey, you serenaded me with that mic all night. Any song I spoke of you strummed that guitar immediately. I knew i wanted you forever, right then and there.â You giggled
âI was quite the serenader, wasnât i?â he jokes. Pulling you in by your waist he looks up smiling as he recalls the memory.
âI will play as many songs if it means I can see your pretty smileâ he says leaning down giving you a peck on the lips. You two just held each other for a moment before deciding a shower was your best bet after your little reconciliation.
The shower was nothing short of intimate. Soft touches, hands raking through each others hair as the shampoo lathers. Just basking in each others presence. The two of you sat in silence, not a word uttered. You guys seemed to have an unspoken mutual agreement that you needed to make up for lost time in touches. It had been so long since Jake had been so attentive and gentle with you. You finally felt the love you two once had circle its way back. He stayed behind you washing the conditioner from your hair.
âI love you babyâ Jake states, breaking the silence. He reaches around, kissing you softly.
âYouâre divine, my woman. I canât get enough of you, Iâm sorry again baby.â He says pecking your shoulder. You hum in adoration letting your head rest back on his shoulder as he lathers your body.
You two wrap up the shower after having taken the time to allow yourselves to attentively care for one another again.
You sit naked on the bed with a towel in your hair, book in hand, neither of you bothering to change. Just eager to finally be in each others presence again. Jake is walking around the room, collecting your scattered clothes and packing them up.
âMy Jake, just come lay downâ you whine wanting nothing but to lay in bed together, to feel a long awaited sense of normalcy between the two of you. You close your book and set it beside you as you watch him circle the room.
âSoon my lady, one more thingâ he says, a smirk worn proudly like he was scheming something. He waltzed into the closet finding his old straw hat. He rests it atop his head picking up his old acoustic. Still unclothed , the instrument acting as a garment for his lower half. He strums the familiar tune to âTil There Was Youâ. Your smile beams as you recall the old Beatles song.
âThought Iâd put on a long awaited show on for my special lady and our little beanâ He laughs unable to take himself seriously. You giggle as well before responding.
âTake it away, my love!â you encourage as he begins singing the song purposefully off key. Fingers strumming perfectly to the tune.
âNo, i never sawrrrrrr them at alllllllllllâ he exaggerates.
You two break out into fits of laughter as he rids himself of his guitar and hat diving into bed with you. The room falls silent as you guys lay, you remove your the towel from your hair getting comfortable under the covers. Jake silently admiring your glow, coming to the realization its been lost for so long. Ever since he grew distant, you didnât shine the same, even hearing your laugh tonight struck something within him. Heâs pained heâs the cause of your light dimming. He finally speaks up, breaking the comfortable silence.
âThank you for giving me the chance to prove myself to you again. You deserve to shine baby.â He whispers into your neck
âMhm, donât make me regret itâ you squint your eyes at him playfully. You both laugh before sighing in contentment.
âYou know I saw the food laying on the counter, I wish i could take it all back. Iâll thank you endlessly.â He says nuzzling his head into your neck entangling your legs together as his torso rested atop yours. Enjoying the intimacy of laying unclad together, itâs been far too long.
âI just never want you to speak of me like that behind my back again, I felt so unwanted. I trust that youâll communicate those thoughts to me directly from now onâ you say playing with strands of his hair.
âWeâre too old for that kind of stuff now, Jakey.â You continue on.
âIâll never let anything come between us again, i will stop at nothing to ensure your happiness. And 9 months from now i shall do the same for the little oneâ he says drawing shapes on your stomach. A newfound appreciation for one another, a tighter metaphorical knot now formed between the both of you. You two were made for each other and you know your baby will be so loved. Now its just one step at a time. You wouldnât trade him for the world, he lays there completely and irrevocably enthralled by your love.
Fin.
#gvf fic#jake kiszka angst#josh kiszka#dreadful reminders#greta van angst#greta van fleet#greta van fleet imagine#gvf angst#gvf smut#jake kiszka#jake kiska fic#jake kiskza x reader#jake kiszka fanfiction#jake gvf#Jake x reader#Daniel Wagner#Sam kiszka#Jacob Thomas kiszka#greta van fic#greta van fleet fanfiction#jake kiszka fic#jake kiszka fanfic#jake kiszka fluff#angst to fluff#gretavanbrie#angst#josh kiszka angst#josh kiszka smut
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"You didn't even falter, didn't look back once, did you? So Samson blamed Delilah, but given half the chance I would have made him weaker too."
Please do not save, repost, or edit these gifs for any reason, use the reblog button instead. Also please do not interact if youâre a celeb rp blog or if you write taboo content on your blog, thank you!
#@ the tags - reminder to please be respectful of madeline's wishes and don't sexualize her in my tags. thank you! <3#madeline ford#mfordedit#madelinefordedit#userdevon#modeledit#gifs:mine#ches elswood#just gonna ignore the overwhelming sense of dread that stems from dealing with certain members of her fandom and just hit post whelp#also i didn't even know what the caption this with#but history of man (a true masterpiece) is FINALLY having it's moment#so yeah go listen to history of man by maisie peters <3
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After referencing numerous diagrams, avian necropsy records, and my own prior knowledge of human musculoskeletal structure, I have devised speculative anatomical structure for Chozo.
We'll start small with my first attempts to properly chart basic skeletal structure from last year (seeing as how that's what I used as a jumping off point), then move on to the research-based stuff. I wanted to walk through the process of solving problems presented by the skeletal structure.
First we have a cursory look at the ribcage. Drafted June 7, 2023. Leaning into the more humanoid appearance.
New addition, May 2024: a first shot at sussing out wing bones. These bones need to be much, much larger to accommodate the full breadth of the limb: this is just a rough outline. The skeleton also needs to bear muscles that are strong enough to carry the Chozo in flight, hence the new protrusion on the chest: a keel. Two variants of this new breast came out of this drawing session: one with a large keel that extends below the sternum and one with a normal keel.
Image credit: Wikipedia
Human ribcages have this ridge along the bottom that the last six ribs are attached to (noted in grey on the image above). We're not doing that with the Chozo ribcage.
The sternum is the structure in the middle, which the ribs are attached to. See those two bones attached to the top of each side of the sternum, stretching away from the center of the ribs and forming sort of a capital "T" silhouette? Those are the clavicles. When you're drawing any humanoid form, the clavicles are an excellent landmark (and as I've been taught, the first place you should start on anatomy after you've laid out your pose, armature, etc).
It's also part of why wings are so difficult to suss out on Chozo skeletons. In birds, a bone that consists of a fusion of the two clavicles is a crucial part of flight: the clavicle bridges the gap between the ribs and the arms, and for birds, the wings are their arms. That's problem number one: effectively consolidating two pairs of arms on one torso.
We have a few bones to add onto the human skeleton in order to make flight possible for Chozo. First, we'll assume all bones are hollow. This makes them lighter, demanding considerably less energy to lift them off the ground in the first place.
I've modified the sternum to add a keel, which the base flight muscles are going to be anchored to.
First pass at revising the skeletal structure. I made a few modifications unrelated to the wings. The pelvis is similar to that of a human, though a little wider to accommodate egg-laying. I may end up reworking the pelvis entirely to make it more bird-like, but I'm more interested in making those wings fit at the moment. Chozo have a human femur/patella, and avian lower legs.
Here's a thing I slapped together in 3 minutes in January of last year to illustrate which bones are where for the layman. Onto different matters.
Skeleton, labeled.
Generally, the wings' humerus is attached to the scapulacoracoid, a bone attached to the keel that's sort of Y-shaped. That's how a real bird's shoulders are structured. Humans posses a scapula (shoulderblade), which has two protrusions: the acromion process and the coracoid process. The acromion process is where our humerus joins the shoulder. The coracoid process in humans is not exactly big enough nor ideally shaped to anchor flight muscles to.
At first, I had three ideas:
Invent a new bone attached to the keel that serves the function of the coracoid.
Modify the scapula to fit a new bone that anchors the flight muscles (the scapulacoracoid is analogous to the human scapula, after all).
Forego the keel and invent a bone on the spine that does the same thing.
To start, I added the furcula, a Y-shaped bone on the sternum, flanking the keel. Fun fact: not all birds have a furcula (better known as the "wishbone" in some parts of the world).
Real quick muscular structure layout sans flight muscles.
First pass at the flight muscles. Not the most accurate wing muscles in the world (neglected to depict the muscles near the tip of the wing, for one).
In this model of the musculature, a good deal of the flight muscles around the breast and torso are hidden by the pectoralis major, much like several non-flying human muscles.
Flesh applied over muscle.
Feathers applied over flesh.
That was my first attempt at constructing the Chozo skeleton. You'll notice the wing bone solution is inelegant. See, wings are analogous to arms. Their metacarpals are finger bones. In order to give Chozo both arms and wings, we'll need to deviate from both avian and human skeletal structures to make the pieces fit together.
I can't make the flight muscles stretch comfortably over the clavicle: that has the potential to impede motion in the arms. My first idea in the second round of flight bone shenanigans was to invent a second bone that fit between the spine and the scapula, like shoulder-bound plate tectonics (working name "scapula trellis"). I wasn't wholly confident that I could configure flight muscles in a logical manner even with this setup.
At one point I consulted Raven Beak's model. Note the patches on the back of the torso on the powersuit: that's where the wings emerge in phase 2. It looks like they're anchored to the scapula or an adjacent structure.
Barring the fact that his wings are absolutely ridiculous, I wasn't sure I could work with this. Gorgeous structures, but the feathers don't seem big enough to handle flight.
So I was left to brainstorm, and drafted up a few sketches for a second scapula to anchor the wings' shoulder joints to. I was more confident in this than I was the previous design, but I wanted to fish for ideas from other parts of nature.
Enter dinosaurs. Specifically, the Pteranodon with its shoulder girdle.
The addition of a shoulder girdle as an anchor for the yardarm (the term I'm using for the humerus of the wing, applicable only to creatures that have both wings and arms) seemed like a better solution. Positioning it below the scapula allows me to place the wings a little lower on the back, providing minimal interference between the two sets of limbs.
Whether we're rolling with the shoulder girdle or a second scapula, the intended result is the same: the wings have moved down on the back of the torso (personally, I'm digging the girdle, but the second scapula is on the table if anyone else wants to try their hand at this).
Muscles from the back, illustrated. Note the distance between the deltoid (shoulder muscle) and the wings. The shoulder girdle is situated in the lower-middle of the back of the ribcage.
A few notes: the acromioecstasia exists because the muscle that usually connects between the body and the patagialis longus on real birds is located on the pectoralis major. If I emulated that, we'd have flesh crossing over the deltoid to reach the front of the body, which would obstruct movement of the arms. We don't want that, so I moved that section of the wing to the back. We're compensating by adding additional musculature up front.
Wing muscles from the front. All three pectoral muscles are attached to the keel. The pectoralis medius is an extension of the pectoralis major, running beneath it and several other muscles. The pectoralis minor (also known as the supracoracoideus) lies beneath both the major and the medius. The pectoralis medius and major are responsible for the downstroke, while the supracoracoideus raises the wing between flaps.
Flight is very taxing on the individual. Power suit wearers actually have an easier time flying than non-wearers because the suit passively offsets the metabolic demands of flight with its own Energy.
It's important to note that these sizes are not necessarily "to scale". Chozo wings should actually be much bigger than my canvas permitted me to show. I had to keep increasing the size of the canvas on one of my files to accommodate a reasonable wingspan, but even that's not broad enough! I had to stop expanding the canvas for the sake of my CPU. If any muscles look too dinky or the scale seems off on some bones, that's why: I just needed to swiftly illustrate where things are.
A Chozo's total wingspan should at least be twice the individual's standing height. Any smaller and there's no lift.
I still don't necessarily consider the wings "solved": if any speculative biology enthusiasts want to weigh in further on the subject, feel free!
After laying out the bulk of the skeleton (and before solving the wing problem), I decided to go a little further in my studies. Thus, we have organs.
First, the digestive system.
The esophagus is self-explanatory. Food goes in through the beak, traveling into the body through the esophagus.
The crop is used to store food: this is where digestion begins. Many parents regurgitate mushy, enzymatic food for their children from the crop. Very nutritious and promotes growth.
The proventriculus is the first half of the stomach: protein bonds begin to break down here. Gastric fluid produced here aids the gizzard in mushing things.
The gizzard is where the bulk of food-crushing occurs. Breaks larger matter down through transfer between areas within the organ.
The liver and gallbladder are crucial in digesting fats. Real bird livers have two lobes: the left is smaller than the right. Two bile ducts from the liver connect to the distal duodenum: the right duct is connected to the gallbladder. Chozo only need one.
The duodenum is the start of the small intestine, running in tandem with the pancreas. Pancreatic enzymes created by the latter assist in completing digestion, processing sugars, etc.
Digestion is finished in the other sections of the small intestine, where nutrients are absorbed.
Chozo kidneys largely resemble their human counterparts. Connected to the lower half of the gastrointestinal system. Urate is disposed of through the cloaca, transferred from point A to point B by the thin ureters bridging the kidneys to the large intestine.
Bacterial fermentation in the ceca extracts nutrients from plant material that can't be digested through enzymatic breakdown. The ceca and large intestine also reabsorb moisture, forming the solid portion of indigestible waste. The ceca are larger in tribes that eat more fruit and other plant products. Mawkin ceca are fairly small: they live quite an active lifestyle, and plant matter supplements their all-rounder diet with meat as the foremost staple.
The large intestine is the end of the line. Renal and intestinal waste is ejected here. The end of the reproductive tract forks to the distal segment to facilitate egg laying. Mammals have considerably larger large intestines than Chozo to dry out waste before expulsion.
Next we have the respiratory system. The trachea takes in air and delivers it to the lungs. Unlike mammalian lungs, Chozo lungs are inelastic: they don't expand and contract. The air sacs do all the expanding and contracting: they're connected to the lungs through a network of bronchii.
The high metabolic rate required for flight demands a ton of oxygen, and Chozo respiratory organs are designed to do just that. The mechanics are fascinating but I won't take up too much of your time explaining the finer points. Wikipedia's write-up on the circulatory system of birds is a good place to start if you want to dive deeper.
The short version is thus: air enters through the nostrils, traveling into the bronchi through the trachea and syrinx (the syrinx helps Chozo vocalize). The bronchi deliver air to the lungs. When Chozo inhale, the posterior and anterior sacs expand: the posterior sacs take in fresh air while the anterior sacs fill with air that has already passed through the lungs. Air is constantly circulating through the lungs, and it's a one-way flow.
Parabronchii are microscopic tubes that run perpendicular to the blood capillaries. Parabronchii efficiently diffuse oxygen from the air into the blood.
The next image set deals with a few extraneous vital organs. I'm not going to illustrate the nervous system nor arterial network, just as I neglected to illustrate all the bronchi in the respiratory system. That's a lot of tubes!
The circulatory system is pretty standard, but it pulls largely from Dread. Here's the thing: in the pre-boss fight cutscene for Raven Beak (aptly named 0086_comanderorbital_video_artwork_01.webm in the files), we see him contributing to Samus' biological makeup. His heart is set firmly in the center of his chest.
This is anatomically accurate to real birds! Bird hearts are placed similarly in the center of the chest, flanked by the left and right lobes of the liver (linked image is a labeled black and white illustration of a dissected pigeon, showing most of the major organs).
The brain is exactly what you think it is. No, the most interesting part of this last image set is the harus.
The harus is an accessory to the lymphatic system. You'll notice its proximity to the respiratory system. Lymphatic capillaries accompanying the parabronchi network filter more harmful atmospheric molecules into the harus, which makes use of specialized cells to recycle these molecules in a process that synthesizes ATP. In addition to this, the harus helps maintain the body's proper pH levels in hostile environments. This organ is what allows the Thoha to breathe in Zebes' toxic atmosphere.
Headcanon time: the majority of non-powersuit related genetic alteration done to Samus Aran in her youth is related to this organ: her respiratory system was altered with the proper instructions to produce specialized harus cells on their own without needing to transplant the organ. Samus can breathe on Zebes because her lungs can perform the function of the harus while she breathes.
Full-size pngs for everything are available on Ko-fi and Patreon. The canvas for this project was pretty big because I wanted to be able to capture the scale of the wings somewhat.
ADDENDUM, May 16, 2024: Chozo should have a modified pelvic bone that more closely resembles a synsacrum, not a humanoid ilium: I am a fool and completely forgot to make alterations in that department.
#headcanons#chozo anatomy#chozo#raven beak#metroid#metroid dread#metroid dread spoilers#gotta give props to friend of the blog Ivory who reminded me of ATP synthesis and suggested a second liver of sorts
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'tumblr if you snipe the quality of another post of mine im going to break into your cellar and ruin all of your wine' translation: click for better quality
80's version
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 7#masato arakawa#masumi arakawa#jo sawashiro#snap sketches#almost finished the line art of this during stream but had to run before i could complete it !!!! sad !!!!#anyway. this was supposed to look sillier- or at least jo and arakawa were supposed to look dumbfounded#idfk what happened during sketching for me to change it but this isnt terrible either i dont think. s'alright#ill mourn that alternate version tho... i wanted the vibe of a gag manga if we know what i mean#but again This Is Fine. i also havent drawn in about ten days so i should post SOMETHING to remind people i draw LMAO#maybe if i make an 80's Version of this i can go with that idea... hm....... might fit better too... we'll have to see don't quote me#you CAN throw a brick into my inbox and say you'd like to see that tho. if you want.#anyways im done looking at this i need to be consumed with existential dread again byyyyye
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here's my rendition of that one meme because cold season is finally here
â
version without text under cut
#ah . cold season#and seasonal depression .... season heh#the annual christmas fair is opening soon . so i get to have this weird nostalgia and grief setting into my stomach ...#as december draws near . im reminded of both how excited i am for this period . but also how much i dread it#i don't like christmas . but i love the 25th of december#it makes no sense . right ?#same with the christmas festival#i don't like christmas or the fair itself . but i love the byproduct of its existence#i know what im saying probably makes no sense . but youll see soon hopefully#regardless#my skrunklies#:3#<333#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis shrignold#shrignold the butterfly#dhmis hv shrignold#dhmis brendon#unemployed brendon#dhmis hv brendon#dhmis electracey#electracey the meter#dhmis hv electracey#meme redraw#my partner once said âtony and tracey as so dad and lesbian daughter codedâ#i love that man#đĽšđĽšđĽš
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Instagram version of the recent Necropolis reel [source]
#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#video games#the vase-head guys remind me so much of Bellsprout hhh :)#Despairing Bellsprouts#Haunted Bellsprouts
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