#like this reminds me so much of ahsokas introduction in the clone wars
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Sabine being BARELY force sensitive is honestly amazing. I was going in pre-pissed because I fully expected them to hamfist Sabine being a jedi but they did it so well. She isn't force null bit from what I can tell, she wasn't as sensitive as a jedi would be. In a pre-o66 world, Sabine would NEVER have been trained as a Jedi.
Basically this fact - that Sabine isn't suddenly amazingly force sensitive - has changed this development from a mary sue waiting to happen, to a really really cool direction for her character to go in. It's now the story of someone working through a handicap. I mean how interesting is the idea of Sabine becoming a fully fledged jedi despite her lack of force sensitivity???? How creative will she have to get to get around her lack?
#ahsoka#ahsoka spoilers#sabine wren#when i tell you guys im excited#i went from dreading jedi!sabine to chomping at the bit for it#like this reminds me so much of ahsokas introduction in the clone wars#how she was made deliberately annoying so that her change to amazing was seen as character frowth and made people love her#we were all fooled into thinking it was gonna be a forced gurlboss thing#BUT NO
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Febuwhump Day 11
Prompt: Hallucinations
Warnings: illicit drug and alcohol use
Read on AO3
I Carry On
In her defense, Ahsoka literally just left the Jedi Order. Like, hours before walked down the steps of the Temple, leaving her Master standing there looking as though he had been punched in the gut. She took no pleasure in his disappointment, but she knew she had to leave.
Ahsoka just wasn't sure where to go.
Her whole life has been spent either in that Temple or on a Star Destroyer in the middle of a galactic war. Not exactly the usual upbringing. As she walked through the streets of Coruscant, stripped of her lightsaber and her identity, Ahsoka had the overwhelming desire to buy a blaster.
Apparently, it is difficult to be a seventeen-year-old girl and buy a blaster. Legally, at least.
Which is how she ended up a few levels lower than she has ever been. Which is also how she ended up getting a bargain-- a lightly used blaster with no (traceable) criminal history, as well as a pamphlet for a club opening a few levels up.
A part of her was hesitant. She's been in plenty of cantinas, and she is of the age of responsibility for drinking, but a night club is a different story. But the prospect of spending the night alone with nothing but her old life as a Jedi on her mind seemed like a horrible idea.
As it turns out, a nightclub is an incredible place to escape reality. Lights of every color flash through the darkened multilevel club. A wrap-around bar covers three sides of the first level while the center is a massive dance floor filled with what seems like every species in the galaxy. Ahsoka marvels at the upper stories of additional bar and VIP seating that tower above her, all also filled with people.
It's loud. The music shakes the ground and makes her ears ring. People are constantly shoving into her, and the accompanying scent of sweat and alcohol is strong enough to put down a banta.
Strangely enough, she loves it. The chaos energizes her a well as the feeling of being close to so many people. Though they are strangers to her, she feels comforted by brushing arms with those she passes, or the grins of other young women with rosy cheeks and glossy eyes. When Ahsoka goes into the fresher to relieve herself, she discovers a whole other aspect to club life that quickly becomes her favorite part.
"Oh my gosh, I love your face paint!" a human woman about her age squeals as she comes out of the stall. Ahsoka doesn't have the heart to tell the stumbling girl that her markings aren't painted-- she has a feeling the concept won't stick-- so she smiles instead.
"Oh, uh, thank you!"
The woman grins, pulling at the hem of her short black skirt. "My name is Caly."
"I'm Ahsoka."
To her surprise, Caly embraces her tightly. "Such a pretty name Ahsoka! You're so pretty too. Are you here with people?"
"Uh, not really."
Caly pulls away, looking at her with wide brown eyes. "You're here alone? Damn girl, look at you being an independent gal. Do you want to hang with my friends?"
Ahsoka didn't really expect such warm kindness from the club refresher, but she can feel Caly's genuine feelings in the Force. Light lines her Force presence, and so Ahsoka agrees. Caly guides her through the crowd to a group of other sentients near the corner of the dance floor. Most look to be human, but there are also a few humanoids and a Twi'lek in the group. Their introductions are cut short by the song changing, and another girl Caly called Raan squealing in delight.
"It's our song!" she yells, and as though this is their battle cry they go running onto the dance floor, forming a circle amongst their group. Ahsoka follows, completely starstruck with the entire encounter. From what she can tell, most of the friends are around her age range. Much of the club seems to be young, as far as she can tell, which leads her to believe that if she weren't a Jedi, this is how she'd be spending her free time-- dancing and drinking with friends.
But you're not a Jedi. Not anymore, the less fun part of her brain tells her. Ahsoka decides to shut up that voice by downing the rest of her drink.
Drinking is another thing she isn't accustomed to, but she's had a few brews with the troopers before. She quite likes the warm buzz that the alcohol gives her as it settles in her stomach, and she goes to order another. When Ahsoka returns, "their song" has ended, and they have reunited back in the original spot. Caly smiles when she returns.
"Ahsoka! There you are. We were just about to move upstairs."
"What's upstairs?"
"A place to sit. Watch the fun. Have some fun," she says with a wink. Ahsoka suspects she is supposed to know what that means, but she doesn't. But with two drinks in her system now, she is willing to find out what it is her agemates do on a night out. So she follows them. Ahsoka settles between Caly and Raan in a couched area at the corner of the club. The music is quieter, but the lights still shift colors every few moments.
"What brings you to a club alone, Ahsoka?" Caly asks, taking a little box from the person next to her and taking out a small tablet, and setting it on her tongue.
"I... had a bit of a bad day."
The girl looks at her with sympathy. "I'm so sorry, what happened?" she asks as she passes the small box to Ahsoka. She stares at the colorful tablets inside a moment and then looks back up at Caly. "Do you want one?"
"What is it?"
"Dreamdust!" she pauses. "You don't have to have one, just if you want one. It might help with your bad day."
Ahsoka has heard of dreamdust, actually. A padawan she once knew told her all about his escapades with different drugs and how they felt. He tried dreamdust and said it made him feel amazing, close to the Force. And if it will silence the voice in the back of her head that plagues her with reminders of Anakin and Master Obi-Wan and Rex and the war, then she will accept the chemical fix. She takes a tablet from the box, popping it onto her tongue as Caly had done, and passes it to Raan.
"I got fired," Ahsoka says to Caly, before sighing. "Or, I guess I quit."
She giggles. "How do you get fired and quit?"
"They were going to fire me, and then I quit when they decided not to."
"Well hell yeah, sounds like they didn't appreciate you. I'm sure they'll miss you once you're gone and they know what they lost."
Ahsoka sighs. "I doubt it, but maybe."
Caly wraps an arm around her shoulder. "Getting fired sucks but you'll find somewhere else. Gotta find a place for the next chapter to start anyway."
A voice hollers from the other side of the circle. "Cal, are you getting philosophical again?" The others laugh. Picking up strays from the fresher must be a common occurrence.
"What, you want to receive my wisdom as well?" she grins.
"I get far too much of your wisdom."
"Then why are you still so dumb?"
Another roar of laughter and Ahsoka melts back into the comfortable couch. She can't help the smile that comes to her face watching the group of friends bicker. Though all of this was to get her Jedi life out of her mind, it's only managing to make her heart ache with the idea that she won't ever again get to spectate on one of Anakin and Obi-wan's sass battles. Or sit in the mess with the clone troopers as they try to teach her curses in Mando'a. Or getting to see her crechémates when she goes back to the temple and catching up on all their adventures with a bottle of Jawa juice and a game of sabacc. Suddenly her life is divided into before and after.
She knows she can't take it back and go back to the way things were. She won't let herself give the council that satisfaction.
"Well doing what the council says, yeah, that's one thing," a familiar voice rings out. Ahsoka's body feels heavy and tired, but she looks up slowly. Standing at the end of the table is none other than Anakin. She nearly jumps with surprise, but her body doesn't seem to want to respond. "How we go about doing it, that's another idea."
"Master?" she squints at his distorted figure. His hair is shorter, cheeks rounder, and all of him seems to be transparent to the lights that shine from the dance floor. It's all wrong, but from the way the walls are melting away she has a feeling nothing is as it seems.
"Ahsoka," he frowns. "What in blazes are you doing here?"
It's Anakin's body and lips moving, but her master has never had a core accent. He crosses his arms, jetting out his hip like Master Kenobi does sometimes, but it just looks awkward on Anakin. It makes her giggle until she feels a nudge at her side.
"What are you laughing at, young one?"
Master Plo. Caly is gone and Master Plo now sits next to her. "Master Koon what are you--" She looks to her other side where Raan was just a moment earlier but it's Chancellor Palpatine, staring at her with his dark, beady eyes. Panic fills her to the brim and she moves for Master Koon's comfort, but the space next to her is empty. She looks for Anakin, Obi-Wan, anyone but she is alone with the Chancellor.
"You have been charged with sedition against the Jedi Order and the Republic itself," he says, a menacing smile stretching across his features.
"No," she says, jumping to her feet. Somehow he still seems to be standing higher than her. A platform that continues to rise.
"This court," his words echo off the walls, growing louder with each repeat. "Will decide your fate."
She turns to run, but she slams into a wall, staggering backward as the bitter bite of the whistling winds and heat of the lava pits fight for dominance.
"You have been charged with sedition against the Jedi Order and the Republic itself."
"It's not true! She cries, turning around and around only to realize she is in a cell and not a night club. The impenetrable walls of the Citadel are closing in on her, pulling her into the darkness of their keep. She bangs her fists against the walls as though her strength could really break through solid rock and steel. Finally, she stands back, taking a deep breath, and then putting all her weight into a running start. Her shoulder smashes into the wall, but the rock and durasteel shatter like transperisteel, and she is falling, faster and faster through the open air. Ahsoka closes her eyes, reaching out with the Force to grab onto something--anything-- and her breath is nearly knocked out of her when the Force responds immediately. She's suspended midair, the Force pulsating around her with life and the rest of the world frozen in a moment of time. She walks through the nothingness to the nearest solid ground, only to find herself atop a rocky cliff of a lava planet.
"What about me?" Anakin yells, his eyes shimmering a bright gold as he looms over her. When did she fall over again? How did she get on the floor? And why is he staring at her with such malice? "I believed in you! I stood by you!"
"What are you going to do?" she bellows, realizing his lightsaber is in his hand, and there is dangerous darkness surrounding her master. A darkness she has never felt before, like needles going through her bones. She reaches through the Force, expecting to find their bond, but instead, she feels an eerie nothingness that makes her audibly gasp. Anakin shakes his head, a tear dripping down his cheek.
"What you made me do," he says in a low voice, looking past her and igniting his saber. She has to roll out of the way to avoid his pursuit, expecting the burning light of his weapon to slice her in two. But he doesn't. She opens her eyes and his lightsaber is smashing against the readied weapon of Master Kenobi. They fight furiously, desperately. Not like when they spar, but when they go up against real enemies with real motivations to kill.
"Stop it!" Ahsoka yells, but they pay her no attention. She pulls herself to her feet, tears streaming down her face. "Masters, please! I'm sorry!"
"Stay out of this!"
"Stop it!" she repeasts.
"Be at peace, Ahsoka," Master Obi-Wan's voice feels like it's speaking directly into her mind. Her eyes grow heavy, and the lava around her bubbles and spreads until it explodes into a brilliant geyser of bright yellow and red molten rock. "And sleep."
Before she makes it to her knees, the world turns muddy, and then a dark blue. Lights flash overhead, and it takes her a moment to realize it's the lights of ships and speeders flying through the Corescanti night. She's lying on her back, the faint smell of tobacco reaching her senses, making her cringe.
"Good morning," a soft voice says. Ahsoka sits up, already feeling a horrible headache pulsating in her temples. Caly sits next to her, taking a drag of a death stick. Where they are sitting is a whole other question.
It's a rooftop of some sort, somewhere in the Upper Crest by the looks of it. Caly is no longer in the party attire Ahsoka met her in, but a pair of baggy pants and a tight-fitting long-sleeved shirt. Her short blonde hair is pushed back with a thick piece of cloth tied at the nape of her neck.
"What happened? When did we--"
"Bad trip. You needed air," Caly says, shaking her head. "You should have told me you were a Jedi."
The words hit harder than they should. Ahsoka tries to bite back the urge to cry but she doesn't seem to have any control over her emotions currently. The tears are coming before she can try to hide them. Caly scoots closer to her, rubbing circles on her back.
"I'm not a Jedi," she says between sobbing gasps. "Not anymore."
And they sit there in the cool dawn air, only the sound of speeders and Ahsoka's crying to fill the space. She expects nothing of this girl that she met in the fresher of a club, but yet, the kindness of a stranger seems to be the only thing Ahsoka has to hold onto. Caly, ever the one to continuously surprise her, pulls her into a tight embrace, tucking Ahsoka's head into her shoulder.
"What I told you earlier still applies. This is your next chapter, Ahsoka."
"It started out pretty shitty."
Caly laughs. Squeezes Ahsoka a little tighter. "It was just a bad trip. Jedi-- uh, Force-users, react to dreamdust a little dramatically. You didn't know."
"How do you know so much about Jedi?" she sniffles as she pulls out of the hug. "And how we react to dreamdust?"
"You're not the first to break away from the Temple for a night of fun," she winks. "Usually they are a bit more obvious."
"Baggy robes?"
"Oh, yes, you know the ones."
Ahsoka manages to smile, wiping away the stray tears. "Thank you, Caly. You've been... a great friend when you had no obligation to be."
"Well I did provide you with drugs that made you nearly punch a security guard... so don't thank me before you find out you've been banned indefinitely from that club."
"Probably for the best,"
They laugh. It's comfortable but not familiar. Not the laughs she's used to sharing. After a long time of just staring at the morning traffic begin to pick up, Caly stands.
"I gotta go. But I'm glad you're okay." Ahsoka is far from okay, but she's better than she was before. She smiles, thanking Caly once again. The girl from the nightclub starts to walk off, but then she stops, looking back. "Do you know what you'll do now, Ahsoka?"
The former Jedi smiles solemnly. Over Caly's shoulder, she can see the Jedi Temple in the distance. By some miracle, she doesn't feel the urge to sob just by looking at it. It's a tug at her heartstrings, the same feeling she gets from a sad song or when the troopers talk about their fallen. Dull, painful, but every time she looks or thinks about it she knows the pain will lessen.
"For now, I will carry on."
#febuwhump#febuwhump2021#febuwhumpday11#hallucinations#hallucinogens#drugs#drug use#alcohol#consentual drug use#ahsoka tano#star wars#I carry on#I am creating a pattern of posting these right before midnight my time#whoops
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top 5 pieces of star wars content?
(ask me my top five anything)
oooh this is a REALLY good one i have so much to say. first off that there are a lot of other pieces of content i wish i could have included but this is the final list. it also got a little long so placing it under the cut:
1. siege of mandalore arc, tcw
it’s so good. all of maul’s lines (‘there is no justice, no order except the one that replaces it!’ that’s a movie line right there). the disaster lineage pain is unparalleled. every obi wan and ahsoka interaction makes me wan to cry. and this is the last we see of anakin as anakin in tcw. that last conversation between him and ahsoka before malachor in rebels.
also, my favorite duo is ahsoka and rex and this is the arc that fed my clowning. chaotic siblings. they work together so flawlessly in shattered and victory and death it’s so clear they’ve been fighting together for years and they’re family and ahhsjdjdjsjsh—
plus jesse! i’m so glad we got more of him but also not glad because :(( you know :(( and that last scene with vader and the venator wreckage?? one of the best shots in all of tcw i will fight anyone on this.
2. fives’ s6 chip arc in tcw
(does this arc have an actual name?) honestly i can barely watch this arc (i skipped it the last time i rewatched tcw) because it frustrates me so much but it deserves its spot here, because it’s a perfect and heartbreaking insight into why palpatine won. fives did everything right—he tried to save tup, he found out about the chip and removed his own, he went back to coruscant to try and let people know of it, when that went wrong he went to his captain and general. and he still died.
yes, palpatine was pulling the strings behind it all, but there were so many other factors in the republic and clones and jedi’s demise and this arc pointed them out. how the kaminoans saw the clones as products. how anakin was unwilling to believe the chancellor could do wrong. how the jedi didn’t investigate at all (they had opportunity to look into it and chose not to. even if they couldn’t have prevented the order, they knew of the possibility of chips inside the clones heads that would take away their free will and decided to do nothing.) it points out how the jedi have become beholden to the politics of the republic. and above all it is the tragedy of the clones, dying for a republic that betrays them. but also, fives dies yes, but not for nothing. without him, ahsoka and rex would have died. it’s not all we hoped for but it’s something and it’s because of him.
3. season one finale of the mandalorian
oooh this was almost 2 because i think it is really good but tcw is first in my heart. this could be top five for just that one line “mandalorian isn’t a race, it’s a creed” absolutely incredible i love it. i could go on about it for days. so glad they moved away from what happened in tcw with it being a race and everyone being white. also that scene at the beginning with the scout troopers like ‘gideon just killed another trooper for interrupting him it’s gonna be a while’ why was that so funny. and gideon introduction!! he’s a very interesting villain. and finally, last scene with gideon and the darksaber because it was me and everyone else who watched tcw going bonkers over here.
4. the force awakens (HEAR ME OUT)
a controversial one i know—but for me personally, the setup in this movie was great, even if the rest of the sequels didn’t deliver. i could see the setup for force sensitive finn, rey as a queen who takes down kylo ren, poe as an up and coming leader of the rebellion. force sensitive finn is such a thing for me because i thought it was such a good idea and i was hoping that leia or something would end up training him and he’d use it and try to free other stormtroopers like. wouldn’t that have been so good? and i could see that in the future based on this movie. also the comedy is amazing (‘stay calm stay calm. i’m talking to myself’)
5. malachor in star wars rebels
GAH. absolutely amazing. starting from the beginning, the cool sith rock and how they fell through the ground? i love seeing obscure bits of past history that aren’t really explained and malachor is such a good example of that. all the jedi and sith remains of lightsabers and stuff, like you know there was a huge battle but what for? when? we don’t know. i love that stuff. maul comes back again i love that it’s almost a running joke at this point. he works with the jedi and you’re like oh maybe he’s better, but you get the reminder that he’ll do anything in search for revenge when he blinds kanan. just really good insight into his character.
the way ahsoka cuts part of vader’s helmet and the ‘ahsoka’ that’s half anakin voice and half vader voice is gut-wrenching. and the ‘i won’t leave you, not this time’ says SO MUCH about the guilt ahsoka has been carrying around like. such a well written episode. and when they come off the ship back on the base and rex just knows ahsoka is gone that honestly ripped my heart in two. his expression. you get all of this old pain in a new context (rebels) and it’s done so well.
#star wars#ask tag#zoe tag!#but i had a lot to say and i didn’t even say all of it!!#i might have to write a meta on the chip arc now#also i KNOW I KNOW i didn’t include any of the pt or ot movies because they are good they’re just not what i got into star wars for.
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What’s Missing in The Rise of Skywalker or What I Think Star Wars Needs in Order to Work…
This may be pure conjecture on my side… But there’s one thought that’s not letting me go these days.
We have shredded Episode IX to pieces by now and we all know its plot holes and massive problems with character development, coherence, morality etc.
But I’m realizing that there is something that Star Wars has always had at its center… and I believe that without it, it simply cannot work.
The Father Figure.
Remember, the central sentence (and one of the most iconic film scenes ever) is the infamous “No - I am your father.”
So let’s face the saga from this point of view.
The Phantom Menace is not a masterpiece of filmmaking, but a decent film, with an interesting story and a lot of intriguing characters. It works well as a solid introduction to the prequel trilogy.
At its heart we find Qui-Gon Jinn. Gentle, cunning, compassionate and rebellious, Qui-Gon is the ideal Jedi if there ever was one. To Anakin, the fatherless child, he is the first father figure he knows, the first person who is an advocate for him and pleads his cause; not that his mother wouldn’t, but she was powerless to do so. Qui-Gon also has the broad-shouldered, tall frame that will later become one of Darth Vader’s trademarks.
Attack of the Clones is one of the weakest, if not the weakest Star Wars film of all. And I can’t overlook the fact that there is no father figure at its center.
We get to know Jango Fett, Boba’s father, who is however not a main character: his presence is important for the course of the plot, but not the impact of his personality itself.
We also have an interesting insight in Anakin’s relationship with Obi-Wan. It takes only a few minutes for us to realize that these two are not on the best of terms: Obi-Wan is too immature and inexperienced for the task he has to shoulder, too strict in his adherence to the Jedi Code (possibly due to the other Jedi’s critical eye on them), and Anakin is more powerful than he is despite his youth. As a result, young Obi-Wan does not have much, if any, influence on the events of the story. He may be a good Jedi but as a father figure for young Anakin he is not suited at all.
Revenge of the Sith sees Palpatine taking over the rule as Anakin’s master: it is interesting that before this moment, he used to refer to the Anakin as “Son”, another way of subtly manipulating the young man who was in need of a father figure to look up to.
The film is excellently made and, very fittingly, the unraveling of a human tragedy. Palpatine is the most powerful and also most horrifying father figure imaginable, who offers Anakin enormous power to a terrible price: the loss of everything he ever was.
A New Hope is a very good film in many ways and for a lot of good reasons, not least due to the elderly Obi-Wan (Ben) Kenobi. He is the one who introduces Luke to his powers and explains him - and also us, the audience - the nature of the Force. Without him, we would be dealing with a good but not remarkable science fiction story. The element of magic is introduced by the Jedi who is a mentor to Luke, another young man who longs for a father figure in his life.
To put it mildly, The Empire Strikes Back rocks! I still think of it as the best Star Wars film ever made. It contains everything a film needs to be compelling even on seeing it again and again.
And who is at the core of it all? Darth Vader, the Dark Father, the Evil, Unknown, Malignant Father. Vader is at the height of his power in the film which from his point of view is the hunt for the son he thought dead and now wants to bring at his side at all costs. Vader is terrifyingly powerful throughout the film, he dominates every scene.
Not coincidentally, we see him in his meditation chamber once where he reminds of a king sitting on his throne.
Return of the Jedi is not bad per se but it is commonly (and in my opinion rightly) seen as the weakest of the original trilogy. Yes, I know, the Ewoks are annoying and in Jabba’s palace we already have too many Muppets - it doesn’t work when you want to make your film more child-friendly and at the same time to tell the culmination of a family drama.
But again, what I miss here is a central figure. We see Palpatine holding Vader’s leash, until he is at the last moment defeated by the father desperate to save his son. It is an act that costs him his life and makes Vader and his redemption heart and soul of the story.
But until that moment, we have Palpatine at the center of the plot. Thus, there are two father figures. And I can’t help but noticing that the fact is a little irritating in itself. Similarly to Attack of the Clones, Return of the Jedi seems to waver when it comes to deciding what it is about, what the actual, all-encompassing arc is.
The Force Awakens: Han is thirty years older now and a father figure himself - to a son who felt abandoned by him. Han dominates the key scene: his son is unhinged and conflicted and despite his power, he doesn’t have the events under control.
Han’s decision to give up his life to save his son’s soul is a last, desperate act born from love which parallels Vader’s. Even if at this moment we do not yet realize that he will succeed in the end, we are aware that something momentous has happened on the fatal bridge: an event that was built up for many years and will have enormous repercussions on everyone involved.
Not surprisingly, Han also felt like a father figure for Rey, the other protagonist of the sequels.
The Last Jedi sees an aged Luke Skywalker in the role of the wise old mentor which once was Obi-Wan’s. Though his attitude is not exactly fatherly, Luke is heart and soul of the story. His wisdom, his courage and also the admittance of his failure push the story onto its tragic but heroic ending.
The Rise of Skywalker is disappointing on many levels, but thinking about it again, there is again that certain something that I miss most.
Yes, the Father Figure.
Palpatine is but a creepy old shadow and is not even acknowledged as kin by Rey.
The central and most moving scene is, again, a meeting between Han and his son, finally reconciling.
For good measure
Rogue One is the story of Jyn’s father Galen, his plans for the Rebellion and her daughter living only to fulfill them. Though sad, it is a good and convincing story.
Solo is nice to watch but it does not work as well as Rogue One. My guess is that focuses too much on action and not enough on character development: the film does not make clear enough that Beckett is a father figure for Han, and that it is significant for his personal development to leave him and his mindset behind.
The Clone Wars has Anakin’s relationship with his padawan Ahsoka at the heart. Though from their age difference he is more like a big brother for her, differently to the other Jedi he is protective, respectful and listening with her. Anakin’s attitude proves over and over what a good father he would have been had he had the chance.
The Mandalorian works excellently and it has, again - need I say it? - a father-son relationship at its core. Despite his previous cut-throat demeanor, Dindjarin always makes his little protegee feel safe and lets him develop his powers in his own way and time. In return, the child is his way back to humanness.
This is the most heart-warming and perhaps until now most convincing father-child-relationship we have ever had in the entire Star Wars universe. Is the series so good for its action scenes? I’m not denying that. But that’s not what the story is about: it’s about what makes a good father, even if you are everything but a saint.
And that what is most bitter for me about The Rise of Skywalker.
Ben Solo did not get to be the father figure I was certain was his ultimate fate to be: he was Vader’s opposite in so many details, down to his facial figures. Darth Vader was a most impressive villain but a nightmarish father. Kylo Ren never was half as convincing as a villain, which to me made it logical to assume (also since we get to know Ben Solo as an emphatic, caring person) that he was meant to be a good father and his failure came from trying to be something he wasn’t meant to be in the first place.
Anakin had damned himself with the carnage of the Jedi padawans; and in The Last Jedi the Canto Bight children, one of which is Force-sensitive, had been introduced. By becoming the Good Father his grandfather never had the chance to be Ben would have found redemption and purpose. And Rey, having been abandoned herself, would have been an excellent mother figure. (Apart from that, I don’t doubt that Adam Driver could play the role of the affectionate, protective father hands-down.)
It is still a mystery to me why this obvious route was not taken by the filmmakers. Letting the last of the Skywalker blood die without having him fulfill his destiny was the bleakest route the story could take.
I don’t know what’s in the cards with Rian Johnson’s trilogy. But I haven’t given up hope for the saga to finally give us the happy, united family that I am positive always was meant to be at its core.
Tragedies and cautionary tales are well enough. But I believe that after all of the drama, we ought to be in for some joy and fun at last. 😊
#star wars#ben solo#darth vader#the mandalorian#episode IX#the rise of skywalker#adam driver#skywalker family#rian johnson#anakin skywalker#obi-wan kenobi#palpatine#luke skywalker#han solo#qui-gon jinn#boba fett#jango fett#the last jedi#read more#sw
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another thing i discovered in an old doc, according to the notes it’s also meant to be a @linkeduniverse au but so far it’s just a BOTW/Star Wars crossover
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Link’s lekku are moving to answer before he registered that the girl, despite being a Togruta and having lekku of her own, was unlikely to understand the language. Twi’leks were, after all, really the only race capable of utilizing Lekku and very few took the time to learn it. Even he, being Twi’lek, had only learned it because Leifr was of the opinion that everyone should learn at least a bit of their native culture.
It's an uncommon language to know, so he was pleasantly surprised when the Togruta hummed before letting out an 'ah-ha!’ noise. “Tal Freta? Or is that Freetaa? Sorry,” she said, sheepish, “I’m not really good at judging vowels.”
Freetaa. Link waited for the monotonous voice to finish before typing once more, her eyes following both his hand and the voice to the device on his left wrist. The device wore like a wristband, was dark brown in color save for the grey rectangular that both expanded into a small keyboard and held the speaker the voice came from. My name is Tal Freetaa. It's a common mistake, with the vowels, the trick is to watch the tips.
“Ooh. I'll have to pay more attention then!” The noise and promise had him smiling, even without a single feather on her person she reminded him of Tulin. “I'm Ahsoka - Ahsoka Tano.” She went on, “I didn't know Master Yoda was sending anyone else.”
I don't think even Master Yoda was sure he was sending me. Link hesitated before deciding to keep it simple. Until it happened, we were uncertain if the Healers would clear me for active duty in time for me to join you.
“Healers? How'd you get hurt?” Ahsoka asked, eyes wide and it ached a bit to know she was being sent to war when she was so young.
Call me Link. He offered, seeing no issue with using his name since most thought it was a nickname of some form and never really questioned where exactly it originated. I was - there was an ambush. He decided on, seeing the few clones around them without helmets pull grim faces where Ahsoka stared at him with the same wide eyes. She didn't seem to really understand what everything hinted at, even if she couldn't be unaware of the fact that sometimes Padawans were orphaned and assigned to another Master - it wasn't real to her, not yet.
There was an ambush, someone who was believed trustworthy wasn't. He explained, trying not to go into too many details. It was selfish, perhaps, that he didn't want to be the one to force her to face the reality of war even if it would be better if she were prepared. We - mostly - managed to get out but not without injury.
Not without casualties, he didn't say even if it were more truthful.
“Well,” she fumbled a bit before deciding, “I'm glad you're here - even if it's only for a little while.”
I’m sure we'll get along. He said rather then correct her assumption that his Master was still in the Halls. Would like to practice your Lekku while we wait?
_____________________________________________________________
Ahsoka's introduction garnered some surprise, evidently Knight Skywalker had been unaware he was getting a Padawan, but it wasn't as much as his own did. Because, apparently, Master Kenobi had also been unaware that he'd be getting a Padawan.
Ahsoka, however, was unaware that he was anything more then an escort. “You didn't say you were Master Kenobi's Padawan! I thought you said your Master was in the Halls!”
Link shook his head, very aware of the attention on him, before his lekku moved. :I did not say that. You assumed it.:
“You said that you two didn't get back without injuries! That means the Halls.” She insisted.
:Not two-: His lekku moved before he remembered how rude it was and switched to typing his responses. I said 'we’ as in I and a group of clones, Master Pardalis was never admitted to the Halls.
“So why aren't you with him now that you're on active duty again?” She asked.
Link stared helplessly at her for a beat before turning to the watching Jedi, tchun curling briefly in a silent :help: before he could stop it.
“It won't be long until those droids get around our cannons, we should prepare while we can.” Master Kenobi says, adding when Knight Skywalker starts off with a comment about the lookout post. “You best take her with you, Anakin.”
“You're an orphaned Padawan,” the Jedi continues when the two leave, kind as he is grim.
Yes. Leifr Pardalis stayed behind in order to cover our retreat when our squad was ambushed. Link explains, figuring he owed the man an explanation. He's officially MIA, he'll be declared KIA in another ten-day.
#i actually really like this one#and will probably wind up adding more to this doc#it has a name already 'the brave champion' but i might change it#maybe something like...#where the wild one is#botw#botw link#star wars#star wars: the clone wars#ahsoka tano#Obi-Wan Kenobi#anakin skywalker#Clone Troopers
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i’m procrastinating so time to write a reaction post about the Mandalorian episode The Jedi
- the makeup/montrals were not as bad as I was expecting. that said, i still wasn’t a fan of the orange-ish makeup they had her in, and wished they had let Dawson use her natural skin tone more + natural eye color. I hate the blue contacts especially since whoever designed the characters in Clone Wars preferred blue eyes to almost any other colors. Letting Dawson keep her natural eye color wouldn’t have betrayed the character or design in any way. It happened all the time to Legolas and it was fine.
- yes, i wish they had cast a different Black woman who wasn’t transphobic
- though I didn’t hate Ahsoka’s on screen presence, I think I would prefer her to be only in animated/video games/graphic novels etc in the future. I understand that they were limited in regards to the height of her horns, length of her montrals but those are things that really show and develop Ahsoka as she continues to grows. That said, if they ever get around to doing that Obi Wan series, I wouldn’t say no to Ahsoka showing up in that either because i am, if nothing else, a hypocrite.
- acting wise, I think Dawson did okay, especially when she smiled--I could really feel Ahsoka. It’s so hard with all the time jumps--the last we see Ahsoka is going into the temple after being rescued by Ezra, then she returns like Gandalf the White, then she’s here. Like what happened? How has she changed? I think it would be unreasonable to expect Ahsoka to act in Mandalorian the same way she was in season 7 or even Rebels--but I did get a lot of Rebels vibe from Dawson’s portrayal.
- i LOVE Ahsoka’s new outfit. It is so good. I love how her trousers are very similar to Darth Maul’s in The Phantom Menace. I don’t know if it was on purpose, but I liked it.
- I love her lightsabers and that they basically recreated the badass way she drew her white lightsaber blades on the Inquisitors in Rebels here (where they like share a blade as she’s brining them apart so cool)
- I notice she did not remind people she was not a Jedi. Curious! The sadness undercutting her multiple references to the fallen Jedi order...her round about referral to Anakin. My actual heart.
- I am DYING to know what happened to Ezra. I was not expecting Ahsoka to ask about Thrawn and it sent me reeling back a bit. it’s so funny because someone in the discord is watching Rebels for the first time, and they were going, AHSOKA!? Thrawn!? and that’s literally what I’m doing right now for Mandalorian.
- keeping my finger crossed for Sabine because I’m sorry. If they can bring back THRAWN who just keeps coming back across multiple stories they can bring back Sabine and cast her voice actor to play her.
- I get that this is about Din and a lot of people don’t want to have this be a rebels sequel but i’m just saying. Sabine is Mandalorian. And my god, Din needs some art on his armor. He needs it.
- I’m glad we have a name I won’t remember for Baby Yoda
- the scene where Din goes to the ship and is going to bring him back to Ahsoka...my heart. He loves this little dude so much.
- I’m so excited for him to go to the Jedi temple. I’m wondering if they’ll be introducing a new Jedi character or if they’ll go for the angst factor.
- with the introduction of the dark saber, which was created by a Mandalorian Jedi, there could also be a third possibility (though I’m wondering if the Child itself isn’t more the result of that foreshadowing, especially if they decide to go the foundling path)
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SW anon - So I have tried to watch the whole thing before but I could never really get past the start. I watched ep IV a few years back (and in 2018 I watched it while it playing with a live orchestra which really enhanced the experience) and ofc I’ve known most of what happens bc my mom and brother have been fans of it (and ofc all the references to it in shows and it being everywhere) but the thing about the original trilogy that I found difficult to watch was very much the acting being off
Gov SW anon continued - but I think I’m gonna watch the clone wars show next as I feel like the general universe and people speak to me more than the skywalker and co. story speaks to me. But I’ll probably try and get back to the prequels afterwards (at least just to have seen them) but also bc I’ve been on tumblr for so long and I’ve encountered so much about the new movies with Finn, Poe and rey (I already know I don’t like kylo) that I’m interested to see what comes before that
Seeing Ep IV with a live orchestra sounds fantastic as the music is incredible. <3
I must admit I haven’t gotten properly into the Clone Wars show! I’ve tried, & did jump in to (and enjoy) the finale ~ and certain Mandalorian episodes strongly remind me of the show’s tone ~ but it has yet to hit me right in the place where I care. What I appreciate about it & what it’s brought into the Star Wars universe is still on a more distant level, not visceral.
I most love that The Mandalorian is truly exploring & taking advantage of the wider Star Wars universe beyond Skywalker & co. (but boy do I also love Skywalker & co.) There is an exciting amount of potential in the newly-announced projects too I love characters outside of a universe’s main chosen-one story. In 6th grade, I was obsessed with the X-Wing book series, which were definitely really marketed toward adult guys but whoops, I had found the deep Star Wars section of the library! And the first line of that series, introducing the main character, is “You’re good, but you’re no Luke Skywalker.” And in a way, that’s the Mandalorian too, to the audience if not himself ~ good, but no Luke Skywalker. Not a Jedi, not meant to bring balance to the Force, a sidestory in the main universe’s struggle. I (from what I’ve seen/know of) get the impression that’s how Ahsoka sees herself ~ ‘you’re good, but you’re no Anakin Skywalker’.
Of course, for that contrast to work, first you need a Luke Skywalker.
it’s interesting you mention OT acting feeling off as I would use that exact word to describe how I feel about the acting in some episodes of The Mandalorian. In some I love it! Other times... I hesitate to say ‘like a video game’ as I mean no insult to the well-developed video game characters out there but yeah, it hits me like the actor’s aware they’re essentially in a live-action video game cut scene.
But. I truly love the acting in the original trilogy! ...but also as I type this I’m watching a movie from 1944 and acting style certainly varies by decade, & mileage varies as to personal taste... but also I will never be objective about Star Wars which I have loved since I was six... but also I studied film history in college and firmly believe Star Wars, the original trilogy is just objectively good if not quite everybody’s cup of tea (...okay maybe Return of the Jedi is not quite as objectively good, but I still love it so much and given the work it had to do wrapping up the original trilogy, hey, it did its job successfully and with Ewoks).
I love the twinkling, wry humor & also gravitas of Alec Guinness. There’s that sense of amusement as he talks to Han, as he waves off the storm troopers, and even in the “let go, Luke”... but always the right weight in the right moments imho
Luke & Han particularly can both be petulant in different ways, & they’re all quippy & brash & even cavalier at times in what in context ~ especially when you rewatch A New Hope right after Rogue One ~ in Very Serious Situations! and I love them for it.
Carrie Fisher’s accent does shift in the one scene (which I have never minded and definitely went around as a kid trying to say ‘Governor Tarkin’ exactly the way she does), and young Mark Hamill’s Luke can be Dramatic & the Most Petulant but understandably (& prettily) so, and... yeah I probably could muster a criticism for Harrison Ford but also I *can’t*! There are some ridiculous Han Solo moments in Return of the Jedi especially, but also I love him/them/just about every choice these movies made. They just hit on magic.
The magic’s there for me from the music swelling as Luke looks yearningly into the twin suns (the cinematography!), but where it really hits is the up-and-running chemistry between all three of the main actors starting the “Luke, we’re gonna have company” scene, and then, boom, it’s the garbage chute, it’s the you’re-braver-than-I-thought/he-certainly-has-courage, for-luck, here-they-come of it all and the movie is flying.
...and I will never forgive the sequels for, avoiding spoilers as it sounds like you’re familiar but haven’t seen them, not giving us any true interaction scenes between Rey & Finn & Poe all together until the 3rd movie. While I still so appreciated finally getting that & what we got, for me it was just not just too little but too late. I love the casting & acting for all 3 of those characters, but while fandom’s taken and run with the combination, and they had plenty of chemistry... it should have been up-and-running so much sooner.
And the prequels just... well, even seeing them in theaters at a susceptible age, the Lord of the Rings movies were coming out at the same time and that did them no favors in comparison. As someone who judges movies above all on dialogue, that... also did them no favors. (Beyond the OT I may have a Nontraditional ranking of Star Wars movies).
The short version of my prequels & sequels take is that both missed that cinematic magic for me, outside of certain scenes, though I still enjoy them as part of The Whole Thing That Is Star Wars Which I Love. Rogue One had that magic; I know and see the criticism of the early editing & introduction-of-Jyn’s-background-and-Krennic-and-Galen scene, but, to me, that movie is perfect. Solo was solid - maybe not magic, but reliably enjoyable, and I’ve been meaning to rewatch. The prequels & sequels... the lows are very low and the highs are very high, in terms of how they hit me.
I feel like I’d probably sum them up as Prequels: Good Star Wars, Bad Movies, and Sequels: Good Movies, Bad Star Wars, which may seem a little harsh or too kind on one side or another but gets at my take at the worldbuilding vs. just the cinema of it all. The bread scene in Force Awakens, the salt planet in Last Jedi, the dyad-duel-in-dual-locations in Rise of Skywalker? Gorgeous. Individual scenes’ acting & dialogue is sound for me. And yet. All three sequels’ choices in respect to the entire Star Wars universe and existing characters AND its new characters? ...Tonally inconsistent with each other *and* ultimately with the themes of the OT. Whereas the prequels did so much worldbuilding, and its politics, and I’ll see gifs and think ‘yes actually, is it better than I remember?’... and then I’ll catch one on TV & it’s the Padme & Anakin romance or even Anakin & Obi-Wan’s buddy scene dialogue at the beginning of Rise of Skywalker and the answer will come, clearly: “noooooooooooooooo.”
(...this got long. Which I tend to do when I care, about fiction in any form, and with the prequels/sequels: the ingredients were there to be magic. And just-misses are more frustrating than swing-and-misses. A la, you won’t find me complaining about the Star Wars Holiday Special!)
(...OK so I haven’t seen all of the Star Wars Holiday Special, and I’m sort of aiming to watch it through this holiday season, since what other year than 2020 seems more appropriate? So I won’t promise not to complain about the Holiday Special but I mostly expect to laugh at it.)
(That said I found the Lego Star Wars Holiday Special an absolute, surprising, laugh-out-loud delight; 9/10 would recommend & yes, 1 point deduction as I will nitpick character consistency even when they are Legos.)
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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 1
<- Introduction
Table of Contents - >
(After the Clone Wars S5:E5, The Onderon arc)
"Ahsoka, let me in!" Anakin pounded on her door.
"Go away, Master! I want to be alone right now," she called with a sniff from inside. He didn't say anything for a moment. Most people would have left, but she could still feel him outside there.
"I can cut through this door if I have to," he said quieter and she frantically wiped her eyes on the bottom of her tunic. When Anakin got like this, there was no telling whether he'd go through with it or not. She stuffed all the tissues under her blanket and opened the door.
"Would you seriously do that?" she blinked up at him standing in the bright light of the hallway.
"No not seriously," he brushed past her into the room. "But it got you to open the door, didn't it?" He grinned at her, but she couldn't return it. She rolled her eyes and went back to laying on her bed with her back to him, ignoring the uncomfortable tissue lumps beneath her. "Come on, Snips. Talk to me."
"There's nothing to talk about." She wished he'd take a hint and go away. He turned on a lightsaber and she looked over her shoulder curiously. He held one of hers, fiddling with it absentmindedly. She shook her head disapprovingly and tried to ignore him. He was always fidgeting with something.
"I know your mission was rough, Snips, but we'll get through it. We always do." She squeezed her eyes shut and didn’t respond. He didn’t know the half of it. “Hey,” he shook her on the shoulder. "I hate seeing you like this."
She glared at him and he stepped backwards. "Well then, leave." She picked up the blanket revealing all the hidden tissues and yanked it over her head, curling into a ball. He didn't leave. She hadn't expected he would. She couldn't hold the tears in anymore and she started sobbing, frustrated that he was seeing her like this.
The bed moved next to her and he pulled her close to where he sat without pulling the blanket off her. She peeked out through the hole and saw him carefully pick up a tissue and throw it off the bed. She laughed before she could stop herself and slapped her hands over her mouth embarrassed because it had sounded like a dying womprat.
He lifted the edge of the blanket and peered in at her, "Mind if I join you under here?" His eyes sparkled as they reflected the soft light that was coming through the window. She shrugged and he wiggled his way under so just his head was inside. There wasn’t much blanket to spare for him to get under, so he looked funny with just his head inside. "Cozy," he commented as though admiring someone's home. She frowned at him so she didn't laugh again.
He knitted his brows in concern, "When was the last time you ate?"
"I'm not hungry."
"Okay, well come not be hungry with me in the cafeteria."
"No."
"Do you want to do some training?" he persisted.
"No."
"Go for a walk?"
"No."
"Well, what do you want to do?" he sighed.
"I'm doing it." She squeezed her eyes shut and shifted so her back was against his knees, which ripped the blanket off his head. He reached around her waist and pulled her closer to him.
"I know what it's like to have your heartbroken," he said softly. "Jedi aren't supposed to form attachments, but we do and they hurt. And sometimes, they never stop hurting." She pulled the blanket off and looked up at him. His hair was tussled and fell wildly around his face. Sometimes it was easy to forget he was her master. Sometimes he was her best friend. It wasn't appropriate, of course. The masters believed it was disrespectful of authority, but what they didn't know was that she did respect him. Not because he was her master or a higher rank, but because he cared. Not many of the others really did; at least it didn’t seem that way.
"I know I couldn’t have a relationship with Lux, but was it wrong to like him? To want to?"
"Of course not, Ahsoka. Wanting relationships is natural. You should never deny your feelings. They're part of you, even if Jedi don’t allow attachments. To deny them is to deny yourself."
"But what is wrong with me? Why wasn't I good enough for him? I thought we had potential, but then he fell in love with her!"
He brought his hand up and ran it down her lekku, making her shiver a little. She knew it was supposed to be comforting, but it felt too intimate. She pulled away, putting some distance between them. He dropped his hand to the bed. "There's nothing wrong with you, Snips," he said gently. "You're brilliant, beautiful and fearless. And if he can't see that, he's the one that's broken."
She blushed at his compliment. Why did he make her feel like this? She knew she couldn't have him, that's why she'd turned her attention to Lux. But seeing the hint of hunger in his eyes when he looked at her made her nervous. As if sensing her sudden need to slow things down he stood up. "Hey, I know just the thing to cheer you up. I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere." She shrugged in response and he disappeared out the door leaving her questioning everything.
Was she upset over Lux? Or was it something more?
Anakin was gone for over an hour. The sun had set. She'd cleaned up all the tissues and had paced the room for awhile. She rubbed her hands together hating that he could make her feel better and make her feel worse at the same time.
The truth was, even with her crush on Lux, Anakin was who she really wanted. He was annoying a lot of the time. Stubborn, infuriating and a bit too cocky. But she'd adored him from day one. At first it had been a kind of hero worship. Then he'd become more like a brother, at least she assumed that was what having a brother was like. But then she'd started noticing different feelings for him. She wanted him to touch her, getting tingly whenever he did and no matter how many times she told herself it was wrong, she still fantasized about it.
Lux had been intriguing; a kind of taboo since he had been affiliated with the enemy. She'd jumped at the chance to pretend to be his girlfriend when they’d faced Death Watch. But when he'd kissed her, she hadn't felt any of the things she'd expected to. She'd assumed that was just the way it was and developed a bit of an obsession with him. Thinking about him romantically had to be better than thinking about her master that way, right? But then when they met again on Onderon, her heart started warring. She’d been jealous of Lux's attention to Stella. But Anakin had been really soft during that time; noticing her feelings and asking her constantly if she was losing focus. She’d adamantly denied it, but every time he’d touched her, she’d jumped a mile. His touch was like an electric shock; a buzz of excitement. And it was getting harder and harder to ignore it. Her obsession with Lux no longer distracted her enough and maybe that was because he’d no longer been interested in her.
To add to the emotional mess, she hadn’t been able to save Stella. Having to remind herself constantly that there was nothing more she could have done. She even had a hole in her shoulder to prove it. But for days after that, she had nightmares that she’d purposely dropped her. That Lux accused her of dropping her. They were getting so bad that when she'd wake up, she wasn't sure she hadn't done it on purpose. Could she ever want someone so badly she'd put her feelings over someone's life?
She shivered uncontrollably and sat back against the wall at the head of her bed, bringing her knees up to her chin and rocking back and forth. When Anakin had first knocked, she had wanted to be alone. Now she couldn't wait for him to come back because she was scared of her own thoughts.
He slid in awhile later shifting suspiciously. "Why are you wearing your robe?" she asked him. She'd thought he was just going to get something in another part of the temple, but this might explain what took him so long.
"Hmm?" He tried to look up at her but the hood covered his eyes. He waved his hand in front of the door mechanism, locking it behind him.
"Why are you wearing your robe?" she repeated louder this time.
"Oh," he threw his hood back. It must have been raining outside because he was damp. He yanked apart his robe as though he was about to sell contraband to an unsuspecting person on the street. He had a satchel over his shoulder with two bottles sticking out of it and in one hand was two cups. "So I could smuggle this into the temple."
"Alcohol?" She widened her eyes.
"Shhh! You’ll get us both in trouble. This isn’t just any alcohol, it’s nectar from the finest farms on Naboo." He sounded so proud of himself.
She hiked her brow in disbelief, "Is that what took you so long? You went all the way to Naboo?"
"Did you miss me?" He smirked at her. Yes actually... But she didn’t want to admit that.
"Are you sure drinking is the best idea?" She changed the subject.
"Tonight, we're going to drown our sorrows, laugh and have fun, and then tomorrow we're going to get up, brush ourselves off and move on. Deal?" He finally took off his giant robe, throwing it over the seat where her belt was hanging and kicked off his boots.
She wasn't so sure about this. The masters warned that alcohol inhibited their ability to connect with the force while it was in their system. But, she had to admit, forgetting the pain sounded pretty good right now.
He poured some into both glasses and handed her one, then he climbed onto the bed a few feet away. She looked at the drink doubtfully. "Go ahead, Snips. No one is watching." She looked up at him curiously. He didn’t count? He was supposed to be the adult in the room. But he was sitting on her bed casually, as though they did this all the time. His hair was ruffled and still dripping from the rain. He'd removed his gloves and sat back. He didn't look like her master right now. He looked like just another kid that needed to forget some pain. His face was drawn, he had bags under his eyes; he looked really tired. Had he been worrying about her?
She wished he wasn't so attractive, and she wasn't sure she was comfortable with him sitting on her bed half dressed. But maybe he was right, they needed to unwind so they could move on. She took a sip and made a face. He laughed in response and took his own drink. "Don't worry, it's an acquired taste. Keep going and you won't care."
She wrinkled her nose but took another sip. Taste aside, it did feel warm and smooth in her throat. She kept going, relaxing as the buzz kicked in. He was right, it didn't taste so bad anymore. He finished his own glass and refilled both. "Let's play a game. It's called secrets and lies. We take turns telling each other three things and the other person guesses which one is the secret. If you guess mine right, I take a drink. If I guess yours right, you take a drink. Two lies and a secret truth. Ready?" She nodded feeling fuzzy. "Okay, I'll start. I fell into a sarlacc pit when I was a kid, I beat the holochess champion and I kissed a queen."
She squinted at him, mulling it over. He could be clumsy occasionally, so the first one seemed the least outrageous, but then again... she didn't know anything about sarlaccs. He was good at holochess, but could he beat the champion of it? He beat the pants off her all the time, but that wasn't much of a challenge. And the queen... well, he had been pretty cozy with the Zygerrian queen... would he kiss her just to complete a mission? She shuddered in disgust.
"Sarlacc pit." He smirked at her, his eyes mischievous.
"Wrong! You drink!" he laughed. But to make her feel better, he drank too.
"You didn't kiss the sarlacc did you?" She giggled, enjoying the high that was setting in.
"Eww no!" He made a face and she giggled harder.
"Then which one was it?" She finished her drink.
"I kissed a queen!" he whispered conspiratorially. She screwed up her face as she pictured it.
"Was it fuzzy?" He looked at her confused and then burst out laughing.
"Maybe a little." His eyes twinkled. She glanced at his lips, wanting to kiss them all of a sudden. Maybe alcohol hadn’t been the best idea with how she was feeling right now. He filled their glasses again, "Okay your turn." She started as she realized where her imagination had been going.
"Um..." she was having trouble forming coherent thoughts. She closed her eyes so he wasn't so distracting. "I beheaded four Death Watch Mandalorians in one move, uh..." This was harder than she thought this would be. "I had the clones give me a tattoo and I have a crush on master Kenobi," she finished quickly and looked away.
"Well that's easy, you have a crush on master Kenobi. Doesn't everyone?"
She giggled hysterically, "You're wrong!"
"No way!" He reached out to tickle her. She laughed so hard she started wheezing. "Where is your tattoo? Show me!" She rolled over crying and laughing as he tickled her mercilessly.
"I don't have a tattoo!" she gasped trying to catch her breath.
"Are you serious? You beheaded four Mandalorians? Give me a high five, Snips! Damn!" She sat up so she could high five him. "I'm impressed! For that, I'll drink the rest of my glass!" He knocked it back and her eyes widened in surprise. Then he filled it again, "So you really don't have a crush on Master Kenobi?" he slurred. She giggled at the way he sounded.
"No, but I do have a crush on someone else." Would he remember this if she told him the truth? Maybe she'd better let him drink more. He listed off the other council members while drinking another glass of the nectar. And when she'd said no to all of them, he persisted down the line of anybody he could think of. He tipped his head back rubbing his head as he had trouble thinking of anyone else. She was surprised he never mentioned himself. She sat back against the wall next to him and he leaned down on her shoulder.
"I give up. Let's play truth or dare."
"Dare," she breathed, feeling warm with him so close. Maybe it was from the alcohol. Would he give her the opportunity she desperately wanted?
He tipped his head and looked up at her face, "Do you know how pretty you are?" She blushed furiously and bit her lip. "I mean, Stella was okay, but Lux.... he's kriffing blind. Next time we see that slimo, I'm going to tell him that." Had he forgotten about the game so quickly? He looked like he was going to fall asleep. She was surprisingly disappointed. But then he sat up suddenly and looked at her intensely. "You said dare, right?" She nodded, eyes widening as she noticed the depth in his eyes. "I dare you to kiss me," he pointed to his cheek.
She should stop now, she really should. But he was so irresistible, and she was tired of pretending she didn’t want him. Besides, she was dying to know if it was everything she imagined it could be. She wanted to know the truth. Would it feel different with Anakin? She might not get another opportunity to find out.
She sat up, turning around to face him. She crawled up to him and he put his knees down so she could climb onto his lap. He didn't tell her to stop, he just looked at her with longing. She put one hand on his shoulder, the other on his face, sitting back onto his thighs. He brought his hands to her waist, and it made her feel tingly. She leaned in and his eyes flitted to her lips. She kissed him softly on the cheek to meet the dare, but when she saw the need in his eyes she came back to meet his lips. It was just a brush at first, but then he parted, and she kissed him harder.
He responded by biting her lower lip. "I thought you wanted a kiss, not a bite?" she murmured but smiled at his touch, loving the way he felt against her.
"I want it all," his voice was husky and low, making her whole body beg to be touched too. He pulled her towards him and this time it felt like their hearts collided as they teased, touched, and tasted everything. She savored every new sensation, lost in the wonder and experience. Either Lux had been a terrible kisser, or they just didn't have chemistry. As they continued, getting more and more needy, she stopped caring about Lux completely.
---
He started snoring softly with his arm across her stomach, and she stared blissfully at the ceiling. Every belief, doctrine and code she'd sworn oaths to since she was three years old told her what they'd done was wrong. It wasn't that a Jedi had to be celibate, or even that you couldn't do it with another Jedi. But with your master? Even if they're only a few years older than you? Not the best idea ever…
She ran her fingers through his long hair that was splayed across her skin. She still felt fuzzy and warm both from the nectar and his embrace. Right or wrong, she didn't care tonight. She loved him. And maybe she wasn’t exactly sure what love was, but she didn’t know what else to call it. It was like her heart didn’t even belong to her anymore. He would always have it. She wanted to enjoy every second of tonight because tomorrow would bring them back to reality. He'd been her ultimate fantasy; everything she'd dreamed of and so much more. Though one fear nagged at her from the recesses of her brain; would he wake up in the morning, sober, and regret it? Would he say that what they'd done was wrong or that it meant nothing? Because even if she knew they had no conventional future or couldn’t have a long-term relationship, the words would leave more holes than the blaster wound.
She kissed him on the top of the head, her lids feeling heavy. He'd definitely helped her forget about wanting Lux, but now she wondered if she'd ever forget about him. She'd never slept with him before, but they'd often slept in the same room or the same tent. It was surprising to feel him so calm tonight; his energy less pained. Well, even if he didn't or wouldn't admit it, tonight had been good for him too. And on that happy thought, she drifted off too.
Next Chapter - >
#star wars#Star Wars Fic#anakin skywalker#ahsoka tano#anakin and ahsoka#anakin x ahsoka#anakin#ahsoka#snips and skyguy#snips#skyguy#legacy of light#rey theory#fan fiction#fanfic#anisoka#lux bonteri#lux#stella#onderan arc#onderan
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The Chosen One’s Apprentice
So, a while ago I reblogged this post about a “what if Caleb and Ahsoka were friends during the Clone Wars” and I really wanted to write a fic about it. I started it a while ago, but I finished it tonight! Originally I had planned on writing a epilogue of sorts of them meeting again in Rebels, but the end I had here just seemed to work so well I decided against it...but who knows, maybe I’ll still write that one day? (Also, I listened to “It’s Gonna Be Okay” on repeat while writing this...I love that song...thank you Piano Guys! <333)
Anyways, I hope y’all like this fic, it was really fun to write! (I really hope I wrote Caleb, Ahsoka, Fives, and Echo justice...*flops*) And this is my first Clone Wars fic! Wohoo! (Rebels is just really fun to write for...I’m sorry Clone Wars, I love you too!)
Fic below the cut because it’s over 2,000 words....
“A mission? With padawan Tano?!?” Caleb said, his eyes widening in shock. He had only seen the older padawan a few times, but her reputation was well known all over the temple. She was the padawan of Anakin Skywalker, the chosen one, and he was going to on a mission with her!
“Yes, it’s a simple mission, but don’t let your guard down. Even the simplest of missions can go wrong,” Master Billaba said, resting her hand on Caleb’s shoulder in an attempt to get him to focus.
Caleb straightened up, trying to quell the nervous excitement that was building up in his chest. “Yes Master. What’s the mission?”
“Padawan Tano will fill you in.,” Depa said, then gripped his shoulder tighter, highlighting on the importance of what she was about to say. “And remember, she’s had more experience than you but she is still learning too. You will both need to work together, don’t discredit your ideas just because she is older.”
Swallowing, Caleb nodded.
Depa smiled at him encouragingly, then lead him towards the docking bay. The whole way there, Caleb fought hard to keep his nerves in check, but as soon as he saw not only Padawan Tano, but Master Skywalker as well, anxiety overwhelmed him and he froze. Only Depa’s gentle squeeze on his shoulder gave him the courage to start walking again.
“Master Billaba,” Master Skywalker said, dipping his head respectively. “This must be your padawan. Hope he can keep up with Ahsoka.”
Caleb stared at Skywalker, he wanted to say something, defend himself that he could definitely keep up, but his mouth didn’t want to work. Thankfully, Depa saved him from any embarrassment.
“I can assure you, Caleb is quite capable,” Depa said, then looked at Ahsoka. “Though I will warn you, he may ask a lot of questions.”
“I thought asking questions was good?” Caleb asked, his shock wearing off a little as curiosity took over, as it always did.
“It is Caleb, I was just warning Ahsoka that you might make her think more, that’s all.”
“I’m sure Ahsoka is up to the challenge, aren’t you Snips,” Skywalker said.
Ahsoka rolled her eyes, at what Caleb could only assume was a nickname. “I’m always up for a challenge, Skyguy.”
Caleb unconsciously fiddled with his braid as they spoke, the fact that he was a challenge worried him. He just wanted to know things, did that mean he was a challenge to his master too? She didn’t seem to mind his questions, but sometimes the other Jedi seemed a little irked by it.
“Now that the introductions are complete, you two should probably get going,” Skywalker said.
The knot that had formed in Caleb’s chest earlier, tightened. It was time to go. His first mission without his Master. He looked at Ahsoka and noted how relaxed she looked. He wished he could feel the same. With all of the nerves he was feeling, he doubted he would perform well at all.
“On it. Come on Caleb, I’ll introduce you to the crew,” Ahsoka said, smiling at Caleb and waving him along.
Taking a breath, Caleb forced himself to follow, though he looked back once at his Master – who nodded and mouthed the words ‘You will be fine.’ Taking comfort from her confidence in him, Caleb walked up the ramp into the Jedi ship they had been assigned.
“Caleb, this is Fives and Echo,” Ahsoka said when Caleb had reached the cockpit. “Rex was going to come too, but Anakin needed him for a different mission.”
“Welcome aboard kid,” Fives said, smiling at Caleb.
“I’m not a kid!” Caleb said, only to be engulfed by embarrassment as both the clones and Ahsoka laughed lightly.
“Sorry about that, you’re just younger than our normal crew,” Fives said before turning towards Ahoska. “General Skywalker filled me and Echo on the mission, it’s sounds like a pretty simple one.”
“You know they are never as simple as they sound,” Echo said then shrugged. “But who knows, maybe this mission will surprise us all and go smoothly.”
“Echo, why did you have to jinx us saying things might go smoothly!”
Caleb could barely hear Fives over the sound of the stampede. The mission had started out okay. It was a simple relief mission to a war-torn planet – one Caleb had never heard of before. But upon arriving at the city with the supplies, they were met by locals saying their city was constantly under attack by some kind of creatures. The creatures had never bothered them before, but with the destruction of food and plants from the war they had been driven to the cities for food, not that there was much food for them to find. Ahsoka had immediately offered to help, after all, it was just a few creatures, right?
Wrong. There had to be dozens of the strange creatures. And with their large bodies, small heads, and sharp teeth they proved to be much more difficult to handle than any of them had thought. Far too much for four people to deal with, even if two of them where Jedi. They had followed one of the creatures to its home, hoping to get a read on the situation. What they hadn’t been expecting was that their mere presence had ensued a panic.
“Fives, now isn’t the time to go putting the blame on anyone, we need to figure out a plan. These things are headed right towards the city!” Ahsoka yelled, glancing down at the animals from their refuge – the ledge of a cliff.
“Do you think we can redirect them somehow?” Caleb asked, narrowing his eyes to protect them from the dust that the creatures were kicking up.
Echo lifted up his binoculars and pointed to a spot on a cliff quite a way off. “Think we can knock that down to stop them?”
“We can try, but the trouble is going to be getting there before these things do, they already have a head start on us,” Ahsoka said, a frown was settled on her face as she thought.
“Fives, Echo, can you two make it to that ledge over there? It has a clear shot of the rock, then me and Caleb can make sure it falls in the right spot.”
“You go it Commander,” Fives said, and both him and Echo saluted her before making their way to the designated spot.
“Are you sure this is going to work?” Caleb asked, not wanting to doubt Ahsoka, but also unable to quench the doubt growing in his stomach.
“Only one way to find out, come on!” Ahsoka said, not giving Caleb time to reply as she Force jumped up the cliff and started running.
Caleb hurried to follow, all of his attention was now focused on keeping up. Even with the Force on his side, he found it hard to keep pace with the older padawan. She made it look easy. No wonder Skywalker had picked her to be his apprentice, she definitely seemed up to any task. And I am too! Caleb reminded himself. He had been through some hard battles already, he could deal with this!
“Get ready!” Ahsoka called out right before she jumped down into the canyon.
Caleb slowed down for a moment and looked down into the canyon. Somehow they had surpassed the creatures, but they were quickly nearing the overhanging rock. Taking a few deep breaths, Caleb focused on the Force around him and then jumped. He misjudged the height of the cliff however and as he ground neared, fear overtook him. All reasonable thought escaped his mind and his focus slipped. There was no way he was going to land without breaking a bone or two. But at the last second his descent seemed to slow.
“I got you!” Ahsoka said, her eyes narrowed in concentration as his feet touched the ground lightly.
Embarrassment washed over Caleb, and he mumbled a thanks, only to be jolted back to the reality of the situation as the roar of the stampede grew closer.
“Fives, Echo, light it up!” Ahsoka yelled into her comm link before looking at Caleb. “You ready?”
Sucking in a deep breath, Caleb tried to calm his nerves and nodded. He had messed up, he had lost his concentration when jumping. He had forgotten his training, but not this time. This time he would make Master Billaba proud.
Blaster fire sounded from above and the overhanging rock started creaking and sliding. All the while the creatures were getting closer…almost too close. No! Caleb told himself quickly as he felt fear creeping up on him. He could do this. Closing his eyes, he focused on the Force around him and the rock. He heard Ahsoka’s voice, but he couldn’t make out the words, so he just stayed focused on the task at hand. But when she yelled even louder, Caleb could make out the words, and his eyes shot open.
“The rock isn’t big enough!”
A quick look at the rock confirmed that there was still a large enough opening in between the fallen rock and the cliff side for the creatures to run through. And speaking of the creatures, they were almost on top of them! Without thinking, Caleb jumped into the opening and closed his eyes, remembering one of his more recent lessons.
“What are you doing?!?” Ahsoka yelled.
“Trying to connect with them!” Caleb called back, losing focus for a moment only to close his eyes again and focus. A sense of calm washed over him. He didn’t think about how the creatures could crush him, how he was immense danger. Master Billaba’s words washed over him. To connect with them he needed to be calm, to feel their presence and focus on them. Their fear slammed into him, but he quickly pushed his calm towards them. It helped a little, but he could feel the ground shaking, it wasn’t working well enough. He focused all he could on trying to connect with them, to understand them and assure them that it was okay.
It was then that he felt another force, another sense of calm and connecting. Ahsoka. Caleb knew it was his fellow padawan without even looking. He hadn’t spent much time with her yet, but her presence in the Force was familiar and strong. It gave him confidence. They could do this. Putting his full attention back on the creatures, Caleb slowly felt their fear lessening, and as it did, the shaking around him eased. Only when he opened his eyes did he see that the creatures were all around him. They had run past him and Ahsoka, but now they were quietly trotting around the canyon.
“Did we really just…do that?” Caleb asked in astonishment as one of the creatures brushed again Caleb and looked at him for a second before shaking its head and walking away.
Ahsoka let out a breath and looked around. “Yeah, I guess we did. But next time you plan on running into the middle of a stampede give me a heads up. I thought you were a goner!”
Caleb rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry about that, I just…had an idea and there wasn’t really time to explain it.”
“Well, it was a good idea. I don’t know if I would’ve thought of it.” A smirk grew on Ahsoka’s face. “I guess Anakin was right.”
The words took Caleb by surprise and he took a step back. “What? Right about what?”
Ahsoka chuckled a. “He thought I might learn a thing or two working with you, and I did. I’ve never been very good with animals, and I’ve only learned a little from Master Kenobi. But seeing you connecting with them helped me understand it better.” Her smile turned a little teasing as she added. “Plus, I knew if you got hurt I’d probably be in big trouble, so that might have helped me concentrate too.”
A slight chuckle escaped Caleb’s mouth, and it was at that moment that he realized maybe Ahsoka wasn’t as daunting a person as he first thought. Yes, she was still more skilled than him, and she had the chosen one as her master, but she was still learning, just like him.
#caleb dume#ahsoka tano#tcw#the clone wars#clone wars#depa billaba#anakin skywalker#fives#echo#star wars#kanan jarrus#the last padawan#anakin#ahsoka#kanan#star wars au#au#my fics#my writing#fanfiction#fanfic#star wars fanfic#star wars fanfiction
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