#you don't get it guys shes so stupid /pos

[selfshipdorito]

alright then, now that I have officially summoned na.oi to my mind again, I need to put her in a shaker and shake it aggressively /pos

[thesullenfawn]

streamer!ellie hcs

(my first time writing so...🫣)

warnings: none, fem!reader

lowercase intended, pictures are from pinterest and they're not mine

credits to @/cafekitsune on tumblr for the divider

masterlist

♡ plays roblox sometimes and BEEFS with literal seven year olds on voice chat because they called her a noob.

♡ "there is no WAY you're calling me a noob when you have an invisible face you GOOFBALL ."

♡ both of yous live in a one bedroom apartment because yous live in a big city and rent and college is expensive.

♡ so sometimes you can be seen doing homework or studying on your bed or another desk in the background.

♡ "guys y/n is doing homework right now so she might say hi later."

♡ rages in minecraft survival mode and just quits the game after she dies for the millionth time.

♡ "i fr cannot do this like i can't bro this game is stupid as hell anyway....", eventhough she almost punched a hole through her monitor.

♡ you post cute little short, (and/or) faceless vlogs to document your travels or events and sometimes ellie is shown in them!!

♡ the comments are so 😭😭

♡ she absolutely would defend you straight away if you get any sort of hate though.

♡ wears the STUPIDEST t-shirts and you think they're funny but you refuse to let her wear them out.

♡ like that one shirt that says "lesbians eat what?!!" and it's a load of shocked looking cats on it.

♡ "ellie... can you please change your shirt? we're going to dinner 😥"

♡ fans also send them to her through a PO box if she has one and she unboxes them on stream too, so she has a whole collection.

♡ sometimes you join her stream when she's taking a break to eat dinner or something so you show the chat your sims 4 save file or another game you like.

♡ her mic is so bad but she refuses to change it because she thinks it sounds funny.

♡ speaking of sound she also spams that sound board she has to no return (i remember reading this from someone elses post help).

♡ "CHAT I WON LETS GO", *cue the crowd cheering sound effect and a load of blow horns*

♡ "what did i have for dinner? i had a cheeseburger....", *american national anthem plays*

♡ did a whole stream watching edits her fans made her and she was giggling the whole time. (she has a favourites folder on tiktok)

♡ she's totally a repost warrior.

♡ eventhough she does stream kinda often, she makes sure to spend a lot of time with you, even if it's pausing the stream to help you make dinner during a suuuuper long charity stream or something.

♡ if she posts a photo dump on instagram or something you're always in it somehow, and it's always faceless if you don't want your face shown to that many people online.

♡ always sosososo supportive of everything you do and tells the chat if you're comfortable, she's just such a cutie pie.

♡ "guys my pretty girlfriend is graduating soon can you believe that she's just such a genius".

♡ doesn't mention the fact that she is also in college like 😭😭.

♡ sometimes she just doesn't know what to do so she goes on google maps.

♡ "lemme show yous the block i live on.... wait nevermind woah".

♡ you heard that from the other room and your heart DROPPED.

please don't buy tlou games as the creator is a zionist.

[carto0ncritter]

Abusive fictional fathers - Robotnik vs. Stolas

I won't be talking about Coconuts here since he's not on screen that much, but know that I feel sorry for the stuff he's been through, poor guy

Robotnik ⮕ Scratch & Grounder

Like... he literally only created these two to use and abuse them and that's crystal clear

When I say Robotnik is an abusive pos, this is what I mean (and this is just some of the physical abuse, don't even get me started on the emotional):

...Okay, that last picture was the last straw. Robotnik's thrist for power has officially outweighted Scratch and Grounder's "value." He felt 0 remorse for throwing them into the lava. Keep in mind, he THOUGHT HE HAD KILLED THEM and DIDN'T CARE AT ALL. Thankfully they were fine. And no the fact that they're robots doesn't make it any less wrong

If you're willing to sacrifice your children for a powerful artefact, then I'm (NOT) sorry to say this, but you're a heartless pos and deserve to be held accountable for your actions. If I were in Scratch and Grounder's shoes, I would have ran the hell away right then and there and found home elsewhere

However, unlike with Stolas and Octavia, at least the narrative doesn't try to convince us that Robotnik loves his sons. Because if he did, he would have tried to change his behavior. Or better, he wouldn't have abused them IN THE FIRST PLACE! AT ALL! No matter what he had gone through! I'm not denying that his mom was a pos to him just like he's a pos to scratch and grounder, but i refuse to see this as an excuse. he should have tried his best to break the cycle of abuse

*sigh* Now I've gotta talk about that stupid bird man... let's just get this over with.

Stolas ⮕ Octavia

Stolas is shown to have been there for Via in her childhood. although we never see them bond over anything, connect emotionally with each other or spend quality time together, we've only got this one nightmare scene. this was the only time stolas was shown to care about octavia

He did his best to calm her down and make her feel safe, then proceeded to break his promise for a booty call. For a childhood "friend" that his father bought for him 25 years ago.

And you're telling me how Stolas didn't realize that bringing Blitzø along in Loo Loo Land is uh... a bad idea that will make his daughter feel even worse?

I HATE the excuse that Stolas was "just clueless." Because anyone with the tiniest bit of common sense would come to the same conclusion: flirting with your booty call in front of your daughter who is a minor and going through emotional hell that happened because you cheated on her mother makes you a horrible and selfish father.

Even worse is that Stolas doesn't learn his lesson and once again neglects Octavia. Stolas is too busy hating his ex wife and gushing over his abuse victim that he can't even be bothered to look for his daughter himself, and instead Loona has to be the one to go find her. And then she literally tells Via how her dad's trying his best and how she should cut him some slack. No. No she shouldn't. Octavia was right to think that Stolas hates Stella more than he loves her because that's what his actions show.

He can hug her all he wants and promise to do better but he has done nothing to even TRY to be better for this poor girl.

Not to mention that Loona is a hypocrite. Blitzø has always been doing his best to be a good dad to her, and she thanks him for saving her life by being a complete bitch. It's been five. Fucking. Years. Of unconditional love and support from Blitzø's side. And what does he get in return? A kick in the balls. Blitzø also got beat up by her and hit with the "if I'm so terrible why don't you replace me" after he rightfully called her out and you're trying to tell me Blitzø was the one in the wrong and how this isn't abusive huh ok then whatever ya say

I won't talk about the upcoming episode much. I honestly just don't have the strength anymore. But to make it as short as possible, Stolas is gonna be treated like an uwu poor sad gay boi and once again choose Blitzø, the guy he r*ped, over his own child.

If you check out the leaked story boards for s2 ep12, you'll see how disgusting it is that Via is spitting nothing but facts and yet she'll be demonized by the writers, Stolas lovers and Stolitz shippers. Just...

Please stop lying, dude. Just stop. You shattered her entire life and neglected her for a guy you abused and never got to know on a level that's deeper than sex. No wonder Via thinks he doesn’t love her anymore. The line above gives me the same vibe as THIS line also they made Stolas not only ACT like a guy who victimizes himself but LOOK that way too

STOP LYING. JUST SHUT UP.

I hate this self-pitying hypocrite sm.

And yeah, I get it: he was put in an arranged marriage (this was clearly a retcon, but whatever floats viv's boat) despite being gay and was sheltered and never had friends, but those are explanations for his behavior, not excuses.

Oh and, to anyone who thinks otherwise: Emotional neglect is a form of abuse.

Closing Thoughts

One important thing that I noticed with both Scratch and Grounder and Octavia, is how none of them feel at home with their fathers. A reliable way to know whether you've failed as a parent or not is to see how your behavior affects your kid(s). How does your behavior make them feel?

Let's see here... *checks notes*

Octavia says how Stolas ruined their family, not Stella and in ep12 she's finally gonna call him out on his bullshit thank god. but unfortunately the toxic gay ship will once again be a priority because it's gay

Scratch and Grounder are terrified of Robotnik's wrath, he constantly makes them feel useless and unwanted, but at the same time, they have no problem betraying him both of them always come back to him, just like how Blitzø doesn't leave his abuser because he wants to feel "loved" and "needed" for once even though Stolas treats him like shit

So yeah, if you made your kid(s) feel this way, you've officially failed as a father.

[crow-man9000]

sonic movie 3 thoughts (spoilers below for. literally everything basically + these thoughts are very sporadic)

I cannot express into a fully comprehensive english sentence how much I love this movie. I'm not even kidding, I think it's one of my favourite movies... ever! it tops raggedy ann and andy, it tops nimona, it tops deadpool and wolverine, it tops the mario movie, and dare I say my sam and max spinterest may get drowned out because of this movie... I'm never leaving this fandom tho. I am chained here LMAOOO

I absolutely ADORED all the scenes with shadow and maria! the movies highlighted their relationship perfectly, and I loved how shadow and maria looked up at the stars instead of looking down on earth on the ark because well. yknow. points to the arc-shaped hole in the movie. when she died I kinda felt like that video of that hazbin hotel fan crying over angel dust but um! we don't need to talk about that ^_^

also I fucking HATED gerald. I know we're supposed to but like I wanted to punch through the movie screen and choke him istg HE PISSES ME OFFFFF RAAAAAAAAAAAH

ok. normal now I swear. the chao garden! I loved the chao garden, and when team sonic all wears those chao mascot heads 😭😭😭 THEY LOOKED SO STUPID (SLASH POS) I LOVE THEM

also they said. a lot of things a lot of times. half of the time I was telling my mum "THE FUNNY HEDGEHOG SAID THE THING!" even though she has no idea what the fuck I'm talking about LMAOOOO. especially when sonic said "ok hot topic" I know it was in the trailers but I did not expect a snapcube reference

THE MOON SCENE. I AM NOT KIDDING I HAD MY JAW WIDE OPEN. AND THEY ADDED LIVE AND LEARN??? YOU PESKY FILM MAKERS I THOUGHT THEY WEREN'T GONNA BE IN THE MOVIE BUT YOU GOT MEEE YOU GOT ME GOOOOOOD. that scene was genuinely majestic, when the sun rises over the two of them and then shadow grabs his hand and they go super??? hello??? do you want me to go crazy??? (spoiler alert: I went crazy)

eggman and shadows sacrifices did make me a little upset not gonna lie... stone didn't even get to say goodbye properly :(( please let stone enter his villian arc next movie I think he deserves one... at least we know shadows coming back!

speaking of the next movie, AMY AND METAL!!!! I was straight TWEAKING when amy revealed herself. movie amy looks so fucking awesome GRAAAAAAAAAAAH I WILL GO INSANE!!!!! who do you guys think is gonna voice her? for some reason I can't stop thinking of movie amy as british? london being in this movie has corrupted me.... the british are invading yet another territory: my mind.

overall, this movie was so so good and I absolutely cannot wait for the next one! sonic 4 here we come!!!

no, not you episode 3

[cowgurrrl]

You're My Only Hope for Heaven

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author's note: oh bitch I'm having a fucking blast with this dynamic the slow burn is slow burning

Summary: An unlikely patron saunters into your bar [3.5k]

Warnings: one (1) creepy guy, one (1) fake marriage, lots of flirting that’s not flirting but it’s not not flirting, one (1) kiss

You try not to make it a habit of picking up bar shifts during the week. Not only is it almost always slow, and you barely make any money, but it's hard to go from teaching for eight hours directly to another job. You'd much rather be at home, grading or doing something for yourself for the first time in weeks. But you couldn't say no when Katie called you, almost in tears, begging you to take her shift so she could deal with a burst pipe in her house. You don't regret doing her a favor, but you do regret other things as you stand behind the mostly empty bar as whatever game is happening plays on the screen above your head. You think it's a UT game. Or maybe A&M. Or any of the other SEC Texas schools with an absurd football budget. 

You're basically yawning your way through your shift and working through your newest painting in your head, trying and failing to not think about school until absolutely necessary. Principal Martinez is cracking down on the stupid minutiae the school board demands of its teachers, and you spent most of your afternoon writing student objectives on the board. On top of that, your art club kids have been begging you to plan a field trip to the local art museum for weeks. You finally relented, but the paperwork is mind-numbing and requires much more work than you thought. Between working, making art, and trying to live your life, you barely have time. 

Another reason you hate working weekdays is the creepy regulars. Normally, you can ignore them on a busy Saturday night, but it's harder when it's as dead as it is. You have no idea how Katie deals with them on a regular basis. It started with a guy at the bar, you think his name is Steve, asking you progressively invasive questions. "How old are you?" "You gotta boyfriend?" "What time do you get off?" One right after each other, even after you made it clear you're not interested. Fake laughing and making excuses to run to the back or change a keg don't throw him off. 

"Keep it up, and I'll cut you off." You finally threaten after he asks you why you're being a bitch. You roll your eyes when the bell above the door rings, probably admitting yet another asshole who's gonna make your night hell. When you turn toward the door, the words leave you before you can stop them. "You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

"Now, is that any way to greet your customers?" Joel chuckles, and you sigh as he sits down in front of you. Thankfully, his brother is not in tow, and you can save yourself a little embarrassment. "I didn't know you worked here."

"I don't," you say. "Whatcha drinkin'?" 

"Looks like you're workin' to me." He smirks and you shoot him a look.

"You wanna free drink or not?" 

"Shiner," he answers quickly. You hum in acknowledgment, not even bothering with the POS system and going right to the fridge to pull a bottle out for him. You pop the cap off and place a napkin under the beer before sliding it to him. "Are you bribin' me?"

"You've gotta be faster with your questions, Miller. You've already accepted it. Might as well enjoy." You say, and he laughs. 

"Well, alright, then," he says, raising his beer to you before taking a quick sip. "So, what's this, then? You moonlightin' as a bartender?" He asks, and you fight yourself on how to answer. What if word gets back to parents? Administration? They couldn't reprimand you for that, right? You know plenty of other teachers with second jobs, so it can't be that taboo. Still, you're hesitant to open up to Joel. Out of all the people who could've walked into your bar tonight, it had to be him.

"Something like that." You settle on, wiping a sticky spot on the bar to avoid his gaze. If he feels anything negative about you having a second job, his face doesn't show it. He has a soft smile on his lips and a slight sunburn across his nose, highlighting the freckles living there that previously went unnoticed. You want to tease him about not wearing sunscreen, but the joke dies in your throat when he rests his elbows on your bar, showing off those stupid biceps you can't not look at. He catches your eyes lingering near the short sleeve of his shirt and opens his mouth like he's going to say something, but a grating voice from the other side of the bar cuts him off.

"Excuse me, sweetheart! You've got other patrons over here!" Steve yells, and you feel your eye twitch at his attitude. Joel notices.

"What's wrong with him?" He asks quietly, leaning forward over the bar to get closer to you. Looking into his brown eyes and confused expression, an idea forms.

"Pretend you know me." You say, and his eyebrows knit together, every emotion visible on his face. 

"I do know you."

"No, I mean," you sigh. "That guy over there is a regular on Wednesdays, and the girl who usually works is married, so he doesn't try anything with her, but I won't give him my number, and he's making me fucking miserable. So, just... pretend to know me." Joel is bigger than Steve. Much bigger. Probably a whole head taller and much broader than the man on the other side of the bar. One word from Joel, and he might actually shut up or, better yet, leave altogether so you can finish your day without any more hiccups.

"Okay," Joel agrees, and you reflexively reach out to touch his thick forearm and squeeze. You don't even realize you did it until he smiles like he won a staring contest or something.

"Thank you," you say before turning and bracing yourself to deal with Steve. "What can I do for you, sir?" You ask, but before you can even finish your sentence, he holds up his empty beer bottle and waves it in front of your face like you're stupid. 

"Another beer." He says, and you bite your tongue. 

"You got it."

"Finally," he groans. "You'd think for such an easy fuckin' job, you'd be better at it." 

"What the fuck is your problem?" You ask, refusing to move from your spot to get him his beer, and he scoffs.

"My problem is that you're bein' a fuckin' bitch and ignorin' me when I didn't do nothin' wrong." He's slurring his words together at this point, and you wordlessly go to the POS system to close his tab and send him on his way. "Hey, I'm talkin' to you!" He yells after you.

"Hey, man, why don't you leave her alone? She's just tryna do her job." Joel speaks up from the other side of the bar, and Steve straightens up in his seat as he assesses Joel. 

"This isn't any of your fuckin' business. Stay out of it."

"It's my business now. That's no way to speak to a lady. I think you owe her a mighty big apology." 

"I don't owe her shit," he spits, and you look over to see Joel setting his jaw and squaring his shoulders. "Why's this even matter to you, big shot?"

"That's my fuckin' wife you're mouthin' off to," Joel says without hesitation, and you quickly school your expression. Wife? You asked him to play along, but you didn't think he'd say that. "So, if you wanna keep the rest of your teeth, I suggest you apologize to her, leave her a nice, big tip for dealin' with your sorry ass, and get yourself a ride home." 

Steve is silent as you take the empty bottle away from him— just in case things get really ugly— and slide him his card and bill. He eyes Joel carefully for a few tense seconds before picking up a pen, signing his check, and leaving without another word. The second he's out the door, you feel a weight lift off your shoulders and sigh at the relief. You scrub a hand down your face and look over at Joel.

"You okay?" He asks gently like you're a spooked horse, and you nod. You take a few minutes to get yourself together, putting in Steve's 30% tip and cleaning off the empty bar before returning to Joel. "What?" He asks when he catches you smirking.

"At least buy a girl dinner before you call me your wife." You say, and he laughs, shaking his head. 

"You said the other girl is married. I just took it and ran," he says. "And I already tried to take you to dinner, but somebody said no." 

"School regulation says it's unethical." 

"Well, we're not at school now, and you're certainly not a teacher right now." He says smoothly, vaguely gesturing to your all-black outfit, and you give him a look. "What time d'you get off?"

"You're gonna get me in trouble." You whisper, and he leans forward across the bar. 

"All I did was ask you a question." He whispers back, playfully mocking you. It could be the smile on his face, the relaxed humor behind his eyes, or the fact that he stood up for you because you asked him to, but you glance between him and the clock and take a deep breath. 

"I get off at 12. Unless it stays dead like this, then I'm closing early," you say, and his smile grows. "But this is not a date." 

"'Course not." He chuckles, and you raise your eyebrows at him. 

"I'm serious. I need you to say it's not a date, so I know you won't come after me if your kid fails my class." 

"Is my kid failing your class?"

"No, she's amazing. But for my own mental well-being, I need you to say that this is not a date." You say, and he grabs your wrist to stop your anxious wringing. 

"Let me buy you a drink. That's it. Nothin' more," he says, squeezing you. "This ain't a date." 

"Thank you." You sigh, and he nods. 

You spend an hour or two idling between conversations with Joel and trying to look busy for any manager who might care enough to check the cameras. You're pretty much done with all your closing duties by 10:00, and you wait until it's been a full hour since anyone else came in to flip the closed sign and do a few last-minute things. When the bar is completely clean, empty, and ready for the next shift, you slink back behind it to make yourself and Joel a drink before sitting beside him. 

"You feelin' proud of yourself for getting us here?" You ask as you clink your glass against his and take a sip. 

"Yeah, I've got the prettiest girl in the whole place sittin' by me," he says, and before you can even scold him, he throws his hands up. "Not a date." 

"Not a date." You repeat.

"Still true, though."

"Don't make me regret saying yes to you, Mr. Miller." You say, and he gives you a look. You like teasing him, especially since you can always see exactly how he's feeling. He's not particularly subtle, contrary to what you're sure others think about him. 

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Joel?" 

"As many times as it takes, I guess," you shrug. "You also clearly have an aversion to being called Mr. Miller."

"My dad was Mr. Miller." He says, and you roll your eyes, groaning and half-folding in on yourself dramatically. 

"Oh, my God, do you know how many men have said that to me since I've become a teacher?"

"Well, it's true!" He says. "Are you sayin' other people are tryna tell my wife to call ‘em by their first names?" He asks, and you laugh. 

"Believe it or not, you're not the first single parent to ask me out." 

"Am I the first one you said yes to?" 

"So far." 

"So far?" He asks, raising his eyebrows, and you hum. "I'll take it." 

Unsurprisingly, Joel is really easy to talk to. He asks questions about your life outside of work, where you went to school, and what made you want to be a teacher. You ask him about his job and family and, somehow, end up talking about the latest cheesy action film he's seen. When both your drinks are empty, the glasses sit there, the ice slowly melting as you talk into the night. Every time a hint of anxiety creeps up your spine, he makes you laugh or tells you an interesting story from his past and distracts you from it. You lose hours sitting there, and you don't even realize it until your phone pings you with a reminder, and you suddenly see it's past midnight.

"Oh, shit," you mumble, showing Joel the time. "I gotta lock up."

"And you have school tomorrow." He says, and you groan as you stand and grab your glasses. 

"Don't remind me. I've got like five million things waiting to get done there." You say. He watches you step behind the bar, leave them in the sink for the opener to find, and no doubt send a catty message in the group chat asking who closed the night before. His eyes don't leave you even when you reach up and grab your bag, your sleeve falling down just enough to reveal a nasty bruise.

"Woah, that looks like it hurt," he says, gesturing to your arm. "How'd you get that?"

"Promise you won't laugh." Your response does nothing to clear up his confusion, but he raises his right hand and makes a cross over his heart.

"I promise." His tone is gentle and even, but you're still hesitant to actually admit it.

"I fell off a table." 

"I told you!"

"Hey!" You scold. "You promised you'd be cool about it!"

"I promised not to laugh." He says, and you roll your eyes. "They still haven't come to fix it for ya?"

"Would I be climbing on tables if they did?"

"Fair enough," he shrugs. You find the bar keys at the bottom of your purse and walk over to where he's still sitting, your hand resting on the back of your chair. He shifts forward until he can catch the edge of your sleeve and roll it up to see the bruise in all her glory. His fingers are warm, and his touch light as he traces the edge of it, not firm enough to make it ache but enough that you feel the pads of his fingers. You freeze like your stillness will be enough for the feather-light touches to continue, your eyes meeting for a split second. He clears his throat and rolls your sleeve back down for you, drawing his hand back. "Tell you what," he says. "I gotta buddy who gets me a good deal on some spare parts. Let me see if I can track down the part you need, and I'll come fix it myself. Free of charge."

"You don't have to do that." 

"And let my wife fall off tables?" He asks, a smirk pulling on his lips, and you shake your head. "It's the least I can do for the free drinks and, ya know, teachin' my kid." 

"Fine, but don't make it a thing. The maintenance people already don't like me. I can't imagine seeking outside help will make them like me." 

"I won't make it a thing," he promises, leaning back in his chair as his eyes travel up and down your body. He sighs heavily and sucks his teeth like you're suddenly too much, and you smile. "It's a damn shame this wasn't a date."

"What'd you do if it was?" The question borders on dangerous, but you can't take it back now that you've said it. It seems to have piqued Joel's interest, too, because he raises his eyebrows at you.

"You really wanna know?" He asks, and you nod.

"I really wanna know," you say. "How does Joel Miller end a successful date?" He gets a little bashful at the question, a blush creeping up his neck, and you knock his knee with yours to get his attention. "C'mon, don't get shy on me now."

"Alright, alright," he grumbles. "If this were a date, and we were gettin' ready to go out separate ways, I'd walk you out to your car, open the door for ya 'cause a lady should never open her own doors," his voice is slow and low, and he watches your face as he speaks. "And I'd kiss you. Nice and slow so I don't scare ya off or anythin'. I might put a hand on your waist or bite that pretty lip or somethin'. And right when I can feel you wantin' a little more, gettin' a little desperate, I'd stop, say goodnight, and walk back to my truck." His words have a devastating effect on you, and you can't look away from him. The heat rolling off him in waves makes you too warm and flustered. His gaze flicks from your eyes to your lips, his own tongue darting out to wet his plump bottom lip, and you have half a mind to think he's looking at you like he wants to eat you alive. You have half a mind to let him. 

"You're right," you finally breathe. "It's a shame this isn't a date." He nods and stands, his broad chest grazing yours as you look up at him. You're not a science teacher by any means. If you were, you might be able to explain the magnetism you feel toward Joel or what stupid chemical in your brain makes you wonder what tricks he keeps up his sleeve. But you're not. You're an art teacher. So, the only thing you can focus on is the deep brown of his irises and the heavy lashes and crow's feet that frame his eyes. And the swoop of his salt and pepper curls, the tint of his slightly pink forehead and strong nose. You want to capture his image in the dim lighting of the bar, but you settle for committing it to memory to scribble in the margins of your notebook for the rest of the week. Why couldn't you have been a science teacher?

Neither of you says anything as he finally steps away, giving you the space to turn off the last of the bar lights and push through the haze he created in your mind. He lingers by the door and opens it for you when you go to the front and step into the humid Austin night. You lock the doors and give him a small smile when you turn around to see him rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. 

Then, just as he said, he walks you to your car and opens the driver's side door for you. His truck, the only other car in the parking lot, is parked a few spaces away from yours. It would've been so much easier to just ignore you, get in his car, and drive away, but here he is, being the gentleman he's always been toward you. You step into the space created by the open door and throw your bag in the passenger seat, but don't get in the car. Not yet. He sighs heavily, like he's in physical pain, when you meet his eyes again, and his hand flexes around the edge of your car door. 

"Thanks for my not date." You mumble, and he nods. You're close (and weak) enough that brushing his lips would just take a strong breeze. It freaks you out how okay you are with the idea of "accidentally" kissing Joel Miller. You should be panicking. Alarm bells should be sounding in your head, but the only thing filling the cavernous space is the echo of his voice explaining what he'd do if this were a date. Idiot.

He leans on your door a little more, and your heart quickens, thinking he might actually be the one to make the move. His head ducks just a little, and you get a strong whiff of his cologne, your eyes fluttering shut at the scent. Your throat is suddenly dry, and you're all but pushing up on your toes when he swerves past your lips and presses a chaste, firm kiss to your cheek. His beard scratches your soft skin pleasantly, and you keep your eyes closed until he pulls away, looking like he just won a prize.

"Get home safe." He says as he steps back, still holding your door open. You sigh and fight a smile as you look at him— cocky, vindicated, and knowing exactly what he just did. 

"Goodnight, Joel." You manage to get out before sitting down and letting him gently shut the door for you. You wait until he gets in his truck to roll your window down and shout his name until he does the same. "I'm gonna get you back for that."

"Oh, I'm countin' on it, darlin'."

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha @cosmoscoffeee @shyminnie07 @beezusvreeland @eddiemunsonsbedroom @harriedandharassed @doodlebob-mp3

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Episode 4! It's pouring rain outside, and I am curled up on the coach with the fireplace going. Let's do this.

Lol, not Pond just lurking and waiting for a moment to engage more with Sand.

You have no chill, my boy, and I love it.

Poor Pun, when you're trying to lead an event, and your dumbass friends keep coming over to loudly flirt with their crushes.

Lol, Arc is just so stupid when it comes to love, but I find it endearing anyway. (Please always use medical professionals when you have the chance).

Do we need to start a justice for JJ thing? I know he's usually a comic relief character, but someone should be loving on that man.

Don't feel bad Arm, we would all be similarly distracted in your shoes.

I am so happy Marc & Poon are already getting so much more screen time in this show.

Also, I may have cackled out loud at Sand yeeting his sandwich.

Oh god, Pond coming in with a steel chair to hit our emotions.

Ahhhhhh, you guys are killing me!!!

I'm starting to realize Poon is like a few of our other GMMTV boys, in that he has chemistry with literally everyone he shares a screen with.

Oh no, they broke Po!

He may be physically broken, but also the least dumb in seeing the faen writing on the wall. Poor Po.

Um, Arm, you can't hide 3 people behind a hedge that is a foot tall.

Ok, A-ngun is growing on me - she's not taking any of this personally, and is encouraging Arm to go for it. I'm so glad we're moving so far past the days of horrible women characters in BL.

We are taking a pause in programming to admire Force's eyelashes.

He's so damn pretty.

Ok, back to programming.

Ha, I love when Arm is bratting it up. Book makes such a good brat.

Aw, love that Po immediately clocked that a guy was in danger. I mean they're all kinda dumbasses to try and take on that many guys alone, but our babies are such good boys at heart.

Also glad they're not just shrugging off a bottle to the head, cuz that shit is dangerous.

Arc's red coming out, because our boy is feeling fired up with his baby being hurt. (I'm still so proud of myself when I notice colors).

Ok, sweet sentiment Arc, but can you stop patting him right where he got smashed with a bottle?

Bambi eyes alert!

Arc has gotta be doing some internal cartwheels over Arm being in his bed for the first time.

Oooh, I thought I had glimpsed color on Arc's knuckles in the bed scene, but wasn't sure... glad they came back to it.

Yep - our red boy got rage.

Oh yay, I was worried they would neglect having a Pond fussing over Sand moment. I have to keep reminding myself this is not We Are, and they are getting a full story here.

Finally, some directness!

Beach episode for #5 already? Interesting...

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

Vivziepoop , You Delusional Dumbass You Can't Reclaim Hell

Hell isn't to be reclaimed it's a place where people who are unrepentant of their sins go. And no it's not based on good works as you dumbass pop culture understanders say, but based on whether you accepted Christ into your heart and admit your sins. I believe reclaiming hell is a stupid thing to do because when it comes down how hell really is it's about how being selfish is celebrated and you do what you want without restraint. No wonder hell is wussified because she thinks it's her playground to live out what she thinks is a magical land where you can be yourself instead of the place of torment it is. Does she not remember that also down there are the most horrible pos to live which might include some judgmental fundies she despises? Neither of you guys would love being down there together so it would be ironic and fitting considering how those who claim to be good then act like despicable pos to others. Also demons being nicer is an oxymoron does this dumbass hear of stories of what demons are actually like because frankly I don't think demons are affirming they would be more like people who lead you astray then tattle on you to God just to get brownie points and look better. Believe me in real theology they would just act like friends and then leave abandoned to help themselves. If you want to make a magical land to validate yourselves then just make make a magical dimension where queer people are accepted.

[kittehbiscuits]

ok as someone who doesn’t really care for musical beetlelands (don’t get me wrong i understand what the appeal is and it’s a fine ship)

i LOOOVE what u r saying about movie beetlelands. something about that dynamic just sounds… chefs kiss. thanks for opening my eyes

THANK YOU!!!!!! I'm so glad you agree and I am going to rant about movie Beetlands now

Okay first of all, Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin are both 6'0, and Micheal Keaton is 5'9, so........ the icky man is shorter than both of them /pos

I'm going to be real I think Moviejuice is a real shitty guy, he was alive in the 1300s so I'm sure he's misogynistic, womanizing, homophobic, transphobic, etc. But just like the other two juices I still headcanon him as pansexual and genderfluid. So, the beetlands relationship would force him to face those biases. (I also headcanon the Maitlainds as T4T and bi because I am cringe what did u expect)

Speaking of biases and generally being a mischievous and evil creature, I know that Barbara would put him in his place and no way in hell would he not listen to a beautiful women if she told him what to do. He'd try to convince the Maitlainds otherwise but he absolutely loves being bossed/dragged around because he is sick and vile and silly.

I love movie Maitlainds so so so so much like, Barbara seeing Delia talk about changing their house and going "I'm gonna get her." THEY'RE SO FUNNY and so madly in love they make me sick..... like the scene where they were sitting on the couch and the phone was ringing but everytime one stood up to get it the other pulled them back and they smooched while giggling like ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

Ummmm also *because* of that I also like the idea of Beetlejuice being the recipient of that affection... listen he would have to earn it first but also I can't stop thinking about that evil creepy icky guy being faced with cuddles and kisses and pretending he doesn't like it because he's totally above all that and love is for losers. But *also* relationships totally are NOT unfamiliar territory for him he's like super experienced totally wdym.

He would be a cool weird uncle figure for Lydia hjahxjaodbabdjcjejahcjsofbsbsbajcjajdhakrhcbabd and Lydia would make him realize he's genderfluid sorry I don't make the rules

I NEED TO BEAT HIM UP GRAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He would like it.

I hate that thing guys so much horrible character I get no enjoyment from his stupid face and I totally don't think about him 24/7 mhm yeah.

[randomnameless]

Not to bring irl shit but when you consider that there are people who believe in their own moral superiority, that everything should burn to the ground, people should die for their cause and those they don't like deserve to die for justice, it makes sense why there would be Agarthan stans despite how comically evil they are in the games. Not saying it's good (it's not), but it's the same sort of edgelord doomer nihilist mentality. Or maybe I'm thinking way too hard about this and they just support them because their waifu is working with them and they can't be bad if she's "purely good" despite their actions in game saying otherwise.

Uh...

I guess everyone knows there are people who are pos around, but what became more and more annoying with the years is how some of those beliefs have been romanticed for X and Y reason (marketing purposes because earl grey sells) and if you add to that the performative era - where being a fan of a character means you have to endorse everything this character says or does, we end up with some mess.

And I think while the devoted fans we all know and love have their part of responsability in this - as you say - supporting characters no matter what to the point of swallowing their nauseabond rhetoric because waifu allies with them before backstabbing them offscreen...

I still believe content creators are sort of also to blame with this, see the earlier earl grey marketing reasons.

IIRC, in the Marvel movies the purple guy who erases half of the universe is/was/got a cup bcs sad uwus he's ready to sacrifice his daughter for the greater good?

Cry me a fucking river !

What about the rest of the world who was zapped due to his whims? Why should I care about the feefees of someone who slaughters billions and not the feelings of the ones slaughtered?

Take Kishimoto : trying too hard to make people sympathise with his anti-heroes ultimately means that their victims have no voice to any chapter, Ramen Guy will never be able to express anger (if he wasn't dead when Konoha was flattened) at Nagato turning his daughter in a pancake, or Sakura will never weep for her parents, etc etc... but we get a long FB about Nagato's sad backstory with, what can be summed up as "the world fucked me over so I'll fuck over the world and you can't stop that unless you decide to fuck me over too" without anyone telling him that his reasoning is puerile and quite frankly stupid.

Madara being very sad not being elected big boss so he takes out his salt by launching repeated attacks at the village and its inhabitants? "Who cares, he was very sad (tm) when Hashirama decided to kill him to protect the village, what a hypocrite !!!"

The less is said about AoT, the better we all are lol, but in honor of MHA ending I'll just say that... I fucking loved the panels at the end (or last chapters?) where randoms civilians are shitting on Shigaraki, even if the panel with the old lady who blames herself for not helping him back then or taking his hand was hilarious, considering that in his FB, he said he would have killed her too "oh poor him if only i died for his sake he might not have grown up as a vilain" come on that's too much earl grey i'm out of this.

As for FE Fodlan, given how earl grey was used to sell and advertise the game, I guess you can't talk to Garcias or Nathalies and ask what they're thinking about the war that is razing their homes because someone wants to unify the world and is willing to sacrifice them to do so, or hell, we can't even listen to Merlinus voice his thoughts about the strange plague in Remire and how horrible it is, to Amy wonder why the fuck her parents transformed in demonic beasts and tried to kill her.

So when even content creators believe that their vilains have to get a pass regardless of the amount of shit they pulled off - I can't exclusively blame devoted fans for going very very far with their takes to support the bae.

Special mention to Miura (rip) who never lost an occasion to portray Griffith as manipulative and conniving, and yet some people really believed (and some still do?) he did nothing wrong...

[ourpickwickclub]

OMG someone (GR? lol) must be reporting the comments on ET's IG, cuz some of the BEST ones are now hidden. Whoever screenshots them, can you please get the hidden ones too, cuz they are too good. like these:

I think I speak for all women Gavin, you cheated we don't give two s**** about your feelings, and you get to live with that until your kids you're a big cheating loser bag.

Here's how not to get divorced don't be a whore

You cheated and how she found out about it was humiliating and you wish there was more of a connection with the person you cheated on???!!! Your narcissistic, self centred, selfish side is showing. Go back under your rock and grow a sensitivity chip. Geez

Maybe he should have kept his 🍆 in his pants!

Wasn't he banging the nanny? That's what he should feel shame about

Should have thought about that when he was cheating with the nanny! 💩

Came to the comments to say what everyone else is saying YOU CHEATED THOUGH RIGHT? Woman are not centers for broken men 🖤 men need to grow up and hold themselves accountable for destroying things. This dude is a clown and I hope he knows it.

You never thought you would get divorced? Because you thought Gwen was a slave to your blatant and flagrant infidelity? What a pompous loser!!

The man shagged the nanny and now is blaming the ex for the family break up and lack of connection 😒

Oh, please. We know this type of guy. Effing Cheater!

Stupid m fu**er 🤷🏼‍♀️and with the Nanny 🤦🏼‍♀️stupider 😩

He’s a butthole

Somebody smack the audacity out of that man.

Well duh you wouldn’t have if you had kept you 🍆 in your pants ! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Don’t be a dirt bag cheater

Then he shouldn’t have been a cheating pig! Let that be a lesson to cheaters! You ruin lives.

So while he was running around the world putting his penis in strange women, he never thought "Hey, I wonder if this might lead to a divorce for me."

You feel bad for kids. Dude you cheated HELLO. Keep it moving your a disgrace as a lil man

Oh please now you want Gwen’s attention in your life? Give it up

Such a jerk

Well, he should have kept his pecker in his pants. That was his choice.

Well maybe he shouldn't have been a whore!

Well, you f’d the babysitter. Pretty sure that was not in your marriage vows! Idiot! She is much better now than she was when she was with him.

"I never thought id ever get divorced" he almost said "I thought she put up with it and stay for the sake of the kids cause he feels bad for them how stupid is he

Cheater . She’s happy. Let it be .

Yeah, it would have been nice if you didn't stick your d inside your nanny! Then maybe you wouldn't have any shame?

Should have kept your penis in your pants . You caused the break up of your marriage and now you’re crying about a lost connection with your kids . You didn’t just cheat on Gwen , you cheated on your 3 kids .

Helps if you keep your penis in your pants too

Sir we do not give a flying fck what u have to say.

Cheaters always come back to play the victim! Boy bye Go on and join in with Jimmie Allen, I’m sure they can be cheating besties!

He’s a cheating sack of ugly it’s no wonder she left

You f U — t someone else, a lot!

These things tend to happen when you’re at dirty Cheater

Ya CHEATER!

Right… while he was banging the nanny

Makes me so sad... What a moron cheating on her. ESP with a downgrade.

Cheaters deserve the worst

While then you shouldn’t have cheated! Loser

Perhaps if you’d kept your pecker in your pants things would be different. I’m glad for Gwen that she’s found so much happiness and rebuilt a beautiful home. The divorce must have been a painful time for her

You never deserved Gwen you pos

Cheaters always try to find an excuse to play the victim

===

Just wanted to post the hidden ones here in case they get deleted, although screenshots look better...it reminds me of when Gibson was deleting every facebook comment roasting ML in their ad last year. All of the comments were pure gold, did anyone happen to screenshot them before they got deleted? They were so funny. It feels good when people get what they deserve.

Even though it can never take away the pain that BG suffered, it's nice to see so many people on the side of TRUTH and not falling for lies and manipulation.

.

[animatroniclovingsylveon]

You, ddoodle world enjoyer! Show me your team! :3

(if you want)

ABSOLUTELY!!!!

Here's my team! It's technically 7 "members" because I have another Doodle that I swap out occasionally, and it's this guy:

Louis my beloved <3

Anyways now I'm gonna ramble about my team if you care to read teehee

Taima the Lumiline - Halloween '22 Skin

Named after my OC, Taima! Lumiline seemed like the kind of Doodle that Taima would love, so it felt like the right kind of name for it. She has Reflective as her Trait and she can wipe teams.

Rosie the Nyanto✨- Emperor Skin

Technically the newest member of the team! I remember when Threec was released and I saw the evo and I fell so hard in love with it. I shiny hunted it almost immediately and Rosie is my sweet baby princess! She and Taima are a powerhouse together, it's so awesome.

Pascal the Somberock - Kitty Skin

Papa Pascal! I always see him as the sort of wise, older party member. He doesn't talk much, but he would lay his life down for his team. Usually I save him for the back of the party because he tends to be on the slower side, but he's meant to be more stall-y, in a way.

Jiji the Vixalor - Calico Skin

My other gorgeous girl. I remember pulling this from the Roulette with the Hidden Trait and I was over the fucking moon. She's dangerous with Magician and Gem Blast because of that chance to raise Mag Atk sharply in one go. A nightmare in fox fur <3

Chia the Zapoeira - Calico Skin

MY STARTERRRR!!! Named after my irl cat, Chia! She's been with me from the start and I love her to pieces! I remember seeing the Calico skin and I NEEDED to own it. I scrambled in to Discord for a few months hoping someone would be willing to trade it and I eventually got it!!! I was so happy.

Udon the Gyornaw✨- Cat Skin

This guy was a happy accident! I found him in Runic Island WITH the Cat Skin AND shiny, so it felt right to use him on my team. He's my little menace to society who takes hits like a fucking champ <3

MissingNo the Louis - Pride Skin

My favorite Doodle. I don't know how this little shit wormed its way into my heart but it did. I love this fucker and his stupid little FACE. If I don't have Louis on my TEAM team, I have him as my little avatar buddy and he goes everywhere with me. I've been trying to get all the Louis skins and I'm missing a few of them and I'm MAD but it's fine. MissingNo hits like a fucking freight train if left unattended, he scares me /pos

[talentisntgenius]

Bottoms (2023) but instead of a fight club they have a gaming club — Part 1.

headcanons(?), loose plot, and shenanigans.

The club was established a long time ago by Josie, PJ, and Hazel when the school started to require every student to be a part of a club.

PJ didn't want to partake in any club as they all seem to involve physical exertion and community service so she thought they could just make up their own and they ended up with a gaming club.

They had high hopes for the club in the beginning bc who doesn't like video games?! But it turns out three nerds endorsing the club didn't seem too appealing to the many students of Rockbridge Falls High.

They used to play different types of games until they decided to exclusively play Tekken bc it's PJ's favorite and everything PJ's demanding ass wants, she gets (/pos. she's princess).

Also bc there were only three of them and Hazel always seemed to go with whatever PJ wanted.

They play local tourneys... Oh, and they never win!

They get a ten dollar budget from the school which they use to buy food after participating in a tourney.

PJ is Lili main because duh! She's gay and dramatic.

PJ's adamant that she mains Lili bc she's 'hot and sexy' but really she just thinks her outfit is pretty </3

Hazel is Asuka main mostly bc PJ is Lili main lol she also mains Lars.

PJ thinks Hazel purposefully choses Asuka to piss her off bc Hazel always beats her.

Josie is Jin main but sometimes she plays Josie just because :)

Josie draws Tekken fanart/comics.

Sometimes Josie draws Asulili fanart to piss off PJ. She gives them to Hazel who puts them up in her bedroom <3

PJ believes Josie's a show-off for being a Jin main but Josie thinks it just shows how much of a loser shut-in she is.

PJ spams single moves when she wants to piss off Josie.

And yes PJ was definitely a button masher. When they were younger Hazel beat her twelve times in a row and she got so mad that she didn't talk to Hazel for a whole day until Hazel showed her what practice mode is actually for.

She grinded so much that time that she failed a test but it was all worth it when she finally beat Hazel. It wasn't that long until Hazel was, yet again, unbeatable to PJ.

Josie is defo the best out of all of them, she's naturally great at remembering combos.

Josie and Hazel loves discoursing/theorizing about the plot and characters with each other.

Hazel makes them club shirts every year bc she's the rich one.

Hazel loves experimenting with/building fightsticks.

Hazel likes to write down combos she find on YouTube and she shares it with the club when they meet.

Hazel also takes notes about what everyone needs to improve during their sessions. Josie takes notes when it's her turn.

And PJ thinks it's stupid, "You guys don't need to do all that. Literally, no one cares about this club but us. We could be not doing any of this and no one will care,"

When they got to senior year they were given a notice by the school telling them they were gonna shut them down and m cut off their budget if they don't rack up at least ten members and gain any significant achievement for the school.

"Fuck this stupid fucking school. Why can't we be ugly, gay, and untalented in peace?! Does that mean it's one dollar for each student? Do they think my Tekken expertise costs a dollar?!"

Luckily Hazel got Sylvie and Crystal to join. Annie's also there, she doesn't play, she just sits there and complain the violence.

Sylvie is Panda/Kuma main. Crystal is King main. Annie will play Julia but only if she's playing against Sylvie.

Hazel also got Stella Rebecca to join too but only cuz she told her about the tourney prize money.

Stella started out as a Chloe main until she saw PJ playing as Alisa once and got into her bc chainsaws ^-^ !

They're still missing three members and lo and behold— Isabel and Brittany joined the club.

[evorathesylvurr]

so i just realized i never processed my thoughts of whats happening in canto 7 so far so like.

spoilers below the cut obviously

1) its so funny to me that canonically, livestreaming fixer work is a thing. imagine if the private detective you hired was streaming shit. or like your personal body guard. why were both of those examples something the zwei would do its the cinq guy that was streaming lmao.

2) vergilius being like "dont get into trouble *sees don quixote* get into as little trouble as you lot physically can"

3) hong lu family & parallels are. hm. /pos (cant wait for him to turn back into a rock or something idk i didnt read the source material i only read some of the synopsis)

4) i need don to have a breakdown about how people perceive her and for meursault to say something about people's perceptions and how they don't need to be something she is dependent on or something idk. i need them to be autism friends you dont understand.

5) i need to draw all of the sinners in kigurumis now. why did they give heathcliff the poor-mans fursuit. he is not beating the allegations.

6) i love the stupid paper cutout passives. they are so funny. "lose just 1 sp, maybe". they will find a bloodfiend and the passive will say "might have a little blood, as a treat" and the internet will go insane.

7) i struggled a LOT because I am used to my ncorp team. hopefully i will have properly built my tremor or burn teams when part 2 drops. i am scraping by with underleveled tremor.

8) i need to look at dialogue and figure out what i want to do w/ my oc/self-insert and figure out where theyd interject dialouge. this isnt c7 specific.

[fateinthestars]

Star Crossed Myth Advent Calendar 2024 Fanfic: Day Fourteen - Bound Together (Huedhaut/MC)

(Fanfic Advent Calendar for 2024 using this prompt list from creativepromptsforwriting)

Title: Day Fourteen - Bound Together

Pairing: Huedhaut/MC (MC's name left blank so you can fill it in with whatever you wish in your head)

Characters: Ichthys, Scorpio, Huedhaut, MC

Word Count: 1,250

Rating: T

Prompt: Books

Summary: Heading to the mansion to see her boyfriend, MC finds the other in rather a state thanks to a certain prankster.

Day Fourteen: Bound Together (Huedhaut/MC)

The week before Christmas ____ headed to the mansion with the intention of seeing her boyfriend. As she came into the entrance hall, she frowned at the worried expression on Ichthys’ face as the God of Pisces greeted her.

“I'm really not sure it's a good idea for you to be here right now!”

“Is Hue alright?” ____ asked the other, somewhat suspiciously due to which god she was talking to.

Ichthys bit his lip, averting his gaze. “I actually think he's really mad this time. I didn't mean for this to happen, I just miscalculated the -”

“ICHTHYS! Dammit you problem child, when I get my hands on you…”

“Crap, Scorpio's heard what happened now?” Ichthys grimaced. “Later, ____ . If he asks you, you haven't seen me.”

As the prankster vanished, ____ put a hand to her head. She swallowed hard as Scorpio came into the hallway at that moment.

“Has that troublemaker -”

“Is Hue alright?” ____ quickly interrupted him, recalling that she hadn't got a full answer from Ichthys.

Scorpio actually looked a little troubled for once. “Ah. If you know Mr Smart Guy was unwittingly on the receiving end of this chaos then clearly you did see him. I think you better get to your boyfriend's room.”

“But what exactly -”

“Dammit woman,” Scorpio snapped, now scowling and glaring straight at her, “I don't have time to explain every stupid little detail. If you hold me up here any longer I'll have to assume you are trying to let Ichthys escape and then maybe I'll punish you in his place!”

“S-sorry! I'm going!” ____ blurted out quickly, before running up the stairs towards Huedhaut's room.

***

Eventually arriving, she knocked hesitantly on the door.

“Whoever is out there I really would think twice before entering.”

____ flinched. Huehaut's voice was ice cold. Just what had happened here? Troubled by his tone, but concerned about her boyfriend, she hesitantly opened the door.

Huedhaut turned sharply as the door opened, and raised his hand presumably with the intention of snapping his fingers, but he dropped it immediately when he saw ____ standing there. The iciness to his eyes started to clear, but now ____ was in this room she could see the devastation that had been caused:

Not only were most of Huedhaut's books on the floor rather than on the shelves they belonged to, but, her boyfriend was soaking wet.

Without a word, she rushed over to him and hugged him tightly. “Are you alright?”

Huedhaut ran a hand through his hair, dislodging some of the water. He looked rather tiredly at her. “You know, you could have waited until I'd summoned some dry clothes. Now you're getting wet as well.”

“... I thought you could do with a hug…”

The other finally relaxed into his usual smirk. “Well if this is what it takes for you to do this so easily, maybe I will allow Ichthys to do things like this more often.”

“Hue!” ____ snapped, though her voice was filled with relief at hearing a snarky comment from the other. She then somewhat hesitantly added, “I did actually see Ichthys before coming here. He seems to think you're really furious with him…”

“Good,” Huedhaut grumbled. “It is going to take forever to get this back to normal.”

“Why are you wet anyway?”

Huedhaut sighed heavily. “I had two choices when the explosion from whatever Ichthys had been trying to do downstairs shook this room: Either I remained where I was and let an entire bookcase worth of books fall on me, or I jump backwards knowing full well that there's a pool in the middle of my room. It was a split second decision, one where I am not sure whether I'll ever be able to ascertain whether I picked the correct answer or not. All I knew for certain was there was not time to teleport.”

____ tightened her grip on him. “Are you hurt?”

“... Only because you are holding me too tightly,” Huedhaut teased, relaxing into a soft smile as she loosened her hold. “I am fine. Which is more than I can say for my library.”

“Need some help?”

Stepping back from her, Huedhaut snapped his fingers and his wet Wishes’ uniform disappeared to be replaced with his human attire. “I am not sure I can face assessing this damage right now. Besides, you came all this way. Let's get away from the other gods for a bit.”

“Are you sure? If your mind is going to be on this all evening I really don't mind staying here…”

Huedhaut sighed. “You may be right. However, Zyglavis is due back from the heavens shortly and if he catches wind of this I am going to have to give him a clear report on how this occurred. Besides, I would rather not have any of the others finding out exactly what transpired here today if possible. You said you'd seen Ichthys?”

____ nodded. “Scorpio too.”

“Then let us slip away before we have any more unwelcome interruptions,” Huedhaut muttered. He snapped his fingers and summoned a dry outfit for ____, then grabbing her hand tightly snapped them once more to teleport them away from the mansion.

***

They arrived at a snow covered field, an iced over lake glinting in the distance. However, ____’s focus right now was more on the god beside her. “Hue…”

Huedhaut took deep breaths before eventually turning to face her. “Forgive me for my demeanour tonight.”

____ smiled softly at him. “No one can blame you for that. If Ichthys had ruined Leon’s or Scorpio’s room like that, can you imagine what their reaction would have been?”

The other relaxed into a genuine smile. “Now there’s an image I needed right now.”

“Where are we anyway?”

Huedhaut sighed softly, looking over towards the lake. “We’re in that book you lent me.”

“Oh! Yes, I let you borrow…” ____ trailed off, turning to him with a frown. “Wait. Is the reason you were so unsettled tonight not because of all of your books ending up on the floor, but because you were worried the one I’d lent you had got damaged?”

Grimacing, Huedhaut looked melancholy down at the ground. “Why did you have to pick today to be more intuitive?”

“Hey,” ____ grumbled, though she was somewhat glad he was still making comments like that despite his posture. “Huedhaut… I’m just glad you’re alright.”

Huedhaut looked sharply back up at that, his eyes glinting a little. “I’m a god, you needn’t worry about that.”

“But if you’d gone for the books falling on you, that would have still hurt, right? What if one of the shelves had actually toppled?”

The other’s eyes widened. Smiling softly, he pulled her into a tight hug. “What am I to do with you?”

“Huh?”

“... You have just answered something I did not think I’d get the answer to: I definitely made the right decision jumping into my pool.”

____ stifled a laugh. “Well, I must admit, seeing you standing there with your hair and clothes all wet was quite the sight…”

Huedhaut pulled away from her, his eyes glinting as he smirked at her. “Oh? If you were that amused by that, perhaps I should teach you a lesson.”

“Hue, what are you -” ____ cut off as the other pushed her down onto the snow and engaged her in a kiss.

Smiling softly, she wrapped her arms around him and happily returned his affections.

[blistering-typhoons]

BBC SHERLOCK REWATCH - A STUDY IN PINK (REAL TIME NOTES)

From the perspective of someone who watched this show when they were thirteen, made it their whole personality and then stopped being a massive prat.

I thought about organizing this into a cohesive review, and maybe as I go on I'll delve deeper into some of my observations but for now I thought it would be funny to present my findings in raw, mostly unaltered form:

- loud ass opening, my god

- only bit of acting Martin freeman ever does lmao

- dances along to theme against my will

- god the effects and transitions are so shit

- all the shots of the pills are so ugly

- oh yay molly - whoo - yayyy

- the potential withe these two goddamn

- also this sherlock does not drink his respect women juice by god

- fucksake the deduction about john's sister- not only is it translated awfully into this modern setting, it's explicitly a deduction Sherlock is supposed to make once they know eachother a bit better

- THE POTENTIAL

- also sherlock displaying one insecurity when john accidentally insults his stuff- well done moftiss, characterization

- How far away is the crime scene, why it dark

- pls the transitions

- PIPE BOMB, WHOO Phone deductionnnn

- oh my god it's so shit

- uuuuuuuugggghhhh the potential I hate this shooooow

- fuckin deduction as a way for witty one liners and sexism, i hate this place

- 'you were thinking it's annoying' i'm going to send myself off a cliff, CRINGE

- RACHE- moffat, come here a sec- literally putting ACD on par with the police, who are always wrong the sheer audacity- also just a bad change

- these lens flare white lights are so goofy please, you will never be a whole scene of silence with jeremy brett

- benedict cumberbatch is very pretty i will grant

- terrorized by the fact i used to quote this show unironically

- from a writing point of view I understand that John gushing over Sherlock is to show off and emphasize their specialest boy- but, some sincerity is infused into it from an acting standpoint

- 30:02 GIRLIE WHAT IS THAT SOUND EFFECT

- OOH YAY THE PSYCHOPATH/SOCIOPATH STUFF WHOO YEAAAAH

- All the phones calling as john walks past is kinda cool but mostly stupid

- oh anthea, what a rich character lmao

- how long was mycroft posed like that

- First johnlock queerbait whooo

- Where does he fuck off to???

- he just vanishes lmaoooo

- Three patch problem. Bruh.

- I am bored as shit, help

- This music- girl

- Bloated is a very good word to describe some of these scenes

- HERE SHE IS- THE BIG DADDY OF QUEERBAITING

- this scene is insane fucKING INSANE I HATE THIS SHOW

- god how much episode is left fucksake

- the stop/go signs- pick a tone girl

- this episode is so almost good and it's anytime Sherlock makes a mistake lmao

- not the drugs bust :/

- ooh sociopath line- whoo

- "I don't have to [imagine]." OOOH OKAY, WELL, YOU GUYS GET *ONE* POINT FOR THAT SHEESH

- this is so ridiculous- COME WITH ME- girl shut up

- I wanna be done I wanna be doooone.

- lamenting the confrontation we had in the unaired pilot

- The 'Frwhoomp' noise as the light goes out, girl

- 20 Minutes left my christ

- BRO- I forgot that bit of ADR wooooof

- and thus begins the scree of Moriarty

- five years, why is Scotland Yard still doubtful of Sherlock's skills? I know he might have been deep in his addiction during some of that, but they evidently kept him around for crime solving.

- Great man/good man quote has me fumin babes, my god, what a fundamental misunderstanding of Sherlock Holmes

- boring ass back and forth

- this piano is giving me war flashbacks

- is it a five orange pips reference?

- also the pills look like that speckled gum that burns your throat

- when is it oveeer

- falling asleep

- bomb under the table but the table is made of glass and hates gay people

- she tooks the kidssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

- 13 min

- love, or rage, dude, come on Sherlock

- i hate this 'enjoying crime too much' theme they've written

- like watching a stupid play

- once more, the potential

- moriarty he said calmly

- also, so out of character for Sherlock do I even need to say

- peaks of what could have been- FUCK

- this mycroft fake out- lord

- also, mummy, fucksake

- cheesy ending BUT IT'S OVER

[lilithfairen]

I didn't bother doing a post on the previous episode of Fixing RWBY, but I can sum it up in two points:

Celtic Phoenix at one point makes a (pretty witty) joke about Pyrrha's bedroom being "spartan" in style. This is then ruined by him saying that he can't make many jokes because he's "streamlining" the volume. This is said during an episode of events that are entirely of his own creation and do absolutely nothing to further the plot whatsoever, continuing this trend of grinding the plot to a complete halt in Argus.

The episode focuses on JNR and Roman/Neo, and highlights the fact that Celtic Phoenix doesn't write groups of friends as squabbling assholes who can't get along for five seconds when those groups don't consist of multiple women. (Reminder: Celtic Phoenix added wholly-unnecessary and stupid drama between Nora and Pyrrha in his rewrite of the Beacon arc, creating hostility specifically and solely between the two women of Team JNPR.)

Now that we've gone through that, Episode 17 is about Team RWBY trying to get their friendship back on track! Because remember, streamlining! (Also this entire arc of Team RWBY being Women Can't Get Along is entirely of this misogynistic asshole's creation.)

Anyway, Ruby starts off by talking about how much fun she had with Team RNJR, continuing the trend of Ruby treating RNJR as more of her Real Team than RWBY. Ruby decides they'll all go to the beach!

Except it's freezing out, as the others point out.

Celtic Phoenix really has This Thing for writing the main protagonist of a series focused on female characters as a complete fucking idiot, and I have a solid idea why.

Anyway, afterwards they go to a cafe to warm Ruby up. Weiss whines about Yang drinking her tea hot, because again, Celtic Phoenix being a stupid fucking misogynist. Weiss offers to pay, but then passes the bill to Ruby, and somehow a bunch of drinks at a cafe are super expensive. This makes total sense.

Ruby then says that they can't go shopping afterwards then, so they go to a nightclub. In the middle of the day, when it's empty. Ruby messes up her dance and hurts herself, which makes all of her friends laugh at her(!!!). Yang calls Ruby "Rubes", which makes it even less subtle that Celtic Phoenix ripped off plot details from Volume 9 for his shitty rewrite.

They have a good time, and mock Weiss for not being able to dance(!!!). Somehow Ruby thought their day went poorly, probably because her friends haven't stopped being Women Can't Get Along. But then there's an alert from Cordovin!

They race over to find a bunch of Grimm having broken through the wall, plus a bunch of sliced-up soldiers and Huntsmen. Guess who, it's Adam! So Team RWBY run away from him on their vehicles.

Yes. Because literally the only fucking way Celtic Phoenix can make Adam intimidating is to treat the main heroines of the show as being utterly helpless against him.

And Adam chases after them. On foot, jumping from car to car. Their plan is to lure him to the military base. There's a fight scene, Adam gets unmasked and Weiss is made to care about this psycho piece of shit Celtic Phoenix wants you to care, he then kicks everyone's ass, and then he gets unceremoniously taken out by Cordovin with a cattle prod.

Really.

So, let us repeat: This guy who is so badass that Team RWBY flees in terror at the sight of him and is so badass that he can 1v4 them has been effortlessly taken out by

one drunk guy

one little old lady

But our protagonists aren't allowed to stand a chance against him.

Probably because they aren't a.) military, written by an alt-right POS or b.) men, written by a misogynistic POS.

And all of this is so desperate to make Adam this unstoppable hyper-badass who's so psychopathic and yet somehow you should feel empathy for him because his mom was abused. Celtic Phoenix so desperately wants Adam to be a badass that he proceeds to write him as an entirely uninteresting and pathetic antagonist. He just shows up to be an asshole, that's literally it. If Celtic Phoenix thinks Adam is somehow sympathetic by letting a swarm of monsters into an inhabited city, then Celtic Phoenix himself might very well be a psychopath too.

Volume 6 knew well enough to leave Adam until the end, because it understood tension and drama. It understood that Adam was a terrifying antagonist not because he was more powerful than Team RWBY combined, but because of the kind of hateful, abusive, obsessed psychopath he was. It allowed him to appear at the most dramatic moment possible, ambushing Blake when she was solo and vulnerable. He was pathetic as a person, yet terrifying in his desperation to harm and abuse Blake and Yang, and being strong in the ways Adam was weak was how Blake and Yang overcame him.

Here? Adam is a boring psycho who just shows up whenever Celtic Phoenix wants him to, everyone acts like he's the most badass person in existence, the titular heroines are reduced to helplessness in order to make him look threatening, and then he gets his ass kicked in the most anticlimactic, unfulfilling manner possible.

Because Celtic Phoenix is an incredibly shitty writer.