#you could have had SOMETHING.
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we've been rewatching Digimon lately, and have recently gotten to Frontier. we were thinking "oh, maybe it's not as bad as we remember, maybe the fact that it came after Tamers colored our perception of its quality." we even started watching it before Tamers, just in case. it's bad. there is so much potential here. there's so many ideas that we like. but it's bad.
#Faye Rambles#you wanna know what we completely forgot about until the rewatch?#the fact that the digi-destined get their asses kicked constantly until they don't#filler is fine; we have nothing against filler; but when the filler is the protags getting destroyed for several episodes accomplishing-#-nothing of note until they suddenly win; it's just. bro#this is not helped by the goggles lone wolf duo stealing the spotlight harder than any other in the series#while also spending seven episodes in a row getting thrashed#god. literally the rest of the team are relegated to cheer leading duty while the two of them eat dirt constantly until they don't.#like we don't hate it for being a henshin show- though we will admit the lack of true digimon partners hurts it a lot#there's so much potential here. you could have done anything with the spirits other than making them glorified transformation coupons#you could have some form of struggle with humanity#the spirits could have fucking spoke at some point; advised them#you could have had SOMETHING.#LOSING our MIND.#Tamers cannot come fast enough in this binge marathon asdfkljn
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I was at a bookstore looking through the art section and I saw a spine that said The Camden Town Nudes which was interesting because this didn’t seem like the bookstore where I would ever find something like that and I wanted to have a casual look but like. This also wasn’t exactly the bookstore where you felt like you could look at naked pictures let alone just suggestive paintings of them, it’s a really small shop as well, so I was like right I’ll just take a quick peek, I’m an art student, I love history, maybe I’ll buy it. I looked both ways and saw the shopkeep had left momentarily and no one was about, so I opened it and found it was an entire book featuring nude Edwardian women all painted by Walter Sickert between 1905-1912 and it was actually quite a revolutionary set of paintings for its time given that it featured very raw depictions of working class nude women in dark London instead of the elegant, white bedsheet clad, Demure middle and upper class women usually depicted.
And of course RIGHT as I flip to this lady’s boobs practically taking up an entire double page spread, every customer in a 5 mile radius appeared from around the corners of the shelf including the shopkeep and immediately regressing to a wet, pathetic Edwardian man from 1908, startled, I dropped the large book which caused a giant SLAP on the floor in this already silent store thus causing all patrons to look down at me scrambling on my knees to close a giant book of Edwardian boobs and let me tell you it would not have been nearly as funny had I not immediately felt like some Edwardian local pervert who just tried to sneak a cheeky peek at the erotic book in the bookstore only to drop it dramatically causing a scene, red up to his ears trying to shove it back on the shelf. Like such a casual and normal thing in modern day but looking at Edwardian women suddenly turned it into this egregious act as I apparently became possessed by the spirit of a moustached man in a bowler hat and morning coat going Good Heavens I mustn’t gaze upon these images in public lest the constable haul me away!
#Like it was the fact that if it had been any other book on the same subject I would not have batted an eye#Suddenly it was 1912 and I was doing something scandalous#And I’m sad because I wanted it but obviously I didn’t buy it because how could you at that point#The still deeply traumatised soul of an Edwardian man prohibited it I guess#So instead I walked away with books on caring for antiques and WWI unironically#I need to draw this#me#laugh tag#edwardian era
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:
michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club
*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***
that's it that's the movie
outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative
actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.
aka Michael Myers Is A Republican
but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too
also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain
side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty
i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978
(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)
oh no he's hot
#HALLOWEEN#halloween the movie#michael myers#do you think he's a mike? mikey? to his friends? if slashers had friends?#i'll be honest i was expecting this movie to be way more of a bitch to its female characters#i mean yeah they died but so did some dudes#there's just a lack of cattiness compared to the way most later movies portrayed teenage girls idk#yeah the Final Girl is a Virgin and a Bookworm. but there's no bullying or any strong sense that's she's morally superior to everyone else#mostly she AND the other girls feel a bit sorry for her lack of a social life. one even tries to set her up with a date to the school dance#solidarity! trying to get your nerd friend laid!#overall it's just teenagers being teenagers and then a slasher comes in and ruins everything with his Lack Of Chill#like yeah dude sometimes teenagers have sex. get over it#also something to be said about how while the girl who survives is the one who isn't sexually active and dresses conservatively...#ultimately those things aren't ENOUGH to prevent her from being targeted#you could say that the other girls 'provoked' the villain (the same way women irl are so often accused of provoking their attackers)#but ultimately that doesn't keep the Final Girl safe. it just delays the inevitable.#because violent men never need excuses. no matter how eager society is to provide them.#ultimately she is at the mercy of the same violent whims because it was never her behavior that invited the violence.#gendered violence doesn't need an invitation.#also she doesn't save herself the doctor saves her#it's not her actions or choices that put her in danger OR save her from it--once again it is the whim of a man#no this wasn't intended to be a feminist movie it's just fun how you could argue it that way
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As much as I love angst I think it would be funny if he just didnt give af
#Hazel you cant just ask people if they have a dead mom#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fop#fairly oddparents a new wish#headcanon#fop hazel#hazel wells#fop dev#dev dimmadome#I think he has mildly positive associations with it tbh#He asked where babies came from and his dad actually took him aside and explained how he was super special and important#and better than everyone else because he was a clone and talked him through the whole cloning process very excitedly#(Dev did not understand a word of it but it was probably the most positive interaction he'd ever had with his dad)#later Dev came back and asked where normal kids come from and he got uncomfy and made an Au-Pair explain#other than that Dev has basically no thoughts on being a clone its just a fact to him.#Actually thinking about it now that could be a really dark explanation for why his real name is Development#I mean you dont just get cloning right on the first try#and nobody wants to name and get attached something that might just fall over dead any minute#HAHA anway angst over teehee :3#fop nature au#<-for organization since this HC applies to it too
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Someone I am not
#silver the hedgehog#satbk galahad#satbk#silver#galahad#sonic and the black knight#satbk sir galahad#sth#sth fanart#sonic fanart#my art#doodles#hi. been working on this off an on for the past couple. months? anyways#<3#something about being haunted about who you are or could have been#are they you? would they have done things differently if they were in your position? would things have ended up exactly the same#are you jealous. sad. horrified by someone who is you but transformed and mirrored so many times they are someone else entirely#would you be kind to them. give them comfort that you either know you need or wish you had#what would you around someone you think you know. do you even know yourself? maybe not entirely. not anymore#anyways enjoy the painting <3
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Ghouls night out
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Scopophobia#Don't be mean Lan Wangji - the dead girl aesthetic is a curated one. Support women's rights to look dead!#I have been waiting for this scene for ages...the ghost girl entourage is such a good look for WWX.#And by gods does the audio drama actually do something interesting with one of them.#Namely that we actually get to see WWX talk with them and learn about who they were and what they left behind.#I love necromancer characters but it's way too common for them to be like “Go! Ghost no.145!” like they're a pokemon#and not...you know...someone who had a whole life that they left behind.#I love me a necromancer who has an awareness to whose soul/body they are using. It adds a lot of flavour!#MDZS is a little hit or miss with this. I think the fans do a lot of the work with making Mo Xuanyu a bigger character.#Yi City has this in spades. Even though we don't individually get character backstories#We get many painful reminders about how these 'corpses' were people.#We also get a few lines about how WWX used whatever corpses he could get his hands on (including grandparents - Woof!)#MDZS often (but not always) likes to remind us that every sacrifice and every ghost was a person.#It is so close to nailing the landing regarding the deconstruction of the necromancer character.#Anyhow. You may have noticed the uptick in quality in the last two comics. Rule of three means next one is going to be a treat B*)#See you all very soon!
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Did you think I was done? Ahahahaha no, I have more.
Because chapter 70 of MOMU gave me the very dynamic between them that I missed so much, I just blacked out and started drawing uncontrollably lmao
Also. ALSO. I noticed a while ago that Prowl has the habit of..like…constantly frowning. So. I did a bit of research and made this graph.
In 70 chapters, Prowl frowns rougly 104 times. And the intensity of this gesture is very clearly correlated with the development of his relationship with Jazz, as you can see ahahahahah It might be wrong tho don’t take me seriously I’m not good with graphs
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#jazzprowl#fic fanart#momu fanart#I just#mmmmm#For the whole fic Prowl had to think twice about everything Jazz says#every information could end up being wrong#sometimes even without Jazz realising it#so when Prowl says#he’s trusting Jazz. it’s.#also it totally wasn’t me googling ‘believing and trusting nuance difference in english’#the moment I realised the difference I think my brain started rollercoaster loops#he can’t believe him but he found enough faith to trust him#while. YES. For the whole story Jazz couldn’t fucking be believed#list e n#Jazz did a lot of things for Prowl#fucktons of big and small gestures to show that yes he likes loves and appreciates Prowl#I’m so happy Prowl is returning this energy#like#remember that scene a while back when Jazz kissed Prowl? Cool cool okay. Did Prowl kiss him? nope. It was one sided gestures#*gesture. That kiss didn’t make me feel like it’s truly something precious because Jazz started it but Prowl didn’t do quite the same#but this👆. This feels so much more important for me. Because Prowl#who is for the whole story was mister I calculate every chance of possible betrayal. Prowl whos entire personality is to trust nobody#Prowl goes. Fuck that I trust you. You feel me?#it wouldn’t be the same if he said I love you. Because love is very much something you don’t have a lot of control over.#but to trust someone? It’s a choice Prowl had to consciously make. You see what I mean? I love it. oh fuck I ran out of tags..
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"I love you, Zevran. I hope you know that."
"Yes... Yes, I know that."
— commission art by @sinizade, posted with permission
#***i want to clarify I commd this art from sinizade and this art is not my own!! please go follow them and comm them if you can!!#Something I commissioned in 2023 by the lovely sinizade! One of my fave pieces I've ever commissioned (still my background on my computers)#I could have gone for the classic 'In truth for the chance to be at your side I would storm the Dark City itself. Never doubt it' quote#which is honestly why this has been sitting in my drafts for so long. but this quoate is so simple and soft... i love it. and i love them!#anyways i too have the DAtV fever so ill be resharing some comms I've had done over the years :)#zevran#zevran arainai#zevran x warden#zevran x aeducan#warden aeducan#aeducan#da oc — riryn aeducan#also yes the ref is from tangled im not ashamed#dragon age#dragon age origins#commissioned art
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saw some mangy dog on the outskirts of town
#my art#oc#els#werewolf#furry#anthro#illustration#you would not believe the hassle this gave me lmao....i want to do more with it but i have to wipe my hands of it#idk if this looks good but it has to be finished i have to be finished with it#WORD OF ADVICE that allows a small glimpse into the horrible time i've had: PLAN YOUR COMPOSITIONS#GOD. initial drawing of els: 1-2 hours at most. trying to find a composition that doesn't suck: 100000 hours and ongoing#i think my problem is this els looks better zoomed in but finding a way to keep it zoomed in....mission impossible#i love this els face though. i will admit. i had to persevere to get SOMETHING that at least vaguely worked so i could show off this els#okay. okay. anyway it's greengage season again. big ups to greengages for making life just that much brighter#also the owls are goin crazyyy outside my window rn they are speaking and i am listening. in a delirium
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couple of screenshots of kim’s wikipedia page that i felt so deeply in my soul
#especially that first one like#damn#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#harry du bois#it’s not fair#or easy#but it’s not entirely impossible either#it’s not much#but you have me#and if that isn’t the most kim thing i ever did hear-#i have never felt this way about a fictional character before#i’ve had favorite characters ofc#comfort characters#but this is on another level#they did such a fantastic job creating kim it genuinely leaves me speechless sometimes#i mull it over in the shower and it’s always so impressive thinking back#his characterization is something i could only ever dream of coming close to#i love disco elysium#it changed my life
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something about "your anger isn't scary to me" is making me so emotional. something about as above so below, cassandra as a mirror of kristen. something about "I've been dropping the ball a lot lately" and kristen's struggles with adhd. something about teenage girls and rage and fury and justice. something about adaine's vision of ruining fallinel and the sylvaire looking for revenge. something about sadness and doubt and anger and love. something about "I choose to understand" being the absolute core theme of d20 in general. something something.
#something about kristen's adhd making her fuck things up and being mad at herself and that manifesting#as her deity being overcome with rage#something about fear and anger and shame and the inability to do better even when you're trying so hard#and something about people loving you anyway#something about 'your anger isnt scary to me'#as someone who had undiagnosed pcos in early high school and got so fucking MAD#something about adhd and how you're always failing and you have no one to blame but yourself#and how heart breaking it is to watch your life fall apart around you KNOWING you could do something#but being unable to do it right. always forgetting always slipping up#and how mad that makes you. at yourself.#this fight is so much#fhjy#d20#dimension 20#fantasy high
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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I like ward *gives him an existential crisis*
Character From marble sky comic by @ somerandomdudelmao, you should def read it right fucking now cuz its awesome
#marble sky#Marble sky fanart#Sculptor when I fucking get you sculptor#Doodle#Hmm wish I had a green pen so I could add cool light effect but oh well ahaha#I think it would be insanely terrifying to know that SOMETHING has been changed about you but having absolutely no idea WHAT#Knowing you'll never be the same again but being unaware of how exactly#Delicious#Sorry in rambling >_< and also probably wrong
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OH MEIN GOTT DAS STAR BELLY SNEETCH IST CUNTENSERVEN
#ggg#great god grove#huzzle mug#iggy's art#OKAY SO I MAY or may not have fallen in love w a certain god#IT HAS BEEN THE ONLY THING ON MY MIND THESE PAST FEW WEEKS huzzle you are perfect and i lvove you i cannot wait to learn all about you#i havent had any time to draw BUT the huzzle bug got me BAD i HAD to squeeze in every minute i could to draw a lil something for it 💦#feels so good to have finally drawn something after so long and huzzle is such a fun design to play w!! will ABSOLUTELY be drawing it more🫶
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People say Jason was being over dramatic becoming Red Hood instead of just going home to Gotham after coming back to life but honestly if Talia had even one recording of any of the unhinged insults Bruce canonically said about Jason while he was dead I think it becomes completely understandable if not a mild reaction
#jason todd#red hood#Batman#bruce wayne#slandering Jason was his only emotional for a decade#not even a joke#if I had a dime for every time Bruce said I love you to Jason in a issue I’d have ten cents#but if I had a dime for every time Bruce said something out of pocket about his dead son I could make a car payment
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