#you can still come home you know this

[randys-ranch]

damnnnn i miss my friend lol ahaha *kills self

Im not exactly happy about Gyro. I was a really lonely kid prior to 2020, i had like one friend and being part of Fersona earnestly changed my life, Gyro was one of my longest friendships, i loved this person, but to defend their participation in fetishizing child abuse and other such materials would just go against my morals, i'd really just like to see them reflect and get better, i didnt really want to leave but what fucking choice did i have if it was posting joyously about "t4t incest" or writing about a demented, lobotomized, transgender woman raping a child after school hours. Just why did you have to do this? this isnt how you cope, this isnt normal or healthy and it feels like self harm so why would you go ahead and say all these things. i dont wanna assume but yknow.yknowww it feels like Mallory coaxed them into it, entering a relationship with Mallory only to randomly one day get exposed for getting off to actual child abuse feels weirdly connected. but these were the people i'd suspect last of such a thing. i was raised on drama content, on callouts and whole essays dissecting how a child predator or a fido fucker was exposed and their descent into madness. i try to be normal, i try to have that voice in the back of my mind at all times. and yknow. i do struggle with weird things too, i did so at their age, i wouldnt say i was groomed, but i was influenced, i was influeneced and conditioned and i knew it was bad but i was told it wasnt bad as long as a very flimsy condition could be met and im seeing that in Gyro, someone their age takes their hand, pats it, and says "hey...its weird to be a freak" and you say "yeah! yeah! i know that! i advocate for freaks!" but at some point its not being a freak, its being a danger to yourself, its a slippery slope into something very very bad. i know you cant exactly control this sorta feeling i know this is a mental illness i know you have to get treated for paraphilias but for fucks sake you dont need to indulge it, when you have an urge to self harm you might self harm, or you might try to not self harm, you might find ways to hurt yourself without saying its self harm. as long as its not strictly "knife to wrist" you cant call it self harm right? like beating your legs until theyre purple or slamming your head against the wall or scratching yourself or bumming cigs or actually fucking slicing up for vulva for no fucking reason or trying to get yeast on purpose and then years later it happens okay WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT. i miss my friend, they were my friend, i know we stopped talking as much, it hurt, i wanted to talk more, to both of them, but maybe its good i didnt get too attached.

fuck 4th of july

[icewindandboringhorror]

On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?

*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)

*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)

(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )

(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)

[introspectivememories]

nah because crofty is genuinely insane because why would you say that about your coworker???? and to his face??? "this man knows lewis hamilton. friends, teammates, childhood buddies, rivals, everything but a lover." hello???? why are you saying that to nico rosberg's face???? why are you, as the lead f1 commentator, writing fanfiction about your coworker???? about him and his ex???? and also, what an insane thing to say about someone else's relationship!!! "everything but a lover"... just show them having gay sex onscreen, it would be less intimate than whatever the hell you just said.

[senseearly]

For a moment, imagine yourself in Mithrun's brother shoes.

Your brother - stronger, prettier, more charismatic, but also distrustful and disdainful of everyone especially you - is to be sent to the Canaries. It is the rule, it is the duty of all noble houses. But you know what goes on there, Mithrun knows what happens there. Yet you see him off, bidding a temporary farewell as you do, because someone from the House has to go and it won't be definitely you. Mithrun knows this, you know this. And you wonder, very briefly, if Mithrun hates you now more than he does already.

Your brother - powerful, agile, a good soldier just as he is as an heir, if he could only be an heir - suddenly disappears. The unit he belonged to suddenly disappeared. And you're speechless because - how? why? No one wants to answer you; they will instead try to bring back a body, they promise to you. But that is not what you want. You grieve for your brother. but your own family doesn't grieve with you. Wasn't Mithrun family too?

Then you found out: MIthrun is alive.

Your brother - now weak, despondent, his eyes always looking for something that is not here nor there - is to be sent home where people can take care of him. It is not your first choice, you want him home. But he is - sick. Not quite there. He needs someone who can look after him and you look at yourself - your gait, your constitution - and you know it can't be you. So, you follow the advice of your family and pour out all your resources to find him the best of healers and caretakers. You ask yourself, almost daily, if Mithrun would ever return to who he once was.

Your brother - strong, pretty, uninterested of anything and anyone else aside from what he calls 'the demon' - is now better. He can walk on his own now, eats without throwing up on himself. The color on his skin is back and the scars of his injuries have faded into thick bumps and discolored skin. But he still isn't quite there; still needs help and probably will for the rest of his life. And you can live with that. You can provide that. Just as long as he comes home.

But doesn't. Your brother - now a husk of his former self, and you hate thinking of him that way, but you can't help yourself, the Mithrun you knew is gone - runs straight back to the Canaries. His mission is not over, he says. He doesn't care how long it takes, he says. And you see him off, again, because someone from the House has to go and it still can't be you. Mithrun knows this, you know this, and you can't help but wish, very briefly, if things would've been different if you went instead of him.

[s0fter-sin]

ghost stares at the ceiling, chest heaving in a harsh pant; sweat ice on his clammy flesh and soaked into the sheet he restlessly kicks away.

ears still ringing, his fingertips blindly drift down to trail along his vivisection scar. he half-expects blood to smear in their wake. his own line of solomon, who ordered him split in twain; half of him given to a grieving mother and half left with the grieving to be.

just for both his broken halves to be rejected.

what did it make him that his mother grieved him more than she loved him? that she begged to be relieved of him more adamantly than she begged to receive him? why did his worth spill out with his drawn blood? why was his pain lesser than hers?

his hand flexes, digging into the raised scar like it’ll part beneath his fingertips to plunge into his mangled insides. no one knows the cruelty of reforming the halved; his name, his being, not nearly as important as his body when he was stripped from himself. no one knows the pain of healing and understanding losing pieces of yourself means losing your value along with them.

how many more pieces did he have to lose before he was halved once more? before his very presence incurred grief so strong it was better to be rid of him than cradle his bloodied remains?

did the infant fight himself? did he age always at odds with himself; his halves never truly whole? he hopes he wasn’t, that he was spared the loss of self; the fear that one may be welcomed over the other.

who will he lose when the inevitable comes? when he’s ripped apart again? simon? or ghost? is it better to be cursed with choice just like his mother or live with an aftermath chosen for him? does it matter if in the end, he convinces himself there was nothing of him left to lose?

his head lolls to the side and the wild buck of his chest slows. he watches johnny beside him, his face lax with the rare peace of sleep; his cheek squished against the pillow, his lips pursed as long breaths escape him.

johnny. soap. never torn asunder but two all the same.

he carefully reaches out and ghosts his fingers along the jagged scar on his chin. even in sleep, he presses into his bloodied touch. he’s never fled his half-flesh, never shies away from his gore as it spills unbidden from his cleaved torso. he holds on where his mother let him go; cups his stomach to hold his insides in place and never minds the blood that drips through his fingers.

simon will never let him become his own solomon and cannibalise himself. he will never let him question which half of him has more value; which pieces he can afford to lose before he’s cast aside.

ghost’s soap. simon’s johnny. his.

whole, in any incarnation.

[kusanagihaku]

hey zzg between the ad and the ssr card why did the water level rise 🤨🤨🤨

[syn4k]

to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

[adeleine-everyday]

day 102

no sabo kid

[swordmaid]

i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…

[nyatbinary-81]

@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.

[heich0e]

getting into a fight with roommate atsumu (who you definitely do NOT have feelings for) so one night you swap out his bed for a race car bed while he's out on a date

[timey-fandom-stuff]

well, guess who lost control of my hands again and was compelled to scribble down designs for ANOTHER Deltarune AU? yeah. me. it doesn't really have a proper name yet so I've just been calling it Changeling AU for now, I'll figure that out later.

these would be the cast's dark world designs; they parallel early Deltarune concepts in which the lightners would turn into monsters in the dark world-- with a few medieval fantasy fae-flavored twists this time around. mortals become a variety of magical beasts in the fae's dark realm, with only 'Kris' strangely unaffected... aside from the hue shift and conspicuously pointed ears, that is.

the main 'Kris' of this AU isn't the only human in town. instead, they're ironically the only one in town who ISN'T human, though not even they know it yet. in reality they're a Changeling, a fae creature that was left as a 'gift' to replace a taken human child. they can do things, strange things. animals come to them in the night, and the cool touch of iron burns their skin. they're afraid of what they see in the mirror; human eyes don't gleam in the dark, and their teeth shouldn't be so sharp. so they hide their features, and they ignore the whispers of the townsfolk, and they keep their head down.

they made a mistake, a terrible one... and they need to set it right.

meanwhile, the human they replaced is still out there somewhere in the fae world, twisted by its curse into a cornered, desperate beast seeking any escape from the realm that has held them prisoner all their life. it's said that when the full moon casts deep shadows over the woods, you can still hear their anguished howls in the dark begging for the name that once was theirs. they can never leave the dark world without it. they'd do anything to get it back.

all they've ever really wanted was to find their way home.

[derpemblemdaily]

September 23rd 2024 Update

Hello Everyone!

I know it's been quite a while since we've last given a proper update on this blog! [squints] Oh lord, almost four years?

That being said, I want to announce that I have something big planned! As I am now much older and have more adult responsibilities, this will be a very slow transition, but I'm excited for what the future holds!!

More info hopefully coming in within the next few weeks! Are you ready? 👀

[harvestmoth]

what do we think about pet store workers team xen

[scattered-winter]

there's something sooooooo heartbreaking about quests as a narrative piece. you set out on this journey to rescue someone or defeat a great evil and along the way you face hardship and horror and you grieve and fight and love and lose and then when it's all over you come home. everything is the same as when you left, but you're so irrevocably different that you no longer fit in the one place you used to be truly at peace. you're tired from your journey but you find no rest or recovery, only ghosts. and you almost wish for another quest, another dangerous mission, because at least then you know your purpose.

[invaliowat]

I don’t often acknowledge the fact that Nick Bradshaw canonically died in Top Gun, BUT, if I were to do such a thing it would be like when I was thinking the other night (I know- dangerous) and I was like rip to Nick Bradshaw you woulda LOVED the 2008 classic movie Step Brothers.