#you all need therapy
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pt IV good omens but all i know is i watched three episodes on a stream with you all
Three hours being in a server with good omens fans in the wild *insert random emojis to sound like optimum clickbait youtuber except this ain't clickbait*
Okay I woke up. Before everything just WASHES out of my brain, I'm gonna describe whatever happened last night best as I can, because that's what I do.
Some of you were unable to attend the stream, and were sad. But don't worry I got you guys here's the rundown:
people joined the server. people were confused. i was afraid. i was assured that i should be, which was meant to comfort me.
people introduced themselves. someone said they had worked in a brothel as a bartender, which was cool, they said they had many stories. they did not elaborate for fear of scaring the newcomers. The newcomers, aka, me, were already scared, and it was not of the brothel stories.
I brought an emotional support orange with me. It looked uncomfortable. I thought it would be rotten. It was not, but we would not know that until later.
@thescholarlystrumpet entered fabulously, and started the stream.
i didn't realise the show had started for a good two minutes because there was a random voice over that was telling us about Earth's star sign (Libra) and somehow that didn't compute in my brain as being part of the episode. I thought we were checking audio.
It turned out, the episode had begun, and everyone was acting like this is a completely normal way for a show to start.
We time-jumped from the fall of man to modern day society so fast that I got whiplash.
There were a lot of orgasmic noises. I asked why. I was told in no uncertain terms that those were screams of labour. I'm sorry to everyone who has given birth ever.
There were three babies. I tried to keep track, it was hard. I thought the Antichrist won prizes for tropical fish. I was wrong.
I fell in love with Crowley and his hips and was very gay on the chat. This was heartily applauded.
I didn't realise an hour had passed when the episode ended, which it seemed was to be a common theme. I said nothing happened which everyone found funny for some reason.
I was very concerned about Armageddon. Everyone assured me that it would take place over the course of the season. I asked why we'd speedrun through millennia in five minutes but eight days took several episodes. I was a naive fool. Time is a social construct and this show cares not for social constructs.
They fucked up the mission. This was also to be a common theme.
I begged for a break and had to shake my head to try and get the brain rot out. I did not succeed.
The second episode commenced. The intro concerned me, because the cartoon Aziraphale looked pregnant or like a chicken. I asked if Crowley had impregnated him. He had not.
The pornography scene had to be replayed because I was so lost and had not relished it properly.
There was a lot of crying on the chat. Every few minutes someone would say a normal sentence in English and everyone would respond with crying emojis. Needless to say, I was concerned. This was also to be a common theme.
I asked why we were talking about random children. I was told it was The Them and they were the Antichrist's friends. I liked the hellhound.
I wanted to adopt the Antichrist, and grew more thirsty for Crowley every time he was a casual accessory to murder. I'm relying on this fandom not to use this as evidence with the cops. The chat was not reassuring, they said maybe.
I thirsted for Crowley more. This was also to be a common theme.
Aziraphale was very cute, I realised. That was nice. It was not nice when he had gay panic and said mean things to Crowley and they broke up. This was also to be a common theme.
I got so gay for Crowley that I ate the emotional support orange. It was gaseous. The chat was concerned, and everyone got excited every time oranges were mentioned after.
The third episode was a fucking roller coaster. Crowley and Aziraphale were your average high school couple but biblical for 6000 years.
Both were casual accessories to murder, and sometimes the cause of the murders, before going out for a date. Crowley got horny and he stopped listening every time Aziraphale ate. This was also to be a common theme.
The chat was keeping count of the husband breakups. This was not nice.
The Bentley was silver in many scenes, and people were forced to concede that they saw it. I was smug.
Crowley was sexy. She served gender, or as some people in the chat said, she served cunt. Her hairstyles got better and better. No one liked the 60s one. I did. I like everything she does. I love him.
Things happened. The fandom infected me. Someone mentioned how the book said Crowley felt lonely. I was near tears.
Crowley walked down the aisle for Aziraphale. We all were happy.
The book case, the thermos, the bandstand. I was broken.
Everyone said very emotional goodbyes.
I made a post on tumblr that was absolutely incomprehensible but accurately conveyed my love for Crowley. I fell asleep.
Same time next week, I believe.
I hope this was an adequate summary of the livestream for everyone, I am broken irreparably and if anyone mentions the bandstand I will have to start drinking and not stop till I get a happy ending. I cannot afford alcohol. I will ferment grapes myself if I have to.
#good omens#good omens mascot#good omens summary#good omens livestream#go livestream summarised#episode 3 good omens#good omens 1#crowley#crowley serving gender#aziraphale#aziracrow#azirowley#aziraley#the j was just a j#weirdly-specific-but-ok#yall adopted me and broke me thanks#david tennant#michael sheen#good omens fandom#you all need therapy#i need therapy now#gay#queer#lgbtqia#queer tv shows#is this my life now#the good omens mascot#whom you have traumatised#is here to serve
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Part of the joy of playing a video game that has a large world in it that is also your hyperfixation is that you'll straight up avoid certain zones, or mute the bgm if you have to go there, because something bad happened to your blorbos there.
#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#yes this is about estinien#and the wol actually#aaaand vrtra#and bakool ja- okay you know what?#this is about the entire goddamned cast#YOU'RE ALL SAD#YOU ALL NEED THERAPY
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It's a canon event.
[Follow up to this post.]
#transformers#starscream#skywarp#thundercracker#thundercracker breaks the cycle of abuse by leaving#starscream is bad at apologies#skywarp is having a bad time#my au is just canon events but what if the trine loved each other#it gets worse before it gets better#they all need therapy#also at this point skywarp is no longer loyal to megatron but he's like conflicted about it#and for context in case you didnt know: thundercracker left before megatron's “death” and that was like three years ago (canon)
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Funny how Doechii gets left out of most conversations about the Grammies despite winning one of the major categories… Funny how when people claim they’re just dedicating their attention to queer artists she still doesn’t get mentioned despite openly and blatantly stating that she’s bisexual and loves women… Funny how *I am immediately shot by a white queer tumblr user with suppressed anti-black sentiments as they sob into an open mic about how it’s totally not because Doechii’s a black woman and she actually just hasn’t accomplished as much as her other peers this year… somehow*
#I know we’ve all talked about this but. fuck you I will never stop talking about doechii#im so sorry my queen I will lead them back to the right path#doechii#grammys#chappell roan#billie eilish#sabrina carpenter#<- tagging them because their fans all need to see more posts like this. sorry gang call it exposure therapy
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siff mental health decline speed run GO!!!
under is the meme template so you goobers can use if you want
tada!!!! feel free to use and abuse this as much as you want
you have @wolfepack72707 to blame for this
#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#fanart#meme#isat memes#isat shitpost#dont you love it when the looper perishes?#me too#loop in dismay and disrepair#sillies!!!!#they all need therapy so bad
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I wanted to do this meme since I saw the S2 of Earthspark, but I had the inspiration after complaining about It with @sketchy-mf . so:
(ok time to going back to Ao3 reading Fanfiction pretending they're canon in my mind 🙂)
#transformers#starscream#transformers earthspark#miguel o'hara#but it is Hasbro#Starscream and Knockout amica endura is canon in my head ... 🥲#canon event#starscream fanart#earthspark starscream#starscream your canon event is shit I sm so sorry#tfp knockout#this is bullshit#I was delulu#transformers hashtag#ao3 my beloved#tfe starscream#Starscream meme#Hasbro I tell you ma boi Starscream need therapy#he need also his husband Skyfire but I have fear now how they made all npc#still delulu#my art#I can hear Miguel theme#maccadam#I'm putting more effort into these tags than the actual drawing
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Sometimes the doomed old man toxic yoai gets so bad you just have to start writing about fucking revenge guac to get over the pain.
#sonic movie 3#sonic 3#sonic the hedgehog#slight spoilers#stobotnik#I've never seen such fucking YEARN in a man before like PICK IT UP bro your obsession is so obvious#I've never felt so.. like this about an end of a relationship before i swear to god if Stone disappears after this I'll riot#I need him causing destruction in Robotniks name but before that I'm going to cope with him being a yearny little shit snd Shadow being edgy#Genuinely it's going to be 1K words of Shadow thinking 'Maria would've loved guacamole..' or something like that because i refuse to be sad#I'm not coping.. everyone lives nobody dies stobotnik ISN'T DEAD NOW WHAT DO YOU MEAN#the sonic movie team is paying for all of my bills not just the therapy ones because FUCK THIS#i loved the movie though it's so good gaia please never stop the peak it's so peak holy shit#OH GOD I JUST REMEMBERED METAL SONIC WON'T HAVE HIS DAD WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE#I'm NOT going to be okay coming into the third movie how could you have taken the father son bonding AWAY FROM ME
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Me when my dad is presumed dead and my entire assets and family fortunes are seized and I find out I have no birth records and legally don't exist </3
#HA I TRICKED YOU FOOLS YOU THOUGHT ALL THAT CUTE SARI ART WAS SINCERE /j#yes... it was all part of my master plan....#rubbing my hands together evily...#anyways#SARI SUMDAC YOU WENT THOUGH TOO MUCH OH THE PAIN OF BEING A GIRL#she went through all that shit in season 2 she needs to be IN THERAPY#Powell when I fucking get you when I get you Powell grrgrgrgrrr#transformers#transformers animated#sari sumdac#tfa prowl#art#digital art#fan art
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bruce wayne they could never make me hate you. they could also never make me like you either. good god you are fucked up
#bruce wayne when I find you im going to beat you#and also wrap you tightly in the fluffiest blankets#fuck you freak (please get help people care about you)#this also counts for his family…you all need some distance from each other and therapy#so so much therapy#batman#dc comics#bruce wayne#batfam#dc robin#jason todd#cassandra cain#damian wayne#dick grayson#duke thomas#stephanie brown#kate kane#helena bertinelli#im not even gonna tag the rest of his huge fucking family bro#there’s just too many
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Vol 3 Jack really went though it huh
#he really did tho that last part man.... i would say you need therapy but your last therapist sucked#Jack needs a vacation#well he got one- they all got one but we all know how that went huh#these characters really can not catch a break#oh also jerry is there but im not tagging him#tales from the gas station#art#artwork#fanart#tftgs fanart#tftgs jack#he did not lie when he said he looks younger when his hair grows out- i remember that#do i tag Ricardo? idk no ones gonna get that unless theyve read the books i doubt its a tag#illustration#tftgs vol3#jack townsend#dont ask why im posting this so late my time
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more krew scribbles: therapy edition
#kremy FULLY believes himself to be the only sane person in the party#gricko is going in to be a contrarian and prove frost that he doesn’t need therapy#he walks out with seven new diagnoses#twig gets in the office and immediately goes on a tangent rambling for said 3 hours and occasionally / unintentionally traumadumping#all that to answer “how are you?”#torbek walks in and the therapist becomes the flash#once upon a witchlight#kremy lecroux#legends of avantris#gideon coal#gricko grimgrin#torbek#twig toadspring#morning frost
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Steph's Year of Recovery
So! Danny noticed that a new face had made it's way into town. Two new faces actually, an older lady known as Dr Leslie, and a girl about his age called Steph.
He first met them when he was at the hospital for one of his parents. They had stood too close to an explosion again, and he met them while he was in the waiting Area.
Dr Leslie was a strict but obviously caring older woman, who seemed to be the one taking care of Steph as a kind of maternal figure, or maybe more like an Aunt. She greeted him simply and then walked away to talk with the Secretary, leaving him to talk to Steph.
Steph was a blond girl in a Wheelchair, and he could see bandages piking out of her clothes as he talked to her. She explained that she had been in an Accident a few weeks ago that left her wheelchair bound for a while, and that she had come to Amity for their surprisingly good Medical Centers.
He and Steph got along really well, and by the end of it he asked her for her Number so they could continue talking later. They stayed in touch, and when she was finally permitted to leave the Hospital, he introduced her to his friends. They all got along like a House on Fire, both figuratively and in one memorable case very literally (Vlad had pissed them off okay!)
Eventually Steph recovered enough that she moved from a Wheelchair to Crutches, and their shenanigans got even more chaotic (Vlad hadn't even pissed them off, this time was just for fun)
The only thing Danny could complain about was the fact that Steph was hiding something from them.
She said that she had been in an Accident a while ago, which was why they had come to Amity in the first place. But Danny knew it was more than that.
He could sense lingering traces of Death coming from her after all.
...
Steph honestly loved her current life.
Sure she had lost everything, her home, her health, her friends, her life, but she had gained new things too! Like Danny and the Gang! They were honestly some of the best friends she had ever had, and for some reason they just clicked with her instantly.
Danny was interesting and funny, Sam was vegan and a badass, Tucker was smart and witty, they all fit with her personality perfectly! It almost felt like she bad been friends with them for years. (She ignored the way her heart skipped a beat when she saw them)
But she still couldn't shake the sense that they were hiding something from her.
She knew it had something to do with the Ghost Problem in the town. And wasn't that a kicker, there was a whole Supernatural Ghost Outbreak in this Town and nobody knew about it. Dr Leslie had said that Amity was off the map enough to hide from Bruce, but she hadn't mentioned it was hidden from the Justice League itself!
Danny, Sam, and Tucker definitely knew more about it than they let on however. Whenever a Ghost Attack would happen, at least one of them would rush off with some practiced excuse and return after the Ghost Attack was over all dirty. She could guess what was going on, and she really didn't like it.
(This had killed her, she had died doing what they were doing, she didn't want to lose them)
Eventually she had to confront them, coincidentally on the same day they decided to confront her.
"Are you Vigilantes?" / "Did you die?"
"..."
"What?" / "What?"
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Stephanie Brown#Stephanie Browns Death#Steph actually did die to Black Mask#Dr Leslie didn't manage to save her but did manage to bring her back#How she did it is up to you#But because if that Steph needs Physical Therapy and Treatments only found in Amity#Amity is also secluded enough that Batman won't find them there#Steph knows she died but is willfully ignoring it to the point of almost repressing it#Especially because she doesn't know how she came back to life#She doesn't like that her brand new friends are also Vigilantes because being a Vigilante is what got her killed#She doesn't want them to die like she die#She doesn't want to lose her new friends#Trauma#Steph is Traumatized#Also all of them are 17 in this#Stephs age when she died is very vague but 17 is the most reliable middle ground#So the Trio has been Vigilantes for 3 years now#They know what they are doing and have a system so they can share the workload#Sam and Tucker still have their powers#So they can help Danny with the workload#Idk if Steph would develop Powers from the Treatment or her Resurrection but I kind of like the idea#Also yes this is Poly Eternal Trio + Steph cause she deserves happiness#I NEED more Steph Ships cause she deserves more attention
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(I demand silly goofy time)
*Glitch appeared next to Aarav, slowly lifting uo the cat with a small smile*
I has cat.
*The cat just starts screaming and "MRAAAOOOWWW"-ing. Glitch puts them down and lifts up Aarav, twirling and kissing his cheek*
Hello, my love.. did you sleep well last night?
*Totally not a reference to the last rp*
- @glitchyanon
*he flinches at the screaming cat and covers his ears before giggling at being picked up*
I slept well, why?
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i was listening to imprisoned xii and it makes me ache and feel so sick fr my heart is broken 😭 uika put all her most intimate, unspeakable, forbidden feelings in those lyrics and she was about to delete them when nyamu quite literally outed her to the rest of the band by sending them. when she and nyamu went to sakiko’s place and nyamu told saki those lyrics are about her, uika looked away, and the only thing she could tell sakiko when they were left alone was “please don’t hate me.” and then sakiko went and reformed the band basically using wedding vows to tie the 5 of them together and wrote such a heart wrenching melody for uika’s lyrics so uika finally feels happy and accepted by the one she loves the most. who has ignored her for months and abandoned her with not so much as a small note she left on her kitchen table. she read her lyrics and understood her. bc that’s why she reformed the band and gave music to her feelings of desperate love and possession, right?? saki must have seen all that uika considers ugly, unsightly, sinful, shameful, and has accepted it all with love. so now of course uika feels like she can tell saki out loud “i’ll give my life to you” and “please move back in with me”. and she has no idea that saki has not accepted her out of love, but out of obligation and regret and guilt. she was the one who asked the other members to give her their lives and then gave up when mutsumi went dormant. she asked uika for her life knowing that uika loves her. she has ignored her for months. and she’s in pain. and nyamu is calling her out and umiri wants to reform and mutsumi is gone again and mortis wants ave mujica. what choice does saki have? she looks at tomori’s heartfelt messages on the post its she saved. and then writes lyrics for uika’s song. she looks at crychic with love and fondness, and at ave mujica and uika with what i’d say almost looks like resentment. she’s dead inside. life keeps being so cruel to her. she just keeps on losing everything, and her forming ave mujica has ultimately ended in more suffering for everyone. she feels guilty about mutsumi and mortis, about nyamu, about umiri, and about uika. she’s just a rich girl playing band and making messes for her abusive and controlling family to clean up, while her father succumbs to alcohol away from her. sakiko has given up on happiness. and she knows exactly what uika meant in those lyrics. and she recognises her responsibility, and feels chained, guilty. during the performance, uika looks to her hoping that sakiko will gaze back at her and acknowledge her. she does not. only looking at her with a furrowed brow when uika is not looking. i feel so sick. this is the evilest miscommunication. i feel for uika so much. she was forced to show her most intimate and vulnerable self whom she hates and hides in shame, just to be given the hope that she was fully and wholly accepted by the one for who these feelings run so deep. when that is not the case, not really.
#to me this is scarier and more fucked up than a psychological horror fr#this is the evillest thing a writer can do to a character like uika are you fr im literally crying#all these girls need therapy let’s start an idol group and raise money for therapy for the avemuji girls pls#uisaki#uika misumi#sakiko togawa#ave mujica#nyamu yuutenji#umiri yahata#bandori#mutsumi wakaba#mortis ave mujica#avemuji#bang dream#mine
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Jean: "Please. PLEASE can you consider therapy"
Kaeya, who's about to throw himself into another mission that no one else knows about with so many backup plans to not jeopardize Mondstadt's safety but none that ensures his own : "No??"
#kaeya#kaeya alberich#genshin impact#genshin#jean genshin#jean kaeya#genshin jean#jean gunnhildr#i just KNOW that Jean gets a mission report from Kaeya and her eyes bulges#“you did WHAT. YOU COULD'VE DONE THIS SO MUCH SIMPLER??”-Jean#“But then it wouldn'tve been funny (he wouldn't have gotten info for the next mission he's going on that Jean STILL dont know abt) -Kaeya#Kaeya “Im a slacker” Alberich#who cleaned up the stormterror incident#and helped jean weed out eroch#and spends down time at the tavern to get infomation#or drink himself stupid#either way it's highly unhealthy#drink to forget vs work non stop to forget#jean needs therapy too#just not in the way kaeya does#Jean needs to balance out her work life balance and talk to her sibling#Kaeya needs to reavaluate his entire life and decisions that he has made since he was 7#and whether or not he's willing to sacrifice the truth for his happiness#cherish the ones he loves or honour the responsibility that was placed on him#AND talk to his sibling#actually Jean needs some self worth talk too#all of the Mondstadt trio needs that
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Headcannon: controlling jimmy like your evil little dog. Is he lowkey a psychopath? Yes. Will he do literally anything for you? Also yes
a/n: To the lovely anon who sent this, mwah, chef's kiss🤌🏻 you’ve unleashed something unholy. be warned tho, this entire thing? no thoughts, no logic, just pure, unfiltered degeneracy for our co-pilot (sometimes you just gotta let the intrusive thoughts write the headcanon, y’know?)
So enjoy the ride—you sicko. (cause girl, same.)
Jimmy x Reader

Jimmy Zane is one peculiar man, and somehow, he became your boyfriend. How'd that happen? You better blame your slasher-film obsession as a kid.
Your Human Guard Dog
The man acts like you're gonna get snatched from him 24/7. Imagine being in public with him. Scaring some, unnerving many.
Some guy accidentally brushes past you, and Jimmy’s already stepping up with a cold smirk
“Apologize. Or don't. Been looking for an excuse today.”
You have to grab and drag him away (not helping that the man's built like log) before he ruins a face for the second time this month. “Baby, please, we’re here for snacks.”
But the moment you give him a subtle signal, tho? Oh, it's game over.
Some creep starts chatting you up with a repulsive smile, and Jimmy doesn’t even raise his voice when he appears behind you. Just leans in, looking them dead in the eye:
“You wanna keep those teeth or should I start counting them out.”
You casually mentioned being annoyed at your co-worker for being too yappy and Jimmy?
Yeah, already halfway out the door
“Say no more, princess.”
Physically stopping him was impossible and you wagered with the pervert, all night letting off his steam through you
Your Unhinged Yes-Man
After the restaurant's reception was rude on your friends' night out. You texted him
“Ugh, I’d love to see this place burn to the ground.”
No replies from him, but 5 minutes later, you nearly drenched your friends with the wine you're drinking when you saw him outside, holding a can of gasoline
One time, you complained about someone’s annoying laugh. Jimmy didn’t say anything, just calmly glanced your way with that familiar glint in his eyes.
“Don’t even think about it,”
“What? I didn’t say anything, love.”
Later that night, he casually asked
“How much do you hate that laugh? Want me to rip their throat out? No more ha-ha’s ever again.”
“STOP TRYING TO SOLVE EVERYTHING WITH VIOLENCE!”
The man's pride was more hurt than his face when the pillow landed, you paid for it tho ;)
Your Deranged Liaison
Want something without spending a dime? You can get it by the magic effect of compliments!
"Oh, I love your jacket!" Boom, appeared in your closet the next day, suspiciously smelling like someone else’s perfume
"That scarf’s so cute!" Already folded on your pillow the week after, and you’re 90% sure you saw a TikTok about it missing
“Jimmy, why is there a name tag stitched into this shirt?”
“Souvenirs are better with backstories.”
"Is-- is this blood?"
You finally confront Jimmy: “Isn’t this… someone else’s?”
He just shrugs, smiling sweetly (unnervingly wide) “Not anymore.”
#we all need therapy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing wrong organ#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing game#wrong organ#jimmy#mouthwash#mouthwashing fandom#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing jimmy x reader#jimmy x reader#jimmy x you#mouthwashing jimmy x you#mouthwashing x you#mouthwashing headcanon
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