#he walks out with seven new diagnoses

[jadecantcreate]

more krew scribbles: therapy edition

[book--brackets]

Summaries under the cut

Gallagher Girls by Ally Carter

Cammie Morgan is a student at the Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women, a fairly typical all-girls school—that is, if every school taught advanced martial arts in PE and the latest in chemical warfare in science, and students received extra credit for breaking CIA codes in computer class. The Gallagher Academy might claim to be a school for geniuses, but it's really a school for spies. Even though Cammie is fluent in fourteen languages and capable of killing a man in seven different ways, she has no idea what to do when she meets an ordinary boy who thinks she's an ordinary girl. Sure, she can tap his phone, hack into his computer, or track him through town with the skill of a real "pavement artist"—but can she maneuver a relationship with someone who can never know the truth about her?

Fablehaven by Brandon Mull

Trespassers will be turned to stone

For centuries, mystical creatures of all description were gathered to a hidden refuge called Fablehaven to prevent their extinction. The sanctuary is one of the last strongholds of true magic. Enchanting? Absolutely. Exciting? You bet. Safe? Well, actually, quite the opposite . . .

Kendra and her brother, Seth, have no idea their grandfather is the current caretaker of Fablehaven. Inside the gated woods, ancient laws keep order among greedy trolls, mischievous satyrs, plotting witches, spiteful imps, and jealous fairies. However, when the rules get broken, powerful forces of evil are unleashed, forcing Kendra and Seth to face the greatest challenge of their lives, to save their family, Fablehaven, and perhaps even the world.

The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel by Michael Scott

Nicholas Flamel was born in Paris on 28 September 1330. Nearly seven hundred years later, he is acknowledged as the greatest Alchemyst of his day. It is said that he discovered the secret of eternal life. The records show that he died in 1418. But his tomb is empty and Nicholas Flamel lives. The secret of eternal life is hidden within the book he protects—the Book of Abraham the Mage. It's the most powerful book that has ever existed. In the wrong hands, it will destroy the world. And that's exactly what Dr. John Dee plans to do when he steals it. Humankind won't know what's happening until it's too late. And if the prophecy is right, Sophie and Josh Newman are the only ones with the power to save the world as we know it. Sometimes legends are true. And Sophie and Josh Newman are about to find themselves in the middle of the greatest legend of all time.

Out of My Mind by Shannon Draper

Melody is not like most people. She cannot walk or talk, but she has a photographic memory; she can remember every detail of everything she has ever experienced. She is smarter than most of the adults who try to diagnose her and smarter than her classmates in her integrated classroom - the very same classmates who dismiss her as mentally challenged because she cannot tell them otherwise. But Melody refuses to be defined by cerebral palsy. And she's determined to let everyone know it - somehow.

The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare

Orphaned Kit Tyler knows, as she gazes for the first time at the cold, bleak shores of Connecticut Colony, that her new home will never be like the shimmering Caribbean island she left behind. In her relatives' stern Puritan community, she feels like a tropical bird that has flown to the wrong part of the world, a bird that is now caged and lonely. The only place where Kit feels completely free is in the meadows, where she enjoys the company of the old Quaker woman known as the Witch of Blackbird Pond, and on occasion, her young sailor friend Nat. But when Kit's friendship with the "witch" is discovered, Kit is faced with suspicion, fear, and anger. She herself is accused of witchcraft!

Books of Bayern by Shannon Hale

She was born with her eyes closed and a word on her tongue, a word she could not taste.

Her name was Anidori-Kiladra Talianna Isilee, Crown Princess of Kildenree, and she spent the first years of her life listening to her aunt’s stories and learning the language of the birds, especially the swans. And when she was older, she watched as a colt was born, and she heard the first word on his tongue, his name, Falada.

From the Grimm’s fairy tale of the princess who became a goose girl before she could become queen, Shannon Hale has woven an incredible, original, and magical tale of a girl who must find her own unusual talents before she can lead the people she has made her own.

Fudge by Judy Blume

Life with his little brother, Fudge, makes Peter Hatcher feel like a fourth grade nothing. Whether Fudge is throwing a temper tantrum in a shoe store, smearing mashed potatoes on the walls at Hamburger Heaven, or trying to fly, he's never far from trouble. He's an almost three-year-old terror who gets away with everything, and Peter's had it up to here! When Fudge walks off with Dribble, Peter's pet turtle, it's the last straw. Peter has put up with Fudge for too long. Way too long! How can he get his parents to pay attention to him for a change?

Bartimaeus by Jonathan Stroud

Nathaniel is a boy magician-in-training, sold to the government by his birth parents at the age of five and sent to live as an apprentice to a master. Powerful magicians rule Britain, and its empire, and Nathaniel is told his is the "ultimate sacrifice" for a "noble destiny."

If leaving his parents and erasing his past life isn't tough enough, Nathaniel's master, Arthur Underwood, is a cold, condescending, and cruel middle-ranking magician in the Ministry of Internal Affairs. The boy's only saving grace is the master's wife, Martha Underwood, who shows him genuine affection that he rewards with fierce devotion. Nathaniel gets along tolerably well over the years in the Underwood household until the summer before his eleventh birthday. Everything changes when he is publicly humiliated by the ruthless magician Simon Lovelace and betrayed by his cowardly master who does not defend him.

Nathaniel vows revenge. In a Faustian fever, he devours magical texts and hones his magic skills, all the while trying to appear subservient to his master. When he musters the strength to summon the 5,000-year-old djinni Bartimaeus to avenge Lovelace by stealing the powerful Amulet of Samarkand, the boy magician plunges into a situation more dangerous and deadly than anything he could ever imagine.

Shadow Children by Margaret Peterson Haddix

Luke has never been to school. He's never had a birthday party, or gone to a friend's house for an overnight. In fact, Luke has never had a friend.

Luke is one of the shadow children, a third child forbidden by the Population Police. He's lived his entire life in hiding, and now, with a new housing development replacing the woods next to his family's farm, he is no longer even allowed to go outside.

Then, one day Luke sees a girl's face in the window of a house where he knows two other children already live. Finally, he's met a shadow child like himself. Jen is willing to risk everything to come out of the shadows - does Luke dare to become involved in her dangerous plan? Can he afford not to?

Princess Academy by Shannon Hale

Miri lives on a mountain where, for generations, her ancestors have quarried stone and lived a simple life. Then word comes that the king's priests have divined her small village the home of the future princess. In a year's time, the prince himself will come and choose his bride from among the girls of the village. The king's ministers set up an academy on the mountain, and every teenage girl must attend and learn how to become a princess.

Miri soon finds herself confronted with a harsh academy mistress, bitter competition among the girls, and her own conflicting desires to be chosen and win the heart of her childhood best friend. But when bandits seek out the academy to kidnap the future princess, Miri must rally the girls together and use a power unique to the mountain dwellers to save herself and her classmates.

[jetblack4realz]

lake days iv - jake "hangman" seresin x reader

summary - jake is a regular in your household (collection of cute jake moments basically)

warnings - just a very domestic relationship with a lack of a ring which makes you want to scream

word count - 3.4k

pt i , pt ii , pt iii , pt v

______________________________________________________________

as your relationship continued, jake realized very quickly that the worst part of your weekends off was going back to sleep at base. and then waiting around for the better part of the morning before heading to your house to work on the truck you'd just recently bought because you'd been called in to tutor some new pilots or review prep work for an upcoming mission that he'd spent all night finishing.

soon enough, you found yourself coming home to jake over the hood of the truck in your driveway, tools from barrett's garage scattered around as he tirelessly tried to diagnose the issue with the engine.

he walked back into the house for the sixth time that day, grabbing a cup of water and chugging it quickly. "you alright, jake?"

"fine," he answered quickly. "do you have any floodlights?"

you glanced outside, watching the sun set slowly behind the pine trees surrounding your home. "you're not gonna keep working, are you? have you even eaten anything?"

"i've helped myself to a few snacks, but i wanted to figure this thing out before the end of the day," he answered. "i changed the oil and tried to bleed the brakes, but i think something's clogging 'em. i'mma go figure out which-"

"jake, let's just get some take out and rest," you told him, approaching him with a few slick steps. you rested your arms around his torso as you smiled. "why don't you stay the night? you seem tired and i don't want you driving back all by yourself."

"i'll be fine," he insisted.

"okay, let me rephrase: i want you to stay over tonight. will you please?" you asked sweetly, looking up at him with a soft smile. he grinned, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

"well, sure baby," he said. "anything for you. let me just clean up my things, return the tools to barrett, and then we'll get some food. deal?"

"deal," you nodded.

when you woke up the next morning, you didn't think it would be to your mother calling you. you checked the time with a groan, pulling jake's arm off of your torso as you scooted to the edge of the bed - seven thirty in the morning. you raised your phone to your ear after pressing the little green phone icon.

"what's up, mom?" you asked, your eyes still shut as you waited for a response.

"are you coming to church today?" she asked through the phone.

"what?"

"church, honey. you coming?"

"what time?"

"same as always, 2 o'clock. we've got dinner afterwards too. maybe jake can come! or is he working?"

"no, not today. he's over right now actually."

it was like he knew you were talking about him, reaching over to you with one eye peeked open. you grabbed his hand with a small smile, squeezing it gently.

"bring him to church. he's a church man, ain't he?"

"well, he is from texas, ma." your laugh was tired, but genuine, and it made jake smile as he scooted closer to you.

"bring him. and bring him to dinner after. finn here is dying to see him again."

"you have finn over at yours?"

"he usually runs over here for breakfast. dad buys the sugary cereal brynlee refuses to."

"hmm, sounds like finn."

"i'll see you later, honey. bye-bye, i love you."

"love you too, ma, bye."

you dropped your phone on your nightstand, immediately rolling back into bed and into jake's awaiting arms. you sighed contentedly as he pulled you close, lips to your forehead before settling you against his chest again.

"we going to church?"

"yup."

"i don't have anything to wear."

"call logan."

so, after you two woke up again, at nine this time, he did. finn was all too happy to run a gray polo over to your place, immediately thrusting it into jake's arms and situating himself in your pantry, searching for goodies.

"finn, get out of there," you laughed. "grandma told me all about your cereal run to their house this morning."

"aw man!" he cried, stomping over to where you were laid on the couch and plopping next to you. you pulled him into your side, messing up his hair. "stop!"

"let's watch cars," you said, flicking on your tv and clicking through your streaming services until you found said movie. you knew how obsessed he was with it, and so you were equally surprised when he stopped you.

"let's watch planes," he said. "it's like cars, but planes."

"i don't think i've seen that before," you hummed, but it was in the suggested section below cars, so you clicked on it.

"i love this movie," he told you.

"is it because your cool aunt y/n flies planes?" you teased.

"no, it's because i do," jake said, reentering the room in logan's polo and a clean pair of dark wash jeans. you smiled at him, being obvious as you checked him out, though finn couldn't tell from in front of you.

"well," finn said, dragging the word out for effect. "i mean..."

"no way!" you exclaimed, sitting up quickly and beginning to tickle the boy's sides as he shrieked with laughter. "i'm supposed to be your favorite! i was there when you were born!"

"doesn't make you cooler, y/n," jake said in a sing-songy tone, laughing as finn pushed your hands off to run to him. jake caught him quickly, pulling him up into his arms before throwing him back against the couch. finn sat up quickly, running back to the aviator but jake just leaned over and snatched him up by the legs, holding him upside down.

finn laughed again as jake brought him over to you, carefully laying him across your lap as you tickled his stomach again. "you're so mean to me, finn."

"i'm sorry!" he laughed, pushing your hands away. "you're my favorite!"

"ha! knew it," you said, relinquishing your hold on the child with a smug smile. jake rolled his eyes, scoffing a slight laugh as he joined your side.

"whatever, y/n."

you sent finn back to his family to get him ready for church after the movie wrapped up and you went upstairs to find a dress you thought was suitable for church. you landed on a comfy, ruffly floral midi dress that was ruched at the top with elastic thread to give you some shape. it even had pockets.

you took to the bathroom, pulling out your makeup bag as you turned on some old worship songs you listened to in highschool, appreciating the sense of nostalgia that washed over you. also pulling out your curling iron, you turned it on and began humming to yourself as you wiped some moisturizer onto your cheeks.

you did most of your makeup, only leaving your lashes out as you curled your hair the way you liked it. you were so used to keeping your hair in tight buns that it was so gratifying to be able to style your hair in a cute way - even if you knew it was just going to be back in a bun the next day. you turned off the iron, unplugging it now so you wouldn't freak out later.

"it is well, it is well... with my soul," you sang quietly, curling your lashes as jake walked into the doorway, leaning against it with a small smile. "what?"

"nothing, you're just cute," he said, coming behind you to wrap his arms around you as you continued your makeup routine.

"so are you," you told him with a smile.

"we gotta leave soon. you almost ready?" he asked, kissing your temple.

"just finished," you answered, turning around in his arms to smile at him. "you wanna drive?"

"if it means we don't drive the subaru, then of course," he said, taking your hand and dragging you out, turning off the lights as he went. "let's do this thing!"

"i haven't really been to church much since my first deployment," you told him as you drove to the small building about fifteen minutes away. "just the few times now that i'm back."

"i miss it," he told you, glancing at you with a small smile. "i hated it as a kid, but now i realize that it was actually fun. got to be with my friends and family in a peaceful environment."

you nodded. "i get what you mean. my mom always tried to keep us so involved with coloring pages and small snacks. my grandpa was the preacher, so that helped a bit, but i really just liked coloring."

and when you sat with your family, your two month old new little niece called ella who alice and barrett had been more than happy to let you hold perched on your lap, you realized that your mom still had the same habits.

jake happily accepted a coloring page from everleigh, helping her draw on it over a notebook on his knee. the red crayon he held carefully colored in the sash on Jesus' robe, everleigh scribbling over his hair with the brown.

"looks great, honey," you whispered to him with a smile.

he winked at you, grinning and whispering back, "i'm an excellent crayon artist."

after church, you all returned to your houses to change into comfy clothes and then headed to your parents' house. you and jake elected to walk the ten minutes to their house instead of drive and you took the opportunity to slap his butt as he locked up and you skipped down the driveway.

he laughed loudly, following after you and wrapping his arms around you from behind, keeping you from moving forward. "what was that for?"

"you just look good in your sweats, babe," you told him, turning around and matching his grin before pressing your lips to his.

"you look good in yours too," he hummed against your mouth, pulling away for a moment to just go back in for a shorter, sweet kiss. you laughed, grabbing his hand and stepping backwards.

"come on, mom's got a roast in the crockpot."

family dinner was always really fun for you and was always incredibly special to jake. he appreciated being included and feeling like he was a part of your family - because he really did. he could feel that they all loved him, and he loved them too. he loved being around your brothers and dad the most, though. having grown up with only sisters he craved the camaraderie of brotherhood, something he'd only found on the football team and hoped to get more of in the navy, but only finding it in a few other aviators - namely javi "coyote" lopez and johnny "cash" richards who you spent many nights in the bar and days on the beach with back in hawaii.

and your brothers loved him too.

"i challenge you to a game of speed," logan said to jake as you all finished up your ice cream and brownies. jake grinned.

"game on."

it was intense, but after five rounds, jake had him beat at cards. logan was dramatic as he sighed and traded places with darren, letting the younger boy have a go at beating jake.

but he didn't. and neither did josh. or barrett. or your dad. or kyrie, your mom, alice, or you.

but, brynlee had game, and you all knew it. they tied twice, and as the fifth round carried on, you all watched intensely. jake was quickly running out of cards as brynlee tried to jump into his run, but to no avail. and then suddenly, they were both stuck.

"can't keep going?" you asked. they each had two cards left. they nodded, eying their cards as they grabbed a new card from the side decks. "ready, go!"

it was a 6 and a 3.

brynlee placed a 7 just as jake placed a 2, then jake quickly slapped his 8 on top of her 7 and cheered in victory.

"oh come on!" she exclaimed, sitting back with a frown as her husband high-fived your boyfriend.

"i'm never challenging you to speed again," logan laughed.

you all started to gather your things, wishing your parents a farewell as you all went to your respective vehicles, or in your and jake's case, began to walk. you had your hand clasped in his as you walked down the road, finn yelling "bye!" through the window as they drove by.

"i don't wanna go to work tomorrow," you groaned, leaning into him as your hand dropped from the wave you sent to the five year old.

"me neither," jake sighed. he squeezed your hand. "we've got a debriefing for wednesday's mission. we gotta pre-run it tuesday."

"no, they moved it to tomorrow. and they switched out bambi for fritz."

"why?"

"bambi freaked yesterday while i was over with the new guys. came back from a run all frazzled, quit on the spot."

"what happened?"

"i don't know. cash said they were out on a routine flight when they came across some cuban bogies. freaked out bambi i guess."

"so, we've got fritz?"

"unfortunately," you groaned. "luckily cash is my backseater. wish i had coyote though."

"wish you were my wingman and not stuck with the wso's," he told you.

"i'm still your wingman, just a wingman with an extra mission," you answered.

"if anything i'm your wingman. can't really lock in our targets without cash guiding us in."

"true that."

you walked in silence the rest of the way, you swinging your hands slightly and making jake smile. as soon as you were in the door, you were rushing upstairs to brush your teeth and pass out, knowing you were in for a long week starting the next morning. jake locked up behind you before following your lead.

next thing you know, he's collapsing next to you as you pulled the comforter up to you chin and turning over to snuggle against his chest. you laced a leg in between his, your arm splayed over his torso as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

"this is comfy," he mumbled softly.

"i'mma sleep so well," you hummed, smiling up at him with evident drowsiness in your eyes.

"good. we're gonna need it."

after a very long week and successful, short mission, you were finally back home.

"hey honey," you mumbled, kissing the side of his head as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders from behind. he was sitting criss-cross on the driveway working on switching the crank window of your new old truck to an automatic. he'd completely dissembled the door and was feeding the wiring to the switch he'd installed before you came out. "how's it going?"

"surprisingly well," he answered, turning to give you a quick kiss before returning to his work. "i haven't had a smooth install of these things, well, ever."

"well, i'm glad it's going good," you said, smiling softly. after twisting the wire ends together and slipping a boot over them, he turned to you with slightly knitted brows.

"you need something, darlin'?" he asked. you lowered yourself to the floor next to him, playing with the tools at your feet as he tested the window, it going up and down just as it needed to.

"no, just missed you," you hummed.

"i thought you had to go help curly with the trainees?" he asked, furrowing his brows as he glanced at you again.

"that's where i was this morning, but i'm all done now and i wanna be with you," you said. "you're out here every free second you got."

"i wanna get this finished as soon as possible, baby," he told you, attention back on the window workings. he reached for a screwdriver that you grabbed for him, beginning to return the plastic pieces of the door to their rightful places.

"i know and i appreciate that. i was just wondering if there's anything i could do to help?" you asked, looking to him hopefully.

"well, i'm just about done with this window and then i'll be workin' on the engine," he answered. "it's kind of a one person job, but i'd be happy for some company and a dj."

"i can do that," you said with a grin, pulling your phone out and pressing shuffle on your country playlist titled texas that consisted of mostly luke combs, tim mcgraw, morgan wallen, and dolly parton. "is it the transmission? are we gonna have to replace it?"

"well, after checking it out this morning i don't think so. i think the guy who had it before was just looking at the wrong things - the catalytic converter is clogged and i might replace the spark plugs just for the hell of it to try to keep from replacing or even just rebuilding the whole thing."

"that's good, right? makes things easier."

"a hell of a lot easier."

"and the burning smell when we drove it?"

"i took it over to your dad's to ask about that and he said there's an oil leak. all he did was tighten the drain plug and it's not leaking anymore."

"you went to my dad's?" you asked, smiling slightly as you watched him finish up screwing the door panel in.

"needed some help diagnosing everything. was thinking about bringing it back over when it comes to unclogging the converter - i ain't ever done that before," he said with a shrug. then he looked at you a little more intently, the screwdriver in his hand halting for a moment. "is that okay? do you not want me going to your dad's without you?"

"no, i don't mind at all. i actually like it, that you're comfortable with my family," you told him. he grinned, leaning to kiss you gently on the lips before screwing in the last two screws.

"baby, i think i'm more comfortable with your family than my own at this point," he answered.

you smiled, leaning into his shoulder as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "while i love that, maybe we should go out and visit your family? i'm sure they'd love to see you."

"ma would for sure, probably not dad," he said, his voice dropping a tone or two.

"why?"

"me and him got in a fight before i left for the academy - nearly ruined my family. have only really spoken to ma since," he answered, mind obviously recalling the events of that convoluted day.

"have you seen your ma since then?" you asked quietly.

"once, at graduation. but, that was three years ago and i've been all over since then. they don't even know i'm back in texas."

you were surprised at how casually he was offering the information, but it looked like he didn't think it was that meaningful, like it was something he could just brush off like he had for the last seven years.

"how about we do what mom offered the first time you came over?" you asked with a smile. "what if we invite them over to our place? a big barbecue. then, it's not all on you and everyone can be out and about, no real awkwardness. we can pull out cornhole and the volleyball net - though it might be all ripped up now that i think about it. anyways, there'll be plenty to do."

"i mean, it's a better idea than me just showing up one day," he mumbled.

"do you have nieces and nephews?" you asked. he nodded.

"a few. don't really know 'em," he said.

"well, if my nieces and nephews are any indicator, then they'll love you," you told him. "and they can play around with the kids. it'll be so fun."

"i'm not sure."

"just think on it. we can wait until the weather gets warm again," you offered. "if we're even still stationed here by then."

"i hope so. i don't wanna leave this baby all by herself," he said, patting the side of the blue truck as you laughed. you kissed his cheek.

"she sure would be lonely without you, babe."

[scotianostra]

Happy 92nd Birthday veteran Scottish actress Phyllida Law, born on May *8th 1932 in Glasgow.

Wiki has 8th July on the first line of their page on Phyllida, but on the side panel has May 8th, so who knows!?

There is very little about her early life except she was born in Glasgow, the daughter of Megsie “Meg” and William Law, a journalist. She said once of he Glasgow upbringing “When you grow up in Glasgow with a Glaswegian granny, you’re taught that pride is a wicked thing. I still feel a bit like that.“ Phyllida grew up in Glasgow’s west end, just off Great Western Road, but war broke out when she was just seven and she found herself evacuated to places such as Lenzie, in Dunbartonshire, and Skelmorlie, Ayrshire.

That gave her a love for the Scots countryside which means she now splits her life between her home in London and a family cottage in Argyll. Phyllida would fit in well with the Scottish & Proud ethos, in an interview she says:

“I’m passionate about my Scots heritage. How could I not be? I can’t live without it. There’s no way I could live without those hills and it’s got to be the west coast. “I sometimes travel to Edinburgh then go up to Pittenweem or somewhere and I think to myself, ‘This isn’t Scotland.’ It’s a wonderful coastline but it’s not Scotland for me.

“When my parents lived in Glasgow they were always looking for a cottage to which they could retire. They found one in Ardentinney, so I visit that a lot.

She joined the Bristol Old Vic in 1952, from what I can gather she was first in the wardrobe department, the first pic shows her standing, from a 1952 photo. Heron screen acting credits start in 1958 and are very extensive, the pick of them are Dixon of Dock Green and a stint as the storyteller in the great children’s show Jackanory in the 60’s. It must have been during her time in the BBC’s children’s TV department she met her husband to be The Magic Roundabout narrator Eric Thompson, She has previously stated that the character of Ermintrude the cow was modelled on her.

Angels in the 70’s and of course Taggart in the 80’s as well Thomson, the variety series hosted by actress Emma Thompson in 1988, Emma just happens to be her daughter. Heartbeat, Hamish Macbeth and Dangerfield in the 90’s, Waking the dead and Doctors in the noughties has kept her busy, now in her 86th year she has still been appearing on the small screen, in The Other Wife and New Tricks during the past 8 years. Film roles include She is known for her work on Much Ado About Nothing , The Time Machine and The Winter Guest.

Phyllida spends most of her time in Argyll in a house she shares with her daughter Emma. who is spending more time looking after her mother, as she was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in 2915.

Phyllida constantly needs the support of a wheelchair and even assistance when washing due to the effect the condition is having on her.

Due to the progressive nature of the condition, symptoms tend to gradually worsen over time. It is common for individuals to struggle both with walking and talking at the height of the condition.

Phyllida herself spoke about the burdens of looking after an infirm parent, she looked after her mother, Meg who suffered with Alzheimer’s disease. Mego died in 1994 aged 93 after almost 20 years of being cared for by Ms Law at her mother's home in the village of Ardentinny on the west coast, near Dunoon.

Emma said of her mother “Mum is quite lame so it's a case of taking her out in a wheelchair, and making sure she takes her medication. The meds are amazing."

[enby-andi]

I've reblogged a post from a star trek blog and I mentioned this episode of voyager but screw it I wanna talk about this episode because imo it's more fucked up than threshold.

SEASON 5, EPISODE 17: "Course: Oblivion"

The episode starts out really nice!!! There's a wedding going on in the mess hall!!! Tom and B'elanna are getting married!!! Chakotay walks her down the aisle!!! Seven catches the bouquet!!!

After that everything is Same as Always. They are trying something new with the engines. B'elanna is telling Seven what to do while she and Tom are on their honeymoon. She goes to their quarters and IMMEDIATELY gets sick (and not the fanfiction "Congratulations! :)" sick).

Tom finds her and takes her to sickbay. The doctor diagnoses her with cellular degradation due to radiation. The rest of the crew are trying to figure out why. Chakotay and Tuvok are trying to figure out why parts of the ship and replicated food are going bad and immediately disintegrating except for food Neelix has gotten from other stops on the route for the past six months.

And the B'ELANNA FUCKING DIES.

SHE FUCKING DIES WITH TOM CRYING HER NAME AND TELLING THE DOCTOR TO KEEP TRYING AND THE DOCTOR RESIGNEDLY STOPPING REVIVAL ACTIONS.

Tuvok and Chakotay go over all their travel logs and realize something. They go to sickbay where Tom is grieving his FRESHLY DEAD WIFE and tell the Doctor to inject her with a solution.

AND B'ELANNA TURNS INTO A PUDDLE OF MERCURY LOOKING LIQUID.

AS IT TURNS OUT, THIS ENTIRE CREW AND THE VOYAGER SHIP ARE DUPLICATES MADE OF THIS FLUID THAT HAVE ALL THE EXACT SAME MEMORIES AS THE ORIGINALS BUT FORGOT THEY WERE DUPLICATES.

And I'm sure you're asking: Andi, when could this have happened???? It happened in the episode "Demon" ONE WHOLE SEASON AGO IN 4X24. These biomimetic lifeforms (called Silver Blood) from a demon class planet duplicated the entire crew and the ship because they had never encountered human DNA before. Janeway let them because otherwise they couldn't have gotten the dilithium they needed safely.

SO THE ENTIRE CREW AND SHIP ARE DUPLICATES AND ARE SLOWLY DISENTEGRATING AND IT IS HORRIFYING. EVERYONE BEGINS TO LOOK LIKE A CRONENBERG EXTRA. PEOPLE ARE DYING. JC LITERALLY HAVE A MOMENT AND HE FUCKING DIES. JANEWAY GETS THEM OUT OF ONE LAST SPACE CONFRONTATION AND THEN SHE FUCKING DIES IN THE CAPTAIN'S CHAIR. HARRY KIM IS NOW THE CAPTAIN BUT DEAR GOD THE COST AND THE ONLY SENIOR STAFF LEFT ARE SEVEN ANS NEELIX.

After Chakotay dies, Janeway had ordered the crew to try to find the OG Voyager crew so that they can duplicate them again and get a few more months so they can find another demon class planet to survive on. Harry and Seven are pushing the ship to its limits. They can only use impulse, life support, and can barely send out a distress signal. A ship is approaching. Harry braces himself for a confrontation. Something in engineering explodes.

The Ship is the OG Voyager. They got the distress signal. They notice it's gone. They turn on the view screen -

The duplicate Voyager has completely disintegrated into the liquid. The OG Voyager is confused as hell as to what happened here, but make a note of it and move on.

What I found the most fucked up??? After this episode, the viewER HAS NO IDEA IF THE EPISODES BETWEEN "DEMON" AND "C:O" DETAILED THE EVENTS OF THE OG VOYAGER OR THE DUPLICATE ONE. IF IT WAS EVER MADE CLEAR PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I HAVE BEEN HAUNTED BY THIS EPISODE SINCE I WAS IN THE 5TH GRADE AND I NEED CLOSURE!!!!

AND!!!!! IT WAS SO FRUSTRATING BECAUSE THEY GOT SO CLOSE!!!! THEY ALMOST MADE IT!!!! BUT THEY WERE TOO LATE AND DIED!!!! ITS SO FUCKING TRAGIC 😭😭😭😭

[falsehound]

hey guys! long time no hear. i decided to take a break from tumblr because a lot of things happened to me irl and then to lucky.

we got a cat. her name is mitsie and she has no tail and she is the sweetest creature on earth.

we need to move house as early as january next year so my parents are looking for a place to live.

and last but not least, the worst news of all. Lucky got diagnosed with severe bilateral coxarthrosis. aside from that, some vertebral issued mean that he could paralyse from the waist down basically any day now. and to top it all off, his knee ligaments went bye bye so he needs to go into surgery tomorrow in order to just. walk. since he cannot do that anymore.

hes not allowed to go on long walks anymore. he cannot run or jump or climb up stairs. we had our last long walk after his coxarthrosis diagnosis last month, and since then its gotten progressively worse. but we enjoyed one last nice fall day in the sun together, in the park he grew to love.

hes going into knee surgery tomorrow. its the only surgery i am willing to try for him and the only one that will improve his qol instantly, i believe. if it doesnt work out, it will be time to say goodbye. the potential treatment and medication is too expensive and with no guarantees it will work. im using up all of my funds that i kept for moving out of the country. all of my post-college job earnings. its a repeat of what happened with my old dog.

diagnosis given at the same age, of barely Seven. he is only 7! my little darling boy. my other darling little boy was also just 7. they received the same prognosis. could be 1 week! could be 2 years! my vet friends doubt it can be more than that.

i love him to the moon and back. and i dont know what to do. and i dont know what to fucking do. im mourning and i havent even lost him yet. its unfair. its stupid. i want my little walk pal with me.

anyway. i would appreciate some good thoughts for him. im sorry for the long post and for my prolonged absence. not exactly riveting content to post nor a post i was looking forward to making. sorry.

[seducemefanficsandheadcanons]

Ending Unplanned

Warning for horny thoughts.

Cross posted on Ao3!

Chapter Seven- Bed Chem

How you pick me up pull 'em down turn me round oh it just makes sense

How you talk so sweet when you're doing bad things

That's bed chem

How you're looking at me, yea I know what that means, and

I'm obsessed

Are you free next week? I bet we'd have really good bed chem

Bed Chem- Sabrina Carpenter

A few days had gone by since Aron and Sam had finally started to form a comfortable friendship. After so long of hardly speaking, it was surprising to know that they could get along so well. She found herself enjoying their new playful dynamic.

The sky was bright and sunny, the air hot with a small occasional breeze. Aron and Melody were laying on lawn chairs, basking in the warmth of the sun after a few hours of swimming in the large in-ground pool. 

Melody’s curly hair was put up into a ponytail, water dripping from the strands. She was wearing a black bikini with white designs, a towel lazily draped over her legs as she hummed softly to the music playing from her phone.

Aron was wearing a peach-colored bikini, her purple hair left down as she laid beside her friend. She closed her eyes and sighed contently, enjoying the feeling of the sun on her face.

Laying in the sun gave her a feeling of nostalgia, the memories of her and her family playing in the pool or ocean causing a soft, happy smile to grace her lips. She may have had a lot of negative experiences with them, but she was grateful for the fond memories she’d collected with her siblings.

“I’ll be right back,” Melody told her, sitting up.

“Where are you going?” Aron asked, glancing over to her friend.

“Just getting some lemonade. You want some?”

Aron hummed. “Oooh! Yes please! Thanks, boo.”

“Of course!” Mel said back as she got up and wrapped the towel around herself before beginning to walk towards the mansion.

Aron closed her eyes again, her mind returning to the happy memories of her childhood. She was broken out of her thoughts by Erik’s voice. “Enjoying the sun, Princess?”

She perked up and looked back at him with a smile. “Mhm!”

“Good, I’m glad. You deserve a moment to relax,” he mused, sitting in the chair beside her. “I must say, you look stunning in your swimsuit.”

Aron felt her cheeks warm at the compliment, a soft laugh escaping her lips. “Thanks! I’ve had it for a while, but I had lost it until unpacking when I moved here.”

Soon, the sun on Aron’s face became a bit uncomfortable. She reached up and touched the skin, which was warm to the touch. “Hey Erik, can you hand me the sunscreen? It’s by your chair,” she told him as she sat up.

“Of course,” he said, handing her the yellow bottle.

She gave him a thankful smile and began applying the cold substance to her face, legs and arms, leaving a shine on her skin.

Aron's double jointed because of a connective tissue disorder she was diagnosed with as a teenager, so she knew she could reach her back pretty easily. However, she couldn't help but take up Eriks offer when he suggested that he take care of applying sunscreen to her back.

She turned so her back was facing him, moving her hair in front of her shoulders so it was out of the way. She sighed contently when Erik's hands smoothed over the planes of her back and shoulder blades, gently massaging the sunscreen in.

When Erik pulled his hands away, Aron turned and gave him a smile. “Thank you!”

“It’s my pleasure, Princess,” Erik said back.

“Are y’all ‘finna train soon?” she asked him curiously, remembering hearing Damien mention it that morning.

“Yes, that is the plan. We need to stay consistent with our training now, even without the risk of Diana and Malix.”

Aron nodded slowly. “Makes sense…doesn’t that mean y’all need enough energy too?”

He chuckled. “Yes, but we’ve gotten better at finding resources since settling to live here.”

Aron leaned in slightly. “That’s good to know. And obviously if you ever need any, I can just give you some of mine,” she offered, her hand brushing over his forearm.

Erik learned in as well, a smirk approaching his lips, but the two were interrupted the other incubi and Melody walking out of the mansion.

“Get a room,” Sam called out to the pair, crossing his arms with a look of annoyance.

Aron giggled, giving the incubus a challenging grin. “What, are you jealous?”

He huffed out a laugh, but his cheeks turned a little pink. “No! I just don’t wanna see you fucking my brother!”

She laughed incredulously, a blush invading her already slightly red face. Erik sighed in annoyance. “No one was ‘fucking,’ Sam. The lovely princess was just offering up some of her energy,” he countered, making her blush more.

Hiding how flustered she was, Aron leaned back in the lawn chair and closed her eyes with a small, amused smile on her face. She heard some more lighthearted bickering between the brothers before they all ventured away from the pool to begin their training.

Soon, Melody sat beside her with the lemonade. Aron grinned and thanked her friend, sipping her drink through the straw.

She could faintly hear the sound of the incubi’s training, and the magic being used caused a soft tingle in her fingertips. For a while, she resisted watching, not wanting to weird them out by staring. But when she finally glanced over, she couldn’t bring herself to look away.

Much to her own dismay, her eyes immediately landed on Sam. She absentmindedly noticed he seemed to be targeting Erik a bit more, but didn’t think about it too long as her mind went other places.

Obviously, she knew the man was absolutely ripped. Out of all of the brothers, he was the one she saw shirtless the most. It wasn’t because she’d paid more attention to him, but he just so happened to be the one that usually paraded around the mansion shirtless as if he owned the place…not like she was complaining.

However, now that she knew there was a possibility that he wasn’t completely vile, she noticed it more.

He’s an incubus, she reminded herself. It’s basically some kind of unspoken rule that he's gonna be hot. Still, she tilted her head, considering. His arms were huge, and she was reminded of the other night, when he’d effortlessly lifted her onto the roof. She also found herself thinking of the times he’d lifted large objects around the house or around the yard. She blushed as she thought of him manhandling h-

“Aron,” Melody whisper-yelled, lightly swatting her arm, effectively cutting off her train of thought.

She blinked and shook her head, her eyes shooting to the brunette. “Wha- what? What is it?” she asked frantically.

“You’re staring,” Melody explained with a laugh, making Aron blush more.

“I wasn’t staring!” she argued.

“Yes, you were! And your face is red!”

“I’m sunburnt!”

“Not that sunburnt!”

“Well- You- Ughhh,” Aron groaned in defeat and laid back down, closing her eyes.

She heard snickers from Melody, unable to stop her own soft laughter.

After a few moments, Aron started to feel a sudden hunger, which caused a painful pit in her stomach. This wasn’t uncommon, she typically didn’t know she was hungry until it hurt. It was mildly irritating, but it wasn’t until she began her training at the hospital that she learned people knew beforehand that they needed to eat.

“I’m hungry,” she sighed.

“Wanna go in and get food?” Melody asked.

Aron debated for a moment before shaking her head. “Nah. Too lazy for that. I’ll eat later,” she said, feeling too comfortable to get up.

Over time, it became more uncomfortable, and she found herself craving a specific food in particular. “I want mac ‘n cheese.”

“I really want mac ‘n cheese.”

“That’s so real,” Melody said back, but neither of them seemed to have any interest in getting up to make any.

Aron chuckled as she spoke. “Dawg, I can fucking taste it. Like- I want it so bad.”

“Go make some,” Melody suggested with her own soft laughter.

Aron debated for a moment and sat up, trying to find the motivation. After a few minutes, the two decided to go inside together and make it.

They entered the kitchen and looked around the cabinets, searching everywhere for the Kraft mac ‘n cheese. Every cabinet, shelf, and counter was frantically searched by the two women.

“What the fuuuck,” Aron complained as she searched the pantry. “We don’t have any.”

“Damn,” Melody sighed. “Do you wanna eat something else?”

Aron laughed as she responded. “Nah, I’m not even hungry no more. I lost my appetite.”

They decided to each get a bag of chips, and they brought some extra bags in case the incubi wanted some as well. They sat back down in the lawn chairs and settled to watch the incubi as they ate.

Aron sighed, the chips failing to fill her food craving. They didn’t fulfill her one bit, and with each bite, she wished it was mac ‘n cheese instead.

“I’m ‘finna be so real with you. I would suck dick for some mac n cheese right now,” she proclaimed with a bored tone in her voice.

“Girl…what?” Melody asked, looking at her with a look that was mixed with shock, concern, and amusement.

“I would suck dick for Mac n cheese,” Aron repeated. “I would give someone head so good that it’s life shattering. They’d have a new positive outlook on life. They’d have hope for the future because of how good it was. I would do that for someone if it meant they’d get me mac ‘n cheese afterwards. I’m dead fucking serious.”

“You’re so real for that,” Melody sighed, leaning back. “So, if one of the incubi, other than James obviously, offered to make you mac n cheese for head, you'd do it?”

“Honestly? Yeah, abso-fuckin'-lutely,” she responded confidently. “Look, sucking dick is fun as fuck, and I'd get Mac n cheese after? Hell yeah.”

Melody started to agree, but was interrupted by Sam. “You guys know we can hear you, right?”

Aron and Melody froze, eyes shooting over at the group of incubi, who were looking at the women with amused expressions- though a few of them were blushing. It wasn’t until the women’s eyes met that they dissolved into laughing fits.

“Whoops,” Aron said in reply with a shrug once her laughing had calmed down.

“We don’t know what you’re talking about,” Melody joked sarcastically. “We were talking about the sunset.”

“Yeah! The sky is beautiful,” she agreed with her friend.

“Uh huh,” Sam said, crossing his arms as the group walked over to them, likely done with their training.

“Is that what you were staring at earlier then, Aron? The sunset?” Damien spoke up, making her blush even more.

“Wha- yep! What else would I be staring at!”

“Well, your thoughts seemed to be focused on S-”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Aron interrupted with a lighthearted tone, laughing even harder as she playfully swatted his arm.

Soon the entire group- including herself- was laughing at her expense. They continued to joke around for a bit before going inside.

[this-isajokerjoke]

dudley and his attempt at redemption

just imagine y’all

little dudley trying to play with harry and getting in trouble 

the only time he would get scolded or in trouble was when he hung out with harry and when he was angry he never got in trouble when he took it out on harry (ex yelling or punching him in the arm) as a child

so he kinda just stopped being nice to him

once, he was so angry. he got home from school and he could feel his hands shaking and the rage bubbling up his throat. he's seven. then he walks into the kitchen and he sees harry. and he lets loose. he hits harry again and again and harry is crying and he doesn't care because harry is a freak and when his mother comes in to see what all the noise was all she does is scold harry for being so loud. 

then she asks dudley if he feels better, and he does. all she says is “good im glad you got that out of your system”

so whenever he's angry he takes it out on harry. 

then his aunt comes over and, having heard the stories of harry at school, laughs when dudley shoves harry so hard he slams into his cupboard door. 

after that he hurts harry for fun. soon his friends join in. harry is a freak and he deserves everything after all he put dudley’s family through. this is harry potters punishment. 

this goes on for years

when dudley is fourteen, he starts feeling a little bad listening to harry be beat by his father or seeing him dodge a frying pan for messing up breakfast

he ignores it. his cousin is a freak. he's weird and gets in trouble and isn't liked by anyone. he deserves every bit of pain and hurt because he needs to learn to fit in and be normal. then finally, his house might be peaceful like it is at his friends houses

when he's fifteen, he reads a story in school. it's about a boy who is hurt by his parents and there's a class discussion on the short story. his classmates keep saying that “no one should be hurt by someone who's supposed to take care of them” and his teacher tells the class that if that sort of thing goes on at home, it's classified as abuse and they need to report it

dudley is confused. his situation is different, he thinks. harry is a freak. but after that, he stops hurting harry for fun. it's lost all appeal. 

he lashes out when he's upset. but he can't help but think of that dumb story. 

then, the summer before he turns 16, a new girl moves to surrey. she's pretty, dudley thinks. he meets her. she's kind and makes dudley’s heart skip beats. he goes over to her house one day, to pick her up for a date. she calls her parents by their first names, and dudley questions her. 

“oh,” she says, fidgeting a little. “my birth parents were deemed unfit to have guardianship over me. they're in prison for child abuse. so i'm being fostered.”

that explains her occasional flinches and panic attacks

it's explains why she's underweight. 

so once they began to date, he noticed more and more about her. she had panic attacks a lot, there were certain phrases that sent her into a spiral. she fell asleep on him once, during a movie. she thrashed and screamed and sobbed in her sleep, and when dudley finally woke her up, it took half an hour to coax her into calming down. 

she told him she had nightmares about her childhood. she was diagnosed with ptsd a while back. 

that was when dudley dursley decided to protect this girl with all he had. 

dudley hasnt hung out with his friends in a while. piers asks why at one point, but dudley just shrugs and avoids him more. the group stops talking to him completely when dudley punches one of them in the stomach. he’s not sure why.

so when harry came back for the summer, dudley saw the same things he saw in his girlfriend. he heard his cousin say things in his sleep, for them to stop or to “run cedric, run”

when harry was locked in his room without food or water, dudley snuck some in for him. he gave him ice packs and bandaids and tylenol when he was beat, and he didn't mention harry’s nightmares like he would have years before.

by the time the school year started, dudley knew that his parents hadn't treated harry potter right. there wasn't an excuse for him hurting harry even, and harry had been abused in the dursley home. 

dudley threw up.

when dudley dursley was 17, his cousin returned to his house in a panic. he watched as harry packed everything up and begged the his parents to understand that there was a war, they're in danger, they need to go into hiding please for their own safety

dudley dursley was 17 when he last told his girlfriend he loved her but it was for the best that they broke up. harry wouldn't lie about being in danger, and the last thing dudley wanted was the sweet girl to be hurt again

dudley dursley was 17 when he moved away from surrey. he was 17 when he asked his parents why harry wasn't coming with them and they told him harry was a waste of space. 

dudley dursley was 17 when he realized not even a part of him believed that. 

dudley dursley was 17 when he spoke to his cousin last and told him “i don't think you're a waste of space.”

harry potter is 17 when he says, “thanks big d.”

[qmorningcrew]

dump all your ideas abt ur summer camp au i want to hear it

ahhhhhh first of all anon ily <333

here’s my ideas for the summer camp au so far :)

- it’s called quesadilla summer camp (im so creative lmao)

- the camp was created on an experiment. if it went well, they would implement the plans on a larger scale. (what’s the experiment? it’s assumed it has something to do with crossing the language barriers but no one actually specifies)

- all participants get college scholarships

- but the whole thing is really badly executed? like it just does not have the set up or functionality of a normal summer camp

- there’s just very little supervision or guidance

- the camp is run by some version of the duck, and they’re very uninvolved which leads cucurucho and zero to just Not Care.

- counselors are rubius, cucurucho, and the code entity

- the code entity goes by zero

- zero really doesn’t talk but they all learn pretty easy it’s how fucking awful of an idea it is to piss them off

- cucurucho and zero are they/it besties

- rubius is the same age/around the same age as the campers, cucurucho and zero are older

- sometimes one the campers walks into their cabin and sees an entirely new person in their cabin, which is normal. they switch cabins constantly

- the first week people just keep. randomly wandering off. “where’s wilbur?” two hours later wilbur walks out of the woods with a rock. (not even like a cool rock. it’s just a normal fucking rock)

- phil’s the mom friend. but he’s still a disaster. he’s just the only one with any shred of responsibility. he’s also just got an aura of trustworthiness that makes everyone trust him with their problems

- fit is just. so chill

- he also just? always has what you need? “yeah sorry it’s a bit hot in here, a screw that seemed important fell out of the fan earlier so we haven’t turned it on yet” “oh! i think it’s in here- nope screwdriver’s in the left pocket, where did you say the screw was?”

- dan just kinda disappears for a bit? cucurucho tells the campers he went on vacation but they don’t entirely believe them. dan comes back a little different.

- spreen is always either starting chaos or nowhere to be found

- quackity manages to keep putting himself in the middle of like every problem whether he’s involved or not

- however charlie pretty much is always involved

- luzu is had DID and arin is an alter

- luzu does know about arin but he was just diagnosed and is still figuring it all out

- roier flirts with everyone (except jaiden, he respects her boundaries)

- wilbur brought his guitar with him and sings at the campfire some nights

- charlie only joins in on the meme songs

- jaiden finds the most. random shit. “hey guys i found $20 stuck to the bottom of the picnic table with a piece of gum” “oh dude look! a patch of four leaf clovers!” “woah look at this cool bottle cap i just found!”

- maximus is a conspiracy theorist but in like a, hey this actually genuinely makes sense kind of way

- bad is terrified of spiders

- he saw one in the bathroom of his cabin and was completely moved in to a different cabin within seven minutes

- roier finds this hilarious

- foolish and vegetta are dating. no one knows how they got together or when they got together. if you ask either of them, you’ll get two completely different answers

- the brazilians join two-ish weeks in

- they all arrive together in a bus together and have already formed a Friendship on the journey there

- the bus was almost set ablaze 4-6 separate times (depends on your definition on separate)

- there is an extremely done cucurucho driving the bus

- forever sees phil and immediately turns to tell felps how that is the man of his dreams

- mike and pac are inseparable. they’re just kind of always within the vicinity of each other.

- cellbit, bad, foolish, and maximus attempt to take over the camp together. it doesn’t go as planned.

[rubin-therubix-loverofblorbos]

You think I'm the best? Aww.

Also you said that Spy was disabled due to his ballet career and I was wondering do you have any other disabled HeadCanons?

wy can't Ihug ascreen. devastated,

Engie: Carpal tunnel/Neurodivergencies/Deafness. He made himself a wrist brace out of metal scraps and fabric and somehow it's comfortable. He barely remembers to stop working when it flares up because y'know. It's Engie. He also has horrible hearing and made himself some hearing aids because, again, it's Engie. Also, on the topic of Being Engie™️, he is the worst of the group regarding mental disabilities. OCD, ADD, ADHD, Schizophrenia, Medic even thinks he has Apotemnophilia {He has a weird kink about replacing his limbs with mechanical shit and it worries people. It is most likely rooted in his self-hatred and kind of weird Self-Capragras. What do you MEAN you want me to pretend I'm going to tear you apart gruesomely and leave you to put yourself back together buddy? What The Fuck Do You Mean By That?} But the difference between him and the others? He takes his medication, flat out. Never misses a day except for the day after New Year's when they have to restock. Also, I forgot he only has one hand and ALSO made himself an eye because he got fucked up in a workplace accident [he screwed up on a bigass machine and it blew the fuck up in his face]. So.

Soldier: Vision {Tunnel, has a bad eye}/Neurodivergencies/Deafness/Speech{stutters real bad when he's excited}. [TRIGGER WARNING FOR CHILD DEATH, ABUSE, AND JUST PLAIN HORRIBLENESS} He has. problems.Many problems. Bipolar veteran Dad pushed his face into hot oil, killed his mother, and, when realizing what he did, killed himself. Soon after, Jane was put into an ADULT asylum since he was seventeen and they didn't have any room left. He Was Put Into A Strait Jacket And Muzzle At SEVENTEEN, deemed unsafe and unstable. He now has brain damage. He was on his way to graduating early and had been accepted into Harvard. He wanted to be a lawyer. Had a transfemme friend who was in the Hiroshima bombing and had the pattern of their kimono burnt into their skin. One day, that friend escaped to go to a Pride parade. They didn't come back. Jane now has abandonment issues, but it gets worse. Later, on the news, they say that three children were killed due to police brutality. Jane is terrified, but thinks they made it out. Soon, they show a bloody pulp of a person on-screen, facial features unrecognizable. But they have the pattern of their Kimono burnt into the one patch of skin left untouched. Jane has issues. He found a seven-year-old, Perdita, alone and he took her in, because that's how he is. Raised her to the age of twelve, then he shot her dead because he was having an attack and thought she was his father. Closed his eyes and shot until his gun was empty, only hearing her screaming when he ran up to hold her in his arms. He lies awake, every night, wondering. She wanted to be a lawyer too. Wow. I spent so much time on his story I forgot to explain literally anything else. fuck.

Spy: Vision/Neurodivergencies/Walking. As we know, he broke his hip doing ballet. but he ALSO has trauma from being a hitchhiking prostitute. He also also has asymmetrical eyes, which mess up his vision sometimes. He Also also also has allodynia, which makes him hate being touched. He seeks attention because after his parents died he found out how privileged he was and how nobody really cares anymore. Bad separation issues.

Sniper: Neurodivergancies/fantasy illness i invented don't worry about it. The dude has perfect aim he hyperfocuses on that shit like crazy. Sniper is one of the better guys, though he has a mild case of anorexia and has had flat-out Cotard's ever since Medic gave him an autopsy. No, he's not like Engie where we're not sure, he has been diagnosed and given medication. He also has small eyes, but it doesn't affect anything, really. OH also SEVERE Genophobia from a misinformating Ex that kept telling him sex was fucking agonizing for the bottom and assaulted him. Violently. Until he was unconscious. He doesn't remember anything but the fear, not even the pain, just how scared he was. A lot of scars on his inner thighs from the guy slashing him with a dagger. Was a virgin until he was 41 and went fuckin insane when his hymen broke {it broke during his assault but was surgically repaired} because oh god he was right I'm gonna bleed until I die oh fuck oh shit. Was okay afterwards, but he's still shaken by that

Heavy: Neurodivergencies. Has a bit of an issue about his father getting eaten by a bear when he was a kid but y'know. In Mother Russia, you don't fuck the bear up the. the bear fucks you up. this is also applicable to any other place that has bears when you don't have a gun.

Pyro:

Demo: Neurodivergencies/His blood is legit alcohol. I mean they all have autism, but Demo has weird autism. that makes him like alcohol a lot. A lot. Demo's are always short because we all know what's going on with him.

Scout: Neurodivergencies/Cerebral Palsy. ADHD little mf. Was also born with cerebral palsy but it wasn't severe enough to keep him from being able to walk, in fact he loves running, as we know.

Medic: Hm. is made of multiple different people's body parts. dunno what that does for him tbh. Was born with severe facial deformities and has a slanted skull to this day because his twin {who was attached to him at the head and calf} died and had to be cut off of him. He talks to himself often and we don't know if he's just being himself or if a little bit of the other's brain was left in there. He also has Tourettes and his most common tic is a short but of maniacal laughter. etcetera. because this is definitely not the only things wrong with him

[ashmalina]

full name. ashley 'ash' irene malina faceclaim. alexandria daddario gender. cis woman (she/her) birthday. november 24, 1989 (thirty-five years old) time in town. 1989-1997, 1997-2022 on and off, moved back in 2023 living situation. two bedroom apartment at cedar pointe occupation. american sign language interpreter family. gregory (father, deceased), tracey (biological mother), jacq (step-mom), lacy (younger sister)

bio triggers. abandonment, medical, parental death, divorce

Ash Malina was born to Gregory Malina, a Deaf disability rights lawyer, and Tracey Allen, a hearing nurse. Initially, Tracey planned on putting the baby up for adoption as she had no interest in being a parent. Greg, on the other hand, was very excited. He offered to raise Ash as a single parent, and Tracey ultimately agreed to this arrangement. In Ash’s earliest memories, it was her and her dad against the world. She didn’t know any different, and she wouldn’t change it for the world. Her first words were in American Sign Language. English came later, from television and the world outside of their house. 

When Ash was four, her dad started dating a woman named Jacqueline (or Jacq, as Ash called her because she couldn’t pronounce or spell Jacqueline when she was young). Within a year, they were engaged with the pregnancy announcement coming a short time later. In hindsight, they rushed into getting married because they knew they were having a baby together, but as a kid Ash was only worried about how this would change her perfect micro-family. Deafness was genetic in Jacq’s family, and Lacy Malina was the fourth generation to be born Deaf while Ash was the only hearing person in their immediate family. 

Only a few days after her birth, Lacy was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect. For the next few years, Ash watched helplessly as her baby sister was in and out of the hospital and different doctors offices. She was equally helpless whenever there was no interpreter for an appointment. Sometimes it was the doctor’s fault, especially whenever there was an appointment in a smaller office that wasn’t used to working with Deaf clients. Other times, the shortage of interpreters in the Shreveport area was the problem. Staff often expected Ash to become the interpreter in those moments, while her dad refused to put that responsibility on his child. 

When Ash was in second grade, she met Seth. Within a few weeks they were ‘dating’, which to seven year olds meant that they sometimes held each others hands while otherwise being afraid to talk to each other for half the school year. Despite all odds, they stayed together even when they were in different classes in third grade, and beyond. Ash pretty quickly had her life figured out; she was going to marry Seth, become an ASL interpreter, and then have two or three kids with him that they would raise in their castle. As she got older, the castle turned into a more realistic suburban home but the rest of the plan remained steadfast.

Fifth grade meant a new class, and one new student in particular. Already set on becoming an ASL interpreter, Ash was so excited to see there was one in her classroom that year. It helped her as well, being able to see the information in her first language instead of learning strictly through her second. The only problem was the boy who needed the interpreter had chosen that outfit on his first day of school?! At recess she walked right up to him and informed him that his shirt was hideous, and they quickly became best friends after that.

Ash figured out at a somewhat young age that she liked girls. She came out as bisexual at the age of fourteen with an anticlimactic lack of fanfare. Her queer identity really didn’t change anything though, as her relationship with Seth continued on as strong as ever.

Junior year was when everything felt like it came to a grinding halt, a stark contrast to the fact that most of her life didn’t change at all. After competing in a track meet, Ash was approached by a woman she only recognized from the few pictures she’d seen; her biological mother. Over coffee, Tracey apologized for leaving Ash and explained that she hadn’t been ready to be a mom back then but Ash was almost an adult so it was different now. Up until then, Ash had never thought much about the woman that left when she was young. Her relationship with Jacq never felt like Jacq’s relationship with Lacy - she did her best to fill in as a mom figure, but she and Ash were just never as close as Ash was to her dad. That didn’t bother her, nor did Tracey's decisions seventeen years ago. Greg did everything he could to be twice the parent, so Ash wouldn’t want for more. But now her mom was here, wanting a relationship, and Ash finally allowed herself to want that too. She let herself get excited about her mom wanting to be part of her life. A month later, Tracey met a guy and left town. She broke the news to Ash in an email, and never contacted her again. It was a very hard time for Ash, causing her to cling to Seth and Elliot more while distancing herself from everyone else - especially her family. 

Graduation was looming and it felt terrifying. Ash was going to University of North Florida for their interpreting degree which technically meant that she was the one leaving her boys behind, but her trust in people was still very broken and she lost more sleep than she would admit worrying that nobody would actually miss her. Proposing to Seth bucked tradition, but how else would they survive the long distance of college? Besides, they had technically been together for ten years. Their wedding didn’t have much fanfare; a courthouse marriage, dinner with closer friends and family at a nice restaurant, and the promise that they would have a vowel renewal and more extravagant ceremony after they both graduated college. 

The next four years weren’t eventful; Ash and Seth both got their degrees, Ash started building a career for herself in Jacksonville, and Seth ultimately moved to Florida. It was everything they had talked about, but there was just one problem…Ash had figured out during college that she was a lesbian. The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt Seth, and he was the perfect person to start a family with. At least she liked him and knew he was exactly who she always imagined a future with. So for the next three years, she tried to convince herself that she could like men - or at least one man. They started trying for a family, but it never happened. Negative pregnancy tests and frustrations eventually led Ash to blurt out the truth, and the two divorced shortly afterwards. Seth never held any of it against her, and they were able to stay amicable through their split. 

For the first time since she was eight, Ash was single and she had no idea how to handle it. A friend suggested dating apps, which led her to an online relationship with Amber in Pittsburgh. There was an instant connection, and their whirlwind romance resulted in Ash moving to Pennsylvania only a few months after splitting with Seth. Less than a year later, Amber proposed. Lesbians move fast, is what she told Ash. Once married, the sapphic fairytale turned from Disney to the Brothers Grimm. Amber grew emotionally distant. She changed her mind about having children, which was a huge issue for Ash. Starting her own family was so important, and she could see her chance to do so slipping away. But what was she supposed to do? Get divorced again? It was inevitable with Seth, but she wasn’t going to be twice-divorced before she even hit thirty. No matter how bad the fights got, or how badly Amber treated her, Ash stayed. It felt like her only choice.

Lacy had a stroke, was not a text Ash ever expected to receive. Sure, her little sister had been sick a lot when they were kids but she had been doing relatively okay for a long time. They always knew she was at higher risk of having problems as an adult, but it was a different thing to have to look those issues in the eye. Ash flew to New Bellevoux, prioritizing her family over her failing marriage. For the next couple years she split her time between the two cities, much to Amber’s annoyance. It wasn’t only about Lacy, and both Ash and Amber knew it. Their dad and Jacq could take care of her, and she was getting better. Yet whenever Ash was in Pennsylvania, she was thinking about her friends and family in New Bellevoux. Moving back full time wasn’t an option though, because Amber wasn’t willing to give up her friends and family to move to some southern small town. 

With so much focus on Lacy, it didn’t even occur to Ash that she could lose another family member. Her dad’s death was sudden, a freak accident. Everything after finding out was a blur. Jacq and Lacy were both a mess, which left Ash feeling like she had to be the strong one. Back in Pittsburgh, she was numb to her marriage. Amber was surprisingly supportive despite their history, trying to get Ash to open up to her, but Ash wanted no part of it. Life suddenly felt cruelly short and she didn’t want to stay in a loveless, childless marriage. She told Amber that she wanted to get divorced, and left for New Bellevoux before they could figure anything out. 

It’s been a little over a year since Ash returned to town and her life is starting to stabilize. She’s taken the time to grieve her dad’s death, and has started dating again. But things are far from perfect; Amber is dragging out their divorce as long as she possibly can, and Ash feels like it’s too late for her to realistically start a family and have the life she always dreamed of. Still, she’s relieved to be back in her hometown with her friends and her family and has no plans on leaving again any time soon.

[misc-obeyme]

Since nobody has asked about Ciaran I’ll have to fix this injustice! >:(

11: Do they still have any objects from their childhood? What is their most vivid childhood memory?

12: What is something they have experienced that has shaped themed into the person they are today?

07: Would they date an immortal being if they aren’t immortal themself, and vice-versa?

09: How is their temper? Are they quick to violence? Do they get frustrated easily?

09: Share some fluff headcanons!

10: Share some angst headcanons!

11: Something you really want to mention about them that you haven’t before!

07: Where do you think they would most likely end up in—heaven or hell?

08: Do they carry anything with them protect themself from the paranormal?

I’ll stop myself for now! ILY CC!!💖💖

Ahhhh thank you Ivy, ily too!! 💕

Okay this is gonna be all about Ciaran and so you're all going to learn some new stuff about them for sure lol.

11: Do they still have any objects from their childhood? What is their most vivid childhood memory?

Okay, time for the story of why Ciaran loves the ocean. Ciaran's father died when Ciaran was ten. It was a fast acting cancer so once he was diagnosed, he went pretty quickly. But before that, when Ciaran was about seven or eight, the whole family went on a trip to Ireland (where both of Ciaran's parents are originally from) to visit family and so on. One day, Ciaran's father took them for a hike out to the ocean. It was all green hills and rocky cliffs. And they stopped for a while on a cliff where they could see out across the waves. And Ciaran's father told them stories about selkies. They walked along the beach for a bit, too, and chose a single rock to bring back with them. Ciaran still has that rock and this is by far their most vivid childhood memory.

12: What is something they have experienced that has shaped themed into the person they are today?

Well obviously their dad passing away at a young age was a big deal. But other than that, I would say it was discovering their love for painting. Ciaran is naturally very active and energetic, but painting is a calming and relaxing thing to do. They were so entranced by the method and the colors and depicting things in a visual medium that the found themselves able to settle and concentrate on it. They can't really do that easily in general, so it was like unlocking this piece of themselves they didn't know they had. It first really began to impact them when they were in a high school art class where they had to paint for an assignment. And the teacher could see that Ciaran was really connecting with that in particular and encouraged them to pursue it further.

07: Would they date an immortal being if they aren’t immortal themself, and vice-versa?

Ciaran is very much a "live in the now" type of person, so they might not even consider the consequences of something like that at first. However. Ciaran dearly cherishes the time they had with their father, even if it was short. So I think that if Ciaran was the immortal one, they wouldn't have a problem dating someone who was mortal. They would be happy just to love someone for however long that person is around. Because they know that even when that person is gone, the impact they had on Ciaran will live on until Ciaran themselves has passed on. In the opposite situation, I think Ciaran would consider it to be the choice of the immortal person. Since Ciaran would get to have that immortal partner by their side all of their life (assuming they don't break up or something). So Ciaran would totally date an immortal while being mortal, but they would consider it the immortal's choice in the end.

09: How is their temper? Are they quick to violence? Do they get frustrated easily?

Ahaha. Ciaran has a short fuse! There are a couple of specific things that really set them off. And once that temper explodes, yes they will get violent. They're pretty short so they have a tendency to throw things at people, but they will absolutely get into fist fights at the drop of a hat.

They can get frustrated easily, but it depends on the situation. They get frustrated with people who are needlessly mean, whether that's mean to themselves or mean to others. They also don't like it when people treat them as an inferior or like a child. It's pretty easy to ruffle their feathers lol.

09: Share some fluff headcanons!

Okay, for this I'm going to tell you another little story about what happens when Ciaran falls for one of the characters.

Ciaran paints large pieces with oils, but they also carry around a smaller book that they fill with on the go watercolor paintings. They tend to paint landscapes and abstracts. They take a lot of pictures when they first arrive in the Devildom and end up painting a lot of different Devildom flowers and buildings. They're fascinated by this whole new world of stuff to paint, so they end up with piles of canvases in their room.

And then one day the character they have feelings for (this changes because I can't decide) finds a portrait they've painted. It's still on the easel, an amazingly well crafted portrait in oils. And of course, it's a portrait of that character. He asks Ciaran about it, thinking Ciaran must have taken a picture of him when he wasn't looking. Ciaran's a little baffled by this (and also a little embarrassed because they didn't really intend for him to see it). Ciaran says that they could have painted a portrait from a photo, but they didn't need to. Ciaran hands over their current watercolor notebook and the character flips through it to find that nearly every other painting is of him. In between the paintings of flora, buildings, and a handful of other people, are paintings of him smiling, concentrating, standing in a RAD hallway, or doing his favorite thing. Ciaran says they painted the oil portrait from memory because they've painted him so many times now that it just comes naturally.

And even though Ciaran doesn't say anything about how they feel, it's basically a confession. What happens next varies depending on the other character, but in the end Ciaran always gives them the portrait.

10: Share some angst headcanons!

Okay lemme give you an extension of the fluff story for this one, then!

Because Ciaran used to paint portraits all the time, back in the human world. But then they fell in love with someone. And they started painting that person all the time. For a while, every painting was of that person. Until that person broke Ciaran's heart. :( Then Ciaran stopped painting portraits and never actually painted another one until the above scenario.

Additionally, I would say that angst for Ciaran is really prevalent in the Nightbringer timeline. They don't even like Solomon at first, until the third season of the OG when they become his apprentice. They eventually realize how smart he is and how lonely he is. Then he earns their respect and friendship. But Ciaran really struggles with the brothers not remembering them. And if they're going to fall for Solomon, they've already got feelings for him by the time Nightbringer happens. But they haven't told him, so it's all angst because they think it's unrequited (what can I say we're dealing with two idiots). So it's a lot of trying not to depend on Solomon too much, but having no one else to turn to, etc.

11: Something you really want to mention about them that you haven’t before!

One time, Ciaran got incredibly drunk and slept with their older sister's boyfriend. Fiadh said she was angry, but Ciaran was like yo do you think I'm dumb? I can tell that you don't actually care, what's up with that? And that's when Fiadh decided to come out to her family as a lesbian. Needless to say, she broke up with that boyfriend and did not really mourn his loss. In the meantime, Ciaran felt terrible because they really didn't mean to do it and they were far more careful about their alcohol consumption after that. Because they love their sister and would never hurt her intentionally. And they would like to not hurt her accidentally if they can avoid it.

07: Where do you think they would most likely end up in—heaven or hell?

Wow what a question. Are we saying this is when they die? Because I kinda think Ciaran would be hell bound lol. I'm not sure, honestly. Do they get a say at all? Because in that case they're definitely going to choose hell, assuming that's just the Devildom and not like... a fire and brimstone type of situation. But despite being an angry lil guy with a bit of a violent streak, Ciaran is generally a good person. So I guess it depends on what the requirements are. But they would choose to be in the Devildom if they could.

08: Do they carry anything with them protect themself from the paranormal?

Ciaran is no longer a practicing Catholic, but due to their upbringing, they still have bits of that lingering in the way they deal with this kind of thing. They've been known to cross themselves out of habit when they're really frightened. They also have a few saint medallions. They keep one of St Christopher in their car. Due to their love of animals, sometimes they will wear a St Francis of Assisi medallion too. (Their mother keeps their rosary for them.) But if such things are toxic to demons, they will leave them behind lol. Other than that, I don't think they have anything that's specific for protecting themselves from the paranormal. Though I could see them wanting to make such a thing that doesn't hurt demons because they care about having some protection.

Woo! That was fun, so much of this is stuff I've just had sitting around in my head for ages! Thank you for asking!!

MC & OC Ask Game

[nikarie5]

Sugar Rush - snippet

Rating: General audience. No ships. Juvenile diabetes, bullying, racism, and sexism. Incorrect medical advice. Excessive use of commas and run-on sentences.

General description: Remus helps one of his summer Cubs navigate how to continue in sports after a diagnosis of Type 1A diabetes. Thanks to @lumosinlove for the characters, @noots-fic-fests for the prompts and cards, and @hazelnoot-analyst for their archive work :)

Remus sifted through his inbox, which was usually pretty quiet during the summer months before training camp kicked off. There would, however, sometimes be the odd e-mail from a parent related to the Cubs teams he coached, so he continued to check his Lions' e-mail everyday. Sure enough, today, he had two e-mails, one from the ice manager about when the Cubs were expected to arrive for their special arena tour the coming week. One from - hmmm - one from the administration forwarding an e-mail from Mr. Sanchez, father to one of the more gifted Cubs Remus has coached in the past three seasons. Lucía had joined their program as a seven year old, and now, at nine, was one of the best skaters and players on the ice. She had worked hard to catch up to the kids who had grown up on the ice, learning to skate as soon as they could walk, and she showed an instinctive grasp of hockey tactics and reading plays on the fly. She had missed last week, and he hoped this wasn't bad news. Remus clicked open the e-mail, scanned it quickly, then let out a breath. It wasn't good news, but it certainly wasn't as bad as he feared. Lucía had just been diagnosed with juvenile diabetes, and was afraid that she couldn't play hockey anymore. Remus fired out a response, inviting Lucía and her father to a meeting before the next practice. Then, he hit the books. Well, he hit the internet, collecting resources from reliable sites he already knew of and sniffing out some sites with information that might be more accessible to an 8-year old, and some resources in Spanish, just in case. Then he called his buddy Jake, a former NFL tight end Remus had met during his courses at Madison. Jake, a Type 1A diabetic, did a couple of sessions at the university each year for aspiring trainers on how to assist athletes with diabetes, and Remus had stayed in touch. He also fired off an e-mail to Luke Kunin, who had started working with the Madison sports trainers in high school while Remus was finishing up his program, even though Kunin's freshman year was after Remus' graduation. The following Tuesday, Remus felt ready to go. He met Lucía and Mr. Sanchez in the lobby, and ushered them through to his office so they could be assured of privacy. It broke his heart a little to hear Lucía look so defeated when she declared that she couldn't play anymore. Diabetic Mexican girls have no place on the ice, her doctor said. At that, Remus shot a look to Mr. Sanchez, whose jaw had clenched so tight, Remus was afraid he might crack a tooth. "But, you are from Honduras. Lucía, don't believe anything someone says if they can't even get that right once you've told them. Your doctor is very, very, very wrong." "The school says it too, and other players. Only some girls can play hockey, and not brown girls, and not sick brown girls. They say I will get a sugar rush and fall down whenever I skate fast. And they say I will get too fat to skate, only fat Mexicans get diabetes." "I am sorry you had to listen to that. None of what they say is true. I will keep a stronger ear out for that kind of bullying and ask the other coaches to do better too. That kind of attitude does not belong on the ice, in the locker room, or anywhere."

Then, point by point, Remus demolished the false statements, explaining that diabetes is different from a sugar rush, and that with careful management, Lucía can not only play any sport she wants, but excel at it. He shared the tips from Jake and Luke about how to wrap Lucía's new continuous glucose monitor and pump so that they were protected without impeding movement or insulin flow. He talked about nutrition and managing diet in the sense of being aware of how your body was feeling, and learning when and what to eat ahead of expected activities, and how to recognise a low. He shared his stories of working with Kunin, and how the whole World Junior team kept jelly beans in their pockets and on the bench, just in case Kunin needed to quickly raise his blood sugar. He talked about how the discipline and awareness of how her body is feeling that Lucía will develop while managing her diabetes might help her with the work needed to become a professional athlete, if that is a goal she decides to pursue (although nothing can guarantee anyone will make it to a professional, - and doesn't Remus know all about that, he thinks silently to himself - but diabetes certainly shouldn't stop her).

An alarm started to ring from the desk, and noting that it was almost practice time, he gave Lucía a handful of the temporary tattoos Jake had courriered over to him, some a simple blue circle, others the circle with the words Insulin Dependent written underneath. Then he sent Lucía off to change into her gear, but asked Mr. Sanchez to stay behind for a second.

"What your doctor said to Lucía was incredibly inappropriate, damaging, and incorrect. Is there any chance you can switch doctors?"

"I have already started the process to transfer Lucía to a pediatrician who specialises in juvenile diabetes." "Good. If that doesn't work out, please reach out to us here, and we will try to share more resources and make some connections with organisations the Lions work with regularly. Also, if I may be so bold, please report that doctor to the state board and the US Department of Health and Human Services. I have to head to the ice, but, please, don't hesitate to reach out to me if you have any other questions or concerns about Lucía playing hockey. I can set up another meeting like this anytime this summer. Lucía is a gifted player and a great leader on the ice, hockey would be worse off without her playing."

[kikiiswashere]

Life, man.

I’ve debated writing this for a few weeks. But, you never know until you put yourself out there, right?

Some of you may recall that around this time last year I wrote briefly about my autistic burnout and having to close my brick-and-mortar studio (yoga). The time since then has, unfortunately, continued to be increasingly challenging.

Since about October/November 2023, my mental health has been steadily deteriorating further. I’m taking new medication, working with my general physician and therapist, and trying to find a psychiatrist. Living in the USA, though, makes this frustratingly hard. Wait-times are outrageous. As are out-of-pocket costs.

Almost a month ago, my husband left his toxic work environment. Without the parachute of another job lined up. We have been trying to get him a new job for literally years (like, seven) to no avail. But he could not stay there any longer. After years of suffering verbal, mental, and emotional abuse (from customers as well as administration), and being physically assaulted (something we just recently learned has left him a traumatic brain injury) it benefit of his salary and health insurance was not worth the cost. He has suffered, I have suffered, and we - as a partnership - have suffered from it. We are continuing to look for new, salaried/benefitted work for him, but at this point nothing has come up. And with the cost of living what it is, and only my part-time paycheck keeping us afloat. . . We are stressed out, as you can imagine.

The final kicker is this: Also, about a month ago, one of our pups was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Remy is doing okay right now. He still wants to eat, go on walks, and gets the Zoomies, but he most likely will not last the year. We spent many dollars to get to this diagnosis, and now knowing there’s nothing we can do but keep him comfortable is as maddening as it is upsetting.

We are doing what we can. Looking into state resources, cutting our spending and resources where we can, leaning on friends and family, etc.

Which brings me to the point of this post: I have a Ko-Fi page now!

If you enjoy my works, be it writing or drawing, and you can, please consider buying me a ‘coffee’, as they say. I would greatly, deeply appreciate it. I am also preparing commission information soon. So, keep an eye out for that.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you so much! As a reward, please enjoy these pictures of our boy, Remy ❤️

[xalhaau]

Bucket-List

FT.— Ran Haitani

WARNING(S)— Afab Reader, Angst, Sickness, Mentions Of M4rders, Gangs, Death, Graves, Swear Words.

PS— I got lazy at the end so the ending isn’t that good lol.

“ I’m sorry, Miss L/N.. You are diagnosed with a rare disease which will eventually lead to a terminal illness..”

————

You were devastated, who wouldn’t be? Knowing you were gonna die sooner or later didn’t feel so great, you even denied the fact you were terminally ill.

How could you be sick? You were literally living a normal life yesterday and suddenly, your terminally ill while death is basically awaiting for your arrival.

What a cruel world we live in, huh.?

Despite all the depression building up inside you, you aren’t even phased at this point so whats the best solution to temporarily leaving your depression? None other than making a bucket-list and enjoying your last days for each day you’d live.

————

My Bucket List.

Day Fifty-seven— Giving food to the homeless.

Day Seventy-fourth— Go to the annual festival.

Day Eighty-sixth— Go bird-watching.

————

It had already passed day seventy-third which means you were going onto day seventy-fourth, going to the annual festival that is held every year, being a big hit to a specific part of Japan; It’d probably be your last time at this festival.

You were currently getting ready, slipping your socks on while grabbing your new shoes that you bought yesterday after handing out homemade food to the homeless around Roppongi, your home city, where you live.

Grabbing the keys to your car, you picked up your coat off of the coat hanger and headed out, grabbing your bag along with your cell phone, locking the door to your apartment.

Calmly driving through Roppongi with fingers tapping onto the steering wheel, you navigated to Shibuya, where the festival is always held; You were excited to go to the festival you’ve always been to since you were a kid, this was always your favorite place when you were a child.

Parking your car while getting out and locking it, you walked towards the festival with your cell phone and bag clutched in your hands. You parked further, due to the minimum access of parking with cars flooding the streets of Shibuya near the night-time festival.

It was going as a peaceful walk until you heard a groan coming from an alleyway, you were around 8 minutes from the festival entrance as you looked around the street, very few people were also walking towards the festival as you stood still, looking through the alleyway of the sound.

A figure could be seen walking out with what seemed like.. a stick?! No, it looked like some sort of weapon.

Were you really gonna get murdered here before your sickness murders you? That’d be a horrible death, you tried running but couldn’t, your body staying frozen while you cursed yourself, “ Gosh, stupid body move your fucking legs before they murder you, you dumb legs!” Yes, you were insulting yourself.

Before your body could start taking off, a chuckle was heard as you looked towards the chuckling stranger, or rather, a very familiar man.

You let out a sigh as you recognized the face, “ Hello, Ran.” Standing awkwardly while you waved at him as he just stared at your waving figure, Ran waved back, “ Hi Y/N, long time, huh?” He retracted his baton and shoved it into his pocket.

A nod was seen as you sheepishly smiled, starting to walk off until he grabbed your shoulders, “ Where do you think your going, hm?” You chuckled, trying to wiggle yourself out of his grip “ To the festival, obviously.?” He gave you a blank stare, now it was your turn to laugh.

A sour look was shot towards you as you were practically a laughing donkey at this point, “ Its the annual Shibuya festival, you know? Also, why are you in Shibuya, shouldn’t you be in Roppongi?” He nodded towards your comment “ Well, I guess we should go to the festival then, Y/N.” You walked alongside the man as both of you headed to the festival.

————

Pointing towards the white cat plushie while Ran threw his tickets towards the salesman “ Win that plushie for me, Ran!” He grinned at you as he knocked down all the bottles while the salesman scowled, an obvious ‘scam’ that he tried to set up yet the infamous older Haitani outdid the cheap scam.

Ran points towards the large, white cat plushie as the man sourly handed it to him as you cheered to Ran, “ Good job, Ran!” You threw him a thumbs up as he smiled towards you, genuinely.

You hugged the plushie as Ran stared at you, “ Lets get some food, yea?” You nodded as you followed Ran to a food-stand “ What do you want to eat, i’ll pay.” You looked at the menu and grabbed your wallet out of your bag, “ It’s okay, I can pay for both of us and i’ll just take the takoyaki.” Ran nodded and gave the lady both of your orders as you handed her the money while smiling towards Ran.

You grabbed the food as Ran sat at a random table, heading towards the table as you set both food plates down “ Heres your food.” You handed his dish towards him as he grabbed it out of your hand, smiling at you.

Currently, fireworks were going off as the two of you ate, “ I’ve always wanted to watch the fireworks with someone, my parents always made us leave before we could see the fireworks since it was too late.” He just stared at you as you smiled towards him, “ I’m grateful for this experience, you know? I also have something to tell you and I have something to give you.” He was all ears.

A sigh could be heard as Ran stared at you more, “ I’m terminally ill, Ran. I could die any day now, i’m so happy we did this.” A tear fell from your eyes as Ran’s eyes widened, not in a good way.

He was shocked, nothing could leave the elder Haitani speechless but this, this was probably the only thing that did “ Are you serious, Y/N.? When did you figure this out?” You nodded, “ Like around 3 months ago.” He looked sad, no.. could the Ran Haitani actually be sad for you? Impossible.

You’ve known the man and his little brother since children due to the fact, you ran away from home and ran into the two boys on your childish escape from home.

You pressed your hand on your forehead as you mumbled words, “ Ran, I don’t think...” He let out a hum as you paused your speaking while he looked up from his food “ I don’t feel so good.” And just like clockwork..

Ran watched as you fell off your seat and onto the dirt floor while he rushed to your side, obviously forgetting his food while scooping you up, grabbing his phone from his pocket and dialing an ambulance.

————

The night was basically a blur for Ran as he sat in the hospital, outside your hospital room; Ran remembered watching you being carried onto a lifter while he jumped inside the ambulance, demanding for answers from your sudden faint.

Rindou had heard of news since he frantically called his older brother, asking him for where he was and why he wasn’t already home, he even came to the hospital as he looked at you through the window.

He always knew Ran had a thing for you, avoiding girls and relationships since he was dedicated to court you, or rather Ran’s official words, “ I’ll never touch or talk to any woman unless its Y/N, Rindou.” Rindou never doubted his big-brothers words as it was literally painfully obvious currently, watching his big brother sit on the floor, patiently waiting for your awake.

Suddenly, Ran saw many staff rush into your room, hearing code-words as more ran inside your hospital room.

Ran stood up, trying to see the commotion through the glass but the many staff blocked that from happening as he saw staff leaving the room while one nurse came towards him.

She gave a sympathetic smile towards him as he glared at her, “ Hello, are you Ran Haitani?” He nodded as she handed him a letter “ This is from Miss Y/N before she passed.” Ran let her words register into his head as he paused, “ Y/N passed away.?” The nurse nodded as she sadly smiled towards him.

He read the letter as tears slowly fell from the mans eyes, surprisingly, the letter was written two months ago, you had made it a part of your bucket-list to confess your love to Ran, hoping you’d run into him someday; you had kept it in your bag at all times, hoping you’d walk into Ran Haitani someday.

————

July 17, 2006.

Dear Ran Haitani,

I love you and I hope I can express my love to you through this letter someday, I know its childish of me to write a love letter to you and hope you see it but I truly believe it will work.

Did I tell you, i’m terminally ill and i’m counting my days down, I also made a bucketlist and I hope I can finish it.. Though, I will probably die before I can finish it, haha!

Anyways, I just wanted to tell you, I love you and I mean in every single possible way.

Love, Y/N L/N. ♡

————

July 17, 2018.

“ Mikey, i’m gonna get off early today.”

He nodded as Ran walked out of the building, heading towards his car to drive to a certain someone’s grave.

Before he made it to that special someones grave, he stopped by the local flower store which sold that special someones favorite flowers which also symbolize undying love, “ Can I get 6 dozen pairs of your red asters?” The flower-lady nodded as she got the impressive bouquet of flowers ready.

————

He set the flowers down onto your grave while he kneeled in front of it, “ Hey, its been a while, I really miss you, you know?” He read your grave name “ I visit every day on the day you passed, Mikey always knows where I go every July 17th, haha..” Ran was obviously hurt from your disappearance from this world.

Each year, he would come here to pour his heart out to your grave and where you were buried, he had you buried under a tree in a secluded area near the festival since you said you always loved the festival, he’d even come to the festival every year with Rindou as a way to somewhat celebrate the festival.

He knew you had no one other than him and Rindou so he bought your car, its sitting in its own garage at his house since it means so much to him and he visits you whenever he can, not just once a year since he finds himself thinking he’s a jerk to you.

————

Ran Haitani is found at your grave every July 17th, speaking with you and admiring your grave while watching children and parents pass by to the annual festival that is still being held strong.

Ran Haitani also completed your uncompleted bucket-list for you since you sadly passed before you could finish it, he even checked it out day-by-day.

————

Ran checked out the last thing on your 5 page bucket-list as he sighed, staring up towards the ceiling until he turned his cellphone on, the screen showing a picture of you and him on his wallpaper the night you died unexpectedly , the night at the festival.

He mourns over your death every single day, it has became a part of his daily routine but he was grateful he could help accomplish your bucket-list, the least he could do to show his undying love to you, your bucket-list.

[stoportotouch]

PLEASE tell me about the lieutenantcules kids

ohoho i would Love to

they end up having two, james frederick (little and hodgson) and katherine "kate" alexandria (irving and hodgson). (obviously hodge is transmasc here.) james is born in january 1849 and kate is born in july 1850. They Were Busy, is what i'm suggesting here. (behold my lovely spreadsheet, because i can't keep track of these people otherwise.)

since this is The One Where Doctor MacDonald Survives, he is also the one to deliver both of them. (which is great because hodgson doesn't fancy explaining all that whatnot to a new doctor.) this later becomes a great advantage in that it prevents hodgson from Fucking Dying having kate.

lots of Stuff below the cut, because i have a lot to say about these childen as it turns out.

james is named after fitzjames and fairholme (and also edward's older brother james cornelius) and also after fred hornby. after he's born, hodgson (slightly high on Fun Victorian Narcotics, as was the fashion at the time) suggests calling him "james james". this is not necessarily unfitting considering that he is named after the man so james that they called him it twice but get Vetoed.

james is one of those "started talking late but once he started he never stopped again" neurodivergent kids, and his Personality is basically the same as hodgson's. (this includes The Neurodivergence. he would be diagnosed with autism and adhd if this was the 21st century.) this eventually leads him to join the diplomatic corps, for some reason.

he is basically hodgson's software on little's hardware in that he looks and physically acts basically exactly like little but with some of hodgson's pointy features. he... is short. (just barely taller than little when he's full grown.) partly because, as you can see, april of 1848 isn't that long after they were rescued.

but also little is short and in a short family, and hodgson is alone in his immediate family in being tall. (or rather, he was objectively tall pre-transition. he got bumped down to Just Below Average Height by the simple expedient of cutting his hair.)

james was also The World's Most Difficult Baby, again because he was born to somebody who was still kind of recovering from scurvy and definitely recovering from lead poisoning. this is literally just because the "thank god we're alive" came back LONG before the... actual intelligence did. (it also fucked hodgson's hip up for the rest of his life.)

for the first year or so james does Not like not being held, wakes up at just about every noise or External Stimulus and has colic. then around his first birthday he suddenly just goes like "hm, no more of that, thanks" and starts walking. which completely fixes all the other problems. (he still doesn't start talking until quite a while after kate.)

the not talking does give his Dads pause until james cornelius mentions when he visits that edward didn't talk until he was about seven. thus when james starts talking when he's about five or six this seems to explain everything. (one difference: when edward started talking he seemed to do so unwillingly and never talked much. james starts and then never stops for the rest of his life. this is presumably hodgson's genetics kicking in.)

as i mentioned earlier. katherine (or kate) is hodgson and irving's kid, which is just... a fascinating combination of personalities to cross-pollinate. she's named after katherine irving, who is irving's sister-in-law (and also one of his best friends), and also after alexander macdonald.

katherine irving is an obvious person to name her after, especially since irving is a bit glum about not being able to tell his family about Having Kids, on account of The Circumstances. but naming his kid after her is the next best thing (especially when he had always promised her Godmother Rights if he had kids). alexandria is, obviously, after doctor macdonald. it seems like the least they can do since he stops hodgson from dying. (kate is completely fine.)

kate is like. the world's most chill baby, and also the pregnancy is far physically/psychologically easier on hodgson than james was. most of the issue the first time was the combination of "the unknown" and like. Gender Stuff. the latter of these still gets to him from time to time with kate but far more mildly and he feels more able to talk about it. (because he was pregnant with james while little was recovering from a brain injury and irving was recovering from being stabbed. as i said, they were not especially bright in this regard.)

as i said earlier, having james when he was still recovering fucks up hodgson's hip for the rest of his life. this actually doesn't lead to what happens with kate but it probably doesn't help. (kate is also a far larger baby, since irving is tall and quite broad when he isn't malnourished, and from quite a tall family.) long story short doctor macdonald figures out that hodgson isn't just sore/tired and a bit high and hodgson gets an emergency hysterectomy out of it.

hodgson later suggests, once everybody has recovered from the shock of "partner/other father of our kids/friend just nearly bled to death", that they call her stephanie. you know, because of doctor stanley (who in fairness he did get on really well with. world's oddest friendship, or not really considering that when we see doctor stanley make attempts at Bedside Manner it's basically hodgson through a filter of irony poisoning).

little and irving haven't even talked about it and irving is kind of... avoiding it all (he does with both births but hodgson only particularly wants little with him. not for any particularly Personal reason irving's energy is just too jumpy for a sick-room). hodgson does suggest that he be there when kate is born because he knows what to expect now and they're All a bit further out from The Initial Arctic Trauma. irving says no, which turns out to be the right decision because he spends about a week having a panic attack.

they decide on a full name for her very quickly. (both of them have hodgson's surname, just to avoid any questions. this doesn't actually avoid questions with james because he looks like little.)

kate looks basically exactly like hodgson did as a kid, which is really weird for him (and also makes him a bit more protective of her than he was expecting to be). it's doubly weird that she also acts exactly like he did. as an adult she ends up looking like hodgson but a girl/with irving's tone of voice and way of speaking. (she's also about six foot tall fully grown.) basically she looks like this leyendecker painting.

she basically acts like hodgson would if he didn't have... The Problems. which can be extremely annoying but also it's great for her; she's assertive in a way that neither of her Dads could ever manage in addition to being at least book-intelligent. (she isn't people-intelligent.) she fortunately doesn't pick up irving's anxiety (or his compulsions) but she does get his Maths Brain.

she and hodgson still bond over music but she's very into like. Finding The Right Answer so he gets her into bach. this works excellently. she eventually ends up with his ancient copy of gradus ad parnassum that he's scribbled in over the course of a few decades. she is far better at bach chorale harmonisations than he is. (or rather, she picks it up far quicker.)

-----

on the subject of their families: some of little's family know but this is limited to james cornelius (Gay Uncle, beloved by both james and kate for all their lives), and little's sister margaret anne (and her husband, john). margaret and john don't particularly get it but also "aw, nieces and nephews" (and margaret likes hodgson). they look after james when kate is born.

hodgson... basically does not talk at all to his family, honestly. his dad died in 1844 (literally right before he met irving. like he was going through all that while they were having a really complicated Situationship that ended with irving trying to ghost him but not being emotionally able to) and while he used to get on with his mother... not so much any more.

if he hadn't had kids then he would probably have gritted his teeth with at least two of his siblings (beilby porteus and mary) and at least tried to have more of a relationship with them. but then as soon as he has james he's just like, "yeah my family are never getting near our kids", and kate being born (and everything around that) cements that in his mind.

he uh. i have so much to say about his relationship with his oldest sister, henrietta mildred. but the summary as it pertains to this is "he is still stuck at the level of a very scared seven-year-old where she is concerned and she is stuck at the level of a very miserable nineteen-year-old where he is concerned." they could probably talk it out. it would actually be beneficial. but they literally never will.

-----

further on Family Dynamics (and also a bit about Victorian Class Dynamics):

hodgson is a good amount younger than his siblings (or than his surviving siblings). he's one of five that survived to adulthood and he's ten years younger than the next one up which means that he was basically an only child but that his parents had forgotten everything about babies and toddlers. so like, Victorian Ideas About The Child, Multiplied By Ten Thousand.

he was also completely unexpected and while not quite unwanted he was far more handed off to nurse and then nanny than his older siblings as a kid. and then he went away to a boarding school aged thirteen, joined the navy at the age of fifteen, and basically never came back again. (until post-franklin-expedition.)

so he thinks that little, whose family mostly still live together and see each other as often as they can, has a really weird relationship with his parents and siblings. little is not going to argue this because he's sure he'll find something awful if he scratches the surface. also hodgson isn't going to press the issue because uh. little came home to discover that his mother had died a couple of months before they were rescued. so he doesn't want to cause any further Hurt.

little does, though, feel really weird about handing the kids off to nannies and nurses and governesses. (he's one of twelve from a family which was upwardly mobile but still working-ish class. they could not afford all that whatnot.) he still ends up getting on very well with the nurse they find, who they keep employing after james is born. this turns out to be a good thing when kate is born, because of The Circumstances.