#whom you have traumatised

[theres-a-bea]

wip tag game.

rules: post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a snippet or tell them something about it

YAY thank you @lukepearcing for the tag!!! i'm now tagging @worms-i-think @vynsvision @simpingforclaudette @legends-of-apex @mum-i to pass on the curse <3 (but only if you want to ofc love you mwa)

i had to uhm dig through my google docs and my notes app so 🥰🥰

1. THIRTEEN YEAR-OLD DRY-AGED BEEF

2. Fuck You Jake Adelstein (i have ninjas)

3. Smacking my barbies' faces together: the fic

4. my hand slipped he's in his sugar baby era

5. Poundland Skam pts 1, 2, 3 and 4

6. Damn I LOVE dilfs

7. PRESSED like my subfusc

[baphometsss]

I don't wanna sit here and act like I'm a professional or anything, because I'm not, but as someone who has had to do a lot of work to overcome trauma and reconfigure my brain more or less from the ground up, there's a lot I have to say about Solas's mental state

We know that Solas was essentially used and abused by Mythal for millennia. Even if he wasn't under a geas, he was twisted from his purpose by being made to fight, and then created the Wolf's Fang which was used to make the Titans tranquil and started the Blights. He made those choices himself, but it's important to understand that no choice is ever made in a vacuum. She took advantage of his vulnerability when he was given a body after however long as a spirit semi-existing peacefully in the Fade, and moulded him into a weapon.

He is broken, because Mythal broke him. I'm not incapable of seeing why she did what she did because like I said, no one makes choices in a vacuum and I could write about her for a long time too (in a similar way to how I have had to do myself in my own life in understanding why others abused me). He was so traumatised by everything that happened and he was trauma bonded to Mythal pretty much from the minute he gained a body. Trauma bonds are not about love. He definitely interpreted it that way, as most people do, but that's the weapon abusers use to keep the victim under their control. Abuse abuse abuse show a scrap of love and then abuse some more. If I just take it, I'll get the love/attention I need. I will earn it, because love is suffering, and I have to suffer to earn getting my basic needs met from my family/friends. Mythal, as his creator, was the one who he would've attached to in a similar way to spirit Cole/human Cole.

Trauma bonds are pathological. Mythal made him believe that if he did as she asked, and kept supporting her, then eventually he would gain her favour and they would be able to free all the elves, and he'd be able to live according to his true nature, which is one where he doesn't have to fight. (Remember his personal quest in DAI? He actually kills the rebel mages for corrupting his friend--another Wisdom spirit--into Pride.) In reality, she was just using him. She always kept the bone just out of reach for her lapdog. The line from Rook where they say (paraphrasing here) 'you know, I was actually excited about getting your approval... That's how you do it, isn't it? Keep giving little scraps of approval to keep someone loyal, and then you turn around and betray them' is so telling too.

Where--or from whom--do you think he learned to do this?

It literally reeks of a pathological trauma bond and honestly, with how isolated, 'grim and fatalistic' Solas is, it is not a surprise that he's so broken.

Solas, essentially, is little more than a lap-dog to Mythal. He followed her like a lost puppy, because especially in his early days, that's kind of what he was. You have to remember that most of the insight we get about Mythal is from Solas's perspective, and he is not a reliable person when it comes to her after so long being repeatedly terrorised and twisted and manipulated. There are several instances where he describes being betrayed by her, and mentions some of the things she did, but he never quite holds her fully accountable and ends up directing his rage elsewhere. (The parallel between Mythal/Solas and the rebel mages/Wisdom is important here.)

This awesome post by @mythalism only reinforces this. He is so messed up in that scene, he is broken, he is holding the Wolf's Fang up, trying to give it to her because it symbolises the burden he has carried for thousands of years trying to avenge her death. He never wanted the Fang, like he never wanted a body. Mythal just stands over him, fully aware of what she did to him, and only getting him to stop because Rook petitioned her successfully, and the reunion with the more benevolent Mythal within Morrigan tempered her anger. She was a goddess, with the unequal power dynamic, right to the end.

As a side note, on the potential romance element between Mythal and Solas, I read an excellent breakdown of it on Reddit a while ago about how out of character it would've been for Solas to keep something like that from a romanced Lavellan, especially in Trespasser when he comes clean about his plan/past. I can't find it now because it was pre-Veilguard release, but it made a lot of sense to me. Solas and Lavellan never have a love scene in DAI because Solas didn't want to 'lay with them under false pretences'. Lying about who you are when sleeping with someone is nonconsensual. You can't consent to sleeping with someone if you don't know their true identity, and someone who knowingly lies about who they are to get into your pants is a sexual predator. For someone who led a slave rebellion (no doubt many of them being sex slaves), and a former spirit of Wisdom, Solas would've been well aware of this. In the unsent letter from Solas to Lavellan he says he came so close to breaking and desperately wanted to stay with them as Solas, with the implication being that that is where he planned to sleep with them once he'd come clean. But because he stops, because he's still unable to forgive himself or release himself from his trauma bond with Mythal, he breaks away, and they never have sex.

Bottom line: Solas would've been honest about it. Especially that. As the Inquisitor says, he can't lie about his heart.

And it's why the Solas/Lavellan romance is so powerful because quote, 'you change everything'. Solas thought he knew what love was, that love was loyalty, devotion, worship, etc. It's not just his plans or worldview that Lavellan changes. Lavellan sees him for who he is, without the mantle of Dread Wolf, and because of that he's able to express his true nature to her, even if he's not being totally honest in Inquisition. Lavellan got much closer to the real him than most, as he says, and changed his understanding of love completely. Unfortunately, he has unfinished business, an unresolved trauma bond, and his crushing sense of duty to the past is what keeps him from taking that final step towards letting go of it entirely. Trick also says Solas doesn't think he deserves love, which tbh is kind of a hallmark trait of people who have survived abuse.

And honestly? Call me a simp but I think he really was trying to get the Inquisitor to stop him. He saw himself being unable to let go because he was so broken and burdened by his guilt, and knew he couldn't save himself--was too proud to admit that he couldn't, because how pathetic does it make him look? And how could he stop now without rendering all the damage he'd wrought pointless? Yet here was someone who had changed him right down to his core, who understood him in a way few people ever had, whom he trusted, whom he loved in a way he hadn't loved anyone else before. It took him 'centuries' to build up rapport with the members of his rebellion. The man does not know how to form attachments without trauma, and suddenly he forms a strong one with someone who loves him completely and without condition. It's a jarring change.

Lavellan says that maybe they're being prideful themselves, refusing to see their own folly. But I think in admitting that they might be wrong, that it might be wishful thinking borne from misguided love to a truly terrible person, they've rendered the point moot. It shows self-awareness, which isn't folly.

If anyone can make Solas understand true love, it's Lavellan. Lavellan loved him when he was being his true self. Lavellan loved him after his betrayal was revealed. Lavellan loved him when his guilty conscience and terrible actions almost destroyed the world. Lavellan loved him because they knew the real him, and knew that his heart and spirit were broken, and knew that their love would endure, that their love would heal him.

And that's exactly where they end up. Healing the past, soothing the Blight, and loving one another completely.

[official-megumin]

I hate to be the one to have to say this. But I guess as the one semi-prominent intersex trans woman on here. There aren't really anyone but me to say this.

but for the great majority of even intersex people, your agab still plays a huge role in how you're treated in society.

For probably upwards of 90% of intersex people, you will still be closer to male or female by a large margin.

And you will still be raised according to the gender you were assigned.

Yes some people do not fit that. I do not fit that.

But even me, whom most likely is what would be called a "true hermaphrodite" and to an extend struggle with fully seeing myself as a trans woman due to how many things I share from birth, with cis women.

Am still very much beholden to my agab, even if it is medically and physically inaccurate.

Your experience as an intersex person will vary greatly depending on what gender you were assigned. And in most cases where you don't neatly fit into a box at birth, you're forced to fit into it, with surgery.

And from then on, usually you will be treated mostly as normal. Besides often what amounts to ritualistic corrective rape.

This is of course very traumatic. I am very much not denying that. Neither am I here to argue that intersex people who have been forced through this, and are forced through this as we speak. Aren't traumatised enough to matter.

I am saying that for 90+% of intersex people, it isn't really reasonable to argue that an intersex person assigned female at birth will have the same experience as a trans woman.

Not even if you grow a beard/body hair or an enlarged clitoris.

If you do that, you are grossly simplifying what it is like to be a trans woman.

Even with intersex people in mind, actual situations where "afab trans woman" might make sense, is pretty damn rare.

They do happen, but in most cases that is still not understanding what trans womanhood is actually like. And it is STILL a byproduct of transmisogyny.

And the only reason this idea has gained any traction is because of this.

I rarely, if ever. See intersex transfems making these points.

Every time I have seen intersex transfems talking about this, it has been in frustration about how we are ignored in this conversation.

When talking about the intersection between transmisogyny and intersexism, you have to center intersex trans women.

That is very simple logic.

But we don't ever see that happening. And instead intersex transmisogynists use their intersexuality as a cudgel to deflect any criticism of their own biases.

That is how I ended up having wizardpotions turn on me like nothing, accusing me both of racism and being a creepy weirdo for the simple act of asking him why he suddenly stopped being my mutual and for claiming that TME/TMA are useful terms.

You cannot just claim that you believe that transmisogyny is a thing whilst constantly ignoring or shaming any trans woman for speaking up or explaining themselves.

[hoe4sports]

“Love me to my bones”

Alexia Putellas x reader

A/N: Part two of the stargazing series. It’s based off of the song Stargazing by Myles Smith. P3 can be found here. Triggers includes swearing.

-

05.37. There was thunder outside causing you to be held awake. The heavy drumming on your windows definitely didn’t help on your anxiety. You were staring at the clock on your nightstand while your roommates soft snores were lingering in the room. 05.38. More thunder. Four rounds of thunder within one minute. 3 seconds away from you. For a hot second; you thought you had lost all common sense as you tossed yourself back in your bed and covered your head with a pillow. You didn’t just hate thunder, you despised it. It made all the anxiety you had piled up from football shoved underneath the carpet come alive. You weren’t particularly traumatised, but you had been tough on yourself as a kid. It was hard being compared to Alexia all the time, and it ended up with you having to work twice as hard as her. She was a natural, a magician with the ball. You however, were a not so much natural. But hey, you know what they all say; hard work over talent.

The scrutinising buzzing of Claudia’s alarm woke you up at 6. You were two ringings away from chucking your phone at Claudia to wake her up. It was weird staying with anyone else during away-games, but Alexia had requested her own room for the first time since you started playing together as kids. The wish had come up after she’d talk to Olga about her spacing out, only for Olga to blame it on Alexia for being so busy with football and her teammates. You were surprised by how much it hurt to be wrecked for your usual partner, but you accepted it. What hurt was that Alexia hadn’t reached out to you. She didn’t answer your texts, your calls and she hadn’t given you an explanation. Your explanation was made of giving her the benefit of the doubt. That’s why you had been paired with Claudia. Claudia wasn’t the worst person to camp up with, but by the judgment of her alarm; she wasn’t the best either. “Ah, rise and shine! Ready for another day of football?” Claudia sang after she’d turned off the alarm. The look on your face made her jump a little. “Oh my, Y/N, what happened to you?!” Claudia exclaimed dramatically while hopping up from her bed to touch your face and study the tiredness up close. “I couldn’t sleep, the thunder was horrendous” you mumbled as Claudia moved your face around while she fiddled with the visible bags under your eyes. “Ai, I think you’ll need something better than coffee and face cream” she said blatantly causing you to whack her playfully in her thigh. Truth was that Alexia also hates thunder, so you knew that she was awake as well. You would normally sit together during thunderstorms in the nurturing company of each other. You had been each other’s safe space for years on end, sharing all your secrets and worst fears. That time seemed to had come to an end now that Alexia had Olga. 20 years chucked out of the window. The only comfort you had was that you knew Alexia first.

Claudia dragged you along downstairs for breakfast with the rest of the girls. You felt like you had been run over twice and it felt like your brain was about to pound out of your skull. A few of the girls were already downstairs; Ingrid, Mapi, Caroline, Marta, Patri and Irene. You flashed a half assed smile before you grabbed a plate and placed fruit on your plate. The lack of appetite wasn’t because of poor selection in the breakfast buffet; you could never eat properly after having nightmares or not having any sleep. The chair next to Ingrid was empty so you flopped down next to the Norwegian before taking a bite of the watermelon you had picked up. Ingrid was someone you could trust, whom you could rely on. She would never tell anyone and she would never judge. It was surprising to you when she told you that she wasn’t the captain of the Norwegian national team.

«Y/N? You look like someone forced you to do algebra all night!" Mapi exclaimed causing Ingrid to shot her a look. "Uhm, yea. There was thunder so i couldnt sleep" you shrugged while munching on the bright red strawberries you had collected from the buffet. The juiciness was refreshing for your dehydrated body. "Ai, How did Alexia sleep through that!” Mapi said as she popped a piece of bread into her mouth. “Where exactly is Alexia? Didn’t she come down with you?” Irene stated. The whole lot of girls looked at you as they quieted down. It felt like someone had put a spotlight on your head and you felt your cheeks burn. Everyone knew you and Alexia were two peas in a pod, so everyone also knew that something was wrong. You decided to tell the truth and play it off cool. “She wanted to have her own room, I’m sharing with Pina” you explained as you looked to the wall next to the girls so you could avoid eye contact. The group went dead quiet. The whole room felt like it was closing in on you. The air felt hot. The ringing in your ears were gradually taking a turn for the worse. You could feel the tears pressing.

“I’m gonna go get ready for practice” you practically commanded as you shoved your chair out and stomped up the stairs to the your room in the 11th floor. You quickly opted for the shower, ripping the clothes off your body as fast as you could. The water was turned to a cold setting and the icy water made you feel more awake than ever. It sharpened your body and your mind to the point where you had forgotten about Alexia. Eventually, you got out and pulled on your shorts, t-shirt and your wind jacket. Claudia was laying on her bed watching TikTok as you came out of the bathroom. “That took forever!” Claudia sighted as she looked up at you. “Yea, I forgot the time” you muttered back as you slipped on your trainers. “Ready for practice?”

-

The practice hadn’t really been on your side. You had taken a tumble mid sprint and busted your head open. The medics had forced you to get a huge bandaid in the middle of your forehead. It looked awful, and gruelling. Later that same practice, you had managed to step on the ball during a drill and once again face planted into the grass. The last little slip up was when you got split into two team and Alexia had knocked your right out on your back causing you to black out for a hot second. This really wasnt your lucky day. You got into the wardrobe after practice and stayed behind to shower alone. The girls could get quite loud so you sometimes liked to stay behind. The hotel was in a walking distance to the arena, so it wouldn’t be an issue. After you came out of the shower, you bumped into Alexia.

“Oh, sorry” you said as you kept your head down low as you passed her. “What’s up with you today?” She asked with an attitude as she turned around to look at you. You stood towards the locker as you shrugged. “Nothing”. Alexia sighted as she crossed her arms. “I can tell that there is something going on. I know you Y/N better than anyone on the team.” Alexia said as you tried to get your clothes on as you felt your blood boil. You ignored her chucking your cleats into your bag with your dirty clothes. “Y/N, I know you can hear me! What’s going on with you today?” Alexia’s voice seemed to be a mix of annoyance and worry. You could hear her footsteps coming closer to you. It flipped for you when she touched your shoulder.

“Y/N. Come on, talk to me. You are my bestfriend. I love you and I won’t judge you.” she tried again. The emotions you were bearing felt like a kettle about to boil over. Like the moment when your acl snaps and the whole world goes quiet. Like before you take a penalty. Your heart was pounding in your chest. Your had gripped your bag so hard that it started to hurt your hands. Your breathing was becoming more and more heavy. You turned around to face Alexia.

“Y/N-“

“Really Alexia? Are you fucking dumb? You leave me hanging landing me with Claudia without giving me a heads up! You are an ASS at practice. You stop texting me, you stop partnering up with me, you stop being my best friend. You don’t give me any reason, any explanation. You throw 20 years in the trash within a heartbeat! And you tell me that you know me? That you love me? You clearly don’t fucking know or love me at all!”

“Y/N.. I-“

“Oh my god, Alexia. You really don’t know when to stop?! I’m such an idiot for loving you! I’m such an idiot for loving you more than I love myself, more than football, more than anything! You threw me away like I was nothing. And for what? For a fucking girl, Alexia! You don’t do that, people don’t do that to someone that has supported them for 20 years!”

Alexia’s eyes had tears in them. Her confusion was fogging her brain. She was longing for your touch, but she couldn’t tell you. She couldn’t tell you how Olga had picked a fight with her about you. How jealous Olga was. How she felt like she had to protect you from her own girlfriend. You couldn’t tell her how you were craving her touch. How you loved her first. How you had fallen in love with her before Olga was there. How you had liked her since you were teens. Maybe that was your way out of this situation, of this mess that had been made by you, Alexia and Olga.

“God Alexia, I love you. I love you so fucking much it hurts. I have loved you for decades. I loved you before Olga did. I was in love with you, Alexia. For years! So please, leave me the fuck alone.”

You bolted towards the door of the wardrobe leaving Alexia stunned. You felt embarrassed, but you were hurt. As you stormed out of the room, you smacked the door shut while you paced out as fast as your legs could. You needed to get away from Alexia. And you didn’t care what you had to sacrifice for that to happen.

Things between Olga and Alexia weren’t how you had assumed they were. It wasn’t really “Olga and Alexia” anymore. But Alexia hadn’t told you yet. How they had broken up the day you left for the away game. She wanted to tell you in person, somewhere private. Where nobody could hear her other than you. Where she could pour out her real feelings to you. She wanted to tell you that nobody was worth risking your friendship. That you were her bestfriend. That no girl was ever gonna get to ruin your friendship. That you were her ride or die. But she couldn’t tell you, because you were long gone. Alexia didn’t know what to do or how to make things right; but she knew that she needed to make amends.

[everwalldigan]

My first somewhat controversial post but if you refer to Damian as “feral/rabid kitten” “stabby assassin child” or GOD FORBID you say that Jon TAMED HIM (I cannot even begin to describe how nasty that is.) your opinion on him is immediately invalid.

As an Arab who has been subjected to many microaggressions such as the ones above (eg: Arab people are uncivilised, uncultured and violent, dirty, animals), those kind of posts, even if they were meant in a lighthearted way are still really harmful. Just be mindful about how you talk about an Arab character who has been both subject to micro aggressions from other characters in universe and the victim of his identity being erased more and more with every new appearance.

Damian is not a fucking animal for the white angel Jon to “tame”. He is a child who has suffered immense amounts of trauma, negligence, physical and emotional abuse and is relearning how to interact with people, especially ones his age. Of course it helped that he had someone who understood his situation and with whom he could be himself with without compromising his identity. Jon was his friend but it was Damian who had the courage to put in the work to change his behaviour and rethink the ideals he’s been taught all his life. You could give him 100 Jon Kents but if he wasn’t brave enough to be willing to change, he wouldn’t have.

I also find it weird how people (and in fics) still insist on portraying Damian the way he behaved when he first left his abusive situation (the league of assassins) and are still acting like he’s the traumatised and violent child he used to be when now he is doing so much better and is acting more like people his age. Damian worked hard to be where he is today, he still has an immense amount of trauma because that just doesn’t go away no matter how loving his current environment is. He still struggles with morals and unlearning what has been hammered into him since he was a baby.

One more thing, if you portray Talia as a two dimensional abuser who doesn’t care about Damian (cough Tom king cough) then you’re doing both her and Damian a disservice because abuse is rarely a black and white thing and, especially with Talia, is incredibly complex. Talia has also suffered trauma and abuse her entire life. Her father literally runs a fucking cult. Talia is the victim of her generational curse, the cycle of violence that is now on Damian’s shoulders to stop.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

honestly tho om lucifer is such a comfort character

you know mammon's my all time all around favourite no contest but like

lucifer just hits different

he's so tired and he's so overworked and he loves his family so much it makes me sick he's willing to kill and die for them at any chance he made the misfits of the celestial realm his family despite being the perfect example of an angel himself he thinks his brothers are adorable he just wants them to have one quiet day

he's such a bastard he's arrogant and prideful and he'll willingly meow like a little kitty cat because his boybestfriend is sad

he's got daddy issues he's terrified he's traumatised his greatest fear is his father he spent years fighting a pointless war and never questioned his father about whether they ever even tried to find a way to end the war without just mindlessly trying to kill people who really aren't that different from them for a reason no one knows he's willing to be given piggyback rides by another high profile man in a public area

he's a dog person he's weak to puppy dog eyes from everyone he cares about he's constantly done with Mephisto's shit he gets jealous because one of his friends complimented their mutual friend's cookies

he's willing to villainize himself in the eyes of his family to keep them safe he's sadistic his first response to being cornered and scared is to kill anyone who's making him feel that way his love language with his brothers is being a little shit to them he's somehow connected to/the starting point of all the issues/trauma his brothers have he has empty nest syndrome even though all his brothers live at home he hasn't realised the extent to which his actions and words have fucked up his brothers and is constantly surprised and devastated by it when he realises

he has a son he pretends is his brother whom he only ever canonically acknowledged as his son twice which led to huge blowout fights one of his younger brothers bullies him into going to the pub with them once a week his son runs a club with his youngest brother dedicated solely to making his life miserable

he's sadistic he genuinely enjoys seeing people suffer he's so polite he'll allow himself to be poisoned by food he knows is bad he bought dinner for a whole restaurant because it was the owner's birthday he wore a silly outfit and worked at a themed restaurant as a favour for a friend he gets visibly more aroused when he's ordered around he insults his brothers but gets upset whenever an outsider does the same

he loves his human so much and he's so annoyed at them he's so frustrated with them he's so angry at them and he's so worried about them so protective of them so incredibly proud of them he has tried to kill them many many times

he's a borderline alcoholic he's immortal he's greying he gets migraines he forgets to eat and he sleeps at his desk he does the mom thing and orders takeout for his children when he goes out to eat without them he likes dad jokes his greatest wish is to visit a factory he likes good socks he's a grumpy old man

he's over 10 million years old he's an eldritch horror he's the personification of the sin of pride he needs glasses to read his childhood friend? ex-boyfriend? kind-of-brother? old coworker? brother in arms? calls him luci

he's a naggy paranoid perfectionist he removed the entire bathroom because one of his brothers forgot to clean it he had to literally be kidnapped to send him on a vacation he ripped out multiple sets of his own wings he doesn't like being seen shirtless he lectured jason voorhees about him not killing efficiently enough

he's a respected and recognised drag queen he believes love is love he's canonically so beautiful but no one ever makes a move on him because the whole realm thinks he's in a committed long term relationship he refuses to believe his best friend is in love with him despite multiple people saying so

he's the type of person you want to please the type of person you want to make proud the type of person you want on your side because you know no matter what he'll always have your back you're safe that as long as he's there everything will be okay the type of person you want to be held by while everything is falling down around you

he's even queer

[dark-night-hero]

Imagine Zhongli who was cursed to die by the hands of the one he loved the most.

Imagine Zhongli who was bound by the curse for almost hundreds of thousands of years finally came across the hands of his supposed to be beloved. Staring at the small child in front of him as he thrust a dagger in their hand before casually guiding them to thrust it on his chest. "Are you seriously about to traumatised this child? Mor- Zhongli" "I just wanted to get over it. You can always erase their memory afterwards." Without any second thoughts, he held those small hands tighter and trust it into his chest and as he felt his chest burned and ache, he looked down and met with a pair of terrified, shaking and tearful (eye color) iris. He was just so tired.

Imagine Zhongli whom after thousands of years waiting for his demise woke up with a bandage chest throbbing in pain but could not do anything about it. He was pretty sure they were- you were the destined person he was bound to be kill with, so what went wrong? Did he missed something? Nevertheless, after that day, he never saw that little child again nor did he even try to find them ever again, what was the point when it clearly did not work? Maybe it was his curse to actually live for eternity without ever finding some sort of peace and rest for himself.

Imagine time has always been kind to Zhongli. His old but never ending youth makes him wonder if he would ever be like those friends and foe he had once came across with. But was time passed by and anything changed but himself, he gave up on that fact. He had always hated the fact that he had to watch people come and go in his life. It was inevitable, he who seemed to be lucky-cursed of time, never really got the chance to actually grow up.

Imagine, it's not like Zhongli has never loved someone before. Out of all his countless years of life long journey, he had gone through different love, heartbreaks and goodbye. He had experience watching his loved one die, be it war or something else. He have been in a relationship before. He had loved someone already, he had gone through series of hello and goodbye. In some cases, he wondered and curse why should be this one his beloved, the one he was destine to die in their hands with. Why. Why does he have to experience countless heartbreak and misery enough for him to get his long awared peace and rest. There must be something wrong with the curse.

Imagine, years later. Events long forgotten in each other mind. Zhongli have come across an individual. One he was quite annoyed with actually. He knew it was a coincidence. Deep inside he knew it was fate working there way into the two of you. But he was tired. He had already long accepted the fact that he was bound to live on forever. That his curse will infact go on forever and ever. But honestly, that did not stop himself for falling for you.

Imagine, as cliche as it may sound. You were different. You were... you. And with you, he can be himself, the one he was before the curse, before everything. For once, around you it felt like the clock that had long stopped working finally moved its gears again. For once, Zhongli felt like he could finally grow up.

Imagine, the more he spends time with you. The more Zhongli realize that it was you he was bound to be with. The same hair, same eyes, although you go by another name right now. He was pretty sure it was you. And it scares him the more he found himself falling for you.

Imagine Zhongli who was cursed to die by the hands of the one he loved the most.

Imagine Zhongli who was eager to end it all, tired of all the millennia that has passed as well as the past he had left behind. Zhongli who was tired of being the unchanging one, stuck on time and could not move on. He who thought he had given all the love he could give only to realize there was more that he could give. Who admitted to himself that this one, with you was different. Back then maybe he was eager to get rid of it all, calling it love when it was barely that, eager to get rid of the curse.

Imagine Zhongli whom realize as time passed by that afterlife couldn't be the only thing that give him peace and rest. That he could also find it on person, with you. He found the rest and peace he has always been looking for. At the same time, he became aware of what the future holds for both of you.

"I'm sorry." You cried. Hands around his wound but it was not helping, he was not healing and he was already losing a lot of blood. "I'm sorry if only I was a little stronger-" "Hush my dear. It's okay." That only made you cried even more, leaning into his already cooling hands as he reach out to wise away your tears. "My dear, my love. Do me a favor, can you?" "Morax- Zhongli- I can'-" "If I'm going to die-" "no, no! No!-" "I want you to be the one to do it, my dearest."

Imagine the way his hands dropped and place it gently on your hands. Holding into it as he squeeze it gently. His other free hand comes a dagger, a dagger so familiar you felt like you have seen it before. "If I'm going to die, dying by your hand would be the greatest honor."

Imagine as soon as he said that, something clicked as if the last piece of puzzle has been put into place and suddly, everything make sense. It was all on him in the end. He would be the cost and reason for your suffering.

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2024°

:Bruh, what the hell happened in here. I have no idea. Mababaliw na ko sa ojt + classes till 7pm. Ang mahalaga ay buhay, it's good to be alive still.

:also, quick kudos to this prompt for giving me idea ever since like, a day ago.

[milevenstancyendgame]

Eleven And Ableism

So I've been seeing recurring awful ableist views on El, all the way from old s1 posts to recent post-s4/s5-anticipating posts, and I won't have it.

People talking about El as though she was stupid. Because she barely spoke in s1, and in the following seasons still speaks like a child sometimes. Because she didn't learn a whole lot of things that children usually learn in our society, because she's lacking social knowledge.

This hurts me in a very personal way, because I have complex trauma too, with similar adaptations as El, and I've experienced the same discrimination, and still am experiencing it profoundly by the ableist welfare/medical system.

El doesn't talk much in s1, because she's traumatised, both in general, and freshly re-traumatised after being forced into the tank, encountering the demogorgon, opening the gate, fleeing the lab, seeing the first kind person to help her getting murdered, and then being bombarded with a ton of questions and unknown terms by a group of boys, the majority of whom don't seem very friendly towards her at first, but react to her like something abnormal/disgusting (wow, that's a lot) .

And she obviously was horribly abused during her whole childhood; objectified as a weapon and taught to not take up any space. She was just told what to do all the time. To only speak when spoken to.

She finds herself in a completely new environment full of strangers. Can you even imagine her level of fear, as a child who never was given any emotional safety, going outside for the first time and encountering strangers for the first time?

Of course, she doesn't talk much! Her whole life experience was a nightmare, why would she act like other kids?

Also, she has developmental arrest, meaning that due to the extremely unsafe surroundings she was born into, her brain couldn't develop as much and in the same way as that of other children, making her developmentally and emotionally younger than her physical age.

The crucial thing about human beings is that we need love to grow and thrive. Emotional connection creates new neural pathways in our brain. Learning is a social thing.

That is why she sometimes talks or behaves like an infant. Parts of her personality/brain are literally still that young.

Humans (and other animals) also do this thing called dissociation. It's a survival mechanism that makes you disconnect from your sensations and emotions (going internally numb).

Children who are repeatedly traumatised in infancy, rely heavily on dissociation, because a baby/toddler can't fight or run away.

A dissociative trauma response will paralyse (freeze) you or make you go limp (collapse). It also shuts down the verbal part of your brain (and other cognitive parts).

We see El going into freeze a lot in s1 when she's scared, but since it's fiction, it never lasts long, because there's no time.

And since El has been raised to be a weapon and therefore forced to fight, she taps into this trauma response frequently too.

All of this trauma-info-dump, just to give you a tiny glimpse of how incredibly intelligent El/her body/her brain is.

She went through all of this torture since she was a baby, no one loved her, and yet she survived, and yet she is still a whole person, a unique individual, a child who despite everything, is still capable of forming attachments and her capacity for love fully intact.

But people see a quiet/mute child, or a non-responsive child, and assume they are "stupid". I think it's pretty obvious who is the stupid one in this equation.

[hard--headed--woman]

I know I spent two days without posting any lesbian pride post lol but I swear I'm gonna post two posts per day in the following days to make up for it. I am again going to talk about an artist, but from a different period this time.

Rosa Bohneur !

(I love her name by the way... Bohneur means happiness in french and that's such a pretty name to have)

Marie-Rosalie Bonheur, known as Rosa Bonheur, was born in 1822 in Bordeaux and died in 1899 in Thomery. She was a French painter and sculptor specialising in representations of animals.

She has kind of an interesting family story (mother adopted by a rich guy who found out later who was her real father, siblings all artists, father who met a lot of interesting people, links with many famous people...) but it would be too long to talk about it and I want to focus on Rosa herself. Do check it up if you're interested!

During her youth, Rosa Bonheur had a reputation for being a tomboy, a reputation that followed her throughout her life and which she made no attempt to deny, wearing her hair short and later smoking cigarettes and cigars. Her emancipated lifestyle never caused a scandal, even though she lived in an era that was very concerned with convention. Like all women of her time, Rosa Bonheur had to apply to the Prefecture of Paris for a cross-dressing permit, renewable every six months, in order to wear trousers, in particular to attend livestock fairs, travel or ride horses.

Here's one of her permits, from 1857 :

And though many historians tried to deny the fact that she was a lesbian, she always refused to marry a man, has only ever had relationships with women and literally wrote that she never felt any sort of love, attraction or tenderness for men, "besides a frank and good friendship for those who had all my esteem". After the death of the woman she loved, she also wrote "If I'd been a man, I'd have married her, and they wouldn't have made up all those silly stories..." You got it : even if she didn't shout it from the rooftops, Rosa was very probaby a homosexual woman.

Rosa Bohneur grew up in a fairly wealthy family, thanks to the financial support of her mother's adoptive father. But when her mother's father died, the family was left without any such support, and fell into dire poverty. When Rosa was 11, her mother died, which deeply traumatised her. She kept a lifelong admiration for her mother.

In 1836, at the age of 14, she met Nathalie Micas, who became her lover. Only Nathalie's death 53 years later separated them.

Her father remarried in 1842 to Marguerite Peyrol, with whom he had a last son, Germain, who would also become a painter. Rosa Bonheur did not get on well with her stepmother and when her father died in 1849, she left the family home to live with the Micas.

After her mother's death, Rosa Bonheur went to primary schools, was apprenticed as a dressmaker and then went to boarding school. Eventually her father took her into his workshop, where her artistic talents were revealed. He was her one and only teacher. Gradually, she developed a passion for animal art, which became her speciality.

She exhibited for the first time, at the age of 19, at the Salon of 1841. She won a 3rd class medal at the Salon of 1845, and a 1st class medal (gold) at the Salon of 1848. This award enabled her, at the age of 26, to obtain a commission from the State to produce an agrarian painting (paid 3,000 francs). The painting resulting from this state commission, "Labourage nivernais" was supposed to go to the Musée des Beaux-Arts in Lyon. But it was so successful at the 1849 Salon that the Beaux-Arts department decided to keep it in Paris, at the Musée du Luxembourg. After Rosa Bonheur's death, the work went to the Louvre, before being transferred to the Musée d'Orsay in 1986.

When her father died in March 1849, Rosa Bonheur replaced him as director of the École impériale gratuite de dessin pour demoiselles (or École gratuite de dessin pour jeunes filles). She remained in this position until 1860: ‘Follow my advice and I'll turn you into Leonardo da Vinci in skirts’, she often told her pupils.

In 1860, she moved to a huge house in By, where she had a huge workshop built, and ample space for her animals. One of her relatives wrote: “She had a complete menagerie in her house: a lion and a lioness, a deer, a wild sheep, a gazelle, horses, etc. One of her pets was a young lion she let run around. My mind was freer when this leonine animal died".

In June 1864, Rosa was visited by Empress Eugenie, who invited her to lunch at the Château de Fontainebleau with her husband. The following year, Eugenie returned to see her, to present her with the Legion d'honneur herself. Rosa is the ninth woman and the first artist to receive this distinction. About this, The Empress said :

“At last, you've been knighted. I am delighted to be the godmother of the first woman artist to receive this high distinction. I wanted the last act of my regency to be devoted to showing that, in my eyes, genius has no sex."

She was also the first woman to be made an officer in this order, in April 1894 (first female officer of the Legion d'honneur).

Rosa traveled extensively with her lover Nathalie, herself a painter and mechanical enthusiast (she invented and patented a railway braking system), and painted many pictures inspired by her travels.

In 1889, Nathalie died after some 50 years together. It was then that Rosa expressed her regret at not having been able to marry her.

After Nathalie's death, Rosa met Anna Klumpe, a talented American painter. The two women moved in together some time later.

Rosa Bohneur died of pulmonary congestion in 1899, without having completed her last painting, “La foulaison du blé en Camargue”, a monumental canvas she had planned to exhibit at the 1900 Universal Exhibition.

She is buried in Père Lachaise cemetery, alongside Nathalie, her parents and Anna (who died years after her). She left her entire fortune to Anna, who, in 1908, published a biography of Rosa Bonheur and created a Rosa-Bonheur prize at the Société des artistes français. The Société des Artistes français posthumously awarded her the Medal of Honor shortly after her death.

Rosa could have had military honors at her funeral, but she specified in her will that she did not wish this.

There's a lot of interesting things to say about Rosa, her art and her history, so I suggest you do some research on her! She was a very talented and strong-willed woman who had a huge impact on French art and left a considerable cultural legacy.

Here are some of her paintings :

I personally love them ! I am not a painting expert, I just find them sooo pretty.

See you tomorrow :)

[nthspecialll]

I don’t think we talk enough about the fact that Charles buried all his friends. He might not have known them for a long time but he still had some affection towards them, even if he hadn’t, imagine how traumatising that is.

Imagine seeing young Sean with a whole life ahead of him, his head shot open, blood running out, visibly being able to see the inside of his skull. Loud mouthed Sean who could be annoying but who was a joy at parties and lit them up, dead.

Kieran, his body mutilated and holding the signs of torture he experienced before death. Kieran who had escaped the O'Driscolls and whom Charles was slowly starting to warm up to, the man who really just wanted to be with his horse.

Hosea shot through the chest whom he knew was a father figure to many. Hosea who was a stablizer in camp, the one teaching Jack to read, the one helping Dutch plan, but still had enough silliness in his old bones to create Felton.

Lenny, young Lenny, who was just trying to survive, Lenny who finally felt like he had found a home but was shot on the top of the roofs and whom they had to leave.

Molly O'Shea who really only wanted love, who wanted affection from a man who had none left to give, shot mercilessly through the chest. Charles would be smart enough to know that there was truly no reason he was torching her body and not laying it in the ground.

Miss Grimsaw, who although a bit aggressive, truly only wanted what was best for the group and who always made sure that they took care of themselves.

Eagle Flies who fought so hard for what he believed in, for a world where his people could live, but who ended up victim to Dutch's manipulation just like Charles had.

And Arthur, Arthur Morgan who was the only person that had helped Charles actually try to save the natives. Arthur Morgan who had gone out of his way, who had disobeyed Dutch Van Der Linde, a criminal so filthy he is in songs and novels, to help Charles Smith, a man who was looked down upon for the mere color of his skin, help his people.

I want you to bury you friendgroup, your support system, one by one and act like it doesn’t affect you.

[fanfictiongirlie]

Marvel: Unplanned Chapter Fourteen

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader (First person written though)

Description:

"It says...it says it's positive doll" His voice matching mine in a quiet shaky whisper.

"Fuck... I'm pregnant?"

"Yeah doll, you're pregnant"

"Fuck" I whisper.

Rating: Explicit

Chapter Warnings: Swearing

Chapter Words: 1,364

Sorry for the long wait! I had a dental procedure, so I haven't felt like being on my pc. Enjoy! <3

It was the day before Jamie's first birthday and I was in the Avengers common room decorating. Bucky watched me, leaning against the wall, his eyes watching my every move. He tried to help, but I told him off for doing it wrong too many times. I hung streamers and balloons everywhere, the room was full of colour. His arms were crossed and a look of amusement was over his face as he watched me. 

"Can't believe our girl is gonna be one" I mutter, knowing he could hear me still. Bucky lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head in disbelief. 

"Me neither, it feels like you were only just pregnant and now we have a one year old" He adds. 

"I know, it feels so sad, but so happy at the same" I say finishing up the last of the decorations. Bucky walks over to me, standing behind me, his arms wrapping around my waist, holding me close to him. He rests his chin on my shoulder. I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a second, feeling him, allowing myself a moment to breath and feel content for a moment in his arms. 

"Yeah, it's bittersweet, happy to see how much she's grown, sad that she's growing up fast" He mumbles, his words soft as he speaks. 

"I know, I love our girl" I add. I feel him hug me a little tighter, his chest pressed against my back, his body wrapping around mine protectively. 

"Our little girl, our Jamie" Bucky whispers. 

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

And then, it was the next day, the Avengers were in the common room with us, minus a few whom were on missions. And Jamie, was sat on the floor surrounded by way too many toys. She giggled happily playing with her new things. I bit my lip smiling widely. Bucky sat on the floor by Jamie, helping her play. I watched him fondly, his eyes shone with pride and fatherly love as he watched her. He glances my way, smiling widely at me. 

"Happy birthday sweet girl" I whisper to her as I stroke her hair softly. I watched as she grabbed another toy and turn to wave it in my face, excitement over her face. 

"Wow baby, that's so cool" I smiled to her. Jamie continued to grab toys and show me, a little giggle would leave her lips when I told her they were cool. 

"What one is your favourite?" I asked her, Jamie looked from me to her toys, she grabbed the little fuzzy bear plush she was gifted and held it close to her chest, cuddling it. 

"And who got you that baby?" I asked. Bucky smirked and reached to Jamie pulling her close to his chest "Dada got you that sweet girl" He grinned. 

"Yeah he did" I smirked, watching Bucky cuddle her close to him. 

"So when's the next baby due?" Sam asked, I looked over to him glaring slightly. Bucky choked on his breath slightly, his eyes widening in surprised, he looked over to me. 

"There isn't one, thank you very much" Bucky says. 

"And there won't be one" I add. Bucky looks grateful at my words, which made me feel better, we hadn't spoken about it, but I didn't want anymore. 

"Yeah, no plans for any more kids, Jamie's enough for us" Bucky says, smiling down at her. 

"And birth was traumatising, I never want to go through that again" I add, cringing at the memory. Bucky nods in agreement, the same cringing look over his face. He reaches to me, resting his hand on my leg, calming me down, I shake the memory from my head and smile down at him and Jamie. Sam luckily didn't answer us after that, he looked like a kid that had just been told off. 

Finally we sang to Jamie and had her birthday cake, Bucky and I helped her blow the candles out, since she had no clue what to do. We gave her a piece of the cake, it was the first time she had sugar so I was a little nervous, but she devoured it, making a huge mess of herself in the process. She had icing all over her face, her hands were sticky and there were cake crumbs everywhere. Bucky looked at me, a smile playing on his lips. 

"Seems like our girl likes cake" He chuckles. 

"She's so goofy" I giggle, taking a picture of her. Bucky grins, enjoying the sight of her covered in cake just as much as I was enjoying it. 

"She sure is....And messy, but it's her birthday, so it's allowed!" Bucky smiles fondly at Jamie. 

"Dibs not bathing her!" I call out, smiling widely at Bucky. He looks at me with a fake grumpy face. 

"Oh no doll, no way! You've got this one, I'll take diaper duty any day over bathing sticky sugar off her!" 

"I'll take that!" I grin, fisting the air, Bucky grins back his eyes full of amusement. 

"You sure about that? You know she's gonna splash, get water and bubbles everywhere?" He asks. 

"Yeah, but she's gotta poop that cake out, and now that's a you problem" I say smirking. Bucky groans, his expressing turning comically pained at the thought. 

"Oh god... I take it back! I'd rather deal with the war of bubbles than poopy diapers" He groans. 

"Too late!" I smile poking my tongue out. Bucky laughs and shakes his head in defeat. My eyes went back to Jamie, who was licking the icing off her arm. Everyone laughed, happy to see Jamie so happy and enjoying her birthday. Once the birthday excitement was over, I was in the bathroom with Jamie, she laid in her tiny bath inside the bath as I washed the cake from her brown hair. 

"So messy" I mutter, she giggles and squirms in the bath, splashing the water everywhere, she reached for one of her bath toys and splashed it against the water causing it to land on me. 

"Silly girl, I guess dada was right, wasn't he?" I said fondly to her. She splashes me again, Bucky then appears in the doorway, leaning against the doorway, watching the two of us with a smile. 

"I told you, messiest baby ever" He grins. 

"Don't listen to dada" I say to Jamie as I pour more water over her hair. Bucky feigns hurt, his hand pressing against his chest as he pretends to be wounded. I giggled softly looking at him, our eyes meeting, playfulness in both sets. 

"Dada" A little voice just spoke, I looked to Jamie, my eyes wide. Bucky moved from the door to crouch next to me, we both looked at Jamie, shock in our eyes, smiles on our lips. 

"Did she just... Doll, did she just say dada?" Bucky asks, his voice higher than usual.

"She did...Jamie, say it again" I said, stroking the baby's cheek softly. "Say dada"

"Dada!" She giggled saying it again, obviously enjoying the attention she was getting from both me and Bucky. Bucky held his hand to his chest, his mouth open in shock. He looked like he might cry. 

"Oh Bucks, her first word" I say, tears burning my eyes. Bucky's eyes grew misty, his voice a little choked with emotion.

"Yeah doll, her first word...and it's dada!" He grins proudly. 

"Yeah baby...dada...now say mama" I giggle to Jamie, she looks from Bucky to me, her little face scrunching, she babbles for a moment. 

"Dada" She giggles. Bucky lets out a shaky laugh. 

"No baby, mama" I giggle, Bucky joined in saying mama to her. Finally after a little bit of trying, Jamie said mama. She said it with such excitement in her voice, enjoying me and Bucky giggling with her. Bucky and I cheered her when she said it, she was snuggly in her bathrobe when she finally said it, clinging to both me and Bucky whilst we sat on the couch. We spend the evening giggling as she called mama and dada. 

"We've got a talkie girlie now love" Bucky grins. 

"Yeah we do Bucks" I say smiling as I cuddled Jamie close to me. 

Taglist:

@quinquinquincy @jaybbygrl @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @learisa @hi172826 @ravennablue @purplecolordeer @a-small-blue-nebula @buckitostan @knyaotjjkbiatch

[marinettesaltprompts]

I don't really have an official prompt with this post, but I have had this idea for a while involving Adrien losing his ring because Ladybug doesn't think he's a good holder. It doesn't matter what is the reason, all that matters is that Ladybug never learns who Chat Noir actually is when she comes for the ring.

At first Adrien is both angry and upset about the situation, but eventually he manages to heal from it. He's eventually able to get over losing Plagg and finds himself having more free time without having to deal with akumas or patrols. He's able to connect with others again due to the lack of a secret identity, including Kagami (whom he previously messed up with due to said secrets).

On the flip side however, Ladybug can't find anyone to wear the Black Cat Miraculous for more than a few battles. Outside of those who simply didn't have the combat experience needed to use a miraculous, the few that Ladybug was able to last on the battlefield eventually quit, either because they couldn't handle Ladybug's "strategies" or because they had gotten traumatised after one of Hawkmoth's akuma effectively killed them.

However, despite all her failures, she never once attempts to find or get in contact with whoever was Chat Noir. Despite everything she has gone through, he was obviously still a bad choice!

Eventually, another Hawkmoth attack leaves Ladybug without anyone willing or capable to use the ring of the Black Cat, so when the next akuma appears, she tries a gamble.

Adrien is running away from the akuma battle with Kagami when Ladybug lands in front of them both. Adrien is calm (though inwardly still hurt), when Ladybug gives Kagami the Dragon Miraculous, but any calm he has is shattered when Ladybug turns to him, carrying an all too familiar miraculous.

Apparently Ladybug wants Adrien to be the next Cat Hero. Who would've thunk it?

To Ladybug (and Kagami's) shock, Adrien refuses the ring outright. At first Ladybug tries to butter him up with the opportunity to use the power to help others as well as save his friends, but Adrien still refuses. Eventually, whatever composure Ladybug has vanishes, as she all but begs Adrien to take the ring and help, to the point even Kagami is semi-helping, wondering why Adrien doesn't fight given his own physical skills.

Eventually, the akuma approaches their location, and Ladybug is all but screaming for Adrien to take the ring.

Adrien: I don't care! There's other people who would be more than happy to have superpowers! Go after them instead.

Ladybug (half crying): I-I don't have anyone else! (Adrien and Kagami are shocked at learning this) I've already tried finding other people to wield the Cat Miraculous and none of them worked out. E-either they couldn't handle the miraculous or they couldn't work as a partner. You've already shown that you are strong as a fighter and I don't have anyone else to ask! You are literally the last person I can ask that to take the ring so please take it!

Adrien: ... always the last person you want to talk to? Right Ladybug?

Ladybug is confused by this statement, but then lets it pass when he see's Adrien nod and takes the box. However, that smile fades when Adrien speaks again.

Adrien: ... just to be clear, I'm only doing this once, and that's because the akuma is close by. Once we are done here, don't ask me to come back again.

Adrien opens the box to find Plagg coming out of the box. Ladybug attempts to explain the power to him, but he doesn't listen, merely putting on the ring.

Plagg: Don't suppose this is a reunion?

Adrien: Not for long. Sorry.

Plagg: I figured. Bridge is too burnt huh?

Adrien sighs, then transforms.

He could have chosen another outfit or an alias, but Adrien is too fed up to care anymore. In this moment, the only thing he wants to do is show Ladybug WHY he's angry, and why he doesn't want the ring.

Kagami and (especially) Ladybug both can only stare in shock as Adrien transforms, as a million thoughts rush through their minds and both girls finally realise why Adrien didn't want the ring back.

In Adrien's place stands none other than Chat Noir.

And he's not smiling.

"...Well, you got what you wanted. Lets save the city then. One last time, right partner?

(That's all for now, please let me know if you want this prompt continued. Happy new year.)

[dialoverswritesssx]

Headcannons for Laito (just like generally)

some silly , some fluff some mature.

-I think that laito would be a very clean person (just overall ) taking care in his appearance and showering regularly

-is the type to wear perfume

-would be ok (and perhaps even enjoy ) his s/o putting makeup on him or doing his nails. Not because of the makeup aspect but because its something differernt that he hasnt tried before , also the attention his partner would be giving him , laito would try hold eye contact and make his face follow you around so that you would have to look at him

-wants to be percived as a happy/funny/unserious person. We kinda see this in the anime but when you know about laitos past , he actually really cares for people : his brothers and cordelia (but thats abit more complex) I saw a great post on this but i carnt remember from whom.

-Right so its cannon on how he has a fear of bugs , but I think laitos more afraid of how they move , like he thinks spiders are the worst because of the way they have their legs move ewww

-Throws away partners when bored / too serious . Yeah. One thing about laito is the way he gets bored easily ( partially from being immortal ) , he hates clingy women , becuase of his views on them . In one of his endings he tells yui to stop resisting becuase in the end all women want someone to look after them. I think that also once he has "broken" a partner , the chase is no longer intresting and disgards them .

-Is a sadist so will hurt partners . ( HAVE U SEEN THIS GUY ANGRY IN ANY OF HIS ROUTES , A ANGRY LAITO IS NOT A GOOD LAITO)

-would go *at it * anytime anywhere with anyone at anyplace . ( in the games he belives it to be more fun if one of his bothers joines in but not azusa for some reason??)

-hates anyone who wears flip-flops ( gives that vibe)

-WOULD NOT LET U CUT , DYE OR STYLE HIS HAIR ITS THE ONLY THING OFF LIMITS

-keeps familiars on his partner at all times

-is good with kids but would never have any ( would be VERY protective if he did but , doesnt want that responsibility also fear of traumatising them lolll )

thats all let me know secenarios to do next !!! Ill try write anything just keep it intresting ! ( no richter tho ) sorry for any spelling mistakes and if you disagree / have questions feel free to ask and correct me !!!

PLEASE GIVE ME IDEAS (DL ONLY )

[witchezandwonderz]

Echoes of the Past

Pairing: Sihtric x Reader

Request: Can I request a Sihtric fic please? Number 24 😊I know you're an Aethel-stan but I'll take crumbs at this stage

Prompt quote: “Your touch is like a blade, cutting through all my defences."

Thanks for your request @leftoverp1zza I'm sorry if it's short!

Likes, reblogs and comments are unbelievably appreciated! :)

The day had been excruciatingly long, and the night had been creeping up on Sihtric for what felt like hours. He was so unbelievably tired that he relied completely on his horse to transport him from a near village, where he was sent to collect some goods, back to Rumcofa. The journey should not have taken as long as it had, but when Sihtric had arrived at the nearby village, there were complications with the goods; much to Sihtric’s dismay- it meant his journey and timings were pushed back.

Silence surrounded him, for all he could hear were his horses hooves crunching into the twigs and debris on the floor beneath him. The sun sat wedged on the dark sea line, now barely there and seeming to be eaten by the waves. Sihtric could not help but feel as though the world around him currently felt eerie, like something was not right. But then again, he felt like this often- that is what trauma will do to you.

Shaking the negative thoughts, he cracked his horses reigns in order to encourage him to speed up, he longed for a warm fire and a strong cup of ale. Or any type of ale, he could not be picky these days.

Sihtric knew he was nearing Rumcofa, for he was nearing a village that although he had never been too, travelled past nearly every day- Uhtred had sent him on many lone tasks recently. Sihtric felt strangely about this, although he was happy that he was trusted to carry out tasks alone, the consequences evoked many negative emotions within him: fear, anxiousness and loneliness.

A nearby scream rang out, in turn, all birds flocked in a panic away from the area. Sihtric stopped his horse in its tracks, instinctively pulling his sword from its scabbard. Squinting his eyes and analysing the area that surrounded him, another blood curdling scream echoed throughout the forest, and then another, and then another.

It became painfully obvious that the nearby village was being attacked, by whom, Sihtric was not sure. He urged his anxious horse forward, his heart pounding in his chest. Why did these things always happen to him?

The screams and yells grew louder as he approached the edge of the village, ensuring that he was covered by foliage, he peered through the undergrowth the bush and saw the chaos that was unfolding: raiders. With their faces muddy and their weapons coated with thick scarlet blood, Sihtric watched as they pulled men, women and children from their homes and murdered them in cold blood.

He wanted to help, he longed too. But it was not realistic, if he marched in there in attempt of being a hero then he would likely get killed along with the poor souls, which would be truly ridiculous- plus, Uhtred would kill him twice over. Sihtric took a deep breath, an ongoing battle playing out within his mind- head or heart? Letting out a visible sigh, and deciding to definitely walk away, Sihtric encouraged his horse to turn around and exit the area.

Once he turned, and now faced the darkened forest, he noticed a figure running through the trees. He smiled slightly- at least one person had managed to escape the blood shed. He decided to investigate, in the hopes to help of course, but mainly to make himself feel better; he could at least help one person if not all.

He tried to be as quiet as possible, for he did not want to scare the already traumatised person- for all he knew, it could have been a child. The person in question peered over their shoulder, and when they noticed Sihtric following them, broke out into a sprint.

Sihtric guided his horse with precision, weaving through the thick trees as the figure darted erratically ahead. He could see more clearly now—this was no child. The person moved with speed and purpose, their cloak flowingfreely behind them, revealing flashes of long hair that glinted in the dim forest light. Whoever they were, they were terrified, and Sihtric’s heart ached with the thought that they might mistake him for another threat.

“Stop!” he called out, his voice firm but not unkind. “I mean no harm!”

The figure didn’t stop. If anything, they ran faster, their path erratic as they ducked under low branches and leapt over fallen logs. Sihtric cursed under his breath and spurred his horse onward, determined to catch up.

It wasn’t until the figure stumbled—tripping on an exposed root and tumbling to the ground—that he finally closed the distance. Pulling his horse to a halt, Sihtric dismounted in one fluid motion and approached cautiously, hands raised to show he held no ill intent.

“Are you hurt?” he asked, keeping his voice low and steady.

The person scrambled to their feet, clutching a dagger they’d drawn from beneath their cloak.

"Please, do not hurt me, just let me go." The woman said firmly, as she clutched a dagger with both hands. Sihtric froze, his gaze locking on hers. His breath caught in his throat.

It was a woman.

Not just any woman.

"Y/N?" Sihtrics words escaped as barely a whisper, disbelief clouding his thoughts. The woman hesitated before stepping closer to him, slowly, in an attempt to gain a better look at his face, for they were now surrounded by complete darkness.

"How do you know my name?" She murmured, clearly trying to stop her voice from shaking; she did not like appearing fearful.

Sihtric’s heart pounded in his chest, a mix of disbelief and recognition flooding through him. He took a hesitant step closer, lowering his sword slightly as if a part of him feared this wasn’t real—that she might vanish like smoke if he moved too quickly.

“It’s me,” he said, his voice raw, searching her face for any sign of acknowledgment. “It’s Sihtric.”

Y/N's heart dropped, so much so that she thought it may fall out of her completely. She opened her mouth to speak, but Sihtric interrupted her.

"You were dead, they told me that you were dead." He said, disbelief laced within his voice. He stepped closer, staring at her face, her beautiful face that had been replaying within his head for years.

Y/N stepped closer to him. "No, you were dead. They told me that you were dead." She shook her head. "I have mourned you, I never stopped mourning you." Her voice broke, as tears formed in her eyes.

Sihtric’s chest tightened at her words, and for a moment, he couldn’t breathe. He reached out, his fingers trembling as though afraid she might vanish if he touched her. “I thought I’d lost you,” he murmured, his voice cracking. “For years, I—” He stopped, the weight of his grief and relief colliding, rendering him speechless. His right hand held her cheek, delicately, as if he was still worried that she would disintegrate at the slightest touch. Instead, she closed her eyes, taking a deep inhale of air, savouring the moment that she had spent years longing for.

Despite feeling elated that his lost love was alive, he could not help but feel an overwhelming amount of anger at the plot of the awful people in his past that convinced him to be true. Why would anyone want them to be apart, in such a cruel manner.

"You look different." She stated, observing him. The bright eyed innocent man she once knew had been replaced by a much sadder, more serious one.

Sihtric let out a small laugh. "I suppose I do look different, but so do you." He smiled, using a finger to remove loose strands of hair from her face. "You look stronger, like a warrior."

She laughed at his words. "Yeah, some warrior I am. Letting my whole village burn and what do I do? I run." She sat on a nearby log, patting the spot next to her for him to follow suit.

"You did what was best." He replied, following her silent orders and sitting next to her- as closely as he could. He turned to look at her. "Did you have an, erm" He scratched the back of his head, unsure of how to ask the question lingering in his mind. But he had forgotten the connection that they shared, she had a peculiar way of reading his mind.

"A family?" She finished his sentence. He nodded, placing his hand on hers. She shook her head. "no." She admitted, looking down at the ground before her. "I have spent the past few years moving from place to place. But I have been here for a while, I had good friends here." She paused. "Do you have a family?"

Sihtric leant down, and lightly held her chin, prompting her to sit up once again and look at him. "No." He whispered, pain obvious within his tone. They looked at each other, really looked at each other- analysing each others faces, appreciating for a better word. Sihtric leaned even closer towards her, and pecked her lips. But one kiss was not enough, and she was an addiction for him- she always had been. They had grown up together, they were each others first everything's- first kiss, first hug, first rant, first time bedding- first everything. The day that he was told she had been killed was the worst day of his life- a nightmare that continued until fifteen minutes prior, where it had been replaced by a dream- one that he had imagined a multitude of times before.

Y/N hesitated slightly. “Sihtric, I can’t help but fear that we have both become different people.” She sighed. Sihtric gave a slight nod in agreement. “Well, of course we have. It has been, what? Seven years now.”

Y/N smiled as the fond memories came flooding back- they truly had a great time together. Over the years, Y/N had often tried to think of the bad memories with Sihtric; the happy memories were far too painful. However, there were little bad memories- for the only bad memory that she had with him was when she had been told that he was dead. Or the one time that he didn't like the way one of his friends had looked at her and the conversation that he had seen you have, which was when you were very young. Sihtric had always been the perfect partner; he was loyal, funny, sweet, romantic and always knew how to make her feel as though she was the only woman in the entire world.

"Yes, seven years." She nodded. "What have you been doing?"

Sihtric laughed at her question, where should he start?

"lots, my love, lots." He shimmied closer, putting a hand around her to try and shield her from the bitter cold. "But the main thing is that I met Uhtred, he is a good man. I am loyal to him."

Y/N hummed in response. "I have heard stories of this Uhtred- both good and bad" She stated. Sihtric's head tilted to the side. "Yes, well, it depends who you are talking too. Anyway, you will be able to decide your opinion for yourself when you meet him."

Y/N's brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I assume you will be coming back with me?" Sihtric asked, panicking at the awaited response. He had assumed that Y/N would come back with him. But what if she did not want to? What if she had moved on?

Y/N smiled broadly at him. "What if I said no?" She smirked, playfully bumping his shoulder with hers. Sihtric ruffled her hair. "Then my heart would break and I would cry." He passed off his words as a joke, but they both knew his seriousness.

"Of course I will be, if you will have me. I cannot be without you, not again." She shook her head and buried herself within his tunic. Sighing, he kissed the top of her head and gently, wrapped his arms around her warmth seeping into him. He sighed, resting his chin atop her head and pressing another soft kiss to her hair. “I’ll always have you, Y/N. Always.”

“Your touch,” Sihtric murmured, his voice trembling slightly, “it’s like a blade, cutting through all my defenses.” He took a deep breath, refamiliarising himself with her scent. "But I would not have it any other way. I cannot believe this is happening."

She looked up at him, her expression blank but her eyes sparkled brighter than any star in the sky. "Good, that is my job." She spoke sweetly, before leaning up and gently pressing her lips onto his. "I can't believe it either, it is like a strange dream."

Sihtric's lips curved into a proud smile. "I finally have my woman back." His words coming out at a louder volume than intended.

Y/N laughed, before quieting him down, reminding him that they are not far from the raiders. Sihtric hopped off of the damp log, holding his hand out for Y/N to take.

"Come on, let's get warm. I have many people to introduce you too and we have many things to talk about."

[sugar-grigri]

Ok so about Johan why did he exactly kill the fortners?I understand why he left her at the fortners but then why did he come back after 9 years and kills them and hhen he wants to see her? Like what was his plan exactly

The tragedy of being one

This is the tragedy of twins: Johan is obsessed with the idea of being Nina and Nina being him, a single being separated into two entities, but a single being nonetheless.

Shoot me. You are me and I am you.

What Johan wants for Nina is not for her sake, but for her to remain himself. Or more precisely, as her identity has been suppressed by her mother, to be Nina.

Johan isn't angry with Tenma for saving him, but he knows that by saving the monster, Tenma himself has prevented Nina from finding happiness.

You saved my life 9 years ago. Have you already forgotten about the twins?

There's something that I find is often overlooked in the analysis of the beginning, and which will be of vital importance later on. Tenma had to answer a dilemma, save the mayor or save a little boy, but in reality, another silent dilemma arose immediately afterwards, save Johan or save Nina? Because in reality, throughout the work, Tenma is trying to make up for his mistake, not just saving Johan, and therefore killing him as Nina had aspired to do, but also saving Nina whom he had condemned. 

Who was she trying to save ? Me ? Or my sister? Which of us ?

It's clear from the beginning that as long as Johan is close and alive, even in a comatose state, Nina is no more. The little girl in hospital needs to heal, just like her brother. The climax of all this comes when Johan ‘wakes up’ and Nina faints. They can no longer be two, they are condemned to be one. 

It's towards the end that we realise that this dilemma has conditioned the twins' existence: who between Johan and Nina? Tenma will have to answer the question. If he doesn't kill Johan, it's not just because he's afraid to kill, it's because he doesn't know how to answer it.

If Johan had actually been killed by Nina that night, Nina would finally have been happy, because the monster would no longer be there. Above all, death was the only way for Johan to be "happy", because Nina is him, and if she is happy, he would have been happy. But if he lives, he's not cut out for happiness. And because Nina is him, she can't hope for happiness and a loving family.

Johan contacts Nina as Prince Charming on his white horse who will cover Nina with flowers. It sounded weirdly romantic, but in reality the symbolism is something else. In the apocalypse, Death is a white knight. And the flowers only evoke those placed on graves for mourners. Johan wants to cover Nina in flowers. Or lose his loved ones.

Don't tell me you think Prince Charming on his white knight is going to come and get you ?

For Johan, attacking the Fortners was inevitable. The name alone is a problem : Fortner. People who gave Nina a name. A name that she's not supposed to have. Giving herself an identity is what sets Johan apart. And he won't allow it. To return, he has to empty this identity.

It is for this symbolic reason that Nina suffers from amnesia. Obviously because she's traumatised. But also because the more she embraces Nina, the less she is Johan, so the more her memories of him crumble.

That's why, automatically, when Johan kills the Fortners, Nina remembers having killed him. Suddenly faced with death (the white knight) and loneliness (smother with flowers), Nina remembers the existence of her twin, Johan.

I killed him.

Why did Johan wait so long ? I think we still need to answer this from a philosophical point of view. Johan wanted to see Nina again. She is him, he is her, she is the only being that matters. But the Fortners were just in the way.

Are they really on their way when they didn't really know about this meeting? They have in themselves interfered by giving Nina a name. Johan is nevertheless concerned about Nina's happiness because I think he really tried to give her access to a form of healing and peace. He wanted to die so that she could be happy without the monster inside him. Then, when she rejected him in hospital, he let her live without him.

I'd also like to point out that Johan changed his motivation after recovering some of his memories. Which will in fact be Anna's. By reading the story about the nameless monster. Before that, I think Johan's amnesia gave him a kind of block. And he himself was afraid of what he described as a monster. Who was actually Bonaparte visiting them at the Liebert house.

Johan could never trust adults so he didn't trust the Fortners any more.

You'll run away so the monster doesn't catch you.

I think Johan's conclusion was that the only person he could trust was Doctor Tenma. So he left it to him to explore a past that he wanted to keep forgotten. I think he really did entrust Nina to him at the castle. Because Johan was there! He shot the henchman who was going to kidnap Nina. He was there when Nina met Tenma.

Why didn't he show up? Because he realised that Nina wasn't ready. Because she fainted when she saw him. She couldn't see Johan, the reflection of a past she didn't have the key to.

He killed the Fortners on Nina's birthday. A random date set for a nameless orphan with no history. Johan came to give meaning to this birthday. The day of Anna's rebirth.

And Johan's rebirth. Everything he did, he did for himself too. He has no name. Nina had to lose her family, she had to have a name without any substance. What are the Fortners without their parents? There is no longer a Fortner family.

The nameless monster simply ate his escaped second half.

One went east, the other west.

Then the monster who had gone west said to him. We don't need a name. You can be very happy without a name. Because we are the nameless monsters.

The little boy ate the monster from the west.

[lights-out-knives-out]

New fab whump ideas

Soo it would take place after like Whumpee’s recovery arc so they’re all good now, only lightly traumatised. But they’ve got a job now (thinking maybe actor or musician for this prompt) but you know how famous people have fan meets where they sign photos and stuff.

So Whumpee is signing away but then a fan passes them a photo, not from on or their shoots. But of them tied up/bound/gagged/beaten bloody/heh maybe even naked. (You know whatever strikes your fancy) and Whumpee is just shocked, how has a fan gotten their hands onto this, the only person to have a copy of this is whumper.

And then everything goes quiet as Whumpee looks up to see whumper (be funny if they’re decked out in whumpee’s merch) but like saying something “can you make it out to Whumper, your biggest fan” and maybe “to whom I owe everything” dunno stuff about how whumper made them who they are yada yada. But yeah