#yes it's the same writing
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ghost car of barna road
track 2 - slop 1/2
i woke up early and stashed last night's bottle of whiskey into my backpack. the sky was a turbulent cyan, beyond the window of my childhood bedroom. aside from a single suitcase all my things were still in the car. there was no dress change until i brough the boxes in.
but coffe first.
i opened the door on a dark empty staircase, walked the 2 steps toward the creaking stairs, bumped my head on a decorative element, slipped, cussed, got to the kitchen and reached for the kettle just in time for an assault.
someone yelled and barelled towards me.
i threw the kettle at them.
glass and tiny elecrical parts scattered over the floor to my cried. “what the fuck, mom!!! what the actual fuck!!! jesus, for fuck’s sake!!!”
“fiadh?”
“yes!” i yelled, pushing my shaking hands into my hair while sampling the damage. “of course it’s me, who the fuck do you fucking think it could be?!!”
cool and collected my mother lowered the decorative giraffe statue she was armed with and smoothed out her mauve nightgown. “there are break-ins now, you know. dangerous criminal elements. the news said so.”
i glowered at her. “where would the fucking criminal element get the keys?”
“don’t cuss,’ she replied. then, turning to the stairs called up, “it’s fiadh, mark! tell the garda everything is alright, now”
i sighed, lowering my face into my palms while she stashed away her girrafe and enveloped me in a tight hug. her body felt warm and small. she used to be so much taller than me. she used to be taller than the world.
i pulled away, attempting a smile that felt short. “coffe?”
“oh, i’m afraid the kettle is busted.”
“i can use a top,” I proposed, opening a cupboard and looking in. i wondered where, among all this colourful junk, will i ever be able to stash my earless prague mug.
my mom pursed her lips. “well… they have kettles at lidl this week.”
i stopped and pulled my head back to look at her. if her face was any indication she was not fucking joking. “it’s quite early and…”
“they open in 4 minutes.”
“are you seriou…”
“yes, now that i think about it there is this one cyan option i've had my eye on…”
“mom, i didn’t have my coffee yet and this is just…”
“yes, baby,” she said in a very calming voice, pointing at a supermarket ad, ‘that is why we need the kettle, see? oh, and while you’re there maybe grab some eggs and rolls? i’ll make us a nice omellete.”
#simblr#ts4 story#s:gcbr#oc:fiadh#oc:ann marie#if you remember my writing vomit mid summer#yes it's the same writing#i started barna road in summer and got too excited#so i decided to put it out here#but also this was in my drafts because i couldn't do pics#for months#i still hate these pics but#man i want to share the good stuff#the brian stuff#so we need to push on lads#we push on ahahah#also ann marie is my mom and they should both be hospitalised lol
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the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"
just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible
#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order#at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers#90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies”#serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent#like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries#but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate#and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited...#i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something#cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare#and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest.#it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!'#'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members...#..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)'#anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language?#maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity#and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media#and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons#and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators#instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period#anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value”#and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives#so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs)#happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world#(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills)#and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on...#...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin#oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works?#beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value#and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the#important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)
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edit (10/23/2024) now that the poll is over: Original version, with 10 questions, from April 2023 here
And, given that the original is from April 2023, that means I can very easily say:
No, this was not an ISAT reference!
Just because I use parentheses and 2nd person pov and love the same concepts of what a time loop can do to a person doesn't mean it's ISAT
(Yes, I like ISAT, the original poll is why I was recommended the game! But if you look at the original, you can see all the origins of the options to choose from, including what spurred me on with the moss option from the replies)
If I were going to make something for ISAT, I would never be so vague, you can simply look at my ao3 for proof of that
#egg speaks#writing#polls#my writing#egg writes#my polls#poetry#time loops#listen I want to run this again#time loop poll#<- check that tag on my blog for the original 10 option version lmao#unreality#you know I didn't think I'd get fed up with people making isat jokes about this#I thought it'd be like oh hey neat same hat#we both like the same game#but people keep going “oh this is JUST an ISAT reference”#as if it's not a genuine work of creativity I did myself. it feels a bit devaluing#“op you played isat” yes but that came after the original!!!!!#I KNOW it's not meant like that but I want people to engage in my work as its own thing. you can make jokes about similar media!!!#but this is it's own thing!!!!#I want people to like it for what it is. I want people to enjoy it outside of other media. I want it to stand on its own#I'm flattered someone said it was good enough that they think it could be narration from the game and read just as well!!!!#but like. idk. all the other medias popping up (pmmm. orv. higurashi. etc) aren't people calling it a /reference/#if I wanted it to be an ISAT reference I would have tagged it originally. I would have targeted it toward ISAT fans more intentionally.#I love fanworks but this was an ode to time loops alone. I wanted people to think. to have to CHOOSE. I wanted PARTICIPATION#time loops as a narrative and as horror and as a group activity via polls on tumblr. also s/o to the person who said 40 hr work week so tru
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they tried to rebrand as The Criminals but riz is literally the city council's treasurer and also turns out people in their late 20s don't really name their friend groups. so now they're The Intrepid Heroes
#fantasy high#figueroth faeth#kristen applebees#adaine abernant#gorgug thistlespring#fabian seacaster#riz gukgak#yes this is sorta from the same thing Ive been doing for future!riz lol. that riz is the same design basically#just the above board sona#u can kiiinda tell which of the bad kids I have a very clear vision for their future design and which I kinda wing it for lol#kristen's tank top is white and the coat is galaxy tie dye btw. I didnt have the energy to express that in ink but thats the ult version#adaine I truly imagine to grow up to be the perpetual t shirt and jeans person but she carries her sword everywhere#gorgugs truth is that shes just hot she can wear anything. but I do give him the skirt hike bc I love him#I really like skirt hike... such a fun thing to put in designs. if ur garment has no variance in how it falls or drapes u can do it urself#this is also a little bit of an exercise in how much of an accessory I can freehand from memory#fig's bass I straight up did not fact check for. just rawdogging it memory only. same with fandrangor and adaine's crocs#I did write in my funny little document that gorgug takes up baking and is good at it bc I think itd be good for him#to do basically chemistry and math that also feeds people#out of them... kristen and riz would be Good good at it. but riz would get way too stressed abt the recipe and kristen bakes by#eyeballing the texture. fabian likes decorating but refuses to get anywhere near the heat of an oven. adaine isnt good at it first try#and is like well my effort goes to other things actually. fig Loves baking and Nobody lets her into the kitchen#idk why this manifests so clear in my head. must be bc of recent foccacia events#living in the subtropics is hell for baking nobody try it ok? I tell u
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Lost and found
Pairing: Five hargreeves x reader
Summary: You an Five discover more than just plants and strawberries in the greenhouse
Warning(s): kissing, fluff, nothing really
“What the hell is this place?” Five muttered, his voice tinged with suspicion.
“Beats me,” you replied, stepping further inside. “But it’s not like we’ve stumbled upon a better place than this one so far.”
The two of you had been on the run for what felt like an eternity. Your attempt to figure out the subway had gone sideways—again—and now you were stuck in this strange, green timeline with no clear path back.
Five stayed close as you ventured deeper into the greenhouse, his sharp eyes scanning every inch. “This doesn’t make sense. None of this should be here.”
You brushed your fingers against a nearby vine, feeling the life pulsing through it. “Maybe this is just a small piece of the world that refused to die.”
Five huffed, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “That, or we’ve stumbled into some kind of twisted fairytale.”
“Great. Does that make you the grumpy old troll under the bridge?” you teased.
“If I’m the troll, that makes you the annoying adventurer who won’t stop asking questions,” he shot back, though his tone was more fond than bitter.
As you explored, you found yourself drawn to a patch of strawberries growing along the far wall. They were perfectly ripe, a vibrant red that stood out against the greens and browns around them. Without thinking, you plucked one and popped it into your mouth, savoring the sweetness.
Five watched with raised eyebrows. “You sure that’s safe?”
“If it’s not, at least I’ll go out with a decent meal,” you replied, plucking another and offering it to him.
He hesitated, then took it, biting into the fruit with a thoughtful expression. “Not bad.”
“High praise from you,” you quipped.
There was a brief, comfortable silence as you both absorbed the strange beauty of this place. The tension that had been winding tighter and tighter over the past few days—or even years—slowly began to ease, the peacefulness of this place working its way into your entire being.
As you wandered deeper, you came across a patch of wildflowers bathed in golden sunlight. You knelt to touch them, their delicate petals soft under your fingers. “This feels like a dream,” you murmured.
“Or a trap,” Five countered, though his voice lacked its usual edge.
You looked up at him, catching an unguarded expression in his eyes,something softer, more vulnerable than you were used to seeing. “Five?”
He stepped closer, the sunlight casting a warm glow across his features. “You’ve always been fearless,” he chuckled,though his voice was quieter than usual.
You blinked in surprise. “What are you talking about? I’m not fearless, I’m—”
“You are,” he insisted. “And I should have told you sooner.”
“Five…”
“I’ve spent so much time trying to fix everything, trying to keep us all alive, that I forgot there are things I want, too,” he said, his gaze pined on you.
His words hit you like a punch to the gut as you realised what he was implying—not in a painful way, but in a way that left you breathless. You had always known there was something between you, a connection that went deeper than partnership or friendship, but his words still had that affect on you.
Without giving yourself time to overthink it, you reached up and pulled him into a kiss. It wasn’t rushed or frantic, but slow and deliberate, a promise in every brush of your lips against his. Five responded in kind, one hand slipping around your waist while the other cupped the back of your neck, holding you close.
The kiss deepened, his tongue teasing your lower lip before slipping into your mouth. You felt your knees weaken as a wave of heat washed over you, your fingers gripping the front of his shirt as if to support yourself. His hand slid down your back, pulling you flush against him as the kiss grew more intense, more desperate.
It was a kiss that spoke of everything you had both been holding back,years of unspoken feelings, of missed opportunities, all coming to the surface in this one, perfect moment.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathing hard, your foreheads resting against each other as you tried to catch your breath.
“I love you,” he said, his voice rough but certain.
You smiled, your thumb brushing against his jaw. “I love you too.”
For a moment, you both stood there in silence, the reality of what you had just confessed settling over you like a warm blanket. The world around you didn’t feel as interesting anymore, not when he was in front of you.
Five glanced around at the greenery, his expression contemplative. “You know, we don’t have to leave right away.”
You raised an eyebrow. “You want to stay?”
“Just for a little while,” he admitted, surprising you with the softness in his voice. “It’s been a long time since we’ve had a moment of peace. We could use the rest and some proper food.”
You looked around at the lush greenery, the golden sunlight filtering through the broken skylight, and felt a sense of calm settle over you. “Yeah,” you agreed, smiling up at him. “Let’s stay.”
With that decision made, the tension that had been a constant companion began to melt away. You found a spot to sit, leaning against a wall covered in ivy, and Five joined you, his hand finding yours and holding it tightly.
For the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself relax. No missions, no timelines, no disasters—just the two of you, in a place that felt almost unreal.
Five squeezed your hand, drawing your attention back to him. “You know,” he said, his voice low and teasing, “if we’re staying here, we might as well make the most of it.”
You grinned, leaning in to kiss him again, this time slower, savoring every second. “I couldn’t agree more.”
#five hargreeves#five hargreeves x reader#five hargreeves x you#tua x reader#tua five#x reader#fluff#gender neutral reader#x you#fix it fic#no Lila here#the umbrella academy x reader#the umbrella academy#tua season 4#tua s4#female reader#male reader#x gn reader#gn reader#Can you tell I’m a sucker for love confessions?#and kissing#fluffy#number five#No I won’t stop writing the same scenarios in different themes again and again#feedback is appreciated#fix it au#yes the greenhouse looks different so what
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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“Just the tip” and then him not being able to hold back because the pussy is just too good is one of the hottest things ever — I will die on this hill.
#bonus points if it’s because he hasn’t got protection >>>>#that shit just hits different I swear down#ain’t never a wrong way to write it 10/10#noncon dubcon con it literally always lands#and that internal guilt that they feel while at the same time they’re trying not to cum😩#esp when you’re the bad influence too like yes pls!!!!#‘it’ll be fine just pull out’ — like it’s that easy…#btw this would make such a good fic with enjin or follo just sayin >>>>
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NILLE BLAST
aaaa worked on these a while ago but!! i’ve got a pétronille design finally!! and it was nowhere near as daunting as i expected to be!!!! this was really fun to work on actually. don’t look at that leftmost doodle btw. it’s. Not Great (by my standards for myself at least).
aaaanyways. design notes and greyscale versions below!! most of this isn’t. super set in stone or anything? just Night Ramblings
in terms of colors she’s mostly just a Slightly Edited version of bonnie’s palette. the only noteworthy addition here is the blue (or. well. more like grey actually) i added to her shirt, hat, and waist wrap. no real reason here, i just thought it’d contrast well with her colors!!
i also kept her outfit pretty similar to bonnie’s! bonnie’s official ref mentions that their shirt is too big for them so! i think it’d be cute for all of their clothes to be hand-me-downs from nille🩶. i imagine she cares more about practicality than fashion, so her outfit’s pretty simple! breathable clothes she can move around in, a bag to hold her stuff, and a hat to keep the sun out her eyes.
generally went for more. blocky??? shapes here? i wanted to set her apart from bonnie! idk. not much to say here!
this didn’t affect her design That Much outside of the bandages on her hands, but she’s rock type here! it just Made Sense with her hammer. in hindsight i wonder if that influenced her design being more Square…
aaa you can probably tell i’m writing these while tired. sorry if these are even more disjointed than usual (somehow). here’s the greyscale versions!! thanks for reading and stuff!!
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#<- because. nille.#also yes. her hat and the bg really are the exact same value somehow#also didn’t mention this in the notes but. i Had to give her a braid#i just Had To. there’s not a design reason for that#also!! gave her sandals instead of boots like bonnie#since bonnie specifically points out how they wear massive boots. so i feel like it’s a thing they got themself#iii’ve got more thoughts but it is. 12:30 in the morning as of writing this#and this posts in like 30 minutes so i am! prolly gonna add more when i wake up tomorrow#please enjoy my nille ramblings heart emoji
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The Locked Tomb doesn't just feel as though it was written especially for me and my own personal enjoyment. It's also the series I always dreamed of writing when I was a kid... only to be told I was "way overthinking" my stories. I remember so clearly what they said.
"Don't obsess over the meanings of character names. don't make silly, 4th-wall-breaking references. what are these jokes doing here?don't make it so complicated. are you drawing your characters' clothing designs over and over again? shouldn't you be writing? why does it matter which numbers your weird character is assigned?" (6249D, btw.)
or: "This is too close to (movie, TV show, book). you're stealing. you're ripping it off. christ, knock it off with the thesaurus already. it's too weird. god, why are you so weird??"
eventually I stopped writing sci-fi/fantasy. it wasn't much fun as a 12-year-old being pushed to write like a 45 year old. I was constantly being praised for my writing ability, yet encouraged to remove anything that made it uniquely "me."
decades pass. I pick up GtN. love at first sentence. cleared my schedule. never looked back.
y'all, I can't explain how VALIDATING it is to read a writer who probably heard that shit over and over - likely her entire career! - and still said "Fuck you, I'm doing it however I goddamn please." Here we are, 3 bestselling, award-winning novels and 1 rabid fanbase later. fuck them indeed.
In the end, I never did become a writer. but reading TLT was something of a transcendental experience, feeling Seen in that way. like being told, for the first time,
"They were wrong. you can do anything you want. and it can be amazing."
so yeah. we do bones, motherfucker. choke on it.
#the locked tomb#tlt#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#tamsyn muir#writing#the locked tomb series#writer#for the record#i really did put a#homestar runner#reference into a story#yes#the same reference as muir#until i explained where it came from#and they made me take it out#fuck stifling creativity#let kids be#fucking weird
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drew this instead of working on my computer
#can yall drop some requests in my inbox while i sleep i dont wanna get burnt out from drawing the same white guy over and over again#creep coming on shuffle while im uploading this actually fucking comical#black christmas 1974#billy lenz#slashers#my art#sorry if this comes off as me woobifying him im not good at writing things down OOPS#yes i know his hair is like brown or whatever DONT CAREE#i just know his diagnoses would be fucking insane omg#toontown probably could have saved him if im being real#dont ask me to elaborate on that
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novella announcement: Cinder House
CINDER HOUSE: a Cinderella retelling, a ghost story, a queer romance (of course), a novella. Coming to you in October next year.
US preorder links here, others to come!
Alt text for the book copy below the cut:
Ella is a haunting.
Murdered at sixteen, her ghost is furiously trapped in her father's house, invisible to everyone except her stepmother and stepsisters.
Even when she discovers how to untether herself from her prison, there are limits. She cannot be seen or heard by the living people who surround her. Her family must never learn she is able to leave. And at the stroke of every midnight, she finds herself back on the staircase where she died.
Until she forges a wary friendship with a fairy charm-seller, and makes a bargain for three nights of almost-living freedom. Freedom that means she can finally be seen. Danced with. Touched.
You think you know Ella's story: the ball, the magical shoes, the handsome prince.
You're halfway right, and all-the-way wrong.
#cinder house#congrats tumblr#you get the only accurate release date graphic#fucked it up everywhere else#anyway!#is this another magical house book?#yes it is#me writing a gothic: what if house and ingenue#were the SAME CHARACTER#what then
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me writing fanfiction
#memes#fanfiction#ao3#well um yes this is about 'to defy a reality' what else#*looks at all my other fics* yeah....no other possible suspect for this meme#NO ONE else is experiencing trauma like these characters#what do you mean their all the same characters im writing abt#HAHAHAHAHAHA#HAHAHAHAHA whats this Oprah meme doing hre#no. really#im literally not. doing that to my characters.#hahaha what is she talking abt EVERYONE IGNORE HER
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mel mellohiizz............ can i beg for uu!parrot and uu!clownpierce art
i love the parallels between them, it's so fun to think about
#☆ request .#☆ my art .#unstable universe#parrotx2#clownpierce#also yes its lyrics from scylla from epic the musical#rewatched some parts of the episode recently#and i find the parallels and comparison very fun because i personally think they were both right#they are the same but they also aren't at the same time#it's a little complicated#parrot is just less unhinged and doesn't kill people#(yet /j)#i can do so much character study if someone kicks me to write again#would you guys think im insane if i start dropping character analysis posts?#idk if i will but that used to be another thing i really enjoyed doing#i used to write fanfiction too but i have not written anything in like two years i think#okay im done yapping
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
#writeblr#this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol#by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations#and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me#& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it#''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother#and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious#anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it#it's seen as the only important thing#even if ur gay#and it's a nuanced thing idk#and while rn i i.d. as lesbian#like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label#they're like GET in the BOX#if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)
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He's hiding, the half collapsed pillar in an abandoned office building, halfway ruined and completely left to collapse in metropolis.
His core is pulsing, air freezing and eyes not focused.
Metropolis is big and bright.
There is no way they could get him here, not with kryptonian heroes at its beck and call. Danny saw Supergirl save the day, the big blue at her tail, saving civilians.
Danny followed the official daily planet channel and reads along every line Lois Lane and her husband, Clark Kent, write each time, making people aware of problems, and most importantly exposing people.
The rich and corrupted.
So yes, is it frightening? Anxiety filling? Putting trust into complete strangers in hopes they'd uncover the Guys in White if they appear in the city?
Yes, yes it is.
He hopes Jon, the boy he has been helping with homework in a cafe, won't miss him too much in case it does happen.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#fic prompt#writing prompt#dc x dp prompt#METROPOLIS CE TRIC#did danny accidentally befriend the two superblys in civilian fashion?#yes he did#he didnt know they were LOIS LANE'S kids#hes such a fan of her#the superfam can hear his core and it brings worrie#qorries#worries#theyre quite confident hes just a slien in hiding#clark “bleeding heart” kent was so ready to pull out his kryptonian status just to reassure danny#Danny and Kara have spa days#dannys is like younger than Kon but older than Jon#KON AND JON???#their names literally thr same
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working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything
#like first you realize that You are making & doing things that you previously had thought - if you'd thought abt it at all - were automated#& you become incredibly aware of how all the materials you're working with came from somewhere - these plastic clips are from france; this#fabric is from india etc. and that there are people in factories there making those things and that they are also probably getting their#materials from somewhere#one of the little things that makes me think about this the most is we have these 50m rolls of cotton banding we see onto canvas & nets#and in theory it should be all one piece but sometimes it's actually two pieces which you discover when you get far enough in the roll and#find that there's a join where it's been stitched together by hand (!). which is a little annoying bc we can't use that bit so you have#to cut that but out & stitch it together again on the machine which interrupts what you were sewing before & slows you down But it's so#striking to me bc like it's really easy to look at this banding & it's so exactly the same & obviously machine made it's Really easy to#forget that there are people there running these machines. who notice there's a break & have to stop what they're doing & get a needle &#thread and stitch it together. by hand! like someone somewhere has handled exactly where I'm touching it & i don't even know where in the#world they are!#the other place this happens is often on the selvedge edge of the fabric there's writing in pencil i don't know ye meaning of but evidently#was important to the process somewhere & someone wrote that out#idk like it's really easy to watch those videos of really specific machines in factories & convince yourself that everything is automated#but the truth is the vast majority of stuff is not & is made by people doing that. & even when it is there are people running those machine#<- and i'm not saying this in a soppy way tbc. this whole system is a nightmare of exploitation & to some degree I'm just continually amaze#by how insane this whole process is & also how completely un-transparent it is unless you are made to think abt it#another thing is noticeable when you look at our orders that most of what we sell isn't to customers it's to shops who then sell to custome#which then makes you think like. those plastic clips from france are they actually made in france or are we just buying them from france?#are they actually made by underpaid people in a country the name of which is completely lost to the chain of production at this point#anyways none of this is new it's just when you are working in a factory using this stuff you start wondering like.#what's the factory like that the person who stitched this banding together like. what's their day like there#wish we could talk abt how fucked up this all is - for them especially probably - together#thoughts
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