#yes i know i suck at ending things
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Stuck in the middle of a forest made of
Flesh and bones and they're all scared of
A lost little boy who has lost his heart
Fear's not enough, they have to
Tear him apart —-------
There are two things Daniel Fenton knows that his family knows as well:
He’s adopted.
He can’t remember anything else before that.
‘Adoption’ is a loose term, implying that they went through the official legal processes and troubles of adopting a child into their home willingly, and with the full intention of doing so going into it. That is not what happened. What happened is that Jasmine Fenton found a half-dead child, in strange clothing, in the middle of the woods at her Aunt Alicia’s cabin, and then she went and got her parents.
What happened is that a twelve year old Danny woke up in the same cabin, wearing clothes much too big on him that didn’t belong to him, and with very little memory of before that moment. He wakes up like a spring being set loose, sitting up so fast he scares the daylights out of Jasmine Fenton sitting next to him. He wakes up, reaching for his sleeve for something that isn’t there, and when it isn’t his mind stutters, like he’s tripped at the top of a steep hill.
When they ask him for his name, he tells them, clearing muddled thoughts from his mind; Danny. He’s twelve.
(He thinks that’s his name, at least. It sounds right; it feels right. If he thinks really hard about it, he thinks he can remember someone calling him that, utter adoration in their voice. So it must be his name.)
The Jasmine girl convinces her parents to take him home with them, and they give him the spare guest room upstairs. He has nothing to fill it with.
It’s… a strange experience, to go to a ‘new’ home when he doesn’t even remember his old one.
The official adoption process… happens. He can’t say it’s easy, or difficult. He’s oblivious for the most of it, Jasmine intends on helping him settle in and Danny can’t say he enjoys the smothering. He learns that he is stubbornly self-independent, that’s one new thing he knows about himself.
His adoption papers say ‘Daniel J. Fenton’. Danny remembers staring at the name ‘Daniel’ for a long, long moment, something curdling sour in his sternum. His name is Danny, that he knows. But it’s not Daniel. But he doesn’t know any other way of saying it, so he keeps his complaints to himself.
(Jack Fenton boisterously claps his hand on Danny’s shoulder and jerks him around, grinning wide as he welcomes him into the Fenton Family. Danny’s mind blanches at the touch on his shoulder, an instinct snapping like the maw of a snake, telling him to cut off the man’s fingers for daring to touch him.)
(He keeps the thought to himself, tension rising up his shoulders the longer Jack Fenton’s heavy hand stays on him.)
They found Danny in the summer. It’s a perfect coincidence, Maddie Fenton says before she goes back into her lab with Jack Fenton. She says it’s enough time to allow Danny to adjust; that they’ll enroll him into the school year in the fall. Then she stuffs a canister of ectoplasm onto the top shelf, and disappears like the ghosts she studies back down the stairs.
(There’s something eerily familiar about the ectoplasm sitting in the fridge, something unsettlingly so. Danny knows what that stuff is, but he doesn’t know where. When the house is empty, he takes a can from the fridge and inspects it.)
Jazz wants him to leave the house. Danny doesn’t want to step foot outside of the FentonWorks building until he has something that quells the feeling of vulnerability he gets whenever he does. He tried to once, and he felt exposed. Unsafe.
He turned back around and went inside.
—-------
Where do we go
When the river's running slow
Where do we run
When the cats kill one by one
—------
One day, when the house is empty — or, as empty as it can be; the Fenton parents down in the lab, and jazz out with friends. Danny is making a sandwich, and he caves into the urge to flip the knife in his hands between his fingers. A childish impulse, but one he falls for nonetheless. It comes to him easily, like second nature, in fact. The slip of the blade between his fingers is seamless, flowing with an ease like water running down the wall.
He’s almost startled by it; his body holds memories that his mind does not. Muscles that know which way to move and twist, limbs that know how to hold and how to throw. He continues twirling it, fascinated, as if he were a scientist discovering a new species of animal.
It’s not for a handful of minutes when a new thought hits him; an impulsive thought that pops in the back of his mind like a firecracker; Danny moves without thinking.
He turns, and throws the knife. The pull of his shoulder, the flick of his elbow, is familiar like a hug. He knows when to let go, and the blade flies through the air in impressive speed, embedding itself into the wall with a hearty, loud thunk. Sinking into the drywall like butter.
Danny stares at it in shock, he feels relieved — about what? — before he feels the guilt. He scrambles across the kitchen to pull it out, heart racing in his chest at being caught, and prays no one notices the hole it left behind.
(He runs up the stairs before anyone can find him, food forgotten, and hides the knife beneath his mattress like a guilty murder weapon.)
After that, he leaves the house more. It’s more out of fear of being caught than the desire to leave. But Danny is quickly learning that among all things, he is someone who was dangerous, before he lost his memory. Even with his mind in fractures, he is still dangerous.
He’s not sure how to feel about that — he thinks he should be scared. He feels a little proud, instead.
—------
Hazel beneath our claws
While we wait for cerulean to cry
Unsettled ticks run through time
Enough for the hunt to go awry
—-----
There’s another thing he learns about himself. That he knows about since he woke up. He knows that he left someone behind. He doesn’t know who, but he knows they must have been close; he’s always looking down and finding himself surprised when the only shadow he sees is his own.
He thinks that he must have sung to them a lot; he finds himself humming familiar melodies when he’s lost in thought. Lullabies lingering at the tip of his tongue, an instinct to turn and sing them to someone beside him. He can’t remember the lyrics, but his mouth does, it tries to get him to say them when he’s not thinking. He can’t.
Danny’s found himself humming under his breath more times than he can count, trying to recall whatever it is his mind is trying to claw forward.
(“That’s a pretty song, Danny.” Jazz tells him at breakfast one day, Danny screws his mouth shut. He hadn’t realized he was humming. “What is it?”)
(Something mean and possessive rears its head on instinct, uncoiling like a snake from its ball. His shoulders hunch defensively, he bites his cheek to prevent himself from baring his teeth. He doesn’t know what song it is, but it’s not for her. “I don’t know.”)
He misses his person. Dearly. He knows, the longer he is without them, that they must have been close. Otherwise, he wouldn’t feel like he’s missing a chunk from himself. He wouldn’t be turning to someone who's not there; reaching for a hand that’s missing, birdsong on his tongue, a story to tell.
A dream haunts him one night. Warm and familiar, he’s holding onto someone smaller than him, they’re tucked into his side like a puzzle piece. He’s humming one of his songs that is always playing in the back of his mind, an unfinished tale of a harpy and a hare. Danny can’t remember their face, not all of it. He remembers green eyes, hair dark like his own, skin brown like his.
He loves them more than anything else in the world, a fact he knows down to his soul. He loves them so much it fills his heart with sunlight. Danny squeezes them tight, nuzzling into their hair; he makes them laugh. Then, he proudly boasts something. That when he takes something of their father’s, that his person — a sibling? That feels right — will be… the word fades from Danny’s mind before he can make sense of it.
His person hugs him tight, his… brother? And their mother — a woman whose face he can’t remember either, but who he loves like a limb nonetheless — appears, smiling. Her hands reach for them both, voice calling them, ‘her sons’. There’s ticking in the distance, it sounds like the fastening of chains.
Danny wakes up cold, tears streaming down his face. The details of the dream already fading from his mind like the cold pull of a corpse.
—-------
Harpy hare
Where have you buried all your children?
Tell me so I say
—-------
When school starts that Fall, Danny joins the sixth grade class, and quickly learns more things about himself. One of those things being that he’s smarter than the rest of his grade, whatever education he had before, it was better than the one he’s getting now.
Everyone knows he’s adopted right off the bat. He tells them when the teacher forces himself to introduce himself, but it’s not like they needed him to tell them for them to know; he never existed in their little world before now, and the Fentons are pale as they come. Danny is not.
He befriends Sam Manson and Tucker Foley; they ask him about the scars fading up and down his arms, they ask him about the scar carved diagonal across his face.
Danny, as politely as he can, tells them he doesn’t remember. He thought kindness would come second nature to him, his dream burned into his mind where he hugged his brother so sweetly. Apparently, his sweetness is only second nature to people he considers his own.
(It becomes even more apparent when Dash Baxter tries to bully him later that day, and Danny ruffles like an eagle threatened. His mind whispers, hissy and agitated, sinking like a shadow at his shoulder, several different ways Danny could kill him for talking to him like that, and fifteen more ways he could cripple him.)
(Danny ignores those thoughts, up until Dash Baxter tries to grab him. Then he breaks his nose on the wood of his desk. It’s easy how quickly the rest of his grade sinks him down to the status of social pariah.)
(At least Sam and Tucker still talk to him after that. When Danny goes to the principal’s office later, he wisely doesn’t mention the worse things he could’ve done than break Dash Baxter’s nose.)
—--------------
It clicks and it clatters in corners and borders
And they will never
Hear me here listen to croons and a calling
I'll tell them all the
Story, the sun, and the swallow, her sorrow
Singing me the tale of the Harpy and the Hare
—-------
More dreams come, of course they do. Each one halfway to forgotten whenever he wakes up, ticking faint in his ears. He is many different ages. He is young, shorter than a table. He is older, holding onto his little brother. He is singing in almost every single one. He is singing to his brother.
Danny can barely remember the lyrics, he’s begun leaving a journal by his bedside so that it’s the first thing he can write down when he wakes up. He’s a storyteller, he learns. He feels like a historian, trying to piece together a culture long dead and forgotten.
His most vivid dream-like memory is not a happy one, and for once he’s almost relieved he barely recalls it. He is somewhere that isn’t home, but his mother and brother are there. He is dressed in black, blades keen in his hands.
They are atop a moving train. They are fleeing something. His brother is struggling to keep up, he is small, and young. It’s beautifully sunny, they are somewhere green and lovely.
It is a fast dream.
His brother stumbles on something, and Danny, fast as a whip, snatches him by the back of his shirt and hoists him up to his feet before he can fall. “Watch your feet, habibi.” He murmurs low, a hand on his back. It’s hard to hear, there is wind in their ears.
His brother, face obscured in all but his eyes, which are green as emeralds, nods.
The dream blurs, but Danny falls behind. His foot catches on air — impossible, it should’ve been, at least. He never trips. — and he lands against the roof with a thud and a grunt. His mother and brother stop, and turn for him.
The train hits a turn before Danny can get up, and he shouldn’t have, something pulls on him, he swears, but he slips. He can’t find the purchase to pull himself up, cold fear hits him as his nails scrape against the metal.
His mother and brother’s horrified faces are the last thing he sees before he disappears off the side of the train.
(The ticking is at its loudest when he wakes up, pounding against his inner skull. He only manages to write down ‘train fall’ in his journal, before he’s flipping over to press his head into his pillow to get the pain to stop.)
—---
She can't keep them all safe
They will die and be afraid
Mother, tell me so I say
(Mother, tell me so I say)
—-------
When Danny is fourteen he is still humming songs he can’t remember, his mind still in a broken puzzle. But his room is now decorated with stars and plants in every corner. He has a guitar he keeps in the corner of his room, and he plays the lullabies in his head on the strings over and over again.
The ectoplasm in the fridge still unsettles him, still reminds him of a past he can’t recall. The knife beneath his mattress has returned to the kitchen — he doesn’t need it. He found a box in the attic last year, it had his name on it, and inside he found familiar, strange clothes, and more weapons than he thought was possible to carry on one person.
(Even without knowing that the Fentons prefer guns to blades, Danny knows, instinctively, that they were his weapons. He was — was? Is — a dangerous person. He takes the box down to his room to sort through. The weapons all fit into his callused hands almost perfectly — the grooves worn to fit his palm. They’re just a little small.)
(He tentatively takes a small blade with him to school one day, and feels much more comfortable with it sheathed beneath his shirt. He’s kept it on him ever since, like he’s reunited a lost limb to himself.)
Danny doesn’t have a name for his person, his little brother, nor does he have a name for his beloved mother. He’s haunted by dreams every few weeks, many of them repeating. He’s ingrained the words he can remember to memory, and the ones he doesn’t, he writes down in his journal. His little brother; Danny calls him a bird, he can’t figure out what kind. His little bird of some kind; when Danny takes something from their father — what, he can’t remember what — then his little brother will be a little bird.
(He doesn’t have a name for his brother, yet, but he’s calling his birdie in his head. It’s better than nothing.)
—------
Seeker, do you ever come to wonder
If what you're looking for is within where you hold
Will you leave a trail for them to follow a path
You'll soon forget
Home
—---------
When he’s fourteen, Danny dies. It does nothing to fix his fractured memories, much to his consternation. It just confirms something he already knows; that he was someone dangerous, and that he still is.
When the shock of death has worn off, Danny inspects his ghost in the metal reflection of the closest table. It’s blurry, hard to see, but shock green eyes pierce back at him, green like the portal. Lazarus, Danny’s mind whispers, and he blinks rapidly.
‘Lazarus,’ he mouths to himself. It’s familiar. Sam shows him with her phone what he looks like, joking that he looks like an assassin. Danny doesn’t think she’s that too far off.
He doesn’t tell her that. He tucks the thought away with the rest of his secrets, and fiddles with the hood gathering at his neck, attached to a cape with torn edges swinging down to his ankles. He pulls it over his shock white hair. It shadows over his face impossibly so, until all you can see are his green-green eyes peering out like a wolf hiding in the brush.
He ends up calling himself Phantom.
(Maybe now he can start putting lyrics to his lullabies; his memories may not have returned, locked away with the sound of a clock, but the dead can talk. One of them may just have answers.)
----------
Home is where we are
Home is where you are
Home is where I am
-----------------
Dedicated to @gascansposts for being the one who introduced me to the band Yaelokre, and thus being the whole reason I was inspired to write this in the first place >:] Those lyrics at the line breaks are all from their album Hayfields.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul au#amnesiac danyal al ghul au#songs in order of the album: the hartebeest / harpy hare / and the hound / neath the grove is a heart#musician danny has my heart and soul#yes this danyal IS an alternative danny from the other au. an au where things were a little better :) but still sucks#implied good mom talia al ghul#danyal is a momma's boy send tweet#dpxdc ficlet#dpxdc prompts#dp x dc au#dp x dc fanfic#danyal is sTILL five years older than damian in this au#no beta no edits we die like danny fenton#poc danny fentons#i didnt know where to end this :(( i was gonna go on but i blanked. i thought about going into his relationships with his rogues and so on.#but that felt too much like trying to just increase the word count rather than actually writing?? if that makes sense#ugh im gonna have forgotten to include things and im gonna be kicking myself later#morally ambiguous danny whoo! we love to see it#since this was just for fun it doesnt really go into it all that much other than like. it happens. and that danny realizes he's dangerous#phantom in a hazmat suit? nah phantom looking like an assassin >:].#danyal al ghul with damian and his mom: 🥰🌸✨#danyal al ghul with everyone else: 👹🔪#am i heavily implying that clockwork had smth to do with Danyal’s amnesia and appearance by the cabin? 👀 maybe#not enough danyal al ghul aus where him being an assassin actually. has some kind of affect on him
460 notes
·
View notes
Text
tumblrinas when the disability disables you: oh wow that's so cringe. Stop doing that. Actually, I have disability too, and I can do it, which means you're just using your disability as an excuse. I'm morally correct therefore to mock you for being disabled and using tools and aids to help you. I'm not ableist, I'm just saying the hard truth 😊
#yes this was inspired by that one post#that was aiming to criticize ai by mocking ppl who#sucked at writing professional emails#like there are so many things u can criticize abt chatgpt#and other similar services#their unethical data harvesting their resource demands etc#but the only thing u can bring up is 'well everyone knows#how to write emails so the only reason one might ask#an ai to write one for them is that theyre lazy' ??#idk why i expect nuance from tumblr but i really hate that#we ended up at 'anything ai is bad' without a single critical#thought going into it#disability#disabled#tw ableism#neurodivergent#actually neurodivergent#autism#autistic#actually autistic#<- obviously could apply to other disabilities as well#this is just the one that affects me lol
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
alright everybody can we please stop tagging me/talking about me in the notes of pro keefe/sokeefe posts. i know strieefe has made it so that it's really funny to talk about how much i love him and how much i'm in denial when i say negative things about him under those posts (and that's all in good fun and not the problem), but we have to think about the fact that the ops are just trying to make a positive post and probably don't want a keefe hater in their notes /srs
#i'm not mad or anything like that. promise. it's just a phenomenon i've noticed that has slowly started becoming a trend#it just becomes increasingly difficult to respond in a way that stays true to my opinions while ALSO trying not to offend op#so i usually end up ignoring those mentions or reblogging with like “no comment” or something. which isn't fun for anybody#i've had this happen more than once by more than one person. this is a pro keefe/sokeefe post why are we talking about me of all people#i don't want to offend op with my inevitable anti keefe opinions. talking about keefe haters on a pro keefe post is . . . a choice#i make an effort to try to stay out of pro keefe/sokeefe spaces. trust me when i say i have seen whatever post you're tagging me in#i'm a kotlc tag stalker to the core. i have SEEN these posts don't worry. i just don't interact with them. that's all#when i see them i am definitely tempted to go on a rant about how wrong op is about sophie and keefe's dynamic and how it actually SUCKS#or how much keefe is a shitty character with a poorly written arc and atrocious six-year-old humor. i have written about this AT LENGTH#but guys. the notes of a pro keefe post is NOT the place to be summoning me of all people. what do you even want me to say#i've been @ed on posts like “i love sokeefe” “keefe sencen. you agree. reblog” “people that don't understand sokeefe just don't get it”#<- all fake examples btw. but close enough to real posts i've been summoned to#and it's like. i mean yes i COULD go on a rant about how much i thoroughly disagree. but like. it's just not polite. so i won't#atp how am i even supposed to respond to your mention? i don't even know#on top of that if i reblog a pro keefe post with an anti keefe response for all my probably mostly anti keefe followers to see----#----then they'll agree with me. that version will get reblogged and soon there might be more people on op's post that disagree with them#okay this got way more incoherent than originally intended. hopefully it got the point across. and so on#just things to think about! nothing wrong with @ing me on keefe posts just think about how you want me to respond before @ing me----#----or if i will even be able to respond in any real capacity at all#not cawtulk#<- not really#just fandom stuff#keepblr
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
All I’m going to say I think now that my brain remembered part of what it was thinking is that Taylor and Joe went through a lot together (good and bad) and regardless of how it ended or what led to it they both seem to be determined to keep that private and not throw each other under the bus and in the end they’re just two very, very different people whose outlooks in the long term were just never going to align and never has that been clearer.
#I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM JUST TO BE CLEAR#I’m just saying… he said a lot of nothing in those quotes beyond ‘people on the internet suck’#which is true#and both he and Taylor are keeping things close to the vest about it all#and just seems to me that whatever they went through together they are determined to keep it between them so that’s the end of that#(again in contrast to how she has no qualms about reading m for filth)#he’s just some guy and now he gets to be just some guy forever#and she gets to be extraordinary#like yes the loving committed thing raises eyebrows given how much pain she was in#but like he could have shaded her about how it ended too and he didn’t#AND I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM#we know he was a terrible partner and she felt like shit#I’m just saying neither of them want to delve into the specifics and i think they’re just moving into footnotes in each other’s lives now#like i want to make it clear AGAIN I am not condoning anything on his part here — clearly there were huge issues#I’m just saying just because he may have sucked as a partner doesn’t mean the internet being cruel isn’t also true idk#and yes it’s transparent why he’s choosing to speak out now (or rather why the Sunday times is choosing to reach out to him now)#but like… idk i just can’t muster up any feeling about this man one way or the other lol#and take cues from Taylor (and even him) she’s determined to keep it between them other than the broad strokes#so I’m following her/their lead#(like I have thoughts about why but that’s not important and ultimately is just… it’s the most normal of ltr breakups)#like he just sounds a little pretentious with his ‘real life’ which like… good on him keep living that real life you do you dude#meanwhile his ex is flourishing with every passing week and milestone and is living her unabashed best life#and they’re probably both happier for it now
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
love when characters are really fucking evil but you know what thats okay !! because they're more than just evil !! they're also actively trying and struggling and sure, maybe they're an asshole, but theyre still human and theyre still attempting.
#i always end up kinning those characters istg i feel like everyones done things they regret and its just. nice to see people in media#who yes#suck#but theyre doing their best and they arent the villain anymore and you know what. maybe theyre helping themselves too#theo raeken#kinda prompted that post sorry
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
i cannot stand the aot fandom this is not a new take at all they are universally intolerable but oh my dayssss u are FORBIDDEN from making ANY take about the show it's actually insane to watch. 'aot is perfect' no show is perfect. 'tell me you didnt get the show 😂🫵' people have different opinions/interpretations about things. 'eren is a good guy they could never make me hate him' i think there's actually 4 seasons and two movies explicitely using him as a tool to show that no one is 'good' or 'evil' they are only trying to survive. hello. the fandom r all so far up aot's ass that they actually discredit its writing in the process and it would be laughable if it wasn't so frustrating
#bc aot IS insanely well written but no one talks about it???#like all they do is SAY how well written it is but no one is brave enough to give examples or meta bc SOMEONE will jump on it#declaring they've misinterpreted the Single Correct Way of watching the show and are dumb and a hater for saying such a thing#i remember posting about my initial aot watch on here and i did NOT like eren i thought he was whiney and annoying (he is <3)#and i thought aot was overhyped but ive since finished it at long last and omg. it is so fucking good#one of those shows that you need to watch ALL of it to truly get what's going on#and the conclusion of eren's character i am genuinely so obsessed with ill probs make a separate post just about him#bc i have really 180'd on eren and i can see now he IS well written. but not for any reason i can see anyone else talking about???#people are just banging on about he was right and justified and a saviour and tragic etc etc and while those things are important#and should be considered that also like. was not the point imo#the irony and tragedy of eren jaeger was that after all the 'i am special simply bc i was born into this world'#concluded with the revelation that actually he was not special. the rumbling happened because a normal boy got a hold of a great power#and he mishandled it. he was immature. he acted his age. he was just some teenage boy and he responded in kind#there was selfishness and silly whims and a quick temper. he was never this godlike figure he gets painted as#and i ADORE THAT TAKE. THAT IS SUCH AN ICE COLD CONCLUSION. EREN WAS NEVER SPECIAL - THAT'S THE POINT#and like countless times through history one selfish person with their hands on an insane amount of power and a conviction#that they are doing the right thing goes on to lead to a continuation of the cycle of war#like the end credits with the tree is genuinely HAUNTING. it never ended. eren KNEW the rumbling would be unnsuccessful#and would leave enough of their enemies alive that they'd eventually retaliate HE KNEW THAT and did it anyway#why? bc he just /wanted/ it. desperately and immaturely. and so the war turned over for another generation and another and#LIKE THAT IS SUCH A POIGNANT HAUNTING TAKE. I FR STARED AT THE BLACK SCREEN ONCE I FINISHED IT FOR 5 MINS IN HORRIFIED SILENCE#yes it's not his sole motivation but ultimately the crux of his character boils down to the fact he's just some kid#to the point even when he's explaining it to armin at the very end they SHOW HIM AS A KID. THAT IS THE REAL EREN#THAT ANGRY SCRAPPY CHILD WHO THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT THE WORLD INTO SUBMISSION#NOT A HERO NOT A GOD NOT A DEVIL - JUST A KID GIVEN A POWER HE NEVER SHOULD HAVE GOT HIS HANDS ON#but if u say all that some chucklefuck tells u to kys and that u just Didnt Get The Masterpiece Of Attack On Titan#but do u know what? maybe people disagree w me! maybe this is just my interpretation! guess who's NOT gonna have a hissy fit about it?#fandom is about DISCUSSION and i have never seen a fandom as fucking allergic to it than the aot fandom#like omdddddddddd have a day off man isayama isnt gonna suck you off#aot
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
I've been looking for this one au where Len basically becomes a mad scientist and turns his friends into robots one by one for a while now, and I'm beginning to realize that I just read through your blog while half asleep a few months back and mixed together my memories of your flower hivemind and composite au
this is very funny to me. i'm absolutely honored this blog's posts were enough to evil-farming-game an entire vocaloid au into your memories 😂
i can give you this doodle; it's composite au but i'm sure it'd fit very well with this theoretical mad scientist len au lololl
#ask#anonymous#this is ALSO funny to me bc of 'mad scientist' and 'flower hivemind au' in the same paragraph. it reminds me of an old scrapped idea#i had about where tf the flowers even came from in the first place but i ended up never doing anything w/ it#i've been thinking abt composite au though uag i want to do more w/ it... rip the unfinished refs and one google doc thing i have#shaking myself like ITS OKAY IF THE STORY KINDA SUCKS AT FIRST!! YOU NEED TO START SOMEWHERE#cus i mean i wouldve never gotten anywhere w/ Certain Things had i not started with the og shitty versions. which were SHIT#but its wild to think ~7 years later i transmogrified them into the things they are now. wack. makes me wonder what will happen#to stuff im making now later down the line if i go and revisit it. SO CONCLUSION YES BITCH GET OVER YOUR FUCKING ANXIETY#i think my other problem is i'd loveee to reveal it slowly with like art pieces comics etc but i dont got time for that 😔😔#CURSE WITH LITERALLY EVERYTHING I MAKE TBH not just fandom shit but original shit too. i need to get over myself#cause i do know respectfully not everyone has the skill/time/desire to pick apart things for symbolism so a clearer explanation#would prob be more accessible. and easier for ME TOO TO HAVE SHIT IN ONE FUCKING PLACE MAN. actually how i've been taking notes lately#sorry these are some longass fucking tags im talking to myself. just went into a new academic year w a lot of stress#so thinking abt my own crazy stories keeps me sane and makes me feel like i have control over at least SOME aspect of my life#anyways circling back mad scientist len sounds incredible lowkey though lmao. its always the stem lens 😔💔✌️#JK?? but i do joke abt composite au len partly going insane bc he's a biochem major essentially so yeah bitch i fucking get it ��� no wonder
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
It feels voyeuristic to share videos/images of the brutal suffering the Palestinian people are going through every day, and I hate that it's come to that. I hate that these people are forced to display their loved one's mangled corpses for everyone to see, in the desperate hope that it will convince the governments of the world that they don't deserve to be treated like vermin to exterminate.
I want to be clear, they are not wrong for sharing these things, and it is paramount for us to show it to others. It is deeply upsetting and troubling to see these things, but that's exactly the point- that's the purpose. If they have to live through it, if they themselves cannot escape it, then it is our obligation AT THE VERY LEAST, to listen to them and look at whats happening, even if it disgusts us. ESPECIALLY if it disgusts us. We owe them that much. We owe them our anger and rage on their behalf. We owe them our full attention. Genocide is everyone's issue, and to look away is to help the perpetrator.
#palestine#gaza#i havent personally spoken abt it on here#as i prefer to share other peoples voices#but i keep seeing the take that like#its upsetting to see/its triggering/etc#and yes that sucks and i understand its hard to look at#but this is NOT THE SAME THING as an outsider sharing images of the dead against the wishes of the friends and family#this is the friends and family themselves sharing whats happening because thats all they can do#they are begging for help#and know that people rarely act without extreme emotional investment#no matter how bad the images make you feel#please remember that you are at the very least not the target of an active genocide#you can choose to ignore the brutality. they cant. they have to live it every fucking day#in a lot of cases im usually against sharing morbid images bc its typically disrespectful to the deceased#like in the cases of people that have been murdered by serial killers#and is usually used to sensationalize the story and often ends up dehumanizing the victim#but that is totally different from this#this is a group of people shouting to get the attention of others that can help them#and using any means necessary to do so#they are fighting for their lives. the least we can do is acknowledge that and amplify their voices#dont even bother arguing with me on this post. this is not something im changing my mind on#if this bothers you just unfollow or block or something
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol
i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki
#snap chats#haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant#anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much#i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do#fine lets get Real Talk about it#well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there#and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway#i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls#like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it#that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji//#like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence#smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on#its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP#i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode#especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much#i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught#aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up#and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful#his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry.#his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore#like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene#plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too....#idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL#i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀#maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO#thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
no funny little thoughts today. have this instead,,,,,, mtt fighting shshahsgahagsgaa CHOKES ok i lied maybe i DO have funny little thoughts below where the reference is :3
this is SUCH a cool composition shot i had to draw something based off it (ignoring the erm. the flashing,,,,, this game came out like 10 years ago just ignore that)
anyways triglycercule what are your thoughts??? funny you asked triglycercule allow me to illuminate :3 so ive been remembering that one ask from like 3 or 4 months ago where i answered like well i like to consider the trio to just have met one day and then decided oh hey we should like totally explore the multiverse together (my excuse to draw them in any possible situation possible (mtt at an amusement park when) (soon (probably not))) and recently i was like WAIT i could probably like totally find a way for them to meet because just saying they met (is a totally valid use of my creator powers BUT) is uncreative and vague,,,,,
so i was like damn. how COULD i get them to meet 🧐🧐🧐 so i was like ok so dust beats human. done and done. but like bros BOUND to get bored. like if he gets bored from not having the human to kill then he's gonna seek out SOME other form of entertainment. so dust is like ok how about i work on some old ancient machines i made b4 to pass the time and one of these ends up being like a universal traveler thingy. and to his own surprise he actually MANAGES to get it done???? (i totally didnt steal this idea from myself,,,,, whaaat youre saying there's another triglycercule dust that came up with a universe hopper machine??? NO (sorry mania))
and oops instead of staying in dusttale like he intended dust accidentally gets chucked into horrortale (bro just wanted the sense of accomplishment not to thrown into some random world.) and then cue like horror and him meeting and its all tense and confusing and then horror paps comes around and hes like OMG ⁉️TWO BROTHERS ‼️‼️ and then invites dust over for a nice sweet little bowl of human spaghetti. unfortunately for dust the little teleporter device is no longer connected to dusttale's core (because hes not IN dusttale) so he just kinda has to suck it up and deal with it until he can find a portable power source
dust's not trying to get KILLED out here so he asks horror (who sadly cannot push dust into blue snow because paps is very enthusiastic about his appearance) where he can find like batteries or something. and horror makes some off hand comment about like power sources and his eye being in the core and how theres like no power and oh why did dust immediately start listening once horror mentioned his eye,,,,,, dusts not gonna rip horror's eye out (he has no reason 2 if theres a perfectly good 1 @ the core!) so he tells horror what he needs the power source for and then hes like i can help you get food for your buddies if you help me help you. ok? ok
and then they sneak into the core to get the eye and oops dust didnt you learn your lesson last time!! the little teleporter thingy brings them to another world AGAIN (and now horror's PISSED because this wasn't in their little deal) and guess where is is,,,,, you already know its something new. and i guess to make things uncomplicated this is a something new where killer already killed his chara but he hasn't tried to reset the world and kill himself (and therefore attract nightmare) yet (he's getting there!)
not like they think the au is anything other than just a wasteland because there is literally like nobody around but they stumble into killer and it doesn't even take like more than a minute before a fight breaks out (i probably need to think more about what happened and why they started fighting but knowing the trio its BOUND to happen) and lowkey killer is getting his ass beat what the hell??? he has never experienced a fight where he's been on the losing end in a long ass time & mindgames arent working because they keep seeing through his shit??? (because horror and dust somehow even though they barely know each other and horror's pissed @ dust have like craaaazy synergy and coordination & killer hasnt faught them ever before + yk yk inner turmoil at seeing other versions of yourself) so he gets annoyed and pulls out the blaster to end it
dust and horror don't DIE outright (not like they would be able to tank killer's blaster) because killer decided to be like hey these guys are new and cool and interesting. i should keep them around instead of killing them off and see how much i can play around with them :3 so he just blasts them until theyre at like 0.0000000000000001 HP :3333 and then idk thats it 4 now,,,,,, i think this is silly and fun and cool and i can imagine it in my head and OH NO THE VOICES (make a comic) THEYRE GETTING LOUDER (you should draw this) NO WAIT MY MOTIVATION (coooomic would be a perfect medium for this) im sorry inner voices i cant,,,,,,,
#i could probably push the perspective to its extreme if i did it on my ipad#make the gaster blaster bigger...... give killer a cooler pose........#but im lazy i dont feel like transferring this 1 2 digital and therefore it gets stuck on paper with no further edits#anyways this is soooo cute this is so them in my eyes. yeah this would happen#triglycercule HATES cementing things in place for the mtt (because my flexibility will be GONE!!!!)#but fortunately this is only 1 interpretation of them!!! thank god!!!! im not limited to this 24/7#i like the idea that horror' immortality is now like stuck in dust's device that they use to multiverse hop#like a part of his life is quite literally dependent on the device being intact#but also it powers the device which is like..... woaaaaah double meaning or something#it's dust's device powered by horror's eye but killer's the one that knows how to handle it best#they all get to do team collaboration with the teleporter!!! yay!!!!!!!#back on th immortality thing (i mean hes not REALLY immortal but still)#horror technically could just stay behind in horrortale and let dust an killer fuck around#because maybe killer would come along with dust if he knew what dust made#but he doesn't (because it sucks balls in horrortale and he's GUIIIILTY) but also because like. its just a good tradeoff#horrortale gets the food and support he wants to give them so the suffering can end#and horror doesn't have to be plagued with his boredom and stuck in a place he both traumatized and is traumatized by#its a win win!!! besides like sightseeing is a good enough tradeoff for hanging out w dust and killer#and dust still gets to revisit dusttale once in a while JUUUST to make sure the human didnt somehow come back#and even if he did now they get to reenact the murder time trio fight against dust's human w horror n killer!!!!!!!!#OH SHIT I JUST NOTICED DUSTS LEFT HAND IS BACKWARDS FUCK#NOOOOOO I MESSED UP......... AAAAAAA...!!!!!! too l8 to change it now...... (lazy)#ahahaaaaaaa i love this version of the mtt so much. its like KINDA canon compliant but also has a triglycercule flourish to it#AND NO NIGHTMARE IN SIGHT!!! YES!!!!!!!!#this killer seeing another version of him where he didnt have dust and horror to find him first#and being like damn. i could've ended up like that. i could've ended up serving someone else...... its a bit of an uncomfortable feeling#so off he goes to bother dust and horror again! gained an ever so slight appreciation for not being in that situation I GUESS idk#i snickered giving killer the chara smiley face to simplify his face gooooodddddddd#this feels naught of needing to be tagged. anyways i THINK this could be a hc idk....... headcanon it is!#tricule hc
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i do wish that people hadnt been so rabidly critical and vicious towards steven universe back in the day, because now it feels like u cant discuss any parts of the show u didnt like without getting lumped in with those guys lol
#like idk man i liked the show a bunch#but i did also fall off becayse like. yeah i can see the tragjectory of the show now!#i can see that it was always gona be about this broken family of the diamonda and all that#but like. idk man. i tend to prefer when we focus on the little guys#and yeah we did do some of that. but that (planned) swerve near the end there really lost my interest#like i know rose being pink does make her infiitely more complex and its a fine choice to make but it still didnt do anythng for me#i still would have mich preferred to focus on the corrupted gems#on the people with no power in this struggle#its lik how i understand that the diamonds are basically a metaphor for someones like. bigoted aunt or something#but that still doent mean that i like that the people who razed dozens of planets to the ground were given time and priority#over the footsoldiers man!!!#like yes yes i get it its a metaphor its a escalation what else where they gonan do but like idk man i can still not like that turn!!#i can still wish they just....idk overthrew them or bubbled them or something. idk pull an anndrias from aphibia. community service lol#i can still wish that steven had healed the corrupted gems like it felt like it was foreshadowed#(since. yknw. rose can heal physical things- and stevne can a bit too but he can astral project into -peoples minds.)#and the corruption was an inury of the mind first and formost.#like. why would u set that up and not do that jgsnsgknkjdnjkgds#i can stil lthink the proportion inconsistenies were weird and too me out of the moment#eh idk its frustrating#like it feels like u say somehng like this and u have one guy going 'ikr the ahow SUCKED steven shoulda KLLED THEM'#and another going 'omg its a KIDS SHOW SHUT UP FORVER NO CRITICSM'#abd im sitting here in the middle like i tihnk theres some nuance here lads. i think we can habe a middle ground#luke rambles
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
14 tbh
#godwhat am i even sAYING#beige and bullyable got in my head its a great description#also i love the way my yaz re 13 is like this Looking Up#even when she knows she sucks the doctor is still like. larger than life a little. extremely untouchable#in a human way - 13 wont be touched - but that keeps the alien way sort of intact you know what i mean?#and then shes faced with 14 and shes like What a fucking loser#highly dunkable biscuit#yazs reaction to 14 is similar to like 9 or 10 re domesticity#'aw dont tell me i settle down. gross! boring! horrifying!'#anyway i just like the contrast#i like intertwining all the feelings yaz has abt being back on earth and seeing the doctor again and#it turning into this master-like sentiment of 'you used to be fun and now youre a little wimp'#yaz re 13: shes Special#yaz re 14: hes just some guy#bc like the thing is yazs doctor.........like..............travels.#i think is the thing#thats part of it. she loves the doctor for the doctor but she also loves the doctor for the life she leads#and lets yaz lead#i think#anyway yes im still writing this fic sorry i let myself get distracted but i will get it done in the end#also 14 woudl adore being thought of as just some guy#yaz: no i was insulting you#14: 🥰🥰🥰
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
soooooo this afternoon i found out some devastating news about my current financial situation and am basically screwed. if ANYONE can help me out with rent and some recent medical and vehicle emergency bills, i would so greatly appreciate it. (or just sharing this helps i guess i don't know.)
paypal
#mutual aid#mutual aid request#donations#donation request#basically i've been receiving unemployment and was told one thing way back in july *BY UNEMPLOYMENT*#and when i called today because my benefits are almost up they told me THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE#so for six months i was operating on one set of instructions only to find out at the end of those six months that it was bogus so i'm fucke#like super fucked#so absolutely fucked#i know it's the end of the year / new year / holidays and nO ONE is financially able to help but i just need to put it out there#ALSO IF ANYONE HAS ANY LEADS ON ANY FUCKING JOBS#I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE THAT#cuz i've been applying for jobs like crazy and FUCKING NOTHING#happy new year TO ME#(like i knew this new year was gonna suck but WOW COULD IT SUCK EVEN WORSE SINCE IMMA BOUT TO BE HOMELESS WHEEEEEEEEEE)#(i'm literally still so mad after that phone call and gurl was AWFUL and like 'welp nothing i can do you're on your own')#(and i'm sitting there (after being on hold for well over an hour) going YEAH BUT THIS IS *YOUR* SCREW UP. NOT. MINE.)#(anyway i feel like walking into traffic for real cuz what's the point)#(YES I'M ALLOWED TO BE UPSET AND SCARED OKAY)#signal boost#aid#signal b00st#happy new year
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyone on Tumblr got a good guide for long lasting scars?
Specifically for a variety of different type of skin tones.
Or even like explanations on scar colors?
Like dark colored scars versus light colored.
Preferably about those ghat last years if not for life?
(I'm trying to figure out the best way to make my character look a bit accurate in plushie form.)
#Maybe Randall... not gonna say.#anyways anyone got anything?#even if it's semi false I'll take it.#probably better than searching for answers#(all searches ended up being either not helpful or saying only that scars are bad and what not...)#I hate those things because I personally have scars for multiple different reasons and I love them and I don't like it when I see people#saying they will answer questions but also proceed to be hating on scars and only really trying to sell a product.#however I did find that apparently dark and medium skin tones are more likely to get dark scars than pale skin.#what even is a dark scar? I'm... not too sure? I really got mix information so yeah.#also burn marks... do they turn light after healing? or only some? are they even maybe pink? or different for different skin tones?#like seriously I dunno and the internet sucked and only gave me more questions.#I do know it tends to be most common for scars to be lighter. like two tones lighter.#however because of chemicals in the body and such#anyways I'm extremely confused and I would rather information before I start fully sewing up my plushies but if not then I may not make it#too accurate for my character. As one has scars and I'm not too sure how to portray that. (They got a medium skin tone and I have mixed info#so like... anyone got something? literally anything?#even if I already know or it's a graphic photo I don't care. I need info! and answers!#also that plushie gonna have scars one way or another but might look a bit odd because of my previous mention information.#oh and yes I also know that some scars are the same skin tones just like textured but I'm embroidering the scars on so I only got one type#of texture sadly. but with that the plushie will feel more accurate and both by looks and touch. (I think at least)#anyways yeah. plushies being made! yay. I haven't cut the one out but the other is and I basically just need to get some different colored#embroidery threat from a tote that's buried so I gotta wait. so I thought while I do that I shall try getting information if I can.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes I talk to my dad abt controversial things and/or literally give my opinion and he responds and I'm just like 'yeah no you're why people dont like me'
#me sayjng that I dont agree with his opinion but sure you can think his way but heres why i dont agree and him going 'yes no ofcourse you're#right because you're always right and never open for different opinions and not nuanced and and and' in the most sarcastic way and I'm just#standing there like '??? I ended my piece saying y ur opinion could also be right wtf' and he is like 'no im sure because i know these#kinda things' and me and my mom ask for evidence and he gets mad bc no he knows this obviously he just knows this#and then 5 minutes later he goes (non sarcastically) 'yea kyle can do anything' and then when i respond w 'ye sure' he gets mad#bc he sees it as me not being able to take a compliment#SIR I CAN IN FACT NOT DO ANYTHING U LIT TOLD ME I'M BLATENTLY WRONG AND MY OPINION IS WRONG 5 MINUTES AGO#stop telling me I'm perfect AT EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME PLEASE#anyway slay i dont like him as a man and yet he makes me feel like im not allowed to#and shames me when i make it clear I dont like being around him as much#anyway hes a sucky sucky man a lot of the time and atp I'm like 90% sure hes a narcissist but idk enough abt it#anyway fat slay#I'm literally never coming out to him as trans bte bc when one of his closest friends came out as a women and said she was going to#transition he saw it as unfair to HIM because its hard for HIM to lose a friend and he didn't know how to deal with that so she was a bad#friend for doing that. also I'm his favourite little girl to this day like sir....im a 24 yr old whos not called themselves a woman in like#6 yrs please catch on#god so much to talk abt w/him thats to much I'm not gonna trauma dump#anyway he sucks#he just can't seem to grab onto me thinking he sucks
2 notes
·
View notes