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tumblrinas when the disability disables you: oh wow that's so cringe. Stop doing that. Actually, I have disability too, and I can do it, which means you're just using your disability as an excuse. I'm morally correct therefore to mock you for being disabled and using tools and aids to help you. I'm not ableist, I'm just saying the hard truth 😊
#yes this was inspired by that one post#that was aiming to criticize ai by mocking ppl who#sucked at writing professional emails#like there are so many things u can criticize abt chatgpt#and other similar services#their unethical data harvesting their resource demands etc#but the only thing u can bring up is 'well everyone knows#how to write emails so the only reason one might ask#an ai to write one for them is that theyre lazy' ??#idk why i expect nuance from tumblr but i really hate that#we ended up at 'anything ai is bad' without a single critical#thought going into it#disability#disabled#tw ableism#neurodivergent#actually neurodivergent#autism#autistic#actually autistic#<- obviously could apply to other disabilities as well#this is just the one that affects me lol
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ozone
#had to fix this one before posting it#was supposed to be included in the last post - but didn’t exactly fit with the other images thematically#this building/sector is at the mouth of the entire park — I think it’s spot that manufactures/cans/pumps compressed natural gas?? not 100%#and it’s LOUD. not this building specifically but the 4 dozen other factories and assembly plants that operate on this block#similar noise level to working ground services at an intl airport; the passive noise level is somewhat-distant jet engine at best#hard to capture that aspect in the image — I should do a field recording tho#anyways yeah - it’s fun to drive through the heart of the park at night and listen to the whirrs and groans of machinery#I want to capture more but obv being oblique with a camera in this area or making frequent passes warrants a little more sensitivity#I do not want to deal with cops OR well-meaning-but-misguided working class folk who open carry to their shift at Dangerous Chemicals INC#my art#webcore#internetcore#glitchcore#artists on tumblr#night photography#distortion#noise#art#y2kcore#abstract art#glitch aesthetic#artwork#abstract#industry#infrastructure#machinery
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these are all kind of Bad but this was the best of the bunch so i am posting it :p
i've been trying to draw vanessa more... she is so important to me... sun is here too i guess
#my art#probably wont tag this until later i dont want this in the tags#im mainly posting this because i absolutely need to talk abt something its been bothering me for awhile#im gonna censor this stuff (i REALLY dont want this in the tags) so just bear with me#why doesnt the 🌞&🌜 fandom talk abt v/nessa more. why do we not do that#their entire character is meant to parallel her#there's like a million tiny parallels for them in the games. they were both teased in the hw1 dlc and are both associated with that#🐰 & 🌜's animations (and even their designs) have several similarities to each other#there's a lot of cutscenes and parts of sb where one shows up after the other does.. 🐰 going to the daycare after greggy leaves#🌜 dragging feddy away to parts and service and v/nessa immediately showing up there#the entire 6am ending sequence ???#literally like the only reason v/nessa isnt more popular is bc like 90% of her character is hidden in unused content#and because 🌞&🌜 are the skinny handsome mysterious and tragic tumblr sexymen#and when they become so isolated from their source all of their parallels to her are used to instead repackage her character into a more#appealing design for everyone to fawn over and consume#.. im being dramatic but AuUGGHTHHF IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH PLEAAAE3 pleaseee please i love her.#its so hard being in the 'i want to kiss this robot' fandom when you dont actually want to kiss the robot#i just think theyre an interesting character 😭 and also my adhd brain obsesses over them endlessly so im just stuck here HFJSJGJD#anyway these tags got way too long dont read these. im going to bed now
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Guys you're not gonna believe this. The books are wrong again
At least this time I didn't even get half of them and half of what I did get was damaged...? So I only have another 70 books to deal with... This time they're soft touch......
I've got so many of book 2 it's not even funny
#aaaaaa#emailing w customer service#they're sorta going like 'prove it'#not really but..#soft touch and matte are visually very similar#so its hard to show clearly that they are different#and i reported all the damages as well#mostly to be like hi. can they please be packaged properly when theyre replaced. the books were shrink wrapped wrong#and completely unpadded#so over half of them had bends in the spine#or the corners#or peeling laminate#or overgluing...#like. come on.#I'm gonna idk make art out of them or something i cant keep all these around hoping to sell damaged copies#ill try to make something of it#but this is delaying my Kickstarter packages so much 😭😭😭#y'all im trying and I'm so tired#its been one thing after the other#it's. fine. im just...#it's fine.#hopefully they replace them and hopefully they take extra care to actually do a proper fucking job of it#this isn't even that big a deal. < repeating to myself#its only a big deal if i have to buy more books. cause. i uh. didnt budget quite fo THAT#anyways.#text post#vent#Kickstarter stuff#book saga
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The thing that kills me about the Star Wars prequel trilogy and why I will die on my hill that my problem is not that Star Wars is a tragedy, its that its a badly written tragedy, is that Anakin Skywalker was at his closest to being a good Jedi when he was ten years old.
#im not an anakin apologist by any means because I get the point of his character and Im not pro or anti jedi#my only real opinion on all of it is similar to what I was saying about Peter and Tony and the MCU yesterday#its badly written. its EVERYONE being contorted into shapes that dont make a ton of sense in service to#getting characters to where they need to end up for certain things to occur#my opinion is not that Anakin is inherently bad or good or that the Jedi are inherently bad or good#its that their entire conflict was set in motion by forcing the Jedi to act in ways that felt massively OOC when they were#first interviewing him as a kid and like.....I ACCEPT that the Jedi are supposed to be for the most part kindhearted and empathetic and all#of that which is why its so noteworthy in my opinion that this does not match with how they were FORCIBLY portrayed in those early movies#in order to ENGINEER the idea that this kid in desperate need of support but already with a lot of good instincts and positive traits#came to the order of kindly supportive literal empaths and everything went downhill from there#like kindly supportive literal empaths would not in my opinion look at a kid trying his best to be brave & stoic in completely intimidating#circumstances and surroundings and be judgmental and fairly dismissive about it as though theyve never met a kid before let alone a#traumatized one and the fact that thats kinda what happened is in contrast to how a lot of pro anakin people frame that NOT proof#that the Jedi order are inherently bad its that in that key scene and multiple others#the Jedi order were BADLY WRITTEN in pursuit of one pre-determined outcome that mattered more to the script/Lucas than#being true to their core conceit and characterizations. and thats just one example out of dozens I could list and the same holds true for#anakin's side of things so thats why I always steer far away from SW discourse#because Im like the problem with the characters in terms of the most iconic arc is not really any of the characters so much#as the plots refusal to let them actually consistently BE characters rather than just fixed and contrived stepping stones on the way to#the desired endpoint
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It always makes me so sad when I see people complain about the lack of interesting tv shows these days like.... brother there is 4 decades worth of actually incredible and fun tv shows if you only dared open your eyes and look beyond the confinement of netflix...
I will add I totally understand it's also a Taste™ and Interest™ thing and that it may just boil down to a Special Interest™ thing but... just consider... The world is filled with SO many tv shows and they're all at your finger tips all you gotta do is dare reach out and touch the stars
#and before you say 'but how can i watch them if they're not on [streaming service]' well the answer is so simple it might shock you!#there's that thing you can do that is very similar to The Golden Age of Piracy (1650-1730)#and let me tell you there are SO MANY people out there and small communities that dedicate their time to share these shows-#with others and make old titles accesible to more people#the internet archive!! FREE websites that lets you watch a BUNCH of shows (vpn required if you're not in the US)#and not to mention people who actively collect old tv shows and digitalize them LIKE ME!!!! im sitting on so many different tv shows#and if it's not gay enough for you you can make the shows so gay if you want to cause sometimes the source material could easily fool you#UH OH FORSTY IS GOING OFF ABOUT OLDER TV SHOWS AGAIN
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started thinking about the okipara museum artwork and i just realized what flower 18!kara is holding in it.
those are alstroemeria, which can mean perseverance and yearning for the future in hanakotoba....
#the thing that has me fucked up about this is that i actually accociated the same flower w/ hs!kuroba b4 i realized this#like i literally drew something w/ them involving that flower the other day. fuckin OKAY.#what if we experienced the same struggles with confidence and the flower that represents us hints towards preserving into a brighter future#kuro & kara being so similar in high school makes me want to gnaw my hands off i'm going to lose it#i haven't pinned down adult kara's flower yet tho#i thought it could be a balloon flower but looking at how the petals flare out i think it's something else#also apparently there was a massive artbook released for that museum?? i kinda want it...#i might see if i can get it through the proxy service i like#it'd be awesome if these illustrations were in there bc there aren't really high quality versions of them...#i'd try identifying everyone else's flowers too but that's hard when the details get kinda lost when up-scaling the image#osmt#karamatsu#18matsu#flower akatsuka#mj rambles
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There's something wrong with us both
#gordon freeman#barney calhoun#half life 2#blood tw#anyways saw a poem of sorts the other day#and it reminded me of just hwo similar gordon adn barneys identity struggles are#like they both have an altered sense of identity#gordon is forced to undertake the mantle of the freeman and is seperated from himself mentally in order to kill thigns to help others#and barney willingly undertakes the identity of a metrocop to kill others in service of teh greater good#like they both need a seperate identity and sense of self to kill othrs the difference is how willing and how much choice they have#and who it is theyre killing where gordon kills thsoe that hurt others but barney ahs to be the one that hurts otehrs becuzin teh long run#it helps others#liek augh#mirrors#theyre mirrors of teh other#idoindeeddraw#ponderingradioactivedecay
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Man. Goro being in strikers wouldve been soooo fucking good. Especially w the surprisingly good writing and plot??? You have to live w the consequences of your mistakes? You dont get to just Die and leave the mess you made behind? You have to confront the people youve hurt and accept that they may never forgive you? That people who care about you and love you will support you even when youre at rock bottom as long as u show a willingness to change and do better? This wouldve been a perfect way to tie up Goros whole story in neat little bow 😔😔😔
#chattin#p5s#goro#having to confront the thieves. having to confront akira. having to confront HARU.#living with the mistakes you made in your quest for revenge#now that youre forced to Live; what do you do? how do u fix it? how do you start over???#its really good i think; and it would fit goro perfectly#sophie asking about the heart; picking goro clean and exposing his thoughts and failures for the thieves to see#analyzed by akira and co under a microscope#and forced to address his own feelings about. everything.#but like. on other better things#goro having a fury ability similar to zenkichis is cute lol. throwing tantrums in the metaverse#zenkichi gets enhanced moves at the cost of health#and goro gets enhanced attack and agility at the cost of defense and luck#it would be neat :)#goro BEGRUDGINGLY eating the food that akira makes#and eventually forced to help prep if he wants food at all#(akira does not have to do this w the thieves. but he is NOT going to let goro pretend hes not on the team)#(but it doesnt take long for goro to volunteer his services. the thieves eavesdrop as he chats w akira lol)#goro hears that he has to sleep in that little tent up top and hes like. oh thats so cute! have fun in there.#as he sleeps under a boulder next to the camper#i think the heart to heart w akane would soften him a little#he doesnt Hate kids but they make him a little comfy#but shes got so much anger; anger that he definitely had at that age too#he. gets it…#oh my god. hed be so fucking annoyed w the phantom thief praise. it would kill him#and ryujis like man cmon stop actin like youre not one of us already. the acts gettin stale at this point#shuts him up for a long while lmao
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HELP maybe this is influenced by how I'm writing this, or maybe it was supposed to be gleaned from canon and I just. Haven't fully thought about it til now. Haven't Deeply analyzed it beyond the blaring alarm bells that go off when reading this. But. Alfonse's,
Straight into.
This isn't him doubling down. This is him BACKTRACKING. This is him going, "oh fuck I think maybe I came on a little too strong maybe I was a bit too vulnerable and that's really scary. How do I fix this" and he's running through all the dialogue options in his head like Okay. Play it Cool. Keep it Casual. Proclaim your undying loyalty and devotion to your Trusted Partner (person he just told in the beginning of this conversation that he didn't intend to become friends with) by making yourself a blade and shield for them. NAILED IT 👍
#fire emblem#feh#ALFONSE. PLEASE. COME ON MAN#HUUUUUGE FUCKING EPIPHANY FOR ME THOUGH as i'm writing/drawing bc that last line i've been struggling w the most#but this. add some moe lore. I HAVE HUGE IDEAS ABOUT THE MOE LORE IN TANDEM W THE CANON IMPLICATIONS.#in short/minimal spoilers if i forget to expand on it later BUT IT'S SO HUGE TO ME. SO HUGE#but i think alfonse has Noticed. things about moe. similarities to himself. but it either#doesn't know it or refuses to acknowledge it. he isn't sure which yet. so when he says 'i hope you feel the same'#he's reaching out ala pre-skip dimitri fbs. asking moe to Consider This. AND. AND. IN TANDEM.#w the canon implications. that he doesn't think highly of himself and doesn't dare wait for an answer#AND. AND. HELP THERE'S A MOMENT THAT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY. he just commits a Blunder#that even moe's autistic ass catches him on. it all happens So quickly. in a fucking instant.#WHICH. WHICH. LED TO ME REALIZING THIS. he is trying TO CATCH HIMSELF HERE.#AND THE. ADDITION. of moe lore/the blunder why he tries to move on So quickly. please do NOT ask me questions i WILL throw up.#ALSO LIKE book 3 alfonse fresh in my mind. i did take a break after The Incident (gustav).#but like. goes so insane actually. this is really all he knows how to be. constantly in service to others. made to be a tool.#it's so fucked up bc you can see he is genuinely wired like that too. he WANTS to help. he wants to do good#but man................... i def don't have the words for it rn it's just so tragic. but i think about it All The Fucking Time.#GOD SORRY I'M HAVING ANOTHER ALEAR FB MOMENT. ALFONSE. ALFONSE.#cut off that tangent just to make a whole other post about it.#fe alfonse#moe tag#TAGGING IT. bc i rambled about it in the tags and it's MY OC I MAKE THE RULES 😤😤😤😤😤
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rage is a ✨way of life✨
#found out that i successfully angered someone by not showing up to work on saturday lmaoooooo#and im just like… gOOOOOOD. BE MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!#mans has no room to be mad anyway. it’s his fault i had to ot for 7 hours to cover his work for him in the first place soooooooo#a nd he’s getting demoted next year and im ahauxucjsjjsjsjsjxjdhss#in other news im kinda annoyed by my mother’s (unfortunate) pressuring of me to go to the upcoming family christmas gathering :(#like no way manssssss i haven’t seen the extended fam since my grandma’s funeral and i’d like to keep it that way thanks~~~~~~~~#and a c h r i s t m a s gathering of all places… m a n. im half expecting them to drag everyone to church to end off the gathering…#i wouldn’t put it past the hosting aunt to do that ngl. she had tricked me into attending a church service in the past and all…#like. man. there’s this local mall that has a similar name to said church service…#so ofc it’s normal to assume that said mall is what she was referring to when she said ‘let’s go to [insert name]!’ with no context right???#and uggshdhdjjsjsjdjs i don’t wanna be introduced to my cousins’ kids as ‘auntie [insert nickname i hate]’ bc that’s lame#and m a n. i definitely don’t wanna interact with my cousins’ kids. i either don’t know or can’t pronounce (or both) their names#i only remember the oldest one’s name (bc he has a stereotypical frat boy name) and the one who’s named after a ninja turtle#but none of the rest. i think some of them have names from my cousins’ spouses’ home countries? dk about the others though#i’m 80% sure one of the girls was named something like ‘triceratops’ but that doesn’t seem right…#being named after a dinosaur sounds cool though… or any prehistoric creature really#if i could choose my own name i’d like it to be ‘coelacanth’#just so i can say ‘i coelacan’t do it!!!!!’ if someone asked me to do something i don’t wanna do. the pun potentials are endless mans#huh. wow… i started this off with a mad coworker and ended it by turning into a coelacanth… how did we get here anyway…?#oh wells no one reads the tags anyway uehxudjdjdjsjsjss my secrets are ✨safe✨
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I got an email from my grandpa today and all the draft responses I’ve been working on in my head sound like an 18th century letter that’s going to have to travel for months to reach him.
pandemic year 5 really has me feeling like me and a very small handful of people I know are living on an entirely different plane of existence than everyone else
#like I haven’t seen him in over a year. I’ve seen him 3 times since 2020#so I guess on the isolation and slow communication front it’s pretty similar#he used my chosen name. I haven’t changed my email yet but he used my chosen name#I don’t even care at this point if he never gets my pronouns right#I thought I’d never be able to tell him. I didn’t want to find out his politics were more important#he’s quiet and kind and he gives people expensive gifts any time he can afford it but he constantly forgets people’s allergies#so he might get you something you can’t have but whoever you pass it along to will love it#he cries at weddings and during church services and sometimes random holidays#he passes out in his rocking chair at every family function#he’s the unofficial photographer of every gathering ever since my great grandfather stopped being able to walk as much as the job requires#and he voted for trump in 2016 and has afaik an active nra membership#he once complimented my outfit by telling me he’d call me a stud if I was a guy#which like. ok. I have some notes#but uh. thanks?#idk I’m just. it sucks being so far away from everyone and everything because the rest of the world is ignoring an ongoing pandemic#I’m missing so much of my life and others lives and even parts of my own transition#I can make steps to reach out but it only goes so far if poeple#are unwilling to mask or vaccinate or even just ask what needs to happen to make it safe#so I don’t. idk. kill my partner#or become even more disabled than I currently am#my family’s been making steps and they’re taking me seriously but it’s all so slow and I’m still sore from bracing for rejection#I’ve been bracing for rejection for so so long it’s terrifying to reach out. about anything#this is not condusive to a healthy relationship lol#not sure what to do other than bonk myself on the head and say ‘get better’ tho#*bonk* ‘try again’#one step at a time ig#ahshitherewegoagain.jpg#.txt
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i feel like this is a big "i'm not upset, just disappointed" moment.
like i'm NOT upset at them for trying to come up with a solution to the problem that is trying to properly fund their shows and have more creative freedom, but i AM disappointed because i, like many others, will just not be able to afford to pay for another streaming service for what is essentially one channel.
it's just sad to have to say goodbye to them and their content purely because of financial issues :(
#i don't have any other streaming services atm anyways but#to put ALL their content behind a paywall is LITERALLY cutting off everyone who cant pay#and this doesn't even include people like me who wouldn't be able to pay even if i had the money#because my parents are extremely religious and strict about what i watch so#again i'm not mad at them#just sad for myself and others in similar situations#watcher
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where do u think I can find those stickers for a cheap price ??? Tysm :3
depends on what stickers you mean!
We mostly purchase these via proxy service, which can be pricy. I would check on the proxy service Buyee, sometimes they have free shipping and mercari japan has a lot of good vintage stickers if you figure out what you want to search for 💕
For vintage American stickers, there are some etsy shops that sell good ones but you can also check Mercari USA, though their prices are higher typically
Hope this is helpful!!
#🕊️💌#💖#I'm sure there are similar services for other countries like Korea and China but I'm not familiar with them#rainydayzxd
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gotta think abt paz… and all her horrific training and conditioning and the fear she constantly lived in under zero and cipher’s thumb… being separated from her family and never knowing a moment of genuine warmth again until she came to mother base and connected with people for the first time. except they weren’t even getting to know her, just the persona she was using to infiltrate their group.
and she saw herself in nuke, a poor starving kitten that the soldiers took under their wing, and she hated him for being weak and needing to be taken care of because she was the same once, and she’ll never be that pathetic and worthless again. but that’s what she really needed. they took care of her on mother base like no one had ever done for her before, and she grew closer to nuke and took care of him too. and when the time came to betray them all for cipher, she almost couldn’t bring herself to do it.
but in the end she’s forced to go through with it, unprepared and screaming at snake and zero and the world. and maybe she knows she’ll lose the battle, but it’s not all terrible. she’s not afraid of death. she’s only afraid of zero. “when i stop and think about this wretched existence, being killed by a man like [big boss] suddenly does not seem like such a bad thing.”
#mgs#every now and then i get hit w extreme paz feelings#paz eva and ocelot all have a similar thing going on#when it comes to their usefulness and their self worth being nonexistent outside of it#and it all comes from how they were raised to be nothing but tools#not people at all#they’re used by others just like every character in this series#but there’s something extra sad to me about those three because they never truly break out of that mindset#they all live their lives in the service of another until they die#★
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I'm about to be so annoying btw
#by this I mean I'm going to talk about my job until it's no longer new and exciting sorry guys#but this is literally the first good thing to happen to me in MONTHS#shit has been so bad like SO unbelievably bad for a WHILE#like. not only do I have a job (!!!!!!) but it actually seems like a really good fit for me and what I need#like. the hours aren't horrible and in fact I could stand to have more of them#the pay isn't *good* but it's not the worst I've ever made for sure#the work environment though... that's where it gets me. because I get to just be one guy in a store interacting with customers and literally#nobody else#for most of my workday#like. no small talk except for with customers. no learning about my coworker's stupid life. no trying to get along with someone for the sake#of work#like. I just get to be alone and sell shit and when it's slow I get to organize shit like. hello??? yes please#I don't have to be micromanaged because I'm literally alone. like. god I'm so excited#plus it's similar to work I've done before. so. yay#I do really like the coworker I've met before though. he's very sedate and has excellent customer service.#which I know bc every time my mom shops there and he's the one working he's very genial and nice#definitely good at his job. but I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting high in the back or something lmao#he's just so calm ive never met a dude more chill like. he seems like the exact opposite of anxious#and then my other coworker I haven't met yet but I'm sure she's fine.#I do like my boss though! and she's only my boss until they get another manager bc she's actually the manager at another location too#she's just filling in here while they look for another manager#but I like her she was extremely up-front and no-nonsense and plainly stated exactly what she needs from an employer#employee*#which is honestly such a relief like my last job I felt like I had no clue what people wanted from me and it was horrible#but this seems better so far#also I know for a fact I beat out two other people who had interviews the same day and I was so much the preferred choice#that she didn't even wait to decide or anything#she called me like a few hours after my interview ended like. that 3rd person left and she immediately hired me instead lol#which I have to admit does feel good after so long feeling inadequate and unhirable.#I am more hirable than at least two people. so THERE
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