#yell at me if I’m back

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

I need to get off tumblr bc it’s family gathering time! Wohoo! /s

[foldingfittedsheets]

I worked retail for a long time and people really do treat you like shit sometimes. But between selling sex toys, mattresses, and jewelry I can say definitively I got treated worst selling mattresses.

All three of my jobs were in sales but selling sex toys we were allowed to put people in their place, and in jewelry people didn’t want to misbehave in a fancy setting. But people at the mattress store had no problem yelling at me, hitting on me, or insulting me to my face.

For a while I was managing my own store for the company. I ran a small location and had struggling employees placed with me for rehabilitation. If their numbers improved they could go back to bigger stores. If not, they got fired.

So this meant I was the manager of problem employees. At one point both of my people had a foot out the door. The company was going downhill and changed computer systems and they were fed up. Consequently, they made a ton of mistakes, because they just didn’t care about the job or learning the new systems.

I strolled into work on what was essentially my Monday to a shit show. Deliveries scheduled without product, wrong things on orders, poor expectations of the process, you name it. I spent the entire morning getting yelled at for mistakes that weren’t mine.

The final straw came when a man called furious that his moms bed for her nursing home had a delivery window he couldn’t accommodate. This wasn’t a huge disaster since we still had time to deliver it before she moved. I ran him through the options and he just kept screaming at me. Not for a solution but because I was there and he was frustrated.

My heart filled with malice and a cold fury. A calculating part of my brain had a realization in that moment that I could stay a punching bag or I could strike back.

I quavered my voice delicately, taking in a shaky, warbling breath like I was trying not to cry. “Sir,” I quivered through fake tears, “I don’t know what you want from me! I told you what I can do, I didn’t make this mistake I’m just trying to fix it!” My voice broke pitifully on the last syllables, sounding in all ways like a sweet innocent person being yelled at who’s just trying her best, really!

It was like I’d doused him with cold water. My emotional act was the realization that he was screaming at someone who was just doing their damn job, and he was being an asshole. He hastily made an excuse and hung up.

I had a third employee covering with me from another store that day who heard everything. When I hung up, I looked over to see them watching me with an awed expression. “Did… did you just pretend to cry?”

“I absolutely fucking did,” I said with feeling, “and I’d do it a thousand more times. If that’s what it takes for someone to realize they’re behaving like a fucking prick, they deserve it.” The employee looked at me like I was their hero.

The man called back, apologizing profusely, having magically arranged his schedule to accommodate delivery. He came in later that week with an apology Starbucks gift card. I was gracious in my acceptance.

I pulled it a few more times before leaving the company. I felt no shame in the ruse. If someone behaves so poorly that it’s plausible their behavior would drive someone to tears they deserve to feel absolutely wretched about it.

[crowatyourwindow]

Kenji and his cow Hanako II were the best duo from wan change my mind

[ivyithink]

[fandomrantsandtwittertakes]

[feelingtheaster99]

“Unnamed Bard Student, PLEASE!” 🤣

Literally that whole scene of Fabian’s final downtime was Lou demonstrating ONCE AGAIN that the man fucking COMMITS to the bit

[apostaterevolutionary]

The wildest thing about veilguard opinions is I see my fellow DA2 and similar fans of taste saying ‘I really wish these characters had more bite’ and I’m like. Yes, I agree, I would really like that. The characters having bite is a huge part of why I like DA2

And then I leave my bubble and I see someone be like ‘omg it’s so bullshit that certain characters get mad at me for making a choice in a no-win situation that negatively affects them’ and it’s got over 1500 likes and it’s like

As much as I, too, wish the characters had more bite (I actually wanted them to yell at me more for the above decision! People are irrational! Let them act like it and take out their grief on me for at least a second! Yell at me! Make me feel an emotion!), I think there’s a lot of people who say that’s what the want when in reality they absolutely do not. Those of us that genuinely want that seem to be in the minority and lbr, that’s probably why the companions are so pleasant - even this is too much bite for some people

[iguessitsjustme]

I can’t stop thinking about that scene in the library where Day drops the CDs and Mhok just watches him because it perfectly encapsulates why Day chooses Mhok out of everyone else to be his caretaker.

It’s not about the fact that Mhok treats him normally because everyone’s normal is different. For me, if I see someone drop something and struggle to pick it up, I jump in and help regardless of the reason it was dropped. Because that’s the kind of person I am. That’s normal for me, but it’s not normal for Mhok.

The reason Mhok is chosen is because he treats Day as capable. He knows Day can walk to him to get his library card. He knows Day can pick up the CDs. He doesn’t ignore Day’s disability but he doesn’t treat him like he’s limited by it (at least at first I’m sure this will change as he takes care of Day).

When Mhok crashed showed up for the initial interview, Day made a snarky comment about the reason they were hiring someone was because he can’t even manage to eat on his own without injuring himself. Day is tired and he’s angry and he used to be an athlete and now he can’t even feed himself without his mother worrying.

Day is angry about his situation but behind that and buried very deep is fear that this is his life forever. That he will never see again and he will need to rely on people for the rest of his life. Then Mhok comes along and he’s also angry. Mhok’s pain and grief isn’t something that can ever be cured but it can be healed. And their anger speaks to each other. Mhok sees the anger and fear and pain in Day and understands and sees his own anger and pain reflected back.

Also no one treats Mhok like he’s capable despite his skill set because of his past. He was in jail? Oh well I guess suddenly he doesn’t know how to be a mechanic anymore. Mhok and Day need each other because they treat each other as more than what society sees them as and they treat each other like they’re capable of more than the shit hands they’ve been dealt.

[flowercrowngods]

steve ‘floor time’ harrington and eddie ‘no one touch or perceive me’ munson. they flinch at every noise even though they expected a good night, a stable night, but something changed and they’re in sensory overload. steve tries to take eddie’s hand but he pulls away immediately, shrinking in on himself. steve hums and cocks his head, signalling eddie to follow him.

they leave the loud and lively living room, the kids yelling all over each other, and find a dark and empty room and just lie on the floor for a while before they’re ready to come back. they don’t talk, don’t touch, just lie there next to each other. eddie takes steve’s hand when he’s ready for touch again. they start talking in hushed voices, bringing noise back, rebooting their senses, slowly and gently easing each other in again.

when they come back, hand in hand, mike turns down the music and lucas makes sure to remind people not to talk too loudly. the boys are drained, but the kids try their best. they’re all trying their best.

[cookinguptales]

[laurrelise]

ok so: the umbrella academy except it’s about the hargreeves siblings in 40 years when five is a very, very old man but really in his early 50’s while the rest of the siblings are senior citizens whom five has to take care of against his will

someone please read the tags and yap about this with me. thank you

[thursdaysyme]

Sleepover shenanigans

[fulcrum-art-fox]

One thing, while I appreciate that during the fraught moments post girlie’s first murder and then the powerfully emotional reconciliation with the sister who did not in fact murder their whole family wouldn’t really have been the best time for it, I was totally waiting for the moment between the twins where Osha would turn to Mae like, “did you steal my fucking droid Mae”

[javierduffy]

random sleep headcanon time let's go

when the boys aren't sleeping with Javi's head laying on Kieran's chest (yep, that was me!), they're spooning. Javier is the little spoon. Kieran will never admit it was almost entirely a bid to stop falling off the bed in the middle of the night (they both shift around a lot)

Kieran picked up a bit of Spanish while he was in the army, so when he and Javier are both a little bit sleep deprived and a bit more drunk they're giggling and gossiping about the rest of the gang

Javier is NOT a morning person and it's only when he gets older does he somewhat begin to tolerate them. if only to get more cuddle time with his hubby and see the sunrise splash across Kieran's face

Kieran is a bit of a blanket hog which is fine most of the time bc Javi runs warm and it's only in the winter that it becomes a problem because Javier hates the cold

(slaps roof of car) these bad boys can fit SO many nightmares in them. it's very rare they wake up thrashing and screaming tho. mostly their eyes shoot open and they tense up for a few moments, and many times one has woken up to the other staring at them, checking their pulse. bone-crushing cuddles and tea ensue.

(good ending/modern) have fun getting out of bed in the morning when your cats have found the exact locations and positions to make slipping out of bed impossible without waking someone up. Kieran spends about an extra 10 minutes in bed every morning trying to escape when Javier is wrapped around him, one cat is loafed on his chest, another one is curled up between his legs, and his arm has gone numb under the third. he wouldn't change a thing <3

FALLS TO MY KNEES YOURE SO RIGHT THESE ARE SO CUTE WAAAAHHHH 💔💔💔💔☹️☹️☹️☹️

personally i do believe that they swap back and forth on who’s the big spoon and who’s the little spoon but most of the time javier is indeed the little spoon. mostly because their height difference makes it the most comfortable but also because javi will prop his leg up on kieran like this in his sleep and sometimes it will make him wake up with terrible back pain so to avoid it, kieran gets big spoon privileges

also i think javier would really begin to enjoy being the little spoon after ch4 because while he can’t directly listen to kieran’s heartbeat, he can squeeze in tight and feel it on his back, and combining that with the warmth of kieran’s body and the heat of his breathing on his scalp, it’s just as comforting.

on the spanish note, i’ve been becoming more and more fond of the idea of kieran having a baseline understanding of spanish … at first i was leaning towards him not knowing a lick, just so javi can have language privacy for when he has his dramatic moments, but now it’s almost canon to me that kieran could at the very least navigate himself through a situation in which spanish is the only language the people around him could speak. though i think most of his gossip is going to be spanglish LOL which is even cuter to me 💔 (insert toby fox “toho project” accent changes) javier teaches him more and more words and they get more and more mean girl-y the more “privacy” they have in those conversations. they’re so cute 💔💔💔

“many times one has woken up to the other staring at them, checking their pulse” i have to d*e that makes me SO MISERAVLE BECAUSE YOURE RIGHT especially javier, not only because he’s almost explicitly lost kieran once, but also because he’s literally lived his entire life up until now dedicated to protecting the lives of those he loves (ie; fleeing to america to protect his family, not himself). so of course the first thing he’s going to do when he wakes up in fight or flight is to make sure the reason he is living is still alive. if kieran is still breathing, then javier is too. i can see javier curling up tight with his head on kieran’s chest, letting the rhythm of his heart ground him. kieran wakes up from nightmares cold and alone and he can’t see the world around him. he’ll gasp like he can’t breathe and sit up and pull his knees to his chest and, without fail, javier will reach out to his warmth and touch him- more often than not still in his sleep. it’s usually enough to snap kieran out of the flashback, at least to the point where he can grab javi’s hand and pull it up to his face, where he closes his eyes and treads his partners fingertips along his neck and cheeks to ensure to himself that he’s okay and safe. even if javier wakes up (which, as a man on the run, there’s no way he’d sleep through it), he’ll stay slack, watching kieran’s face slowly soften and his breathing slow enough that he won’t at least pass out. you’re entirely correct that following this, they hold each other tight, make sure they’re both warm as can be, and they’ll make/get some sort of tea or snack for the other. they don’t talk much, maybe a question here or there about a preference for the comfort but otherwise they just do things that remind the other that they’re both still alive enough to love.

THE LAST ONE OOUGGH YOUR EMAKING ME YHINK ABOUT ME AND JJ’S (rip jj my beloved (they’re not dead just inactive)) CENTURIES OLD MODERN JAVIERAN CAT SANCTUARY AU LOL in every life, javieran have cats. i don’t even think kieran can avoid attracting animals, and javier WILL cause a 10 car pileup on the highway if he sees a cat in need of rescuing. anyway, you’re completely right 😭💔 kieran always gets up first, even on the days that javier has work in the morning, so he’s the one who has to peel himself out of bed away from his fluffy, warm cell. he also has to try to shush two of the cats that begin their loud objections to his abhorrent behavior (of getting up to make coffee) so that they don’t wake javier up. he has to hush them all the way out of the room and into the kitchen, there in which the meowing becomes louder, as they’ve now become demands of compensation via food for waking them up so early. pepita, javier’s cat, always stays in bed with him until he wakes up, no matter what she is enticed with.

oh i love them im going to be sick thank you for sharing your thoughts with me they’re always so sweet 😭💔 u and i we’re the soft, fluffy javieran cavalry

[phoenixmetaphor]

Day 4 - Real-life Captain America

[proshipconfessions]

Responding to your last post about proshippers complaining about other proshippers. You didn't provide this option, but I really think it should depend on the content of the ask... And yes, this is a confession blog for proshippers/profic, etc. aligned people. Telling us to go to antiship confession blogs is horrifically stupid and is only going to put us in dangerous positions.

The proship community is not immune from being shitty. There are proshippers who act just like antis. People who think they can change their race and give themselves disabilities are straight up infecting the community as well. There are proshippers who are horrifically ableist against pwOSDDID, schizospec disorders, etc. There are proshippers who straight up use slurs they can not reclaim. There are proshippers who call people the r slur. I especially think proshippers with these disorders (including myself) should have a safe outlet to talk about the toxicity and abuse within our own community without telling us to basically become an anti. Because what the hell???

Of course, I can't read every single anon that you get, but if they are anything along the lines of what I'm talking about here, consider not deleting them. Especially don't tell people to "just become antis" or "just go to antiship confession blogs." That's harmful as fuck.

If anything, these confessions should serve as a reality check that our community isn't perfect. Or serve to remind people that this behavior shouldn't or won't be tolerated in the proship community. Not every self-proclaimed "proshipper" is actually a proshipper, especially if they act abusive, ableist, or harass people like antis do. I will die on this hill.

If you don't want to house confessions about these topics, that's fine. Just say so, and I'll make my own confessional blog where these topics are allowed.

You’re right that there are plenty of people who are proship and also shitty af. It’s something that I’ve both posted plenty of confessions about and have actually even—in case you haven’t been familiar with my blog for a while—made my own post about! It’s like one of just a few posts that I have made speaking directly from my mouth and not a confession. It’s just a post that I wrote about behavior that I hate seeing pop up far too commonly in this community. I literally can’t count how many people I have blocked, which includes not only antis, but also shitty proshippers and pricks who claim to be them while supporting harm caused to others in real life.

You’re also right that you can’t read every anon that I get. I would have much preferred that you even just ask what kind of thing I’m talking about instead of acting like you’re some secret second mod and I’m just some asshole who refuses to hold anyone or any behavior accountable as long as I agree with them on some level.

I really do wonder what you would think about one of the (many with a similar tone) asks that inspired this post.

Do you know how many anons I get with the same fucking attitude and the same fucking insistence that they’re right and I’m wrong and evil, and yet I’m somehow the perfect mouthpiece for their beliefs? What reality check is this supposed to be giving me? Please either stop assuming that everything I say is in bad faith or genuinely try to explain to me what the good content for my followers is in this ask. This is the behavior that I mocked in my post. I also have an old one that I think is somewhere in my drafts(?) where the evil behavior that they’ve seen among a bunch of proshippers that has made them hate all proshippers is venting about harassment from antis. The fake post I made mocking them is an amalgamation of those two, but you only get this one since I’m way too tired to go find the other one rn lol. If someone reminds me, I can reblog it with it later.

Also, I really can’t tell where I said in my post that I would tell these people to go to antiship blogs (other than my reference to a comment where I said that if all that people send to my inbox is how much they hate proshippers and basic proship ideology, then they should probably take that to an anti blog) instead of just deleting the ask, like I actually said in the post. The post that was really more of a way to let off some steam while getting some use out of the Tumblr polls that I practically never get to do anything with. Do you think that the person in those screenshots that I put above is more at home here than they’d be sending this to some anti’s blog?

But like to try to put myself in your shoes, you could’ve been having a shitty day when you sent this, you could be young, or hell, you could’ve seen someone say something similar to my statement recently while meaning this shitty completely different thing. Or maybe you’ve never seen my blog in your life and have no clue what kind of stuff I do/don’t post. My response might sound super defensive, and I hope that it doesn’t, and that I’m not jumping to conclusions, too. I’d hate to blow this out of proportion over what could easily be just a misunderstanding. If I’m being too harsh, sorry. I aim any coldness towards all of these bigoted ideas and the idea that I hold them, and not at you as a person, as I’m willing to believe that you’re an entirely rational person who just misunderstood me and lashed out at me bc of it. But if there is a next time, please try to give me the benefit of the doubt. I don’t ever intend to do anything harmful, and what I said wasn’t intended to imply anything like what you’re saying here at all. I’m not talking about proshippers venting. I’m talking about actual antis coming into my inbox with the “I’m like TECHNICALLY a proshipper, I guess, but I just despise proshippers and think that people who engage with certain types of fiction are inherently bad!!!” So unless you’re one of these people coming into my inbox, then I am NOT telling YOU to go to antiship confession blogs. And if you are… well, then you’re probably not gonna see this, since I’m going through and blocking all of these dickheads soon.