#anyway I have more thoughts on that but those are thoughts for later maybe

[arannellahowlett]

Something's Not Right

Note: So this was actually half done when it was requested by someone so here we are...I hope you brought tissues. Song used for inspiration was Something's Not Right by Lilly Allen. I hope this is angsty enough for those who were looking for it..

Warnings: child loss, angst

Summary: Kyle gets a call that his wife has been rushed to the hospital...

“Sergeant Garrick, my name is Maddison, I’m a nurse at Royal London Hospital, your wife Y/N was brought in about 10 minutes ago, is there anyway that you can get here and quickly?” Came the soft voice of the stranger on the other side of the phone. A voice that he would undoubtedly remember for the rest of his life.

They wouldn’t let him drive himself, Price had taken his keys to his SUV and got in the driver’s seat. Soap and Ghost refused to stay behind and hopped in the back seat without a word. Kyle sat silently watching out the window, scenery passing by, but he didn’t really see anything, he was too lost in his thoughts. The nurse, after confirming that Kyle was in fact on his way, had gone on to explain what was happening, and it terrified him.

Y/N had been on her way to meet a friend for lunch, leaving the house and heading for the subway. Two men had been arguing near the steps down to the platform, shoving each other, and one horribly timed push later. Y/N was tumbling down the steps, her 7-month pregnant belly taking the brunt of it. His usually steady hands are shaking where they rest on his thighs. He tries not to think of what could happen. Everything was going to be fine.

Kyle was out of the car and running before it had even stopped, people staring at him as he ran through the halls of the hospital in his tactical gear, they had been running drills, and he hadn’t stopped to change. He managed to find the emergency department without too much trouble and approached the reception desk.  A tired, older looking nurse with greying hair observed the man for a moment, trying to gauge how this was going to go, she’d seen many a time where families had rushed in and been downright hostile.

“Someone called me. Maddison? My wife, Y/N Garrick was brought in, maybe 45 minutes ago? Can I see her?”

The nurse’s eyes widened. She knew exactly who Y/N was because her arrival had caused quite a stir. She took a breath and motioned for him to follow her. “Come with me,”

The nurse led him to a little sitting room off to one side…a very, private room. Once he was in the room, the nurse spoke again. “Please wait here, I am going to grab her nurse.”

Kyle nodded, taking off his cap and running a hand through his short hair. Before the nurse went out of the room, he called out to her. “I have some friends who are with me, can they be brought back?” The nurse had stopped, turning back to him she nodded before disappearing around the corner. Kyle was pacing the room when she came back with the team, the three men sharing a look when they realized that a private waiting area wasn’t a good sign.

They waited in silence, Soap sitting in the corner, legs and arms crossed, anxiously pulling at the tools on his utility belt. John was seated across from him, watching Kyle pace, and Ghost was leaning against the wall, close to the door with his arms crossed. It wasn’t long before another nurse arrived, this one younger but looking just as tired, if not more so.  Kyle stopped his pacing immediately. She looked around the room at each of the men.

“Sergeant Garrick?” She asked, needing to confirm just who the husband in question was. She had a good idea by the pacing but needed to be sure. When he nodded to her, she took a deep breath. “I’m Maddison. I think you should sit.”

That’s not a good sign he thought but did as he was told. “When can I see my wife?”

“It really should be a doctor speaking with you right now…but he can’t.” Maddison sighed before sitting across from him. “Y/N is in surgery right now. When she was pushed, her front took the brunt of things…the impact caused a placental abruption.” She waited for it to sink in before continuing. “This means, that the placenta has torn away from the uterus and has caused extensive bleeding. The doctor is one of the best in the world and he’s doing all he can to save her.

Kyle turned to look at Maddison, his face tense. “Her? Not them?” He’d picked up on it right away, the whole team had.

Maddison nodded sadly; this wasn’t going to be easy. “W-when your wife was brought in, she had already lost so much blood, and the baby was without oxygen for too long. When we did our initial testing, it indicated that the baby had passed.” Maddison paused. “I am so sorry; I know this is hard.”

Kyle swore his own heart had stopped. Just this morning he had been cuddling with Y/N, talking to the bump, excited for their future, for the daughter who would complete their family. A future that was brutally ripped from him and now Y/N was fighting for her life as well. He covered his face with his hands for a moment, feeling all eyes in the room on him. He took a deep breath before looking up at the nurse.

“Does she know?” He had to know what he was in for when she came out of surgery.

Maddison shook her head. “No, she was unconscious when she came in. I’m sorry I know nothing I say right now is going to make this better. I need to check on some patients, if you need anything, just pop out to the desk and they’ll grab me, as soon as I hear something I will let you know.” With that Maddison gone, Kyle was sure he saw her wiping her eyes as she went.

Kyle stared at the spot that she had just left. He had so many thoughts running through his head. Price and Soap were talking to him, but he couldn’t hear them. Instead, he was focused on how he was going to tell his wife that their baby was gone…and if he ever saw the man that pushed her, well he was going to wish that he’d never been born. He stayed lost in his thoughts for what felt like in reality it was just over two hours.

Another nurse came to update him. Y/N had pulled through surgery was now in a private room on one of the surgical floors. The team left for the night, giving their condolences. Price promised to stop by when he was given the go ahead, knowing that the support was going to be needed. Soap was going to drop off some clothes for him.

Kyle slowly made his way to the room, stopping outside the door. He didn’t go in right away. Instead, he stood tense, looking in the small window. He couldn’t see much, just the window and the bottom of the bed. He took a breath before pushing the door open. Y/N looked tiny in the bed, she was asleep, pale, a heart monitor beeping and an IV one with medication and another bag with blood. There was a chair next to the bed and he pulled it close so that he could sit next to the bed, taking her hand in his, his eyes went to her stomach where just 8 hours ago their child had been comfortably growing. It didn’t look much different, had he not known, he would think that she was still pregnant.

Kyle didn’t know how long that he sat there watching her, never letting go of her hand. He took in the bruises on her arms, her face and God only knew where else he would find bruises on her.  He watched as she slowly started to stir, her eyes flickering under her closed eyelids and a groan coming from her. He squeezed her hand, letting her know that he was there. When her eyes were finally open, he could see the confusion as they finally were able to focus. She looked around the room before her eyes landed on his face.

“Kyle? W-what happened?” She was scared, he could tell. He squeezed her hand again, standing to lean over her and gently pressing a kiss on her forehead, smoothing her hair out. He took a deep breath before speaking.

“What do you remember love?” He needed to know so he could gauge how to handle the situation.

Y/N sat silently for a moment. “We got up, you showered, I made breakfast, you went to work, and I was going for lunch with Carrie.” Her eyes widened “Oh my god I fell…”

Kyle sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed and shook his head. “No love, you were pushed, went all the way down the tube stairs.” He watched the emotions flicker on her face, the shock turning into panic as her hands went to her stomach.

“K-Kyle? Is the baby okay.” He closed his eyes for a moment, resting his head against hers and wrapping his arms around her. How was he supposed to tell her?

“Sweetheart, I don’t…” He took a breath before cupping her cheek and turning her face to look at him. She knew he could tell by the look in her eyes. “I-I’m sorry love, we lost her.”

The wail that left his wife didn’t sound human. His heart clenched at the sounds and all he could do was hold her as she sobbed against him.  Kyle wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that. He didn’t know what to say, what to do, so he just held her.

What seemed like hours later, a nurse came to check on Y/N. The nurse was quiet, checking her vitals. Before leaving the nurse hesitated for a moment. “I don’t know if anyone has offered…but if you want to see your daughter, we can bring her in.  Normally you’d get to right away but with the surgery…”

Kyle felt guilty immediately. Not once had he thought about seeing his daughter. He was about to ask if they could have a few minutes, but Y/N spoke up. “Please, I need to see her.” It came out as barely a whisper, but she could be heard.

The nurse nodded, promising to return as soon as she could. Kyle held her close, concerned but also anxious to see their child. It wasn’t long before the nurse came back, carrying a tiny, wrapped bundle. Y/N bit her lip, fighting back tears but reaching out. Kyle held his breath as his wife took their baby into her arms, gently pulling the blanket away from the tiny face. He didn’t know why he did it, but he pulled out his phone, taking a few photos of them together without her knowing, Y/N’s focus being completely on the still baby in her arms. She had pulled the baby as close to her as she could, her forehead nearly touching the baby’s.

“I am so, so sorry baby girl, mama couldn’t protect you and now you don’t even get a chance…” she said, her heart breaking even further. “Mama loves you Cassidy, so much.”

Kyle, who had yet to allow himself to cry, felt the burning in his nose as tears tried to make their way out. “It’s not your fault love, not even a little.” He managed to choke out, he reached out, running a finger down the baby’s tiny cheek. “She’s…perfect.”

Y/N looked at him, her eyes full of tears again, she reached up resting her hand on his face. “She is…” She looked down at the baby again. “She has your stupidly perfect nose and chin.”

Kyle stared at Cassidy. Yes, she did have his nose and chin, but she had Y/N’s lips, her heart-shaped face, her hair, that was all Y/N. Y/N held the baby out to him, and he hesitated for a moment before taking her into his arms. She was so tiny, but so perfect. With her in his arms he finally broke, clutching her to his chest he let the tears fall, he buried his face into the bundle in his arms and sobbed, his body shaking. Y/N’s heart broke further, her strong, unflappable husband was crumbling to pieces in front of her and there was nothing she could do to fix it. She leaned against him, feeling one of his arms going around her shoulders, pulling her close so that they could cry together.

The nurse, who had silently returned to check on the broken family, slowly backed out of the room, closing the door behind her. She’d come back later. The family had a very long road ahead and she hoped that they had the support that they would need to get through this tragedy.

[eri-pl]

Lots of super interesting thoughts!!! I'll probably keep rotating them in my head for some time.BTW sorry for replying to you like in an old-school email, but it's the most convenient here.

There seems to be some in-world mythological confusion about what "the end of the world" even means, similarly how "the Void" can be either the interstellar void or the void outside of Existence

Oh, yes. The void is also confusing. And think this is not wholly unrelated. Limits of time; limits of space. [Reminds me of how @eloquentsisyphianturmoil said that the Door of Night is related to the Halls of Mandos, those two discussions have the same vibe for me — oh wait, they are related!

Because if end of Ea = Morgoth jumps in = it destroys the Halls somehow (I still don't quite like it but not for factual reasons)… OK, are the Halls of Mandos Arda-specific? This feels like a moot question, because only on Arda there are Men and Elves— or are we certain about it?

There's a whole bag of worms here.

We know that Elves are bound to Arda for as long as it lasts, but the Ainur are instead bound to Ëa.

Yes, but it's a scale issue. There is still the question of what do they do when Ea ends. But yes, you are right that this may be read as separate question from the Second Music.

Also, Athrabeth is late writings, adjacent to the round-Arda-from-the-start and generally, more scientific vibe, so I guess here we're talking a bit more like "the sun dies out" end of Arda... maybe.

Also also, I need to check what are the Valar bound to, I think it may have been "various Ainur for various planets, bound to them".

OK, my Silm says "World", so… I'm not sure. BoLT is even more vague. Also I only now realized that the part where I've drawn a smiley face on my Silm and on my BoLT are probably evolutions of the same point in text. :) <3 [yes I do underline and comment on some books. In pencil! Or eraseable ballpoint pen. I did it with non-eraseable pen when I was a kid, and staying in the thematic area of this post, iirc my copy of CSL's "the last battle" had a certain sentence or couple of them underlined back in the time when I thought they were cool and not "you should have taken some lessons from John and learn what to omit"… I'm not even sure what is my opinion now tbh. anyway back to the post.]

The First Music created the whole universe, but apparently the Second Music is not played after the end of that universe, only the end of Arda

This may be a version incompatibility issue, and I think it is, because myy intuition for what Tolkien wanted says "Second Music after/at the end of Ea".

Though just like with some other ideas, I could probably make it work, as long as we throw away the "Arda is our mythic prehistory" I think I could roll with this… But not n any particularly canon way… Hmm. Needs more thought. You people keep saying very interesting things recently! <3 (Even more interesting than usual)

Which makes me think that the Second Music is not a separate thing (as in, another work of art), but an extension of the First.

I've always assumed it's more like a reprise than an unrelated work.

neither is it limited to the Timeless Halls (which would exclude not only the Elves

I think this is based on an assumption that the Silmarillion does not confirm or deny.

I generally treat the term "Music" as quite abstract, the closes thing to what actually happened that the Incarnates could comprehend. I imagine the Second Music for people living in Time to be just that - living. The whole life makes the Music.

Oh, I love the last sentence!

Not necessarily the whole construct of Arda ends → Second Music → Ea ends much later. On the other hand, I have no idea on what version Tolkien settled or would settle, and I can see where this would be coming from, also, funnily—

OK, a short summary of a large interpretational idea, which can probably be detalized in many various ways— Arda as our mythical past, but as in "our actual world [is/is made of/whatever] the Second Music".

Or, you know, like in an album (I'm not thinking about Les Mis, you're thinking about Les Mis) where you have song1, song2,… many songs and then a reprise that is like a medley of all those and, like, closes all of them.

I didn't have enough sleep, so excuse me if that's too chaotic to read. Also I'm bad at thinking about Silm canon without making a lot of assumptions. I hope other people, who are better at it, will add their thoughts about what you wrote too.

Hmm sometime later I should look at all the replies I got on this (I love them) and write a summary of our thoughts. This would be nice to have.

Let's discuss:

What do you think: what happens to the Valar after Arda breaks (or whatever it does, anyway it ends somehow)?

(Or should I say "what will happen"? But for fictional end-of-the-world present tense feels more natural to me. I'm not sure why.)

Both in the terms of "what Tolkien intended at various points of his career" and of "what makes the most sense with the Legendarium". With whatever version.

Let's ignore Morgoth (and Sauron etc), assume they've been dealt with in some way that works (if you prefer this including "Sauron is good now", ok, why not) and that no other Ainur got depressed because of it.

Whatever happened, we're discussing just the good guys now. Because it is a mess anyway so let's try to narrow it down for now. It's still a very difficult question, I think.

So, the Second Music. Where is it sung and is it material? (well as much as music is material anyway, but I think you know what I mean)

On one hand, the Music of the Ainur was clearly not material (because matter did not exist), and its being a music feels somewhat like an approximation. And took place (it's not a place but whatever) in the Timeless Halls.

On the other hand, Men are said to sing in the Second Music (and maybe the Elves too, unclear), so… will it be material? Or does this mean "the spirits of Men"? Will it be more of a literal music than the first one, or not? Where will it be sung?

(If we simply copy and paste a solution from outside the Legendarium, it still leaves a lot of questions, depending on how much do we copy)

(Also, Athrabeth Finrod ah Andreth is not an answer. It is a question (and no, I don't mean a "the answer is yes" question (though this too), but an open question. It's a discussion of two characters, not anyt sort of explanations, and it leaves more questions than it answers. but if you want to elaborate starting from this text, you're welcome.)

But yes, even with those disclaimers, "the Second Music immaterial; spirits; it reboots Arda into Arda Healed" seems like the most fitting solution. Especially if we ignore the whole "and then Feanor reboots the Trees" thing which… for me the important part of that is "Fefe gets over his issues", and that we can keep.

And generally, what do the Valar do afterwards?

On one hand, in Ainulindale chapter (or was it in Valaquenta? nvm) it seems like their being on Arda is temporary. On the other, with Arda Healed… It's still Arda, in a way.

So do the Valar still govern it (I need to remind myself that Manwë having a burnout is not canon), or… what? Do they live there, or in the Timeless Halls, or are they free to move between those (and somehow the Elves and Men don't get jealous about it).

And if the answer is "the Timeless Halls effectively get moved to Arda" – ok, this solves some questions, but why? why. All the other Ainur were not interested in material existence. Why would this be a thing? It seems quite out-of-the-blue and random.

I'd love to see your thoughts (plural "you", though I'm sure some will have more intense thoughts than others :) )

[iguessitsjustme]

I can’t stop thinking about that scene in the library where Day drops the CDs and Mhok just watches him because it perfectly encapsulates why Day chooses Mhok out of everyone else to be his caretaker.

It’s not about the fact that Mhok treats him normally because everyone’s normal is different. For me, if I see someone drop something and struggle to pick it up, I jump in and help regardless of the reason it was dropped. Because that’s the kind of person I am. That’s normal for me, but it’s not normal for Mhok.

The reason Mhok is chosen is because he treats Day as capable. He knows Day can walk to him to get his library card. He knows Day can pick up the CDs. He doesn’t ignore Day’s disability but he doesn’t treat him like he’s limited by it (at least at first I’m sure this will change as he takes care of Day).

When Mhok crashed showed up for the initial interview, Day made a snarky comment about the reason they were hiring someone was because he can’t even manage to eat on his own without injuring himself. Day is tired and he’s angry and he used to be an athlete and now he can’t even feed himself without his mother worrying.

Day is angry about his situation but behind that and buried very deep is fear that this is his life forever. That he will never see again and he will need to rely on people for the rest of his life. Then Mhok comes along and he’s also angry. Mhok’s pain and grief isn’t something that can ever be cured but it can be healed. And their anger speaks to each other. Mhok sees the anger and fear and pain in Day and understands and sees his own anger and pain reflected back.

Also no one treats Mhok like he’s capable despite his skill set because of his past. He was in jail? Oh well I guess suddenly he doesn’t know how to be a mechanic anymore. Mhok and Day need each other because they treat each other as more than what society sees them as and they treat each other like they’re capable of more than the shit hands they’ve been dealt.

[odd-chips]

Here's a big post of some of my doodles of [Cap'n and crew] that I haven't posted yet! Couple are comics, couple are shitposts, you know how it goes.

(Also have some extra character tidbits beneath the cut!)

Cap'n (she/they) has become a Spongebob-adjacent "married to the job" type with sprinklings of "they are not immune to rose-tinted Company propaganda". Cartoonishly loyal to work, she's more upset about lying to the boss about her condition over actually becoming a monster on work time (though she isn't particularly a fan of being a monster, either).

Skeets (she/her) was already implied to be pretty optimistic and curious, but I've doubled down on this. She's constantly curious about entities and the state of her co-workers, asking questions and absorbing new information. She's also extremely lucky when it comes to encountering entities.

Mav (she/him), as implied by her nearly leaving Cap'n behind in the first comic, has become a "I won't hesitate, bitch" bitch. Split second decisions aren't an issue for her, she WILL shoot first and ask questions later. (She also now has a gambling addiction, haha. LOVES betting credits on things)

Kid (he/him) is now Irish. I will not elaborate. He's kind of literally the same otherwise. He's also in major inherited debt because of a Company-caused clerical error, but don't worry about it.

Uh. That's about it, I suppose!

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I've been thinking a lot about Leonarda's not-death ever since it happened back in April.

("What death?" you might ask, to which I say: "EXACTLY!")

Back in mid-April, Vegetta and Leonarda were mining together in a one-block wide tunnel. A mob (a Petriman) got between the two of them, and Vegetta told Leonarda to step back while he took care of it. At this point, they'd spent enough time together that he trusted Leo to listen to him.

Instead, she was killed by the same sweeping edge bug that killed her siblings.

-

Vegetta's reaction here is what's really interesting to me. Unlike most other parents on the Island, there are no shouts or tears – only a very brief "Hmm" and then silence. He very quietly takes stock of the situation, saying "Vegetta, no" and wondering aloud why Leo didn't defend herself. In chat, Foolish says "It was a bug, right? LAG" to which Vegetta slowly responds "Yes, lag. Bug." (Despite this, Foolish still asks "WHAT HAPPENED" in chat, though Vegetta doesn't reply).

Instead, he creates a slightly wider space in the tunnel where Leo's body is. He continues quietly taking stock of the situation, wondering why Leo didn't defend herself (which is what necessitated his intervention). She'd been lagging a lot that day, and he figures that must be the cause, and eventually when Leo re-appears out of thin air in the middle of the cave and collects her stuff, she confirms that the lag got to her and that's why she didn't fight the mob.

Now here's where things get interesting:

Vegetta checks the tab list. Online, it's just him, Leonarda, Roier, and Foolish. He quietly tells Leonarda "The body has already disappeared, and without a body, there is no crime. Nothing is happening. Did you die?" Leo shakes her head, and Vegetta shakes his head too, and in the kind voice he uses sometimes with Leo, he says: "I believe you have not died. Where is the body? It isn't anywhere, no mija. If it was a mistake, it was a mistake."

Leo says: "I saw Diosito (God) pa, and I was scared. God, what am I doing here?" and Vegetta laughs, telling her it's alright. Leo says "No pasa nada (don't worry / nothing happened)" and Vegetta says: "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." To Foolish and Roier, he messages: "Secreto."

And the funniest thing about this is it worked.

Not a single person spoke about it. I saw this entire event go down live and I didn't see a WHISPER of what transpired among fans. I can't even remember if the QSMP official accounts talked about it (they sure didn't mention it in Vegetta's recap of the day). We could discuss this in meta terms of course– Leo was having known lag issues that day, Vegetta's beloved by the admins so of course they're willing to turn a blind eye rather than slap a "?" over Leonarda's life on the Eggstatistics, but meta talk isn't what I'm interested in here.

I'm interested in q!Vegetta, the weird "god-adjacent" aura he's got, and the way the universe bends to his will.

Before he took a break from the server, Rubius seemed to be a caretaker for the Eggs who died (for example, he was present when Maxo, Quackity, and Mariana & Slime said their final goodbyes to Trumpet, Tilin, and JuanaFlippa). Because of his role as an "angel" and some of his dialogue during the early days of the server, it's not a stretch to say he probably came to collect any Egg who lost a life. I can imagine he did the same when he saw Leonarda die – that is, until Vegetta said "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." Realistically, we know Vegetta was saying this to Chat (and possibly the admins as well), but again, we're looking at this from an "in-universe" perspective.

I wonder if Vegetta was aware of Rubius' role, and this was his way of telling Rubius "No. I won't allow that to happen." We know Rubius has a soft-spot for Vegetta (and we also know that Rubius was cast out of heaven several months later) so it makes me wonder if these two instances are connected.

Either way, this isn't the first time the laws of the QSMP universe have bent for Vegetta, and I certainly don't think it'll be the last.

Rubius or no, Leo didn't die that day.

Vegetta made sure of it.

[misersdream]

Slay the Prince - The Tower

[puppppppppy]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

[crystalpallette]

Hello, deranged doppelquestioner here once again at 01:02 to ask the question:

How does Carbuncle have merch, let alone bootleg merch, if The Arles(collective) also have Carbuncle.

BETTER QUESTION UNLOCKED: Is Satan rich and famous and turned Carbuncle into merch(possibly puyoesque video games?) which has since been rippes off, and did The Arles take him anyways. Are The Arles down to do crime. Are The Arles down to do gay? To others because I just realized how that sounds im not that sleepy yet. They have a good role model in Ally.

Have a good day btw :3

Hi this just occured to me id have put it in the last post if I could have. Rarle and Blarle, That is all. -Dopplepondererer at approximately 01:12

rarle and blarle is hysterical thank you so much. to (finally) answer your question: the short answer is that it's "carbuncle" merch in the way that all "simple white rabbit" merch is miffy merch, if that makes sense?

the long answer is. well. i drew it.

the longer answer, because that technically doesn't answer the question very clearly either, is that this is word-of-god retconning to justify giving them something that realistically would not exist. it's "totally generic yellow rabbit" that totally isn't carbuncle. no see look the yellow rabbit doesn't have a rubelcrack. but it is... carbuncle. i swear. for the rest of the ask; i have no idea where satan is? maybe he's the ~enigmatic masked headmaster~ again. maybe he's a teacher. maybe he's... the arles's weird family friend? i'm imagining the arles live apart from their parents for [INSERT REASON HERE] and maybe satan is the dude that checks in on them sometimes on behalf of their parents. i'll figure out where he goes someday. the arles are also infinitely down to be gay do crime, though arle would need a bit more convincing than doppel. they do have a good role model in ally, tbh all of us should follow her example. love everyone and be gay about it

[skunkes]

might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.

any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc

[seaofreverie]

I knew about the post concert depression but no one told me about the post concert constant feeling of AAAAAAAAAHHH that lasts days and makes everything much more bearable and beautiful and some sort of ethereal type of hope is restored into the world, or maybe it's just the "seeing your favourite band after first thinking that it would never happen and later spending many months waiting for it all the while fearing that it wouldn't happen after all because of circumstances outside my control or feeling like it was too beautiful and wonderful to be true so ofc it wouldn't come true" part of it all

[dreamsy990]

i drew silly gijinkas of my dogs

the dogs in question

[mercless]

🗡 mad cowboy disease....

[skeletalheartattack]

Im soooooo hungry i neeed.... gaming trivia. tO live 😺

i mostly just have TF2 trivia, as its history has always been something ive always been fascinated with, so i hope these suffice:

The Pyro's Beta Head: While 8 of the 9 classes had their heads redone throughout development (to better show off Valve's new facial flex system), only the Pyro was left untouched, leaving them as the only class to still have their beta head.

Reference Posing Medics: In "Trailer 2", there are two Medics who are in their reference pose, during the first-person sequence of the Scout running through RED's base. While their role isn't clear, one likely theory is that they were meant to be camera positions for shots that were ultimately removed, in favour of the Scouts perspective, and Valve just forgot to remove or hide them. The second Medic even turns to look at the Scout as he runs by, maybe further proving their original purpose.

The Teaser Corkboard: While we don't have a clear idea as to what Valve had been planning with the "Teaser Corkboard", one likely theory is that it was created for the proposed update that would've included both Asteroid and Cactus Canyon, due to the few mentions of "Future", the blueprint of the rocket engine from Half Life 2 Episode 2, and Poopy Joe. Also worth noting, the two posters that were added with the corkboard share similar styles Asteroid and Cactus Canyon.

The Balls of Steel Taunt: Originally, The Love & War update was meant to include a lot more taunts than what ultimately shipped. One of the few to get scrapped is a taunt called "Balls of Steel", where the initiator would dare other players to kick them in the groin. While we don't have footage of this taunt, we do have voiceline files that reference the taunt's intention, as well as the name. The few files that remain were reused for other contexts, such as the Soldiers Conga taunt, where his "Ooh!" and "Ahh!" lines were originally his pain sounds for the taunt.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Hrmm... Revising my game and I feel like there's still sooo much writing left to do, for something that probably won't even amount to much, so.. I do want to narrow my focus more (especially given my health problems seeming to get worse/less energy the past few years), but I'm not sure how would be best to...

I currently have 5 characters as the Main ones with full planned questlines and such, with each character having 6 quests you can do for them. But I haven't really started the writing for the 5th main character. So then I was thinking, if I were going to write 6 full quests worth of content anyway... is it better to allocate that time on just doing a Complete 6 Quests for ONE single character, OR would it be better to do something like.. choose THREE side characters and do 2 quests for each of them? So that people have a wider variety to interact with and sort of sample around (of course with the idea that, once the first version of the game is released, IF people actually care about it enough to make it worth the effort, I would then add additional content to complete those 3 characters stories as well)

-

SO... If you were playing an interactive fiction sort of game centered around talking to & doing quests for a cast of characters (like there's no larger plot, more it's just about interacting with people, every character kind of has a self contained story, the focus is just learning about them and the world and exploring the area) --- Which would you rather have?

(and of course it would be stated up front which characters have only partial questlines, so people don't expect them to have full quests like the others and then get disappointed, or etc. etc.)

Basically, is it better to just focus in specifically on having one fully complete questline? Or for there to be a few stories that are not complete yet, but have more initial options available?

[ilkkawhat]

alan wake n bake sunday except i’m outta gummies rip

[avoidmint]

Hey all, just wanted to apologize for the lack of new posts since returning. I've had some pretty serious burnout lately due to health issues leaving me pretty exhausted, physically and mentally. It's taken a bit of a toll on my creative output as I've been struggling to find inspiration and energy to do much of anything.

I'm still trying to work on getting at least something here and there that I can post, but it'll probably be pretty limited for a while until we figure out what's going on. And admittedly most of the time I have spent drawing lately has been of OCs, and I don't generally post OC art. <<;

Anyways, just wanted to explain that I haven't fallen off the planet or anything yet, just having a bit of a hard time right now. Sorry for the lack of content!