#years of wanting to die and it never happened and now i dont want to ? and life is giving me this shit?

[ablobwhowrites]

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!

Also kinda thinking of the sad detective y/n idea I did and now I’m about to expose more angst I was hiding from you guys and adding more salt to your/n’s wound with this idea from @someone-named-adel and the original start of detective y/n’s angst arc started HERE so please enjoy my yapping session and also I promise I’m going to release a fic on this soon.

I imagine when y/n’s partner was killed. Y/n was the last one to leave the grave even when it was raining heavily, y/n didn’t wanna leave their side. Even at the hospital through the surgery and when they told him the news, it was like he was torn apart. Especially when it was New Year’s Day when he was to propose to them and how they talked about having a family. To find out later when y/n was trying to clean their, his apartment he found a letter that was neatly folded as he opened it was a letter that his partner wrote that told him that they were going to have their child and be able to have the family that y/n and them wanted for so long. They were going to give the letter to y/n when y/n was going to propose as well and this had y/n sob as he couldn’t save his love and now he lost their future, the life, the dream that him and his partner were planning. (In a alternative universe y/n saved his lover and was able to live a happy ever after with them and his child. I say as I'm dragged into rock myself back and forth in a corner)

And that sometimes in certain cases he has is when he sometimes has to be like a parental figure to some kids who have lost or need help to find their parents as some part in him tells him to protect the kid who needs help but he is still afraid that he'll have the kid die when he tries his hardest to protect them but that never happens. He it's just afraid of having kids and feeling that anyone who puts trust into him would get hurt or worse as even if he had no control of the situation, he'll always feel like he could have done something to help even when he couldn't have done anything to prevent this situation. Just for anyone he cares about, he wants to be safe especially having to see his lover die had given him more purpose to try help and protect more people even if it kills him.

But now to the silly and the brain rot

Also I was rewatching the justice league series and was the episode A better world and saw that they cared for our regular flash because the one in the other world died and I saw how panicked the other Batman was when he thought our world flash died so I was thinking. What if the opposite justice league also lost their y/n and basically went to take the y/n from our dc cause they are still alive. Just a little thought and also watched the Crisis on Two Earths: Crime Syndicate Earth. And thought of other world y/n who worked with that justice league from the crisis on two earths. I dont know, might to a more imaging part of it but yeah.

Detective y/n: "wow that was a great dinner. Well thanks for inviting me over but I gotta go back home now."

Bruce: "who said you were leaving?"

Y/n: "huh?"

Detective y/n seeing killer croc running straight at him like

Detective y/n: "good to be back at my job in gotham."

Romantic DC yanderes: "I want you."

Y/n: "what-"

Detective y/n: "well at least theres no more insane universes that try to harm this world.....what do you mean there's more universes?"

(bro is going to tweak when he realizes they get worse from here. But thats all today and if you'd guys like more than feel free to request more but right for now please stay healthy and drink lots of water and stay healthy guys!)

[lesshingedhiro]

real but lowkey i choose to interpret it differently its undeniable that jc had no consent in that but i think the complication of his feelings over this was less about tje consent and more about the why did you choose to keep this from me bc now he feels like he has to be grateful to wwx despite spending like . 13 years hating him and committing on the verge, if not, actual crimes in the name of his hatred. so its natural he doesnt know wtf hes meant to feel snd i think his crashing out over that is valid

that said, the golden core scene was basically inevitable to me if we wanted to ever see jc become a sect leader or even live past the age of like 20. ive written abt this somehwere else but to jiang cheng, a boy so deeply insecure over his position, his abilities, his identity as jiang cheng, heir to ymj, losing his golden core would be the equivalent of literally losing his way of life and by extension his life - he cant do anything. cant seek revenge over the loss of his core, cant become sect leader, cant even protect himself, much less wwx, jyl or anyone else he cared about. he becomes useless, and to someone who almost continuously craves validation and needs to feel like they're talented in some way to deserve their standing, which for jc was being heir and having a golden core, losing both at almost the same time renders him rightfully straight up broken. and when this happens he genuinely loses any will to live and wouldve probably just died within the next week if not given hope. jc was quite frankly refusing any and all aid and methods to sustain himself and i dont think he would've minded shrivelling and dying in that state. if wwx hadnt found some way to "restore" his golden core jc as he is during the present of mdzs just wouldn't exist lmao. the reason why wwx never told jc was as u said bc he would've said no, the reasoning doesnt matter but the point stands. wwx is the kind of very self sacrificial person who as long as he doesn't die he can stand anything for the ppl he cares abt, especially the ppl he owes a debt to. he percieves a debt he owes to jc and to the jiang family for having taken him in and raised him, so with giving the golden core he would've settled the debt he felt he owed with what was essentially his life while making sure jiang cheng would feel like there was a point to living. if there was another way to restore his core im sure wwx would've absolutely taken it, but since there wasn't he could only bet on the one thing he did have. what wwx did may not have been the most righteous thing to do but it was one of the only things he could do within those circumstances.

Jiang Cheng Rant

Jiang Cheng gives me so many feelings, mostly about how ppl tend to blame him sm for certain things. To anyone who says he should be grateful to Wei Wuxian for giving him his golden core, DNI!!! BECAUSE ITS NOT TRUE!!! Let me tell you!! If someone told you they were doing one thing to help you get a limb back, AND THEN THEY WENT AND DID SURGERY ON YOU WHILE YOU WERE ASLEEP W/O YOUR CONSENT, YOU'D BE UPSET TOO!! I'm not saying all of the actions Jiang Cheng took were okay, but any1 who argues w me about the Golden Core Transfer and about Jiang Cheng's feelings about it should fuck off TwT I DONT EVEN POST ON TUMBLR but this rant is a LONG time coming. I reposted a rant about how we 'defend antagonists and villains' when that's NOT TRUE (which, pop off man), AND I JUST WANTED TO TALK ABOUT JIANG CHENG. Yes, I know he did wrong things, THEY ALL DID, but SO DID WEI WUXIAN. He's NOT perfect! None of them are! They all did bad things, and good things! That didn't mean that Wei Wuxian should've been treated the way he did, by his friends, family, and the cultivation world as a whole, BUT that doesn't mean he didn't do bad things. He should have NEVER gotten Wen Qing to operate on Jiang Cheng w/o his consent. Wei Wuxian Did Not give him the full story, and while he got BLANKET CONSENT to help get his Golden Core back, Wei Wuxian FUCKING KNEW that if he actually asked Jiang Cheng if they could do it that he'd say NO. Asking for forgiveness instead permission is ABSOLUTELY NOT okay in some situations! ESPECIALLY! When it comes to SURGERY and other medical operations!!

Anyways, I love Jiang Cheng. I do not support his wrongs but FUCK it's not fair that he didn't get a fucking say in the Golden Core transfer because IT WAS HIS BODY.

[skunkes]

[dream-sans-mogai]

You know what? I'm not done.

The fact y'all white mogais fought tooth and nail to not have to put white in your bios or somewhere readily available was actually insane and confirms my already existing theory that some of you think once you have a certain amount of kins, f/os, irls, mental illnesses, xenogenders, orientation modifiers, alters and neopronouns, you lose white privilege and it absolutely shows that you do not lose that privilege exclusively because y'all have become pretty consistent white saviors lmao

Like y'all literally cried about it being too identifiable about you and being the same as doxxing like you weren't already sharing with everyone the exact percentages of your orientation attraction, age, state you live in, public name, like... I have to wonder hard how many of y'all participate in anti-racism activism to be an ally, actually understand why certain things are actually racist and help POC and how many of you exclusively do it to look better to other (white) activists and ease your white guilt.

Now y'all aren't even including byi/stance pages on top of a total lack of dni and wonder why radqueer beliefs are seeping in and every new term is basically transabled under a different name. I called it when I first saw this new batch pop up and I'm saying it now, they have their radqueer blogs with their radqueer content that you have blocked and they have their other blog named something like prxncxss-of-nxght or something with $50 worth of custom lazy caard graphic edits with needy streamer girl and 17 titles but no public stances for all their normal xenogender content. You didn't fight it so there they are. They ain't saying shit. Hell, no one said shit when ra/diomo/gai litterally reblogged a word for word transabled term. "Internal self" you realize that's just flowery language right? Like the creator themselves already said that it applied "to the soul and not the physical form". Please read a room. "#disability"? Are you actually fucking kidding me? No one batted an eye?

I don't think the community is dead because I don't follow a lot of big names anymore or because a lot of big names have deactivated, y'all just stopped caring and moved on despite all these beliefs you said you cared about. I don't really care, I've pretty much known from day one that a majority of the community is literally just full of shit about all these 8 paragraph basic feminism posts and vents crying about racism from fully white people.

I'm not someone to rip someone apart publicly for being what they say they are, then there's no need, but lieing about it? Damn, at least be shitty honestly.

Don't harass me, the creator of that term or ra/diom/og/ai over this. Just block and move on, I'm not having some public drama back and forth over a clearly transabled term.

[confused-spood]

Where else am I gonna rant if not to a group of random strangers that barely know me, right? So ofc I'm gonna rant here cuz these people have no idea who tf I am.

....turns out I have no words to explain how I'm feeling right now so I offer this emoji instead: 😔

[drowningincaffiene]

its 1am. that means its 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁 YEARN O'CLOCK 🥁 everyone is sleeping so i cant get up to write in my Yearn Notebook ™ so i will yap on toober 😁👍

[stargazingpsychotic]

I don't think I've had to exist so long before and now I am starting to feel something awful

[kinky-asexual]

*lays on the floor*

[jessiesjaded]

...

[pentaghast]

if im honest i like king alistair w a warden queen! theyre happy ur honor!!!

[some-french-asshole]

Everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Ya boi got a new medicine and a therapist.

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

[bibleofficial]

aesthetic pinterest board of dark academia suicide notes

[esotericbird]

im startin to think i might actually kill myself

[the-gay-prometheus]

.