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if im honest i like king alistair w a warden queen! theyre happy ur honor!!!
#ACTUALLY im taking over the wardens story now. looking for a cure to the calling? whatre u talking abt#theyre supposed to have 30 years or so!!!!! granted alistair has only been a warden for 6 months or so when he says that but#and maybe joining during a blight also speeds up the taint but actually it doesnt ive decided. theyre FINE#anyway. alistair is fine bc of the therein bloodline ig? like how fiona is cured somehow bc of it#and.... dare i say..........#They Have A Child Sir. everything's a okay#ugh but the thing w morrigan. can u imagine wanting a child but knowing its unlikely to happen while one of u has one w a woman they cant#stand and the other still feels incredibly hurt#bc of the fact the morrigan knows the whole time#and i get it!!! morrigan is young and her mother is Flemeth and this is what she's been told to do and she becomes friends w the warden#knowing this so like. i see how torn she must be#she calls her a SISTER while knowing this and i can see it must tear at her but how can you just tell them that#oh it hurts. oh its bitter#i mean the betrayal of howe and then loghain has to make morrigans seem much harsher than it really is#and i dont think of it as really a betrayal from an objective pov but in the situation its already a lot what w the landsmeet and the news#that a warden has to die#i mean its all got to hit hard. there's no way ANYONES comin out of this in a healthy headspace#alistair thinks of his son he will never meet and rhia thinks of a stepson she never wants to meet and UGH.#i think they shouldve handled the whole thing differently. like morrigan should speak to both wardens instead of one#when u speak to just the hof and they have to go to romanced alistair it seems. unfair#ANYWAY!!!! IM NORMAL ABOUT IT#wytxt
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but not everyone likes fun and games.
it was only supposed to be silly, lighthearted, something to bring a smile to your face. and how could they have known that somewhere inside you is an animal that still holds the fear of being trapped, held down, torn apart?
(could be considered a sort of side-part to the Bitter-Bones saga, that weird edgy angsty thing i did a while back that was abt Sun n Moon disliking a self insert and the self insert taking it badly lol. maybe this takes place when sun n moon are trying to be nice n make up for being huge jerks for so long lmao)
#bones of a rabbit#self insert oc#self insert#angst#edgy angsty#hurt no comfort#tw trauma#trauma symbolism#no i will not explain at this time <3#fnaf x oc#fnaf sun/moon#fnaf dca x oc#fnaf oc#daycare assistant babbit#babbitsona#oh shit its babbit#should i have put this on my angst bllog. probably#dies#shrivels up like a raisin#comic#sketches#half assed art momence#bitter bones saga#bitterbones
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Okay, I was going to explain a possible path for a worm of the string au with Sparrow complaining one day that the puppet can't leave the chamber to relive the fever of being in one place and that her thesis being rejected and then Caper reading the thesis and iterating that idea and then he somehow manages to get off the string.
But getting off the umbilical without reason or explanation is more funny!
Imagine if that starts happening to the others iterators?
Pls tell me his face is priceless! More so if it is a red lizard (do train lizard exist in your au?)
Also, how would Notos and Haboob react to Sparrow?
Now, you mentioned that when Sparrow killed the red centipede she was not in the respawning cycle. What is the age that the Ancients enter the cycle?
staring like a deer caught in headlights GSDLKMCLK this man should either have internal bleeding from a Red Liz bite or bad damage in the coconut and Yet he's 👌 how puzzling n yah! train/hurricane lizards Are real in the Serotonin Take!
as for Notos n Haboob, assuming it's in the off string post-ascension thing too:
they'd like each other! :D
and the respawn cycle is entered once the etheric body is finished growing which is around like.... 20-23 years old
#Spot says stuff#rain world#rw#oc tag#// gun //#oc: boreas' blessing#oc: three sparrows#oc: biting notos#oc: inhale in haboob#for lil added context the idea is that BB saved Sparru from the green liz actually. and then went on a tirade bout how she should go Die#oh boreas you are so sensible and know exactly what you want from people </3#post-mass ascension off string with sparrows is fun cuz. shes fuckin Alone in the whole world. n the iterators have been hurt by the-#-ancients leaving so its a whole mish mash.. on one hand boreas recognizes her as his lil sister. on the other hes too angry n bitter to-#-face that familial tie rn. yea he was glad when the ancients left cuz no more vemon injections! but everythin became so much harder#not to mention other not self-sufficient iterators are on thin ice from then on. he also doesnt want euros to see her again cuz like...#what if the poor kid will have to go through the pain of losing her to old age again thats horrible. so the worry n protectiveness is back
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It's so strange thinking about the 1 or 2 times I've been with a guy I was always servicing and stuff and never really receiving? Hard to really put into words but I feel like I was always way more into them than they were into me... The one other guy who seemed really into me was nice but... Life gets in the way...
#in a way i have grown rather bitter about that all#but idk ive only had like bad experiences on average#with my bad communication skills ruining almost all the other experiences#and its hard not to be left hurting after that#and the general idea that uh#i get rhe feeling nobody really likes me lol#oh well#i fet the enjoy the beautiful world by myself
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I want to throw up I Keep thinking about what Gege did to Gojo and GOD its so TERRIBLE
LOVE IT
#god if he was just dead I would be like#oh thats bitter#but they brought him back but its not him#It's his students becoming less and less human while trying to save everyone#and its the last thing anyone would have wanted but its also the only anwser#and it hurts so MUCH#GOD ITS SO GOOD#jjk spoilers
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...
#sometimes i feel like my brain is disintegrating in my head. coming apart like a lump of paper in a pool of water#it comes with this weird feeling of vertigo. like i turn my head and my thoughts are spinning too fast. they keep going despite my standing#still. its also a but when you start drinking something and when u stop your thoughts r hazy and ur breathing is heavy#maybe thats not a universal experience. sometimes when i stop i realize ive slipped half out of my body#and now im stumbling from day to day trying desperately to remember all the things im supposed to be managing#but there are these big holes in my brain. like im missing chunks of grey matter. the bits that would let me stop and start things#i dunno. when im taking measurements i have this image of myself on my knees holding the fragrance pieces of my life together as they#crumble thru my fingers and my insides shrivle away from the walls that contain them. i go hollow like a gord#and ppl say oh ur so passionate abt what u do. and i go brittle bc it doesnt feel like passion it feels like the symptom of an illness#i dont care. im just trying to burn the hours away. make time vanish. and for what? what am i building toward? i have an answer that i give#interviewers but i dunno i never thought id make it this far. but here we r. unhappy and lacking in purpose. its just that this last year#was so weird bc about a year ago i burned out so hard that i never recovered and it just got worse and worse. i feel now that ive stopped#the bleeding at least but the bitterness is still there. still infecting my words and curving my spine around the injury#and in theory i understand the path to healing but its hard when im just so. i dont even kno. angry? im not mad but the word feels right#but i dunno what id be angry about. maybe im just sick of empty tasks and not caring. i used to have passion and enthusiasm now i just feel#fragile and hurt. bracing for pain. and that makes me so sad. i wish i could go out into the woods and wander. just breathe#but no. instead ill start another day identical to 100 others and hope to keep my head above the surface bc im sick of swallowing sea water#anyway. itll b fine. hopefully this week i can commit to a program. hopefully. another program halfway across the country. this time#vertically. landing me still 2 time zones from home. but hopefully there i can breathe a little. maybe. hopefully. well see#unrelated
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do u ever think about how there's 8 dagoth siblings.....the number of scorpio. the number of transformation and death and rebirth. the number of the serpent. ough
or. do u think of how dagoth ur was probably formed from voryn's last dying thoughts, and that involved thoughts of their family. of keeping their family safe and away from the heart and all the wretched things it can do to a mortal's soul
do u think that's why the ash vampires (voryn's siblings) can't go near the heart in the game? bc voryn didn't want them to be corrupted. so dagoth ur channels the heart's power through themself instead (because they are already dead and there's no hope left for them) and spreads it to their siblings to keep them alive indefinitely. voryn's last self sacrificial feelings carry on through dagoth ur
and do u think that voryn's siblings serve dagoth ur as loyally as they do, despite all of them being very sane of mind and rational (while dagoth ur Isn't) in return for the love and care that voryn held for them before all of this happened? when they were all a normal, untainted, living family? do you think so too? i do
#the dagoth fam Destroys me#it hurts so much to see how bitter and angry araynys is towards the nerevarine. for what nerevar did to voryn :')#bc nerevar Did play an important role in creating dagoth ur#and its. nice to see that some of voryn's siblings hold him responsible for that#even tho theyre aware that the nerevarine isnt Really nerevar himself and that the nerevarine probably doesnt remember any of them#its interesting that some of the dagoth siblings imply that they know nerevar and that theyve met him#while others say they dont remember him at all#do u think they dont remember nerevar bc they were mere children when the war happened? and when voryn died?#do u think. thats why araynys is so bitter towards nerevar. bc they only a child when it all took place? oh im so normal about this#dagoth ur#txt
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man.
my 2022 hard pill to swallow is that sometimes being bitter is not the best result for those i care about and even though i’m angry about things, being the mature one, being the kind one though that’s Really Fucking Hard will be the best thing.
and it hurts, and it sucks, and i want to be the asshole guard dog i’ve always ever been but no one’s ever stayed in the face of my rage so i have to be kind always. and i want to be kind, don’t get me wrong, but it’s so difficult and it hurts. i would love to stew in my rage and my bitterness and my cries of ‘it’s not fair’ but i’m not given the option to be childish anymore and it SUCKS ass and dicks and this is the cruelest thing abt growing up. being kind isn’t as easy as it used to be.
#𝟶𝟶𝟶. 𝙳𝚄𝙼𝙱𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺 𝙰𝚄𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚁 ,𝙳𝚄𝙼𝙱𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺 𝙽𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙻. — ( out. )#tbd.#vent /#it... sucks this isn't like uhh oh im being cruel to ppl around me!#no i just got#into a big fight with ppl closest to me who said some very hurtful things#but. in lieu of this. bc they aren't prepared to be the mature ones#it's My Mantle to be mature and be less spiteful and it hurts#and i wish it was easier to make it stop hurting bc a big part of me just wants#things to go back to how they used to be but i'm angry and sad and bitter#and so i have to overcome that in order for things to be ok and it... sucks dude#indignation at its finest#i dont know at my core i dont think im a cruel person#i just know i can be very bitter and spiteful and these r my fatal flaws to work through#but. it's painful. idk.#hopefully when i swallow this Ugly Pill to be the 'mature one'#i can convey to those ppl that their actions also hold weight and even though i'm trying i will not be the only person#to make an effort. it's mutual and i am willing to put aside my hurt for the sake of something better to come from this#it's...... yeah. typing this out makes me feel so self righteous but i dont know#i have to scream about it somewhere i think
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i wish i was at a point of my life where my anger could be productive, where i could use it as fuel and shield alike. but im not. im tired, im at the end of my rope, im exhausted. i want this done, i want this over, i want OUT.
i hate feeling hatred. i always try to center myself in love and care, even when i'm pissed off or scared, but it's been too fucking long and im so fucking angry and i hate them for still existing near me.
i hate them for fucking me over like this. i hate them for lingering after they've done it. i hate them beyond words at this point. and i HATE that no one gives me the fucking space to be this angry
#eve.txt#'oh i dont want you to become bitter' 'oh just stop thinking abt it its almost over'#i WONT become bitter I KNOW how things work ive been hurt before i know how to try again#but LET ME BE ANGRY GODDAMN IT#negative tag#if anyones reading this yeah chapter six comes from somewhere innit#people never like you when you're angry after being hurt#people prefer you sobbing daintly in a corner being soft and demure and fucking harmless#people dont like you when youre angry. they dont like it when it makes you meaner. harsher. impatient. defensive#like the manifestations of pain they can safely categorize as pretty and inoffensive as martyrs as saintly as something to coo over#but when your response is not do be sad but to be pissed off? to be ugly? ha#good fucking luck with that
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How are people so rational and capable of not being bitter
#one person does smth that annoys me#or hurts me#and im gonna think about it for the next 4 months#and im gonna stare at the problem#i am so bitter rn#'oh but blah blah blah'#i know i know i shouldnt dwell on it#but god its just like#I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE IT#im just mad okay#jenna.txt
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i think i’ve talked about it already but i fucking hate when people misconstrue my hatred for the military as hatred for soldiers/veterans. a huge part of my hatred for the military as an institution is the way they fuck over and exploit their soldiers and then abandon their veterans. like that is 50% if not more of why i hate the military
#marzi speaks#do i agree with every soldier or veteran? of course not there’s a huge amount of them#do i want anyone to be traumatized or homeless or hurt or addicted? no!!#it makes me so bitter because when someone tells me i must hate vets they assume so many things about me#1- i must not know any veterans. this is blatantly false my own fucking father is an army vet. guess who doesn’t want me anywhere near#the goddamn military. my army vet father. he passed me down his army hat i wear it regularly. i’m not unaware of what vets go through#2- i must have no clue what i’m talking about. once again blatantly untrue#i’ve seen the stats. veterans are abandoned by the military and their communities#alienation and lack of assistance (financial or medical/mental) often leads to substance abuse#many veterans are poor due to entering the military poor. a huge part of the homeless population is veterans#oh and guess who treats the homeless and addicts like shit? THE SAME FUCKING PEOPLE WHO TELL ME TO RESPECT THE TROOPS#3- i hate america. this one is kind of true but also i am 18 so jury’s still out on my full political opinion#bc. an 18 year old does not know everything about politics. wild#ANYWAYS. i’d like to be upset at a horrible violent institution that exploits everyone it comes into contact with#from its enemies to those it ‘helps’ to those it employs#without being told i must have a burning hatred for thousands of people with lives and families#like jesus fucking christ. NOT what i was talking about. let me seethe in peace
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parent: shoves soap in my whole mouth for "talking back"*
parent: why can't u brush ur teeth n don't like things in ur mouth
*I to this day as a whole ass adult have no understanding of what the fuck I was ever punished for when I was punished for talking back. that's code for ur autistic and I don't understand you but that makes me feel bad so ur in trouble. btw this will forever impact ur ability to hold conversations :)
#i can acknowledge my grandfather abused the shit out of me and is largely why my anxiety and self hate is so bad but recognizing where my#parents mistreated me is a wound that still feels a bit too fresh but has also been festering for a while. i know everyones parents fuck#them up but yoinks. maybe one day ill recover enough to make something abt the connection between autism and trauma and how its ~different~#but this is good seeing who planted these thoughts in my head can help me challenge and replace it eventually. the problem is that they had#me bc they thought they had to and oh might as well my parents raised me to wholely respect them and used violence so ill be 20% nicer and#so i am such a good parent now :}. like i hate this bitter feeling in my heart when i think about how my mom's hurt me but i dont know if#pain from that conversation will ever be worth it. shes nothing but kind now and i can forgive. somethings do still trigger me though but#then i just feel guilt for lashing out. for talking back :\
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OCTOBER 2ND — RAPIST!SIMON. You should've known better. Walking around with an ass like that in such a skimpy, revealing dress... What were you thinking?
2024 KINKTOBER MASTERLIST. (DAY 2)
TW/CW: NON-CON.
Prey. Simon couldn't hold back on his selfish, abhorrent urges. You were a sight for sore eyes, drunkenly stumbling out of a pub all alone with no-one to shield or guard you, your tiny and skimpy dress exposing and revealing your soft, addictive body. You could feel Manchester's harsh, bitter wind against your skin, raising goosebumps on the surface. You winced with each dreadful step as you weakly wandered through the city, your vision quickly becoming impaired, worsening with the toxicity of the drinks. Therapy wasn't enough for someone as debauched and ill as Simon. He couldn't pry his watchful and predatory gaze from your weak and confused figure, the depraved voice in his rotten mind only encouraging him. Go on, Simon. This is your only opportunity...
Control, something he yearned for, desperately tried to grab a hold of. His grip was firm on your delicate anmd gentle skin, much softer than his, with scars littering his body. His hold was tight and threatening enough to leave deep, agonising marks. His sinful touch left imprints along your thighs as he pried your legs apart with the intent to violate you with his disturbing desires, with one finger pressed against your lips, slowly wiping a wandering tear away while silencing you with the sheer, brutal size. You winced and cried out, drowned out by the distant traffic noises in the far distance. The intense ache only worsened — intensified, and grew with each deep, relentless thrust. “Filthy slag. You want this. I know it.”
Despite the horrified and intoxicated pleas that dripped from your lips, your cunt only reacted to his actions despite how deranged and immoral they truly were. Simon longed, and dreamt for this moment. Now, here he was, finally taking authority over a vulnerable and drugged woman who was too hypnotised by the alcohol and its effects to defend herself. Helplessly clawing at him for survival through his ruthless attack. He stuck three thick, calloused fingers down your warm and velvety throat, earning himself a broken and mortified gag. Your tight and slick hole oozed around his thick and growing shaft, with pearly drops of your sweet, sweet ecstasy coating him. Oh, it wouldn't hurt to snap a few photographs of your misery, would it?
“You were askin’ for it. Look at the state of you, Doll.” He spat, his eyes darkening and narrowing in on you, admiring the crimson that dripped and rolled down his lengthy cock, the way he speared and prodded you with his twitching and pulsating cock. You trembled violently, with the Autumn rain kissing your cold, bruised skin, slowly washing away his sinful touch and the blood that stained your thighs.
It would be cruel to leave you all alone, bleeding uncontrollably between your filthy, dirty legs in an isolated alleyway, wouldn't it? He'll just take you home, chain you up, and keep you as his own personal meat.
#orla speaks#simon riley#simon ghost riley#cod simon riley#cod simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley smut#simon ghost riley fanfiction#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x you#call of duty ghost#call of duty ghosts#ghost mwii#ghost mw2
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Mattheo Riddle. | We Are Done
Info: Mattheo calls things off during a nasty fight where you were only expressing your concern for his safety, putting an end to your months-long complicated fling. When he inevitably gets hurt and finds himself in the hospital wing as a result of his recklessness, you pay him a little visit, eager to get your revenge.
Word count: 5k
Tags: 18+, SMUT, Toxic Behaviours, Sadism, Masochism, Intense Bloodplay, Restraint, Dom!Reader, Sub!Mattheo, Begging, PIV, Sexual Punishment, Praise Kink, Degradation Kink, Humiliation.
A/N: went all the way to the depths of hell for this one☠️
The journey from the bustling opulence of the Great Hall to the clinical confines of the hospital wing unfolded like a protracted soul-search, nearly forty minutes of introspection that could have singlehandedly redefined the word regret.
A seething turmoil churned within, its intensity drawn solely from the arid kindling of memories involving your ex fling, Mattheo Riddle. Despite the passing week of newfound solitude, the inner maelstrom showed no fucking signs of abating.
The recollection of your fleeting intimate moments swarmed you, a ceaseless loop that played out in the theater of your mind--like an unresolved holodrama with seemingly no fucking end.
His imprint stained every fragment of your life; in the solitude of the shower, mental echoes followed the course of water, little rivers reminding you of the ones tracing intricate paths down his sculpted physique. Within the shared space of the common room, the mental tableau featured his fingers engaging in an intimate ballet, leaving the taste of his lips lingering in your mouth as they ever-so-dominantly stifled your lusty sounds.
And somehow, that wasn't even the worst of it. Oh, not even close. It was during the nocturnal realm that the memories unfolded their cruelest chapters.
In the shroud of night, it transcended beyond the mere visual replay of his figure dominating yours, or the sensory exploration of his hands traversing the curves of your body. It wasn't just the recollection of his teeth sinking into your neck that lingered. No, the intricacies of your mind wove a far, far more nuanced tapestry.
Nighttime summoned forth the vivid recollection of the encompassing warmth emanating from his broad chest, the haven discovered within the embrace of his strong arms, and the fragrant allure of his messy hair, intertwining with the visceral memories of each intimate encounter. His burning gaze that had seared into your consciousness was more than a mere look; it was an indelible mark, haunting the very core of your thoughts with the echoes of shared passion.
These were the nocturnal specters that besieged you behind closed lids, engaging in an unwelcome dance as you wrestled with the elusive embrace of sleep. These very memories, like a relentless blacksmith, stoked the inferno within, leaving behind the most acrid, bitter residue on your tongue--a taste of anguish and betrayal.
The haunting question echoed through the corridors of your thoughts: why had he subjected you to this intimate claiming, an emotional prison woven with shared intensity, only to abruptly extinguish it with the cold finality of three, sad little words.
"We are done."
And thus, even after the amount of passing time, all it took was a single sideways glance exchanged between Pansy and Draco during their spirited debate over impending assignments to inspire the catalyst for your abrupt departure. With a forceful clatter, you slammed down your fork and pushed up from the table, commencing a determined march into the unknown.
Their speculative gazes undoubtedly trailed your abrupt exit, but you paid no heed. The entire school was privy to the fact that you and Mattheo were done, seemingly officially this time--terminated by a colossal spat prior to one of his ludicrous nighttime escapades in the forbidden forest. Mattheo's hospitalization, a testament to the recklessness that marked him and his band of fools, left him nursing scratches, cuts, bruises, and a sizable gash on his lower abdomen.
Pansy's calls faded into the periphery as you strode away, your indifference resonating louder than any response could convey. The world around you blurred into inconsequential background noise, drowned out by the burgeoning tangle of spite that commandeered your thoughts. Initially relegated to the forefront, this resentment had now metastasized, occupying every crevice of your headspace.
The recollection of his outburst haunted you, a violent reaction triggered by your attempt to dissuade him from venturing into the forbidden forest. Advising caution, you found yourself confronted with accusations of control and a stifling of his fucking freedom. Hurtful words cascaded from his lips during that argument, culminating before he recklessly endangered himself in the perilous forest. All the moments of vulnerability you shared with him, surrendering yourself without reservation, only to be met with his callousness when you were simply trying to safeguard him.
And as the embers of revenge blazed within, so did the deafening roar for closure. The need to settle the score and the yearning for resolution thrived in the wake of an emotional maelstrom.
‘We are done’ felt insufficient—it couldn't conclude there. You wouldn't fucking allow it.
Approaching the hospital wing doors, a surprising fortitude replaced any expectation of your confidence wilting under the imposing pressure. Strangely, a heightened anger welled within you, as though Mattheo Riddle were the sun, each step forward intensifying the scorching heat enveloping you. With a decisive gesture, you flung the door open, your breath held in suspense as your eyes canvassed the beds. Yet, he remained conspicuously absent, amplifying the frenetic flutter in your heart into an unrestrained whirlwind.
"Miss? May I help you with something?"
You pivoted sharply, eyes ablaze, as if embers sparked from your gaze. "Mr. Riddle. Mattheo. Where is he?"
The nurse swallowed, brows furrowed in confusion, but she cautiously gestured toward the hall, taking a step forward. "We moved him into a private room yesterday. His father requested it. Third door to the left."
Your eyes rolled involuntarily as you turned away, a silent commentary on the absurdity before you. Suppressing the impulse to scoff required a fucking Herculean effort--of course, his father would demand a private room for him. The bloody entitlement was as predictable as Mattheo's suffocating arrogance.
As your determined march neared its end, you found yourself standing before the designated door, caught in a tumult of fear and fury. Fingers trembled, folding in waves in a futile attempt to expel the excess energy coursing through your veins. This ritual had proved futile throughout the previous week, and it yielded no different results now. A frustrated exhale escaped through your nose as you charged through the doorway, propelled by a relentless surge of emotion.
Mattheo Riddle's vulnerability exceeded all expectations as he lay in his opulent private chamber. Shirtless, his body displayed a cruel artwork of black and blue hues, stretching beyond the healing gash on his abdomen. A chaotic tapestry of scratches adorned his shoulders, arms, neck, and the once flawless canvas of his face, now disrupted by a thin, blistering line over the bridge of his nose. A swallow lodged in your throat as you beheld him, a striking portrait of agony that rendered him almost unrecognizable.
"Why the hell are you here?" He stared at you, expression vacant. "Can't you comprehend simple instructions?"
With a cool, unwavering gaze, you shot back, "And miss the chance to witness your glorious downfall? Not a fucking chance, Riddle."
Mattheo clenched his jaw, exhaling sharply as he adjusted against the sheets. "You're insufferable."
You sneered, advancing with measured steps. "Coming from you, that's a compliment."
Advancing, you scrutinized his form, taking in the mosaic of fresh scars that adorned his skin. Arriving at the bedside, your gaze drifted downward, noting that beneath his waist, he was clad only in boxers. A scant, white sheet was the sole guardian of whatever remained of his dignity.
Mattheo's snarl reverberated in the room. "If you're here to extend your fucking pity, please, spare me."
A sharp retort escaped your lips, your eyes dancing with a hint of amusement. "Oh, I'm not offering pity...though you do present quite the pitiable fucking sight, I'll give you that."
"Then what the fuck do you want?" Mattheo's voice carried an edge, his eyes narrowing with impatience. “I told you, we are done.”
A pregnant pause filled the room as you let his question linger, a mental reel replaying the relentless week of torment he had unleashed upon you. Your gaze lingered on his tousled chocolate curls and once-enticing plush lips, forcing yourself to traverse the memories of months marked by a tumultuous dance between pain and pleasure. The realization hit like a sledgehammer--all those moments, the highs and lows, seemed to have led to an abyss of pure fucking nothingness.
A furrow etched your brow as you looked down at him. "It's unbelievable that I let myself get ensnared into feeling something for you."
"Your feelings were your own choice," he quipped, his head falling back with an air of indifference, eyes drifting to the ceiling. "Don't blame me for your poor judgment."
Your frown etched deeper lines on your face, the surge of anger unmistakable. "Regardless, you still manipulated me like a fucking puppet."
"Amusing how complaints disappeared when you were screaming for more every damn night," he retorted, lids fluttering with evident irritation. "Your anger's just a cover for the fact that you'll have to find a new playmate now...have fun chasing those highs, princess, but I promise you'll only end up disappointed."
Your jaw dropped in disbelief, gaze narrowing into a potent mix of anger and hurt. "You're a real fucking prick, you know that?"
Mattheo regarded you with eyes that seemed to hold nothing but emptiness. His silent response coaxed your hands to curl into tight fists, and your chin to tremble with the pressure of boiling blood. You hadn't come here for him to treat you like a mere specter, to act as if you were invisible, as if you were nothing--something you knew you had never been. And still weren't.
"Answer me," you hissed, your voice shaking with a blend of frustration and desperation.
He remained silent, his gaze an unyielding anchor in the stormy sea of your emotions. The void in his pupils became increasingly maddening, an inscrutable abyss that left you grappling with the uncertainty of what the fuck he was even thinking right now.
"Answer me, Riddle." Your demand sliced through the air, a fervent plea for any sign of acknowledgment.
But he remained stubbornly mute.
Your chest surged with frustration, the world momentarily blurring in your escalating anger. "Say something, damn it!"
It was only when the sting of his skin met the back of your hand, and red streaks of blood marked your knuckles, that you realized you had slapped him, reopening the scab on his cheek. Yet, that wasn't the shocking part--though it certainly played a role--what truly stunned you was the quiet, wanton moan that escaped Mattheo's lips, his lids fluttering while his body tensed against the bed. In awe, you gulped.
And then, a peculiar, wicked force stirred within, a voracious entity feeding on the months of torment he had subjected you to. Something that hungered for more.
So, succumbing to its dark allure, you withdrew your hand and unleashed another sharp, resounding slap across his cheek. Blood painted his face, and Mattheo groaned, fingers clutching at the sheets as his hips thrust into the air, his arousal blatantly revealed beneath the fabric. Spellbound, you observed as he collapsed back onto the mattress, his eyes fluttering open, holding a gaze that teetered between vulnerability and desperation.
Between the conflicted expression in his eyes and the pulsating bulge between his legs, the sinister impulse within you deepened, intertwining with a more primal sensation. One unmistakably identified as pure, unbridled lust.
"You fucking like that, don't you?" You breathed, your lips twisting into a sadistic grin.
"Are you trying to hurt me, princess?" Mattheo's intense gaze focused on you, alternating between his increasing arousal and your exasperated expressions. "You'll have to put in more fucking effort than that..."
"Hm." You hummed, grin widening. "If you insist."
You locked on to Mattheo's gaze, feeling empowered by the way his normally stoic expression was now clouded with a burning need. With a coy smile, you swung your knee onto the hospital bed, letting your skirt ride up around your hips and exposing your panties. His brown eyes lingered between your legs, and you could feel the heat of his gaze against your skin as you climbed over him, straddling his strong thighs. He tensed as his eager cock twitched beneath you, silently begging for more.
The power dynamic between you had shifted so drastically in this moment. Mattheo Riddle, famed for his cunning and ruthlessness, was now completely at your fucking mercy. It was an intoxicating feeling, knowing that you had the power to make him feel truly vulnerable.
"So weak," you spat, a wicked grin spreading across your face as you dipped your hips just enough to skim the head of his cock. The sight of his full-body convulsion was mesmerizing, and the shaky breath that left his lips told you everything you needed to know.
You could tell he was still in pain, but there was something else there too--desperation.
"Poor boy," you murmured, running your fingers down the curves of your own figure, taking pleasure in the sensation of your own heat as you slipped your hand between your thighs, caressing yourself. "This is what you want, isn't it?"
Mattheo's eyes fluttered closed, his mouth falling open in a low groan. It was clear he was entranced by the sight of you touching yourself, and the way your words dripped with sinful seduction only added to his lust.
"Yes," he gritted out through clenched teeth, his hips bucking up to meet yours. "This is what I want."
"Look at you...so fucking needy..." you clucked your tongue and chuckled, extending out your free hand and running it along the wounded flesh of his chest, digging in with a little more force than you'd intended, judging by the groan that left his lips and the blood that split through the scab. "You're such a pathetic mess, Matty...it's almost too easy to control you like this..."
"Go to hell." His jaw tightened, a vein throbbing in his temple as he recognized the truth in your words. "You don't control fuck all."
"Oh, is that right?" you snarled, leaning forward and pushing your hands into his stomach, pressing down on his wound with added force, now. His face twisted in pain, and he let out a strained grunt. "How about now?"
Your heart was thundering with adrenaline, and while you had undoubtedly expected him to be furious at you for causing him harm, as he met your gaze, you saw something else entirely. There was a desperate need in his eyes, a yearning for more of the pain and pleasure that only you could provide. His lips were parted, his breaths coming in short gasps as he struggled to contain the sensations coursing through him. Despite the pain, there was a sense of longing that tugged at your heartstrings, filling you with a powerful desire for more of this intoxicating mixture.
"More," he whispered, his voice low and husky with need, barely above a breath. "Do it again."
"Oh, I don't fucking think so..." you sneered, your cunt clenching involuntarily at his request. But you were determined to make this man suffer. To humiliate him just as bad as he'd humiliated you, time and time again. "If you want something, you’ll have to ask for it nicely…I want to hear you beg for me."
Mattheo grunted again, bucking his hips, trying to grind back despite the pain of his injuries. Finding that impossible, his hands went to your waist, gliding up and down your thighs as he attempted to move you faster along his member, craning his head forward to get a better view. You scowled and smacked him away.
"I don't recall extending an invitation for your touch," you asserted, a glacial edge to your voice. "Why would I want your hands on me? After everything you've fucking done?"
His fingers balled into fists, exhaling when his head fell back against the pillow. You could feel him aching below you, already entirely fucking anxious to get inside of you. But then, he was still, hungry eyes trained on yours as he waited for your prompt.
"That's better," you purred, and found the next words coming out before you'd even thought them. "Good boy."
Your hips moved sinuously against his, a deliberate motion that left him breathless, his fists tensing against the desire to seize hold of your flesh. The surge of power was intoxicating, a heady blend with the fervor of your overwhelming desire and simmering rage. More than ever, your yearning for him to suffer consumed you. With a wicked grin, you lifted your hand to your lips, sensually running your tongue along the length of your crimson-stained fingers, sucking off the remnants of his blood. The sharp note of copper lit up your palate, sending a delightful shiver through your being.
"Mmm...you taste so good." You met his gaze between the long licks of your digits, his taste coating your mouth. "Wanna try?"
Mattheo remained silent, his gaze tracing the movement of your tongue as he moistened his lower lip. You enveloped one of your fingers with your lips, emitting a soft hum as you sensually cleaned it, gliding it in and out with deliberate slowness. Finally, you withdrew it with a wet pop, eyes rolling in dramatic effect.
Mattheo's jaw constricted, the sinews in his forearms taut from the tension in his fists. "Please..."
But you, unfazed, dipped your fingers back into the trail of blood leaking from his gash, adorning your skin with a bold red hue before returning them to your mouth.
"Mm, not good enough, I’m afraid..." you murmured, eyes twinkling with sadistic satisfaction. "You'll have to do much better than that, big boy..."
A growl echoed in Mattheo's throat while he gripped your thighs, pushing you down onto his swollen cock. His own hips thrust up against you, seeking any friction, any pressure at all from your heat. Frowning, you slapped his hand--and to your amazement, he pulled back, averting his gaze.
"These hands of yours are growing quite fucking insolent," you observed with a sly smile. "It's high time we addressed their rude misbehaviour."
A sinister grin etched across your lips as you shifted, smoothly extracting your wand from its thigh strap. With a deft flick, you summoned restraints, securing Mattheo's wrists to the metal headboard. His lips parted, eyes smouldering with desire, pulsating beneath you as the tightness closed around his wrists. Once finished, another few flicks ensured the door was locked, and the room was cloaked in a silencing charm.
"Much better," you said, tossing your wand aside. The gleam in your eye was almost maniacal as you reveled in the exquisite agony you were causing him, feeling a sense of power and control that you had never experienced before. "How's that feel, hm? Ready to utter those pleas for me, Riddle?"
"You're going to regret this, little witch..." he spat out through gritted teeth, his gaze locked onto yours. "Nothing you could do to me is worse than the fate that awaits you when I get out of here…your days are fucking numbered."
Involuntarily, you clenched at his threat, a sly smirk playing on your lips as you dipped your fingers back into the pool of blood emanating from his wound--and with a decisive move, you seized his jaw with your free hand, thrusting your bloodied fingers past his teeth before he could voice a protest.
"Now isn't the time for your futile threats, Mattheo," you husked, tilting your head. Your fingers pushed forcefully into his throat, emphasizing your point. "Look how fucking pathetic you are...if only your friends could see you now...big tough guy, bound and gagged by his own bitch…it’s beautiful, really."
Abruptly, you withdrew your fingers, leaning back to assess your handiwork. His wrists were securely bound, a vivid red imprint gracing his skin, while his mouth shimmered with the subtle traces of his own blood. It was a tableau of perfection--humiliating yet exquisitely so. The image of him squirming against the taut restraints, his chest rising and falling with each desperate breath, compelled your hand between your legs. Sliding up your skirt, you explored through the delicate lace of your panties, skimming eagerly over your clit.
"Fuck," you murmured, glimpsing his mouth, “you look perfect like this."
This was retribution, and as you teased yourself while admiring the pathetic sight of him, thoughts buzzed with the torment he'd inflicted--the scalding intensity of his erratic behavior, the icy indifference he wielded, treating you with disdain, unfounded accusations of infidelity, and the frigid distance he maintained. The searing resentment flared as you recollected the havoc he'd wreaked upon your life.
It was months of emotional manipulation. A pattern that was impossible to acclimate to. His cycle of hot and cold, the relentless mistreatment, the baseless accusations, and the moments of aloofness, all preceding his inevitable return, pleading for your affection--this was the culmination of his deeds. More than anything, this was the reckoning he deserved.
"Come on, princess..." he muttered, eyes wide and pleading. "For Godrics sake, please...fucking please..."
A grin creeped across your lips, your heart leaping with excitement. You'd finally fucking broke him.
"There we go, Matty...that wasn't so hard, was it?" You purred, inching backwards along the length of his thighs, reaching out to pull the cover from his waist in an excruciatingly slow fashion, exposing his black briefs. "I love hearing you beg for me...you're being such a good boy..."
Mattheo's response came in the form of an exaggerated huff, and his eyes locked onto yours, silently pleading for your touch to alleviate the burning desire between his legs. Your grin expanded, reveling in the palpable tension.
"You want me to fuck you, Matty? Do you think you fucking deserve that?" You cooed as you caressed his erection through the fabric, glaring at him while he jerked and shook from your touch. It was incredible, watching him trying to thrust into your fist, whimpering, head lolling while you sped your ministrations. "Do you think you fucking deserve me?"
His groan reverberated, his body twitching beneath the firm clasp of your fingers. His lids fluttered, and his head arched back in a nearly imperceptible shake of denial.
"You never fucking deserved me, did you?" Your frustration at his silence echoed in the air as you delivered a sharp crack across his face, prompting a gasp from him. "Fucking answer me, Mattheo!"
"No!" he finally hissed, his knuckles whitening as his entire frame tensed. "Fuck! No! I didn’t…”
"That's right, you didn't…” you laughed, shaking your head. The sinful delight coursing through you at his torment was undeniable. "At least you can finally fucking admit it...a tiny step towards what might pass as progress, I suppose."
As Mattheo huffed, not daring to meet your eyes, you sighed, finally feeling as though some of your anger had dissipated. Not by much, but by enough. Granting him the smallest percentage of mercy, you wrapped your fingers around the waistband of his boxers, freeing his needy, throbbing cock--the length of his smooth heat springing back and slapping against his belly, a low groan leaving the depths of his throat as it did.
You clenched at the sight, the pool of heat in your abdomen expanding throughout your entire body now, your mouth practically watering at the mere vision of him. Just when you thought this whole thing couldn't get anymore perfect. Gods, he was undeniably fucking delicious.
"Tell me what you want, Mattheo..." you said, wrapping your fingers around his cock, slicking the bead of precum around the head, twisting your wrist as you stroked him. "Tell me what you need."
His eyelids pressed together in bliss as he panted, the rhythmic movement of his throat visible with each swallow. In the throes of pleasure, he surrendered himself to the intensity of your touch, the heat enveloping him in a cocoon of sensation.
"You..." was his only reply, head snapping back and forth, thighs tensing, cock twitching. "Please-fuck-"
"You like that?" you purred, biting your lip. "You like when I jerk your cock like this? Hm?"
Mattheo's jaw was slack with desire, his voice laced with breathy need, "yes..."
"Yeah?" You purred, tightening your grip, increasing your pace as you stroked him, leaning down slightly to spit on the tip, slicking your saliva along his shaft. "Who else could make you beg, huh? Who the fuck else can make you this fucking hard?"
"Fuck-" he choked, chest rising and falling in shallow bursts, you could tell he was close. "No one-princess-fucking no one..."
"Mhm...that's fucking right, Riddle..." smiling, you threw your head back, your other hand resuming its motion on your clit, teasing yourself as you continued stroking him. "You know you can't fucking live without this...I don't know why you have to make things so goddamn complicated..."
"Fuck," he hissed, sputtering your name, "please, fuck me, please. I fucking need you."
"Shit...you're just spoiling me now," you mewled, your pussy clenching undoubtedly at his words. "Such a good boy...so eager to please me, hm?"
Mattheo released a long, exasperated sigh as you released him, shifting yourself closer. With a swift motion, you shimmied your panties to the side before you aligned his cock with your dripping core--the moan that escaped your throat was deep and lengthy as you sank onto him, feeling every inch of his hard, aching cock stretching you wide, filling you up with ease. Mattheo's body lifted from the bed in response, a sound somewhere between a sob and a scream escaping his chest as you enveloped him to the hilt. Leaning forward, you placed your palms on his stomach, shifting your weight to the heels of your hands as you began to slide up and down his shaft.
"Fuck," you breathed, lids fluttering. "I missed this cock...shit, you feel so good..."
Mattheo's only response was a string of shameless, guttural moans, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he surrendered to the potent mix of pleasure and pain. His body writhed beneath yours, his abdominals tightening in response to your movements. You panted heavily, bouncing up and down on his cock, taking pleasure in every inch of him slamming deep into your wet, eager pussy.
With each movement, you drove Mattheo wild with desire, listening to his moans grow louder and more intense with each passing moment.
Having control was entirely different--you were able to drag him into you, squeeze him tight with your walls while you slowed your pace, slam down onto him and make him howl. You watched him struggle below you, realizing he was trapped at his peak--and you were happy about it. This. This was close to what he deserved.
"I fucking hate you," you growled, the depth of your emotion evident in every word. "You embedded yourself into every part of my life and now you want to just fucking end things? Just go back to being fucking strangers? Over nothing?" Your voice cracked, the words flowing from your lips without restraint as you continued to ride him, hips moving in an untamed rhythm. "Why do you always fucking do this to me? Fuck-why?..."
Between his deep groans, his shuddering gasps as his wrists fighting their resistance, he managed to shake his head, his noises only growing louder the harder your rode him.
"I...I'm..." the words were forced through barred teeth, his eyes pleading for mercy. "I'm fucking sorry."
"Are you mine, Mattheo?" Your voice was strained with exertion, sweat growing on your forehead. "Were you ever fucking mine? Or was it all just a big game to you?"
"No,” he stammered, almost wincing. "No!"
Unable to resist the intense sensations coursing through you any longer, you brought your fingers back to your clit, setting a frenzied pace as you massaged the stiff nub with the pads of your fingers. You could feel Mattheo pulsing inside you, could feel his overly urgent need to cum, but right now, all that mattered was your own pleasure. As you worked yourself toward climax, your breaths grew ragged, soft moans escaping your lips as your body responded to your own touch. The pressure inside of you was building with each passing moment, urgent and insistent, and you knew that you wouldn't be able to hold off for much longer.
"Say it," you panted, eyes rolling and body trembling as you slammed down on him again and again. "Tell me who you fucking belong to."
"Fuck-fuck..." he grunted, teeth bared, eyes squeezed shut in concentration. "Please, princess...you keep squeezing me like that and I'm going to fucking cum-"
"If you want to cum, you'll fucking say it, Mattheo-" you practically moaned, entire body quivering with excitement. "Fuck-say it..."
A string of whimpers slipped past Mattheo's lips, his fists balled so tight it looked almost painful. "Fuck--you! I'm yours, fuck..."
Every word leaving you was a curse, and between every word was a strangled moan, resonating through your throat as you worked your clit fasting, fucking yourself on his cock harder.
"Gods, Matty, I'm going to cum," you moaned. "I'm going to cum on this thick fucking cock-fuck..."
Without being able to hold off any longer, you shattered, your hips jerking and twitching in an erratic rhythm, free hand digging into the flesh of his chest as you clenched and pulsed around him, forcing another onslaught of pleasured whimpers to leave his throat before he too reached his high--the tight heat of your orgasm sending him over the edge, twitching and thrashing beneath you as you continued riding him through your collective highs, not beginning to slow until the aftershocks began to rumble through you.
And after you stalled, you allowed yourself a moment to regain composure before you wearily eased yourself off him, releasing a prolonged breath--with a cautious movement, you reached over and gathered a sampling of your intertwined cum on the pads of your fingers, briskly bringing them up to his lips.
"Taste what I did to you," you murmured with a smirk, relishing in his groan against your flesh. Methodically, you glided your fingers against his bottom teeth, leisurely pulling them from his mouth. "Tastes good, doesn't it?"
His breaths lingered in the air, an unspoken acknowledgment of his silence, his eyes seemingly unable to leave your form. With deliberate movements, you leaned over, deftly undoing the restraints that bound him. As you meticulously adjusted your appearance back to its usual state, a mask of calm control, your gaze shifted towards the door, a calculated glance.
"May your recovery be swift, Riddle," you uttered with a tone that held a hint of farewell. "Until next time."
#mattheosmut#mattheoriddle#mattheo smut#mattheo x y/n#marcus lopez smut#mattheo riddle smut#mattheo riddle#riddlesmut#theo riddle#riddle smut#theoriddlesmut#mattheo riddle x y/n#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo#mattheoxreader#tom riddle#mattheo x you#mattheoriddlesmut#mattriddlesmut#matt riddle
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𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐮𝐩 ❤️🔥
my ideas + observations on what lilith aspects might look like in daily life <3
Lilith-Sun Aspects: Getting noticed right away by people especially when a group setting, being liked by people on the surface level but secretly they disapprove or frown at your actions when you turn around, men judging you, standing your ground at all costs, not knowing when to back down, being a natural leader, challenging societal norms with who you are and forms of self expression, walking into a meeting or class wearing a bold outfit and peoples heads turning but not a word is uttered, getting dress-coded at work or school, your boss or teachers feeling uncomfortable to say something to you, people feeling like you are being "messy" when you question the norms, not addressing rumors. knowing you're gonn stir things up when you are walking into rooms and not caring, being told to change, being told you're too much, men wanting to date you but then wishing you would be "easy to work with" or wanting to date you and then get mad when they can't dominate you, you thinking "what don't they fucking understand? I just don't want to be like them" being afraid of your individuality not being recognized that you go to extremes at some moments
Lilith-Moon aspects: the type of people to actually answer with the truth when you ask them how they're doing and then you're kind of shook because you thought they were gonna sugarcoat and be like "I'm fine" being painfully honest or blunt, talking about feelings considered taboo (like no one really likes to talk about how they are jealous or bitter or other shit like that, they just hide it or project it) but lilith-moon will say they're feeling that shit. this reminds of the song wildflower by billie eilish. this aspect is women talking shit about you, having trauma with you, women in your life judging you or pointing fingers at you for not falling into the "good girl" category. being told you're wrong for how you feel, feeling intense or moody and other people being able to pick up on it, other people seeing you as magnetic but also unpredictable and they can admire you for being real with them but it also might scare them, mom saying you are a wild child or just too much to deal with when you get "emotional", you wanting to yell "no im not fucking okay and im not gonna sit here and pretend I am"
Lilith-Venus aspects: men want you and see being with you as a challenge, they want to be with you to show off but then get mad when they cant change you, being called a "tease" or saying that you lead people on, men lying about you, spreading rumors about you, men saying they "talked to you" or dated you after texting you LMAOOO.. just fucking lying! being villanized for your beauty, your beauty feeling like its making you a target, women seeing you as competition, women spreading rumors about your beauty (oh she probably got this and this done or oh she shes only pretty because xyz), men in relationships looking at you and thinking you are manipulating them when you're not doing anything, feeling like anything venus related (beauty, art, relationships) in your life gets distorted, your relationships always feeling like a battlefield, being sensual + in tune with your femininity and then people expect you to tone it down, you might do something like wear red lipstick or heels or a nice dress and be told its too much but someone without this energy in their chart probs wouldnt get that reaction, you wondering "what's the difference between me and her? Why do they treat her like that and me like this?"
Lilith-Mercury aspects: being blunt, hurting someones feelings without meaning to, getting criticized for whatever you say, trying to be more "polite" but then it feels so exhausting, cursing a lot, cursing from a very young age and/or in professional settings, saying what other people refuse to say for the sake of being polite or because its a "superior" this is the person that in the meeting will the supervisor "In my opinion, this isnt a good idea and it isnt helpful to us", people talking shit behind your back, the person who dissects other peoples words down to the stutter, punctuation and fucking COMMA! How did they say it? What word did they say first? lilith-mercury will read between the lines and force you to say what you are refusing to say or putting in a passive aggressive manner, might refuse to engage with passive agressive people until they say it with their chest, "could you repeat that?" energy, "what did you mean by that?" energy knowing damn well what they meant, talking about politics at the dinner table during the family reunion, talking about sex in the break room at work, playing the devils advocate, reading smut, writing smut, loving dirty talk. trying to use their words for something good but people always making them feel like everything they say is just always wrong, pausing before they strike with their tongue, hating small talk, feeling uncomfy with small talk, people trauma dumping or ovesharing or vice versa, feeling suspcious of people that use pretty words with them, they wonder "What do they want from me? They're trying to get something from me...."
Lilith-Mars aspects: the first to get to moving and get shit down, getting easily annoyed at people that dont have the same drive, being angry at weak people or people that cant keep their word, "Are you gonna help or just fucking stand there?", being seen as abrassive, people avoiding you or shrinking back because of it, men wanting to compete with you, people feeling threatened by your ambition, the type to get nice things in life and people spread rumors that you had to xyz to get it, people thinking you're being confrontational or too angry when you address something face to face and up front, feeling out of control with your anger as a kid, people trying to push your buttons to try to get a reaction of you and then acting shocked when they do, fiercely independent in their routines, working out intensely, craving intensity in relationships, lines blurring between love and war "If I'm going to be the bad guy might as well get something out of it"
Lilith-Saturn aspects: a major dislike of authoritative figures, feeling resentful at being told what to do, wanting to do the opposite of what you do, "im not following this rule just because its always been followed", setting your own standards and expectations, "I prefer to find out for myself", questioning the system or cultural and societal norms and traditions that you find antiquated or unfair, people respecting you for your disciple but wishing you were easier to boss around, other people saying you're too cold or detached but you just dont wanna give them the chance to fuck you over, finding peace in the space between order and chaos and you perfecting that mix, wondering if life would be easier if you were "softer", choosing to form your own opinions on people, "thanks but I can decide for myself", feeling like you're held to expectations other people aren't
Lilith-Pluto aspects: not afraid to talk about the ugly shit in life, the taboo, trauma, control, power struggles, fear, jealousy because youve been familiar with it before, people being a little afraid of you, people saying youre too intense or even dangerous, people projecting onto you and getting mad or "disgusted" with you when you see right through them, being able to pick up on changes in peoples mannerisms, digging deeper in conversations, people suddenly confessing things to you, people not understanding why they feel drawn to your presence, people either approach it or go in the other direction, you come across as someone who has been through a lot but its only made you stronger, "im not afraid of the dark parts of life", going through something traumatic and years later thinking about it and coming to realization that you wouldn't change a thing, that it made you who you are, being okay with being seen as the villian in someones story
#astro observations#astro notes#astrology notes#astrology observations#astrology#random astro#random astro note#rxmxa#lilith through the houses#lilith aspects#lilith astrology#random astrology
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watched graveyard of the fireflies...
#we first heard of it such a long long time ago#i only knew very briefly wat it was abt#for those who dunno its a ghibli movie abt a couple of siblings goin thru ww2 in japan#they r very young kids 14 & 4#it.. was amazin in a way dats really bitter cause works like these make me always appreciate life so much#out of 88 minutes i spent arnd 60 cryin pretty much non stop#i wudn say it was a rollercoaster but it definitely pulled at yr heartstrings with every 'oh its lookin better' scene cuttin to another#air raid#anyway it was soberin jus like any piece made abt the war#but it also made me think there rly is no winners or losers when it comes to it#everyone gets hurt by its horrors in the process#its not an easy watch watsoever.. ya can imagine wat comes with war#especially thru the eyes of children#it was horrifyin#but i think it was worth it#i rly recommend it if ya havnt seen it
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