#it was just that once it wont happen again
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sleepymothafterhours · 2 days ago
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Rough day made rougher
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Inspired by @indiewritesxoxo! (hi this is my side blog!) I love her cyberbully!sukuna series so much and i think everyone should go read all her works right now(that is your homework)
Divider Credits: @cafekitsune
Synopsis: After a rough day at work you just wanna wind down by playing your favorite game with your favorite guy, but hwat happens when he gets a little too mean and drives you over the edge :(
Warnings: mean Kuna, Bully!Sukuna, lmk if theres anything else
Word Count: 1080 Full fic under the cut, check sleepy moths after thoughts at the end for more <3
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Thirty more minutes. That's what you kept telling yourself at least. Thirty more minutes and you could get in your car and speed home, get in your pajamas(and away from this cold, wet, and stupid drive thru window). you could make hot chocolate and sit at your desk and play your game to get your mind off it.
Though playing alone is never that much fun, you wonder if Sukuna will log on tonight when he always does. After months of him helping you learn the mechanics, you could finally get through a match without him raging(very much) at you.
Your thirty years minutes of torture ended with a screaming customer, you biting back a few tears and your boss telling you could leave. You grabbed your bag leaving with a quick "Bye!" not saying much else as you walked out to your car. On your phone were a few messages, none really that important until you got to a text from Sukuna asking if you were gonna be on tonight.
The drive home was loud, your playlist from work screaming in your ears but it was nice. And as you finally pulled into your driveway you sat for a moment to collect yourself before going inside and getting ready for sleep. Your cat was in your business like she always was whenever you got home from work, but in the end after a few pats and holding her for a few minutes she let you go free. Comfy in your pajamas you could finally sit down to play, in your haze getting home you had neglected to text him back and when you got on found an invite sitting in your games almost immediately. "Eager much?" You teased when you joined, it was just you, you adjusted his volume so that you could hear him just fine when he spoke, but so he wouldn't blow your eardrums out whenever he inevitably raged at the game. You'd come to enjoy the little ritual you had, so it did sting a little whenever Sukuna responded with a sharp, "Please. Figured you'd need my help again. As usual."
You gave him a witty, "What was that about needing your help?" When you got the first few kills in your first match.
"Yeah yeah your okay. You're welcome." He grumbled into his headset. It was almost enough to get your mind off of what a shit day you had at work, at least now you could do something right. Round after round you seemed to just get worse. Just an off day you could've guessed but Sukuna's constant teasing and yelling was starting to get you. "DUDE. Fucking seriously what is this guy doing." His yelling made you flinch and you realized he was talking about you but hadn't realized it was you. "Jesus fuck dude needs to uninstall." He grumbled. "Sukuna." you snipped as your character got hit. "That was me." You said a little hurt edging into your tone. He gave you a shit excuse and moved on. Once the match ended you couldn't help how you were feeling.
"Sorry you're bad tonight." He said before the next match started.
"Jesus asshole. I know I'm the fuckin' worst. " Thoughts of work flooded your mind, and you just wanted to curl up in bed and forget it. Alt-f4. Without thinking you left the game, you'd get penalized for going afk mid round but you just couldn't handle him tonight. your phone buzzed almost immediately, bombarded by texts from him.
Kuna 💖👹: Dude? Where tf r u?
You: WiFi shut out. Prob wont get back on 2nite, its been shit lately.
Kuna💖👹: Great maybe you'll quit fuckin up my rr.
You put your phone on do not disturb right after that, your computer was on, the mouse hovering right over the delete button. You thought it was stupid to delete a game over some guy. You went to sleep shortly after logging off. You ignored Sukuna for days after that, he hardly reached out really unless it was to see if you'd be on tonight, you gave him a shit excuse every time, "working", "busy", "Don't feel good." the last one wasn't necessarily a lie, you had caught the stomach flu in your two months of silence, and you had been working a lot but not enough for this much silence. After awhile he'd started checking up on you a lot more, asking if you felt better before asking if you were down to game. You kept telling him no until he called you on the way home from work one day.
"Why haven't you been playing?" He growled into the phone. "I've been busy. Don't you have someone better to be playing with?" You said, "Dude I'm driving call me back."
"Promise you're getting on tonight." He said
"Unlike you I have a life outside this game which means homework. I can't play."
"Come on! I'm sorry okay! Whatever you're mad about 'm sorry." He said, his tone changing from that harsh one he normally used to something softer, maybe he had missed you.
"You get 30 minutes." You said before hanging up.
You gave him his 30 and he was almost pleasant, he was definitely containing himself but he was pleasant. You stayed in the call when the thirty was up, your body on autopilot after another long day.
"I am sorry ya know." He said, cutting you off after a moment.
"What?" You asked,
"What I said was mean. I might have missed playing with you. You're the only one who actually matches me." You chuckled.
"Well I had a good teacher." You said softly as you adjusted your headphones. "I should go do homework. I'll be on tomorrow 'kay?"
"Does that mean I'm forgiven." He said
You were quiet for moment, so quiet he almost thought you had left already.
"Buy the new skin bundle for me and I'll consider forgiving you." You said, it was a long shot and you fully expected him to say not before the exact amount of credits you needed was being gifted to you by one "Kingofcurses". "Holy shit. Can I have this new vandal skin to-"
"Okay brat don't fucking push it." He said hanging up on you before you could ask for anything else.
Your phone dinged as you started working.
Kuna💖👹: for the record I had that leftover and didn't want the bundle.
You: Yeah yeah love you too Kuna
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Sleepy Moths After thoughts: GAWD I LOVE CYBER BULLY SUKUNA ‼️‼️‼️
ALL MY HOMIES LOVE THE CYBER BULLY SUKUNA SERIES
Go give @indiewritesxoxo some love her series is to die for 💋🫶🏻
uhhhhh Idk what else I just had a lot of fun writing this out
also in my head they played Valorant (cus im a loser) together but I tried to keep it obscure enough so you can all imagine what game they're planning yourselves
night!
-Sleepy Moth
Pretty Please don't repost anywhere else <3
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aetherbladedstick · 2 months ago
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nardos-primetime · 9 months ago
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As much as I love leosagi we have to admit Leo's ass is not ready for any relationship and he'd fumble the bag so hard multiple times but Usagi is just stupid persistent so there's a chance they'd work it out
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skunkes · 3 months ago
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not an ask, but I saw ur post and relate a lot to it.
anticipatory grief sucks. people will tell you not to think about it, not to let it steal from today, but some days are just so hard. sometimes it feels unavoidable, like it’s some goliath mountain in the distance or even the sky and you can’t not look at it. it’s like you have to keep trying to distract yourself not to think about it, and it’s exhausting, and you’re so fucking scared of the inevitable.
like how does anyone even function? the idea of the world continuing to spin when there’s this terrible, horrible thing that will happen some day is unfathomable but it does, and it’s horrible. Some day will mark the before and the after. nobody can ever be ready for it.
I hope the love you have keeps you strong. wishing you the best.
this is literally it. i know thinking about it Now wont make the actual day it happens any easier. but it's impossible to not think about it, especially since there's no tangible way to preserve memories or feelings or the like forever. i cry easily and get emotional over most anything and everything, which is another layer of difficulty wrt it because I spiral. I want to squeeze out of my body. im not meant for any of it
#skunk mail#Anonymous#ill be in a car with my dad fighting tears thinking about how ill miss it one day and there's no way for my brain to capture the moment and#make a simulation of it. and even then that wouldnt help. ykwim#sometimes i sit in my parents room while my parents and brother are there and i cant stop thinking about when ill see them for the last tim#and how i wish i could full really truly wring every last drop of ''appreciation'' from the moment.#i think about that time isnt linear thing. how everything that has happened or will happen exists on its own#and i think about the cheye experiencing the After tragedy. and i cant handle it. not now or then. i envy the past cheye#even the one of 5 seconds ago. because that was 5 seconds ive lost. 5 seconds closer to events that will#separate my life into Before and After. over and over again#(like you said anon. i think abt that all the time too)#i think this is also why im struggling with the thought of moving out#we all have so little time. dont even get me started on the fear and grief i feel for my own life#not only fearing dying but fearing the lead up where ive lost and cried over much. just me. alone.#ill never see them again. it will never be today again. we'll never be in my parents room like today again. i cant take it.#even if i spend every last second with everybody i still wont be able to take it. i cant believe it#human beings that were all somebody's baby once. tomorrow it will be like they were never here at all. all their memories#go with them. it hurts so bad. i cant take it#i cant even breathe rn ruminating abt it *peace sign emoji*
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mirkwood · 6 months ago
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The fact that the oath "helps" melkor with his plans and affects him in a good way is just,, another way that it goes against fëanor 😭 even after death he can't have one good thing
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leblogreblog · 12 days ago
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Being a Cahir fan from the time before the show came out is so weird cause-
That's. That's litteraly a completely different character.
#each time i see cahir on screen i go 'look how they masacred my boy'#so to get out of the way the biggest differences#he wasnt anyone special in the nilfgaard or its army#hes just some son of a noble made officer that just so happened to be unknowingly responsibe for the most important mission of the war#and he didnt know ciri that long#in books he literally just 1) grabbed ciri 2) brought her out of the burning cintra 3) helped her wash up from the soot and grime#he didnt even exchange with her a single word because out of shock he straight up forgot how and when he woke up she was gone#and then he didn't see her for next five years#the fact that he even found her at all is multiple times described as one step away from a miracle#after failing to bring ciri and insulting the emperor in anger he was straight up inprisoned for few years and was supposed to be hanged#which he wasnt only because he was the only person alive that even knew how ciri looked and they needed him to find her#and then he was sent on a basically sucide mission which was equivalent of ozai sending zuko to find and capture the avatar#everyone knew it was a death sentence either from hands of the empire or people guarding the girl#also he didnt stop the scotiael on thanned#ciri killed all of them leaving cahir as the last of them#then when she tried to kill him she irreperably damaged his hand when he tried to stop her sword and then he begged her to not kill him#when asked for one reason why he reveals that he was the one to bring her out of the burning cintra and while doing so he closes his eyes#(of which ciri doesnt have any recollection besides nightmares about a black knight with wings on his helmet on horseback screaming)#((which is also one of the major plot points of this book and the next ones))#after a while of not being struck he opens his eyes and ciri is gone by then and he passes out from relief and/or the blood loss#and only by then other group of scotiael came to him#after failing once again he is literally sent back in the casket (still alive just trapped in it for convinience) to be executed#the only reason he lives on is because geralt later on accidentally finds him and then frees him#then he has lots of character building that i wont spoil anymore that is straigh up not possible with how the show went on#im just really disappointed#cahir mawr dyffryn aep ceallach#the witcher#the witcher books#the witcher netflix#also in books hes described (by geralt nonetheless) as being less than 25 years old/10 years older than ciri during 'babtism of fire'
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ryssbelle · 11 months ago
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jd is in his early 40s at least - if you’re going on the ‘he was 16 when he left’, thats not when the 20 year countdown begins (which is after the trollstice escape), there was enough time between brozone breakup and grandma getting eaten that branch went from baby to either small child or toddler, then the 20 years, and then around another year in the time gap from trolls 1-3.
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(For legal reasons this is not /srs read tags for further information)
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ableedingpromise · 6 months ago
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God I'm so fucking annoyed how come she gets to treat me however she likes and then gets to say she didn't mean it?????
#have u considered not constantly comparing me to ur abusive husband who hit u??????#since i was like 8 its really fucking weird#like who in their right mind tells their child theyre naturally destructive just like their father and then says ohhhhh but i didnt mean it#are u fucking insane#doesnt help that i look like him too everyone tells me that#and now she acts like me raising my voice once means she needs to walk on eggshells around me wtf#what about how u treated me from ages 13-16#freak#i cant believe this shes treating me like im some scary stranger as if shes not the one with full financial control and that im this horribl#person go kill yourself omgjdjsjsjwjwwhwhhw#fuck u#last year was the worst year of my life and that was wholy bc of u you showed me what place i really have in this family and that it was not#hing. how is sveryrone so ready to throw me away??#yet everyone else gets to say shes sooo proetctive and loving fuck off you wouldnt even tell them youre treating me badly diedie diediediedi#i want to cut so bad bro#but i promised myself i wont so#i mean i dont even have any way of gettibg blades so whatver#just remembered her reaction to me cutting#nothing. yeah absolutely no reaction. i thought the worat thing that could happen was her gettjbg mad at me again but no#i realised there was somwthing worse. she just straight up doesnt care#useless mother#im fine w u treating me like shit ive accepeted it that i have no place in anyone's life unlesss i hive into this but at least#at least stop trying to confront me like this#just let me rot in peace#i really dont want to do this anymore#any time now she'll ask me if i was pretending to cry so i wpuldnt have to go out w her now#as if that isnt insulting#and then she'll say i wasnt trying to be rude!!! as if she hasnt always treated me like none of my feelings r real. i only ever overeact. ok
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adreamoverlife · 4 days ago
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Good news for insane people who like q!french (me)
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spacedlexi · 2 years ago
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crying thinking about the ericson kids being like.. overly protective of clem post-amputation not because they think any less of her but because they just want to protect her the same way she protected them 😭
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orcelito · 3 months ago
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Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.
SO......
I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.
#speculation nation#IM SO NERVOUSSSSS but i need to do it. i need to. worst case scenario i fail and have to try again another day.#i was actually gonna try to schedule for a week from today but they were full up for the next 2 weeks.#so. 3 weeks! my therapist is gonna be happy for me when i tell her haha#this is. something ive been avoiding for over 10 years now. but i decided at the start of this year that This would be my year.#Year Of Unfuck My Life. and im finally doing it. im going to finally get my license.#it's so. huge actually. a similar level of Holy Shit factor as me graduating.#which seems like an uneven comparison but honestly ive just been so so so scared of this driving test#an insurmountable obstacle bc i was stuck at school away from family to help me practice etc etc#very tied up with me being stuck at school for so long actually. the neverending purgatory of being Stuck In Place.#but my cousin lives closer to me now and hes been helping me out. and i am so very grateful.#augh augh augh augh. life is so busy and it feels like everything is happening at once AAAAAAAAAAAA#but im taking it all in stride. i am. oh god i might have to just practice and then take my audition video all on the same day.#bc i am too tired to deal with it rn and i have an exam tomorrow so idk if i can practice then. also i have to clean.#i will make it work. i will make something work. for the love of fucking god i will make it work.#no time to write barely any time to relax but thats okay i am Go Go Going and trying to keep enough time to sleep#(prior few nights being the..exception lol.)#i certainly wouldnt want to live this way for too long. but just a few more months. i can do it.#next semester hopefully wont be as busy. i'll have 3 hard classes but if im lucky they wont even have much homework.#i can do it. i can get through it. i will get my license in 3 weeks (manifesting) and i will get my own car.#i will find a new apartment to live in. i will Hopefully find a job.#within a year my life is going to be much much different.#my life is Already much much different than it was just a year ago. tho this year has been more... metamorphosis.#in a year's time. i will be 28 years old. and the pieces will Finally be falling into place (hopefully!!!!!)#for now. god i need to rest. will probably go to sleep early tonight. need to be rested for my exam tomorrow.#first tho i gotta shower and feed both me and the cats. yes.
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rohirric-hunter · 2 days ago
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I gotta call my dentist office and ask a question and I'm dreading it because the receptionist is just. So mean.
#she says mean things every time i call#and she seems to be under the impression that the dentist checks to make sure i can afford a procedure before he does it#no dentist i have ever had has ever once quoted a price on a procedure that can be done in the office#this office is no exception#they just do the procedure#i find out how much it costs on my way out#and this office is no exception#so i was calling a few months ago about an emergency and i was like 'what happens if i cant afford it'#and she was like 'well then we wont do it'#and i was like 'what?'#and she was like 'we arent going to do something if you arent going to pay us'#and i was like 'no come on now. how am i gonna know whether or not i can afford it?'#and she was like 'are you suggesting youll tell us you can afford it and then not pay?'#and i was like 'excuse me?'#and she was like 'dont take that tone with me'#and then i hung up because what do you say to that????#does the dentist tell HER how much it costs?????#and last time i was there i saw some other dentist i hadnt seen before and i gotta find out how to make sure i dont see her again#i told her i couldnt floss the regular way and i have this water flosser as an alternative but i had a question about it#and all she had to say about that was 'water flossers arent very good. floss the normal way'#and then she shut down the conversation and wouldnt talk about it again#and i asked her to refill my prescription for high flouride toothpaste and theres a note in my file to order the fruit flavor and not mint#well guess what flavor i got when i went to pick it up#just a horrible thoughtless woman#i am scared to go back
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bedforddanes75 · 1 month ago
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My love for Matty wouldn’t change. Yes he made a mistake (bad one to be in fact) I’m frustrated that he can’t keep his mouth shut about topics. Glad he deleted it, and apologized not once, but multiple times in her DMS. People on TWT make me sick to my stomach.
what im saying! but also i dont get how his mistake as in azealia banks is that bad. hes fucking right for it. it definitely wasnt the right way to do it but to be one hundred percent honest i just dont care. yes she should be ignored but lmfao she should also die but neither of those things are ever gonna happen. i just hope he blocks her
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skunkes · 7 months ago
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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itsalwaysdark · 2 months ago
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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nevertoforgive · 5 months ago
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Ok this literally might just be me being chronically online/being on twt but just a psa that I don't support Per Erikkson and anytime I talk abt Dew on here I'm talking abt the character. I think I've only posted abt Per a few times but yeah he's just been fuckin weird lately and I'm not tryna associate myself with that type of shit tbh.
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