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hello-that-happened · 4 years ago

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How She-Ra, Wrong Hordak, and I Deconverted in Six Steps

Alright y'all, it's time for my fourth essay exploring how She-Ra and the Princess of Power (SPOP) used Christian themes and parallels to provide a humanist message.

My first post named 9 major messages of SPOP that contradict Christian fundamentalism.

My second gave the historical context of how our generation and Noelle's are growing up to overthrow Christian fundamentalism after it became such a powerful enemy in the U.S.

My third discussed the parallel between Horde Prime’s rage at Hordak’s self-naming and the Christian idea that everyone is an instrument of God’s will.

Now I want to discuss how Adora's and Wrong Hordak's journeys defections from the Horde parallel my story, and potentially others', of leaving Christianity. Adora and Wrong Hordak experience many of the same stages in his journey out of the Horde as many ex-Christians experience leaving Christianity.

My own experience leaving Christianity was a journey into atheism, so I will interpret Adora's and Wrong Hordak's stories through that lens. Plenty of people who left toxic/conservative Christianity behind still believe in God, in heaven, and/or in the value of Christian communities. I do not want to minimize or dismiss their experiences, and I welcome progressive Christians as allies in the fight for LGBT+ rights and social justice generally. But when I watched Adora and Wrong Hordak leave their belief in The Horde behind, I saw myself leaving Christianity behind. I want to tell my story through/alongside theirs. I hope some of you can relate, but it is okay if you cannot, regardless of your religious beliefs or lack thereof.

Deconversion in Fast-Forward

Adora, Wrong Hordak, and I escaped from the organizations that raised us and its worldview in six somewhat-distinct stages:

Multiple major characters' arcs in She-Ra begin with rethinking their loyalty to The Horde. Wrong Hordak and Adora both lose their faith in The Horde after a lifetime of indoctrination into its ideals and goals. Their journey away from The Horde mirrors many young Americans' away from Christianity, with at least one notable exception: time. Deconversion takes multiple years for most ex-Christians, but only takes a few days for Adora and Wrong Hordak. Their de-conversion basically represents a speed run of most ex-Christians'.

Full Breakdown of Each Stage

(tw: mention of depression and suicidal ideation)

Adora takes delight in pretending to beat up an imaginary princess in the show's first scene, and later calls princesses "violent instigators who don't even know how to control their powers." She believes in the ideals of The Horde, and feels excited to rise through the ranks to become Force Captain. Obedience to Horde authorities comes fairly naturally to her, and she even chides Catra for being "disrespectful."

Wrong Hordak consistently repeats his loyalty to Horde Prime throughout his first episode and beyond. Even while being attacked by his fellow clones, Wrong Hordak affirms that "We serve Horde Prime's will." Unprompted in the next episode he happily announces, "I believe in Horde Prime!"

I felt proud, as a kid in Sunday School, that I could answer more questions about the Bible than any of the other kids. My church's youth group was the most enjoyable part of my middle school years especially because I got to hang out with the guy I only recently realized I'd had a huge gay crush on. I started viewing "feeling happy" and "feeling the presence of God" as identical. I wrote in my 2011 "Faith Statement" for my church's Confirmation that "I fell in love with God," and that "I thank God that I was born into a good Christian family and was raised to honor God."

Adora is kidnapped by the Horde's enemies and taken away from her home, separated from all of the voices reassuring her that The Horde is a good organization with a just mission. Shadow Weaver is not around to give her orders or map out her future anymore, leaving her alone with her enemies and her thoughts.

Wrong Hordak's connection to the hive-mind he knew for all of his life is severed. "I am…alone?" he asks in shock, then breaks down and cries, "I am alone!" For someone who grew up living in the same mind as his entire communal "family," suddenly losing that connection to everyone he knew would be traumatizingly shocking. The best equivalent I can think of in human experience is being suddenly ripped away from your family and community and then never seeing them again.

I kept conflating happiness with my faith in God for years, even after my crush moving away drove me into suicidal ideation for a couple weeks in 2011. My mental health recovered for a year before settling into a long-term depression in 2012. Because I conflated happiness with the presence of God, my depression felt like something had taken away the presence of God.

Adora defends the organization that raised her by quoting her highest authority: "Hordak says we're doing what's best for Etheria. We're trying to make things better. More orderly." Glimmer argues against Adora's worldview by showing her (1) that princesses are just people instead of dangerous violent monsters, and (2) what The Horde has done: first the ruins of a village destroyed by The Horde, and then that the village of Thaymor which she was told to attack was peaceful, innocent, and happy.

Wrong Hordak grabs Entrapta by the hair for the crime of "trespassing," and enjoys saying, "Prime shall hear of this, and his punishment shall be merciless." But once Bow’s arrow disconnects him from the Horde’s hivemind, he is simultaneously stranded away from the people who constantly reinforced his belief in Horde Prime’s goodness and stuck with a group of people opposing Prime. For a long time, Wrong Hordak simply pretends that the Best Friend Squad™ serve Horde Prime just like everyone else he ever knew. Every line of his dialogue in “Taking Control” is a quick, snappy motto he took from Horde propaganda, like “I believe…in Horde Prime” and “True nourishment comes from the favor of Horde Prime.” [see footnote 1]

I was well aware, growing up in a progressive suburb, that plenty of my high school friends were nonreligious. After my depression sunk in, I found myself arguing about religion with a brilliant but very smug British friend who consistently refuted my arguments in ways I could not dispute. Searching for arguments to support my pre-existing beliefs, I started reading Christian apologetics, but found nothing my friends could not easily refute. [see footnote 2]

Adora sees the ruins of the site of a Horde attack while with Glimmer and Bow, and at first rejects what Glimmer tells her about what she sees to preserve her worldview: "This doesn't make any sense. The Horde would never do something like this…You don't know them like I do." But when she sees The Horde attack Thaymor, the belief system painstakingly constructed by The Horde and drilled into her over 15 (or so) years comes crashing down. At first she can rationalize away her experiences to preserve her beliefs, but when the evidence of her own senses becomes overwhelming she cannot resolve the cognitive dissonance between her belief in The Horde's goodness and her direct experience of The Horde attacking the innocent town of Thaymor. Her worldview cannot explain what she experienced.

Wrong Hordak keeps his belief in Horde Prime's all-powerful nature for a long time after joining the Best Friend Squad. However, when until the Best Friend Squad catches him in a contradiction. He tells them what he was told: that Krytis does not exist. As soon as they start questioning the contradiction he was fed, he becomes extremely uncomfortable. He maintains his denial of Krytis' existence even after they land on the planet, until he can no longer deny the evidence that Horde Prime is not all-powerful.

I grew up, like many of you, on the Internet. My depression began during the heyday of the online atheist movement—and by “heyday,” I mean “seemingly inescapable presence,” especially on YouTube where I hung out. I kept running into comments asking questions that I could not answer: Why does Christianity seem to promote belief based on internal feelings instead of observable evidence? Why would an all-loving god send anyone to hell forever? Why did I believe claims from Christian doctrine and doubt claims from every other religion? Why has Christianity seemed to cling to the past instead of embracing a progressive future? The questions overwhelmed me. I found myself terrified of my own growing doubts. Eventually, my belief was based entirely on two emotions: nostalgia for past happy experiences I associated with Christianity, and a fear of losing the vague hope those experiences gave me.

The first time that Bow and Glimmer met Adora, they immediately labeled her “Horde soldier!,” and the label stuck through the first three episodes. Adora has always identified herself primarily as a soldier serving The Horde, echoing the messages she has heard for her whole life: “Shadow Weaver said it didn't matter who I was before, that—that I was nothing before Hordak took me in.” The language of “I was nothing” reflects cult dynamics where a group tries to retain someone permanently by making them think of themself as nothing more than their worshipful loyalty to the group. Similarly, it is a common Christian belief that “without Jesus we are nothing.”

After realizing that Horde Prime fes him lies, Wrong Hordak collapsed into a sobbing mess. “Who am I if not an exalted brother of Prime?,” he bawled, still thinking that the only legitimate kind of identity is one based on fully devoted worship of an all-powerful authority. Per Entrapta, “It seem[ed] that Wrong Hordak has begun to question the meaning of life.” She later described Wrong Hordak’s breakdown as an “existential crisis,” which happens “when individuals question whether their lives have meaning, purpose, or value, and are negatively impacted by the contemplation.” Without an all-powerful father figure to value him, Wrong Hordak thought, who would?

I identified myself fundamentally as a Christian for my entire childhood and teen years. I found joy, purpose, and a sense of self in my religion. Leaving my religion behind felt like burning the bridge to who I was behind me. When I de-converted from Christianity, I felt like I was standing at the brink of a void. I thought that without finding goodness in God, I might find no goodness at all. [see footnote 3]

When Wrong Hordak finishes (digitally, but also emotionally) processing the Krytis data logs of Horde Prime leaving in defeat, he explicitly renounces his old loyalties and declares his opposition to the organization and beliefs that he used to believe in with all his heart: "Brothers! Horde Prime lied to us. He is a false ruler. We must rise up against him, and free the universe from his unjust reign!"

After Adora betrays the Horde at the Battle of Thaymor, she pledges her loyalty to Bright Moon in her battle against the Horde: "I’ve seen for myself the atrocities the Horde has committed against the people of Etheria, and I’m ready to fight to stop them. If you give me the chance, I know I can help the Rebellion turn the tide of the war."

I didn't have an explicit declaration statement like Wrong Hordak or Adora. However, on 5/5/15 I arranged a meeting with my very friendly and understanding youth pastor as a last-ditch effort to save my faith. I hoped that he would crush my worrying doubts. Instead, actually encouraged me to become agnostic and to look into non-Christian beliefs on the subject of religion. Rather than feeling terrified of what I might find and wishing that someone could indoctrinate me into my old belief system, I started on a path to discover the truth wherever it might lead me.

Footnotes for Context

Christian fundamentalists’ similarly simplistic snappy phrases have been labeled by ex-Christians as “thought-terminating clichés… brief, highly reductive, definitive-sounding phrases” where “Simple labels are attached to something you like or dislike, and they are the start and finish of all thought on the subject.” Such black-and-white “totalistic” thinking is common in Christian fundamentalism, especially how it labels complex political topics as somehow being merely a cover for “spiritual warfare” between the totally good/Godly side and the totally evil/demonic side.

Specifically, I started reading an “Intelligent Design” propaganda apologetics book by Lee Strobel called The Case For A Creator. A self-proclaimed former atheist, Strobel wrote his The Case For series using my same research strategy: Only do research using sources that already agree with you. Whereas Strobel exclusively talked to other Christian apologists, though, I at least tried talking to atheists. Anyway, I walked into school one day with a confident smile and a copy of Strobel’s book and sat down with some friends. One of them, another brilliant atheist but with a far subtler and humbler personality, noticed it and his face immediately sunk into the expression of someone exhausted by the topic as he braced himself for my bullshit. When I confidently asserted a creationist talking point trying to dismiss the findings of some old experiment, he not only knew the experiment but immediately dismantled my talking point. I had no reply. What struck me most was not just his swift rebuttal, but his weary tone: My arguments were not only bad, but so bad that he was genuinely tired of them.

Around the same time, I became obsessed with the character of Kefka from Final Fantasy 6. To me, Kefka represented what I feared most about leaving Christianity behind — that I would lose any sense of meaning, purpose, or morality in my life. ("Life… Dreams… Hope…Where do they come from? And where are they headed? Such meaningless things!") Edgy, I know, but in my mind that kind of absurdism seemed to be an inevitable result of abandoning my religious beliefs. Fortunately, I came to understand that there is plenty of meaning, purpose, beauty, and goodness outside of the particular religion that I happened to be born into.

#she-ra #spop #she-ra spoilers #spop spoilers #religion #christianity #long post #...#about me #religious meta

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cruelfeline · 4 years ago

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One of the aspects of Hordak that strikes me so significantly when compared to other characters is the unexpected, terrifying escalation of his situation.

We don’t really see this happen with anyone else: generally speaking, our other characters are very much a case of “what you see is what you get.” Adora is perhaps a bit of an exception, seeing as her status as “First Ones gun trigger” is used as a plot twist in season four, but her general background and the overall nature of her situation remain fairly consistent throughout the show.

Same with Catra. Same with Glimmer and Bow. Mermista, Perfuma, Scorpia, Frosta... everyone else receives a backstory and, barring minute elaborations, stays true to our first impressions of them. Our understanding of who they are and what they are about doesn’t really change.

Hordak is not this way.

Hordak starts off as a pretty standard, one-dimensional evil warlord character. Season one finds him very much delegated to the background, supposedly pulling the strings behind the scenes as other characters have their dramas play out center stage. He is well-designed and frightening, an imposing individual with a stoic personality and a sense of reason and logic that marks him as an effective commander.

We get no backstory at this point, and the initial impression of the character (at least for me) is “capable evil leader, little to no depth beyond what is absolutely necessary.” And that’s fine. At this point in the story, there’s no suggestion that Hordak will have any sort of role save for serving as an ultimate antagonist for our heroes, so a backstory is largely unnecessary. He appears properly built to provide powerful opposition, and that’s all we need.

This is Hordak’s starting point. It is a serviceable starting point. It is also stunningly different from his end point, and at this stage in the series, there is zero indication that there is going to be any alteration, let alone such a dramatic one.

Seasons two and three see Hordak gaining actual development. Significant development. Development that provides him with a painful, sympathetic reason for waging his war. Suddenly, Hordak is not an all-powerful, untouchable warlord. Suddenly, he is a vulnerable individual with significant physical ailments and resulting emotional trauma.

His situation has escalated.

We see now that his body is falling apart, that he is sickly and weak and dependent upon armor and bravado to maintain control over his subordinates. We see that he is not the stoic, omnipotent man presented to us in season one.

Instead, we learn that he is a manufactured clone with deep emotional wounds linked to past rejection and trauma, that he comes from a society where his illness is scorned enough to earn him rejection and what amounts to a death sentence. We come to understand that he views himself very poorly, and that a significant number of his negative character traits are rooted in shame and fear and a desperate need for validation.

we also learn that he has cute lil ears that can wiggle and droop when he’s sad

To these significant developments we add his budding friendship with Entrapta, and we find that Hordak is very much capable of desiring, forming, and maintaining a positive, affectionate relationship with someone. His character thus becomes even more complex.

Now, something to keep in mind at this point: thanks to revelations provided by his backstory, we can view Hordak as a more vulnerable individual with legitimate feelings and insecurities. That said, there is still a certain dangerous edge to him. At this point in the series, we have been told, by Hordak himself, that he was a top general in a much larger version of the Horde.

This supposed fact somewhat tempers his vulnerability. We get the sense that, while he is suffering from the shame and subsequent rejection brought on by his disability, his ultimate goal of rejoining his brother still involves a certain level of power. There is this idea that, though he wants validation and acceptance, he is also seeking to regain a position that, theoretically, grants him greater power and authority than the one he holds now. Hence why he doesn’t just settle for conquering and ruling Etheria: being lord of Etheria does not hold a candle to the power granted him by regaining his rank as Horde Prime’s top general.

One can look back at the fandom during late 2019 to fully appreciate this: fanfiction from this time period often features headcanons of particularly accomplished clones holding respected positions in Prime’s empire. High ranking clones have names and titles. They have ships. They have their own planets and their own armies. Even though they serve Prime and are, sadly, purpose-bred clones, they have power and status that provide them with a certain level of agency.

Essentially, there was the idea that a traditional Horde military structure exists, and Hordak held privilege within it.

So, while Hordak’s situation has escalated in emotional poignancy from “evil warlord wanting to rule the world” to “defective clone seeking validation,” there remains an unsympathetic aspect to it. There is still some degree of potential power-hunger that one can attribute to him.

This changes, very suddenly and traumatically, in seasons four and five. And this, friends and neighbors, is where I begin to become very emotional.

Our first indication that things are about to wildly change comes during the season four finale. We meet Horde Prime. We see how submissive and terrified Hordak is in his presence. We witness Prime’s distaste not only for the state of him and his failed conquest, but for Hordak daring to take a name.

It is Hordak’s name being a problem that plants the seeds for an upheaval of our preconceived notions regarding a clone’s function in the Galactic Horde. Those seeds germinate abruptly and violently in the next few moments as Prime lifts Hordak by the throat, declares him an abomination, and viciously violates and erases his mind.

And oh, friends and neighbors, now we know that something is wrong.

We don’t quite know the specifics yet, but we know that there is some sort of discrepancy between what Hordak told us and the truth he has lived. At no point in the narrative did Hordak say anything about names being inappropriate. At no point did he say anything that might have prepared us for the suspiciously religiously-coded language Prime is using. At no point did he say anything to suggest that there was anything wrong with what he was doing beyond trying to compensate for a physical disability.

And then, alongside all of these dark little surprises, there are the hauntingly blank stares of the clones standing besides Prime’s throne.

All of these factors instill a sense of dread that culminates in the chilling reveal of the Galactic Horde’s true nature come season five.

It is a cult. An honest-to-the-gods, played-absolutely-straight religious cult.

The Galactic Horde isn’t a traditional army, or an aggressive nation, or even a standard imperialist empire. It is a cult, with Horde Prime as its god and countless clone acolytes acting as its horrifically willing members.

We never see a top general, or any generals at all. We never see any sort of military hierarchy. We never see clones leading armies, or owning ships, or holding ranks, or commanding anyone or anything.

What we see instead is clones blindly worshiping their Brother. We see them doting on him, sacrificing their own life force to maintain his form. We see them forfeiting control of their bodies to him whenever he feels like using another’s form. We see them chanting the virtue of suffering to achieve purity. We see them blank and emotionless save for religious zealotry, a purpose-bred cohort of completely brainwashed followers. We see that there is no apparent escape from this life, for Prime sees their minds and controls every aspect of their existence, and we see that there is no desire for escape among them, so utterly indoctrinated are they.

We see Hordak reduced to one of these cowl-wearing acolytes: nameless, powerless, ready and willing to endure physical agony in order to forget his shame and relinquish his self to his Brother in the hopes of... well, certainly not of regaining some exalted military rank, or of reclaiming some previously-held status. These things do not exist. Not in this actual religious cult.

Hordak’s true situation is now fully apparent, and it is so far removed from our views of him back in previous seasons: rather than being a calculating warlord, or even a defective clone seeking to regain military glory, Hordak is a manufactured soldier-slave who was born into a religious cult, so indoctrinated and bound to his Brother that he risks his own life in order to win Prime’s love and approval.

Because that’s what this final realization confirms: Hordak was never after any sort of power or prestigious military status. They never existed. Hordak was, in the end, an abused slave trying desperately to win love from his loveless master. He truly was just after validation and affection and a feeling of secure belonging. All things that he was deprived of because he was born a slave-acolyte in a godsforsaken cult.

And that’s... that’s such a vastly different state of affairs than the one we accepted in season one. It completely rewrites our understanding of Hordak’s power, of his vulnerability, of his true wants and needs and desires. Said understanding shifts from a purely villainous one to one steeped in self-loathing and control and lifelong victimization. It is absolutely shocking to see a character’s circumstances completely transform the way Hordak’s do between the show’s beginning and its finale. It is utterly bewildering to witness this intensity of change.

As I stated at the start: this doesn’t happen to anyone else. Oh, other characters develop and grow and undergo their arcs, sure, but by and large, Catra remains a scrappy catgirl. Adora remains an orphaned heroine. Swift Wind remains a revolutionary winged steed.

Only Hordak undergoes a transformation as dramatic as shifting from “all-powerful conquering warlord” to “defective clone seeking validation... but maybe also galactic power” before finally settling, tearfully and painfully, on “shamed, love-starved cult victim.” Only his situation, his true identity and our understanding of it, escalate so shockingly and to such terrifying levels.

I’m still not over it. I still cry about it. I still feel light-headed sometimes, knowing that Hordak's circumstances revolve around being born into and abused and thrown away by an actual cult. Even though we're over two months out from SPoP's finale, it's still that emotionally powerful to me, and the shock of the difference between seasons one and five only make it more so.

#hordak #horde prime #she ra

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literaphobe · 4 years ago

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season one of she-ra rated by catradora content

the sword part 1: right off the bat we find out just what adora’s all about. she’s a so called goody two shoes but she’ll lie to authority to protect catra.... ok lesbian lmao. but then we meet catra and she’s like “hey adora ;) how’s it hanging?” and we get it. we completely get it. oh my god. everything from the way catra talks to the way she laughs. adora never stood a chance :( we get a classic locker room flirting scene where catra teases adora and adora pretends she’s above all that only to be like hey cat gf is that a MOUSE which is very rude :( don’t scare ur cat gf or she will become evil :( oh wait. anyway.... their flirting gets cut short because homophobia walks in and separates them :/ before that tho she praises adora. adora who loves her gf so much ignores shadow weaver’s praise and says “catra did so good tho <3” and puts her arm around catra which pisses off the only homophobe in etheria. adora doesn’t really want to follow shadow weaver because she just wants to be with catra, and she even argues with shadow weaver about bringing catra onto the field with her. but she loses the argument because shadow weaver fucking sucks and has no idea how to be chill :/ catra finds adora after that and greets adora the way all gals greet their pals. by... pouncing on her waist. ok lol. catra is so proud of her gf getting promoted and says baby i love you <3 baby when are we leaving <3 except adora says catra’s not allowed to come :( so cat gf gets sad and runs to the roof. in response, adora gets a literal Grappling Hook to chase after her. adora doesn’t want her gf to be sad so she steals a skiff and they go on a date <3 but they’re so obsessed with control and play fighting with each other that adora falls off the skiff and finds out she’s like. god with a sword. i mean she-ra. uh, so adora fake wakes up in a dream and is like catra? :( because catra is the only thing she ever looks for when she wakes up (yes i am clowning. of course i know catra was the only person she was with but shhhh), and then she wakes up for real and catra is straddling her waist, which... ok. catra worries about her gf maybe being brain damaged so they cut their date short and go back to the fright zone. they go to sleep, and have their nightly sleepover, which means they sleep in the same bed :) even tho catra’s own bed is already on top of adora’s :) superb :) anyway adora dreams about her lesbian sword and wakes up scared. she smiles when she sees catra sleeping soundly in her bed however because uwu cat gf go zzzzz. adora gets out of bed which catra IMMEDIATELY senses because she opens her eyes right after and follows adora. because uh.... their friendship is just that lit and strong. catra is worried and wants to follow her gf to find this cool lesbian sword she keeps talking about, but adora makes perhaps one of the worst calls ever and tells catra to stay behind because she doesn’t want to get catra in trouble :( which is like, she has good intentions and all, but you should always bring your gymnast cat gf along when u look for sick ass gay swords. adora would know that if she wasn’t raised by the literal embodiment of gay oppression. oh well. guess they’re gonna have to fight each other for five seasons to figure it out. 9.5/10 because we got so much content all literally in the first ep. it’s like hey look they’re in love and they’re girlfriends who touch each other way too much. and we’re like noelle that’s really cool! will we get more gf content? and noelle said yes but also you’ve got a big storm coming! and it’s going to kill you!

the sword part 2: against adora’s wishes, catra gets in trouble for adora’s departure, and this makes catra sad bc where did her gf go? :( shadow weaver accuses catra of knowing where adora is because despite her raging homophobia she still knows that adora wouldn’t go anywhere without telling catra. and she’s right but just because she’s right doesn’t mean i have to like her. anyway... catra gets sent to bring adora back to the fright zone, and even tho shadow weaver threatens her in scary horrid ways catra is only happy to see adora again and once again pins her to the ground with her knees on adora’s.... yea........ and she’s happy bc she has a tank :) good for u catra we all love and cherish you <3333 anyway catra makes fun of adora because she thought adora got captured which... technically true but also not but also! catra sees a flower in adora’s hair which she takes to mean that adora cheated on her :( wtf :( and adora says no baby :( no i didn’t cheat on u :( and catra is like. ok fine. let’s go back to the horde. and adora says baby we can’t go back to the horde :( did u know that they were evil? im woke now. come be woke with me. and catra is like. wait. u just realized the horde sucks? did you not see shadow weaver electrocute me. did you think she did that for gay rights? and adora is like catra baby i didn’t mean it like that :( but it’s too late. it’s all very upsetting and i don’t wanna get into it. essentially catra thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse by fighting the horde from within but adora thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse and the horde’s evil by literally escaping the horde. u can see where both of them are coming from and that’s why it’s so sad :( it’s so fucking sad y’all :( they do their whole. come with me vs stay with me thing,,, and it doesn’t work out. duh it’s like ep 2 why would it work out. catra finds out that adora can use her lesbian sword to turn into a taller lesbian and instead of giving into her gayness and marrying adora right away her internalized homophobia makes her run away :( she thought adora doesn’t care about her anymore because she has new friends and can turn into a giant sword lady :( and it’s all very sad :( 8.5/10

razz: adora’s having trouble turning into she-ra. no one asked, but based on this whole show, it’s because she just broke up with catra and that hit hard :( it’s pretty hard to turn into ur superhero alter ego when you’re yearning. back at the horde, catra is also yearning. she is bitter because everyone is raving about how lit she-ra is and catra is like yeah she-ra is sexy but can we have a discussion about how she-ra breaks your heart. how she-ra makes you cry. how she-ra abandons you for new friends and doesn’t want to be your gf anymore? have we considered that? and everyone is confused because why does catra seem like she knows she-ra so well. didn’t you just meet her catra? and even tho catra is a bitter ex who’s angry and wants revenge she’s still like. in love with adora and wants to protect her. so she acts cool and doesn’t tell anyone that adora is she-ra. even tho lonnie tells catra not to be so feral because “adora’s not here to protect you anymore” catra still wants to protect adora. okay. yes the thought of that does make me wanna cry. what about it. catra goes and lies on their shared adora’s bed. and she sees the teeny drawing of catra and adora on the bed frame. it reminds catra of the break up and she scratches adora’s picture. she regrets it like instantly and starts destroying the bed. and she cries. she like cries real tears what the FUCK. and then SHADOW WEAVER WALKS IN?? rude much?? can’t a girl get some privacy as she mourns a break up with a girl she’s been in love with her whole life but technically never dated for real? 9/10

flowers for she-ra: adora realizes that it’s a pretty bad idea to break up with your girlfriend when you spent your whole life sleeping in the same room/same bed as her and she comes to the Very Shocking realization that she gasp! cannot sleep without catra! wow who would have thought! so she immediately goes on a search for a sleeping partner rebound... who is glimmer (sorry glimmer it’s her first time not having her gf) and she even sleeps at glimmer’s feet the way we saw catra sleep at adora’s feet. really makes you wonder if catra and adora take turns doing that? sleeping at each other’s feet because their internalized homophobia (thanks a lot shadow bitch) prevented them from going a step further and sleeping in each other’s arms... oh well. meanwhile, catra is gloating about being force captain, but she’s also Still protecting adora’s identity as she-ra. and apparently, drawing pictures of she-ra? that she hid from shadow weaver? is that what happened? i can’t tell if she drew that picture or not but the way it looks from the scene she Definitely drew that picture! hello????? anyway, catra’s still crying to anyone that has ears about how her gf dumped her, when really it was kind of a mutual break up that was entirely shadow weaver’s fault even tho she wasn’t there. sigh. i’m bringing this up to a 7/10 because of “it’s just a phase! she’s confused, i’ll bring her back, i swear :(“

the sea gate: “i’ve got something more important to do” and here we see the start of catra literally abandoning all other duties because she would rather go flirt with her enemy gf... she literally hopped onto she-ra’s sword.... she insult her gf....... she brag to her gf about achievement.... but she also want her gf back :( adora refuses to go back to the land of oppression tho so they get into a. really suggestive fight. and catra always makes adora leaving the horde out to be adora leaving her.... she’s like babe i am literally so sexy. why would you dump me :( i’m hot :( and she’s right but i hate them. can y’all just like. not be so gay? :/ it’s starting to make me a lil bit homophobic tbh! and catra whispers into adora’s ear but it’s kind of like an insult so she gets water slapped and is forced to stop flirting :( boooo 8.5/10

system failure: hm. catra wasn’t in this ep? damn :( it’s a great ep but it’s pretty hard to find any catradora if adora is delirious the whole time and catra isn’t there. but! drunk/high adora existing gives us an idea of what she would be like around catra. 1/10 for the potential

in the shadows of mystacor: catra’s face when she sees adora in shadow weaver’s spy cam thing... interesting. she also acts like she’s So Sick of the adora missions which is true but also she is lying. kind of annoying that shadow weaver would be like. homophobic. but when she’s messing with adora’s head in mystacor she uses catra’s voice and laugh to achieve maximum effect :/ which like. thanks? but catra wasn’t actually there so shadow weaver really full on gaybaited adora huh :/ adora eventually defeats shadow weaver and we finally see catra again uwu she ends up plotting to kidnap bow and glimmer but the line “if you want to take down adora, you have to go for the heart” is so interesting because we eventually find out just how much of adora’s heart is filled with catra... 4/10 on its own 6/10 if you let the heart comment ruin your life!

princess prom: ARE Y’ALL READY TO PARTY oh my god,,, this is it you guys. this is THE ep. so funny of adora to be like. i have so many plans for every single thing that might happen. i am GOING to spend the party getting princess frosta to join the rebellion. and then catra shows up and adora is like nvm. what if i followed catra wherever she went instead. which is very interesting! adora, sweet baby, why do you always assign yourself to fight/follow/chase catra? when according to her in future eps is actually a bad decision which we can infer from her saying stuff like catra knows my every move she will be able to take me down,, ok then stop hogging her all the time?? anyway. let’s get into things chronologically. “how dare those princesses pretend they’re better than you? just because you’re different? how dare they abandon people just because they don’t fit in with their perfect little lives? how DARE they take best friends and turn them into giant sword ladies who run off with people clearly inferior to you?!” catra.... u got sth to say there buddy? :/ u got something u wanna get off your chest? :/ u had us in the beginning but then you started to get really specific :/ what’s that about sweetie :/ catra’s coping mechanism for this is to put on a really hot suit and going to princess prom to seduce the shit outta adora? fucking genius. yes she also kidnapped two people but let’s focus on the ingenuity of catra’s plan to make adora hot and heavy and also somehow jealous the entire time. incredible. so, catra shows up at the prom with scorpia and adora immediately starts bickering with her about rules. she fails to get catra kicked out so she resolves to stalk her instead! and catra... oh catra... she puts on a whole show..... performing everything from popping a tiny cake into her mouth to circling around a pillar seductively and dropping a note into a bin that says hi adora >:3 with a drawing of catra’s face that she worked hard on!! and adora looks like a crazy stalker ex gf and everyone is like damn.... u ok? :/ but adora doesn’t have time to care too much aside from a little “haha i swear i’m not a weirdo!” look because her mind is just screaming CATRA CATRA CATRA and she finds catra creeping up to entrapta. but ofc catra’s not trying to push entrapta off the ledge! no! she’s using entrapta to make adora jealous :3 catra pulls entrapta close and says “she stole my food and then asked me to spy on people with her. is this what love feels like?” and it WORKS and adora has to pull entrapta aside and be all hey i know we’re not super close yet but the bro code kinda states that u don’t date ur friend’s ex :/ so could you please back off? and entrapta is like say what now? ur gf just ditched btw so adora goes running after catra again and surprise surprise! it’s time to dance! and there are romantic lights and music! and uh oh! everyone else has a partner except for catra! guess this means adora’s gotta dance with her ohhhhh noooooooo :/ “i don’t know about you.... but i am having a blast” i really don’t think catra was lying!! i am on the verge of passing out!! adora moving away from catra after saying “whatever it is you’re planning, it won’t work!” and catra, many dance partners later, slamming back into adora’s body to continue their conversation with “maybe my plan won’t work, but then again...” THE DIP!!!!!!! “maybe it already has...” oh my god you guys. what the fuck. like they get into an angry shove fight after this but the tension! the tension! and then adora LIFTS catra up in the air? real close? they get ice blocked by frosta after this, more specifically she traps adora because she shoved catra first djfjdjdjdjd,,, after telling glimmer to find bow catra grazes adora’s chin with her tail to remind her that she’s still here!! don’t neglect!! and catra says the iconic “it was fun distracting you though ;)” line that adora was clearly affected by because she memorizes it and says it back to catra..... years later. i CANNOT make any of this shit up. what the fuck y’all. the fact that these evaluations are so long bother me but i HAVE to call these hoes out!! moving on, adora runs after catra in a very dramatic chase/fight scene, and adora is very amped up on uh, hormones. she catches catra at a “dead end” and goes “hah! trapped >:)” which is such a stupid thing to say to ur cat gf who can jump very high, so catra says “you wish ;)” and it is just. everything they are saying sounds very suggestive okay why are they LIKE THIS anyway catra jumps up some floating ice and adora follows her up the floating ice because she’s gay and she will jump however much is required of her to chase her gf down ok!! and so adora and catra are now on some ice cliff where adora keeps lunging and they’re also kind of like dancing? and catra is being very ~smooth~ dodging all of adora’s strikes and hitting her in one move. that’s kind of cool but also don’t bully your gf :( come on catra :( not cool :( but adora doesn’t give up and they continue fighting, until one missed move from catra nearly sends her off the cliff. but adora thinks she’s hot and she’s in love with her so she’s like nooo catra don’t fall off this cliff ur so sexy aha and catches her by. the waist. not the hand! but by the waist. any normal person would’ve gone for the hand. factually speaking, catra’s hand is easier to reach than her waist. but adora’s a hoe. so, she grabs catra by the waist and pulls her in closer by grabbing! oh you guessed it! her chest! like she grabs her shirt but it’s the part of the shirt that was at the chest. what the fuck. they both get this look in their eye that makes it seem like they want to kiss each other???? hello????????? and like. very upsettingly we now know that they’ve always wanted to kiss each other so. that knowledge makes watching this scene even worse. they shouldn’t have become enemies if they were going to be this horny. they’re so distracted by each other’s lips that they forget they’re standing at the edge of a cliff and guess what! they fall off the cliff! what a twist! but adora is like i’m NOT going to die because i was distracted by catra’s lips, so she grabs her hair stick thing and stabs it into the ice cliff. she grabs catra by the hand to save her, not the waist this time, because holding catra’s hand is also gay so she might as well do it. too bad catra lets go of her hand and ditches her tho :( i would minus points for that except it wouldn’t make much of a difference. catra says “see you later, princess ;)” because she’s already expecting to see adora again.... good lord 4828473737373/10 thanks noelle! i died

no princess left behind: but i’m a buddhist so i’m back. we open with catra laughing so prettily looking at her gf’s lesbian sword. very cute. later on, when shadow weaver betrays catra and tells her to go pack her things because she’s not needed anymore... adora gives her this look? :( she looks like she feels bad because catra’s clearly still suffering under shadow weaver’s thumb. but let’s zero in on the most important part! catra dragging the sword and pointing it at adora, before turning it around and giving it to her. “this is NOT because i like you” ok catra i didn’t think that before but now i Absolutely believe that you did this because you like adora. and u can tell adora kind of is like. ready to start her whole “you can come with me! we can be together! :(“ thing but things are complicated and catra told her to Just Go so... it is a lot and we know things are deeper than just catra liking adora but we will get emo over that later. 9/10 that was a good fucking scene

the beacon: “she left me behind too, like i was nothing :(“ some people say this is catra manipulating entrapta, and they are correct, but also she’s like.. “oh adora left you too? mad kin :(“ she was deadass about to start a support group with entrapta and technically she kind of did! good for them <3 catra goes to look for first ones tech and adora goes to look for the beacon to learn how to heal and guess what happens! they’re looking for the same place! catra’s “on second thought... hey adora >;)” at the end pushes this up to an 8/10, but that’s just like the last five seconds of the ep so objectively the rest of the ep was like. 4/10 idk lmaoooo

promise: finally some good fucking food. catra follows adora into the beacon and has a little fun spying on her and enjoying her epic fails at getting information on she-ra. she also finds the first one tech she needs, because she’s a multitasker and she can spy on her gf while doing important missions <3 but also she gets caught and adora nearly kills her fksjdjd “hey watch it! >:(“ is so funny because catra??? u are trespassing???? but also uwu baby yeah don’t accidentally kill ur gf adora :( adora’s reaction is also very funny “catra? what are you doing here? :O” as if catra hasn’t shown up at 70% of the places adora has been, but the way she asks it’s like. adora is happy to see catra? pleasantly surprised? man she is whipped. anyway, adora tries to pull the Tough Girlfriend move and like, mildly scold catra for trespassing into a building where only one person (she-ra) is allowed to be in. but she still grabs catra’s hand and guides her to an escape path :’) she lifts up a giant door thing and waits until catra runs in to let go and run after her <3 chivalry isn’t dead after all <3 they get into a lover’s tiff as they run for their lives and essentially it’s like “babe wtf WHY are giant mutant spiders trying to kill us isn’t this ur house” “they’re trying to kill YOU this is why you ring the doorbell instead of running in secretly after i open the door!” “oh and how was i supposed to know that! why can’t you just tell your teenage mutant ninja spiders to chill out??” “they’re not house-trained babe :( i moved in two minutes ago they came with the apartment” anyway the angry spider monsters catch up to them so catra goes “adora? :(“ and that’s enough for adora to take Direct Action so she slashes the walls and ceiling of the room they’re in before grabbing catra to shield them both. she is NOT getting her deposit back but uwu anything to keep gf safe <3 adora transforms back to her usual body and she once again reminds catra that she’s Not Supposed To Be Here and she’s like “god now i have to like Protect You and it’s gonna put my life in danger :/ haha what are you gonna do for me in return tho ;)” and catra is like. “well good thing i didn’t ASK you to protect me” so adora is like :( —> >:( wait u know what??? ok u know what????? why are u here >:( how’d u find me?? >:( and do u mean any of this in a gay way?? >:( say it’s in a gay way right now >:( and catra is like. ur gay castle sent a gay beam of light into the sky. i saw it immediately bc im gay but i do NOT mean this in a gay way. and adora is like oh :( ok :’( and then asks about shadow weaver bc she saw what went down in the horde and she like. i think she can tell shadow weaver still exerts some form of control that catra hasn’t broken free from? :( and then catra is like haha shadow weaver is a LOSER and adora starts giving her Gay Looks and it makes catra scared because her gf now thinks she has a crush on her!!!!!!! how Embarrassing!! “ugh, i knew you’d be weird about me letting you escape” ok so why did you say that thing about not liking her? “i told you it’s not because i like you!” there it is! that’s EXACTLY what i thought you’d say you lesbian! and the way she says it??? she definitely likes adora???? she is so bad at lying?????? and adora is so smug about it like her Face plus her crossed arms and the whole “i mean, i didn’t ;) i didn’t say anything ;)” her eyes.... your honor she’s gay...... she’s like what if we were in my secret castle..... standing amongst the rubble because i destroyed the infrastructure to protect you..... and we were both girls....... adora was Ready to turn her sword into a Bed right then and there ok!!! it’s not me it’s Her Eyes,,, anyway catra starts being salty again and brings up bow and glimmer and is like hey where’s those idiots u dumped me for :/ thought you looooooved hanging out with them and doing everything with them :/ like we used to :/ are they not as fun to hang out with adora is that why you’re standing in this spider infested building with me instead :/ and adora suddenly remembers that she can’t just be horny and that she has to hold catra accountable for her actions so she’s like oh my friends? the ones who u kidnapped and held for ransom???? >:( and catra is like ya what other friends would i be talking about :/ like god i know she’s evil but she’s so funny take her back adora :( jk ik ur gonna start begging her to Come With You in like minutes u absolute simp. but before that happened catra was like fuck u lets Split Up >:( we already broke up why would we run away from spiders together huh? unless u still like me? but clearly there’s only one way for them to walk so they can’t split up just yet and adora gives catra this >:( look so catra is like FINE one last date and they walk away together. they go into this... dark room and catra wants to leave the dark room because she’s scared of ghosts :( jk but the door disappears and something scans catra and adora and light hope is like cool! time to show them memories that are specifically picked to make catra resent adora! which :( not cool light hope :( i get that ur a bot who’s programmed to serve the homophobic agenda but damn u were gay once too :( anyway they’re sent to a memory in the fright zone and adora gets Angry bc she thinks catra tricked her and catra is like i wouldn’t play u like that :( and she finds out it’s all fake so she’s like adora :D u don’t have to be scared or mad at me anymore! :D she goes to look for adora but adora’s watching a memory of them when they were six and being really cute. back when adora had the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair and only really cared about making catra happy and having her back. catra blinded octavia and insulted her and adora was still like: ur not bleeding ur bones aren’t broken and u picked a pointless fight with someone who did not provoke you in any way. where is she i will insult her some more. i love u. like damn adora really do be a ride or die girl huh!! she’s still like this but they both have too many issues to realize it :( anyway catra and adora slip into the catra and adora of their memories and begin running off together holding hands............ and then they Realize they’re running off together Holding Hands....... and catra pulls away because of her internalized homophobia :( devastating. they get into a tiny little fight over magic and kidnapping again and then adora’s face softens and she’s like catra :( why Did you let me escape :( i know i made fun of u for it before but i legit do not know if u meant it in a gay way. pls confirm? :( u could have gotten caught catra :( why did u risk it :( is it because you secretly want to run away with me and join the rebellion? :( and be my gf? :( she’s so caught up in her questions that she nearly falls off a cliff AGAIN and catra catches her by the hand because these girls are obsessed with almost falling off cliffs to their deaths and saving each other. don’t judge them their Intricate Rituals are THAT deep. and catra is like. did you really think. i would let shadow weaver erase your memory like that? and risk you forgetting our relationship? even towards the end when we were broken up and fighting each other it was kinda lit and i want u to remember it. and adora is an idiot so she’s like idk lmao probably aren’t u like evil now and catra is like well you have a point but also fuck u for thinking i don’t care about u,,, u never did have too much faith in me :( and adora is like can u blame me :( and catra is like ur hot so.... no. i will let my tail linger on your hand as a hint that i still love you. and then catra is like.... adora i know u said fuck horde rights but does that include our relationship :( u had good memories right :( of me? :( and adora is like um duh??? i miss you so goddamn much too oh my god and catra is like hey how dare you imply that i missed you even tho it’s true!!! get over urself! and adora is like not until you admit you like me ;) and they play fight again because the rituals are so intricate..... and catra lies and says she doesn’t like adora ok lmao... they enter the next memory and it’s catra and adora sparring and they’re competitive but it’s also flirty? catra pretends to be hurt to get adora to let her guard down but lonnie interferes and this causes adora to beat catra. which. yeah :( and after adora wins she does the good gf thing where she asks catra if she’s okay and catra’s not ok but she lies and hides away to cry :( and we get it babe we do!! it’s hard being in love with someone who you’re also resentful of because you’re raised in a competitive environment and always treated like you’re worthless in comparison :( but the simulation stops and catra is caught by one of the spiders and adora doesn’t manage to save her in time, grabbing her hand only to fail and have catra slip through her fingers :( they scream for each other but catra manages to get the upper hand on the spider monster, except adora charges in at the last second and delivers the final blow, further driving home the false point that light hope is trying to make :( adora just wants to protect catra but because of their upbringing catra sees it as adora always wanting to be the best and adora thinking she’s better than catra hence her telling catra what to do “all the time” which isn’t totally true but it’s what catra has been led to believe :( and also adora’s upbringing plays into it too because she thinks she has to save everyone and take responsibility for everything and it’s all just really sad bros :( what the fuck :( adora apologizes for leaving again and tries to convince catra she never meant to leave her and that she wants catra to come with her because she knows catra isn’t a bad person :( and you can see!! catra considering it!! but then precisely BECAUSE catra is considering it the memory simulation thing kicks in again and... hoo boy. we see catra and adora sneak into the black garnet chamber, after being cute and competitive and running around the horde swinging from wire to wire.... they get caught by shadow weaver and she specifically punishes only catra. and it’s so fucked because it puts adora in this position of guilt where she always feels like she has to protect adora whilst slowly brainwashing her over the years into believing that catra does do disobedient things and that adora can only escape that if she’s always perfect and taking charge of everything. and for catra.... it takes the mutually loving relationship they have and poisons it because shadow weaver makes it very clear that to her, catra’s only redeeming quality is that adora favors her? and if not for that she would be disposed of? and so it’s very hard for catra to find individuality and a healthy connection to adora which created unresolved resentment and issues and just... :( and the whole confrontation they have after the simulation ends... adora could never protect catra in the way she needed to be protected because adora was also a child, and receiving a different form of abuse, and it’s just. harder for catra to leave? especially because she didn’t receive a sudden destiny the way adora did and her issues with the horde were never limited to morality. and so catra is just. she has way too much to work through and she can’t see past her resentment for adora because the machine is making her remember all of it. and so she tells a half truth and half lie to adora about giving her the sword because she didn’t want adora to come back :( catra runs away from adora and is attacked by flashes of memory. and then she faces one last memory alone. and it’s the promise adora made to catra when they were kids, about always looking out for each other, and catra looks at kid!catra and thinks adora has broken that promise, still stinging from the hurt of adora leaving her behind after finding the sword and becoming she-ra. it was never meant to be like this but catra is hurting so she focuses only on her side of things and how she saw these events play out and she :( decides to kind of betray adora? it hurts So Much because adora looks so hopeful when she sees catra while hanging on for dear life, and she thinks catra will save her again but catra talks about how the sword won’t work for her because she’s never been the Special One like adora was always heralded to be in the horde. and having adora literally be she-ra just drives that point home for catra and she hates adora for it because this means all the other stuff she believes is true too. adora made her feel weak on purpose, adora made catra think she needed her on purpose. “every hero needs a sidekick, right?” and adora’s “catra, no, that’s not how it was!” hits even harder now because we know that adora just. loved catra. she was in love with her but adora was also like catra in that she’s a product of her circumstances and upbringing. she was the way she is as a means of survival. but the one thing there that was pure and true was that they loved each other.... upsettingly neither of them can see that. catra goes down even further into the path of evil and thinks that. being free of adora. is the thing that will liberate her and bring her happiness. which. she is wrong about. but she can’t exactly see all that clearly right now :( and adora begging catra not to “do this” which... means she’s begging her not to leave? “bye adora! i really am going to miss you” and adora’s desperation skyrockets but it’s too late :( catra doesn’t come back for her and adora cries.... and it’s just so insane that literally everyone who wants to control adora focuses on poisoning her bond with catra because that’s the relationship that... matters most to her in the world. when you’ve loved someone your whole life it hurts when they betray you and it hurts to betray them too, as we can see from catra when she arrives back at the horde. she essentially looks Wrecked and freezes up when scorpia calls her “the best friend ever!” but i want to make one quick note of her “personal space” talk with scorpia? like fjdjdjdjd you have never had personal space with adora not once in your life ok that’s reserved for the gf only i see. 10/10 i am so wrecked emotionally this is way too much but also because it makes me so emo i will give it a perfect score but nothing else. no bonus points because i do not want to reward putting me in pain!

light hope: light hope showing adora the memories that make her feel guilty and it’s the first scene where catra sees her as she-ra and walks away.... adora’s been feeling guilty over catra since the moment she failed at getting catra to leave the horde :( 3/10

the battle of bright moon: “catra will be leading the horde when they attack. i have to face her.” it’s so interesting how there’s so many pressing things at hand? the weather is screwy, the alliance is broken, no one’s coming to save them, the rebellion could be crushed, but the thing that is really bothering adora, the thing that she brings up first, is catra. “i saw catra in there. i thought i could get through to her, but all i did was push her farther to the side of evil” she sounds... so heartbroken about it all :( catra and adora meet on the battlefield and the first thing catra says is,,, u guessed it,,,, “hey adora.” and adora’s like “catra. surprised to see me?” and like damn they’re really so good at being enemies. the talent. the tension. impeccable. and then catra says nah i didn’t think u died and im glad u made it out alive. and adora, bless her soul, is like oh.... u mean in a gay way..... u didn’t want me to die..... for homosexual reasons?? and catra is like no! haha! i uh, i just wanted to kill u in a cooler much sexier way. and adora is like oh :( oh >:( oh >:’( and they get into a very heated sexy fight like catra wanted. and they taunt each other like. “i thOUgHt yOU weRe suPposED tO bE stRoNG” “aND i tHouGHt yOu wERe sUpPOsEd tO bE fAst” you know. very cool well crafted taunts. and like. they fight a lot which is kind of sad but also kind of sexy because their styles are like? similar and different? which is the dumbest way to compare any two things ever but like :( y’all get what i mean right :( we get one more Hanging Off A Cliff scene and this time adora grabs catra by the chest and shoves her against the wall, and catra is like cool! but u did this,, for what? and then adora realizes catra was just distracting her Again and bright moon is very badly under attack :( catra bids her adieu so adora can run back and fight. but she like. gets caught :( and catra walks up to her and gently caresses her cheek before adora passes out and it’s evil but it’s also tender? but it’s also evil i know i know :( all of the princesses come to help adora so she sends a beam of magic gay light and heals everything and then all the princesses send a gay tsunami washing over catra. the horde loses, and catra retreats in a skiff, but adora and catra exchange one more Look as she leaves... hm. 9/10

#text #she ra #catradora #spop #this post... is so stupidly long #its essentially like a recap shitpost #but i give it a score out of 10 #i considered redoing the whole post but :(#it is what it is:(#hope y'all like this #please at least find this mildly entertaining #i hope to god the read more thing doesn't break #because...... this is long apologies in advance #hope its not too hard to read

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nomadicism · 4 years ago

Note

Now that She Ra is over, what are your thoughts on it? What about that Catradora kiss?

Hi Anon! Thank you for the Ask!

ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ﾉ Where to start?

I have so many thoughts on the show, and I’ve had so many thoughts since season 1. I’ve not written much of anything about She-Ra because I keep coming back to this problem of ‘where to start,’ or how to structure my thoughts beyond a +1000 item list. I can’t even pick one or two thoughts to dive into, because they all end up connecting to everything else —> honestly, that’s the mark of a tight narrative, even the big pieces that can fully stand on their own are still leading through to another piece. I fail at every attempt to write something brief.

Section I: Short answer first.

I have a very short and subjective list of media where I not only love (for different reasons) nearly every character (main, secondary, background), but where I also feel that their individual places or moments or arcs concluded in a way that felt right from start to finish. It’s a short list of media where connections and conflict between characters never felt forced, out-of-place, out-of-context, or done for shock value. She-Ra and the Princesses of Power makes that very short and subjective list.

It’s not often that a story hits all the right notes with me, and it’s much more often that a story starts off strong like that, and then turns me off ½-⅔ of the way through. I’ve quit video games during the final boss fight because the story lost me in the lead-up and I wasn’t going to waste 10-20 minutes of my time for something that turned out to be ‘meh’. It ain’t got to be deep, or anything either.

I really loved the voice acting. Everyone is great. A post for another time.

I love the aesthetics, which I wasn’t sure of at first teasers, but won me over in less than 3 minutes of the first episode (season 1) because I love bright pastels, the character designs are fun (can I still gush over variety of body types? YES), so many opportunities to explore stylish takes on the characters, and those Moebius-inspired scenery/background designs are a special interest delight. Season 5 delivered a visual ‘end game’ for the aesthetics in many ways, Section III further down will get into that a bit.

Section II: “What about that Catradora kiss?”

I gotta preface this with, shipping is not my go-to for how I enjoy creative works. It’s not a hobby for me. Sure there’s a few I dig more than others, but I’m otherwise agnostic about ships, unless there is a really bad story-fit (and that’s usually a subjective thing), or involves tropes that are a deal-breaker for me (and those typically relate a lot to the story fit).

With that said, I’m really happy to see Catradora be pulled off so brilliantly, and I think the kiss is a bold and beautiful big deal in a way that might not be obvious when considered in a vacuum. I see it as passionate and heart-felt, but also, it’s achieving(?) a relatable outcome (for me at least) that’s hard to describe. It’s an outcome yielded by a story in which two women—a hero and a villain—are divided and fight bitterly and then reconcile through love, while fighting a purity cult whose founder-prophet-god-king forces subservience through a conversion designed to strip someone of their identity (e.g. names they’ve chosen for themselves), memories-and-motivations, and love for others.

Despite these conversions, love still remains, it can’t just be baptized or therapy-ed away. Controlling puritans and authoritarians wielding religion or peace-panaceas as a weapon have been the villains in the lives of countless women and LGBTQIA people for a very long time. So yeah, I’ve got some feels about that. The last time I felt anything similarly relatable, or as strongly, was the Utena and Anthy relationship in Revolutionary Girl Utena (and really, their kiss during the surreal sequence at the end of the film adaptation).

Section III: Thoughts on Cult Aesthetics and Clones (the rough cut)

(1) In the future scenes at the end, Adora’s white dress with gold tiara and accents have this kind of goddess-like or Pallas Athena feel to it, which is a great mirror of the design choices for the god-like Horde Prime, his Purity Space Cult, mechanics/ship, and flagship interior scenery. Not saying that was the intention, but that’s how it came across to me.

Of course, those colors would be used because She-Ra already wears white and gold with a bit of red accent, which complement how the princesses are bright and colorful (pastels and jewel tones). The bold and bright colors helps signify that Etheria is full of life. Etheria is verdant and magical, and that sets up a contrast to the Fright Zone and the darker colors found in Horde characters (Hordak, Shadow Weaver, Scorpia, Catra, Entrapta, etc).

So the first kind of contrast was with the Fright Zone standing out as a poisoned/toxic against the bright, lively colors of Etheria and the princesses. Season 5 introduces another take on that contrast as Horde Prime is the opposite, or antithesis of Etheria’s colorful life. He’s like anti-life with his shades of light-and-dark grays on white, and only glow-green as an accent. In some cultures and religious traditions, white is associated with purity, and in others it is associated with death.

When Horde Prime ‘purifies’ Hordak for the sins of individuality and emotion (emotion for others, for his own sake), Hordak is drained of the colors he chose for himself during exile. In addition to being a contrast to Horde Prime (and informed by the 80s cartoon design), Hordak’s dark blue (or blue-black) and red color palette reflects the traditional use of red as a color for evil (especially vampirism) from back when diabolism was a stand-in for ‘the Devil’ in many forms of visual media (comics, live-action, animation, etc). In place of diabolic red, Horde Prime has toxic glow-green.

I absolutely love the use of the glow-green accents. Color trends for villains and significations of evil come and go, and I’m glad to see the color green be used again, and used so well. The last time I saw that shade of glow-green used so well was in Sleeping Beauty (re: Maleficent’s magic and the orb on her staff) and as the Loc-Nar in Heavy Metal. In both films, there are connotations of evil as a poisonous and corrupting influence. Green, in the context of evil, almost always signifies poison (and sometimes envy). I also like that the glow-green color is used in ways that aren’t immediately saying ‘this is evil’, such as the green baptismal waters and flames from the purification scene, or the green amniotic protein fluid. The language of piety and trappings of the sacred can cloak a sinister purpose.

I don’t know if any of that was intentional, but Horde Prime feels like the perfect synergy of purity and death (which has additional connotations, but that’s a very personal interpretation).

(2) Horde Prime immediately gave me subtle cult vibes in his first cameo (Season 3), and the follow-through on that was perfect and exactly what I was hoping to see. The background music throughout the scenes aboard the flagship fits well (love the soundtrack), and has the quality of Ecstatic Experience without pulling directly from any specific religion. Horde Prime’s dialogue is a delightful bit of narcissism veiled with the language of piety.

A purity cult comprised of clone-brother-worshippers of the cult’s founder-prophet-god-king reinforces that narcissism and has all the fun-dark feels of shiny-techno-future-dystopias. It is also an interesting use of clones, especially in a story format that usually never has the time to really dive into the complexities of cloning. This is the sort of thing that you’d be more likely to see in a one-off episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, rather than the basis for a greater scope villain, or multi-season nemesis. (and yes, Star Trek: TNG had an interesting clone episode)

Clones in science-fiction tend to fall into just a few tropes, and I generally dislike seeing clones show up in a story because the execution nearly always feels sloppy (in small ways or big ways). I did not get that feeling from She-Ra, where, the clones occupy the “cog in the machine” trope, but it is not their existence as clones that make them that way, it is the Will of Horde Prime that does. They are simultaneously expendable and sacred in their unity. It’s a nice flip on “stronger by working together” that Adora and the others have to learn (and struggle) to do.

It seems like, despite their religious programming, the clones have a little bit of their own personalities until Horde Prime ‘inhabits’ them to exert his Will. I’m trying not to read too much into it, b/c what comes across as ‘inhabits’ to me (especially with the religious/cult context), was probably meant more literal like described in the dialogue as a hive-mind control kind of thing. The first time it happens—to post-wipe/death Hordak—felt to me like a possession scene from The Exorcist, but without the kind of horror visuals that would scare both adults and children. The quick-and-subtle amount of body contortion and sound is still gross and creepy (because it should be), but it also reminds me of Ecstatic Experience in the form of speaking in tongues, or snake handling, or being a medium for a spirit. Again, I’m not saying any of that is intentional, but that’s how I see it.

(3) Finally, there is Entrapta, Hordak, and Wrong Hordak. Clones rarely get to be ‘humanized’ through friendship or romance arcs. I can think of a dozen or more robots that get to be humanized in that way, but can’t recall any clones that have (excluding doomed clones whose friendship/romance only existed for the sake of selling the tragedy of their death). Hordak gets death, renewal, and romance in a way that worked really well, and the totality of it is unique. I was a bit surprised that they could work in another clone—and I love Wrong Hordak—who pulls triple-duty as (1) comedy; (2) relevant to moving various pieces of the story along; and (3) more humanizing of the clones, which, again rarely happens as most stories take the easy low road when it comes to clones.

For Entrapta’s part, she’s never put in the position of giving up who she is (‘weird’ by many standards) for a romance. Her passion for technology is both an amusing double entendre at times, and integral to who she is. A romance for Entrapta does not replace her passion for technology, she can have both. Dating myself but, I came up in a time where most media (for children or adults) would rob a woman of her agency or passions during the resolution of a romance arc. Maybe times have changed, but it’s still nice to see none of that nonsense happening here.

#catradora #entrapdak #spop #spop meta #spop asks #ask me anything #spop s5 spoilers

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toooldforfandom-liveblogs · 5 years ago

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She-Ra and the Princesses of Power S02E04 - Roll With It

Huh. Interesting title. There have been some changes in the lives of some of the main characters so maybe it's about how they are reacting to them. Catra with being effectively demoted after Entrapta managed to catch Hordrak's attention, or maybe Glimmer with everything that has happened? Although I guess Adora is the one who hasn't really dealt yet with everything that's been happening to her so it could be her way of postponing doing that.

I don’t know, so let’s do this!

I thought Glimmer was usually the leader in these missions, interesting. Is Adora's training with Light Hope taking effect?

Welp, I guess Bow is dead now.

Wait, wait, what? Why are they taking it so seriously like they'd actually let Bow die?

It has to be a dream, right? But who's? She-Ra was the leader so it'd make sense if it was her having stress nightmares.

...oh, they are playing a RPG. Okay then, nevermind all that tragic stuff.

Also, why don't figures that look like that exist?

Look at that! It's so cute! It's like a She-Ra amiibo! Or a Nendoroid maybe?

Are they actually using a tabletop rpg to plan out their missions? Because that's awesome. And weird. How would an observation check work in real life?

I mean, they can't count on having rainbow powers so there'll always be some improvisation.

I'm dying at the show's suddenly getting out the sad strings for this joke.

It's either going to be Kyle or Scorpia, right?

Also, Adora is really showing some cracks under the pressure. I understand her being serious about it but her attitude seems a bit beyond that.

there you go

Oh Scorpia, I missed you.

I mean, Scorpia is a Force Captain. How does the horde's hierarchy work anyway? Catra is also a Force Captain but in charge of... everything below Hordrak?

We should all strive to be as positive as Scorpia.

So far I've been kinda joking about Scorpia having a crush not really believing it'd go beyond some insinuation and jokes but there aren't a lot of other ways to interpret that line. Poor Scorpia, they are really setting her up to get horribly disappointed and/or hurt at some point, huh?

Anyway, what's Catra doing? Preparing for the season finale?

That slow blink is such a perfect reaction image, even though it only works in context.

This is extremely cute and now everything I want is for Scorpia to be happy.

I can't remember if the lizard guy has a name, but he looks like he regrets waking up that morning.

I just realized that the episode title is probably about Adora accepting that she can't plan everything in advance.

This is the coolest and most unexpected thing I have seen this week. Wow. It kinda feels like a direct reference to something but I'm not sure what, but it does have the feel of the 80s, especially with all that purple neon aesthetic.

And Kyle's pompadour is the absolute best and he'd gain the instant respect and love of everyone in the Horde if he managed to get that haircut.

I really missed Glimmer. She may not have the most strategic or realistic of plans but damn she's going to look awesome while executing it and isn't that the most important goal of all?

Actually, they need to change reality to make Glimmer's plan viable because now I want to watch that show.

"Fee Fi Fo Fugh so annoying"

There's absolutely no way Glimmer would have resisted using her powers long enough to make this the first time they detect them.

Wow, soldiers. Can't wait to not see them during the attack.

This episode could kill everyone by the end and I'd still walk away thinking it was awesome just because of these scenes.

Catra did capture Glimmer and then completely bamboozled them when they captured her so... it kinda makes sense that Glimmer sees her as some slick and sophisticated super villain.

Noooo, don't interrupt that line.

After seeing the awesomeness of Glimmer's imagination, I want to see what Bow's plan.

Rooting for the villains here.

"mom?"

One more thing to crush Scorpia's heart when it inevitably gets destroyed.

I hope someday the Horde will become accessible to everyone, including those with claws for hands.

"Scorpia fails to do something with her claws" is the one joke in She-Ra that feels weirdly cruel.

Mermista flexing her kingdom's budget with her custom articulated Revoltech figure vs Bow's nendoroids.

Yessssss

The biggest lore drop so far, Glimmer watched anime when she was a kid, Bow watched 80s cartoons.

OH MY GOD

Those are the original costumes, right? Poor, poor Mermista.

This is absolutely amazing.

Yup, still amazing.

Isn't that the reason why all the characters have the same body in the original show? They are really having fun with this episode.

Undertale, 2015

Adora's rage counter.

...I mean, how do you argue with that?

This episode keeps getting better and better.

Bow's nod is just * chef's kiss *

SEA-RA

Oooh, this is going to be good.

I hesitate to mention a specific site because I have no idea where kids post OCs and self-insert fics these days but, wherever it is, Frosta is 100% there.

The best part is that Mermista keeps being the only who likes Frosta's edgy OC.

Yeah, she's definitely posting that OC fanart everywhere.

oh my god this episode

Scorpia is going to take their OCs seriously, isn't she?

This is reaaally not going to help fight the Horde's "the princesses are evil and can't control their powers" propaganda.

How is it possible for the episode to keep outdoing itself.

Another example of the princesses' disregard for the lives of the innocent. That child had a family!

There's always a lower place on the totem pole.

Wow, perfectly accurate. I had no idea Perfuma understood Catra so deeply.

Catra is rocking those sunglasses.

I have nothing to write, this screenshot is perfect as-is.

Everyone writing their awesome self-insert fics while Adora writes angst and hurt/comfort.

This episode has been absolutely amazing so far but I was waiting for Adora to explode at some point. I'm glad she's finally telling them about the pressure she's feeling.

That went from hilarious to sad to heartwarming in like 60 seconds.

...the tower is going to be empty, isn't it?

Unexpectedly cute.

THANK YOU

oh my god, I'm speechless at everything that's going on

I just found out your name, Rogelio! You can't die now!

welp, rip.

It looks like no one told Scorpia how Glimmer escaped Shadow Weaver.

I can't tell if Scorpia didn't meant to kill Glimmer so she threw her where she was safe or if she did it on accident.

aw, they were waiting for her

It's the hair, main, the hair. This wouldn't have happened if he had a pompadour.

What an amazing episode to come back to, even though I ended up watching it in pieces (I watched a bit in March before the hiatus). Somehow it managed to get better every time I pressed play.

I don't really have a lot to say because the episode was mostly comedy but almost every joke landed for me. I'm just a tiny bit worried about what an episode so funny means for the season since Adora's explosion wasn't as big of a downer as it could have been. Was this the breather before it all goes to pot?

In any case, I'm glad Adora opened up at least a bit, that I got to hear Glimmer doing an "oh ho ho" laugh and that everyone got their chance to shine with their roleplaying abilities.

Until next time!

[patreon - discord]

#shera liveblog #shera #shera s02e04 #spop

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etherian-affairs · 5 years ago

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Mermista's Wild Ride.

This is a crackship roller coaster. It includes Merdak, Entrapdak, Mertrapta, and Perfume Weaver mentions.

Every section was written based on reaction to the previous section in the discord server I wrote this in. In real time!

Anyway buckle up.

==========

The Hordak esq creature was baring down on Mermista fast. Entirely too fast. She had also made the mistake of not noticing it over the other soldiers she was fighting. A rather large mistake. For a brief moment Mermista really thought she was going to finally bite it. Fear fills her in her final moments, real deep fear.

As the thing reared up its weapon, sneering at her, the Princess of Salineas finds an arm warp around her waste. With a yelp she's tugged to the side, and a large energy cannon attached to an armor encased arm is extended out. It hums with power for a moment, power that is suddenly unleashed.

The brutes arm is gone in a flash. Then there's another flash and the top half of its body is gone, simply erased from existence. The remains fall over lifeless.

Lord Hordak releases Mermista, she stumbles, wide eyed and staring up at the alien conquerer in shock and something else.

He looks serious, focusing on the battlefield as he releases the built up heat from his arm cannon. The flames of destruction that he himself has born during this engagement flicker in the backdrop to highlight him. Like a stoic god of war in an oil painting. "Are you alright?" He asks as he glances down at Mermista.

"Uh... Yeah... I'm good." Mermista feels a burning sensation crawl up her cheeks.

"Good. Pay more attention to your sorroundings moving forward." Hordak adds as he readies his weapon and fires on another target, returning to the fray proper as if this entire moment did not happen.

...

"Princess Mermista. You seem distracted." The voice jolts Mermista out of her daydreaming. Hordak is standing before her, quirking a brow at her surprise. When had he approached her? She had been watching him how could he have approached her without her noticing?!

Watching him for entirely Alliance related reasons of course.

"Oh. Yeah sorry. I've just been... Thinking about stuff." The princess tries to brush it off casually. He does not need to know anything about these nonsense feelings swirling inside of her mind.

Hordak nods, seeming to ponder that response before looking out from their campsite to the fields below. Visibly charred and broken from the battle earlier, even in the moonlight. "Indeed. There is much to think about. It seems we have Prime's forces on the run... For now. The use of heavy weaponry has closed the bottleneck of his armies entry."

"Yeah..."

"Still. If you cannot remain focused you should get rest while things are calm." Hordak notes, nodding to Mermista. "I can keep watch of this post while you do so, so do not worry."

Again heat flushes Mermistas cheeks. Why? He's just being a fellow soldier. Collected and calculating and thoughtful...

"Thanks. I think I will." Mermista tries to say casually. Taking a deep breath and heading to her sleeping roll. Best to sleep this off.

...

Burning cheeks? Easy to handle. A flutter in the chest when he brings her coffee in the mornings of their shared deployment? That can be pushed down. That slight pleasant burning in her core as he destroys the armies of their enemy? That's a fluke.

This though. This... Ache in her chest... This Mermista can barely stand. It's eating at her.

They've met back up with another group of Alliance soldiers. Specifically a group with Entrapta in it. It was immediate, the Princess of Dryl shouting "Hordak!" And literally leaping into his arms with a happy laugh.

And Hordak catching her.

The way they smile at each other. The way they nuzzle and give each other gentle loving kisses. The sheer... Apparentness of their love. The bottomless affection they seem to share. Even the way they immediately and seamlessly get to work together. As if they barely need to say anything to know each other's thoughts.

It hurts. Mermista hurts.

It doesn't help that Sea Hawk is here too. He's nice and she is fond of him but he does not currently mix well with these very problematic feelings.

"Oh Mermiiiistaaaa! The greatest soldier there ever waaaaas!" Sea Hawk sings at her side.

She groans and glowers. Pulling her eyes away from the happy lab couple working on bots nearby. "Please stop..."

She isn't sure who she's talking to at this point.

...

"Oh I can share." Entrapta says with a mischievous grin.

Mermista stammers. Actually stammers. How had it come to this? Sure she had been a tad surly and more flippant than usual but how had Entrapta of all people figured out what was going on? And why was Entrapta okay with it?! "yeah well... What about Hordak?"

Entrapta giggles. "Oh he's fine with it too. Watch!" She glances back. "Hordak!"

The Lord looks up from his maintenance of Emily. "Hmm?"

"Would you want to sleep with Mermista sometimes?" Entrapta asks. "It would help her morale!"

Mermista is beat red. Entrapta is shouting right now. Alliance soldiers are staring. This is awful. All Mermista can do is wait for Hordak to tell Entrapta no. That Entrapta is being ridiculous as she tends to do.

However Hordak just nods. "Very well. It will likely increase her battlefield efficiency if she has been desiring that."

Mermista gapes.

Some of the people listening in gape too.

...

"No!" Adora shouts. "No! No no no! No!"

Mermista is clutching her forehead. Beat red. Entrapta can be so loud and soldiers gossip and now everyone knows.

Everyone. Knows. The other Princesses, the entire army, probably Horde Prime himself.

"It's already... Weird! That Entrapta and Hordak are a thing!" Adora adds on to her exclaiming.

"Pretty sure that's rude!" Entrapta shoots back looking grumpy.

"It is." Hordak assures his wife. He's unbelievably calm.

Suddenly Sea Hawk let's out another loud sob. He has been doing that. "Mermista! I thought we HAD SOMETHING!!!" His eyes are red, filled with tears.

Mermista wants to die. Just bury her at sea right now.

Catra raises her hand from the crate she's sitting on. "To be fair to Mermista. Hordak IS hot."

"Catra No!" Adora screams in horror.

"I will not be sleeping with Catra, even if it won the war." Hordak notes mostly to Entrapta.

"Ouch." Catra fires back sarcastically.

This is all the worst.

...

"So let me get this straight" Queen Glimmer of Bright Moon looks over the assembled Etherian Alliance Ruling Council. "You have all called a council meeting to discuss... A moratorium on sleeping with Hordak?..."

"Yes!" Adora stands and shouts. "It's a distraction from the war effort!"

"This is ridiculous!" Entrapta shouts back. "It's a morale boosting activity!"

"He's evil Entrapta! It's already weird you do it!"

Mermista is currently trying to slide under the table to hide. Anything to get away from this.

Perfuma raises her hand. "Excuse me... I have a question."

Glimmer sighs. "Yes Perfuma?"

"Is the issue that Hordak is evil?..."

"Yes!" Adora shouts.

"That's irrelevant!" Entrapta shouts back. "He's just ethically divergent!"

Perfuma cuts through. "Um... Okay... So... If the issue is he's evil... Can we still sleep with other evil people? Like Shadow Weaver?"

"WHAT?!" Catra and Adora both scream in unbridled horror.

Even Hordak looks over at Perfuma with wide eyes at that one. Mermista feels slightly better for a moment as the focus leaves her.

...

"Okay!" Adora shouts. She never stops shoutong. She's gesturing to the large board covered in pictures and documents with string and other nonsense. They've been here for hours. "I think we have this worked out!"

Entrapta, standing next to Adora nods. "Yes! This seems fair!"

Everyone else is sitting back watching this unfold. Entrapta and Adora basically completely took over for this whole meeting. Mermista continues to look and feel like dying, Hordak looks quietly amused, Catra is glowering, Perfuma strangely hopeful.

Queen Glimmer just looks so tired.

Really everyone else is some mix of those and the air in the room is heavy and awkward.

"So!" Adora continues. "There will be no more casual sleeping with Hordak with the singular exception of Entrapta who due to sleeping with him previously and remaining effective is allowed to continue. However others may petition the alliance council for permission to sleep with Hordak if they can show good cause that it would somehow aid the war effort!"

Entrapta nods. "Hordak and I retain full rights to veto any yes given by the council in this regard though!" She adds.

"This is so stupid." Catra mutters quietly.

"Furthermore!" Adora says loudly. "We should all be aware of the Shadow Weaver clause that states that Princess Perfuma, and only her, may sleep with Shadow Weaver under stipulation that she never ever talk about it again!"

"Yay" Perfuma claps.

...

As everyone leaves Hordak approaches Mermista. The Princess of Salineas looks up at him, feeling so... Everything. This crush spiralled out of control in ways she could scarcely comprehend and she just wanted to hide in Salineas forever.

"Hordak..." She mutters.

"Princess Mermista." He replies, glancing around as people file out quickly. Trying to escape this horrible meeting.

Suddenly when they're mostly alone the Lord leans forward, close to Mermista. She almost shivers. "Petty Alliance rulings aside. Feel free to visit Dryl as you desire." He grins. Red teeth glinting in the light. "We are good at being discrete." He adds before standing back up and marching away to rejoin Entrapta.

Mermista is beet red.

...

Mermista stares up at the ceiling of the royal chambers of Dryl. A room of metal and purple and fluffy furniture. She's in the bed, a massive thing. How did she even get here? It's all a blur. Not actually of course, she knows exactly how she got here, she followed through on the invitation. The emotional journey is what's a blur.

All because Hordak saved her life. Honestly that's kind of cliche and pathetic.

Before Mermista can let out a groan of defeat she feels a body press against get and glances over. Entrapta. Naked and curled against the Princess of Salineas. Snoring and cuddling. Mermista stares at her for a moment in... Bewilderment? This whole situation is so bizarre.

Then the person on her opposite side speaks. "Cute isn't she?" Hordak asks with a pleased tone. "Do not worry about waking her, Entrapta sleeps like the dead." He adds.

"Yeah..." Mermista nods absently before staring back up at the ceiling. "The alliance is going to kill me..."

"They don't need to know." Hordak adds. "Do you want breakfast? I can make something for you two."

Mermista looks over at him. "Uh... Okay." Might as well get free food if this is happening after all.

#merdak #entrapdak #perfume weaver #my writing #nonsense

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wearejustvisiting · 4 years ago

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THE VISAGE PART 1: Messages from the Mists

So I was GOING to get an AO3 account, but they’re doing maintenance on the website’s invitation system, so I can’t. I’ll have to check back when things are all clear.

BUT I wrote the prologue to my fanfiction today.

It is a recursive fic involving the gods and universe from @snellyboi‘s SPOP universe. I’m very nervous to be showing it off. But this is the Prologue to a multi-part, multi-chapter fic about a girl who leaves the horde.

The prologue is 1,686 words long. I will be writing maybe a chapter a day, but I do plan on finishing this work. if I get an AO3 then I’ll have more incentive to do this every day.

Enjoy!

PROLOGUE: A Disciplined Disciple

Eliana Okaram. It meant something in Old Etherian...not First One, that language was long dead and unrecognizable. But in what little she'd read on the subject from books she'd 'borrowed', she was aware that her name meant something important. It meant fire, or bird, or rock, or...something. She didn't know what order it was. What was it with Etherians and weird names for birds?

Eliana Okaram…

Eliana knew Shadow Weaver's lab was not the time to think about this...she was convinced Shadow Weaver could read her thoughts, could see what she was thinking all laid out. That's why Shadow Weaver put those plugs behind her ears. That's why Shadow Weaver made her cover her eyes whenever she slept. She could see into her. Eliana knew she could.

“Eliana...” A gentle cup of the chin, a subtle twist of the head. Eliana lost control to her. “You're growing well...what a fine soldier you will make...” Shadow Weaver said, turning away and walking to a small table of tools. The taller woman took one in her hands, something resembling an angle grinder…

“Thank you, Ma'am...why have you called me here?” She was wise for a 10-year-old. Exactly as wise as Shadow Weaver needed her to be.

“Don't worry, child. We're going to deal with those pesky little marks on your back.”

“...Marks? You mean the circular ones on my back?” Three concentric circles, surrounding an inverted triangle. Hard to miss when you're bathing.

Eliana continued, “I thought they were normal, that all human children got them...”

“No, child. If you wish Hordak to keep you, you'll need to get them removed...” Shadow Weaver took Eliana, and laid her onto her stomach, lowering her shirt to make her back visible.

“Why? What's to bad about them?” Eliana asked.

“They mark an illness...something that's hard to cure, something that weakens the spirit...”

“Oh...”

“Don't fret, my child...I shall cure you of this illness...and you shall not remember how I did it.”

“...what?”

The whirr of machines, the sound of a scream, but no pain…

A flash of black, a darkness...and then…

Eliana woke up in her bunk, positioned on her front...she tried to rise, but gasped out in pain. She laid flat on her stomach and huffed, what had happened to her? She slipped the cover off of her eyes to try and catch her bearings. Shadow Weaver was wrong about the monsters that went after children's eyes, or maybe they just didn't want Eliana's. Either way, she'd become more flagrant with her disregard of that particular rule.

Eliana saw her arm. Perfectly normal...she slowly and painfully slipped out of her bunk, walking over to the room's mirror, usually used for personal care...she turned to see her back, looking over her shoulder…

Her back was covered in bandages, all tinged with some horrible liquid...she couldn't see color. She knew that much. But she didn't need to be told that color. She knew what it was. Her back covered in blood and cuts and scrapes, all hidden by gauze and tape. Hiding her markings…

She knew why, of course...it was a miracle Hordak was letting her keep her hair that long. He wasn't much for expression amongst his ranks. Eliana couldn't blame him...the other kids would surely be jealous of her marks. Of course! That's why Shadow Weaver wanted to get rid of them...but...if that was the case, why not just make her wear a shirt? The cat lady already bathed privately, why not Eliana?

Eliana got back into be, the soft, familiar ringing lulling her to sleep.

The heft of the staff came down onto Eliana's back, knocking the wind out of her and sending the 12-year-old girl sprawling. She sputtered as she looked up to see who had landed the blow. As she looked back, she saw her..Force Captain Catra...of course, it was always her. Force Captain Scorpia was there, too. Followed her around...Eliana didn't know or care why.

“Hey there, longhair.” Catra used a nickname given to the girl unceremoniously by a few...less-than-friends. No one was friendly enough to stop her from this, even as people passed by.

“...What is it, Force Captain?” Eliana asked, through gritted teeth and hidden fist.

“What're you doing near here, anyways?” Asked Catra, looking down at the younger girl.

“I'm on special orders from Force Captain Enric.” Eliana replied, slowly beginning to calm herself. She couldn't afford another fight…

“Well, stop it. You got new ones.” Catra said, getting closer. “Because you've been moved to MY team.” She smirked gently, forcing Eliana to look at her with a hand on the chin.

“...Yes, Force Captain.”

“Scorpia is going to be securing a fort on the Plumerian border. YOU, though, You're coming with me.”

“Force captain, I'd probably be better suited for a role with force Captain Scor-”

WHAM.

Eliana's head was protected from the steel wall only by Catra's hand, which didn't do much to break the impact. She huffed, looking Catra in the eye...one yellow, one blue. She could see those colors...she thought. Maybe they were different…

“I'm your CAPTAIN now...so you're going to do what I say...understand?”

“...Yes,” She spoke once again through gritted teeth and angered expression, “...Force Captain.”

“Good. Listen,” Catra showed her claws, “YOU aren't Shadow Weaver's special little pet anymore. You never were, and you're not anymore.” Catra threw Eliana to the ground.

“...I'm in charge here, Eliana. And I don't take well to people who think they're better than what they are...”

Silence from Eliana...she simply looked up, a mix of anger and disgust on her face…

“Briefing room in 45 minutes. You're getting your rank and assignment there.” Catra simply walked away.

“Scorpia, get moving. You need to be at the fort by nightfall.” Catra said, before turning a corner.

Scorpia walked over to Eliana, helping her up from the floor. She smiled gently, rubbing one of her shoulders with a closed pincer and patted her back. She looked the young girl over. She noted the bruise on her face, and the messy bun of hair atop her head. But the main concern was the eyes...still that strange dull gray.

“Hey, kid, don't feel too bad...Catra's just going through something right now.”

“...She's always been like that, Scorpia. She's been 'going through' something ever since Shadow Weaver started acting up...”

“Well...you weren't the only one who spent time with her.” Scorpia said, as she began to move towards the transport doors.

Eliana followed close by, “Any idea what she's going to do with me? Gonna send me on some suicide mission and finally let me die?”

Scorpia shook her head, “No, no, no! She wants you alive...I think she wants you to be a courier or something. Deliver packages and all that.”

Eliana shook her head, “Better than KP, I suppose...I'll brace myself.”

The transport doors opened, and wind poured in from the outdoors, transports heading in and lifting off, getting assigned. Scorpia knelt down to eye level with Eliana, squeezing her shoulder with a pincer.

“You'll be fine. Promise.”

Eliana watched as Scorpia boarded the transport...and then, Eliana made her way to the briefing room. Looking at her hands, she thought for a moment about existence...she quelled those thoughts. She didn't need to be thinking about that right now.

Eliana heard that ringing in her ears...she was hearing it more often nowadays. Less a lullaby, more a nuisance.

“In your 2 years as a courier, you have done nothing but good things for the Horde, Eliana.” Force Captain Holst was in charge now, having taken Catra's Unit. He was a genuine man, but a Horde man, nonetheless. This was just a recording, but Eliana could hear the man shift uneasily in a seat once belonging to Hordak. Hordak was missing. Catra, too.

Everyone was missing.

“But it appears the Horde's days are numbered...I'll be honest with you, Eliana. I'm sending you on this mission so that you can escape.”

The words on the tape seemed hasty and ill-formatted. Not official like they once were, not the way they were supposed to be. Nothing was the way it was supposed to be anymore.

“Pack everything you can, and work your way to Rosetree. It's the capitol of Plumeria, home to the queen. Try and fall in with the locals there, maybe start a new life.”

Eliana packed what she could...drawings, a small flag, the eye-mask she used to sleep, a collection of amulets...she would take them off of the people she had to dispatch. Amulets for the gods. She kept THOSE well hidden. Other than that, not much to pack, other than clothes for a few days, even some clothes she'd snuck out of Bright Moon on a mission.

“Your mission, to any officers that might stop you from escaping, is a spying mission. You're officially being placed there to spy on Perfuma of Plumeria. But you're not doing that.”

She walked to the transport doors, past the few watching eyes that still looked her over, past the security cameras that couldn't catch her anymore. She still had the circles on her back, and constellations on her arms. No one was taking those away from her now. Not a damn soul even wanted to touch her.

“Wear your black clothes, and slip out at night. If you keep walking, you should hit Rosetree by dawn. Just keep walking. If you see enemies, keep walking. If you see friends, keep walking.”

Eliana heard that ringing...she was wearing her visor, something all of the couriers wore to keep themselves focused. She didn't know why, she just...figured she should wear it. A flag of a dead empire.

“I'm setting you free, Eliana. You know what that word means? In Old Etherian?” The tape asked as if she could answer it…

“Firebird. Phoenix. Burn down, and start anew.”

Eliana slipped out of the courier's barracks one last time. She still heard the ring. It was almost constant nowadays. She looked over the destroyed Frightzone, as if the carcass of a great beast...and she began walking. She repeated that to herself…

Burn down.

Start Anew.

#She-Ra #Fanfiction #Fandom Shit

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takerfoxx · 5 years ago

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She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Season 4, Episode 13, First Impressions!

“Don’t…do it.”

Well, haha, okay, things are fucked!

Right, right, okay. So, lots to cover, but the long and skinny of it, nearly everyone we know kinda lost big time.

Glimmer lost. Her plan to reactivate the Heart of Etheria backfired as predicted. The truth of the weapon horrified her, and now she is the “honored guest” AKA captive of none other than Horde Prime himself, with her hated enemy Catra to thank for her continued existence.

Hordak lost. All of his attempts to conquer Etheria in order to impress Big Brother were ultimately for naught, because as it turns out, Horde Prime don’t give two shits about any of that! All Hordak managed to do was just give himself individuality, which Horde Prime finds gross and casually obliterates, re-assimilating Hordak into the collective. I mean, it turns out that Hordak was a name he gave himself! He wasn’t supposed to be a powerful and worthy servant of Horde Prime, he was just supposed to be another cog in the machine! Hell, at one point he even didn’t want to go back, specifically when he was with Entrapta! Oh, my heart.

Adora lost. Yes, she managed to overcome Light Hope’s control and stop the superweapon, thereby saving both Etheria and the galaxy at large, she also had to destroy the sword in order to do so and annihilate Light Hope, cutting off her connection to She-Ra and rendering herself powerless. Yeah, I know she’s still She-Ra and will figure out how to use her power without the sword, but consider how much of a blow that must have been. The sword was must have felt like the thing that made her special, and Light Hope really was her mentor. And now it’s all gone, and she’s (from her viewpoint) just Adora now, with her friends still in danger and Horde Prime now in control.

Also, can I just take a second to point out how awesome that bit about Light Hope’s internal struggle was, with her snapping back and forth between Mara’s Light Hope and the current one? That whole “Don’t…do it” thing with her tone changing was genius, and actually got me misty-eyed.

Catra...sort’ve lost, but also didn’t. On the one hand, her complete and utter breakdown was finally completed. Hordak learned of her deception and straight -up tried to kill her, thereby rendering all of her plans that she desperately put so much of her hopes of validation into completely moot. And sure, she did manage to defeat Hordak in single combat (and oh man, that fight was incredible!) because that’s what she does, but in the end, she was left with nothing! No Horde, no allies, no conquest, and all of her friends were gone, either by having left her for her enemies and/or having been driven away. And then who should show up to further drive in the knife than the person with the most talent at breaking people down?

Double Trouble’s scene with Catra was magnificent, pure cinematic gold. They used all of their vast knowledge of everyone that Catra felt betrayed by or had driven away to hit her again and again, laying bare all the lies she had been telling herself and showing her for the terrible person she had become. And yeah, I had seen that picture of them as Adora pressing Catra’s hand to their cheek and thought that it was a legitimate reunion, but the truth was just so much worse.

However, it’s telling that the person they saved for last wasn’t Adora, wasn’t Hordak, wasn’t Shadow Weaver, or Entrapta. It was Scorpia, the one person who accepted Catra unconditionally, didn’t leave her due to a conflict of ideals, wasn’t trying to use and manipulate her, or had been backstabbed by her in a moment of panic. Scorpia left because she could no longer be around Catra, because Catra was abusing her like she had been abused by others. It was the final proof that Catra had become everything she hated.

And she just takes it.

She doesn’t protest, doesn’t deny, doesn’t attack DT even though she probably could have. She just cowers and lets it happen. Because it’s exactly what she needed to hear.

DT gets away and technically is one of the few characters to end this season by getting ahead, but while I’m sure they certainly enjoyed their performance of breaking Catra down, I can’t help but feel that it was in part benevolent. As if in, DT genuinely was fond of their little kitten and laid out some harsh truths for her own good. Doesn’t mean they didn’t enjoy every second of it though, being the neutral agent of chaos that they are.

God, that scene was so good.

However, having the full weight of that realization come crashing down on her turned out to be good for Catra, painful as it must have been. Because it snaps her out of her breakdown and gets her back on her game, and thanks to a bit of quick thinking and a silver tongue she manages to save Glimmer, Etheria, and (I assume, time will tell) get into a position of power with Horde Prime.

And you know what? I’m calling it now; this is the start of her redemption arc. I honestly think that her reasons for saving Glimmer were benevolent, and she’s going to try to help her former nemesis. Also, I’ve mentioned how Glimmer and Catra are foils for one another before, but any ever notice that Catra has one black sleeve on her right arm and Glimmer has one white sleeve on her left. ENEMY BONDING AHOY!

In regards to Horde Prime, I love that everyone was predicting him to be like this big, hulking monstrosity, like Hordak on steroids or something. Instead, while he is bigger, it’s not by much, and his design is actually more androgynous, with a very muted color scheme, all whites and pale greens. And yet…it really works for me. It kinda drives in his fixation with order and perfection. And I love how he’s unfailingly polite and gracious while committing atrocities, only to snap at the sight of Hordak’s “imperfection.” I wouldn’t say he’s terrifying like a giant berserker would be, but he is incredibly intimidating. I am very much on board with seeing more of him.

But then, it could also be his uncanny resemblance to another favorite villain of mine...

Look, I’m just saying, the similarities are there.

Scorpia getting juiced up on the Black Garnet was fucking incredible. I love how giddy she was with her new powers, but also remaining true to herself, even apologizing when she hit Catra’s henchmen too hard. And even with the things the way they are, she still asked Glimmer not to hurt Catra, and her first instinct when everything went to shit was to seek out Frosta and Perfuma to help them, even though she barely knew them (that’s my girl!). Oh, I hope the Runestones are still working so Scorpia can keep her powers, and I love that she’s a full-fledged princess now. Though I do wonder: what happened with that Fire Princess that supposedly got corrupted? Is that graphic novel canon? If so, what happened to her Runestone, and why wasn’t it included during the power up?

And one final note: good on Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio for finally deciding that they’ve had enough and splitting.

Y’know, I really do love this show. It just makes me happy. I love these characters, I love their personalities, I love their relationships with one another, I love their world, I just really love this show. And while I do not want it to continue past its planned end-point, I am going to miss it when it’s gone.

End. Scene.

#she ra and the princesses of power #she ra #spop #adora #bow #glimmer #catra #entrapta #scorpia #hordak #horde prime #reaction

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radiant-flutterbun · 5 years ago

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Pixel and the Shapeshifter

(Some context because it’s been Awhile. In my lore I have gods from another world who can visit Sornieth if my shapeshifting shadeling, Inkdrop allows them to. These gods have a mostly human appearance, but a few animal characteristics too. Think of Catra’s design from the new She-Ra show)

Queen Sagacious wasn’t around anymore. One day she just left her queendom and never returned. She didn’t leave a note. She didn’t leave anything behind to tell her subjects what to do in her absence. It was unusual for her. Normally every move she made was carefully planned and organized. She scheduled her life out years ahead of time. And now she was just. Gone.

There were rumors that she went to live on the Dragon Planet, that the gods have started to hear so much about. The was a land dominated by dragons. It was a land of magic. When gods entered the land, they too turned into dragons, but with a price. They lost their immortality.

Ever since Sagacious’s disappearence, Pixel looked for a way to escape. But no matter what they did, they couldn’t seem to get the ankle bracelet that Sagacious placed on them off. It was ironic, considering that Pixel’s own creation was being used against them. As the God of Technology, that had made the parts possible to create the bracelet, and yet Sagacious outsmarted them with their own craft. None of Pixel’s tools could pry the thing off of them. They suspected that Sagacious mixed their tech with her magic, meaning that if they had any hope of removing it they would need to either remove their own leg, or beg Sagacious for forgiveness.

Pixel was considering cutting off their leg when they spotted someone move past their house. They lived in a pretty busy section of the queendom, so the movement wasn’t that unusual, but the look of the being certainly was.

She looked like a young girl with jet black skin, neon green hair, and bright yellow eyes. Immediately Pixel stepped outside for the first time in years.

“HEY SHAPESHIFTER! OW!” Their anklet bracelet zapped them “HEY WAIT!” Zap “OW! PLEASE-” Zap. They could hardly speak with the ankle bracelet continually pumping electricity into them the longer they were out of their house.

The strange girl stopped and turned around. She watched Pixel with a wary expression. Pixel trotted closer to her, but with another good zap collapsed on the ground beside her.

“Um,” The girl said “Are you ok?”

“No,” Pixel admitted as they yet again felt the pain of electricity coursing through them “But I will be if you can take me to the Dragon Planet.”

The girl clicked her tongue “Hmm I don’t know, the last god who convinced me to take him there turned out to be a no good meanie.”

“Hey- OW! I promise I’m not a no good meanie,” Pixel winced. The voltage was increasing the longer they were outside of their house.

“Why do you have a shocky thing on you?”

“Hey uh, I’ll be happy to discuss this with you in my house where I’m NOT constantly getting electrocuted.”

The girl watched as Pixel was shocked yet again and then looked at their open door. She shrugged “Ok, sounds safe enough to me.”

The girl followed Pixel into their little home. Inside wires and glowing machinery lay across everything in a seemingly unorganized mess. There was only a small path to walk without stepping on something. Pixel gestured to a spot on the sofa with no machines lying on it.

“Please, you’re my guest so you can sit on the couch. I’ll just slump on the ground and catch my breath from being repeatedly electrocuted.”

“Ok,” The girl sat on the couch as was requested “You have a lot of… stuff.”

“Yeah, I have a lot of on going projects. I’m Pixel by the way. Pixel Pronoia, the God of Technology. And I only know of you as the Shapeshifter, but I’m guessing you have a name right?”

“Yeah it’s Inkdrop!”

“Alright cool! Nice to meet you! Now about the Dragon Planet…”

“Why do you have the shock bracelet?”

“Oh. Because I’m under house arrest.”

Inkdrop cocked her head “Why?”

“Because Saga is a bitch.”

“You mean Sagacious?”

“Yep. That’s Queen Bitchface.”

“My brother says she’s a bit mean, but all I’ve ever seen her do is read.”

“So you know where she is?”

“Yeah. At Clan Ton Theon.”

“That wouldn’t happen to be on the Dragon Planet, would it?”

“Yeah. Queen Virtuous asked me to take her there.”

“I fucking knew it! It has something to do with the Demon King’s growing power, doesn’t it?”

“Uh. Maybe? Sorry it’s hard to keep track of the politics that happen in every single world I visit.”

“Right. Must be nice being able to travel between worlds AND shapeshift.”

“You’re right it is pretty nice!” In an instant Inkdrop’s hair changed into long thick locks that matched Pixels “I like your hair by the way.”

“Thanks, that’s a good look for you. Anyway, I guess if you’re going to trust me I owe you the truth. Sagacious put me under house arrest because I befriended some mortals, which we gods aren't supposed to do.”

“Really? My brother has lots of mortal friends! And so do I! That’s such a dumb rule!”

“Wait. But you’re not a god.”

Inkdrop shot Pixel a chilly glare that sent a shiver up their spine.

“I mean yeah, it’s a fucking dumb as fuck rule. So as you can see I’m innocent. So can you please take me to the Dragon Planet?”

“Hmm… I still don’t know…”

"Who was the god you let in that you regretted?"

Inkdrop's face further soured "Naperone."

"Why in the Spirits' names would you ever think trusting him was a good idea?!"

"Hey I was new to this world and he seemed nice! How was I to know? Just like how am I to know that I can trust you?"

"Ok, fair. What can I do to get you to trust me?"

Inkdrop scratched her chin "Oh! I know!" She snapped her fingers and suddenly there was a swirling black void in the middle of Pixel's living room.

"Is that a portal?!"

"Yep! But it's not to the Dragon Planet. Hop on in. I want you to meet someone."

Pixel backed away from the portal "Hold up. Where are you taking me?"

Inkdrop held out her hand "Do you want to go to the Dragon Planet or not?"

Pixel thought for a moment and then took a deep breath, stood up and grabbed her hand.

With a giggle Inkdrop jumped into the portal with Pixel in tow.

For a moment everything was black, and then for a split second Pixel saw a flash of white light, causing them to instinctively close their eyes. When their eyes opened again they were in what appeared to be some sort of massive, dim lighted cave. There were several buildings constructed in this cave and the one closest to Pixel was one they recognized. It was a massive black Victorian style mansion, except this version of the building wasn’t dusty or falling apart. It looked formidable and elegant.

“Am I… Am I in the Underworld?”

Inkdrop nodded.

“But didn’t it get overtaken by demons?”

Inkdrop didn’t answer, a tall winged man was approaching her.

Pixel instinctively took their phone out of their pocket and it transformed into a knife with electricity sparking off of it.

Inkdrop smiled and tackled the man in a hug.

“Inky! Wasn’t expecting you to be here. Are you visiting Saph?” the man asked, returning the hug.

“Uh huh! Is she around?”

“Yes she’s in her room.”

Pixel squinted at the man. There was only one person that this could be, but something was off about him “Sepulchral Solstice?”

The man turned to Pixel. He was wearing a blindfold over his eyes, so he must not have noticed Pixel until they spoke.

“Yes that’s me,” The man answered “but I have a feeling that I’m not the Sepulchral you’re familiar with.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh!” Inkdrop spun back around to Pixel “Yeah this is a different universe. It’s pretty similar to yours accept not quite. Like the Underworld is fine here, and Sepulchral is older and Saph exists! That’s who I need you to see so come on!”

Inkdrop grabbed Pixel’s empty hand and with a strength Pixel couldn’t believe such a little thing could have, she began to drag them away from Sepulchral and into the mansion. Pixel quickly turned their weapon back into a phone before they could accidentally shock anyone.

Pixel watched as Gods of Death walked by and ignored them and Inkdrop. Some of them looked familiar to Pixel, but like Sepulchral there was something off about each one.

“Is Arkina here?” Pixel asked as Inkdrop led them up a staircase.

“Who?”

“Arkina, the Goddess of Animal Souls? She’s my sister.”

“Oh. I didn’t know she existed. But if she is here, you know she’s not really your sister right? She’s another Pixel’s sister.”

Pixel rolled their eyes “I know that. I’m just curious is all.”

“Oh well, we’re here now,” Inkdrop knocked on a door painted a dark purple with crayon doodles tapped on it. It was hard to make out what some of the drawings were depicting, but they thought some of them were supposed to be Inkdrop. Others showed a girl with black wings, and more showed another kid with orange eyes and who always seemed to have a dragon nearby.

The door opened and there was a girl with brown skin, black feathered wings and a frilly purple dress. Her face lit up when she saw Inkdrop and the two kids squealed and hugged each other.

“Inky!!!” the winged girl shouted at the top of her lungs.

“Saphy!!!” Inkdrop returned the shouting energy.

“I LOVE your hair!”

Inkdrop giggled and twirled one of her new dreadlocks “Thanks, I thought Pixel’s hair was neat so I decided to sport a new look!” As she said this she gestured to Pixel who was standing awkwardly behind her.

Pixel gave a little wave to Saph “Er, hello?”

“Oh! Hello! I’m Saprophyte Solstice! And who might you be?”

“Oh. Uh Pixel Pronoia.”

“Pronoia? Oh! Are you Arkina’s little sibling?”

At the sound of their sister’s name Pixel’s ears perked up “Yes! But uh-”

“Oh this isn’t your world’s Pixel!’ Inkdrop interrupted “This is a Pixel from another world.”

“Oh, okie dokie.” Saph said.

“And I actually came here because I’m not sure if I should trust them.”

“Ah gotcha,” Saph gestured for Inkdrop and Pixel to enter her room.

Her room was black with splashes of purple and pink. More doodles were taped all over the walls.

“I was kinda hoping you were here to play,” Saph said as she sat on the side of her bed.

“I know I’m sorry.”

“Next time you visit you should bring Cassia and we can have another adventure together!”

“Ok, ok I promise. Next time I visit we’ll do that.”

“Yay!” Saph turned to Pixel “Now I’m going to have to look into your Soul.”

She reached out toward Pixel’s chest and they took a step back “Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the fuck are you doing?”

“I have to touch your chest to see into your Soul.”

Pixel scowled “Oh fuck no.”

Saph rolled her eyes “Relax, it's not like I’m asking you to lift your shirt or anything. I just have to touch the spot where your heart is. That’s where the Soul is. Don’t make it weird.”

“Uh, how about no?”

“Then I'm not taking you to the Dragon Planet.” Inkdrop crossed her arms.

Pixel clenched their fists “Fine. Read my Soul or whatever the fuck.”

They winced as Saph placed her hand over their chest and closed her eyes. An uncomfortable silence followed, and then Saph gasped and yanked her hand back. Her eyes were wet with tears and she began to sob.

“Uh… Are you ok?” Pixel asked. In response Saph hugged them.

“You… You’re in so much pain.”

“Uh…”

“SHE KILLED YOUR GIRLFRIEND.” Saph shouted it at the top of her lungs, a combination of rage and sorrow.

“Y-yeah…” Saph’s reaction brought back a wave of emotion that Pixel thought they had buried. They crumpled to their knees and were now at the perfect level for Saph to wrap her arms around their shoulders. Tears now fell down Pixel’s own cheeks “Her… her name was Dana.”

Saph sniffled “That’s a beautiful name! I bet she was beautiful.”

“Y-yeah… She was. But she was more than just looks,” Pixel clutched their chest “She was the only one who ever saw anything in me.”

“W-well I just saw into your Soul, and I think you’re pretty great too,” Saph wiped away her tears and nodded to Inkdrop.

“Alright, if Saph trusts you, then so do I,” Inkdrop snapped her fingers creating another portal “Let’s take you to the dragon planet.”

#tcotg

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