#yeah that’s right I did it
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not to brag, but
first shower of 2023: ✔️
#yeah that’s right I did it#I’m nice and clean now#after uhhhhh *checks notes* almost two weeks#💁🏼♀️#personal
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The worst trauma comes from those who you love
#gravity falls#book of bill#ford pines#stanford pines#bill cipher#billford#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle Stan#the pines twins#tw stan#genuially was hard drawing that last panel cause it kept freaking me out#ptsd guy meme#No ford did not jork it he’s just a nerd who gets nerd magazines#based off those pop teen magazines from the 2000s#sea grunkles#yeah this joke has been beat to death but idc#comic practice#I fucked up which hand was holding the box oops#uhhh ignore that#trigonometry is a ridiculously hard word to fit onto anything#‘that’s not a right angle’ YOUR MOMS NOT A RIGHT ANGLE#it was in fact NOT right for him#get it
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Hey now, Let her cook!
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#senshi#laios touden#marcille donato#izutsumi#oyasumi punpun#<- In case you are wondering what the source for the little bird guy is.#Yeah that's right. I'm back to my extremely obscure crossover BS.#Punpun is one of those series that falls under the category of 'Good! but I cannot responsibly recommend this to anyone."#If Dungeon Meshi is like a friend asking you to go on a quick errand and you accidently go on a life changing roadtrip -#Punpun is your friend asking to go on a quick errand and they pull up to the vet and tell you your dog is being put down.#Then they explode into sludge. Melting your car. You hitchhike back but the person who picked you up is an axe murderer.#I could not finish it. My friends who did say it was good. But agree it was for the best I did not finish it.#Hey speaking of tone twists...We are one episode away from one of my favourite chapters being animated!#WHO'S READY FOR THE SENSHI BACKSTORY! WHO IS READY TO CRY!#ME! I AM! I spooked my flatmate with how energetic I was this morning. I'm vibrating with energy I was not designed to contain.#I should talk about today's episode here: It was very good. I love how they animated the familiars.#And!!! Anime only people now are in the loop on the Chilchuck lore. Part 1 of many. He still contains multitudes.#They all do to be honest! If this episode told us anything it was that we still don't know these characters as well as we think!#See you guys next week. I'll be inconsolable.
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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Biblically accurate Blurr~
Blurr's Spotlight was actually the very first Transformers comic I ever read. I remember looking at the first pages and being like, holy shit, dude why are you so ugly?? Ahahjcmgmg
#maccadam#transformers#blurr#spotlight Blurr#I opened the spotlight without any fucking context about Blurr#and for the first half I was kinda expecting him to become a Decepticon#because he was#how do I say it#a bitch. He was a bitch👌#Egotistical and arrogant and overconfident#And. Well. In cartoons those traits are typically showed in the Decepticons#He didn’t fucking care about anything or anyone except himself#This isn’t what good old autobots looked like in tfp for example#but then he decided to join the Autobots#because he wanted to do the same thing he did before the war#he wanted to do something that matters to the world#yeah this was the moment I realised that#oh fuck there it is. The depth I wanted to see in cartoons so bad.#The shades of gray#Blurrs Spotlight sold my soul to Idw comics ahaha#Later I discovered that Blurrs are fucking doomed to heroic death but we don’t touch that right now
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One of my favorite headcanons is that Leo grew up watching telenovelas with Splinter.
It just works so well - his bits of Spanish that he spouts randomly, his showy way of apologizing, and, of course, his love for dramatic betrayals all point to this being a very real possibility.
Plus, it’s very cute to imagine a tiny Leo at his father’s side as they both gasp in shock when the show’s eighth plot twist in just as many episodes happens.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt splinter#rise leo#rise splinter#rottmnt headcanons#listen - Leo is there for the camp#if a show’s gonna be super broody and stuff he’s not about it he wants the DRAMA.#very similar reasons why he loves Jupiter Jim Lou Jitsu and magicians#glam rock too!#the camp of it all#the way these things can take even heavy topics and make it more lighthearted with the way they go about them#the way each of these puts importance on putting on a show#idk I think it’s very interesting#but yeah - Leo would totally love telenovelas#did you see him apologizing to Todd??? prime telenovela actress apology right there#the long fluttery lashes the hand to the chest the shiny eyes - like it’s all there#someone said that one of the creators said the telenovelas may be canon?#if so then another tick in the box for ‘oh my god Leo is an amazingly well developed character’
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Um, Janet ... quick question: can anyone access our search history, or is this an incognito browsing situation like when you're stalking a hot mailman from your work computer?
bonus:
#eleanor shellstrop#chidi anagonye#the good place#tgp#tgpedit#thegoodplaceedit#cheleanor#cheleanoredit#sitcomedit#tvedit#*#THIS IS A CHELEANOR EDIT??! HE DID IT FOR HER#yeah im so right#WAAAAH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH#v.v#i love this show waaaah#THIS SHARPENING SUCKSSSS#I HATE IT#I HATEEEE ITTTT#AND THE COLORING WHYYYYYY I CRY#omggg fr this coloring is soooo noooooo hahahaha#I WANNA BE GOOD AT GIFFING AGAIN :)#im gOING THROUGH IT RNNNNN IM LOSING IT#anyway#myedit
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anyone else get cuteness aggression whenever they see james mcavoys charles….. like i have to pace around the room everytime i see him (your art is not helping. /pos)
i can think of one (1) mate who also gets cuteness aggression
#xmen#xmen movies#charles xavier#cherik#professor x#erik lehnsherr#magneto#snap sketches#i am moderately tipsy so idk if this looks right. he looks right to me right now i think yeah he looks good ill post it#ANYWAY tahnk you:) i hope my art contributes to Not Being Normal about charles in any capacity#ask earlier about erik's face getting oevrshadowed reminded me i can draw one of my fave things for film erik too#drawing this did make me wanna rewatch first class tho ... 'snap how many times have you rewatched first class'#its a new month ok im allowed to rewatch it five times if i want to#i never draw fc charles .. i miss him sometimes mcavoy in general's fun to doodle#when speak no evil came out i was too stupid excited to doodle paddy after watchin the movie but this aint about him. we're MOVING ON#im gonna go start doodlin somethin goofy bye bye ill be back Whenever
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big fan of the trope that is separate hero teams working with their respective bats but not knowing that they're Bats- and once they find out they go "Batman has KIDS?!?" but once it's known it becomes SO BLARINGLY OBVIOUS. the "how did we not notice before" kind of obvious.
Dick's glare (once you've done something to deserve it) definitely rivals Batman's. Jason's confident and sly smirks whenever he solves something can be seen on the Bat every time he's working. Tim's 'displeased and thinking' face is all Batman. Not to mention all of them lurk in the shadows and appear out of nowhere 90% of the time and are all crazy smart. Of course, if you told any of them that they were acting like Batman they'd throw up on the spot.
#batfam#batman#dc comics#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#like you wouldn't really guess they're batmans KIDS at first#associates yes mentees yeah sure#but kids?#but then you know and its like#oh#damn right theyre his kids jesus christ#oh and no i did no forget the other sillies#i just couldnt think of one for damian cass steph or duke#if you think of any add em on!
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Obviously we have to wait for the video to know the story, but for anyone who’s studied any kind of social history/psychology/sociology/etc. And knows a little about the diagnosis of hysteria, Victorian mores, the use of lobotomies/shock therapy/etc to treat women who failed to live up to patriarchal ideals and the minimizing of women’s physical and mental health issues historically in the medical and psychiatric fields plus the old Hollywood of it all… the imagery is Telling The Story. I am fucking SEATED.
#I feel like I’ve been slammed back in time to being 19 in college right now lol#AND I SAID MY DEGREE WOULD NEVER COME IN HANDY LMAO#social psych social history film comms LOOK MA ALL MY CLASSES ARE GIVING ME AN A IN SWIFTIEISM#oh yeah I forgot history of western medicine I did that one too lol#the tortured poets department#fortnight mv
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A writer and His number one fan hater
#svsss#shen qingqiu#shang qinghua#platonic cumplane???#Shen Yuan#scum villian self saving system#scum villains self saving system#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#I actually have a lot of thoughts about them that i wasnt able to articulate right with words or drawings#i just think#That Shen Yuan really did like the story#like he was upset on behalf of a good character#he was upset about its potential#he absolutely wanted more for him and was upset that it was thrown away to please the masses#he had no idea what Shang Qinghua was going through#absolutely just ranked on him and YEAH IT WASNT THE BEST WORK BUT clearly it still was good enough to make Shen Yuan care#like ah#I would love to read more dynamics about them about a struggling writer and his most trusted hater to yell at him to write his heart out#also Shen Qingqiu going through svsss and seeing how much thought Shang Qinghua actually put into the story#and how much effort he actually had in it before he had to settle and scrap#like AAAAHH Im not the analysis type and my thoughts about them really are all other the place but really I think nothing is stronger then#an author and a reader#cause my man read to the very end the ABSOLUTE END#hE CARED HE CARED HE REALLY CARED NO MATTER HOWWWW MUCH HE CRIED ABOUT IT#alright dont look at me they make me go crazy#my art#nibbelraz
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(read left to right)
in a dream, on a wave.
#sskk#shin soukoku#akuatsu#ryuunosuke akutagawa#atsushi nakajima#atsushi x akutagawa#bsd#bungou stray dogs#comic#fan comic#bsd comic#bsd fanart#fanart#my art#tried to make something less sad did it work#granted my other ending option was instead of akutagawa waking up in his home#it'd be revealed this was akutagawa fantasizing about a better life right at the moment of his death#like his life flashing before his eyes type thing but a fantasy instead?? yeah#hope this is happier tho#in a dream on a wave i could tunnel underground or i could float away from it ALLLLLLLLLL
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Ooh, you want to know what happens at the gay bar run by ex-pirates, ooh...You'll just have to read Tiger Tiger to find out...
(Inspired by this Disco Elysium comic)
#tiger tiger#remy bonnaire#Arno#jamis arlesi#f slur mention#(Remy is allowed to say it. Jury is still out on Jamis though.)#I love that disco elyisum comic so much. I have it saved in several places so I can find it to show people. I lost it once. Never. Again.#Hard lesson about redrawing/heavily referencing a beloved comic is that you will feel so inferior to its genius.#I did my best but I feel like I didn't hit the high notes I wanted. Such is art!#At the end of the day I have to remind myself that I'm still on a journey and not every piece is going to be my best.#Yeah I'm still on my Tigers propagana train. Toot Toot. All abord or perish to the Tigers.#I hear tigers are running the Olympics this year. That's right. It's tigers all the way down.#Obscure references aside; time to talk tigers spoilers:#I was absolutely losing my mind at Remy taking Jamis to the Starfall. He did *not* expect to be in a gay bar.#Jamis is our beloved bisexual lad but I don't think he's fully in tune with it yet.#How down right unfortunate that he is also the hottest cub in the room. Will he realize? What will he realize? Who Knows!#Thank you to everyone who checked out Tiger Tiger from my recommendations!#And thank you to my fellow Tigers fans for receiving my comics with open arms. Next comic will be about Rat Man.
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I watched Starship Troopers tonight.
#personal#dumb#my art#immediately after finishing i was pumped to watch some analysis vids on it#cuz i heard a lot of the drama about the original author being a pro military fascist and the director going “fuck that” and making a satir#scrolling through youtube search results was not promising. lots of male film buffs i would Not trust even on a first glance.#“The Critical Drinker” (pfp of a bearded man drinking alcohol) lol.#and then I saw cinemawins did a video on it and was like oh nice i haven't seen his stuff in a while but he's a pretty leftist creator#scrolled through the comments#second panel face#this sucks i'm outta here.#just leagues and leagues and leagues of anime pfps and right leaning people dogpiling on him for “not understanding what fascism is”#idk it's pretty alien and weird to me watching this movie and going “wow yeah that was pretty obvious huh” like literally the from opening#to the teacher preaching militance and only giving voting rights to “those who serve their nation first and earn it”#and then seeing droves of people online going#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? It's not anti-fascist and even if it was it's#the director's fault for desecrating heinlein's incredible sci-fi epic vision. ermm media literacy is dead.
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TOPGUNtober Day 4: “You came” “You called”
Bonus: (15min earlier)
(they will talk about the boyfriend thing once jake is sober😌)
#yeah im late i kno#i did sketch it yesterday tho#threw my sketches right into procreate and drew on top of them to fix some things and add colour!#jaydraws#hangster#sereshaw#comic#penny benjamin#top gun#top gun: maverick#bradley Bradshaw#jake seresin#jake hangman seresin#bradley rooster bradshaw#hangman x rooster#tg fanart#tgm fanart#tgm#tg#TOPGUNtober
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