#platonic cumplane???

[nibbelraz]

A writer and His number one fan hater

[itzitxou]

Supportive bro (and proud father)

_______

The picture I used as reference btw. I had to make it about svssss

[deikshen]

The Shen Yuan who marries Shang Qinghua to give his not-best-friend rights over his health (to visit him in the ICU, for example, or keep him company when he was recovering from complex surgical interventions), and that when they transmigrate, they actually meet too soon in the plot and continue with their visits, companionship, afternoon teas and random walks around.

It is until some other Peak Lord asks about their closeness that Shen Qingqiu, used to that from his old life, just says "Oh, we are married." Just like he would say something natural. Because it is natural for him. He has said it so many times in hospitals and different places that it comes to him almost automatically.

Unfortunately, perhaps too automatic, because suddenly there is a collective GASP among all the Peak Lords who do not understand HOW, WHEN AND WHY???? Shen Qingqiu married Shang Qinghua. SHANG QINGHUA?

Shen Qingqiu wants to hide under a mountain and forget about his mistake. And everyone wants and demands to celebrate the wedding and pay their respects and send red envelopes. The Peak Lord's wedding should be a celebration, not a secret!!!

... Shen Qingqiu can't hit Shang Qinghua this time because it is indeed entirely his fault. Ah fuck.

[whos-the-seme]

Shen Yuan is actually a cuddle bug. Had a ton of Luo Binghe body pillows back home not just for the merch reasons but because he needs something in his bed to squeeze when he's sleeping.

Since he started having weekly planning (boozing and bitching) sessions with Shang Qinghua, he sometimes accidentally sleeps over. After he's finished his paperwork and started on some of Qinghua's, sometimes the wine gets to him and he's just so sleepy. Or, sometimes, Shang Qinghua will let the other read some of the short stories he had written early on in his transmigration when fighting to not lose his mind. Shen Yuan would critique them, before harassing him to publish them anonymously.

("Oh, so you are capable of writing more than papapa trash."

"Aw, you like it?" "...it's good." 🙄)

But by the time he finished them, it would be so late, and it didn't make much sense to leave when a bed was right there. And Shang Qinghua had custom ordered goose feather pillows and blankets, which was so unlike his porcelain pillows, and Shang Qinghua himself is right there. Therefore. The man himself becomes his new object of comfort when asleep.

At first, Shang Qinghua used to just wave it off. Then he started to playfully complain and tease about how clingy Shen Yuan was in his sleep, and Shen Yuan would grumble and turn bright red and turn his back on him... only for them to wake up with Shen Yuan basically curled around the other like an octopus in the morning. And then it just became normal because, of course, they really only had each other, so like why not? It brought them both comfort and two people could totally cuddle platonically.

Before long, more than half the week, Shen Yuan was spending the night over, and some rare times, Shang Qinghua goes to the bamboo house. Shang Qinghua learns when to give up his piles of paperwork when his friend starts getting tired and to get more fucking rest himself. Otherwise, Shen Yuan will just walk in, curl up on his lap with his head resting on Shang Qinghua's shoulder, and fall asleep there.

("Really? I ordered those extra stuffed pillows for you, you know. Go to bed, I'll be done in a minute."

"Ugh, shut up, sleeping isn't the same when you're out here ordering new fighting posts for Bai Zhan Peak for the 5th time this month. I'll just wait here for you to finish."

"In my lap...? That's kinda gay--" 😏

"Qinghua."

"Shutting up and finishing the work." )

Those of An Ding Peak, being the peak that was basically the backbone of the entire sect and kept it running through sweat, blood, and some other bodily fluids, knew how to keep secrets from other peaks. You don't become a disciple there without knowing how to keep your mouth shut when outsiders are around. But between each other, whispers abound.

"I don't think Shen-shibo has left in two days," one disciple murmurs to another when they see Shen Qingqiu flouncing around yet again, ordering one of the disciples to bring some two small meals to their Shifu's rooms for a late dinner.

"Do you think they're... you know?" Another asks quietly after delivering some new contracts to their Shifu. The door to his bedroom had been slightly ajar, and through the cracks, green leaf-pattern outer robes were on the ground.

("I'm not sleeping in these, okay! You should have written in pajamas while you were busy adding in chocolate, and whatever else doesn't exist in Ancient China, to PIDW!" 😒

"Oh my god, just sleep in your inner robes, then! Better yet, borrow some of my clothes. But you're sure as fuck not sleeping naked on my silk sheets, bro!")

The disciples on Qing Jing Peak certainly notice when the bamboo hut isn't occupied for the night. At first, they just thought that their Shizun was extra silent in his house now, but once, Ming Fan had to go to Shizun for a small issue late in the evening, and he wasn't there. Nor was he there the next night, or the next. They're not sure where he is, or what he's doing, but he's always there in the morning, so they don't worry too much.

On the fourth night, Shizun was home, but Shang-shishu was also there. And... stayed there. The lights went out, and the disciples who were sent out to spy came back and reported that Shang-shishu had never left.

("He... is Shang-shishu still in there?"

"I think so. M-maybe he stayed in the extra bedroom?"

"..." 👀

"..." 👀)

The disciples eye each other and simultaneously agree to never let those outside the peak know about this. When crossing paths with A Ding disciples, there are discreet looks and nods of understanding, and they pass each other by with not a word.

(Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua?)

----

One bright and sunny morning, Liu Qingge slams his way into Shang Qinghua's office. He is followed by Mu Qingfang, and Yue Qingyuan, all needing to speak with Shang Qingqua to figure out Shen Qingqiu's whereabouts. He wasn't in his bamboo hut this morning, nor was he anywhere else that he typically frequented.

Mu Qingfang because it was time for his bimonthly check-up to ensure that his treatments with Liu Qingge were progressing as they should. Yue Qingyuan due to peak matters (though, technically, he could do it on his own, but if he got to see Xiao Jiu--). Liu Qingge because the beast that he had dropped on his doorstep yesterday afternoon had yet to be removed, which was odd. And also, he had ordered new fighting posts a week ago, and usually they would have been delivered by now, which was also odd.

Wei Qingwei and Qi Qingqi also follow along because they could smell drama. And also they were a tiny bit worried about their shixiong. Whenever he disappeared for too long, it was likely that he had gotten kidnapped or poisoned. Again.

Shang Qinghua scrambles out of his bed chambers with hastily thrown-on outer robes, blurry-eyed, screaming "Whoosit!?" He barely has time to open his mouth before he is instantly bombarded with several requests, most of them pertaining to the apparent missing peak lord. Liu Qingge also asks about his fighting posts, which Shang Qinghua pretends not to hear.

"We've not seen him in a few days," Mu Qingfang says to him over the noise, with an apologetic smile for waking up his overworked shixiong. "I know you two are somewhat friends, so if you see him soon, please tell him he really needs to come to Qian Cao for his next physical."

"Wait, who's missing? Ah, please don't touch that." The last part is directed at Qi Qingqi, who is combing through his shelves. "Shen Qingqiu is apparently missing, according to this bunch," Qi Qingqi says, smirking at him. She pokes the figurine he told her not to touch. Oh well, she'll realize why he told her not to touch it soon enough.

"Shen Qingqiu? What do you mean, he's--" Shang Qinghua instantly closes his mouth, hoping that no one heard that. "I-I mean, yeah, I'll let you guys know if he stops by! No problem, will absolutely send him your way--" "What was that?" Liu Qingge narrows his eyes at him. "You were about to say something. You know where he is. Tell me."

Shang Qinghua begins to sweat immediately. "Whaaat? No, you must have heard wrong. Seriously, I'll let you guys know if I catch him. Now, if you guys can be on your way--" He starts trying to herd people out.

Unbeknownst to him, his bedroom door cracks open and a figure, eyes barely open, shuffles out and heads towards him. Wei Qingwei, idling in the office, is the first to notice the person wearing another set of An Ding Blue outer robes over soft Qing Jing Green inner ones. His jaw drops.

"Qinghua?" A soft, sleepy voice murmurs in his ear, arms circling around his waist and a head laying on his shoulder from behind. "It's too early, come back to bed." A small yawn.

Shang Qinghua can feel himself freeze with a nervous smile on his face.

Shit.

[disgracefulthings]

Shen Qingqiu: Many of the sects disciples have been fighting more than usual. I don't suppose you have any idea why

Shang Qinghua, eating popcorn: Why would you think that?

Shen Qingqiu, glaring: ...

Shang Qinghua: Ok, I might've released my own bingqiu story-

Shen Qingqiu: YOU WHAT?!

Shang Qinghua: -only instead, I've reversed your positions in bed

Shen Qingqiu: Wait, so the reason they're fighting is-

Disciple 1: Shen Qingqiu is a pillow princess, he would never top!

Disciple 2, punching them: You're an ignorant fool if you think Luo Binghe is anything but a bottom!

Shen Qingqiu: ...

Shang Qinghua, munching on more popcorn: Fandoms never change

[amutamika]

As much as I love Mobei Jun and Luo Binghe being jealous about the cumplane friendship as the next person, I present to you:

Mobei Jun and Luo Binghe being actually happy that those two have each other. Because they can't understand their spouses at times. And whenever that happens they arrange a meeting for these two. Because whatever the other is going through right now, they somehow know exactly what to do to cheer the other one up.

They understand that those two are something like soulmates and they respect that. There is something extremely mature about knowing that there are just some things that you can't give your partner, but their friends can.

Mobei Jun and Luo Binghe probably were super anxious in the beginning, seething with jealousy and feeling helpless all at the same time. Especially when their spouses seem to have some kind of homesickness. Now they at least don't need to feel helpless anymore, because they know what helps in these situations.

And after these meetings they get a refreshed and happy husband back. It's a win-win.

[konjiang]

I would like to think Cucumber-bro is surprisingly protective of Airplane. For Cucumber-bro, he's probably really homesick compared to Shang Qinghua, who's been living there for like 30+ years. There is no one else in this world that he could truly be Shen Yuan around. He probably would rather die than admit it, tho. Give me a secretly protective SQQ and a clueless SQH fic.

[juicedpeachy]

lmao

[hyperlinkproxy]

one of the major appeals of cumplane to me is that shen qingqiu has all these impressive and interesting guys chasing after him and willing to wait on him hand and foot. but the one guy who he somehow favors the most is the overworked loser he's always fighting with???

insanity. if i were liu qingge i'd break something.

[cloveerat]

back to regularly planned silliness

ngl id fight anyone who says my hamster boy is ugly hes handsome dammit - but he is a sus dude whos def a freak , and not everyone is into that

[sunderwight]

I understand people who view cumplane in a strictly platonic light, but Airplane did more or less go "huh, if I was writing Luo Binghe he'd have already pushed down Cucumber bro a dozen times by now, the fucking Shen Qingqiu smut train would never end, they'd be doing it in every position and on every possible surface" at one point so I'm afraid I just, cannot agree.

[drivebypainter]

What’s this? A fan fiction written by yours truly?! Yes! It is!

50% of All Marriages End in Divorce by Teacat11

Rated: Mature

Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fake Marriage, Fake Pregnancy, Queer Platonic Relationship, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Obsessive Luo Binghe, Confused Mobei-jun, Tired Shen Yuan, Shang Qinghua & Shen Qingqiu Friendship, Canon-Typical Violence, Oblivious Shen Yuan, Awkard Kissing, Enthusiastic Kissing, Dubious Kissing, Delusional Thinking and Activities, Real Marriage, Happy Ending.

Summary:

"“Well it goes like this, if we get fake married it won't be suspicious to Mobei-jun or anyone else if we both wander off together to look for Moon-Dew Sun Mushrooms-“

“Sun-Moon Dew Mushrooms.”

“-and if one of us pretends to be pregnant-“

“WHEN DID PREGNANCY COME INTO PLAY?!”

“-then Luo Binghe won't hurt us, after all, he wouldn’t hurt a pregnant person or the pathetic husband of said pregnant person! Which means we could avoid having to die in the first place!��� Shang Qinghua finished his explanation with jazz hands. Shen Qingqiu felt like spitting blood.

Or

Months after the Immortal Alliance Conference disaster, Shen Qingqiu learns a bit of crucial information: Shang Qinghua, the treacherous rat behind the disaster in the first place, is a transmigrator! The two immediately begin to work together to find ways to survive Luo Binghe's return and the subsequent demise of their sect and lives, and with few options and time running out, they come to a quick and easy solution to save their skins; get fake married."

[ineffectualdemon]

Shen Qingqiu decided he wasn't going to spend the next 5 years moping!

He had the author up talk to! He could finally ask all the world building questions and get all the monster details he wanted!

With that in mind he grabbed his favourite bestiary and walked elegantly to An Ding.

He definitely did not run like a little kid eager to talk to their friend about the latest power ranger episode.

He let himself into the other's leisure house, ignoring the disciples who tried to stop him.

"So," Shen Qingqiu began setting the bestiary in front of a very startled Shang Qinghua, "I have questions." He continued as he opened the bestiary to an illustration of a creature made of darkness and tentacles. With too many mouth and even more teeth.

"Ah" Shang Qinghua began after squinting at the page "Would."

He smiled up at Shen Qingqiu as if he was happily playing a game.

Shen Qingqiu meanwhile went completely still. His face blank and his fingernails digging into to the wood of the desk as that word bounced around his suddenly void of a brain.

They say the cry of "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WOULD'!?!????!!!!" was heard all across the peaks and even into the foothills.

The sight of the Xiu Ya sword chasing the An Ding Peak Lord all across An Ding was reserved for the disciples of that peak alone.

They would have interfered but their Shizun didn't seem in any real danger and judging from the cackling was actually enjoying himself for once.

[deikshen]

Shen Qingqiu who, while Shang Qinghua is recovering from some random poisoning (that demon has already died at the hands of Mobei, don't worry), is forced to spend time with Mobei-jun.

At first it's tense. He arrives, a mandatory tea out of politeness. It's usually frozen. They don't have much to talk about or anything in common except their concern for Shang Qinghua.

Except they do have in common. At some point, perhaps, Shen Qingqiu mentions some rare beast, and Mobei-jun comments that he killed a couple of those. That leads to the first long conversation the two of you can have.

The next time, Mobei-jun brings back the beast's fangs. The two return to their conversation about monsters. Mobei-jun speaks little, concisely, but he talks about how to kill those beasts, the properties of their organs, the functioning of their poisons. Shen Qingqiu shares his bestiaries and provides additional information.

Then, even when Shang Qinghua improves, Shen Qingqiu usually takes advantage of the time when he has to stay in the northern palace with his husband to, well, expand his bestiary. Mobei-jun also seems to be passionate about flora that can kill, or anything huge and dangerous. Shen Qingqiu enjoys their conversations and learns to get more than just a few words out of Mobei-jun's sullen mouth.

Of course, he actually tells Shang Qinghua:

"When your husband isn't being monosyllabic, it's a good conversation" he says simply. "I didn't know he knew so much about flora, monsters and strange beasts. When I find a rare flower and can't remember its name, I'll ask Mobei, not you."

Shang Qinghua laughs a lot at that.

"Ah, I think that's because, well, you know, inspirations and all that..."

Shen Qingqiu looks at Shang Qinghua very curiously.

"Inspirations? You created your perfect husband from scratch. Who did you get your inspiration from, Airplane bro? Spill the tea, let's see the vicious tastes of this shameless author."

Shang Qinghua laughs a little foolishly.

"Well, you see, I had this classmate in college. A very rich guy" Shang Qinghua makes a funny face as he buries in the past. "He was cold and monosyllabic, even hostile to those who were rude, but hey, he could give you an infodumping of all the monsters in The Witcher without even doing research. I heard him do it once and, man, that guy was crazy" and Shang Qinghua continues talking while, as if by omen, Shen Qingqiu begins to feel a strange sensation of vertigo. "He was kind of cute, well, not exactly my fully type, he was very tall but lacked many muscles, but he had the biggest and prettiest resting bitch face I've ever seen on anyone even my king. He always wore all those fancy clothes that cost the same as my apartment rent, those silver accessories, rings, necklaces, bracelets... His hair was also kind of long, now that I think about it, and when he wore it down it was, god, a delight. I liked him a little. He was my college crush." and Shang Qinghua shrugs, laughing. His cheeks are red and Shen Qingqiu feels that his own ears are red, too. "Cucumber bro, it's actually a bit silly. I remember this boy's last name was also Shen."

That... That's the last straw.

"You-!" and Shen Qingqiu finds himself hitting him with the fan before he realizes it. "How-? What the hell!?"

"Ow, ow, OUCH, Cucumber bro!! What's going on?!"

Shen Qingqiu feels his face burning. His hands tremble over the fan. What the fuck!?

"... Bro?!"

"That classmate of yours" Shen Qingqiu hisses, just to confirm "His name was Shen Yuan?"

Shang Qinghua blinks, confused, recalling his thoughts. Suddenly, his entire face lights up with a wide smile.

"Oh, I forgot!! Yes, that was it!!" and his gaze becomes mischievous. "You met him, too?! He was a delicious little thing, honestly, a nice round butt, he... OUCH-"

"He was me" Shen Qingqiu hisses, opening his fan and hiding behind it. He wrinkles his nose in disgust. Of all the people in the world...!

Shang Qinghua gasps, looking like he was given some vital information. His face, contrary to what Shen Qingqiu expected, does not change into horror, but into mockery.

"Oh, bro" and starts laughing out loud "BRO"

"Damn fourth-rate author, what the hell is wrong with you!!!"

"Bro, BRO, I created a part of my husband based on you!! And you're married to my son self-inserted in a power fantasy!! It's like we're indirectly married!!"

"Fuck you!!"

"Ohh, how cute!! Do you want to jump to the honeymoon already?!"

"Get away!!"

Shen Qingqiu doesn't visit Shang Qinghua again for over a month. However, he does spend some time talking about monsters with Mobei-jun while his husband takes care of the demon court (in the time he would usually use to gossip and fool around with Shang Qinghua), it's just his thing.

[whos-the-seme]

weird fic idea: A weird ass cult devoted to the Creator somehow decide that Shen Qingqiu is that Creator and, thus, kidnaps him. They feed him some truth serum and wait, hoping that he spills divine secrets and cosmic wisdom.

Shen Qingqiu, completely confused: "I have no idea why you think I’m some kind of god."

Cultists, gasping: "My Creator, you're so humble!"

Shen Qingqiu: "No, seriously. This is a mistake. Let me go."

Cultists, knowing he's under truth serum: "...?"

The peak lords break in to rescue him just in time for them to hear him accidentally insinuate that, while he was involved in helping form the world, he's not the Creator, Shang Qinghua is.

[disgracefulthings]

Shen Qingqiu: Hey Airplane, stupid question, but mpreg doesn't exist in PIDW, right?

Shang Qinghua: ...

Shen Qingqiu: RIGHT?!

Shang Qinghua: Nah, I don't believe so

Shen Qingqiu, wiping his forehead: Phew, you had me for a moment there

A Week Later

Mu Qingfang: You are pregnant

Shen Qingqiu, stewing in rage: This is all Shang Qinghua's fault!

Mu Qingfang: ...Shang-Shixiong got you pregnant?