#platonic cumplane???

[nibbelraz]

A writer and His number one fan hater

[cintiri]

Top 10 anime betrayals

[juicedpeachy]

lmao

[hyperlinkproxy]

one of the major appeals of cumplane to me is that shen qingqiu has all these impressive and interesting guys chasing after him and willing to wait on him hand and foot. but the one guy who he somehow favors the most is the overworked loser he's always fighting with???

insanity. if i were liu qingge i'd break something.

[disgracefulthings]

AU where, after throwing Luo Binghe into the abyss and Shen Qingqiu stops eating because the food on his peak is too bland, he discovers that a. Shang Qinghua is a good cook and b. that it's very similar to Binghe's cooking. He decides to have his meals over on An Ding, which confuses his fellow peak lords, but they are also very relieved because he is actually eating.

When Luo Binghe escapes from the abyss he ends up hearing rumors about this, and sees Shang Qinghua as a romantic rival. Instead of taking over HHP, he decides to open a restaurant because clearly the way into his Shizun's heart isn't to become a respected cultivator, but through his stomach. Shang Qinghua does have one thing over Binghe, and that's his ability to make modern dishes that Shen Qingqiu misses.

Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua are very confused and have no idea what Binghe's restaurant has to do with his plans for revenge, and they think it's safe for Shang Qinghua to go in to spy because Luo Binghe would want nothing to do with him.

However, when Luo Binghe spots Shang Qinghua in his restaurant, he challenges him to a cooking competition with Shen Qingqiu as the one and only judge. Shang Qinghua doesn't want to die, so he agrees, but he is afraid that Binghe would take Shen Qingqiu if he loses, so he decides that he needs to out cook Binghe to save Shen Qingqiu's life.

Shen Qingqiu has no idea what's going on (classic Shen Qingqiu) and agrees to judge. Binghe makes him his favorite dish from Qing Jing Peak, while Shang Qinghua makes him his favorite modern dish.

In the end, Shen Qingqiu can't choose because both of the dishes are really good, and Binghe breaks down, saying that if Shen Qingqiu really likes Shang Qinghua's cooking, then he is willing for both of them to marry Shen Qingqiu.

Shang Qinghua, who had no idea that those were the stakes, backs out of the competition because he had no interest in marrying his bro (Mobei-Jun has been stewing in jealousy this whole time and decided that in order to win Shang Qinghua's heart, he needed to cook for him. When it's revealed that Shang Qinghua doesn't love Shen Qingqiu, he takes him back to his palace and presents him with all the food he has learned to make. While not as good as the protagonist's, Shang Qinghua is still moved because he never thought anyone would make something for him, much less his spoiled king)

Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe do make up and get married, and Binghe reluctantly asks Shang Qinghua advice for making modern meals

[drivebypainter]

What’s this? A fan fiction written by yours truly?! Yes! It is!

50% of All Marriages End in Divorce by Teacat11

Rated: Mature

Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fake Marriage, Fake Pregnancy, Queer Platonic Relationship, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Obsessive Luo Binghe, Confused Mobei-jun, Tired Shen Yuan, Shang Qinghua & Shen Qingqiu Friendship, Canon-Typical Violence, Oblivious Shen Yuan, Awkard Kissing, Enthusiastic Kissing, Dubious Kissing, Delusional Thinking and Activities, Real Marriage, Happy Ending.

Summary:

"“Well it goes like this, if we get fake married it won't be suspicious to Mobei-jun or anyone else if we both wander off together to look for Moon-Dew Sun Mushrooms-“

“Sun-Moon Dew Mushrooms.”

“-and if one of us pretends to be pregnant-“

“WHEN DID PREGNANCY COME INTO PLAY?!”

“-then Luo Binghe won't hurt us, after all, he wouldn’t hurt a pregnant person or the pathetic husband of said pregnant person! Which means we could avoid having to die in the first place!” Shang Qinghua finished his explanation with jazz hands. Shen Qingqiu felt like spitting blood.

Or

Months after the Immortal Alliance Conference disaster, Shen Qingqiu learns a bit of crucial information: Shang Qinghua, the treacherous rat behind the disaster in the first place, is a transmigrator! The two immediately begin to work together to find ways to survive Luo Binghe's return and the subsequent demise of their sect and lives, and with few options and time running out, they come to a quick and easy solution to save their skins; get fake married."

[ineffectualdemon]

Shen Qingqiu decided he wasn't going to spend the next 5 years moping!

He had the author up talk to! He could finally ask all the world building questions and get all the monster details he wanted!

With that in mind he grabbed his favourite bestiary and walked elegantly to An Ding.

He definitely did not run like a little kid eager to talk to their friend about the latest power ranger episode.

He let himself into the other's leisure house, ignoring the disciples who tried to stop him.

"So," Shen Qingqiu began setting the bestiary in front of a very startled Shang Qinghua, "I have questions." He continued as he opened the bestiary to an illustration of a creature made of darkness and tentacles. With too many mouth and even more teeth.

"Ah" Shang Qinghua began after squinting at the page "Would."

He smiled up at Shen Qingqiu as if he was happily playing a game.

Shen Qingqiu meanwhile went completely still. His face blank and his fingernails digging into to the wood of the desk as that word bounced around his suddenly void of a brain.

They say the cry of "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WOULD'!?!????!!!!" was heard all across the peaks and even into the foothills.

The sight of the Xiu Ya sword chasing the An Ding Peak Lord all across An Ding was reserved for the disciples of that peak alone.

They would have interfered but their Shizun didn't seem in any real danger and judging from the cackling was actually enjoying himself for once.

[greeniegaes]

SQH and all of his meals in the modern age are made in the rice cooker. Like, yea, rice. But he’ll put a steamer basket on it and make dumplings. Make a boiled egg for breakfast.

Eventually he finds this guy online who looks drop dead gorgeous and he teaches people other stuff to make in rice cookers. Everything from cheesecake to curries to yoghurt. The dude is insanely good with the thing, and SQH is smitten with this one dish wonder guy.

Eventually he goes on social media and the first thing he found after making his noodles was that his favorite foodie died from food poisoning.

He accidentally also died after spilling his food.

Eventually after his transmigration he hears about this wondering cultivator who has this mysterious creation he made. So obviously SQH has to see it

SQH: “is that a rice cooker.”

SY: “…perhaps.”

SQH: “bro I missed those so much they are so useful

SY just kinda nods his head, no clue who this guy is and cautiously eating his yoghurt.

SQH: “ugh there was this really pretty food guy who used them for one pot meals. He died eating yoghurt and I can’t stomach the stuff anymore”

SY: “oh yea, that was me”

SQH:?!?

Like imagine realizing your fave online pretty boy foodie read your twenty million words of bad smut. Rest in peace SQH’s pride

[konjiangs]

I would like to think Cucumber-bro is surprisingly protective of Airplane. For Cucumber-bro, he's probably really homesick compared to Shang Qinghua, who's been living there for like 30+ years. There is no one else in this world that he could truly be Shen Yuan around. He probably would rather die than admit it, tho. Give me a secretly protective SQQ and a clueless SQH fic.

[bloodyfries]

Runs into room

Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu probably talk to each other really informally and share "private" information about their lives. They obviously do this because that's just modern culture... but it freaks everyone else out

Jumps out of window, Shen Qingqiu style

[hyenashark]

cumplane using modern slang and everybody thinks they have some secret undecipherable code language. somebody says “what is love” and they both simultaneously go “baby don’t hurt me.” they tell each other to “kay why ess” on a regular basis (sqq says it moreso than sqh). during peak lord meetings sqh will scribble a nonsensical meme on a napkin and slide it over to sqq and he’ll crack tf up. sometimes they’ll just purposely mess with people by stringing together the most contrived possible sentence while acting as if it’s completely normal and watch whoever they’re with speedrun all five stages of grief

[nibbelraz]

Friendship prompt for @nyan_wushi for the Svsss for Gotcha 4 Gaza

They're the bestest of bros who are always there for each other, even if it's a little hard for Shen Yuan to admit. He shows he cares in other ways ✨️

[tempo-takoyaki]

It's maid day! *maid-fication beam*

[skipblebee]

I was rewatching Twisted while working on some projects and this scene reminded me of them lol

I love Twisted SO much u guys should totally check it out :]

[disgracefulthings]

Shen Qingqiu: Since the story is now over, what should we do now?

Shang Qinghua: Well, since we're immortal, I say we write down every future atrocity and stop them from happening

Shen Qingqiu: I CALL KILLING HITLER!

Shang Qinghua: FUCK YOU I WANT TO KILL HITLER!

[luminacerin]

Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua returning to the modern era only to find out all their favourite memes are now outdated and considered ‘cringe’.

A devastating day for the two Peak Lords indeed.