#yeah or maybe she has her own life
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someone said they might be trying to establish a basis to claim that Spock and Chapel were actually in a secret relationship all throughout TOS and that’s actually the most monumentally terrible idea i’ve ever heard
i hate you (whoever you are) for bringing that up in my tags and i also hate myself for never considering that possibility and now i can’t stop thinking about how terrible of an idea that would be if that’s where they’re actually planning on going with this
(even though i don’t think it would actually make any sense for that to be what they’re going for since they would still, presumably, have to break up for long enough for Christine to get engaged to Roger Korby but hey SNW has never let canon get in the way of their bad ideas before)
#star trek#star trek tos#tos#star trek snw#snw#that’s even worse than when i saw someone suggesting that it would be ‘on again off again’ throughout tos#and then he’s gonna go back to her after the movies#yeah or maybe she has her own life#maybe she isn’t still obsessed with him what 30-40 years later#like why does anyone think that seems like a fun and romantic idea#why would that possibly be the storyline you want to happen#even if i shipped them that would just seem sad to me#that they don’t mention her or talk about her hardly at all but he’s gonna go back to her?#seems like bullshit to me#like they really think mr vulcan propriety was cheating on his fiancée all throughout tos
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i have suddenly become obsessed with a theme that HoO established but never proceeded to extrapolate on, which is:
You are Percy Jackson, and you have been swapped with a boy who was allegedly everyone's favorite person, but they have decided to replace him with you. They just met you. You stand next to his best friend and the people he's known his entire life. In his home. In his cloak. In his place. They stopped looking for him.
You are Jason Grace, and you have just found out you have a long lost sister who completely replaced you in her life with this girl you just met. Your lives and personalities are mirrors. She is you, living the life you were robbed of.
You are Annabeth Chase, and you have just become starkly aware that you have been inhabiting the void left behind by your best friend's long lost brother. You and Luke were just replacements for him. Now you have to look him in the eyes when he has nothing and know you took that life from him.
You are Piper McLean, and you have just found out your relationship is fake and built entirely on the memories of Annabeth Chase. You have been given a boyfriend when hers has been taken away. You have no idea how much of it is real or not but regardless you feel like if your relationship isn't exactly in their image that you have failed.
You are Leo Valdez, and you have just learned that you are the echo of your great-grandfather. You are not your own person. You just exist to be a mirror of him. A doppelganger. An actor and stunt double facing all the danger he never had to but wearing his face. To be there for his best friend decades later simply because he couldn't. You are playing a role. A seventh wheel and a pawn for a goddess who carefully sculpted your entire life for her own purposes.
You are Hazel Levesque, and the only reason you are alive is because your brother couldn't save your his sister. You are a consolation prize. An apology. Your existence here is misplaced in every way but you inhabit it anyways.
You are Frank Zhang, and you are a shapeshifter. Inhabiting your own body feels strange and clumsy when you could be literally anything at any time. You are anything and everything and live your life with the simple certainty of knowing exactly how you will die.
#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#riordanverse#jason grace#annabeth chase#piper mclean#leo valdez#hazel levesque#frank zhang#meta#analysis#me shaking hoo: what if we actually address the interpersonal dynamics of the characters. please. please. please. please.#frank is the only person on the boat not having an identity crisis tied to another member of the crew somehow and that is FASCINATING#but also WHERE is all the interpersonal literally anything. hello. please. making grabby hands. everybody identity crisis go.#i wanna see the entire argo ii crew stumbling through trying to figure out their places and senses of self!!!!!#particularly in relation to each other!!!!! we get snippets but we rarely ever get the full thing or a resolution!!!#like. HELLO??? Piper acknowledging that her relationship with Jason is artificially sculpted in the image of Annabeth and Percy???#and that her ideals of what Jason and her can be are just that she feels like they need to be like what Percy and Annabeth have????#and thats just DROPPED COMPLETELY????#poor Jason is getting replaced twice. Leo is not his own person.#Hazel at least gets the resolution that Nico does not truly see her as a consolation prize#but Annabeth gets to be hit with the like EIGHT YEAR DELAY of learning the place she inhabits in Thalia's life is the echo of someone else#cause like. yeah she knew Thalia had lost her brother but i dont think it clicked for her until she met Jason that oh. she *replaced* him#Frank at least has some certainty about his identity in one aspect (his curse). everybody else is floundering a bit#except for maybe Percy but its kind of the camps of ''i replaced this person and it weighs on me'' versus ''i have been replaced''
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don’t get how you can watch iwtv and be a sincere diehard lestat hater. like the world’s biggest lestat hater is louis and that man can’t even commit to it for more than five minutes before literally hallucinating lestat wearing a wedding ring and talking pretty to him. this show is about louis and every road leads back to lestat for that man
#nobody hates lestat like the men who have brain rot about him#like that’s Claudia’s mother their whole thing is far too messy to be reduced to hate#like sorry that was her mumdadbastardparent. too complicated to get it sorted out right#madeleine didn’t even know him#daniel doesn’t know him (yet)#santiago will bend over for any vampire with more power than him unless they don’t like him#(then he’ll seethe while imagining getting fucked) so in another life he’d dickride lestat or seethe at him and louis hardcore#uhhh. who else knows this bitch. his momma dipped she got her own shit going on she don’t really think about him#maybe Louis’ family are bigger lestat haters but they’re all dead#armand hates him but that’s entirely dwarfed by the sex thing and also he’s way more obsessed with daniel. lestat is not touching that thing#so yeah it’s just louis who knows him deep enough to be a true pure hater#and louis loves him so so so much. so it’s kinda over this show is literally about these two#attacking each other and then holding hands. or punishing the other for 77 years#so. yay!!!#this is not the show for you louis gets the mic for like five minutes n he’s immediately going ‘so there’s this blond-’#like we all didn’t know. get off the stage!!!!!! silence on the blond guy. but alas. louis has the mic still so it’s blond guy central#louis de pointe du lac#ldpdl#lestat de lioncourt#loustat#iwtv#interview with the vampire
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whoever this beloved anon was I am so touched by your kindness! You definitely didn’t have to do this but I am so happy you enjoy this idea and I will happily expand upon it for you!
this is just a collection of word vomit bullet points for the time being but I will happily answer any and all questions about this pair!!
warnings: violence, angst, child death (Sarah Miller), foul language, the same warnings that apply to tlou, reader is Sarah's mom and described as having similar features to her.
So the general Idea is that you and Joel are happily married before the outbreak.
You had been Sarah's mother, his high school sweetheart he got pregnant when neither of you were old enough to have any reaction to the pregnancy test other than a fucking panic attack in one another’s arms. but you made it work
you both worked but made time for one another and your sweet girl, going to museums every other weekend and joel insisting on swooping you off for a date every now and then
nothing special. He knows you’re more of a diner gal than anything too fancy that makes you both feel out of place.
On his birthday in 2003, you had planned to tell him that you were pregnant again. But the memories of your own fears of motherhood from all those years ago begin to swirl through your head again and you get cold feel. deciding to tell him the morning after
it is his birthday afterall, you want to focus on him.
but when you’re woken up in the middle of the night because tommy needs to get bailed out, Joel kisses you sweetly one last time before promising he’ll be back and you can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening.
its you that shakes sarah awake that night. shouting at her to put on her shoes when she’s still rubbing the sleep from her eyes because you’ve been listening to the radio for the past two hours, calling joel again and again and again praying for him to fucking pick up but to no avail.
Sarah, bless your little girl’s bleeding heart is the one who insists you check on the adler’s against your better suspicions and when you find the eldest looming over her daughter, blood and sinew dripping from her mouth, you grab your daughter hand and burst into a full sprint until something slams into your back and sends you tumbling onto their front lawn
its how joel finds you, struggling to keep the once sweet old woman, whose now nothing more than dead eyes and gnashing teeth straining to snap at your pulse point as you push against her while sarah shrieks before your husband runs forward and cracks her skull with a wrench.
there’s hardly a moment of pause, just enough for him to pull you up and into his arms before he’s ushering you both into the car with an urgency.
when the truck crashes, you get separated from them. Perhaps at Tommy’s side when the flames rise and create a wall, separating you from your husband, or maybe pulled into the mob of chaos when trying to escape from those already infected-
all joel knows is that you promise you’ll find him: just get sarah to safety and you’ll meet him at the river
Poor thing is already so frightened, held in her father’s arms with tears streaming down her face insisting they can’t leave you they just can’t but her father kisses her forehead and reassures her its going to be okay
“we just need to be brave, okay babygirl? Your mama’s real tough, she’s gonna be alright.”
he isn’t sure if he’s saying it to his daughter or himself.
but when he comes to the river you aren’t there. Only a soldier who points a gun at the scared little girl in his arms and then he loses everything
its when the light is gone from his daughter’s eyes that he realizes. His voice cracked and raw from sobbing that he looks around to see his brother with drawn in shoulders and tears in his eyes but his wife is nowhere to be found.
Tommy says you got lost in the chaos. Everything was so loud, so sudden that he turned around and suddenly you weren’t there.
Joel wants to go back but its Tommy that stops him, that dulls the red in his vision to a sad faded pink because his brother points at the orange horizon not too far from them, so much of the city is already in flames.
“We’re gonna find her, but not there.”
So Joel searches. for the first year spent in the world post-outbreak its all he did.
He became a smuggler because of it.
Information came at a price and he needed to be able to fucking pay it, whether it be in blood or ration cards. He was willing to do anything to find you or any thin thread that lead your way.
But it’s Tommy that asks him to give up. Not in those words of course.
The youngest Miller knows better than to say something so cruel that would make his brother, the only person he has in this world turn on him.
But his voice is worried when he asks him one night in Boston when he hasn’t even had the chance to wash the blood from his knuckles
“You think she would have wanted this for you?”
the fight that followed his words was brutal. Vicious insults and scarred fists slamming against each brother until they're both too tired and bloody to continue. Each leaning against a wall for support and Tommy’s wavering voice breaking the silence.
“I don’t know where she is, Joel. But I do know you're gonna get yourself killed if you keep lookin’ for her.”
All he can do is nod.
It’s a few days later when he meets Tess. Who has heard plenty of stories about the elder miller’s brutality and wants him to put that muscle to good use for some extra profit.
It begins his new life. One that empty and cold but one he can live.
Until of course, Ellie comes along. The sweet and incredibly opinionated girl that makes him become something akin to the man he thought died twenty years ago.
its when he’s traveling with Ellie, that it happens. When a warm familiarity has settled between the two because so much blood and pain has been shared he can’t help but see her as something close, something bright even though all he can force himself to utter in her reference is “cargo”
when theyre traveling through the woods as Ellie chatters away, probing his memory about a movie that may or may not have existed thirty years ago because her descriptions of the plot are incredibly odd he hears a voice shout for them to stop and finds himself staring at a man- no, a boy- pointing a gun at them.
Ellie stills, but Joel can see enough to know that from the lanky figure and dimpled face that he’s young. Maybe twenty, twenty-two at the oldest, but his eyes dart from Joel to Ellie with a pinprick of fear that allows Joel the time to charge forward and slam him to the ground before wrestling the gun from his hands.
He has enough to time to tuck it under the stranger’s chin before he hears the sound of the safety being turned off and finds himself looking up and seeing a gun just inches from his face.
Joel’s head whips around when Ellie’s voice calls out his name in fear, he turns to see another stranger holding her a gun point, shoulders drawn back and a shadow cast over their face by the had obstructing their identity.
“You hurt one of mine, I hurt one of yours. That a fair deal?”
Its takes him a moment to recognize you. It’s been so long since he’s heard your voice, the sweet tease when you would poke at him each time he woke up late despite the fact that you reminded him to set his alarm the night before, the times you’d chide him with a harsh “Joel Miller!” whispered in public anytime he was able to grab you a bit too passionately to be appropriate in public but the laughter in your voice let him know you were never truly mad at him. You didn’t know how to be.
But that sweetness is buried under a cold rasp that cuts through the air as you point a rifle at the scared little girl in front of you.
“You think I won’t?” You’re older now, skin covered in scars from a life he didn’t know you got the chance to live and your eyes are cold as they regard your husband. “Put the gun down and get the fuck off of him, I won’t repeat myself.”
Joel mumbles your name in awe. The woman he loved, the woman he mourned the one he fought so hard to find stands before him like some sort of hallucination and suddenly the world feels like its spinning until you bark orders at him again.
“You’ve got five seconds Joel, make a fucking choice before I make it for you.”
He looks down and realizes the boy under him, the one with the bleeding nose and snarling face has your eyes and his dimples.
“One.”
The one above him has Sarah’s hair. Soft brown curls that shine under the sun.
“Two”
Wait. No, they both do.
“Three.”
Twins. Jesus fucking Christ you had twins.
“Four.”
Joel holds the rifle up above his head and the one boy standing snatches it from his grasp, tossing it to the ground and kicking it far from his reach. He slowly stands, allowing your son- dear god your son- to scramble to his feet.
Your voice softens just for a moment. “You okay, Duke?”
Blood stains the bottom half of his face from where Joel slammed his fist into the boy’s nose just moments before, but he nods nonetheless.
Now, they both stand on one side of you and he can see the resemblance clear as day the same way he would whenever Sarah was by your side.
When you order him to hand over his bag, he does so without question before telling Ellie to do the same.
She watches him with wide eyes, her hands still up in the air but gaping at her companion as if he had grown a second head.
“Joel!” “Just do it, alright?”
He doesn’t miss the way you watch their interaction with narrowed eyes until she tosses her bag to you and you slowly lower your gun.
“Now, you want to tell me what the fuck you think you’re doin’ at my home?”
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#i had an idea of something similar for tommy but on outbreak night he uh. abandons you instead of getting separated from you#because. angst :D#people say nice things#this was incredibly generous of you anon thank you so so much!#i may get myself a little starbucks drink this week now because I havent had starbucks since like january 1st lol#joel reeling from taking in all this information and also realizing he suckerpunched HIS OWN KID#id like to apologize for all the grammatical issues with this. this is just a bulletpoint word vomit to get my thoughts on the page before-#-beginning the actual fic. also I have to do a midterm tonight and this is my treat to myself hehe#but yes. joel getting separated from his wife on outbreak night and having to accept that shes probably dead#meanwhile youve lived this entire life without him because you think HES dead ad raising your boys all on your own#which just- further digs into his insecurities about failing in his role as a protector#he couldn't save sarah. he can't save ellie and he couldn't even save you#he thinks about you pregnant and alone. fending for yourself in a world full of infected and raiders and his chest grows tight again#this is all followed by Ellie going >:O 'you KNOW THIS PSYCHO?'and then joel immediately snapping at her to WATCH HER MOUTH#because that kid has no filter and he has to explain that youre his wife#anyways joels wife is a badass mfer who also maybe has a little garden and some chickens that you and your boys take care of <3 yeah .#reunion tag#ill be using that for this specific couple because I dont have a fic title yet but if anybody has suggestions!
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I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.
#if we were villains is actually genuinely good and has actual literary worth and pulls from shakespeare in an intelligent meaningful way#but unfortunately all i can do is comedy so this is the only fan content i have to offer :(#THE THING IS iwwv is just hsmtmts if it hsmtmts was good and also they committed crimes#they utilize the same parallel of casting choices with real life drama which I love#umm so casting: Meredith would be Sharpay Obvi. I think it would be really funny if James was cast as Ryan bc they hate eachother and would#have to pretend to be siblings working together. And I think ashley tisdale and Lucas Gabreel actually didn't get along when filming#also i love the thought of Ms Jen looking at James and going “i know what you are”#HOWEVER it would be more interesting if james was Chad to Oliver's Troy (which is really just reversing their Romeo and Juliet moment)#bc chad is like nooo don't do theater... stick with me and do basketball... but it would be Coded Subtextually#Unfortunately Wren would be typecast as Gabriella and I don't think that would cause drama bc I don't believe James actually liked her!#I think it was comp het bc she was very sweet and nonthreatening as opposed to Meredith's big flirting energy so she would be a “safe” crus#lets lean into that actually. this gives Wren a chance to have a personality (bc I enjoy this book but it is not good at fleshing out women#So oliver and Wren spend more time together and kind of talk about James a little and Wren is like yeah James is very sweet#and I like him but it feels so hard to get him to feel comfortable with me... i guess he's just closed off and doesn't talk much#we also get to see more of her personality and interests maybe she's like I relate to gabriella because I also like to Read :) feminism#and oliver is like Hmm That Is Not My Experience With Him perhaps our bond is deeper and James does like me Hm#And then Meredith can flirt with him as Sharpay and James gets pissed and in character gets very intense about how Troy can't join THEATER#that's why he's upset and sad bc sharpay represents theater and only that reason and nothing else and he isn't in love with oliver At All#Alexander can be Ryan now since James is Chad (and he's also Gay) and Filippa can be Kenzie bc they're both queer coded#Anyway at rehearsal one day Meredith and James and Oliver are having their fighting over troy moment and then Meredith stops and is like#wait guys. This musical is so freaking stupid. why are we even doing this#and their mutual frustration at their art being turned into a farce is enough to bond them together and they're like#we need to focus on our REAL enemy: ms Jen#and then they hatch a scheme and it's probably like. They dump a bucket of fake blood on her at opening night a la carrie#and then put on their own rebellious production... it still has to be a musical because i like musicals#families with children are in the audience and they're like OK FOLKS! HERE'S ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!#if we were villains#iwwv#hsmtmts#high school musical the musical the series
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i haven't even seen the episode yet, but learning about the fact that they didn't include such an essential aspect of the story is making me feel so irrationally sad
#letters from stephanie*#idk maybe it isn't essential maybe it's just too important to me... but without it you take away so much from lila...#she's not a crazy person that is too enigmatic for the audience to understand... lila is the character you feel in your soul#not explain in a few sentences. there is no Grand Secret of Lila to be revealed. you feel her or you don't and that's it.#yeah this is my hot take on lila. if the main takeaway is that she's a mysterious madwoman you're treating her the same#way all those men did. why can't we just feel things why does it have to be written in big shining letters#to be considered real and human. idk idk idk#she is surrealism the spirit of surrealism packed in a person and i think that is the truth of life. to misunderstand this is to completely#miss the point of lila as a character#which is that we as humans invent shapes to store the incomprehensible in and in that we take away from the reality of life#the raw beating heart of life. lila cerullo who has spent her life in one place who didn't get to go to school#understood and saw this beating heart of the universe and while studying history of her city she gets to...#extend the logic of it to the whole universe. she recognises these historical facts within her own being#she finds her daughter in these stories and she runs to her. i am so upset about this#i have to watch the episode though i can't betray my fundamental belief that you have to face life no matter what#ferranteposting#l'amica geniale#s4 spoilers#my brilliant friend spoilers#lila cerullo 🫀
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Ok I know we’re focusing on Mal rn, and I’m happy about that. But this right here would’ve been a great moment to give MC a chance to speak on how holding the team together affects her since he just commented on how hard it is. Like now you have a bit of an idea of how she feels, but you still don’t know the half of it because she had to come back, pick up the pieces, and rally everyone together again AFTER being kidnapped and held captive.
And I get that MC being gone was hard for Mal, especially since he’s my LI. But he still ultimately got to move on and pursue something he’s always wanted to do. Meanwhile MC went from saving her brother to saving the world to saving herself to being thrust right back into saving the world and her friends again!
#choices bolas#choices blades#blades of light and shadow#mal volari#playchoices#like yeah y’all support her in battle and by doing these quests with her#but where’s her emotional support#she picks everybody else up and holds the team together but who does that for her#I NEED this to be addressed#and maybe I’m being a selfish bitch by bringing all of this up when Mal has clearly been having his own issues#but I’m still salty and a little mad at him if I’m gonna be honest#he’s worried about everyone else but the damn love of his life 😤#and I know that’s because he couldn’t stop what happened or save us#but once again maybe act a little more concerned about the actual person you couldn’t save then?#is it just me who feels this way??#choices#choices stories you play#choices app#pixelberry studios#pixelberry
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honestly gotta say one of my favorite things abt yvieliv is the way the way the insanely overt flirting/tension between the two of them (the former being like entirely yvie @ liv) goes practically entirely unnoticed by the whole rest of the group bc like. it does not register as anything noteworthy as far as yvie is concerned. like ofc she's calling liv babygirl and making other much fruitier comments. she talks to all of her friends in a way that borderline if not outright would constitute harassment 😭 so that could literally mean nothing!
#shoutout my girl for laying the groundwork that allows her to be like#openly all over her best friend's girlfriend#by being just a downright demon for several years b4 liv was even in the picture 😭#like yvie really just flirts with Anyone just to do it#like the ENTIRE group. its esp obvious w the boys but thats bc its the one instance shes clearly kidding#bc she hits on them like she does w girls and shes a top w girls so its. rlly blatant LMFAO#mindy is like maybe the one exception to all that but thats bc they be arguing#and even she is not immune to ending up on yvies “how many shots for me to sleep w each of my friends” tiktok#but liv is the only one yvie's ever actually slept w. ofc dont nobody think shes serious if she says she'd hit#like she's said the exact same thing to everyone else but never actually followed thru 😭 or rlly even WANTED to#tho even beyond the group like man i mean literally anyone 😭 atp it's just who she is#she'd be fighting for her life tryna hold a convo without letting the Hashtag RealFreak out#if anything it would look more sketch if she did Not make a pass at liv ever bc then it would just look like she has a problem w her 💀#which...whew yeah them girls got some issues but!!! thats kinda sorta a topic of its own!!!#— ♡ 𝘭𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵‚ 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺 (𝘪 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵) // yvie romero.#— ➴ 𝘪 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 ! // yvieliv.#— slasherverse posting.
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sigh.
#i hate. being at all rational ornpolite sometimes.#cus like#my sister that i hate called to apologize. about things i frankly don't even care about at this point.#and i let her bc while i don't particularly want her to be actively in my life or see or at all very often#i can acknowledge that it is good that she is TRYING to figure her shit out even a little#and while it is FAR from what she SHOULD be apologizing to me about#at least its. a step?#maybe one that will lead to her either figuring it or building up to the actual problem#so i accepted that apology and moved on#but i told my other sister about it and she's just.#'i would've hung up immediately. i would've cussed her out'#ok. 1. thats your own decision but not how i handled it. though ik shell be annoyed if i say anything to imply that#that is a terrible way to respond. and like shes entitled to her anger in not saying she doesnt have a good reason for it#but damn dude. chill.#and 2. what would that even accomplish. like. what would that do.#it would demotivate her to work on her shit and like i get that sister 2 doesnt ever want to see sister 1 again#(again. she has valid reason and im not blaming her for that)#but like. that would only grow the circle of violence. it would end up with more people being hurt than have already been.#and frankly its fucking immature as shit lmao#sorry.#i have to actually go reasons to sister 2 now im just#sometimes i get annoyed when i remember my mom telling me that she genuinely forgets im the youngest#bc it means that she has always treated me like i was older than i was and put more on me than anyone else#but then i have situations like this.#and i go yeah. YEAH. i can see how i am more mature than my siblibgs to the point that the woman who GAVE BIRTH TO US#will sometimes FORGET THE ORDER OF THAT#shh ac
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really also wendy's "good ending" centering around a beautiful (presumably terrible as usual) Family(tm) Meal is sure like, an expression of that idea that it's beautiful & not terrible of Superiors to just pay any kind of attention to their Inferiors....wendy gets to have family dinner As Deserved because these are Her Kids who have gotta show up when she feels like it's family dinner time, not even a question that they wouldn't. and despite that, even as the "good" parent of the two, wendy's attention to her children is of the "minimal maintenance / occasional Exceptional demand" kind, it sure Is that "good" that wendy chooses to do any of that ever, or to be like okay we're having this family meal now with me because i want that. like it was Good that chuck sr. wants to do whatever he does to his son because, right there, that's His Kid, so. family as a hierarchy is definitely beautiful, why not psuedo marriages like when some epic guy with true claims to being a Real Man is like yeah sure i guess i want to have this woman, therein lies perhaps some beautiful redemption for that man if this woman is magnanimous & not like too inadequate or selfish as to not motivate him to Better himself, or not Try to do so. wendy sure won't break with axe fully ever no matter what, which would've been selfish of her (had to be a reason she didn't go to superhell with him that Didn't damage his ego, as is apparently always the case in turning down any winner around here. Taken For Granted you will of course grant them access to whatever they want, like dragging you along on their banishment when like, has this guy talked to his ex wife about his kids before doing this? who knows. or that one kid he projected on? well that doesn't count, nice of you to do the Performance of being unconditional support man, but no problem if you forget he exists. that's not Your Kid in any way that's supposed to play into your power like Your Family (ft. kids you own))
#only kind of breaking with this in axe Actually materially & in spirit supporting taylor going off & doing their own thing. last second.#wendy supports this insofar as she has forgotten taylor exists / is not interested like whatcha doing lately. great. don't tell her#wags just also Definitely stays after s5 because uhhh. scooter never breaks with prince until he's taken down anyway; great#& can walk away himself b/c Family protected him after him just no problem like yeah i believe in this guy So Much i'll consider murders#in between explaining he's not racist while he's right there to explain that for himself i'm sure. while redditors go why was this gay#just little Nonstop Backup Sidekick Eternal Enabling ''partner'' things there for sure. what; like how women are supposed to do?#obviously we just Assume rian has no issue w/taylor forgetting she exists. & that's correct. taylor who also Must see her off though#just Good Dynamics on billions.series#winston billions#meanwhile if you're as inferior as winston you can get another Gracious Gift of Contempt on your way out#and then taylor will lead the way hurting you (only to then take a back seat b/c wags is Superior) & rian need only be asked to twice#while there's about half a dozen reasons she should be upset at wags &/or taylor over that but no. & she's now forgotten winston exists#which; yes; is fine as usual. if you're barely less inferior? you're so Peersy as usual that maybe you live together now. nobody cares#as per ben & tuk like eugh the kind of Cringe Gay dynamic men who aren't Tough Enough deserve. wendy's ''care'' for everyone is#beautiful; in that she forgets they exist but wants to be god of their life whenever she feels like it. ben & tuk caring about each other#when they don't Have to as part of some Status Difference & when they care about Others & want to hug them? Bitches in a Bad way#wendy's a girlboss who wouldn't care about Feelings the way that the Ungirlbosses do. she cares abt superior mens' & then telling others#what their feelings should be & what to do with them. & she cares about Feeling like she should get to have dinner with her kids today
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very few 'parenting' things frustrate me more than parents who give their screaming kids an ipad, but I think "emotionally neglectful for 20 years and then wondering why their kid isn't thriving/adjusting to adulthood well, so they try to make up for it by being an overbearing helicopter parent" might take the cake.
#at least be consistent in your parenting style#ughhh#'oh no i neglected my kid for 20 years/was unstable (and still am!) and now they aren't thriving. surely it is the vieo gamez and not me'#i s2g if i break up with my partner their mother will be one of the reasons#the sucky thing is generational trauma hopefully gets distilled through each subsequent generation but it is the parents' job#to choose whether they are 1) financially ready and 2) emotionally ready to make that change and give their kids a better life#my grandpa grew up digging through trash for things to eat and decided when he had kids he would not be mean like his dad#and that they would have food on the table#my partner has literally said his mom 'just wanted a kid' and basically baby-trapped his dad#and she was like... in her mid-30s by this point#insane. insane. insane.#i understand baby fever and all that but at least make sure you are in a stable relationship first??#and also my partner's WHOLE FAMILY is like this#just... generation after generation of awful upbringings and kids rebelling and having kids too young and getting in bad relationships and#dealing with undiagnosed mental health disorders#maybe we should just break up at this point idk#delete later#i think i am freaking out because i got news about a possible health scare about one of my own family members so i'm spiraling#thanks for letting me vent. again#if my crap is too annoying PLEASE unfollow me#i don't keep a diary because i'm too immature to do that and thrive on others' validation and i am too broke for therapy#delete later maybe#i might keep this one up just so i can look back on it in a few weeks and be like 'girl u need meds' like hells yeah i do#a good thing that happened today is i avoided my urge to drink the half bottle of wine in the fridge#irish genes be gone from me today muahahaha
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i love thinking about how celica is just like. kinda The funniest fighting game character ever, without being a joke character like neco arc. she's hilarious unintentionally. she's extremely good at magic. she refuses to use it to hurt anyone ever even in self defense. she's a pacifist by choice but also because she's just really bad at hurting people even conceptually. i cannot imagine celica actually hitting anyone for any reason herself. that's what nine/ragna/minerva are for. her magical aptitude is extremely high and she's basically the only bitch that's ever been this good at healing magic on earth. she knows lightning magic but it's loud and scares her so we never see her use it. she's literally kind to everyone's detriment in that if she fights the literal god killing antagonist of the series she heals him anyway. she's constantly telling her big scary robot gf who's made to protect her to be nicer to people. her vibes are so good that she makes two of the main antagonists physically ill and nullifies bad vibes just by existing. and she's gay
#crow.txt#blazblueposting#and nine being her sister is always the funniest thing ever#like. by design. but its still so funny#extremely adept at magic in opposite directions. WORLD EXPLODE NOW vs ill heal ALL you fuckers.#shes so fucking funny. the fighting game character of all time. and she could not stand to hurt anyone ever even by accident#yeah yeah i know she has canonically kinda sorta maybe done things that count as fighting but like. very rarely#i dont think that one time she broke ragna and jin up when they were fighting in the middle of the hallway really counts#even if it was pre minerva#girl has never had to fight her own battles in her whole life#a squirrel could kick her ass and i dont even mean makoto. just a regular ass squirrel could kick her ass#and she would apologize
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1 advice to (too) many people: try to start taking yourselves and life less seriously. really
#💛#Like. my dog was taking her morning shit in the backland today and then heard a blackbird sing in the conifer. she looked so mesmerized#the sight of that was everything#Once you understand nothing in life belongs to you (no gains no wins no losses no shit at all) life gets so much easier 🙏#If you think of life as a competition...get over yourself sally and grab a coffee or go look at some clouds. You're enough as you are#Everything is transient. we're only here for a very brief moment. With most ppl we share less hours than we'd think (for whatever reasons)#so enjoy it!!!!! find the weirdness in the mundane!!! the silver lining in the freaking cess pool circus. yea please be a little unhinged#Just breathe. Life isn't out to get you. yeah maybe that fine ass. furthermore just trust it'll all work out in your favor. as it always ha#*has :)#Also be straightforward. Say the unspoken. Be honest to a fault (even if it evokes opposite reactions). Don't bottle shit up#Just relax + smile more. Invest in your own well-being and try to lookout for others' much as you are able to. that's all
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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Yk I'm always thinking about Buck Actually and the talk Buck has with Thomas and the whole "you don't find it, son, you make it" and the way Buck looked at Thomas dying right after Mitchell holding his hand and the way some part of Buck looked at them and connected love with death and now keeps trying to make something to the point that it would kill him. He heard that the type of love he wants comes from work and decided he needs wear himself down to get it and it's just devastating.
#always thinking about that no cap#like#the boy doesn't know how healthy love feels like#his parents were too caught up in their own grief to be an example#and from what we've seen from them they do not give any major love vibes#he maybe saw Maddie with Doug as a kid but thats literally the further from healthy#his first real relationship ended with her running away and the 3 girl he got with after are people that came back to him#like thats so sad#Abby ran and that hurt him in an unbelievable level considering how hes been left behind his whole life#and they he got with Ali someone who travelled a lot but came back to be with him to the point of staying in his place#and then he got with Taylor because she left when he was vulnerable but she came bacl#and the same with Natalia#and sure relationships take work but they shouldn't destroy you in the process#you need to give yeah but you need to get something out of it too#and he wants to be loved anyway so badly he keeps accepting anything close to the idea of love he has#and it makes me want to cry#someone love that man the way he deserves please#he loves with so much of himself he should get someone that loves him like that#911#thoughts thoughts thoughts#buck
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