#and louis loves him so so so much. so it’s kinda over this show is literally about these two

[laniidae-passerine]

don’t get how you can watch iwtv and be a sincere diehard lestat hater. like the world’s biggest lestat hater is louis and that man can’t even commit to it for more than five minutes before literally hallucinating lestat wearing a wedding ring and talking pretty to him. this show is about louis and every road leads back to lestat for that man

[elsweetheart]

what you heard : part one

synopsis: you start to develop feelings for your boyfriends dealer.

♪ what you heard — sonder ♪

cw: reader is a bisexual woman dating a man, brief descriptions of having sex with a man, weed, alcohol, ellie’s sexual thoughts, blink and you miss it mention of throwing up, a man being really mean and a bad boyfriend, gay girl drama, ellie is kind of a homewrecker but reader doesn’t technically cheat, but mentions of it. kind of angsty at times? a little?

an: whew this is kinda lengthy !! idk how many words so… don’t ask me :( i hope you all enjoy it! i’ll start writing part two asap!

Ellie didn’t hate any of her customers, no. That would be bad for business. She just simply… preferred some over the others. Louis was one of those customers that she wouldn’t exactly reserve her best weed for. Not originally, at least. He was like a lot of the other guys on campus, average. Brown hair with the same old outfits, love of sports, and friend group. She could find one hundred of him. She kept a pretty exclusive clients list, not wanting to overwhelm herself with business whilst she’s really trying this year to stay on top of her studies. He wasn’t the most polite, and he was always showing up without texting first — but he paid, and that was good enough to keep him on as a customer.

Alright, maybe that wasn’t really the reason Ellie kept him on as a customer.

She always liked to check out the social media accounts of the people she sold to, try and figure out what kind of person they were, who they knew, and if they seemed like the type to give her up if a cop came knocking. Also, simply put — the girl was nosy. Don’t let her nonchalant demeanour fool you, her Insta-stalking skills rivalled the FBI. She knew she probably shouldn’t, and she did feel a little weird doing it — scrolling on her bed one evening in a hoodie and basketball shorts, she typed in Louis’ name to the Instagram search bar.

He had one picture up of you, the rest were pictures of him and his friends at parties. Real classy, she thought. She clicked the picture, wondering what kind of girl would have to be desperate enough to go out with a guy this… meh, and oh… Oh. You were smoking hot. It was a halloween throwback, a basic couple costume with Louis dressed as the devil and you, ironically enough dressed as an angel. He kept his sweaty pink hand on the curve of your ass as the two of you laughed. She wondered what was funny. He got lucky, she thought. Very lucky.

Ellie tapped you, and a tag emerged on the screen with your name. Pretty name, of course. Private account — much to her disappointment.

It would be totally inappropriate to follow you, right? Her customers girlfriend. Ellie clicked her own profile, gazing at it thoughtfully. Her profile picture was a black screen, and she had zero pictures up on her account. She had a considerable amount of followers, given her reputation but she didn’t follow many back — just a few very loyal customers, and her best friends Jesse and Dina. It would be weird to follow you right? Yes. Very weird, Ellie. She closed out the app, and pretty much forgot about it.

It was always the same exchange with Louis. He turned up, either unannounced or 2 hours late — burp, demand weed whilst barely sparing Ellie a glance or a thank you, and then head out. She didn’t always mind — not being a huge fan of small talk anyway, though she could do without the burp. He’d had texted earlier in the day, asking — no, telling Ellie that he would be passing by to pick up his usual ‘at some point’. A quiet knock rapt at the door around 02:23PM. Ellie swung the door open, coming face to face with you.

“Hi… Ellie?” You smiled. Hopeful, sweet, even prettier in person. You were wearing a little sundress with the cheap thin material that hugged every curve on your body, and if she stared a little longer like she wanted to she’d start to border on creepy. Ellie cleared her throat, fighting out a greeting and praying it would come out relatively normal.

“Yeah.” Was what she landed on. Whatever, play it cool. Pretend you didn’t try and stalk her Instagram.

“Louis isn’t coming, the weed is for me and he told me where to buy from, so… hi.” You grinned before telling her your name like she didn’t already know it.

“Hey. I’m Ellie.” And with that, she stepped aside and let you in.

It was like you brought the sunshine in from outside with you, because as soon as you stepped into her room Ellie felt too warm in her grey hoodie. She pushed the sleeves up as your eyes flickered around her dorm, realised she felt stupid and pushed them back down.

“How much you want?” She was pulling out the metal box from her drawer, glancing up at you as your brows furrowed unsurely — thinking as you tugged at your glossed lip. Ellie tried not to stare.

“Uh—” You breathed, and it relaxed Ellie slightly to see that you seemed more nervous than she did somewhat— just for a different reason. “Louis told me to just ask for what he usually gets? I’m sorry, I’ve never bought my own weed before.” You cringed, and then cringed again at the word choice. Ellie smiled fade into a soft chuckle with a nod that said ‘I bet you haven’t.’ She should have guessed, when did pretty girls ever buy their own weed?

“You’re good. I know what his usual is.” Ellie reassured, digging around in the nuggets. She pulled a couple out, placing them down on her scale before bagging them up. You held out your hand unsurely, and she pressed the plastic baggie into it. Your mouth opened to say something, and Ellie’s hand froze above yours as she watched you — trying to work out what might be wrong. “What? Is this not…”

“No, sorry. It’s perfect. I assume. I’m not sure. I just… I don’t know how to roll these. Lou told me to buy my own weed seeing as I am the one who wanted to smoke and — it’s okay. I’ll just Google it.” You shook your head, feeling your cheeks turn warm at your own rambling. Ellie stopped you as you went to shove the baggie into her pocket with a calm smile, raising her eyebrows as if to say ‘Hey, it’s okay. Chill.’

“I can roll it for you. It’s no biggie.”

You visibly relaxed, and Ellie could tell because of the way your chest collapsed slightly, not suffocating your tits against the material of your dress anymore which she couldn’t help but glance at as you looked away. “Thanks. Sorry.” You guffawed, your embarrassment seeming a little relieved as you stepped back, leaning against her desk as she pulled her chair and tray out to do the rolling.

“Louis not buying your weed for you?” She conversed, eyes on the rolling paper as she carefully packed it. Your head snapped towards her, realising that you were the one who blabbed that. Her eyes glanced up at you briefly when you didn’t immediately answer.

“No. It’s… okay though.” You justified, a mass of shame swirling just below your rib cage. You didn’t wanna talk shit about your boyfriend to a stranger, even if the stranger had a totally welcoming vibe about her — and your boyfriend was cheap. Ellie tsk’d lightheartedly, shaking her head. “Against the rules, man.” She comment quietly.

“What rules?” You furrowed your brows defensively as she continued packing.

“You don’t let your girl buy her own weed?” She repeat obviously. Something about the way she said it made the embarrassment in your stomach dissipate into butterflies, which widened your eyes slightly at the disloyal feeling.

“Oh.”

Silence for a beat or two as Ellie concentrate. You notice the lesbian flag on her pinboard.

“It’ll probably just be me and my friends that smoke it anyway. The weathers nice so we’ll be at one of those frat pool parties… You don’t go to those?” You tilt your head, and her eyes lingered on you as you did so at the sugary sweetness in your gesture. God, you made her teeth hurt.

“Nah. I hear those things get weird and horny. Straight people… no offence.” She glances towards you once more, the ‘no offence’ holding little to no weight. Ellie didn’t seem like the type to give a shit about offence, anyways.

“I’m bisexual, but I understand.” You giggle, pushing yourself back to sit more on her desk, swinging your legs as you watch her roll. Her fingers froze for just a moment, before she continued rolling.

“Oh yeah?” She conversed, absolutely despising how a flame of hope flickered in her chest. Nope. Not doing this again.

“Yeah, actually I…” You chuckled. “I started college with the hopes of finding a girlfriend. Things just… didn’t end up that way I guess.” You shrugged, and you seemed happy enough but Ellie could sense the disappointment buried deep.

“Huh.” Ellie let out as she licked the rolling paper, firmly closing it up. She kind of hoped you were watching her as she did so. You weren’t. “You know if you squint really hard Louis could be a lesbian.”

“Really?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Nope.” Ellie pushed her chair back, standing. You chuckled and she smirked, pushing the two pre rolls she’d made into a bigger baggie and then presenting them to you. “This gonna be enough?”

“Oh yeah, I’m a total lightweight.” You giggled girlishly and she nodded, stuffing her hands into her pockets as she watched you fish around in your purse, unzipping an inside pocket to stuff the rolls inside.

“Cute.” She let slip with a smile, and your heart fluttered a little. You berated yourself for that silently.

“What extra do I owe you? Do you charge for rolling or… I don’t know how this usually works.” You pulled out your pink zip up wallet, the zip a glittery jewel between your fingers.

“Nah. No extra charge.” She held her hands up and you raised your eyebrows in surprise. That was a lie. She did usually charge extra for that, but one thing about Ellie was that she was a sucker for the pretty girl discount.

“Really?” And out came the doe eyes, your dark heavy eyelashes weighty above your pretty eyes as you looked up at her in awe. It was Ellie’s hearts turn to flutter.

“Really.” She smirked, not breaking eye contact (much to her surprise) as she pinched the cash payment from you between her pointer and middle finger knuckles, only swallowing down the giddiness when your fingers brushed hers. You grinned, zipping your wallet back up and tucking it away, feet tapping on the floor a little like you just couldn’t contain your excitement (Which made Ellie want to squeeze you.)

“I know you said it’s not your thing, but you should come to one of the pool parties. Most of the time the people there are cool. It’ll be good for business.” You wiggled your eyebrows which made Ellie’s smile uncontainable, teeth actually on display now which she honestly never did. No one was ever funny or cute enough.

“Maybe.” She rolled her eyes with a smile, walking you towards her door.

“They happen every weekend. Would be cool to see you there.” You fixed your bag over your shoulder before turning back to her. “Nice to meet you, Ellie. You’ll be seeing more of me.” You nodded formally, and the auburn haired girl tore her eyes away from the visible band of your underwear through the material of the dress when you looked back at her, muttering a “Good.”

Ellie always came away from these kind of things wishing she said more. She knew you had a boyfriend, but something about you seemed more curious. Like you weren’t totally against the idea of flirting back. Maybe it was all in her head because of the stupid crush she’d already developed. She didn’t understand it, how could someone like you feel fulfilled by someone like him. Ellie would never let you pay for your own weed, she’d treat you right. She had the means to be able to spoil you, which she didn’t need proof to know that Louis didn’t. Hell, he couldn’t even pay for his girls weed — Ellie knew stingy when she saw it. He probably wasn’t even making you cum. Not like Ellie could anyway, but then again who could? She’d like to think she had a gift — but maybe it was a guitarist-fingers thing, and years of deftly rolling tight joints.

Ellie shook her head free of the thought — sure she was a little grey-moralled — but thinking about finger fucking one of your customers girlfriends on a sunny afternoon felt a little wrong even for her. She was heading off to meet Dina to exchange notes for a class she missed, again just about willing herself to stay focused this semester. The two of them chat over coffee, the notes barely touched as the two friends joked around. When a pensive silence filled the space between them, Ellie spoke up — picking at a hangnail in a way she hoped was casual.

“You ever been to those campus pool parties? The ones at that douchey frat house?” She shrugged, glancing up at her darker haired friend.

“Uh, yeah. Like once or twice.” Dina frowned before snickering, raising a doubtful eyebrow. “What, you interested? You don’t even enjoy regular parties, hermit.”

Ellie’s jaw dropped slightly in offence, letting out a scoff before taking a sip of her coffee — still scalding hot on her tongue. “Excuse me. I’d be there strictly on business. I heard it’s… I was told I should go.” She explained. Dina’s smirk deepened, eyes lowering into slits.

“Who is she?”

“Why do you assume this is about a girl?” She rolled her jewelled eyes, before glancing around the cafe just incase anyone was listening to her pathetic segue into talking about you.

“Because last time I suggested you come with me and Jesse you nearly threw a textbook at my head.” Dina argued, making Ellie sit back in her seat, looking away in defeat as she crossed her arms over her light grey hoodie.

“She’s got a boyfriend. So it doesn’t matter. Just said it would be good for business and… the customer is always right, so I’ve been told.” Ellie rushed out, Dina’s shoulders dropping with a pitying look.

“Oh Ellie. Why put yourself through that?”

“She’s bi — okay stop. This isn’t about her. I was just asking. Fuckin’… forget it.” Ellie flipped the page of her notes now, going to scribble down what Dina had written to get her mind off the conversation.

“Alright, alright.” Her friends held up her hands. “Defensive.”

Ellie didn’t see Louis much from that point on. Same time, every week — you would be on her doorstep. Ellie wasn’t sure if it was just out of convenience, or maybe you had wanted to see her. You had the same spritely, sunshine attitude each time you stepped into her dorm — lighting it up with your smile and your pretty dresses. The auburn haired dealers heart was beginning to ache in a painfully familiar way. An unrequited crush, a girl she couldn’t have. She wished she could say this was the first time she’d crushed on a girl with a boyfriend — but that would be a lie.

Each time you left, the giddiness would fade out into a prickly, warm and uncomfortable anger settling in at the pit of her stomach. Occasionally, you’d let slip the way Louis treat you — and if you didn’t say it, she could tell by the look on your face when his name would come up. Your classes were stressing you out, hence needing her weed to unwind in the first place, and your boyfriend was doing nothing to ease your anxiety, instead choosing to go out and get wasted with his friends each night. You deserved better, and she knew it wasn’t her place to say but shit, it was killing her. You were killing her. She could treat you better.

From outside the frat house, she could hear music, laughter, and water splashing from down the street. Ellie stood with Dina and Jesse, already regretting her decision.

“Fuck this. I’m turning around.” Ellie attempted to swivel, but Jesse grabbed her arm.

“No you’re not. You’re here to sell, remember? Got a friend with money, said he’d pay you good.” He gave her a light shove towards the door, Dina rolling her eyes at the two’s antics. Ellie felt overdressed, wearing her short sleeved blue worn denim shirt unbuttoned over a wife beater and shorts with her Converse, pockets stuffed with pre-rolls gifting her that usual marijuana infused smell that followed her around that said ‘Hey everyone! I’m a dealer!’ Upon stepping out into the backyard, it was clear what kind of party it was. The sun was still shining, and people seemed pretty drunk already — jumping off the low roof and into the pool, girls on the outskirts squealing in their bikinis. The floor was practically vibrating with the bass from a Drake song and the sun was sizzling the back of Ellie’s neck — recipe for a headache, she thought. She’d sell her shit, and get out.

She knew you’d be here. In the back of her mind she knew. And yet, her heart still damn near thudded out her chest when you were suddenly right in front of her, arms extended with a big toothy grin. Ellie had almost panicked, not ready for the confrontation. She hadn’t even gotten herself a drink yet, hadn’t even smoked yet and here you were. You were wearing a white bikini and it looks so pretty against your soft skin. She was looking at your tits again.

Ah, shit.

“Ellie! M’so happy you came! I didn’t think I’d ever see you at one of these!” You all but squealed, throwing your arms around her neck and pulling your body taut against hers. Ellie didn’t have to look at Dina and Jesse to know that their eyebrows were practically in their hairline, taking in the scene in front of them. Your bikini top was damp still clearly having taken a dip in the pool earlier, along with the ends of your hair and she felt the wet triangles pressing damp spots into her own chest, your tits pressed up against her. You even had the nerve to let out a happy little ‘mmph’ moan as your body collided with hers. Were you really that happy to see her? God, if I had a dick right now, it would be rock fuckin’ hard. Thank fuck I don’t, Ellie thought— eyes opening again, not realising that she had squeezed them shut to suppress a moan when she’d hugged you back.

“Uh, yeah! Told you I’d consider it.” She tried to play it cool when she pulled back, taking in your giggly expression. You didn’t let go of her arm as you pulled away, and a waft of alcohol drifted through to Ellie’s nose, suddenly helping her understand the situation a little better. You were pretty drunk, but where was your boyfriend? Ellie scanned behind you, searching for his brunette mop only to be met with several dozens of them. Great. She felt a spike of anger in her chest again, violently protective. Who just leaves their girl wandering around in a bikini, drunk, at a frat party? “Wheres your little boyfriend?” Her expression flattened out, and she caught herself. She didn’t mean for it to come out like… that. Luckily, you were drunk enough to not notice the bitterness in her tone.

“Louis? Oh— uh…” Your bottom lip stuck out as you spun around on your tiptoes to see over heads, scanning the yard for him before spinning back with a shrug. You dropped back down onto the balls of your feet and your tits bounced in Ellie’s peripheral vision. “Who knows.” You giggle, eyes jumping to Ellie’s two friends, silently watching with amused smirks.

“Oh, uh— these are my friends. Dragged me along here. Dina,” She pointed. “And Jesse.” He gave you a little wave.

“Hi!” You chirped with an adorable little wave, before telling them your own name. “I’m not usually this…uh—”

“Drunk?” Ellie leant forward quietly with a smirk, like it was a secret just between the two of you. You giggled, turning back to her, introductions long forgotten as your face morphed into a theatric pout, blown out puppy dog eyes and all.

“Who says I’m drunk? Maybe I’m just really friendly.” You practically pur, suggestiveness dripping off your tone as your hand pulled her by her arm just that little bit closer, soft fingertips over her tattoo. Just as Ellie scrambled for an answer — your name was called in a familiar voice. Louis.

“Babe, there you are.” He sounded irritated, and Ellie straightened her back, jaw squaring ever so slightly. Be friendly, Ellie. He’s a customer — she remind herself. A shitty one, but he still pays you.

“Oh…” He took Ellie in, eyes jumping over her attire before glancing back at you. She just admit, she did look violently lesbian that day — and the body language between her and his girl wasn’t looking all too great to fresh eyes. “Hey.”

You reluctantly let go of Ellie’s arm, which didn’t go unnoticed by the brunette boy.

“I was just catching up with Ellie!” You grinned, and God — were you aware of just how flirtatious you looked batting your eyelashes up at her like that? In front of your boyfriend?

“Yeah, I see that.” Louis’ eyes didn’t leave Ellie’s, which of course she took as a competition without even thinking. She took a step closer, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. She stood around 5’7. Taller when she wore boots. Taller if she fixed her posture. He wasn’t much taller than her, so she pretty much met his eye. Her heart skipped a few beats knowing you were watching her, but she held his gaze anyway— tilting her chin up a little. “Thanks for looking after my girl.” He spoke, which almost made Ellie want to laugh.

“Any time.” Eye to eye, the smirk that tugged at her lips held more meaning and the two of you knew it. Oh, she’d look after you alright. Louis’ eyes flickered away, glancing over at Dina and Jesse before back to her, stepping away and putting an arm around your shoulder.

“Come watch me play beer pong?” He spoke to you and you shrugged happily, taking the drink out of his hand and sipping. The freckled dealer couldn’t help but briefly think about how if you were with her she would have cut you off by this point, wrapping an arm around your waist and telling you that you’d had enough to drink, maybe suggest grabbing you a water. As he lead you away, you craned in his hold to wave at Ellie, who waved a few fingers back— watching closely. It was a casual crush before, but now it was on. She didn’t like Louis’ smugness, nor his general attitude or the way he was neglecting you. She had to take you and leave him with nothing. No, Ellie. You’re being like him. She’s not a piece of meat. But she knew the protectiveness didn’t stem from that. Did she think about you sexually? Yeah. But she could give you more than that. You were a sweet girl, and you should be treated as such.

“That was tense.” Dina raised her eyebrows, breaking the auburn haired girls concentration, her gaze snapping back to her friends.

“Oh, uh — he’s fuckin’… weird. I dunno. I give him my shitty weed.” She shrugged it off, looking over her shoulder once more to watch you disappear inside.

“I get it now, though. She’s a total smoke show.” Dina dropped her hand onto Ellie’s shoulder who sighed, shaking off the whole interaction.

“Whatever. I need a drink.” Ellie rolled her eyes, stepping away.

“She was hot.”

“Jesse, it’s okay when I say it. Not when you say it.”

“What? You just called her a smoke show! You’ve never called me that.”

Ellie left the bickering couple behind to find a beer, needing something cool and alcoholic to wind her down. Why was she getting so possessive over someone that wasn’t hers? You were making her feel like a creep, and she didn’t like that. Ellie did not catch feelings easily, despite her past mistakes. So like… what the fuck?

She didn’t see you for two weeks.

Maybe you’d realised you shouldn’t be giving her the eyes. Maybe Louis stepped up his game, who knows. Neither of you had even purchased any weed, and it was approaching exam season so Ellie knew you were stressed. But did she know? Was it presumptuous of her to ‘know’ how you feel?Just based off several occurrences and conversations when you’d come to her dorm to pick up? She tried to shake the feeling of you, your skin grazing hers and your pretty eyes staring up at her — and it was actually working. Maybe time does heal everything. Until of course, she went to the library and the clocks reversed on themselves.

She had to admit, she was falling a little behind in her work. She had gotten so preoccupied in selling that she had almost forgotten to be, well… a student. Her backpack was making her shoulder sore so she switched it to the other as she wandered through the building, fairly quiet for a Tuesday. She felt a pit of irritation bud inside her when she saw someone sat in the seat she wanted, the one that was away from everyone else in the library. She note the pink laptop case, the Hello Kitty stickers on the water bottle, the bracelets on the protruding arm. Oh, it was you.

Ellie was planning to walk on by. You’re here to do work, not flirt or get yourself involved in some kind of sapphic shenanigan. Your head was on the desk, and she figured you had fallen asleep — which almost made her smile fondly before she caught herself. Not yours, Ellie. As she stepped away however, she heard a sniffle. Then another. Ellie froze, willing herself not to do it. It’s not your responsibility Ellie, you can walk away and pretend you never saw. She pursed her lips, turning around anyway.

As she did so, you were lifting your head from the table, wiping your cheeks and nose of tears. You had this pitiful pout on your face, streaming eyes all pink and glossy and your nostrils damp in this oddly adorable way. Ellie still had time to creep away, but she didn’t. She couldn’t.

“You uh… you good?” She stood awkwardly, making you snap your head towards her in surprise. She didn’t miss the way your eyes widened slightly in embarrassment at seeing a familiar face in such a vulnerable moment.

“Oh — Ellie. Um, yes. I’m fine.” You tried, but when you held her doubtful gaze — your lip wobbled again.

“Okay.” Ellie sighed after a beat, pulling up a seat and dragging it to your small table. Yep, she was doing this. “Talk to me.” She spoke in a hushed tone. She was so gentle with her voice and her eyes and her general demeanour — something you weren’t so used to — it soothed you enough to calm you for a moment and you revelled in the unfamiliar but warm feeling she brought you.

“I don’t wanna bore you with it.” You shook your head with an demure chuckle. Ellie wanted to reach forward and wipe your tears away, her hands itched on the table in-front of her instead.

“We’re literally in the library. I promise you that nothing is more boring than my text-book.” She raised an eyebrow with the attempts of making you laugh. Instead, you watched her for a moment. Ellie could tell you were wondering why she was being so nice to you. Does she treat all her customers this way?

“It’s… stupid. Louis just…” You sigh, as if the mere mention of his name makes you cringe. “We’re not that serious. So… I don’t care what he goes off and does in his spare time,” Interesting, Ellie noted. “But he gets really mad. And when he gets mad he gets mean. I guess I just need thicker skin.” Your voice cracked.

“Or you need to be with someone who’s not an asshole.” Ellie snipped before she got the chance to stop herself. Your eyes met hers again, a little wide in shock. “Sorry.” She closed her eyes, collecting herself. You blinked and two fat tears rolled down your cheeks.

“It’s… okay.” You whispered, playing with your bracelet. A silence sat between you two, just the sound of quiet shuffling in the library and your sniffs.

“Look, don’t let him get to you. You don’t… deserve that.” She shook her head and you nodded slowly, accepting. It was as if Louis were purposely giving her more reason to dislike him, and it was getting harder to hide her distaste for him. Snide comments were slipping out more frequently, Shit — she could barely even contain her facial expressions when his name was mentioned. Something had to be done soon, because she didn’t know how much ‘pretending’ she had left in her. Thankfully, the two of you seemed to have developed a bit of a friendship — so she felt less guilty about bashing your boyfriend, as you seemed understanding due to his often unlikeable ways.

“You done here soon?” Ellie looked around at the library. You wiped your cheek, hitting save on your laptop and shrugging.

“Didn’t really have any work to do, just didn’t know where to go.” You pout sadly, making Ellie have to dig her nails into her seat this time so that she didn’t lean forward and kiss it off you.

“Y’wanna smoke? On me. You need cheering up.” She stood up, swinging her backpack back on, studying long forgotten. You looked up at her hopefully, a glint of reluctance in your eye. You didn’t know why it felt wrong, you weren’t technically doing anything wrong. Just two friends hanging out, right? Louis wouldn’t know that you’re attracted to her. You wasn’t even sure if Louis remembered that you were bisexual for Gods sake, despite telling him a whole bunch of times.

“Really? I can pay you Ellie…” Your eyebrows knit together, and she was already shaking her head.

“My treat. I don’t like seeing pretty girls cry. Makes me wanna cry. You want me to cry?” She joked, pointing at herself in disbelief. She felt relief at the giggle that made its way out your throat, covering your mouth as to not disturb the other library goers. Pretty girls. The words echoed around your head until your face was hot before it dropped into your stomach and made a nest there.

“Okay.” You agreed after a moment. What harm could it do? Louis was an asshole, and the guilt began to slip away as you stood up — remembering all the nasty things he’d said to you.

“Alright, good.” Ellie grinned, turning her face away for a moment so maybe you wouldn’t see how excited she was. You did.

_

“Thats a terrible first high story.” You giggled, taking a draw from the joint.

“What? Fuck you let’s hear yours then!” Ellie gaped, leaning forward from her seat on her bed to take the joint from you as you exhaled. You bit back your smile, letting your pink, watery eyes sail off in thought at you recalled your first time smoking.

“Kay, so… I was 17.” You staged dramatically, widening your eyes slightly as she smirked at your theatrics, leaning back with her eyes glued to you. If you weren’t so blazed, maybe you’d feel nervous under her simmering gaze. “Best friends brother let us smoke some in the backyard with his friends. I tried to play it cool, but I smoked too much and start laughing and I couldn’t stop. Like — it was painful, and I was scared because I couldn’t stop laughing. And they were all looking at me like what the fuck… so I went inside, tried to calm myself down and I threw up on the carpet. Like a distressed cat.” You pouted lightheartedly as Ellie chuckled along with your story.

“Threw up? How strong was the weed? Damn.” She laughed and you shook your head.

“It might have been the shots we’d done before hand to calm our nerves. Bad idea.” You cringed and she nodded, eyes still piercing into you as her laughter died down.

“That might’ve been it, yeah.”

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as she brought the joint to her lips once again, sucking in as she inhaled the pungent smoke. Ellie always got this confidence about her when she smoked. Well — she always had this slightly cocky demeanour about her, but for the most part it was an act. A need to protect herself. A defence mechanism that helped her get by — being a dealer was a social ass job. But smoking made that feeling real. She knew that was bad, relying on weed for real confidence and all, but hey — she’ll take what she can get.

“How you feeling? Any better?” She tested the waters, almost sorry she brought it up when you remembered Louis’ existence, expression melting a little into one of slight disappointment. One that said ‘Oh yeah… him.’ Like you’d forgotten for a moment.

“I guess. Not gonna let it bother me like you said. I don’t have the energy.” You shrugged, tearing your gaze away to study your baby pink manicure instead. Ellie scoffed out a little chuckle, finally stubbing out the joint. The noise attracted your attention and you met her analytical stare.

“Can I… ask what you see in that guy? Not judging just… curious.” She held her hands up in defence, but you didn’t exactly jump to his rescue. Infact it took you a moment to think about it.

“I don’t…” You stop yourself from saying ‘I don’t know’, your pride still burning despite the weed letting your guard down. “He’s… nice most of the time. Kinda guy your parents want you to bring home. He’s not as bad as he seems around other people. I guess he makes me feel wanted when we’re together?” You consider, but the way you say it makes Ellie think that you don’t even fully believe it. “I think… it was gonna be just sex. When I first met him anyway, but if I’m being totally honest the sex isn’t worth it on its own so I dunno… I thought I’d feel more fulfilled by a commitment, you know?”

Ellie was delighted, to be honest. It was music to her ears. You were just spewing about how unfulfilled you were, and she was starting to feel more and more confident that she could convince you that there was a bigger and better world out there. She laughed, openly — letting the joy of the moment go to her head for a minute.

“Oh that’s funny?” You giggled back, chucking a small brown sentimental looking teddy bear at her from her bed. You pursed your lips and she could tell despite your laughter you were knocked slightly insecure by her reaction.

“A little.” She looks off to the side. You want to chuck something else at her but there’s nothing to throw.

“Why?” You push. You know why.

“Your boyfriend can’t fuck.” Her stomach tensed as another laugh bubbled up and you rolled your eyes theatrically, pushing yourself up just so you can dramatically change your position to face the other way on the bed, arms crossed and brow creased.

“Not opening up to you again.” You push out and she nudges you gently with her foot, a more sympathetic (yet equally amused) expression still at the surface.

“No, I’m sorry. Go on.” She waved her a hand a little in the smoky room, nudging you again with her sock covered toe.

“Thats it! There’s nothing else to it. My boyfriend can’t fuck and it sucks. I hate everything.” You complain, not daring to face her. She can’t help but burst out laughing again, the back of her head leaning back to rest on the wooden headboard as she runs a hand over her eyes, shielding herself from the bright dorm light, and you. She lets out an ‘ahhh’ at the end of her outburst.

She hears you whine her name, and she takes more pity on you this time purely because you sound so cute.

“Alright uh— tell me what he’s doing wrong. I’ll give you pointers to give to him so he can fix his shit.” She tries suddenly, as if just being struck by the idea — and she feels you slowly look at her. She pushes her chin down to her chest, looking at you now as she removes her hand from her eyes. You blink at her a couple of times, still pretty, still high as a kite.

You inhale through your nose, eyes drifting off in thought as you turn back towards her, invested, tucking your feet beneath your ass. You hum, coming up blank. “I don’t know. I feel like… you either got it or you don’t, you know? Sex is… emotional. Well, it should be. To him it’s just… getting off.” You shrug, opting to pick at a loose thread on her grey bed throw than look at her. The smirk is still dying on her lips like the slither of sunlight resting on water at the culmination of a sunset. She takes a little longer to think, brain fogged by her high.

“So… okay.” She pushes her palms into the bed to sit up a little more. “What do you like? I don’t really pin you as someone who… wants to be in control.” She analyses, watching you carefully for a reaction. She notices the flick up of your eyebrows and guesses — correct.

“With him there’s no… no one is in control. It’s not one person calling the shots or any kind of dynamic it’s just… we just fuck and that’s it.” You sound sad this time, like bringing the conversation to forefront was making you realised just how unhappy you were.

“Do you cum?” She asks abruptly, and you nearly choke on your own saliva. You think it catches her off guard too, because she looks away from you for a moment and itches her head before deciding fuck it, and goes back to staring. You bite your lip. Well there was that one time, you were on your back — Louis on top, you had a hand pressed between the two of you, rubbing your clit in quick sloppy circles as he got busy. Your eyes were closed. Did you cum? Kind of? Your eyes were closed. You were somewhere else. Somewhere softer and warmer, and it didn’t smell like beer and sweat. You shake your head, no. It was the closest time though, but Louis got all hostile about you touching yourself during sex. Said it was insulting, that you undermined him. You shook off the memory.

“No?” She whispers, eyebrows raised to the high heavens as if she just couldn’t fathom having sex and not making her partner cum — because that’s exactly what she was doing. She felt that hot tingling anger again in her chest, but it was dulled out by the weed — leaving her with just a light irritation at the back of her throat. “Thats fucked up.”

“Is it? I mean… orgasms take time. Doesn’t just happen in five minutes… that can get exhausting.” You defend, and you’re not sure why. You both know there’s no excuse.

“Nah.” She sniffs, not quite bothered to begin on how wrong you are. She switches the subject slightly instead. “So let me guess, missionary everytime?”

Your eyes widen, pressing your fingers over your lips to stop the childish giggle from bursting out. Ellie’s eyes widen too, realising how, well — down bad she was acting. She felt like a teenage boy on Snapchat playing truth or dare asking an uninterested girl if she’d ever send nudes before.

“Uh— fuck, you don’t have to answer that. Just making conversatio—”

“Most of the time. I think…” You decide to share something to make her feel less invasive, not wanting the conversation to end. You actually enjoyed getting to talk someone about this. “I think I’d feel good on top, maybe. But, hmm. How do I put this?” You thought. You looked at her for a moment and she gazed back, waiting on you to continue. Her breath caught in her throat when you crawled up toward her. “Lay back, please?” It was a request, not a command — and Ellie thought she might be dreaming when you straddled her with a frustrated expression.

You settled, and she was hyper aware of the feeling of your pillowy ass dropped down onto her thighs over her warm crotch.

“Okay, say I’m here. In this position.” You explain as well as you can, and when you give a few demonstrative bounces on her phantom cock her hands instinctively land on your hips to steady you. Fuck. Fucking shit. You don’t even seem to notice, or care. “This,” You point at your position. “Is me being in charge and… I don’t want that. It— it doesn’t get me off. I don’t wanna feel like I’m dominating them.” You whisper the last part like you’re telling her a secret at a girly sleepover, and she catches herself grinning before she scrambles, running over what you just said in her brain.

“Wait. Nah, that’s…” She adjusts herself slightly sheepish because she can feel herself blushing. Be cool, Ellie. Be dominant. “Thats bull. It doesn’t matter what position you’re in, it’s about how you make them feel.” She shrugs, and when you continue to stare at her, pink, glossy wide eyes— she carries on, you requiring more explanation. “If you’re on top working overtime, he should be telling you what a good job you’re doin’. How pretty you look doin’ it.” Her voices rasps in the way it does when she gets horny and she hopes she’s not giving herself away. Your mind goes a little blank, succumbing to the daydream of receiving that kind of praise. It makes your skin feel clammy. Louis isn’t below you in your daydream. Your freckled friend breaks your trail of thoughts. “And,” She’s smug now, and raises her knees behind you, planting her feet down on the bed and thrusting upwards a few times making you bounce a little, gripping her tighter. “Doesn’t matter if you were on top. I could still be the one fucking you. Just like this.”

You pause, only because you’re frozen in fear that she can feel the sudden floodgates open between your legs— praying to every God imaginable that you don’t leave some kind of pathetic wet patch on her. She thinks you’ve frozen at what she’s said.

“Uh— I mean Louis. Louis could still be the one— yeah.” She shrugs off, squeezing your hips with her warm fingers and you’re suddenly aware of your compromising position again, shaken from a dream. You slide off her quickly, bringing your knees to your chest and your back to the cool wall beside her bed. You were not a cheater. It doesn’t matter that the two of you didn’t kiss, or fuck, or whatever — what would have happened if Louis had walked in and seen you in your very gay dealers lap, pretending to have sex? You were not a cheater.

Ellie’s mouth was agape, like she wanted to say sorry but just couldn’t find it in her to feel sorry enough to say it. Her eyes were worried however, worried she’d made you uncomfortable or pushed it too far.

“I should… I shouldn’t stay. It’s getting late and—” You started looking for your bag with your laptop in it, where did you put it again?

“I’m sorry I— I didn’t mean to be weird. That was… I made you feel—” Her tone was apologetic now.

“No, no. It’s not that. I’m just hungry and I get weird when I’m… when I haven’t eaten. You’re fine. I mean, you were fine. Nothing weird just… friends hanging out, right?”

It hurt her, but Ellie nodded anyway. You were going back to him. It always ended this way.

“‘Kay. You got everything? You gonna be okay getting back? You’re still high.” Ellie stood, awkwardly dawdling behind you as you scooped up your purse. “I can walk you back—” She started patting her pockets for her key card.

“It’s okay, really. It’s still light outside and it’s a short walk. I think I need just… fresh air and quiet.” You avoid her eyes, but turn to face her as you back towards her door.

“Okay.” She was disappointed. “I hope you feel better now, ‘n stuff.” Your hand pushed the cold metal handle down and the hallway of her building was just as muggy, but it felt like a relief when some of the smoke from her dorm was released.

“I do.” You could look now, standing in the hallway as she didn’t move past her doorway. The distance made it safe enough to look at her pretty eyes without feeling you were going to do something bad. “Thank you Ellie. I owe you one.” Your brows knit together sincerely. Sure, I have a favour I need — break up with your boyfriend.

“Sure.” Ellie left it there, shook her head like it was nothing. “Text me and just… let me know that you got in okay. Yeah?” She continued to speak to you as you backed up down the hallway, awkwardly fumbling with your bag. It was wrong to let a girl walk back home high and alone. She thought about you walking around drunk and alone at that frat party. She was Louis this time.

“Will do. See you, Ellie.” Her name sounded like music when you said it. She had a new favourite song.

Your dorm was cooler, refreshing to be in when you got back. Your first mission was to look in the mirror and you sighed almost angrily seeing how flustered and a little dishevelled you look. You wanted to take the clothes off that touched her, still stinking of weed. You wanted food in your belly to flush her out. Flopping onto your back on your bed you pull your phone out, ignoring the texts and calls from your boyfriend — all to send a message to your dealer.

‘got back safe, thanks again😊’ You regret the emoji, but the Read: 5:13PM was immediate so there was no time to regret it for long. Three bubbles and then ‘Good’. You stare at the text, and then stare past the phone. You didn’t want to answer Louis right now. He could wait until tomorrow.

part two

[purpleph4se]

devotion

armand x reader

warnings | smut, afab!reader, dom armand, fingering, praise, possessiveness, one mention of cheating sorta kinda? (we all know louis and armand’s relationship i mean would u call it cheating if it was open idfk)

a/n | 70s armand save me, save me 70s armand. so i finished iwtv in the span of one week and i can say i forgive armand for all his crimes, he’s just a girl <3 there is such a devastating lack of fics for my botticelli angel im here to mend that !!! i know i made that little post a while ago and i finally finished the fic i hope yall enjoy <3 crossposted on my ao3

“show me,”

his voice was a purr loud enough just for you to hear. you sat between his legs, chest pressed against the handsome stranger you met at the bar who managed to lure you into his home. “please yourself for me..” he usually doesn’t play with his food but the sight of your lips hung open, and the sound of your moans, he couldn’t help himself.

mesmerized by his voice, you trail your hand over your clothed sex finding the fabric had been soaked through. you shift to slip them off, a twinge of embarrassment making your face burn. you forced your legs apart, your head lolling back onto armand’s shoulder as your hand glided through your slick cunt.

“just like that, my love, make yourself feel good for me,” he whispered as he traced the curves of your body, stopping right at the dip of your hips. his grip on you was firm, as his lips left warm kisses on your neck. his touch was so precise yet so desperate to feel as much as possible of you.

“pl-please, touch me” you begged between whimpers, your legs were trembling as you could feel pleasure starting to bubble up uncontrollably. it was so overwhelming to feel like he was devouring you with his eyes, and touch. his praises were like fire flowing throughout your body as he consumed every cell of your body.

he hummed at your words, the utter desperation that he could feel seeping out of you made him want to fuck you without restraint, but he denied himself just to torture you.

“just my fingers, nothing more..”armand offered, he felt you tremble in anticipation forcing his hard cock against your lower back. you craved to feel him inside you, and he knew. 

armands breath tickles your ear as he slides two of his fingers over your slit. you squirm a bit as he ghosts just over your clit, his voice mumbling something about you being dripping for him. 

“thank y-you,” whispered again as his fingers slowly traced your skin, until they reached your folds. you were pushed closer to him, so he could effortlessly reach your sopping cunt as he kissed the dip of your shoulder. he could devour you if he chose.

his skin was cold to touch as you laid against him. “so breathtaking” He murmured as his elegant fingers barely touched your clit, your hips buckled to meet him “so sensitive,”

when he finally dipped his finger in you, that’s when his facade cracked. the way your warmth enveloped his finger, swallowing it hungrily and clenching around it, made his breath hitch. if armand concentrated enough he could picture what you would feel around his cock.

your small whine of 'more' causes him to smile against the nape of your neck as he inserts a second finger. he drags them in and out of you, slowly and gently before increasing the power behind them.

his other hand kneaded your chest, he wanted to worship every inch of you. you, kind stranger, distracted him from the boredom that was his life, his partner once again enjoying a young vulnerable boy.

you gasp grabbing onto his forearm feeling your body bounce a little as he did so, he pulled his head back to look down at you— his golden eyes dilating in either love or something sinister, you couldn't tell. "that’s it beloved, taking me so well”, his fingers curling up to search for that particular spot you liked “like you were made for me..” you whined in agreement before letting out a sharp moan, there he thought, abusing that certain spot.

armand pumped his fingers into you relentlessly as his thumb rubbed circles on your clit. for just moment he didn’t care about anything but the way you begged him for more, the way you would tremble in his arms as he added another finger, the way you desperately chased your orgasm. he could feel the desire rushing through your veins.

your hands dragged up his body until the settled hooked behind his hand, pulling him closer as you felt a third finger gently split you open. your back arched, your chest hitting his as you felt that coil, that certain feeling in your stomach rise, ready to break.

"'m gonna cum— don't, don't stop, please please." you babbled, to which he listened, telling you to cum that he was right here for you. he pressed his lips against your jaw, the sweet kisses and soft worship a distinct contrast from his onslaught on your poor cunt. and then you heard him, like he was inside your head “cum for me”, armand invited you to let go of everything, to allow the ecstasy to eat you alive, and you did. ‘cumming', you repeated— his name being slurred as you called out to him, eyes shut tightly.

you were hit by everything all at once, your senses blurred as you could barely control your body. armand’s name was the only thing you whine out through the overwhelming pleasure that took over you. he burned the sight into his brain, warm juices coated his hand as he slowed his movements, still overstimulating you just a bit.

you slumped against his chest, your blissed out state warming his abnormally cold one, he didn’t let go of you. you were out of breath, you stayed like that for a moment before he glanced at his fingers.

your pleasure dripped all over his pads, down to his palm, and he couldn’t help but take a taste of you. he took his time savoring each finger like it was ambrosia.

"messy little thing.. let me clean you up."

[byooregard]

iwtv fanfic Friday: devils minion era (or close enough)

on display by thisisthefamilybuisness aka @officialclaricestarling; E, 3k.

Armand leans back in her chair and smirks. “There’s nobody here to notice if you absolutely must rut yourself against the seam of your slacks, Daniel; this is a private dining room. Given the sorry state of your thoughts, though, perhaps you’d prefer if I took a seat at the bar and sat you in my lap instead. It would only be fair, of course, every patron deserves a chance to see why I spend millions of dollars and so much of my time indulging you.”

i know a place we can go luminoussbeings aka @gaysie; M, 3k.

“—come out with me,” Daniel’s saying, and Armand blinks. “I know a place—better than this one, I’m telling you. Okay, fine, the drinks are terrible, but if you want to go out dancing—you’ll see. You’ll love it. Guarantee ya.” He smiles winningly, holds out his hand. No, Armand thinks. or: Daniel sees Armand with blood on his face from a kill, thinks he's just some poor abused twink, and decides he needs to show him a good time

cranefucker island circa ‘82 by katplanet; E, 22k

“You doing all right?” Daniel asks him. Armand blinks. “No,” he says. “Most honest you've been with me since I got here,” Daniel says. And then, because it seems like the thing to do, “I can clear out, if you need the place to yourself.” “Whatever you prefer.” Armand's lips look chapped. Dehydration? He ate the kid with the sunglasses, but the smear he left took a lot of bleach to scrub away. Maybe Daniel should - “You won't be harmed,” Armand says, “regardless of your decision.” “You got served divorce papers so hard it left a crater,” Daniel says, “and you're still poking around in people's heads.”

little kidnaps in the dark | End OTW Racism by gaypiratedivorce; M, 150k

The first memory is only the first memory, the first crack —after the dam finally breaks, Daniel tries to make sense of the past unraveling itself in his mind. While continuing to thread the story of Louis's life, he attempts to untangle the questions of his own. But Armand offers no answers, and Louis gives him no straightforward ones. As their histories weave together and the line between journalism and personal chronicle disappears from sight, Daniel struggles to figure out who they were then, what they've become, and why exactly he's been summoned to Dubai.

it's a rollercoaster kinda rush by exastris_scientia aka @keepoffthetardis; E, 5k

He writes more over the next three months than he has in the last year, and he even gets paid for some of it. Not as much as before, but, y’know. He can keep his apartment, so it’s not like he’s complaining. He goes to bed early, gets up late, and actually learns how to cook something edible for once in his life. He’s not even using. It’s normal. It sucks so bad and he’s so fucking lonely. Daniel gets fired from the San Francisco Chronicle and discovers all roads lead not to Rome, but to Armand.

couldn't trust myself to proceed with caution by extrasis_scientia aka @keepoffthetardis; E, 6k.

When he opens the door, Daniel looks up from his drink. Almost every feature on his face has been changed by the twenty years between them and their last goodbye. Every one, that is, except for his eyes. They’re shielded by handsome-looking wire-frame glasses now, but they’re still as blue and sharp as they were the night they met. Their eyes lock, and Armand is astonished to discover all at once that he’s still angry. “You must be Mr. Molloy,” he manages through lips nearly numb. As if he feels nothing at all, Daniel holds out a hand. “Mr. Molloy’s my father. Call me Daniel.” Armand seeks Daniel out in 2003 and gets quite a bit more than he bargained for.

[strawbs-screaming]

what i think your favorite PO boxer says about you

based on my biases and a year of experience (if you get mad over how i talked about your fave im going to turn you into a can of spam)

first time ive ever maxed out the tags

if i missed your fav tell me ‼️

doc louis - you have good taste and are starving for content about him, you really are a survivor

little mac - you either project onto him or just like calling him your son

glass joe - you have a thing for pathetic men (understandable tbh) and like calling him a wet cat since he fits that desc well

von kaiser - same thing as joe but add a hint of "oh no hes hot"

disco kid - you literally have no enemies i love you so much its not even funny (platonic)

king hippo - my god you are good at making up lore, how the fuck do you make a solid personality for a character that only roars and grunts

piston hondo - im 100% youre a saint, no hondo fan i met has ever been unpleasant to talk with

bear hugger - you either see him as a father figure or just think hes hot or (secret third option) you like making jokes about him being a disney princess, either way youre cool

great tiger - oh you have been here for a long time, literally every great tiger fan i know has been in the fandom since 7.000 BC or something, also youre prob really good at art

don flamenco - you use the word "cunty" on a daily basis or just like making fun of his stupid bald head, also yes he has eyeliner on 100%

aran ryan - you'd overthrow a goverment for this greasy rat, youre extremely extremely gay and/or neurodivergent and thats very good for you, you also like making him say lad and have had to go ankle deep in irish slang when making him speak in fanfics

soda popinski - ive never seen someone have soda as their fav, hes always 2nd place somehow so im just gonna go take a shot in the dark and say you like the color pink (mental gymnastics who??)

bald bull - you are a mixed bag, i gen cant put a finger on what kind of personality bull stans have but i can say you either find him hot or like making fun of him, maybe both

super macho man - least serious people ever with some traumatizing lore for the boxers & their own ocs, you prob make him say bogus 88268292 times in a sentence and i can respect that

mr sandman - ive only seen 2 (two ) ppl who have him as their fav and its kinda sad, youre starving for content of him and i wish you the best

birdie mac - hes your son (im not elaborating)

gabby jay - same thing as joe but you went over the top with liking dilfs

narcis prince - gay. gay gay homosexual gay. you went for the self obsessed blonde twink and you thought it wasnt obvious?? you fucking homosexual

heike kagero - youre 1000% queer, sorry to be a broken record about the gay thing but ur fav is literally a man with long hair & makeup that has to be some flavor of queer

hoy quarlow - you are/were another ancient punch out fan, you def shitpost a lot

bruiser bros - where are you??? ive gen never met a bruiser bros fan and its concerning like dude where did u go

texas mac - im sorry but you dont exist, ive never ever seen a texas mac fan, not even someone who mentions him

mad clown - you foul clownfucker. you have weird taste in characters you find hot and tbh im all here for it

masked muscle - same thing as texas mac but theres a slight chance you exist, if you do please show yourself

dragon chan - another punch out ancient fan, you probably were most active in 2013-2019 and kinda miss old shitposts and have either moved on or dont participate much anymore

spo aran - (this is mostly for Charlie but i have hope that theres some other spo aran fans out there) youre probably looking for other spo aran fans, goodpeed soldier, goodpeed

mask x - you arent getting away with this fuck you

[blair-the-juggalho]

Hello!! I absolutely love your TWDG writing. And I have been having a bad day bc my tooth broke and I'm stressed -_-

Could you possibly make a "TWDG S4 characters when a bubbly Y/N is upset/sad"? ^_^

Hey yeah ofc! And I’m so sorry I hope your day gets better lovely :(

Also I did this as platonic lmk if ya want me to redo it idm! 😭

Another sorry if there’s any spelling mistakes it’s half three am and I’m tired

Also side note, sorry I’ve been like gone a lot of stuff happened and I lost intrest in the game but it’s kinda coming back I’m just getting use to writing again so if this sucks I’m SO SORRY 😭😭😭💖💖💖

TWDG S4 characters when a bubbly Y/N is sad

Violet

She’d find you a bit strange and would tease you but in honesty she loves how bubbly you are

Whenever life gets her down all she has to do is spend some time around you and she feels better

She notices instantly when you’re upset tho and will give it a few minutes before coming up to you

“Hey. What’s up? Why are you all depressed?”

But fr tho that’s her job 😞 LMAO SORRY

But you’ll open up to her and she silently nods along

Whatever it is she gets it

“Yeah…it sucks sometimes…”

She won’t say much but she offers to go somewhere more private so you two can chill and just complain to each other

She’s not all that good at comfort but she’d really try

When your back to normal she’d have a small smile on her face

“Ya happy again now?”

She’d be a bit upset if you’d want to go right back to being around everyone else but she’d join you anyway cuz she’s just happy to see you smile again

Mitch

He doesn’t really get it I mean how can anyone be happy living like this? I mean sure it’s manageable at times but it still sucks

He’d never on his life say it but he does secretly enjoy how happy you are even if he’d tease you for it

When he sees you upset tho I’m so sorry but this man is useless here

He doesn’t notice at first but after Willy or someone points it out he picks up on it and worries a bit

However he just hopes you cheer up on your own and doesn’t say anything

But he does watch out for you in the corner of his eye

He just assumes if it’s really bad you’ll come to him

Cuz he won’t come to you unless your both alone

When you do tell him what’s up he’s still not very helpful

“Damn…that sucks..”

He does care he’s just rubbish at showing it

He will let you stay with him but be warned you’ll both be sat in silence if you’re not in a talking mood

But when you do cheer up he’s relived

again, not that he’d voice it

“Happy again huh?”

Marlon

Marlon finds you to be a breath of fresh air, he always has a gentle smile on his face when your around

He’s happy that you can bring the others up too cuz a happy group is a good group yk

Plus you keep him calm too

So when he sees his usual happy friend down in the dumps he’s very confused

What happened to you?

He watches you for a bit then walks over to you and asks if you’re ok and if ya wanna talk

Hell take you up to the office and will listen to you explain why your upset

He listens and offers some advice and comfort

He’ll let you stay with him for a bit and if you like dogs yk he’ll get rosy to give you some comfort hugs and all

He just has normal conversations with you and will say that he hopes you cheer up soon cuz what would they all do without your positive ways

When you cheer up he’ll have a big smile and if your ok with it he’ll pull you in for a hug and definitely does that back pat and rub (yk the that you do to a friend or family to either be like heyy! Or ok that’s enough now)

Louis

HELLO YOUR BASICALLY THE ONLY OTHER PERSON THEIR WHO CAN MATCH HIS ENERGY

Like he needs to see you all happy and lively because that makes him more happy and lively too!

And this mf he instantly knows when you’re down and he will come up to you and just say “aww what’s wrong (name)? You gotta turn that frown upside down!” He might even pull an over the top sad face too

Depending on what kinda person you are this either kind of works or makes it so much worse

If he does realise that he’s not helping he panics a bit like

“Oh no- they really are sad…what do I doooooo?? This is badddd…”

He’s not all that good in serious situations and will try healing you with comedy and laughter

He’ll tell jokes, tease the others at Ericsson’s

Anything to cheer you up

Heaven forbid the moment you actually do cuz this mans energy is amplified by 100

“is that a smile I see?? So mx grumpy finally cheered up? Ha well it seems I’m just the best at curing sadness.” He acts all cocky but he’s just joking

He’s very pleased to see ya back to your regular self again

Aasim

Aasim always found it curious how someone so happy could exist in a world like this

But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it

He can’t match your energy but he does support your cheerful ways

He won’t voice it but you do cheer him up when he’s having a bad day

he notices when you’re upset very quickly n all it’s very obvious lmao

He’ll give it a few minutes but after a while he’ll cave and awkwardly walk over to you

“So…you ok? You seem upset…”

You tell him what’s up and he listens

He either gives you advice or will empathise with you saying he gets it

He just kinda silently sits next to you cuz he doesn’t really know what to say

You both just kinda sit around for a while

he won’t really offer it out loud but he doesn’t mind giving you a hug if it will cheer you up

He just waits for you to feel better and is thankful when you do

(Sorry but damn this man I just can’t imagine he’d be much help here that sounds horrible Ik ik 😞)

Omar

This man is grateful that you’re the way you are even if he doesn’t voice it a lot

He’s also a silent observer so when he saw you where upset he just quietly watched you

I think he either doubts how good he is at comforting or he’s too preoccupied but he’ll still watch you for you

He’s kinda hoping it’s just a off day and you’ll perk up again in a while

He waits to see if anyone else will check up on you or if you’ll come to him

But if enough time has passed and both of those didn’t happen he’ll slowly make his way over to you

He doesn’t say much but he listens to you

The few times he does speak it’s either reassurance or advice

He will stay with you for as long as he can and if he had to start cooking again he’d let you stand next to him while he does so

When you cheer up again he wont say much but he has a smile on his face

Ruby

Ruby fully appreciates your bubbly ways and she will usually match your energy when she can

She really thinks you totally brighten up Ericssons!

But today you were acting totally different and she could just sense it

Like there was a shift in the air she just picked up on before she even saw you

Since she gives me like mother friend vibes she totally instantly goes over to ya

Are you ok hun? Ya seem down? What’s happened? Do ya need some space?

She’s there and she will listen to ya 100%

She does whatever she can to be supportive and she might tell a few rubbish puns to make you smile again

She’ll get all protective of ya too like if anyone tries to annoy ya (which I doubt anyone would but yk just incase) she will get so mad at them she’s shout at them and scold them so much

She’ll either stay by you till you cheer up or will give you the space if you need it but the moment she sees that smile she loves so much and that cheery personality she adores she’s matching that happy face

Brody

This girl loves how bubbly you are it’s such a nice change of pace from the usually rubbish day to day apocalypse life

You don’t know how much you can cheer her up and make her feel more relaxed

So she was super quick to notice that you where sad

Huh that’s (name), why arn’t they all happy?? Where’s that lovely smile gone??

I don’t think she’d straight away ask if you where ok cuz maybe you needed some space? I mean it’s normal to get upset now a days but this isn’t like you

She’d ask the others like Marlon if they noticed that you’ve done a total 180

She’d still stay put but keeps a close eye on you and after a few minutes of watching you mope around she’d walk up to you and ask if you where ok

After you tell her what’s got ya so bummed out she’d do anything to get that smile back

She’d listen to you, give you advice if you wanted it, she’d give you a hug literally anything!

She’d also try to distract you by planning some made up road trip (a beach trip if I remember correctly??)

She needs to see her friend go back to their bubbly self 😞

Once you do cheer up she just sighs in relief man she’s happy you’re back to normal lmao

[lackey-of-louis-du-point-du-lac]

Although I've put some distance over fan discourse now because it's a lot and very buzz right now I actually can't stop thinking about the argument about Who Is The True Big Bad.

Though I once believed that they are all bad in their own respective degrees (leaving out the murder they all commit) I recently changed my mind.

Louis' story is a story at its core about a human who has been oppressed his whole life and struggles with his Morality even before the whole "you have to kill people to survive" thing started. Louis' story is about being human in a vampire's lifestyle. And it's understandable because he sees his world as a human and himself a monster.

Everyone defending Lestat saying what he did was fine or normal for a vampire aren't wrong. It is normal for him to act violently. It's their nature as Vampires. But it's also...wrong.

Lestat is the villain because we see it in a lens of a human. Louis will always be human so his horrors will always be leveled in terms of the humanity he clings to. The cheating, the screaming, the apathy to his family and business are everything everyone sees as a horror. A tragedy. Especially to Louis. He doesn't understand it. He fears it. And it hurts him.

Louis is a connection to the world and we can't fault him for being himself, for valuing his humanity.

But for Lestat Louis is kinda the villain in his story. Or better fitting his "Judas". In his own way Lestat clings to the parts of him that he desires to fulfil about himself. To be loved. Wanted and joined in a companionship. To be a monster without apology or shame. Louis does not fulfil this and it frustrated Lestat. He acts out. He doesn't understand that acting out or the way he does it is wrong. He acts towards Louis as if he's already a well versed vampire or someone who takes to vampirism well. He expects this from Louis when it isn't FAIR for him to do so since he knows, somewhat, how Louis thinks but this doesn't stop him.

And I know this is the point of the show but also now that I've understood the show a bit better over time Louis is Lestat's lover in the truest word. I think Lestat Loves Louis more than Louis does most of the time. Louis might be full of humanity than any other vampire out there but Lestat is filled with Love than any other vampire out there.

I always thought of Nikki as "the one who got away" but the more I learned about him, he was more of a tumble and stumble into love. Lestat loved him but he never really gave himself into Nikki as much. There are parallels between Louis and Nikki (which is a post for another day) that are obvious. But what really makes Louis and Nikki different is that Nikki was made and left. Once he got mad and guilty and depressed Lestat had left. When Louis got like that Lestat didn't leave and even when he did it was far. He knew that Louis was still home.

But I digress that's not the point. The point is that Louis out of all them is not a true victim but can't ever be a true villain. Louis is so human it hurts and so we are forced to see through the lens of defining good Vs evil through it because that's what he does to himself.

Yes they all do horrible things to others and to each other but out of all of them (Claudia aside because she's really the true victim as they took a lot of her own agency away from her) Louis is not as bad. I do not think he is. Of course this does not mean any of them deserve love any less.

I just think painting them as villains is not really encompassing them all but if we have to then Louis should not be the top and most hated one. If we have to judge them as villains I think that it won't do to judge them based on opinion but rather how much agency one had and what they reacted with. Along with that how much power and what they do with it.

[nalyra-dreaming]

So, are we thinking that the part in ep3 where Armand describes the dissolution of his previous coven, and Daniel notes "you let it happen", is foreshadowing for what's happening now? idk how true that previous account was - if it was really part of Armand's design to let his coven collapse, or if he just didn't care enough to put up a fight. But both times he used Lestat as a convenient scapegoat, and manipulated him by threatening his loved ones. These two situations aren't identical obviously, but I think the first one will be what tips Daniel off to Armand's true involvement in the trial. Assad said something about Louis possibly not knowing much about Les Innocents, and that Armand shared it rather carelessly with Daniel, thinking he had control over the narrative. So do you think this will be relevant?

Oh absolutely.

Armand... kinda holds onto what he has, until a new opportunity presents itself - be it for love, or otherwise.

That is of course grounded in his history, in being bought, abandoned, tortured, and brain-washed... he holds very tight onto that which he has.

But he recognizes chances, too, and he... tries to manipulate the events so they will end in what he wants.

That... doesn't always work, and he does end up hurting himself, too.

I find this way of going about things obviously not very healthy... but very understandable, given his history.

And the show has given him wonderful nuance already.

So yes. This will definitely be relevant at the trial. Because Armand... uses Louis to get rid of his coven there - and his coven, to get rid of Claudia.

[karereiko]

Moriarty the Patriot Musical op3 fanart set for Round-a-bout Rondo song part, translation from kanasmusings subs.

Do I need to say that I loved this part in op3? Well I wouldn't spend last 3 weeks on drawing this if that wasn't case. I was grinning like crazy and was amazed they did something like this when I saw it for the first time. Sherlock and William dancing apart yet together and singing this. While Sherlock is kinda pissed off because Lord of Crime was using him again for his plans he is still drawn to him. We knew how much he fell for his Liam in manga and now in morimu.

And William, oh William, while in manga Sherlock was important to him thought the story, we only know extent of it after his letter. And here strikes morimu that shows us William falling in love and showing how hard he also fell.

So for this fanart set I was going to make two pages like you see Sherlock dancing with imaginary William, William with imaginary Sherlock, and the 3rd one of the end of the song like they are dancing together.

In middle of song there is pause to show scene like Sherlock is like a puppet on Lord of Crime's strings I wanted to include that.

But if you think about it they both are on strings, even if Sherlock and William might not understand it or see it, Liam is on Sherly's strings too, strings of affection. While William doesn't let those strings to win over the Plan, he's still bound by them, just as much as Sherlock is bound by William.

For the first idea to draw I thought it would be cool, creepy and maybe little into horror if behind William his strings were getting cut by England people and Moriarty gang to illustrate "the Plan". If someone likes, you can use this idea, because for this set it didn't fit in the end (and it would take me probably another 2 weeks to do)

So there is no need to say that Sherlock strings are blue and William are red and with light of their colors falling on both of them I wanted to show their influence on each other too.

After this long story, I hope you will like it. I wanna do beach fanart next, but probably next month. For now I wanna finish other Moriarty stuff I have started and that beach fanart will probably take me some time too (damn coloring) and I'm yet decided if go for easy version with Liam, Sherly, Albert and Louis only or try to include more characters and this will be hard version that will took longer :/

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

(fascinated by the choices made between books and show so I gotta study them like bugs under a microscope. Spoilers for the whole show and the books)

Season 1 episode 6 [Like Angels Put In Hell By God] - part 1/2

- [Louis] "Excruciating pain was the proof I was still alive." - that's one way of confirming proof of life.

- [Daniel] "'He could fly?' [Louis] 'Yes.' [Daniel] 'Like Superman?' [Louis] 'Not like Superman. Superman is a fictional character.' [Daniel] 'But in the air, with a 'fuck you to Newtonian physics' flying?' [Louis] 'He said it was more like floating, arising at will, propelling in a direction by the decision. He called it the cloud gift.'"

Love how Louis is adamant in pointing the difference between Lestat and Superman: one's fictional, the other is very much real. No fiction here, no sir-e. And hello canon callback, the Cloud Gift.

- [Daniel]"That's the voice of Doctor Fareed Bhansali." - EXCUSE ME. WHAT. WHO. HOW. WHAT. Filed under things that mean nothing to the non-book readers but will make the book readers lose their minds.

- [Louis] "Are you still dreaming about our first meeting, Daniel?" - I'm gonna go ahead and say, yeah, from what we know of that meeting now, that's definitely the stuff of dreams. Bad dreams, that is.

- [Daniel] "Can you fly, Louis?" - helloooo PTSD.

- [Louis] "I suppose he thought if he exposed all his power to me, I would never feel his equal and the relationship would suffer." -… Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't that exactly what it came to be? Also, in book canon, Lestat doesn't like using the Cloud Gift. It's very tied in with Akasha and the abuse he goes through at her hands, and he resents that loss of control and bigger divide between him and humanity.

[Daniel] "'He only beat me the one time, Officer. It's not his fault.' Classic Stockholm, eh, Doc?" - still tripping over the fact that THAT'S Doctor Fareed, oh shit, 1, he's hot, 2, THAT'S FAREED BHANSALI. Oh, and also, Daniel is right and he should say it. But also he doesn't have all the facts, which are 1, we love Lestat, 2, one murder attempt kinda makes up for it, they're even now, and 3, "memory is a beast".

- [Louis] "Are we the sum of our worst moments? Can we be forgiven if we do not forgive others ourselves?" - THIS. I don't have more comments, just this, so much.

- Oof. Welcome to physical therapy. As a vampire, that must be excruciating.

- [Louis] "'If you ever wanna talk about what happened to you while you were gone, you know you can, right?' [Claudia] 'Uh-huh.' [Louis] 'Or you could just tell me his name, write it on a scrap of paper.' [Claudia] 'You gonna be my knight in vengeful black?' [Louis] 'I am the knight.'" >> 80 years later, "I own the night", we love character development when the seeds are planted from the beginning. And puns, we love puns too.

- [Lestat] "The Book of Hours, extremely rare, 15th century. Silver and gold in the vellum, palettes of blue and old rose." - I want that book so bad… Ahem. I mean, nope, forgiveness will not be bought by gifts, no matter how impressive or expensive.

- [Lestat] "Perhaps we should let him decide if he wants to see me or not." - I think the coffin flying out of the window is a very clear answer.

- You know what, I'm ready to incorporate in my belief system that Emily Dickinson is a vampire. After all, s2 already said Samuel Beckett is. Let's add the Brönte sisters to the list too. Not the Austens tho, I don't think so.

- I love how mature Claudia looks in that hairdo.

- [Lestat] "I'm nothing without both of you." - sweetie, you need to grow an independent self.

- [Louis] "For six years in all, these raw and desperate mea culpas came like the tide. And for six years, they were greeted with silence or fire. We burned more gifts than bodies in that decade, but they would not stop coming. And Lestat's relentless determination began to crack my considerable armor. Perhaps it was the modesty of the gesture. But in the spring of 1937, one broke through."

If they were real people, I'd say" girl, no, run, stop". But the beauty of fictional characters is that the more messed up, the more compelling, and I am on the edge of my seat getting ready for Lestat to come crawling back and for Louis to fall even harder.

- Aaaaaaaaaah, Lestat singing!!!! Rockstar Lestat wheeeeeeeeeeeeeen.

- [Louis] "The audacity of it all was matched only by its sincerity" - that's the definition of Lestat, that here.

- [Louis] "Six years of begging, you think a song's gonna get a rise out of me?" -… Babe, you just swam the Mississipi and broke down a door, I'd say he managed it.

Also, hello again, Sam Reid's training routine. Man, that chest.

[Louis] "Write me a song and put your lover's voice in it?" - I don't know if I wanna applaud Lestat's boldness or rip his heart out for his casual cruelty.

Sorry Antoinette, nobody ever holds a candle to Louis in Lestat's eyes…

- [Daniel] "'You took Lestat back.' [Louis] 'The vampire bond. There is no human equivalent.' [Daniel] 'Lover, murderer, maker. You took him back.' [Louis] 'It's a bond than can never be fully severed. A bond like that makes you believe there's only the two of you on the planet.'"

Daniel Molloy season 1: giiiirl he's abusive and violent and a cheating liar, why would you take him back?

Daniel Molloy season 2: never mind, better the guy who loves you and would have died to save you even though he's the one that broke you than the psycho besides you who's been lying for 80 years and is the reason your daughter's dead, I am now the number one Loustat defender.

Mate, same.

- I am absolutely mesmerised by Louis's eyes in this episode. Oh, boy, how is he so, so beautiful.

- "His name was Magnus. He took me from my room in Paris, as I kicked and screamed. He kept me for a week, locked in a room full of corpses - some freshly killed, some bloated and black. But they all looked like me - my coloring, my physique. My own eyes staring back at me from rotting faces. He fed on me every night. And then he put me back in the tower with the look-alike corpses. I thought for sure I'd be one of them, but instead he turned me into this. No grand history of vampiric origins or physiology, no rules, no counsel. Just a sweeping hand to a pile of money and the sight of him throwing himself into a fire. And then I was alone. I thought… 'I can't drink hot blood. I can't feed on others.' I cried. I called to God. I didn't want this. But I have a capacity for enduring. It's why I don't particularly like being abandoned."

Aah, this is such a fascinating moment. Lestat is trying so hard to remain impassive and neutral, but his voice wavers all through the story, and his gaze is distant and clouded when he recounts the worst parts, his fear, his loneliness. And then Louis looking at him with so much compassion and so much pain, fully empathising, and Claudia, even though she also feels some modicum of pity, immediately looking to Louis and seeing that he's fully back to loving Lestat, and for his sake, for his sake only, she agrees to Lestat coming back… Beautiful.

And then when you think about Lestat's origins as a vampire (and we haven't even touched on his human history because damn that part too is hard), enduring is really his main trait. He's a survivor. In every meaning of the word. Survivor of rape, because that's what his turning is, survivor of several types of abuse going back all the way to his childhood, survivor of his own demons,… As Louis said, are we the sum of our worst moments? In Lestat's case, I feel like the answer is clearly "no. We are the sum of how much we're trying. We mess up at times, we fail, we hurt each other - but we keep trying our best and we keep trying to stay true to ourselves and we make amends and we recognise our faults".

A pause, here. Breathe. And then onto part 2.

episode 1 | episode 2 | episode 3 | episode 4 | episode 5 | part 2 | episode 7

[louisisalarrie]

Hello love. I like sending you asks because you’re always great at responding. This one is a bit sensitive. Don’t post if not appropriate.

Louis and alcohol. You’ve worked with him and seen him a little more closely than most. Is he a massive drinker (like, every day) or is his alcohol consumption a little exaggerated? I’ve seen other posts referring to him as having a problem, which seems a cruel assumption when people don’t know the guy.

It looks to me like there’s a ton of boozing on tour (lots of stories from other artists who’ve worked with him confirm they all drink a lot when they’re all together) but L never looks as though he goes on stage p*ssed. He tends to have beer on stage with him but never drinks the whole thing (I kind of feel like it’s a bit of a nervous habit, to have a drink there he can grab but not to be necessarily knocking it back show). I mean he definitely looks like he drinks a lot post show but we never hear of him turning up to meet fans drunk or smelling of booze (and there dont seem to be any major boozy stories about him doing something bad because he was drunk - oh apart from breaking his arm!) so I’m on the fence about whether or not he does have unhealthy drinking habits or not. He seems pretty controlled and put together with the occasional post show drunken/stoned selfie!

What are your thoughts?

I guess I just want a healthy Louis.

Hello anon! Apologies for the hold up on this, I wanted to do a good and thorough job at responding because it is a sensitive topic, for sure. I’m not sure how much you dabble in substances, your age, or your experiences with said substances, so what I say may feel like it’s still too much, but yeah, I hope I can provide you with some reassurance. So, lovely anon, welcome to the show!

TW for alcohol and drug use

Drinking and drug use is heavily glorified, over indulged in, and used as a crutch in the entertainment industry, but often times you only hear the worst of it. You’ve got the stories of overdoses, media analysing stars because they look drunk performing on stage, and artists having a bad/shocking image because they partake in alcohol/drugs depending on who their demographic is (zouis weed video, for example).

It’s often used as a coping mechanism, to just take a bit of the edge off. This doesn’t mean that all artists use it to an extreme extent to where they can’t perform/can’t live without it (like it’s portrayed in A Star is Born), and don’t get me wrong, some do, but from what I’ve seen and my pals and colleagues in the music industry have seen, Louis doesn’t overindulge.

I mean, they’d have a drink (or multiple) for the same reasons as we do, to just… chill out the nervous system, or carry on the energy. Dissipate some anxiety before going on stage and while on stage, calming down your body and mind from the adrenaline afterwards, partying and carrying on a bit more heavily if you’re celebrating. I’ve toured, not to the same extent as L or H, but it becomes quite normalised within people from the artist’s direct team, their direct touring crew, to the promoters, to the artist’s personal friends. It’s SO much work putting on these shows and travelling and when everything goes well, it’s a huge relief and time for a beverage or a joint. It’s just kinda… very normalised, which is also really bad, but Louis, from what I’ve seen and heard, is smart with it.

You’re correct in saying he isn’t drunk on stage, he doesn’t smell like substances (only cigarettes but that’s a whole other story), and only has 1 beer on stage.

His rider is pretty standard too. Artists over order so they don’t need runners to go get them stuff causing a delay. And then they take whatever they don’t finish to the hotel with them or whatever. If you were famous you’d wanna milk the free stuff 100%, so yeah, if that is a cause of concern for some fans seeing the leaked LATAM rider, I can assure you that it doesn’t go that far between the amount of people in his band and crew. It’s just… very normalised, but doesn’t happen every night.

Louis also just loves to dabble in the devils lettuce (im super annoyed that I have a story about this that I can’t share but he’s fucking hilarious) and loves a drink. Alcohol is also super normalised and encouraged in the UK, and here in Australia too. So I see a lot of it and it’s just kind of a thing you… do. It’s more so if you don’t drink, people are like ????? Hahaha.

So growing up in a country where it’s very normal to drink a beer or get pissed, it’s kind of engrained, and then being in an industry where it’s also normalised, it’s 100% natural to lean into it. When I drink on tour, it’s certainly less often than artists, but it’s just a social celebration thing and it’s kind of expected to a degree. In my opinion, and from what I’ve seen of him going on tour, he doesn’t have a problem nor loses any professionalism on or off the stage. He’s very serious about making these shows good and proving himself.

When I was backstage with him at one of these shows, he was in a green room that wasn’t too far from my office. He is so LOUD and hearing his giggle and talking shit was so wild hahaha. I could smell cigarettes, and heard him and his band/crew do a shot before the show, but apart from that I think maybe they had one or two beers in the late arvo together. I don’t clean/service green rooms so I can’t tell you 100% how much they drank, but it was pretty lowkey. I also don’t think he gets stoned before going on stage (I would’ve smelt it). I think it’s purely an after show fun time which also helps him sleep from jet lag/adrenaline etc. like I mentioned earlier.

He eats well, and while not as healthy as H, still filling food and has an appetite (im talking during the day, not the wild amount of munchies he orders post show), so he’s not letting alcohol/nicotine curb his appetite to that point. He did have bottle service at his hotel on a couple of those nights, too. But again, the bigger indulgence seems to be post show. He’s overall still healthy.

From what we’ve seen, it would be very easy to spot if he was going too far. He’s 100% in control and uses it as a small crutch like a lot of us do due to the intense stress of our jobs. Tbh he also just likes a drink and a joint or two and there’s no reason to worry. Hell, I like a drink or a joint or two and im good at my job, know when to stop, and uphold my professionalism to a high standard. There’s truly no reason to worry, he’s just louder about it than the other boys (I’ve heard that Niall gets on it just as much, but we don’t see it).

Now, it may seem like im making excuses for the industry or for Louis or whatever, but truly, it kinda is what it is. There has been a small but significant shift in the industry around drinking and drug use though, and how it affects mental health, which is great. In Australia, we have a resource called “Support Act” which is an organisation that now has a 24/7 wellbeing hotline for artists, industry folks, and crew, and while it has been around since 1997, it is obviously far bigger and more accessible now due to technology etc., and has great resources. The UK similarly has “Music Minds Matter”, and there are multiple around the US. So there is definitely a larger awareness on the toll touring and an industry career can take on you, and I have no doubt that Louis is aware of his limits and has supportive and wonderful people around him.

Wow okay this turned into a whole other thing. Sorry!!! Hahaha. Look, in short, he drinks nowhere near as much as other artists I’ve worked with (8 bottles of top shelf whiskey in one night thanks) and unless we see any cause for concern, im sure he’s okay, 100% in control, and just living his best life as a 32 yr old successful rockstar. Try not to worry!

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep3 Musings - Loumand

Last post, I promise; I needed another nap; this ep's a freaking rollercoaster. And these two queens nearly gave me a stress ulcer!

DEBATABLE, Louis. I can think of FAR worse vamps than you, love.

Why're y'all having this whole conversation where anyone can hear?

They got Sartre's wall-eyes down; good makeup this season, team! 👌

DreamStat's a Loumand bed-death truther, jfc. 😭

I wanna know EXACTLY what Armand sees--or "feels"--whenever DreamStat pops up in Lou's head. Cuz he clearly knows precisely where Les is; he looks right in his direction. But does he HEAR Les too? (God I hope not, this song would've had me SEETHING--Back to Hell with you! 😅)

"Oh dear" indeed; I was HOLLERING.

SAM WAS DEVOURING THIS SCENE HOLY GOD GO AWAY DEMON

Armand looked PISSED, I was scared for Louis' life! And he DOES know, actually, yes Lou. I can almost GUARANTEE that he knows PRECISELY where Lestat is AT THIS VERY MOMENT, yes Lou.

If only you knew.... 😬

Claudia's suffered more than Christ. And nice cut to Daniel sneaking around with Raglan James as Armand talks about Furies punishing "human wrongdoing." It's really interesting that Armand told the lawyer that LOUIS is the owner of the paintings. Is he the owner of the penthouse too? HOW MANY DEEDS DOES HE HAVE, ROLIN?

I wonder what AMC might be saying about Loumand's art collection, not just wrt what we know about art heist!Armand (which we'll likely see a nod to in Ep4 at the Louvre); but also wrt what we know about Dubai's godawful neocapitalist hellscape economy, and Loumand's "moralizing" about Parisian black markets in S01E02.

I wonder if that's the excuse Armand'll give the coven when Louis shows up for dinner in Ep4--very much NOT dead; and rips out Santiago's tongue.

WILD voice-over, cuz you KNOW that's what Santiago was thinking, too, LOL. (You wish, Francis.) But yes: Louis' finna end your whole career. XD

Another TERRIFYING jumpscare from the coven, like in Ep2 with Annika. Louis, I am shocked & appalled--can you not HEAR all these vamps planning your bloody murder around you? CLAUDIA! WTF!?

But this is how you know Armand's true personality--he hates getting his hands dirty. He kills all the time, but he makes his victims' deaths pretty. He'd rather sit back & let Lestat/Louis come in and wreck his whole coven, even though he has the power to just light those mofos up all on his own! I wish AMC emphasized a bit more that Armand not only writes/directs the plays--he's an ACTOR, too. And istg he's an expert at PRETENDING to be helpless, meanwhile he's the strongest vamp that's NOT one of the Children of the Millennia (thanks to how well Marius made him).

Armand, that is LOW; waiting until Claudia's stuck under the oaths b4 you tell her she's guilty of breaking Great Laws she doesn't even know about yet. WTF?

How TF you gon' hold Louis accountable for following the Laws when he wasn't even allowed to be in the effing room when they were read!? He's not even a member! WTF! (I get it--any rogue vampires are subject to death, yadayada; we know it's a stupid policy.)

I love how he plans to leave by himself here--it had nothing to do with picking "another one" over Claudia. He just didn't want to hold her back anymore. And his presence was causing problems. 😭 It's so cute that Louis' stipulation about London was that if it's "too large" he'd leave and go to Ireland (?!?)--he's become agoraphobic or something? He just wants to be alone in his hermit hole--MOOD. 😭

Good to get confirmation that the Fire Gift here is Armand and blessedly NOT Santiago--so why's he zooming around in the sewers?

Look, sometimes folks make terrible first impressions--Lestat was being hella racist, Louis' always playing defense, Armand was finna kill Louis in a gay public park. It happens.

Foreshadowing like crazy, as usual.

WILD thing to say. I'm gonna cry, please stop.

(What kinda hypocrisy is that, when you were made young your dang self!?) She's already 30+ years old--maybe she'll last a little longer if y'all (read: sexist, racist, ageist, ableist, etc society) don't eff around tryna make her life even harder! But AMC's deliberately cutting Claudia's life in half, compared to the books, cuz misogynoir's real and Claudia gets NOTHING out of vampirism, not even a fair chance. And y'all let her into the coven KNOWING how much she loves y'all, and KNOWING y'all were gonna kill her. EFF THIS WHOLE COVEN, ARMAND INCLUDED. (Lemme calm down--this kind of betrayal is exactly how Lestat must've felt in S01E07; I get it; they're getting a taste of their own medicine. But LESTAT EFFING HAD IT COMING. The coven should've just told them: y'all got til sunrise to GTFO our territory, you're not welcome here. This whole bit's unnecessary.)

THE PARALLELS ARE PARALLELING

SKILL ISSUE. Cuz Louis' got the least power, and he's finna clear that whole bish out in just a couple episodes. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Louis, love, ARMAND DON'T GIVE A EFF ABOUT RAISING SOME OTHER MAN'S OFFSPRING. This is the call of the wild, as Alphas KILL the children their stolen Omega brides had for other Alphas/Betas, so he can restart the gene pool with HIS DNA instead. I know y'all had National Geographic back then already--READ A BOOK, Louis, it's what you're best at.

Incredible. After all of that Louis said Lestat never broke him. BENT BUT NEVER BROKEN, that's right! 💪😤

Boy, we're not talking about some little (unrequited) CRUSH over a man you only knew for a few months (which you've CLEARLY not gotten over yet). Louis was MARRIED to the man for 30 YEARS. This is his MAKER. Lestat knew his whole family; went to the Black cookouts and everything! They literally built a home AND business together! They raised a child together! WHATCHU KNOW ABOUT THAT!?

And that's LESTAT'S DAUGHTER TOO--how much can you possibly love EITHER of them while planning to knock her off!? I can't listen to too much more of this. *hands Louis the torch and scythe*

Beautiful end of this STACKED episode. Incredible work, AMC! Jacob acted his PANTS off; he excels at the trembling voice, agonized facial expressions, and utter mental breakdowns. He's pulling DEEP within him, holy god; it's so raw, it's almost hard to watch. EMMY WHEN?!

[williamaltman]

I'm gonna talk more about the episode later (including some positive stuff) but, right now I just want to say I'm really disappointed that apparently there's really not gonna be any retcon/reveal/whatever that Lestat actually wanted to make Claudia/was happy with the idea of having her as a daughter when Louis came with her.

I mean, on this episode they brought a version where Lestat was *even more* against the idea and is completely miserable about it, and, it does seem to be fake for the purposes of the trial, but... Louis then says it's actually closer to the truth?

And even if he's wrong, if this is not supposed to be believed like it seems at first glance (tbh I don't think he even meant that the whole thing was right, more just that Lestat told him it was wrong to turn a child), then this is already meant as the different "wronger" version meant to highlight the previous version as more real. Either way the difference is Lestat being annoyed and mildly reluctant vs Lestat being passionately against it and miserable when having to do it, which is like, a lose lose situation.

What I wanted from the beginning was to see a version where, at the very least, Lestat is happy with the idea when he realizes Louis means for her to be their daughter. Like I've said before, this is very easy to do. All you need to do is have him smile and appear excited or pleased when he says "...a daughter" and goes on to do it. Which is still not even close to the book version where he's the one to come up with the whole idea in the first place, but it would be at least one step closer and overall frame their (Lestat and Claudia) relationship in a more positive light from the beginning.

I'm happy with the crumbs we got on the trial, really, but it's not enough to me if besides reaffirming the narrative of her turning they're (possibly) going even further into Lestat being against it.

I know what people are gonna say, that in season 3 it's gonna be revisited again, with Lestat's reeaal perspective, but I really don't think so. This seems to be the revisiting already. I think it'd be kinda ridiculous to have a third version of the scene, and even if there is, that's not to say it's necessarily gonna be something more akin to what I think it should.

With the fact that they already showed more of the "fight" too, including making Lestat more sympathetic (which is clearly not fake considering the fact that LESTAT LITERALLY WENT OFF SCRIPT to express his guilt over it, how wrong he knows it was and to not let Santiago dismiss it), I think this means that the writers are more intent on their version of things than some people imagine when the idea of revisiting things and showing other POVs comes up.

I know that we most likely will learn of more things Armand might have changed in Louis' memories, but, this one at least is clearly not gonna be one of them. Armand's mind edits would be more focused on Lestat as a lover than something like Claudia's creation, and if anything I think he would be more likely to alter things to make Lestat more willing to break the rules rather than less.

I'm sure we'll hear about how much Lestat loved her, how devastated he was over her death and how he saw himself in her (especially since we already got a bit of that on the trial), but I think her turning is always gonna be "Lestat doesn't want to break the rules or ~have a third~ in his relationship Louis" which imo is such a misrepresentation of him and his dynamic with Claudia. The fact that even after Marius' warnings he didn't give a fuck? That's Lestat. It seems like if anything the writers want to make him *less bad* by not doing that (which is weird considering some of their choices in the opposite direction), by having him being somewhat responsible for a moment, but him not caring because he wanted her so bad and still not regretting it even after everything is so much more important.

Even if they do the "And I cannot say even now that I regret Claudia" it's not gonna ring true to me, because even if he misses her there's not much to regret in the first place when the responsability is like 90% on Louis in the show canon...

This is all water under the bridge in a way since it's mostly just how I've felt since 1x04, but, you know, with the idea of revisiting things and showing different versions I ended up getting some hope of it being changed and now it hasn't. Maybe there's really a third version and this will age like milk, but right now I don't think so.

[gplovestwdg]

hiii! loving your modern au!! do you have more info about brody <3, marlon and like the rest of the ericson kidss?

Thank you for your interest and sorry it took so long for me to respond to this ask! ^^

The main Ericson's group from season 4 is split across high schoolers and young kids in my au and they live in separate areas of the school. Characters that go to the Ericson's high school are exactly the same age and in the same grade even if they're a bit younger/older in canon while characters that are younger than high school age are their canon ages.

Everyone is mostly the same though, like I've mentioned before, their roles within this au are slightly different. Marlon and Brody are the President and Vice-President of their grade respectively and as juniors (yes they're in 11th grade) they're given a lot of responsibility considering they'll be graduating next year. Also they're in a not so healthy relationship...

They share most of their classes, and Marlon definitely has anger issues that are exasperated by Brody's anxiety troubles. Here's the two of them with some unnamed students during the gym class they share ^^

It's difficult to divulge all the information regarding every character without turning this into an incomprehensible block of text so I'll be brief with other characters:

Louis and Violet are mostly the same, Louis is Marlon's childhood friend and Violet is pretty closed off and in an also not so healthy relationship with Minnie.

Minnie and Sophie are both on the school's baseball team, Minnie is similar to herself in game personality wise. She can be pretty rude and is very prone to siding with authority figures (teachers in this case) compared to those close to her. Sophie is much brighter and values the independence of students over the authority of teachers. Also Sophie and Mitch have something going on (fueled by my silly crackship in middle school haha.)

Mitch is literally the exact same lol. So are Aasim and Ruby, Aasim is the same as he is in game but he puts up a front around teachers as he's grown attached to his fellow students and doesn't particularly want to go home, since in game he's canonically basically been rehabilitated by the time of the apocalypses start. And yes, he's still pining after Ruby in my au. Omar is also virtually the same as well, he volunteers a lot to help the cafeteria ladies and gentlemen with lunch and dinner.

Tenn and Willy live in a separate section of the school for middle/elementary school aged kids and have their own teenager that they get to see once a week(Minnie/Sophie and Mitch respectively), kinda like the big brother program if you've heard of it. Though Sophie and Mitch specifically are very adept at sneaking around and seeing them near daily.

Here's a little relationship chart with all the kids ^^ Some relationships are a bit one-sided and some are multifaceted as well! For example most of the friends/hate arrows are meant to show annoyance/resentment in the friendship.

Also AJ lives in this section of the school, unbeknownst to Clem for now. It doubles as a living space/common education for kids taken by CPS.

Finally all the teenagers mentioned are in a big friend group and since they're friends with their grades president and vice-president they're able to take advantage of certain aspects of the school like sneaking out late at night without much punishment. They like to hang out around the river near the fishing cabin and in the forest, but Marlon doesn't let them go outside his arbitrary safe zone cause he can't really make up an excuse for them to be out past there and the thought of getting into trouble with the adults terrifies him. Though they do take the train into the closest town and hangout on weekends!

Ahh movie night :')

[nightcolorz]

Okay I need to get this out of my system, this place seems safe to do that <3

As a show only fan imho there cannot be a comparison between Lestat and Armand and not for the "who's better than the other" or "who's more toxic" manner. Like its very unfair to the characters themselves and the relationship they have with Louis to do that.

As far as Louis choices go he is just trying to explore his sexuality in Paris more, Paris give a new freedom to Louis not just as a black man but as a gay man, and as for who he loves more is again not a competition, because what he had with Lestat was fucking intense, it was all sorts of fucked up, romantic, expressive and explosive in the end.

With Armand I'd say like Assad said it's tender and calmer althought it does have a toxic twist to it.

And I do believe that Armand is sort of cornered here in this situation, the coven on one side and Louis on the other, since Louis arrived in Paris he has been trying to stay away from the coven but Armand fell in love at the same time Louis was haunted by his grief and its manifestation as Dreamstat, and I didn't like the way fandom picked Daniel's "Are you schizophrenic Louis?" and ran with it, no one paused and thought this is how he process his grief and guilt.

And in all of this Armand was left sort of hanging, uncertain with his relationship with Louis which is again is unfair to Armand.

The final straw for Armand is when Louis suddenly introduces the D/s dynamic in their relationship and kinda takes an advantage of his assertiveness in it, now this doesn't mean Louis is dom and Armand is sub. Overall Armand seems to have more control over their relationship its only during sex they bring it out and sometimes maybe in their regular dynamics.

Since then I think the betrayal has kinda blindsided the people, now I can understand their feelings about it, totally valid they have all the right to be upset about it, Claudeleine and Louis did not deserve any of it but declaring Armand the Big BadTM is not it.

Have we not seen how much of an asshole Louis is in ep6, sure he is repressing a lot of things and lashing out on Claudia and others around him but ignoring that and holding Armand entirely responsible for their fucked up relationship is just......lazy.

And having polarising, firm beliefs over characters being "too good" "too bad" "too toxic" is just so lazy, so many anons have said this but I am saying it again.

EVERYONE IS HORRIBLE IN THIS SHOW, but that doesn't mean we should dismiss their stories, vulnerabilities and rather human parts which imo makes them more interesting rather than just calling one of them the big bad ans getting done with it. Why are we scared of acknowledging that the most inhuman characters can have their weaknesses and that makes them the way they are the choices they make.

And this is in regards with all characters but especially Lestat and Armand.

Ur so right anon <3 I also think pitting Lestat and Armand against each other and comparing “how good” they r for Louis is like such a useless thing to focus on 🙏 like as much as we kid this isn’t twilight 💀 and focusing on some fabricated love triangle angle just ends up reducing the characters and the story into smth very simplistic and uninteresting. Just over all, fandom has a reducing complex things to dumb black and white things issue lol. Which is probably what most of the rlly bad takes about Armand come down too

thank u for the ask ❤️❤️

[avaelangel]

Watched the finale. I have some thoughts. And I miss Tumblr, so it's going to be here. Spoilers. Spelling errors. Annoying takes. A lot of letters.

To be completely honest, it's not perfect all the way. It's a bit shakey and seems like it suffered because of the strikes, maybe? I still love my bastards, but well oh well.

I didn't expect Daniel to be so pro-Lestat? It was very satisfying for him, to see him unveil Armand like that. I think, Armand's ''How dare you?'' could have been played up, since he was growing some affection for Molloy. But I expected a full fight. I know it isn't the last we see of the manipulative gremlin, but still. Hate him, but what a face.

There's still questions to be answered and details to know. Lestat mastered up some strength to save at least Louis and now we know, that at least about something Armand didn't lie. Claudia really looked at Lestat, while burning.

Loustat getting closure was very beautiful. Very raw and human, not what happens in the book, really, which I loved. Everything showed, including how actually free Sam and Jacob are with each other. Lestat, of the two of them, barely holding on and trying to ease the tension? I hate them, I love them. I understand both of them and I hate that too. Kinda.

We all knew what is going to happen to Daniel. He was actually less frail that I expected him to be, walking up to two vampires in a fight. Damn, boy. Again, even Talamasca thought that he's in danger. But Armand didn't retaliate, probably because he knew that it's over.

Akasha? Hey, girl? To be honest, I haven't met her fully yet, I only have two books under my belt. But it was such a funny little flex. This whole scene was a little silly, but I think I also got too used to the vampire grandeur that Armand and Santiago spewed.

Sam? Talamasca guy? I need more details on that, but he's a vibe, I'm glad he stays.

The mention of Akasha did throw me off and I thought, at first, it was her who Lestat couldn't get out of his mind. But I really look forward to the terror The Ones Who Must be Kept will bring. And Marius? I don't trust him. Lestat is probably the one I trust the most here, and that's saying something.

Also, Dan is sort of pre-Bright Falls Alan Wake now? Who is also a vampire? But I love it. I hope he drives Armand insane soon. It seems that Eric Bogosian is very happy in this role and I'm very happy to see him in it. Was Daniel turned out of spite, really? It really seems, at least for now, that Armand came and went like ''You wanted it all those decades ago? Here you go, bitch!''.

As far as I've seen, AMC's marketing, especially in terms of merch, is very meh. It would have been so smart to release the book in the cover they have showed in the show. There was a literal close up! Come on, guys.

It is great that Louis is not in a relationship right now. We know that he will be in the third season, he might go on tour with Lestat or just take some hits at first from the ones that are willing to square up. Saying this, I'm so excited for Gabrielle and I hope there would be jokes about Lestat being a true motherfucker.

SUPER DUPER SPOILER THAT MIGHT BE WRONG.

Claudia. Haunting. I really need Delainey back. And I really hope Armand didn't fucking lie about her and Madeleine's end. I will stitch his eyes closed otherwise. God, I'm probably reading Vampire Armand when I find it.

I guess...That's the end? But there's so much left. I hope the 3d season will bloom into existence sooner.