#yeah I’m posting this massive thing on main

[yoongiblunt]

Today was a fever dream

I’ve had this shitty heat rash that has made my hands cramp, burn, and sting. I also have blisters from working while my skin is so sensitive. I have a UV allergy and made the mistake of going out in the sun on the 4th, which was the hottest day the US has ever recorded with UV rays of like, 12. I didn’t know that, obviously. But I got a little sun and a little rash. The AC being broken at my job made it so much worse though. It’s nearly 100 degrees in the building and we have literally been getting awful reviews because of it and even had a pregnant woman get sick due to it. The Ac NEEEEEDS fixed but our owners are dragging such ass.

I started having awful blisters coming up on my hands, arms, and legs while working. I went to deal with it and MOD literally was upset at me for sitting in the manager chair while I applied burn cream and bandaids. So I told him what was up and he MOCKED ME. So I lost my cool on him a little.

I watched a customer come to the store with a messed up order, she asked for extra beef lamb on her gyro and that’s a little subjective due to our already large portions. She drove home and came back during shift change, so her order took a little longer. Her fries, from a separate order, got cold, and she demanded we replaced those as well. We remade both orders even though only one was messed up. She drives about 10 minutes away o guess and comes back pissed because her fries are cold. Maam you were in an air conditioned car and they were hot when you left. Food cools. She demanded a free meal, and the 19 year old trainee explained that they had already fixed the meal and all she could do was grab fresh fries as that’s the only thing that was wrong. The woman demanded that joy eat or touch her fries to see how cold they were. Joy refused and the woman threw the order at her.

A friend came up to me while I was working and she said she had done some coke before she came in and felt bad. She’s a regular user so it was weird to feel that shitty after a couple of bumps and she asked if I had test strips. I knew the bartender and her fiancé had them as they are hardcore harm reduction bitches and are all about making sure someone is using safely. I wasn’t really concerned with if she got it at my job or did it at my job, moreso I just needed to know what she had taken on the off chance that she began to OD. I meet lynlee in the office and she tosses me a couple of tests and I run Leelee to the bathroom and we test the bag just to find out she had been dosed on Fentanyl. Naturally I calmly grab her face and am checking her out to see if she’s okay. She insists that she just needs to go home and get to bed. I get her a ride home and make sure security walks her out, have her send a picture of the positive test to her dealer, and flush the coke. I let MOD know, and this man literally just gets mad. He’s like wtf like why did she do it here. Idk man, we have plenty of people doing coke here. He got upset because he thought that she would tell her friends that they can get their shit tested here. Bro. That’s not an okay way to think about that. It’s like he totally overlooked the fact that one of our customers ingested fentanyl and could have overdosed and had we not tested her coke we would not have known what happened. Warranted, most of FOH is narcan certified due to lynlee wanting to cut down on accidental overdose among friend groups. He was like we aren’t gonna talk about it and no one needs to know.

I said fuck that and texted the general manager and let him know because not only is he my roommate, but the last thing I need is it getting around I was in a bathroom stall with leelee with a bag of coke, or that she “did coke with me” that had fent in it. I’m three months sober. I’m not touching that shit. I did it to protect her and make sure she had knowledge on how to test her drugs in the future for her safety.

Obviously Caleb told me I did the right thing and told me he would make sure I didn’t get in trouble if anything was said.

I was obviously ridiculously stressed about the ordeal and got off the clock and won a bunch of fireball shots because apparently the only luck I have is playing quarters for free shots.

We all hung around at the bar and got a little drunk and then a bunch of us went to the pocket museum, which is literally just an alley way connected to our historical saenger theater that has little miniature people hidden around and art from local artists. It’s a really cool spot, and has twinkle lights and music playing all night long. We got some Taco Bell and twisted teas and explored and star gazed. We absolutely tagged the parking garage a little ways away with some trans rights shit. I was a little insecure about literally being on the security cameras laying on the pavement while we stargazed so I shot the museum a little message letting them know that we were just looking at the stars and that we were alright. They have security cameras for people who steal from the exhibits and deface the alley as it’s part of our historically protected district. A lady and her kid literally took blue paint and splashed it all over the place.

The people who run the page actually messaged me back saying that they appreciated us having a good time and enjoying their space and that our drunken star gazing was safe with them.

I brought cole and Brooke from work over and we had a mini dance party in my room and I got to show them some cool music videos. It’s been a long time since I’ve hung out with people without being high as hell, so it was nice. I taught cole a couple of bass lines and he asked me to play a random song (alien blues) and I hadn’t heard the song in a while but gave it a shot, I managed to play thru most of it without fucking up and he complimented my playing. I was super embarrassed tho because I did fudge a few notes. He even scolded Brooke for talking while I played because he was listening.

Idk it was a really good night and a really bad night all the same. My life really is an uncomfortable balance of good and bad.

Caleb wants to throw a triple birthday party for himself, his son Aaron who is turning one, and me next month and told me to go on and ask the days off cause he wants a week of partying with a bouncy slip and slide.

Even tho things are often rough, I’m starting to feel a little more loved.

[neferaskingdom]

♡ Vegas Baby | MV1

NEFERASKINGDOM

Summary: After winning his fourth world championship, Max Verstappen stuns the world with a live radio proposal.

A/N: This was inspired by this post by @altxanna idea so good it made me get over my writer's block and write this 4.2k monstrosity.

MAX VERSTAPPEN MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

Max Verstappen crossed the finish line in fifth place, but that didn’t matter. The entire world was fixated on the fact that he had just won his fourth World Championship.

“AND MAX VERSTAPPEN DOES IT AGAIN! FOUR WORLD TITLES!” David Croft shouted, his voice teetering on the edge of hysteria. The Las Vegas skyline lit up like a fireworks display on overdrive, the crowd roaring in approval.

“Forget where he finished—he’s a four-time world champion!” Martin Brundle yelled, equally excited. “This is history!”

Max, however, barely seemed to notice he’d crossed the line in fifth. He was just… Max. Calm. Collected. His voice came through the radio, steady as always, but with a hint of amusement.

“Thanks, guys. It’s been an incredible season. I’m so proud of the team. Huge thanks to GP, Christian, everyone.”

“You’ve done it, Max! Four-time champion, man!” GP screamed, clearly unable to keep the excitement in. “This is massive, mate! You’ve earned this!”

“Yeah, I know,” Max said, his voice deadpan. “But listen, there’s one more thing.”

The radio went quiet for a second.

“Uh… What’s that, Max?” GP asked, his tone suddenly cautious.

Max didn’t respond right away. Then, he casually dropped the bomb.

“Y/n, a bet’s a bet. We’re getting married tonight.”

“WHAT?!” GP exploded. “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?”

Max’s tone didn’t change. “We’re getting married. Vegas chapel. Tonight.”

The entire Red Bull garage froze. Even the other engineers looked around in total confusion.

Max continued, his voice as if he were discussing the weather. “It’s been planned. I won the fourth title, she agreed to the bet, so… wedding time.”

GP sputtered. “Max, you—WHAT? No, no, no. You can’t just say that on the radio! You can’t just—”

“I’m doing it,” Max said, already tired of the conversation. “It’s happening. Vegas. Tonight.”

The radio was dead silent for a long moment, then GP finally spoke, his voice laced with a mixture of disbelief and dread. “Max, I—What in the world did I just hear? Are you seriously making your wedding announcement over the team radio?”

“Of course, I’m serious,” Max replied. “She said if I won my fourth title in Vegas, I could pick the wedding date. So, I picked tonight.”

“Max, you can’t—you—what the hell is wrong with you?!” GP spluttered.

Back in the commentary booth, David Croft could barely hold it together. “Did Max Verstappen just announce his wedding on live radio after winning his fourth world championship? Is that what I just heard?!”

“I think that’s exactly what you heard, Crofty,” Martin Brundle said, voice dripping with astonishment. “This is pure, unfiltered Verstappen.”

David Crofty just stared at the screen, blinking in disbelief. “Honestly, I can’t even process this. We’ve seen some wild moments in F1, but this... this might just take the cake.”

“Yeah,” Brundle said with a chuckle. “You can’t script this stuff. Not even in Vegas.”

Meanwhile, in Red Bull’s hospitality area, Y/n was standing stock-still, her eyes wide as she stared at the screen. The radio call still blaring in her ears.

“Did—did he just announce our wedding? Like… right now?!” she hissed, her hand gripping the counter in disbelief.

A Red Bull mechanic standing nearby looked just as stunned. “Uh, I think he did, yeah.”

“He’s lost it,” one engineer muttered under his breath, his face pale.

“I don’t even know what’s happening anymore,” another whispered.

The others weren’t any better off, most of them looking like they might faint. A PR rep came over, trying to maintain professionalism but clearly in shock. “Y/n, um… Max just… did he just announce your wedding?”

“Don’t look at me,” Y/n groaned, burying her face in her hands. “I can’t even… He’s the worst.”

“Vegas, baby!” another joked, only to get smacked in the arm by Y/n as she stormed past.

Back on the track, Max, utterly relaxed, parked his car in parc fermé and stepped out, throwing his helmet in the air before catching it like it was no big deal.

“So, yeah,” Max said, grinning at the cameras. “Got my fourth title, and now I get to marry my girl. Vegas chapel, let’s go!”

The reporters and photographers surrounding him stared at him in utter confusion.

“Wait, what? You’re—what?!” one reporter stammered.

Max smirked. “Yep, Vegas. I won, she lost, and now we’re getting married.”

He tossed a thumbs-up to the camera as if it were a completely normal thing to say.

“Max,” one reporter finally managed, “you’re serious about this, right? You’re really getting married in Vegas?”

Max’s grin widened. “I’m serious. A bet’s a bet. No turning back.”

Back in the Red Bull garage, chaos had officially set in. Christian Horner, who had been pacing for the last five minutes, finally stopped and glared at a nearby mechanic. “What am I supposed to do with this now?!”

“I don’t know, Christian,” the mechanic said, holding up his hands in defeat. “Maybe we start picking out flowers?”

“Someone get me a drink,” Christian muttered, walking off, leaving a sea of confusion behind him.

Y/n stormed through the paddock like a woman possessed, her face a mix of disbelief, panic, and barely contained rage.

She spotted Max leaning casually against a barrier in parc fermé, looking like he had no care in the world—despite having just announced their impending Vegas wedding to the entire world. He was surrounded by Lewis, Fernando, George, and Carlos, who were all still there congratulating him and clearly trying to comprehend what had just happened.

“MAX!” Y/n screeched as she closed the distance.

Max turned, his smug grin stretching even wider. “Oh, there she is! The future Mrs. Verstappen. Took you long enough.”

Y/n planted herself directly in front of him, glaring. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

Max blinked, his expression far too innocent. “What? I kept my promise.”

“Your promise?” Y/n echoed, incredulous. “You hijacked the championship celebration to announce a fake wedding! On LIVE TELEVISION!”

“It’s not fake,” Max said matter-of-factly. “A bet is a bet.”

Carlos, standing nearby, raised an eyebrow. “Wait, wait, wait. You bet your wedding on the championship?”

“Of course,” Max said with a shrug, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I’m a man of my word.”

George choked on air. “You’re a menace.”

“Exactly,” Y/n said, throwing her hands in the air. “Max, this is insane! You can’t just—”

“Relax, schatje,” Max interrupted, his tone annoyingly casual. “It’s Vegas. This is what people do here.”

“Not normal people!” Y/n snapped.

Lewis, still dabbing at his face with a towel, gave a bewildered laugh. “I’m sorry, are we actually talking about a real wedding right now?”

“Yes,” Max said confidently. “Tonight.”

“No,” Y/n shot back.

“Yes.”

“MAX!”

“Yes, Y/n,” Max said, leaning forward slightly. “We are getting married tonight, and that’s final.”

“Final?!” she spluttered. “How is this final? There’s no plan, no venue, no—”

“Vegas has plenty of chapels,” Max interrupted smoothly.

“I don’t have a dress!”

“You’ll look great in anything,” Max countered.

Y/n groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I don’t even have someone to walk me down the aisle!”

Max tilted his head, clearly unbothered. “Oh, that’s easy.” He turned to his left, where Lewis stood mid-sip from his water bottle. “Lewis! Can you walk Y/n down the aisle tonight?”

Lewis froze, the bottle halfway to his mouth. “What?”

“Can you walk her down the aisle?” Max repeated, as if this were a completely reasonable request.

“I—” Lewis blinked, looking between Max and Y/n. “Uh… sure?”

“What?! No!” Y/n shouted.

“Why me?” Lewis asked, baffled.

Max shrugged. “You’re a world champion. She deserves someone of high status.”

Before Y/n could combust, Fernando Alonso stepped forward, a sly grin on his face. “Hold on,” he said, raising a hand. “If anyone is walking her down the aisle, it should be me. I’m the most appropriate for the role.”

Lewis turned to him, visibly confused. “How do you figure that?”

Fernando gave a dramatic shrug. “Experience. I’m wiser, more distinguished. A father figure, if you will.”

Y/n groaned, “Oh my God, Fernando—”

Lewis snorted. “Father figure? Please. More like grandfather figure.”

The group exploded into laughter. George doubled over, wheezing, while Carlos clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle his own cackles.

“You wound me, Hamilton,” Fernando said, his tone mock-offended.

“Yeah, but I’m not wrong,” Lewis quipped, smirking.

“This is not happening,” Y/n muttered, covering her face with her hands.

Max leaned closer to her, his grin pure mischief. “See? Problem solved. You have two excellent candidates to walk you down the aisle.”

“This is NOT solved!” Y/n screeched.

George finally spoke up, still chuckling. “You know, for the record, this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen”

“Agreed,” Carlos said, shaking his head with a grin. “But I can’t look away.”

Max clapped his hands together. “Alright, then. We’re all set! Lewis or Fernando—it’s Y/n’s choice.”

“I CHOOSE NEITHER!” she yelled, clearly on the verge of a breakdown.

Max leaned back, entirely unfazed. “Suit yourself. But one way or another, schatje, we’re getting married tonight.”

Y/n turned to the other drivers, her eyes pleading. “Can someone PLEASE talk some sense into him?”

Lewis shrugged. “I don’t know, Y/n. He seems pretty set on it. You might just have to roll with it.”

Fernando smirked. “And let me know when you decide. I’ll be practicing my ‘giving away the bride’ speech.”

George buried his face in his hands again, mumbling, “This is a fever dream.”

Y/n, meanwhile, was contemplating her life choices as Max grinned at her, utterly pleased with himself. This was going to be a nightmare—and she was the star attraction.

Suddenly, Lando came sprinting out of nowhere, practically skidding to a stop in front of Max. His curls were a chaotic mess, and his face was split into an ear-to-ear grin that made him look like an overexcited puppy.

“MAX!” Lando yelled, throwing his arms up. “FOUR-TIME WORLD CHAMPION! YOU LEGEND! Also mate, what the hell?! Are you really getting married?!” 

Max turned, his ever-present grin widening. “Obviously.”

“I thought it was just a rumor!” Lando said, flinging his helmet onto a nearby table. “I mean, come on, you say insane stuff on the radio all the time! I figured this was one of those things.”

“Nope.” Max popped the “p” for emphasis. “It’s happening. Tonight.”

Y/n, who had been pacing nearby in a futile attempt to process her life choices, groaned audibly. “I hate all of you. All of you.”

Lando glanced at her, then back at Max. “Wait, so this is real? Like… actually real?”

“As real as it gets,” Max replied, clapping Lando on the shoulder. “And since you’re here…”

Lando squinted. “Since I’m here, what?”

Max’s grin turned sly, his hand still on Lando’s shoulder. “How do you feel about being my best man tonight?”

Lando froze, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. “Wait, what?”

“You heard me,” Max said, still looking far too pleased with himself.

“Me?!” Lando gestured wildly at himself, his voice rising an octave. “Why me?!”

“Why not you?” Max countered smoothly.

“I don’t know!” Lando threw up his hands. “You could ask your trainer, your engineer—anyone! We’ve been rivals this entire year!”

Max tilted his head, his expression softening slightly. “Exactly. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs this year, yeah? Fighting for the championship and everything. But at the end of the day…” He paused, his grin shifting to something more genuine. “You’re a good friend, Lando. One of the best. And I’d like us to bury the hatchet. Tonight.”

The sudden sincerity hit Lando like a truck. His eyes widened, his lip quivering just a little as he stared at Max. “Max…”

The group went quiet—well, as quiet as it could be with the chaos of the paddock swirling around them. Even Y/n stopped pacing to stare, her eyebrows raised in surprise.

“You really mean that?” Lando asked, his voice thick with emotion.

“Of course,” Max said, giving Lando a firm pat on the back. “You’ve been there through all of it, mate. Who else would I want standing next to me tonight?”

Lando’s hand flew to his face, his bottom lip wobbling. “Oh my God. I think I’m gonna cry.”

“Don’t cry,” George mumbled, clearly trying to stifle a laugh. “This is ridiculous enough already.”

“Shut up, George!” Lando snapped, though it lacked any real venom. He sniffled, blinking rapidly. “Max, you big idiot. That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Max smirked. “Well, don’t get used to it.”

Y/n, watching this entire exchange with her arms crossed, muttered under her breath, “I cannot believe this is my life right now.”

Carlos, standing nearby, leaned over to George and whispered, “Do you think Lando will actually cry at the altar?”

“Oh, 100%,” George replied without hesitation.

“I’M NOT CRYING!” Lando shouted, wiping furiously at his eyes.

“Sure, mate,” Carlos said, grinning.

“Shut up!” Lando whirled back to Max, pointing a slightly wobbly finger at him. “Fine! I’ll do it. I’ll be your best man. But only because that was the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“Good.” Max nodded approvingly. “We’re gonna have a great time. Bring tissues, though. You’ll need them.”

Lando groaned. “You’re impossible.”

“And you’re emotional,” Max teased, clapping him on the back again.

“Can I leave now?” Y/n interjected, looking thoroughly exasperated.

“Nope,” Max said cheerfully. “We’ve still got wedding planning to do. And Lando needs to rehearse his speech.”

“Speech?!” Lando exclaimed, his face paling. “No one said anything about a speech!”

“Oh, come on,” Carlos said, grinning. “Just wing it.”

“This is a nightmare,” Y/n muttered.

“See, schatje?” Max said, turning to her with a mischievous smile. “Everything’s settled”

“Kill me now,” she groaned, dragging her hands down her face.

“Not before the wedding,” Max quipped. “I need my bride alive, schatje.”

Carlos, grinning, nudged George. “Do you think she’ll kill him before they even make it to the altar?”

“I actually might” Y/n snapped, making everyone laugh—except her.

Max clapped his hands together, cutting through the lingering laughter. “Alright, boys, fun’s over. See you after the podium, yeah?”

Carlos snorted, throwing an arm around George. “Come on, hombre. Let’s get out of here before they decide to do something crazier.”

Max turned to Carlos, his grin turning devious. “Speaking of you, Carlos, I need another groomsman. What do you say?”

Carlos blinked, clearly caught off guard. “Me? Really?”

“Obviously,” Max said, rolling his eyes. “You’re good at standing around looking pretty. Perfect for the job.”

“I’m honored,” Carlos said, puffing out his chest dramatically.

Y/n, standing a few feet away, raised her hand. “Dibs on George for my side, then.”

George’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, what?”

“I called dibs,” Y/n said firmly, crossing her arms.

“That’s not how this works!” Max exclaimed, glaring at her.

“It is now,” she shot back, grinning.

Max groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “You are impossible.”

“You’re marrying me,” she said sweetly. “This is your problem now.”

Before Max could argue further, he grabbed her hand, tugging her away from the group. “We need to pick more people. Properly.”

As they walked through the paddock, Max started listing names under his breath. “Alright, I want Charles on my side.”

“No way,” Y/n said immediately.

Max frowned. “Why not?”

“Because I’m picking him,” Y/n declared, speeding up her pace as soon as she spotted Charles standing by his car.

Max groaned. “You can’t just steal all the good ones!”

“Watch me.”

By the time they reached Charles, Y/n was already stepping in front of Max, her grin wicked. “Charles! You’re going to be my maid of honor.”

Charles looked up, his face blank with confusion. “Wait, what?”

Max shoved Y/n aside, scowling. “Ignore her, Charles. You’re going to be one of my groomsmen.”

“No, he’s not!” Y/n snapped, stepping back in front of Max.

“Yes, he is!” Max shot back, sidestepping her.

Charles blinked between them, his brows furrowing. “What is happening right now?”

“You’re gonna help me with my wedding,” Y/n said, grinning like she’d just won the lottery. “It’s happening tonight.”

Charles just stared at her, still not sure if he was in a dream or being pranked. “Uh… are you serious?”

“Charles, listen to me,” Y/n said, grabbing his hands dramatically. “I need you on my side. You’re the only one who understands how insane Max is.”

Max pulled her back by the shoulder. “He does not understand that! He’s my friend, not yours.”

Charles raised a hand. “Guys, what—”

“Do you really want to stand next to Max?” Y/n asked, cutting him off.

Max glared at her. “Do you really want to be stuck with her?”

“I feel like I don’t want to be stuck with either of you,” Charles said cautiously, his confusion growing.

“Charles,” Y/n pleaded, gripping his arm. “Please. You’ll get to wear something cool”

Charles blinked, still completely befuddled. “I… I don’t know what’s happening. Am I even invited to this wedding? Because you’re asking me to do a lot without any context.”

“Don’t listen to her!” Max interjected, gesturing wildly. “You’ll have more fun on my side. I’ll let you hold the rings.”

“No we’re letting Yuki hold the rings!” Y/n shouted.

Charles blinked again, looking between them like they’d both lost their minds. “Are you two seriously fighting over me right now?”

“Yes!” they yelled in unison.

Charles sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “This is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Say yes to me, Charles,” Y/n said, batting her eyelashes.

“No, say yes to me,” Max countered, practically growling.

Charles threw his hands up. “Fine! I’ll be on Y/n’s side. But only because she asked first.”

Y/n cheered, sticking her tongue out at Max. “Suck it!”

“I feel like I should be insulted,” Max muttered as Charles smirked at him.

The wedding was somehow happening. In the span of a few hours—thanks to an intense series of last-minute phone calls, frantic text messages, and a team of Red Bull employees being worked to the bone—the ceremony was set to begin. And despite the fact that no one really knew how they’d gotten here, the whole thing had turned into the weirdest Formula 1 event in history.

Y/n stood in the back, adjusting her dress, eyeing the people around her in disbelief. Max had somehow managed to throw together an entire wedding in record time, which was somehow both impressive and terrifying. She was walking down the aisle with Lewis and Fernando—two of the most iconic figures in F1. She couldn’t decide between them, so she’d invited both to walk her down the aisle. Because, why not?

“You sure you’re okay with this?” Lewis asked, smoothing out his jacket. His suit was impeccable, of course. He was an icon of style, so a last-minute wedding wasn’t going to stop him from looking good.

“I’m just trying to survive this,” Y/n muttered

“We’re in Vegas. Anything goes,” Fernando quipped, the slightest hint of a smile on his lips. “At least the wedding's got personality."

“You both know I’ll never live this down, right?” Y/n said, shaking her head. "This whole thing is so Max, I feel like I should apologize to everyone for being part of it."

“You’ll be fine,” Fernando added with a smile, adjusting his cufflinks. “It’s Max. You know he doesn’t do anything half-heartedly. He’s probably already planned the honeymoon.”

Y/n laughed nervously. “I’m pretty sure he has. You’ve both seen what happens when Max gets an idea in his head. And somehow... this is actually happening.”

“You’ve got this,” Lewis said. “We’re here for you.”

Before Y/n could respond, the doors swung open, signaling that it was time. The aisle was a bit too short for a proper procession, and the whole thing had a sense of hurried chaos as they started walking down toward the altar.

At the front, Max stood there waiting, looking like he was about to burst with excitement. His best man, Lando, had been fighting tears all night and was now sniffling into a tissue. "I swear this is the happiest day of my life," Lando muttered to Carlos, wiping his eyes.

Carlos, looking slightly concerned, just shook his head. “It’s their wedding Lando, not even your own. stop bawling.”

“Yeah, but it’s their wedding,” Lando said, eyes still damp. “There’s too much love in the air.”

Max had his hands tucked in his pockets, grinning like a kid on Christmas morning. When he spotted Y/n, he gave her an exaggerated wink, as if to say, “We made it.”

“You good?” Fernando asked, glancing at Y/n as they reached the front.

“I’m questioning every life choice I’ve made,” Y/n muttered under her breath, feeling the full weight of the absurdity of the situation.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” Max said, grinning.

At the back of the room, Oscar and Franco stood with baskets of flowers, both looking thoroughly confused in their roles as flower boys. Oscar had been dragged into this because of his unwillingness to protest. Franco, on the other hand, was too amused to care about the situation and just went along with it.

“Oscar, why are we doing this again?” Franco whispered, furrowing his brows as he sprinkled petals on the floor.

“Because Yuki said we had to. And I’m not arguing with him,” Oscar muttered, holding his basket as if it were a grenade about to go off.

“Who cares? It’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience! Attending Max Vertsappen’s wedding?,” Franco said with stars in his eyes, “I’ll tell my grandkids about this.”

Yuki, holding the rings, couldn’t contain his excitement as he gave them instructions. “Guys, you’re doing great. Just, uh, try not to look confused. I need this to look professional. Oscar throw the petals properly! more passion! more energy! more footwork!”

“I’m already questioning my entire existence,” Oscar said, looking at Franco for solidarity. Franco just smiled and threw a handful of petals into the air.

The Elvis officiating the wedding was already in full swing, not entirely sure of the gravity of the moment but having a blast nonetheless.

"Y’all ready to get hitched?" Elvis said, his voice more vibrant than Y/n could’ve imagined.

Max, barely containing his excitement, looked over at Y/n. “Ready for this, love?” he asked, his voice low, though it carried a hint of playfulness.

Y/n smiled, glancing at him for a moment. “More than ever.”

Then, in front of everyone, they exchanged their vows.

Max spoke first, his voice unwavering, but there was an undeniable tenderness in his words. “Y/n, you’ve turned my world upside down. You’ve made every race, every moment, better just by being there. I promise to keep being the person you’ve decided to stand at an altar with, the person you love—even when I’m an absolute nightmare. I’ll always fight for us, for this. I love you.”

Y/n could feel her heart in her throat as she spoke. “Max, you’ve always been… Max. But you’ve shown me that you are a person with the biggest heart. You’ve made me laugh, cry, and love harder than I thought I could. You’re my best friend, and I can’t wait for the next chapter of this crazy life with you. I love you.”

There were no grand gestures or over-the-top theatrics; instead, it was just them—raw, honest, and completely present in this moment.

Max smiled at her, the kind of smile that made everything feel right, before turning to the officiant.

“Elvis, hit me with that ‘you may kiss the bride’ line,” Max said, giving a wink.

And so, amidst the madness, they kissed, sealing their vows with a moment that felt right in all its simplicity. The crowd cheered, some clapping and others, like Lando, wiping away happy tears. It wasn’t the wedding anyone had expected, but it was exactly what Max and Y/n had needed.

As they pulled away, Y/n’s gaze met Max’s, and for a brief moment, it was just the two of them, everything else fading away.

As the ceremony ended and the newlyweds turned to leave, the crowd of friends and teammates erupted into applause, some of them still trying to process what had just happened.

Lando was grinning, wiping his eyes. “This is so perfect. I’m still not sure how we managed to get here in two hours, but it’s amazing.”

Charles was smiling too, giving Y/n a thumbs up. “Congrats, both of you. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Max is married now.”

Lewis patted Max on the back. “She’s got you now. Good luck with that.”

Y/n smiled at him, a little breathless. “So, are you planning to annoy me for the rest of our lives?”

Max grinned back, a playful gleam in his eyes. “Absolutely. You’ve signed up for it, so no turning back now.”

Everyone laughed, but there was a deep sincerity in the air. This was their moment—imperfect and hurried, but beautiful in its own way.

[goddamnitmahtin]

Seabreeze or Amaretto Sour

And so the plot continues as we dissect my weird ass dream. This post is the sequel of the post called Damian’s Babysitter and part 3 of the Fuck You Tim (Not Really) AU.

Danny heard a voice he recognized coming from Wes’ laptop. It was his dashing boyfriend across the country doing smart people things. It had been a while since he had heard his voice since Danny had gotten totally swamped with his final dissertation for his astrophysics major and his final project for his aerospace engineering major. It was around finals every semester that he cried himself to sleep for deciding to double major. Even now at this gala, Danny really should have been working on his dissertation. It was a miracle Wes had been able to pull him away from his computer for game night with Sam.

“Oh hey Tucker!” Danny said excitedly. He wasn’t looking at the computer but he still said hi. Danny was trying to mentally figure out where the platter Damian got his in the head with came from. All he could really see was a room full of children so he couldn’t tell which one could have thrown it.

“Oh hey Danny! You two are both at the gala then? Sam told me about the bet,” Danny heard Tucker say. He turned his attention to the discord call, hoping Tuck’s cam was on. It wasn’t.

“Oh uh- yeah. We are both here,” Wes said in a sheepish tone that Danny had never heard before. It made him look at his cousin a bit closer. He was blushing. Oh. OHHHH- Of course Tucker would not only seduce him but also his own cousin. Massive respect.

“Who is that?” Damian asked, almost as if he were trying to gather intel rather than make conversation.

“That’s my boyfriend Tucker. He’s in school at Harvard,” Danny said, smiling. Wes continued talking to Tuck with a dreamy look in his eye. It was hilarious.

The child huffed with a nod, “I see. I would like to speak with him.”

Danny chuckled, “Okay but let’s give Wes a minute to wrap his conversation first okay? I’m gonna go get a drink from the bar.” He then got up off the sofa to make his way to the bar he saw in the main room. It was really fancy. Way fancier than any dive bar he and Wes would go to on the weekends. It was like a legit setup and all the barstools were fully intact.

“Could I get a seabreeze?” Danny asked, already ruffling his pockets for his wallet.

“No,” the bartender said curtly.

“Hold on I have my id. And you’re right I should probably do something lighter. How about an amaretto sour,” Danny found his wallet and got his id out to show the bartender.

The bartender didn’t even look at it, “I will not be fooled by your forgeries again Mister Drake-Wayne.”

Danny was confused, “No- my name is Danny Fenton, look at my id. I’m 21.”

The bartender let out a very pompous sigh and proceeded to look at his id very dramatically, “You did very well forging it this time. Unfortunately for you, I recognize your face sir. I know that you are Tim Drake and not-” the bartend read the id card, “Daniel Fenton. Now run along. I do not wish to be on the bad side of your brother, Mister Grayson.”

Danny couldn’t fucking believe it. What did he mean that he recognized his face?! Danny had never even been here before! What the fuck?! Apparently some Tim guy was trying to get drinks? Did this bartender REALLY mistake him for some fucking kid? Whoever this Tim guy was just ruined Danny’s chances of getting a drink for the rest of the entire night which meant he had to be SOBER for an ENTIRE GALA. Honestly? Fuck you Tim (not really).

[absolutebl]

Lovesick 2014 versus Lovesick 2024

Rebooting the OG BL, Thailand? Are you sure that's wise?

I don't think anyone is ready for the depths I'm about to go to. But the gauntlet was thrown and comparisons must be made.

Generally when an IP is being remade by a different country I try to cut it slack and evaluate based on fresh eyes and different standards. But this is an actual reboot, not a reinterpretation.

Challenge accepted, Thailand.

A tiny bit of background......

I was one of those who watched Lovesick (LS14 aka the original) early on in my BL journey. No, not when it was airing, but the BL cut when it was first put up on YT (or maybe it was grey first?) hard subbed by fans way back before Netflix picked it up (and then dropped it). So yeah, it's been a while. and I LOVED it. I've rewatched it MULTIPLE times.

I like YA narratives and I enjoy high school BL and that is probably all Lovesick's fault. But nostalgia is a toxic emotion, so I'm trying to give the reboot (LS24 aka the new version) some credit.

But for those who don't know Love Sick is The Original Thai BL. Do not argue. It just is.

The plan is to do a general round up and comparison of broad aspects of script, filming, and acting at the very end, but as it airs I decided to do a "watch off." You ready?

And now......

Boys in Blue Shorts

LS24 Episode 1 versus LS14-s1 Episodes 1, 2, 3, 4 

They did a smart thing tailoring the whole thing down to just the BL thread from the original. And removing the opening party sequence is definitely a win.

However, with less time spent on all the ensemble characters in the opening three episodes, it’s a lot harder to keep such a large cast of characters straight (irony), especially the music club.

Also they materially damage the evolution of Noh & Phun's romance by losing the actual first sleepover and the "eating out with the girls" scenes, which really bonded the two boys in friendship prior to the "water fight crash into me" romantic beginning. By skipping to just the first flush of romance, PhunNoh feels rushed.

* UPDATE!! Spies report in that a lot of the stuff I complain about missing in the 2024 version is in the uncut version on iQIYI. (Which is longer by as much as 25%!) So I am rewatching it there and updating this post accordingly.

We got the entire arc of their first brush with love in just episode one of LS24. Which comes off as fast and cliffs-notes esk. However, it's more in line with modern Thai BL (which is rarely slow burn) and also more sexy and physical, less intimate and emotional. 

I've never liked the first two episodes of LS14, but episodes 3 & 4 are killer. Not to mention important to the plot and to the history of Thai BL.

In the end, because the cutting floor choices impacted the weight and emotional resonance of the main romance thread, I’m (still) going to give this one to the original. But you absolutely must watch the uncut version of the new version, it makes a massive difference.

2014 wins (but only just)

LS24 Episode 2 versus LS14-s1 Episodes 5, 6, 7 

The "Phun sick at Noh's house" is a lot more flirtatious in the new version but I missed the shoulder in the car and Noh snapping at Aim from the original. But I like Noh choosing to be a bolster pillow and offering himself (rather than being coerced), and the near kiss is better in the new version.

The new version also makes Phun more pitiable, like he sees Noh as a place/person of refuge. I like that a lot better for his character (and queerness).

Making Aim’s quandary (and personality flaws) nested in an actual queer crises (similar to Phun's) is a better tactic for sympathy, so this second ep really got me with some nice modernizations.

Phun freezing Noh out strikes hard in both versions but we lost Noh's identity crisis and Phun's crisis of conscience this time around.

The "letting go of the hand" is more powerful in the original, but it was also pretty good in the new one.

I hate to do this but, I have to......

2024 wins 

I say this knowing that the hand in the bookstore is and forever will be one of the most iconic moments in BL history.

If you disagree with me you can, literally, talk to the hand.

LS24 Episode 3 versus LS14-s1 Episodes 8, 9, 10 

The drunken confession, kiss, and the escape to the beach.

No kiss in the new version (which is WILD), but the old version hardly counted either.

In 2024 they have to make Phun have a long term crush and Noh be softer over gay feels to compensate for a tighter timeframe. These changes I don’t mind, but it does modernize the BLness of it all.

I really like that Phun was questioning his own sexuality when he initially asked Noh to fake date, and that the real reason was that he was testing himself. That is, frankly, more realistic to a queer coming of age, and makes the fake dating plot lest stupid. And it makes Phun a more likable character.

The shouting confessions in the new version were really cute too. As was the crying.

But I’m sad that we got no kiss and no back hug or chin down hug.

The original is so much more poignant, and so much more messy and so much more teenage about everything.

I cried in the original and I didn’t in the reboot.

"If it takes no time at all to fall in love, why does it hurt so bad to say goodbye?" 

Whatever way that script is translated, it’s a great line. 

Ep 10 from 2014 is a real dud tho. 

Argh! What to do? This one is a draw. 

No winner. 

An interesting thing about this show i never thought about during my many watches of the original: Phun has a harder time, even though he brought it on himself, partly because Noh is accustomed to being like where Phun is not. Phun, as the rich kid, is used to being envied and admired even respected. But not genuinely liked. The fact that Noh genuinely liked him for him (and not what he has) is a huge reason he can't let go.

I think the newer version showcases Phun's character in general a lot better than the original, and yeah I do think that is partly a superior actor this time around. Sorry, White.

LS24 Episode 4 versus LS14-s1 EPisodes 11, 12 & LS14-s2 Episodes 1, 2 

Earn loans the money and sports day commences.

Necklace drama and Phun’s jealousy, especially in the council room, is better in the new version. It’s just more vicious and petty and appropriate to teenagers. Plus a proper kabedon.

I did miss the face touch, forehead kiss, and “we don’t actually belong to each another” line. 

Argh that was SUCH are great line.

Not to mention the iconic standing in the street:

But, again, the opening eps of season 2 back in 2015 were very much not good, so condensing them down is an improvement.

Decisions, decisions.

No I can't, it's a draw again.

No winner.

LS24 Episode 5 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 2, 3, 4

Sports day continues, Phun thwarts Earn, the overalls scene du jour. 

Earn, the original, remains one of the greatest queer role models ever put into a BL. There is just no contest, sorry not sorry.

He is the King.

The new version has a public shoulder lean plus and epic "MINE" glare. You know I love a claiming.

But the big after party is much better in the old version.

But the switch of Golf’s character to Grace and the reason she left the school is absolutely genius and possibly my favorite change that has been made in the new series so far.

Oh but I really LOVE the drunken bathtub scene in the original.

This is a hard call.

But I simply must give it to the original. (Super props on Gracie tho, nice call 2024.)  

2014 wins 

LS24 Episode 6 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 5, 6, 7, 8, 8, 10

This new version speaks out loud more of the angst and messiness. The original let that simmer and be shown more than it was told. Interesting twist on the video evidence. 

(I love the tiny side couple of tough kid + the dork of the music club. Nice little ship, that.)

And...... We’re done with the beach visit already? The original took 4 eps! Which definitely could’ve been condensed down. Still no sunrise after sleeping in lawn chairs, no confession no nothing. Also lost one of the most iconic lines in all BL by leaving that section out.

It’s a terrible feeling, not knowing where the line is between us.

It’s so good. Hard to forgive the new version for losing it. Not to mention there's no Noh calling Earn to ask for his advice and Earn being torn over what to do with a bisexual crisis. Also "morning kiss krab."

But episode 9 of the original is entirely unnecessary and large chunks of 8 and 10 are as well. I can’t believe I entirely blocked out forgot about the singing competition. I mean, this is me, I always fast-forward through most of the singing stuff, but I forgot this whole part of season two.

Again, I lament the loss of iconic moments from the original script more than anything else, but because of the sheer quantity of superfluous flack in the original, and the fact that the new Phun is the prettiest pouty baby, this point has to go to the new version. 

2024 wins

LS24 Episode 7 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 11, 12, 13, 14

New Phun’s bitch face really is exceptional. I kind of enjoy everybody ribbing the two of them because they have no idea what’s actually going on. 

End of the auditions and the “repairing the couch Earn flirts” scene. Phun v jelly. I do like the way Earn puts it in this one, basically “I can’t fight against you if you don’t even know what you’re fighting for.” AKA you aren’t a worthy opponent. 

He’s nicer in this version. In the original, the confrontation between these two was much nastier. 

I love how Noh consciously winds Phun up in this version. It was really nice to see Noh get a bit of his own back. Of course Phun is sulky about it. He didn’t deserve to be rewarded with Noh’s confession but at least he didn’t let it just rest there, but gave his own back. We lost the problematic “not gay” line in the new version, which is very good. BUT we also lost the original shouting “I like you” across the court for all the nongs to overhear. Which is sad. Plus new version has much less Pete. Original ep 12 was epic.

We lost the phone flirting from the original, which was very cute. So I did very much miss that. 

The party at Noh’s. 

In the original, this has probably the best sequence of scripting in BL history. (Noh & Golf through the door) Where Noh talks about what it means to truly love somebody.

Mostly because they cut that bit out in the new version, I’m afraid I have to give this one to the original.

2014 wins

LS24 Episode 8 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 15, 16

The clip is discovered, the after effects of the party, the showering with Ohm, and the confrontation over Aim.

Okay so the post it love note of sweetness is better in 2024.

The Per/Win story arc never interested me in 2014 and I’m not enjoying it in 2024 either. But Mick & Ohm are better in 2024. Nong Mick is a standout character, and a brilliant glow up in this version. Confident little shit (affectionate). 

Helpful boyfriend Phun was darling. The bits where they are together as a couple really are the best. It’s when the rest of the world intrudes that things goes south.

I absolutely loved Aim's confrontation with her mother in the new version. It was stellar. And something that would never have been depicted 10 years ago.

Ah those classic high school trials and tribulations when your boyfriend has footage of your girlfriend with another girl. We’ve all been there.

Honestly, this is a much more messy and much better break up for Aim and Phun. More dramatic and more public. I like that change. 

All that said we lost Earn and the rejection in the theater. Still this one was an easy call:

2024 wins 

(How crazy, by the way, that as I type this: Ngern is opposite Oat OF ALL PEOPLE in Fourever You, Pineare and Sammy are ALSO in that show, August is finally in a leading role in a different remake, Addicted Heroin, Gunsmile is BACK in a cameo and this is the show he returned too away from GMMTV. We live in wild times.)

LS24 Episode 9 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 17, 18

The music competition ends + the big break up.

I like Earn’s sincerity and open admission in the new version, and I like how genuine and delicate Noh is coping with someone crushing on him. Probably because he knows how painful it is from the other side.

The conversation between Phun and Aim was much better and more kind in the new version, too. 

Noh’s cute pink raver cartoon outfit was everything. 

All in all I’m not wild about the original episodes of this segment. Sure there were a few things that I missed but none that I remembered well enough without the rewatch. So for this and that great communication around the break up: 

2024 wins

Since the number of the old episodes being squeezed into the new version has gone down, I’m assuming they aren’t planning on encompassing all of Season 2 in 2024. I suspect we’re gonna lose the camp in the forest section. Which is a shame, is has some of my favorite scenes.

LS24 Episode 10 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 19, 20, 21

2024 Phun actually turns into Dangerous Babygirl when he is flirting, who knew? (Dangerous Babygirl is a new archetype I have just invented. Yes, I'm pleased with myself.) Noh, who is a nice goodboy, doesn’t stand a chance. Neither does Jeed, since Phun has damn near perfected “back off bitch" face.

The arm drape public claiming, it gets me every time. It has done since SOTUS. I love to see it show back up again in a show that's already harkening back to the early days. It's like they used a trope that wasn't in the original to remind us of the past.

Nong Mick is hands-down my favorite character in the new version. I love him so much I can’t stand it. Consistent Nong King behavior. He uses his cute for evil and I love it.

The dunk tank part is better in 2014 and very funny. The kiss not kiss is a thing (and was a thing at the time) but I'm hoping we get a much better one in 2024 so I wasn't sad to see it left out this time. The one thing Thailand learned before most other BL producing countries was that boys can kiss (but it would take another 3 year and MaxTul to learn 'em good.) The concert at the convent is too long either way, but it’s much longer in the original. So for that alone the original gets docked. You know me and singing. 

That said, Phun stealing Noh from the two girls is pretty epic in the original. Hard to beat. As is Per and the screaming girls. But that Per scene wouldn’t work in 2024 with his character since he's a completely different personality. Also that level of comedy kinda requires Sing to execute.

Finally we get the confession on the agreement become a couple.

Noh is a lot more game and sweet and kind and less awkward in the new version. And since secondhand embarrassment is rough for me I prefer this new one. Sure, it still feels like the 2014 is more authentic to this kind of high school queer experience. (Maybe that’s because Noh's confused awkwardness is old-fashioned and so am I.) But 2024's lap sitting and crying together was truly spectacular.

All in all a hard choice, but I'm afraid I have to say:

2024 wins 

LS24 Episode 11 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 22, 23, 24

Waking up together. first date, the famous piano scene, Yuri's lament + Yuri catches them kissing. 

This is where the teen awkward comes to the front of the class and misspells it's name...... in both versions. And it’s always a challenge to watch because Phun is so ready to come out to the world (despite the fact that he’s more at risk with his family) and Noh is so not ready (despite the fact that we know his family and friends would be happy for him). 

It stands in contrast to their personalities too, Phun who is reserved and introverted, while Noh is cheerful and outgoing. And yet it always felt (and feels) very true to character as well. Noh wants to be liked and he's scared of being teased. Phun is more sure of himself, and with fewer quieter friends.

All the couples are so sweet in the new version where as, frankly, in 2014 one I only ever gravitated to Phun, Noh, Earn, and Pete.

In this episode (11) I enjoy how they're using all these likable side couples to foil our main couple by depicting all the different ways coming out (and being out) can go: from the good to the bad to the ugly. It amplifies the angst and the pacing in this episode and it highlights that both Phun and Noh are correct in their (un)willingness to be openly together. Because they really don’t know what the consequences might be, or even if there are consequences. 

In general, this segement was full of pining, angst, and communication issues and I thought bundled together in 2024 made for a much more tense and engaging sequence than the original. So this was an easy win for the new version (even if I would have preferred a real kiss).

2024 wins 

Also props to wardrobe (HA!) for Noh's off duty outfits. I love his punk goes to Disneyland (with preppy boyfriend) aesthetic.

LS24 Episode 12 & 13 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 25, 26, 27, 28, 34

The away competition, the book carrying, pizza party, meeting the aunt, starting to act like a couple. pun v dad 

I like getting more Phun/Dad conflict backstory in the new one.

But I thought that Noh freaking out and coping with what he had to do to break up with Yuri in the older version was more authentic.

That sad I’ve never been wild about how resistant Noh is in the original to kissing and physical intimacy. That still bothers me, even though I know it’s a sign of the 2014 times. I like the more comfortable physical affection between the two characters in the newer version.

The confession to friend group was good in both versions but 2014 is ICONIC. The teasing Phun was way better than 2014. Still, the physical intimacy was so much better in 2024 so for me......

2024 wins

(close tho)

The matchup is getting a little uneven at this juncture we seem to be jumping around and borrowing bits from other parts.

LS24 Episode 14 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 35

They moved the Pam bit from the end earlier, which is actually a good idea. Although I would’ve removed it entirely. 

They also substantially took steps to fix Phun‘s dad character in the new version. I really liked that a lot. (I guess we know which political party that dad belongs to this time.) 

Honestly? The teaching part (prior to finals) in the original is one of my favorite mini sequences in BL. But the new version was even better. I didn’t think they were gonna beat it out. But they did.

Them sneaking around to sleep together at the camp never gets old. And I mean that, since it’s been 10 years and it still gets me in the throat. So good.

This is a hard call, but if they’re gonna cut out Noh giving Yuri the shirt, and Yuri’s defensive now in the girls bathroom......? The old one is definitely gonna win. As it stands right now I’m gonna give this one to the older version. But a lot of the changes that the new one made I really appreciated so I reserve the right to change my mind after the final ep.

2014 Wins 

LS24 Episode 15 versus LS14-s2 Episodes 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 36

I’m quite pleased that they kept most of the stuff in the forest. And I actually like that they swapped it around so that this was the end of the series.

I think it makes for a better more satisfying ending. I like that they didn’t have Pete pine.

But. Still. Heaven forfend they give us an actual kiss. That part I did find very as disappointing. Frankly, these two would’ve done fine with a smooch.

I don’t know. In the end I think there are points in either version's favor. Neither of these Love Sicks really come out on top.

They’re both kind of representative of their time although this new one managed to be oddly nostalgic in ways that didn’t have to do with the original so much as what they chose to keep about that original.

I think, just because of the iconic nature of that last shot and the breaking of the forth wall that I'm going to hand the final to the original.

2014 Wins

The Leader Board

2014 = 5 points

2024 = 7 points

Other Factors

Script 

When they cut down this show for the new version, we lost some of the greatest and best lines ever scripted in BL of all all time. A few of them could’ve been left in. Because of that, because they didn’t keep the very best parts of the script (which is soem of the best parts of the whole show), despite the fact that they could have...... 

2014 Wins hands down 

Music

The music in the new version was band and unoticicable, but the music in the original was memorable and iconic (if not to my personal taste). Another easy win for the original.

2014 Wins

CAST 

Main couple 

I actually think that the leads in the new version are better actors than White & Captain. I know this comes off as heresy. But I just think they are superior in terms of subtlety and nuance. I also think that the new pair had much better chemistry. It feels like these two were workshopped whereas the originals definitely were not. For couple chemistry, especially at the beginning? 

2024 Wins 

Side couple 

Ohm & Mic had even less screen time than in the original, but not by much. And I have to say partly because of the actor switch between seasons in the original, that I liked this pair a million times better in the new version. 

2024 Wins 

Friendship group

The friendship aspect of the music group (Noh and Ohm's relationship in particular) is incredibly important to this story. Without it, the fabric of the piece feels substantially less robust. Therefore the original has to win in this regard. 

2014 Wins

Noh 

There is something endlessly appealing about the clumsy rawness of Captain's performance in this show. His version of Noh is just so utterly endlessly likable. And he has a genuinely adorable and an appealing screen presence. Progress did a good job, but Captain is just a little bit more charismatic.

2014 Wins 

Phun 

I am a bit of a sucker for a boy who’s good with his eyebrows, and Almond just does better eye work than White ever did. Also he shows and expresses his genuine interest and even attraction in Noh way better, probably in part because of how BL has changed in the intervening decade. But also, sorry White, Almond is just a better actor than you were back then.

2024 Wins 

Yuri 

In the original, Yuri starts out as endlessly annoying, but goes on an incredibly satisfying and quite brilliant character arc to become one of Noh’s best friends and one of the great supporters of his growth and a major linchpin of the show. There’s absolutely no way the newer version could ever compare to the original. 

2014 Wins 

Aim 

While I prefer the actress in the original, I really liked the depth that queerness gave to Aim's character in the new version. It made her a lot more relatable and understandable, even though it was a bit of a copout. It also allowed her to stay part of the narrative. I really like having the mean girl be a lesbian. It makes what she and Phun are doing to each other a little bit more like a mutual beard confusion situation and less like cheating. It’s also more feminist than punishing a female for sexual proclivity. Therefore, I’m gonna give this to the new version. 

2024 Wins

Earn 

This is a really really hard one, since Earn is my favorite character. And possibly one of my favorite characters in all BL. The original source of my ever present second lead syndrome, quite frankly. But, in the end, I can’t deviate, Ngern just set the bar so high. I'm so happy he's returned to our screens.

2014 Wins

Pete 

I know he’s a minor character, but I always  loved poor Pete , and in the original August was one of my favorite actors. (And my number one pick to star in a BL.) I really loved that the new version made both these characters honestly gay, but the original kinda didn’t have that option. Still, despite my love, I’m calling this one a draw since the first Pete won for character and the second Pete won for story. 

No winner 

FINAL TALLY

2014 = 11 points 2024 = 11 points

I swear I didn't intend it to come out that way.

(source)

[itsythebitsyspider]

Silco x fem reader

Took out the slowburn because as a wise person once said, I have no impulse control. Enjoy the smut.

Anyways, I'm also like, way to tired and impatient to edit this before posting, so: fuck it no beta we die like men.

Here's the main things that was asked of me to give you a basic summary of what's going on:

Silco x fem reader, you are a healer, smut.

Pretty sure there was supposed to be angst and hurt comfort, I guess it's there if you squint. I was also asked a 5,000 word minimum so... yeah. Pardon me for letting that slip my mind. Anyways, enjoy this little drabble. I'm going to bed.

Two  years ago you were a herbalist in Zaun. Your parents owned a flower shop of sorts that specializes in healing and harming plants. Growing up, you earned your green thumbs and were able to hold a stable life for you and your parents. That was, until the enforcers came around. They had been searching for four kids who had caused a massive explosion in some fancy rich guy’s lab. You had denied them entry of course, but they never really listened anyway. They pushed their way into your shop, and ultimately ended up setting half of it on fire. This left you and your family struggling for a while, forcing you to take drastic measures. Before, you had only provided people with the ingredients to make the poisons or the remedies. But now, people are paying you to create them. Some of them even paid you to deliver it personally to the target. It was tough at first, figuring out how to distribute the poison without getting caught. You weren’t a trained assassin. But, you weren’t just some nobody off the street either. 

Everything in Zaun would break down at one point, causing most people to have some knowledge of machinery. You had fixed up one too many humidifiers and dehumidifiers at this point to not be able to repurpose them into something new. Leading you to create a small canister that, when activated, would subtly fill the room with the poison. Once the victim had fallen under its effects, you could go in and retrieve the canister, and then make your exit to collect the pay. 

You had gotten so good at this in fact, that it had caught the eye of the smoke-breather of the underground himself. Silco. It had happened once or twice that he’d hire you. Usually to take out some target in some random location. You didn’t ask, you didn’t need to know. Eventually, he asked you to take out a large group of people, larger than you’d ever done before. You’d hesitated, but the moment you saw the money, suddenly all your worries were gone. You completed the job with barely any bumps, and returned to Silco. Instead of leaving with the money, you ended up leaving with the money and a new job. Silco’s new toxicant. 

Now, two years later, it seemed your job had become more peaceful. You found yourself healing more often than you were killing. Every other day you’d get one of Silco’s henchmen coming into your office for some wound or bruise that they’d gotten in a scuffle. It was Friday that was the most important day of your work week. Every Friday you would be in Silco’s office tending to his eye. The shimmer was doing its job of keeping his eye mutation at bay, but the pain would still linger. Your job was to make sure that the eye wasn’t getting any worse, and to dull the pain as much as possible. An additional part of that job was taking care of Jinx whenever you were at work. You didn’t sign up for babysitting. 

“I didn’t exactly sign up to be a babysitter, y’know that right?” You raised an eyebrow at Silco while you started setting up your mini workspace. 

“I do recall you being desperate for cash once.” 

“Yeah, once.” You retorted, carefully handling the glass vials you pulled out of the bag. “I’m well off now.” 

“Would you continue to be this way if I were to relinquish you from your position?” 

You paused for a minute. Would you be alright if you quit? He’d probably kill you. You were too good at your job for him to just let you go. You decided just to roll your eyes and finish setting out the ingredients on his desk. Just as you were about to start working your magic, the door bursts open. You don’t even have to look up to know who it is. Who else is brave enough to slam the doors open and yell, 

“THUNDER AND LIGHTING! THE BLUE BUNNY IS BACK IN THE BUILDING!”

You cursed under your breath. You’d tried your best to teach her proper manners, but they never really took. At least, if they did, she never bothered to use them. “Jinx how many–” Your eyes widened as you took in the state of her. “Jinx!” You rushed over, immediately grabbing her arm and wiping the soot off to try and see if there was still skin underneath all the ash that seemed to cover her entirely. 

“What happened?!” You exclaimed, scrambling through your pockets for a rag that wasn’t covered in blood or dirt. 

“Oh, this ol’ boo boo? It was actually exactly like Silky-boy here predicted!” She bounded over to his desk, glancing at all the bottles you had laid on on the surface before moving to the other side and sitting down, kicking her feet. “Firelights were tagging our stuff. Turns out, they also had an enforcer on their payroll. Which! Doesn’t make sense cause uh- yknow. Bugs don’t have jobs. They don’t get paid too well.” She giggled. “Well, unless they’re a butt-kicking slug wrestler!” 

She promptly frowned. “Mm…” 

You let out a worried sound and walked over, having finally found a clean rag and started cleaning off the blood and ash. “So, explain what happened on the flight.” 

“Thought I saw her.” Jinx muttered, a distant look in her eyes. She seemed frazzled. 

‘Saw who?’ you almost asked, but you knew almost immediately who she was talking about. 

“She’s gone, Jinx.” Silco spoke up from his chair. You had almost forgotten he was there, the man’s presence so silent that he could sneak up on a fly. “Whoever you saw–”

“Wasn’t her. I know.” Jinx furrowed her brow. “Whoever she was, she ran. Like a coward.” 

“Was? What did you–”

“Gave her a taste of underground lead!” Jinx grinned. “Oh you should’ve been there! Pew pew pew! God the firelights really should get better at dodging. Anyways~! I think we’d make a whole bunch more cash if we made fireworks. Did you know shimmer is like- super explosive? The whole airship nearly went BOOM!” The blue haired girl threw her hands in the air, making an exaggerated explosion sound before plopping down onto the desk. 

“Cmon plant lady! Work your magic so I can get to hopping!” Jinx complained. 

You sighed and rummaged through your bag, trying your best to apply the antiseptic onto the squirming girl.  After struggling to put some bandages on, you sent her on her way, and she bounded merrily off to do God knows what, God knows where. Probably figure out that shimmer firework idea of hers down in her lair. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose. 

“I know that look. I’ve made it many times when raising that strange creature.” Silco chuckled, patting the stool next to his chair. You grumbled and sat down, grabbing your vials and beginning to grab the final ingredients. “She’s more troublesome than finding mold in my Burdock root.” You grumbled, shoving the plants into the small machine and pressing a button. The muted whirring of the machine started off. 

“Yet, you seem to care for her regardless.” 

“Just because it's troublesome doesn’t mean it’s something to give up on.” 

You glanced at the door Jinx left through, mind flashing through the two years you’ve known her now. You were only there for two years, but it felt like you’d known them for much longer. The machine on the desk beeped and you sighed, pouring the powder into the previously prepared mixture and stirred it for a few moments. 

“Alright, c’mere. And you better hold still.” 

Silco obliged, turning his large chair to face you. You pulled on a rubber glove from one of the little pockets on her belt and dipped two fingers in, gently reaching out to apply the new salve to his scars. 

“It surprises me that it still hurts after all these years.” You commented as you tried to smooth out the mix on his face. “I’m no doctor, hardly anyone down here is, but I’m starting to think it’s phantom pains.” 

“What makes you think that?” 

“Chemical burns like this would’ve damaged the nerve endings. Most of the time it causes numbness. I mean, the damage it’s left on your face, I’m pretty convinced your nerve endings have just been fried.” 

“For someone who isn’t a doctor, you seem to know a few things.” The man in front of you spoke, doing his best to remain still while you worked. 

“Being the main healer here– other than Singed of course, but I don’t exactly trust his work ethic, I’ve picked up on a few things.” You finish applying the salve and check your watch. “Three minutes.” You murmured to yourself. 

“Singed is the best thing we have to a doctor.” 

“Yeah, I know.” I sighed. “I just… wish there were better options, y’know?”

Silco crossed his arms. “We’ve been trying to get better options for a while. Right now, we have to make do with Singed.”

“Yeah, yeah. Your whole, ‘make them fear us’ agenda.” You groaned. “Look, I just think there’s a better way–”

“And do, pray tell, share the secret to utopia. Because I and many others have been working towards this for years now, and we’d love for you to come and spout some naivety on our hard work.” 

You glared at him. “Okay what is with the sudden hostility? I’m just trying to have a conversation here and you want to be an asshole about it.” 

“Hostility? Darling I am being realistic. You are a good healer. A good Toxicant. But there’s a reason I’m the one running things and you remain in a clean room fixing up injuries.” 

“You little–”

The beeping from your watch saved you from potentially losing your job. You bit your lip and reached for a wet cloth, wiping off the cream. “There. If it still hurts, apply this and let it sit for three minutes before wiping it off.” You said through gritted teeth, grabbing your things and shoving them into your bag before storming off. If you were in here any longer, you were going to make sure he could only see through one eye. 

Sadly, there was no rest for you seeing as you returned to work the following Monday. There was a meeting Silco had asked you to be at. The moment you saw the familiar briefcase with money you knew he wasn’t just asking you to attend. He wanted your services. 

“What’s the job? Based on the stacks, I’m assuming its a group. Pretty big one.” You commented, running your fingers along the dollar bills. 

“Are you familiar with the coal mines?”

You paused and looked up, searching his face for any sign that he was joking or pulling your leg. But as always, his face remained unchanging. 

“Yeah, I’m kinda familiar. My Dad worked there. Sometimes when he’d forget his lunch I’d take it to him. I could barely breathe down there. It felt like my lungs were full of some thick smog.” You grimaced, recalling the air quality down there. It was hard to breathe, and it felt like you were being weighed down. You remember having to go down there and work every now and then when your father came down with an illness or injury. Every time you left, your lungs felt like they’d smoked an entire pack of cigars in just one hour. 

“Could you recreate a version of that very fog?” 

“You want me to do what?” 

“I doubt the people we’ll be meeting today have ever had to work down there in those mines. I can tell just by the way they breathe, even the way they smoke. The way they act so carefree and unburdened, never weighed down by the carts of coal.” Silco’s voice had a slight edge to it. 

“So… an altered version of that? Altered how?” 

“A little easier to breathe through. Perhaps you could rig your machine to release the smoke a little slower. I don’t want them to immediately notice what’s happening until it’s far too late. A little symbolic, don’t you think?”

“Very.” You muttered. Yeah, you could make the humidifier a little more subtle. But making sure they didn’t catch the smell of it? Those mines had a distinct smell. Blood, sweat, and a purely earthy smell. You’d have to cover it up with an even more potent smell. Perhaps plants? 

“What room will you be meeting in?” 

“We, will be meeting in the old observatory in the abandoned astrology building. Do you know the one?” 

“Yeah. I need a few guys to help me set the place up if I’m to do this.” 

Silco raised an eyebrow. “Interesting request, but I’ll grant it. I don’t want to know what you do, the less I know the better. So whatever it is you need, you have it. You need not ask.”  With that, he tapped the briefcase and went back to whatever he was writing on those papers of his. You swear, some days it seemed like Silco did more paperwork than he did crime. 

‘Alright. Take a few guys, handful of plants, and just get the place ready. Nothing too hard.’ All you needed to do was take them to your shop and load up the plants. You wanted them to feel relaxed, so a few lilac’s would do the trick. Maybe some Jasmine? You groaned. You never bothered learning about proper flower placement, focusing more on keeping your plants healthy and alive for your customers. Maybe you should’ve bought that book about weddings and flowers, but you thought it would be stupid to buy a book about weddings if no one ever properly got married down here. 

Regardless, you had taken a few men and brought them to the shop, having them carry the heavier plants that couldn’t be removed from their pots until you got to the observatory, otherwise they might die of shock.They loaded up all the plants into the two trucks and drove over to the observatory. 

It was a mess, Overrun by nature and obviously raided by bandits and such, it was a mess. You groaned and gave the order to start cleaning. It could’ve been a one and done thing, but of course, things were never that simple. 

It took about an hour and a half to get everything cleaned up before you could finally start the careful process of giving the plants a new, temporary home. You pulled out your notebook and dotted down the date you were replanting them. You could come back for them in a few weeks after the plants weren’t so stressed from the first move. 

You glanced around at the observatory. It actually looked really pretty. With time and money, this place could be turned into a pretty good plant nursery. You glanced down at your pocket where you kept emergency cash.

 You didn’t like dipping into your savings. Ever since the Enforcers had burned down your flower shop the first time, you felt the need to always have money in case it ever happened again. Plus, with your Dad’s need for shimmer because of his lung cancer, money wasn’t something you could easily throw around. Somehow the destructive product had healing properties, but in order to actually be able to help your father, it required a professional to apply it in order for it to stabilize his lungs. The product had to be applied to the inside of his lungs. At first, you didn’t hire anyone. If it needed to be in his lungs, then maybe the humidifier you used for work would be better. So a few days later you’d manage to vaporize the shimmer and distribute it using your humidifier. But when you tried it on your father, whatever was inside his lungs acted like a filter, keeping both fresh air and the shimmer out. This forced you to hire that professional, and was the main reason there was a huge dent in your paycheck every month. Your mother had tried to get a job, but she was already far too worn out to properly do anything in the underground. At least, anything that would’ve helped to pay for the medical treatments. You absentmindedly reached into your pocket to trace the lucky dollar coin you’d found a long time ago. If you truly wanted this, you’d have to figure out a smarter way to do it. 

You glanced over at the men that Silco had sent over your way. Anything you needed, he had said, was available to you. Obviously, you couldn’t just ask for the lease to the observatory. The only reason you were here was to make some huge statement in the middle of the meeting. Silco had a thing for making symbolic statements. You swear, he probably had some secret library full of books that had so much symbolism that you couldn’t get past the title without having to decipher its hidden meanings. Maybe you could convince him that it was necessary for you to have an observatory because it was symbolic of the mines or something? 

Or, you could convince him it was beneficial to his business. Silco was always looking for new investments, always looking to better his empire. It’s what made him such a good crime boss, never stagnant, always evolving. If you could convince him to give you a bigger place to house your plants– somewhere that would allow you to get him better, more diverse ingredients, maybe he would be willing to give you the observatory. 

Filled with a new determination, you finished the final touches and hopped into the truck, excited to get back. 

“...you just want it for your plants, don’t you?” 

He saw right through it. Fuck. 

“What? No. If I wanted it for my plants I would’ve just gone and bought it or something.” You huffed, crossing your arms stubbornly. 

“So you went to the observatory, saw the large space and the windows and thought that I could benefit?” He raised an eyebrow. “Sorry if I don’t exactly see how I, a drug dealer who deals in a chemically enginerered drug, could benefit from a plant house.” 

“It’s not a plant house it’s-!” You sighed and rubbed your face. You put your hands together. “Silco, sir. Look, I’ve got an entirely good reason why it’s good for the both of us.” 

Silco pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned back. 

There was a knock at the door. “Not now.” 

Sevika entered. “Silco, you have a meeting in–”

“Not. Now.” He said firmly. “Whatever it is, push it back.”

Sevika narrowed her eyes. “Push it back? We’ve been struggling to get this meeting for–”

“And to teach them a lesson in how valuable my time is, you will have them wait. Are we clear?” He looked up at her. Sevika growled but nodded. “Understood, sir.” She closed the door with a little too much force. 

You were suddenly anxious, feeling like you had just forced him to make some probably important people wait so that you could finish your barely thought out idea. 

“I can go. It’s no biggie, we don’t have to…” You trailed off as you saw his pointed look. The damage had been done. Now you need to see it through. 

You reached into your pocket and rubbed the coin again before speaking up. 

“Look I’m the best healer you have. Along with that, I’m the best toxicant you have. Albeit I’m the only toxicant you have, but compared to any old apothecary out there you know I can outdo them. I’ve done a lot around here, you know that. I’ve killed the people you wanted dead. I poisoned the people you wanted threatened. And I’ve healed you and the people you’ve asked me to heal. I even take care of Jinx when she’s having a manic episode and you’re not around to help ease her out of it! So on top of all that, I’ve also somehow become like a mother to that girl. God knows how much she needed one, but apparently decided she wouldn’t get one.”

You took a deep breath before continuing. 

“Yeah, I want that observatory for selfish reasons. But frankly what botanist wouldn’t? The windows would’ve been perfect if we had sun, but I can put lamps around that’ll act like the sun. Yeah if I crack open a window the air will damage some of the more sensitive plants, but I can repurpose some of the rooms into specific and climate controlled spaces for those kinds of plants. I mean, think of it like this. How many more poisonous and venomous and alleviating plants would you have access to if I could just get my hands on that building?”

You stared at his stoic face. “It would be a good investment.” You finished weakly. 

Silco let out a sigh and your heart sunk, feeling like you were about to get brutally denied. 

“And when would the renovations on this place be completed?” 

“Huh?” 

“The renovations. You said that you could make specific rooms for plants that need special care. I assume you’ll be needing a lot of materials in order to do that. If I supply you with the building and the tools to spruce it up, I expect great things of you. Do you understand?” 

You stared at the man for a moment, feeling blindsided by his sudden offer. He’d never done anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary. Where in the world was this coming from? 

“Do you understand?” He repeated himself. 

“Yeah! Yeah. I- I understand. I can get started on that as soon as I get the lease.” 

“I suggest you get started after the meeting is done. Getting the lease won’t be a problem.” 

Right. The meeting, you’d nearly forgotten about that. That was tomorrow. He would get you the lease by tomorrow? Wow. Perks of being a crime lord, meant that you had a much easier time getting things. Especially when you were the crime lord. 

For now, it was time for you to go home and finish making the smog for tomorrow, and then plan out what you were going to do in your new nursery.

—

Time couldn’t go by any faster. You’d sat through the boring meeting. Well, boring until it's gotten interesting. You smelled the familiar fog, tensing slightly. You were standing behind Silco. You quietly cleared your throat to let him know that the smoke was already becoming noticeable. Sevika took notice and turned around, subtly putting on her gas mask. 

“We should cut a deal and give back the Gemstone.” 

“Better to have some trade than none at all.” Finn added. 

Silco waved his hand. “The border issue is temporary. Jinx will deal with it.” He was about to go on to change the conversation when Finn interrupted him with a laugh, the clicking of his gold jaw sharp. 

“Rumor is, your dog’s off her leash.” He grinned, peering down at Silco, as if trying to make him feel small. You could see the irritation in Silco’s tense frame. He tapped his finger on the desk and you reached into your pocket and pressed the red button in your hand, increasing the intensity of the humidifiers surrounding the room. 

“How can you bring Piltover to heel if you can’t even handle your own people? Huh? Much less that crazed mess you call your–” 

Fin was cut off by a cough. He cleared his throat. “That crazed–” This time, he was subdued by an even worse cough. The others at the table seemed confused before they were all suddenly overwhelmed by their own coughing fits. “What is that?!” “What’s going on?!” 

Silco tapped the table again before standing up. The red smoke began to fill up the room even more. If you raised the intensity any higher, you’d have to put on a mask yourself. 

“You don’t recognize it? Truly, you haven’t the slightest idea what it is?” Silco asked, as he walked around the table, looking at each of the victims with a gleam in his eyes. 

“Oh come now, we were born of this. We came, from this.” He let out a disappointed sigh, as if they were children who couldn’t answer a question in class. “The mines they had us in. Air so thick it clogged your throat. If you stayed in there too long, you’d feel it. Clumps of that sludge slowly making it’s way into your lungs.” 

You winced, mind falling back to your father at home, probably struggling to breathe through it.

“Stuck in your eyes. Blinking the dust out that would get in no matter what.But I pulled you all up from the depths.” He leaned down into the face of another one of the leaders who was clutching at their throat. He gently tilted their chair backwards until he let go and let them fall to the floor. 

“Offered you a taste of topside. The bottle at the bar you could only ever dream of being able to afford a glass of. I gave you fresh air to fill your dirty lungs. I gave you life. A purpose.”

Silco stopped as he reached the other end of the table where Finn sat. “But you’ve grown fat and complacent. Too much time in the sun.” 

Silco was always one for dramatics. But you couldn’t help but admit, he knew how to send a message. You  watched him toy with the other leaders for a while before eventually giving you the signal to shut off the humidifiers. You reached into your pocket and shut it off before collecting the four you had hidden around the room and following him out. 

“Flair for the dramatics much?” You asked, following close behind him. 

“Some lessons are best learnt the hard way. They won’t be doing this again.” 

“What was it they did?” 

“They don’t want to fight for the cause anymore.” Silco sighed. “I’ve spoiled them rotten. I wanted to show them what they could have if they fought, so I showed them what it would be like to live a life like topside. But instead they drank themselves drunk and stupidly believed the world was theirs.” He narrowed his eyes. “Now, they won’t make that mistake again. If I have to instill the fear back into them myself, I will.” He growled. 

You stared at him for a while. Was he always this… no. No. That would be crazy. You shook your head and continued to follow. He seemed tense, too tense. Almost like Jinx before she had one of her episodes. You took a deep breath. 

“So I was thinking about giving you an elephant plant for your office. It gets real stuffy in there.” 

“You want to give me a plant for my office? I think I’d kill it.” He mused. 

“Obviously. You’d probably overwater it or something. Or let Jinx put some spray paint on it.” You scoffed, remembering the time you left a plant out in the open and jinx painted a smiley face on it’s leaf. You had then gone and swiped out all her paints for empty cans in retaliation. The little ‘prank’ war had continued for a while until you’d nearly gotten her to dye her hair yellow, and she surrendered. Now she only painted on the flower pots instead of the actual plant. Progress. 

“Mm. I suppose a plant would be alright to keep in the office. You’d give it to me? I don’t have to buy you some old, run down building or bribe you with a suitcase of money?” 

“Nope. Entirely free. Think of it like an expression of my gratitude.” You grinned. 

“Does this gift come with you?” 

You froze and coughed, as if you had accidentally set off the humidifier and breathed in the smoke. He stopped walking, looking at you as if you were the one saying something absolutely insane. 

“I- I- what???” You quickly ran to catch up to him. 

“I said, does it come with you? If I’m to receive a plant, I’d like my professional botanist to be the one taking care of it. As you said, I’d probably overwater it.” He said, as if he hadn’t said anything out of pocket at all. 

Your face burned red, trying to come up with a response. Sarcasm? Truth? Insult? Silence? All three? 

“Yeah well, the only reason you keep me around is for me to sell you plants and heal people so…”

“That’s not the only reason I keep you around.” 

“Lemme guess, cause I take care of Jinx?” 

“Because I like having you around. You… brighten the place up a bit. Like a plant I suppose.” 

You froze once again, but this time he didn’t wait for you. 

‘He likes having you around? You were  a headache. It didn’t make sense. Silco  kept you around yeah, but that was because you were the best toxicant in Zaun. You’d often have him tell you that the moment he found someone who was half as good as you and half the headache, he’d trade you in a moment's notice. You had only scoffed and finished applying the salve to his face, knowing he was only saying that because he had a distaste for having the thick medicinal cream on his face. 

Other times he had gotten complaints about you and had gone to see what the fuss was about, and walked in on you yelling at his men about being stupid. You had turned to him, turned back to the men, and continued yelling at them. Silco had sighed, muttered about how he was going to inject nothing but pure shimmer into his veins, and left. You swear, you would probably be the reason he got a shimmer addiction. 

At least, you would’ve been. Had he not dropped this sudden bomb on you. 

“I mean seriously. What kind of guy just drops that on a girl??? Huh??? Honestly!” You grumbled, roughly grabbing the watering can and spilling water all over the floor. You cursed and reached for a rag, throwing it down onto the puddle before moving back to the plants. “Y’know what he said? I’ll tell you what he said. He likes having me around. Me. Me! What the actual–” 

“Uhm. Excuse me, are you.. Talking to the plants?” 

You whirled around to see someone standing a few feet away. You were about to tear into them about minding their own business when you realized that was probably a customer. You quickly slapped on a smile. “Hello hello hello! Welcome to Zaun’s highest rated apothecary where our thumbs are as green as our plants.” You winced at the corny slogan your Dad had come up with. You never bothered to figure out a better one. “What kind of plant are you in the market for today?” 

“Not really looking for anything specific. Just something nice. I  saw this purple one in the front. Looked kinda like a dandelion.”

“Oh the Allium? Very good plant, especially for down here. Those girls are tough. They can grow in most soil as long as you drain it well, they’re rodent resistant, which is good for the pests that people like to keep, and they really like the sun. So if you have a lamp anywhere, I’d make sure to put her around there.” 

The person nodded. “So.. easy to take care of?” 

“Yep. For the most part, you just have to water it. They’re tough plants. If you ever have any issues you can always bring her back and I’ll take a look at it.” 

“I’ll take one.”

“The plant or just the flower?” 

“The plant please.” 

“Okay, wait by the register, I’ll bring one out from the back.” You went to the back, going through the array of flower beds before picking up a white Allium from its potted home and bringing it out to the register. “Name?” 

“Diana.” 

“Okay Diana,” You wrote it down on the list. “You want the basic care package?” 

“Uhm. How much extra will that be?” 

“Three silver cogs and seven bronze washers.” 

“Oh, then yeah I’ll take it.” 

You nodded and reached under the counter for the small tote bag, setting it up on the counter. “Your total will be ten silver cogs, or one gold hexes if you have one.” Diana set the money on the counter and slung the tote bag over her shoulder before carefully lifting the potted plant. “Have a good one.” You called as she left. You turned back to the plants. “Where was I..? Oh. Right. Watering the burdock root.” You sighed and walked back into the front of the shop, picking up the watering can where you left it. 

“He’s gone mad, I swear. Jinx’ madness has finally gotten to him.” You muttered. “And he think’s he can just get away with it! No. Not on my watch.” You said firmly. 

“Tch. Thinking he can get away with messing with me. Not in this life.” 

—

“What was I thinking?” Silco groaned, rubbing his face. Sevika let out a chuckle, sharpening her arm blade. “I don’t believe you were thinking.” She replied. Silco gave her a half hearted glare. “Thanks for that astute observation. I never would’ve come to the conclusion.”

“You can be pretty thickheaded.” She snickered. 

“I am not thickheaded.” 

“You are.” 

“Name one time.” 

“Last valentines day you got her flowers.” 

“It’s not strange to give flowers on Valentines.” 

“She’s a florist. She could’ve grown herself a garden of those.”

“...that was a momentary lapse in judgement. I learned, and the year after I got her some exotic seeds from some distant land.” He waved his hand.

“Uh huh. And then that time she nearly got stabbed on a mission and you bought her an entirely new mission wardrobe?” 

“I expect my workers to be properly dressed based on the needs of the mission. Having her get stabbed again would only hinder the mission.” 

“And it just so happened to fit her, and not be some kind of eyesore?” 

“If I were going to get her something to wear I was going to make sure she didn’t look like it was purchased in Zinny’s Zappy Outfits.” Silco scoffed, opening his desk to look for a paper. He set it down on his desk and started writing. 

“Face it. You like having her around more than you’d like to admit. Way, more than you’d like to admit.” 

“She’s an annoyance.” 

“Yet where is she the majority of the time she’s here? Glued to your side, by your orders.” Sevika grinned. “Just be grateful that Jinx hasn’t caught on. You two would be set up on a date faster than you could even say tea party.” 

Silco groaned. “Do not remind me of the tea party incident.” 

“Hey, you’ve gotta admit, the girls got a knack for kidnapping. She hasn’t been caught ever since.” 

“Because she stopped.” 

“...”

“Because she stopped.” Silco said again, narrowing his eyes. 

“Sure. If that’ll help you sleep at night.” 

“Get out.” 

Sevika raised her hand in surrender, walking over to the door. “Oh and by the way, tomorrow you have a meeting with the construction workers for that observatory you bought her.” 

“What time?” 

“Two.” 

“Alright, thank you Sevila. Dismissed.”

“I cannot believe you bought her a whole–”

“Dismissed!” 

—

Your mother always told you that you had beautiful eyes. She said they were one of your prettiest attributes.  Silco also seemed to think so. 

The man made eye contact often. Today, you’d make sure he couldn’t hold eye contact with you for longer than a few seconds. 

Today as you walked into work, you’d already gotten a few looks. The shirt you wore underneath the soft leather jacket was low cut. Showing just enough to be eye catching, but not enough to give away everything. That red little piece was a contrast to the usual earthy tones you’d wear. 

Instead of heading for your office in the medbay like you usually would, you went straight to Silcos office. You had a few things you wanted to run by him for the plant nursery. He was the one footing the bill after all, he had some kind of say in what went down. 

You walked in, making sure the files covered your chest. “I’ve got a few ideas for the nursery but I couldn’t decide which ones I should use. Think you can help me?” You asked innocently. 

Silco looked up at you before looking back down at his desk. “I can spare a few moments.” He gestured to the desk. You walked over and dropped the files on the desk. 

Silco looked up and you had to bite back a grin as you watched his eyes drift down before snapping up to meet your eyes. Step one, complete. What was step two? You had no fucking clue. 

“So I was thinking about different kinds of air conditioners.” You flipped open to the first page. “But then I dripped into the humidifiers and of course once you do that there’s the dehumidifiers and I mean seriously, how many  ‘fiers’ are there?” You sighed, and put your hands down on the desk, leaning over to look at the pictures. 

Silco rubbed his face, faking annoyance. “I regret saying I’ll help you. I’m no architect or home designer.”

“Yet here we are.” 

You started to prattle off about the different things you wanted. You knew you had him hooked when he didn’t even catch you repeating yourself. You adjusted your collar and he looked away, grabbing a photo and feigning interest in it. You weren’t about to let him get away with it that quickly. 

“Ah, looking at the air cubes? What do you think of those?” 

“What? Oh. These… colorful things.” Silco glanced at the pile of papers. “Uh, quite expensive. Are they worth it?”

“I think so. They have reservoirs for nutrient rich water, brain buckets that send water to each bucket so I don’t have to, and it’s self draining. Personally I like doing it myself, keeps me busy.” 

You watched him start to tune you out.

“And then there’s a super charger that sends plant food and makes the plants basically invincible for like four seconds. The sunflowers produce more sun for the other plants, the peashooters shoot a lot more peas. About a hundred or so.” 

“Mhm. Sounds like a good investment.” 

“Yeah but the zombies are always banging on my door trying to eat my brains and all.”

Yeah. You were shameless. 

Fiddling with the button on your shirt and ‘accidentally’ letting it slip. Instantly, whatever part of him was paying attention was gone.Were all men like this? Flash them a little bit of skin and they were drooling dogs? You didn’t entirely mind. Not when this glass of fine wine was the one on the other end of the leash. Just how much more could you take this? Your eyes drifted down to his belt, and you decided you wanted all of it. You looked outside to the barely cracked open door and made a motion for the man stationed outside to lock it and leave. The moment the door shut you looked back at Silco. “Your face is red. Are you feeling warm?” You reached a hand over and pressed it to his forehead. “Is it the eye?” You were so obvious with how you were faking innocence. But he didn’t seem to notice. 

“Ah- no. I believe it’s quite warm in here.”

“Yeah, yeah. I noticed that too.” You let your hand linger before subtly letting it glide down his face before you took your jacket off and set it down on the chair behind you. You slowly walked over to his side of the desk. “So, give me your thoughts so far.” 

“I’m not sure I have any at the moment.” He watched as you sat down on his chest, finally looking up to meet your eyes. 

“Try.” You slowly moved your left leg up onto his chair, placing it on his lap. His hand slowly moved, wrapping around your ankle. “I’m thinking about… you.” His hand slowly moved underneath the dark, flared jeans you wore. His rough hand trailed up your soft skin, feeling the rough patches of your scars. 

“Yeah? What about me are you thinking about?” You tilted your head, a small smile on your face. “I can’t imagine its about anything I came to talk to you about. You were far too distracted for that.” 

Silco chuckled, moving his hand out of your jeans and holding onto your knee. “You’ve got that right.” He slowly moved up your thigh, squeezing the flesh there before rubbing up and down the sides. “I was thinking about that damn red of yours.” 

“You noticed the red top?” You teased. 

“How could I not notice that damn red top?” He let a bated breath slip out of his mouth, reaching up his hand for your belt. He paused and looked up at you. 

“Eager, are we?” 

“If you knew how long I’ve been waiting for an opportunity such as this,” His fingers unclasped your belt with a practiced motion. “You’d realize just how patient I truly am.” You lifted yourself up so that he could pull your jeans down. He discarded them onto the floor next to his chair. You’d find them later. 

Rather than continue from where he was at, Silco seemed content to start over from the beginning. He scooted his chair back and grabbed your right leg by the ankle. “I’ve ignored you for so long. I won’t be neglecting any part of you, any longer.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your foot. His hands slowly began to massage your foot, working their way up to your ankle. He leaned down to kiss you again, this time moving up above your ankle. His hands would trail up and down your skin while he kissed you over and over again. His lips were soft, not rough like you’d expected them to be. You’ve seen him put on foundation on his scars, it wasn’t too far off for him to wear chapstick as well. 

Momentarily distracted, you hadn’t noticed that Silco had made it all the way up to your thigh until you felt teeth on your inner thigh. The feeling sent a sudden shock up your spine and you shuddered, leaning back on your hands for a moment. Silco didn’t stop, continuing to press kisses on your inner thigh. Occasionally he’d nip at the flesh there, as if taunting the idea of leaving a mark on you. He nuzzled his face into your thigh before slowly looking up at you. You couldn’t help but try and memorize the sight. This man. A feared, and respected man. Had suddenly become so pliant with you. As if you had somehow quelled the beast that drove him on this vendetta against Piltover. 

He moved his chair closer. His hands rested on your thighs, slowly trailing up and finding the lacy waistband of your underwear. He slowly dragged it down, but rather than just throw it elsewhere, he took the time to actually set it down atop the pile where your jeans were. 

You, suddenly self conscious, had tried to close your legs. Silco’s hands grabbed onto your knees. “Don’t hide from me, darling. I want to see every part of you. No matter how much you’d rather hide these…” He traced one of your scars. “Imperfections of yours.” 

He leaned down and kissed your thigh again. “Don’t be embarrassed.” He whispered. “I would never judge you.” 

He slowly pulled your legs apart, and you felt exposed. More exposed than you’d ever been in your life. The air in the office, despite its warmth, still sent shivers down your spine when it met the heat that had coiled in your lower regions. His hands rested on your hips as he leaned in. The moment you felt his mouth on you, you had to shut your eyes and collect the thoughts that instantly scattered. A guttural moan left your mouth, overwhelmed by the sudden rush of pleasure. His hands moved down to spread your legs further apart before he started to really get a taste of you. His tongue set out to trace every dip and fold, finding your sensitive spot and then feeling the area around it as if to map you out. He would occasionally switch up his technique, switching from merely lapping at you to drawing out little patterns with the tip of his tongue. Try as you might, you couldn’t keep yourself quiet. His fingers, the sneaky little bastards, had already joined in on the torment without you realizing. While his tongue worked to gently circle around, but never touch your clit, his fingers had already started to test out how tight you were. He let out a hum, seemingly pleased with what he was learning. You barely registered the vibrations, already teetering over the edge of an orgasm. Your legs trembled. You could feel it building as you twitched on his desk. When you felt a second finger– or was that a third? You couldn’t tell. It was hard to focus on both his fingers and his tongue when both were doing so much to keep you from forming a singular, coherent thought. 

You let out a moan, legs instinctively shutting, regardless of the man you had just trapped between them. If he was saying something, you couldn’t hear it over the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. You kept your legs shut, starting to regulate your breathing when he suddenly started moving again. Regardless of the lack of oxygen, it seemed like Silco had taken it upon himself to finish what he had started. Which left you squirming around as all the sudden pleasure reached its peak, and you came crashing down. Your grip on him trembled and you finally released him. He had the mind to stand and move a few things off his desk so that he could lay you down. 

It was then that you saw the mess left on his face. Silco looked down at you before reaching up to feel his cheek. He chuckled and drew his fingers to his mouth. “You’re lucky I don’t mind the mess you’ve just made of my office.” He had started to wipe the remnants off his face as he spoke. “If this continues to happen, I’ll have to get the carpet replaced. At one point, even the desk. All of these, small prices to pay.” He pushed your shirt up to feel your stomach. His hands moved to squeeze and grab at your flesh, almost like a cat kneading a blanket. 

“I’d like you to wear things like this more often.” He reached up and pulled the shirt up to expose your bra. “Of course, if you did, I wouldn’t be able to get any work done.” He reached up and toyed with the fabric, feeling you up through the padding. “I’m not entirely complaining. You are the welcomed distraction in my chaotic world.” 

He looked down at you from where you had remained sprawled out on his desk. “You’ve been oddly quiet. Well, aside from your moaning and all.” 

You stared up at him. You didn’t really have much to say. What were you supposed to say? ‘Thanks for eating me out?’ ‘Hey, you’re surprisingly good with your tongue?’ Every retort that came to your mind was either sarcastic, or some version of a joke. But what ended up coming out of your mouth, turned out to be the very thing that had been on your mind for a while. 

“Do you like me?” 

Silco blinked, having expected some kind of dirty retort instead. 

“Do I like you?” 

“Yes. Do you like me romantically?” You emphasized the word romantically, not wanting him to escape this one. “And don’t use some kind of metaphorical bullshit on me. I want the honest truth. Not some philosophy quote, not your vague little one liners. I want the cold, hard truth.” 

“Nothing about the way I feel about you is cold.” He reached up to run his fingers through your hair. “I do, in fact, like you. I’ve liked you for quite some time now. I like you, romantically. I like you in the sense that I’d like to be with you, as your partner. I like you in the sense that I’d like you to be by my side. I like you in the sense that, God willing, I’d like to grow old with you.” 

“You mean older than you already are.” You said before you could stop yourself. 

He sighed. “Yes, older than I already am. Cheeky brat.” 

You giggled, pulling him down for a quick kiss. You’d rather he brushed his teeth before trying to kiss you after what he’s just done. 

“And you? Do you like me?” Silco asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well I thought that was obvious by now. You think I’d wear something like this for anyone? Work the hours I do?”

“I thought I paid you well.” 

“You do.”  

“Yet you complain about the hours?” 

“Shush you. I’m trying to have a little romantic moment here and you’re kinda ruining it.” 

“My apologies. Continue.” 

“As I was saying,” You huffed. “I’ve done a lot of things I wouldn’t normally do. Just to get your attention. It’s kinda stupid of me. I told myself I’d never do anything stupid for a man. Yet here I am.”

“I don’t–” 

“Let me finish.” You gave him a pointed look and he nodded, falling silent. 

“I like you, Silco. Romantically.” You paused and took a breath. “I want to be your partner. I want to be by your side. And I want to be there with you when you’ve achieved this dream of yours, and we get to live somewhere that doesn’t have break ins on a regular basis, or steal or kill or have to do anything like that to survive.” 

It was a quiet few moments before you finally asked the question. “So, will you be my partner?” 

“I’d be honored.” 

Hello, authors note here. I capped this at 8,409 words. Decided to keep the smut focused on you because it felt in character for Silco to prioritize you over himself. But trust, if anonymous requests a part two or smth I will make sure that he gets taken care of. I took my time with this one cause I wanted to do some plant research. Didn't research it too intently because this is just a drabble, but enough to get a few details. Anyways hope you enjoyed. Requests are still open. Here's my feeble attempt at tagging before I pass the hell out, feel free to add any tags you think should be added.

[phan3145]

Title: Slippery Slope. Fandom: Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Rating: T. ( Blood, Intensity…Implications) Pairing: Eventual Noa x Human!Reader.

***Note: Guys…I literally have no idea why I went this hard with this chapter, it’s 8K+ and not even that integral to the plot, but every time I wanted to cut something I simply couldn’t. I’m posting this so quick and then going to bed. 🙈 As always, comments are welcomed and encouraged!

Chapter 5: Evolution

You

Waiting for the apes to tie up their horses was the longest couple of minutes of your life. You practically launched yourself up the steps two at a time. They had to run to keep up with you as you pushed through the double doors, feet echoing off the tile floor. This place was massive! You searched for some indication of where to go, spinning in a circle as you took it all in. The ivy and growing trees did nothing to diminish the beauty of the architecture, the dome above you holding a replica globe of the Earth taking the breath from your lungs. While the power no longer worked, the tile mural surrounding it still held an ancient grace to it as well. What must it have been like to see it bright and new?

Most of the color had faded, but the blue was still prevalent, reminding you of the night sky before the last sliver of light disappeared and turned it black. The rich sea color faded into the white stone of the building, and squinting, you could almost make out the sculptures carved into the walls. Probably Greek inspired…or maybe something else more ancient. It was all too faded to tell.

A noise behind you drew your attention from the ceiling, to your companions. Soona had dropped her sling, her expression matching Anaya and Noa’s as they took in the same grandeur that you had. You let them have that moment, padding over to what you imagined was the main desk. You shifted through decaying papers and old technology that no longer worked, looking for some sort of directory or map.

“Noa…reminds me of…light tunnel,” you heard Soona say. “Echos…made this too?”

You heard Noa grunt, taking a few steps before addressing you, “What is…this…Library?”

You didn’t look up, responding as you shuffled more things about, “It holds the mind and memory of humanity in it. Everything humans know about love, nature, science, math, religion, language, and history is in this building.”

You thought for a moment you had found it, a piece of color coated laminated paper within a folder, but it only showed where emergency exits were in case of a fire. Anaya took that time to chime in, “ Only know…three of those words.”

“That is why we are here.” Noa said, “Caesar understood…human things that…we do not…how do we learn?”

You figured that last bit was directed at you, explaining, “It’s written down in all the books here, thousands of years of information. Everything that is and ever was…excluding the fall of humanity of course. It’s not like we need that though, we already know how that happened.”

“We do?” Noa asked.

You stopped then, “You know who Caesar is, so you know how he was involved with the fall of humanity.”

“In..volved?” Noa looked skeptical.

“Well, yeah. If it wasn’t for…” you trailed off. Your eyes locked on to an old board hanging from an upper level, three giant letters on it that you recognized. Three letters that were exactly what you were looking for. “We can compare notes some other time, come this way.”

Old escalators that no longer worked took you up a level to where a long forgotten map was. You took the hem of your shirt and wiped the dirt and grime from it, barely able to make out the colors, let alone the words. Somehow, eyes straining from the effort, you managed to make out key letters. You knew where you were going after this. All you needed to know now was what Noa, Anaya, and Soona wanted.

You turned to them then, “This is it. What do you want to know? I’ll tell you where it is.”

The three shared a look, remaining so quiet you wondered if taking charge of their Caesar Journey had upset them. Anaya made to sign, but Noa stopped him with a hand over his. He began to sign instead, but they were gestures you didn’t recognize. You hadn’t learned a lot of sign, but you were picking up on certain gestures and had learned enough to usually understand what the apes were talking about. Noa knew this. It was deliberate, Noa silencing Anaya. The thought caused something in your stomach to plummet. Soona’s mouth opened then, as if sensing your sudden mood shift, gaze locking with yours, but a quick glance to Noa’s hands had her mouth shutting again.

You took a step away from the map then, hand still resting on the surface as a sort of tether. The space was needed though, no matter how small, between yourself and the trio. You were cruelly reminded then, that no matter what, at the end of the day, you are not an ape. They are not humans. You trusted them not to hurt you, and they trusted you to a point, but their full trust would probably never be earned. You are not an ape…you are an echo of a bygone era.

An Echo…and how they never let you forget it. You felt your jaw tighten, teeth clenched as you looked back down at the map in front of you. A month…only a month. A drop in the bucket compared to how long you’ve been alive, and look how quickly you forgot what their kind had taken from you. Look how comfortable you had become with them. Look how much you came to care for each of them…and trust them. Was it mutual though? Their continued silence screamed no.

“Symbols…in books?” Anaya asked.

You scrunched your eyebrows, “Do you mean letters?”

Soona leaned forward, head slightly bowed as she confessed, “We are not sure….do not understand human…markings.”

“Wait, Noa you said…” you stopped yourself, frustration pushed to the wayside for now. Playing back the conversation in your head from your first meeting, you thought it was only Noa who couldn’t read, but apes in general could. You assumed since he knew what books were at all, that his village could read. Noa never brought it up again, and after finding out he was the leader of the Eagle Clan, you figured he just didn’t have the time to learn. That wasn’t the case it seemed, as you confirmed, “Apes can’t read at all, can they?”

“No,” Noa admitted, the word sounding as if it was forcibly pulled from his mouth.

One word, but the impact was massive. They were showing you and somewhat teaching you sign, but none of them could read. You brought them into a building of power, but that power only belonged to you in this instance. You thought the balance was always disproportionate between the apes and yourself, and it had been…just not in the way you expected. Guilt threatened to choke you now, as you reevaluated what their silence and secrecy had meant. If you were who you were months ago, you would let them stew in their own ignorance, but as it stood now? You knew better.

You let out a sigh, eyes wandering back to the map for a moment, “I have a feeling we’ll be visiting here often. For now, follow me.”

“Where?” Noa questioned, the three apes not hesitating to follow you as you began to move.

You went around the escalator, seeing across the way that what you needed was laid out in faded colors and deteriorating furniture. “To the only section that’s going to matter for the foreseeable future.”

Knuckles gently nudged your shoulder, so soft you almost didn’t feel it. You turned, it was Anaya, “Symbols…not letters?”

You hesitated, trying to think how best to explain, “Symbols can be both letters and pictures. Pictures are drawings. See a symbol is…anything that has meaning behind it. Think of…that pendant of yours you keep tied around your shoulder sling for Caesar. That’s a symbol.”

“How?” Noa challenged, looking more confused.

“So, it’s basic design is a diamond within a circle.” You began, stopping at a book shelf, drawing said symbol in the dust. Off to the side, a book cover labeled Learning Your ABC’s caught your attention. “Nothing about that particularly resembles anything to do with apes or ape culture, right?”

There were nods all around, Noa adding, “It became a symbol for the order of Caesar.”

“Right!” You smiled, “But someone first had to give it that meaning. Before Caesar, if someone drew that symbol what would it have meant?”

Confused stares followed your question, maybe that was too philosophical for them. Of course, as you thought that, Soona chimed in, “Would mean…nothing without Caesar…just shapes…the shapes meant something…important to him.”

“Exactly,” you picked up the book that had originally caught your attention, opening it up to a random page. L is for Lion stared back at you as you turned the book to show them. “These symbols have meaning, both the letter and the picture. This is the letter L, and this is an animal we called a lion. It starts with the letter L, this is how we taught children to understand it and make the connection.”

Anaya pushed his finger onto the page, moving across it as he asked, “What about the other letters?”

“It takes more than one letter to make up a word…usually anyway. This book is just meant to help children memorize the twenty-six letters and the sounds they make. The pictures will help them remember and associate the sound with the letter and the word.”

Noa seemed to look around then, taking in where they were standing. His brow furrowed, “This is for children…will not learn about…Caesar from this.”

“You’re right.” You countered, “You will learn how to read though, and then you can learn about humanity as Caesar knew it.”

“Noa…” Soona brushed his arm. He turned to her, “This is…better…Caesar could read…so we should…too.”

Anaya, ever easily distracted, wandered over to a table where a few forgotten books covered in dust remained. He called over his shoulder, “Want to learn…know what our Echo knows…seems easy enough…if Echo children can understand…then should be no problem…for clever ape.”

Noa’s jaw rotated, an agitated huff leaving him. Anaya had picked up a book from the table, turning random pages. He looked to Noa then, who was looking at him in what you could only describe as malice. It wasn’t a look you had ever seen on Noa’s face before, and it was aimed at Anaya, which surprised you even more. Anaya hooted, closing his book and pacing back over to the group.

A nerve had been struck, clearly, but you couldn’t tell what it was. Unless, it was the taunt of it being easy in general. As soon as it appeared Noa quickly let it go, relaxing his body with a hum, turning back to you. “You would…be able to…teach us?”

You nodded once, “Yes.”

“Why?” Soona asked, the question seeming to surprise even her once it left her mouth.

It was a good question though. Why did you do half the things you did for these apes? Why did you decide to trust them? Why did you spend your days with them? All questions came back to the same answer, “I care about you, all three of you. Understanding Caesar is important to you, and if learning how to read will help you better understand Caesar, then teaching you is important to me.”

There was a pause, a beat of silence and hesitation, then Soona reached out. Her hand clasped your shoulder. You smiled, stiffening slightly when she pulled your towards her, leaning her head forward and touching it to yours. You weren’t expecting it, still surprised by the gesture in general. The sentiment was there though.

Anaya reached over Noa to nudge Soona then, “Do not touch…Echo Soona…told does not like.”

You laughed, Soona letting out something similar to a groan as she swiveled her head away from you to look at Anaya, “That…was different.”

“Different how?” Anaya demanded, puffing his cheeks.

Noa and I seemed caught in the middle, catching each others eyes before both glancing to Soona, “Because I…am not you…Anaya.”

Anaya opened his mouth comically wide, gasping dramatically before pointing a finger at Soona, “Not fair!”

Soona and Noa both let out loud hoots, Anaya chiming in a moment later with a disgruntled screech or two of his own. Your laugh blended with theirs, tears forming at the corners of your eyes. You couldn’t remember the last time you laughed this much in your life before meeting the trio. Maybe things just seemed funnier when you had others around you to laugh with. You had to gasp in a breath by the end of your laughter. Soona and Anaya were making faces at each other now, but Noa was gazing at you. Staring more like, eyes trained on your mouth, then shifting to your eyes. His, seemed to be holding a question.

You cleared your throat, not giving him time to voice it. “I’m going to look for a few basic books on learning the alphabet. Normally, I would say don’t judge a book by its cover, but in this case, look around. Each of you pick two or three books for us to take back with us, whatever catches your eye.”

Anaya still had that one book in his hand. He clutched it to his chest, going down on three of his limbs to be more level with the shelves. He began to look and scan for a few more. Soona wandered down the rows, picking a book and scanning through its pages before putting it back. You supposed she was making her decision based on the pictures she saw. That was a way to do it.

That’s when you noticed that Noa hadn’t moved. That question still remained in his eyes, and it twisted something in your stomach. You couldn’t face him. You turned, crouching down to scan the shelf you found the Learning Your ABC’s on, hoping to find similar books in the same area. You could feel him at your back, his eyes burning that familiar hole into you. At this point, you would think you would have built up an immunity to it, but with Noa… you were afraid you would always be affected. He shuffled around you then, coming to rest in the peripheral vision of your right side. His back was to Anaya and Soona, his sheer size blocking you from their view and vice versa.

You tried to keep your eyes on the titles, but they were blurring together as you tried not to squirm under his gaze. A long sigh through his nose, then, “I am…sorry.”

That caught you off guard, nearly giving yourself whiplash as you turned to look up at him. “What? Why? What for?”

He crouched then to be level with you, “For not sharing…the truth with you…I did not lie…but I hid it from you…saw what that did to you.”

“What do you mean?” You asked. “You saw what?”

Noa placed a hand on his chest, “Inside…you were…hurt…when I stopped Anaya…signed things you did not understand.”

“You can’t see what I’m feeling on the inside.” You snapped, turning back to the books, refusing to look at him. To hear him confirm what you thought at the time, somehow did not make it better. The fact that he recognized your hurt made his apology almost seem hollow.

“You are…right.” Noa hesitated, “But I can…see it in your eyes…and when you cackle…you said…can also be from relief…tears in your eyes…and relief from hurt…hurt that I caused…from keeping secrets.”

Your jaw clenched as you pulled another book from the shelf, flipping through it to find a few exercises. You hated how even when Noa was wrong, what he said was somehow right. You hated that he could read you so well, as if he’d known you your entire life. You tried not to let your anger spiral, a tinge of bitterness creeping into you voice as you replied, “You are not obligated to tell me anything, Noa. You certainly don’t owe me an apology for telling apes things you think an Echo wouldn’t like or understand.”

“I tell you…now,” He countered. “Told them…that I had mislead you…about ape knowledge…that Caesar Journey could not…happen without you…the truth…you know more than we do…needed you here with us…could not learn…without you.”

You tilted your head at the books in front of you, fighting the urge to turn, “There was a lot more signing than just that.”

“Told them…it was your choice,” Noa continued. “We speak truth…and if you decide not to…help us…that was your choice…but it does not change…us.”

“Us?” You questioned.

Noa said your name then.

The suddenness, and the softness of it almost took you out of your body. He did not often call you by your name, for whatever reason. You couldn’t help it then, even if you wanted to, you felt yourself shift, slowly turning to face Noa. He looked ashamed, mouth downturned and shoulders hunched in more than usual. His eyes, pleading a thousand different things, searched yours. He said it again.

“You…and Soona…and Anaya…and me…us.” The anger in your heart cooled as Noa continued, “Will not change…ever…because you do not want…to do something we ask…not how this…works…you are free…make decisions about…your life…ape not interfere.”

You hadn’t even realized that was a true fear of yours. Deep down, along with never having their full trust, you had to admit that a quiet part of you also whispered things like that. How dangerous it could be for you if you ever refused one of them. Everyone gets along as long as everyone is happy, right? But…a disagreement, an argument, a demand? What would happen then if you said no?

The fact Noa had even thought about that, showed how much he was aware of the dynamics between you and the apes. More so than you, or rather, more willing to think about it in reality instead of pretending it didn’t exist. Something about that touched you. Noa was always being considerate of you, and your feelings. Having him as a friend, was altering not only your life, but your perception on apes. If more were like him…you let the thought die. Noa was Noa, there would never be another ape like him.

“Though it wasn’t the best time to say that,” you started softly. “Thank you, for caring about my feelings, about my freedom. I’m sure that Anaya and Soona appreciated the truth too. I trust that what you’re telling me now is the truth.”

“It is,” Noa replied, a tinge of desperation to his voice.

You smiled then, bringing a tentative hand up to cup his shoulder, “Then don’t worry about it anymore. All is forgiven.”

He huffed in relief, hand coming up to mirror yours, clasping onto your shoulder. His grip, shifting back and forth, rocked you slightly with it, “I am glad.”

You felt a traitorous smile creep up before you let go of him, shrugging his hand off your shoulder as you moved to your feet. You didn’t miss the surprise or slight hurt in his eyes as his hand fell from you. You were still a little too raw for his touch though, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. You had forgiven him, and it was water under the bridge, but in the back of your mind you still wondered when something like this would happen again. You couldn’t blame him now for things that might happen in the future, so space was what you needed now. You needed to ground yourself and refocus on the task at hand.

Noa stood, looking down at you still. You grabbed two more books at the shelf, stacking them and holding them by your side. You tried in some small way to apologize for shying away from his touch, playfully pushing against his arm, “I think I have everything I need for now, go find your books before Anaya and Soona take all of the good ones. I need to make sure no one has two of the same before we leave.”

Noa nodded, grunting, “Will be dusk…by the time we return.”

You shrugged, “Good thing I’m not the one guiding the horse then.”

He chuffed at that, beginning a slow pace away from you, looking as if he wanted to say more but did not. Soona passed him as he walked away, coming over to you with three books in her hands. She laid them down on the shelf in front of you for your inspection, and you smiled down at the familiar titles your mother had read copies of to you as a child.

Goodnight Moon was a classic of course, and was top to bottom covered in illustrations. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be too boring for her. Then again, though she was an adult ape, to your knowledge, she also had never read anything before. You couldn’t imagine she would complain this early on. Then your eyes landed on The Giving Tree. You felt a pang in your heart, having mixed feelings about the story now as an adult. It was a bittersweet story when you didn’t look at it through the eyes of a child.

Your brows furrowed as your eyes skimmed over the third book. You picked it up, reading allowed, “Stellaluna…I’ve never heard of this one before.”

There was a picture of a bat clinging to the branch of a tree, in what looked to be autumn. The illustration was beautiful, the bat looking so lifelike. You went to open the book but Soona stopped you, gently taking it from your grasp and holding it tightly, “We read…together.”

You were confused by her actions, but decided if she felt so strongly on the matter that you should respect her wishes. You smiled, “Okay, that’s fine with me. You picked really good ones, I remember the other two from my childhood. They are simple, but I think you’ll enjoy them.”

Soona nodded, “Pictures…tell a lot about…the story…I think.”

You snickered, “Well, enjoy them while you can. Books that were written for adult humans, things that Noa will probably be interested it, won’t have pictures in them.”

Soona looked crestfallen for a moment before both of you startled. Anaya, who was on the other side of the shelf, had rather roughly dropped his books next to Soona’s. He tapped them three times with his knuckles, gesturing to himself then to you, “Anaya’s books…good for learning?”

You saw the cover of the first one, another smile threatening to split your face in half. Green Eggs and Ham was very repetitive, and you were sure Anaya was either going to love it or hate it. You moved it aside, humming in approval to see The Rainbow Fish, which didn’t really surprise you. While Soona seemed to focus on books where pictures also told the story, Anaya seemed focused primarily on bright colors and designs on the covers. Still, you had to admit that the moral behind the story was a sweet one. It would be good for him.

You moved that one to the side to reveal his final pick. Unlike with Soona’s, you knew this one. It still made you pause. You locked every muscle in your body, fighting back laughter as If You Give a Mouse a Cookie stared back at you. You weren’t sure why it struck you as funny, and you didn’t want to laugh at Anaya’s choice, especially when you couldn’t explain why to him. You swallowed down the laughter, feeling your lungs burn from the lack of oxygen as you held your breath.

Anaya, more observant than you gave him credit for, let his expression fall, mouth hanging open slightly as he asked, “Bad?…Bad book?…Echo is quiet…why is Echo quiet?”

You took in a large breath of air through your mouth, “No Anaya, it’s not a bad book. It’s actually a very sweet book, sort of funny too. It reminds me of you actually. This is the book for you.”

Anaya seemed confused but relieved, snatching his books back from the table and holding them close to his chest, as if someone would try to take them from him. That did have you chuckling, looking behind Soona but not seeing Noa is the rows and shelves of books. You turned left, facing Anaya and looking over his shoulder. The ape mirrored you, looking behind him before turning back to you.

“Echo…looking for…what?” Anaya asked.

“Where’s Noa?” You wondered aloud before a light brush of your shoulder had you jumping out of your skin. You gasped in a breath, turning to find Noa behind you, “You scared me, when did you even walk behind me?”

“When you were…trying not to cackle.” Noa answered cheekily. Said playfulness disappeared as quickly as it arrived though, replaced with an anxious expression.

He raised the three books in his hands to you. You took them carefully, knowing right away Noa’s choices were not as simple as Soona’s or Anaya’s. On top of that, you only knew one of them, not sure how the other two would fair. Peter and the Wolf was a story you heard growing up as a child, a cautionary tale about being smart but also being able to be brave in the face of danger. It was a bit of a longer read, but still doable with illustrations to help set the story. The other two struck you as odd. One was The Mitten, and it was short enough, but just by looking at the cover you weren’t sure what it was about. You hoped nothing gruesome.

The final book, while being slightly illustrated, was not a beginner book. And the title alone…you had to crack open the book to make sure it was in English. It was, but still the title intrigued you, “Rikki Tikki Tavi…what on Earth? I’ve never heard of this one, and where did you even find it?”

Noa gestured to a reading table behind him where many books were spread out across it. You bit the inside of your mouth, knowing it was not meant to be in this section, but was probably placed there so long ago, it’s reader thinking they would be right back. You didn’t want to insult him, but you also knew he would have to work his way up to this one.

You sighed, “The other two are fine but this one, well…it’s not for beginners Noa. You’ll have to learn a lot before you read this one. If you want to pick another one you can, we can wait.”

He huffed, “No…take now…will learn to read it.”

There was a moment of warring wills before you decided, for whatever reason, he was not going to budge. You shrugged a shoulder, “Alright, the three of you will eventually swap stories before we come back anyway. We’ll make…Rikki Tikki Tavi our goal. Such a weird name.”

“Sounds fun…to say.” Anaya chimed in.

You chuckled, “Always a bright side with you, Anaya. If that’s everything, let’s grab the books and head out. Are we stopping anywhere else?”

This was directed at Noa, who took not only his books, but scooped yours up as well. You started to protest but he argued, “You must…mount first…we are heading home now.”

You stretched your arms, rolling your shoulders as you imagined the ride back. Then, you remembered the jump and you cringed at the thought of how often it would be happening in the future. What had you gotten yourself into?

That’s when you remembered, “When we get back you can leave your books with me, they’ll probably be safer that way.”

Noa and Soona nodded, but Anaya hesitated. He shuffled, asking, “Why not safe…with Anaya?”

You tilted your head slightly, eyebrows drawing together, “The books are fragile, made from paper. Getting them wet or dirty would mean they would fall apart. My shelter is pretty water proof, so…”

Now it was your turn to hesitate. You weren’t sure what their sleeping arrangements were like. You had assumed a few crude huts at most. Apes in the past usually used man-made structures that already existed as their nest, and the ones who didn’t chose caves or huts made from tree branches. Then, there were a few you came across that slept in trees. You figured, since there were no cities nearby in the first place, they probably slept in trees or huts, only now realizing how wrong you might be. You had never seen their village.

Noa, sensing your struggle, came to your rescue, “Echo is right…safer with her…other apes…will not understand…Echo books.”

“I promise to keep them safe, Anaya.” You said.

He looked reluctant, but nodded in the end. With that, the four of you headed out. Soona and Anaya tucked their books into their packs along their horses’ backs, starting to untie their reigns while Noa followed suit. You took this time to put a foot in the stirrup and practically throw your weight up and over, wanting to make the attempt while Noa was distracted. You let out a breath, thankful it only took you one try, and this time you didn’t need Noa’s help.

You turned, noticing the grin on Noa’s face as he tightened the strap on the pack to secure it. Your spear was still there, resting above the satchel, tied nicely but loosely should you need it. You felt the horse underneath you shuffle, whipping its tail in Noa’s face, and you had to laugh to yourself. With three apes, you probably didn’t need to bring a spear with you. Maybe next time you’ll just bring a small knife, or even forgo the weapon all together. After all, with three apes and as many horses at your side, you were more than confident you could protect each other. And, less weight for the horse to carry.

Said horse shuffled again, still tied to the post. You naturally grabbed the mane, feeling it trot in place. It’s jerking movements steadily progressing, until it was almost full blown bucking. Then, you noticed it wasn’t just yours, hearing a whinny from Soona’s horse. Anaya’s horse reared up on its back hooves, with Anaya holding on for dear life. You called Noa’s name, who was attempting to soothe his horse, looking to Anaya and Soona for an answer of what was happening.

Something was definitely wrong.

Soona stood up in her stirrups, one hand still on the neck of her horse in a comforting gesture. She scanned the area, sniffing loudly before her eyes widened, lowering herself and turning towards us, “Need to leave…Noa need to leave…now.”

Anaya’s head jerked in the direction of something behind you, screeching out, “Noa move!”

You had just enough time to turn to see a large, black mass charge towards Noa. He leapt off the ground, using the horse as leverage. He landed on the concrete steps of the library, somewhat off kilter. Ready to move again, stopped only by his horse rearing up again, Noa tried his best to assess the situation. Soona’s and Anaya’s horses followed suit, bucking and stomping their feet at the mass beneath them.

A boar.

You heard the squeal and grunts before you saw it’s next charge, the boar moving faster than you thought possible for something that size. It took everything in you to stay in the saddle, hearing Anaya hiss at the animal as Soona prepped her sling. It wouldn’t do her much good you realized, your eyes landing on the spear just an arms length away.

“Soona…Anaya…ride!” Noa yelled, attempting to free his horse while avoiding its wild bucking and the boar’s charging.

You noticed the triangular path it made, attempting to maul anything that wouldn’t kick it, or would hold still long enough. A damaged horse leg meant death for the animal, some distant memory whispered in your brain. The fact the tusks of the boar hadn’t found any soft flesh yet was a miracle. Soona took off immediately, Anaya’s horse attempting a few more stomps before it too took off down the road.

The boar attempted to give chase, just long enough for Noa to finally release the reigns from the post. The next second felt like a minute as you realized how far away you were from the jump of the barricade. You weren’t sure how long these horses could run, knowing they were used to walking long distances. Boars could chase down their enemies for long distances, like apes they were also territorial. Of course, between now and reaching the barricade, if one of the horses was injured…

Your hand was on your spear before you could blink, your feet kicking the horse beneath you into an immediate gallop. Noa’s snarl and subsequent screech would probably haunt you in the afterlife if there was one. You couldn’t look back, hearing him scream, “What are you doing…Stop!”

You couldn’t, the boar already heading straight for you and your horse. You gripped the spear tightly, reminding yourself that humans used to be the dominant species. Humans road horses long before apes did. You also tried to remind yourself what Noa had taught you about riding at a run. Still, your left hand gripped the spear in a firm hold, your right hand winding the horses mane around it like you had as a child. You silently apologized to the horse, letting the reigns rest on the pommel as you prepared for the fight.

The first pass of the boar was uneventful, your horse easily dodging, and you weren’t ready to use your spear just yet, testing the distance. Noa, originally safe on the steps of the library, tried making his way to you by leaping from perch to perch of buildings and old cars. You were relieved that he knew to avoid the ground. A quick turn had you circling the boar, trying to keep the distance close to avoid a charge, but far enough away it couldn’t outright attack.

It lunged, but you were ready, landing a hit to its right shoulder. Blood coated the tip of your spear now, but the blow didn’t so much as make the boar stumble. It followed through on its lunge, but thankfully a kick to its jaw from the back hoof of your horse forced it away. It still stood though, head shaking as it put distance between itself and you. You swallowed, eyes darting towards your horses legs just long enough to see there was no damage.

You heard Anaya and Soona approach tentatively, ready to flank the animal if need be. They didn’t seem to move forward though, allowing you the chance to take it down or scare it off yourself. You were grateful for the confidence, your stomach wanting to rebel against you as the boar charged again. You jabbed lower, more harshly this time to penetrate the fat of its side, close to its underbelly. This time, it ran away from you naturally. Noa’s horse, who seemed to understand now what was happening, was already circling the animal as you had done before.

Avoid charging distance.

You almost felt bad for the creature, blood dripping from its mouth as it started to incessantly charge and run at your horse. Still, you avoided each strike, Noa’s horse skillfully trotting from place to place as you tried to hit a major organ or muscle that would bring the beast down. Strike after strike, and still nothing, just flesh wounds. You decided your strategy needed to change. Your horse would tire eventually, and the cruelty of repeated strikes wounded something in your soul. The boar wouldn’t give up, wouldn’t leave, so you needed to end it.

You had an idea, but if it failed you were probably as good at dead. You noticed Noa keeping time with your movements while also keeping his distance as Soona and Anaya were. If it did fail, there was a small chance they could get to you in time. With that small hope, you unwound the horses mane from your wrist, gripping the reigns instead, turning the horse from the boar’s next charge and running it in the opposite direction. This seemed to confuse all parties present.

The boar, of course, did what you knew it would. It gave chase, charging relentlessly for your horse’s legs. You allowed it to chase, turning your horse around again to stab once more as you had been doing. Another wound, but still it stood. You weren’t striking hard enough, deep enough. You were too weak, too far away. You sent your horse galloping again, headed straight for Anaya and Soona. Their faces didn’t seem to understand what your plan was, but a quick glance at Noa showed you he had some idea what you were up to.

Your right leg was out of the stirrup, your hips screaming as you kept them wide enough to keep your seat, but bent your knee and tucked your leg as close to your body as possible. Your foot braced underneath you as much as it could, and you tested your weight on your left foot in the stirrup. It was solid. You held it there, turning to see the boar gaining once more.

That’s when your right hand released the reigns, both hands gripping your spear as you did the quickest maneuver of your life. You inverted your stance, left heel in the stirrup now as your toes pointed outwards, standing on said foot, your right leg swung over then in a phantom dismount. The momentum on your left side felt like you had been bucked off the horse, sending you straight for the boar. The tip of your spear was aimed for the center of the boars head, where snout met skull, right between its eyes.

The force of you leap from the saddle had been enough to carry you directly into it, feeling the spear slice through flesh and bone. You allowed yourself to launch forward in a type of pole vault past the boar as it dropped, releasing your spear. The last thing you wanted was to get trapped underneath the animal, whether or not your stunt had been enough to kill it. You hit the ground, nothing close to gently. You bounced and rolled a few feet, hearing fabric rip and your bones shake. You felt the burning of your palms against the asphalt as you made a single attempt to stop yourself before you willed your body into a limp state.

When you finally stopped moving, you felt sore all over. You wondered briefly if anything was broken, but a quick flex of your arm and leg muscles confirmed that it was just soreness. You couldn’t hear anything other than a slight ring at first, senses coming back to you slowly. How long had you been on the ground? You raised your head, the muzzle of Noa’s horse the first thing you saw. The sound of snuffling faintly reached your ears, the hairs on the top of your head moving from the force of the horse’s breath. You reached up, patting its nose with the tips of your fingers before laboriously lifting yourself up into a kneeling position. You kept your bleeding hands clutched into your lap, palms pressed into the material of your pants.

That’s when everything came into view.

The boar was still on the ground, your spear still protruding from its head. Soona and Anaya were heading towards it, their eyes locked on you though. Noa’s horse had moved to your left, out of your line of sight now. It was standing behind you as you looked to where Noa had been. He wasn’t there now, he was…suddenly beside you. He called your name again, the marvel of hearing it three times in one day had a small spark of joy shoot through you.

You tried to focus on what he said, but everything was coming in too fast for you to process. You could see Anaya grab the spear from the boar’s head as they rode towards you. Noa gripped your chin in his hand, turning your head towards him. His face came so close to yours, but you couldn’t back up, his grip iron. He sniffed loudly, his other hand smoothing around your head and digging into your hair.

He looked confused, but you couldn’t figure out why. He pulled at the edges of your shirt and your jacket around your neck, hands trailing down your arms then. He moved on to your back, leaning you forward with that same hand grasping your chin. His other hand roamed the expanse of your spine, swiping up the hair at the back of your neck. You felt his hand move again before stilling, unable to disguise the clear look of shock on his face. When his hand came back into view he was holding the entire backing of your jacket. The frayed ends and shredded middle clued you in to what that ripping noise had been. It basically saved your back from looking like your hands.

Soona and Anaya dismounted then, Anaya carrying your spear as they approached carefully, both sniffing the air. Soona said something you couldn’t hear, head foggy but starting to clear up the longer you sat there. Looking around them to the animal at their backs, you found your voice enough to ask, “Is it dead?”

“You should be dead!” Noa’s booming voice suddenly echoed in your ears.

You cringed away, groaning from the noise, “Not so loud.”

“He is right,” Soona’s soft voice brushed by then. “Whatever that was…should not have worked.”

Anaya seemed very excited as he proclaimed, “But it did…you killed it!”

You nodded slowly, not sure you could trust your legs to stand, but needing to either way. Noa’s hand on your shoulder stopped you. You looked up at him as he demanded, “Do not move…you are injured…smell blood.”

“I do too,” Soona confirmed.

You looked down then, pools of drying blood spreading across the material covering your lap. You turned your palms then, seeing the broken skin for the first time as you raised them up for the apes inspection.

Soona looked very concerned, turning to Noa as Anaya made small, rapid sounding hoots of concern. Noa did not hesitate, digging into the side bag on his horse and pulling out a small pouch of red looking paste. He smeared his fingers with it before slathering it onto your palm. The sting was immediate, causing you to hiss and jerk away out of instinct, but Noa did not allow you to go far with a hand on your back.

Your awareness pivoted to the warm leathery feel of his hand as it touched the bare skin of your back, only then remembering the state of your clothes. Your shirt was still in one piece, but sliced up just the same. Once he knew you wouldn’t move again, he yanked the wrap on his left arm from his body. He immediately began wrapping your left hand, the blood soaking through the first few passes before finally being confined to just your hand.

Noa looked to your right hand, seeing he had excess materiel. He made to rip the band, but Anaya stopped him, pulling away his own arm wrap and handing it to Noa. He said nothing, but you nodded towards Anaya, gasping through the pain of the red paste once more. “Thank you, A-Anaya.”

He grimaced, but grunted, “For Echo…anything.”

Noa finished wrapping your right hand, looking down at your pants as if you had soiled them. You remembered then, that Echo blood is revolting to apes, which probably explains the looks of disgust they were sharing. Anaya pivoted away from the group, taking a few steps towards the boar, then swiveled back before asking, “How…get home?”

“We…will not.” Noa responded with a sense of finality to his tone, offering you an arm to help you stand. You stumbled, but quickly caught yourself with his help. At first you thought they meant you, until Noa clarified, “Too big…hide too damaged…predator will clean for us…come nightfall.”

“But she fought,” Soona protested as Noa spotted your weight, making your way towards his horse. “Her honest kill…must be honored…we witnessed it…that is the law.”

Anaya was suddenly in charge of your weight, Noa passing you off to him as he mounted. He huffed, nostrils actually flaring as he argued with Soona, “Nothing we can do…out here…need to focus on…getting Echo home.”

Soona, not to be deterred, stamped her right hand into her left palm, “It is the law…Noa!”

“Law does not matter,” Noa hissed. He turned his gaze to Anaya, whose arm was wrapped around your waist and his other hand was holding your head. He refused to hand you over while Noa was fighting with Soona, which only seemed to enrage him more. “Will be dark…by the time we get back…do not have time for this…need Echo to be home…to be safe…for all of us to be safe!”

“Why does the law…not matter Noa?” Soona pushed.

You saw every muscles in Noa’s body tense, his breathing harsh as he and Soona stared each other down. You felt Anaya flinch beneath you before he grunted, “If that is the reason…then Noa should have…courage to say it.”

You felt like you were missing something important, but all you could focus on was how upset Noa was. You wanted to comfort him, but even now you felt yourself getting weaker the longer you stood. You allowed more of your weight to rest with Anaya, who had to readjust his grip to keep you upright. Still, he would not hand you to Noa.

Said Ape jumped from the saddle, anger burning in his eyes as he stared at Soona. You thought he would take you from Anaya by force as his gaze shifted, but instead he shouldered past you. He was out of your line of sight, but a few moments later you heard what sounded like the snapping of bones. You flinched each time, the sound sending chills up your spine.

When Noa returned, he grunted. You could see him now, in his left hand were the two tusks of the boar. His right hand, covered in what you assumed was it’s blood, raised towards your head. He paused before touching you, eyes softening as he silently waited for your permission. You hummed your approval before he made, what felt like, a W between your brows on your forehead.

Soona came towards you then, placing a hand on the top of your head, Anaya’s hand already occupying a side. Noa placed his on the remaining space, saying, “You have protected…the Eagle Clan…with this honest kill…in front of the witnesses…of your bravery…in the name of the elders who came before…as Master of Birds I…honor you now.”

You felt their hands, all but Anaya’s anyway, leave your body then. You remained confused, feeling as if something important had just happened, but you weren’t sure what. You supposed it was the clan’s way of thanking someone.

Soona looked to you then, patting your cheek, “Very proud…amazing Echo.”

Anya hooted lowly, “Very honored…Noa will explain…later.”

“We must go now,” Noa grunted as he mounted his horse once more.

Anaya did not hesitate to help hoist you into Noa’s waiting arms now. Once you were settled, a whimper catching in the back of your throat as the spreading of your legs hurt the places where your thighs had hit the asphalt. You tried to massage the pain away, but it was too deep set in. You closed your eyes, willing to grin and bare it until you were tucked into your bed tonight.

“Anaya…Soona,” Noa called. “Lead the way…home…will follow you…keep eye on Echo.”

Both apes nodded, Anaya making a hand gesture that you did not catch in time. Just in case, you signed back, Do not worry. Echo fine.

As the group made their way towards the barricade, you heard Noa whisper, as if he did not want to be heard by the other two, “Do not…do that again…very dangerous…could have been…hurt worse.”

You hummed, “I’ll try not to.”

“You are too intelligent...to be this foolish” Noa huffed.

Your brow creased, “A simple thank you would be enough. Y’know Soona’s sling, couldn’t have killed it. If it would have ripped into one of the horses legs you would have had a dead horse on your hands. I know you care for your horses just as you do your eagles.”

You were unprepared for the horse to run, your body a rag doll as Noa’s arm once again wrapped around you. The jump came and went so quickly, though you did yelp in pain when it landed. Noa’s grip did not leave you, and you allowed yourself to lean back against him. You were so tired, the setting sun reminding you that there was still an hour ride ahead of you.

Noa sighed, “Did thank you…and yes…I know…still…do not put yourself…in danger again…you are safe…with us…we can…protect you.”

“I know,” you mumbled. “I just wanted to help.”

You felt Noa’s other hand come up to stroke his fingers through your tangled hair. Something about that seemed odd, but you couldn’t pinpoint why as the pain slowly dulled the longer you rode. The gentle rock back and forth seemed to soothe you further. You jerked, almost falling asleep before crashing back into your body. You forced your eyes open then, trying to stay awake.

Noa chuckled, “You are tired…rest.”

“I’m okay,” you replied.

“Your body wants sleep,” Noa replied. “Listen to it and give it…what it wants.”

You hummed, feeling Noa pull you in closer to him. Your entire weight braced on his chest. He was warm, and as you let your eyes slip closed, you felt your head swivel to rest in the crook of his neck where it met his shoulder. You could hear his heartbeat, it was strong and steady, adding to the warmth of him and the rocking of the horse. You would lose this battle with sleep.

You felt Noa’s arm tighten around you, securing you to him. “Sleep…I have you.”

You were already half asleep when you whispered back, “You always do.”

[revenantghost]

Tristamp Wolfwood is a bit different than his counterparts, yeah? And I don’t mean that in a bad way, Orange is going somewhere with it, but it’s very different from what they’ve done with Vash and Meryl imo. With them, I feel like we got a glimpse of pre-canon. With Wolfwood... Orange is up to something, and it goddamn terrifies me. I love him dearly, he has some many moments that make me smile and go, “Yeah, that’s Wolfwood, my beloved asshole.” But it’s different. Oh so very different.

I’m just gonna point out a few examples of things I think are different enough to note here (drawing comparisons from Trimax since that was the source for Tristamp, but I’ll try not to spoil much--just don’t Google names you don’t recognize), and then go a little off the rails with a couple theories (spoilers there, click the read more at your own peril). This is DEFINITELY not everything, and maybe my takes are a bit off, idk. If there’s something you’ve picked up on, definitely feel free to add it!

Well, here goes:

My dude is a mess. Wolfwood is typically put together and some would call him smooth (he’s a mess inside always, though) in his other incarnations. Orange pointed out at Sakuracon that the characters are supposed to look younger and more immature in Tristamp, and Wolfwood specifically is supposed to look like he can’t dress himself (lmao). They said they have their reasons but just didn’t have time to explore them in canon. So, I can make assumptions, but I’ll wait to see what comes in the future.

Another one that staff talked about in a recent interview is that Wolfwood is technically a priest according to his contract, but he calls himself an undertaker. Yeah, yeah, edgelord Tristamp Wolfwood and all that, but I’ve seen people call back to how, in the manga, it’s Vash that always takes the time to bury the dead. Wolfwood even chews him out a bit for this. But it’s literally in our introduction to him in this version. He carries the weight of the dead with him enough to make it part of his title, and that’s different for him.

I could be misremembering with this one. But I distinctly remember being surprised when I read Trimax because Wolfwood going into the Eye of Michael seemed more of his own choice than it is in Tristamp (not that a literal child could consent to, you know, torture and abuse)? But either way Wolfwood loathes the Eye of Michael from the get-go here, he doesn’t stay by choice and actively tries to escape. Just like all these choices he makes in Tristamp (which is MASSIVELY different in general), he does it for someone else. He can’t try to escape again, because they have Livio.

Speaking of! Livio!!! This was another thing that caught me by surprise going from Tristamp to Trimax, their relationship is so much different here, so much softer and it hurts in a beautiful way. I feel like less is more here to avoid spoilers, but this introduction pre-Trimax-canon and any future conflict with this backstory... is very different.

Holy hell, a moment like this happening so early?! Vash and Wolfwood having ideological differences and not understanding each other takes up so much time in Trimax. But over the course of three episodes, we go from Wolfwood killing someone that Vash wanted to save (props to Tristamp for making that gutpunch even more personal, ouch--though points deducted for not having the, “Shoot,” moment there), to Vash seeing how very similar they are and getting a grasp of why Wolfwood is the way he is. Wolfwood is so much softer in Tristamp. He’s way more emotional, he cares so deeply for things outside of himself, and he doesn’t have that apathetic bitterness. Staff have said that our main characters will be a lot more recognizable post-timeskip, so some shit is gonna happen to this man, but this is a fundamental shift in the early days of their relationship.

AGAIN!!! Wolfwood is doing this whole mission, betraying Vash, to save the orphanage. He didn’t have to listen to Vash trying to save the sandsteamer. It doesn’t matter if Vash is pissy if Wolfwood blew up the ship to save the orphanage, because that’s his end goal. He has a giant laser that just blew through an entire giant worm, this ship is nothing. Wolfwood’s trying to cling to the monster that he sees himself as, trying to stay the Punisher, but he’s not. He already has enough faith in Vash to trust him with everything he cares about. This takes a lot of development time for Wolfwood to trust Vash like this in Trimax--and even in the very end, he still doesn’t trust Vash with this. (If you know, you know.)

AGAIN!!!!! Wolfwood cares!!! He does not need to question if Vash is sure, if he thinks he can make up with or convince Knives or whatever, in fact he shouldn’t. He should give Vash no reason to question getting to July. But Wolfwood, be careful, your feelings are showing. Wolfwood’s getting worried about Vash. Even though all he needs to do is keep his head down and get this dork to July.

This was never Trimax Wolfwood’s motivation. Whatever drove him left him hollow and empty, he did not care. Even when he saw things starting to go south and he wanted out, Vash ended up being right: he was too much of a coward to do anything about it. (If you know, you know.) I had wondered, after Legato tried to bulldoze everything he loved, why the hell didn’t Wolfwood just desert the mission and team up with the gang. He already has such a deep connection with them. But this would be why.

WOLFWOOD IS NO LONGER CONTRACTED BY THE EYE OF MICHAEL AT THE END OF THE SEASON??? Some people say that Wolfwood still works for them, but tbh for what reason? They’re about to end the world. And then what about this line? He wouldn’t exactly have a choice, would he? I do think we’re gonna meet Chapel (right before Livio shoots himself, you’ll hear a voice and see a silhouette (not Razlo, though he’s there too) that seems to be a “new” character), and Wolfwood might end up working under him for some fucked up reason... But if not, this changes everything. It already changes everything considering how big Wolfwood escorting Vash to Knives is. But that’s done now. And because Vash saw right through him the first time, if Wolfwood comes back to do the same thing again, it might feel cheap and a little silly.

MERYL!!! Trimax is basically the Vash and Wolfwood show, right? The girls are around, but mainly their interactions are with Vash. But he and Meryl interact so much just over the course of twelve episodes. They even have that adorable group shot. She matters enough that he came back to rescue her, and the two of them worry about Vash together in the finale. Who knows what happened post-finale, but Wolfwood’s self isolation is already shot to hell. He’s more big brother Nico than he’d had the chance to be in awhile, he has so many people to care for.

So the danger has passed, Vash’s roots are back inside of him, the orphanage should be fine. But Wolfwood comes back for them. Yeah, yeah, the stupid cigarette excuse, but this is Wolfwood, not Vash. He didn’t come back because of the cigarette debt and we all know it. (Also kinda hoping that him saying what he does about fighting Knives being crazy is foreshadowing for some ridiculous 1v1 fight between them, had to throw that in there)

Now, theories Trimax spoiler time bby (I’ll also post any corrections under the cut):

EDIT 1: I was bonkers wrong on the Tristamp timeline (it takes place from May 25th to July 21st, not including the epilogue), so I just deleted that bit from the og post. I cannot remember where I got that number in my brain.

They are doing something with this man and I hate it as much as I love it. Every other character can go off and follow similar paths but they just nuked the entirety of Wolfwood’s storyline by having him be finished getting Vash to Knives and him choosing to trust Vash so goddamn early. And in less than a week of canon time!!! ORANGE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!

They’ve knocked everything out of the park so far, I had so many concerns about what they were doing while watching, and they squashed most of them. So I choose to have faith that Orange has a brilliant plan that will crush my emotions in mind. It will probably eviscerate us just like Trimax did. But I have two theories as to how this could go:

First: And by far the most likely: all roads lead to that goddamned couch. They changed a ton of things, but just to make it all hurt in a new and exciting way. Don’t get me wrong, this was the final straw in making Trimax one of my favorite manga ever--Wolfwood’s character arc is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever read. I’m a bit nervous because we’ve already shifted that arc so much, but there’s a lot of room to fuck us all up in this one. I imagine the final confrontation will still be between the two brothers, but I imagine the context will be different.

Wolfwood’s already chosen to spare Livio, so that won’t be the clincher, but there are so many things that Wolfwood wants to fight for now to use against him. Something in the timeskip will probably firm up his ideals to be the opposite of Vash’s in a different way than before, but I imagine we’ll get at least a season of them being goofy and learning how to live and regain their humanity together before they’re couched. :’) And now the girls are going to be a bigger part of it to make the grief all that greater :’))) Thanks in advance, Orange :’))))))

Second: No couch??? I know, then what would be the point? He’s doomed in every universe, how will it be as powerful if they don’t do that here??? And I agree, I think this is way less likely. But Wolfwood has already accepted the power of anime Jesus friendship into his life, and that’s a huge part of what lead to his death. Not that I don’t think it’s still likely for Tristamp Wolfwood to think it’s too much to ask Vash to step away from the conflict with Knives for whatever his personal struggles are, but... man that sandsteamer incident is foreshadowing something and I’m afraid. It shifted so much in a way that is so significant, I feel like I’m not doing it justice with my words.

Speaking of possible foreshadowing: Wolfwood isn’t the product of random experimenting like he was in Trimax, he’s the product of plant experimentation. And Vash can heal plants. Again, that’s a big ol’ stretch, as I think that they made the Gung Ho Guns a product of plant experimentation to try and explain the magic powers they all have, and it’s a very smooth idea imo. But it haunts me. Also, given that Conrad has probably been kept alive through fucked up plant methods and how long Rollo remained the same, and Conrad said the only flaw in his experiments were that they had to eat and drink... does Wolfwood and Gung Ho Gun friends have an extended lifespan??? Okay, getting off topic, sorry :’D

Basically, Wolfwood has already made huge leaps and bounds in trusting Vash, even listening to Meryl, and growing a heart for humanity. To the point I was half-afraid this guy was going to die in the finale, because we’ve already seen so much of his character arc. (It would have been a poor choice and I’m happy it didn’t happen EVEN IF I’M STILL AFRAID). And he’s based off of Trimax Wolfwood quite heavily! You can see it in the core of his personality still!!! WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO WITH HIM???

I doubt either of these ideas are going to be quite right, watch as Orange works in a secret, third thing that I can’t even imagine lmao. But this has been driving me absolutely bonkers and I had to share. This is still Wolfwood, and I have a feeling he’s only going to be more and more of the lovable asshole from here on out. But I have no idea where we’re going with it.

Holy hell, this was a long post. If you made it to the end of my insane ramblings well, uh... congrats??? I hope it was somewhat worth the read???? I’m so sorry?????? Thank you??????????

[relaxxattack]

ok yeah lots of memes about how the shitty new UI is literally a direct carbon copy of twitter and we hate it because of that, yea yea

here’s some actual/extra reasons why the UI itself is shitty beyond the fact that it’s stolen from twitter (in just my personal opinion)

it’s claustrophobic as hell. the old UI felt breathable, felt like you could scroll and actually look at your posts, and now there’s enough shit going on on one page that it actually gives me a headache. (i’ve heard other people say this as well, so maybe it’s not just me that’s overstimulated by all the fucking noise on the dash?)

the ‘dash sorting’ (for you / your tags / what you missed) is way too high up the page now and appears crowded against the top where things like the bookmarks bar are on most browsers. not that anything in this new UI isn’t crowded.

i’ve seen it mentioned plenty already, but there’s quite a lot of unnecessary duplication-- as in, the same buttons that exist in the new left navigation panel show up on the right in blog view, which is just completely annoying and unneeded clutter.

the fact that post interaction options are all on the right side of the posts, but dashboard navigation is now all pushed to the far left of display, is extremely annoying. i’m right-handed, so it’s extra annoying for me to have to constantly go all the way over there. maybe that’s easier for left-handed people, but if the case was supporting diversity, why not just put an option in dashboard preferences to switch the side of ALL the controls? because the post interactions are still on the right.

while we’re on the subject-- tumblr’s original design was actually MUCH more intuitive and easy to navigate. the reason for this is that everything you needed to click was in one small area. you scroll up and down the dash, move slightly up to navigate (home/asks/notifications) and slightly down to the side to interact with a post (reblog/reply). extremely simple, easy to use, even ‘lazy + addicting’, which is what all social media studio exes are supposed to want right now. changing the ui to actually be more work and more frustrating to navigate seems completely opposed to what their obvious business strategy should be.

tumblr’s original design was also much more breathable, with the small icons in the corner looking organized and not taking up much space, and lots of room for the posts themselves to be the main attraction.

there’s the fact that copying someone else’s brand entirely actually just puts you in a bigger, wider pool with much more competition, and makes you much more likely to immediately fall short of that and go bankrupt.

tumblr's original purpose was to be geared toward blogs, and these updates, along with the writing on the wall about blog themes being completely phased out soon, is completely against the original purpose. although sometimes website purposes change for the better, so take that as you will.

and finally the obvious point that you can tell from all the memes: this change is almost universally hated by the core tumblr userbase-- aka the site’s loyal consumers for years and years. driving out their main demographic seems like a very obvious, very quick way to lose a lot of fucking money. they also did this “carbon copy of twitter” update literally just a week after sitewide protest about the idea of this site being anything like twitter, so it feels like a massive Fuck You to literally all of the users. tumblr is rapidly approaching their trust thermocline, and show no sign of slowing down.

these are just my opinions about the ui, and i’m only one person. so feel free to add on other design flaws you think people should be aware of or able to mention! i will probably also be submitting this post as feedback to staff, and will be taking their surveys when i can as well.

[survivalove]

Air Temple Island, the Water Tribes & the Real Life Influences that bring them together

I was gonna screenshot a post I saw and add it to my post but I don’t feel like giving that individual attention (and the 300+ notes they got), so I just decided to make my own standalone post debunking this narrative that air temple island is this fully air nomad brothel (yes they said this) with ZERO water tribe motifs which katara is forced to live in until aang passed away.

frankly it just reminded me of how little people in this fandom actually bother to analyze the actual content, instead preferring to write entirely made up scenarios of katara being reduced to an air nomad incubator along with dozens other female acolytes (yes they also said this lmao. also them acting like both male AND female acolytes weren’t living on the whole other side of the island 😭)

when in truth, i’ve come to find a lot of elements of both water tribes as well as traditional inuit elements across air temple island:

1. the paifang

a traditionally chinese element that for some reason is exclusively found in the northern water tribe (why do they have a gate inside a throne room, you ask? ask the white people that made this show). the one on the left is actually one of two aang BUILT, at the main entrance and another at the temple entrance. this is just one example of water tribe design on the island.

2. the bagua mosaic

another structure is the bagua mosaic on the training grounds. bagua is a set of traditional chinese symbols of the cosmology, taoism. the bagua composes of 8 sets of broken or unbroken lines that represent yin and yang. where have we seen yin and yang in the original series? oh yeah, as tui and la of the water tribe! (because atla is a mess of asiatic and indigenous motifs joined together and spread out across each nation, mainly traditionally chinese elements at that.) aang building this right next to the air nomad training grounds is a symbol of the dual bending heritage their children will have.

3. gold and blue accents

now, gold and blue are the main colors of the exterior structures but is also very strong inside the air temple itself. note, the massive air nomad symbol designed fully in blue in the center and the blue banners and rugs throughout the temple. this is no doubt, for me, a visual depiction of both katara and aang’s representative cultures, but of course this is not limited to color only.

4. cloud carvings

now, this is a slight detour since clouds aren’t a significant part of either of their individual cultures (that we know) but i love the kataang monopoly they have on clouds as a couple so i’m talking about it. if you look at these images very closely what do you see? CLOUD CARVINGS!! specifically near the ceiling of the pavilion (left) and the arches and walls of the temple (right) just imagining aang painting and etching these very consistent swirls, like he’ll never be the selfish inconsiderate unromantic loser you people want him to be, but let’s get more into the southern water tribe style interior.

5. interior design

so here is a southern water tribe white lotus outpost vs the air temple island main dining room. first thing, the seat cushions and rug! while we don’t see air nomad eating quarters we do get to see enough SWT customs both in atla and lok, to know this is how they traditionally eat compared to the north (limiting myself on pics cuz mobile).

another thing is the dining table itself. both have what i believe to be built in fire pits (i couldn’t actually tell for the air temple island one cuz of the quality but if you zoom in you can see the lines go in the table plus the hanging kettle on it makes it obvious to me idk). the southern water tribe one however is clear and likely a more traditional version of what aang and katara have.

thirdly, the exposed timber on the ceiling. i actually looked it up and found this is a common element of these two inuit structures: left is an aasiaat peat house and right is an igloolik turf house. all this for me to believe not only did aang build air temple island to be a haven for the TWO of them but also that katara herself had a lot of input on the interior than people care to notice lol.

maybe instead of projecting these loser fantasies of katara being some unwilling air nomad baby making machine so you can feel better about your fantasies of katara living in a red palace with people that tried to wipe her out for a whole century, you all can go study the actual canon you were shown and the real life cultures the franchise takes from.

6. lastly, some of my own headcanons/stuff i want to see in the movie

the bathroom because I LIVE for a white marble tiled bathroom. i just know katara has to have a HUGE tub and they have one of those insane glass showers that can fit like 3 people, with cloud swirls everywhere because aang clearly got it like that

the KITCHEN, i imagine it being timber like the dining room and is probably on the other side behind the built-in shelf (get into the details like hello). in a perfect world, it would be open plan but hey

the bedroom, now we saw it in lok a bit but i wanna see it in the gaang movie too. i’m on pic limit but there’s a lot of artwork and flowers throughout the whole house which i give katara credit for because I can. like the desk, the bookshelf, that fancy looking vase thing? these two clearly have taste like don’t talk to me rn

I also didn’t show the rooms and aang’s study but there’s a lot of blue decor in those places which makes me think katara decorated the whole house, even the acolytes’ hall has blue sitting cushions and columns which i think is such a nice detail.

if you guys have any air temple island headcanons of your own please reply with some i’m feening lol

big shoutout to this user:

atla-annotated (their page is so great and filled with a lot of incredible information if you guys like this sort of stuff)

[gremoria411]

Zeon Remnants: Why so many?

*Spoilers for most of the Universal Century Below*

So a common criticism of Universal Century I see is that it’s essentially all Zeon Remnants, all the time. That it every antagonist to the Earth Federation is either a Zeon remnant or related to such and it makes the universal century feel smaller.

That is 100% a valid criticism.

However, it’s not something I particularly notice as a problem, so I figured I’d make a post delving into my reasons why. I’ll be talking about each of the “main” Zeon groups (The Principality of Zeon, The Delaz Fleet, Axis Zeon, Char’s Neo Zeon and The Sleeves) and I’ll talk about why Zeon are so frequently the antagonist. Alright, enough preamble, let’s get on with it.

Why don’t I have a problem with Zeon always showing up, all the time?

Because I usually consider each Zeon group its own thing. Like, yeah the aesthetics and some mobile suits tend to match up but they typically have…. If not different goals, then different cultures. It’s not just the same thing all the time.

I’ll be dividing them by roughly four factors:

Motivations - *Why* are they fighting, how unified are they?

Size - big force or little force, since it affects how they fight.

Newtypes - Oh hey, it’s just possibly one of their more important contributions to the setting in general. Kinda important. Focusing more on how they’re used and how they’re seen.

Mechanics - Mobile suits and overall tech level for the time.

The Principality of Zeon

First up, the good ol’ Principality of Zeon. The P of Z, if you will. Founded by Degwin Sodo Zabi in the aftermath of Zeon Zum Deikun’s death in U.C. 0068. Rapid Militarisation of Side 3 (Munzo), the colonies composing Zeon followed, with what would become the One Year War being declared in UC 0079. It’s sometimes known as “The Duchy of Zion” in older translations.

It’s a little unclear *why* war was declared, but the official line and the view of the average citizen would be that it was a war of Independence from the Earth Federation. Zeon Zum Deikun (who Zeon was named after) was the father of Contolism, a philosophy that combines two major elements:

Elseim - The Earth is Sacred, and must be protected (The Earth is Humanity’s Cradle, but man cannot live in the cradle forever-type stuff, with a big focus on environmentalism).

Sideism - All Space Colonies should be independent from the Earth Federation (This is where all the “Those whose souls are still bound by gravity”-type stuff comes from).

And nestled riiight in the middle of those two is the Newtype Theory, which postulates that ascending into space is the next stage of mankind’s evolution, giving rise to a “new type” of individual, with the ability to communicate over great distances and divides.

Due to Class divides and economic disparity between the Earth Federation “elite” and the Space Colonists (particularly those in Side 3), Contolism was massively popular, with Zeon Zum Deikun being raised to leader of Side 3. However, he died suddenly and (apparently) appointed Degwin Zabi as his successor. Degwin would instigate a purge of Zeon’s most loyal followers, and place his children in high ranking political positions, ruling the Principality of Zeon as absolute dictator. It’s unclear if Degwin declared war as the logical conclusion of the Contolism Philosophy to wrest Earth from the Federation, if he viewed it as a way to secure greater power or if he genuinely wanted to rule the entire earth sphere.

What I’m getting at here is that your average Zeon soldier believes he is fighting for the Independence of the Space Colonies and the safeguarding of Earth against the Federation Elites who seek to exploit it. The higher command however, is incredibly fractious, since each one is operating under a different member of the Zabi Family, and so there tends to be a lot of friction. Even if Zeon had won the OYW, it’s likely it would’ve had to deal with a Civil War at some point or another (dependant on which members of the Zabi family survived).

Zeon is also notable in that it’s the single largest organisation here, and since mobile suit combat was relatively new, it fought with a lot more variety than any of its successors, such as tanks and mobile armours. It also had the advantage of, with the notable exception of the RX-78 and its derivatives, being far better off than the Earth Federation technologically, possessing advanced mobile suits and actual Newtype research (important note; With one singular exception, it is never suggested that Zeon’s Newtype laboratories are anything less than above-board. Are they under immense pressure to succeed? Absolutely. But crucially, they aren’t inhuman). It had a large variety of mobile suits - usually a few good “workhorse” units (Zaku’s and Dom’s) with a bunch of oddities on the side (like Gyan’s and Zakarello’s).

Lastly, the One Year War itself. This is a point I’ll be coming back to frequently throughout this, but; The Federation possessed a major population and material advantage over the Principality of Zeon for the entire war, and was able to deploy a staggering amount of enlisted soldiers into the war. Zeon possessed the advantage of mobile suits early on, but they were also forced to mobilise a great many soldiers. Both Sides of the One Year War lost half of their respective populations in the early stages of the war (The One Week Battle) and Side 4 Moore was utterly devastated. What I’m getting at is that there would be an awful lot of individuals with millitary training and/or technological know-how running around after the war, as occurred in the real-world World War II and Cold War (strictly speaking I’m looking at them being an easy source of millitary experience in genre fiction, but you get the idea). So you have a lot of Ex-Soldiers and remaining military equipment hanging around, and a lot of people with “legitimate grievances” to hate the other side (Warcrimes on both sides, The Earth Federation essentially doesn’t change, Zeon Remnants remain an active problem with several becoming pirates and there’s a lot of Federation “mop-up” teams going around, the precursors to the Titans).

So, The Principality of Zeon in a nutshell; Principled reasoning (i.e. Contolism), massive force, Newtypes rare and incredibly valued (since they’re essentially a living reminder of why they’re fighting and a massive force multiplier), mobile suits essentially brand new and largely experimental.

The Delaz Fleet (and Zeon Remnants in general)

The Delaz Fleet was formally created in U.C. 0081, being primarily composed of former Gihren Zabi Loyalists from the Principality of Zeon, led by Aigulle Delaz (above, left). They were most famous for Operation Stardust in U.C. 0083. I’m also going to be discussing Zeon Remnant groups in general here, since the Delaz Fleet is essentially just a very large and successful Zeon remnant group. Delaz’ goal is relatively simple - vengeance. Delaz wishes to deal a hefty blow to the federation, largely to avenge the Principality’s loss at a Baoa Qu, with much of his forces feeling similarly (note: it’s possible that, had their been less withdrawals of Gihren Faction Loyalists like Delaz, A Baoa Qu may have gone differently). The forces under his command is relatively small, to the point where he is forced to seek aid from both the Axis Advance Fleet (though this is largely in materials and recovery) and the Cima Fleet, which costs him dearly.

Delaz specifically embellishes the “cause” of Zeon, focusing less on the Principality’s totally necessary warcrimes and more on Zeon’s fight for Independence against the Earth Federation. This is relevant because Delaz reaches a wide audience, espousing his own Zeonic ideals, largely divorced from the original Contolism basis. He also blames the weakened political leadership of the time (read: that nasty Kycilia murdering his precious Gihren Zabi). Delaz is specifically the most successful of the Zeon remnants in his era, directly to the space colonies detriment, since his actions directly lead to the founding of the Titans, who brutally crack down on the Colonies.

Equipment-wise, Zeon remnant groups are a varied bunch, but typically fight using older or ad-hoc equipment - The Delaz Fleet primarily utilises upgraded machines from the One Year War - Zaku FII’s, Rick Dom’s and, most notably, Dra-C’s - mobile suits cobbled together from spare Zaku and Gattle fighter-bomber parts. Any other materials they use are either stolen from the Earth Federation or are acquired through other means.

Newtypes are kinda weird here, since there just aren’t any in 0083, and the general theme with Newtypes in other remnant groups around this time is typically that they’re either propaganda or just not very good. It’s possible that the Newtype philosophy was largely dormant for a while immediately following Zeon’s defeat - either viewed as propaganda or directly suppressed by the Earth Federation themselves (like Amuro). The Newtype philosophy likely experienced as resurgence with the emergence of the Titans, since it would have been a rallying cry for spacenoid independence once more. As such, Newtypes just aren’t a big thing in Zeon remnant groups around this era, at least as near as I can tell (Delaz is the only animated force we see, and I try not to rely too much on manga, at least for Universal Century).

So, Delaz Fleet (and immediate postwar Zeon remnants) in a nutshell; Varied Motivations (though typically vengeance or survival), Small Guerilla Force, Newtypes near non-existent, mobile suits either OYW cast-offs or stolen.

Axis Zeon

Which I admit I’m using because it’s more easily distinguished than Neo Zeon, Neo Zeon and Neo Zeon. Anyway, Axis Zeon is made up of the various Zeon remnants that fled to the Asteroid Axis after the One Year War, this includes several pilots, scientists and engineers, which ensures that Axis enjoys a massive technological edge for most of its existence. Axis, in contrast to Zeons prior, is primarily concerned with “The Restoration of the Zabi Family” since one of the people that ended up there is Mineva Zabi, daughter of Dozle and the Zabi family’s only living heir. Except Glemy maybe.

Since Mineva was of the Zabi family lineage, of course she’d want to resume their conquest of the Earth Sphere, and so Axis was reconstructed into a fortress for her to rule when she came of age, with a regent being appointed to rule in her stead, which eventually fell to Haman Karn. Haman was essentially able to use Mineva as a figurehead in order to mount an invasion of Earth, and struck at the end of the Gryps War, when both the Titans and AEUG were reeling from that conflict. It’s also notable that a lot of the Axis members we see are very young, so were raised on “The Glories of Zeon” without actually seeing the realities of the One Year War with their own eyes.

Neo Zeon also was able to develop and field newtype weaponry, with newtypes being a potent threat against the AEUG. However, they still weren’t common, and so Cyber Newtypes were fielded. In contrast to “true newtypes” who have naturally awakened to their powers, cyber-newtypes are those with Newtype potential who have been forcibly conditioned with drugs and implants in order to function for combat. Though deadly threats, they are very unstable. You may notice that this seems anathema to the Contolism Philosophy espoused by Zeon Zum Deikun, and is incredibly dehumanising to boot, signifying that Axis is barely even paying lip service to its ideals of spacenoid independence. Axis Zeon is also notable for utilising clones to supplement its Newtype forces, which…. I don’t think is strictly counter to Contolism? But it feels like it’s against it in spirit, if not in letter.

It’s especially notable that a great many members of Axis Zeon espouse things like “For the Glory of Neo Zeon” and “For the Restoration of the Zabi Family” without really understanding what they mean. It’s also notable that, barring links with surviving Zeon Remnant groups, Axis isn’t noted as being very popular with the colonial population, likely because they don’t really understand what the “Ideals of Zeon” mean, and the civilians recognise them as merely parroting Zabi rhetoric.

Axis Zeon would eventually be undone by a Civil War within the organisation led by Glemy Toto, coupled with the AEUG’s offensives. Unlike the political manoeuvring of the One Year War, the Glemy Faction coup occurs very suddenly and results in massive casualties in the organisation due to his command of the Newtype corps.

Technologically, Axis is absolutely cutting-edge. They really don’t cheap out on mobile suit development and are able to design and field a variety of units comparable to the Principality in its heyday. Axis forces are essentially the best-armed Zeon will ever be, helped massively by the sheer amount of Newtype weaponry they can deploy (they have three mainline mobile suits in the Neo Zeon War, all three seeing good amounts of production at various stages and they’re typically first pick for Zeon Remnant Groups in the U.C. 0090’s). They also have the facilities for Newtype cloning, as mentioned above.

Axis Zeon in a nutshell; Hollow Motivations (Restoration of the Zabi Family and Conquest of the Earth Sphere), large force, newtypes and cyber-newtypes prevalent, mobile suits many, varied and cutting-edge.

(I haven’t quite finished all of ZZ, so forgive me if this one’s a bit rough)

Char’s Neo Zeon/Newborn Neo Zeon

Sometimes also known as Char’s Rebellion. It was basically founded in order to accelerate space migration….. by plunging the Earth into nuclear winter and making it near-uninhabitable. Founded by our good buddy Char Aznable in U.C. 0093, there’s less to go on for this particular iteration of Zeon, basically just a movie and supplemental information. It is composed of various Zeon remnants and political factions under Char Aznable with the express purpose of instigating the Axis Drop in order to make the earth uninhabitable and stop humanity from damaging it. Which is a terrible plan, barely paying lip service to the Contolist ideals Zeon was founded upon.

That’s because it’s a lie.

Char is in fact mounting a suicide run on the entire Earth. Creating a threat so massive that Amuro will be forced to kill him to stop it. Which is rather informative. Char is essentially using his influence to hold the entire operation together, and it’s notable that a good chunk of his own forces actively move to counter his goal when the option presents itself. Consequently, there isn’t much in the way of ideals on display here - Char is famous both for being the son of Zeon Zum Deikun and for his Dakar Address when he was a member of the AEUG. It kinda seems like a lot of his support is coming from people who know him from that, as opposed to what he’s actually doing. Newborn Neo Zeon is basically headlined and held together by Char, and has the vibe of a desperate last gasp for Zeon. It’s also notable that the only time we see Char actually lead Zeon is when he’s using its name for his own ends.

Newborn Neo Zeon also has a great more political pull than many of the other groups - Char Succeeds in a lot of his goals because he’s essentially able to play the Earth Federation like a fiddle, while remnant groups happily provide him aid. Technologically he has the backing of both Anaheim and Newtype Labs. Char’s mobile suits are, while not cutting-edge as such, very well rounded. The Geara Doga and Jagd Doga both share components and a general body structure, and the only reason the Sazabi is unique is because they couldn’t make the frame suit Char’s abilities (there’s a bunch of prototype units that pave the way to the Sazabi). Newborn Neo Zeon also retains a number of Axis Zeon Remnants, which bring their mobile suits and technical skill as well. Newtypes, while not exactly common, are considerably more stable than their Axis predecessors, and are given Jagd Doga’s, which are probably the closest a Newtype machine has ever come to reliability and ease of use. There’s also the Alpha Azieru…. which is also there (I don’t really have a lot to say on it honestly, it’s just kind of another “big newtype weapon”). Unfortunately, I really don’t have much to go on here regarding how the force views its newtypes - they’re essentially just treated as a special branch of the forces, no contolist ethics here, which is genuinely pretty sad. Because it illustrates just how far Char’s fallen from the ideals he espoused at the end of Zeta, especially considering he’s the son of Zeon Zum Deikun.

Char’s Neo Zeon in a nutshell: Motivations lean Char-centric, middling force with a lot of soft power, Newtypes present and mostly stable, small mobile suit variety but what’s there is very good.

(The Geara Doga’s one of my favourite grunt suits, so I’m probably quite biased here)

The Sleeves

Last of the “main” Neo Zeon Organisations. The Sleeves is a melting pot of every Zeon remnant group going. Founded around U.C. 0096, they were led by the man called Full Frontal, known as the “ghost of char”. Due to their disparate status, they aren’t recognised as a legitimate organisation by the Federstion, instead being branded a terrorist group - which they essentially are, being an aggregation of a bunch of other informal Zeon remnant groups. This mixed nature leads to a similar diversity in views and equipment - you have die-hard contolists, Glemy faction remnants, newborn Neo Zeon cast-offs and everything in-between.

They are essentially a return to form for Zeon Remnant groups, but are able effectively leverage their limited assets to fight quite effectively, though again, they’re heavily reliant on soft power, such as their relationship with Anaheim and political connections. They don’t have the forces to steamroll through the Earth Federation, so they’re forced to adopt an almost cell-based approach (at least that’s my read on Full Frontal and Suberoa Zinnerman’s relationship). It’s an odd mix of the realities of a Guerilla war against the federation and hearkening back to Neo-Zeon groups past (who were themselves hearkening back to the days of the old Principality). I should also note that The Sleeves maintain links with several other Zeon Remnant groups, such as some of the forces that attack Torrington in Unicorn. This is interesting not just because it shows a greater deal of collaboration between these groups than seen prior (Delaz and Cima were not exactly trusting of each other), it also shows a different mechanical composition to pre-U.C. 0090 remnant groups.

They’re kind of all over the place. Which I love because it’s 1:1 with their philosophical composition - they’re remnants from a bunch of different forces and groups, so of course it makes sense that their mobile suits would reflect that. The Sleeves do possess the…. Not-quite-cutting-edge-but-at-least-new Geara Zulus and the absolutely fabulous Sinanju (s), Kyshatriya and Rebawoo, but that’s kind of all they’re at. Everything else is from at least Char’s Rebellion or earlier - there’s one-of-a-kind custom units, old axis castoffs, even some stuff from the One Year War and immediate postwar period (like that poor regelgu). A varied armament for a varied force.

However, it is notable that The Sleeves don’t really have much of an identity of their own, largely due to their patchwork composition. They’re the scattered remnants of previous causes, and this is both called out and used against them in-universe. It feels like an examination of Char’s actions during CCA - Full Frontal certainly has Char’s charisma, but he doesn’t have his drive as evidenced by his eventual goal, which isn’t necessarily a *bad* aim, it’s just not Char.

Following on from this they share Newborn Neo Zeon’s just general…. disinterest in newtypes. They’re like any other pilot, they can just use different equipment. All the Sleeves Newtypes we see are very well-equipped though, so how they precisely look at them is unclear. This could be viewed as another extension of Char’s attitudes in CCA.

The Sleeves in a nutshell: Motivations are kind of all over the place, middling-to-low-sized force, newtypes uncommon but mostly-stable (one exception) and very effective, massive mobile suit variety but quality’s also all over the place.

Conclusion

So yeah, I find each revival of Zeon different enough that I can consider them separately to each other - yeah, there’s crossover, but their attitudes change each time - the only thing that stays the same is the aesthetic and who they’re fighting against.

But why are Zeon so often the antagonist?

Out-of-universe, because they sell. But you already knew that so let’s talk about possible In-universe reasons:

Old Equipment - The Principality was *huge*. Masses of equipment, enlisted men and yes, mobile suits. We see several individuals that are able to survive on the Scrap alone - Kelly Layzner, Judau Ashta, even the AEUG utilize a Gelgoog at one point. There’s a lot of material out there, and its a hot commodity post war and the Earth Federation will be in a hurry to rebuild - they don’t have the resources to track down every case of assault rifles or damaged-but-not-irreparable mobile suit. The South Seas alliance in Gundam Thunderbolt is one such organisation, but there will be a lot of Zeon Remnants who are still functional.

Loss of Leadership, not force - Aguille Delaz personally blames the “weak political leadership” (IE Kycillia) for the loss in the One Year War, but we can extrapolate that further. The Battle for A Baoa Qu saw pretty much all the remaining Zabi High Command due within hours of each other - Gihren kills Degwin, Kycillia kills Gihren, Char kills Kycillia. These are three massive losses to the war effort in very short spaces of time. Gihren’s betrayal of Degwin would’ve been very costly for him even if Kycillia hadn’t taken revenge there and then. He deprived himself of both the Solar Ray and the Fleet that Degwin was part of. The fact he took out Revil as well merely would’ve made it an even loss - if it wasn’t for the Solar Ray being rendered unusable into the bargain. Kycilia’s revenge killing of Gihren deprives A Baoa Qu of forces as the commanders loyal to Gihren flee the scene - Delaz among them - weakening the defence overall. Finally, Kycilia is killed as she is attempting to flee to Granada, where she planned to continue the war. This leaves a great many well-armed forces at large, since their strength wasn’t spent at A Baoa Qu - forces that Axis Zeon will draw on. All it really takes to galvanise these remnants is a charismatic individual, something which isn’t exactly in sort supply in the Universal Century.

Corollary to the above - Unclear loss - A Baoa Qu was absolute chaos, so the precise mechanics of “why Zeon lost” might be difficult for the average soldier to grasp - particularly one lacking in reliable non-federation communication sources. It would be easy to look at the mess of A Baoa Qu, then look at the equipment beside you and think “Yeah, we could’ve won. Yeah, we might still win”.

Unchanged Status Quo - Zeon launched the One Year War, at least officially, in the name of Independence. The Earth Federation was governing the colonies poorly, and class inequality was high. This does not change, if anything, it gets worse, as groups like the Titans see the OYW and Operation Stardust as Carte Blanche to utterly suppress the space colonies, and carry out War Crimes at least equal to Zeon’s. A failed war might at least spark some change to prevent another one, but if anything conditions for spacenoids only get worse, so resistance groups would see an upturn in numbers.

Corollary to the Above - Spacenoid Independence doesn’t stop with the war - The Independence of the Space Colonies is still a hot-button issue which the Federation has reason to suppress. So any ex-Zeon soldiers that folded back into civilian life may get involved with Colonial Independence movements. Or, any colonial independence movement that finds the Federation isn’t listening to them might seek a way to *make* them listen - and might find Zeon Remnant Groups sympathetic to their cause.

Little oversight - Before the formation of the Titans, the Earth Federation government believed Zeon to be removed as a threat - small pirate groups, but nothing major. Operation Stardust changed all this, yes, but before that Zeon remnant groups could operate largely unopposed, especially in areas with lower federation presence.

Total Societal Upheavel - Half of the population of the Universal Century died in the One Week Battle. Side 4 Moore was completely destroyed. There’s going to be some serious societal reconstruction after that no matter how you look at it. (Sidebar - Polygamy is mentioned as being a lot more common in Gundam Thunderbolt after the OYW, due to the massive gender disparity - you could also read this as Universal Century also being supportive of Lesbians). It’s not necessarily a driving force behind Zeon Remnant groups, but it’s worth remembering.

Military Experience - The big one, in my opinion. You have a lot of individuals with military experience after the war, including Guerilla warfare. This includes all the forces that had to adapt to new environments, like fighting in space, in colonies or on earth. There’s also a massive postwar economic depression. That’s not going to breed contentment towards a weak government, especially one that wasn’t doing a good job before the war.

In a nutshell, Zeon has the experience, materials and drive necessary to continue being a problem after the One Year War, and the Earth Federation Government doesn’t have the institutional will to stop them until Operation Stardust, which leads to the creation of the Titans, which really don’t help the situation.

Feel free to mention anything I’ve missed!

[thepunkmuppet]

I have spent so much time thinking about the miss holloway musical WHICH THEY HAVE ALREADY WRITTEN and I need to spill my thoughts about it

there is no point or end to this it’s just a brain fart of all the thoughts I’ve been having so enjoy I guess lmfao

“backstory”. it will be about her backstory. was she an 80’s music star who sold her mortal life for fame in a deal that backfired on her?? or was she a woman with the gift about to be hanged by the hatchet men who saved herself by making that same deal?? HOW FAR BACK DOES THIS GO IS WHAT IM ASKING WE KNOW FUCK ALL ABOUT THIS WOMAN

if it’s the former, I would love to maybe have mariah as casey (the girl with the gift in the witchwood who asked for her autograph) be an actual character who holloway maybe tries to help. also kim singing 80’s songs fuck yeah

and if it’s the latter then,,, oh wow. some heavy musical numbers, a shitload of hatchetmen / church of the starry children lore, and maybe another form of the lords in black (maybe the creepy hooded figures that we see drawn in the black book???)

also sorry EDIT I just looked at this picture again and the middle one (probably wiggly) is holding a knife. there’s no fucking way that’s not the black blade this is absolutely miss holloway guys omggggg

I would love to see this scene on stage with kim!!!! this would make 5 different forms of the LIB that we’ve seen / heard about (dolls, teens / humans, their true forms, wiggly in made in america, and whatever this is). I’m just imagining you see these black hooded figures, and then in the pro-shot you get a good look inside their hoods… and their faces are NOT human. like just imagine a massive purple eye staring out of one of those hoods, maybe even moving and blinking, a cool animatronic thing. SO CREEPY!! I also love the idea of switching up the actors again - I love jon so much as wiggly and I don’t think they would change him bc of his voice, but with the rest of them I think any actor can play a LIB which opens up so many possibilities…

I also would love to know how miss holloway met duke, and potentially even how many times they have met and then he had to forget her. considering the fact that we now have weird lore about his dad in 2005, did she know duke when he was younger?? did she help him out when he was a teenager, or help his dad?? is it a family thing, like she’s vowed to watch over the keane family or something??

duke’s dad is a big part of this tbh, because what a random insane lore / backstory drop, like WHAT? I genuinely have no idea what douglas keane sr’s murder could be about, except that it ties in to duke and to wilbur. and shows that 2005 is SO DAMN IMPORTANT

2005 was the year hannah was born, the year the portal to the black and white was created, the year wilbur cross went insane and became a disciple of the LIB, the year miss holloway took on the mantle of “miss holloway”, and (very likely) the year miss holloway and wilbur fought. so i think it’s safe to say that the musical itself will be set in 2005, which to me means macnamara and wilbur backstory alongside holloway and duke, which is very very fun

I like the idea that wilbur and macnamara were canonically together, and I really want to see pre-LIB wilbur. I also love the idea of macnamara and holloway working together or even becoming friends - despite being set a decade and a half before nightmare time, it would feel like the culmination of the two hanging plot threads / overarching arcs to me. also the idea that it was holloway who introduced macnamara to the paranormal and therefore essentially set up PEIP and doomed wiley is some juicy stuff that I would LOVE to see, especially if either macnamara or wiley lived in hatchetfield as kids and miss holloway helped them, inspiring whichever one of them to set up PEIP

ok so leading off of that I have a clear vision of a potential final scene that is driving me insane, and that’s the main reason why I patched together this post.

the final scene is the fight between miss holloway and wilbur, the one that happens in every single timeline.

and the basic idea is that we see both fights at once. there’s a song, and the stage is like black friday and spies are forever, with a level above the stage the actors can walk up to and stand on. joey and kim sing, and do their bit on the stage, but above the stage there are either doubles or a projection, mirroring the choreography. only in the pro-shot version, they would splice in joey and kim playing both pairs, which I just think would turn out looking really awesome despite being tricky to pull off live.

and yeah basically at the exact same time, one wilbur stabs holloway, and the other holloway stabs wilbur, creating a gorgeous visual representation of the newly splintered timelines.

either that or they do a trail to oregon and just do a different ending each night, and then splice them together in the pro-shot like I was saying. but I personally prefer the first one, if they’re able to pull it off and make it look good

and duke shows up just after that, having followed miss holloway throughout the story so far. and in the universe where wilbur’s dead, miss holloway makes him forget it all, hence this being the year that she takes on the new name and the fact that we know he has forgotten about her / her true past before. and then in the universe where holloway is dead, he holds her as she dies in his arms. bonus points if we get dying holloway saying “please don’t forget me” and living holloway saying “you have to forget me”. oh and just to be cruel, both dukes saying “I could never forget you” at the same time :) stew on that for a bit. yeah. fuck you I guess lol I woke up and chose violence today apparently

the idea of the two of them finding each other again after that in some timelines is just gorgeous to me, especially given the fact that NMT3 seems to suggest them finding each other AGAIN after she needs to make him forget. truly star crossed lovers they are so insane for this

in summary I guess what I’m trying to say is I think it will include miss holloway’s full backstory and then be mostly set in 2005, and centre around the opening of the black and white portal (macnamara and wilbur), miss holloway meeting duke (wilbur murdering duke’s dad, possibly something with lex and hannah if duke was already a social worker) and eventually the big fight between holloway and wilbur, ending in the audience seeing both potential endings. also obviously a reference to hannah’s birth because that seemed to be some kind of catalyst. thank you for coming to my utterly deranged ted talk goodbye

[britcision]

So I’ve been having a lot of the Organizing AuDHD lately, where I sit and obsessively sort things for just, a zillion hours

Things like 8 years worth of photos on my hard drive, all of my leather-working and sewing supplies into tackle boxes, grouping and organizing all of the paints and all of our craft closets, and sorting 2 years of CSP materials

(Aaaaand fully resorting and folding 3/10 fabric bins instead of just grabbing the fabric I needed to get started on a thing this is not remotely happening at convenient times)

And yesterday

Yesterday, I got my Granny’s old sewing cart

This thing had stuff in it older than my Granny herself

(Also a good 30% of grandma smell is sheep’s wool guess how I know now)

I’m talking packets of “hook and eye attachments” older than the brand for Velcro

Genuine lambswool threads from Scotland

British military surplus linen thread

This pic is actually after I already spent about 2 hours just separating and bagging things it was worse than this but here she is

So, yeah. Perfect timing. Organizing AuDHD paradise

Dragged all my sewing stuff back to the main room to redo it all again (but y’see I was smart the first time I just sorted my threads and left a space cuz I knew this lil cutie was coming)

And

Well

I promised my partner I’d clear the floors in between every time, and he has kindly offered to sort buttons for me cuz he’s also got Button Sorting ‘Tisms

(The BAGS of old buttons you guys. So. Many. Buttons.)

But. Uh. Here’s what it looked like while I was going

Featuring: my sewing box, Granny’s sewing caddy, both craft dressers, and the noble residents of Box Hell, aka every reasonably well conditioned box I have emptied for 7 years now doing duty sorting objects

(Also the paper patterns I was drafting onto broadcloth for cosplay but shhhh those are nearly done and super neat and out of the way)

And! And!

Four hours later, look!

All tidied away (for now)

I have officially sorted and rolled all of the ribbons (hers and mine)

I also discovered that that fucking massive cone of elastic does not in fact have a single fucking post in the middle there’s a tiny cardboard one that ends half way up and then it’s just a roll of PAPER

(That slid out while I unspooled about half of it to fix where the loops had been slipping off to coil it neatly again. It’s also at least two lengths of elastic but fuck it it’s in a cup now)

And! That little front drawer has been fully sorted and now holds the elastic, velcro, and zippers 😁

Most of the stuff from the main body of the caddy is at least sorted by types now, so the threads are all together and the snaps and hook and eyes all have baggies, but I haven’t touched the top two bits yet and I still gotta sort them baggies

But! I think I’ve found all the elastics and velcro and zippers! And ribbons!

And all the proper actual wool and nylons have their own bag because some of that shit feels like historical artefacts or something and I shouldn’t actually use it and just preserve it or something

It’s in really good condition and I’m a lil scared I’ll ruin it somehow and most of the ribbons are real silk and it’s just. Holy shit.

It’s so old

[viktor-leagueoflegends]

(I hope this is okay to send but this feels like an appropriate space to let this out) I was already worried when Arcane became canon and most people (except the small group of actual league lore fans) were mostly happy and I think at the time I could almost forgive people dismissing lore fans concerns by claiming Arcane would be approvement over the current lore, because I do genuinely like Arcane season 1 and I understood where they were coming from. But now that season 2s out and it sucks and the viktor vgu's out and I see every arcane fan praise it despite not actually playing league, I just feel so upset? Like I understood defending Arcane's canonicity and overhauling the main lore when only season 1 was out because at least Arcane was actually pretty good but now, not only does it suck but it also just alters things about canon?? Like great, old viktors just gone now and I feel like everyone I see online is cheering or acting like you're a homophobe if you don't like him. Like sorry, as a bi twink, I still think his VGU sucks and is a massive downgrade and that his skins shouldn't have been changed so heavily (i wish they at least preserved the original look through a skin or something)

Thank you for your work . Looking at your blogs made me feel a lot better and I really appreciate the archiving

Hi, thanks for the ask! And yeah, totally fine to send stuff like this here. 

I know exactly what you mean about being worried from the point of Arcane becoming canon, I’ve kind of felt a looming sense of dread about this IP since then and a sort of “...There’s no way they actually go through with it, right?” just because it causes so many logistical issues for a lore that's been built on top of over the years and to change that foundation is.... tricky, to say the least.

I think from the end of arcane 1 there was a possibility of a machine herald overhaul that, yk i wouldn’t be happy with but would be tantamount to the 2011 into 2016 rework where he still maintains the characteristics of being an engineer cyborg and whatnot. And I’d be like “Ok, now I’m in the same boat as the 2011’s, it happens, I’ll cope.”

But this overhaul into something just so completely unrelated, to the point they’re renaming him Herald of the Arcane… it feels bad! It feels really really bad! And like you said, seeing people praise it because they never gave a shit about Viktor and the space he occupies in league sucks major! It’s actively detrimental to the health of the overall lore because it’s going to be SO much work to retcon and many champions are getting caught in the crossfire! All this to try and cashgrab from arcanes!

And ur so right it's honestly so crazy to me the way people are defending the decision. As if it isnt so obviously a half-assed rush job to meet the Arcane deadline. Like. This rework is bad! It is incredibly lazy from the skins to the kit changes! And people are acting like it’s good like no way you consider this a successful rework right. They did fuckall to the kit and made most skins worse. You can ask for better I promise you. But yeah the terrain of the reception to this VGU is wild. Here's hoping we can get some kind of compromise.

And I'm glad the archive has helped. I know I've spent time just mashing the random post until I feel better. Really all I wanted was for this to be a resource for LeagueViktor fans and I'm happy it's doing that.

[bucket-of-f1]

2024 Sao Paulo

Sorry for the late post I didn't have time to watch this weekend BUT

THE

ANGLES

Some of the qualifying camera angles were AMAZING, like look at these

I absolutely love the gyro-cam.

Showing the main rival at the moment on a small screen on the corner? Also genius.

Even better is the timetables at the bottom of the screen, showing Hamilton’s and Norris’s times (main screen and small screen, respectively) compared to the current top time for that sector. We see Hamilton, in Sector 3, competing with Tsunoda’s time of 1:29.172 (his final time at the end of that sector, also his final lap time) and Norris fighting through Sector 2 against Tsunoda’s 1:10.253. I LOVE this UI graphic (I know its not actually User Interface but that's what it feels like). It’s so useful, it gives viewers an incredibly efficient and interesting way to keep up with the race without cluttering the screen. You can check if you want or care, and if you don’t, you still know what’s going on.

Speaking of Tsunoda:

There is no front row that could make me happier right now. I know Tsunoda didn’t finish quali in 2nd, but oh my god I love that screenshot. Get him out of VCARB and put him in a damn RB. I like Perez but, still, looking at performance? Put Tsunoda in an RB. He deserves it.

(I’m a Tsunoda fan, can you tell)

ALSO can we talk about Williams and their crew?

Like

This is the accident that Albon had, and it is NASTY. I genuinely cringed away from my screen. And we know he’s okay (thank god for current safety restrictions), but this was the interaction between Albon and his Race engineer:

Albon: “Did the brakes fail?”

RE: “We-uh we’re checking- oh- A- Alex a-are you o- are you okay?”

Albon: “Yeah.”

Go watch the recording. The actual concern in the race engineer’s voice is obvious. Albon’s race engineer is James Urwin, and they’ve been working together for two years as Driver/RE. This is the second of what I think was eventually three rebuilds of Williams cars this weekend, and they’re still more concerned about the drivers than anything else. It’ll be a nice change of pace for Sainz next year.

Last thing:

I feel like people are losing their minds about Verstappen, but this is not the first time we’ve seen him pull this off, not even the first time at Sao Paulo. Go watch the 2016 Sao Paulo Highlights. That was an absolutely nasty race in terms of conditions, and Verstappen pulled out magic — back then it seemed like he pulled it out of his ass, but now we know how good he is. That was just early proof. I’m not a massive Verstappen fan, which I’m not gonna get into right now but I will if someone is interested, but I have massive respect for his skill as a driver, and anyone who doesn’t is blind.

[musicalmoritz]

Just saw your TBHK headcanons post and saw the one about Akane being the father who stepped up for Tiara since she sees him and Teru as her parents (Literally adore the mental image btw) Do you have any other headcanons for how Akane and Tiara would interact?

Omg yayyyyy yay more TBHK found family asks. Ya’ll are giving me too much to yap about, I feel spoiled. Alright onto the silliest father/daughter duo of all time, we’re about to take more liberties with fanon so everybody fasten your seatbelts

• So this headcanon happened as a result of the whole “Teru is basically raising Kou and Tiara” thing

• I feel like it’s true, their dad is absent and while most of the household work falls on Kou (a massive responsibility on its own), Teru seems to take on more of the “parenting” responsibilities. Such as training Kou and giving him guidance, plus the way he interacts with Tiara feels v much like a parent and their child

• I don’t mean to take away the sibling dynamic at all tho, there are plenty of oldest siblings out there that have had to raise their younger siblings. Being a parental figure doesn’t cancel out one’s role as a sibling

• Anyways that made me think that whoever Teru ends up dating is probably gonna end up co-parenting Tiara, especially if it turns into a long term relationship

• If their dad never gets his act together Teru will likely be the one having to raise Tiara into adulthood, I don’t think he’d let Kou take on that much responsibility (plus he likes to be involved in his siblings lives, I think he’d genuinely enjoy it)

• Since Teru and Kou are closer in age tho I don’t think the co-parenting thing applies to Kou, he’d be a regular brother-in-law (minus maybe one awkward “I’m not calling him dad” moment)

• Terukane is my main Teru ship so naturally I have to imagine Akane getting overly involved with the Minamotos

• “But what would that progression look like?” Tysm for asking, I’ve given way too much thought to this

• Tiara initially goes through a phase of not liking Akane very much, he’s way too blunt with her and she’s used to being coddled

• In return, Akane doesn’t like Tiara too much bcuz we all know he’s not above beefing with toddlers

• Since Tiara is five tho she gets over that hatred pretty quickly. All Akane has to do is, like, bring her a juice box and suddenly they’re best friends

• Akane wants to make Teru’s life a little easier bcuz he can’t help but want to take care of every person he falls for. I do believe his obsession with Aoi was unique but I also like to think it’s partially just an Akane thing, when he falls he falls hard. He locks in

• When I write Terukane I usually try to balance their canon dynamic with Akane’s obsessiveness, tho I don’t mind when some writers lean more into his yandere side for the ship. I know some shippers really hate it but I kinda like seeing various interpretations (keep in mind tho I don’t read Terukane fics often so I’m not the best authority on this lol)

• Holy Tangent, Batman! That is not what these headcanons are about. I need to yap on track

• Anyways, because Akane wants to take care of Teru he ends up babysitting Tiara a lot. This gives both the Minamoto brothers more free time, and it fulfills Akane’s need to constantly be making himself useful

• Their dynamic is one of the very imaginative, hyperactive child and the apathetic dad who adores her. He’s not overly doting like Kou and Teru are but that’s weirdly what makes Tiara attach herself to him, he’s different from most people she knows

• Oh yeah she calls him papa btw. This stems from my headcanon that she calls Teru mama, and this is where I have to reaffirm that I’m not trying to feminize him guys I just think it’s funny :(

• Basically just picture Loid and Anya from Spy x Family, that is how I imagine Akane and Tiara

• He hangs around so often that she genuinely starts to think of Teru and Akane as her dads. This indirectly strengthens their relationship bcuz like…they can’t just break up now. That would be like divorce for Tiara

• Every time they have a mild argument Teru’s like “think of Tiara :(”

• In turn, Akane starts acting more like a dad. He takes Tiara to the park and prepares her snacks when Kou is busy

• One day Tiara calls him papa in front of his parents and they have to grapple with the realization that their son has had a whole ass child for months and neither of them knew

• Akane’s dad panicked for like a full minute thinking it was a teen pregnancy before he realized that’s not really possible

• Akane would def introduce Tiara to his favorite rock bands (totally not based off me and my dad)

• Seeing Teru and Akane together actually helped Tiara understand the concept of marriage (since she doesn’t seem to understand it in canon), and that there are different types of relationships. Teru had to sit her down once and carefully explain that he and Akane aren’t married. She didn’t get it but, oh well, baby steps

• Akane introduces Tiara to people as his daughter, which results in a lot of confused looks from strangers

• When she gets older Teru becomes “dad” but Akane stays papa. She also calls him “old man” sometimes

• Since everyone seems to agree Mirai is a sister-figure to Akane, I could def see her making Tiara call her “Aunt Mirai” lmao (they would be best friends, trust)

• If someone upsets Akane or tries to hurt him, Tiara will go full lightning mode on them. Legend has it her first words were “Nah, I’d win”

• By the time Akane meets the Minamoto Father it goes down like “Who are you??” “I’m the owner of this house🤨”

• “Father?? No, you’ve been demoted to grandpa”

• Akane gives Tiara a lot of piggyback rides

• He tries to give her a lot of attention bcuz his own parents aren’t very involved in his life and he knows that can cause issues

• She likes her sandwiches cut into little shapes and Akane can accurately guess which shape she wants every time

• He can do hair really well because of Aoi and Mirai so he styles Tiara’s for her a lot

• I like the headcanon of Akane becoming a psych major (we’re twinning) so I like to imagine that when he eventually takes a lifespan development or child psych class he’s like “Teru. Teru we need to develop authoritative parenting styles. Teru we’ve been too permissive. Teru.” • I think they’d already be authoritative but shhh

• He becomes mindful of the type of attachment style Tiara has and tries to make her feel as secure as possible

• He picks up a couple parenting books

• Him and Teru would also be the type to read their Tiara LGBTQ+ children’s books. Woke parenting/j

• I think it would make both Teru and Akane happy to know they don’t have to go through with getting married and a whole adoption process for Tiara to see them as her parents. They don’t have to rush into anything or follow any standard process, they can just do their own thing and be a happy little family

• And Tiara gets to grow up with two parents who love her more than anything in the world

I’m ending it there because I could yap abt the Minamotos forever. Glad I got to spend my Terukane Girl Dads agenda again. Hope you enjoyed!!

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

Y’all I’m gonna try to stay out of the byler tag as much as I can for a while. I don’t wanna see massive spoilers. If you catch me lurking pls tell me off.

I just wanna say uh

Idk what I was gonna say

Anygays bye for now

Edit: oh yeah I was gonna say that when s5 comes out and some of you weirdos immediately go to whatever time stamp you think the Byler kiss is gonna be at to see it before watching anything else first, DONT! PLEASE! DONT! Spoil it for everyone else I’m beggingggggggggg

I’ve seen communities for Byler shippers who want to discuss Byler but without leaks and spoilers . The thing is… I wanna discuss s5, potential scenes and stuff we might see in s5, I wanna discuss the older promo we’ve gotten. HOWEVER we’re getting wayyy too much now and, idk, I personally think it should be the people who want these leaks and spoilers who keep it all in communities. Not the other way around. Do I make any sense?

Please y’all make communities for this. I’m not saying you can’t post stuff like this on the main tag too or that you have to keep out of the main tag at all times, but pls can you try posting in communities first-hand?

… yyeah ig what im trying to say is PLEASE FOR THE LOVEOF GOD don’t spoil the fucking Byler kiss in the main fucking tag when it comes out. At least not for a little while. Give everyone a chance to watch it in the actual fucking show first.