#yay i got some questions
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hhhhhh I need to properly reread Percy jackson again. This post brought to you by the fact I was about to make a post about a scene I very vividly remember of Will Solace trying to convince Pollux not to keep fighting with his good arm broken before Percy manages to convince him not to bc he promised Dionysus, then thought to myself "huh maybe I should fact check that- I mean I did also convince myself that Travis stoll died in this battle when he actually just went to college." And guess what? That scene ✨️didn't happen.✨️ Pollux was trying to convince Percy to let him rejoin the fight very half heartedly, while propped against a tree, and Percy was just like "hmmmm... no"
#Can you blame me tho.#SO much was going on in that book. It was literally JUST that battle and over the course of like 3 days#Here's some I found while skimming my copy of tlo for the scene in question:#Nico trying to rescue/ speak to his mum ft. Hades being a really shitty person (& shittier father)#Rachel's family helicopter almost crashing#Percy having a conversation with may castellan#Luke very belatedly realising “hm maybe I shouldn't give complete control of my body and mind to kronos”#This one random half-asleep demigod Percy runs into at one point that might’ve been Clovis? The demigod was said to be 12 tho-#So maybe his brother?#Prometheus shows up and gives Percy Pandora's jar#Percy getting thrown in prison by Hades and STRANGLES NICO FOR BRINGING HIM TO THE UNDERWORLD????#nico sends the guards to sleep tho so yay dream powers from his dad#And then Achilles's ghost shows up and basically just goes “are you fucking stupid or something. Why would you want my curse”#Chiron brings the party ponies to fight (they got drunk on rootbeer instead)#I think literally the only things from this book I accurately remembered were#1. Michael Yew convinces Percy to destroy a bridge while he's still on it#2. Annabeth moves to protect Percy's weak spot before she even knew where it was#3. One of Silenus's brothers dies and grover gets to be part of the council#4. Silena regrets being a spy and steals clarisse's armour to fight a drakon#5. Clarisse is PISSED that she did something so stupid and kills the drakon with her father's blessing#6. The fact Percy and Luke actually managed to converse during the Final Battle tm and Luke told Percy his weak spot#7. Ethan is a character who existed and then died. He was the son of Nemesis#Hm actually that's a lot more than I thought#But again there are Things happening in this book and there are Many Of Them and most of them are pretty fucked up actually.#anyway#pjo#Something something how is this a kids book etc
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For the first time ever, I used tarot as a method to try and contact Lord Apollo. I've been anxious about it for a while, but today the sun shone brightly and I saw some beautiful art of him, so I just.. felt compelled to give it a try. It went better than I ever could have expected and I truly do feel cared for, and that what I do in devotion to him is enough.
#val talks#should i tag. im scared. but this was a very positive experience so why not have this be the post that might make people perceive me lol#hellenic polytheism#apollo deity#apollo#apollo worship#helpol#apollo worshipper#lord apollo#if anyone is curious i pulled a card for confirmation that i was talking to him (got temperance which is associated with him. so yay)#and then asked a few questions. some related to me and my practice. some related to more personal topics. and they all were answered#very nicely i feel. queen of wands about if what im doing is ''enough'' which ties to confidence and self-assurance so i'm sure it's a yes#the emperor when asked if he had any opinion of me thus far that he wanted to share which i interpret as a confirmation that i can seek#stability and security from him and depend on him. maybe? that's how i read it#and more. but y'know. very positive stuff hehe. the card i got on one of the questions i asked seeking advice was possibly the most#appropriate card i could have pulled for the topic so. i'm honestly very happy about it!#tarot#hellenic pagan#i um. guess. anxious to talk to people and maybe get perceived but hey! why not try
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:0 I love Clay’s design! What are they like?
I'd have to say she's an, oddly intense child? At least that's how a lot of the adults in her life view her.
She comes off as serious, mainly 'cause if you're not one of like, 7 people, she's very quiet. Very direct and to the point when she does speak. But if she likes you, she'll talk your ear off
Clay's not the most social and has trouble getting along with kids her age, so she tends to cling to the adults and teens in her life. Thinks Denzel and Marlene are the coolest people on the planet(they'd be in their mid/late teens at this point).
Gets into fights for fun. Begged Tifa to teach her hand to hand combat(was told no. due to aforementioned fighting).
She thinks chocobos are scary. No one is sure why, but she does grow out of this fear eventually
While I wouldn't say she's clingy, she likes grabbing onto things. And people. If she doesn't have stuff to do with her hands she'll scrunch up a part of her shirt and hold it really tight.
Very close with her parents, none of them talk in circles around her, if she asks them things, they'll give her an honest answer. With varying levels of tact.
#asks#pine.log#clay strife#ffvii oc#i didn't mention this in her initial post but she has three parents actually#zack is a big part of her life its just that not a lot of other people know he's with cloud and wedge. theyre very casual about it ig#they all get enough questions as is so theyre just doing their thing without explaining going forward#most ppl outside the friend group assume hes got some weird roommate situation#ive literally only talked about her with bubby so yay! i get to have my clay thoughts public now
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Fuck fuck fuck low self-esteem has ruined my life.
#uchiha-gaeshi overshares#i should've known the signs when i got evaluated for adhd and my self perception was like#hold up gotta pull it up#and also disclaimer that this was a separate assessment for overall emotional wellbeing (or something like that) and this was just part of#the many tests that i had to take#ok. we're reaching even newer levels of oversharing here since i'm literally sharing evaluation results. but anywho#i was in the 96th percentile for sense of inadequacy; 17th percentile in (good) self esteem; 3rd percentile in self-reliance#and 3rd percentile in ego strength (i.e. satisfaction with self and one's abilities)#i saw this and got shocked and then forgot about it (in my defense there was a lot of stuff in the evaluation)#looks like it's more therapy for me. yay.#like there have been more times than not where i have felt less than to people around me. and fearing that people will see how pathetic#i actually am. god no wonder my desire to socialize decreased as my self esteem decreased#i might be repeating the same point over and over#ok so imma bring up the si/oc fic that i just dropped. like i think i *tried* to make a like a more confident version of myself; but i gues#i'll have to put it on pause because my teens were defined by feeling shit about myself. like idk what to do with a character like that#who's supposed to be making moves. like nothing would happen besides survivor's guilt#anyways back to the subject. as my gpa got pathetically low (i can't even share it here or else i'll probably deactivate this blog) and i#started losing jobs. i lost patience with myself. it seemed like other people were able to chug along with the demands of life while i was#fumbling around with no end in sight (tbh i wasn't the only one my close friend from college also has adhd and was really struggling and#another one might have dropped out. my childhood friend who also has adhd is in the same. exact. situation as i am with being unable to#go out in public since we feel like we can't be our “best selves”). then the old question came back: if i can't handle#high school/a part-time job/college on a low courseload then what the fuck was i going to do? some days i'd keep going with new strategies#or new ways to be more productive. but other days i didn't want to keep going#who knew it's not healthy to always assume that people are better than you? even though i have been reframing the more obvious thoughts#it's an automatic and unconscious impulse that just runs in the background of my head. idk if this is just a human thing or...#but because of this at times i'd hold myself back from fear of failure#anyways that's all i've lost my train of thought and have to do errands i've been putting off#txt
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if you are 1) currently in a university where your student healthcare covers hormone therapy, and 2) in a good financial, emotional, and social position to start hormone therapy, i would recommend pursuing it. because in my experience, it's a huge pain in the ass to get an endocrinologist once you're on your own
#unless you live near a planned parenthood or another equivalent to that#but in general you might as well take advantage of the mandatory student health insurance while you have it#it's also cheaper than you might expect. my vials cost $40 CAD for 4 months and then the injection materials are like a couple dollars each#for me i got a therapist with the university and asked them to recommend me to one of the uni's doctors#so i got to skip some of the waitlisting process yay#and then even after getting access to hormones i went to the clinic maybe 5 or 6 times because i needed a nurse to help me with injections#all of which was 'free' because it was with the university#now that i'm graduated though i need to find a new endocrinologist and it turns out the process is WAY more complicated on your own 🤡#of course your mileage may vary depending on how based your school is but it's definitely worth checking imo 🤷#beepbeep.txt#wanted to say this because i basically didn't use the uni health services until my last year and i was like 'wow#'i'm actually getting so much shit for free right now'#like i was seeing a therapist and a dietician and the endocrinologist and a nurse simultaneously at one point#and i might've missed out on all that if i didn't have someone tell me how easy it was to get help if you ask the right questions#so there's my word of wisdom for anyone who might benefit from it.......#also going to post tips about injections later because i think that would also help people out 👍
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[head in hands] i'm not doing so well
#i need to find an apartment in germany starting january because i got a job offer!! and i want OUT of my current living arrangement#i mean its perfectly fine lol i'm not dying i just dont know if i'll be happy in this other country. and i hate having so many roommates#and i'm pretty deep in mental illness because of how complicated it is to use the kitchen & because i don't know how to put together meals#not here that is :') some of my staples aren't available or Taste Bad JSFJFSJSFJKSFK#but yeah whenever i'm doing bad i start questioning everything and worrying that i'll never get a stable job or find a place to live yay hs
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Newbie question; and I assume the answer is no.
Can you find Stellar Tera type pokemon in raid dens? Are Tera type pokemon randomly generated in the terrarium or are they fixed spawns?
How do you get more stellar Tera shards anyway? Do you get Tera shards from beating wild Tera pokemon as well as raid den mons?
I wasn’t ever really paying attention to drops from wild Tera Pokemon, so I genuinely don’t know.
How would you farm stellar Tera shards anyway?
Sorry for throwing so many questions in the pokemon tags btw~~~ did a cursory quick search and only got how the Tera type works. Could always be looking in the wrong spots tho~~~
I’ll keep digging ~~~
#personal#question#questions#pokemon#pokemon scarlet and violet#Pokemon scarlet#pokemon violet#terastallization#tera#tera type#stellar#stellar Tera type#Tera shards#can you find them in raid dens?#I’m assuming no#how do you farm stellar tera shards?#is it useful if it doesn’t change the resistance or weaknesses?#idk why I had to sit on scarlet and violet for a year after it was released to play it and have fun#is a really fun game and I don’t regret buying it#sure it’s got some glitches in it and stuff but it’s still a good game#I hope Nintendo doesn’t rush the next games so that they’re more polished#more memory efficient and less laggy than this#they used to be really good at making games specifically for the hardware back in the snes and 64 days#yay complaints buried in the tags lol#noob questions#noob#Ty if anyone actually answers~~#I’ll keep looking around to see what I find on my questions
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taemin world tour is on the horizon i can feel it in my bones
#which means absolutely nothing to me because i am from russia and also poor but YAY!#i've got so many questions tho... no more taemari? they used some random duck in the teaser image#what about his back catalogue? did he leave it with sm? is there a way to take it with him? i know nothing about law btw.#me asking all of this as if i'm speaking directly to bpm and not my tumblr mutuals... sorry y'all#also the new logo... hm! tлemin#post.txt
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I know you've talked about your frustration with how difficult it is to make money with fiber art, but would you ever consider selling or trading for the dyed fleece you have? Not like opening an etsy shop and dying fleece just for selling or anything. But like, say I wanted to buy some hand veg dyed wool...you could destash some of what you have....then you could use that money to dye more wool.....infinite wool hack.
I trade my stuff all the time (and am always down to trade hand made and hand processed stuff for other handmade/hand processed !). I dunno if selling dyed fleece would actually be an infinite wool hack though; I haven't really done the math but like, if I buy 2 pounds of raw fleece for $25 (definitely a price I've paid before, idk if its standard for me off the top of my head), once I wash it I likely have anywhere between a pound and a pound a half (depending on breed and how dirty it was, the lanolin and dirt that I wash away can be up to 70% of the weight of a raw fleece, but usually closer to 50% in the breeds I like working with). So I'd have to sell a single pound of washed dyed fleece for like $35 ($10 shipping for 1 pound package is what I just paid at the post office a few days ago) just to get the money back from what i paid for the fleece in the first place--basically paying in labor and foraged materials (so more labor) for the joy of getting to dye wool for strangers. Idk about that. I'd definitely do it if it looked like I could get at least double the cost of the wool for it--Maybe people would pay a lot more, but I'd be a little surprised if that were true, honestly. It's a very nice idea and i wish the world worked that way :(
#as it is i just trade/gift away most of my wool#wool processing#no-pants-dan#adding price tags to my stuff tends to just make me feel like shit#because 1) it never ever moves the meter on how much money i need to survive each month#2) theres not a single thing i can do that doesnt cost in pain. not just time but pain and frequently the clear and measurable#degradation of my body per project#my body will degrade anyway becauae i have no choice but to find some kind of work#but at least the other work pays better and usually degrades my body slower#i feel deeply uncomfortable selling my art that for example is the piece that made me stop being able to knead dough by hand#id kinda rather keep it bc if i cant knead dough by hand anymore at least i can look at the physical manifestation#of what caused me to not be able to do that anymore#idk if that makes any sense#i suspect not bc ive been trying to explain this to my family for literally years#and they do not get it at all#i finally got them to shut up about it only by telling them i will no longer talk about it and if they ask i will leave the room#yay for boundaries. now i just need to get over how angry even being asked that question now makes me. lol
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at today’s staff meeting my supervisor was talking to one of my colleagues about her studying japanese and he said “well victoria and [other colleague] are probably going to take the jlpt so you could form a study group and study together” and both me and my other colleague were like wait what
#well now i feel like i have to take it lol#i did some jlpt level 5 practice qs and got 12/14 (one of them i was 50/50 on two answers but if i'd thought about it more would've got it)#so then... do i take level 5 bc i think i can pass or level 4 bc i don't think i can pass and will actually push myself?#the test is in july sooo#but the last time i tried these practice qs i bailed out less than halfway through bc they were too difficult#so yay real progress!#update: tried the n4 and there was too much i didn't know so i stopped#i don't want to just translate the questions/answers and then next time i try just remember the correct answers#if that makes sense?#i want to try again when i'm a higher level and have a better chance of actually understanding
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apparently sometimes I will just fall asleep for 2 hours, have a dream that consists entirely of having a lovely conversation with someone I really want to talk to more, then wake up, realise the conversation never happened, also remember how much I struggle with starting conversations sometimes, then just end up getting frustrated and upset about it
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#dream posting#I'm trying to get myself to be better at approaching people I want to talk to#and I'm trying to internalise the whole ''if you want to do it but you're scared then do it scared'' thing#but I also am just better at starting a conversation if I have a specific thing I can send someone or ask about or whatever#trying to send completely normal stuff like ''hey! how's it going'' feels so painfully scripted we start panicking about it sounding weird#which I've just realised probably came from some specific experiences as a teenager... fuck 🙃#apparently sometimes you get to randomly make a fun little connection between struggling to start conversations now#and being bullied by family members for any part of your speech that sounded ''scripted''#despite being the ones that taught you to use those scripts to start conversations in the first place#''you should open conversations like this and ask these questions'' and then we'd do exactly that and get made fun of in front of everyone#I fucking hate this. oh yay we were bullied for saying things like ''how's it going?'' and ''how are you today?''#and ''what have you been up to lately?'' and pretty much any other basic conversation opener#and now we can't start a fucking conversation the normal way because we feel too stiff and awkward and like we'll be judged for it#because we'd ask how someone was doing and be laughed at in front of everyone for sounding ''scripted'' and ''fake''#awesome. now I need to process all of that bullshit too#I'm realising how much we got bullied for our speech patterns in general and oh my fucking god
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me, attempting to write a pregnant character: I wonder what symptoms she'd be experiencing at around six months. I should look it up.
every goddamn fucking pregnancy and motherhood page in the entire world: You GOT this, you girlboss, you! You're going to be one 🎀badass mama llama!!🎀 If you don't follow every item on this 450-page list, your baby will hate you forever!!! But you totes got it, GURL!💕🤪⭐️ Have that 🌺unassisted home birth!!!🌺 Never EVER use painkillers or your baby will 🌷hate🌷 you because of the 💐toxins💐 😘 Breast is best!!! $85 designer pajamas your baby will only fit for 2 months are best!!!!!!!! Medicine = chemicals = you're a bad parent 💖🤗 Here's a downloadable PDF about everything you're doing wrong, mama! Isn't motherhood such a 🌸blessing🌸, mama? If you don't sacrifice your entire identity to motherhood, your Kaymbreigh and Braylynne will hate you FORVER 😚💋💏 BUT YOU GO GIRL, MAKE THAT BABY!!!! 💖💕💓💞💝
#seriously it's so obnoxious#every other page for every other health-related question is like hi. here's some basic info#but pregnancy? hoooo boy#everything is weirdly judgmental and crunchy but written with this overly supportive girlboss tone#it'll be like “if you ever so much as THOUGHT about an epidural your baby will murder you. YAY GIRLBOSS GO GIRL YOU GOT IT MAMA BEAR”#i have to wonder how much of it is related to these blogs promoting really anti scientific practices#they're always like YASSS GURL you know more than every doctor#YASSS TRUST THEM MOTHERLY INSTINCTS and don't vaccinate!!!!#they're only supportive because they want to make pregnant women confident enough to reject established science#(and I know there's a whole conversation to be had about different parenting styles and the medicalization of birth and whatever#but this is not that.#it's all garbage about how essential oils are way better than antibiotics and how mental illness is a sham to put chemicals in your body.)
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invitational/class debate/persuasive speech topic is whether k12 teachers should be mandatory reporters yayy
#guy next to me is doing if the us should adopt the autobahn laws w no speed limit thats fun 👍#anyways a lot to discuss teacher likes it. i think its fun to pick a topic that everyone knows abt but nobody questions#like on the daily unless they had a personal bad experience w it#a few boring topics but some fun ones 👍 i love this teacher and this class once we get beyond the initial personal speech#i can talk abt a subject so good#got 83 on last speech though i went over time and lack of pauses and i didnt verbally cite source at a few points i forgor#but thats a good score yay
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we had fun tho the whole family hung out and we did some sporclee and chronophoto and then globle me n lamp nd father did globle bc mein mamma went to sleep. yay :]
#nd i think tmrw or something like that me n my mom will finish off 13s run in de#which im excited for bc im rly excited to get to 15 bc my mom loves it and im excited to be caught up so we cn talk abt everything#i am a bit bummed i ws rly hoping 2 like 13s seasons better this time around.. but i didnt :[ just the writing didnt come together 4 me and#i feel like the companions weren't developed much at all#and im famously a timeless child hater like i think its stupid for the dr to be the timeless child. like if there hss to be a timeless child#Fine ig its a fine origin story its kind of a like. answering a question nobody asked thing#where like. yk. i was fine with the tjme lords judt having regeneration#but mein mamma told me that they like drop all that and it is Nottt mentioned again eith the new writers which is so funny#the blessing and the curse new writers. bc the blessing is if there was a writing decision i dont like The new writers will completely#abandon it and go do their own shit. the downside is they do the same for things i do like#missy what happeneddd like where. UGH we cant even get into it i miss my princess so badly it hurts#ik we like. saw her die im just like. bc this master was not at all like.. it just doesnt feel like a continuation at all#my moms theory is he might actually be an earlier incarnation of the master since they never actually specify. nd then i was checking the#wiki and rheres some weird stuff like. missy forcing all of her Good parts to regenerate into some other lady and then like.#idk it just said that. so idk if that implies the bad parts regenerated into like. evil master... i dont know. but wtvr. im excited#and a little birdie told me donnaaaaa will be baaaaaaaaackkkkkk which is the best thing that could ever happen to me im SO excited. my#friend donna#i like that like. i like getting new companions inlike when companions dont overstay their welcome cough cough. clara. but i do love seeing#companions come back like sry it does get me everytime im always like My friend my friend my friend. yk. i just love to seeing them again...#oh i got distracted. i was gonna say i rly dislike the dr being the timeless child bc i rly like when the dr is judt like. a guy. gender#neutral my mom laughed at me bc i said rhat earlier and went That sounded like im complaining abt hrr being a woman. im noy#THATS WHY I WANTED 2 LIKE HER LIKE. im so bummed that the first female dr is the one with In my opinion the weakest writing. like fml. tho i#havent seen any of the older stuff so idk... just from 9 onwards is what iiiiive got going.#but ya. i ws so worried voicing my criticisms to my mom bc i ws worried i ws just being a hater or nitpicky#but my mom agreed with me on a lot and ya. i rly like discussing stuff w my mom even tho im almodt positive i annoy her sometimes bc i get#too busy discussing my theories and being like And what about this and i get distracted from the show where theyrelike#explainjng somrthing jm asking abt. JFBFJFNT#i judt love discussion. and its tly fun to talk abt it with my mom :] yay#like ikit snnoys ppl when someone talks while watching smth or theorizes while watching smth lr asks questions that will be answered#but lke its my fav part of watching things w ppl 😭😭😭 im fr the yapperrr
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over here creating an extended web (hehe) of japan-based tma ocs bc of the fucking. entities as jfashion styles post.
#the thought process went that post > wow i should draw that so ppl would better understand it > i should include bonus details abt the diff#avatars if i do draw it though or it'll just be fashion illustrations w entities tacked on > wow it's late i should shower. sury this is th#train of thought i want to take w me in there > uh oh i have an oc > idk what to do w her though. ooh what if i made fanstatements for each#entity set here then i can figure her out > yay i can evoke my fave type of horror media (being gay in a conservative japanese small town#sucks but there are also monsters so now we get to explore how those two are allegorically connected) > i should use this time stuck hiding#from the rain to write notes > this thunder is loud as fuck. mike crew moment. > wait hold on. she's vast aligned i Do know what to do w he#> i kinda want her and my small town extinction girlie i came up w in the meantime to be connected somehow but they seem like they'd be oil#and water so i've got no real way to force them to meet. guess i'll use the other entities to fill the gap > still researching my extinctio#girlie. some of what i'd like to include here abt this fictional town is kinda giving more end than extinction > i'll just put my end#statement in the same town. guess it has a lot of fucked up shit going on. > oh my god i've created hilltop road... 2! > i need to dedicate#a significant portion of this to this fucking town > waittt but then i'd have to neglect my vast girlie > well if i explore her more#city-centric plotline i won't have enough room for this town and it'll end up just like the og hilltop road. neglected and w unanswered#questions and abandoned plotlines. > I Am Going To Make More Than 15 Of These#romeo.txt
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I’ve spend like three weeks not knowing how to prepare anymore for an exam, now it’s like 14 hours away and I’m second guessing everything but I still can’t tell what I could have really done
#I’ve got my own talk ready a#as can be#and then there’s questions after#but I’m not really nervous for the talking Spanish part bc I’m fairly good at that#and they don’t judge us based on our speaking really as long as we’re understandable#and I’ve mentally prepared for some questions#but I can’t guess any narrower what it’s gonna be#so I just really want it to be fucking over now#I’ll sleep now and then I have a couple of hours tmr before it happens#ughh#uni life yay#me
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