#wrecked the hell out of me.
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My Great Grandma who loved her babies very much
Reference that I used for the face!
#I was scrolling through pinterest and saw this woman and I was like: She looks EXACTLY like how I imagine Stan and Ford's mother to look#my art#gravity falls#mabel pines#dipper pines#ig??#caryn romanoff pines#caryn pines#mabel voice: she must have been one hell of a mother to have had to deal with Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford when they were kids!#DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW SHE MIGHT HAVE DIED THINKING STANFORD AND STANLEY NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO RECONCILE#DO U EVER THINK ABOUT HOW SHE MUST HAVE BEEN PLAGUED WITH REGRETS AND WHAT-IFS OVER STAN BEING KICKED OUT- WISHING SHE COULD HAVE DONE MORE#DOES THE THOUGHT THAT STANFORD MIGHT HAVE NEVER GOTTEN THE CHANCE TO VISIT HER AT HER DEATHBED OR HER FUNERAL SINCE HE WAS STUCK ELSEWHERE??#EVER HAUNT YOU AT NIGHT???#DOES IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT SHE MIGHT HAVE KNOWN ALL ALONG ABOUT STANLEY- SINCE SHE'S THEIR MOTHER AND “WHAT KIND OF MOTHER CAN'T#RECOGNISE HER OWN CHILDREN APART“#THEY MEET AT STAN'S FUNERAL LIKE: “STANLEY I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED- NOR WHY THAT CASKET AT THE FRONT IS EMPTY RIGHT NOW AND WHY WE'RE#CURRENTLY ATTENDING YOUR FUNERAL- OR WHY YOU'RE EVEN DRESSED UP AS FORD RIGHT NOW.“#“I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON STANLEY- BUT I DO KNOW THAT ONE OF MY SONS DIDN'T DIE IN A DITCH SOMWHERE IN THE FLAMING WRECK OF A CAR CRASH-#AND THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME.“#SHE GOT THAT MOTHER'S INSTINCT#stan twins parents
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*Archives your Magnus*
#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#melanie king#basira hussain#daisy tonner#fanart#alice tma#tarantula#PLEASEEEEE PLease please please I love them so much this relisten is wrecking me#messing with my brain so bad i start thinking about tma and my heart n brain get scrambled#(i am very normal about media)#This podcast means sm to me :´) im so glad I came back to it <3#I have nothing new to say about the podcast i.e. literary analysis but oh man i am enjoying the hell out of it#makes me feel happy#myart
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instead of putting eight in more situations what about we put her in pretty clothes. for me
#splatoon#agent 8#my stuff#this was supposed. to have been posted by yesterday. but im giving myself a pass#i went through four different ideas before i settled on this one#plus sometime during that i absolutely wrecked my phone (booooo) and had to get that figured out#but its ok cause eight is cute.#i gave her the e-liter for the hell of it too#you look up to see a charger laser pointed at you. its eight in this exact fit wdyd.#id let her shoot me#can y'tell i like eight yet#anyway whats this? inktober 6? im losing count and im going insane
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i genuinely cannot stand being around ppl who have to take their anger out on others . i'm so sick of always having to act like the bigger person to my Older brother while he can just tornado around my entire life & belongings & relationships without warrant all over smthing that had absolutely nothing to do with you or anyone, rlly.
#but HE runs and tells on ME?#i was just going to let shit blow over#lock myself away as fucking alwys like when we were little and he would cuss up a fucking storm#screaming crying and throwing the shit i bought over being unable to beat a game he plays every fucking day#set on fucking Easy mode#and hes hitting a bat into the door or wrecking my shit in my room or fucking. yelling abt me to the fuckin dog#and in the 'dog's voice' making the animal agree with him bcs im? acting crazy#over a fcking video game that u cant even tell him to turn off or at least stop fucking screaming and wailing or else it'll just set it off#sooner#when dad did it he was fcking drunk and i was illegitimate#it's like i cant even fcking escape fcking hell.#hiding all my bad grades in math bcs i couldnt read a stupid fking number right bcs i didnt want ppl screaming at me#for causing even more trouble than they already have to deal with and just living as dumb bcs it costs less#ill get over it ill try harder#i always have to be the bigger fucking man and im so fucking tired of it#but how are u supposed to cut off someone youve been assigned caretaker as b4 u were even born#im so fucking exhausted#anyways so yea. im pretty sensitive to tone so if i seem like a baby to smthing i apologize#i rlly just. cant stand sme things sometimes#i love getting told i never felt like a friend to my other siblings not only bcs of our massive age gap but also theyre legitimate and#i dont drink or smoke so apparently we cant hang without them always checking the time on their phones#while im taking them out to smthing they like like it's so fun i fcking love it here#anyways yea. love zero comprehension or compassion. love it. loving my life
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I got a very specific dp x dc twin au idea. And i dont have friends in the fandom so to tumblr it goes
So a very basic danny was raised in the loa and eventually escapes to amity park and gets adopted and becomes phantom and does his thing.
A new ghost shows up and causes everyone to have a number above their head. Its not just any random number. Its the number you feel the most negative/insecure/stressed/ashamed over. It could be your height, the amount of debt u have or like a million of other things. For some people its fairly easy to figure out and some seem really random. Maybe the ghost goes around revealing what the numbers mean for people.
Dannys number seems kinda random but he absolutely refuses to tell anyone what his number means and he is scrambling to get rid of the ghost before it gets revealed. After all it doesnt really matter if his kill count gets revealed as fenton or phantom, the life hes built for himself would be in shambles.
#dpxdc#no idea how this would play out#i just liked the idea of dannys friends being baffled over this random ass number making danny into a wreck#also like its his past haunting him but not because the league found him or anything#its just the most unfortunate ghost to have to fight for danny specifically#idk what the number for danny would specifically be but id think its in the double digits for this one#imagine it getting revealed very publically as phantom#and he has to be there like#for the record every single one of those was BEFORE i died and became a ghost#or as fenton#like how the hell is he even supposed to defend that one#anyway if this idea interests anyone as much as it did me then feel free to use as a prompt or smth
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#i’m terrified to ever watch this movie. i think it would kill me. basically it’s about a marriage falling apart.#anyway—adam driver would do so good as bobby in company and i would die to see him in it#i’m seeing company tonight!!#it’s a special musical to me. it’s about marriage. how marriage is both exciting and boring and makes your life better and worse.#the months leading up to our wedding i was kind of a cynical mental wreck. there was so much i did not like about my husband-to-be.#sometimes i felt like the only reason i was going through with the marriage was because it was too late to get out of it.#i had spent my teen and college years wanting to have a boyfriend/husband then i got one and realized#oh wait this didn’t actually fix my problems huh#actually there are NEW problems now#and then somehow this past year has actually been like. the best year of my life lol#it’ll be a year next month!#yea there are still those Little Things. sometimes there are Bigger Things. but bruh this dude is so good for me#i have never been thriving as much as i have this year.#i’m so much healthier in so many ways than i have ever been all my life#and like it’s cringe to say that cuz i don’t want to say MARRIAGE is what fixed me but. i think it’s okay to say that#there must be some kind of GOOD to marriage otherwise there’d be no point in doing it#and i think i make his life better too. he tells me so at least lol.#and i’ll only be able to watch the show with one eye LOL but my husboi will be with me watching this musical#that i used to listen to when i was angsty about getting married#and now we are married#and life is great.#somebody need me too much#somebody know me too well#somebody pull me up short and put me through hell#and give me support#for being alive…#yeah there are times when it’s harder than being single but. the blessings are multiplied along with the hardship.#shywalker stuff#Youtube
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I'm having a strong belief based on nothing but my own conviction that this weekend I'll finally respond to everyone here and irl that I've been neglecting because I've been feeling overwhelmed for no particular reason.
Have faith in me, please. I need it.
#do you like my long sentence?#would Proust be proud?#it's 5 am and I'm being delusional af#but who knows#but maybe it will turn out to be true#I also drank alcohol and did other stupid things yesterday because a small thing set me off on the path of self- destruction#and I feel stulkd and I feel worthless#I know that it's not true intellectually but emotionally I'm a wreck and feel like everyone's mad at me#anyway#hello if you've read this far you get a hug#if you want it#if not you don't get a hug but you get my deep appreciation of your commitment to read my stupid tags#thanks everyone and see you in#idk where#I wanted to say hell but why would YOU be in hell#see you in a while!!!#hopefully#I miss you guys
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Would've posted the last update yesterday but I basically collapsed into bed the moment I got home, so y'all can have it now lmao. I managed to hold it together until around 9pm, at which point I'd been working for over 12 hours at that point, so I think I did pretty good. Supervisor hit us on the radio to tell us it looked like we wouldn't be done til past midnight, and we were supposed to be out of there by 10pm, so that was the last straw for me bc I just wanted to go home and I mumbled something about going to the bathroom so I could cry for a minute. Came back, apparently that was also the last straw for my partner who evidently knew literally the entire time bc dude fucking goes "so do you wanna talk or are we just gonna keep pretending you haven't been feeling like shit all day", I tried to downplay it, it didn't work obviously, he looked at me like 😒, you hate to see it. He wanted to make sure I wasn't actually gonna become a patient so he did a quick assessment, my vitals were ✨ abnormal ✨ which was fun. We didn't have to do much else work related the rest of the shift so it was nice to just vibe for a bit. Finally got to leave, partner didn't trust me to drive myself home that late while I was still running a fever so he drove me home, we got food on the way back, I showered, then immediately went to sleep after crying a little but bc everything hurt so bad lmao
#not snz#just me being a fucking wreck lmao#i was still at 101 when my partner checked so it didn't get better at all like i thought it would lmao#i feel a hell of a lot better now tho#amazing what sleep can do for a bitch lmao#also my partner is definitely not doing a good job convincing me that he doesn't like me bc dude#who's out here doing all that for a person they don't like#and he texted me this morning to make sure i was still alive lmao#like sir are you aware that this is bestie behavior#To Me#i forgot to give him his jacket back tho 😔 negative partner points for me#it's okay I'll just give it back to him washed with snacks in the pockets lmao that'll make up for it probably#I'm gonna have to buy that man so much food tho like i feel bad ahakdkajdl#anyway i got to be a corpse today so that was cool#my parents went to get my car for me bc i had to leave it there ahdkkakd#partner posting
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At this point I’m putting my money on the end-credits scene of Mando S3 being the place Kalluzeb gets canonized. Just Zeb talking to Kallus, either on holo or in person, and their tone and words leave no room for interpretation.
It would be a nifty lil segue into the Ahsoka show, bc what would they be talking about except whatever is gonna happen there
BUT ALSO how chad of a move would it be to just drop that nonchalantly like a mic at the very last possible moment and then step back and watch us all lose our minds?!?!! End credits scene is Mentos and we’re Coke, that’s the chaos that would ensue (I don’t have to tell you that, if you’re reading this you’re probably a part of the Coke pool) and I really want to believe the Star Wars people could be that gremliny-gobliny about it
#also I'm going to be a nervous wreck if they make us wait until the Ahsoka show to find out if Kalluzeb is canon#that would be gremliny-gobliny too but not in the funny way#in the 'Star Wars why in the jellyroll-loving bottlecap-popping knee-slapping hell do you dislike me so' kind of way#manifesting for next Wednesday#also I will have you know that is not how I thought segue was spelled#swear I thought it was spelled the same as...segway#boy was that an impolite awakening#kalluzeb#Garazeb Orrelios#alexsandr kallus#Star Wars#the mandalorian#mando S3#end-credits postulation#ahsoka show#martianbugsbunny ships
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you can do it. you can make it through the summer hiatus season. you will return, and you will get your blorbos back.
#coming from me#a veteran of the summer hiatus hell of podcast land#it's like do y'all Have to act like hollywood in this way#in some ways it's good because then i can always find new shows to binge the hell out of#in others it is a curse#podcasts#shitposts#podcast shitposts#the magnus protocol#welcome to nightvale#old gods of appalachia#old gods of appalachia pod#wtnv#tmagp#im out here acting like i'm not horrifically behind on like literally every show rn because life has been absolutely wrecking me rn#but once i catch up it's over for me and y'all
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okay what would vaati's weapon and moveset be if he got into hyrule warriors
Gonna be real here: Wizzro essentially serves the same role Vaati would.
A spunky little sorceror who gets stuck doing all the work (sonce Volga especially is known for "slacking off" in the early game, who uses disguises to fool his enemies, and summons large monsters for a leg up on the fight.
I imagine his moveset woukd be similar too. A huge emphasis on rapid, ranged attacks, which makes it a headache to get in close. From what I remember, theres not a wind element in game, so Vaati would either be a darkness user, or a lightning one (yes i know he uses other elements but i feel these are the ones Nintendo would go with)
Naturally, his magic meter attack woukd be his Reborn form, and his special would be his Wrath form.
I can see one combo turning enemies to stone a and shattering them too.
#vaati#actually started replaying the game yesterday and its lowkey infuriating how similar Wizzro and Vaati feel#wizzro is a great design on his own but come on#small purple wizard whos needlessly verbose#gets stuck with all the work#and is overly excited about wrecking his enemies while almost never fighting them face to face?#vaati is perfect for that role#yeah yeah i get the capcom hell thing wouldnt allow it. just hear me out
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feeling lonely tonight y’all
#i had an abundance of company last night#at least before bed#and then I was too tired to give a shit#but tonight I don’t even have my gf#idk I’m just feeling sad ig :(#I really want my Dom to pay more attention to me#and I figured out why#which is a whole tangled mess of daddy issues#y’know for not being involved in it at all that man sure fuckin wrecked my life#idk#I just feel like if i was better or more maybe I would be Special to my Dom and get more of his attention#which like not true#but my obsessive thoughts are making one hell of a case#I just wanna feel special and worth something and I wanna be spoiled with affection#and I want someone that’ll take care of me#and be the responsible and in control one for once#now I’m just rambling oops#personal
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Genuinely do NOT want to go to work today,,,,,,i'm so fucking exhausted and dealing with people is the absolute LAST thing i wanna do
#eight hours of bullshit and over-stimulation is gonna wreck me#and even though i took my meds i'm still anxious as hell#too much has been going on with people thats out of my control and i can't deal with it right now#AUGH#screams at the abyss
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It is only first month of 2024, and I've already lost not one but two subjects of nightmares, paranoia and reoccurring emotional torture. I really wish there was another way to get rid of these besides having extremely painful conversations.. but at least these scars are closing, one by one
#/vent#personal#and this time was like.. opposite of the previous one#previous one absolutely wrecked me with very ugly insight and basically made all puzzle pieces fall together#this one was just pain and crying and having my worst suspicions about other person AND self faced and confirmed#but again it got solved#I really want the power to move on without having a closure.#I hope I will be strong enough for it one day.#I just need to think..#I think I really should avoid other depressed/traumatised people until something can be done with how I react at perceived threats#(which is eternity because hell I know when I will be able to afford therapy. probably never with how my life situation is going)#as jarring as being close only with 'healthy' people would be I just can't make things worse for both me and them#until I can change my default response from aggression into avoidance I'll just stay away from anyone with depression#I say very terrible things when I feel threatened and it is way too easy to make me feel threatened. it is THE easiest thing in the world.#I won't survive without close friends anyhow but there is category of people that can't recover from these words normally#I mean I am ALSO this 'category'. I also hurt from awful words thrown at me for MONTHS don't I#it is very hard to be aware of my glaring flaws when everyone that points them out is outright malicious and wants me bullied off the Earth#and then everyone who does think I deserve my human rights either doesn't see my flaws or doesn't mention them#so at least discussing it without outright intention to harm me was helpful for a change#maybe one day I'll have a friend that can be open if I've hurt them a lot so I can work on it but that's another story I guess
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Books of 2024: KILLING FLOOR by Lee Child.
This isn't a genre I typically read; HOWEVER!: my dream agent was on an episode of the Writing Excuses podcast about beginnings, and they said this one is Very Good, so I borrowed my dad's paperback copy to give it a whirl.
I'm low-key hoping this will help me sort out some Genre Issues™ I suspect I'm having with a writing project, too, which is a nice added bonus! Excited to see how this goes.
#books#books of 2024#killing floor#lee child#jack reacher#i think i used to read more stuff Like This in high school??#because it's my dad's big genre and he'd let me borrow books lmao#but i think i drifted away from it because i found out there was other weirder shit going on in different genre corners#and i love weird funny fucked up shit#no shade on the thriller genre it's just not something i've read much of lately!#this will be Good For Me haha#and yeah okay dongwon and MRK talking about it made me more likely to pick it up than my dad at this stage of my life#but he still had a copy so now i have a copy (borrowed) :)#don't get me started on the 'does this mean we can reopen book borrowing' convo he wants to have tho#like no sir you wrecked my paperback LOCKE LAMORA and i'm still salty about it#because you didn't care about it#and you think storing books in our dank-ass basement is taking care of them and it's NOT#we have different standards of care and you don't meet mine#and you eat in bed all the time and i don't want your greasy ass hands on my books >:(#so i don't FEEL like it's hypocrisy not to want to share#but did i look at HPB and B&N for copies of this because of that?? yes yes i did.#i did not find a used copy i was willing to pay $4 for#and i sure as hell wasn't gonna pay $10 for it new so.....#borrowed here#library was my next stop but. he found it.#ANYWAY#i'm gonna log off and go read past the first page i think#(oh sidenote the Genre Issues are:#aw#lucius
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#KNOCK ONCE FOR THE FATHER TWICE FOR THE SON THREE TIMES FOR THE HOLY GHOST#I’M A NERVOUS WRECK I’M NERVOUS WRECK OH HELL YES THE DRUGS JUST MAKE ME RESET#three times for the holy ghosttt. i feel closest to the religon i was raised in through music#btw can u tell#fall out boy#my text#this folie á deux shit is no joke 😭#Spotify
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