#i’m so much healthier in so many ways than i have ever been all my life

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved on our archive

By Kelly Betts

People can’t see my disability from the outside. I worry that in this current political climate and with the new law, it may not end at the comments and harassment I already face.

On Thursday, officials in Nassau County, New York, where I live, signed a mask ban into law, one of the first of its kind in the country. And while to most healthy adults it doesn’t mean much, to those with serious health conditions, like me, it makes getting out into the world a lot harder.

The ban was touted by lawmakers as a public safety measure after reported antisemitic incidents and protests at various New York universities, many involving people wearing masks. Those who violate the new law face a misdemeanor charge punishable by up to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine. And while there are exemptions for people with religious and medical reasons, it’s not dealing with the law that I’m afraid of. It’s dealing with the “citizen cops” of the world who will be using their discretion to enforce it.

I was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia in February 2023. It’s a fast-growing type of blood cancer. I underwent more than five rounds of chemotherapy, and the following July, thanks to an amazingly generous donor, I had a stem cell transplant, something I knew nothing about until I got sick. I was given some of the most powerful chemotherapies to kill my old immune system and any remaining cancer cells. Then I was given my donor’s stem cells to help build a brand-new immune system.

There are a lot of risks that come along with the transplant, especially in the early stages as the stem cells are engrafting and you have no immune system. The first 100 days are the riskiest, and you must watch everything from what you eat to how it’s prepared, and most of all the people around you. Your body is starting from scratch, so you have almost no immunities. Any vaccinations you’ve had over your lifetime have been wiped out. For the last year since my transplant, my immune system has slowly been getting stronger. But building a new immune system takes years, and I have a long way to go. So, wearing my face mask whenever I go out is essential.

That brings me back to the new law. I wear a medic alert bracelet and would hope that showing it to the police, should it ever become an issue, would be enough. But that’s not guaranteed, because anyone can just order one. Would I be forced to show up in court to prove my medical condition to a judge? And what cost and time could that take, all to protect my health? And what about my family or people who act as caregivers, who don’t technically have medical conditions of their own, but still wear masks to protect me? Would there be an exemption for them?

Most of all, I worry about those who have strong feelings against masks. As we know, many people read headlines and not always the full story. And just reading most of the headlines, all someone will know is that there’s a mask ban in Nassau County. Even at the height of my illness, with no hair and really looking like I had cancer, I still got comments like “Covid is over” or “that’s not protecting you.” And while the few comments hurt, especially while I was battling for my life, I could shake them off. I had a bigger fight ahead of me.

Now, healthier with hair again and 43 years old, the comments continue. But I worry that in this current political climate and with the new law, it may not end at that. People can’t see my disability from the outside. It’s been hard to get back out in the world, as many can relate to after going through a global pandemic. Even being as careful as I am and just starting to let my guard down a little in outdoor settings, I caught Covid. And it took my body and immune system down hard. Luckily, I’m recovering and back to wearing my mask diligently, even outdoors.

I want to be able to return to my normal life. And go out with friends, see a Broadway show, and one day get back to my office in the city. But now with New York City considering passing its own mask ban, I don’t know when I would feel safe enough to do that. Is this law really protecting the masses?

[ethereal-angel111]

Things I’m doing in 2025 for the biggest glow up in history

Step 1: Screen time limits and no more doomscrolling. I’m going to be putting limits on certain apps the only social media apps that won’t have limits is Pinterest and YouTube

Step 2: Mindful eating! My goal is to lose weight but why go on a stressful diet when you can just manifest it lolz. But I do feel the need to be slightly healthier than what I am at the moment. Also gonna work on manifesting that everything I eat is healthy even if others see it as “unhealthy” cuz I’ve seen that manifestation work for a lot of other people :)

Step 3: Get some sort of exercise daily. Doesn’t matter what it is or when I do it it just needs to happen at least once per day

Step 4: Live in the end and be delusional. My goal is to live like I already have everything I desire and to stop caring about the 3D and other peoples input.

Step 5: manifest, affirm and persist as much as possible. Pretty self explanatory lol

Step 6: achieve desired style and aesthetic. I’ve been pretty unhappy with my current aesthetic so I wanna work on that

Step 7: have so many hobbies and be good at all of them. Right now I don’t have many hobbies and I never work on them ever but I wanna change that in 2025! The main hobbies I wanna work on is art, dancing, singing/rapping, fashion, makeup, editing, journaling, and content creation

Step 8: Grow on social media! I want to be popular online and have my desired fans/fanbase!

Step 9: Make and listen to lots of subliminals. My goal is to have a subliminal go up on my channel at least twice a week! I also want to listen to my sub playlist at least once a day

Step 10: Develop an unbreakable mindset. I want my mindset to be perfect and 100% unstoppable! I’m actually working on this one right now so I can be prepared for the new year

Step 11: Become my OC irl!!! This is one of my main manifestations but in the new year I wanna work on this one on a new level. I made my OC to be my dream self before I even found out about manifestation. I thought there was no way I could be like her so I would just daydream about her constantly but now that I know about manifestation I know becoming her irl is possible

Step 12: Treating myself like a god/deity. I already do this one a lot and I talk about it a lot because I swear by it!! I wanna take it to the next level in the new year tho because I deserve it <3

Step 13: Always feel motivated/inspired. Pretty self explanatory tbh but I feel like I need to bring my motivation and inspiration back from the dead

Step 14: stop doing the things I want to stop doing. Bad habits and anything I want to stop is gonna be out after new years. Skin picking is the biggest thing I want to stop but I have multiple things on the list of things I wanna stop doing

Step 15: connect with Mother Earth more. I love her and I want to spend more time with her 💚💚 I feel that spending time in nature and with Mother Earth is important and I don’t do it enough

Step 16: stop being afraid or embarrassed to do things. I’m gonna do whatever I want when I want fuck embarrassment it’s literally a societal construct. I’m not gonna limit myself or my life to make it more palatable to others

Step 17: post lots. I wanna learn to post a lot online while also not spending all my time doomscrolling on social media. Also I wanna make up for all the negativity and over sharing I posted on social media in the past by posting fun, creative and nice posts

Step 18: MAIN CHARACTER ENERGY!! I’m the main character and I’m gonna act like it. The whole world is gonna see me as the main character of life! >:3

Step 19: live like your dream self. Before I do literally anything I’m going to think “would my dream self do this?” Or “what would my dream self do right now.” This mindset will help me become my dream self so quickly I can feel it!

Step 20: become a global well loved it girl. Not much to say about this one lol

Step 21: take lots of pics and vids for memories. I used to take so many pictures and videos all the time to look back on and now I never do which is kind of sad

Step 22: prove everyone wrong. I wanna show everyone that they should have never doubted me or given up on me. I want everyone who ever treated me wrong to realize how much they fumbled

Step 23: spoiling myself and letting others spoil me. I deserve princess treatment from everyone including myself :)

Step 24: no more procrastination, if it needs to be done then do it ASAP. I’m sick of never getting anything done and stressing about shit I don’t need to be stressing about

Step 25: move out. I need my own place desperately y’all don’t even know LOL

Step 26: get the income of my dreams. I’m sick of having no money y’all

Step 27: get dream job/jobs. I wanna be a full time artist, idol, and content creator. I wanna start my own business and stuff! ૮꒰ྀི >⸝⸝⸝<꒱ྀིა

Step 28: achieve my dream sleep schedule. I wanna wake up at 9:30am and be asleep by 12:00am every night. I’ve already been working on this one a ton and I’m doing really well!

Step 29: manifest/work on achieving my dream appearance and personality. This is one of the biggest things I wanna manifest and work on in 2025!

Step 30: meditate and journal daily. I used to do this all the time and it had so many benefits so I definitely wanna start getting back into it

Step 31: look into dreams and their meanings. I’ve heard a lot of people talk about gaining a lot of insight on their life through learning about their dreams and what they mean so I want to give it a try

Step 32: be grateful for everything and show gratitude for the present instead of constantly complaining about it. I’ve heard people talk about how this mindset helped them manifest faster and I personally feel that this is a beneficial mindset to have even if you aren’t manifesting

Step 33: show my kindness, love and empathy to at least one thing a day (preferably more). It can be a living thing or a non living thing it doesn’t really matter

Step 34: become more knowledgeable on my species! I am part human but I’m also part a couple other things (I don’t feel comfortable saying them here tho). I wanna learn and connect with my species more :3

Omg this post is so long I’m sorry (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) thank you for reading and I hope some of these steps help to inspire some of you as well! Let’s all become the best version of ourselves and live our dream lives in 2025!

[ryuichirou]

Replies

New week!

Replies mostly related to our recent posts, but some are miscellaneous (twst related and not). Also, there is a shitpost sketch at the end of the post lol

Anonymous asked:

Just a random question but what was your very first ship?

Can’t even say for certain because it’s been like 20 years already lol But the first one that I called a ship would probably be Cedric/Phobos from W.I.T.C.H.

Look at me loving backstabbing scheming douchebags since day one…

Anonymous asked:

I feel like their was two bodies after the twins delt with things, cause even tiny as heck I can see them taking bodies

(related to this post)

Aw come on, Anon, look at those innocent angels!! (you are absolutely right)

Anonymous asked:

hi i sent the cat dad ask, that was the CUTEST thing i’ve ever read in my entire life it was adorable and everything and more than what i’d hoped for omg!! my flowers are watered, my skin is clear, my illness is cure😭😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

idia being the most enamored cat dad is so cute AAUGGHHH i think lilia would make matching outfits for him and his cat, maybe with pop music club’s help. vil cooking for his cat!!! 😭😭😭 oh his pretty kitty would have their own engraved bowl. i think vil would send so many pictures to his dad

all of this is extra cute to me with the idea that i had that these strays are probably leading difficult lives on the streets but aren’t scared of humans. it’d be a “to be loved is to be changed” moment (pls look it up it’s before and afters of sad cats and it’s SO CUTE). ok i’m sorry i’ll stop haranguing you about cats JSKDKDKS THANK YOU AGAIN

— shroudswap anon

(related to this post)

Aah, it was you, Shroudswap Anon!!

I am very happy you liked the post, once again thank you for the ask! <3 It really was a lovely one to write! Somehow, it’s easier to write wholesome stuff about boys caring for animals than for each other lol

But also, what have you done, now I’m thinking about Vil sending cat pics to his dad… His dad became a grandpa the day that cat chose Vil as his human lol I’m sure he is going to send them even more gifts than Vil buys for the cat + spoil the cat rotten as much as he can.

But also, what have you done [2], now I’m also thinking about how these strays would be so much happier and healthier with the boys taking care of them :( To be loved is to be changed indeed!! Just look at Jamil smiling to his cat lol

I’m always happy to talk about cats…

Anonymous asked:

Sister Idia must be the very image of a saint with his ethereal glow. Nevermind that the glow is coming from his hair, that's just a physical manifestation of God's grace, obviously.

Also be honest, are the sick nuns getting a healthy diet of shrooms in the infirmary? I guess that's one way to experience mystical ecstasy

(related to our new AU)

The symbolism is all here, Anon! That imagery suits Idia so well. I really want to draw him holding a lamb or something lol

To answer your question… people say that sister Jade cares for the sick ones so well that whenever it’s their time to go, they always die smiling <3 It’s like their pain just went away and they fell asleep peacefully~

So yes, he does feed them with stuff they’re not quite supposed to eat and add some funky additions to the stuff he injects them with lol

m1lk-n-cook1es asked:

The nun au reminds me of a Little Mermaid fanfic from the same author as "Once Upon A Nightmare" that I told you a while back, where mermaids are more inhuman, with tentacles that look like fins in the distance, claws and fangs, and Ariel banging Eric (who is a trans guy) and impregnating him with her eggs

Dark themes and mermaids are always fun!! In fact, I think people should consider merpeople to be dangerous more often lol

Fun idea for a fic though :) Poor Eric lol

Anonymous asked:

I saw your Gidel and Fellow doodle on your twitter about the name change and I LOVE THAT SO MUCH cause I'm also thinking the same thing 🤣

"It's for our disguise Giddy!~" 🦊

Everyone calls him all sort of different names, Fellow said so himself (Episode 1-3) 😆

This bitch probably has done a lot of name changes for his con jobs n shit. (¬‿¬) 💚

(referring to this sketch from a 🔑twt acc, since it’s not for ko-fi and just a shitpost, here you go. He can’t even read the papers...)

Thank you Anon!! <3 Just like any other person I really hate that name change, but thinking about Fellow having lots of different names pacifies me a little bit lol Well, at least it makes me laugh and not want to break walls.

I wonder if Fellow has a guy that helps him out with fake ids… maybe his bosses make it easier for him these days; he probably used to go to various shady people before. But then again, they probably don’t always need to have papers… just come up with a name and go! Right, Ernesto? Good grief…

tardigrade-misfit asked:

Silver looks so adorable in his lil hoodie meanwhile Sebek looks like he only agreed to wear it because it was Malleus themed lol

(related to this post)

Thank you! Yeah, Silver is a cutie pie, as always lol Sebek should wear that hoodie with pride! He is closer to his beautiful waka-sama with those little horns on his hood.

I love these hoodies a lot; they are from that one drawing that Yana did of Diasomnia boys going to a movie theater. Katsu and I both are so obsessed with it; they look so adorable wearing those! I wish Yana did more sketches with characters hanging out like that, but of course I am grateful for everything she already does…

Anonymous asked:

I saw the latest comic about Gidel and Fellow Honest (I refuse to use the English names) on kofi and I think I have a proposition. I’ll be their sugar whatever but I get to touch their fuzzy ears now and again. Do you think they’d accept my terms?

Since we got this ask the same day we posted previously mentioned sketch (also a comic), I assumed you were referring to this one as well, but come to think about it we did have a Gidel and Fellow comic posted on ko-fi the other week…

Regardless! I think you absolutely should be their sugar whatever (… parent?), their sponsor and their financier lol Fellow will refuse at first, but it’s just because he is a bit prideful; maybe after some fuzzy ear touching he’ll reconsider. Keep petting the fox! The little cat will help you.

Anonymous asked:

I too used to hate all things girly when I was younger. Now I’m grown and like to wear kawaii clothes and will kick the asses of those who say otherwise  (◕‿◕✿)

This is exactly what Vil would’ve wanted for you, Anon. And this is exactly what he wants for Epel. 💪😔

Anonymous asked:

Do you do any chesward here?

Nope! Sorry.

[hangmanbradshaw]

Rare personal post, under the cut (trigger warning re: death and grief and complicated family dynamics and a lot of sentimentality haha)

Today would’ve been my dad’s 60th bday. It’s only two years fresh so I never know what feelings to expect, but I was looking through old pics because of my cousin and smiling, and that’s good? He struggled with addition, and caused more scars than I’ll ever be able to talk about no matter how much therapy and EMDR I do, but as complicated as our family was, I love and miss him. There were so many good rays of moments in it, especially when I was younger. My teenage years were hell. The end wasn’t good. It’s all true. I never thought I’d be in my 20s being next of kin- making decisions about life support and planning funerals and burials and giving eulogies and writing obituaries and taking care of my grandparents, but I think I’ve found my peace with it. It hurts, but it’s bearable.

I keep thinking about the eulogy I wrote and gave, what I believe in my heart about loss after losing my best friend, my dad, other friends. They really stick with us? In so many ways we don’t always see. It’s not about moving on, truly it’s about just finding space for the rest of life too. Widening your heart to it. I watch Star Wars and I think of Andrew. I talk to his mom and we laugh. I get excited for football or hiking or going on an adventure and that’s my dad. All these pictures of him younger, healthier, playing football and bringing us to games, teaching my brother and me how to play, taking us white water rafting and horseback riding and hiking and camping over and over. Pictures of him doing it himself when he was younger. And it’s just like. I’m his daughter. He lives on in my life because I see those things in my life, and for that, I’m so grateful. I look at my life and that lyric is so true- There wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you.

My writing journey started about a year after he passed as art therapy. I realized I loved it. I met all of you, wrote IWTBY, wrote my novel now. I took myself to the Super Bowl and watched the team he taught me to love win. I took myself to a movie premiere, to Europe, to all these things he never got to do. To national parks he did visit. To parks he took us to. My brother and I are going to Austin this fall and staying out on a ranch like we did as kids. I live in a peaceful little apartment with a job that helps people and wonderful friends and all that pain and hurt led to it. Anyways, just a long, ridiculously sentimental rant to say I’m grateful for this little community. For my little life. It’s simple, and it’s mine, and I am forever thankful for it. For all of you and the love you show me, whether it be for my stories which truly have changed my life, or in general. I wrote that one shot last night, and immediately was blown away by the love y’all give it and me. If my little stories have made you smile, or feel something, it’s all I can hope for. I hope everyone who sees this finds their own peace, no matter how impossible it seems, truly. Keep your head up, keep finding the beauty and joy in the little things. In the sun shining and laughter with a friend and movies that make you inspired. With love, Steph 💙

[zukosdualdao]

honestly my pettiest hot take is that i think it’s Weird how many fics/popular headcanons depict zuko as being bad at making tea forever and i… Do Not like it. i mean, i will still read it if it’s otherwise a good fic, but trust that it has me considering clicking out.

we see zuko make bad tea one (1) time, when he makes it for iroh in bitter work after he wakes up from his unconscious state. and honestly, i think it’s the first time he’s ever tried making it on his own, since with servants at the palace, he wouldn’t have needed to. even on their ship, they had a cook who could’ve made tea, though realistically it was probably iroh more often than not. being bad at something the first time (and honestly, the first couple of times) you try it is par for the course. (and hey, the fact that he wanted to make tea, which he knows how greatly iroh values, for iroh to comfort him upon waking is still really sweet, even if it doesn’t go so great the first time.)

while we don’t see the day-to-day of their work in the tea shop in the lower ring in ba sing se, we know zuko is working there as a tea server every day, learning, and, hey, he keeps his job. (and yes, i know the argument could be made that the owner liked iroh so much that it wouldn’t have mattered, but i counter with this: there is absolutely a point at which your lack of skill outweighs any connections you have because it gets in the way, and if zuko is that terrible at it and shows no signs of growth or improvement, that would, in fact, be the point.)

later, we see zuko serve tea to the gaang and co, and while zuko says it won’t be as good as iroh’s (because he loves and misses him 😭), no one else has anything to say about it! the gaang is already lightly poking fun at him for his poor retelling of iroh’s joke, it wouldn’t have been hard to include. and if the show wanted to keep ‘zuko being bad at making tea’ as a gag, all they had to do was show a character or two making the same kind of face iroh makes in bitter work or trying to hand it off to someone else. but they didn’t! we even actually see teo take a sip with a mildly pleasant expression. and like, this isn’t even me saying i think he makes the best tea in the world, or even that it’s as good a iroh’s. i just don’t think he’s bad at it!

and we see him serving tea to his loved ones again in the earth kingdom in the finale and it’s the culmination of the part of his arc that’s about learning humility and to build healthier relationships and not self-isolate, to find peace and joy in little things. we see throughout the series that though iroh i’m sure loves tea for tea’s sake, he also uses it as a point of connection with people, and zuko is clearly trying to mimic that when he’s making an effort to bond with the gaang and later just to show love to his friends like! this is his way of trying to show love and affection in what comes to be maybe the clearest form of it he understands due to iroh’s influence. and the idea that he is bad at that makes me sad, but also, canon disagrees, so jot that down.

(also, if nothing else: iroh is there in that last scene. do we honestly think he’d let zuko make and serve the tea if it was bad?)

[jbuffyangel]

Hi this may be an odd question but reading your blog (and other Olicity blogs) it strikes me that while you provide insightful in depth analysis of the show at large you proudly admit that Oliver and Felicity’s relationship is paramount to your overall enjoyment and investment in the show. I personally possess a lot of internal shame stemming from my primary focus on the ship and will feel the need to justify my interest in the other aspects of the show (which I do love but I also love Olicity). I struggle with this with not just Arrow but any tv show where the romantic relationship isn’t intended to be the main premise of a show. I know I am allowing myself to be impacted by the views of comic book (and mostly male) fans and I can acknowledge that many of their views on Olicity fans and the show at large when it comes to the ship are at least somewhat if not primarily misogynistic. Despite knowing it comes from a sexist place which loves to shame women for enjoying romance and reduce our enjoyment to a surface level guilty pleasure unaware of the ways a romantic relationship can add major depth and development to a story as is the case with Arrow (although even if it didn’t add that it would still be valid to like the romance aspects), I still internalize those sexist sentiments and feel ashamed and like I cannot fully enjoy those things are I have to add caveats of my enjoyment. I was just wondering if you ever struggled with this or if you have always felt confident in proudly proclaiming your interest and investment in ships or if it was something that evolved over time. I’m sorry if this is a weird question I just witnessed your confidence in the validity of your passion and I wish I could have that conviction and not feel the shame that misogynistic society has given me in regards to shipping and enjoying romance. It’s definitely much harder in a fandom like Arrow where antis will openly voice their disdain for shippers and make extremely disparaging remarks and assumptions about Olicity shippers but I have felt this way in other fandoms too even when non shippers aren’t this aggressive or sexist.

Hello Nonnie!!!! I am so happy you reached out :) Apologies for the delay. I haven't checked my inbox for about a week. You write so beautifully!

To be honest, I've always marched to the beat of my own drum. I was a sick kid and had difficulty making friends because of it. I was teased in school a lot because of my health issues. Elementary school was not fun. I liked my mom and I liked being home. (These things really haven't changed). The Lord blessed me with a great imagination and a love for stories. I would just play by myself because the world I invented was so much cooler than reality.

It did give me a very strong independent streak, which my parents encouraged. The world had been very cruel to them as well. I was highly encouraged to stand up for myself, tell people where to stick it, and not care what other people think.

I was much healthier in high school and made a bunch of friends. But even my friends, who I know love me to this day, thought it was weird how obsessed I was with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. My family thought I joined a cult lol. I just like what I like. It never mattered to me if anyone else liked it.

I find it absolutely insane that anyone looks down on love stories. Love stories have been around for as long as there's been human beings on this planet. Every culture has love stories. Why? Love is central to being human. Love is what MAKES us human. We are here on this planet to be loved and to love in return. It's the whole damn point. And I'm not speaking just about romance. We build our lives around all kinds of different relationships. It is not exclusive to romantic love.

But let's address romantic stories, since that seems to be the genre asshats have a problem with. The question is why? Probably because it's popular with women and God forbid we'd be supportive of women and things they like. The horror. I think you absolutely nailed it here:

Despite knowing it comes from a sexist place which loves to shame women for enjoying romance and reduce our enjoyment to a surface level guilty pleasure...

But sometimes I think there are more personal reasons people have such vile reactions to it. Maybe they don't have romantic love in their own life. Maybe they've been hurt by partners. Maybe they've been rejected and are lonely. Maybe romance stories are a painful reminder of what they don't have. I'm not sure. What I do know is that hurt people hurt people. So, more often than not, what I feel is not shame, but pity.

We're clearly on the right track since every television show, movie, book and comic book has some romantic element to it. Romance sells. So, feel confident because you are in the majority.

I don't give the comic book crowd too much thought. My attitude when it came to Arrow was there's plenty of room for everyone to love what they love, hate what they hate, and go about their merry way. Don't like my blog? Cool. There's the door. Plenty of fish in the sea friends. Seek out other bloggers. Start your own blog! The internet is a vast place. Go with God.

But there is an element of ownership within that community that makes them think they can dictate who can watch a show/movie, what we can like or dislike, who can portray the characters on screen, what stories should be told and how they should be told. It's not just romance. Comic book fans are LOUD about basically everything.

To a certain extent, I get it. You love a character and their stories for a long time. It's very exciting when those stories which only existed on paper are going to be brought to life onscreen. Comic books are a refuge for many people, no different than books or movies. So, it can be very upsetting when you don't feel the tv show or movie has met your expectations. I've been bummed out on more than one occasion with books being made into a movie or television show. We've all been there.

But that doesn't mean they get to be the bouncers at the door. They don't get to gatekeep. They don't get to be racists assholes when an actor or actress doesn't look exactly like the character on the page. They are entitled to their opinion, and their opinion only, but it does not give them a free pass to be hateful towards others who may disagree.

I don't want to single out comic book fans out - this is a general internet problem. People just become assholes behind a keyboard. They say things they would never have the guts to say in person. And clearly this is not ALL comic book fans. I have met many wonderful comic book fans who are welcoming and kind. They love Olicity just as much as I do. Even if they didn't, they respect differing opinions. They are just good human beings overall.

In the beginning of my blog, I debated with antis a lot because I thought we were all just having fun. But when the death threats started because I like Olicity and believed Arrow was going to kill off Laurel Lance, then I reached a point where maybe I was dealing with people who were a few paper plates short of a picnic, if ya know what I'm mean. It's a TELEVISION SHOW. These characters are NOT REAL. But there's no reasoning with crazy.

Do you know who are huge comic book fans? Greg Berlanti and Marc Guggenheim. We're talking HARD CORE. And who created Olicity? Greg and Marc. Don't even get me started on the hate they receive.

I know there were entire Reddit threads devoted to trashing me and my blog. Did I read it? No. Did I engage with those people? No. When Stephen Amell's Facebook became a cesspool of terrible antis going after Olicity fans - I left. Did I read the messages in my inbox that were nasty? Nope. DELETED. Did I read the Lauriver tag on tumblr? Nope. We were North and South. The Red Sox and the Yankees. We were never going to agree, so you stay on your side and I'll stay on mine. And when some in the Olicity fandom turned on me because I was still enjoying the show in later seasons, I unfollowed and blocked if necessary. It really boils down to this - can you disagree with someone and remain a polite and kind person? Many folks do not have this skill.

The key to mental health on the internet is control your environment. Do not engage with people who are mean. It's really that simple. Because no matter how "strong" you are mentally, over time, nasty and demeaning comments have a way of sinking in and taking root inside your mind. It's completely understandable that your feelings get hurt because that's the intention! They are trying to hurt you. They are trying to shame you. So don't give them the opportunity.

Does that mean there will be some websites, blogs, social media sites that you don't go to anymore? Yes. Does that mean there will be some fans you don't engage with? Yes. But you know what? The internet is a vast place and there are plenty of people out there who share your opinions. Who love what you love and want nothing more than to chat with you about it until 4 am in the morning. Those are your people. That's your community.

And just for the record, romance loving shippers can be terrible too. I've seen awful behavior from our side of the fence so we're certainly not exempt from the behavior we receive from antis. And loving romance is no guarantee people will be nice either. My shipper flag was forged in the fiery pits of shipper hell - The Vampire Diaries fandom. Nasty doesn't even come close to what I experienced in the great Stelena vs. Delena wars. Arrow is child's play in comparison.

Here's the thing. Arrow is about one man's evolution to a superhero. He could not become that superhero without the love of one woman. LOVE is central to Oliver Queen's development and if you don't understand that part of the story then you really don't understand Arrow.

I think you'll find when it comes to Arrow that it's not romance antis have a problem with. It's who Oliver's romantic partner is. If it was Laurel Lance they would've been happier than clams. But Arrow deviated from "comic book canon" and developed an organic character with an actress Stephen Amell actually had chemistry with. And they CANNOT get over it. But thems the breaks.

I think my perspective on humanity has not really evolved past age six in kindergarten. If you make fun of me or are cruel then you're not a nice person and I will have nothing to do with you going forward. I've approached life like this and overall I have come out the other side a healthier person because of it. The beauty of the internet is there's always another playground to find friends.

I've always been a shipper since I was a little kid. I could never understand why Bobby & Pam couldn't work it out on Dallas. Loved every single husband Erica Kane had on All My Children. (My mother let me watch some wildly inappropriate tv as a kid). I was really torn between Prince Lotor and Keith for Princess Allura on Voltron. I really didn't understand why He-Man and She-Ra couldn't date. I was obsessed with Jerrica and Rio on Jem. And on and on it goes.

In the immortal words of our Queen, Taylor Swift, "The worst kind of person is someone who makes someone feel bad, dumb or stupid for being excited about something.” She's bang on. Always trust in TSwizzle. I'm a 42 year old woman with a full life who wears her shipper flag proudly. Love what you love my friend. Screw the haters.

And feel free to message me whenever you want to talk shipping. This is a shipper safe zone and always will be. You have absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of.

[theheirofthesharingan]

I have been reading your fic, The Everlasting Love, and I must say that it’s one of my favorite fics ever. Everything is just really well done :)).

I was just wondering how Itachi felt after he woke up and realized that he was alive. Did he want to die since the beginning or was he actually considering living until Sasuke had the sleep paralysis thing?

Why does Itachi hate medicines? Is it because he thinks he deserves to suffer or is it just a hc?

Also, in the anime/manga, do you think that Kishimoto should’ve added more realistic trauma responses (especially for Sasuke.) ? I think he did it better than many other animes, but I still think he should’ve added more. (And I do think Sasuke is mostly justified for his actions, I’m not sure why the narrator made him out to be a person who needed ‘fixing’)

I believe that Itachi was planned out from the start, now that I have read some of your posts. I was skeptical until the data book part (where he had only one s-rank mission), and now I feel really stupid for thinking otherwise. And I just realized that Itachi always looked sort of sad in the manga, not like a psychopathic cold-blooded killer.

Last question: how did you feel about Itachi before the twist (I’m sorry if this was asked already)?

Okay, all these questions are really random (sorry about that) but I was just really curious. Have a good day :).

I have been reading your fic, The Everlasting Love, and I must say that it’s one of my favorite fics ever. Everything is just really well done :)).

Thank you so much. :)

I was just wondering how Itachi felt after he woke up and realized that he was alive. Did he want to die since the beginning or was he actually considering living until Sasuke had the sleep paralysis thing?

This is a very good question, because on more than one occasions I've wanted to explore Itachi's thought process in the fic but the nature of the story prevents me from doing it, because it's going in the flashback and Sasuke only tells us as much as he knows and understands.

Itachi was devastated and horrified because he thought with him his sins and evil would be gone too, and Sasuke would be free from him. He wouldn't ever have to hurt his brother again and he'd planted Amaterasu in Sasuke to keep Madara away, and in case that failed, Naruto would keep Sasuke safe. But of course being alive horrified him, because how could he look at Sasuke after all he'd done? It's why his first reaction was to touch Sasuke's wrist as a way to apologize/see if it still hurt him there.

As to Itachi wanting to live.. It's a little bit complex, because Sasuke is his sun. Itachi lived his entire life in a world akin to the arctic cold where it was always cold and sun never shone. Sasuke's presence changed everything for him. On one hand, he wanted to go away, because he knew he didn't deserve the kindness Sasuke showed him. On the other hand, he loved being around his brother whose memories were his only comfort. How could he not when the person he loved the most was there beside him and there was a chance he could go back to being normal again? So, when he was around Sasuke, the frost thawed and Itachi reacted in a more human way. He would never be as vulnerable as he was if it was someone else. He doesn't know how to and he couldn't emotionally and physically show vulnerability to anyone else.

He also knew Sasuke would be under threat from Madara and Itachi wasn't deluded about anything. Itachi wanted to savour the moments he had with Sasuke, before he knew he would have to leave, so he could kill Madara (and die in the process), but Sasuke's nightmare only confirmed his belief, removing any doubt from his mind, that with him by his side, Sasuke would never be happy, although it's not true at all. But Itachi had understood how Sasuke reacted to him even if Itachi was completely harmless. He doesn't blame Sasuke, he blames himself. So, while he knew he'd have to die sooner or later (when he was healthier so he could face Obito), Sasuke's nightmares prompted him to leave.

Why does Itachi hate medicines? Is it because he thinks he deserves to suffer or is it just a hc?

It is a headcanon of mine that he took medicines to live and they didn't necessarily ease his pain. Some days he'd be in a much worse condition than any of his medicines could handle, and it's all associated with the bad, painful memories for him. Taking them also means living for him, which he didn't want.

It's a childish quirk that I wanted to add because he's always so solemn... But that doesn't mean he wouldn't have some things in him that were childish that someone else might find relatable.

Also, in the anime/manga, do you think that Kishimoto should’ve added more realistic trauma responses (especially for Sasuke.) ? I think he did it better than many other animes, but I still think he should’ve added more. (And I do think Sasuke is mostly justified for his actions, I’m not sure why the narrator made him out to be a person who needed ‘fixing’)

I do believe Kishimoto does a very good job at Sasuke's trauma responses, except for not letting him process the grief of losing Itachi and making him decide to destroy Konoha almost instantly. The narration makes him look bad/in the need to be fixed because he's Naruto's biggest challenge. And as much as he suffers, he continues to slip past Naruto's grip. Naruto, being the kind of person he is, has fixed many people. Gaara, Zabuza, and Pain etc., so Sasuke being his biggest obstacle, not only in his life, but in his dream to become the Hokage, he has to be shown as someone who needs to be fixed. Because that would establish Naruto as the kind of person he's said to be from the start.

The narrative sidelines Sasuke a lot for this. I would have loved that along with the whole fixed thing, if Sasuke and Naruto both changed the system together. Sasuke wouldn't have to be the bad guy for his anger towards the village, and Naruto could still be the saviour, a kid with a golden heart.

I believe that Itachi was planned out from the start, now that I have read some of your posts. I was skeptical until the data book part (where he had only one s-rank mission), and now I feel really stupid for thinking otherwise. And I just realized that Itachi always looked sort of sad in the manga, not like a psychopathic cold-blooded killer.

He was definitely planned. There's no doubt about it. The first databook, along with the earliest chapters of the manga prove there was always much more to him than we initially thought.

how did you feel about Itachi before the twist (I’m sorry if this was asked already)?

It wasn't asked before and it's okay.

I loved him from the moment he was introduced. Sasuke was my favorite character, but Itachi too, even as a villain, became my favourite as soon as he showed up. He always seemed cold and sad to me instead of evil. Like, something was immeasurably sad about him the way he reacted to the things around him (or didn't... which was most of the times). He was ethereal.

When he died, before the reveal, I had to take a break before watching the next episodes because his death saddened me so much. And then his reveal was brutal. How could someone go through that much pain and be subjected to so much injustice and just be okay with all of it? It's been over a year and I haven't stopped mourning him. :(

Thanks for the lovely ask.

[whinlatter]

obviously ginny always holds a candle for harry and her feelings for him never really go away, but what do you think is the point when her feelings change from a childhood crush to realised actual adult feelings?

(I love this question so here I am, back on my bullshit with another Hinny meta not a single soul asked for)

“— how she didn’t think famous, good, great Harry Potter would ever like her…” “She thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more — myself.”” 

There’s a huge gulf from the Ginny being talked about in that first quote and the Ginny speaking in the second. When and how Ginny gets from one to the other - both a new way of seeing herself, and holding a new, healthier set of feelings for Harry that he will return and deeply value - is tricky to parse out because of how much Ginny’s growth clearly happens off-stage (and is… criminally underwritten). But I do think it’s clear that that this shift does happen but I actually hadn't ever really thought about it properly before lol sooo I have been scratching my head over this one since you sent this ask.

The headline is: I basically think Ginny’s crush dies in the chamber. As early as Ginny’s second year, in PoA, she’s made a decision to cope with Harry’s inevitable presence in her life, and that’s to have her feelings be less about revering him, and more about making him feel supported and loved, both by her and by her family. She makes her feelings less about who she is relative to him, and much less about an immediate hope of reciprocation, and more about reinforcing in Harry a sense of his own worth and value as something that need not be a comment on her own. As they both grow up, and she gets to know him better, I think she starts to understand that they are fundamentally incredibly similar people. She learns that she has a unique understanding of him that other characters don’t, someone who she can help be better, and ultimately someone she knows how to love well and someone who knows how to be loved by him. And that in part is a testament to how much work she does - with the help of good guidance - to like herself and like what she brings to the table, both in seeing the parts of her that are similar to Harry and liking them, and in being confident that the parts of her that are different to Harry can be ways of understanding him and loving him in ways he really needs. Basically, when Ginny starts to see herself as somebody worthy of love and similar to Harry, not someone unworthy and defined by their inadequacy relative to Harry, that’s when the crush is gone and the real feelings emerge. I think that level of self growth starts to happen much earlier in canon for Ginny than it does for lots of her peer characters, especially Harry, Ron, and Hermione. 

Full reasoning is below the cut, and I am using the word reasoning loosely, because there is absolutely no rhyme or reason why I have written as many words on this question as I have. Ask me a Ginny question and I will act up, apparently

The crush

What’s really significant about Ginny’s crush on Harry (and is imo quite overlooked) is that it’s defined by an incredibly low sense of self-worth and a terrible loneliness on little Ginny’s part. Riddle tells Harry how Ginny feels about herself, and tbh it’s absolutely fucking heartbreaking. Obviously, this version of Ginny’s sense of self is refracted through Riddle’s most uncharitable telling, but I think we should take it as containing at least an element of truth (because what makes Riddle such a master manipulator is his capacity to understand people’s fears and anxieties, and to play to them):

‘Little Ginny’s been writing in it for months and months, telling me all her pitiful worries and woes — how her brothers tease her, how she had to come to school with secondhand robes and books, how —” Riddle’s eyes glinted “— how she didn’t think famous, good, great Harry Potter would ever like her…” ‘No one’s ever understood me like you, Tom… I’m so glad I’ve got this diary to confide in… It’s like having a friend I can carry around in my pocket…”

The Ginny we get a sense of in these lines is of someone who thinks very little of themselves, who is defined by friendlessness, and has so deep a sense of isolated inadequacy she very easily becomes dependent on someone who shows her the first bit of genuine interest and makes her feel worth listening to. Obviously, Ginny is very loved at this stage, by both her parents and her brothers, but she’s not really seen, and she clearly feels both alone and deeply insecure. Unlike Ron’s way of dealing with his own sense of inadequacy, which is expressed, at various stages, through jealousy and resentment, Ginny feels her inadequacy into a crush that isn’t just about how great Harry is, but how great Harry is compared to her, and how unworthy she is of his attention. She doesn’t seem to have close friends, she has no-one who sees her as an equal, no emotional support that meets her where she’s at, and she is deeply doubtful that she deserves more. (I don’t want to say Ginny/Snape parallels but uhhh well........ you know)

There are elements of the crush that will remain a constant in Ginny’s feelings towards Harry throughout the series. She'll remain extremely protective of him ("Leave him alone, he didn't want all that"), she'll continue to admire him a great deal, and obvs she … fancies him. But the crush and her later feelings for Harry are clearly pretty distinct. When we see glimpses of her crush in other scenes - at the Burrow, in Diagon Alley, in the Valentine’s incident - it’s an endearing but ultimately juvenile, all-consuming view of Harry, in that way that crushes often are when you’re very young, but also one that speaks to her inability to see Harry as a real person and, especially, a person who is not better than her. Her crush isn’t empowering, but humiliating. It's something over which she has no control, and experiences publicly and very bodily (the whole-body blush, the physical clumsiness of knocking everything over, hiding behind doors and watching him at the Burrow). When she writes and commissions the Valentine, she talks about his appearance and his legacy in such a telling way. ‘I wish he was mine, he’s really divine’ isn’t the line of a confident person shooting their shot - it’s hero worship from someone who very much does not think themselves worthy of worship, and therefore direct adoration upwards at the person they’ve put on a pedestal. Although she’s not exactly asking Harry out directly with the Valentine (it’s supposed to be anonymous, and it’s only outed as Ginny by Malfoy), she pitches herself to Harry as someone who is in awe of him and really fancies him, but gives no sign of a capacity for great mutual understanding, no demonstration of their (many) similarities, no sign of deep care and no kind of pitch for her self as someone great who deserves love, someone funny, clever, and attractive, the traits that will later define the Ginny Harry falls for.  

Leaving the crush behind

I think the aftermath of the Chamber is really significant for Ginny’s changing feelings for Harry. Leaving aside the lingering trauma of possession and her near-death experience, it’s hard to overstate how absolutely fucking awful it would be to interact with Harry after that.  It’s not just that Riddle reveals the depth of little Ginny’s clearly intense feelings for him to Harry - mortifying enough - it’s that Riddle told Harry that Ginny’s obsession with him meant she inadvertently fed Riddle information that would render Lily Potter’s sacrifice moot, cost Harry his life and bring Voldemort to some form of power again. Though of course what Ginny reveals to Riddle isn’t an active betrayal of the Pettigrew vein, there are few consequences of having a crush that would be worse than the person you have a crush on nearly being killed because of it. A very reasonable response would have been to avoid Harry forever, and try and put that whole episode, and her feelings for him, to bed. 

But she… doesn’t do that. Of course, Harry’s in her life whether she likes it or not. But she doesn’t have to become who she does become to him by OotP, and it’s clear then that she actively makes a series of choices to turn her feelings for him into something that is useful and kind for Harry: something that helps him and improves him, rather than starting at a point of thinking he’s perfect. Her appearances in GoF and even PoA lay the groundwork for the approach to him that she’s mastered by OotP. In PoA - so in the aftermath of this experience where Harry is the person who serves as the biggest reminder of her ordeal, and also Riddle’s chief victim - other than her awkward hello in Diagon Alley, the only reminder of Ginny’s feelings for Harry come when she leaves him the get well card she makes for him in the hospital wing. Harry’s narration implies the get well soon card is an expression of Ginny’s crush: he describes her as “blushing furiously”. But both making and delivering the card takes a huge amount of courage, and it’s a fundamentally selfless gesture - it’s literally a wish for him to get better, to make him feel like someone cares about his welfare, and a sign she is already starting to try and channel her feelings for him into something kind and supportive.(Obviously he… hates that the card sings so, you know, swing and a miss on execution, but she’s trying). Other than that, she only pops up to briefly share a private laugh with Harry over Percy (the first one-on-one injection of humour to their relationship), and to console Ron and reprimand the twins when Scabbers ‘dies’, establishing her as someone who acts with love and kindness, even if not directed at Harry himself.

In GoF, Ginny comes closer to honing this approach. She blushes when she sees Harry again at the Burrow, but she also then talks with confidence and humour in front of him with relatively little effort. She really reaches a crossroads over the Yule Ball, where she sets herself on the path away from validation from Harry and towards a stronger sense of who she is and what she believes in. She doesn’t ask Harry to the Yule Ball, even though several other characters do ask him out. She doesn’t chance rejection, but nor does she risk mortifying him. When Ron suggests she go with Harry, she turns him down and honours her commitment to Neville, something she finds difficult but is her choosing who the person she wants to be: someone who does the right thing, the selfless thing, who doesn’t ask Harry to validate her, but also who won’t accept the idea of being an afterthought last-option invite for Harry Potter. Because we’ll later be told, by Hermione, that Ginny met Michael Corner at the Yule Ball, I think we’re supposed to take Christmas 1994 as the period where Ginny starts to actively turned a corner in her feelings for Harry. With Hermione’s help (and I think it is this Christmas where Hermione advises Ginny on this), Ginny resolves to seek out romantic companionship elsewhere, where she will be able to be herself - something that might attract Harry in the long-run, but that will have its own value, too. The time where Ginny's sense of her own worth was calibrated around how much better than her she thought Harry was is increasingly in the rear-view mirror.

After the crush

By the time we get to the summer of OotP, something really big has shifted in Ginny’s mind about how she is going to be around Harry and what he is to her. The depth of Ginny’s growth, self-improvement and self-knowledge is on full display here, and she’s clearly reached a relative peace with herself. She has a confidence she didn’t have before; she’s got clear skills and abilities that mark her out as talented and assured (including Quidditch, but also her sense of humour and magical abilities); she’s actually shown herself capable not just of controlling her bodily and emotional responses to Harry, and also become an incredibly sophisticated liar (lol); and, crucially, she’s no longer lonely but surrounded by friends and in a romantic relationship that seems to be stable and healthy enough for a fourteen year old relationship, a real fuck-you to Tom Riddle. From the very start of OotP (“I thought I’d heard your voice”, “We know, Harry”), she can see what she’s become towards Harry: a shrewd reader of him, empathetic, supportive, forgiving, someone rooting for him, wanting good things for him and for him to grow and mature in happy, healthy ways, unafraid to call him out or help him grow when he’s displaying destructive coping mechanisms, lashing out or craving the approval of unworthy peers, and, crucially, someone who has pushed any thought of reciprocation to the back of her mind.

She also really understands who Sirius is to Harry in such a deep and profound way. Over the prefects issue, she’s the one who instigates of the conversation that consoles him over the Prefects issue - she’s the one who draws Sirius in as someone whose example (as a person who clearly was not a Prefect) will be a comfort to him (as well as just like, giving him valuable bonding moment with his godfather and knowledge of his father at school):

“What about you, Sirius?” Ginny asked, thumping Hermione on the back. Sirius, who was right beside Harry, let out his usual barklike laugh. “No one would have made me a prefect, I spent too much time in detention with James. Lupin was the good boy, he got the badge.”

On the train, when Ron and Hermione go to the Prefects carriage and Harry feels suddenly bereft, it’s Ginny alone who stays with him and agrees to sit with him on the train, finding the carriage with Neville and Luna to sit with, even though she’s with Michael at this point. Does Ginny still hold a torch for him? Sure, but she’s still holding a torch in sixth year, and she’s happy to leave him on his own on the train then. She decides in this moment Harry’s need is great, and wants him to not feel alone on his first train ride without Ron. She also shows here that she’s matured and grown up a lot more than he is in some significant ways. She doesn’t share his acute embarrassment about Neville and Luna, and she sorts him out after the Stinksap debacle, helping his embarrassment in front of Cho. Obviously there’s the ‘lucky you’ scene (side note: I love Ginny’s at his side on the tube as soon as they leave St Mungo’s after the conversation about possession). The ‘lucky you’ scene does not scream ‘please love me I’m so in love with you’. It’s a sign of deep care for a person, but it’s the behaviour of a person who no longer gives much of a fuck about being thought well of - they want to be helpful, it’s a very selfless kind of love, but she’s sort of over expecting things of him. 

The Easter egg scene is another case in point of someone who clearly has some level of deep feelings for someone else - as evidenced by their obvious close knowledge of that person developed through watching them closely and generously - but who has turned them into something directed and selflessly productive. We can see that Ginny’s approach has meant something to Harry even if he hasn’t really clocked it. That he gets upset over the Easter egg certainly speaks to how much distress he’s in, but it also speaks to a subconscious feeling of being in the presence of someone who allows him to let his guard down, even if he's baffled as to why his body has behaved like this. Fifteen year old Harry sits, despairing over his fifteen year old father’s failings, grappling with his doubts about his parents’ path to romantic love, consoled by the thought that “his mother had been decent” - when Ginny enters, reaching through fifteen year old Harry’s own failings (irascibility, self-isolation) and gets through to what he needs. Selflessly, she suggests he tries to talk to Cho. She demonstrates strong emotional intelligence towards him, she delivers him a path to getting what Harry really wants - a conversation with the one person he sees as family, about his dad. That Ginny is the person who makes possible Harry’s one conversation about James with Remus and Sirius is so significant (and why I’ll always be mad that JKR cut the plan to have Harry literally confess the James memory to Ginny in the library and then mention Ginny’s advice to Sirius and Remus. The cut “That’s what Ginny said” line that Harry was supposed to say to Sirius and Remus from the JKR OotP planning notes lives in my head not just rent free but claiming full squatters’ rights). 

Even more significantly in OotP, Harry quietly shows her that, while there’s a lot to admire about him, and lots of empathise with, there’s also a lot to be disappointed with him in. I think this only cements Ginny’s sense that her approach is the right one, and avoids setting herself up for further disappointment. The truth is that Harry lets her down several points in OotP, not just in the ‘lucky you’ scene. On the train, he is at least a bit embarrassed by her - not as much as he is of Neville and Luna, but certainly doesn’t think of her as a “very cool person”. Harry spends the whole book screaming at everyone for information, feeling frustrated about being patronised and deemed too young, but does the same thing to Ginny four times: once, at Grimmauld Place, where he lets Molly remove her from the room and makes no case for her entitlement to knowledge, and then three separate times after he's had the vision of Sirius being tortured:

“Hi,” said Ginny uncertainly. “We recognised Harry’s voice — what are you yelling about?”  “Never you mind,” said Harry roughly. Ginny raised her eyebrows. “There’s no need to take that tone with me,” she said coolly. “I was only wondering whether I could help.”  “Well, you can’t,” said Harry shortly. “You’re being rather rude, you know,” said Luna serenely.

And then again a few pages later in the Forest: 

“I’ve got a broom!” said Ginny. “Yeah, but you’re not coming,” said Ron angrily. “Excuse me, but I care what happens to Sirius as much as you do!” said Ginny, her jaw set so that her resemblance to Fred and George was suddenly striking. “You’re too —” Harry began. “I’m three years older than you were when you fought You-KnowWho over the Sorcerer’s Stone,” she said fiercely, “and it’s because of me Malfoy’s stuck back in Umbridge’s office with giant flying bogeys attacking him —” “Yeah, but —”

One more time for emphasis, Harry, there's not enough salt in that wound:

“Look, you three” — he pointed at Neville, Ginny, and Luna — “you’re not involved in this, you’re not — ”

I think this is in part why Ginny moves onto Dean so quickly at the end of the OotP year and doesn’t wait around to see if post-Cho Harry is interested in something. Obviously, she would see and respect the enormity of Harry’s grief. But she has just spent a year receiving confirmation that Harry doesn't see her as an equal and doesn't seem to intend to meet her emotional needs in any of the ways she has learned to meet his. She dumps Michael because she knows what she’s worth, and though she’s briefly single she fills Michael’s space with someone else who clearly admires and values her, something Harry has shown no sign he is capable of doing (yet). She leaves OotP having found a way of being around Harry that works for her, that offers him meaningful friendship and support, and that both sees him and sees through him. She’s not about to ask for more, out of respect for him but also out of self-preservation. (I think she is also beginning to grasp that if anything ever did happen with Harry, it would be temporary, in ways that colour her approach to it, too.) 

All this is to say, by the time we get to HBP, Ginny has five years post-crush under her belt of overcoming the unhealthy and toxic aspects of her feelings for Harry, honing who she is to Harry and living with her feelings for him, and also just... becoming someone she herself likes and who she believes deserves love and respect. Her feelings aren’t gone, but she’s built a life that doesn't centre them, and she’s happy with who she is to Harry, and how she can make him feel loved without asking for romantic love in return. The trouble for her is that Harry’s about to have an absolute shocker and realise their significance to one another in ways that threaten the equilibrium she’s found. But that's the trouble when you have a massive sense-of-self glow-up Gin! Sometimes people clock them and go: wow wait. So sorry baby you did this to yourself! 

[spearxwind]

Hiya, I’d like to put some thoughts out there on my blog (my house) bc I need to yarf some intense feelings or I fear I will explode on a nuclear scale. This is about hollowridge (not in a negative light!! just explaining + reminiscing of old stuff and talking about new stuff. Pouring my heart out more than a little bit.)

I will put them under a readmore of course, this is PRETTY long winded, so you can read or ignore at your leisure -w- 

I was in my adri tag a while ago looking for some images and ended up going through the whole thing and seeing the evolution of him as a character and HR as a story. Additionally, I recently organized my external memory where all my art files are stored and also saw my old stuff, old concepts, old documents with info and ideas, etc etc and like other times where I have looked through my old stuff I have been WRACKED with so many emotions about it. It’s always a dangerous game to go back into my folders/tags to look because I always end up feeling this whooole spiel all at once and very intensely.

Seeing my content shifts is jarring. Very much so. It always is. I don’t think I can pinpoint causes, some of my better creative highs were at really low points in my life, and then other times my creativity and worlds were subsequently really hardly hit during similar lows. I like to think that I am on the up now though, both mentally and creatively. I’m getting back into a lot of things I love, and I am surrounded by people who I love dearly and who love me back, and things in general are really good! I feel less… I wouldn't say wrathful, but way less frustrated when looking back at my old stuff and more inspired to go back to these concepts with a healthier more open mind + knowing that I have improved nonetheless. 

Specifically for hollowridge. Hollowridge feels like a home to me, simple as that. It's something immensely dear to me and I think this is clear by how much effort I have put into it over time, not all of it well placed or with good results, but effort to make it the best that it could be (at best) and effort to keep it afloat (at worst). HR is a strange thing to look back on because it has gone through so many iterations that its hard to pinpoint just one when looking back, but there's a specific time slot (2017-2018 roughly… I’m not gonna check) that I believe is where it was at its best, and that is specifically the vibe that I am trying really hard to go back to with the newest iteration.

I’ve always struggled with it a lot, I've often voiced this publicly, or to friends who would hear my woes out (god bless them for hearing me go on and on about this like a bass boosted and emotional broken record), often because there was so many possibilities that I could run with and I had a lot of really, really conflicting ideas that I wanted to explore. I also had a lot of trouble with lore in general because for many years I was haunted by the absurd need to “make things make sense”, whatever that means. Having things grounded so that people wouldn't be able to poke holes into the watertight plot.. which I never achieved of course. It was less watertight and more of a welded together pringle shaped monstrosity (This was not only true for hollowridge, but was true for everything I have ever made. like in general. It’s been a consistent creative problem for me). 

Eventually what happened iteration after iteration was that I throttled myself too much with rules, random limitations, all in favor of making something cohesive and deleting all the fun bits off the project in the process.

For this reason I also can’t just up and go “yeah i'm gonna turboscrap everything and go back to what worked in 2017” because it also DIDN’T work then. But that vibe specifically is what I am aiming for. The “classic” vibe, if you will (if that means anything to you as it does to me.)

What didn't work for me back in the day was giving everything a reason for existing, which is something I no longer wish to do (it’s better that way) and also something that failed back then both in HR, and in extinction (earlier drafts) and just about any version of a story I ever tried to make was THE SCOPE. It always spiraled out of my hands. God entities always escape me. Magic systems always escape me. How cities and such would be regulated in these scenarios escape me. Its just things I’m not comfortable writing about in general

So that’s why I have made changes to it currently (the whole lens of technology over it) because it makes it easier to think about, and easier to handle. Post apocalypses are fun to handle, and also easy to handle (for me, in this context). Technology going awry feels like its easier to think about than just vague “magic”, even if in the end the aesthetic looks literally exactly the same. Does that make sense? I hope it makes sense.

To give an example: Magic spells and circles → programs and code lines. That can be shot into machinery or meat (recodes your fucking genome in real time and gives you super brain hemorrhage idk). I guess it just gives my brain something to latch onto that isnt just vague rules of a magic system that could potentially be anything and everything? It essentially works the exact same way… its just the lens of looking at it is changed.

Mimics are their own thing now (nanotechnology, instead of vague.. shadow things). Adri is his own thing while still connected to mimics (an angel array made of the same stuff, instead of.. whatever else). Connected to the world. AND all the conflicting but dearly beloved concepts I had for him actually fit (snake, scarf, smoke, usurper of a body that is not his. Hey remember when he was made out of ashes/smoke and eventually out of goop. Well all of that is true at once now! It’s ALL canon! Bitch! The concepts have been reconciled!!)

There are also more “normal” creatures besides these, animals that have either evolved aboveground due to fit into new world niches (so I can design Whatever without being too limited) and there’s also machine/biomachine chimeras, and purposed grown organisms, and just Weird Shit made by machines in the belly of the earth (meat is just complex machinery. you know this. your heart is a piston and your blood gasoline. but I digress.) So I have the space to Get Weird if I so choose, on my own terms this time. And it will have a proper place in the world.

There used to be a lot of concepts that were cool that I missed a lot when I had to shift away from them. Like mimics infecting people and pretending to be them, and then being able to break the hosts bodies apart to make bodies for the mimic itself. That did not fly in pretty much 80% of the later versions of HR but I was able to bring it back for this one. I’ve tied mimics to the epidemic and to Adri in a way that MAKES SENSE but lets me go wild anyways

I guess… the short way of explaining is that. Instead of it being very vague supernatural stuff of dubious origin, now it's a ‘manmade horrors beyond your comprehension’ type deal (still of dubious origin). Which obviously neither the characters nor I would be able to explain to you the details of its origins but the distinction MATTERS to me (to my brain).

Something else about HR is that it’s made up of me having rounded up a bunch of ocs who’s stories were empty or were left to the void so that they could have a fitting home where they could shine. At the end of the day I just wanna do my characters justice. I don’t want to just relegate them to nice set pieces (even though they ARE cool set pieces), but each of them has years of backstory stuff that I would like to keep to not lose the essence of said character and its where I put the bulk of my writing effort into.

I want their connections to the story to be solid, but I also want their base vibes and the vibes I am familiar with for those characters to BE THERE too. So if I’m slow with revealing info, or writing in general, its literally because all the processing power in my skull is being used to think of how to best approach that and not just throw low quality spaghetti at a wall. (Sometimes the spaghetti method works very well, but often. It does not. And only makes things more complex in the long run, so I have learned to be more careful with it)

Dianne and Nirven are over 12 years old now as characters. That 's insane. And she still has the same core concept of how her magic works as I created it ages ago.

Same for Bei. He still has his same vibe back when I made him 10 years ago.

And Adam when I made him 9 years ago. Though I’m working out stuff for him still in this new edition, but I’ll get there. I promise. 

Sooo……….. What I’m really trying to say is that I’m learning to have fun again. And at the same time (re)realizing I used to have some super swag ideas that I have never fully let go of that I am VERY adamant on keeping. And my aim is to go back to that unhinged unbridled joy of creating for a world that is just So Fucked Up but it Works somehow. And yeah, if you’ve ever been frustrated at my changes don’t worry: me fuckin’ too buddy. A thousandfold. And if you’ve ever been curious as to the why of everything, then I hope this rant serves as some sort of explanation?

So yeah, if you’re an old fan and missed old stuff, I hope I am able to do it justice once more and from now on. I promise I am trying my best, I always have been. It just works better sometimes. And if you are someone new and dont know what the fuck I’m talking about, 1. thank you for reading this far and 2. I hope you enjoy the ride regardless

And who knows…. knowing me in a few years I might see this all changed again. Or maybe this will be the one, finally, that sticks. We’ll see. At the moment like I said, I am focusing on loving my characters, their world, their and my original intentions, and just having as much fun as I can with it. If I create confusion in the process then that’s something I will have to accept. I’m not a big media corporation with a team or writers, or even just one (1) accomplished author with a huge brain. I’m not tolkien. I’m just some guy having fun with made up guys in my brain

Thank you for reading this far, if you did, if there’s anything you’d like to comment or discuss (if anything, I don’t expect it) please feel free to reply or DM me, I try to respond in a timely manner when possible <3 

Thanks for sticking around too. It means the world to me that you have. Have a really good week, cheers

[alexius-fr]

Martyrs Waste Chapter 1: Dust and Ash

Sanguine, Silas and Khadiyah travel to the Waste to find Nerissa

_______________________________

The air was thick here, much more so than they had been used to before. Dense fog hid the land below them in a mystery of red and orange hues with the occasional sickly green bioluminescence shining through dimly. But the smell was familiar to Sanguine, who had always belonged here, no matter how far he had tried to run from that truth.

“How much farther?”

“We’ll get there when we get there!”

Silas wailed a pitiful cry of woe is me. “But my wings hurt!”

“Oh shush, you’ll be right at home there.” Khadiyah laughed as she ridiculed her mate. Sanguine, who flew ahead of them, couldn’t help but laugh.

“True, it is called the Martyrs Waste after all.” he chimed in, always down for a little jab at his dear brother. Silas groaned and rolled his eyes. “You two have no empathy! I’m getting old, you know!”

“Sanguine is older than you and he has not complained.” Khadiyah reminded Silas.

“Because we haven’t gone very far!” Sanguine agreed, picking up the pace to show his point. He might have been older, but he hadn’t lost his form yet. In fact, he probably looked healthier than he ever had. Years of Rowan’s care and love had left him in peak physical and mental shape. His hide was shiny, blood red and healthy despite it’s many scars. His wings beat as strongly as ever, his spikes were sharp and his eyesight- well, that was perhaps a little questionable, but it was good enough.

Sanguine saddened a bit at the thought of Rowan. His old mate had returned to the Wasteland’s embrace recently, ‘to slumber with the Plague Mother until they would be reunited and reborn together’, or so Rowan had phrased it. But Sanguine still had a part to play, lessons to teach and learn, and so here he was, honouring Rowan’s last request.

Go see Nerissa.

Apologize to her for pushing her away. She strove for his acceptance and he had cast her out. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought of doing this himself, but always there was something that would stop him from going, an excuse, a child that needed him more, an injury that prevented him from going, he had to hunt for food for them all, etcetera etcetera. And recently, taking care of Rowan had taken all his focus. Now though, there was nothing to justify not going any more. Rowan was gone, all his children had flown the nest. It was time he made amends with Nerissa, to avoid becoming his mother. To avoid her making the same mistakes he did.

Silas and Khadiyah had offered to accompany him, curious to see their niece once again. They had heard of her clan in the Martyrs Waste, an area that had been the site of many a battle in the past, not in the least between the Mother and her mortal enemy, the Gladekeeper. It was a place of great infamy, where Plague’s toughest dragons battled each other for the right to survive. Those who died in battle there were named martyr to the Plague Mother, though Sanguine was sceptical of this practice himself.

“There, the rock that looks like a mushroom!” Silas called with relief. “Finally!”

Sanguine said nothing, feeling nervous as they descended through the thick fog, Sand particles swept up into his face and battered his hide before they reached the floor, dust and sand kicking up as the three of them landed not far from their landmark. Though the air was thick, it felt welcoming as Sanguine breathed in deep, the scent of home.

Silas was also taking deep breaths, though it was more like he was gasping for air.

“Mother save me, I can’t breathe with this thick fog and sand in my nostrils!” he complained.

“Don’t be dramatic.” Khadiyah frowned and swept her tail up to whirl an extra load of sand Silas’ way. Silas coughed when he got some in his mouth, covering his face with his wing while Khadiyah laughed wickedly.

Sanguine took no notice of their antics behind him, taking in the environment. A huge rock formation towered before them, shaped somewhat like a mushroom. Specks of green luminescence shimmer through the dust, some kind of fungus? The sun behind the rock cast a large shadow through the sand and the fog, but it’s heat was still present, warming Sanguine’s deep red hide. He strode forwards carefully, looking around with purpose for a sign of any dragons other than them. So far, nothing. He turned his head to Silas and Khadiyah.

“Quiet you two. We have to consider the possibility we are not welcome here.” he reminded them.

“Right, because you were rude to her.” Silas said, deadpan. Khadiyah grinned in unison with Silas, like the little shit she was. “He’s got a point.”

Sanguine sighed, quietly shaking his head before moving ahead.

A natural arch big enough to accommodate a large Guardian stood before them, but beyond that he could see nothing but a turmoil of swirling sand. Still, he knew he was in the right place. He could smell his daughter’s distinct scent, sense her presence.

“Stay here.”

Sanguine said the words to Silas and Khadiyah sternly, then proceeded into the thick wall of red sand before him. It battered him, blinded him, all of those things he had expected, but he had not expected the fluorescent green light to pierce through the sand as if a great eye had locked it’s gaze upon him.

The green light was just enough to project a silhouette through the dust on top of the rock. It was far away, but Sanguine recognized the silhouette as an Aberration dragon. When she spoke, it sounded like two voices at once spoke in unison, echoing between the rocky walls.

“I knew you would come.”

[richarlotte]

Do you have a particular diet or do you eat whatever? I want to eat healthier but carbs and sugar are so addicting

I could go on a whole long talk about how developing a healthy relationship with food has been so important to me, but the truth is that I really struggle at times. I grew up as a bigger girl and really struggled with the way I looked. I hated myself through elementary and middle school, and my body didn’t get better until my senior year of high school was over.

I was always tall and big, so I felt like I was meant to be last. I never had a date to any of the dances, I cheered from the sidelines, and let the way I looked define my life. I hate to talk about it, but one of the reasons I decided not to go to university immediately is because of my weight. I was miserable until I turned 19, got into EDTWT, started a really serious diet, worked out every single moment I could, and my life did a total 180°.

My life totally changed after I lost weight. People saw me for the first time, people gave me attention and opportunities, men became chivalrous and treated me like a woman, the praise for anything I did was amazing, and I looked so much better than I ever had before. I have this fear of gaining it all back, so I go through phases of eating very little or being very careful. Even though I’m a good weight and don’t have a disorder, my mind still goes back to how I was before.

I went from a size 20 to a size 2, became focused on my health, and got really into Pilates and yoga, and people started taking me seriously. I went from being nobody’s choice to being the first choice, getting comments and likes on my socials, constantly being asked out, sugaring, and doing so many things I could have never dreamed of before losing weight, and that feeling was better than feeling full. I try my best to nourish myself these days and keep to a caloric intake level that’s acceptable, but honestly, it can be very difficult for me at times.

[stormblessed95]

To also piggyback off the older army anon I think it’s possible jikook “took a break” during this chapter 2 to test the waters of being separated for such an extended period of time. I don’t think they love each other any less, and maybe I’m just colder and more analytical, but I would want to make sure I could still function after being so codependent on someone else for so long. Most shippers seem to think that if you knew you had to be apart, you’d spend every moment you could together, when really that’s just one of the options. When I reference shippers I’m not talking about you, I mean generally.

I’m saying this as someone who took a year long break with my partner. We’ve been together for more than 10 years now. We were together for a few years, took a break, and now we’ve been together again for 7 years. Sometimes life gets in the way. We didn’t stop loving each other, and we didn’t talk often, but when we did, we were sad but still flirty and nice to each other because we missed each other and we chose to get back together after that time apart.

A lot of shippers put Jikook’s relationship on a pedestal because their story can be presented as an epic romance, but they are still just people. It can be hard for those shippers to understand that two people that love each other and don’t “have to” be apart yet could choose to be apart, and I don’t think that these people have ever been in a LTR much less a LTR where real life obligations got in the way. (Side note: after years of being with someone, you don’t always have to be in each other’s pockets. Would it be nice to always be with your partner? Of course, but life doesn’t always allow that.)

The break my partner and I took strengthened our relationship. After years together you can become complacent. When we got back together we were choosing it, and we continued to choose each other, we both put in more effort and we are both more comfortable in the times we have to spend apart. We are healthier now than when we were codependently stuck to each other. I’m not saying this is 100% Jikook’s situation, maybe they never took a break, but I’ve seen a lot of shippers projecting their ideas of what a perfect (in their mind Jikook’s) relationship should look like and I hoped sharing my experience could add another perspective of how difficult real life relationships can be, how much nuance there can be, and how sometimes the healthier choice isn’t the most romantic choice. I know one of their many names is the black and white couple, but most aspects of life are not that simple, and I wish more shippers would understand that.

I like how kindly you shared your opinion. I'm not sure I completely agree with you, but it's valid. And who knows. We don't know anything for sure so it's possible. We aren't seeing much from them, so who knows. From what we do see, I don't personally think they've taken a full break or separation. But that's just me. And yeah, long distance relationships can be hard. We shall see what they share snd how things go in the future, during their service and when they get out again too I'm sure. For now, in my opinion, I do think they are probably still together. Based off my own assumptions lol

And the one thing I do agree with is that protecting your idea of a perfect relationship onto jikook is never a good idea. Unless they release a tell all book one day, we will likely never know everything and have to be content just enjoying the little bit of their love that we do get to see

[milomi]

Hello! Your work about the reader gets angry at crowly and proceed to swear in native language, it’s funny and got me dying after reading it! I’m just wondering if you could do the part where the other staff caught to witness the event of their argument? Feel free to ignore this request 🫶

ANON MY DEAR , I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG

In any case: thank you for your kind words, I didn't think my post would be that funny but I'm glad it made you laugh <3 I mean it was just a bunch of nonsense I wrote at 2am

Real story: i wrote most of the headcanons, and thought i was ready to post it soon, but no, i fell asleep while writing Leona and when I woke up, i realized i hadn't written like 3 characters yet

Anyway! Here is the original post, for anyone who hasn't seen it: ★

og post 🐸

* Crowley was already featured in the first part

Vargas

flabbergasted

oh, so doing a few runs around the playing field (?) is too much, but excessively swearing in such an outraged state is no problem for you

well uh, you know what they say

" A healthy body is a healthy mind "

That means in order to have a healthy and clean, swear-free, mind, you'll need to get your weak, feeble little body into a much healthier state.

20 laps around the courtyard! Go! Go! Go!

Trein

never in his [many years] of teaching had he ever encountered such a reckless individual such as yourself

hes not mad,, just disappointed..

You know the usual teacher schtick

" I never would've expected something like that from you. Truly, I am left speechless by your behavior. "

normally this would be a reason to call your legal guardian. ,, but whos gonna get called. Crowley aka the man you had just cussed out ?? The ghosts??? Grim?!

Lucius

Uh... Meow?

Crewel

probably the only one who is more concerned about you rather than your outrage

Because- as your homeroom teacher - he sees you every other day and knows it would take a lot to make you have such a reaction

or at least, have such a reaction, publicly

Would most definitely tell you to stay, after tomorrow's lesson, but he will not scold you.

Instead, it's a talk discussing your current situation, well being.

and maybe shittalking crowley, just a little,,

Sam

Did you know that this entire ordeal has been actually video documented in several ways?!? 😁

Now, of course, Sam wouldn't just use that as any sort of thing against you.

instead

He will opt for the much safer option of storing said recordings, far from anybody's reach.

or so it would seem

In actuality, they are available for purchase, through a secret code and agreement to not publish it anywhere.

But this is all for your good!

Students that have seen the video will now never attempt to outrage you

I mean, have you seen the video?

And and since you are somewhat of a sensation around here, people are interested in you, you look quite badass in that video

when the time comes and you'll have to fight against Crowley, this team of students (and your friends ig) will be here to get assembled

say Avengers asesemble

[ssodiepop]

[Huge TW: mentions of neglect/abuse & some heavier sexual topics]

I don’t really have anywhere else to put this, so I’m kind of tossing this to the void where I feel not many people will see it. But good god I feel wonderful

After a year and a half I finally have the closure I need to move on with my life and not feel as weighed down by it anymore.

Although I had my faults too and had some behaviors I will fully own up to no hesitation, my ex abused me emotionally (even if unintentionally) and sexually damaged me. I have gone no contact with her since July of last year (a few months after our breakup). Originally I (and her family) thought this was harsh, but after opening up about my side of the story to my friend (who’s also her family) a year and a half after the split I feel finally understood. I feel seen and heard and understood. I was cheated on emotionally (once again, even if it was unintentional, by definition this is what happened), treated like shit, constantly got blown off, and had sexual encounters that would bring back old paranoia from a former friend who coerced me into something that left me paranoid for years. I was made to feel ugly for being afab, she constantly talked of wanting a “man” and saying she’d let me watch if it made me more comfortable to let her have sex with men in the future. I was “in the way” of her “college dating experience”. I was in no way a saint, I had deep, troubling flaws that surfaced during the relationship. But now that I’m in a healthier relationship, I can say those more toxic behaviors have either become way less rampant or have disappeared entirely. This is in no way blaming my ex, what I did was entirely my fault. But I can certainly say the healthier dynamic and communication has helped me work on myself. My sense of self beauty has been damaged, and it’s slowly being restored by my wonderful partner. I’m learning to forgive myself and not fault myself for EVERYTHING that happened. I don’t mourn my ex truly, more was haunted by everything I felt to sheepish to speak up about as to not cause conflict with my friend and their family.

But it’s over. It finally feels over. I can finally rest and let it go because people believe me, and listened. That’s really all I needed to finally shake off what was left of my angst and bitterness and resentment.

And thank you to my boyfriend for listening to me talk about this stuff. And thank you to him for encouraging me to finally open up about the situation with people who care about me. Only my mother, a lifelong friend, and my boyfriend previously knew about this in detail (and even then only my boyfriend knew EVERYTHING). I can finally feel less scared of revealing something that would end my friendships. Because in reality my friendships are so much stronger than I could’ve ever wished for and I’m thankful to be supported in all corners about this. Thank you to my friends and family forever this is getting so sappy but I really can’t overstate it

It finally feels over. I’m free

[hadoriel]

Hi hello my friends and super nerds

I would like to write or do something with a Spy x Family + His Dark Materials crossover... aka ‘what if the Forgers had daemons’ scenario. I’m not great at form finding, especially on fictional characters, so I really hope some daemians can help me out .w.

I’m gonna preface this with two things: - I personally believe daemons would react to trauma and stress in bizarre ways. Most of the cast of SxF is severely traumatized so uh there’s some fun I want to do, like Twilight having never settled, Anya’s never taking a ‘real’ animal form etc - I’d ideally like a mix of symbolic and realistic form stuff. I haven’t been in the HDM/daemonism community too much for a good decade now, but I’ve seen some people say they’re different things so uh... I’d like to just blend it

Twilight (Loid + [REDACTED]): Due to the massive trauma early in life, his daemon has never settled. It basically gives him the master of disguise superpower easily, as it’s extremely rare (and bad!) when that happens. Even so, not many people know of it, just some WISE higher-ups like Sylvia, maybe Franky As Twilight, he’s very independent, detached, meticulous, solitary, detail-oriented, with a brain moving a mile a minute. His ‘default’ form would reflect this. As Loid, however, he’d need something more gentle and approachable, that cares deeply for family, but still very intelligent The fun part would be that he doesn’t realize he’s settling slowly by acting as Loid. I’m not sure if he’d really fit exactly what Loid’s persona daemon is, but we know ‘on the inside’ he’s very loyal, manipulative, crazy smart, anxious

Yor: We don’t know exactly what happened to Yor’s parents, but I think it was likely around settling years (onset of puberty). Having to take over an adult role for Yuri, I’d think she settled early and suddenly. She’s also fiercely loyal (even more than Twilight), cares deeply for family, worried about not being normal enough or not being good enough constantly, act first think later, scary when threatened When we first meet her, Yor’s daemon would be sickly, skinny, mottled. But through the story, they’d get healthier

Anya: Since Anya’s a child, she doesn’t have a defined form yet. I do want to note that, since she’s a human experiment, something is still very wrong with her daemon, though. I’m mostly going with that her forms are always mythical animals and chimeras, never a ‘real’ animal, but open to feedback if anyone thinks something different?

Yuri: His is ‘normal’... relatively. He probably also settled early but not weirdly or suddenly. He’s obsessive, overly protective, uses intelligence as power, aggressive, absolutely dedicated, only vulnerable to their loved ones

Franky: Probably the most normal daemon situation in the whole cast tbh. He’s a jokester but very smart and weirdly wise. He’s like the most typical ENTP ever, if you know your MBTI. Social and savvy, but not very charming

Sylvia (Handler): Her daemon would be quiet and stoic with an aggressive side. She’s a mentor and a leader, who deals with the unfortunate ugly situations, so she’s very dedicated and hard working. There’s a softer side to her, but rarely seen. Not as tunnel-vision as Yuri at all, but probably a form in the same vein

Nightfall (Fiona): Super quiet, super dedicated, super antisocial and unemotional. Except that she’s obsessed with Twilight, of course, just that she never shows it ever. I have an idea that her daemon likes to make ‘weirdly aggressive’ moves at Twilight’s, like laying on them, which Twilight is always slightly alarmed by but it’s just Fiona’s very miscommunicated adoration lmao

Donovan: He’s severed. Nobody knows this. They just think his daemon hides in his suit all the time

Damian: Wants to settle asap and tries to take ‘noble’ forms like lions and wolves and eagles, due to pressure

Becky: Is weird and tries to put accessories on her daemon. The forms are always extra pretty animals

Okay so now that I kinda wrote down the jist of the cast... Anyone wanna help me with form finding for them? .w.;;;;;;;;;;