#would rather have surgery again
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cam-the-orange-cat · 2 months ago
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I have had a lot of pains, but the only pain I've had that I've thought to myself: do I need to go to the ER? was actually from gas build up.
My breathing machine settings were too high. I woke up in my sleep with sudden pain, all over my torso. I tore off my mask and just... suffered. I had accidentally wind-tunneled in my sleep and the air pressure pumped me up like a human balloon. I couldn't sit up all the way, let alone stand up. I had to be careful how I breathed and nearly hyperventilated because breathing deeply hurt. My entire torso was stiff from the air buildup. It was absolutely horrifying.
I called my mom and (like the amazing mother she is) she stayed up with me until I was feeling better. It took more than hour to clear up the worst of the pain. I was seriously worried I had broken something. I was uncomfortable for the rest of the night.
Is it the worst pain I've ever felt? No. It is one of the scariest pains I've felt, though.
Migraine? I know what's going on there, and I know what to do. Menstrual pains? I'm used to that, no problem. Surgery pains? Definitely up there in my top three worst pains, but I didn't think to myself: am I dying? I just thought: this sucks.
But accidentally blowing yourself up like an over-filled car tire? Wtf do I do??? Die???
We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
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miss-americanbi · 4 months ago
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lowkey ford had a point getting a metal plate installed on his skull to keep an ex out of his mind
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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Honestly sooooooo fucked up that I thought my overwhelming daily fatigue and debilitating body pain was a product of the awful working conditions I was under for years and years... and yet, despite being out of work for half a year now, I'm still so fatigued and in pain all the time??? Like come on man that's not fair
Oh well maybe I have liver disease and they'll treat it and then I am magically so much more energized like I was as a kid. We can only hope !!!!
#speculation nation#negative/#um. not hoping i have liver disease but the blood tests blatantly state that it's not working entirely right.#not like major enough to be an immediate health emergency. or else my doctor probably wouldve called me#rather than referring me to radiology.#im just hoping that it's something easy to treat. it really would be so nice for my problems to be fixed like that.#and im mentioning it in conjunction with the fatigue just bc it can cause fatigue. ya kno.#probably is a good thing i caught it this early whatever it is.#like maybe it's Not fibromyalgia. but the fact that i pursued diagnosis for fibromyalgia spurred the blood tests#which alerted my doctor to the abnormal liver enyzmes.#if i hadnt pursued diagnosis who knows how much longer this wouldve gone on like this...#so! im still not happy to be doing a Fucking ultrasound for my liver. but. if it means catching whatever this is early#then like. it'll be worth it. doubly so if it does end up fixing my fatigue problems.#or even just some of them. i dont even need to be at 100% of what others can do#i just wanna be able to do half an hour of chores without feeling like im going to collapse 😭😭😭😭#it's really very troublesome. my life would be so much easier if i had the energy to do more than one thing per day.#(and if i do more than one thing i end up nearly bedridden the rest of the day. like today lol.)#im just trying to look on the bright sides so i dont start freaking out again about my liver not working right.#ultimately. even if i dont feel amazing. i dont feel all that different from how ive lived the past decade of my life.#or at least the most recent years. i kind of feel like my chronic pain has gotten worse. maybe fatigue too.#though i do know ive been dealing with both for however long. idk. might be recency bias. who knows.#ANYWAYS. im not actively dying. so i'll live to my appointments. and then i will hope it's smooth sailing from there.#(oh god i hope i wont need surgery. i dont want surgery. please im trying to graduate college i do not want surgery)#(god why is my luck always so bad)
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pocket-mobster · 11 months ago
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getting non-essential surgery *right* before shitscream was the worst fucking idea i have not had a normal day for the past week and my surgery was three days ago
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forcedjuggalofication · 1 year ago
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gonna need new crutches for real this month bc i’ve been in enough pain that i haven’t been able to push myself to go without lately, and the underarm crutches i have rn are absolute ass :(
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inniave · 7 months ago
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every once in awhile i have a flashback so bad it triggers a seizure & nobody really knows why
#i am so fucking tired#and so fucking done#i would rather die than go in tomorrow but that's not an option anymore so fuck#the flashbacks have been constant for as long as i can remember but it's been awhile since they've been at this intensity for this long#i used to think i didn't have ptsd because i didn't have flashbacks until i learned that always feeling like it's happening again is indeed#a flashback#it's just not so isolated for me#so i'm like??? i should be able to deal with this. i'm used to it. pretty much every second of every day my body feels like i'm being#raped and tortured and beat and literally getting drilled in the bone i should be used to this#but it's so much it's so heavy there's no way out i cant do it#but i have to there's no other option except not get surgery which is not really an option :/#cause the pain from the bone is right where their cocks were 🙃 so that's been it's own special form of hell#and now i have to let someone cut me open there 🙃 and i cant be under general anesthesia 🙃#oh yeah and ITS EXAFTLY FUCKING LIKE THAT DOCTOR THAT ASSAULTED ME WHEN I WAS A FUCKING TODDLER COMING OUT OF SURGERY#fuck dude#sometimes i think maybe if it only happened once i'd be okay#ive lost track but i think we're up in triple digits at this point :/#not including the constant stuff in childhood#fuck no wonder i kept trying to kill myself jesus fucking christ#i'm so fucking scared#i'm so ready for all this to be over#it's been years of pain and this whole last month where it's become much more acute and all this visits and i cant take any more#we are at Capacity#we're splitting like hell already#fucking entire new subsystems fuck#fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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foldingfittedsheets · 2 years ago
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Now that I’m an adult and I have to take myself to the doctor I just treat myself like a feral little animal afterwards. Yes, that was hard. Have a little treat. Yeah, go immerse yourself in comfort, you had a hard day, someone looked in your ears.
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theophagie-remade · 2 years ago
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Hanahaki disease trope you will always be famous
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year ago
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Only I would get diagnosed with a hamstring tear and feel smug about it
#i’ve been saying this whole time it’s the tendon. it’s the tendon. all along the back of my knee there’s pain and it’s because of the tendon#but did anyone listen to me? NO#i could’ve kissed the doctor. i was like THANK YOU for diagnosing me with two sprains at the same time#I TOLD YOU PEOPLE I HAD A COMPLEX INJURY AND THAT WAS WHY IT WAS TAKING SO LONG TO HEAL#but did anyone listen??? NO#she also thinks i have joint hypermobility. i’m in love with her#my family members were all like waah waaaah a knee sprain shouldn’t take this long to heal#you’ve got cartilage stuck behind it; you need surgery#NO THE FUCK I DON’T#i had TWO sprains at the same time. my patella said ‘i think i’m going to go over there’ and my MCL and hamstring both said ‘FUUUUUUCK’#to clarify.. i’m not happy but i AM smug because now i know that 1) nothing is structurally wrong in my knee#(apart from that my patella sometimes likes to bugger off) and therefore I DON’T FUCKING NEED SURGERY#and 2) going to the hospital literally wouldn’t have helped me. it would never have changed my recovery time#i just would’ve known from the beginning that i’d be looking at months rather than weeks#knee sprain is 2 weeks. HAMSTRING TEAR?????? could be another 4 weeks on top of the 4 i’ve already experienced#anyway so ya girl is going to be x-rayed to make sure i don’t also have a cartilage injury (lol) and my patella is in fact#where it’s supposed to be. and they also want me to see physio. which i’m going to do#i don’t want anybody to fucking tell me i don’t know my body ever again. i TOLD you people it was the tendon and did anybody listen???? no#well anyway i’m going to have a fish finger sandwich and then i need to dust the house#because unfortunately my treatment plan involves exercise. goodbye cruel world#at least i’m allowed to take as many painkillers as i want. well i think that was what she said. that’s what i heard anyway#personal
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fruitmouse · 11 days ago
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maybe one day he/she will make a comeback. just maybe
#the way i want people to refer to me is always entirely dependent on how i. look? 😭#being genderfluid sucks and also rules like wdym it just changes. dude i don’t know#i’m impartial to they#pronoun order is almost entirely just to be perceived correctly 😭#they forward is like Hey i’m not. a dude btw. but i definitely do prefer he from people who don’t know me#so he forward usually takes precident#i think if i ever get top surgery suddenly she would be like. fine?? gang i don’t know#i mean she IS already fine in certain contexts. i definitely prefer it at work at least#like again it’s all a perception thing#pronouns to me are a form of expression rather than identity. how i ‘look’ and how i’m ‘referred to’ are both tied to how people perceive me#yk#so prns are sort of ‘part of the look’ in a sense?#whatever’s going on in this brain of mine is between me and whoever’s been unfortunate enough to hear me try to explain it LMAO#anyway. all this to say i’m getting gender envy from women again#universe ​give me one useless magical ability to let my hair be any length i want to to be Pleeeease please please Please#me and wigs are just not compatible sorry#that and its not really just about how *other* people see me i also just. want to Have It sometimes#just to myself#you know?#sometimes i want hair that falls right past my shoulders. real bad#but it’s usually more of a fleeting thing#more often i want it about how it is? a little longer if i can ever learn to maintain it but#sigh#i talk about my hair too much but it really is kind of integral to my identity and presentation#like when my hair isn’t cooperating i don’t get upset bc i look bad i get like. really violently dysphoric it’s wild
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waywardsalt · 3 months ago
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very freeing to actually own up (to myself) abt post-ph being an au. now i can make a little list of the little ways it deviates from leading to st
#i do not want to play st but i know vaguely enough to know where post ph deviates#rn its just tetra deciding not to find a new hyrule and linebeck being gay and unwilling and unable to have biological kids#with tetra ive been thinking kf her having a bit of a thing on realizing that she is technically what remains of hyrule#and it is ultimately up to her whether or not to let the kingdom remain a memory or to bring it back#and she eventually decides not to. try and erect a new kingdom in a world where people really dont even want that#like theres the whole thing abt the great sea being a dead zone or w/e and then theres fish in st. what is it#my hc for that is that the water around old hyrule is a dead zone but the further out the get the better things get#like the old kingdom is some blight under the seas and its not until its finally properly laid to rest does that dead zone fully disappear#look i know the gods fucking flooded hyrule but i honestly think its a biiiit much if they just gave the survivors a dead fucking ocean#that would likely lead to them just dying out with the only way out being to make the kingdom again#yknow the kingdom they fucking flooded. i feel like hyrule being re-established is fucking stupid and i think#mass-settling everyone on some landmass is a lot less interesting than everyone living one different islands and adjusting to this sea base#life. yknow? like i feel like theres a lot that can be done with islands with different geographies and cultures and populations#and also i think hyrule should stay gone i like the idea of the ww side of things being the one where the cycle ends#and so the world is free is from the cycle perpetuated by the kingdom’s existence and demise’s curse#i always think of demises curse as just being. as long as ur kingdom exists and whatnot there will be no peace#rather than a literal reincarnation cycle. its just. hyrule sucks and theres also a heros spirit thing#like theres a postal service and people are traveling and they have cultures and shit like. its not a hell situation#ppl are moving on and theres no kingdom to lord over all of them so they all have their own ways of life in their corners of the world#idk i think its interesting to think abt how the great sea world works and the different peoples and islands and how they go abt life#its more interesting to me than anyways yeah they are not free from the endless cycles of history and just make hyrule again#post-ph#salty talks#wanted to talk and didnt know what to talk abt so have a tag post#with a rlly tiny side of yeah post ph linebeck is sterile he got that shit removed bc he didnt want that there anyways#bottom surgery (or whatever its called its a hysterectomy) exists in the great sea. isnt there brain surgery mentioned#they got hrt in the great sea either its magic or its. idk potions. maybe the great sea era has decent medicine that seems to be the idea#tbh its not clear what happened to lead to st anyways i can just keep track of clear discrepancies#ill be honest im still iffy on the details with intersex linebeck and that. is an issue#i go with rn that he has ambiguous/female leaning genitals and had a malformed uterus and ovotestes that got removed
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deeisace · 4 months ago
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addelaidesupreme · 9 months ago
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I'm watching a video essay about a game ive been interested in playing. The creator of the video, who has crossdressed multiple times, makes a "women arent funny" joke, and i suddenly realize ive never witnessed him acknowledge a woman in an uplifting way before.
I'm on a dating app for lgbt+ people. I've stated multiple times on my profile that i would rather lose an arm than recieve nudes without consent. I will be sent five dick pics for every 2 people i talk to that night.
I'm talking with my dad, who informs me he's been trying his best to learn about trans issues. He says the same things steven crowder brings up when trying to ridicule trans people. I gently but firmly correct my father and get told that ive been fed propaganda.
I'm on instagram, under the comments of a post ridiculing someone for being a misogynyst. Someone's left a comment saying "it must be hard being a woman on the internet" and i respond "it is." I will have every aspect of my appearance scrutinized as a reminder that no matter how well i pass, it will never be enough for someone with bad intentions.
I'm back on that dating app for lgbt+ people. I'm messaged by an attractive looking person, but i can see their partner prominently displayed in all but their main photo, oftentimes striking what im sure they thought was a very intimidating pose. Their bio says "looking for a third for our anniversary." I know that even if I did feel up to it, the gruff partner wouldnt approve of me because i don't pass.
I'm at a job interview for a clothing store. I tell the gracefully-dressed woman interviewing me that ever since i began my transition, i've discovered an interest in fashion, and that this job would allow me to dip my toes into the industry in a safe way. I'm told that i've reduced womanhood to a stereotype, and i can tell by her tone that i lost any chance at the job the minute she realized i was trans.
I'm at the same hospital i got facial feminization surgery in, trying to figure out what's wrong with my bowels. When the person behind the desk gives me a wristband with my patient info on it, i notice a single, lonely, letter M. I ask a nurse in private why it would say that despite me having changed it nearly a year prior. They say they have no clue, and bring in paperwork for me to fill out and have it re-changed again.
I'm living with my mom at the time. I'm new to transitioning, and decide to try my hand at voice training. It feels a bit off, but otherwise im feeling neutral toward the whole thing. I try speaking in this new voice to my mom and she laughs. Now, when people ask if i intend to voice train, i find speaking at all difficult for minutes after.
I didnt have some sort of grand message to convey by this. I just had a thought and then that thought spiralled into whatever the hell this became. Some, okay most, might call it complaining; they are right to do so.
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bluastro-yellow · 1 year ago
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today someone compared me to a cute bunny, I don't think anyone has ever insulted me this much without wanting to
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cherry-pop-elf · 29 days ago
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New Chapter
Anya x Reader
Can be read as platonic because we all want the best for her
SUM: Anya gets an abortion so you and the rest of the crew wait for her. You were the first one, however, to see her after surgery. Also because fuck you, abortion rights
Warnings: Abortion, sexual assault, jimmy, medical situations, abortion rights, domestic happy family
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“How long is it gonna take?” Daisuke asked, as he was worried but also excited. Excited for Anya to feel better. Worried for well….Not like he’s had the best reactions to medical situations. Example A being Curly in the wheelchair next to him.
Curly was doing so much better now that he was actually on the planet again. The doctors were still jaw dropped that Anya was able to keep him alive with so little. Was not only a testimony to how she refused for him to die, but him refusing to leave his crew behind as well. It’s still a long journey ahead, but he was in clean bandages and clothes at least. Was even able to talk again. Sorta. Rather raspy but he will get there.
Jeez where to start on how you all got here to begin with.
“She’s going to be fine. Abortion is way less invasive than you think. It really depends on how far along, but luckily she isn’t too far for it to be to extreme. Not sure what type she went for, but whatever she chose she chooses. Just grateful we were able to return home before she reached to far along.” You would admit, as you would check up on Curly’s IV bag for him. Taking over Anya’s roll until she could return.
“Ya know….My wife had an abortion.” Swansea said, and it made all of you look over to him in pure surprise.
“What’s the funny look for? Ya think I’m a freak that would refuse my wife that? She needed it! The kid just….It ain’t my place, but the kid just wasn’t gonna survive. Either she carried it to term and die with em, or she just skips the heart ache. Not like it was her fault. We got two healthy girls at the end of the day. We got em because she got rid of that fucked up one.” He explained, as Daisuke seemed wide eyed in respect.
Explains why he snapped more clearly.
Anya had explained to Swansea what had happened, and before you pre Daisuke knew it Jimmy’s head was sliced off and rolling across the kitchen floor. Poor Suke threw up all over you from the sight, and shock. Then threw up again when he learned why he did such a thing. Lots of puking and crying. Fitting.
“Glad that damn company is dead. Whose wise idea was it to have a single woman surrounded by men. No offense you two-“ Curly would wheeze, before you would help him take his medication. Sure is easier to take pills when you actually give him water and take it slow. No choking or crying.
“Thats a can of worms I don’t want us to talk about.” Swansea would scoff. As a father to two girls he had a lot of things to say. Daisuke would be willing to listen, sure, but honestly you all had enough emotional fatigue to last multiple life times.
Thank god Curly was so high up on the food chain at the company. They knew they would get into more hot water if their, once, top captain suddenly vanished. Wouldn’t make their bankruptcy any smoother. For once they did the right thing and sent Simeon to save them.
Funny. A capitalist corporate organization took responsibility for their actions. For the right reasons? No. But they still took it. Strange. Isn’t it?
“Is she done yet?” Daisuke would whine, as you laughed at his childish nature. As if waiting on a sister to get out of the dentists office. You found it rather endearing honestly. That despite it all he was still having a heart full of love and excitement.
“Go play on your toy.” Swansea would grumble, as Suke whined. Regardless he would pull out his game boy. A nice excuse to play video games with out any guilt on wasting his time. Enjoying life shouldn’t be a burden.
“Need anything, Curly?” You would ask him, since you planned on going to the bathroom. Yeah Swansea and Daisuke could handle him, but you still wanted to be polite. Maybe you could grab him something from the vending machines. Maybe a soda. Some sugar in his system would do him good. Anya said that sugary bubble water of some kind, like sprite, can help quite a lot with indigestion.
“I should be fine. Thank you for asking though. Sorry you have to…” He would admit, as he looked himself over. His missing limbs now properly covered up with fabric to keep them clean, and allow him some kind of independence. The fabric on the stumps were padded. With enough practice and effort he would certainly be able to roll himself around.
Then again this was a world of space travel. He was going to get cyborged eventually, but you need to be healed first before such an intense operation. Can’t rush something like this.
“Hey. I do it because I can. Not because I have to. You are our captain. Let me be a good solider.” You teased him, and even in his broken face you could see a smile.
Swansea have you a head nod to indicate he would ‘take care of the boys’ and you were off to use the restroom.
Once done with that you would grab a soda from the vending machine for Curly, a bag of candy for Daisuke, and some pretzels for Swansea. As you were making your way back a nurse would motion you over.
“Miss Anya was asking for you. She has finished her operation, and wanted you to see her.”
You were surprised at that. You expected Curly to be her first guest. Did something go wrong? Oh you couldn’t help but freak out.
You followed after the nurse quickly, and all you were shown was Anya resting in her hospital bed. Tired, but relieved. Mostly. You saw that familiar stress in her eyes. That same stress she had when asking you if she made the right choice in asking Jimmy for help with medicating Curly.
That worry of if I did the right thing.
The nurse would leave you to alone, and you would quickly set the snacks aside. Now you were sitting next to her, in a chair, and holding her hand. Ready to be the shoulder she needed.
“Hey there Doc. How you doing?” You asked her, as you carefully stroked the back of her hand. Made sure to be mindful of all the tubes and wires.
“Well….It went far smoother than I expected. It was just so quick. They didn’t even need to put me under. The IV is more so for the issues I already had because of being stranded on the ship for so long. It was just so quick. So painless. Was just like pulling a thorn out of an arm. It was….Simple.” She would try and explain to you. Needing to make sure to stop herself before using doctor jargon.
“Too easy?” You puzzled.
“Yes. It was just….I expected pain. Pain and anxiety and horror. Suppose even a nurse can come to learn a thing or two…..”
She was hiding something, and you had an educated guess on what.
“You expected Jimmy to break down the door. Weren’t you?”
There was silence, but it told you everything.
“Scoot over. Move it sister-“ You were now crawling into the medical bed with her, moving the wires around, and soon snuggled into her side. Hugging her close, and especially with your arm over her stomach.
“You did the right thing. It’s your body at the end of it all. You took responsibility of taking care of yourself. You wouldn’t have been able to live a proper life. You went to med school. You don’t need me to tell you the horrors of pregnancy and birth. That alone is terrifying. But also you simply not wanting to be pregnant is enough. Ain’t no Jimmy’s gonna storm in and say otherwise.” You huffed, as she smiled. Her head leaning into yours.
“Yeah….No more Jimmy’s. Pretty sure Swansea will make sure of that.” She did her best to joke, and you were proud of her for it. This whole ordeal was hell. Hell none of you will ever truly walk away from. But that’s ok. You all had each other to lean on.
“I think I’m ready for everyone now.” Anya would whisper, as you gave her hand a squeeze. You were so proud of her. This was all such a nightmare, but she’s taking it in stride.
“Hell yeah.” You agreed, before climbing out of the bed. You made sure to grab the snacks, and exited the hospital room.
“Come on guys-! Anya is waiting on you-!” You shameless shouted outside of the room. She couldn’t help her face palm. Daisuke sure was an influence on you.
“I wanna push Curly!”
“Like hell you are-!”
They would bicker away, before Curly said ‘fuck it’ and did his best to roll himself over. He sure was a stubborn one. Made it half way before you figured that was enough work out for one person.
“Pretty far! Getting better at it-!” You encouraged, as the two men realized how far Curly rolled off on before finally following you two into Anya’s room.
“HAPPY NO BIRTH-DAY!” Daisuke would cheer, as Anya shook her head at such a joke.
“God dammit kid-“ Swansea side, before he came over to Anya. Giving her head a kiss. Just comforting her much like a father would.
“How many of us need to be in medical beds?” Curly would give a raspy snort, as Anya reached her hand out. He would lean his head over, and she would give it a stroke. As if all his hair never burned off. A means of holding his hand, in a way, compared to just grasping a limb.
She didn’t need children.
She had all of you.
What else could a woman want?
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Since you were willing to read through this story to the end, and get a nice in depth look on the importance of such why not donate to some organizations? : D
Planned Parenthood
Nation Network For Abortion Funds
National Abortion Federation
The Bridge Alliance
The Satanic Temple
ActBlue
No worry on donating. Spreading awareness and signing petitions still help! The more people learn and understand the better! Could also like reblog with other organizations or petitions!
Abortion is healthcare!
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fish-crow-star-snowman · 2 months ago
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LaDS Zayne Imagine
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Zayne x reader/mc
angst, fluff, pregnancy and labor
You had gone into labor before you knew it. Everything was planned and carefully organized for the big day that your little one would arrive.
No one is ever really READY though. Your excitement and nervousness was getting the best of you. While Zayne whom was often on the other side of that spectrum, calm and collected as ever, was quite the nervous wreck himself.
He'd been at work all day, not too busy. Regardless, he hated leaving you at home. Prayed in hopes that he would conveniently be home by the time you went in labor. His heart dropped receiving a call from the obstetrician gynecology department of the hospital.
"Dr.Zayne, your wife is in labor."
Throughout the months of the pregnancy, there were several talks with your obgyn about this being possibly high-risk. Every possible scenario surged through Zayne's head. During the whole experience, you often were met with doctor Zayne rather than what you needed the most, your partner.
The second the call hung up, he was quick to run to your side. He'd already given notice to his colleagues prior to your arrival just in case. He was almost always prepared. Almost.
His eyes gleamed upon seeing your already exhausted but seemingly relieved look. While he's obviously glad to see you're okay, his attention turns to the doctor, another colleague.
"How is she doing, Dr.Turner?"
"Oh Dr.Zayne, it's been a while! How have you been holding up?"
Silence sweeps the room for what felt like an eternity. Zayne clearly was not in the mood for a reunion. The doctor opting to answer his question instead.
"She is one centimeter dilated. No imposing risks so far. It's been smooth sailing. However she's not progressing nearly as fast as we would like.
"How long has she been here?"
"3 hours, sir."
"Why wasn't I called earlier.."
His tone deepens, irritation seeping from his obviously overworked body. The doctor stayed quiet, knowing the words 'too busy' wouldn't have been a good enough answer.
"My love, I tried calling you first but you didn't pick up. I remembered you had a 6 hour surgery this morning. I chose to call an ambulance instead. I'm sorry."
Guilt stung his chest. Of all hours of the day, why. He walked to your side and took your hands in his, pressing your fingertips to his lips and whispered.
"You always come first. No matter what."
His words were meaningful and for a moment you had the man you had been longing to have for months. It was short-lived however.
Like the doctor predicted, it was an unusually long process. You didn't dilate your second centimeter until 6 hours after your partner's arrival at your room. It's been about 30 hours of nonstop cycles of contractions. Unbeknownst to him, Zayne hasn't been making things easier.
Both of you were completely worn out, haven't ate or slept. Zayne's surgeon mode was still on and you were about to combust. Talks with the doctors about your condition like you weren't in the room, like you were just another one of his patients. Looking over your chart and giving demands to the nurses as if he were still working.
You knew he was trying his best to keep his composure for you. Making sure you were in the best health at all times and he was doing an amazing job. It didn't change the fact it was making you feel a little alone in this. What you needed was his hands on yours, telling you that you were going to be okay. That you can do this. A kiss to your forehead every now and again for reassurance maybe?
Nine centimeters. Finally. You were close to the end and soon you'd be holding the proof of yours and Zayne's love. At least it's what it should have been but you were at your breaking point. Zayne had his back towards you still keeping up conversations with nurses.
"Zayne!"
He tensed hearing your strained shout. He turned to look at you with that oh so familiar concerned gaze. Everything was quiet once again. All that was heard was the sound of the monitors beeping. It was your turn to feel guilty.
You closed your eyes briefly and sucked in a deep breath before holding out your hands for him to take. Understanding your gesture, he walks to your bedside crouching slightly to your eye level.
You fought hard to keep the tears from spilling out of your water line. You spoke in the softest tone possible, in hopes to forget how you just yelled at him.
"You are an amazing doctor and I couldn't ask for a better one these past few months." You paused for a moment, letting a tear shed your cheek and huffing another breath. "But I would like to have my husband for this.. please.."
His eyes widened at the implication of your words and letting out a soft gasp of realization.
He stands up finally relieving himself of his white coat he had been wearing since yesterday and removed his glasses to set on your bedside table. It showed how disheveled he was underneath. Hair was a mess, tie crooked from his constant fidgeting and tugging, and two buttons at the top of his shirt undone.
Zayne motions you to scoot down your bed a little, sitting behind you to cradle you with his strong legs on both sides of your body. His fingers traced the back of your arms before resting them on your shoulder and giving them a tight squeeze. Small kisses made their way from your shoulder to your neck.
Your body reacted immediately, letting loose the tension you didn't know you even had.
"I'm sorry." Zayne's voice a little shaky but gentle and clear nonetheless. "I'm sorry I've left you alone in this. It was never my intention. I love you so much." He repeats those same two words over and over.
While you can feel your gown dampen from his own tears, you can't help but smile. This. This is what you needed to relax. Before you could open your mouth to respond, the obgyn breaks the moment.
"Alright, ten centimeters dilated. Are you ready to start pushing?"
Zayne drops his hands to your side, signaling for you to take them into your own as support. Placing more kisses to the top of your head, he whispers reassurances. 'You've got this' 'You can do it' 'You're so strong'.
You have a tight grip on his wrist threatening to break his arm, but he didn't seem to care. If he could take all your pain, he would. Dilation was a tiring process, everything after seemed to flow rather quickly. The head, then shoulders, and finally legs.
Within seconds of the doctors clearing your baby's nasal passage, you and Zayne hear that oh so beautiful sound you had been waiting for. Before moving on any further, the baby was placed on your now naked chest. You admired every inch of your baby, in awe. Thick black hair sat on top of their small head. Eyes glowing hues of orange and green.
You have a Zayne mini me. Speaking of which, distracted by your own emotions, you forgot to see how your husband was hanging on. And it definitely wasn't like you expected, he wasn't saying anything but he didn't have to. His expression said enough. Your baby already had him wrapped around their finger.
His hand came to rest upon yours that was cradling the back of the baby's head. "Thank you for this new chapter in life you've given me, my jasmine."
"Congratulations Mr and Mrs. Li, it's a—"
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a/n: I never intended this to be a fic, it was just meant to be an idea for a better fic writer. one who writes more. It just rolled this way. however if anyone wants to use this, please do. Just give me a little credit ❤️
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