#like when my hair isn’t cooperating i don’t get upset bc i look bad i get like. really violently dysphoric it’s wild

[fruitmouse]

maybe one day he/she will make a comeback. just maybe

[moonstruckme]

Hiii! I love your writing so much! I was wondering if you could write a poly!marauders x fem!reader where they have curly hair and they offhandedly mention wishing they didn’t or that they are thinking of getting it chemically straightened or something and all the boys are just like 😱 “don’t you dare” and super over dramatic bc they love her hair. Thank you!!

Thanks for requesting lovely!

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 695 words

You smooth more product into your hair, blowing out a harsh breath when the stubborn curl springs back up from the top of your head anyway. 

“Argh!” You press your hands to your eyes, feeling on the brink of tears. “I cannot deal with this right now.” 

“What is it?” Remus asks from where he’s sitting on the bathroom rug, watching the rest of you get ready. 

“My hair isn’t cooperating.”

“It looks fine to me,” James says, and then at the ferocious look you send him, he adds hastily, “More than fine. Gorgeous, perfect. Just like you.” 

“It’s this frizz,” you huff. “I just want it to look neat for one night, is that too much to ask? This is ridiculous.” You seize a pair of scissors, thinking to simply cut the curl—there may be consequences in the long run, but damn it, you just want it to look decent now—but Sirius grabs your wrist.

“What are you doing?” He wrestles the scissors from you. “Shit, baby, it doesn’t look bad at all! Don’t get so riled up.” 

“You don’t get it,” you say, knowing you sound childish but too frustrated to care. “It’s unmanageable. It’s too much work, all of the time! There’s this thing where you can get it chemically straightened, I think I’m going to do that.” 

Sirius had started bringing his eyeliner pencil to his lash line, but it goes straight down his cheek at your words. “What?”

“Sweetheart,” James says, sounding appalled, “you can’t!”

“Why not?” You really want to know. Why shouldn’t you do the thing that’d make your life so much easier?

“Be—because,” he insists. “It’s your hair!”

“Dove.” Even Remus seems upset, a concerned line appearing between his brows. “Your hair is so lovely, why would you want to make it less unique?”

“None of you have to deal with wrangling it every day,” you grumble, attempting again to smooth down the rebellious curl and pointing at it accusingly when it boings back up. 

“Shit, I’ll do it,” Sirius says, batting your hands away and beginning to fuss over your hair. He hasn’t wiped away his eyeliner, and it sweeps down his cheek like a comically gothic teardrop. “If it’ll keep you from ruining it with chemicals, I’ll do your hair for you every day.” 

“You won’t want to,” you say darkly. “You’ll get sick of it soon. It’s impossible, it never behaves when you want it to.” 

James sets his chin on your shoulder, pouting at you in the mirror. “I think it looks cool when it doesn’t behave. It’s curly, part of the appeal is that it doesn’t have to be neat.” 

The compliments wash over you without your noticing. “But what if I want to look nice?” 

“You always look nice, darling,” Remus sighs, rolling his eyes like you’re being difficult. “And James is right. Your hair might not always look sleek or perfectly smooth, but it has its own personality. Don’t get upset with it because of its nature. Be nicer to it, hm?” 

You’re about to argue with him again, but Sirius takes your chin in his hand, turning your head and capturing your lips with his. His mouth is insistent on yours, and James snickers as you make a low, whiny sound. Sirius looks at you evenly as he pulls back, leaving his thumb on your chin.

“Let me deal with it,” he says firmly, “and when I’m done, it’s going to look so pretty you’re going to wonder why you ever thought of changing it.” 

You don’t reply, but he recognizes your silence for the assent it is, taking the errant curl and beginning to braid it into a small section of your hair. 

“Ooh, I like that,” James says, watching Sirius’ deft fingers in the mirror. “Moons, will you let me do that to yours?”

Remus sighs as though it comes at a great cost, but agrees, moving to sit down in front of James so that he can receive the same princess treatment you are. 

“See, dovey?” He looks up at you, smirking. “Now if you say your hair doesn’t look good, you’ll be insulting us both.”

[tellthosewithpowersafeintower]

Autistic Bumlets HC’s

This is actually one of the first things I wrote but I’ve been nervous to post it. Anyway, I had so much fun writing this and love Bumlets so much

I might write more for this at some point if anyone’s interested with some more thoughts and I hope you enjoy! This is super long and kind of rambly but I had fun with all of this

Bumlets loves his cane

It has a really nice weight and he always needs to be fidgeting with something and he loves the feel it has when tapping it

It doubles as a stimmy and something to help him maneuver because Bumlets has no coordination

And he loves it

He also on an unrelated note had an injury that screwed with his foot when he was a kid

It bothers him more when its cold out and he relies more on the cane on bad pain days

He uses it as a selling point sometime

He and Crutchie joke around sometimes and mess with their crutch and cane together

They know things can be awful sometimes so they share lighter, goofy silly moments

Bumlets is really uncoordinated

He has a really hard time maneuvering around and controlling his movement when he’s walking

There’s this one table in the hall of the Lodging’s

It stayed in the same place but every day for three years the boy could not get by without knocking into it at some point

His proprioception is completely screwed

He loves dancing tho and he’s SO GOOD at it

He feels self-conscious sometimes bc like, he can do backflips and amazing dance moves but he can’t tell left from right all the time or the distance between objects and proceeds to knock into everything on his way anywhere

Absolutely LOVES dancing

He loves it

Plus dance is a more acceptable way to move your body than flapping your hands/rocking or whatever

At least with the newsies (who don’t really seem to care either way)

Bumlets loves being in motion

He had to work really hard as a kid to figure out how to coordinate his dancing movements. He spent hours trying to practice each step because he was so clumsy due to his brain function that even though he really freaking loved dancing it was really hard for him

He actually used the cane first when he was little to try and help push himself around when he struggled with dance moves he really wanted to do

He’s very proud of his dancing now

And he loves that he gets to show it with the boys he loves as family

He gets praised sometimes for being super expressive because he’s almost always smiling or showing something on his face. It can be really good for selling sometimes to have someone so that seems so open and friendly

Honestly tho Bumlets never knows what is happening on his face so if people ask he has no clue how to help

He has a hard time registering what his face is doing at all 

He can tell sometimes he’s smiling really widely when his face starts hurting but he feels pretty disconnected from his face most of the time and he’s really confused by how others can tell what is happening on people’s faces and what that is supposed to signify so easily

Like… how

Bumlets really doesn’t get idioms at all

He has a mental list of some of the phrases the other newsboys use

Even though sometimes he’ll slip up and get really excited and start grinning because he has a relevant point in response to that statement- but oh that’s a phrase/idiom or non-literal joke they didn’t actually mean that he should stay quiet

Plus English isn’t his first language

So things get really messy there too

There are so many little idiosyncrasies and quirks in different languages and they’re really hard to keep track of sometimes even if you don’t have autistic characteristics

His hair always stays down and he really likes the feel of it

He can’t stand the thought of getting a haircut

Plus having it long/hang down feels nice on the sensory end

He doesn’t like people touching his hair

Bad. Touch.

Bumlets doesn't like short pants bc if your going to wear pants they have to go all the way down

He doesn't like leaving just a section of skin exposed

It's gross!!

Baggy. Clothes.

He loves them

He very rarely slips up when he's dancing. Bumlets has rehearsed the motions for so many countless hours they feel natural at this point so he's generally in a pretty bad way when that does happen

When he gets excited he tends to start tapping his cane faster and his eyes light up

He can chatter away for hours about things he's interested in without pause or losing enthusiasm

Bumlets can be pretty oblivious

He has a hard time telling when people are upset or emotional

Hyperempathetic as frick

Internally panics and screams the whole time anyone is upset bc he isn't sure what he's supposed to do but he Loves Them

Hypersensitive to touches but loves hugs

He is a very physical person bc he loves showing affection but some days touch is just Bad

Can't do surprise touches very well

Espec from certain people

He has a hard time supporting his weight (he just sways faintly a lot but has no idea, can't tell if he's in motion) so he uses his cane for support

It helps him a lot

And he likes something to try to use to catch him if he stumbles a little

Plus itsa stimmy

He tends to shut down if noises and lights become way too much

Like this: 

Duck behind a statue for a moment to breathe

also

tap tap tap and finger thing I can’t get my body to cooperate to do

He has a few places he goes when he's overwhelmed

Very rarely completely shuts down but it's always incredibly exhausting

The first time he did it around the newsies he just collapsed and slept for hours afterwards

He didn't move like at all in his sleep which freaked them all out because Bumlets always seemed to be doing something + he slept for like a whole day

The boys worried about him

Bumlets was a lil sleepy and sheepish when he woke up but good

Used his cane extra that day

The newsies are super great

They don't always understand but they try really hard and love him to death

There aren’t really a lot of words to help him explain things because it is 1899 but they all make it work, and if the kids can sell papes and live with the rest of them they have been absorbed into their crazy weird family and will be fought for

They've become pretty good at noticing signs for when he's getting overwhelmed

Usually someone will grab him and take him out to rest if he’s not in a space to just go himself

Different people do different things but he loves them all

Some of the boys will just have quiet conversations with Bumlets one-on-one about things he loves when he's more coherent

One just sits with him quietly supportive while he fiddles with stuff

He actually doesn't smoke a lot but he loves fiddling with cigars or messing with them in his mouth

Oral stim

He used to use them a lot more

He still uses them sometimes and has some around

One time after a really bad day (meltdown) Race gave him one of his cigars. He made him promise not to tell anyone but Bumlets was so happy he couldn't care less

He was very careful with said cigar bc it was from Race

So it was automatically important

He doesn't always understand Race cause he's super witty but he loves hearing him talk

Bumlets can be a really convincing liar. He's not the best but he can definitely pass and he kind of has to on the streets

Can be really loud

Rowdy boy, like the rest of the newsies

Adventurous as frick

Wild child

He’s super eager and almost always seen smiling

He’s excited by so many things

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have other emotions because he definitely does

He feels like he just soaks up all emotions and dealing with them when he can’t understand is a mess

Skittery is great at listening even when Bumlets is past the point of words or even understanding how to put things into words

Doesn't always realize when things are supposed to be insults

Forgets he's supposed to take care of himself sometimes

He forgets he's supposed to eat and doesn't always realize if he's hungry or needs water

Exasperates Skittery and some of the boys but they try to remind him in case he doesn't remember

The newsies love him

He's awkward and nervous and doesn't understand things sometimes but really kind and cares very obviously about all of them

Appreciates the little things

He's good at noticing tiny details or inconsistencies others miss sometimes

While he’s friends are really great at helping that doesn’t mean he can’t fend for himself

He can definitely pick fights and hold his own and look after himself

His family is just their to help when things go sour

They don’t make him feel like he’s any less bc he’s “weird” or different

Skittery is incredibly close with him and helps him a lot

They’re So. Close.

Skittery helps keep track of things when his thoughts are more scattered

Bumlets is also very good at helping Skittery because he’s really smart with money and sorting things out

When he pushes himself too far sometimes Skittery is the exasperated friend who wants Bumlets to stop being an idiot and look after himself

He's really supportive and sometimes tugs him aside to help explain terms or phrases when Bumlets doesn't understand

Skittery also has a cane and they tussle a lot with them

Bumlets has always really loved that bc when they were starting it out it made him feel like he was one of them

They're almost always inseparable

And he has a hard time sometimes when he doesn't have Skittery because with Skittery things Make Sense 

When he's gone Bumlets is sad

He misses his friend

But the other boys are nice too and he loves them

He considers the newsies his family since he doesn’t really have his bio family anymore

[steviemae]

not a superhero // bc

requested by anonymous: hii! could I request a Betty Cooper imagine where the reader is worried about Betty as she keeps getting involved with the black hood etc and worries about her a lot and they argue about it and soon make up ? 💓

You ran as fast as you could inside the Sheriff’s station. Betty had called you telling you what had happened with her and Archie and how Mr. Sfenson was the black hood and all of the gorey details. You were worried out of your mind.

“Oh my god, Betty!” you called when you saw her all covered in dirt, looking distraught, “i’m so happy you’re okay. Your call scared me.” you pulled her into the tightest hug you could manage.

“I’m fine. But could i stay at your house tonight?” she asked when you pulled away.

“Of course.” you smoothed some of her baby hairs back, her always perfect ponytail a little messy from the nights events. You grabbed her hand and lead her out to your car, both of you getting in. As you drove, Betty began telling you everything that happened and all of her theories behind the black hood.

“I don’t think Mr. Sfenson was the black hood. I think he was a decoy to make me think he was, but the black hood is still out there.” she rambled. You were scared, for her and yourself. You felt like Betty was slowly losing her mind and you couldn’t bare the thought of that happening. You cared about her too much to see that happen.

You pulled up at your house, both you and Betty getting out and walking inside. You sighed as you took your coat off, tossing it on the back of the couch and slipped your shoes off.

“What’s wrong?” Betty asked from behind you.

“Nothing, i’m just worried about you Betty. I think you’re going a bit overboard with this whole black hood stuff and i get that he’s targeting you but i really think you should let the police do their jobs.” you ranted a little trying to keep your voice as soft as possible.

“They aren’t doing their jobs. That’s the problem.” she sassed.

“Because you won’t let them. If you gave all of this information to them, then maybe they’d be able to catch him but you don’t tell anyone but your friends and then go off investigating yourself. You do understand that he’s a serial killer, right? You’re chasing after a killer who more than likely wants to kill you too. I’m terrified for you, Betty.”

“I can handle whatever this asshole throws at me.” she snapped, growing more and more angry.

“I know you can, but you don’t have to. I don’t know what i’d do if anything happened to you and i worry about you whenever we’re not together. I just care about you too much to sit and watch you drive yourself mad trying to figure out who this guys is.” you stepped forward taking her hands in yours.

“I have to do this! If i don’t more people will die.” she snatched her hands from yours raising her voice a little.

“I get that this whole town thinks they need you, but what about me, huh? What if i need you?” you yelled as your eyes filled with tears, “i need you here, Betty. I can’t let you run around trying to save a town that thinks she’s their superhero. I’m worried about you and scared about everything that could possibly happen. I just don’t want you to end up like them.”

“y/n? Is everything okay, dear?” your mom asked groggily as she walked downstairs.

“Yeah, mom. Everything is fine. Um, Betty’s gonna stay the night. We were just heading to bed.” you told her kissing her cheek as you past her on the stairs. Betty followed behind you, bidding your mom goodnight as she headed to your room.

“y/n, i didn’t -”

“Don’t. Let’s just go to bed.” you cut her off, throwing her some clothes to change into after you changed into your pajamas. You climbed into bed, facing your back to Betty and turning out the light. Neither of you said a word to each other the rest of the night.

When you woke up the next morning, Betty was gone. She left a note saying she went home and that was it. You got out of bed, getting ready for school still kind of angry about last night but also still very worried about Betty.

At school, Betty was avoiding you though you weren’t going out of your way to talk to her either. Veronica had said that Betty told her everything that happened last night and she was on your side, which made Betty mad.

“I just don’t want anything to happen to her but the deeper she gets in all of this, the more of a risk there is and i just can’t sit here and watch her do that to herself.” you ranted.

--

Over the course of the next week, you didn’t really speak to Betty much. She was still avoiding you because of the argument the two of you had about her involvement with the black hood. You decided that you didn’t want bad blood between the two of you and you didn’t want to lose her over a  stupid argument, so you made the first move in sorting things out between you guys.

“Can we talk?” you asked when you met her at her locker.

“Have more stuff you want to yell at me for?” she snapped.

“No, but if you’re not going to listen to me then nevermind. You obviously still don’t understand why i’m so upset about your situation in the first place. So forget i asked.” you turned to walk away. Jughead had whispered to Betty, scolding her for being so mean. Betty ran down the hall to catch up with you.

“Let’s go to the blue and gold and talk.” she said when she caught up to you. You nodded and followed her into the room, letting her shut the door behind you.

“Look, i will admit that i went about that conversation the wrong way, but i am worried about you, Betty. This isn’t something a teenager should have to go through and you shouldn’t have to do any of the things he’s making you do. I still stand by letting the police do their jobs and you taking all of this to them will help.” you started.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have reacted the way i did to you just expressing your worry.” You crossed the room to stand in front of her and pull her into a hug.

“Can we never fight again. I hated seeing you avoid me in the hallway.” you mumbled.

“Never again.” the two of you held each other in a tight hug until the bell rang making the two of you separate and head to class.

[inkstainedfanfics]

Burdens

Request: Hi! I know you probably have so many requests right now but i have one too, and you can add it to the list and do it whenever you like. I was thinking newtxreader where everyone says reader is dumb compared to newt and calls her names and stuff and she feels like she's just a burden to newt and that she's just holding him back? When newt realises how everyone treats her he gets angry but then makes her feel better? Fluffy fluff fluff at the end bc i need that after your angsty fics!!

Word Count: 1,899

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Tag List: @dont-give-a-bother (you requested this I hope you love it!!) @red-roses-and-stories @caseoffics @ly--canthrope @thosefantasticbeast2 @myrtus-amongst-the-stars @benniesgalaxy @whatinbenaddiction @studyforthreehands

“For such an intelligent man, I must say I expected more from his wife.”

The businessman’s words are a whisper as they always are, an attempt to hide an opinion that harms. Not that they truly care. If they did, they would keep their words to themselves.

You try to shrug it off, turning your back to the man that whispered it, to the look he gives you as you spin away, to hide the faltering smile that you struggle to retain. But it’s useless. There’s no ignoring those words.

It isn’t the first such comment you’ve heard at the party, and it certainly won’t be the last of the night. The words, the sentiment, are always accompanied by a snide tone and a lip curled into a sneer or twisted in confusion, eyes darting to you, to your burning cheeks as you pretend not to hear, not to notice the way they see you, the way they compare you to the man you love.

But this time it’s worse. This time, despite the gentle rumble of the crowd and the hum of the band’s song, Newt hears.

He stiffens immediately, head cocking in confusion, as though he can’t quite believe what he just heard.

You’re reaching for his hand to pull him away before he can say anything, but it’s too late. Newt’s at your side, shoulders tense, hand clenched around the ornate glass of butterbeer he’d left your side to grab.

“Hello, love,” he murmurs, voice low as he presses a kiss to your temple.

The men in front of you brighten as Newt approaches, smiles you despise lighting up their faces, stretching across their cheeks. They both raise their glass to Newt. One’s already spilled a tad bit of wine on the light blue of his button-down shirt, a shirt that does not match his green eyes. And the tie’s as black as his hair, a strange combination you take comfort in mocking in your mind. How can a grown man not know how to dress himself properly?

But Newt nods at him, “Cooper.”

“Newt!” The man says, voice too loud, too cheery to be genuine. He stands in a fading streak of sunlight that’s been tinted red by the stained glass windows that run the full length of the room’s towering walls.

Newt’s voice is icy, nod short, eyes flitting to the other man, a brunette with crooked teeth and bad breath. “Jones.”

“Mr. Scamander, a pleasure. A wonderful party the ministry’s thrown for you here.”

“It’s lovely,” Newt murmurs, free hand slipping around your waist and tugging you to his side. “A shame your wife couldn’t make it, Jones. I understand she’s home for the night, right?”

“Right, keeping the kids in order. They’re wonders, the both of them.”

Newt forces a smile to his face and nods. “Is that so? Honestly, I’ve heard otherwise.”

“Excuse me?” He takes half a step forward as you glance at Newt in surprise. A rude comment, certainly. What is Newt doing?

Newt just squeezes your side gently. “Now was it Tommy that I heard shattered another boy’s nose at Hogwarts?”

Jones’s smile falters, and he raises his glass to his lips. “An accident, nothing more.”

Newt shrugs, eyes narrowed as he also raises his glass to his lips. “Truly? I heard that it was intentional. Some silly feud over bloodlines?”

You watch the exchange in awe, heart speeding as Newt attacks the other man. As he defends you in the best way he can.

Jones shifts from foot to foot, both hands wrapping around his glass now as he thins his lips. “I’m not sure where you heard this rumor, but I can assure you that it isn’t true.”

Newt raises an eyebrow. “Is that so? Well, I must say I’m relieved. I wouldn’t want to work with someone that raises a prejudiced child. Reflects rather poorly on the parents, doesn’t it?”

Jones coughs out something that resembles a laugh, an attempt to mask the discomfort clear in his tense stance, his clenched jaw, his tight grip. “It surely does, Mr. Scamander. Say, have you considered that advertising deal from Stowna’s firm? I must say, it seems a wonder for our book.”

“My book,” Newt clarifies, a wry smile on his face. He ignores the question, eyes darting to Cooper’s miserable attempt to suppress a smile. “Enjoying the party, Cooper?”

“Oh, very much so. The ministry clearly put effort into the celebration. Not that you don’t deserve it. 20,000 copies sold is quite the accomplishment.”

“I’m very aware. Say, you wrote a book, correct?”

Cooper puffs out his chest, chin raising. “Indeed I did. Sold thousands upon thousands of copies, it did.”

“Mmm,” Newt hums, thumb rubbing up and down your side as he sips his butterbeer. “Congratulations. You had a celebration?” Newt swirls his drink, staring at it as he asks the question.

“Yeah, at home. It wasn’t anything nearly as grand as this, but it was all I needed.”

“That’s good. Did you invite Harlowe?”

Cooper’s face pales, the smug smile fading quickly as you watch on in wonder. “Who?”

“Mia Harlowe? She’s a talented writer. Surely you’ve heard of her.”

Cooper clears his throat, looking toward Jones for help, but the other man says nothing. “I—I’m afraid I haven’t—I don’t know her.”

“It’s a shame she hasn’t had anything published under her name. You know, she was researching the various effects of wand cores as well. Perhaps you should send her a message, compare your notes.”

Cooper’s mouth is open, whether to speak or drink you aren’t sure, but he hasn’t a chance to decide as Newt’s arm leaves your waist, instead intertwining his fingers with yours.

“I suppose we should greet others, right love?”

You nod, allowing a smile at the men’s stunned and shamed expressions. “Right. There are plenty of people waiting on you.”

Newt nods at the men one final time, raising his glass. “Do enjoy the festivities.”

And with that, Newt leads you through the crowd, but he’s still the slightest bit tense, fingers just a little too tight in your hand, back just a little too straight.

“Newt,” you question as he leads you away from them, “what was that? You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yes, well, some people need to be put in their places sometimes. Even elected officials and publishers.” He stiffens again. “I heard what they said and I couldn’t… I can’t…” He shakes his head, sucking in a breath. “They’re ridiculous.”

You swallow, eyes dropping in shame as your cheeks heat up. “Maybe.”

Newt stops at this, warm hand tugging you to a stop as well. “Sorry, what was that?”

People swirl about, their conversations rising and falling with the live band in the corner. The ministry is packed, filled with men and women that refuse to miss an opportunity to schmooze with high ranking officials. And there are plenty of them here, but Newt’s not paying attention to any of them now as he pulls you to the stone wall, only offering the slightest of smiles and nods to those congratulating him along the way.

“Newt, don’t worry about it,” you murmur as he begins to make his way through the crowd again, leading you to an isolated area of the room, away from the bar and the musicians and the people.

“Love,” he says, spinning on you, releasing your hand to run his own through his hair, “they’re wrong. I know you. They’re wrong.”

You shrug, rubbing your arm, heart pounding in your chest. You hadn’t meant for this, hadn’t meant for him to ever hear someone speak about you that way. Of course he’d be upset.

“I guess I just… worry. I mean, you’re you. A world class author, traveling the world, able to repeat hundreds of facts about creatures at a moment’s notice, crafting potions that heal and restore memory and… and I’ve done nothing. I don’t even understand half of the stuff you talk about sometimes.” You stare at the tips of Newt’s shoes, polished to a shine for tonight. “I don’t know, I guess I just worry that one day you’ll realize they’re right. Everyone’s… right.”

“Dear—”

“No, it’s fine.” You wave a hand, misery settling like a blanket over the night. You hadn’t meant to make him feel this, feel like he had to stand up for you. You’d only wanted him to have a wonderful night. “This isn’t your problem. Not tonight.”

He frowns. “Love, I think you’re brilliant because you are. It has nothing to do with how intelligent others think you are.”

You shift from foot to foot, avoiding the solemn, green eyed gaze that you so love. It’s not his problem, not his fault you can’t understand things that he can, not his fault that you can’t just learn simple concepts, so why is he making it his problem? He’s supposed to be enjoying the night, meeting businessmen and old friends and instead he’s here, in the corner, dealing with your issues. Isn’t that proof? Isn’t this proof that you’re dragging him down, that you’re his greatest problem?

“Newt, I should go. I don’t… I can’t do this right now.”

Newt grabs your arm gently, head tilting, wry smile growing. “You’re brilliant in every sense of the word. Cooper, Jones, they’re fools. They’d never be able to do what you do.”

“Drag you down?”

“Pardon me, love, but you’re being ridiculous now.

You recoil. “What?”

He chuckles, stepping closer so that he’s bathed in the same strip of golden light as you. “A mite ridiculous, but wholly adorable. Love,” and when he says the words, it’s drenched in tenderness, one that’s just barely matched by the way he runs a thumb over your cheekbone as he cradles your face with his free hand, “I adore you, every inch of you. There’s not a bit of you that I would change. I don’t know anyone else that can understand my notations like you, or that can maintain a journal’s worth of free floating noted pages. Nor does anyone else treat creatures with the care that you do. You know all of their names, and you can tell them apart with a glance. Do you think men like Cooper or Jones could ever be able to do anything like that?”

“See, dear,” he continues, closer and closer until you have to tilt your head to look up at him, “you’re perfect.”

Tears are welling up in your eyes, but not from harsh words anymore, but sweet ones, from the love apparent on Newt’s face.

Until, that is, he grins mischievously. “Other than your penchant for snoring. I suppose I would change that.”

You smack his shoulder, stepping away from him lest others notice the closeness between the two of you, the intimacy of the moment. “Whatever, Newt. You snore just as loud.”

He laughs again, taking a sip of his drink before reaching out to rub your arm. “You’re feeling better, I trust?”

“I am, thank you. I’m sorry again, for everything,” you mumble.

“I’m here for you. Just say the word. Now, let’s go greet everyone so we can leave early.”

You roll your eyes, allowing Newt to wrap an arm around your waist again as you reenter the party. “Try to be social for a while.”

He shrugs. “We’ll see.”

[thegloober]

How Parents Can Teach Boys to Deal With Rejection

Stories of men responding to rejection badly are an online literary staple, a genre of micro-nonfiction. Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook are piled high with brutal recollections. “When I turned a guy down for a 2nd date, he became angry, telling me he ‘knew’ I was into him,” @I_Am_StephanieD recently wrote on Twitter. “For the next 8 months, he showed up at my office and home repeatedly. Each time insisting he was ‘giving me a chance’ to change my mind [sic] bc I was ‘so stupid’ not to go out with him again.”

That’s far from the worst of it. “I was out at a concert with a friend,” an anonymous Tumblr user wrote in September. “Some guy approached me and started talking to me and trying to make advances; I tried to make it clear I wasn’t interested. He didn’t get the message so I blatantly told him I wasn’t. He got angry and punched me in the face.”

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The worst stories aren’t told in the first person. In August of this year, a 14-year-old boy from Oklahoma stabbed a girl after she rejected him romantically. In August, a Tennessee woman declined to give a man at the gas station her phone number, prompting him to jump on top of her car, punch through her window, and drag her out by her hair. In 2014, a Connecticut teen was sentenced to 25 years after stabbing his 16-year-old classmate to death after she rejected his prom proposal. In April of this year, a 25-year-old self-described “incel” by the name of Alek Minassian ran over a dozen women in Toronto, killing them all. He said he was inspired by Elliot Rodgers, another “incel” who perpetrated a mass shooting in 2014 to “get back at women who had rejected him.”

Data suggests parents of daughters should be scared. More than half of American women who are murdered are murdered by men. More than 90 percent of those are perpetrated by men that women already know, most commonly a current or former romantic partner. For women, men who know them are more dangerous than men who are strangers.

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That women are at risk of being murdered by the men in their lives is not news. But what often goes unstated is that those same statistics — and all these stories — should trigger action on the part of parents raising boys. Clearly, young men are failing to understand or cope with rejection. Giving them the tools to do so and demanding better not only protects girls and women from men, but men and boys from their own worst impulses.

Rejection is crushing. We all know this. And dealing with rejection is difficult. That’s why parents need to have (and re-have) conversations about weathering emotional blows and why it’s important to provide context for kids confused by messaging around rejection they might get from popular culture.

Part of this messaging comes from the commonly-held idea that women don’t know what they want, that no may mean yes, and that if a man tries hard enough, he can change a woman’s mind, either through persuasion, persistence, or downright deception. How many families have a story where persistence was a key trait in the getting together of two grandparents? And there are classic and well known examples of this like Say Anything, The Notebook, 10 Things I Hate About You, and Sixteen Candles. But even seemingly innocuous movies often teach weird lessons about rejection, potentially communicating to boys that women don’t get to have the final say.

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Wedding Crashers is a prime example. When Owen Wilson’s character, John, meets Claire, played by Rachel McAdams, he continues to make moves on her despite the fact that she is engaged to another man. He even goes so far as to poison her fiance (played by Bradley Cooper) to get time alone with her, all the while lying about his true identity. When, in a turn of events, Claire realizes she can’t marry her fiance, Cooper’s character then gets belligerent and angry and tries to order Claire back onto the altar. The entire movie is men acting about women, and not asking what women want, and somehow, despite engaging in the same nefarious and upsetting activities that Cooper’s character does, Wilson is the good guy.

So what’s a parent to do? The rather obvious and also correct answer is this: Talk about it.

“We can’t control everything, and we shouldn’t,” says Dr. Steve Silvestro, a pediatric doctor who runs an expert-driven podcast on raising healthy and thoughtful kids. “But by ignoring it, or by hoping that our kid won’t pay attention, or that your kid will stick to something you talked about in the past as their guiding principle, these open a lot of opportunities for their thoughts and feelings to be swayed in a way that probably isn’t the best for them.”

There are, per Silvestro, a couple of ways for parents to tackle this particular issue. The big one: time and time again, parents need to tell their boys one thing: if a woman rejects you, you respect her decision and you move on. You can be her friend, but you don’t have to be. You can cry if you want, but you don’t have to cry, and you don’t do it to make them feel bad. You can be upset, but that girl is not the focus of your upset. You are upset because you are hurt, because you put yourself out there — and that’s the bravest act of all. And you hammer that home with empathy.

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As conversations around masculinity are changing, long-held beliefs about male aggression have never been so hotly contested by the cultural zeitgeist at large. It is no longer culturally acceptable for men to behave poorly in response to rejection, either by ignoring the wishes of the women who rejected them or by responding with violence. In order to clearly state to those reluctant to change, the world at large, and specifically parents, need to change the way we talk about romance. Women are not sending secret messages with their words. They are simply saying what they want.

The pop cultural trope of men continually propositioning women after they’ve said no, or even following them and manipulating them into relationships, or being angry and vindictive after rejection, is rampant in rom-coms. It’s even rampant in popular music. Miguel’s How Many Drinks ft. Kendrick Lamar reads: “How many drinks would it take you to leave with me/Yeah you look good, and I got money/But I don’t wanna waste my time/Back of my mind, I’m hoping you say two or three.” The suggestion that the right amount of alcohol might lower a woman’s defenses and have her engage in sexual activity is problematic for a number of reasons, largely due to the fact that it suggests that consent is a blurred line, one that can be manipulated.

Most adults know that these tropes are not how real life goes. But kids don’t.

If parents listen to a Miguel song with their kid and it features a boy chasing a girl who keeps saying no, parents should ask their kid what they think about that. When they watch a rom-com that features a boy who is relentlessly pursuing a girl who is not interested, they should ask their son how they would feel if someone was doing that to them. These conversations shouldn’t only happen when a kid is already in trouble for doing something bad. They should be proactive, and constant. If the messages a kid gets from the boys around him and from the tv and the music and the radio say that reacting with violence is okay, then it’s a parent’s job to make sure their kids know it’s not.

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So why did this attitude take hold? Why, at any point, was male aggression normalized and even tacitly accepted to the point where it became a pop cultural norm? And what is there to do about it?

A study by University of Kansas researchers on male aggression in the face of female rejection posits a theory: Long ago, particularly in the American South, men had to protect themselves and their families from perceived economic and existential threats (the two often being interchangeable). A man in the South couldn’t let a thief steal his horses, not only on principle, but because they represented his family’s livelihood. The power and aggression of his defense was what made him a capable defender of his home, someone to be feared and someone worth the respect of his peers.

What emerged from a culture in which defensiveness was more valued than the ability to bind together a community? What researchers call Masculine Honor Culture, a social system in which men respond to any form of “emasculation” with aggression. The problem now is that we no longer live in a system where the ability to protect one’s home is more important than the ability to make friends and influence people. But culture has lagged. This leads to men profoundly overreacting to minor forms of perceived emasculation, notably romantic rejection.

Why a woman’s rejection is seen as emasculating is another question entirely. There’s not a clear answer there other than that it represents a manner in which men are not only told that they cannot have what they want, but are informed of this by women. This rankles those who see being bossed around by a woman — even one they admire — as a humiliation. That’s a significant population.

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The best thing parents can do is help their sons recognize that people reject others for a whole number of reasons; yes, maybe it is them, but it’s not because of their manhood. Or maybe it’s because they’re seeing someone else, or maybe it’s because they don’t want to date. Maybe it’s just because they don’t like their personality. But whatever the reason is, it doesn’t matter. That’s the whole point: what other people think of you is not what defines your worth. But a lot of men today — especially those who cling on to their sense of identity as something that must constantly be proved — haven’t understood that yet.

Parents have no choice but to help their boys understand this. Otherwise, sons’ sense of self-worth — and what it means to be a man — might lead to them equating rejection with inadequacy and not taking no to an answer. There are already enough stories like that being told by frightened women and myopic screenwriters. We don’t need any more.

Source: https://bloghyped.com/how-parents-can-teach-boys-to-deal-with-rejection/