#i talk about my hair too much but it really is kind of integral to my identity and presentation

[fruitmouse]

maybe one day he/she will make a comeback. just maybe

[would-they-listen-to-that]

How to Make a Self-Ship Playlist (when you're too afraid to ask)

hey there! you! yeah, you, lurking in the f/o tag, i see you. so you wanna make a self-ship playlist but don't know where to start? welcome to "would-they-listen-to-that" radio, ran by a self-shipping veteran! this post is a special request from an anonymous caller, so let's get into it! how do we make a self-ship playlist when we have zero idea what we're doing?

‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡ STEP ONE: BLORBO ROULETTE ‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡

The first step is to pick someone who catches your eye! Who's that fictional character lurking in the back of your mind? Who have you thought about snuggling with to distract yourself from the monotony of a three-hour geometry lecture? Whose tag did you take a "casual stroll" down last night? If you've got someone in mind from those questions alone, there's your target!

‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡ STEP TWO: DATING ‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡

No, not that kind of dating. I'm talking about historical dating! The time period your character comes from influences the music they listen to! Are they a vampire from the late 1980's? Try some early trad-goth bands and hair metal! Are they a magical girl from the early 2000's? Try some y2k girl groups and rnb! "But mod, what if my character is anachronistic, and their whole shtick is they act like a 1940's jazz singer yet they live in 2020?" If you somehow catapulted Ella Fitzgerald into the nowadays, don't be afraid to be anachronistic with your playlist! Billie Holiday can go right next to Billie Eilish!

‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡ STEP THREE: SOUNDING IT OUT ‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡

If your f/o has one, listen to their soundtrack for inspiration! What genres are present in their soundtrack? If they sing, in what style? What do they sing about? What kinds of music reflect their environment? If the character has any musical inclination or is a fan of certain musicians, take that into account! If your blorbo is a canon Weezer fan or sings along to Frank Sinatra, that gives a strong basis of what they listen to.

‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡ STEP FOUR: ULTRASOUND ‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡

That's right, you gotta look inside yourself. You're a character in this self-ship too. It takes two (at least) to tango! Find songs that are meaningful to you. What types of music do you enjoy? What songs do you believe are integral to your relationship with your blorbo? What songs describe your feelings towards them? If you have an enemies-to-lovers relationship, look into songs that have a similar theme. Don't be afraid to explore new music too! Who knows what you might find? There's always an opportunity to hear your new favorite song!

‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡ STEP FIVE: BE FREE ‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡

Seriously, cringe culture is dead. If it's not, I'm giving you and your f/o hammers so you can kill it. You're allowed to have fun with fiction. The FBI isn't gonna swarm your house because you wanted to give Batman a kiss. It sounds cheesy, but the first (and only step really) to making a self-ship playlist is to have fun and be yourself. You don't need to listen to this post! I'm not the be-all end-all of self-shipping! Whether you take my advice is totally up to you! There really are no wrong answers here!

If you made it this far into the yap session, thank you so much for reading! I hope this advice serves you well! If not, that's okay too! As always,

thanks for dialing in!

[fave-fix]

SANYA KAZARINA HAS A COMPLEX DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER, AND HERE'S WHY: a pafl analysis

point zero: definitions

im aware that my knowledge regarding cdds is above average. so, in an effort to avoid being like that one xkcd comic, i'll define the terms i use real quick.

complex dissociative disorder: abbreviated to cdd. an umbrella term that covers did, osdd, udd, and p-did.

dissociation: a mental disconnect, typically from reality. everybody dissociates to an extent - some less severe forms of it are zoning out, driving on autopilot, or getting really absorbed in a show you're watching. in cdds, the dissociation is at a maladaptive level.

alters: short for alternate self states. the dissociated parts of a person with a cdd.

point one: childhood

why do complex dissociative disorders form? it all comes down to stuff that happens in childhood, before the personality is fully integrated. experts disagree on the exact cutoff point [some say as low as 6 years old, others say as high as 12], but 9 is the typical agreed-on point. when somebody dissociates too much during childhood, it keeps their personality and identity from fully forming and integrating. this level of dissociation is almost always a result of childhood trauma.

sanya most certainly has childhood trauma. she grew up without a mother, her father died when she was six, her brother was overprotective, and other caregivers were nikita and kolya. she's also shown in canon to use fiction as a coping mechanism, which is a dissociative trauma response by nature. i don't think it's a reach to say that sanya likely relied on dissociation a lot through her childhood.

as a side note, one common risk factor for cdds is the disorganized attachment style. this attachment style forms when a child's caretakers are inconsistent and unpredictable. all things considered i think this matches sanya as well.

point two: dissociation

i just talked about sanya's dissociation during childhood - now it's time to talk about examples of her dissociation at the current time.

first off, sanya pretty clearly has a dissociative barrier around the concept of grief. what's a dissociative barrier? it's a mental "wall" that uses dissociation as the "bricks". it's the same thing that keeps people with cdds from remembering their trauma, or times when other alters were in front. with this dissociative barrier, sanya has separated herself from the painful emotions that will otherwise come when she loses someone.

another example of sanya's dissociation is in the beginning of 100 epitaphs, when she believes yura to be dead. at first she freaks out, but then she shuts down. this is pretty much textbook dissociation, imo.

point three: alters

i wanted to discuss this one later on because a lot of people tend to see cdds as just "alter disorders" and i wanted to point out some other aspects of the disorder first. that being said, though... sanya not being a singular person is kind of blatantly obvious.

the girl on the right is the sanya that we all know and love. the girl on the left? that... is not sanya. like pretty blatantly so. i'm gonna call her sasha, for ease of reading.

sasha and sanya are pretty clearly different, both visually and in terms of personality. i'll point out the differences.

sasha:

glasses

hair down

typically wearing that fuckass "just escaped gym class" fit from false disposition

seems to be less rebellious than sanya, is fine just staying inside and doing what sergei says

kind of a wimp

sanya:

contacts

ponytail

usually wearing her gopnik fit and has her tshirt sleeves rolled up

rebellious and aggresive, doesnt listen to sergei

not a wimp

they are different people within the same body who go by different names and even interact with each other mentally. they are literally alters

closing statement

[charlioak]

full reference for my fallout new vegas companion oc, oviedo! realized I never made him a ref, so I wanted to make his extra special <3

extra info below! (it's a lot)

Introductory Stuff! oviedo vasquez is an NCR ranger. he is stationed at the colorado cliffside at the order of the NCR, observing the legion through his rifle's scope. it is intended that the courier can meet oviedo while working the NCR questline, and can even elect him as a companion after completing his companion quest, MOON RIVER. oviedo can be swayed from the clutches of the NCR and into the courier's debt after the completion of his quest. he is a very faithful man, and very dangerous, too. he will stay by the courier's side unless they side with the legion, to which he will not tolerate them any longer. oviedo also has a long-lost daughter named cassandra; the last remnant of his past he desperately struggles to find. he doesn't talk much about her, nor his past... Personality Notes! oviedo is very blunt. he is standoffish at first and can be read as rude, but beneath that rough exterior is a very loyal, and very hurt, man.  the NCR has molded oviedo into a lethal sniper, thus he is potent with his weapon of choice and very resourceful out in the mojave. he's been with the NCR long enough to become a ranger. if you can stand his distance and periodic blunt insults, you'd find oviedo to be a very useful companion.  he cares about you. a lot. even if it seems like he doesn't. Character Design Notes! some notes on the Cool Dad Companion...... this info has been borrowed from his artfight profile, so some of the language is based around helping others draw him!

oviedo has four jagged scars on the right side of his face. they trail down his neck and stop before his collarbone

he has a golden upper-right canine

hairstyle can be played with! he often sports the mullet. the graying hair is integral

facial hair pretty much stays the same :]c

outfit generally stays the same. for a simpler approach, i'll just take off his hat, duster, and glasses.

lastly, but most importantly, oviedo is latino. please don't whitewash him!

BONUS: Companion Quest and Perk? Huh? MOON RIVER is oviedo's companion quest! working the NCR's questline, the courier can meet oviedo at his post by the colorado river. he'll ignore you until you mention you've been ordered to work with him, and he really cannot ignore his orders. the legion is planning an attack on the NCR encampment across the river - or so is the NCR's hunch. they need someone inconspicuous to retrieve proof of this hunch, and that someone is you, of course! totally not because oviedo wants to be left alone and so he sends you into the legion incognito, risking your life - nope, not at all! under oviedo's guidance and sniper protection, the quest is easily completed. the pair of you present your findings together afterwards. oviedo will then pull you aside and be honest with you, informing you of how you'd overcome his expectations and that he is in your favor. now you can travel together! the courier can also complete MOON RIVER without working the NCR questline. to do this, you can find oviedo at his post by the colorado river and pass a few incremental speech checks. if speech checks fail, the courier can persuade him with charms using the black widow or confirmed bachelor perks. oviedo is... kind of a hopeless romantic and likes praise. so yeah. HAHAH if the courier has a negative reputation with the NCR (i.e. legion build) then oviedo will shoot at you before you can get too close. just... instantly aggro'ed by scent I suppose? EYES OF THE HAWK is oviedo's companion perk. it is a VATS enhancement. while traveling with oviedo, you have increased VATS chances of 50% using a scoped weapon, or increased VATS chances of 30% using a non-scoped weapon. Trivia!

you made it this far. here, take this. (gives you oviedo... no quest needed!)

oviedo is bilingual! spanish is his first language :-)

he has a daughter named cassandra. she's 23.

you can take his hat!

you can take his sunglasses!

you can even take his gun!

if you place cigarettes in oviedo's inventory, he will scold you and not smoke them.

oviedo is terrified of fire geckos. he will run from them.

oviedo's dialogue gradually gets nicer the longer you two travel together! <3 awwwww!

[oopsiedaisiesbaby]

I know you usually write quite grounded stuff but what about a world where everyone has a little innate magic, even if most can't use it. And if someone wished hard enough, or was stressed enough, or did the wrong combinations of things and words, little changes could happen. Maybe you have blue hair for a while until a magical illness passes. Maybe you can only tell the truth until you say the right counter spell, or someone de-ages for a bit when they're feeling too stressed to think.

There are two scenarios that I think would work really, really well for this world:

1. One of the boys wakes up with a pussy

2. One of the boys wakes up with the urge to obey every command, even sarcastic ones. ( "Go fuck yourself" and "blow me" are quickly discovered)

Oooh I have never written anything with even a hint of fantasticalness to it… let’s do this 😍 Full disclosure… it’s the middle of the night and I’ve just finished a 6 hour drive, you’ve been warned 😘

1. Sorry not sorry, but Gale is waking up with a magical vagina and the only thing to cure it is getting dicked down. I know I’ve seen a fic like this in Hangster fandom, so apologies if there’s similarities, it’s wholly unintentional. Unedited rough draft beginning of a fic below… second half coming soon… just like Gale 😉

2. Notoriously allergic to authority John is definitely getting this curse because this would be such a comical way for him to find out how much he likes being bossed around by Gale. I really wanna write this too, fingers crossed my brain eventually cooperates!

To say that the war was stressful would be the grossest understatement of the century.

Even Gale, ice cold and forever calmer than the evening air before a storm, had been shaken by that first mission. However, he quickly learned how to lock it down and move forward like he did with everything else.

Stress was inconsequential and unnecessary to his existence. He wasn’t going to let it get in his way and end up with a spontaneous stress affect like Hambone who woke up with blue hair, or Crank who spent a whole day ribbiting like a frog every time he tried to talk.

Gale was above that kind of stress, knew how to get ahead of it or handle it when he couldn’t prevent it. Until he didn’t.

It took him an embarrassingly long time to realize something was off. He was always hyper aware of his body, it came with being a great pilot.

Gale was tired that morning though. Had flown back to back missions that had both gone horribly awry.

Made it all the way to the bathroom to pee before he realized something pretty integral to his person was missing as he went to grab his dick and wrapped his fist around air. He frowned, blinking down at his cock before realizing it wasn’t even there.

Panic seized him as he pressed his hand where his dick should have been and felt nothing but pubes and a flat surface. He let his fingers drift between his legs where his balls should have been and jolted as his rough fingertips parted soft skin and nudged up against something unbearably sensitive. He gasped, yanking his hand away from his apparent vagina and accidentally hit John’s arm where he was pissing in the urinal next to Gale.

“What the hell are you br-” John cut off suddenly, eyes going wide and lips parting in surprise as he noticed Gale’s lack of a penis almost immediately. “Gale, that’s - are you - wh- fuuuck.”

Gale shrugged helplessly, unable to answer any of John’s unasked questions. Nobody knew how or why spontaneous stress affects happened, they just did. The only cure was to lessen stress. Gale was a goddamned bomber pilot in the Second World War though.

He still needed to pee.

He shouldered into a stall, John following close behind him and standing in the way of Gale shutting the door behind him. Gale didn’t care, he sat on the toilet and started peeing, slumping in relief at the sudden release. He glanced up at John, unsurprised to see that his dick was still out.

“Can you put that away?” Gale asked, raising an eyebrow when John’s brow furrowed in confusion.

That’s all it seemed to take before John’s mouth dropped into an understanding “o” and he tucked himself back into his pants.

“We gotta get you to medical,” John insisted as he watched Gale figure out wiping after peeing.

“Absolutely not,” Gale bristled. No fucking way was he letting this particular spontaneous stresss affect get around base. His squadron would never follow an order again.

“Buck,” John started, like he had any room to be telling Gale how to handle his business after he goaded some RAF pilots into a fight just the night before. “I really -”

“No,” Gale snapped, his tone final. They were not going to tell a soul about this. “I just need to lower my stress and I’ll be fine.”

Except Gale woke up the next day with his magical vagina still very firmly in place. He shook his head at John’s raised eyebrow, ignoring his pointed look and went about his business.

As the days wore on, Gale’s irritation grew at every knowing, disappointed look John gave him. His frustration mounted each time he had to sit down to pee. He felt wretched every time his pants rode up and the seam of his pants pressed against him just right.

He was so sensitive physically as well as emotionally as the stress didn’t lessen, it just built and built into an itching, burning crescendo until he was snapping at Ken forcing everyone around them to freeze at just how out of character it was. John whistled before grabbing him by the shoulders, apologizing on his behalf and guiding him away from the scene he had just created.

“We have got to get a handle on this, Buck,” John insisted, rubbing his hands up and down Gale’s arms, over his jacket. “This has gone on long enough, don’t you think?”

Gale simply shrugged, determined to avoid ever having to actually talk about it.

“C’mon, Buck,” John urged. “We gotta get your stress down, and I know the most sure fire way to do it.”

Gale stopped in his tracks, whirling around on John, furious to find out he’d been withholding information from him. That’s when he noticed the filthy smirk on John’s lips.

Shoving him away, Gale stormed off tossing an, “Absolutely not,” over his shoulder only to receive a delighted cackle.

The dirty bastard.

Gale thought his rejection would be enough. He should’ve known John would test his limits like he was getting paid to do so though.

At the pub he leaned into Gale’s space and asked what it was like to get wet. In the officer’s mess, he leaned back in his chair and asked if Gale had tried fingering himself much to Gale and Jack’s chagrin.

It was when he asked what Gale thought about eating pussy one evening during a movie, his obscenely large tongue sliding out to sweep across his top lip suggestively, disturbing his mustache that had Gale squirming. Something between his legs tingled pleasantly and Gale could feel himself flushing. John’s teasing grin slipping into smirking awareness did nothing to quell the staticky interest buzzing through Gale’s belly and centralizing between his clenching thighs with slick interest.

“That’s it, baby?” John teased, tossing an arm behind Gale and leaning in real close. “You want someone to bury their face between those incredible thighs and eat you out until your legs are shaking, huh?”

It shouldn’t have been so hot. John was his best friend, John was just teasing him for getting himself such a ridiculous spontaneous stress affect. He was just so wound up though.

Gale cleared his throat, directing his attention back to the screen as he shifted in his seat, his underwear already sticking to him uncomfortably.

“Shit,” John cursed like he too was surprised by how affected Gale was. He pressed his forehead against Gale’s temple making Gale feel grateful they were in the back row. “Know you’d taste so sweet too, all hot and wet and needy.”

John groaned quietly and Gale felt the hot gust of his breath before John was pressing his mouth against the hinge of his jaw. This had already gone too far, he crossed his legs.

“No,” John pleaded, his hand shooting out to cup between Gale’s legs and press.

Gale gasped at the overwhelming pleasure as it pressed the seam of his pants, right up against where he needed it most. He tossed his head back against John’s arm that was still behind him, gasping up at the ceiling quietly.

“I would make it so good for you, baby,” John promised, rubbing his fingers against Gale through his pants and Gale fought back a moan at how sensitive he felt between his legs. “Make you come with my mouth first before slipping you a couple of fingers.”

The whispers were filthy and hot in Gale’s ear as he started to rock his hips against John’s hand. Electric shocks, jolting through him with each press. He nearly groaned with relief when John moved his hand to start unbuckling Gale’s belt and undoing his fly before slipping his hand inside of Gale’s skivvies. They both whimpered as John’s rough fingers slipped between his wet lips and started rubbing at his painfully swollen clit.

“God,” John moaned quietly against the skin of his jaw, mustache scraping Gale’s sensitive skin.

Gale let his eyes flutter closed, panting up at the ceiling as electricity built dangerously between his legs, ready to burst and strike out as John continued to move his fingers in tight, quick circles over his clit.

“Just know your pussy’s so fucking tight,” John told him, licking at the taught skin of his jaw. “Would probably hurt but I’d love it. Christ, wanna feel just how wet you are around my cock.”

Gale was embarrassingly soaked, the slick sound of John’s fingers rubbing at his clit was deafeningly loud in the limited space between them. Apparently it was loud enough to be heard outside of the space between them too.

“What the hell is wrong with you two?” Jack snapped, a look of horror pinching his face as he turned around in his seat to glare at them pointedly.

John unashamedly took his hand out of Gale’s pants and it nearly had Gale sobbing at the lack of release of the pressure built between his legs. Jack turned back around in his seat as Gale buttoned his pants back up and fixed his belt.

His pussy throbbed as he watched John slip his wet fingers into his mouth and suck lewdly. Gale was going to get them a weekend pass come he’ll or high water.

Part 2 coming to your screens soon 😘

[pandenewie]

RULE THREE: No Kissing (on the lips)

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“Dude, since when could you draw like that?”

The sudden question from Jake leaves Niki stunned for a second. What is he talking about? He hasn’t drawn anything serious since freshman year.

“Is it a self-portrait?” Sunoo asks, making Niki’s eyes widen. Did they find it? He spins around to see Jake and Sunoo looking intensely at an opened copy of The Promised Neverland. Niki had been rereading it recently and knew it was the perfect place to keep the drawing Y/n had given him… apparently, he was wrong.

“Stop snooping through my stuff.” Niki scowls, ripping the book from their grasp (careful not to crinkle the drawing.) “Woah, no need to get so pissy. It’s cool to see your art; you never draw anymore.” Jake says sincerely. “It’s not mine… Y/n drew it.” Niki mumbles, the mention of their name causing Jake and Sunoo to look at each other with a smirk. “Aww cute! He’s using it as a bookmark!” Sunoo gushes.

“You should invite them to come bowling with us this weekend!” Jake exclaims. “Why the hell would I do that? They’d be so uncomfortable.” Niki grumbles defensively. “No, they wouldn’t! Sunghoon’s bringing Gaeul, come on, it’ll be fun!” 

“He’s bringing his dog bowling?” Niki asks, disgusted.

“Not his dog, his girlfriend.”

“I still think that’s really weird by the way.” Sunoo chimes in. “That’s like Niki dating someone named Bisco. Or like you dating someone named Layla.”

“Okay, let’s not judge Hoon for his dating preferences. He’s bringing Gaeul so you should bring Y/n. It’s a great way to integrate them into the group!” Jake attempts to convince him. The thought of Y/n getting involved with his friend group terrifies Niki. The two of them could barely keep it together during lunch - how are they supposed to keep this act up for an entire evening? And if the relationship gets exposed as fake, Niki will never live it down.

On the other hand, he doesn’t want to seem like a possessive asshole who’s gatekeeping his relationship. The guys are already on the fence about whether it’s real or not, keeping Y/n hidden away could only add fuel to the flame.

“Okay… I’ll invite them. But I can’t promise they’ll show. And if you guys pull that same crap you did at lunch we’re leaving immediately.”

“Y/N!”

The sudden sound of their name being yelled through the halls cuts off Y/n’s conversation. Y/n turns to see Niki jogging up to their group. “Oh, hi Riki.” Y/n smiles, the mention of his real name causing the girls to look at each other with wide eyes. “Are you free this Saturday?” The question was unexpected and caused Y/n’s eyebrows to furrow with confusion. Noticing this, Niki elaborates: “My friends and I are going bowling and they told me to invite you… it’s all good if you’ve got plans since it’s kind of last minute but… I don't know, it’d be fun if you could come.” He rambles, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. Eunchae snorts slightly at the boy's out-of-character shyness, earning a glare from Y/n. “I’d love to go.” They smile, relief washing over Niki’s body as the words fall past their lips.

“You have the audacity to ask Y/n to go bowling and not invite us as well?” Eunchae asks, gesturing between herself and Danielle. “Well, did you want to come?” Niki asks. “No.” The girl shrugs simply. 

“Why would you get upset about me not asking if you were just going to reject me anyway?”

“It’s your punishment for not asking in the first place!”

"Okay, I think we should go before this escalates any further." Danielle interrupts, pulling Eunchae away from Niki. "Are you coming Y/n? Or are you two eating lunch together again?" She continues, her eyes darting to Niki. Y/n looks at Niki for confirmation, causing him to shake his head with a smile. "Go ahead, I've probably been stealing you too much recently… I'll see you this weekend, anyway." He says, ruffling Y/n's hair before turning around to find his friends.

As Y/n turns back to their friends, their eyes immediately roll at the expressions on their faces. "Don't you even start." Y/n warns, their words falling on deaf ears as the two girls begin to awe at the affection they just witnessed.

"That was so cute! He definitely has a crush on you." Danielle teases. "He definitely does not. We have a deal and real feelings are not a part of this." Y/n argues, earning a scoff from Eunchae. "If either of you think that you're gonna stick to whatever rules you planned, you're both much dumber than I thought," She says. "Now come on, I want to get to the vending machine before all the good stuff is gone."

Y/n doesn't go out a lot. Not in a weird way, they just happen to spend a lot of their time at home. And in the circumstances where they do leave the house, it is usually with the comfort of Danielle and Eunchae - not their fake boyfriend and his entire friend group.

"If you start to feel uncomfortable, just tell me and we'll leave, okay?" Niki asks. He had gone through the effort of picking Y/n up from their house (something Sunghoon has insisted all good boyfriends should do) and the two had caught the bus together to the bowling place.

"You don't have to worry about me, just have fun with your friends." Y/n reassures. Their words cause Niki to look at them with a deadpan expression. "Okay fine, I promise I'll tell you if I get uncomfortable." They add, earning an assertive nod from Niki.

As soon as Niki's friends are spotted, he grabs Y/n's hand tightly, leading them towards the group.

"So the lovebirds finally showed up, huh?" Heeseung teases, immediately earning a slap on the head from Jay. "Sorry about him, we're glad you could make it, Y/n." Jay says. “It’s okay… thanks for inviting me.” Y/n smiles politely before turning to the only member of the group they don’t recognise.

"I'm Gaeul, Sunghoon's girlfriend." The girl says, waving slightly. Y/n waves back before turning to Niki, their eyebrows furrowed ever-so-slightly. "Wait, didn't you say his dog was called-"

"Anyway, should we start bowling?" Niki asks, interrupting Y/n’s question. “Come on, let’s go pick our shoes!” He continues, dragging Y/n by the hand.

Since half the group has never gone bowling before, they decide it’s best to split into teams - with Niki, Y/n, Jungwon and Sunoo on one team and Heeseung, Jay, Jake, Sunghoon and Gaeul on another team. Juniors vs Seniors.

“I feel like these teams are a little uneven…” Jungwon points out, looking at the difference in skills between each team. “It’s fine, Sunghoon will bring them down.” Niki laughs, earning an offended scoff from Sunghoon. “Yah! Have you seen me bowl? Tell him, babe.” Sunghoon points, turning to Gaeul for reassurance. “Well… you can definitely hit some of the pins.” Gaeul replies sympathetically. “I’ll show you.” Sunghoon challenges, only making his friends laugh further at his competitiveness.

Y/n quickly finds that they suck at bowling. Niki, on the other hand, is practically a prodigy. He even joked at one point about putting the gutters up and using the kiddy ramp to “give them a fair shot”. His teasing only made Y/n even more determined to get a strike but at this rate, that won’t be happening any time soon.

“Come on, try it with this one.” Niki reassures, walking towards Y/n, a cherry red bowling ball perched carefully between his palms. “Isn’t that one heavier?” Y/n questions, attempting to take the ball from Niki’s grip. As soon as they get a taste of the weight, however, they immediately give it back to the ball. “Yeah, no. I’ll break my wrists trying to use that.” They laugh, patting Niki’s arm before walking to grab their regular ball.

“You can do it, Y/n!” Sunoo cheers. “Y/n, fighting!” Jungwon adds, making Y/n laugh as they get ready to bowl. Y/n gets into position, aiming as best they can before carefully rolling the ball down the lane - mustering as much power their body can handle.

Everyone watches eagerly as the bowling ball rolls slowly down the lane, starting to lean towards the left gutter as it goes along. “Come on, come on.” Niki please quietly, praying he has somehow gained telekinesis that can lure Y/n's ball back to the centre. Although that doesn't happen, the ball does somehow manage to keep out of the gutter, knocking down the far two pins before rolling off.

“I got something!” Y/n exclaims, jumping with excitement. Their team matches their enthusiasm, jumping out of their seats to cheer for their member. Niki runs towards Y/n without thinking, picking them up in a bone-crushing hug and spinning them around as if they've just scored the winning point.

“Yah! Let them hit the rest of them, you idiot!” Jay scolds playfully, a look of fondness present in his eyes. “Okay, if you get a strike I'm gonna throw you in the air.” Sunghoon says bitterly, making Gaeul laugh. “It’s not a competition, babe.” She says, patting his chest reassuringly. “It is now. I'm not gonna let some 17-year-old out-boyfriend me.” He scowls, only making her laugh more.

“Okay, okay, you can put me down now.” Y/n laughs, patting Niki’s shoulder as he lowers them back onto the ground. “You can do this.” Niki cheers quietly, pressing a chaste kiss to the top of Y/n’s head before walking back to his seat.

Y/n can’t do this. It's as if all their luck and bowling skills left their body the second those two pins hit the polished pine floorboards. They miss. By quite a long shot, as well. “Nice try, Y/n!” Jungwon exclaims. “If it makes you feel any better, Sunoo was making you guys lose anyway.” Jake says, attempting to reassure Y/n. “Uh, rude.” Sunoo scowls. “Come on Y/n, don’t let him turn us against each other.” He continues, shielding Y/n from Jake.

Eventually, the bowling comes to an end, with the seniors absolutely thrashing the younger team. No one expected a different outcome - the other team was far more experienced. Jungwon however, claimed that their team had better chemistry and therefore, they were the real winners.

“Niki, you need a ride?” Jay asks, twirling his car keys around his fingers. Niki turns to look at Y/n, unsure of what to do. “Go ahead, my bus is almost here, anyway.” Y/n smiles. Unsure, Niki turns back to Jay. “Nah, I’ve gotta make sure Y/n gets back.” His words cause the boys to break into a chorus of oohs, causing Niki to roll his eyes. “Uh… yeah, I don’t need a ride either. Gotta make sure Gaeul gets back safe.” Sunghoon coughs, causing the group to erupt into fits of laughter.

As the group splits up, Niki and Y/n begin walking to the bus stop. “You could’ve just gotten a ride, you know? I can get myself home.” Y/n mumbles. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I did that?” Niki scoffs, nudging his shoulder against theirs Y/n goes to remind him that he isn’t actually their boyfriend but for some reason, the words don’t come out.

The peaceful silence of the bus ride is suddenly cut short by a grumbling sound coming from Y/n’s stomach. The two pause to look at each other for a moment, both silently wondering whose stomach it was before their thinking is cut off by yet another growl.

“Sorry… I haven’t eaten much today.” Y/n mumbles, sheepishly, their words almost immediately being waved off by Niki. “It’s okay, we were a bit busy with bowling… did you want to get something to eat?” He asks. Y/n seems apprehensive at his words, looking up to check how far away their stop is. “There’s this really cool sushi place down the street from my house… my treat.” Niki adds, wiggling his eyebrows as he attempts to convince them.

Y/n would be a fool to pass up sushi. Free sushi, at that.

As soon as the sushi roll hit Y/n’s tongue, it was as if the taste had exploded in their mouth. Niki was right to recommend this place, the sushi is amazing. Y/n had largely underestimated how hungry they were.

“Slow down before you choke!” Niki laughs, reaching forward to hold Y/n’s chopsticks away from their face - waiting for them to finish their current mouthful before letting go. Y/n rolls their eyes, shoving another sushi roll between their lips.

“Did you have fun today?” Niki asks, digging into his meal. Although he had tried his best to keep his attention on Y/n throughout the day, being around the boys occasionally distracted him. Hopefully, Y/n didn’t feel ignored. Niki’s overthinking gets cut off by a wide grin from Y/n. “I did! The only people I really hang out with are Danielle and Eunchae… and I guess you, now. So it was fun to get to know new people and do something I haven’t done before… even if I ended up being really bad at bowling.” Y/n says, laughing slightly as they think back at their failed attempt at bowling. “That’s good, I was scared the guys were gonna say or do something and make things weird.” Niki sighs.

“I never really asked… why are your friends so obsessed with you being in a relationship, anyway?” Y/n asks, causing Niki’s eyebrows to furrow. “I don’t really know, I guess it’s because I’m the only one in the group who’s never been in one… unless you count the whole thing with Eunchae.” Y/n nods at Niki’s words. “Any particular reason?”

Niki doesn’t remember the last time someone asked about his love life in a way that wasn’t to tease him. “At first I just wasn’t that interested. I didn’t want to just date for the sake of dating and I was never put in the position where a relationship would naturally happen so I just… didn’t.” He shrugs, the words spilling from his lips a lot easier than he thought they would. Y/n smiles at this, almost like they completely understand what he means. “You say at first, what changed?” They ask sweetly.

The extra question causes a subtle blush to spread across Niki’s cheeks. He considers dodging the question and changing the topic but the way Y/n’s eyes sparkle with curiosity somehow tricks his brain into answering.

“Ah… it’s kinda dumb. Jake was in a relationship with a girl called Lily… you probably remember seeing them around school together.” Niki starts, earning a nod from Y/n. “Well, they were basically like… the it-couple in our friend group. Everyone else would date around, get together, break up but they were consistent. For a while, it felt like they were going to be together forever. And then one day, they were done. Nothing bad had happened, no one did or said anything, they just broke up. And that kind of freaked me out because… they were so in love, you know? And suddenly… they weren’t. I don’t want something like that happening to me.”

Y/n smiles understandingly at Niki as they take in his words. “That’s not dumb, love can be scary.” They agree. “Giving someone your heart and trusting them to not break it… I don’t know how people do it so carelessly.” Y/n admits. “Yeah… I think I’ll just be forever alone.” Niki mumbles, making Y/n snort. “We can be alone together.” They smile, causing Niki’s heart to flutter.

“How many times have I told you that you don’t have to walk me home?”

“Probably the same amount of times that I’ve told you I don’t care. You never know who or what is out here.”

“The chances of me getting attacked are very slim, Riki.”

“And with me, they’re nonexistent.”

Y/n rolls their eyes as their mini-argument subsides, letting Niki win this round. He smirks proudly, nudging Y/n’s shoulder slightly as a silent “I win” before shoving his hands in his pockets.

The pair, once again, find themselves standing outside Y/n’s house. Niki’s feet begin to drag slightly as they walk up the neatly stoned path, towards the front door. He doesn’t want them to go inside; doesn’t want the day to end just yet.

Y/n pauses, almost as if they can read his mind, and turns around to face Niki. “Today was really fun.” They smile. “You already told me that.” Niki teases, earning an eye roll in response. “Just telling you again… thanks for inviting me.”

Smiling, Niki ruffles Y/n’s hair. “You’re welcome. It was way more fun with you there.” Such a simple complement and yet Y/n still feels their face heat up at the words. “I should probably head inside…” Y/n mumbles, turning their head to look towards the door.

With Y/n turned away, Niki leans down to press a kiss against Y/n’s cheek. He’s always been pretty good at timing things but he can’t tell if this is impeccable timing or the worst case of bad luck. Y/n’s face turns just as his lips go to make contact, the feeling of their lips and not their cheek causing Niki’s eyes to widen in shock.

…

They just kissed…

Niki had his first kiss…

And it was with Y/n.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Y/n gasps, pulling away completely from Niki. They stare at each other for a moment, eyes wide as saucepans, before Niki coughs awkwardly. He turns away to look down the street as Y/n stares down at their feet.

“Oh, would you look at that, my bus is coming.” Niki lies. “Gotta run so I don’t miss it, I’ll see you at school.” He blurts out, turning and practically running back towards the street. Y/n moves just as quickly, rushing inside their house and slamming the door shut behind them.

…

What the hell just happened?

TAG LIST: @j-wyoung @thesassy-mia @luvistqrzzz @yourmyst4r @heerinnie @odisdad @wzy3ka @mrchweeee @rizzkisworld @beomsbeanie @ablackbtsstan @sweet-kisses-and-bloody-screams @kang-yeosangs-initials @wildflowermooon @k1ttylvr @pinapplefntacupss @luva1y @microwvdstrawb3rri3s @en-happiness @haechansbbg @ashiitex @nuttyenthusiastdaze @coolwitu

[dootznbootz]

Dootz what kinda clothes do you think penelope likes to wear? :) One of my fave parts abt writing is getting to describe clothes, i love everyones opinions on this

HOOOOOO I got a lot for this >:3

So like, "warning" I guess, but I fucking love the Mycenaean/Minoan look (both the women and the men look hot. All the gold and the pearls and the skirts and long AF hair) and so I never really imagine her with chitons and such. so that means that boobs are out but like, I'm not really gonna talk about it sexually ofc but just a warning :3

Getting the smaller "accessories" out of the way, I can see her loving jewelry and I plan to write her even loving to make her own with the other nymphs from shells and such. Loves earrings, hates bracelets (she breaks them from fidgeting too much), necklaces often but not all the time. And welp, the painted suns on her cheeks would probably smear and stuff with water too sooooo xD

Getting to her clothes, personally, I think Penelope's fashion sense means a LOT to her. Like Weaving is very integral to her, her character, and it's just something she genuinely enjoys so I love the idea of her being VERY particular of what she wears and can honestly be a bit "mean" and "snooty" about it. (Hubris is a flaw of her's as well. I have this snippet from a different wip of her being a bit snooty)

She's incredibly detailed, loves adding lil things to her skirts and outfits to paint a scene and pattern. It's one of the things that gets Athena's attention towards her when she's a young girl, after Athena takes her in at around 12-13, it becomes better and better and she's kind of a prodigy. Most of the time, despite loving detailed and fancy, she loves skirts that she can easily move in, so I can see her wearing minimum layers sometimes. Despite the Mycenaean/Minoan look, I can't see my Penelope enjoying Veils too much?? Or at the very least, not very often. Being naiadborn, and just needing to swim often, I think she'd get very annoyed by the extra "drag", (I also kind of love the idea of her being so happy to finally feel safe enough to BE unveiled after the suitors are dead. I love the idea of her being giddy to finally wear what she wants, HOW she wants afterward)

And funny enough, like, I mention the "Mycenaean/Minoan Boobs out" tops for the styles but I just can't see My Penny doing that? Not as a "modesty" and/or a "That's explicit! No!" thing as I have other women wear their dresses like that, I just think it's something that she just doesn't like. Not only is she flatchested but she likes being able to scuttle and run whenever she wants. I think it's like, something that when she got older and her outfits changed as she matured, that she tried it and was just like "...No.🙂". She still wears the split tops, just has it where it's only her sternum being shown. She wears thicker sashes around her waist to keep it in place and also to accentuate and compliment her figure, I guess kind of "nsfw-ish" but I write her having fairly large hips (she, too, has fine thighs 😤 I kind of love the idea of her being sneaky in every way, her thighs and hips being hidden under skirts = sneaky) so the sash has two purposes in a way. She kind of "engineers" her own outfits and such to fit her needs. :3 (her not wearing her breasts out is something the suitors are frustrated by and overhearing that pisses off the "Beggar")

That's mostly for her fancy clothes though. While it's convenient that she's of naiad descent and can take out stains somewhat easily, she can't wear fancy and intricate every day.

I have my Water Wife athletic so she does have her outfits she can just muck about in and scrap in. THAT'S where I have some later period short dresses/feminine tunics, as it's kind of hard to sprint and swim with such long and layered skirts. Mostly barefoot if she can help it (despite sandals, idk, she's definitely the gal who loves playing in the mud. she'll still wear them but you know)

Loves braids and such. I'm sadly not an artist (could become one, I know, I just honestly kind of don't like the feeling of drawing.) But I just know Penelope is particular about her fashion, probably even a bit of Odysseus' and Telemachus' fashion too. Not like dictating what they wear but helping them color coordinated lol

[philosophicalparadox]

Uchiha Head-canons pt. 2

A non exhaustive list of my favorite mostly old Uchiha HC’s from back before the manga was completed, and which still exist to me because canon never actually explicitly answered any of the questions:

The sharingan is a proper Divine Blessing/Curse, (somewhat confirmed by canon) in that it is borrowed power that has a somewhat separate Will of its own; it’s not exactly sentient, but it can respond to the emotional energy of its user independently of their conscious or logical desires, I.e. to defend them. Furthermore this is a large reason why the Uchiha face discrimination in the first place; when cornered or threatened, their eyes just do — there is no second guess or real conscience, their power will conjure up any visions of hell it so pleases to deter you from attacking or killing its host.

Secondary to this, since all sharingan can conjure Genjutsu, this is very typically the form in which defensive action takes place. It’s far worse if one has a mangekyou that specializes in it, like Itachi or Shisui, but ultimately all sharingan can and will react defensively by conjuring a Genjutsu.

Speaking of Shisui, one of my favorite HC’s about his name (meaning “still water/doldrum”) is that he got it for having been mistaken as stillborn. Dark, but suits him and his story just fine.

Itachi (meaning “weasel”) is named after Izuna (meaning “stoat”, and animal very like a weasel but tiny lol, they’re also called an ermine when they change colour in winter.)

As I’m sure many followers know by now, and as a repeat, I totally HC a strong prevalence of Autism in the Uchiha clan. It just explains so much.

On a related note (haha punny) I think it DOES in fact make sense for there to be an auspicious absence of anti-incest instinct in the Uchiha clan, because, yknow, it’s kind of integral to their continued existence. This theory gets a lot of crap from antis, but I’m not even a hard shipper really, I just think it suits the narrative implications. 🤷‍♀️

I don’t think I’ve seen this HC elsewhere but I’ve had it forever: awakening the sharingan too young is often fatal, AND there is such a thing as sharingan abilities too powerful for their user. Canon also sort of confirmed this later with Sasuke. But I’m talking like, a Mangekyou ability that will kill its host if they’re too young or too weak for it. Part and parcel of it being a supernatural power.

Speaking of narrative implications: Hyuuga and Uchiha blood don’t mix well. I personally like this explanation better than the whole vicious rivalry thing because that’s kind of counter to the whole founding point of Konoha???? So let there be an inciting cause: that for one reason or another, Hyuuga x Uchiha results in poor outcomes. Either it’s prone to rendering the offspring completely powerless, or it renders them too powerful for their own sake; either it results in most likely a Byakugan that’s un-turn-off-able, or it quite possibly results in a higher incidence of rinnegan, which might I remind you tends to kill its hosts.

Under similar pretense, Uchiha and Senju blood don’t particularly mix well either…except that they do, and that is precisely the problem. I’ve long HC’ed Kagami and Shisui as possessing Senju blood to explain their power differences. (And curly hair, maybe) Madara and Izuna too I wish to believe have Senju blood, perhaps more distantly, or else they’ve got Mystery Blood that’s not pure Uchiha. Which is deliberately very ironic lol.

As a final and very dark HC, the fact that Uchiha do canonically practice a form of selective breeding/eugenics means that the culls have to go somewhere. Given how valuable their genes are, as well as how very traditional, I imagine that they officially send their unwanted away to live better lives…which is to say that they might tell people that, and indeed some families probably did, but the real world historical precedent for this both in Japan and out has always been infanticide. 😢 I mean there’s also the precedent from families who didn’t agree with the practice, as I said, where they’d send their littles away, sometimes crippling them on purpose depending on why, (intentionally blinded Uchiha survivors, anybody?) which I also HC, but there is likely something of an unspoken assumption that kids who “just didn’t make it” were, in fact, murdered. The politics of this are interesting and very disturbing at the same time lol.

I’ll probably be back with round 3 at some point but for now have all the brainrot

[alienpossession]

"Ahahaha, yeah sir, just trying to keep up with the role, you know? As you said it yourself, cannot let other people know that I'm not myself any longer so I just play pretend being this straight Korean prick. Would've let you do anything you want to me if I know it was you from the get go, please, get in, you'll have so much more fun by being inside of me rather than going around as the little twink,"

After a while, I usually like to check out and test my various vessels which are spread across the globe. Aside from trying to know how well they integrate to human society, I find it amusing to toy around with their feelings and how easy their personality switched between their human persona and my dutiful vessels. It's also a way for me to test my power, like how well I could hide myself to be undetected by their senses which would indicate how well I could hide from other beings that might come to Earth and spoiled my fun. I find it handy to use Vince as my base body since he's loaded and despite claiming to be a very busy businessman when I first met him back then, most of his works are done by other people.

It left a lot of flexibility in his schedule so I simply head to the airport and his private jet ready to drop me anywhere I wished in a moment's notice. After I landed, I usually just dropped Vince's body in the hotel while I did my test, wearing temporary skins that my vessels wouldn't recognize as other vessels of mine and could keep me incognito. Here's what happened in the past few weeks

---

I just smirked as I quickly kneeled and get my tongue out ready to give that sweaty abs some licking it deserves. He's this close to bashed me to death, just like the real homophobic Seulgi would. I turned my incognito mode off and he directly stopped his fist a couple centimetres away from this cute university student's face I slid into earlier. Now, his fist turned into a lustful grab of my hair as he used it to rub me up and down his abs as if I'm some kind of washcloth. His lustful moan is as seductive as I remembered when I took him over in that Hongdae nightclub, and I couldn't help myself but squirted some loads into this university senior's pants while transferred myself to Seulgi through his navel

---

"Oh that was hilarious. I totally didn't see that coming. I really thought you are just one hell of an annoying new client I should endure jist because they could afford me. Totally sorry for being so hard and rude to you Sir,"

I simply smiled. Francis is a personal trainer, a succesful one at that, but I know he's not good with people that are not at least a decently-built individual yet. I slid into this fat fuck when he left Subway and I quickly devised the plot to tick Francis off. I bought some gym clothes to be in character, signed up to the gym where he worked at, asked....no....demanded to have him as my personal trainer and said all the things I know he hated. He's this close to lash out on me, I could tell, but just like the real Francis, he kept himself together. I also didn't find any flaws on the way he behaved like Francis so after about an hour, I turned my incognito mode off and he quickly realized it

"Well Sir, please just left that fat retard quickly and get into me Sir. That look doesn't fit you and I know he only drained you and made you out of breath. Please, it's been a while too since you get inside me,"

---

"Why would you do that, Sir? We are totally fool-proof, you don't have to test us. Is this random test or did you hear anything about us raising other people's suspicion? Now I feel bad for not welcoming you properly, you really played that role a bit too well to, I was this close to slap your face and called you names,"

"No no, you two are doing fine. This is just random test as I'm visiting Egypt anyway. And as for her, I just know you would hate her. Argumentative and loud gym girl that dared to talk back to you? Yeah, that's your trigger, just need to up the ante by disrespecting your mom and boy, I noticed that balled fist yo, I quickly shut off my incognito mode hahah!"

"We felt bad that you have to meet us this way. Maybe you want to slide into Farhan? You've went inside me during Mr. Olympia a couple months ago anyway, Farhan has been longing for you,"

"Well, I'm gonna do it from this chick's body so maybe let's search for somewhere private,"

---

"Master, sorry for being a bit direct but this is not an effective usage of your time. You have so many vessels, why fool around with the ruse?"

"Because I like to do it. And I can do it. Why are you the one questioning me now?"

"Sorry Master. It's just---"

"What?"

"Strip, and where's a bathroom? I need to fuck you with a mirror in sight so he can see that he's just a bottom bitch that lost thr ability to even control his own body and he's not going to influence you anymore even when I'm not inside you all the time. I will make him trapped so deep within his own mind, he wouldn't be able to leak through and influenced you any longer,"

---

"Certainly sir, everything I own belongs to you, including the bitch I'm going to visit. She's all yours. Heck, even if you want to fuck a white twink with my body, so be it, you do what you want with me and my schedule. I'm just so honored that you even bothered to come all the way down to South Africa for me,"

---

"What? Huh....I guess you played Romain a bit too well. Calm down a bit. Get hard. Fuck around more. Stop being so business-minded all the time. It gets annoying to see more of that guy surfaced you know. He's one tough cookie back when I eventually subdued him, turned out he remained tough up until now huh? Giving you a hard time to be loose and free while fooling all the people worked for him. Strip,"

"Oh wow, really? Fuck, I really am going to smash this whole thing with you inside of me during the competition. What a chance encounter this is. I really thought you were just an annoying fan and I only wasted my time here interacting with a fans, but turns out it pays off acting all nice and pretending like I'm this sweet All-American boy when you revealed yourself. Please, you can just jump right in sir, it's been a while since my navel welcomed you,"

[kaija-rayne-author]

Hugest of sighs.

I really hate it when I can feel a special interest dying.

It's like watching something you've loved and put your everything into for however long get smaller and smaller in the distance. Until it disappears in a puff of smoke.

I can feel it happening with Dragon Age.

It's actually managed to hang on for a long time, so I guess I should just... wish it a fond farewell and let it go.

I was going to write a less acid filled version of my editorial critique/review about the gameplay preview to send to the devs, but why?

I don't get the kind of interaction I need on posts like my Dragon Age posts to help me keep the special interest alive.

The devs aren't going to listen to some internet rando like me if I did waste my time writing it. Not even if I'm actually a professional editor and this is in fact my job that I'm pretty good at.

They don't even toss me a heart on responses to their posts. And they probably wouldn't read it even if it did happen to make it through all the stuff they probably get on their feeds, anyway. Valuable professional editorial critique or not.

Before I stepped way back from social media I could easily get thousands of @ in a day. I know what they must be dealing with.

I have other things I should really be spending my time on.

Sadly, my special interest in Dragon Age has been on life-support since I saw the gameplay preview.

My DA gaming group has gone from a couple hundred people, most of whom weren't active, to waaaaay more people than I'm comfortable being social with. (I have since muted most of it and withdrawn from anything I'm just... not interested in anymore.)

I honestly feel the new look for Solas killed Solas for me. (Given I'm solavellan that's saying one hell of a lot.) For a bit there, I was hoping he'd grow on me. But apparently, I haven't been inoculated with that particular style of virulent mould yet. So it hasn't happened. Every time I saw a picture I just... cared a little less.

Where once I had the fires of a volcano inside my heart for this franchise, nothing but ash in a breeze remains.

It's always possible that something could happen to reignite my passion for it. It's happened a few times before for faded special interests. It could also be my depression talking and I'll feel completely different tomorrow. That's happened too. (So far hasn't happened in the threeish days since I wrote this. It's probably not the depression.)

But... After seeing that gameplay preview, and listening to the Q&A, and reading the Game Informer post... it may just be time to call Time of Death. As someone who loved the first three, and who absolutely marinated myself in the lore, I frankly feel betrayed. (I mean... Varric with a beard? Really? There were story significant reasons he did not, in fact, wear a beard, did they forget that? Like they forgot his bloody hair colour?)

So long, Dragon Age. It was fun while it lasted.

I truly do hope people enjoy the blathering posts I did about it when passion filled me.

I hope people truly do enjoy the new game. There's too little joy in this world and I hope with all my heart it gives you as much joy as you can handle. I'm just a little sad it won't for me. I'll always have the first three, which I do legitimately love to pieces.

I'm not even crying or upset. I just... don't care anymore.

From a professional standpoint, that's always a danger when you change a piece of media too much. There has to be a certain amount of continuity to it so it feels the same. Without that?

You lose obsessed people like me.

You lose the older gamers who loved what Dragon Age was.

And absolutely, yes, fiction does need to change. It's an integral part of the whole thing. If it doesn't change, if it doesn't adapt, it dies just as quickly as if it changes too much. I like to see change in media. It's needed in so many ways. Change can be hard to adapt to, of course. Or in some cases impossible. Shrugs.

There's a professional balance to these things. It wouldn't surprise me if I have a bit of savantism when it comes to editing and writing. I just seem to deeply understand how it all works in ways others rarely see. Looking at a novel or a game or a show from an editorial perspective is very much like looking at a 4d puzzle for me. I can instinctively see what works and what doesn't.

It's just that, in my honest professional opinion, they tried to change way too much to appeal to a different set of gamers than those of us who are a little older and have loved the feel of the first three games.

It's not the change itself I object to. I'm definitely not one of those people who thinks that DAO was the best DA ever. I've loved them all for different reasons. But they all still felt like Dragon Age. Even DA2, which a lot of people hate, still felt like a fantasy RPGish adventure. (I enjoyed it for what it was. I'd've liked to see what it could've been with more time, but for what it was, they did a great job and it was an enjoyable game).

DA4? From what we've seen so far, it doesn't even remotely feel like a fantasy RPGish adventure game. It feels like a cheap star wars/FFXIV/Fortnite knockoff designed for a much different type of gamer. (Which was actually confirmed by Epler in the Q&A. They did, in fact, design it more for younger players than those of us who have been waiting for it for however long.) Professionally, I believe that was a mistake that may cost them.

The darkspawn alone are a bloody travesty. WTAF are those things? And yes, I've seen the 'lore excuse' that it's the red lyrium making them look like bad halloween deco. I'd buy it if they were kinda spiky and had red lyrium growths and stuff like the red lyrium infected creatures in DAI. But it's like they forgot their own canon.

I dunno. It really just doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure that no matter how beautiful the backgrounds and some of the art they've just... lost me.

I guess I write these kinds of posts so others in the same boat as me know they aren't alone.

You aren't imagining it. While change is in fact good and necessary to a certain extent, they've changed it so much trying to appeal to a different market that it really doesn't feel even remotely like Dragon Age anymore.

[bassettmemes]

A GUTS ASK MEME ISN'T A BAD IDEA, RIGHT? prompts from olivia rodrigo's sophomore album, guts (2023) — part 1/2. ↳ trigger warnings for mentions of alcohol, drugs, grooming, abusive relationships (mental/emotion, not physical), and car wrecks. some lines have been edited or omitted for clarity and comfort.

ALL-AMERICAN BITCH.

"I am light as a feather and as stiff as a board."

"I pay attention to things that most people ignore."

"I'm alright with the movies that make jokes 'bout senseless cruelty."

"I am built like a mother and a total machine."

"I feel for your every little issue, I know just what you mean."

"I make light of the darkness; I've got sun in my motherfuckin' pocket."

"I forgive and I forget."

"I know my age and I act like it."

"I got what you can't resist."

"I am light as a feather, I'm as fresh as the air."

"Coca-Cola bottles that I only use to curl my hair."

"I got class and integrity just like a goddamn Kennedy, I swear."

"I'm a perfect all-American bitch, with perfect all-American lips, and perfect all-American hips."

"I know my place, I know my place and this is it."

"I don't get angry when I'm pissed, I'm the eternal optimist."

"I scream inside to deal with it, like, "Ah"."

"I'm grateful all the time. I'm sexy and I'm kind. I'm pretty when I cry."

BAD IDEA, RIGHT?

"Haven't heard from you in a couple of months, but I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up."

"You're callin' my phone, you're all alone, and I'm sensing some undertone."

"I'm right here with all my friends, you're sending me your new address."

"I know we're done, I know we're through, but God, when I look at you, my brain goes, "Ah". Can't hear my thoughts."

"Seeing you tonight... It's a bad idea, right?"

"Fuck it, it's fine."

"Yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?"

"I only see him as a friend... The biggest lie I ever said."

"I only see him as a friend... I just tripped and fell into his bed."

"Now I'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans."

"I know I should stop, but I can't."

"I told my friends I was asleep, but I never said where or in whose sheets."

"And I pull up to your place on the second floor

"I'm sure I've seen much hotter men, but I really can't remember when."

VAMPIRE.

"Hate to give the satisfaction asking how you're doing now."

"How's the castle built off people you pretend to care about."

"Look at you, cool guy, you got it."

"I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes."

"Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise."

"I loved you truly; you gotta laugh at the stupidity."

"I've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine."

"I should've known it was strange, you only come out at night."

"I used to think I was smart, but you made me look so naïve."

"You sunk your teeth into me."

"Bloodsucker, famefucker, bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire."

"Every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news."

"You called them crazy. God I hate the way I called them crazy too."

"You're so convincing. How do you lie without flinching?"

"What a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked up little thrill."

"Can't figure out just how you do it and God knows I never will."

"Went for me and not her, 'cause girls your age know better."

"You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard? You can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart."

"I tried to help you out, now I know that I can't, 'cause how you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand."

LACY.

"[Name], oh, [Name], skin like puff pastry."

"Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of Hell?"

"Dear angel [Name], eyes white as daisies, did I ever tell you that I'm not doin' well?"

"Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time."

"It takes over my life, I see you everywhere, the sweetest torture one could bear."

"Smart, sexy [Name], I'm losin' it lately. I feel your compliments like bullets on skin."

"Dazzling starlet, Bardot reincarnate, well, aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?"

"Like ribbons in your hair, my stomach's all in knots. You got the one thing that I want."

"I try to rationalize, people are people, but, it's like you're made of angel dust."

"[Name], oh, [Name], it's like you're out to get me. You poison every little thing that I do."

"[Name], oh, [Name], I just loathe you lately."

"I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you. I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you."

BALLAD OF A HOMESCHOOLED GIRL.

"Cat got my tongue, and I don't think I get along with anyone."

"I'm on the outside of the greatest inside joke."

"I hate all my clothes. Feels like my skin doesn't fit right over my bones."

"I guess I should go. The party's done, and I'm no fun."

"I broke a glass, I tripped and fell. I told secrets I shouldn't tell

"I stumbled over all my words. I made it weird, I made it worse."

"I laughed at the wrong time, sat with the wrong guy."

"Searchin' "how to start a conversation?" on a website, like, how to flirt?"

"The morning after I panic, oh God, what did I say?"

MAKING THE BED.

"Want it, so I got it, did it, so it's done."

"Another thing I ruined, I used to do for fun."

"Another piece of plastic I could just throw away."

"Another conversation with nothing good to say. I thought it, so I said it, took it 'cause I can."

"Another day pretendin' I'm older than I am."

"Another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine."

"Another thing I forced to be a sign."

"Sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am, gettin' drunk at a club with my fair-weather friends."

"I push away all the people who know me the best, but it's me who's been makin' the bed."

"I'm so tired of bein' the girl that I am."

"Every good thing has turned into somethin' I dread."

"I'm playin' the victim so well in my head."

"But it's me who's been makin' the bed."

"Sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am, countin' all of the beautiful things I regret."

"And every night, I wake up from this one recurrin' dream, where I'm drivin' through the city, and the brakes go out on me."

"I can't stop at the red light, can't swerve off the road, I read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control."

"I tell someone I love them just as a distraction; They tell me that they love me like I'm some tourist attraction."

"They're changin' my machinery, and I just let it happen."

"I got the things I wanted, it's just not what I imagined."

[timperi-fan]

Hey 👋🏻

You said we could ask questions so I have two:

1. I think I saw something about deleted scenes or outtakes for ILITAYH after chapter 7. Is that still a thing/a possibility? 👀

2. Have you had anymore thoughts about the timcoswan fic idea? I totally don’t reread that post and it’s tags every other day haha, that’d be weird right???

Anyway, you’re doing amazing, im so excited for the next chapter of ILITAYH. Have an amazing day or night or afternoon.

1. I sure hope so! Fran and I have both been feeling a little burnt out (IRL stuff), so we haven't discussed ILITAYH too much. But the outtakes/scrapped ideas and side plots would be fun to talk about.

Here's a scene I jotted down that we never found a smooth way to integrate:

Fran is so good at keeping the pacing consistent and the narrative from becoming too crowded. She's seriously amazing at knowing when to cut or add something 🥺 We have plenty of ideas that we both really enjoy, but ultimately set aside because including them would weaken the cohesiveness of ILITAYH's story. Fran is such a good writer, it's crazy 💕

2. TimCosWan lives in my head at all hours of the day. (Fran in particular has been big on the TimWan/Mama's boy Timmy train, haha.)

Here's a little snippet from what we have written so far:

This one has been slow going because Fran is interested in the build-up, and I'm more interested in the sex part. (Ironically, the opposite of how we feel about ILITAYH!)

I just keep thinking about Timmy thinking he's unwanted. Timmy with a chip on his shoulder and cracks in his heart that he's desperate to mend. Timmy bringing him women with pink hair and dumb tall guys because he feels drawn to people like that but he can't place why. Timmy having nights of passion because every time he tries for something more, it's not right.

Timmy being sandwiched between his two kind neighbors — the neighbors who gave him tea and snacks when he was drafting up contracts, the neighbors who never judged him for bringing home drunken flings but instead always made sure he got inside safely if he was too drunk to even unlock his front door, the neighbors who love each other so much that he kind of hates them for it but they want to share that love with him, too, and he can't tell why, doesn't understand why they'd waste their time with a mess like him.

Timmy inside of Wanda with Cosmo inside of him, being held from behind and in front, soft hands brushing his hair back, Wanda's lips on his neck, Cosmo murmuring lovely words into his shoulder — things like, "We love you so much," or "You're doing amazing," or "You look so beautiful." Things that can't possibly be true, but God, does Timmy want them to be, and he sobs as he's rocked between them, "I love you, I love you, I love you—" And it's so easy to say, it feels like he's been saying it his whole life. It feels like he's whole for the first time that he can remember. It feels like home.

*ahem*

Uh, y'know. Normal thoughts.

[shsl-box-worshipper]

So, I was rewatching the first How To Train Your Dragon movie and my mind immediately drifted to Code Lyoko (cuz of course it does), which led me to think of an interesting AU.

Code Lyoko, but set in a modern day How To Train Your Dragon setting. (Click the read more for more information about the AU cuz ohhhh boi, I infodumped hard)

Dragons are a world-wide species of animals that have learned to mostly (keyword: mostly) co-exist with humans thanks to the efforts of various cultures around the world thousands of years ago and modern preservation efforts.

Nowadays, they are viewed the same way as hawks, horses, and other useful pets: Popular and useful, but can be hard to train and can even be deadly.

Various characters in Code Lyoko actually have dragons as pets, most notably Odd since Kiwi is a Terrible Terror in this AU (And yes, it is even more of a pain for Ulrich to deal with).

Dragons, similarly to dogs and cats, aren't allowed at Kadic, but Kadic does have some dragon-related classes, a specific area on campus for them (since its kind of hard to separate tamed dragons from their owners), and some dragon lessons are integrated into otherwise normal classes.

Plot-wise, Franz, Anthea, and Aelita all had dragons. Anthea's was taken when she was kidnapped, and Aelita's got virtualized onto Lyoko along with her and Franz (there's a specific chamber in the scanner room specifically for dragons because Franz knew Aelita wouldn't leave her dragon behind no matter how hard he tried to convince her otherwise).

Franz's dragon, a battered-looking Night Fury whom he rescued from Project Carthage and who he named Odin, was instructed to stand guard of the Supercomputer and by extension, the factory as a whole.

One of the main difficulties Jeremie had to face while getting into the Factory to look for scrap initially was trying to avoid and hide from this lumbering, giant Night Fury that is the sole reason behind the Factory's ghost stories and that he had NO IDEA ABOUT.

When Jeremie finally turns on the supercomputer, he is greeted not only by an amnesiac pink-haired elf lady but is also met with a much younger and more spotted Night Fury, that wears armor that looks like if a cross between a viking and a knight, and is ALSO an amnesiac (I imagine that Lyoko will create virtual forms of any kind of creature that has some sort of consciousness, not just humans. Since dragons in the How To Train Your Dragon franchise are shown to be somewhat intelligent, I imagine that they could have more thorough and cohesive Lyoko forms than those of like, a fly).

Jeremie initially calls the Night Fury 'Spot' (Because it's covered in white patches compared to Franz's Night Fury, which just has a white patch on it's belly), but Aelita gets both her name and the name of the Night Fury back during the end of XANA Awakens, where it's revealed to be Tannlos (The Norwegian translation of Toothless, since the story of Hiccup and Toothless is considered a Nordic legend in the modern day and, like in canon, Franz liked reading Norse myths and legends to Aelita when she was a kid).

Tannlos, similarly to Aelita, lacks some of the necessary components needed to devirtualize or have any attacks (Yes, his breath weapon is gone on Lyoko and he can't even use it in the real world).

He's also really small, just large enough to have Aelita on his back and run with her, but too small to properly fly with her (he can still fly just fine tho without the extra weight).

As such, he mainly just acts as a method of ground transportation for Aelita and as a scout on Lyoko.

On that note, I guess I should talk about the other characters.

I've already talked about Odd having a Terrible Terror as a pet. He similarly tries to keep hidden from Jim, though it fails much more since a Terrible Terror is higher maintenance than a dog.

Ulrich's dad works as an executive at a company that researches dragons to develop various kinds of tech and his mom used to be a trainer in her youth. Since his family has to work with them frequently, Ulrich knows some basic techniques on dealing with dragons, despite his (initial) dislike of them.

Jeremie, conversely, has no skills regarding them, and his family doesn't own any, in fact. His survival against the Factory Night Fury is based on his own ingenuity, intelligence, and the basic tips he haggled out of Ulrich. He eventually manages to bond with the Factory Night Fury during XANA Awakens and it helps defend the factory against XANA attacks.

Yumi's family doesn't have any dragons and the Ishiyamas have a strict no pets rule along with that. However, Yumi is friends with a Monstrous Nightmare that lives in the woods, who she named Ryoji so that Yumi can talk about her openly in front of her parents. Yumi even lets Hiroki play with her since she effectively has tamed the dragon, despite not owning it legally.

A lot more of this AU has to deal with worldbuilding and how a modern society with actual dragons would work, as well as how dragons could both work with and against XANA's attacks. But I don't know if anyone is interested in this kind of stuff.

[fabledresources]

𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐆𝐔𝐓𝐒 ; part 1 of 4 total prompt collections pulled from olivia rodrigo's latest album, guts. some lyrics might have been tweaked just a bit so they flow better, but otherwise remain unchanged. feel free to adjust however necessary!

𝐀𝐋𝐋-𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇

i am light as a feather, i'm as stiff as a board.

i pay attention to things that most people ignore.

i'm alright with the movies that make jokes about senseless cruelty.

i am built like a mother and a total machine.

i feel for your every little issue.

i know just what you mean.

i make light of the darkness.

i've got sun in my motherfuckin' pocket, best believe.

i forgive, and i forget.

i know my age, and i act like it.

got what you can't resist.

i am light as a feather, i'm as fresh as the air.

coca-cola bottles that i only use to curl my hair.

i got class and integrity just like a goddamn kennedy.

i'm a perfect all-american bitch.

i know my place.

i know my place, and this is it.

i don't get angry when i'm pissed.

i'm the eternal optimist.

i scream inside to deal with it.

i'm grateful all the time

i'm sexy, and i'm kind.

i'm pretty when i cry.

𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀, 𝐑𝐈��𝐇𝐓?

haven't heard from you in a couple of months.

i'm out right now and i'm all fucked up.

you're callin' my phone and you're all alone.

and i'm sensing some undertone.

i'm right here with all my friends.

you're sending me your new address.

i know we're done, i know we're through.

god, when i look at you…

can't hear my thoughts.

i should probably not.

seeing you tonight… it's a bad idea, right?

fuck it, it's fine.

yes, i know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

i only see him as a friend.

the biggest lie i ever said.

i only see him as a friend, i just tripped and fell into his bed.

i'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans.

i know i should stop... but i can't.

i told my friends i was asleep.

i never said where or in whose sheets.

i'm sure i've seen much hotter men, but i really can't remember when.

𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄

hate to give the satisfaction of asking how you're doing now.

how's the castle built off people you pretend to care about?

look at you, cool guy, you got it.

i see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when i close my eyes.

six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise.

i loved you truly.

you gotta laugh at the stupidity.

i've made some real big mistakes.

i've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine

i should've known it was strange.

you only come out at night.

i used to think i was smart.

you made me look so naive.

you sold me for parts.

you sunk your teeth into me.

bleedin' me dry like a goddamn vampire.

every girl i ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news

you called them crazy, god, i hate the way i called them crazy too.

you're so convincing.

how do you lie without flinching?

how do you lie?

what a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked up little thrill.

can't figure out just how you do it, and god knows i never will.

girls your age know better

you said it was true love.

you can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart.

i tried to help you out, now i know that i can't.

how you think's the kind of thing i'll never understand.

𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐘

aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?

did i ever tell you that i’m not doing well?

like perfume that you wear, i linger all the time.

it takes over my life, i see you everywhere.

the sweetest torture one could bear.

i'm losin’ it lately.

i feel your compliments likе bullets on skin.

well, aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?

it's like you're out to get me.

you poison every little thing that i do.

i just loathe you lately.

i despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you.

i despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you.

[blankvort]

you've probably answered something like this but favourite songs from the stage show and i want details, GO‼️

pezberrywhoreee i cannot even begin to describe the dearth of times i have answered anything related to mean girls and the amount of times i have internally cried and screamed wanting to interrupt a conversation to talk about mean girls. i say that god is dead but you are doing his work right here. putting this under a read more because you said details and this became a study of why every song in the stage show is better than opioids and thin mints combined <333 no articulacy here just 8000+ words of vibes and ranting

first of all if cady sings a single line i am violently shoving every note of the song into a mental folder called faves in such eldritch fonts that my brain computer is halfway to summoning cthulhu whenever it loads the soundtrack. she is described as the heart of the story on the backstage casting call page for a reason and that reason is her absolutely incredible range as she struts from the plucky guitar gyrations and membranophone-focused percussion of it roars into the candid, confiding, crescendoing (and other c words you can probably guess based on the verbiage i use in dms) keys of stupid with love and then climb the vocal volcano that is apex predator and akfjskhfidbdihgshejfhiajw i love her and i love her songs and i need to shut up now i’m sorry

second (but not really because i’m still going on and on about cady i’m sorry) i’m upset abt most other productions burying cady’s fourth-wall breaks and kind of making the segue into revenge party less. i don’t know riled up?? because 1) where did my girl janis’s influence go it is so much more impactful when cady’s main reason for going along with the revenge plot and pushing it further is hearing about janis being outed from janis herself! when her main motivator becomes aaron, who she likes super superficially by the time more is better rolls around, you think wow! what a bitch! for even longer! like you don’t even have to cut the “your hair looks sexy pushed back”/”are his eyes gray or green” conversation that prods her into sending gretchen over the edge this isn’t a time issue 2) where did cady’s brain go bring me a whole box of profound regret and impulsive decisions let the people in the back hear the hows and whys of her descent into plastichood and moreover i would like her to sing more and most of all i love it when characters break the fourth wall. by that i mean i want the “sounds kind of bad right to spy on someone but they’re the first friends i’ve had and i don’t want to have none” things back because the narrative nudity and the way it follows the melody of the verses in fearless is a+++

now. my legitimate favorite songs from the stage show in chronological order

a cautionary tale: the repartee the art freaks have is elite and so are their riffs. The lyrics are 3am notes app poetry lines and that’s an amazing thing for mean girls. It’s not the typical broadway opening number but it’s rough and brash and brilliant. To me the cast of mean girls strikes the perfect balance between caricature and lived-in character and the insouciance of this song towards seriousness reflects that wonderfully. Janis assuming the worst of everyone by saying that the temptation to be popular and hot is far too great and saying that you can’t buy integrity at the mall is some nice, if blatant, foreshadowing regarding cady losing her integrity as she gets caught up in the perilous biome of shopping centers with such dangerous patrons as build-dat-bear. The last line of the chorus abruptly changing the amount of beats in the measure adds an extra kick layout fosse quality that i love too. The ending is the apotheosis of mezzo-soprano/tenor harmonization. Need both janis and damian to step on me but for different reasons. No i will not elaborate

it roars: i have a soft spot for wild life but it roars is superior in every way to me because it introduces cady, the show’s sense of humor, the cast’s incredible skill when it comes to singing and dancing (seriously i had never seen an ensemble that made me want to be ensemble before mean girls), and the perfect transition from a cautionary tale will always get me hyped. i have many thoughts about the many changes the mg script and score have gone through throughout the years but oh my god my jaw dropped at the breathtaking belting of “i have danced with the maasai, i have climbed kilimanjaro” when i first heard it mashed up with it roars and the callback the verse gets in fearless 2.0(?) totally dislocated it. Also i know that it’s a pairing so unpopular it’s basically nonexistent but hear me out when i say that it roars is just a more optimistic, afrobeat inspired version of what’s wrong with me. Cady never seems to think that it’s the student body that needs to change, she thinks she needs to fight and win to belong just as gretchen thinks she needs to serve the most powerful person in school to be deserving of… idk anything?? Of course you cannot trust me on this because i will ship cady with anyone if you give me the chance. Writing cady/the marymount girl fanfic as we speak

it roars is the first indicator that musical cady is pretty different from movie cady in that she earnestly wants to go to the us, wants to have more/better friends, wants to try high school and skateboards and rapping and starbucks venti chai. which makes sense because you know you gotta have that sick i want song so characters feel less tossed about and more thrusting into. there’s a better way to word that but i don’t have the skull size to summon a less immature dictionary right now. a curious thing about it roars, though, is that kenya, being a country and all, has high school and skateboards and rapping. no starbucks because apparently rwanda was an easier location to settle into but that’s a good thing actually nobody should support starbucks. either way you can really see that cady’s been sheltered from the realities of any society past the stone age and idolizes this incredibly abstract view of friends and people. she’s equal parts desperate and determined, artless and acute. it’s ironic, i feel that at first her speech patterns (lions and birds and stuff) seem at odds with her sub-saharan surroundings as though she’s already trying to integrate herself with this slangy teenage culture she knows nothing about and then when she finally finds herself in slangy teenage culture she compares everything to the survival-based rules of the savannah. i know this is probably for streamlining purposes but it’s also so interesting to me that her immediate reaction to her parents’ funding being cut is wow adventure wow possibilities. she knows that everybody wants connection but she doesn’t yet know why connection has to be culled by all these arbitrary rules like fashion or acting cool. like i don’t remember where i read this but some novel said that the only thing worse than being smart is being smart and sensitive because then neither the logical nor emotional explanations for any event can make sense. i swear i will find that book someday to take a photo but today i am bedridden because i walked the five or so inches from home to the grocery store

back to it roars. i hate the grammar in the line “none of my closest friends even has hands” but i love everything else about the song. the beat is so bouncy and the ostinati of the wind and brass sections are top tier. the comedic beats are underscored by cutting the music and then the vocals come back in soaring alongside the strongest bass since george perry and i could die happy if hospitals changed the flatline noise to any cady singing “so exhilarating”.

two paragraphs and we’re still going strong dead god help me. personally i feel like the best delivery of the ensemble lines have to be as obnoxious and deafening as humanly possible but i get people who feel differently. it’s just really great to me when cady is polite and confused and very presumptuous and sonja aquino’s actively going through act two of the exorcist in real time. i think that’s why danielle wade is my cady of choice too. love it when autism: the song is put through the epiglottic funnel of anxiety. also i’m wiping tears right now about the fact cady refers to phones as little screens in her first act one song and in the act two opener she’s glued to her phone because she wants attention so badly and still doesn’t feel like she has enough even though she talks about how america and the plastics are so much more than what she’s used to. Also very interesting that cady views inclusion as a game that needs to be won (and eventually comes to view baleful adoration as winning) even though she later exhibits a sort of survival of the fittest mentality that shows up as early as her mention of baboons attacking those that go near their pack. Fun fact i think her takeover of the plastics mirrors dispersal in male baboons wherein mature male baboons leave the pack they were born into to find another troop to temporarily stay in and usually if they end up replacing the alpha male of that non-natal troop they commit infanticide because then he can reproduce with the alpha male’s old mate/s. That’s not super fun but it is a fact to me. but i’ll talk about the strange views musical cady heron seems to hold about winning more in my do this thing essay which i am definitely going to write despite my best efforts to make this post under five thousand words

gonna slide the it roars reprise in here too because it’s not on the soundtrack but it still makes me feel things. “i’m sixteen just like everyone here but not like everyone here” and what if i said mean girls is the best dissection of the torturous dichotomy between being desperate to belong and being desperate to be unique. There’s a thing called theatrical exaggeration but for mental health purposes i choose to believe that north shore class of x immediately clocked cady as a weirdo utterly undeserving of trust or respect when they saw her wear socks and sandals. I know i just complained about people calling every iteration of cady boring but i feel like i haven’t seen actual hate for musical cady (at least not as much slander as i’ve seen sent to og movie and especially movie musical cady) because you can better bear witness to her most vulnerable moments when she’s singing directly at you instead of saying things in a soundproof recording studio. She’s not quitting she’s regrouping! Which is a fascinating choice of words to me because regrouping in math is basically carrying over values because they’re too much. She gets sucked into this idea that more is better even though she has to compartmentalize the information she’s learned from hostile classmates and teachers and draw connections to her experience with animals because more is not better without proper management. Also this bitch is gonna get e coli if the janitors don’t care enough to clean the slut-shaming graffiti on the wall they are not wiping down those cubicle doors

where do you belong: i love gay people. “so what if all the ducklings think you’re ugly it’s because they’ve never seen a swan” is ted talk worthy material. never getting over the fact that damian knew this girl for all of maybe one introductory french class’s worth of interaction, accused her of doing drugs, and then built her confidence back up from the seventh circle of hell. the “your mother called you baby girl?” “singing!” exchange is peak best friend banter and showcases the art freaks’ dynamic of frank, funny jerk with a tarnished heart of gold and budding broadway babe with a shocking amount of wisdom obscured by hilarity and hypocrisy. the debate team rejected damian because he was too fabulous to be deigned to one oregon-oxford role i’ve decided. i love unreliable narrators and damian shooing cady away from the mathletes as soon as she shows the barest interest in them is an entertaining way of showing that nobody in this story is free from social norms. the lunch tray percussion is something all marching bands should adopt and so are the lighting cues. janis’s reactions to damian killing his dance breaks are the best. rachel hamilton is my fave ensemble student i don’t care if she gets maybe two or three lines total.  she was giving bombastic side eyes before anyone knew the word bombastic. i desperately need to know if she knew what cady was actually saying or if she thought cady was just a lion king stan asking to be canceled. damian painting everyone but his two-person clique as problematic is also peak teenage behavior. everything at that age is just finding the lesser of two evils and figuring out whether or not you want to meet the bigger evil anyways. janis deriding “the geeks and the freaks” despite being labeled as an art freak by every mg promo is also amusing and barrett and mary-kate’s deliveries of “christian believers” could send me to heaven any day they want. the ending is so satisfying to listen to and even more satisfying to watch. also i do mean it when i say that cady was adopted by the local gays in this number. are janis and damian aware that having their own table in a school that makes juniors and seniors have lunch at the same time makes them more powerful than all the politicians of the globe combined

stupid with love: ALSKAJLDJASLDAJLLKJ. stupid with love is the best musical representation of how a crush driven by hormones and being treated with the barest sense of humor and dignity can devour a person taylor swift eat your heart out. the music really sweeps you up into this story like you’re a close friend privy to even her most embarrassing thoughts and the way her love life flashing before her eyes just shuts out whatever aaron was going to say about lebron james is the funniest thing because yeah! you can be convinced you’re totally in love with someone when you’re that age while ignoring everything that makes them a well-rounded human being! the way cady’s clearly grown up in a caring household that’s so chock full of trust that her parents can’t fathom that she’d do anything remotely dangerous while having the whole house to herself for more than one hour BUT also feels like she doesn’t “get” love is super interesting to me to like most sixteen-year-olds have the idea that their parents don’t understand them sure but has she come to the conclusion that familial love isn’t enough? that she doesn’t get enough familial love anyways? that love is unknowable? does she wholeheartedly believe that she fell in love at age five? stupid with love is a song of so many possibilities and it’s as giddy and delusional as you’d expect, every emotion heightened by cady’s new brand of eloquence. fetch may never happen but calculust absolutely should. the little snippets of dialogue in between are so endearing on both cady and aaron’s ends to the point where i can forgive ms norbury clearly not knowing how to conduct a class. who’s gonna tell cady to raise her hand before she answers. i’m kidding she can do whatever she wants, even ignore the existence of multiplication. multiplication is a bitch cady i get it

we once again see that cady is determined almost to the point of self-destruction and that she’s desperate to live a ‘normal’ life by getting together with the normalest boy of all time and the song so perfectly sets up why we should care about cady and aaron as a couple–he’s the only person thus far to not even suggest what she should think/do, encouraging her in a teasing way to be herself (ie smart) instead of telling her to be dumber so he can feel better about himself. cadaaron is the only straight ship ever argue with the wall. also the instrumental on its own is literally such a bop?? i’d drop a grand piano on myself daily if the keys could just perpetually play the song. quoth my own blog my heart belongs to every video out there of a cady opting up on the last “i learned math so i can learn love” it just fits so well thematically and makes the song even more satisfying because it makes you think yes!! summon that girlfailure swag and learn love. also this song is so next to me from twihard: a new musical coded with the pencils and/or feet providing the musical pulse. this is me very subtly begging you to listen to twihard: a new musical as put on by the esoteric ensemble productions and uploaded like a full decade ago starring danielle wade 

apex predator: i love women. i love bon jovi. i love zoology. this song was made for me tina fey told me herself. i can even forgive whoever made halls rhyme with dolls because of the regina furry confirmation. the first few chords kind of give me jaws theme vibes. it’s grinding and warning and doused in grit. you get the brightness of cady’s other songs cut with the flinty, darker strings of janis’s numbers. the heavy drum sort of sounds like a heartbeat, quickening as cady realizes the might of the pride and considers how regina’s help compares to janis’s in an almost clinical manner. shout out to erika henningsen’s “exotic pet” obviously. that line should be studied by every ivy league with a literary program because regina and cady considering the other an exotic pet instead of a real friend but still seeking each other’s approval……. maybe the narrative foils are really reflections of my tin foil hat but hear me out. it’s so interesting that they refer to regina as an apex predator because apex predators are animals without natural enemies but almost every single friend or admirer of regina’s exhibits an envious kind of awe when it comes to regina. regina’s so magnetic that you can’t be her enemy but close enough to pseudo-celebrity that you can’t exactly be her friend either. also the harmony at the end combined with the epic percussion deserves its own award. no longer does egot mean anything. One must be an egota (emmy grammy oscar tony apex predator singer) to be considered showbiz royalty

stupid with love (reprise): cady is so so smart and so so stupid. aaron getting confused at a genuine compliment not solely based on his looks is adorable but i also love it when the line delivery gets changed to be more like “wow i already know i’m cool but it’s nice to hear it from the cute possibly murderous girl who sits behind me”. same goes for cady’s “shit” right after aaron swears off dating–it’s funny as hell whether she’s smiling through the pain or so disappointed in herself she looks like she’s experiencing medical shock. her making love into a function is similarly messed up but funny as hell. i literally have a google drive folder full of audio clips of the “i just don’t get it–i’ll never get it–i just don’t get it–somehow…” part it’s so serious

sexy: this is modern feminism talking i expect to run the world in shoes i cannot walk in - the greatest mind of our generation karen smith. if the national emergency alarm was changed to the ending riff i would become an arsonist just to hear it over and over again. a youtube commenter said that she sings every line like she’s waiting to be shown the script and redo it and whenever acting and singing can waltz along in magnificence together i sob in joy even if that waltz is set to trashy pop. literally every costume shown is worthy of fashion week and then some. the sex doctor bit is beyond saturday night live. sexy rosa parks deserves the world. modern feminism is a mess but at least it built the last verse of this incredible song.

someone gets hurt: regina pretending to cry and aaron being confused again and then being manipulated into a makeout session is so so funny. so terrible but so funny. the incredible blare of noise after that first “until someone gets hurt” feels like being pushed off a cliff and into a sea of warning sirens which feels fitting. if any song from the stage show were to be played by a chamber orchestra i would want it to be someone gets hurt because everything about it is almost four seasons by vivaldi to me. as i said do not expect sensible comparisons from this review. it’s really dark and intense like all of regina’s numbers but this time her style of seduction is on full display, highlighted by some heavy timpani work and a male ensemble that’s carrying more than just regina on their backs holy cow. squidward would worship regina with how she made the bass clarinet sultry despite hitting something in the high fs during each “hurt” and holding that “go” for like five seconds. the ending is giving celine dion’s villain arc. it’s also maybe the first time the audience sees aaron through the eyes of anyone other than cady who’s so starstruck she might as well be blind and we see a guy who’s still susceptible to regina’s yknow reginaness. she guilt trips him about his potential infatuation with his body and then gets extremely touchy with him while wearing a playboy bunny costume. she asks if she was a game he wanted to play despite (maybe devoid of remorse) playing him just to get back at cady. she’s making so much shit up because peeling away too many layers of her perfection would be dangerous but so would losing aaron to cady’s actual openness. first she says “fine” to mean that she’ll be fine without aaron in the reverse psychology sense, then they say “fine” to mean that they’re both hot af, then he says “fine” to agree to get back with regina and possibly to convince himself that his interest in cady can and should be pushed aside because being with regina is better for them both. love this song. hate being unable to sing a single note of it.

revenge party: my overall fave song of the obc album, the stage show, and the movie musical. words alone cannot describe the excitement that electrocutes my nerves when i hear “now you know, caddy—” because everything from that line onwards is going to be stuck in my head for at least a week. some people can’t function until their first cup of coffee in the morning, i can’t function until my first listen of revenge party. in slight relation to that gretchen’s squawking will make me spit out any drink; such has been scientifically proven over the course of several years. i actually have a line-by-line analysis of revenge party drafted so i won’t go into detail right now because i need viewer retention but i mean it when i say art freak harmonization is the best kind.

whose house is this: if kevin g has one fan it is me. let the man rap even if half his lyrics don’t make sense. i have heard the big fun from heathers comparisons. i have heard the halloween from be more chill comparisons. all of them are so incorrect i could set several houses ablaze with the rage i feel at the very suggestion that whose house is this isn’t a masterpiece. no joke this is the first song on my workout playlist. the way nobody even cares about cady in this number is hilarious and so is kevin refusing to swear. gretchen deserves all the thank yous and so does the horns section. karen’s actions are just. Absurd as they always should be. the mario kart ass instrumentals during that “turn the freaking music up” segment make me pleasantly stressed. there are traces of jungle techno but little to no traces of cady’s signature sound and the usually lax but articulate and expressive rhyme scheme of her songs switching to frenzied verses full of immaturity and inconsideration makes me feel things that should not be felt while listening to a rave number with flatulent bass.

more is better: the only romantic duet to ever exist if you ask me. the fact that cady switches from the more sincerity-charged love to like most likely because the plastics’ philosophy is to be cool about things makes me want to bite the bars of alcatraz prisons. the way cady’s signature sound only really returns after aaron chooses to leave her because she’s become regina 2.0 without even acknowledging it is the stuff of emotionally resonant legend. as i said in my aaron review post the only thing that bothers me about this number is aaron kissing cady while she’s clearly drunk and he isn’t but cady kind of gets him back after do this thing so. yay equality. aaron’s so tired of being manipulated and told to shut up i feel so bad for him. cady’s so in denial about missing her old home in any capacity and being uncomfortable with the skin she’s tried to grow into for aaron’s sake and i feel so bad for her. the shimmering sound that comes with cady singing “stars” makes me feel better though. 11/10 would be sad again. say no to excessive air conditioning and light pollution

someone gets hurt (reprise): i like it when gays have bad breakups without even dating. what more do you want. but actually i am obsessed with the way this is blocked out because the way the chaos of cady’s house gradates into the dark street where there’s nothing but her and her crumbling friendships. the link between janis and regina is really reinforced by this song and it makes me feel insane.

world burn: the only way regina can redeem herself for wearing a black turtleneck and black pants is by slaying so hard you forget she’s just printing shit and polluting the corridors and she does it in world burn. her having a recurring set of notes to follow until she absolutely loses it is iconic. i learned so much about hernia formation through this song so i think it’s also an educational heritage site. the contrast of her 1984-esque lyrics and beats with lines like “trang pak is a grotsky byotch” is beyond hilarious but in the context of the show it makes my timbers shiver. she is both manipulated and the master manipulator. renee rapp’s opt up for the ending is golden but every regina brings their own flair and intensity to it. something that really interests me is how different actresses interpret the lines “this is what i get for helping / helping someone lame fit in” because to generalize regina either thinks she was actually helping cady or is trying to convince herself/the audience that her primary motivator was controlling cady’s every action before she got too hot to ignore or because she saw her hanging around janis and damian or because regina can’t ask a girl out like a normal person. idk it’s very fun and very satisfying to listen to and ramps up the ante for all antagonistic songs ever!

i’d rather be me: did you mean the feminist anthem of the twenty-first century? i’d rather be me is pure janis in her sort of jumpy, edgy, eleven o’clock exasperated glory tuned to this effusive fusion of pop and rock. the energy this has is soooo good because every girl in school is tired of being treated like shit because of the expectations placed on them by society and the idea that by i’d rather be me the female student body of north shore is so exhausted of the plastics’ bs that they parade janis around despite shunning her for years is amazing. most criticisms of this are abt how wordy it is or how it’s not worded right but hello janis is a teenager her inner and outer monologue is not going to be as mature as fucking grizabella the glamor cat and it can include words that anyone would study for the sats like sycophant. sycophant is not that fancy a word i learned the word sycophant from a star wars fanfiction i read when i was seven how could you not know the word sycophant at age seven squared after making a living out of reviewing shows written by wordsmiths like sondheim. sorry that was mean i’m just tired of people either going “they wouldn’t talk like that they’re teenagers” or “they shouldn’t talk like that they’re part of a theatrical production worth millions of dollars!” lmao

ok so i think that janis was losing herself just as much as cady over the course of the revenge plot taking place because okay she’s ruined regina but she’s barely changed anything about herself and if her plan had worked without hitches wtf was she going to do. was she going to keep hanging out with cady. was she going to fill the power vacuum left by the plastics herself. was she going to run regina over with a bus herself. i’d rather be me is the culmination of the crushing pillars of her revenge plot and the full realization that revenge wasn’t what she wanted–she wanted to change the way the world works, change it into a place where people can just do and be without being ostracized. to me the instrumentals and the mockery in the lyrics are almost stinging?? someone with even could describe this better than me but the strings during the instrumental section between verses remind me of a mosquito bite because they’re high and sharp and put against the heavy drums and cymbal crashes they really paint this picture of a dam of anger breaking and giving way to a new wash of awareness. 

also i cannot stand it when ppl say this song is the show giving endorsement to janis being a hypocrite there is a reason why all the lyrics are in future tense. she is wrapping her mind around the notion that there is no pleasing everyone, that there is no true gratification gained by holding grudges and letting them control your every thought, that if you don’t let yourself have the liberty of lashing out you’re only going to manifest your maliciousness in worse ways with longer-lasting effects. that being said let girls be haters

also the obc album should’ve let janis swear. every public performance of i’d rather be me should let janis swear. let her have a line with bite before her throat turns into a cavern where vowels go to melt into a singular solution

also janis’s costumes over the course of the whole show are amazing but her look in i’d rather be me goes so hard. if i had any of janis’s jackets i think i’d curl into it like a cocoon and wait until the heat death of the universe for metamorphosis into coolness

do this thing: no joke this is the second song on my workout playlist. i hate the title so much but i love also the audience reaction when ms norbury starts singing as if she didn’t just slay the what’s wrong with me reprise gets me every time. truly the actresses in the adult women track are so underappreciated and so are the adult women in general. kevin g’s unabashed doing of the thing regardless of the haters is iconic. the return of the heavy percussion is so enjoyable and so are the mathletes’ lines lining up with the steaming kettle sound somehow behind each buzzer even though i hate buzzers because in real life mathletes nobody wants to answer on beat. ms norbury best matchmaker ever i LOVED the detail of aaron being present for the mathletes’ win but cady clearly focusing on the competition above all else. i’m pretty sure the mathletes are also the only characters to drop an f-bomb in a song which is just fantastic + the gretchen/regina parallel between kevin and marwan regarding schquillz is phenomenal. “the limit does not exist” being both the answer to the question that signifies cady’s return to her old self with more self-assurance and the theme of the musical in terms of not limiting other people is a level of genius i will never reach.

i see stars: i’m sorry they gave cady a big finale where she calls everyone beautiful and bright and holds hands with the other girls she’s hurt and you expect me to not love it?? this one had to grow on me though because i was so bothered about the stars imagery coming up maybe like five songs before when we’d been following animals and math for the whole show. as we all know characters can only have one or two interests before they become completely incoherent. but now i know more about light pollution and have played the video of this song with the pride chorus more times than i’ve blinked so i get it. shane oman also breaking his crown during the escalation of the instrumentals from a very optimistic but singular combo of strings and cymbals into the violins and heavier drums and whatever else is such a good detail. i still get goosebumps with that “you stars” there is just so much emotion packed into this finale and the rest of the ensemble joining in is as effective as onions being cut directly into my eyes when it comes to crying. obviously my fave version of this is the one with cady and janis’s mini duet during the rhinestones don’t shine part but guaranteed this one will make me cry no matter what

now. for the songs that didn’t make it onto my absolute fave list they are still my children just bastard ones and i will go into detail about them too because there is no point in writing this post if it does not crash the tumblr dashboard for you

a cautionary tale (reprise): akin to its origins, the reprise of a cautionary tale kicking off act two is there to introduce the act, but unlike its first iteration, the reprise is literally just there. no jokes no nothing. would love to see it reworked into something that reminds the audience they’re north shore freshmen being told this story by janis and damian because i forget about that framing device until the dialogue break in i see stars every time lmao but other than that it’s serviceable and any song that involves art freak harmonization is a solid song

meet the plastics: maybe i don’t love women as much as i claim to. I don’t know why i don’t like this song more truly. Maybe i just need to listen to it more lmao because the lyrics are great, the tempo changing with each introduction is great, and gretch waiting until regina’s out of earshot to try and convert cady into a fetch truther is great. Maybe it’s the “humps my leg like a chihuahua” line that turned me off from it because nell benjamin i do not care that you wrote legally blonde i do not think regina george would bring up animal humping imagery considering what her mother puts her through unless she was hopped up on pain meds. All that being said i would die for the polyphony at the end and karen playing with cady’s hair near the end is so cute

what’s wrong with me: gretchen it’s not you it’s me and i like songs with a specific sort of climax and what’s wrong with me really does feel like a music box piece played by some dusty not-quite-antique you find in the attic that makes you feel a particular, peculiar strain of melancholy because it’s so cyclical and fragile. which is the point, probably! It just sounds really different from the rest of the show and i feel like the lyrics don’t quite fit the language we’ve heard gretch using so far but maybe that’s also part of the point. That being said the line “see that you see what’s wrong with me” makes me go mad because there are so many ways to interpret it. Is she telling the audience that they should be able to see what’s wrong with her? Is she saying that the audience sees something good in regina that she can’t see anymore because of her constant mistreatment? Is she once again asking what’s wrong with her or has she finally had a breakthrough about her dismal self-esteem?

fearless: oh my god a cady song and act ender that i’m not totally into sound the sirens. but really fearless without the revisitation of the it roars/wild life passage that tells the audience what makes her fearless aside from wanting to move to america (which might make her more fearless than i thought now i sound that out but still) isn’t my favorite songs despite it having some of my favorite moments like karen’s ribbon dance, gretchen’s very cool dance, cady mirroring regina’s pose on top of the cafeteria table at the start of meet the plastics at the end, the mini someone gets hurt reprise at the end, it isn’t my favorite to listen to because the lyrics are just all over the place. Cady why are you saying that she’ll go cry to mama do you think mrs george is sober enough for that. Cady why are you spouting live love laugh merchandise ass quotes. Cady why are you quoting dwayne the rock johnson “imagine stronger, better, bolder” are you going to play a lacrosse game against regina. Why does karen not wear more vests after this number

You know what made me care about fearless?? The fearless reprise. Oh my god the fearless reprise. I need to make a separate post about the fearless reprise but i can’t listen to it more than once a day or i’ll end up crying for hours on end.  

stop: is it homophobic of me to put three damian songs on this list? probably but i make up for it by filling that broadway cares bucket every time i can. and it’s not that i even really dislike stop!! I have so many thoughts about stop!! i just don’t like it when compared to the other songs that can hold up inside and outside the context of the show!! i just feel like it has to be experienced live to understand its award-losing enormity unlike where do you belong and even then it sounds noticeably different from the rest of the show + essentially pauses the narrative to talk about a whole other story that never gets resolved outside of damian being ghosted (i thought theater was supposed to provide escapism 😔) and then frays a bunch of threads out from the ensemble in a way that doesn’t feel quite as well sewn in as the worship we see during apex predator or after rockin’ around the pole because like. it’s funny sure but just the act before we saw that things can be funny while also moving the story along past attempting to hammer in the message “stop ignoring your real friends” in cady’s thickened-by-makeup head. 

also how does damian even know about her word vomit. cady barely even word vomits in the stage show. it’s all just word coughing fits of confusion and unintentional comedy under peer pressure. whenever she says something embarrassing she either gets cut off or turns it into a whole song. i’m sorry damian i love you and your stupid straw hat but we just saw the whole show we don’t need a recap of everything that happened in the last hour with almost zero internal rhymes and without the frantic pacing of ya got trouble from the music man. cmon.

onto things i love about stop tho which are a) the gaiety (and gay-ty) b) the dancing and c) the staging. i love it when gay characters just get to be silly goofy instead of singing themselves to their graves and even if damian was built off the dramatic thespian homostereotype he gives me the impression of a silly goofy teen trying to balance the interests of his best friends with his sanity through the medium he’s most comfortable in which happens to be literally show-stopping song-and-dance number. also we get cadnis content in the background and the choreo i’ve seen for how janis plays keep away with cady’s phone only gets better (which of course is a synonym for gayer. let the babies hold hands before they yell at each other in the street and see a 15-second death they’re both sort of kind of responsible for). the dancing of course is wonderful. i mean does it make sense in-story for damian to somehow be popular enough with the ladies to rally them into a giant dance break after asking them to divulge their biggest, darkest secrets like an hour after being kicked out of the girls’ bathroom and calling one of them danny devito? probably not. is it really enjoyable when you aren’t itching to get back to the main story? yes. it also makes north shore feel more authentic in a sense?? obviously there’s so much about the social hierarchy exaggerated for comedic effect but yeah public high school is that crazy one day you’ll hear that a classmate got into a drunk driving accident and the next you’ll hear that the same classmate scored an audition for the x factor. and the transition from the art classroom, which is one of my fave sets in the whole show because aghhhh i want to pause everything and analyze art whenever it comes up in a tv show or movie or video game or musical because it’s almost never just art present for the sake of filling the set! there’s a reason why the set designers put that there or downloaded that asset or whatever! based on the official yt video in stop we see a sort of cubist portrait of janis ian, a few monochrome figure studies, and some more abstract pieces and i so want to know what this number would’ve looked like in-universe. did cady legit just run out of class to confront damian and get swept into a gay tea spilling session until the end of the day. be glad you got suspended girl

so. while i cannot begin to fathom the stamina it takes for damian to go from that gorgeous dance break into the grand vocal ending—philip doesnt know what he’s missing out on for sure—stop is not something i play on purpose but if the obc album shuffles to it i won’t complain!

what’s wrong with me (reprise): is it homophobic of me to put every gretchen song sans whose house is this on this list? probably but again it’s just not something i can put on repeat/a number i think depends on the production to arouse much entertainment value. it’s fucking hilarious though i’ll give it that. like it might be in the top three of mg songs when it comes to unadulterated comedy. my heart breaks when gretchen realises she’s stuck in this cycle of servitude and is still being hurt by the people she most desires the approval of and her work is still going unappreciated and then i get a heart attack from laughing because regina’s reign of terror is so absolute even her own mother has feared her from the age of three onwards?? in addition to that what’s wrong with me reprise is why i cannot stand for mrs george hate she’s just a girl too. a toxic girl who never emotionally developed past high school but like. what do you want her to do. she has never had a heartfelt conversation with her daughter ever. also “why couldn’t it just be drugs” is so funny to me because yknow. reggie gets hit by a bus and spends the rest of the show so high she forgets her love languages are acts of slanderous service, passive-aggressive gifts, weaponized physical touch, quality time spent playing hard to get, and words of refutation. taylor louderman deserved a tony for pulling the kalteen bar scream off every night too i think it’s night queen aria levels of difficulty.

the funniest part of this song to me is probably the way it starts and ends so abruptly. usually you can tell when a song’s about to start in a musical but gretchen nearly breaking down into sobs as soon as cady turns her non-self-tanned back without missing a beat is both relatable and hysterical. my girl is clinging to les mis motifs and middle school herd mentality in a world meant for fosse tributes. the spotlight is only on her when she talks about how dim her light feels in comparison to other characters. then mrs george joins in and you get the first female/female duet to rival defying gravity since idk. everything in fun home. i take cash and credit not criticism.

but really the gretchen/mrs george connection is so interesting because they tether themselves to regina in a style that’s irreconcilable with happiness on either end and they know that but possibly for a mix of selfish and sympathetic reasons don’t want to leave in any capacity. the way they’re separated on stage by little more than a change in colored lighting is interesting too and raises the question of whether or not they’re aware that regina’s sun is burning those closest to her in general.

also. can plastic cady snap and yell at me i want to feel something

in conclusion i love you pezberrywhoreee thank you for asking this. i think i said the words “also” and “but” more times than i said the word “gay” and that’s a real hurdle to fly over. i think i expect many random things in your inbox hereafter as retribution/reward depending on how you see it

[thezombieprostitute]

Tutoring

A/N: Written for @the-slumberparty​ this is my fourth entry for the Bingo card combining “college AU” and “bodyguard AU” (though I’m kinda cheesing it on the “college AU” part). Reader has no physical descriptions.

Warnings: School stress, implied kidnapping. This story is about 1700 words!

“Hi there, you must be Peter. I’m Y/N and I’ll be your literature tutor.” You shake the hand of the young man in front of you. He seemed so small but that was likely a combination of his seemingly shy nature and his giant bodyguard next to him. You’d been warned before agreeing to tutor Peter that his father, Tony Stark, was quite protective of him and he’d have a security detail. Your only requirement was that the bodyguard did not interfere with the tutoring. 

“Hi Y/N,” Peter shook your hand back, “thanks, again, for agreeing to this. I really have no idea what I’m doing with literature. I’m more of a math and science brain. Oh, and this is my bodyguard for the day, Ari.”

“Nice to meet you, too, Ari,” you extend your hand. He quickly shakes your hand, completely covering yours with his, before getting back into lookout mode. “And I understand what you mean, Peter. Today is going to be a sort of Session Zero, where we talk out your assignments, possible ideas and goals, and make sure we can actually work well together. Sound good?”

He nods ascent and you guide him to the library’s study room you had reserved. You’re glad he agreed to meet at your university’s library, you had some friends here who would look out for you and knew your signals if you needed a call for help. Tutoring was great practice for your education degree and the money was good enough but you knew to make safety a priority. 

The two of you get settled in the study room while Ari sets himself up a chair that puts himself between Peter and the door. He’s so massive you’re glad you reserved one of the larger study rooms. You’re definitely not worried about him interrupting the tutoring; he’s very much all business.

Your session with Peter goes very well. You work out a way to get his math and science interests integrated into the literature project with Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. 

“Why that one,” Peter asks.

“Fun fact, Lewis Carroll’s writings are still studied by Logicians. It’s not just word play or fantastical things in this book, there’s also plays on logic and mathematical references.”

Peter’s eyes go wide, “you’re kidding me!”

“Nope, and I think that you can do this project, literature analysis, whatever you want to call it, by looking at Alice’s Adventures through the lens of a mathematician or logician. Just please, please, please make sure to talk to your teacher about this. I’d hate for us to get almost done with everything only for them to say, ‘that’s not what I wanted.’ Okay?”

“Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, I’ll make sure to ask her at class on Monday.”

“And if she doesn’t give you a response right away, please do email her. Get some kind of paper trail going so she can’t say you never got hold of her. I’ve had bad experiences like this before.”

“Sure thing!” 

“I think this was a very successful Session Zero, Peter. What say we do this again next week?” Peter nods enthusiastically as you both pack up your things. “And thank you, Ari. I’ve had people promise to not interfere with sessions only to end up being nothing but an annoyance.” He nods and gives you a smile so charming you feel yourself almost melting.

Next week’s session you meet up with Peter at the study room but he’s not with Ari. 

“Hi Y/N! This is another of my bodyguards, James,” Peter is quick to explain. “Security detail gets switched up every now and then.”

You stand up and go to shake James’s hand, “well, as long as you also agree to not interrupt today’s session, we should get along just fine.” James nods his head and returns your handshake before moving between Peter and the door. He’s big and tall like Ari, but with short hair and light stubble where Ari had longer hair and full beard. James doesn’t take a seat and just stands there, seemingly not looking at anything. You look back and forth between him and Peter with a confused expression and Peter whispers, “he’s kinda hardcore on protection. Doesn’t believe in sitting while on duty.” You nod as though you understand but you can’t imagine opting to stand all day when chairs are available.

“Well, let’s get to it then,” you smile at Peter. “Did you get approval from your teacher on this?”

“She said she’d have to get back to me so I followed your advice and emailed her. Just to be safe.”

“Good call. So, where would you like to begin today’s session?”

After some time of discussing various passages that Peter had problems with he sighed and said, “I sometimes feel like I’m just not meant to understand literature. I tried reading things like The Hobbit, a kids book, and I couldn’t even get into it.”

“Neither could I the first several times I tried to read it,” you confessed. Out of the corner of your eye you could swear you saw James fidget. “And it took me a really long time to figure out why. It was Tolkien’s style of world-building.”

“Yeah,” Peter began, “like taking five pages to describe a door, right?”

“Actually, no.” Again, your attention is drawn to movement from where James is standing, but you continue with Peter. “You see, part of Tolkien’s world-building is including names, poems and songs ‘of old’ that are meant to tell the reader ‘this is an old world with lore and history.’ But for readers like me, and possibly you, it felt like I was starting a series with the fourth book and I had missed out on some required reading. I felt as though the names were people I was supposed to already know. It wasn’t until I read The Silmarillion that things really started to fall in place for me.”

“That makes a lot of sense,” Peter commented. “A lot of times literature feels like I’m missing pieces of the puzzle for the story to make sense, for me to see why it’s such a ‘classic’ or why it’s important.”

“Something to consider, if you’re up for it, is learning about the time period the book was written in. Not when it’s set in, because those aren’t always the same, but when it was written. It can really help explain a lot of those ‘this doesn’t make sense’ details.”

“It still feels like a lot of work to just understand a book,” Peter complains.

“But you’re not just understanding a book,” you reply. “You’re understanding a culture.”

Your discussion went on like that for the rest of the session, with no further movement from James’s section of the room.

The next session Peter showed up with yet another bodyguard. He looked apologetic when he told you, “this is Lloyd. He’s today’s security detail.”

“Nice to meet you, Cupcake,” Lloyd pulled you closer to him as he shook your hand. “I’ve heard nothing but good things from the other guys.” 

You try to back away from him. Between his handlebar mustache, aggressive body language and overpriced cologne, you knew he wasn’t going to make today’s session easy.

“Hello Lloyd,” you reply curtly. “Just to make sure, you are aware of the conditions for allowing you to sit with us for the tutoring session, yes?”

“I’m aware,” his smile grows, showing his teeth, “and I promise to try to abide. But it’s not my fault if I end up finding you distracting.” You give him an incredulous look and respond, “yes, yes it is. But if you become too much of a distraction you will have to stand outside the room or you’ll have to explain to Mr. Stark why today’s session got canceled.”

“Ooo, so bossy,” he leered. “I like ‘em bossy.” You roll your eyes and try to get the session started. 

It isn’t long until the small study room is full of Lloyd’s cologne and giving you a headache. Your mood is worsened by Lloyd’s constant fidgeting and frequent derisive noises and comments. You’re very tempted to cancel the session but Peter’s such a  good student and you want to do right by him. 

“So have you heard back from your teacher about this?”

“Yeah, finally got an email response saying she’s going to have to see a rough draft before she’ll approve.”

“A full rough draft? Not an outline or summary,” you ask. “That’s a lot of work and a ton of time you’ll never get back if she says no to this.”

“You could just bitch slap her into accepting,” Lloyd interjects. “Bitch slapping bitches always works.” Peter winces at his words and that’s the last straw for you. 

“So you’re saying it would work on you?” You do not hold back on your glare and the comment seems to catch him off guard.

“I’m no bitch.”

“Then why are you acting like a needy bitch boy who’s not getting enough attention? You were allowed here with the understanding that you do not interfere. And yet you’ve done nothing but annoy, distract and deride. So either you sit still, shut up and do your job or I slap you and see if your bitch slap theory holds.”

Both men look taken aback at your anger but you don’t stop staring down Lloyd until looks away with a “yes, ma’am.” You turn back to Peter, smile, and continue to talk out how to handle his teacher while working on the project. 

As the weeks go by you’re grateful to never see Lloyd again. Peter alternates between Ari and James for the rest of your sessions and, when it’s finally time, you’re almost sad to say goodbye to the kid. Ari even gives you a giant smile and says he owes you one. Apparently your session with Lloyd was the last straw and they were finally able to get him fired. You were happy to help and only one bad session out of a semester’s worth of tutoring was your best record thus far. Now you could focus on your own finals, you were just a couple weeks away from getting your degree and wanted to finish strong. 

You were so caught up in finals stress that you didn’t notice someone following you until you were grabbed with a rag pressed into your face. The smell is strong and you find yourself passing out quickly. The last thing your brain registers is the too strong stench of overpriced cologne and someone whispering the word, “bitch” into your ear.