#i talk about my hair too much but it really is kind of integral to my identity and presentation | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

staytheword · 2 years ago

Text

kind regards

kind regards — one shot [general masterlist]

this series (and this blog) are 18+ !! minors, please do not interact!!

• changbin x female reader; lee know is briefly featured.

• non idol au. workplace au. rivals to lovers (workplace rivalry). some physical description of mc, drinking, explicit language, explicit smut.

• smut warnings (spoilers ahead) — dom!changbin, switch! reader, unprotected sex, sex in an empty public space, angry sex, elevator sex, use of pet names, lingerie, praising kink, dirty talk, slight degradation kink, dumbification, throatfucking, creampie.

• word count: 10.5k

Seo Changbin. Every time you get an email from me, you feel your blood boil. What a conceited, terrible human being. You have to work together, but it doesn't mean you have to like him. In fact, you only feel hate towards him. So what if you have no idea what he looks like, so what if you have never met him? Nothing could change your mind about him. Right?

• author’s note: Just a silly little one shot to take our mind off things. I wrote this completely for fun so I hope you can have fun reading it as well! Thank you for being here, sending lots of love your way. ♡

You stare at your computer screen, hoping that if you do it long and hard enough, it will magically conjure up the word you’re looking for. It starts with a g, that much you’re sure of, and it’s an adverb. It’s not gradually. It’s not gaudily. You have right there, on the tip of your tongue, but frustratingly out of reach.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You’ll find it. You’ll find it.

“Y/N?”

Your eyes flutter open on your coworker, Gahyeon, who gives you an apologetic smile.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “Just can’t find my words today.”

“Hm,” she nods knowingly. “I hate days like that.”

You slide a hand through your hair and sit up in your chair.

“What’s up, Gahyeon?”

“I just wanted your advice on something…”

She circles your desk and puts a document on it, asking about the revision of a tricky sentence, offering you a welcome distraction. You discuss it for a few minutes before she heads back to her desk, long hair flowing down her back. You turn back to your screen, ready to get a good amount of work done before you head to lunch. Your fingers dance on your keyboard for a few minutes when you get an email notification.

Immediately, your blood grows hot and you stop typing. The notification shows you who the email is from: Seo Changbin, from marketing.

You haven’t even opened the email yet but you’re already angry. You know his email will be dripping with his usual passive aggressive tone, blaming you for this and that, asking you to make corrections to something that has already been done and approved. You just know it. The guy is never happy with anything, especially not your work. He’s the only one, though. You work well with your colleagues, and your team manager likes you. You always hand in your work on time. You’re always meticulous. You care about what you do, and you make sure it’s well done.

But this guy.

Not long ago, one of his emails angered you so much you almost punched your computer screen. You almost took the elevator to his floor to let him hear a piece of your mind. Luckily for him you have some self-control - and you know he is still your senior in the company. You don’t want to lose your job over some loser who clearly has nothing better to do with his time than bring you down to raise himself up.

It wasn’t always this way. You’ve worked at this company for years as a translator and never had any major issues with anyone, except for some classic bickering and gossip. Then this guy integrated the marketing department as a star talent and proceeded to make your life a living hell because he, too, spoke several languages and didn’t approve of your phrasing or your choice of words.

It’s not the tone we are aiming for is the sentence you’ve read the most from him. Sometimes you hear it in your nightmares.

You really don’t want to open the email, but you have to. Then you can treat yourself to a good lunch. You had planned on just grabbing something from the cafeteria, but you will definitely head out outside. A brie and spinach panini from the cafe next door, perhaps? Maybe even some sushi.

You inhale slowly and click on your inbox.

The email starts as usual. Dear Y/LN. It also ends as usual. Looking forward to your collaboration. You clench your fists, imagining they land on his nose and break it in a thousand pieces. The guy is polite - too polite. So polite you also want to break his teeth. You can just feel the arrogance oozing from his words.

You read the content of the email and take a deep breath. It’s not too bad today, considering, but it still puts you in a bad mood. There is something I would like to suggest, he writes.

Suggest it to my fist, you arrogant fuck.

You stare at your screen, your face frozen into an expression of disgust. You hate every single word he uses. You hate that he puts his font just a half a point bigger like he has something to compensate for. You hate the little gray icon next to his name at the top that indicates the jerk still hasn’t uploaded his picture like the company requires. Maybe it’s best you don’t know what he looks like, because then your hate would know absolutely no bounds.

You work for a big company. So big it occupies multiple floors of a sky-high building, and you’ve probably only met about 5% of the totality of your coworkers. That does not include the marketing team, except for a few faces you can recall from a Christmas party. That department is a floor above you, right on top of your head even, and the thought makes you rage.

I won’t let you step on me, Seo Changbin. You can burn in hell.

You imagine he’s a sixty-something year old guy with a fancy suit and a big watch, a family he does not know how to show affection for, and probably a mistress although his dick hasn’t worked properly in years. You just know he’s the sort of man to look down on women, to never say thank you to cashiers and to play golf with his buddies on the weekend. Hell, he’s probably a part of a country club of some kind.

You’re probably taking all of this too far but you don’t care.

You need to hate the guy. You want to hate him. It makes it easier.

With a sigh, you quickly reply to him, your tone cold and expeditive as always. You sign with your usual kind regards, words you’ve decided during a lonely night in your apartment after four glasses of wine. Just regards would be too easy, best did not convey your feeling and warm was just gross. Kind - that was perfect. Just the perfect amount of passive aggressiveness that could never be read as just that.

You close your inbox, inhaling slowly. You’re not going to let the guy ruin your day. You are not.

You get some more work done and ask Gahyeon if she wants to grab lunch with you. Minho yells from his desk that he’s coming too, so the three of you set off downstairs.

In the elevator, you complain about the email. Gahyeon shakes her head, although smiling amusingly, and Minho lets out a chuckle as you spit out your murderous intents.

“What are you laughing at?” you pout.

“I was just imagining the day you’ll come face to face with the guy,” he says, eyes gleaming mischievously. “I need to witness this moment.”

“Historical moment,” Gahyeon agrees.

“It would be best for you to be there,” you reply. “I’ll need help getting rid of the body.”

Once you’re sitting down with your platter of sushi not long later, you let out a sigh and plop one in your mouth.

“So, are you guys going to the cocktail party Friday night?” Gahyeon asks you both.

“You mean the thing with free food and booze?” you reply with a chuckle. “Why the hell would I miss it?”

Minho shakes his head. “I can’t that night, I’m cat-sitting for a friend.”

You glance at your friend, but then again, for such a sentence to escape his lips is nothing out of the ordinary.

“You could bring the cat to the cocktail party,” you suggest.

“And what, put the poor thing on a leash?” Minho glares.

You let out a laugh. “No leash. Just let it roam free. Hopefully my archnemesis will be there and the cat will scratch his face off.”

You all laugh over your plates, covering your mouths with your hands so as not to be too loud. It’s a tendency you have - you’ve been warned before about making too much noise in this very restaurant. You love their sushi too much to risk being banned, so you do your best to be discreet.

“Are you going, Gahyeon?” you ask your friend.

She nods. “Probably.”

Minho raises his eyebrows at her. “Hoping Mr Finance Department will be there?”

Gahyeon blushes slightly. “Well…”

You slap your hand on her arm, gasping loudly. “Oh my God, that’s still a thing?! I thought you were over him!”

Minho leans towards you. “It was, but he broke up with Sunglass Girl.”

“He did?!”

“And he got a haircut,” Gahyeon whimpers. “I didn’t think it would be possible but he looks even more fucking hot.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” you say.

You put a hand on your friend’s shoulder and look deep inside her hazel eyes.

“Don’t worry, Gahyeon. I’ll be your wingwoman Friday night.”

“That’s okay, Y/N…”

“I promise you to get you close enough to count the beauty marks on his face.”

“He has two.”

“I thought just one,” Minho frowns.

“No, two,” Gahyeon assures him.

“After Friday you can tell us how many he has on his entire body.”

“Y/N!” Gahyeon cries out, hiding her face.

She can’t stop giggling, though, and neither can you - and as Minho starts to make soft kissing sounds, you all burst out laughing.

When you settle at your desk for the afternoon, later that day, you’ve almost forgotten about your work nemesis. Almost.

Kind regards.

Changbin lets out a scoff, scrunching his nose in front of his screen. Kind regards. He’s not an idiot. He can read between the lines. He knows exactly what that means, and it’s kindly fuck off.

He’s not annoyed by it. Changbin knows better than to let things like that get to him. No, he’s definitely not annoyed.

He just hates your guts.

Before he closes your answer to his email, he catches a glimpse of your picture, right there, next to your name. It’s so small he can barely trace your features, but in a previous moment of weakness he opened the picture so it would be bigger and saw you almost too well.

Wide doe eyes. Full lips. Smiling almost cheekily to the camera, wearing a black turtleneck. Wispy bangs grazing your forehead. Simple gold loop earrings. A faint white scar on the right side of your nose, probably from your childhood.

Yeah. He might have looked at the picture a few times.

It was just to get to know his enemy better, he swore to himself. That way, he had an advantage over you - he knew what you looked like, but you had no idea who he was. You could meet him in the elevator or the cafeteria and you would have no idea - but he would. It happened once. He saw you in the main hall of the building one morning, holding a coffee and wearing headphones. You were bobbing your head to the music, completely oblivious to the rest of the world. He tried really hard not to stare, but it was beyond him - luckily, you didn’t even notice him.

Why would you, anyway? Thousands of people work in the company, hundreds of them wearing plain black suits like he does. Once Changbin understood that, he knew one day it would come to his advantage. He’s just waiting for the right moment. It will come. He just has to be patient - which has never been his strength, but for you, he trusts it will be worth it.

He takes the last bite out of his sandwich - homemade - and leans back on his chair. If only he could deal with someone else, if only you weren’t the translator assigned to his projects 90% of the time. At one point it started to feel like a joke, so much he wondered if someone was doing it on purpose. Your pettiness, your rude tone, it all rubbed off on him in all the wrong ways. He doesn’t do well with games and smugness, so you’re really testing his patience. Getting on his last nerve isn’t even covering it. Passive aggressive emails are starting to not be enough to convey his point. The fact that you’re pretty? It makes it even worse. You’re probably just a princess that thinks everything should be handed to her. He’s going to need to make himself very clear.

He just doesn’t know how.

Of course it’s on his mind all day, and it pisses him off even more that he can’t focus on work because of you. You might be pretty but right now, for Changbin, you’re the devil incarnate and he needs to exorcize you out of his mind. Luckily, he has his gym bag with him so he can head right there after work. Small blessings.

At six o’clock, Changbin stands from his desk, gets his things and heads to the elevator. Many people have already left, which is why he likes to finish his day at six - it’s much quieter in the building and the subway. His briefcase in a hand, his gym bag on his shoulder, he gets in the elevator and sighs. A part of him just wants to get home, and another dreads the silence of his apartment.

The elevator stops on the 11th floor - your floor.

The chances for you to step in the elevator are slim, but present, so Changbin tenses a little, just in case. Good thing he does, because there you appear. Wearing a skirt and knee-high boots, your jacket around your arm, clutching your phone. His heartbeat immediately accelerates, and he has to violently remind himself that while he knows exactly who you are, you don’t.

You step inside the elevator, giving him a small nod, and push the button for the main floor.

It’s very silent. Changbin can’t help but glance at you - but you do the same at the same time, so both of you quickly look away. Leaning against the back of the elevator, you are pinching your lips, and you keep glancing at him. Changbin is more tense than he has ever been, keeping a solid frown on his face, his joints getting white at how tight he’s holding his briefcase.

You pull out your phone and start texting frenetically. He keeps his eyes in front of him, hoping that the elevator would just stop to let somebody else in, but it’s well on its way to the main floor without interruption. He glares at you when you snicker at your phone. Are you talking about him? Are you making fun of him?

He breathes out. Calm the fuck down.

You have no idea who he is.

And maybe it’s exactly why you are smiling like you are, stealing a few more glances. You’re not flirting, but he can feel it off you - if the context was different, you might have been. He’s trying very hard not to think about the fact that you smell really good. That your eyeliner is perfectly curved at the corner of your eyes, that he has a soft spot for knee-high boots.

So as to set his mind right, Changbin recalls to his mind the email you sent him today, and all the ones before. All the arrogance and rudeness, all the times he wanted to punch a wall or yell at you. That makes it easier, just a little bit.

The elevator finally pings at the main floor and he briskly gestures for you to get out first. You give him a cute smile.

“Thanks,” you say, your voice dripping like honey. “Have a good evening.”

Changbin clenches his jaw and does not answer. You don’t seem bothered though, as you walk away with a spring in your step. Fortunately, you head towards the street, not the subway, and he lets out a sigh of relief. Truly, small blessings.

You stare at your closet and let out a long sigh. It’s not that you don’t have anything to wear, of course, but there’s just nothing you want to wear. You don’t care about impressing or seducing anyone, you just want to dress up for yourself, to feel good even just for a little while.

You hesitate but eventually settle on a simple black cocktail dress you adore because it’s extremely comfortable and has pockets. You slip it on, wearing only your golden hoops as your jewelry, and let your hair down. It would do just fine.

Gahyeon is waiting for you outside your building, which is only a few minutes walk away from the office. She looks insanely good in a red dress and matching lipstick, and you shower her in compliments. You make it to the building quickly, showing your identification to the security guard. The lobby is already quite busy with people from all departments, who are sipping champagne and catching up.

You and Gahyeon get a drink from the open bar, looking for Mr Finance Department in the crowd. Luckily, your friend has a radar for him and she spots him by the windows standing with his colleagues. He has gotten a haircut, and the short hair gives him an edgier look that really suits him.

“All right,” you say, holding your friend’s shoulders. “You remember the plan?”

Gahyeon nods. “Walk up to him, say hello, be myself.”

“And, what else?”

“Be direct.”

You hold up a palm so Gahyeon can high five you, and she sets off towards her crush, nervously playing with the strip of her handbag. You look at her go, trying not to squeal as you watch the guy turn to her and give her a sincere smile. From what you can see, although you can’t hear, they seem to be hitting it off. You feel a rush of pride, like your evening’s work has already been done. Now you can just let Gahyeon enjoy herself, have a few drinks, and go home in peace.

You head towards a quieter spot, considering going out to the terrace to enjoy the evening breeze when a familiar face stops you in your tracks.

“Oh, Y/N, long time no see.”

It’s your boss - not the boss boss, but high enough on the company hierarchy so that he is not the kind of person you can’t ignore. You give him a polite smile although you’re not really in the mood for small talk.

“How are you, sir? It’s good to see you.”

“Likewise, likewise. Now I wanted to mention to you the…”

He starts talking to you about a recent project that he wants to expand, and you nod at him, listening more or less intently - and that’s when you notice the guy standing next to him.

His black hair is slightly combed back, small strands falling back on his forehead. He’s dressed all in black, his shirt without a tie, and there’s an elegant, discreet watch on his wrist. He just emanates charisma.

Sexy Elevator Guy.

That’s the unoriginal nickname Minho gave him in your group chat when you told your friends about your encounter with a mysterious, brooding stranger in the elevator.

All week you hoped to see him again, although you never really counted on it. You didn’t even know if he worked at the company - maybe he was just a visitor. But from his attire and the fact that he is standing next to your boss, you can guess he’s your colleague.

How delightful.

Your boss seems to notice he hasn’t introduced you, and so he points at the guy, who has been staring at you since you appeared.

“Oh, but you two must know each other, right?” your boss says. “Don’t you work together?”

You frown. “Hm, I’m not sure..”

“Sure, we do,” the guy answers.

You look at him in surprise and confusion. This smile - it really does look like he knows you. Is it because of the elevator? You don’t understand.

“How delightful to finally meet you, Y/LN,” he continues, and your blood gets boiling hot. “Seo Changbin, from Marketing.”

Oh.

Oh, no.

Your heart drops at the bottom of your chest as you stare at him. Does he know who you are? He has to, smiling proudly as he is. You’re too shocked to feel angry, but you know it’s coming.

“I -” you stutter. “I’m not -”

“Can you believe this, sir?” he laughs. “We’ve been exchanging emails for months but we’ve never met.”

“Yes,” your boss nods, “well, that’s what happens with such big companies.”

The two of them keep talking but you completely lose track, your eyes fixated on him. Seo Changbin. He is your nemesis? He is looking forward to your collaboration guy? You can’t believe it.

Yet you have to face it.

That’s him. Seo Changbin.

The guy you’ve been hating and insulting and plotting to murder.

He’s standing in front of you - and he is also Sexy Elevator Guy.

No fucking way.

“Excuse me,” you mutter and walk away without another look.

You don’t care that you’ll come off as rude - you need some air. A lot of it, actually. You head directly to the terrace, stare up at the dark sky and inhale deeply. You feel dizzy, the wine coming up your throat.

You can’t believe what just happened. It’s one thing to discover his identity - but you can’t get over the fact that he clearly knew who you were. He is playing with you. He’s had the upper hand this entire time. Of course he does, you realize. His picture isn’t on his profile, but yours is. How dumb you are.

Your eyes fixated on the horizon, you let out a bitter laugh. What a fucking dick. What an enormous piece of shit. You clench your fists, ready to go back in and punch him in the balls for humiliating you like that. Your physical idea of him might’ve been completely wrong, but it clearly wasn’t in terms of personality.

“Here.”

At the sound of his voice, you spin on your heels, ready to spit venom - but he’s no longer smiling. His eyes are dark, his face serious, and he’s handing you a glass of white wine.

“Noticed that’s what you were drinking earlier,” he explains.

You squint your eyes at him.

“Get the fuck away from me,” you hiss.

He sighs, looking at you as if he is disappointed.

“C’mon, now. Now that the cat’s out of the bag, maybe we can be professional adults about this?”

“Excuse me?!”

“I’m talking about the attitude,” he says, raising an eyebrow nonchalantly. “We don’t like each other, and that’s fine. I don’t care, I don’t need to like you. But I’m tired of working with you feeling like a fight.”

It’s like you sober up all at once, fixating on him a dark glare.

“I don’t think I’m the problem here,” you spit out. “You came in and started criticizing my work like I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve been working here longer than you.”

“I’m still your superior,” he replies, taking a step towards you. “Whatever I say goes.”

“You don’t have to be a dick about it.”

“I’ve always been polite.”

“Polite, my ass. You’ve been looking down at me ever since your first email. I’m not stupid, don’t talk to me as if I am.”

“If only you did what is expected -”

You bark out a laugh, shaking your head. He stops.

“You did not just say that.”

He squints his eyes and exhales deeply. “All I mean is, it doesn’t have to be that difficult. Just make the damn changes.”

“I do,” you hiss. “But you could ask for them a little bit more nicely.”

“What, do you want every single email to come with a bouquet of flowers and a serenade? I have better things to do.”

“You’re such a patronizing asshole.”

“And all you do is insult me. Why can’t you act like an adult for once?”

“You know nothing about me.”

“I know enough.”

You take a deep breath. It feels like arguing with a wall - clearly, there is nothing to be done, and really, nothing to say. You just don’t get along, and that will be the end of it. You suddenly feel tired. You take the glass of wine from his hand.

“Here’s one more insult for the road: fuck you.”

You just want to go back inside, finish your drink and get home, but Changbin grabs your upper arm as you’re starting to walk away. He doesn’t do it gently, but it’s not rough either - you look up at him with spite.

Or you try.

Because Changbin is so very terribly your type, smells wonderful, and has the kind of voice to get anyone weak in the knees.

Focus, woman.

“What?” you hiss.

“This conversation is not over.”

“Oh, I think it is,” you laugh with scorn.

“It isn’t,” he retorts, his eyes focused on you.

He’s standing a little too close for your liking - you can’t help but glance at his lips. Plump. Inviting.

“We have to figure out a way to work together. It’s not like we have a choice.”

You lift your chin slightly. “If you don’t let me go this second, I’ll scream and tell everyone you’re a pervert.”

He bites his lip, clearly holding back an insult, and you wish he would just say it. He doesn’t, though, and simply lets you go. You shake your hair out of your face.

“I’m sick of the games,” he chews. “Tell me what you want.”

You smile at him. “The games.”

He sighs and you chuckle.

“Don’t think for a second you’ll get away with this trick you just pulled. If you thought I was difficult before, you have no idea what’s coming for you now, Mr. Seo.”

He looks exhausted and slightly worried, but angry most of all. That delights you, and you finally walk away from him, finishing your glass of wine in one sip.

He can’t let you walk away like this.

This is all Changbin can think of as he watches you cross the terrace to go back inside. If it ends like this, then it will all be for the worst. You might follow up on your promise to make his life a living hell, or even worse, things might get awkward and even more tense. No, definitely, you and him need to continue this conversation and find some kind of agreement.

He licks his lips, turning away from the building in annoyance. He never signed up for this when he decided to leave his previous workplace for this one - yes, the salary was better, and so were the benefits, but it was never about that. It was about challenging himself, about growing and learning in his workplace environment, about finding his place. You couldn’t get in the way of that. Nobody could.

Changbin glances inside to make sure you haven’t left the building - he catches a glimpse of you near the bar, sulking. Good, he thinks, as he finishes his own glass. Let the both of you be miserable and angry, at least.

The world feels so quiet out on the terrace, but when he steps back inside, his ears are filled once more with the sounds of music and conversation. Since there are a lot of people around, maybe it won’t be as easy for you to start spitting venom at him - but he doesn’t really count on that. He takes a deep breath, tries to settle his anger. Just a conversation. Calm, polite, reasonable. You can do that.

However, as you lock eyes with him across the room, Changbin knows it won’t be that easy. Your eyes are full of fire, your mouth pinched in spite. It could be unattractive if only that black dress did not perfectly hug your curves and set his mind wandering against his will.

“For fuck’s sake, can’t you leave me alone?” you whine.

It would be so easy to fall back into the same energy as you, but Changbin holds on. He breathes in, leaning against the wall next to you. He’s not a difficult person. He doesn’t usually get into conflicts with people. Why he does with you is beyond him.

“Look,” he says. “I just want to be able to work in peace.”

“So do I,” you sigh. “But you never let that happen.”

“How about this,” he snaps, turning to face you. “I hold back on the passive aggressive, but so do you.”

To his despair, you only give him a smug smile.

“So you admit to the passive aggressiveness.”

“Is this what you pick up on?”

“Didn’t you hear me earlier?” you say, frowning. “You humiliated me. Made damn sure I’d feel like a fool not knowing your face. I’m not going to let you walk away from that.”

“What the hell do you want from me?”

You scoff. “You think I’m going to tell you now? No way. I want you to live in fear.”

It’s entirely against his will, but Changbin laughs. He quickly frowns afterwards, sliding a hand across his face. The look of surprise on your face quickly fades away, though, to a certain revolt.

“Are you laughing at me?” you ask.

“No,” he sighs, making sure his face no longer holds any kind of laughter. “You’re just getting on my last nerve.”

“Well you’ve been on mine for a certain time.”

“It’s useless to talk to you, isn’t it?”

“If you wanted to talk, why didn’t you just come and see me? Why did you have to do all that shit with the picture and the boss? Why did you have to mock me like you did?”

You are so full of fire, Changbin can’t believe his eyes and ears. You’re like a flame he can’t look away from - a flame he desperately wants to extinguish for his own preservation, and yet one he desperately wants to graze with his fingers, even knowing he’ll get burned.

Your conversation is going nowhere, Changbin is aware of it. Things have gone completely out of hand, so much it all feels like a fever dream. So confused between his different feelings for you, Changbin breathes out, pulling on his suit to replace it on his shoulders.

“I need another drink,” he mumbles.

Without him expecting it, tables turn - this time, it’s you grabbing his arm as he is turning away. He looks up at you in surprise.

“I have an idea,” you say.

It might be the booze, or it might just be the adrenaline, but you find yourself dragging Seo Changbin by the wrist across the lobby, all the way to the elevators. To your surprise, he doesn’t even try to shrug you off, and you don’t let him go.

You both get in the elevator and you push the button for the 12th floor. Changbin waits until the doors have closed and you stand in silence to ask.

“Where are we going?”

“Where do you think?” you sigh. “Your office.”

He turns towards you, eyes dark.

“Why?”

You do the same, turning to face him. Your index pushes against his chest.

“You’re going to do something for me,” you state. “Even if I have to endure your shit, I’ll make sure nobody else does.”

“I’m not going to - It’s not even - and how are you going to do that?”

“Simple,” you grin. “Upload a picture.”

The doors of the elevator open on this perfect timing, and you wave your hand.

“After you.”

He lets out a long sigh but he still leads you to his office. You’ve never been in this area of the building, but now is not the time for sightseeing. Besides, most floors look the same.

Changbin opens the door to his office, and you follow him inside. It’s not a very big room, but it’s still wide enough for a large desk and bookshelves. There are two large windows, and the walls facing the rest of the floor are made of glass. Not much for privacy, you think. But then again, your own desk stands in the middle of a wide room, which you share with ten other people.

You nod towards his chair. “Sit.”

He rolls his eyes, but he does. You stand next to him, arms crossed, thinking about the fact that this was probably the spot from where he sent most of his day-ruining emails to you. You bite your tongue a little.

“C’mon. Open the computer and upload the damn picture.”

“I don’t have one.”

“One what?”

“A picture,” he explains. “An official one, I mean.”

You groan. “I don’t give a shit. Find another one, it’ll have to do.”

“I was told it had to be -”

“Hey,” you snap. “You’re in no position to argue.”

He scoffs but he doesn’t answer, although he clearly disagrees. You don’t care you’re being petty, and that he’s being the bigger person - you’ve never had much of a reasonable nature. As Changbin searches through his computer, you walk around the office, staring at the window, staring at him, and then at his screen. You catch a glimpse of a group picture, of him with friends, smiling widely at the camera.

He shakes his head but reframes the picture and uploads it to his email profile. You squint your eyes.

“There. You happy?” he lets out.

“It’ll do for now,” you say.

He closes the windows on his screen, standing up. His shoulders are wide, his arms too. You remember that gym bag he was carrying.

“Let’s go, then,” he says.

You chuckle. “Oh, do you think this is over?”

He blinks at you, chuckling in disbelief. “Isn’t it?”

“Not even close.”

“All right, this is enough,” he growls, taking a step towards you. “I’ve done what you wanted, can’t you move on now?”

“No, I can’t,” you spit. “You’ve made my life difficult ever since you’ve started working here and -”

“What about my life?” Changbin hisses. “You think your fucking tone and attitude has made my days easier?”

“At least I’m not a self-righteous asshole!” you cry out.

“God, you’re fucking detestable,” he says.

He’s standing too close to you now. All you can see, all you can smell, is him, him, him. The tension is so tightly drawn between your two bodies you feel like it can only snap. You desperately hold on to your end, though, because you’re scared of what might happen if you do let go - but it’s out of your control.

Changbin breathes in, and his eyes linger for a second too long on your lips - and that makes the tightrope snap.

He doesn’t kiss you first, but neither do you - it just happens at the same time. Your lips crash halfway in a feverish dance, and you can’t understand what is happening to you. It feels like your entire body just caught on fire, like everything makes sense, like every step you’ve taken, every word you’ve uttered, has led you to this moment.

Changbin’s hand slides behind your head, holding the back of your neck, and your arms circle his waist to sprawl on his back. He kisses you deeply, breathing you in, and you can only collapse in his arms.

Your hands go against his chest, and then in his hair, as he keeps pushing your head against his lips, as if to deepen your kiss, more and more. Your back hits the desk behind you, but you barely notice. All you can feel are Changbin’s lips devouring yours, his arms holding you close. You open your mouth wider but he’s quicker, sliding his tongue inside before you can do the same.

A moan escapes your throat, vibrating against his lips, and he draws you in even closer. It seems like forever before you lean back, breathless, just in order to catch your breath. Your lips feel swollen already, but you don’t want to stop kissing him. Still, the slight distance gives you enough perspective to realize what is happening.

“What the fuck am I doing,” you whisper, shaking your head.

A part of you wants to slip away, just so you have time to put some order in your thoughts, but as you are about to do so, Changbin’s fingers, which had been resting on your waist, grab your chin tightly. You whimper.

“Is this a part of your little game?” he says in a low voice, breathing heavily.

“What?”

“Tell me the truth,” he hisses. “Are you playing with me now?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

You angrily grab his wrist, trying to pull his hand away - but he is stronger than you. You struggle against him, gritting your teeth.

“Answer me,” he insists.

“Fuck you,” you spit out.

He relaxes enough for you to push him away, squinting your eyes at him in anger.

“Way to ruin the moment, asshole.”

You do the only thing that makes sense for you in that instant - walk away. You’re ashamed and horribly angry at yourself for letting this happen. He’s attractive, yes, but he’s ruined so many of your days, made you feel miserable and worthless at your job. You have to hold on to your anger - and it has to be directed at him.

Your heels make no sound against the carpet and it’s infuriating. You don’t hear anyone behind you either, so you guess Changbin has decided not to follow you. It’s probably a good thing, although now you feel entirely at a loss as to how your workdays will go. Should you be quiet? You scoff. No - if anyone should, it’s him.

Your hand smashes the button for the elevator. It takes too long to arrive, but it does. You enter the elevator, push the button for the lobby and cross your arms.

Fuck, if only he wasn’t such a good kisser.

The doors are nearly closed when he comes in. He slides between them, stands in front of you. He’s not that much taller than you but someone in his demeanor makes you feel like he’s towering over you by several inches.

“Just leave me alone, will you?” you hiss.

He scoffs, shaking his head. There’s a wildness in his eyes, and you can’t look away from him.

“Can you really blame me for asking?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“About playing games,” he says, articulating each syllable. Each sounds angrier than the last. “You told me you’d make me regret what I did.”

You pout. “Aw, are you really that scared? It’s not my fault you made it your job to piss me off.”

“Look who’s talking.”

You stare at each other for a second. It’s like the tension has magically reappeared, unresolved. It’s clear you both want the same thing, but can’t bring yourselves to say or show it. You’re so angry at him.

He takes another step towards you. Your faces are inches from each other - just a nod and his lips would be on yours again.

“Fine. I’m sorry about the picture thing,” he says, his voice low and deep.

“Just that?” you ask, arching an eyebrow.

His smirk only curves half of his mouth, and it’s humorless. “Don’t push it.”

You are the one to tilt your head forward, just slightly.

“This does not mean I’m not angry at you,” you breathe in his mouth.

“And we still need to talk about this,” he adds.

“Later,” you nod.

He turns to slam the button to stop the elevator, and as his body comes back to face yours, you pull him in your arms and kiss him.

It’s even more desperate and angry than before, maybe because neither of you are held back by the surprise and doubt. It’s unsaid, but you hear it from his lips, it doesn’t mean anything. You’ve just both been tense and you need an outlet - what better than each other?

Changbin pushes you against the wall of the elevator, his hands discovering your body. His warmth and his weight are completely enveloping you, and you push his jacket away. He shrugs it off, and the fabric of his shirt is soft against your skin.

Changbin kisses you deep, like he’s been waiting to do it, like you’re not on top of each other inside a dark elevator outside of work hours, his tongue tasting of lemon and gin.

One of his hands traces your hips and slides on your ass, squeezing softly. In a swift move, he lifts one of your legs and wraps it around his. It elicits a moan from you, your nails scratch the back of his neck. He growls in your mouth, biting your lower lip in answer.

With his body pushed against yours, you can feel his hard cock, and he shifts you so it rubs directly against your wetness. You roll your hips, breathing heavily against his mouth.

“You like that, huh?” he tells you. “Rubbing yourself against me.”

“Easy, you’re so fucking hard already,” you retort.

“Like you aren’t all wet for my dick,” he sighs, kissing your neck.

You feel yourself clench at his words. When you don’t answer, only grab him tighter, Changbin chuckles.

“You are, aren’t you?” he whispers, his hands moving up your dress, lifting it slowly, warming your thighs.

“Shut the fuck up.”

He shakes his head, biting your earlobe hard. You let out a small whimper.

“I’m gonna fuck that tight little pussy of yours so good you won’t be able to come into work tomorrow.”

“You wish,” you answer, starting to unbutton his pants. “I’m not gonna let you go a day without getting an email from me. I’m going to fucking torture you.”

As you mutter the words, you take his cock out of his pants and start to rub your hand around it. Changbin hisses, slightly bucking his hips.

“You need a fucking lesson,” he sneers, pushing your underwear to the side to touch you. “I’m going to shut you up.”

He is right - you’re soaked, but it seems to please him. He takes a few seconds to caress you, spreading your wetness, and inserting a finger inside of you. You let out a choked moan, wrapping your arms around his neck for a better hold.

“That’s right,” he mutters. “That’s what I like to hear.”

He inserts another finger, stretching your walls, and moving his wrist in sharp motions. You breathe out erratically, grabbing onto his suit, his fingers curled inside your cunt.

“Fuck, you’re so tight. Making me lose my goddamn mind.”

You don’t want him to stop what he is doing, but you are craving the feel of his cock inside of you, so you tug at his hardness, kissing his jaw.

“Fuck me already.”

He doesn’t need you to ask twice, guiding himself against your entrance and penetrating you. You let out a choked moan, grabbing onto the wall of the elevator. He gives you time to adjust to his size, but he’s not being particularly careful either.

“Holy shit,” you mutter in his ear despite yourself.

“Fuck, I can feel my cock stretching you,” he grunts.

He thrusts his hips faster and faster, and in a matter of seconds he’s pounding into you. The elevator is silent except for the sounds of your heavy breathing and moans, and the lewd sounds of him fucking you, skin slapping against skin.

Your nails dig inside the back of his neck again, and he grips your waist so tight you’re sure it will leave a mark.

“Changbin, don’t stop,” you cry out.

“So impatient,” he sneers, but he still doesn’t stop, like he can’t, like he’s a man possessed.

He even accelerates, and you feel yourself coming. Your orgasm ripples through you like lightning. Your body shakes, your thoughts evaporate. Changbin fucks you deep, his breathing heavy in your hair.

“I can’t -” he hisses. “I’m not -”

“Come inside me,” you surprise yourself whispering.

You can feel his cock twitch at your words, and he comes inside you, hips bucking sharply, grunts escaping his throat like it’s hurting it.

You stay like that for a few minutes, panting, recovering your breath. After a few seconds he takes a step back, breathing out. You got back on both feet, feeling dizzy and already sore. You both look like a mess, hair tangled, lips raw from kissing.

You lean back against the wall, breathing slowly. He does the same on the wall next to you. You’re silent for a few seconds.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” you say softly.

Changbin nods.

“Let’s go back up. There won’t be anyone there.”

His voice is softer than you’ve ever heard - almost tender. You look at him, giving him a small nod, and he pushes the elevator button so it heads back upstairs.

He lets you go to the bathroom alone, where you clean up, but he’s waiting for you outside.

“All good?” he asks with a frown.

“Yes.”

You look down at the floor as he does, and then back at him - meeting his eyes in the process. The silence is awkward, but just like that, you find yourself smiling. Him, too.

And then you start laughing.

It’s not hysterical laughter, just chuckling. He looks almost shy, and you can’t stop giggling. You might even be blushing.

“I don’t know about you,” he says, scrunching his nose. “But I feel a lot better.”

You smirk. “Took the words right out of my mouth.”

He stretches a hand towards you. “Wanna go back to the party?”

You nod. “Hell yes. I need a drink.”

“So do I.”

You head back to the elevator, and you let it head downstairs this time. Smirking to yourselves, you feel like the whole thing is unreal.

But you do feel better. You don’t force your smile - it stretches on your face, plastered, almost annoyingly so. And Changbin. Fuck. You think he’s cute, with his cheeks still red and his neck a mess from the work of your nails.

“By the way,” you say. “You look fucking hot in that suit.”

“Right back at you. When I saw that little black dress I almost bit my fist off.”

You grin. Changbin turns to you, placing a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Something’s not right, though,” he says.

You frown as he leans towards you, whispering in your ear.

“I didn’t get to do half of the things I want to do to you. So once we’ve had a couple of drinks, I’m taking you to my place, and I’m giving you another lesson. And this one will last.”

You bite your lip as the elevator doors open on the main hall, which is still filled with your chatting coworkers. Nothing has changed - the world has kept on spinning. Changbin gives you a smile, and extends his arm.

“Shall we?”

Changbin does not bring you to his place.

You bring him to yours.

Both of you started to get impatient after just one drink, eyefucking each other over your glasses although you had both just came hard in the elevator. It was like something finally snapped inside him, and he could let his thoughts roam free, unashamed, unbound.

The way your dress hugged your cleavage. The way your lips curled around the rim of your glass, begging to be kissed, begging to be fucked. All the things he wanted to do to you, that he had never let himself really think about, just proliferated in his mind. He could not stop thinking about how you moaned his name, how hot and humid you felt around him, how he wanted to slide his tongue on every inch of your skin. It made it difficult to focus on small talk with your colleagues. He kept feeling himself getting hard and he knew his pants were too tight for him to be able to hide it.

So he waited until you finished your drink and stole you away. Your place was just a short walk from the building. You made it there quickly, miraculously able to hold off making out and grinding against each other.

Now the front door is locked and you are alone.

Changbin stares at you in the darkness of the hallway. You look so fucking beautiful with your hair still a little dischelved from earlier, your lipstick tinting your lips a shade darker, your heels giving your legs the shape of heaven.

You take a step towards him and grab his hand, leading him to your bedroom. It’s small and cozy, most of the space occupied by a large bed - how perfect. It is unmade, the sheets tangled, a smell of lavender lingering in the air.

You aim for a kiss but Changbin shakes his head.

“Open a light,” he says. “I want to see you.”

You nod and turn on the lamp on your bedside table. It infuses the room in a soft yellow glow, and Changbin licks his lips. Perfect.

In a blur you find each other again, kissing passionately, feverishly. Changbin slides his tongue inside your mouth, toying with yours, drawing soft sighs from you. It’s a delightful sound he already likes too much. Eagerly, you remove his jacket, your hands palming his chest over the material of his shirt, and Changbin unbuttons it impatiently.

“Fuck, you look so fucking good,” you chuckle at the sight of his naked chest, immediately tracing the defined muscles with your finger tips.

His cock is already hard as a rock, pushing against his pants, but he barely thinks about it - he only sees you.

He takes a deep breath, because he wants to pace himself, because he wants to take his time with you this time. You made him impatient before, you clenched around his cock too tight, you sounded too good - but he won’t let it happen again. So he tilts your head to the left so he can kiss your neck, slowly unzipping your dress. His fingers brush the skin of your back at the same time, and he feels you shiver against him.

The dress falls on the ground, and Changbin takes a step back to admire your lingerie, simple black lace that makes the blood rush to his cock so hard he has no choice but to palm it, just to relieve it a little.

“You like?” you say cheekily.

“I’m trying to decide if I want to keep it on you or rip it off,” he answers, shaking his head.

You chuckle. “Want me to decide for you?”

Darkness flashes in Changbin’s eyes, and he closes the distance between you again, staring down at you.

“Listen, pet,” he growls. “Don’t think you have any control here. I make the decisions and you listen. If you don’t there will be consequences.”

The smile doesn’t disappear from your face, and Changbin can see that you like it when he speaks to you this way.

“A dom, huh?” you breathe. “How predictable.”

“Just as predictable that a brat like you is a sub.”

You pout. “Just for you tonight, sir.”

You slide a hand in his air and lean against his ear to whisper.

“One day you’ll find yourself handcuffed to the head of this bed and begging me to let you come. But let’s stick to tonight’s narrative.”

Changbin can’t help but chuckle at your words, feeling something swell in his chest. He likes you a little too much, and it makes no sense. Hours ago the only emotion you created in him was anger. But then again he hadn’t really met you.

“That’s right, pet,” he nods, taking a fistful of your hair. “Now you lay down on the bed like a good girl before I make you, huh?”

You nod, and Changbin follows you to the bed, when you lay down. He removes the rest of his clothes, letting his cock spring free, and catches you staring at it, licking your lips. He chuckles.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get your taste. But I’m having mine first.”

He pulls your legs so you are laying on the edge of the bed, spreading your legs so can stand between them. He bends forward to kiss you, stroking your hair, and carefully removes your bra. You sigh as he circles his thumb over your sensitive nipples, massaging the other breast in his hand. Slowly, Changbin makes his way down your neck, his tongue drinking in your skin. He leaves a few kisses on your breasts, then on your stomach, and then hovers over your panties.

“Changbin…” you sigh.

“Still all wet and full of me, are you, pet? Is this sensitive?”

He pushes his index on the lace material, sending a shiver through your body.

“Y-yes. Fuck, Changbin, stop teasing me.”

“I don’t think so.”

He kisses you above the fabric, sliding his tongue over it. Even that way he can taste you, your wetness drenching your panties, and Changbin can feel his cock twitch. Fuck, he cannot wait to be inside of you again - but he has to be patient.

“So good to me, pet. So good. Let’s remove that.”

He takes off your panties and pushes your legs apart, taking in the sight of your soaked cunt, all throbbing and waiting for him. He hums appreciatively, unable to stop himself from stroking his cock at the same time.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous. Now you don’t come without me telling you so, right, pet? You understand the rules?”

“Yes, sir,” you breathe out.

From your voice and the way you are already heavily breathing, he can sense you are desperate for contact. Changbin finds himself unable to really torture you much longer, and sinks his lips into your cunt.

You immediately let out a whimper, arching your back against his mouth. Changbin holds your legs apart, swirling his tongue around your clit, slurping you in. Your taste instantly gets him drunk, the feel of your juices coating his chin making him want to possess you right this second. But it feels too good to feel you writhing against his caresses, moaning his name. You grab his hair, pulling it, and it hurts a little but it’s the best kind of pain.

“Look at that mess, pet,” he smiles against your pussy. “Has anyone ever eaten you out properly before?”

“Fuck,” you breathe, and he stares at the way your chest moves, your nipples hard. It’s such a beautiful sight he gives your clit a few licks to reward you. “Nothing like you, Changbin. You’re - fuck - you’re making out with my pussy so well…”

“Good, pet,” he chuckles. “Keep it up with the praise and I’ll let you come.”

“Changbin, please…”

He slides his tongue inside of you, teasing your entrance, and he can feel you clenching even this way - you must be close to coming, but you’re holding on, and he’s proud of you. He could edge you like this all night, if only his cock wasn’t starting to hurt him, aching for you.

“Fuck, your tongue, Changbin - keep licking me like that, please, don’t stop…”

“You want to come, pet?”

“Yes, please, c-can I?”

As he inserts two fingers inside of you and starts pumping them, his tongue pressed against your clit, you cry out in pleasure, pulling his hair.

“Changbin, fuck, I can’t - I can’t -”

“Come, pet, come all over my mouth.”

And just like that you do, your hips bucking under his touch, your pussy throbbing in his mouth. He can feel your walls tighten, your legs trembling, and he doesn’t stop his caresses throughout your orgasm, so you can ride it as long as you can.

Once you breathe out, your body sinking into the mattress, Changbin steps back, placing a kiss on the inside of your thigh. He wipes your juices off his chin and stands up to push your hair away from your face. You already look fucked out, your skin covered in a thin layer of sweat, your eyes glassy.

“Holy fuck, that was amazing,” you say softly.

“It’s not over, pet,” he replies, kissing your pretty lips.

“Can I suck your cock, now?”

“You’re asking so nicely, pet. How can I say no?”

You grin, looking down at his erect cock. Changbin takes a deep breath, letting you smear the pre-cum on the tip and giving it a few tentative strokes.

“I like your cock a lot, y’know?” you tell him. “So pretty and thick.”

Changbin slides a hand through his hair, easing his breathing, as you take him in your mouth. You suck him well, bobbing your head up and down, taking the time to wrap your tongue around him. Your hand accompanies your movements, stroking his base, and Changbin groans at the sensation. He would close his eyes and bask in the pleasure you’re giving him if only it wasn’t so intoxicating to keep looking at you. Such a beautiful sight, seeing you suck him off like that after having eaten your sweet cunt.

“Am I doing good, sir?” you ask, slapping his cock on your tongue.

Changbin grins. “Doing fantastic, pet. I knew you would look good wrapped around my cock, but it’s even better.”

“Did you think about it a lot?” you ask.

He frowns.

“You saw my picture,” you say, arching an eyebrow. “Did you imagine me with my cock in your mouth before, or did you just hate my guts?”

Changbin laughs, holding your hair. “I think I spent most of my energy hating you so I wouldn’t think about you sucking me off.”

“Hm,” you say with a satisfied smirk. “If I’d known what you looked like I would’ve come to give you a blowjob under your desk way before.”

“Never too late,” he grins. “If you do that for me I might bend you over my desk afterwards.”

You giggle, and Changbin feels that warmth in his chest again. He’s starting to like you a little too much, and it has nothing to do with the fact that his balls deep inside your mouth right now. You’re funny. Witty. Pretty. Even worse, you’re fun.

“For now let’s focus, pet, yeah?” he says. “This is good, but I want more from that pretty mouth.”

He guides you back, gesturing you to lay down on the bed upside down. Your head placed on the edge of it, he towers over you.

“You tell me if this is too much,” he whispers to you, and you nod - but you just open your mouth wide for him.

He guides his cock back in your mouth, able to move as much as he wants. You gag a little as he goes deep in your throat, but you’re taking him well - and so, Changbin accelerates. He fucks your mouth, perhaps a little too roughly, but it feels so fucking good he can’t stop.

“Fuck, look at how you swallow my cock, pet,” he says, breathing hard.

“It’s because you fuck my mouth so good, sir,” you answer.

He grins, bucking his hips, staring at your gorgeous body as he does. You’re touching yourself at the same time, your fingers pressed against your clit. Your eyes are watering, the saliva around your lips making his thrusts easier, and he’s dangerously close to exploding in your mouth.

“Such a good little pet,” he groans. “Do you remember when I filled that cunt of yours, earlier?”

You nod around his cock.

“This time I’ll make you choke on my cum,” he smiles.

You moan, the vibration sending him on the edge, and Changbin has to pull out from your mouth.

“Don’t move,” he grunts. “I need to fuck you.”

He climbs on top of you on the bed, making sure your head is against the mattress, and pushes into you without hesitation. It’s like it brings him clarity again, as much as the feel of you around his cock is making him more insane.

“God, this fucking cunt. I’m never getting tired of it,” he chuckles.

“Yes, fuck me deep,” you moan. “Make me feel that beautiful cock of yours.”

He thrusts his hips inside of you, stretching you deeper and deeper. You pant against him, your nails digging into the skin of his back, but Changbin doesn’t care. He pounds into you, feeling sweaty and drunk on the scent and taste of you.

“C-Changbin, fuck, yes…”

“Where’s that praise, pet? I need to hear it,” he grunts.

“I - I’m trying…”

“Am I fucking you dumb, or what? Keep talking.”

But he’s fucking so fast and sharp, and it’s difficult for you to find the words. Changbin can only stare at your face, your closed eyes, your parted mouth. Your lips are a little bruised, your hair a mess, your makeup smudged. You look like a dream.

“F-fucking me so good,” you breathe. “I love your cock inside of me. Please, k-keep fucking me…”

You’re clenching around him tightly, so close to your orgasm, and so is Changbin - he’s breathing fast, trying to hold off, but it’s getting more and more difficult. Once he’s inside of you he can’t think straight, and he’s getting impatient.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he slips out, your name feeling smooth on his lips. “I’m going to come. Let’s do it together, yeah?”

“Y-yes, please…”

How he wanted to come in your mouth - but his cock does not want to listen, and he explores inside of you instead for the second time tonight. You come as well, shaking around him as he fills you up, moaning his name loudly, the sound echoing in the room.

Changbin wipes his forehead, staying inside of you for another second. He tries to catch his breath, and opens his eyes to look at you. You are already staring at him, smiling softly.

“I thought you wanted to come in my mouth?” you tease him.

He chuckles, shaking his head. “You really get on my last nerve, you know that?”

You both laugh.

It’s yet another day at work.

You twirl on your deskchair, typing your translation on a fair rhythm. You’re not particularly fast today, but you’re not slow, either.

It’s just that your thoughts are a little elsewhere.

You take a break to take a sip of coffee, and an email notification appears on your screen.

Seo Changbin.

You push your tongue against your cheek, smirking devilishly to yourself. You sent him a particularly fiery email a few minutes ago, and you can’t wait to see his answer. You click a little too fast on your inbox.

Dear Y/LN,

Your email has come to my attention but I am in a meeting and unfortunately cannot attend to your request. Please rest assured it will be my top priority once I get back to my office. I will make sure to personally attend to these matters.

Ever yours,

Seo Changbin

You bite your lip, trying to be discreet as you chuckle. You scroll down to see the email you’d sent him. Just a few meaningless words about asking for clarification about the dress code, and a picture attached. A picture you’ve taken from under your desk, displaying your blatant lack of underwear.

You’re still playing a dangerous game - it’s just of another kind.

You send him a quick reply, your eyes shining.

Looking forward to your collaboration.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. If you had fun, please consider leaving a comment below or reblogging the one shot. Don't hesitate to use the tags. Big hugs and see you next time! ♡

• permanent taglist: @ughbehavior ; @upallnight-s ; @changbinluvr ; @rosexjimin ; @nasiaisan ; @lotus-dly ; @cb97percent ; @j-0ne25 ; @hwan-g ; @jhopesucker ; @leedunno ; @septicrebel ; @imtoooyoungforthisshit ; @sikebishes ; @sai-kida134 ; @sstarryoong ; @alexis-reads-fics ; @luvsskz ; @beautifulcolorgarden

1K notes · View notes

oopsiedaisiesbaby · 11 days ago

Note

I know you usually write quite grounded stuff but what about a world where everyone has a little innate magic, even if most can't use it. And if someone wished hard enough, or was stressed enough, or did the wrong combinations of things and words, little changes could happen. Maybe you have blue hair for a while until a magical illness passes. Maybe you can only tell the truth until you say the right counter spell, or someone de-ages for a bit when they're feeling too stressed to think.

There are two scenarios that I think would work really, really well for this world:

1. One of the boys wakes up with a pussy

2. One of the boys wakes up with the urge to obey every command, even sarcastic ones. ( "Go fuck yourself" and "blow me" are quickly discovered)

Oooh I have never written anything with even a hint of fantasticalness to it… let’s do this 😍 Full disclosure… it’s the middle of the night and I’ve just finished a 6 hour drive, you’ve been warned 😘

1. Sorry not sorry, but Gale is waking up with a magical vagina and the only thing to cure it is getting dicked down. I know I’ve seen a fic like this in Hangster fandom, so apologies if there’s similarities, it’s wholly unintentional. Unedited rough draft beginning of a fic below… second half coming soon… just like Gale 😉

2. Notoriously allergic to authority John is definitely getting this curse because this would be such a comical way for him to find out how much he likes being bossed around by Gale. I really wanna write this too, fingers crossed my brain eventually cooperates!

To say that the war was stressful would be the grossest understatement of the century.

Even Gale, ice cold and forever calmer than the evening air before a storm, had been shaken by that first mission. However, he quickly learned how to lock it down and move forward like he did with everything else.

Stress was inconsequential and unnecessary to his existence. He wasn’t going to let it get in his way and end up with a spontaneous stress affect like Hambone who woke up with blue hair, or Crank who spent a whole day ribbiting like a frog every time he tried to talk.

Gale was above that kind of stress, knew how to get ahead of it or handle it when he couldn’t prevent it. Until he didn’t.

It took him an embarrassingly long time to realize something was off. He was always hyper aware of his body, it came with being a great pilot.

Gale was tired that morning though. Had flown back to back missions that had both gone horribly awry.

Made it all the way to the bathroom to pee before he realized something pretty integral to his person was missing as he went to grab his dick and wrapped his fist around air. He frowned, blinking down at his cock before realizing it wasn’t even there.

Panic seized him as he pressed his hand where his dick should have been and felt nothing but pubes and a flat surface. He let his fingers drift between his legs where his balls should have been and jolted as his rough fingertips parted soft skin and nudged up against something unbearably sensitive. He gasped, yanking his hand away from his apparent vagina and accidentally hit John’s arm where he was pissing in the urinal next to Gale.

“What the hell are you br-” John cut off suddenly, eyes going wide and lips parting in surprise as he noticed Gale’s lack of a penis almost immediately. “Gale, that’s - are you - wh- fuuuck.”

Gale shrugged helplessly, unable to answer any of John’s unasked questions. Nobody knew how or why spontaneous stress affects happened, they just did. The only cure was to lessen stress. Gale was a goddamned bomber pilot in the Second World War though.

He still needed to pee.

He shouldered into a stall, John following close behind him and standing in the way of Gale shutting the door behind him. Gale didn’t care, he sat on the toilet and started peeing, slumping in relief at the sudden release. He glanced up at John, unsurprised to see that his dick was still out.

“Can you put that away?” Gale asked, raising an eyebrow when John’s brow furrowed in confusion.

That’s all it seemed to take before John’s mouth dropped into an understanding “o” and he tucked himself back into his pants.

“We gotta get you to medical,” John insisted as he watched Gale figure out wiping after peeing.

“Absolutely not,” Gale bristled. No fucking way was he letting this particular spontaneous stresss affect get around base. His squadron would never follow an order again.

“Buck,” John started, like he had any room to be telling Gale how to handle his business after he goaded some RAF pilots into a fight just the night before. “I really -”

“No,” Gale snapped, his tone final. They were not going to tell a soul about this. “I just need to lower my stress and I’ll be fine.”

Except Gale woke up the next day with his magical vagina still very firmly in place. He shook his head at John’s raised eyebrow, ignoring his pointed look and went about his business.

As the days wore on, Gale’s irritation grew at every knowing, disappointed look John gave him. His frustration mounted each time he had to sit down to pee. He felt wretched every time his pants rode up and the seam of his pants pressed against him just right.

He was so sensitive physically as well as emotionally as the stress didn’t lessen, it just built and built into an itching, burning crescendo until he was snapping at Ken forcing everyone around them to freeze at just how out of character it was. John whistled before grabbing him by the shoulders, apologizing on his behalf and guiding him away from the scene he had just created.

“We have got to get a handle on this, Buck,” John insisted, rubbing his hands up and down Gale’s arms, over his jacket. “This has gone on long enough, don’t you think?”

Gale simply shrugged, determined to avoid ever having to actually talk about it.

“C’mon, Buck,” John urged. “We gotta get your stress down, and I know the most sure fire way to do it.”

Gale stopped in his tracks, whirling around on John, furious to find out he’d been withholding information from him. That’s when he noticed the filthy smirk on John’s lips.

Shoving him away, Gale stormed off tossing an, “Absolutely not,” over his shoulder only to receive a delighted cackle.

The dirty bastard.

Gale thought his rejection would be enough. He should’ve known John would test his limits like he was getting paid to do so though.

At the pub he leaned into Gale’s space and asked what it was like to get wet. In the officer’s mess, he leaned back in his chair and asked if Gale had tried fingering himself much to Gale and Jack’s chagrin.

It was when he asked what Gale thought about eating pussy one evening during a movie, his obscenely large tongue sliding out to sweep across his top lip suggestively, disturbing his mustache that had Gale squirming. Something between his legs tingled pleasantly and Gale could feel himself flushing. John’s teasing grin slipping into smirking awareness did nothing to quell the staticky interest buzzing through Gale’s belly and centralizing between his clenching thighs with slick interest.

“That’s it, baby?” John teased, tossing an arm behind Gale and leaning in real close. “You want someone to bury their face between those incredible thighs and eat you out until your legs are shaking, huh?”

It shouldn’t have been so hot. John was his best friend, John was just teasing him for getting himself such a ridiculous spontaneous stress affect. He was just so wound up though.

Gale cleared his throat, directing his attention back to the screen as he shifted in his seat, his underwear already sticking to him uncomfortably.

“Shit,” John cursed like he too was surprised by how affected Gale was. He pressed his forehead against Gale’s temple making Gale feel grateful they were in the back row. “Know you’d taste so sweet too, all hot and wet and needy.”

John groaned quietly and Gale felt the hot gust of his breath before John was pressing his mouth against the hinge of his jaw. This had already gone too far, he crossed his legs.

“No,” John pleaded, his hand shooting out to cup between Gale’s legs and press.

Gale gasped at the overwhelming pleasure as it pressed the seam of his pants, right up against where he needed it most. He tossed his head back against John’s arm that was still behind him, gasping up at the ceiling quietly.

“I would make it so good for you, baby,” John promised, rubbing his fingers against Gale through his pants and Gale fought back a moan at how sensitive he felt between his legs. “Make you come with my mouth first before slipping you a couple of fingers.”

The whispers were filthy and hot in Gale’s ear as he started to rock his hips against John’s hand. Electric shocks, jolting through him with each press. He nearly groaned with relief when John moved his hand to start unbuckling Gale’s belt and undoing his fly before slipping his hand inside of Gale’s skivvies. They both whimpered as John’s rough fingers slipped between his wet lips and started rubbing at his painfully swollen clit.

“God,” John moaned quietly against the skin of his jaw, mustache scraping Gale’s sensitive skin.

Gale let his eyes flutter closed, panting up at the ceiling as electricity built dangerously between his legs, ready to burst and strike out as John continued to move his fingers in tight, quick circles over his clit.

“Just know your pussy’s so fucking tight,” John told him, licking at the taught skin of his jaw. “Would probably hurt but I’d love it. Christ, wanna feel just how wet you are around my cock.”

Gale was embarrassingly soaked, the slick sound of John’s fingers rubbing at his clit was deafeningly loud in the limited space between them. Apparently it was loud enough to be heard outside of the space between them too.

“What the hell is wrong with you two?” Jack snapped, a look of horror pinching his face as he turned around in his seat to glare at them pointedly.

John unashamedly took his hand out of Gale’s pants and it nearly had Gale sobbing at the lack of release of the pressure built between his legs. Jack turned back around in his seat as Gale buttoned his pants back up and fixed his belt.

His pussy throbbed as he watched John slip his wet fingers into his mouth and suck lewdly. Gale was going to get them a weekend pass come he’ll or high water.

Part 2 coming to your screens soon 😘

#oopsieanswers #mota #clegan #masters of the air #john egan #gale cleven

29 notes · View notes

pandenewie · 1 year ago

Text

RULE THREE: No Kissing (on the lips)

Prev | Masterlist | Next

“Dude, since when could you draw like that?”

The sudden question from Jake leaves Niki stunned for a second. What is he talking about? He hasn’t drawn anything serious since freshman year.

“Is it a self-portrait?” Sunoo asks, making Niki’s eyes widen. Did they find it? He spins around to see Jake and Sunoo looking intensely at an opened copy of The Promised Neverland. Niki had been rereading it recently and knew it was the perfect place to keep the drawing Y/n had given him… apparently, he was wrong.

“Stop snooping through my stuff.” Niki scowls, ripping the book from their grasp (careful not to crinkle the drawing.) “Woah, no need to get so pissy. It’s cool to see your art; you never draw anymore.” Jake says sincerely. “It’s not mine… Y/n drew it.” Niki mumbles, the mention of their name causing Jake and Sunoo to look at each other with a smirk. “Aww cute! He’s using it as a bookmark!” Sunoo gushes.

“You should invite them to come bowling with us this weekend!” Jake exclaims. “Why the hell would I do that? They’d be so uncomfortable.” Niki grumbles defensively. “No, they wouldn’t! Sunghoon’s bringing Gaeul, come on, it’ll be fun!”

“He’s bringing his dog bowling?” Niki asks, disgusted.

“Not his dog, his girlfriend.”

“I still think that’s really weird by the way.” Sunoo chimes in. “That’s like Niki dating someone named Bisco. Or like you dating someone named Layla.”

“Okay, let’s not judge Hoon for his dating preferences. He’s bringing Gaeul so you should bring Y/n. It’s a great way to integrate them into the group!” Jake attempts to convince him. The thought of Y/n getting involved with his friend group terrifies Niki. The two of them could barely keep it together during lunch - how are they supposed to keep this act up for an entire evening? And if the relationship gets exposed as fake, Niki will never live it down.

On the other hand, he doesn’t want to seem like a possessive asshole who’s gatekeeping his relationship. The guys are already on the fence about whether it’s real or not, keeping Y/n hidden away could only add fuel to the flame.

“Okay… I’ll invite them. But I can’t promise they’ll show. And if you guys pull that same crap you did at lunch we’re leaving immediately.”

“Y/N!”

The sudden sound of their name being yelled through the halls cuts off Y/n’s conversation. Y/n turns to see Niki jogging up to their group. “Oh, hi Riki.” Y/n smiles, the mention of his real name causing the girls to look at each other with wide eyes. “Are you free this Saturday?” The question was unexpected and caused Y/n’s eyebrows to furrow with confusion. Noticing this, Niki elaborates: “My friends and I are going bowling and they told me to invite you… it’s all good if you’ve got plans since it’s kind of last minute but… I don't know, it’d be fun if you could come.” He rambles, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. Eunchae snorts slightly at the boy's out-of-character shyness, earning a glare from Y/n. “I’d love to go.” They smile, relief washing over Niki’s body as the words fall past their lips.

“You have the audacity to ask Y/n to go bowling and not invite us as well?” Eunchae asks, gesturing between herself and Danielle. “Well, did you want to come?” Niki asks. “No.” The girl shrugs simply.

“Why would you get upset about me not asking if you were just going to reject me anyway?”

“It’s your punishment for not asking in the first place!”

"Okay, I think we should go before this escalates any further." Danielle interrupts, pulling Eunchae away from Niki. "Are you coming Y/n? Or are you two eating lunch together again?" She continues, her eyes darting to Niki. Y/n looks at Niki for confirmation, causing him to shake his head with a smile. "Go ahead, I've probably been stealing you too much recently… I'll see you this weekend, anyway." He says, ruffling Y/n's hair before turning around to find his friends.

As Y/n turns back to their friends, their eyes immediately roll at the expressions on their faces. "Don't you even start." Y/n warns, their words falling on deaf ears as the two girls begin to awe at the affection they just witnessed.

"That was so cute! He definitely has a crush on you." Danielle teases. "He definitely does not. We have a deal and real feelings are not a part of this." Y/n argues, earning a scoff from Eunchae. "If either of you think that you're gonna stick to whatever rules you planned, you're both much dumber than I thought," She says. "Now come on, I want to get to the vending machine before all the good stuff is gone."

Y/n doesn't go out a lot. Not in a weird way, they just happen to spend a lot of their time at home. And in the circumstances where they do leave the house, it is usually with the comfort of Danielle and Eunchae - not their fake boyfriend and his entire friend group.

"If you start to feel uncomfortable, just tell me and we'll leave, okay?" Niki asks. He had gone through the effort of picking Y/n up from their house (something Sunghoon has insisted all good boyfriends should do) and the two had caught the bus together to the bowling place.

"You don't have to worry about me, just have fun with your friends." Y/n reassures. Their words cause Niki to look at them with a deadpan expression. "Okay fine, I promise I'll tell you if I get uncomfortable." They add, earning an assertive nod from Niki.

As soon as Niki's friends are spotted, he grabs Y/n's hand tightly, leading them towards the group.

"So the lovebirds finally showed up, huh?" Heeseung teases, immediately earning a slap on the head from Jay. "Sorry about him, we're glad you could make it, Y/n." Jay says. “It’s okay… thanks for inviting me.” Y/n smiles politely before turning to the only member of the group they don’t recognise.

"I'm Gaeul, Sunghoon's girlfriend." The girl says, waving slightly. Y/n waves back before turning to Niki, their eyebrows furrowed ever-so-slightly. "Wait, didn't you say his dog was called-"

"Anyway, should we start bowling?" Niki asks, interrupting Y/n’s question. “Come on, let’s go pick our shoes!” He continues, dragging Y/n by the hand.

Since half the group has never gone bowling before, they decide it’s best to split into teams - with Niki, Y/n, Jungwon and Sunoo on one team and Heeseung, Jay, Jake, Sunghoon and Gaeul on another team. Juniors vs Seniors.

“I feel like these teams are a little uneven…” Jungwon points out, looking at the difference in skills between each team. “It’s fine, Sunghoon will bring them down.” Niki laughs, earning an offended scoff from Sunghoon. “Yah! Have you seen me bowl? Tell him, babe.” Sunghoon points, turning to Gaeul for reassurance. “Well… you can definitely hit some of the pins.” Gaeul replies sympathetically. “I’ll show you.” Sunghoon challenges, only making his friends laugh further at his competitiveness.

Y/n quickly finds that they suck at bowling. Niki, on the other hand, is practically a prodigy. He even joked at one point about putting the gutters up and using the kiddy ramp to “give them a fair shot”. His teasing only made Y/n even more determined to get a strike but at this rate, that won’t be happening any time soon.

“Come on, try it with this one.” Niki reassures, walking towards Y/n, a cherry red bowling ball perched carefully between his palms. “Isn’t that one heavier?” Y/n questions, attempting to take the ball from Niki’s grip. As soon as they get a taste of the weight, however, they immediately give it back to the ball. “Yeah, no. I’ll break my wrists trying to use that.” They laugh, patting Niki’s arm before walking to grab their regular ball.

“You can do it, Y/n!” Sunoo cheers. “Y/n, fighting!” Jungwon adds, making Y/n laugh as they get ready to bowl. Y/n gets into position, aiming as best they can before carefully rolling the ball down the lane - mustering as much power their body can handle.

Everyone watches eagerly as the bowling ball rolls slowly down the lane, starting to lean towards the left gutter as it goes along. “Come on, come on.” Niki please quietly, praying he has somehow gained telekinesis that can lure Y/n's ball back to the centre. Although that doesn't happen, the ball does somehow manage to keep out of the gutter, knocking down the far two pins before rolling off.

“I got something!” Y/n exclaims, jumping with excitement. Their team matches their enthusiasm, jumping out of their seats to cheer for their member. Niki runs towards Y/n without thinking, picking them up in a bone-crushing hug and spinning them around as if they've just scored the winning point.

“Yah! Let them hit the rest of them, you idiot!” Jay scolds playfully, a look of fondness present in his eyes. “Okay, if you get a strike I'm gonna throw you in the air.” Sunghoon says bitterly, making Gaeul laugh. “It’s not a competition, babe.” She says, patting his chest reassuringly. “It is now. I'm not gonna let some 17-year-old out-boyfriend me.” He scowls, only making her laugh more.

“Okay, okay, you can put me down now.” Y/n laughs, patting Niki’s shoulder as he lowers them back onto the ground. “You can do this.” Niki cheers quietly, pressing a chaste kiss to the top of Y/n’s head before walking back to his seat.

Y/n can’t do this. It's as if all their luck and bowling skills left their body the second those two pins hit the polished pine floorboards. They miss. By quite a long shot, as well. “Nice try, Y/n!” Jungwon exclaims. “If it makes you feel any better, Sunoo was making you guys lose anyway.” Jake says, attempting to reassure Y/n. “Uh, rude.” Sunoo scowls. “Come on Y/n, don’t let him turn us against each other.” He continues, shielding Y/n from Jake.

Eventually, the bowling comes to an end, with the seniors absolutely thrashing the younger team. No one expected a different outcome - the other team was far more experienced. Jungwon however, claimed that their team had better chemistry and therefore, they were the real winners.

“Niki, you need a ride?” Jay asks, twirling his car keys around his fingers. Niki turns to look at Y/n, unsure of what to do. “Go ahead, my bus is almost here, anyway.” Y/n smiles. Unsure, Niki turns back to Jay. “Nah, I’ve gotta make sure Y/n gets back.” His words cause the boys to break into a chorus of oohs, causing Niki to roll his eyes. “Uh… yeah, I don’t need a ride either. Gotta make sure Gaeul gets back safe.” Sunghoon coughs, causing the group to erupt into fits of laughter.

As the group splits up, Niki and Y/n begin walking to the bus stop. “You could’ve just gotten a ride, you know? I can get myself home.” Y/n mumbles. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I did that?” Niki scoffs, nudging his shoulder against theirs Y/n goes to remind him that he isn’t actually their boyfriend but for some reason, the words don’t come out.

The peaceful silence of the bus ride is suddenly cut short by a grumbling sound coming from Y/n’s stomach. The two pause to look at each other for a moment, both silently wondering whose stomach it was before their thinking is cut off by yet another growl.

“Sorry… I haven’t eaten much today.” Y/n mumbles, sheepishly, their words almost immediately being waved off by Niki. “It’s okay, we were a bit busy with bowling… did you want to get something to eat?” He asks. Y/n seems apprehensive at his words, looking up to check how far away their stop is. “There’s this really cool sushi place down the street from my house… my treat.” Niki adds, wiggling his eyebrows as he attempts to convince them.

Y/n would be a fool to pass up sushi. Free sushi, at that.

As soon as the sushi roll hit Y/n’s tongue, it was as if the taste had exploded in their mouth. Niki was right to recommend this place, the sushi is amazing. Y/n had largely underestimated how hungry they were.

“Slow down before you choke!” Niki laughs, reaching forward to hold Y/n’s chopsticks away from their face - waiting for them to finish their current mouthful before letting go. Y/n rolls their eyes, shoving another sushi roll between their lips.

“Did you have fun today?” Niki asks, digging into his meal. Although he had tried his best to keep his attention on Y/n throughout the day, being around the boys occasionally distracted him. Hopefully, Y/n didn’t feel ignored. Niki’s overthinking gets cut off by a wide grin from Y/n. “I did! The only people I really hang out with are Danielle and Eunchae… and I guess you, now. So it was fun to get to know new people and do something I haven’t done before… even if I ended up being really bad at bowling.” Y/n says, laughing slightly as they think back at their failed attempt at bowling. “That’s good, I was scared the guys were gonna say or do something and make things weird.” Niki sighs.

“I never really asked… why are your friends so obsessed with you being in a relationship, anyway?” Y/n asks, causing Niki’s eyebrows to furrow. “I don’t really know, I guess it’s because I’m the only one in the group who’s never been in one… unless you count the whole thing with Eunchae.” Y/n nods at Niki’s words. “Any particular reason?”

Niki doesn’t remember the last time someone asked about his love life in a way that wasn’t to tease him. “At first I just wasn’t that interested. I didn’t want to just date for the sake of dating and I was never put in the position where a relationship would naturally happen so I just… didn’t.” He shrugs, the words spilling from his lips a lot easier than he thought they would. Y/n smiles at this, almost like they completely understand what he means. “You say at first, what changed?” They ask sweetly.

The extra question causes a subtle blush to spread across Niki’s cheeks. He considers dodging the question and changing the topic but the way Y/n’s eyes sparkle with curiosity somehow tricks his brain into answering.

“Ah… it’s kinda dumb. Jake was in a relationship with a girl called Lily… you probably remember seeing them around school together.” Niki starts, earning a nod from Y/n. “Well, they were basically like… the it-couple in our friend group. Everyone else would date around, get together, break up but they were consistent. For a while, it felt like they were going to be together forever. And then one day, they were done. Nothing bad had happened, no one did or said anything, they just broke up. And that kind of freaked me out because… they were so in love, you know? And suddenly… they weren’t. I don’t want something like that happening to me.”

Y/n smiles understandingly at Niki as they take in his words. “That’s not dumb, love can be scary.” They agree. “Giving someone your heart and trusting them to not break it… I don’t know how people do it so carelessly.” Y/n admits. “Yeah… I think I’ll just be forever alone.” Niki mumbles, making Y/n snort. “We can be alone together.” They smile, causing Niki’s heart to flutter.

“How many times have I told you that you don’t have to walk me home?”

“Probably the same amount of times that I’ve told you I don’t care. You never know who or what is out here.”

“The chances of me getting attacked are very slim, Riki.”

“And with me, they’re nonexistent.”

Y/n rolls their eyes as their mini-argument subsides, letting Niki win this round. He smirks proudly, nudging Y/n’s shoulder slightly as a silent “I win” before shoving his hands in his pockets.

The pair, once again, find themselves standing outside Y/n’s house. Niki’s feet begin to drag slightly as they walk up the neatly stoned path, towards the front door. He doesn’t want them to go inside; doesn’t want the day to end just yet.

Y/n pauses, almost as if they can read his mind, and turns around to face Niki. “Today was really fun.” They smile. “You already told me that.” Niki teases, earning an eye roll in response. “Just telling you again… thanks for inviting me.”

Smiling, Niki ruffles Y/n’s hair. “You’re welcome. It was way more fun with you there.” Such a simple complement and yet Y/n still feels their face heat up at the words. “I should probably head inside…” Y/n mumbles, turning their head to look towards the door.

With Y/n turned away, Niki leans down to press a kiss against Y/n’s cheek. He’s always been pretty good at timing things but he can’t tell if this is impeccable timing or the worst case of bad luck. Y/n’s face turns just as his lips go to make contact, the feeling of their lips and not their cheek causing Niki’s eyes to widen in shock.

…

They just kissed…

Niki had his first kiss…

And it was with Y/n.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Y/n gasps, pulling away completely from Niki. They stare at each other for a moment, eyes wide as saucepans, before Niki coughs awkwardly. He turns away to look down the street as Y/n stares down at their feet.

“Oh, would you look at that, my bus is coming.” Niki lies. “Gotta run so I don’t miss it, I’ll see you at school.” He blurts out, turning and practically running back towards the street. Y/n moves just as quickly, rushing inside their house and slamming the door shut behind them.

…

What the hell just happened?

TAG LIST: @j-wyoung @thesassy-mia @luvistqrzzz @yourmyst4r @heerinnie @odisdad @wzy3ka @mrchweeee @rizzkisworld @beomsbeanie @ablackbtsstan @sweet-kisses-and-bloody-screams @kang-yeosangs-initials @wildflowermooon @k1ttylvr @pinapplefntacupss @luva1y @microwvdstrawb3rri3s @en-happiness @haechansbbg @ashiitex @nuttyenthusiastdaze @coolwitu

124 notes · View notes

alienpossession · 2 years ago

Text

"Ahahaha, yeah sir, just trying to keep up with the role, you know? As you said it yourself, cannot let other people know that I'm not myself any longer so I just play pretend being this straight Korean prick. Would've let you do anything you want to me if I know it was you from the get go, please, get in, you'll have so much more fun by being inside of me rather than going around as the little twink,"

After a while, I usually like to check out and test my various vessels which are spread across the globe. Aside from trying to know how well they integrate to human society, I find it amusing to toy around with their feelings and how easy their personality switched between their human persona and my dutiful vessels. It's also a way for me to test my power, like how well I could hide myself to be undetected by their senses which would indicate how well I could hide from other beings that might come to Earth and spoiled my fun. I find it handy to use Vince as my base body since he's loaded and despite claiming to be a very busy businessman when I first met him back then, most of his works are done by other people.

It left a lot of flexibility in his schedule so I simply head to the airport and his private jet ready to drop me anywhere I wished in a moment's notice. After I landed, I usually just dropped Vince's body in the hotel while I did my test, wearing temporary skins that my vessels wouldn't recognize as other vessels of mine and could keep me incognito. Here's what happened in the past few weeks

---

I just smirked as I quickly kneeled and get my tongue out ready to give that sweaty abs some licking it deserves. He's this close to bashed me to death, just like the real homophobic Seulgi would. I turned my incognito mode off and he directly stopped his fist a couple centimetres away from this cute university student's face I slid into earlier. Now, his fist turned into a lustful grab of my hair as he used it to rub me up and down his abs as if I'm some kind of washcloth. His lustful moan is as seductive as I remembered when I took him over in that Hongdae nightclub, and I couldn't help myself but squirted some loads into this university senior's pants while transferred myself to Seulgi through his navel

---

"Oh that was hilarious. I totally didn't see that coming. I really thought you are just one hell of an annoying new client I should endure jist because they could afford me. Totally sorry for being so hard and rude to you Sir,"

I simply smiled. Francis is a personal trainer, a succesful one at that, but I know he's not good with people that are not at least a decently-built individual yet. I slid into this fat fuck when he left Subway and I quickly devised the plot to tick Francis off. I bought some gym clothes to be in character, signed up to the gym where he worked at, asked....no....demanded to have him as my personal trainer and said all the things I know he hated. He's this close to lash out on me, I could tell, but just like the real Francis, he kept himself together. I also didn't find any flaws on the way he behaved like Francis so after about an hour, I turned my incognito mode off and he quickly realized it

"Well Sir, please just left that fat retard quickly and get into me Sir. That look doesn't fit you and I know he only drained you and made you out of breath. Please, it's been a while too since you get inside me,"

---

"Why would you do that, Sir? We are totally fool-proof, you don't have to test us. Is this random test or did you hear anything about us raising other people's suspicion? Now I feel bad for not welcoming you properly, you really played that role a bit too well to, I was this close to slap your face and called you names,"

"No no, you two are doing fine. This is just random test as I'm visiting Egypt anyway. And as for her, I just know you would hate her. Argumentative and loud gym girl that dared to talk back to you? Yeah, that's your trigger, just need to up the ante by disrespecting your mom and boy, I noticed that balled fist yo, I quickly shut off my incognito mode hahah!"

"We felt bad that you have to meet us this way. Maybe you want to slide into Farhan? You've went inside me during Mr. Olympia a couple months ago anyway, Farhan has been longing for you,"

"Well, I'm gonna do it from this chick's body so maybe let's search for somewhere private,"

---

"Master, sorry for being a bit direct but this is not an effective usage of your time. You have so many vessels, why fool around with the ruse?"

"Because I like to do it. And I can do it. Why are you the one questioning me now?"

"Sorry Master. It's just---"

"What?"

"Strip, and where's a bathroom? I need to fuck you with a mirror in sight so he can see that he's just a bottom bitch that lost thr ability to even control his own body and he's not going to influence you anymore even when I'm not inside you all the time. I will make him trapped so deep within his own mind, he wouldn't be able to leak through and influenced you any longer,"

---

"Certainly sir, everything I own belongs to you, including the bitch I'm going to visit. She's all yours. Heck, even if you want to fuck a white twink with my body, so be it, you do what you want with me and my schedule. I'm just so honored that you even bothered to come all the way down to South Africa for me,"

---

"What? Huh....I guess you played Romain a bit too well. Calm down a bit. Get hard. Fuck around more. Stop being so business-minded all the time. It gets annoying to see more of that guy surfaced you know. He's one tough cookie back when I eventually subdued him, turned out he remained tough up until now huh? Giving you a hard time to be loose and free while fooling all the people worked for him. Strip,"

"Oh wow, really? Fuck, I really am going to smash this whole thing with you inside of me during the competition. What a chance encounter this is. I really thought you were just an annoying fan and I only wasted my time here interacting with a fans, but turns out it pays off acting all nice and pretending like I'm this sweet All-American boy when you revealed yourself. Please, you can just jump right in sir, it's been a while since my navel welcomed you,"

#check up #alien possession #male possession #alien expansion #alien transference

279 notes · View notes

kaija-rayne-author · 6 months ago

Text

Hugest of sighs.

I really hate it when I can feel a special interest dying.

It's like watching something you've loved and put your everything into for however long get smaller and smaller in the distance. Until it disappears in a puff of smoke.

I can feel it happening with Dragon Age.

It's actually managed to hang on for a long time, so I guess I should just... wish it a fond farewell and let it go.

I was going to write a less acid filled version of my editorial critique/review about the gameplay preview to send to the devs, but why?

I don't get the kind of interaction I need on posts like my Dragon Age posts to help me keep the special interest alive.

The devs aren't going to listen to some internet rando like me if I did waste my time writing it. Not even if I'm actually a professional editor and this is in fact my job that I'm pretty good at.

They don't even toss me a heart on responses to their posts. And they probably wouldn't read it even if it did happen to make it through all the stuff they probably get on their feeds, anyway. Valuable professional editorial critique or not.

Before I stepped way back from social media I could easily get thousands of @ in a day. I know what they must be dealing with.

I have other things I should really be spending my time on.

Sadly, my special interest in Dragon Age has been on life-support since I saw the gameplay preview.

My DA gaming group has gone from a couple hundred people, most of whom weren't active, to waaaaay more people than I'm comfortable being social with. (I have since muted most of it and withdrawn from anything I'm just... not interested in anymore.)

I honestly feel the new look for Solas killed Solas for me. (Given I'm solavellan that's saying one hell of a lot.) For a bit there, I was hoping he'd grow on me. But apparently, I haven't been inoculated with that particular style of virulent mould yet. So it hasn't happened. Every time I saw a picture I just... cared a little less.

Where once I had the fires of a volcano inside my heart for this franchise, nothing but ash in a breeze remains.

It's always possible that something could happen to reignite my passion for it. It's happened a few times before for faded special interests. It could also be my depression talking and I'll feel completely different tomorrow. That's happened too. (So far hasn't happened in the threeish days since I wrote this. It's probably not the depression.)

But... After seeing that gameplay preview, and listening to the Q&A, and reading the Game Informer post... it may just be time to call Time of Death. As someone who loved the first three, and who absolutely marinated myself in the lore, I frankly feel betrayed. (I mean... Varric with a beard? Really? There were story significant reasons he did not, in fact, wear a beard, did they forget that? Like they forgot his bloody hair colour?)

So long, Dragon Age. It was fun while it lasted.

I truly do hope people enjoy the blathering posts I did about it when passion filled me.

I hope people truly do enjoy the new game. There's too little joy in this world and I hope with all my heart it gives you as much joy as you can handle. I'm just a little sad it won't for me. I'll always have the first three, which I do legitimately love to pieces.

I'm not even crying or upset. I just... don't care anymore.

From a professional standpoint, that's always a danger when you change a piece of media too much. There has to be a certain amount of continuity to it so it feels the same. Without that?

You lose obsessed people like me.

You lose the older gamers who loved what Dragon Age was.

And absolutely, yes, fiction does need to change. It's an integral part of the whole thing. If it doesn't change, if it doesn't adapt, it dies just as quickly as if it changes too much. I like to see change in media. It's needed in so many ways. Change can be hard to adapt to, of course. Or in some cases impossible. Shrugs.

There's a professional balance to these things. It wouldn't surprise me if I have a bit of savantism when it comes to editing and writing. I just seem to deeply understand how it all works in ways others rarely see. Looking at a novel or a game or a show from an editorial perspective is very much like looking at a 4d puzzle for me. I can instinctively see what works and what doesn't.

It's just that, in my honest professional opinion, they tried to change way too much to appeal to a different set of gamers than those of us who are a little older and have loved the feel of the first three games.

It's not the change itself I object to. I'm definitely not one of those people who thinks that DAO was the best DA ever. I've loved them all for different reasons. But they all still felt like Dragon Age. Even DA2, which a lot of people hate, still felt like a fantasy RPGish adventure. (I enjoyed it for what it was. I'd've liked to see what it could've been with more time, but for what it was, they did a great job and it was an enjoyable game).

DA4? From what we've seen so far, it doesn't even remotely feel like a fantasy RPGish adventure game. It feels like a cheap star wars/FFXIV/Fortnite knockoff designed for a much different type of gamer. (Which was actually confirmed by Epler in the Q&A. They did, in fact, design it more for younger players than those of us who have been waiting for it for however long.) Professionally, I believe that was a mistake that may cost them.

The darkspawn alone are a bloody travesty. WTAF are those things? And yes, I've seen the 'lore excuse' that it's the red lyrium making them look like bad halloween deco. I'd buy it if they were kinda spiky and had red lyrium growths and stuff like the red lyrium infected creatures in DAI. But it's like they forgot their own canon.

I dunno. It really just doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure that no matter how beautiful the backgrounds and some of the art they've just... lost me.

I guess I write these kinds of posts so others in the same boat as me know they aren't alone.

You aren't imagining it. While change is in fact good and necessary to a certain extent, they've changed it so much trying to appeal to a different market that it really doesn't feel even remotely like Dragon Age anymore.

#dragon age #dragon age series #dragon age inquisition #solas #solavellan #dragon age confessions #dragon age dreadwolf #Veilguard #Dragon Age Veilguard #ADHD #AuDHD #my adhd #adhd life #adult ADHD #autistic adult

21 notes · View notes

bassettmemes · 1 year ago

Text

A GUTS ASK MEME ISN'T A BAD IDEA, RIGHT? prompts from olivia rodrigo's sophomore album, guts (2023) — part 1/2. ↳ trigger warnings for mentions of alcohol, drugs, grooming, abusive relationships (mental/emotion, not physical), and car wrecks. some lines have been edited or omitted for clarity and comfort.

ALL-AMERICAN BITCH.

"I am light as a feather and as stiff as a board."

"I pay attention to things that most people ignore."

"I'm alright with the movies that make jokes 'bout senseless cruelty."

"I am built like a mother and a total machine."

"I feel for your every little issue, I know just what you mean."

"I make light of the darkness; I've got sun in my motherfuckin' pocket."

"I forgive and I forget."

"I know my age and I act like it."

"I got what you can't resist."

"I am light as a feather, I'm as fresh as the air."

"Coca-Cola bottles that I only use to curl my hair."

"I got class and integrity just like a goddamn Kennedy, I swear."

"I'm a perfect all-American bitch, with perfect all-American lips, and perfect all-American hips."

"I know my place, I know my place and this is it."

"I don't get angry when I'm pissed, I'm the eternal optimist."

"I scream inside to deal with it, like, "Ah"."

"I'm grateful all the time. I'm sexy and I'm kind. I'm pretty when I cry."

BAD IDEA, RIGHT?

"Haven't heard from you in a couple of months, but I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up."

"You're callin' my phone, you're all alone, and I'm sensing some undertone."

"I'm right here with all my friends, you're sending me your new address."

"I know we're done, I know we're through, but God, when I look at you, my brain goes, "Ah". Can't hear my thoughts."

"Seeing you tonight... It's a bad idea, right?"

"Fuck it, it's fine."

"Yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?"

"I only see him as a friend... The biggest lie I ever said."

"I only see him as a friend... I just tripped and fell into his bed."

"Now I'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans."

"I know I should stop, but I can't."

"I told my friends I was asleep, but I never said where or in whose sheets."

"And I pull up to your place on the second floor

"I'm sure I've seen much hotter men, but I really can't remember when."

VAMPIRE.

"Hate to give the satisfaction asking how you're doing now."

"How's the castle built off people you pretend to care about."

"Look at you, cool guy, you got it."

"I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes."

"Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise."

"I loved you truly; you gotta laugh at the stupidity."

"I've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine."

"I should've known it was strange, you only come out at night."

"I used to think I was smart, but you made me look so naïve."

"You sunk your teeth into me."

"Bloodsucker, famefucker, bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire."

"Every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news."

"You called them crazy. God I hate the way I called them crazy too."

"You're so convincing. How do you lie without flinching?"

"What a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked up little thrill."

"Can't figure out just how you do it and God knows I never will."

"Went for me and not her, 'cause girls your age know better."

"You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard? You can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart."

"I tried to help you out, now I know that I can't, 'cause how you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand."

LACY.

"[Name], oh, [Name], skin like puff pastry."

"Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of Hell?"

"Dear angel [Name], eyes white as daisies, did I ever tell you that I'm not doin' well?"

"Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time."

"It takes over my life, I see you everywhere, the sweetest torture one could bear."

"Smart, sexy [Name], I'm losin' it lately. I feel your compliments like bullets on skin."

"Dazzling starlet, Bardot reincarnate, well, aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?"

"Like ribbons in your hair, my stomach's all in knots. You got the one thing that I want."

"I try to rationalize, people are people, but, it's like you're made of angel dust."

"[Name], oh, [Name], it's like you're out to get me. You poison every little thing that I do."

"[Name], oh, [Name], I just loathe you lately."

"I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you. I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you."

BALLAD OF A HOMESCHOOLED GIRL.

"Cat got my tongue, and I don't think I get along with anyone."

"I'm on the outside of the greatest inside joke."

"I hate all my clothes. Feels like my skin doesn't fit right over my bones."

"I guess I should go. The party's done, and I'm no fun."

"I broke a glass, I tripped and fell. I told secrets I shouldn't tell

"I stumbled over all my words. I made it weird, I made it worse."

"I laughed at the wrong time, sat with the wrong guy."

"Searchin' "how to start a conversation?" on a website, like, how to flirt?"

"The morning after I panic, oh God, what did I say?"

MAKING THE BED.

"Want it, so I got it, did it, so it's done."

"Another thing I ruined, I used to do for fun."

"Another piece of plastic I could just throw away."

"Another conversation with nothing good to say. I thought it, so I said it, took it 'cause I can."

"Another day pretendin' I'm older than I am."

"Another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine."

"Another thing I forced to be a sign."

"Sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am, gettin' drunk at a club with my fair-weather friends."

"I push away all the people who know me the best, but it's me who's been makin' the bed."

"I'm so tired of bein' the girl that I am."

"Every good thing has turned into somethin' I dread."

"I'm playin' the victim so well in my head."

"But it's me who's been makin' the bed."

"Sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am, countin' all of the beautiful things I regret."

"And every night, I wake up from this one recurrin' dream, where I'm drivin' through the city, and the brakes go out on me."

"I can't stop at the red light, can't swerve off the road, I read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control."

"I tell someone I love them just as a distraction; They tell me that they love me like I'm some tourist attraction."

"They're changin' my machinery, and I just let it happen."

"I got the things I wanted, it's just not what I imagined."

92 notes · View notes

timperi-fan · 2 months ago

Note

Hey 👋🏻

You said we could ask questions so I have two:

1. I think I saw something about deleted scenes or outtakes for ILITAYH after chapter 7. Is that still a thing/a possibility? 👀

2. Have you had anymore thoughts about the timcoswan fic idea? I totally don’t reread that post and it’s tags every other day haha, that’d be weird right???

Anyway, you’re doing amazing, im so excited for the next chapter of ILITAYH. Have an amazing day or night or afternoon.

1. I sure hope so! Fran and I have both been feeling a little burnt out (IRL stuff), so we haven't discussed ILITAYH too much. But the outtakes/scrapped ideas and side plots would be fun to talk about.

Here's a scene I jotted down that we never found a smooth way to integrate:

Fran is so good at keeping the pacing consistent and the narrative from becoming too crowded. She's seriously amazing at knowing when to cut or add something 🥺 We have plenty of ideas that we both really enjoy, but ultimately set aside because including them would weaken the cohesiveness of ILITAYH's story. Fran is such a good writer, it's crazy 💕

2. TimCosWan lives in my head at all hours of the day. (Fran in particular has been big on the TimWan/Mama's boy Timmy train, haha.)

Here's a little snippet from what we have written so far:

This one has been slow going because Fran is interested in the build-up, and I'm more interested in the sex part. (Ironically, the opposite of how we feel about ILITAYH!)

I just keep thinking about Timmy thinking he's unwanted. Timmy with a chip on his shoulder and cracks in his heart that he's desperate to mend. Timmy bringing him women with pink hair and dumb tall guys because he feels drawn to people like that but he can't place why. Timmy having nights of passion because every time he tries for something more, it's not right.

Timmy being sandwiched between his two kind neighbors — the neighbors who gave him tea and snacks when he was drafting up contracts, the neighbors who never judged him for bringing home drunken flings but instead always made sure he got inside safely if he was too drunk to even unlock his front door, the neighbors who love each other so much that he kind of hates them for it but they want to share that love with him, too, and he can't tell why, doesn't understand why they'd waste their time with a mess like him.

Timmy inside of Wanda with Cosmo inside of him, being held from behind and in front, soft hands brushing his hair back, Wanda's lips on his neck, Cosmo murmuring lovely words into his shoulder — things like, "We love you so much," or "You're doing amazing," or "You look so beautiful." Things that can't possibly be true, but God, does Timmy want them to be, and he sobs as he's rocked between them, "I love you, I love you, I love you—" And it's so easy to say, it feels like he's been saying it his whole life. It feels like he's whole for the first time that he can remember. It feels like home.

*ahem*

Uh, y'know. Normal thoughts.

#fairly oddparents #timperi #timcoswan #ask #anonymous #fic: if love is the answer you're home #my writing #cw suggestive #nsft text #please feel free to ask more questions I want to talk about them forever and ever

7 notes · View notes

shsl-box-worshipper · 6 months ago

Text

So, I was rewatching the first How To Train Your Dragon movie and my mind immediately drifted to Code Lyoko (cuz of course it does), which led me to think of an interesting AU.

Code Lyoko, but set in a modern day How To Train Your Dragon setting. (Click the read more for more information about the AU cuz ohhhh boi, I infodumped hard)

Dragons are a world-wide species of animals that have learned to mostly (keyword: mostly) co-exist with humans thanks to the efforts of various cultures around the world thousands of years ago and modern preservation efforts.

Nowadays, they are viewed the same way as hawks, horses, and other useful pets: Popular and useful, but can be hard to train and can even be deadly.

Various characters in Code Lyoko actually have dragons as pets, most notably Odd since Kiwi is a Terrible Terror in this AU (And yes, it is even more of a pain for Ulrich to deal with).

Dragons, similarly to dogs and cats, aren't allowed at Kadic, but Kadic does have some dragon-related classes, a specific area on campus for them (since its kind of hard to separate tamed dragons from their owners), and some dragon lessons are integrated into otherwise normal classes.

Plot-wise, Franz, Anthea, and Aelita all had dragons. Anthea's was taken when she was kidnapped, and Aelita's got virtualized onto Lyoko along with her and Franz (there's a specific chamber in the scanner room specifically for dragons because Franz knew Aelita wouldn't leave her dragon behind no matter how hard he tried to convince her otherwise).

Franz's dragon, a battered-looking Night Fury whom he rescued from Project Carthage and who he named Odin, was instructed to stand guard of the Supercomputer and by extension, the factory as a whole.

One of the main difficulties Jeremie had to face while getting into the Factory to look for scrap initially was trying to avoid and hide from this lumbering, giant Night Fury that is the sole reason behind the Factory's ghost stories and that he had NO IDEA ABOUT.

When Jeremie finally turns on the supercomputer, he is greeted not only by an amnesiac pink-haired elf lady but is also met with a much younger and more spotted Night Fury, that wears armor that looks like if a cross between a viking and a knight, and is ALSO an amnesiac (I imagine that Lyoko will create virtual forms of any kind of creature that has some sort of consciousness, not just humans. Since dragons in the How To Train Your Dragon franchise are shown to be somewhat intelligent, I imagine that they could have more thorough and cohesive Lyoko forms than those of like, a fly).

Jeremie initially calls the Night Fury 'Spot' (Because it's covered in white patches compared to Franz's Night Fury, which just has a white patch on it's belly), but Aelita gets both her name and the name of the Night Fury back during the end of XANA Awakens, where it's revealed to be Tannlos (The Norwegian translation of Toothless, since the story of Hiccup and Toothless is considered a Nordic legend in the modern day and, like in canon, Franz liked reading Norse myths and legends to Aelita when she was a kid).

Tannlos, similarly to Aelita, lacks some of the necessary components needed to devirtualize or have any attacks (Yes, his breath weapon is gone on Lyoko and he can't even use it in the real world).

He's also really small, just large enough to have Aelita on his back and run with her, but too small to properly fly with her (he can still fly just fine tho without the extra weight).

As such, he mainly just acts as a method of ground transportation for Aelita and as a scout on Lyoko.

On that note, I guess I should talk about the other characters.

I've already talked about Odd having a Terrible Terror as a pet. He similarly tries to keep hidden from Jim, though it fails much more since a Terrible Terror is higher maintenance than a dog.

Ulrich's dad works as an executive at a company that researches dragons to develop various kinds of tech and his mom used to be a trainer in her youth. Since his family has to work with them frequently, Ulrich knows some basic techniques on dealing with dragons, despite his (initial) dislike of them.

Jeremie, conversely, has no skills regarding them, and his family doesn't own any, in fact. His survival against the Factory Night Fury is based on his own ingenuity, intelligence, and the basic tips he haggled out of Ulrich. He eventually manages to bond with the Factory Night Fury during XANA Awakens and it helps defend the factory against XANA attacks.

Yumi's family doesn't have any dragons and the Ishiyamas have a strict no pets rule along with that. However, Yumi is friends with a Monstrous Nightmare that lives in the woods, who she named Ryoji so that Yumi can talk about her openly in front of her parents. Yumi even lets Hiroki play with her since she effectively has tamed the dragon, despite not owning it legally.

A lot more of this AU has to deal with worldbuilding and how a modern society with actual dragons would work, as well as how dragons could both work with and against XANA's attacks. But I don't know if anyone is interested in this kind of stuff.

#code lyoko #lets see how the audience gauging goes #httyd #writing #alternate universe #i imagine that later in the au as part of Ulrich's character development #he gets a dragon of his own #and both he and yumi bring their dragons along to fight on Lyoko #as well as Odd and Kiwi (though I'm imagining how hilarious it would be if a version of Dog Day Afternoon happened in this AU)#oh and i haven't decided which would be funnier/make more sense for sissi #sissi hating dragons to the point of trying to get them banned from kadic #or her liking them and having a dragon that's equally as much of a bitch as she is #reposting cuz tumblr did an oopsie

17 notes · View notes

fabledresources · 1 year ago

Text

𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐆𝐔𝐓𝐒 ; part 1 of 4 total prompt collections pulled from olivia rodrigo's latest album, guts. some lyrics might have been tweaked just a bit so they flow better, but otherwise remain unchanged. feel free to adjust however necessary!

𝐀𝐋𝐋-𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇

i am light as a feather, i'm as stiff as a board.

i pay attention to things that most people ignore.

i'm alright with the movies that make jokes about senseless cruelty.

i am built like a mother and a total machine.

i feel for your every little issue.

i know just what you mean.

i make light of the darkness.

i've got sun in my motherfuckin' pocket, best believe.

i forgive, and i forget.

i know my age, and i act like it.

got what you can't resist.

i am light as a feather, i'm as fresh as the air.

coca-cola bottles that i only use to curl my hair.

i got class and integrity just like a goddamn kennedy.

i'm a perfect all-american bitch.

i know my place.

i know my place, and this is it.

i don't get angry when i'm pissed.

i'm the eternal optimist.

i scream inside to deal with it.

i'm grateful all the time

i'm sexy, and i'm kind.

i'm pretty when i cry.

𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀, 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓?

haven't heard from you in a couple of months.

i'm out right now and i'm all fucked up.

you're callin' my phone and you're all alone.

and i'm sensing some undertone.

i'm right here with all my friends.

you're sending me your new address.

i know we're done, i know we're through.

god, when i look at you…

can't hear my thoughts.

i should probably not.

seeing you tonight… it's a bad idea, right?

fuck it, it's fine.

yes, i know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

i only see him as a friend.

the biggest lie i ever said.

i only see him as a friend, i just tripped and fell into his bed.

i'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans.

i know i should stop... but i can't.

i told my friends i was asleep.

i never said where or in whose sheets.

i'm sure i've seen much hotter men, but i really can't remember when.

𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄

hate to give the satisfaction of asking how you're doing now.

how's the castle built off people you pretend to care about?

look at you, cool guy, you got it.

i see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when i close my eyes.

six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise.

i loved you truly.

you gotta laugh at the stupidity.

i've made some real big mistakes.

i've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine

i should've known it was strange.

you only come out at night.

i used to think i was smart.

you made me look so naive.

you sold me for parts.

you sunk your teeth into me.

bleedin' me dry like a goddamn vampire.

every girl i ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news

you called them crazy, god, i hate the way i called them crazy too.

you're so convincing.

how do you lie without flinching?

how do you lie?

what a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked up little thrill.

can't figure out just how you do it, and god knows i never will.

girls your age know better

you said it was true love.

you can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart.

i tried to help you out, now i know that i can't.

how you think's the kind of thing i'll never understand.

𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐘

aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?

did i ever tell you that i’m not doing well?

like perfume that you wear, i linger all the time.

it takes over my life, i see you everywhere.

the sweetest torture one could bear.

i'm losin’ it lately.

i feel your compliments likе bullets on skin.

well, aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?

it's like you're out to get me.

you poison every little thing that i do.

i just loathe you lately.

i despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you.

i despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you.

#sentence prompts #sentence starters #rp memes #roleplay memes #lyric prompts #artist: olivia rodrigo #album: guts

50 notes · View notes

blankvort · 9 months ago

Note

you've probably answered something like this but favourite songs from the stage show and i want details, GO‼️

pezberrywhoreee i cannot even begin to describe the dearth of times i have answered anything related to mean girls and the amount of times i have internally cried and screamed wanting to interrupt a conversation to talk about mean girls. i say that god is dead but you are doing his work right here. putting this under a read more because you said details and this became a study of why every song in the stage show is better than opioids and thin mints combined <333 no articulacy here just 8000+ words of vibes and ranting

first of all if cady sings a single line i am violently shoving every note of the song into a mental folder called faves in such eldritch fonts that my brain computer is halfway to summoning cthulhu whenever it loads the soundtrack. she is described as the heart of the story on the backstage casting call page for a reason and that reason is her absolutely incredible range as she struts from the plucky guitar gyrations and membranophone-focused percussion of it roars into the candid, confiding, crescendoing (and other c words you can probably guess based on the verbiage i use in dms) keys of stupid with love and then climb the vocal volcano that is apex predator and akfjskhfidbdihgshejfhiajw i love her and i love her songs and i need to shut up now i’m sorry

second (but not really because i’m still going on and on about cady i’m sorry) i’m upset abt most other productions burying cady’s fourth-wall breaks and kind of making the segue into revenge party less. i don’t know riled up?? because 1) where did my girl janis’s influence go it is so much more impactful when cady’s main reason for going along with the revenge plot and pushing it further is hearing about janis being outed from janis herself! when her main motivator becomes aaron, who she likes super superficially by the time more is better rolls around, you think wow! what a bitch! for even longer! like you don’t even have to cut the “your hair looks sexy pushed back”/”are his eyes gray or green” conversation that prods her into sending gretchen over the edge this isn’t a time issue 2) where did cady’s brain go bring me a whole box of profound regret and impulsive decisions let the people in the back hear the hows and whys of her descent into plastichood and moreover i would like her to sing more and most of all i love it when characters break the fourth wall. by that i mean i want the “sounds kind of bad right to spy on someone but they’re the first friends i’ve had and i don’t want to have none” things back because the narrative nudity and the way it follows the melody of the verses in fearless is a+++

now. my legitimate favorite songs from the stage show in chronological order

a cautionary tale: the repartee the art freaks have is elite and so are their riffs. The lyrics are 3am notes app poetry lines and that’s an amazing thing for mean girls. It’s not the typical broadway opening number but it’s rough and brash and brilliant. To me the cast of mean girls strikes the perfect balance between caricature and lived-in character and the insouciance of this song towards seriousness reflects that wonderfully. Janis assuming the worst of everyone by saying that the temptation to be popular and hot is far too great and saying that you can’t buy integrity at the mall is some nice, if blatant, foreshadowing regarding cady losing her integrity as she gets caught up in the perilous biome of shopping centers with such dangerous patrons as build-dat-bear. The last line of the chorus abruptly changing the amount of beats in the measure adds an extra kick layout fosse quality that i love too. The ending is the apotheosis of mezzo-soprano/tenor harmonization. Need both janis and damian to step on me but for different reasons. No i will not elaborate

it roars: i have a soft spot for wild life but it roars is superior in every way to me because it introduces cady, the show’s sense of humor, the cast’s incredible skill when it comes to singing and dancing (seriously i had never seen an ensemble that made me want to be ensemble before mean girls), and the perfect transition from a cautionary tale will always get me hyped. i have many thoughts about the many changes the mg script and score have gone through throughout the years but oh my god my jaw dropped at the breathtaking belting of “i have danced with the maasai, i have climbed kilimanjaro” when i first heard it mashed up with it roars and the callback the verse gets in fearless 2.0(?) totally dislocated it. Also i know that it’s a pairing so unpopular it’s basically nonexistent but hear me out when i say that it roars is just a more optimistic, afrobeat inspired version of what’s wrong with me. Cady never seems to think that it’s the student body that needs to change, she thinks she needs to fight and win to belong just as gretchen thinks she needs to serve the most powerful person in school to be deserving of… idk anything?? Of course you cannot trust me on this because i will ship cady with anyone if you give me the chance. Writing cady/the marymount girl fanfic as we speak

it roars is the first indicator that musical cady is pretty different from movie cady in that she earnestly wants to go to the us, wants to have more/better friends, wants to try high school and skateboards and rapping and starbucks venti chai. which makes sense because you know you gotta have that sick i want song so characters feel less tossed about and more thrusting into. there’s a better way to word that but i don’t have the skull size to summon a less immature dictionary right now. a curious thing about it roars, though, is that kenya, being a country and all, has high school and skateboards and rapping. no starbucks because apparently rwanda was an easier location to settle into but that’s a good thing actually nobody should support starbucks. either way you can really see that cady’s been sheltered from the realities of any society past the stone age and idolizes this incredibly abstract view of friends and people. she’s equal parts desperate and determined, artless and acute. it’s ironic, i feel that at first her speech patterns (lions and birds and stuff) seem at odds with her sub-saharan surroundings as though she’s already trying to integrate herself with this slangy teenage culture she knows nothing about and then when she finally finds herself in slangy teenage culture she compares everything to the survival-based rules of the savannah. i know this is probably for streamlining purposes but it’s also so interesting to me that her immediate reaction to her parents’ funding being cut is wow adventure wow possibilities. she knows that everybody wants connection but she doesn’t yet know why connection has to be culled by all these arbitrary rules like fashion or acting cool. like i don’t remember where i read this but some novel said that the only thing worse than being smart is being smart and sensitive because then neither the logical nor emotional explanations for any event can make sense. i swear i will find that book someday to take a photo but today i am bedridden because i walked the five or so inches from home to the grocery store

back to it roars. i hate the grammar in the line “none of my closest friends even has hands” but i love everything else about the song. the beat is so bouncy and the ostinati of the wind and brass sections are top tier. the comedic beats are underscored by cutting the music and then the vocals come back in soaring alongside the strongest bass since george perry and i could die happy if hospitals changed the flatline noise to any cady singing “so exhilarating”.

two paragraphs and we’re still going strong dead god help me. personally i feel like the best delivery of the ensemble lines have to be as obnoxious and deafening as humanly possible but i get people who feel differently. it’s just really great to me when cady is polite and confused and very presumptuous and sonja aquino’s actively going through act two of the exorcist in real time. i think that’s why danielle wade is my cady of choice too. love it when autism: the song is put through the epiglottic funnel of anxiety. also i’m wiping tears right now about the fact cady refers to phones as little screens in her first act one song and in the act two opener she’s glued to her phone because she wants attention so badly and still doesn’t feel like she has enough even though she talks about how america and the plastics are so much more than what she’s used to. Also very interesting that cady views inclusion as a game that needs to be won (and eventually comes to view baleful adoration as winning) even though she later exhibits a sort of survival of the fittest mentality that shows up as early as her mention of baboons attacking those that go near their pack. Fun fact i think her takeover of the plastics mirrors dispersal in male baboons wherein mature male baboons leave the pack they were born into to find another troop to temporarily stay in and usually if they end up replacing the alpha male of that non-natal troop they commit infanticide because then he can reproduce with the alpha male’s old mate/s. That’s not super fun but it is a fact to me. but i’ll talk about the strange views musical cady heron seems to hold about winning more in my do this thing essay which i am definitely going to write despite my best efforts to make this post under five thousand words

gonna slide the it roars reprise in here too because it’s not on the soundtrack but it still makes me feel things. “i’m sixteen just like everyone here but not like everyone here” and what if i said mean girls is the best dissection of the torturous dichotomy between being desperate to belong and being desperate to be unique. There’s a thing called theatrical exaggeration but for mental health purposes i choose to believe that north shore class of x immediately clocked cady as a weirdo utterly undeserving of trust or respect when they saw her wear socks and sandals. I know i just complained about people calling every iteration of cady boring but i feel like i haven’t seen actual hate for musical cady (at least not as much slander as i’ve seen sent to og movie and especially movie musical cady) because you can better bear witness to her most vulnerable moments when she’s singing directly at you instead of saying things in a soundproof recording studio. She’s not quitting she’s regrouping! Which is a fascinating choice of words to me because regrouping in math is basically carrying over values because they’re too much. She gets sucked into this idea that more is better even though she has to compartmentalize the information she’s learned from hostile classmates and teachers and draw connections to her experience with animals because more is not better without proper management. Also this bitch is gonna get e coli if the janitors don’t care enough to clean the slut-shaming graffiti on the wall they are not wiping down those cubicle doors

where do you belong: i love gay people. “so what if all the ducklings think you’re ugly it’s because they’ve never seen a swan” is ted talk worthy material. never getting over the fact that damian knew this girl for all of maybe one introductory french class’s worth of interaction, accused her of doing drugs, and then built her confidence back up from the seventh circle of hell. the “your mother called you baby girl?” “singing!” exchange is peak best friend banter and showcases the art freaks’ dynamic of frank, funny jerk with a tarnished heart of gold and budding broadway babe with a shocking amount of wisdom obscured by hilarity and hypocrisy. the debate team rejected damian because he was too fabulous to be deigned to one oregon-oxford role i’ve decided. i love unreliable narrators and damian shooing cady away from the mathletes as soon as she shows the barest interest in them is an entertaining way of showing that nobody in this story is free from social norms. the lunch tray percussion is something all marching bands should adopt and so are the lighting cues. janis’s reactions to damian killing his dance breaks are the best. rachel hamilton is my fave ensemble student i don’t care if she gets maybe two or three lines total. she was giving bombastic side eyes before anyone knew the word bombastic. i desperately need to know if she knew what cady was actually saying or if she thought cady was just a lion king stan asking to be canceled. damian painting everyone but his two-person clique as problematic is also peak teenage behavior. everything at that age is just finding the lesser of two evils and figuring out whether or not you want to meet the bigger evil anyways. janis deriding “the geeks and the freaks” despite being labeled as an art freak by every mg promo is also amusing and barrett and mary-kate’s deliveries of “christian believers” could send me to heaven any day they want. the ending is so satisfying to listen to and even more satisfying to watch. also i do mean it when i say that cady was adopted by the local gays in this number. are janis and damian aware that having their own table in a school that makes juniors and seniors have lunch at the same time makes them more powerful than all the politicians of the globe combined

stupid with love: ALSKAJLDJASLDAJLLKJ. stupid with love is the best musical representation of how a crush driven by hormones and being treated with the barest sense of humor and dignity can devour a person taylor swift eat your heart out. the music really sweeps you up into this story like you’re a close friend privy to even her most embarrassing thoughts and the way her love life flashing before her eyes just shuts out whatever aaron was going to say about lebron james is the funniest thing because yeah! you can be convinced you’re totally in love with someone when you’re that age while ignoring everything that makes them a well-rounded human being! the way cady’s clearly grown up in a caring household that’s so chock full of trust that her parents can’t fathom that she’d do anything remotely dangerous while having the whole house to herself for more than one hour BUT also feels like she doesn’t “get” love is super interesting to me to like most sixteen-year-olds have the idea that their parents don’t understand them sure but has she come to the conclusion that familial love isn’t enough? that she doesn’t get enough familial love anyways? that love is unknowable? does she wholeheartedly believe that she fell in love at age five? stupid with love is a song of so many possibilities and it’s as giddy and delusional as you’d expect, every emotion heightened by cady’s new brand of eloquence. fetch may never happen but calculust absolutely should. the little snippets of dialogue in between are so endearing on both cady and aaron’s ends to the point where i can forgive ms norbury clearly not knowing how to conduct a class. who’s gonna tell cady to raise her hand before she answers. i’m kidding she can do whatever she wants, even ignore the existence of multiplication. multiplication is a bitch cady i get it

we once again see that cady is determined almost to the point of self-destruction and that she’s desperate to live a ‘normal’ life by getting together with the normalest boy of all time and the song so perfectly sets up why we should care about cady and aaron as a couple–he’s the only person thus far to not even suggest what she should think/do, encouraging her in a teasing way to be herself (ie smart) instead of telling her to be dumber so he can feel better about himself. cadaaron is the only straight ship ever argue with the wall. also the instrumental on its own is literally such a bop?? i’d drop a grand piano on myself daily if the keys could just perpetually play the song. quoth my own blog my heart belongs to every video out there of a cady opting up on the last “i learned math so i can learn love” it just fits so well thematically and makes the song even more satisfying because it makes you think yes!! summon that girlfailure swag and learn love. also this song is so next to me from twihard: a new musical coded with the pencils and/or feet providing the musical pulse. this is me very subtly begging you to listen to twihard: a new musical as put on by the esoteric ensemble productions and uploaded like a full decade ago starring danielle wade

apex predator: i love women. i love bon jovi. i love zoology. this song was made for me tina fey told me herself. i can even forgive whoever made halls rhyme with dolls because of the regina furry confirmation. the first few chords kind of give me jaws theme vibes. it’s grinding and warning and doused in grit. you get the brightness of cady’s other songs cut with the flinty, darker strings of janis’s numbers. the heavy drum sort of sounds like a heartbeat, quickening as cady realizes the might of the pride and considers how regina’s help compares to janis’s in an almost clinical manner. shout out to erika henningsen’s “exotic pet” obviously. that line should be studied by every ivy league with a literary program because regina and cady considering the other an exotic pet instead of a real friend but still seeking each other’s approval……. maybe the narrative foils are really reflections of my tin foil hat but hear me out. it’s so interesting that they refer to regina as an apex predator because apex predators are animals without natural enemies but almost every single friend or admirer of regina’s exhibits an envious kind of awe when it comes to regina. regina’s so magnetic that you can’t be her enemy but close enough to pseudo-celebrity that you can’t exactly be her friend either. also the harmony at the end combined with the epic percussion deserves its own award. no longer does egot mean anything. One must be an egota (emmy grammy oscar tony apex predator singer) to be considered showbiz royalty

stupid with love (reprise): cady is so so smart and so so stupid. aaron getting confused at a genuine compliment not solely based on his looks is adorable but i also love it when the line delivery gets changed to be more like “wow i already know i’m cool but it’s nice to hear it from the cute possibly murderous girl who sits behind me”. same goes for cady’s “shit” right after aaron swears off dating–it’s funny as hell whether she’s smiling through the pain or so disappointed in herself she looks like she’s experiencing medical shock. her making love into a function is similarly messed up but funny as hell. i literally have a google drive folder full of audio clips of the “i just don’t get it–i’ll never get it–i just don’t get it–somehow…” part it’s so serious

sexy: this is modern feminism talking i expect to run the world in shoes i cannot walk in - the greatest mind of our generation karen smith. if the national emergency alarm was changed to the ending riff i would become an arsonist just to hear it over and over again. a youtube commenter said that she sings every line like she’s waiting to be shown the script and redo it and whenever acting and singing can waltz along in magnificence together i sob in joy even if that waltz is set to trashy pop. literally every costume shown is worthy of fashion week and then some. the sex doctor bit is beyond saturday night live. sexy rosa parks deserves the world. modern feminism is a mess but at least it built the last verse of this incredible song.

someone gets hurt: regina pretending to cry and aaron being confused again and then being manipulated into a makeout session is so so funny. so terrible but so funny. the incredible blare of noise after that first “until someone gets hurt” feels like being pushed off a cliff and into a sea of warning sirens which feels fitting. if any song from the stage show were to be played by a chamber orchestra i would want it to be someone gets hurt because everything about it is almost four seasons by vivaldi to me. as i said do not expect sensible comparisons from this review. it’s really dark and intense like all of regina’s numbers but this time her style of seduction is on full display, highlighted by some heavy timpani work and a male ensemble that’s carrying more than just regina on their backs holy cow. squidward would worship regina with how she made the bass clarinet sultry despite hitting something in the high fs during each “hurt” and holding that “go” for like five seconds. the ending is giving celine dion’s villain arc. it’s also maybe the first time the audience sees aaron through the eyes of anyone other than cady who’s so starstruck she might as well be blind and we see a guy who’s still susceptible to regina’s yknow reginaness. she guilt trips him about his potential infatuation with his body and then gets extremely touchy with him while wearing a playboy bunny costume. she asks if she was a game he wanted to play despite (maybe devoid of remorse) playing him just to get back at cady. she’s making so much shit up because peeling away too many layers of her perfection would be dangerous but so would losing aaron to cady’s actual openness. first she says “fine” to mean that she’ll be fine without aaron in the reverse psychology sense, then they say “fine” to mean that they’re both hot af, then he says “fine” to agree to get back with regina and possibly to convince himself that his interest in cady can and should be pushed aside because being with regina is better for them both. love this song. hate being unable to sing a single note of it.

revenge party: my overall fave song of the obc album, the stage show, and the movie musical. words alone cannot describe the excitement that electrocutes my nerves when i hear “now you know, caddy—” because everything from that line onwards is going to be stuck in my head for at least a week. some people can’t function until their first cup of coffee in the morning, i can’t function until my first listen of revenge party. in slight relation to that gretchen’s squawking will make me spit out any drink; such has been scientifically proven over the course of several years. i actually have a line-by-line analysis of revenge party drafted so i won’t go into detail right now because i need viewer retention but i mean it when i say art freak harmonization is the best kind.

whose house is this: if kevin g has one fan it is me. let the man rap even if half his lyrics don’t make sense. i have heard the big fun from heathers comparisons. i have heard the halloween from be more chill comparisons. all of them are so incorrect i could set several houses ablaze with the rage i feel at the very suggestion that whose house is this isn’t a masterpiece. no joke this is the first song on my workout playlist. the way nobody even cares about cady in this number is hilarious and so is kevin refusing to swear. gretchen deserves all the thank yous and so does the horns section. karen’s actions are just. Absurd as they always should be. the mario kart ass instrumentals during that “turn the freaking music up” segment make me pleasantly stressed. there are traces of jungle techno but little to no traces of cady’s signature sound and the usually lax but articulate and expressive rhyme scheme of her songs switching to frenzied verses full of immaturity and inconsideration makes me feel things that should not be felt while listening to a rave number with flatulent bass.

more is better: the only romantic duet to ever exist if you ask me. the fact that cady switches from the more sincerity-charged love to like most likely because the plastics’ philosophy is to be cool about things makes me want to bite the bars of alcatraz prisons. the way cady’s signature sound only really returns after aaron chooses to leave her because she’s become regina 2.0 without even acknowledging it is the stuff of emotionally resonant legend. as i said in my aaron review post the only thing that bothers me about this number is aaron kissing cady while she’s clearly drunk and he isn’t but cady kind of gets him back after do this thing so. yay equality. aaron’s so tired of being manipulated and told to shut up i feel so bad for him. cady’s so in denial about missing her old home in any capacity and being uncomfortable with the skin she’s tried to grow into for aaron’s sake and i feel so bad for her. the shimmering sound that comes with cady singing “stars” makes me feel better though. 11/10 would be sad again. say no to excessive air conditioning and light pollution

someone gets hurt (reprise): i like it when gays have bad breakups without even dating. what more do you want. but actually i am obsessed with the way this is blocked out because the way the chaos of cady’s house gradates into the dark street where there’s nothing but her and her crumbling friendships. the link between janis and regina is really reinforced by this song and it makes me feel insane.

world burn: the only way regina can redeem herself for wearing a black turtleneck and black pants is by slaying so hard you forget she’s just printing shit and polluting the corridors and she does it in world burn. her having a recurring set of notes to follow until she absolutely loses it is iconic. i learned so much about hernia formation through this song so i think it’s also an educational heritage site. the contrast of her 1984-esque lyrics and beats with lines like “trang pak is a grotsky byotch” is beyond hilarious but in the context of the show it makes my timbers shiver. she is both manipulated and the master manipulator. renee rapp’s opt up for the ending is golden but every regina brings their own flair and intensity to it. something that really interests me is how different actresses interpret the lines “this is what i get for helping / helping someone lame fit in” because to generalize regina either thinks she was actually helping cady or is trying to convince herself/the audience that her primary motivator was controlling cady’s every action before she got too hot to ignore or because she saw her hanging around janis and damian or because regina can’t ask a girl out like a normal person. idk it’s very fun and very satisfying to listen to and ramps up the ante for all antagonistic songs ever!

i’d rather be me: did you mean the feminist anthem of the twenty-first century? i’d rather be me is pure janis in her sort of jumpy, edgy, eleven o’clock exasperated glory tuned to this effusive fusion of pop and rock. the energy this has is soooo good because every girl in school is tired of being treated like shit because of the expectations placed on them by society and the idea that by i’d rather be me the female student body of north shore is so exhausted of the plastics’ bs that they parade janis around despite shunning her for years is amazing. most criticisms of this are abt how wordy it is or how it’s not worded right but hello janis is a teenager her inner and outer monologue is not going to be as mature as fucking grizabella the glamor cat and it can include words that anyone would study for the sats like sycophant. sycophant is not that fancy a word i learned the word sycophant from a star wars fanfiction i read when i was seven how could you not know the word sycophant at age seven squared after making a living out of reviewing shows written by wordsmiths like sondheim. sorry that was mean i’m just tired of people either going “they wouldn’t talk like that they’re teenagers” or “they shouldn’t talk like that they’re part of a theatrical production worth millions of dollars!” lmao

ok so i think that janis was losing herself just as much as cady over the course of the revenge plot taking place because okay she’s ruined regina but she’s barely changed anything about herself and if her plan had worked without hitches wtf was she going to do. was she going to keep hanging out with cady. was she going to fill the power vacuum left by the plastics herself. was she going to run regina over with a bus herself. i’d rather be me is the culmination of the crushing pillars of her revenge plot and the full realization that revenge wasn’t what she wanted–she wanted to change the way the world works, change it into a place where people can just do and be without being ostracized. to me the instrumentals and the mockery in the lyrics are almost stinging?? someone with even could describe this better than me but the strings during the instrumental section between verses remind me of a mosquito bite because they’re high and sharp and put against the heavy drums and cymbal crashes they really paint this picture of a dam of anger breaking and giving way to a new wash of awareness.

also i cannot stand it when ppl say this song is the show giving endorsement to janis being a hypocrite there is a reason why all the lyrics are in future tense. she is wrapping her mind around the notion that there is no pleasing everyone, that there is no true gratification gained by holding grudges and letting them control your every thought, that if you don’t let yourself have the liberty of lashing out you’re only going to manifest your maliciousness in worse ways with longer-lasting effects. that being said let girls be haters

also the obc album should’ve let janis swear. every public performance of i’d rather be me should let janis swear. let her have a line with bite before her throat turns into a cavern where vowels go to melt into a singular solution

also janis’s costumes over the course of the whole show are amazing but her look in i’d rather be me goes so hard. if i had any of janis’s jackets i think i’d curl into it like a cocoon and wait until the heat death of the universe for metamorphosis into coolness

do this thing: no joke this is the second song on my workout playlist. i hate the title so much but i love also the audience reaction when ms norbury starts singing as if she didn’t just slay the what’s wrong with me reprise gets me every time. truly the actresses in the adult women track are so underappreciated and so are the adult women in general. kevin g’s unabashed doing of the thing regardless of the haters is iconic. the return of the heavy percussion is so enjoyable and so are the mathletes’ lines lining up with the steaming kettle sound somehow behind each buzzer even though i hate buzzers because in real life mathletes nobody wants to answer on beat. ms norbury best matchmaker ever i LOVED the detail of aaron being present for the mathletes’ win but cady clearly focusing on the competition above all else. i’m pretty sure the mathletes are also the only characters to drop an f-bomb in a song which is just fantastic + the gretchen/regina parallel between kevin and marwan regarding schquillz is phenomenal. “the limit does not exist” being both the answer to the question that signifies cady’s return to her old self with more self-assurance and the theme of the musical in terms of not limiting other people is a level of genius i will never reach.

i see stars: i’m sorry they gave cady a big finale where she calls everyone beautiful and bright and holds hands with the other girls she’s hurt and you expect me to not love it?? this one had to grow on me though because i was so bothered about the stars imagery coming up maybe like five songs before when we’d been following animals and math for the whole show. as we all know characters can only have one or two interests before they become completely incoherent. but now i know more about light pollution and have played the video of this song with the pride chorus more times than i’ve blinked so i get it. shane oman also breaking his crown during the escalation of the instrumentals from a very optimistic but singular combo of strings and cymbals into the violins and heavier drums and whatever else is such a good detail. i still get goosebumps with that “you stars” there is just so much emotion packed into this finale and the rest of the ensemble joining in is as effective as onions being cut directly into my eyes when it comes to crying. obviously my fave version of this is the one with cady and janis’s mini duet during the rhinestones don’t shine part but guaranteed this one will make me cry no matter what

now. for the songs that didn’t make it onto my absolute fave list they are still my children just bastard ones and i will go into detail about them too because there is no point in writing this post if it does not crash the tumblr dashboard for you

a cautionary tale (reprise): akin to its origins, the reprise of a cautionary tale kicking off act two is there to introduce the act, but unlike its first iteration, the reprise is literally just there. no jokes no nothing. would love to see it reworked into something that reminds the audience they’re north shore freshmen being told this story by janis and damian because i forget about that framing device until the dialogue break in i see stars every time lmao but other than that it’s serviceable and any song that involves art freak harmonization is a solid song

meet the plastics: maybe i don’t love women as much as i claim to. I don’t know why i don’t like this song more truly. Maybe i just need to listen to it more lmao because the lyrics are great, the tempo changing with each introduction is great, and gretch waiting until regina’s out of earshot to try and convert cady into a fetch truther is great. Maybe it’s the “humps my leg like a chihuahua” line that turned me off from it because nell benjamin i do not care that you wrote legally blonde i do not think regina george would bring up animal humping imagery considering what her mother puts her through unless she was hopped up on pain meds. All that being said i would die for the polyphony at the end and karen playing with cady’s hair near the end is so cute

what’s wrong with me: gretchen it’s not you it’s me and i like songs with a specific sort of climax and what’s wrong with me really does feel like a music box piece played by some dusty not-quite-antique you find in the attic that makes you feel a particular, peculiar strain of melancholy because it’s so cyclical and fragile. which is the point, probably! It just sounds really different from the rest of the show and i feel like the lyrics don’t quite fit the language we’ve heard gretch using so far but maybe that’s also part of the point. That being said the line “see that you see what’s wrong with me” makes me go mad because there are so many ways to interpret it. Is she telling the audience that they should be able to see what’s wrong with her? Is she saying that the audience sees something good in regina that she can’t see anymore because of her constant mistreatment? Is she once again asking what’s wrong with her or has she finally had a breakthrough about her dismal self-esteem?

fearless: oh my god a cady song and act ender that i’m not totally into sound the sirens. but really fearless without the revisitation of the it roars/wild life passage that tells the audience what makes her fearless aside from wanting to move to america (which might make her more fearless than i thought now i sound that out but still) isn’t my favorite songs despite it having some of my favorite moments like karen’s ribbon dance, gretchen’s very cool dance, cady mirroring regina’s pose on top of the cafeteria table at the start of meet the plastics at the end, the mini someone gets hurt reprise at the end, it isn’t my favorite to listen to because the lyrics are just all over the place. Cady why are you saying that she’ll go cry to mama do you think mrs george is sober enough for that. Cady why are you spouting live love laugh merchandise ass quotes. Cady why are you quoting dwayne the rock johnson “imagine stronger, better, bolder” are you going to play a lacrosse game against regina. Why does karen not wear more vests after this number

You know what made me care about fearless?? The fearless reprise. Oh my god the fearless reprise. I need to make a separate post about the fearless reprise but i can’t listen to it more than once a day or i’ll end up crying for hours on end.

stop: is it homophobic of me to put three damian songs on this list? probably but i make up for it by filling that broadway cares bucket every time i can. and it’s not that i even really dislike stop!! I have so many thoughts about stop!! i just don’t like it when compared to the other songs that can hold up inside and outside the context of the show!! i just feel like it has to be experienced live to understand its award-losing enormity unlike where do you belong and even then it sounds noticeably different from the rest of the show + essentially pauses the narrative to talk about a whole other story that never gets resolved outside of damian being ghosted (i thought theater was supposed to provide escapism 😔) and then frays a bunch of threads out from the ensemble in a way that doesn’t feel quite as well sewn in as the worship we see during apex predator or after rockin’ around the pole because like. it’s funny sure but just the act before we saw that things can be funny while also moving the story along past attempting to hammer in the message “stop ignoring your real friends” in cady’s thickened-by-makeup head.

also how does damian even know about her word vomit. cady barely even word vomits in the stage show. it’s all just word coughing fits of confusion and unintentional comedy under peer pressure. whenever she says something embarrassing she either gets cut off or turns it into a whole song. i’m sorry damian i love you and your stupid straw hat but we just saw the whole show we don’t need a recap of everything that happened in the last hour with almost zero internal rhymes and without the frantic pacing of ya got trouble from the music man. cmon.

onto things i love about stop tho which are a) the gaiety (and gay-ty) b) the dancing and c) the staging. i love it when gay characters just get to be silly goofy instead of singing themselves to their graves and even if damian was built off the dramatic thespian homostereotype he gives me the impression of a silly goofy teen trying to balance the interests of his best friends with his sanity through the medium he’s most comfortable in which happens to be literally show-stopping song-and-dance number. also we get cadnis content in the background and the choreo i’ve seen for how janis plays keep away with cady’s phone only gets better (which of course is a synonym for gayer. let the babies hold hands before they yell at each other in the street and see a 15-second death they’re both sort of kind of responsible for). the dancing of course is wonderful. i mean does it make sense in-story for damian to somehow be popular enough with the ladies to rally them into a giant dance break after asking them to divulge their biggest, darkest secrets like an hour after being kicked out of the girls’ bathroom and calling one of them danny devito? probably not. is it really enjoyable when you aren’t itching to get back to the main story? yes. it also makes north shore feel more authentic in a sense?? obviously there’s so much about the social hierarchy exaggerated for comedic effect but yeah public high school is that crazy one day you’ll hear that a classmate got into a drunk driving accident and the next you’ll hear that the same classmate scored an audition for the x factor. and the transition from the art classroom, which is one of my fave sets in the whole show because aghhhh i want to pause everything and analyze art whenever it comes up in a tv show or movie or video game or musical because it’s almost never just art present for the sake of filling the set! there’s a reason why the set designers put that there or downloaded that asset or whatever! based on the official yt video in stop we see a sort of cubist portrait of janis ian, a few monochrome figure studies, and some more abstract pieces and i so want to know what this number would’ve looked like in-universe. did cady legit just run out of class to confront damian and get swept into a gay tea spilling session until the end of the day. be glad you got suspended girl

so. while i cannot begin to fathom the stamina it takes for damian to go from that gorgeous dance break into the grand vocal ending—philip doesnt know what he’s missing out on for sure—stop is not something i play on purpose but if the obc album shuffles to it i won’t complain!

what’s wrong with me (reprise): is it homophobic of me to put every gretchen song sans whose house is this on this list? probably but again it’s just not something i can put on repeat/a number i think depends on the production to arouse much entertainment value. it’s fucking hilarious though i’ll give it that. like it might be in the top three of mg songs when it comes to unadulterated comedy. my heart breaks when gretchen realises she’s stuck in this cycle of servitude and is still being hurt by the people she most desires the approval of and her work is still going unappreciated and then i get a heart attack from laughing because regina’s reign of terror is so absolute even her own mother has feared her from the age of three onwards?? in addition to that what’s wrong with me reprise is why i cannot stand for mrs george hate she’s just a girl too. a toxic girl who never emotionally developed past high school but like. what do you want her to do. she has never had a heartfelt conversation with her daughter ever. also “why couldn’t it just be drugs” is so funny to me because yknow. reggie gets hit by a bus and spends the rest of the show so high she forgets her love languages are acts of slanderous service, passive-aggressive gifts, weaponized physical touch, quality time spent playing hard to get, and words of refutation. taylor louderman deserved a tony for pulling the kalteen bar scream off every night too i think it’s night queen aria levels of difficulty.

the funniest part of this song to me is probably the way it starts and ends so abruptly. usually you can tell when a song’s about to start in a musical but gretchen nearly breaking down into sobs as soon as cady turns her non-self-tanned back without missing a beat is both relatable and hysterical. my girl is clinging to les mis motifs and middle school herd mentality in a world meant for fosse tributes. the spotlight is only on her when she talks about how dim her light feels in comparison to other characters. then mrs george joins in and you get the first female/female duet to rival defying gravity since idk. everything in fun home. i take cash and credit not criticism.

but really the gretchen/mrs george connection is so interesting because they tether themselves to regina in a style that’s irreconcilable with happiness on either end and they know that but possibly for a mix of selfish and sympathetic reasons don’t want to leave in any capacity. the way they’re separated on stage by little more than a change in colored lighting is interesting too and raises the question of whether or not they’re aware that regina’s sun is burning those closest to her in general.

also. can plastic cady snap and yell at me i want to feel something

in conclusion i love you pezberrywhoreee thank you for asking this. i think i said the words “also” and “but” more times than i said the word “gay” and that’s a real hurdle to fly over. i think i expect many random things in your inbox hereafter as retribution/reward depending on how you see it

#sigh.#mean girls the musical #mean girls musical #mean girls broadway

16 notes · View notes