#would let him take me in the back room of an applebee's

[andy-clutterbuck]

(◕‿◕✿)

[roll-for-gaslight]

for whosoever believeth in him (shall not perish but have everlasting life)

An exploration of the two oldest Applebees siblings' relationship with religion. tw// religious trauma, child abuse, let me know if I should add anything else.

AO3 Version: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55677883/chapters/141332254

Part One: The Prophet

Part Two: The Proselyte

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

-Proverbs 3:5-6

When Kristen was having a hard day, this is the verse that came to mind most often. It was the one she fell back on when it got hard to stay awake at church, or Bucky did something to annoy her and her first instinct was to annoy him back. She was Helio’s Chosen, she knew better than to act like that. It’s not Bucky’s fault he hadn’t learned yet, he wasn’t Chosen like her, he would come to it in his own time. Instead, she would correct him gently and mend anything he broke with a Mending cantrip, one of the earliest signs of her Blessing. It’s the one she’s repeating under her breath now, as she dies in a highschool cafeteria, surrounded by the corn that should have, by all accounts, been blessed with Helio’s light and protected or healed her rather than harmed her. It’s her first set of dying words, though no one else would ever know it. 

She sneaks her principal into heaven only to be sent back to the mortal plane herself. Worse than that, Helio refuses to answer the one question that’s been sitting on her mind for years: why do you let bad things happen to good people? Not only does he not have an answer, he throws her out of the afterlife when s he asks. There is a seed of doubt firmly planted in her heart by that interaction, though she supposes this isn’t the first time she felt a flutter of something like it. 

"I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."

-Philippians 4:13

She supposes this could have gone better. She’s never been left home alone to babysit before, but her parents say that since he just turned nine she’s finally old enough. She’s making macaroni and cheese, with all three boys running around the dining room table. Bucky and Bricker are chasing Cork around the table because he has something she can’t quite make out in his hands, all screaming over each other. She’s just glad that when she told them it wasn’t safe to play in the kitchen they actually listened to her. She felt herself glow with pride at the thought, knowing her mom and dad would be proud of her for taking care of everyone tonight if all went well. 

Then, a lot of things happen at once. There’s a crash, a scream, a thudding sound, and then all her brothers are crying. Bricker runs into the kitchen and barely stops short of crashing into her. 

“KRISTENKristencomequickit’sCorkhe’shurt and—” he half-shouts, but she stops listening. 

“Stay here, turn off the stove, and bring me the emergency phone!” she says immediately, shouting her instructions as she runs into the other room. When she arrives she sees Bucky first, blood all over his hands and face. It takes her a moment to remember what Bricker said and realize it isn’t his own blood, but Cork’s. She casts her eyes downward to see her youngest brother lying there, limp and colorless as blood pooled around him. There’s an action figure, one of Bucky’s, scattered into several pieces about a foot away from his hand. She approaches quickly, realizing that the blood is coming from his head, and grabs one of the napkins off of the table as she pushes Bucky out of the way.

“What happened?” she demands. Bucky looks up at her through his tears, and she realizes abruptly that she doesn’t know how to fix this. 

“We were just trying to get my Adventure Man toy back! I tried to grab him and he lost his balance and his head hit the table and then he just started bleeding so fast I didn’t know what to do,” he says, and she does her best to offer him a comforting smile. 

“Everything is going to be okay,” she assures him, silently begging Helio for forgiveness for bearing false witness, knowing the moment the lie passes her lips that she’ll have to repent in church for it on Sunday. He seems to relax at her words. “Go and get the black bottle with the white cap from under the bathroom sink.” she says, and he runs off. She’s left alone, for just a moment, with a slowly-dying Cork, and is faced with the helpless thought that she can’t heal him. She should have been watching him. 

She begins to whisper prayers, each and every one she knows, under her breath. 

Bucky and Bricker enter the room at the same time, both holding the things she instructed them to grab. She takes the hydrogen peroxide and tells Bucky to take the phone and call their parents, tell them they need to come home, but she’s not sure how to proceed after that. She feels tears prickle in her eyes as Cork’s breathing becomes shallower and shallower, and does her best to clean the wound and wrap it up despite the fact that the blood-soaked towel isn’t doing much anymore. 

Just when the tears begin to fall, the moment that all hope seems lost, it happens. Her hands glow with a brilliant, burning golden light and the air fills with the scent of popcorn. Cork’s eyes fly open as the color returns to his face, and suddenly she can breathe again. She pulls her littlest brother into a tight hug, and Bucky and Bricker join them. She can faintly hear the sound of her parents as they come through the door, moments too late to be helpful but she’s grateful they’re there nonetheless. The whole world feels far away except for her brothers, right here with her. 

“What happened here?” her mom asks, “Kristen, did you just heal your brother? Was he hurt, did you heal him?” 

Kristen looks up from the hug and is only able to nod before her dad starts to separate the four of them. Bucky and Bricker move back when they’re told to, sent off to get cleaned up, but it takes her a few extra seconds before she can let herself let go. Her mom wraps her arms around her to guide her into the living room, and through the shock Kristen can faintly hear her calling Pastor Amelia to share the good news. 

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is Sol’s will for you in Lord Helio.”

-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Kristen’s eyes are starting to get heavy. She’s been staring upward for almost a full twenty-four hours at that point, feeling the searing heat of Sol’s light burn her face as she murmurs her prayers along with the pastor onstage. Pastor Amelia’s shift ended some time ago, so it was a man’s low southern drawl leading them now, but she can’t be sure how long it’s been. She’s ten, so it’s not her first Harvest Festival, so Helio is making her last longer than he used to before he intervenes to help her through her prayers. Her skin feels raw and blistering, and her eyes strain against the unrelenting light. She’s doing her best to make him proud.  

She knows the girl beside her, who seemed so devoted when they met at the beginning, was carried out after only three hours or so. The boy in front of her passed out from the heat not long after. She had noticed that he drank all of his daily water in the first hour, but could do nothing to warn him. Bucky is on her other side, here for his first year in the Prayer and doing well. Next year they’ll be in different age groups, but she’s glad to have him here now. She’s pretty sure he’ll have to kneel soon because of how he’s shaking and sweating. Kneeling is allowed as long as they know you’re still awake. There’s a part of her that wants to kneel first so he’s not nervous, but she also knows it’s important that she remains standing as long as possible to fully connect with Helio. 

She knows that probably within the hour, they’ll get an optional ten-minute break to refill their water. If Bucky can last until then, she’s pretty sure he’ll be able to make it through the next day. 

He kneels, his head falling onto the ground immediately. She knows it’s technically against the rules, but she kicks him in the arm and casts one of her smallest healing spells for him. She can barely see in her peripheral vision as he glows momentarily and looks up at her. He’s still faintly murmuring prayers, so he’s not actually out yet. Kristen feels the toll the spell takes and her knees buckle, so she slowly kneels to avoid taking out those around her if she falls. She distantly notices several other kids around her kneel quickly after, as if they were all awaiting her cue as Chosen. She thinks she should maybe feel guilty for that, but she can’t quite bring care about them right now, only Bucky. He’s still sweating, but as she kneels he seems to remember his placement and raises his face to the sun yet again. 

She waits anxiously for someone to say something or for Helio’s reprimand to come for breaking the rules. He sees all, so she knows it’s hopeless to think he won’t notice. 

Despite that, nothing comes. When the ten-minute break arrives, Bucky turns as if to speak with her and she just hands him her water jug. “Can you fill this for me, Buck? I’m going to pray through the break. As much ice as you can crush in there, please.” she requests, and he nods. 

“Yeah, Kristy, I can do that. I’ll let mom and dad know,” he responds, and she suddenly and desperately wishes for last year, when she was the only one of her siblings doing the full prayer and Bucky’s only job was to make sure she had water on breaks, free to spend most of the rest of the festival playing and enjoying the summer. 

The pastor is taking a break, so anyone staying is welcome to do their own prayers. If there’s anyone else in the field, they must be really far away from her. She feels the breeze for the first time in a while, but the sun also beats down harder than before. She sends Helio her apologies, doing her best to appease him, but never feels the sweet rejuvenation of his miracles. Not until the very last second of what should have been her break, right as people return to the field. She feels all eyes on her as she realizes she must have been the only one that stayed judging by the size of the crowd. Right as she registers that information, she feels a warmth in her chest. It expands outward and the day becomes ten times brighter. She’s glowing and feels herself becoming weightless. She knows it’s Helio’s blessing at last, knew all along that forgoing her break was the perfect way to repent. It lasts a full minute before she slowly descends, and when she does she feels it.

She feels like she’s fresh off of a full night’s sleep, completely refreshed. Her braid has redone itself, she feels clean, and her skin is no longer blistering. People suddenly crowd around her on all sides, each kneeling beside her and taking a moment to look up to the sky before returning to their new formation, remaking the neat lines that had been lost before as others failed. Bucky is the last to approach and takes his place beside her, reaching out to grab her hand for one fleeting moment before pulling away again. He puts her water jug and his own between them. For a while, everything is perfect. 

Seven hours later, the night brings a unique challenge, and the one that finally removes Bucky from the Prayer. It’s much cooler, a reprieve from the intense heat of the sun, but it’s also dark. At this point in the festival, that makes it too easy to fall asleep. He has the sense to kneel before he does it, but not to totally avoid colliding with Kristen. He falls across her feet, and suddenly she feels tears in her eyes. Maybe she should give up too, help him out of the crowd. She knows it would be frowned upon, and can picture the look of disappointment on her mom and dad’s faces when they see her step away. She can’t bring herself to move. Someone comes to collect Bucky, but she doesn’t see who. 

She lasts until noon the next day. It’s been a full forty-eight hours, and she’s the last one standing for their entire age group. The field is empty around her. The clock strikes loudly for twelve o’clock, the time of day where Helio’s magic is the strongest, and suddenly her legs buckle and go out from beneath her. She hits the ground hard, feels the dirt and rocks scrape against her knee. The moment her head hits the ground, she loses consciousness. 

Kristen wakes up alone on a cot. There’s a window open, letting fresh air and a little early morning light into the room. She checks her crystal to see it’s six in the morning, eyes aching at the light from the screen until she turns the brightness setting all the way down. She hovers over her mom’s contact for a few moments, considering texting to see where to find them, but can’t bring herself to actually do so. She closes her eyes instead to do a silent prayer for her daily spells, and it feels like a weight off her chest when she feels the holy magic fill her with warmth. Helio is proud of her. She did good. 

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord Helio is giving you.”

-Exodus 20:12

“Kristen, I don’t know how many times we’re going to have to go over this. If they don’t worship Helio, they’re sinners. It doesn’t matter what they do or say because anything done outside of Sol’s light is sin.” her dad is saying, frustration coloring his tone. 

Her mom nods in agreement. “If they aren’t faithful, they aren’t your friend. If you can’t depend on them to make the right choice on the most important decision, how can you trust them with anything else?”

Kristen finds herself at a loss for words. It had been Bricker who started all of this, playing with that little Goblin girl on the playground before Mac and Donna had gotten the chance to pull him away. It had been an innocent question. “But she was so nice, what could be wrong with her?” he had said. He’d also immediately accepted his parents’ simple answer: she was a non-believer. Kristen had been fighting this battle for half an hour at this point, determined to show her parents the truth of Helio’s light. This is part of being Chosen, she thinks. It’s her job to right these wrongs, even if it means standing up to her parents. 

“Mom, Dad, Sol’s light touches all creatures the same. If they act with good intentions and follow the rules of scripture, they have potential to find faith. Isn’t it our job to lead them there, and let them take their own path there? It doesn’t make them bad people, just lost ones.” she says, not for the first time. 

“That’s enough, Kristen,” Mac says finally, using his this-conversation-is-over voice. She winces slightly, knowing that she’s in trouble. “You need to drop this, or we’ll have to go have a talk with Pastor Amelia about you questioning Helio’s word. Is that what you want?”

Panic fills her at the thought of Pastor Amelia’s disappointed face and tone. There’s no way she would still be Helio’s Chosen if she really questioned Him and she knows it. Pastor Amelia having to step in would definitely call it to His attention. She shakes her head quickly. 

“No! No, of course not. I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to question Him. I just didn’t understand, I guess,” she assures them quietly, and they seem satisfied. When she glances at her brothers, Bricker looks disappointed. She looks away.

“There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”

-Proverbs 6:16–19

Kristen has never been more excited than her first day of highschool. She’s excited to make friends, and to fulfill Helio’s word by showing them the light. It’s the whole reason that she wanted to go to Aguefort, and it’s why she asks Daybreak to send her to detention with the bad kids. Who better to help the most lost souls in the school than the Chosen of Helio? Who better to bring them under his holy gaze?

She feels a little bad for lying, but knows that she can repent for it tonight and Helio will understand. She feels worse about asking Daybreak to lie for her, and knows she needs to apologize to him too. She’s Chosen, she should know how to act better than that.

It doesn’t matter. They don’t seem happy about her proselytizing, but they seem to like her anyway. She’s looking forward to her new group, to finally getting the chance to be the yeast that makes the whole loaf rise. 

She dies instead. 

“Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin."

-Leviticus 18:22

Tracker is maybe the coolest person Kristen has ever met. She’s openly queer, a werewolf, and she worships Galicaea. She grew up in the church and chose to leave it, which is scary, but it’s also really… Exciting? Thrilling? Enticing? Attractive? Kristen isn’t sure she has exactly the right word for it yet, but she knows it feels almost good. 

She’s not so sure about Helio anymore. How could He not have the answers she was looking for? Not even for her, His Chosen? What did it even mean to be Chosen by Him? Did it mean anything, if she didn’t choose Him too? She’s not so sure anymore. 

She hates that she hasn’t seen her brothers all week. It’s not like it is with her parents with them, they haven’t done anything wrong. She hates that her long school days have led to her avoiding her whole family. She’s had more sleepovers since school started than she has in the whole rest of her life. 

She’s pretty sure she has a crush on Tracker. What would that mean for her? Would that make her gay? Or maybe bi? She hopes, for a moment, for that to be the truth but now that she’s thinking about it the thought of spending the rest of her life with a husband in a traditional marriage sounds… suffocating. Spending the rest of her life with someone fun and interesting like Tracker sounds so much better. 

Maybe Helio isn’t everything. Maybe her parents are right about him, and if they are then she’s not interested. Maybe Helio holds hatred in his heart. 

Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe she’ll find something new. 

Maybe she’ll take a leap of faith. 

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

-Hebrews 11:1

She can still cast magic. She’s not sure who or how, but her leap of faith didn’t strip her of her divine magic. She can still heal her friends, and her Spirit Guardians aren’t corn-themed. The magic flowing through her is strange and new, no longer searing heat but instead a slight chill that shoots its way through her from her very core. 

Every night’s a sleepover as long as she’s not living at home. Her parents haven’t even tried to get her home yet, not even a text since the other night. She’s just glad Fig and Gilear have been so nice to let Kristen move in with them. There’s no way she would have been able to leave that house if they hadn’t offered; she couldn’t imagine actually asking her friends to take care of her like this. Fig was just nice enough to offer first, so she didn’t feel as bad just accepting. 

Tracker is going to be her girlfriend, she’s pretty sure. She still has to actually ask, but she’s pretty sure the feelings she’s having are reciprocal. She talks to Ragh, quietly and briefly, about being gay. He doesn’t make fun of her, which she suspected he wouldn’t. He just nods respectfully along as she speaks and gives her a little head pat before they depart, the most affection she’s seen him show anyone but Dayne. 

Kristen’s decided that she’s happy with who she is. If someone has a problem with it, she doesn’t need to care. That’s how Tracker talks about it all: her queerness, her religion, her lycanthropy. There’s no reason Kristen should have to change who she is for some bullshit rules that don’t actually mean anything. Fuck anyone who says otherwise.

 “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

-Ephesians 2:8-9

Kristen is dying again. In the gym, at prom, she is being killed by the vice principal, but it doesn’t even matter. As Helio’s Chosen she is directed straight towards the main office of Heaven when she arrives, only to find Arthur Aguefort waiting for him. Not only does he agree to come back and help her return, but he also gives her his watch to use. 

Oh, and she creates a new god. 

No big deal. 

Okay, big deal. She hates her new god, but it’ll be okay. Maybe YES! just has to grow on her. 

“For Sol so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life”

-John 3:16

The chapel makes Tracker freak out, but Kristen can’t get the image of the goddess out of her head. She was beautiful, and there was something strikingly familiar about her. She tries several times to draw her, but to no avail. She doesn’t voice her desires to her friends or even to Tracker on any kind of deeper level, but feels herself drawn to the idea of a forgotten goddess who specializes in doubt. Doubt has already gotten her this far, right? 

As they venture into Sylvaire and split up to gather the ingredients, only to lose all their allies except Gilear. Oh, yeah, and Kristen almost dies again, but at least this time she saves Riz. At least this time she has the chance to do some good. She thinks that it’s worth it as long as her friends are safe. 

When they make it to the chapel in the forest, their second time coming in, she’s grateful to have Fabian watching her back. The whole place seems creepy, but also strangely alluring. She wants to understand who this goddess was before she was abandoned. Why would her followers do this to her? She steps closer. 

‘Why do you searching for me?’ a low, crackling voice speaks directly into her mind. 

“I heard that you were the goddess of doubt, and that really resonates with me right now,” Kristen begins to say, but those aren’t the right words. She pauses for a moment to think. “I have a lot of praise for you.” she says finally. 

There’s a sharp pain in her chest, accompanied by a horrible wet sound. She chokes, suddenly unable to catch her breath, and grasps for whatever hurt her only to make contact with something that feels like solid bone. She looks down and— Is that a spike? 

Fabian says something and then he’s gone and it’s dark. She holds onto consciousness for as long as she can, tilting her head up to the sky and wishing, just for a moment, for the strength of a god supporting her the way Helio used to. It doesn’t come. Neither do her friends.

‘I have a lot of praise for you.’

What was she thinking?

Kristen Applebees, dying yet again with a prayer on her lips.

“‘Who’ is easy. It is us, everything, and you. ‘Why’ is harder.’Why’ is something that only you can decide. The universe doesn't have a ‘why’.”

For a while, she’s floating in nothing. She doesn’t have a sense of time or space, it’s neither light nor dark, there is no sensation. Everything is just empty for a while, and then it’s not anymore. Her eyes are already open when she comes to, face turned upward towards the ceiling. 

She looks down to find a gaping hole in her chest, her tie-dye shirt soaked through with blood. She puts her hand through it to make sure it’s not an illusion, but realizes belatedly that that doesn’t mean anything in the Nightmare forest. Looking at her hand, she realizes that her pinky finger is missing too. 

She slowly, carefully, wanders out of the room and into the forest. Her friends are far away, and she’s scared, and she’s pretty sure she’s still dead. That suspicion is confirmed when she’s brought face-to-face with the person she wants to see the least right now: Helio. He’s accompanied by Sol and a woman Kristen doesn’t immediately recognize. 

The woman introduces herself as Galicaea, Tracker’s goddess, and Kristen can’t help but feel comforted by the thought of her girlfriend for a few moments before it all goes wrong. Are these her only options? Sol’s bullshit or Galicaea’s? 

No. 

She’ll make her own options. She punches Helio in the face. 

Her philosophers aid her as they always have, helping her find the path away and giving her magic while she can’t rely on a deity. She knows what she needs to do. 

She’s going to bring back the mystery goddess, no matter what it takes. 

“The first rule of existence is as above, so below. People are fractal images of the universe. You are, as we are.”

If the first rule is as above, so below, that’s where she’ll start.

She ends up deep in the forest, and she can hear Tracker hunting her somewhere in the distance. She takes mud from the forest floor and blood from her own chest, using it to paint the goddess’s face on the bark of a wide tree. She’s no artist, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

She all but lays down, her knees folded underneath her and body pressed low, but her eyes cast up to the image. Slowly, it shifts until it shows the image of a beautiful goddess, the very one Kristen has been reaching out for. 

She appears in an inky void, mountains in the distance and a deity made of starlight in front of her. They speak of finding comfort in the dark unknown and wielding doubt as a tool rather than holding it in her heart; Kristen feels something slot together like a piece has been missing from the core of her very existence and it’s finally here. 

She’s pulled out of the conversation by danger looming outside of her new twilight protective circle, but Tracker is the danger. He escapes into the woods, free yet again, and finally finds her friends. She feels drawn in until she can pull the pinky finger bone out of Adaine’s pocket. She casts raise dead, there’s a sudden bright flash of light, and then it’s done. 

She feels her body return to her, hears her friends’ exclamations of surprise at her sudden appearance. She can see, in the low dusk light, the purple tie-dye of her new shirt made to represent her new goddess. Cassandra. She takes her first breath.

St. Kristen Applebees is born again. 

[thenewestxmen]

D&W fic part 4!!

Chapter 4: do I tell him?

“We kinda have to eat breakfast to get to lunch Wade.” Of course I promised that I could take him and Mary out for breakfast.

“I know, but I want Applebees.” He says, pretty much draping over me.

“Alright, alright. I’ll make some toast for breakfast, then for lunch we go to Applebees. Mary can come too.”

“Can Laura come too?”

I’m surprised he wants Laura to come, but I definitely want Laura to come too. She and I definitely have some talking to do. The twinge of anxiety that has been bothering me the last week has been awful. Every time I’m in public, passing my a couple, a man and woman, it’s like seeing Jean and Scott, both eyes staring at me with anger, pity, and lust. I nod, pulling out my phone.

Logan, 8:57: hey kiddo, want to go out to lunch with Wade and I?

Laura, 8:59: sounds fun, I’ll be there. Where do you guys want to meet,

Logan, 9:00: at Applebees, 1:30? Sorry, Wade has been wanting Applebees and I promise to take him out.

Laura, 9:00: sounds perfect. I’ll be there.

Of course, I’m excited. Wade coos at Mary and talks in a high pitched voice, although a second after he starts to praise Puppins, Al starts to yell, “Wade, that’s a dog, not a damn child! And if it was, let’s hope for the sake of everything I hold dear it doesn’t look like you. I may be blind but I can smell the ugly off of you, and it REEKS!” Jesus, Al isn’t holding back.

“Al, that’s so hurtful, but all I smell are your grandma panties that smells like the last time a man got in em was the dinosaurs age.” Wade quips back. I swear, I can watch this all day.

“Alright, alright. What do you want for breakfast darlin’?”

“I want Cocaine sugarbear!” Al yells from the back room. I think she just used up the last of it just now.

“I was talking to Wade, Al.”

This morning, despite the walk and the little flashback session earlier, this morning is peaceful. While I make breakfast, that twinge of anxiety goes away. That is until Al makes another joke.

“Logan, you better get away before he does you like every other woman in his life he don’t care for.” I’m sorry. What?

Wades face reddens, “don’t listen to her. I just had a little time moving from woman to woman, man to man. That cycle ended the minute I saw you peanut. Don’t worry. You look a bit worried, you ok?” Well no, because now I have to try harder to get Wade to stay. It’s selfish of me, but this feels like a repeat of Jean and Scott. I’m like a cigarette, used then put out on the bottom of a shoe. Wade will leave me like he did with the people in his past, and my past isn’t too far off from his, I’m just the one who gets left in the dust.

“Yeah, of course bub. Hey I’m going to go call Laura, be right back.” I try my best to reassure him. I’m not actually calling Laura though. I just need time to think. I go down the stairs of the apartment complex and sit at the base of the stairs.

This is just a repeat. Jean and Scott, a few weeks before they died, were putting on their show. Scott was trying to use my affection for him against me.

“Come on Logan, I know you want me. Come and get me.” He teased. Jean on the other side of me, stripped to only a bathing suit, and beginning to strip that off too.

“Logan, aren’t you going to look at me? Come on, I need some help untying my top.” By now, I wanted, and didn’t want them both at the same time. They were both attractive, kind during the day, but when I would attach myself, they were snippy. When I refused to untie her bikini top, her face turned grim, “why not?! You want me don’t you? I’m pitying you, you’re lucky someone wants you. You’re too clingy, and desperate. You’re a mess, so why not let me humor you. Be a good boy and untie my top, choose me.” She would taunt. I didn’t want to. I wanted to be free. I took it off. She made me do things, right in front of Scott. Then when it was Scott’s ‘turn’, he would yell, when I said I was done. He slapped me, punched even, when I grabbed his clenched fist, he would yell, “why?! You’re only going to heal again! Now let me show you a good time.” I let him. I didn’t want to, he did things I didn’t want to do. Yet I still loved them both, Jean and Scott. I did because they weren’t themselves, they were just taking out anger. During the day, friendly, respectful. During the night, again and again, the same dirty game. Yelling, punching. One day, I went to Storm. She was the one I respected and was able to depend on. But as I knocked on her door, I didn’t realize Jean was In the room. “Hey Storm, I really need some help. Jean and Scott… They’re making me do things I really don’t want to. And if it weren’t for my healing factor, you would see bruises. I was hop- -“ I look at Jean, she was almost fuming with anger. I begged her to forgive me, but the usual yelling occurred. Although this time it felt more personal, more real. “You couldn’t let me pity you, I don’t want anything to do with you but because I am so kind to you. I pity you and let you enjoy a moment of the closest thing to love as you will ever get! No one wants you, I’m the one to make Scott like you more, I’m the one making sure you don’t hate yourself. But there is so much to hate, you are desperate, and controlling, how dare you?!” She would yell, and yell, things turned physical, first violence, the sexual. I didn’t want to, again. But if I messed up again, I lose Jean and Scott.

The tingle of anxiety is back, more powerful than ever. But just before I get up, I see Laura, walking over, almost running. She sits next to me, holding onto my arm.

“Papa! Thank god, Wade was asking about you, he said you called me but I got worried when I didn’t get one. Are you alright…?” She says, I realize that my face is melded by anxiety, my shoulders tense.

“I’m fine.”

“Ok, but can you please tell me what’s going on?”

“Nothing is going on!”

“Why can’t you tell me, let me help you!”

“Stop it Jean!”

I try and recover from the slip up. The whole scenario just brought back jeans yells, angry outburst. I swallow hard as Laura studies my face. 

“Papa, what does Jean have to do with this?”

“She… nothing. I’m ok, I’m sorry. I just needed a minute to myself and I didn’t think Wade would check in with you.” I apologize, the situation getting no better. But Laura lets it go, although she keeps a close eye on me the rest of the day. We go to lunch, Wade shoveling fries into his mouth, sitting at the table outside Applebees, Mary on his lap. The anxiety gets worse. It’s hard to ignore all of the reminders. 

“Peanut. I want to do the thing.”

“What thing?”

“Come on, we have to keep the train going! The readers want romance!”

“The readers?”

“Just get over here.” Wade pulls me over, grabbing his milkshake and adds another straw. He makes me sip at the same time as him. I really hope the anxiety isn’t too visible. But before he is able to see anything in my eyes I pull him close. Kissing his lips softly, I ignore Laura’s remarks. When I pause to breathe, I look at Wade. But all I see is Jean. I literally see Jean for a full 4 seconds. I stand quickly, but as Wade comes into view, the illusion of Jean disappearing, Laura comes to my side, still clingy from earlier.

“Dad. You ok? Please say something.”

I snap out of it, nodding quickly, hoping I wasn’t too out of place.

“Peanut… you ok? What’s wrong? Is it what happened earlier?” Wade says.

“What happened earlier?” Laura adds. It’s all falling apart. I wanted to hide it, push it out of my mess, but it’s spilling over, Wade is about to hear about everything, and Laura too. Before Wade can say anything I stand up, blankly walking inside the restaurant and into the restrooms. Splashing my face with water.

It’s all falling apart. My relationship, my memories, everything. My arms are shaky again, anxiety gone out of my eyes and etched to my face. Jean and Scott are everywhere… I need them gone. My arms are lightly shaking and I’m trembling. I have no idea why… well I know why, but I refuse to let it go through my head and process it. Wade walks in, but as he sees me trembling, he runs, wrapping his arms around my neck.

“It’s alright peanut. It’s ok. Laura told me. I’m sorry. Please tell me what’s going on.”

“I won’t…” I practically tremble.

“You won’t?” Wade says, tilting his head in confusion.

“I won’t think about it, I don’t want to. I need for it to go away.” By now, nonsense is spilling out, everything is happening too fast, every hit of Wade in my peripheral vision is a bit of Jean. Wade pulls me close, standing there, I’m trembling, he holds me tight. He seems to understand the bit of nonsense. I can almost hear Jeans yelling, “you bitch! You can’t let someone help you?!” It rings in his ears. Wade grabs his hand and leads him outside, Laura runs up to me. 

“Papa… what’s wrong.?”

“Yeah, peanut. I know you don’t want to think about it, but please just tell me how we can make it better…”

They both want to help. Just like Jean and Scott did. I can almost feel the punches, the blasts from Scott opening up on my body. Although as I feel the side of my face, no blood, nothing.

I just stand there… Christ. I grown ass man, trembling in an Applebees. But by now I don’t care. Every second I see a person staring it’s like looking at Jean and Scott’s disappointing face… 

“Leave me…”

“What?”

“Leave me Wade, break up, end whatever this is…”

I’m not looking at Wade, but I can feel the confusion.

“Why? Did I do something?!” Wade says, panicking a bit. How do I explain to him that no one did anything, but I did something, be his boyfriend (or whatever you might call this). 

“No… it just never ends up good. I don’t want you to pity me or end up with my mess…” I say in an almost quivering voice. I’m a mess, what’s new.

“Peanut… Logan, no. I love you, what makes you think i pity you?” Wade says. Damn it… why do I have to put him in this position?! What’s wrong with me, why can’t I just suck it up and not try and fight tears in the middle of a restaurant like a screaming toddler… how do I explain everything? How do I tell Wade that it’s not him, it’s me. That it’s everyone I’ve had a relationship with. How do I tell him about Jean and Scott when I can’t look Wade in the eyes without seeing them?

Do I even tell him?

authors note: oh my lord, I’m sorry I’m dramatic. This is going good tho. Please, please, please, give me suggestions, I’ve hit writers block. Anyways, so yeah, if you read this and like it, I’m really glad, i love these two idiots so much anyways, I’ll have part 5 out soon :3

[yeschefthankyouchef]

hello i’m back it’s been a long 24 hours of me itching to read this chapter🤠

okay uhm WOW. WOWZA. this chapter was so fucking good - the angst, baby and carmy finally finding neutral ground again, the way that you wrote this absolutely batshit insane episode? it was all perfection.

i have my theories about what baby got him for christmas but I AM DYING TO KNOW WHATS IN THE BOX. IS IT KNIVES - DID SHE GET HIM THE KNIFE SET THAT HE USES? only time will tell but i feel like a little kid on christmas looking at all the presents under the tree and wishing i had x ray vision.

▫️▫️▫️

“Exactly, Mikey volunteered to pick my mom and I up from her chemo appointment, and Richie bless his soul was trying to make dinner for us.”

richie🥹🥹 he is such a sweetie and this little tidbit made me giggle so much. baby really had tweedle dee and tweedle dum as pseudo-protective older brothers and i love that for her.

“The laughter in the room took over once again as the two of you imagined how much your mom’s little crush inflated Richie’s ego.”

this is a weird little note but i absolutely love how much you’re building lore into the existing lore of the show, and in a way that doesn’t feel like too much. it feels like a directors cut almost? and i love that so much. i am so high and i feel like i am IN the story right now. (also fuck the haters who don’t like nicknames in x reader fics - i personally love it. i’d rather imagine myself as close enough to the family to have a nickname than disrupt the flow of writing with y/n every five seconds)

“Ahem, yeah…yeah it's a little weird, first Christmas without her and everything.”

YIKKKKKEEEEEEESSSSSSSS. so carmy really be that asshole huh? what an unfortunate christmas for her - how did you somehow manage to make fishes even more tragic?

“Pete making his way towards you from across the street, hand going up in a little wave to greet you.”

i fr love pete so much. like - i have a really hard time with my own in laws and having an in law like pete would be a game changer, somebody whose also on the outside that is so supportive and goofy and kind hearted

“What the fuck did you end up buying him?”

he is so silly and goofy and protective🥹

“Ahem, I uh I overheard what you said to Pete. Is your mom doing okay? Was the trip out here too much for her?”

oh. my. god. HE IS SO THAT ASSHOLE W T F F F F F F F FF F F

“Carmy made a decision in that moment, as soon as this night was over, he was buying you a fucking Christmas present.”

wow my boy does have at least one brain cell! i think that is actually the bare fucking minimum that you could do at this point carmy.

“Baby! Nice of you to join us, mind doing me a favor and handing me those forks?”

this is such a serious scene but i was laughing so hard at it during the show and this line made me laugh just as much. it fits in there so seamlessly.

“I said of course she’s gonna fucking do what you say the girl has no fucking backbone.”

lee is going to CATCH THESE HANDS in the applebees parking lot - we’ll see who has no backbone then

“eyes finding Carmen's eyebrows raised in a silent question, eyes searching your face to catch any remaining emotions, you smoothed out the frown on your face sending him a small nod to let him know you were fine.”

this is such a sweet and intimate moment after such a brutal moment. maybe! just maybe! carmy does still care.

“I could, ahem, I could drive you.”

ahhhh yes, a good old fashioned olive branch and a good amount of time alone to talk it out

“Taking a step into the room your eyes found Carmy sitting on his twin sized bed, legs propped up as a book rested on his knees, highlighter clenched between his teeth as he raptly read his book.”

baby is so brave because if i walked into this it would be on sight. who gave him the audacity to be this hot? he knows what he’s doing putting the highlighter between his teeth like that.

“His eyes were drawn to the medium sized ‘B’ in a typewriter-like font painted in the space behind your ear.”

this whole scene is so domestic i’m screaming and THIS TATTOO. THIS TATTOO KILLED ME.

*adding onto this reblog to let you know that i stared at the gif for atleast 5 minutes before i started reading, so, thank you for blessing me with that*

chapter 3 | lavender vanilla

↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

pairings: platonic!mikey berzatto x fem!reader | carmen berzatto x fem!reader | platonic!richie jerimovich x fem!reader

summary: christmas dinner commences, you and carmy put your differences aside for a night.

warnings: language | angst | fluff | mentions of cancer | mentions of death | lee’s geriatric ass | carmy trying his best | donna’s mental health | talk of drug abuse | let me know if i missed anything please!!!

wc: 6.9k

The sound of laughter could be heard through the door of Donna’s bedroom. The two women occupying it caught up with each other like no time had passed at all. You were laying down on the end of Donna’s bed, elbow propped up so your hand could hold your head up. Tiff laying in front of you sitting up slightly from you adjusting her pillows when you had first made an appearance in the room.

“Wait so Richie actually blew up your mom’s microwave?” The words coming out between the laughs that had been wracking Tiffany’s body. Eyes glistening with unshed tears as she listened to your account of the story.

You sat up rapidly head nodding to confirm Tiff’s question, “Exactly, Mikey volunteered to pick my mom and I up from her chemo appointment, and Richie bless his soul was trying to make dinner for us.” You paused as you couldn’t stop giggling at the memory, “He couldn’t find any plates, so he put fucking foil in the microwave, and by the time we got home the house was full of smoke and there were scorch marks on the wall.” You couldn’t help but to lean over clenching your stomach at the belly aching laugh the memory induced. Tiff doing no better hand gently cradling her bump as she tried to catch her breath.

Finally getting enough air into her lungs Tiff spoke up, “Wha-What did your mom do?” She searched your eyes waiting to hear your explanation. Your own laughter had finally settled down allowing you to finish your story, “Absolutely nothing! My mom was so sweet on Richie he could’ve burnt the house down and she would’ve thanked him for it!” The laughter in the room took over once again as the two of you imagined how much your mom’s little crush inflated Richie’s ego.

The two of you had finally calmed down sitting in the ambience that a memory from your younger years left behind. Tiff did her best to sit up, careful not to move too quickly in case it induced a bout of nausea. Her hands reached out gently clasping yours in her embrace, “I’m sorry she couldn’t be here with us today.” The slight squeeze she sent your hands conveying the raw emotion she felt, the small sad smile gracing her lips doing their best to comfort you.

You nodded, sending your own small smile her way, eyes quickly leaving hers to dart around the room, not comfortable enough to see the earnestness in her blue eyes. You cleared your throat trying to ground yourself, “Ahem, yeah…yeah it's a little weird, first Christmas without her and everything.” You let out a pathetic little laugh doing your best to not let the gloomy feeling settle over the room.

You squeezed Tiff’s hands back finally finding her eyes again, “Speaking of, she actually made something for you-well for the baby actually.” You motioned to Tiff’s stomach trying to move the conversation along to something much more light-hearted. “I’ll just go get it yeah, I want you and Richie to open it together.” Tiff nodded eyes misting at your mom’s selflessness in what must have been a debilitating time for her.

Smiling at Tiff one last time you quickly got up to make your way downstairs to where Carmy had hang your coat and bag. You made your way down stairs laughter and loud voices coming from the direction of the living room. You made it to the closet where your belongings were quickly grabbing your keys out of your tote bag you debated slipping your coat on before ultimately deciding it wouldn’t be necessary. You could hear Mikey’s voice as you made your way out the door, he and Richie recounting one of their many tales. You quickly slipped through the door making sure it closed behind you as to not let any cold air in.

Rushing to your car you popped the trunk reaching for the Christmas themed gift bag. You reached up to shut your trunk wanting to hurry and get back inside when your eyes landed on the large matte black box sitting in your trunk. A matching black bow and envelope atop of it, the white ink that spelled out Carmy’s name glaring back at you.

You let go of the trunk letting out an exasperated sigh. You hand planned on personally giving him the gift and watching as he opened it, wanting to see his reaction. But as your brain thought about the argument you had with him earlier, that hope quickly dwindled. You sat the gift bag on top of the box before reaching to pick up the box itself, shutting your trunk and locking your car. The sound of another car door closing caught your attention, Pete making his way towards you from across the street, hand going up in a little wave to greet you. You smiled racing your hand holding your car keys to return his greeting.

Deciding to wait for him so you could walk in together, your eyes took in the aluminum tray grasped in his hands, “Oh shit.” The expletive left your lips as Pete finally took his place by your side, his wide goofy grin drawing your eyes, he balanced the tray in one hand to give you a side hug that you willingly leaned into. “Baby you look great! How’ve you been?” You smiled, seeing Pete before re-entering the house was like a breath of fresh air. The two of you began your trek up the sidewalk.

“Doing my best Pete. Um what cha got in your hands there?” Your head nodding to the tray held in his hands. Pete followed your vision before smiling back at you “Tuna casserole! Couldn’t come empty handed you know.” Pete’s happy go lucky energy bringing a small smile to your face, the two of you stopped before entering the house. You adjusted the box in your hands, free hand reaching out to gently squeeze Pete’s bicep.

“Oh you poor kind soul, they’re gonna fuck you up in there.” The words cause Pete’s smile to falter as you send him a toothy one of your own before walking through the door and holding it open for Pete to walk through. As you both walked through the front entrance you caught the tail end of what sounded to have been a hostile conversation, Pete stealing the show by making his presence known. You had half the mind to leave Pete to defend himself, but a part of you would’ve felt bad for letting someone as sweet as Pete take the heat alone. You walked around Pete sitting on the arm of the chair Mikey was sitting in, his arm going to wrap around your waist unconsciously.

“You know it’s seven fishes, right Pete?” Mikey’s question drew the rest of the room's attention to the tray Pete was still happily holding. The room burst with voices as almost everyone took turns berating Pete. You leaned back slightly so you weren’t blocking Mikey’s view before turning your head in Richie’s direction hoping to gain his attention.

You reached behind Mikey’s back to pinch Richie’s arm his eyebrows shooting up an offended look on his features as his head turned to you, “What the fuck was that for Baby? Pete’s the one with the eighth fish.” You rolled your eyes hand grabbing the gift bag from its place on the box, maneuvering around Mikey’s imposing body before handing it off to Richie, “Merry Christmas Richie, its for you and Tiff so don’t open it without her,” You scolded raising your eyebrows to further cement your message. “It's from mom, she um, she didn’t get to finish it so I apologize if my knitting skills didn’t do it justice.” The last part quickly added on in a joking tone as you noticed Richie’s eyes taking on a solemn look to them.

He gently grabbed the gift bag out of your hand, a slight nod sent in your direction as he gave your hand a comforting squeeze. “Thank you Baby, means a lot.” You smiled back quickly, turning back to the conversation, not wanting to get caught up in any more unwanted emotions.

Carmy’s voice breaking through the onslaught of shit Pete was getting, “Hey, family. Come on, let’s sit. Okay dinner’s ready, alright.” Your eyes connected with his baby blues as you subtly tried to adjust the envelope sitting on the box so the bow could hide the recipient’s name. Your gaze was snatched away from Carmy as your attention was directed to Mikey who was whispering in your ear. Carmy did his best not to let the sight bother him, Mikey drilling his ass in the pantry earlier about what he accused the two of you of. It was hard not to though when you had so comfortably leaned into Mikey’s body whispering your own secret back into his ear, the sight of Mikey’s thumb rubbing gentle circles in the material of your shirt that was covering your waist causing Carmy’s head to spin, quickly removing his attention to Pete to ease his insecurities.

You hadn’t noticed Carmy’s eyes glued to you as you exchanged hushed whispers with Mikey, “What the fuck did you end up buying him?” Mikey’s words caressed your lips as his free hand tapped against the present sitting in your lap. You followed his hands before whispering back to him, “Something that I’m not even sure was worth saving up like 10 paychecks for this shit.” You scoffed feeling a bit miffed about the present since you and Carmy were still on uncertain terms. Mikey nodded a smile gracing his lips as he softly bumped his head into yours, “He’ll appreciate it Baby, I know he will.” You sent him a hopeful smile, you may have been annoyed with the youngest Berzatto and his antics, but you really did want him to like the gift.

“Yo Baby, Baby.” Your eyes found Carmy’s as he called for your attention, “What is that? What the fuck is Pete holding?” You quickly looked at Pete feeling bad that he was on trial before finding Carmy’s eyes again, a small smile finding your lips as you sent a shrug in his direction, not wanting to be the one to rat Pete’s good intentions out.

Carmy modded lips pursing as he wiped his hands down his face as he turned his attention to Steve knowing he’d give him a straight answer, “You’re gonna be upset, but his heart was in the right place, Carm. It’s a tuna casserole.” The slight flush you could see creeping up Carmy’s neck indicating the toll this mishap was taking on him.

You leaned into Mikey more, settling into a more comfortable position as you drowned out the rest of Pete’s trial. You were ready for the day to be over and you hadn’t even eaten dinner yet, you could feel your eyes slowly drifting shut as Mikey’s warm body pressed into your side, each rise and fall of his broad chest pulling you into the purgatory before sleep and consciousness.

The sound of Sugar’s voice jumping onto the tuna casserole bandwagon roused you from the little peacefulness you were beginning to find. You watched with drowsy eyes as she snatched the dish from his hands presumably disposing of it, you softly pat Mikey’s thigh before removing yourself from your seat intending to find somewhere to drop Carmy’s present off at. You stopped in the threshold of the door sending Pete a small smile, “If it makes you feel better Donna threatened to beat my mom’s ass when we showed up with collard greens and baked Mac n cheese our first Christmas here.” You gave a soft pat to his elbow hoping the anecdote helped him feel someone better.

You left the living room, eyes looking around for a practical spot to leave Carmy’s present. You debated leaving it on the small side table in the hallway, but you weren’t too sure if anyone would give it a second thought. Carmy stopped in the doorway of the kitchen as he found you standing in the hallway, the matte black box still clutched in your hands. He had half a mind to hide out in the kitchen until you left but knew he’d probably get shit from his mom about it.

He cleared his throat, gaining your attention as he took a few steps to lessen the distance between you. His hand raising up to scratch the back of his neck, eyes not meeting yours as he prepared himself to interact with you, “Ahem, I uh I overheard what you said to Pete. Is your mom doing okay? Was the trip out here too much for her?”

You stared at Carmen eyes cold and unwavering, you knew his question held no malicious intent but it still felt like a slap to the face. The silence from you finally caused Carmy’s eyes to meet your own, the soft color of your irises giving nothing away.

“She died eight months ago Carmen.” Carmy felt like his whole world had stop the voices in the background drowinng out as the bubble the two of you were standing in was filled with nothing but silence.

Carmy’s arm raised his head forcefully running through his hair, head darting to the side to compose himself. “Shit Baby, I’m sorry I-I didn’t know.”

You nodded eyes straying to the present in your hands swallowing the lump in your throat, “How would you?” An out of place laugh leaving your lips as you looked at Carmy, the kicked puppy expression on your face making you feel a little bad. Letting out a sigh you shook your head, “I’m sorry Carmy, that wasn’t fair.”

Carmy copied your motions, his own hand shaking as he reached out a gentle unsure hand to lay on top of yours, “No no, uh I think I deserved that one.” His boyish smile doing its best to offer you some form of comfort in this moment. Your eyes dropped to his mouth, the smile you hadn’t seen in so long unconsciously causing one to appear on your own lips, head dropping to the calloused hand gently on yours.

The hand quickly retreated to its owner, Carmy not wanting to push anymore boundaries, eyes looking at the box one more time a scapegoat from this conversation, “Uh so what’s in the box?” His hand gestured to the rather large decorative box that looked quite fancy now that he could see it up close.

You let out a shy chuckle, “It's uh actually for you. Merry Christmas.” You held out the box to him urging him to take it out of your hands. His eyes shot down to the box, surprised you had even thought about him, “If you don’t feel like opening it now I could just leave it in your room.” Your head motioning up the stairs.

Carmy stepped back nodding his head, “Uh yeah please if you don’t mind.” He sent you an awkward smile, guilt creeping up his chest. You smiled turning to head up stairs and drop his present off, he called out to you as made it halfway up the stairs. You stopped turning to face him, “I uh, I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

Carmy watched as you drew your lips up into a broad smile. He knew it was fake though, that small sparkle wasn’t in your eyes, the edges of them not crinkling either the way he had once been used to your pretty teeth not making an appearance for him either. He watched as you sent him a small shrug, “It’s okay Carmy, I wasn’t expecting one anyway.” You resumed your journey upstairs to his room.

Carmen was left alone at the bottom of the staircase, eyes still glued to the spot you were just minutes ago. He closed his eyes trying to get a deep breath into his lungs. Carmy was trying to understand how he had ever deserved to once have you in his life, he was a grade A fucking asshole to you, and you still treated him with the same love and thoughtfulness you always had. Carmy made a decision in that moment, as soon as this night was over, he was buying you a fucking Christmas present.

You closed the door behind you as you exited Carmy’s childhood room, the air of nostalgia pressing down on you while you were in there almost suffocating you. You had been in there entirely too long, easily getting caught up in how much easier life was when you and Carmy used to build pillow forts and tell ghost stories in there. You had meant to just place the present at the foot of his bed and go, but you found yourself getting caught up in the memories and flipping through the various culinary books that had been sitting on the nightstand paying extra close attention to the pages that had been tabbed.

By the time you made it to the dining room everyone had sat down and the only empty seat was to the right of Sugar and directly across from Carmy. You walked in brows pitched together at the commotion that could be heard, eyes locking with Carmy’s at the same time something aggressively hit your thigh.

A chorus of “Michael” could be heard around the dining room. You looked down at the sound of metal clanging against metal, one fork laying next to your foot another a little ways in front of it. Bending down you scooped the two forks up in your hand. You looked around the table even more confused than you already were eyes darting to Mikey as he threw his arms open in greeting, “Baby! Nice of you to join us, mind doing me a favor and handing me those forks?” Your eyes flashed to the forks in your hand before taking in everyone’s expressions around the table.

You had no clue what you had just walked into. You looked in Carmy and Nat’s direction, the two of them subtly shaking their heads. Your eyes found Mikey’s again a little unnerved by the look in his eyes, “They were just on the floor so I’ll just go wash them off real qui-.”

The sound of palms slamming against the table cut off your explanation causing you to flinch where you were standing, eyes still glued to Mikey, “Sorry Baby, I’m sorry,” his hands raised in a placating gesture. “Just hand me the forks alright, don't needa wash ‘em off,” You gulped your head nodding slowly as you took the few steps in Mikey’s direction. He carefully took them from your grip, a mocking smile pulling at his lips.

You gave him a small nod quickly retreating to your seat. You shuffled your chair in Stevie helping to push the back of it. All was silent for a moment as everyone looked at each other, you doing everything in your power to avoid anyone’s eyes. A quiet laugh broke the silence followed a whispered “Of fucking course.”

Mikey’s eyes snapped back to Lee eyes zeroing in on the older man, “What did you just say?” The question sounded more like a demand to your ears. Lee laughed again shrugging his shoulders turning his own eyes to glare at Mikey, “I said of course she’s gonna fucking do what you say the girl has no fucking backbone.”

An echo of “Lee,” and “What the fuck,” could be heard from both Richie and Cicero, one trying to the diffuse the situation, the other not settling for the unwarranted disrespect thrown at you. Your head shot up a frown decorating your features eyes locking on Carmy’s as he shook his a head a plea for you to ignore it and not further feed into the chaos

You ignored Carmy turning in your chair to face Lee, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean Lee?” Stevie’s hand reached up to lightly pat your shoulder trying to calm you down before aggressively being shrugged off.

Lee faced you with a sardonic smile pressing into his lips “Is somebody gonna tell her? Do I have to tell her?” He looked around the table looking for anyone to take the reins from him, “I’m sorry that nobodies honest with you sweetheart, but you’re just a glorified lap dog.” He shrugged his shoulders as if in apology, “Just a bitch he keeps on a leash.”

Your mouth opened a little bit confused as to how this conversation had become a personal attack on you. Everyone at the table had brought forth different reactions after that revelation, anyone who knew Mikey knew he didn’t take kindly to disrespect thrown your way. You felt a foot nudge yours under the table taking you away from the ensuing chaos. You turned to Sugar who was focused on the scene in front of her too worried about Mikey to be paying attention to you. You felt the nudge again, eyes finding Carmen's eyebrows raised in a silent question, eyes searching your face to catch any remaining emotions, you smoothed out the frown on your face sending him a small nod to let him know you were fine.

The two of you were drawn back to the argument before you as the two men began berating each other again, voices growing louder by the second. You watched Mikey’s face lose any sort of emotion as Lee took a shot at his drug use. You felt your heart squeeze in your chest at Mikey’s reaction, you couldn’t lie you thought both men were being extremely childish but you hated how that was one of the things people latched onto when purposely trying to hurt Mikey.

The table remained silent; the only sound filling the room was the ticking of a clock in the background, everyone doing their best to not cause any reasons to incite more violence. The anxiety caused you to bounce your leg up and down unsure as to where the rest of this night was going, you felt a foot gently tap the toe of your shoe, something Carmy used to do whenever you needed reassurance that everything would be okay and other forms of physical contact were impossible.

You watched as Mikey pawned Pete’s fork from its set place, an uproar going around the table pleading with Mikey. You sat there silently watching the scene if 10 other people hadn’t already gotten through to Mikey, you were sure and 11th voice joining the mix would be completely useless at this point.

Sugar’s voice cut through the chaos attention zeroed in on Mikey, “Michael. Please don’t do this.” You watched as Mikey focused his attention on Sugar, “I love you.” Being her final plea as Mikey seemed to be weighing his options. The discourse between the two continued as everybody watched with bated breath waiting to see what the next move would be.

Steve’s unwarranted giggle broke Michael’s focus, his rush of apologies being brushed off by Mikey all in the name of fun. Cicero decided he might be the one to finally get through to Mikey playing his hand at mediator. You watched Mikey’s erratic behavior in silence, you weren’t usually privy to this side of Mikey, never being in town long enough to catch one of his episodes. It scared you, and it wasn’t necessarily Mikey that was scaring you but knowing that his switch could be flipped in such a timely manner that had you worrying about his safety.

The argument being nowhere near resolved as Lee’s constant instigating kept fueling the fire. Mikey’s sudden movement to stand up caused your heart to race, you honestly couldn’t give two shits about Lee’s wellbeing, your only concern was Mikey and what was going through his head at that moment.

You held your head in your hands that were propped up on the table by your elbows, the impending headache beginning to make an appearance. The animal noises coming from Mikey’s direction doing nothing to ease the ache behind your eyes. Doing your best to drown out Lee’s constant attack on Mikey’s character.

The clapping around the table drawing your head up as Donna danced into the dining room, you felt so exhausted you couldn’t even muster up a fake smile to appease her. “What did I miss?” Donna laughed as she made her way to her seat, a quiet “nothing” being her answer. “I missed something,” she said while sitting in her designated spot.

Donna’s eyes met yours, letting out another laugh “Jesus you look fucking miserable Baby. I definitely missed something.” You let out a small chuckle forcing your lips into a pathetic smile, you hand coming up to play with your own fork that was sat on the place mat, “Nothing Mama D, just Lee being a fucking cunt.”

The table fell quiet any hope for a somewhat peaceful family dinner squandered by your remark. All eyes flocked to Donna as she let out a full belly laugh, hand coming down to hit the table. The same hand moving up to point at you, “Now that’s fucking funny Baby.” A shit eating grin stretching across your face, Carmy letting out an exasperated sigh at his mom feeding into your antics.

“Uh, Stevie, Stevie’s about to say grace, Ma.” Mikey interjected trying to stir Christmas dinner back on his rightful course, Donna looked appeased eyes happily finding Steve’s figure as she waited for him to begin. A small back and forth between Mikey and Stevie ensued before that latter began his prayer.

“Um..Hey. Uh.. that we’re all…” Michelle’s laugh interrupting her partner causing you to laugh but quickly stopping at the soft pinch on your thigh earned from Sugar. You fell silent as you listened to Stevie give what seemed more like an awkward ramble rather than a prayer.

You could feel Carmy’s eyes darting across your figure as Stevie gave his explanation of what he thought the seven fishes symbolized. “I think that spending time and using that time on the people that we love is how we show them that we love them.” You had looked up in that moment, eyes connecting with Carmy’s piercing blue ones. Neither of you gave into the urge to look away, instead drinking each other in like two plants feeling the first drop of rain after a drought.

Your attention both drawn away by Donna’s quiet sniffles a chorus of praises sent in her direction in order to calm her aching heart.

“You okay?” Natalie’s question causes you to flop back in your chair, eyes clenching shut. You knew all Nat had was good intentions and would always be the first one to put Donna’s mental well-being first, but you also knew what it felt like to feel so overstimulated that those two measly would send you in a downward spiral.

“Do you know how much I fucking hate it when you ask me that? Do I not look okay Natalie?” Donna’s mood shifted just as quickly as it had been the whole day. Her unknown limit was reached in the span of a minute.

“Not really.” Michelle’s subtle shade drew a hardly restrained laugh out of you, “Oh, fuck you Michelle.” Donna snapped before setting her sights on you, “Is something funny Baby? Hmm?” The question causes the lingering smile to immediately drop your back going straight against the chair, your head quickly shaking back and forth throat clearing before answering Donna, “No ma’am.” You admitted head still on a swivel to ease Donna’s agitation.

You glanced at Carmy, his whole being sunken in as he looked at you as if your existence was exhausting him at this moment. Regardless of Carmen’s look you know your mom would’ve crucified your ass for walking into Donna Berzatto’s house and feeling comfortable enough to disrespect her not only to her face, but with a bunch of her peers around.

“Are you motherfuckers okay?” Donna continued on letting her subdued rage out the table silent so as to not enrage her any further. “Fuck you!” The smashing of glass as the plate hit the ground causing you to flinch, leg knocking into Carmy’s from the sudden noise, his knee tapping yours twice to reassure you everything would be fine.

Donna made her exit while berating Sugar, who sat there speechless unaware of why her need to make sure her mom was well was taken as a personal attack. Lee’s unprovoked comment about Donna’s tirade irritating you along with Michelle’s comment about it being her worst moment.

It was funny to you how each and everyone sitting at this table would drag themselves here every year. To sit in Donna’s house, to eat Donna’s food. To reap the rewards of the countless hours of Donna’s hard work, only to dismiss her because she had become so overstimulated the only reaction she knew to give was unadulterated rage.

You saw Mikey’s hand move before the fork flew across the table narrowly missing Lee’s head. The older man jumping up no longer tolerating the eldest Berzatto’s antics, Mikey following suit the clattering of the dishes loud as he threw his side of the table. The two men trying to force themselves out of the arms of the people holding them back seemingly ready to tear each other apart.

Silence fell upon the room as a loud crash was heard, the screeching of tires following after. You stood up from your seat mouth dropping open at the Mercedes Benz now sitting in the dining room. Mikey’s voice screaming at Donna to open the door as Sugar tightly grasped your arm lingering on the table, trying to ground herself. The two of you are the only remaining guests still sitting down. Your eyes followed Carmy’s as he stared blankly at the fork lodged into a cannoli.

Your head was pounding at this point, the small headache from earlier now feeling more like a migraine. You slipped your arm from Sugar’s grasp removing yourself from the dining room table as quietly as you could, you quickly walked to the front door. Every bone in your body was screaming at you to walk out that door and not come back, to protect your own peace. You plopped down on the porch step head resting against your knees, as much as you wanted to leave, your heart wouldn’t allow you to leave the Berzatto siblings to this mess alone.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come home with us?” Sugar asked one final time as her and Pete were standing in the open doorway. “Pete will take you to the airport in a couple of hours.” You smiled pulling Sugar into a hug, the two of you lingering in the other’s embrace a much needed hug after the day you had.

You pulled back, placing a kiss against her cheek, “Get home Nat, I’ll have Mikey drop me off.” You could tell she was ready to protest but Pete grabbed her elbow gaining her attention, “She’s right you need rest.” You nodded in agreement with Pete, happy that Nat had found someone who would always put her first.

“Listen to Pete Nat, I promise I’ll be fine,” You gave her hand a squeeze the uncertainty still clinging to her features before she let out an exhausted sigh head nodding as she pulled you into one last quick hug. “Call me as soon as you get home okay?” It was your turn to nod, urging the two of them out the door before closing and locking it behind them.

You leaned your head against the cool surface of the door, you had no desire to sit on a plane for four hours, but you also had no desire to extend your stay in Chicago for longer than needed. Sighing you made your way into the kitchen to make sure all the appliances were turned off before flipping off the lights and making your way to the stairs.

The closing of a door caught your attention, your eyes shooting up and landing on Carmy’s tired face, the bags under his eyes seeming to have darkened from the stress of the day. He stopped in his tracks looking at you as well, eyes not blinking for a moment, “You’re still here?” His question caused you to frown confused at the hostile question.

His eyes darted across your face, throat clearing, “No, I uh didn’t mean it like that. Just thought you would’ve been gone by now.” You nodded understanding where he was coming from. “I’m actually looking for Mikey, have you seen him? He’s supposed to take me to the airport.”

Carmy felt his jaw clench at the mention of Mikey, he was getting real fucking tired of hearing about the two of you together. He didn’t know why it bothered him so much but he hadn’t expected to be spending his first Christmas home in a while worrying about Mikey’s role in your life.

“Uh, Mikey took off a bit ago. I don’t think he’ll be home anytime soon.” You felt your eyes instinctively close a tired sigh escaping through your lips. The last thing you wanted to do was head to the airport this early and wait for your flight. You had hoped you’d be able to catch a quick nap before heading out.

“I could, ahem, I could drive you.” You watched as Carmy ran a hand through his hair, eyes looking everywhere but you, “I mean only if you want though you know?” You felt a small smile tug at your lips, Carmy's awkward behavior endearing to you, you could tell he felt self-conscious about even offering up such an idea, and you understood, it was kind of out of left field for two people who hadn’t been on the best of terms.

“Honestly Carmy I would fucking love that,” You smiled in his direction thankful that you could count on one of the Berzatto brothers. “Um do you think I can take a shower though, kind of just wanna wash the day off.” You gave a small chuckle to try and alleviate any tension your request may have caused.

You watched Carmy’s head nod rapidly, words failing him in that moment. He turned heading to his childhood room expecting you to follow in his footsteps. You entered behind him, the room feeling impossibly smaller with the two of you now taking up space. You watched Carmy frantically move around the room returning to your side with a stack of clothes in his hand, you smiled gratefully taking the clothes from his hand before making your way towards the en suite.

Carmy watched as you closed the door behind you, hands moving to run down his face as his brain tried to piece together how after everything that had gone down today, you were taking a shower in his childhood bathroom.

You stepped out of the shower quickly wrapping the fluffy towel that you had found under the sink around your body. Your hand reached up to wipe the steam off the mirror, you stood there for a moment taking in your appearance grateful to have taken a shower but a little nervous about spending time in close quarters with Carmy after being apart for so long.

Your eyes turned to the pile of clothes sitting atop the countertop, you took inventory of the items. A white tee shirt that you just knew hugged Carmy deliciously, sweats that were sure to be baggy on your frame, a pair of socks and boxers you hoped had been washed prior to being offered to you.

The lotion bottle sitting next to the sink caught your attention, not giving it a second thought as you reached for Carmy’s signature scent lathering it on your body and quickly getting dressed. You exited the bathroom throwing your damp towel in the hamper next to the bathroom door. Taking a step into the room your eyes found Carmy sitting on his twin sized bed, legs propped up as a book rested on his knees, highlighter clenched between his teeth as he raptly read his book.

It wasn’t the position that kept your focus though. It was the tank top that showed off his toned biceps, shoulders sculpted just right. His signature gold chain complimenting the white tank top. You did your best to stop staring, eyes skating across his ink covered skin as an excuse to keep checking him out.

“You’re staring.” Your eyes shot to Carmy’s face, his eyes still stuck on his book. You cleared your throat gaining his attention, hand gesturing to the door behind you, “I hope you don’t mind I kind of used your shower gel…and your lotion.” Carmy nodded listening to you speak, “I drew the line at your 2in1 Head and Shoulders though, that was a real disappointment Carmen.” You sent him a teasing smile as you made your way to his bedroom door.

“Wait where are you going?” You stopped looking back at Carmy confusion washing over your face, “I was just gonna nap on the couch, I don’t want to intrude in your space any longer,” You calmly explained. Carmy stared at you for a few minutes, bright eyes drilling holes into your own, you watched as he moved to the opposite side of the bed before patting the spot he had just been in “Just uh, nap here okay?” You felt your heart rate pick up at the gesture, a little annoyed that basic human decency had your heart trying to race out of your chest.

Carmy raised his eyes in your direction waiting for you to take the spot. You quickly shuffled over, adjusting the pillow so you could lay down comfortably. You laid down on your right side, head facing Carmy, studying his face as he read. Watching as every few minutes he would highlight a sentence he probably found particularly interesting. His eyes so focused on what was in front of him you almost wondered if his body remembered how to blink. Your eyes traced down the side of his face, gliding down his neck and landing on his gold chain that caused your body to warm, your tongue peeking out unconsciously to lick your lips.

Continuing your path across Carmy’s shoulder your hand reached up to gently caress his ‘773’ tattoo. Index finger tracing every number before making its way down to what appeared to be a measuring cup holding the world.

Carmy’s head shot in your direction at the first touch of your soft finger against his skin, he watched your finger carefully tracing the ink lining his arms. He saw the concentration on your face doing his best to hold back a sigh at the feel of your skin against his. He had to convince himself to not reach out and push the hair out of your face to get a clear view of what you looked like at this angle. Carmy allowed you to continue your investigation, his own eyes darting across the visible side of your face, eyes falling to your pulse point imagining what it would feel like to place his hand there. His eyes were drawn to the medium sized ‘B’ in a typewriter-like font painted in the space behind your ear.

Carmy shakily reached out hand cupping the left side of your neck as his thumb gently ran back and forth over the single letter, “Baby?” You looked up at Carmy eyes meeting his as he tapped the ink behind your ear to signify what he was questioning. You gulped feeling the tension in the air as his eyes searched back and forth between your own.

“It could stand for Berzatto if you wanted it to.” You weren’t sure where the confidence to allow that whisper to leave your lips came from, but you weren’t going to pretend you regretted it.

You watched Carmy’s Adam's apple bob up and down. The grip of his hand tightening against your neck momentarily as he coughed before removing his hand. Eyes leaving yours as he shut the book still laying in his lap and placed it on the bedside table, “Ahem, It's late, get some rest I’ll wake you when it's time to leave.” You were given no time to interject as Carmy turned off his bedside lamp and turned so his back was facing you.

You sighed eyes now piercing the space between his shoulder blades. Leaning forward you pressed a small gentle kiss to the bare skin of his shoulder. “Goodnight Carmen. Sweet dreams.” You turned as well, not even being able to face his back.

Carmy’s breath caught in his throat, your lips feeling as if they had been branded into his skin. He took the chance adjusting his own body around, the size of his childhood bed causing the two of you to be pressed flushed together. The soft gasp you let out causing his heart to race his mind going a mile a minute, thoughts doing their best to talk him out of whatever the hell he thought he was doing right now.

His arm found its way around your waist pulling you impossibly closer to him, your backside pretty much in his lap at this point. Neither of you said a word. Carmy's face made its home in the crook of your neck. The faint scent of your lavender and vanilla perfume lulling him into a dreamlike state.

a/n: goodness did i hate the first draft of this chapter : ( and i still hate this draft, but the carmy x reader fluff at the end made me feel better lol. the family dinner truly killed me though and i’m so glad to be done with the christmas arc. i hope you all enjoy please like/reblog/comment or interact in whatever way you feel comfortable. i appreciate you all so much thank you for the support! 💜

idk if this needed to be said or not but this is obviously and AU at this point lol

tag list: @hawkins-2000 @elliesbabygirl @allbark-no-bite @anakinswh0re3005 @rexorangecouny @thecraziestcrayon @fruitcupsworld @nishinoyahhh @lilylovelyxo @ridingthehotmessexpress @noas-ark @jadeittic @hellokittyever @luvr-bunnyy @sxgees @fandomhopped @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @kravitzwhore @chanluuvr @readingwiththereids @chims-kookies @ladygrey03 @ferida-kahlo @wanderlustnightwanderer @how2besalty @armydrcamers @gcidrvsh @fire-treasure-iii @frequentnosebleeder @kailyn-g05 @khena

i hope i got everyone, strikethrough means i couldn’t tag : (

[thornyrose463]

A Tale Of Three Dojos (Cobra Kai story): Chapter 5

Carmen and Miguel were in their apartment.

Miguel was stretching.

“Miggy, you've been at it since 6 a.m. That's a lot of stretching.” Carmen said.

“The tournament's in a month. Sensei's going to be kicking our asses all week.” Miguel said.

“And you like that?” Carmen asked.

“Yeah, I do.” Miguel said.

Johnny and Sarah stood outside of Carmen and Miguel’s apartment.

Johnny knocked on the door.

Carmen opened the door.  

“Hey, Johnny. Hey, Sarah.” Carmen greeted.

“Hey.” Johnny greeted.

“Hey.” Sarah greeted.

Sarah was wearing a red long-sleeved shirt, black leggings, and red high-top Adidas sneakers with black laces. Her naturally straight blonde hair was tied up in a high ponytail. She had on a light amount of black eyeliner, a light amount of black mascara, and soft brown eyeshadow. Her lip balm was a pretty peach colour.

Johnny and Sarah walked through the door.

Carmen looked at Johnny. “Your student is ready for some intense training.”

“Oh, is he? All right, we'll see about that.” Johnny said.

“All right, let me...” Miguel paused. “Oh, I forgot my water bottle in your car.”

“Uh…The keys are on my nightstand.” Carmen said.

“Okay.” Miguel walked away.

Johnny sighed. “I think we should tell him tonight.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Carmen said.

“You sure you're not going to back out this time?” Johnny asked.

“I wanted to make sure we did it right.” Carmen said.

“We'll take him to dinner. What's his favourite restaurant?” Johnny asked.

“Uh…He likes Applebee's.” Carmen said.

“Uh…That’s not going to work. I had a little incident there once.” Johnny said.

“What happened?” Carmen asked.

“You know how they make that loaded potato soup?” Johnny asked.

“Yeah.” Carmen said.

“It’s like...” Johnny trailed off.

Miguel walked out of Carmen’s room. “Sensei…”  

Johnny, Sarah, and Carmen turned to Miguel. He was holding Johnny’s black headband.

Miguel looked back and forth from Johnny to Carmen. “I think this is yours.”

Johnny sighed.

Sarah looked at Miguel and said, “You might want to sit down for this.”

Johnny, Sarah, Carmen, and Miguel walked into the living room. Sarah and Miguel sat on the couch. Johnny and Carmen sat across from them.

“Here's the thing…” Johnny trailed off.

“We wanted...” Carmen trailed off.

“You go.” Johnny told Carmen.

“No, you.” Carmen told Johnny.

Miguel spoke. “Someone should go.”  

“So, your mom and I are hooking up.” Johnny said.

“Not just hooking up.” Carmen said.

“Uh…You see, when two people...When two people are...Attracted to each other...” Johnny trailed off.

“Oh, my God! Just say you’re dating,” Sarah groaned in embarrassment, burying her head in her hands.

“We’re dating.” Johnny said.

“We didn't mean for either of you to find out the way you did.” Carmen said.  

Miguel looked at Sarah and asked, “How did you find out?”

“She walked out of my dad’s room one morning.” Sarah said.

Miguel frowned.

“Miggy, are you okay?” Carmen asked.

“Yeah, I'm fine. Uh…I think. Surprised, but also not super surprised. I would have chosen someone with better food in their refrigerator, but other than that, Sensei's a good guy. As long as you're happy, I'm happy.” Miguel said.

“We are.” Carmen said.

“We’re very happy.” Johnny said.

“Cool. Uh…Can I get my water bottle now?” Miguel asked.

“Yes.” Carmen said.

“Okay.” Miguel walked away.

Carmen chuckled. “Piece of cake.”

“Told you he'd be cool.” Johnny said.

“Oh, did you?” Carmen asked.  

“Yeah.” Johnny said.

“Mm-hm.” Carmen kissed Johnny.

“Oh, I just hope it sticks.” Carmen said.

“What does that mean?” Johnny asked.

Carmen sighed. “It might take some time for Miguel to get used to the situation. Let's just make sure we give him the room he needs to adjust.”

“Yeah.” Johnny said.

Devon arrived at the Eagle Fang dojo. Her fellow students and Johnny were already there.

“Listen up, nerds. Today's going to be a world of pain. Now, everyone fall in.” Johnny told Devon’s fellow students.

Devon’s fellow students formed a line.

“We have a new member joining us today. This is Devon Lee, our new potential female champion.” Johnny said.

Devon spoke. “Hi. My pronouns are she/her.”

"The only pronouns we accept in this dojo are sensei and student." Johnny said.

“Those are nouns.” Devon said.

Johnny took a step towards Devon. “Oh, I'm sorry. I think what I meant to say is…”

“Quiet!” Johnny yelled.

Devon flinched. “That's an imperative.”

“Get in line.” Johnny told Devon.

Devon stood next to Sarah.

Johnny paced back and forth. “Today's lesson is about cheating. At Eagle Fang Karate, we don't believe in fighting dirty. Cobra Kai doesn't follow the same rules, so we have to be ready for any dirty trick they throw at us.”

"Like when Chong Li threw dirt into Van Damme’s eyes in Bloodsport." Devon said.

"Exactly. Looks like someone did their prep work." Johnny said.

"And I saw the sequels too. Not to mention Delta Force, Billy Jack, The Octagon, and Lady Dragon. Cynthia Rothrock is a beast." Devon said.

"Hell yeah, she is." Johnny agreed.

"I saw Last Dragon." Mitch said.

"Shut the hell up, Penis Breath!" Johnny yelled.

"Everyone, get ready. I'm going to put you through the wringer.” Johnny said.

Johnny gestured to Sarah and Miguel. “Except for you two. Up here with me."

“Huh?” Sarah asked.

"What?" Miguel asked.

"The tournament's around the corner. Can't afford you getting hurt." Johnny said.

Sarah and Miguel stood next to Johnny.

"This is going to get a little dangerous. You be co-senseis today. Sound good?” Johnny asked.

Sarah and Miguel sighed. Johnny gave each of them a pat on the back.  

"Okay, everybody, get ready. Let's begin!" Johnny yelled.

Johnny tied one of Devon’s arms behind her back.

Johnny tied one of Bert’s arms behind his back.

Devon and Bert were in a fighting stance, circling each other. Johnny was watching them.

Johnny spoke. “Cobra Kai pops out your shoulder, be ready to fight with one arm.”

Devon spoke. “Like in Best of the Best.”

Devon tried to kick Bert, but she missed.

“That's too far back, and you're overextending your kick. Try it ag…” Johnny trailed off.

Devon managed to kick Bert.

Bert groaned.

“Not bad.” Johnny said.

“I pride myself on never making the same mistake twice.” Devon said.

“Sarah and I can do this, Sensei.” Miguel said.

“Yeah.” Sarah said.

“I know, but you’re way above this beginner stuff. Don't worry. You can help with the next lesson, all right?” Johnny asked Sarah and Miguel.

Johnny gave Sarah a pat on the shoulder, then he ruffled Miguel’s hair. Miguel frowned.

Johnny untied Devon’s arm.

Johnny untied Bert’s arm.

Mitch and another boy were sparring. Johnny took a handful of dirt from the box that was in Miguel’s hands and threw it at them.

“Shit! I can't see!” Mitch yelled.

“Use your other senses.” Johnny told Mitch.

Mitch ran headfirst into a shelf. He fell.

"It's all right, Penis Breath. You'll get him next time." Johnny said.

Sarah and Miguel helped Mitch up.

The boys, minus Miguel, formed a line.

Johnny walked back and forth. "No trick is too dirty, and no blow is too low for them. We have to be ready for it."

Devon made her way to a boy and kicked him in the groin. He groaned.

Devon made her way to another boy and kicked him in the groin. He groaned.

Devon made her way to Bert and kicked him in the groin. He groaned.

Devon made her way to Mitch and kicked him in the groin.

Devon looked at Johnny and said, "I got him good on that one."

"My McNuggets,” Mitch groaned.

“If you feel like you're going to vomit, swallow it.” Johnny told Mitch.

“They’re wearing cups, right?” Johnny asked Miguel.

Miguel shook his head.

After class, Johnny handed ice packs to the boys Devon had kicked. "Good job today. Everyone, ice up. We're back at it tomorrow.”

Johnny looked at Miguel. “Your mom wants us to have a family dinner tonight, so don't be home too late.”

Bert and Mitch looked angry as they walked towards Sarah and Miguel.

Mitch pressed his ice pack to Miguel’s chest. “Must be nice being the teacher’s favourites.”

Bert put his ice pack in Sarah’s hand. “Yeah. Is he going to tuck you guys in?”

Sarah was sitting at the kitchen table in Carmen and Miguel’s apartment. Carmen and Johnny were sitting across from her.

“Why is he so late?” Carmen asked.

Johnny grabbed Carmen’s hand. “I’m sure it’s fine.”

“I’m going to kill him when he gets here,” Carmen mumbled angrily.

“Maybe my dad and I should go.” Sarah said.  

Sarah was wearing an unbuttoned dark blue denim jacket, a white t-shirt with horizontal black stripes, dark blue denim jeans, and black low-top Converse sneakers with white laces. Her naturally straight blonde hair was down. She had on a light amount of black eyeliner, a light amount of black mascara, and soft brown eyeshadow. Her lip balm was a pretty peach colour.

“What? No. I need him to have my back.” Carmen said.

“When my mom's boyfriends tried to discipline me, I didn't want to hear it. I don't want him to think I'm an asshоlе.” Johnny said.

“Johnny, things are different now.” Carmen said.  

Miguel walked into the apartment. “Hey.”

"Where have you been? You have to tell me when you're going to be late." Carmen told Miguel.

"Sorry. I lost track of time." Miguel said.

Johnny spoke. "He lost track of time."

Carmen gave Johnny a stern look.    

“Which is very irresponsible, and you can't worry your mom like that." Johnny told Miguel.

"I was just hanging out with Sam." Miguel said.

"See? He was hanging out with his girlfriend. I get it." Johnny said.

Carmen looked at Miguel. “We just want you to be safe.”  

Carmen turned to Johnny. “Right?”

“Right. We want you to be safe. Always wear protection.” Johnny told Miguel.

“What?” Miguel asked.

“What? No.” Carmen said.

“No?” Johnny nervously looked back and forth from Miguel and Carmen. "No, don’t wear protection." 

“Johnny...” Carmen trailed off.

Johnny looked at Miguel. “Uh…You let the girl decide that.”

Miguel stood up.

“Just stop it!” Miguel yelled. “At first, I thought it was a little weird that you two were together, but I figured I would just get over it because I wanted you to be happy, but...You said nothing was going to change. Now, everything has changed. It's weird at class. It’s weird here. I'm over it.”

Miguel walked away.

Carmen turned to Johnny. She looked upset. “Protection?”

The next day, Lia was in the library at West Valley Middle School.

Lia dropped a book. “Oops.”

Anthony picked up the book and handed it to Lia. “Beowulf. Um…Spoiler alert: It's not even about a werewolf.”

Lia chuckled. “Well, now I don't want it.”

“Yeah. You should try Animal Farm. Now, that's a book that lives up to its name. Straight up, it's just, like, animals on a farm.” Anthony said.

“Know what that reminds me of? That guy who lived next to the elementary school.” Lia said.

“Uh, Mr. Landry. With the…Uh, the chicken coops.” Anthony said.

Lia chuckled. “I…That was so long ago.”

“Yeah. It's kind of weird that we haven't really hung out since then. It'd be fun to do something.” Anthony said.

“It'd be nice to be friends like that again.” Lia said.

“Um…Uh, yeah.” Anthony said. “Yeah…Uh, friends.”

Lia smiled. “Well, let me know, and we'll catch up later.”

Lia left.

Kenny was reading a book.

Lia walked up to Kenny and put her hand on his shoulder. “Hey, strawberry ghost. Feel pretty real today.”

Kenny smiled. “Yep.”

Anthony sat next to Zack and Marcus.

Zack spoke. “Dude, you flinched.”

“You always win this game. We need a new game.” Marcus complained.

“Looks like everyone's doing something new.” Zack teased.

Anthony looked angry.

After gym glass, Anthony, Zack, and Marcus walked into the boys’ locker room.

“So, how many points do you think the new kid had on LaRusso today? Twenty? Thirty? Probably ten steals, and that's not even counting stealing his girl.” Zack joked.

Marcus laughed.

Anthony glared at Zack. “Okay, screw you, dude. Seriously.”

Zack laughed. “Easy, man. Just busting balls.”

“What balls?” Marcus asked.

Zack and Marcus laughed as they walked out of the locker room.

Kenny was in the shower. His clothes were on a bench. Anthony grabbed them and ran out of the locker room.

“Hey!” Kenny yelled.

Kenny ran out of the locker room.

Anthony was standing next to Zack and Marcus.

“Oh, my God! Look!” Zack yelled.

Anthony, Zack, Marcus, and some other students laughed.

Kenny looked embarrassed.

Kenny ran into the locker room and closed the door.

When Anthony got home from school, Daniel found Kenny’s hoodie in his room.  

Daniel walked into the living room.

Anthony was sitting on the couch and looking at his tablet.

Daniel spoke. “Hey, Anthony.”

Anthony spoke. “Hey.”  

Daniel held up Kenny’s hoodie. “I found something in your room you need to explain.”

Anthony put his tablet away.

“Oh…Um…” Anthony trailed off.

“If this is you trying to seem cool at school or rebel against me or something…” Daniel trailed off.

“No, no, no. It's not mine. I'm holding it for a friend.” Anthony said.

Daniel didn’t look like he believed Anthony.

Anthony sighed. “Okay…Um, there's this kid in school who's in Cobra Kai. He has been giving me a hard time recently.”

“Wait. Giving you a hard time? Are you okay? What did they do?” Daniel asked worriedly.

“Oh…Uh, you know, just messing around. Name calling. It's no big deal,” Anthony said nervously.

Daniel sat next to Anthony.

Daniel sighed. “Anthony, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Listen, I know what it feels like. I promise I'm not going to let Cobra Kai hurt you.”

“It's...It's not that bad. Honestly, I...” Anthony trailed off.

“No. I thought there might end up being a problem like this. I should have...” Daniel paused. “You're not a little kid anymore. It's time. Go on up. Get changed.”

“For what?” Anthony asked.

“Just go upstairs. Get changed.” Daniel told Anthony.

In the backyard, the Miyagi-Do students were practicing for the skills competition.

Sam handed a pair of sai to Demetri.

Demetri looked scared. “You realize by giving me these, you’ve dramatically increased my odds of being stabbed to death.”

“Believe me, I'd rather be training to fight Tory. We have to work on these skills if we want to win.” Sam told Demetri.

Chris grunted as he broke a wooden board.

Daniel and Anthony walked into the backyard.

Anthony had his cell phone in his hand.    

Anthony chuckled. “Okay, this is pretty cool.”

“I thought you'd like it.” Daniel said.

“You never said I'd get to use weapons.” Anthony said.  

“You don't. Not yet. When Mr. Miyagi first showed me this place, I was like you. I didn't know what to make of it all. Definitely didn't appreciate it. I just knew I needed help defending myself. I'm not going to lie to you, Anthony. Learning karate isn't easy. It takes a lot of work.” Daniel said.

“Yeah.” Anthony said.

“But listen, think of it like a video game. It might not be exciting at level one when you're learning the controls, but the more you play, the more skills you get, and before you know it, level twelve. You're hooked. Plus, I'll give you some of the cheat codes along the way. Come on.” Daniel told Anthony.

Daniel and Anthony began walking towards the cars.

“Hey, what’s the Wi-Fi?” Anthony asked.

“What? There is no Wi-Fi. Put that thing away.” Daniel told Anthony.

Anthony put his phone away.

“There are no distractions at Miyagi-Do. Just you, your heart, and your mind, so get ready to enter a world so much more exhilarating than anything you will ever see on that phone. Are you ready to begin this journey?” Daniel asked.

“Uh…Yeah.” Anthony said.

Daniel and Anthony reached the cars.

The cars were covered in bird poop.

“Oh, my God,” Anthony muttered.

“As you can see, I forgot to put the covers on when I left last night.” Daniel said.

“It's like a Jackson Pollock painting.” Anthony said.

“Anthony, get ready for your first Miyagi-Do lesson. Today, we call it “soap on, crap off.” I'm going to show you exactly how to do it, then you're going to clean the cars while I help Mom at the dealership. How does that sound?” Daniel asked.

“Honestly?” Anthony asked.

“Remember, level one.” Daniel reminded Anthony.

“Level one.” Anthony repeated.

“I'll get the bucket. It's going to be fun.” Daniel walked away.

“Jesus,” Anthony muttered.

Daniel returned home and saw that the cars were clean. He was angry when he discovered Anthony had hired a man to clean them. He told the man to leave.

“I can't believe this. Anthony, you can't just pay people to do the hard work. Part of growing up is to learn how to accomplish something on your own.” Daniel said.

“I know.” Anthony said.

“If Mr. Miyagi was here, you know what he would say right now?” Daniel asked.

“I don't care.” Anthony said.

“What?” Daniel asked.

“All you ever do is talk about Mr. Miyagi. I get it. He was a great man. He taught you karate, and he taught Sam her first move. The wax on, wax off. I've heard all the stories, and I'm getting sick of it.” Anthony said.

“Oh, you're sick of it? So, you don't want learn how to defend yourself? To learn how to use skills that will help you in life?” Daniel asked.

“Not if it means cleaning up bird shit.” Anthony said.

“Hey! Language! You know, I thought you were mature enough to appreciate all this, but I guess I was wrong. Just go back to your video games.” Daniel walked away.

The Cobra Kai students were in their dojo.

Kenny was punching a dummy.

“So, they stole all your clothes?” Robby asked.

“I can’t take any more of their crap! I’m ready to use my training!” Kenny yelled.

“What do you think you’re going to do?” Robby asked.

“I'll do what you do. Kick their asses.” Kenny said.

“I got kicked out of school and landed in juvie. You’ve got to be smarter than me and your brother.” Robby told Kenny.

“Well, I’ve got to do something.” Kenny said.

Kreese and Terry entered the dojo.

“Class, fall in.” Kreese told the students.

The students formed a line.

“Today, we have a very important lesson, don’t we, Sensei Silver?” Kreese asked.

“Yes, we do. Weakness.” Terry said.

“Your opponent’s weakness must be exploited whenever possible.” Kreese told the students.

“At the tournament, you’ll have to recognize that weakness. And make no mistake. We all have one.” Terry said.

“Sensei Kreese doesn’t.” Tory said.

“Of course he does. We all do. Today, your goal is to find your opponent's weakness and attack it. No points. You hit the mat, you lose. Got it?” Terry asked.

The students nodded.

Terry clapped. “All right, prepare for combat.”

The students dispersed.

“Care to make this interesting?” Kreese asked.

“What do you have in mind?” Terry asked.

“Well, we each choose a fighter. Six pack of brews to the winner.” Kreese responded.

“I like it. May the best sensei win.” Terry held his hand out to Kreese.

Kreese shook Terry’s hand.

Terry looked at Piper. “Elswith.”

Kreese looked at Tory. “Nichols.”

Piper stepped onto the mat.

“All right, you’ve seen her fight before. What’s her weakness?” Kreese asked Tory.

“Her left. She telegraphs her kicks.” Tory said.

“Then you know what to do this time.” Kreese said.

Tory stepped onto the mat.

Piper and Tory bowed to each other.

Piper got in a fighting position.

Tory got in a fighting position.

“Aits!” Kreese yelled.

Piper did a cartwheel and landed close to Tory. She tried to kick Tory, but Tory ducked. She did another cartwheel.

"Are you just going to dance, or are you going to throw something?" Tory asked.

“Why not both?” Piper asked.

Piper tried to kick Tory. She ducked. Piper grabbed her neck. She tried to get Piper’s arms off her neck. Piper kicked her. She kneed Piper in the stomach and swept her legs out from under her. Piper fell.

Kreese chuckled.

Piper panted as she sat up.

Piper flirted with Tory. “We should do that again sometime.”

“Don’t get your hopes up.” Tory walked off the mat.

Piper walked off the mat.

“Good one, Sensei Kreese. Who’s next?” Terry asked.

Kreese soon took the lead in victories among the students. Terry proposed double or nothing. Kreese chose Robby. Terry chose Kenny. When Robby showed concern for Kenny after kicking him, Kreese called for a time-out.

Robby approached Kreese.

Kenny approached Terry.

“I…I don't know what to do. Robby doesn't have a weakness.” Kenny said.

“You're thinking about this the wrong way. Everyone has a weakness.” Terry said.  

“Stop playing with him. Take him down.” Kreese told Robby.

“Yes, Sensei.” Robby said.

When the fight resumed, Robby kicked Kenny.

Kenny groaned.

“Hey, Kenny, I'm...I'm sorry if...” Robby trailed off.

Using Robby's sympathy against him, Kenny set him up for a leg sweep.

Robby groaned as he stood up.

“There. What did we learn? The common belief is you shouldn't care what other people think about you, right? Wrong. What your opponent is thinking is key. In war. In business. In a fight. Don't let your opponent think whatever they want. Make them think what you want them to think. If they think you're weak, that's when you can surprise them with your strength.” Terry said.

“Good job.” Kreese said.

Terry chuckled. “You owe me some brewskis, brother.”

The next day, Anthony walked through Daniel’s interior dojo, observing the pictures of Mr. Miyagi and the newspaper clippings recounting Daniel's victories at the All-Valley Tournament. When Daniel walked in, he found Anthony examining the old scroll Chozen had given to him in Okinawa.

“What are you doing?” Daniel asked.

“Sorry. I was just…Uh…Looking around.” Anthony said.  

“There's no need to apologize. I'm just surprised to see you in here. That's pretty cool, right?” Daniel asked.  

“What is it?” Anthony asked.

“That's a technique I hope none of us will ever need to use. Be careful with this, okay? I thought you didn't care about any of this stuff.” Daniel said.

“It’s just…Everybody has these amazing memories of Mr. Miyagi, and I never really knew the guy or learned any of his cool moves. I've always felt…” Anthony trailed off.

“Out of the loop?” Daniel asked.

“Yeah.” Anthony said.

“Know what I'll never forget? When you were born, we brought you home from the hospital, and Mr. Miyagi wanted to pick you up. I remember he was holding you in his arms, and you know what you did?” Daniel asked.

“What?” Anthony asked.

Daniel chuckled. “Kicked him in the face.”

“I did?” Anthony asked.

“Yep. It was the first time I ever saw anyone land a kick on him. You got him pretty good. Mr. Miyagi just laughed. He said that you were going to be a handful and that someday, you'd also be the one who would be protecting this family.” Daniel said.

“Really?” Anthony asked.

Daniel sighed. “Look, Anthony, I don't want to pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do. I was just hoping that maybe you might want to learn a little bit more about what this all means and to be able to defend yourself against this bully.”

Anthony mumbled something. Daniel didn’t hear him.

“What?” Daniel asked. “What is it?”          

“Um…Nothing. Don't worry about this Cobra Kai kid. I'll handle it.” Anthony said.

“Are you sure?” Daniel asked.

“Yeah. But…Uh, thanks, Dad.” Anthony said.

The next day, Sarah, Miguel, and Sam were at West Valley High.

“It's like a Jekyll and Hyde situation. Sarah and I were used to Sensei being like Mr. Hyde. Now it's like he's a different person.” Miguel said.

“At least you had some training. My dad spent all day with my brother. I had to babysit the Miyagi-Dos.” Sam said.

Tory, Piper, and some other girls walked past Sarah, Miguel, and Sam

“Meanwhile, Tory is gaining ground. Whatever my dad's plan is, it isn't working.” Sam said.

Johnny walked up to Sarah, Miguel, and Sam.

“Sarah. Miguel. There you are. I've been looking all over for you.” Johnny said.

“What are you doing here?” Sarah asked.

Sarah was wearing an unbuttoned black cotton jacket, a white t-shirt, black denim jeans, and black high-top Vans sneakers with white laces. Her naturally straight blonde hair was down. She had on a light amount of black eyeliner, a light amount of black mascara, and soft brown eyeshadow. Her lip balm was a pretty peach colour.

“Field trip. You and me. Let’s go.” Johnny told Sarah and Miguel.

“It's the middle of a school day. Sarah and I have history. We...” Miguel trailed off.

“History's for nerds. Play hooky with me. I'll write a doctor's note. Used to work for me. Come on. What do you say?” Johnny asked.

“Okay.” Miguel said.

“Sure.” Sarah said.

“All right. Great.” Johnny said.

Johnny looked at Sam. “Don't worry. I'll bring him back in one piece.”

Johnny, Sarah, and Miguel were in the Eagle Fang dojo. They were sitting on the wooden boards that were below the ceiling.

Johnny, Sarah, and Miguel were holding slices of watermelon.

Johnny took a bite of his slice of watermelon.

Sarah took a bite of her slice of watermelon.

Miguel didn’t take a bite of his slice of watermelon.

“What? You don't like watermelon?” Johnny asked Miguel.

“No, I like watermelon. I just thought when you had me and Sarah cut class that we'd be training, not having another awkward conversation.” Miguel said.

Johnny sighed. “It doesn't have to be awkward. Look, if I'm acting a little weird, it’s because I don’t know how to be a good male role model. My dad left when I was in kindergarten, then my mom married Sid, and then I met Kreese. I never tried to find my dad. I was scared to find out the truth. I didn't want to be like him, Sid, or Kreese. I took all that bullshit I felt from them and put it on Robby's life. I can never fix that. I don’t want to make that mistake again.”

Tears formed in Johnny and Miguel’s eyes.

“I mean…Yeah, some things are going to change with you and my mom being together, and it feels kind of weird to say it out loud, but there are also a lot of things that I want to stay the same.” Miguel said.

“Yeah? Like what?” Johnny asked.

“Like you being my sensei.” Miguel said.

“Yeah?” Johnny asked.

“Yeah.” Miguel responded.

“All right. You asked for it.” Johnny said.

Johnny made his way to a box of watermelons that was covered by a blanket. He took the blanket off of the box. He grabbed the claw and attached it to a watermelon. He began to pull the watermelon up with the chain.  

Sarah and Miguel approached Johnny.

“What's with the watermelons?” Miguel asked.

“One of the most badass kicks in all of karate is the flying tornado. I wasn't sure if you were ready for it. It's a pain in the ass to master, but you don't mind a little pain, do you?” Johnny asked Sarah and Miguel.

“No, Sensei.” Sarah and Miguel said.

The door opened.

Sam spoke. “Neither do I.”

Johnny, Sarah, and Miguel turned around and saw Sam walking towards them.  

“Nice place you’ve got here, but it could definitely use a woman's touch.” Sam said.

“Does your dad know you're here?” Johnny asked.

“I told him I should be learning both styles, so that's what I'm going to do.” Sam said.

At West Valley Middle School, Anthony contemplated returning Kenny's hoodie, but he was interrupted by Lia, who invited him to a fair. Upon learning that she also invited Kenny, Anthony attempted to make peace with him. He was taunted by Kenny, who called him LaPusso. He was enraged. He, Zack, and Marcus chased Kenny. After Kenny turned off the lights in the library, they split up and tried to find him. Kenny used the darkness to his advantage and picked them off one by one until only Anthony remained. Before Anthony could exact his revenge, a teacher discovered them.

Daniel and Amanda walked into West Valley Middle School.

“I can’t believe this is happening all over again. First Sam, now Anthony?” Amanda asked.

Daniel sighed. “Don't worry. He'll be safe. We'll make sure the kid who did this does not get off lightly.”

Daniel and Amanda saw Anthony and Kenny sitting outside of Principal Fitzpatrick’s office.

“Hey, Anthony. Are you okay?” Daniel asked.

Principal Fitzpatrick walked out of his office and stood next to the door.

“Mr. and Mrs. LaRusso, come on in.” Principal Fitzpatrick told Daniel and Amanda.

Daniel and Amanda walked into Principal Fitzpatrick’s office.

Principal Fitzpatrick sat behind his desk.

Principal Fitzpatrick gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. “You can have a seat here.”

Daniel and Amanda sat down.

“We're not sure what happened...” Daniel trailed off.

“But whatever it is, we expect there to be a severe punishment for this.” Amanda said.

“Oh, there will be. I've already spoken to the parents of the other offending students. We're going to be suspending them.” Principal Fitzpatrick said.

“Okay.” Amanda said.

“And your son.” Principal Fitzpatrick said.  

“What? None of this is Anthony's fault.” Daniel said.

“Well, I'm afraid we have proof.” Principal Fitzpatrick showed Daniel and Amanda videos of Kenny being bullied. “Turns out this isn't the first time. Don't know how they got that milk in the locker. Anthony and the others have been cyberbullying Mr. Payne for some time. I've seen enough evidence to conclude that Anthony has been a real bully this year.”

Daniel turned to the window and looked at Anthony in anger.

Kenny laughed. “Got you.”

In the back of the Cobra Kai dojo, Terry was reading Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes.

Kreese appeared. He was holding a box full of beer bottles.  

Terry spoke. “A man of his word.”

Terry set his book aside and walked up to Kreese.

“Whoa. Are those Ba Muoi Ba?” Terry asked.

“Old 33s. They've changed a bit since the war.” Kreese said.

Kreese handed the box to Terry. “To the victor go the spoils.”

Terry smiled. “Sweet!”

Terry grabbed a bottle and walked away from Kreese. “Hello!”

Kreese perked up. “You know who those remind me of?”

Terry’s back was to Kreese.

Terry turned to Kreese and asked, “Huh?”

“Scovil. The good old boy from Utah.” Kreese said.

“Yeah.” Terry said. “Yeah. Never washed his ass. Could smell him coming a mile away.”

“Remember the day we were on patrol and he took it upon himself to jump rank and take point?” Kreese asked.

“Yeah. Crazy bastard.” Terry said.

Kreese chuckled. “Wound up walking directly into a minefield. Blew himself to kingdom come.”

“That's the kind of story I'd rather forget.” Terry said.

“We don't have the luxury of forgetting, nor should we.” Kreese said. “We should remember what happens to soldiers who don't follow their leader.”

“Johnny, look, is this about...” Terry trailed off.

“Quiet!” Kreese yelled. “I'm not done speaking, Lieutenant. The other day, when we were teaching, you told the students that I have a weakness.”

“I said everyone has a weakness.” Terry said.

“You specifically talked about me, and it made me wonder...” Kreese paused. “What do you think my weakness is?”

Terry sighed. “Look, it was just a lesson for the class.”

“You’re afraid to tell me. Do you remember the cage? We both thought we were going to die. I wasn't afraid. You were. You were like a puddle of piss. If it wasn't for me, you'd still be back in that pit, correct?” Kreese asked.

Tears formed in Terry’s eyes. “Yes.”

“I'm the one who got you out of that cage then, only to find you in another one that you created for yourself. I have always looked out for you, Terry, and I always will, but you need to fall back in line and follow my lead, because there are a lot of land mines out there, and if you don't watch where you step, it’s all going to blow up.” Kreese said.

Kreese grabbed a bottle.

“You don't mind, do you?” Kreese asked.

Terry shook his head. “No, Captain. No.”

Kreese left.

[marichive]

𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐓

A compilation of things my muse and my friend’s muse have said to each other via wire rp. Most of these happened during sibling squabbles so there are a lot of insults. Change pronouns/etc. as necessary.

tw for drinking/alcohol mentions, violence mentions, other non-PG shenanigans.

❝ You started it! ❞

❝ SNITCH!!! ❞

❝ Play stupid games, win stupid prizes! ❞

❝ I may have fucked up. ❞

❝ Look. I’m sorry you got reamed out because of me. ❞

❝ That’s the only apology you’re getting. ❞

❝ Oh my god read the room I’m telling you to be careful. ❞

❝ I deserve to be at the Applebees fight and you know it! ❞

❝ Wanna kick someone’s ass for me? ❞

❝ I had to double check considering the Great Snitch Incident. ❞

❝ One minute you’re cool and the next minute it’s like you’re possessed. ❞

❝ TURN THE CAPSLOCK OFF YOU NUTCASE. ❞

❝ NO! FEEL MY CAPITALIZED WRATH! ❞

❝ Sometimes I yell just because I know it’ll make you yell back. ❞

❝ I’ll kill you! ❞

❝ It was a dare! And I didn’t even really kiss him! ❞

❝ It was just a peck! ❞

❝ Fuck. Please don’t kill me in my sleep. ❞

❝ Now I gotta go disinfect my boyfriend. ❞

❝ A dare is a dare and I’m not a bitch who backs down. ❞

❝ What are you? A fucking chicken? ❞

❝ I don’t think we could stop fighting if we tried. ❞

❝ Oh for sure next time I plan to kiss your boyfriend I’ll send you a text. ❞

❝ Let me rephrase. There should not be a next time. EVER. ❞

❝ I hope you have those condoms mom gave you. ❞

❝ Why are you the way that you are? ❞

❝ I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING !! ❞

❝ If you repeat this to anyone I’ll kill you. ❞

❝ I think I need girl advice for this. ❞

❝ [NAME] WHAT THE HELL !? ❞

❝ I might kill him. ❞

❝ If you murder my boyfriend I will do something worse than kick you in the dick. ❞

❝ He is being a menace! ❞

❝ What the fuck am I supposed to do about it!? ❞

❝ Put a leash and muzzle on him and call it a day! ❞

❝ You’re about to make it my problem, aren’t you? ❞

❝ I’m going on a Tex-Mex date and if you ruin that so help me god I will end you. ❞

❝ I’m pretty sure he was just fucking with you, birdbrain. ❞

❝ I just want to watch it happen. Brings me a special kind of joy. ❞

❝ You know exactly what I fucking meant. ❞

❝ I love annoying the shit out of you. Out of love. ❞

❝ We don’t know how to be stable. ❞

❝ ‘Stable’ sounds like something for horses. ❞

❝ I’m in it for the long haul. Don’t ever doubt that. ❞

❝ I’m pretty sure the universe will fuck me over in any way that it can. ❞

❝ I will continue existing as the rabid creature I am out of pure spite. But like, with better coping mechanisms and shit. ❞

❝ One week without boyfriend-on-brother violence would be really nice. ❞

❝ We’re halfway through the week and no signs of blood. Maybe we’ll make it. ❞

❝ Fuck I’m gonna die. ❞

❝ You’re not gonna die. Hopefully. ❞

❝ I’M SORRY I DON’T WANT YOU TO GET MURDERED! ❞

❝ Oh my god I’m dead. ❞

❝ Are you wasted? ❞

❝ You don’t need to be drunk alone in public. ❞

❝ Say NOTHING about last night. ❞

❝ Don’t taunt me or I’ll tell your nemesis. ❞

❝ You’re an evil little snake you know that? ❞

❝ YOU SOILED IT!!! ❞

❝ I’m gonna fight you. ❞

❝ In retrospect I may have made an impulsive decision. ❞

❝ Promise I won’t kick you in the dick this time. ❞

❝ Die, trash. ❞

❝ I need to make sure you’re safe, dipshit. ❞

❝ Tastes like depression. ❞

❝ Pay me! I want money! ❞

❝ Fuck inflation, am I right? ❞

❝ No no no you take that back! ❞

❝ You are a generous bird. I will give you the good corn for this. ❞

❝ The good corn??? ❞

❝ GIFT CORN! ❞

❝ I don’t make good decisions when I’m upset. ❞

❝ Is this secret mission going to end with me getting arrested? ❞

❝ How stupid do you think I am? ❞

❝ Do you want me to answer that? ❞

❝ I bet you picked [name] as your new girlfriend so you can feel tall for once. ❞

❝ Ok so don’t freak out. ❞

❝ That’s not comforting and now I am freaking out. ❞

❝ Fuck off with your pretentious taste buds. ❞

❝ Pinky promise me. ❞

❝ He deserves to be stabbed a little bit. Just a light stabbing. ❞

❝ He was on crack to put you in charge. ❞

❝ Oh am I supposed to NOT complain about getting thrown into a koi pond? ❞

❝ And you should have expected the dick kick that one time but I guess we’re both idiots. ❞

❝ Eat your snails and shut up. ❞

❝ Record it if it ends in a fistfight. ❞

❝ That implies I won’t be one of the people in the fistfight. ❞

❝ So I’m totally not going to be taken to a secondary location and murdered, right? ❞

❝ I’m a random burglar with good intentions. ❞

❝ Do not get him a bible I swear to god. ❞

❝ White chocolate bible? Can you eat the bible or is that sacrilege? ❞

❝ You’re far past sacrilege. ❞

❝ You gotta get over your feud with Taco Bell. ❞

❝ You ate a box of mini muffins in one sitting. ❞

❝ You’re a dumpster! ❞

❝ Well you’re a dumpster fire and that’s worse! ❞

❝ Bet you have rabies, bitch. ❞

❝ Your brain has E. Coli SHUT UP! ❞

❝ Congrats on being the tumor that your parents decided to keep and raise just because you were vaguely baby-shaped. ❞

❝ I hope you get flipped onto a thousand legos, bitch. ❞

❝ I WILL CHOKE YOU WITH YOUR OWN ARM !! ❞

❝ You fucking furry. ❞

❝ I’m not a furry you reptile bitch tit! ❞

❝ Fuck you, bird nipple. ❞

❝ Do you cawcaw on command? ❞

❝ That’s a sex joke by the way in case your dumbass didn’t catch it the first time. ❞

❝ What’s a metaphor? The choking or the furry behavior? ❞

❝ I will stab you with a fucking spoon. Yes, a spoon. ❞

❝ Good luck with that. I’m going to do something more productive, like frame you for a crime. ❞

❝ You test me every second you’re alive. ❞

❝ Bitch I’m gonna test you when I’m dead, too. My ghost is going to move everything in your room 2 1/3 inches to the left each day and annoy the shit out of you. ❞

❝ You’re exhausting. ❞

❝ Maybe you’re just a tired bitch. Drink some water and get more sleep or something damn. ❞

❝ I am not for the weak. ❞

❝ Get ducked. Fucked but yeah ducked too I guess. ❞

❝ Are you going to attack me with a duck or are YOU the duck? ❞

❝ Jokes on you the ducks are on my side. ❞

❝ What are your feelings on . . . slugs? ❞

❝ I’m just asking. For . . . reasons. ❞

❝ I swear to god if you get murked by a fucking almond I will fistfight you in hell. ❞

❝ You ARE a rash. ❞

❝ At least I don’t have to worry about getting taken out by nuts. ❞

❝ Not your best phrasing. ❞

❝ Oh for fucks sake. Choke on a nut. ❞

❝ You brought the children into this! It’s your fault! ❞

❝ Us? We’re perfect angels. Never done anything wrong ever. ❞

❝ I just embarrassed myself in front of Obi-Wan himself, I think I’m allowed to die now. ❞

❝ An ASS TAT? Disgusting. ❞

❝ Shut up tiddy tat, it’s cute. ❞

❝ I think you should trip and fall on your face. ❞

❝ My face is a national treasure. ❞

❝ Your face is a joke, actually. ❞

❝ No no, my LIFE is the joke. My face is actually pretty nice. ❞

❝ You know what? Fuck you. I have decided I’m going to be taller than you. ❞

❝ You’re one of the few people in my life I could never lose. I couldn’t take it. ❞

[0cto0tter]

Ok,here me out

As we all know,most ppl ship peso with kwazii

And most ppl ship peso with Barnacles...

And most ppl ship kwazii with Barnacles...

What if...Barnacles x kwazii x peso

The leader

The chaotic

And the one who deals with eveyone shit.

Y E S

This one is going to be a bit longer, as well as more chaotic ^^

Tw/Cw for light swearing

•─────✦─────•

Peso, having a panic attack: nononono this is bad this is very bad-

Barnacles trying to comfort him: No worries, everything will be ok! We'll find who did this, and make sure they don't do it again

Kwazii, who is also trying to comfort him: I'LL FIND THAT BASTARD AND MAKE SURE THEY LEARN THEIR LESSON!!! YAAAA-

Barnacles: Kwazii-

Kwazii: ahem, I mean...

Kwazii: I'll track him down and give 'em a stern talking to...

Kwazii, under his breath: then give them what for for making you cry-

─────────────────────

Barnacles: Why do you always let me win wherever we race up stairs? Normally you're always up for a challenge, and prepared to win?

Kwazii: It's... nice to see you smile when you win! Yeah that's it-

Barnacles: aww, that's nice

*later*

Barnacles: He's probably doing it to stare at my ass, isn't he-

Peso: Probably, I through you'd figure it out sooner

─────────────────────

Barnacles to Peso (before he joined the Octonauts): Would you like to stay for dinner?

Kwazii from the other room: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER!?

─────────────────────

Peso: *gasp* You have a crush on Captain!!

Kwazii: What?? I don't have a crush on him! I think their work is amazing and that they are a great person. It's not like I lost sleep thinking about him...

*later that night*

Kwazii, who is still awake at 2am: 0 - 0; uh oh-

─────────────────────

Kwazii: Barnacles has no idea that I found the catnip >:3

Barnacles, concerned: You found what!?

Kawaii: Oh, my bad

Kwazii, leaning over to whisper to Peso: Barnacles has no idea I found the catnip >:3

─────────────────────

Kwazii, trying to impress Barnacles and Peso: I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all of the programmed abilities it had before, but deleting the supplementary preference architecture

Tweak: I-

Tweak: He turned it off and back on again, I DON'T UNDERSTAND HALF OF WHAT YOU JUST SAID-

─────────────────────

Barnacles, who has no idea whats happening and is just playing along: Um, welcome to Applebee's! Would you like... apples... or... bees???

Peso, confused: Wait, BEES??

Kwazii, from the other room: HE HAS SELECTED THE BEES!!!

Barnacles and Peso: Wait what-

Kwazii: *runs into the room with a jar full of aggressive looming bees*

Peso: *stands behind Barnacles*

Barnacles, who is still confused: Kwazii-

─────────────────────

Peso: So, I'm not allowing Kwazii to take the trash out anymore...

Barnacles: Is he ok? Did he managed to get hurt?

Peso: A little, yes, but I've caught him trying to train sea urchins how to fight several time in a row, and got jabbed a few times

Barnacles: What-

Kwazii walking in with his hands bandaged: You'll be thanking me when Urchin Patrol Squadron 5 protects the Octopod-

─────────────────────

Peso: due to person reasons, I will be sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a fair sized metal box

Kwazii: did Barnacles say "I love you" and you said "thanks" again by mistake?

Peso: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL-

─────────────────────

Dashi: I bet you can't hold 15 crayons in your mouth!

Kwazii: I bet I can!! Watch!!

Peso: *spits his drink, checks to make sure he has all him medical equipment ready, makes sure 911 is on speed dial, and texts the group chat letting everyone know what's about to happen*

Barnacles reading the message: Not again-

Shellington, concerned: ... a- again??

─────────────────────

Peso, bandaging Barnacles hand: Why did you think that was a good idea? More over, why didn't you ask for help??

Barnacles: I didn't want to bother any of you while you were busy-

Kwazii, who is visibly vibrating: YOU ALMOST DROWNED AGAIN WHILE STUCK IN A SHIP!!

─────────────────────

Peso: No worries, I have a few scalpels up my sleeve

Barnacles: I think you mean cards...

Peso, pulling several wrapped scalpels from his sleeves: I do not

Kwazii, who is more than proud: ⊙∇⊙

─────────────────────

Peso: If I say I love you, will you say it back?

Barnacles: Yes

Peso: I love you

Barnacles: It back

Barnacles: *instantly realizes what he just said*

Peso: 0 - 0

*a few minutes later*

Kwazii: Why is Peso crying face down on the floor, and why is Dashi laughing on the floor?

Barnacles, shaking: I said the wrong thing-

─────────────────────

Barnacles: Well Peso, whenever I'm about to do something that might be risky or dangerous I simply think, "would Kwazii do that?" and if they would, there is a 50/50 chance I would do that think

Peso: Captain-

Kwazii from across the room: He's not wrong!

─────────────────────

Barnacles making hot coco: Kwazii, Peso, what would you like in you're coco?

Peso: Peppermint, if there is any ^^

Kwazii: Cinnamon. All the cinnamon. Drown the drink in it >:3

Kwazii, not even a minute later: *coughing his lungs out because of the amount of cinnamon in his drink*

Barnacles: ...

Peso: ...

Barnacles: Well we did warn him-

Peso: Kwazii are you ok-

─────────────────────

Tweak, inspecting and repairing the Gup A: So, how did the chair break off again...?

Barnacles: Um, well...

*flashback to Kwazii suddenly jumping on him, causing them to fall back and accidently break the chair*

Barnacles: The Gup crashed and the seat came loose-

─────────────────────

Kwazii: Peso just ran up to me and handed me this small rock, and then ran away...

Barnacles: Give him a rock in return, trust me

*a few hours later*

Kwazii: *runs into the med bay with a nice looking rock*

Kwazii: HEREYOUGOHAVEANICEDAYPESO!!

*runs out again*

Peso, who is flustered beyond words: *verbally keyboard smashes*

─────────────────────

Barnacles: *is asleep*

Peso: *is also asleep, but in a different room*

Kwazii, who is still awake: idea...

*goes to grab Peso and bring him to where Barnacles is*

Kwazii: Sleep pile >:)

*the next morning*

Barnacles and Peso: *visible confusion but acceptance*

Kwazii: >:3

•─────✦─────•

You can tell I stated to run out of ideas half way through ^^;

Requests/Asks are still open :)

[supercantaloupe]

tumblr is having a Moment with my ability to send asks so if you receive this like a million times i am so sorry. req! anything with the bad kids fucking around while cooking/baking with each other?

"Okay, it really does not take six people to bake a cake," Adaine huffs, shoving Fabian off the counter and plopping a large bag of powdered sugar down in his place.

Fabian laughs. "That's why we're not helping," he says, throwing his arms out wide as if to gesture to everyone else in the room.

"Some of us are," Riz says pointedly, perched on a stool on the other side of the counter, manning the hand mixer. He has white powder smudged all over his face and doesn't seem to care that it's there, let alone if it's flour or sugar or dragon spice or anything else.

"Really, the rest of you guys can just chill in the other room," Gorgug says, looking up from the delicate flowers he's crafting out of icing and gum paste. "I think me, Riz, and Adaine can take it from here."

"Hey, you trying to kick us out?" Fabian asks, mocking offense.

"Kick us out of our own kitchen!" Fig joins in, throwing her arm around his shoulder and feigning outrage along with them.

"Fabian doesn't live here," Adaine points out, squinting at them. "And you never help in the kitchen anyway, Fig."

"I would if you'd let me!"

"Last time you were in charge of dinner everything tasted like charcoal," Kristen chimes in, sitting on the counter beside the sink and licking cake batter off a spatula. "'Cause you thought it'd cook faster if you just turned the heat up all the way."

"Well, it did cook faster!" Fig protests, laughing. Fabian removes her arm from his shoulder and backs up to the counter again.

"Like you're one to talk, Applebees," he scoffs. "As if you're any better in the kitchen?"

"Hey, I can make cornbread," she sticks her tongue out at him. It's bright red from all the food dyed-icing she's been sampling. "That's better than you can do, mister I-Had-All-My-Meals-Brought-To-Me-By-A-Maid-My-Whole-Life."

"Guys," Riz says, looking up from the mixing bowl to eye them cautiously.

Apparently ignoring him, Fabian makes a face and puffs out his chest like he does when he's about to defend his ego. "I'll have you know I'm the best cook in Seacaster Manor!"

"Besides Cathilda," Fig snorts.

"Prove it!" Kristen taunts.

"Fabian!" Adaine shouts as he yanks the powdered sugar bag from her just as she opens it, dips his hand in, and flings a handful of white dust directly at Fig and Kristen. A cloud of sugary snow kicks up as everyone stops what they're doing and gasps.

Kristen and Fig blink, now covered hopelessly in powdered sugar, along with the counters, floor, and cabinets around them. Fabian, too, is not left unscathed, his entire arm dusted white too, along with his shirt front and pants. "...Um," he says sheepishly.

Adaine yanks the bag back from him and gives him a scowl. "You're cleaning that up before Sandra Lynn gets back."

[machinegunbun]

Benanigans

Word count:1.4k

tw?: smut including semi public sex acts

A/N:this was originally posted in response to an ask but something happened and it got deleted so im reposting it here for now. Enjoy!

The sound of laughter faded back into earshot as you made your way from the kitchen to the living room, taking your seat at the bar behind the couch. Amy and Casey were sitting on the couch in front of you with Pete on the chair directly across from them. They were all enveloped in a conversation that jumped from topic to topic. You weren’t entirely interested, only half listening as you allowed yourself to zone out and enjoy your snack.

In hindsight it probably would’ve been best to stay checked in, considering when you zone out your mind tends to wander to things a little less than appropriate. Thoughts of messy kisses and slow touches filled your mind and you quickly realized you’d been staring at Pete. It was a lot easier, after all, to imagine him doing those things to you when he’s sat right in front of you. He notices you staring, his eyes flicking from his sister up to you. A smirk spreads across your lips as an idea pops into mind.

You pull the skin of your banana down a bit more, sliding the tip in your mouth, making sure to look him right in the eye. There’s a small smirk on his face as he shakes his head in disapproval, looking back at his sister in an attempt to not give you the attention you so desperately wanted. But he couldn’t help but look back up every few minutes, watching as you took more and more of the banana into your mouth. At first he had figured it was a joke, just a harmless joke about something vaguely resembling a dick (his favorite kind of joke), but it had become clear that you were genuinely attempting to seduce him right now.

You maintained the intense eye contact, sliding the banana in and out of your mouth once before taking a bite and hiding the smile that was fighting to get out.

It was kind of amusing, but also kind of hot. Okay, maybe not the banana licking, but rather doing something dirty that you know you shouldn’t quite literally right behind his mother and sister’s back. Or maybe it was the insinuation behind the banana licking that caused the reaction happening in his pants. He couldn’t tell, all Pete knew was that he was wearing sweatpants. Loose sweatpants, at that, that would do him no favors in hiding the ever growing arousal in his pants. He casually grabs the throw pillow that had been supporting his back and shifted it into his lap, trying to continue the conversation without raising any suspicion. 

The conversation eventually ended when Amy and Casey stood up and walked to the kitchen, bringing their cups and the question of what dinner would be with them. You discarded your banana peel in the trash before taking a seat next to Pete.

You sat in silence for a moment, your head resting on his shoulder, when you placed your hand on his upper leg. He lets a breath out through his nose, knowing exactly where you’re going with this. Pete was not amused when you began rubbing slowly, determined to replace his last boner, which was now long gone, with a new one.

“You’re not jerking my dick in front of my mom and sister.” Pete says, grabbing your wrist to halt your actions

“I’m not the perv who got hard when I was trying to eat my banana.”

“Oh, please. You weren’t eating it, you were blowing it. I think I saw some cream slip out the top somewhere between you deep throating it and taking your first bite.”

“The banana I was eating or the one in your pants?” You ask, continuing to rub your hand over his hardening dick

“Seriously, they’re right in the other room we can’t.”

“I’ll stop if you fuck my hand,” You offer up, you see him hesitate as he tries to decipher whether or not you’re serious “they wont hear anything as long as you’re quiet. Plus, which would you rather, me dealing with it now and them never knowing or them walking in here and seeing you with a boner next to your girlfriend in the family room.”

“I’d rather them not walk in on my girlfriend giving me a handjob.”

“If they do you can just blame it on me,” You say, reaching into his sweats and wrapping your hand around him “after all, I am what caused it.”

He let out a breath, glancing behind him into the kitchen to make sure no suspicion had been raised before he slowly began lifting his hips into your hand. He closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to fully acknowledge the situation at hand. The situation being that he was letting you jerk him off in the family room of his shared house while his sister and mother were barely a room away.

“Uh, kinda dry.” he says, opening his eyes momentarily to look at you. You glance at his lips for a second, thinking about what you should do to solve the problem. Decisions, decisions, should you spit on your own hand or make him do it? Or should you make him spit in your mouth and then lick your hand? All good options, but you thought you’d finally find what you’d settle for.

You lean in so to Amy and Casey it would look as if you were getting a kiss, but opened your mouth as Pete grabbed your chin with his thumb and forefinger and spat in your mouth. You had to stop a sick smile from crossing your face as you bent down and began sucking him off with a mixture of his spit and yours. The whole situation was seriously heating up and anyone could tell that you were both getting impatient. You could still taste his cock in your mouth as you came back up, glancing into the kitchen.

“You’re fucking sick.” He whispers

“Achoo.” you say, clearly pleased with yourself.

You realized that to get the length of his dick through your hand he had to buck his hips up off the couch, so you decided to help him by stroking along with his thrusts. You really hoped there was nothing on your face that would give away what was happening, although you could feel the warmth on your cheeks which meant you were definitely blushing. It’s okay, you told yourself, blushing can mean a lot of things. Just as long as they stay over there everything will be fine.

Your head flicked over to the kitchen as you overheard them talking about what to have.

“We could just get out?” Amy offers up

“Yeah, if everyone else wants to.” Casey responds

“I’m okay with it, what do you guys think?” Amy inquires from her place in the kitchen.

“Yeah, that sounds good to me. Maybe applebees?” you agree, speeding up your actions and focusing on his tip, A small moan slipping past his lips as you do. Pete’s mouth hung open, his breathing heavy and his hips bucking forward into your hand. You couldn’t believe the sight in front of you, it was seriously something straight out of a porno and it was so, so hot. 

“Hm? You want something else, baby?” You ask, tone as innocent as ever “What would you like?” Pete turns his head to glare at you, trying his best to muster up a response.

“No, that's fine.” He finally manages to get out, his voice clearly straining.

“You feel alright,hun?” Amy asks, concern lacing her voice. For a moment you were worried she would walk over to check on him, but Pete in a moment of genius quickly wrote it off as a stomach ache. Good thing, too, because you could tell Pete was getting close. His hand gripped at the couch and his jaw clenched as he struggled to keep it together. You felt his dick twitch in your hand as it occured to you that you had nowhere for him to cum. You tried to think quickly about what to do. I mean you couldn’t very well just sit on it, but his sister and mom were looking at you now and would notice if your head dipped down so you couldn’t swallow it either. Try as you might, it was a time sensitive option and the clock was running out, so you pulled his underwear up over his dick and continued stroking him. He finally exploded, his orgasm soaking into his underwear,  Pete struggling to disguise his moan as him clearing his throat.

“Actually guys, maybe we shouldn’t go out. I think Pete might be coming down with something.” You say

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High: The Seven Ep 5

Through a Glass, Darkly

Welcome back to the Temple of the Earth Defiant where the girls and their magical horses (and one pony!) have found refuge from the strange, twisted, fae creatures that have been chasing them. The statue of Asha Hammerheart that Ost animated last episode is still alive and wrecking house on the remaining harpies and beasts that are foolish enough to keep fighting and the rest soon get the hint and flee. 

Ost does some healing (boosted by the ambient Hallow effect of the temple which gives everyone a short rest) and then, seeing the damage to the temple caused by erosion, starts using Mending to fix things up. Her friends help out too with Sam and Yelle being most effective--Sam by repairing water damage and Yelle by creating tree cover and other druid-y tricks. But of course, we can’t overlook Katja’s crucial addition of carving “A Horse is a Home” into one of the walls of this sacred temple. 

Anyway, the girls are nesting super hard, the horses are having their scrapbooking reviewing club (an insane thing that was established last episode) and then Sam asks a question. Did y’all mention something about a photo of me going viral? Everyone’s like yeah, but don’t worry, you looked super hot. That’s not the part Sam was worried about. What she’s worried about and what all the girls except Zelda don’t really seem to know is that Sam doesn’t really have a social media presence. So like, 180k and climbing views (as decided by a dice roll) isn’t really what she wants. She scrolls through the comments really quick and sees that they’re not awful but one person is like, “Hey that girl looks a lot like that character from that old show”. Which Sam doesn’t love. She says that she’s fine but also that, even without an Insight check, she’s obviously not. 

Sam kind of looks to Zelda to bail her out and Zelda is like, “Hey, I’m gonna delete this video.” The other girls follow suit, even though they don’t quite know what’s happening. When they have to split up to investigate, Sam has Zelda kind of bail her out again and they split up to go check a nest outside--Zelda waving off Danielle when she wants to go with. Ant and Yelle decide to check out a cache of some treasure they saw earlier and Ost and Katja stay with the horses to keep fixing the temple up. Penny initially goes with Ant and Yelle but rushes back to be with Ost and Kat when Ost discovers a hidden lock while she’s fixing a wall.

So, the girls are split up, let’s run all these scenes.

Antiope and Yelle

Ant and Yelle go see the pile of treasure (near the statue of dwarven paladin Yvonna) which they learn is like a “take a penny leave a penny” situation for weapons and items. They were left by adventures who were similarly chased here and you can take what you need as long as you leave something to help others. Like, “Oh no I only have an ice sword and I need flaming arrows.” It doesn’t have to be equivalent exchange, you just need to leave something useful.

In this space, Yelle feels a weird melancholy and like they’re within the watch of something vast and powerful. She tries to check for TK’s presence but rolls low. Antiope leaves her Kalvaxus killing shortsword and takes some really nice, white feather fledged arrows with mirror tips and an ax Kat wants as a present for her dad. Danielle takes a bandolier of potions (3 healing and 2 mystery I believe) and leaves a bunch of mushrooms. Some of them are psychedelic and Ant takes one because this is probably a good time to be high, right?

It’s not messing with her competence obviously though because she rolls a 25 on Primeval Awareness and gets a weird sense, like something is closing in on this place. And like something very powerful is bleeding, which combined with the chaos of the mountains might explain the weird harpies and the cat/dogs. But she’s high so she explains this is a very spacey, stoner way. Probably a good thing she’s with Yelle.

Sam and Zelda

Sam can fly and Zelda can basically walk vertically with her goat legs so they check out the nest. Well, ostensibly that’s what they’re doing. Really they’re just having a heart to heart. Sam thanks Zelda for saving her ass and apologizes profusely for being so short with her. Zelda gives her a huge mid-air hug and says it’s not a big deal because she knows Sam is just lashing out because she’s hurting but Sam says it’s not a good enough excuse and she’s truly sorry. It’s been her coping mechanism for so long but she doesn’t want to be that way. She tells Zelda that the Everpetals are divorcing and that she’s living alone and Zelda says that any one of the girls would be happy to have her stay with them. Sam further explains that this is a big part of the reason she’s been so broken up about the possibility of their group splitting up and Zelda immediately takes out her crystal and texts her “I’m in” in the thread, breaking Sam again. 

Since they’re in heart to heart mode, Sam tells her that she talked to her bio-mom and an agent and she’s not sure what to do. Zelda says that she’s gonna be spectacular no matter what she does and she doesn’t have to do any of them but it’s cool doors are opening for her but also Antiope and Penny are gonna be PISSED that she’s out here making side plans after she gave them so much shit for theirs. Lol, well it’s a nice moment in the meantime and we cut to…

Penny, Ost, and Katja 

While Penny is lockpicking (and also trying to teach one of the horses to lockpick because sure) Katja and Ost go talk to the statue of Asha Hammerheart. It seems to be animated with at least some level of her true consciousness from beyond the grave and that she can kind of woge into her statue when she wants, which is cool. She’s been there for like 250 years so that’s a lot of history to see. 

Ost is maybe the most polite we’ve ever seen her talking to Asha (at least to begin with lol) and they ask her about TK. Asha says she saw TK show up 12 years ago but she never left, at least not through the front door. And then about 2 years ago (right around when they were in the crystals) that’s when the harpy queen showed up. At first they were normal and then they started mutating. Also, recently, Korra (one of the other statues/heroes) saw a woman in the mountains--not TK. 

Ost then takes a page from the book of one St. Kristen Applebees and asks, “Hey. What’s the deal with our god? He never talks to us, does he just suck?” Asha--who has never talked to him even though she’s a martyred hero and literally in dwarf heaven makes some excuses for the guy but Katja scoffs at them. “If people wanna take care of you, they do.” Ost then straight up asks if Logran Soulforger is even real which sets Asha off but Ost isn’t mad AT her, she’s mad FOR her. You go and do all this cool shit to the point where you have this cool ass statue, you fully DIE for him and he doesn’t even say hi? With a 21 Persuasion check, Asha admits that yeah, she would have liked some recognition. She decides she’s gonna go do some talking to some people and leaves after getting Ost’s number but before they can ask more about the woman Korra saw (who they think is Charity). 

OK, that’s all the small group stuff! Everyone comes back as Penny finishes up with the lock and they go down into this room that’s full of polished, precious stones. This is probably where people who were upkeeping the temple stayed. While everyone else is going down, Sam feels some powerful magical pull--much like her episode 1 Lightning Lure--calling her from the top of the stairs so she goes back up. We’ll get back to her in a bit. 

Penny rolls a high check to clock what’s going on down here. First off, she finds flintlock bullets and airship uniform scraps which makes it seem like there was a battle here involving some airship guys from the Baronies. Which is not just the place of origin of Riz’s imaginary Romance Partner. It’s a cluster of nations known for high rates of monarchical turnover and renaissance style intrigue. I’m picturing just a nation of [REDACTED]s from Crown of Candy. 

With all of this stuff, Penny finds an emblem of a billionaire airship mogul named Lord Talcidimir Tallbreeze who is a friend of her dad’s. Yelle is immediately like FUCK billionaires which isn’t plot relevant but it’s nice to know she’s always on brand. 

Oh also, Penny just casually finds the Legendarium so that’s neat. 

To be safe, Ost casts Protection from Energy on Ant (who is the one who knows how to use it) and brings out her Spirit Guardian (who is a combo of her mom, nona, and Asha, with her dad’s rings). Ant checks it out and sees that there are currently no A, B, or C quests in all of Spyre. While Penny cross references the bylaws to see if there’s a way to get around this, Yelle does some druid BS that I still do not understand to use the crystals in the cave to jailbreak this super powerful magical Artifact so they can just have copies on their crystals. While that’s happening, let’s check on Sam. 

Sam goes back up the staircase where she sees Ending who doesn’t look menacing at all, just extremely sad. She’s looking out the mouth of the cave and, when she turns, Sam can see she’s crying blood. 

“What’s wrong?” asks Sam, the acid-tongued but good-hearted. “Can I help you?”

With a 25 Persuasion check to get her to talk, Ending apologizes for scaring her and her friends before. She didn’t mean to. She sometimes forgets that her very nature can be frightening and dangerous to others. She says that when she escaped, she tried to rejoin her sisters but found their mirrors shattered and them gone. Sam thought they escaped but that doesn’t make sense to Ending. If they had, why wouldn’t they have freed her as well?

Sam asks who her sisters were and we finally get true names for Ending and her sisters:

Chrona, Terra, Pyrria, Nira, Zefira, Anima, and herself, Talura (which is what I’ll be calling her now that we know). Talura is the baby, the youngest. Sam realizes she’s talking about the Eidolons and Talura seems surprised and a bit pleased that Sam recognizes them. 

Sam asks if she can hug her and Talura hugs her tightly in a very cold embrace that doesn’t hurt. Downstairs, she hears her friends (Penny specifically) freaking about about the lack of quests but she doesn’t break the hug. 

“My own sisters are struggling right now but I’m gonna stay with you because you don’t know where yours are. But maybe we can find them.”

Talura clocks that the way that Sam is being is her true nature, not the bitchiness she often uses as a shield. Then she starts to talk about her history. That she and her sisters were sealed away when the gods were done with them (Sam can relate to being used and set aside) and the only way out was death. Talura has been crying and looking for her sisters to no avail. Her tears of blood leaking seems to be what caused the monsters to mutate which is in line with what Yelle and Ant were sensing. 

Talura doesn’t think anything could have destroyed her sisters so she’s very confused. Sam offers Talura her Mirror of the Past because it almost knocked out Sam to get god-tier information but Talura presumably won’t have that problem. Talura offers her a boon in exchange for this great kindness but Sam says she doesn’t need any quid pro quo. “This is just because you’re hurting.”

Talura is supremely touched and still wants to do something for her new...friend? Sam accepts the title and says that what she needs is some help on her GED quest. Once she explains what she means, Talura again recognizes Aguefort and is like, Oh, you need a quest? I can totally help with that! As we learned earlier, these guys are kinda genie connected so it’s not super surprising when Talura very happily goes full your wish is my command.

Downstairs, a Class A quest suddenly appears in Spyre on the screen. 

Back upstairs, Talura says that it’s been too long since she got to grant a wish and seems really happy about it. Sam gives her the mirror so she can check what happened to her sisters but when she does, she totally flips out and gets super angry--not at Sam, just at whatever she’s looking at. She can hardly believe it. Sam tries to figure out what’s wrong but she just gets super big and then disappears into a puff of smoke, leaving Sam's mirror on the ground, covered in frost. 

Downstairs, the Class A quest expands across the entire globe and then the Legendarium cracks. Ost’s spirit guardian disappears because of alarm bells ringing in the afterlife. And the girls learn that a Class A quest is a quest that affects the whole MULTIVERSE. Yikes!

So anyway, they girls go upstairs to check on Sam (on a bear that Penny makes because sure) and they see that something clearly just happened with Sam. Yelle asks if she’s good and Sam is like yeahhhh I don’t think ANYONE is good right now. Sam seems like she’s about to cry and Antiope instantly forgets all the petty bullshit going on between them and rushes to make sure she’s not hurt. 

Sam gives the girls a rundown of what happened and Yelle concretely puts together what I said earlier about Talura’s tears messing with nature. 

Sam wants to check her mirror to see what Talura saw and Brennan says she can do it the safe way with risk of failure of the surefire way with risk of personal harm. She, of course, picks door 2 and rolls a 13 on her con save which means she rises into the air like Storm from X-Men, eyes wide, and then instantly passes out and goes into shock. Antiope is there to catch her as she does. 

Also, she looks SUPER hot while falling on a 31. Honestly, it’s a shame she doesn’t allow herself a social media presence. 

Anyway, we’ll get to what she sees in a bit. Yelle and Ant make sure she’s OK (she is, but the has to be knocked out for this or she won’t be able to handle it). 

Penny tells them what she knows about each Eidolon from her earlier research which is what element each goes with:

Chrona: Time (Related to astral and elemental planes) 

Terra: Earth

Pyrria: Fire

Nira: Water

Zefira: Air

Anima: Life

Talura: Death 

They also talk about TK never leaving via the front door and all this airship stuff being around. Maybe she left out the top of the mountain on an airship? Katja has the hookup with this Tal guy (she’s met him when she was younger) so they decide they need to check it out once Sam is good. 

The girls fix the Legendarium and Ost, when she goes to pray for her spells for the night, doesn’t pray to her usual god. She prays to Asha. And not only does she get her spells, she also gets a new one--Commune. 

And now let’s get to what Sam is seeing in her Vision Coma. 

She was told by Talura that the only way out of the mirrors given to them by the gods was death. And what Talura saw that drove her to do whatever multiverse threatening thing that she did was every one of her sisters walking out of their mirrors and choosing death. I will specifically highlight that the oldest sister leaves almost immediately with a small, “Oh,” of realization and Anima, the closest sister to her seems terrified before coming to a joyful realization and leaving.

And that’s the end of the episode! Join us next week when apparently there is talk of a masquerade ball?????? Brennan, you shouldn’t have!   

Superlatives 

Sam: Most Likely to Accidently Snag a Brand Deal

Did you guys ever read the Greek myth of Cupid and Psyche? Where Psyche was born so hot that it was basically a curse and she was miserable because she was so hot that Aphrodite hated her? That’s Sam. She is incapable of almost dying in a non-aesthetic way. It’s like a Pantene commercial every time. This is my favorite running gag.

Random Thoughts

Man, I have so many feelings about Sam. She’s such a BITCH in so many ways but it’s so obvious that she has a good heart. Every time she has an opportunity to be nice with no gain--helping Lola find her dog, magically turning the pages for the horses during book club, fully refusing a boon from Talura--she does. And I’m glad she gave Zelda such a sincere apology and didn’t let the extenuating circumstances absolve her because she said some pretty uncalled for things. But at her core she’s so kind and I want only good things for her. 

Also those of you who know me from my FH recaps know I’m a messy bitch for sister stuff so Talura and Sam both referring to the other maidens as her sister had me dead. You can tell when something in this show is f’ing me up when I just start directly quoting instead of paraphrasing. 

Katja being richer than Helio but having no idea what any of the brands Ost is mentioning are is peak comedy.  

As is Ant’s response to the take and penny leave a penny translation from Ost, “No, Penny didn’t come with us.”

Ost: I get service in the afterlife.

You could really tell which of the players watched Sophomore Year because the Baronies came up and all of them went into fight or flight immediately. 

Very Elsa vibes from Sam during the top of the scene with Talura. (Sam is, of course, a better sister but we simply do not have time to get into my feelings on Frozen 2 right now).

I was wondering why this season was called just “The Seven” when it dropped initially. Like, was it snappier? Did they not want to use the word “maiden”? But they still call themselves the Seven Maidens in the show so it’s probably not that. Now I’m wondering if it’s just to parallel the 7 of them w/ the 7 Eidolons. 

So it seems clear based on the reactions of the first and sixth sisters that they didn’t just “go gently into that good night” as Ant would say and ditch Talura. It seems like they figured something out. Also Brennan isn’t really a “and then they all died, the end” kind of DM, you know? Credit to my friend @camwritery for getting here before I did but the gods said the only way out was death and she is death so you know? Those def seem like puzzle pieces that go together. 

The only crit rolled this episode is a 1 by Penny which she gets to reroll as a halfling. 

[andy-clutterbuck]

2x10 | 18 Miles Out

[aprilsrant]

Lay all your love on me | Oliver Wood x Slytherin!Fem!Reader.

SUMMARY: (Y/N)’s been crushing on the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain for over three years. Now, in their seventh and last year of Hogwarts, her friends are determined to get them together.

WORD COUNT: 2,833.

WARNINGS: underage drinking. (If there are more and I didn’t put them, let me know).

NEXT PARTS:

Honey Honey! (part two)

When I kissed the teacher (part three).

A/N: so, this came out because of a random idea and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. For some reason, I like to imagine wizards dancing to ABBA, of course it’s the muggleborns and maybe halfbloods that know about them. This was written while I listened to Lay all your love on me, slowed down, on repeat. I algo gave the reader’s friends name because it was easier, and I may or mat not based their personality on my own close friends…

English is not my first language so if there are any mistakes, I’m sorry! Reblog if you can, and if you have any suggestions or requests just DM!

Masterlist.

tags: @peeves-a-legend​ (thank you for everything).

The Ravenclaw vs Hufflepuff Quidditch match had ended with a win for the eagle’s house, although the other team did not make it easy for them. The Hufflepuffs were known for their patience and hard working nature, giving up easily was not one of their traits and that’s exactly what everyone had seen on the match this afternoon. They knew their opponent’s Seeker, Cho Chang was getting better with each game  she played, so the Captain of the Hufflepuff Team decided their best chance was, if he wasn’t fast enough to catch the snitch that is, to lash out against the poor Keeper. 

And so they did. 

The Chasers, Preece, Macavoy and Applebee, were unstoppable. On the occasion the Quaffle landed in their hands, which had been like seventy percent of the time, they would use many different strategies to confuse the other players, including the Keeper, and score a goal.

Even after their brilliant performance, Ravenclaw still won by twenty points ahead when Cho Chang caught the snitch. A small distraction from the Hufflepuff Seeker and Captain had cost them the victory, but that didn’t discourage the badgers, hell, (Y/N) thought nothing could after how well they had played. She had never felt so much respect for the usually overlooked House. 

That was pretty much the reason why the Ravenclaws were so eager to celebrate their win and had invited the whole school, or at least everyone up to the age of fifteen, to their Common Room. Many people believed they weren’t capable of throwing a good party since they were supposed to be smart and have their head on a book every minute, but (Y/N) never doubted them. One of her best friends was a Ravenclaw and that girl sure knew how to have fun, school and good grades being the last thing on her mind whenever she got sight of the Firewhisky. 

If you had asked for (Y/N)’s opinion, she would tell you Ravenclaws were the seconds best at Hogwarts on the matter of hosting parties, Slytherins right up to them. Albeit that may have been biased, she herself was a Slytherin and, thinking about it, she never went to any Gryffindor parties because, well, no one except her other friend wanted a Slytherin there. Many of them thought they were some kind of saints just because they were brave and didn’t realise they were, instead, a bunch of reckless and prejudiced twats. The remaining house, Hufflepuff, took parties to a whole other level and sometimes it became all a little too much. She wasn’t much of a party person but she still enjoyed them from time to time, but they went insane any time alcohol was in the room and started to come up with crazy ideas that would, with no doubt, get them expelled. 

After waiting ten minutes for a member of the house to step out and answer the riddle for her, which (Y/N) knew you didn’t need to be part of the house to reply but even as a Slytherin and having, supposedly, a cunning and intelligent mind she sucked at those kind of questions; she, and twenty others,  finally entered the Ravenclaw Common Room, which was completely renovated since the last time she had visited it.

The circular and wide room was filled with students from all the four houses making it seem smaller than it actually was. The moon shone, filtering through the arched windows, barely illuminated but some flickering and colour changing lights on the ceiling made it work. The furniture was against the wall on the left side so people could dance freely in the middle, while the tables on the right bursted with food and bottles of alcohol. A muggle radio had been placed on one of the large table’s corner and to (Y/N)’s delight, it wasn’t playing any songs by the Weird Sisters. She loathed that band since last year when some students, presumably Gryffindors, enchanted the speakers on the hallways to repeatedly play one of the group’s songs. 

The girl started to move towards the left side of the room, avoiding the crowd growing larger and larger. Trying to catch some familiar faces, she stood on her tiptoes and observed the room, but the lack of light and her problem with seeing things from afar, made her search harder. A couple of minutes had passed when she recognized the trio she was friends with. They were waving and screaming her name, trying to catch her attention, right beside the door that led to the dormitories.  

(Y/N) grinned at them while walking in their direction. Once she settled on Isla’s side, her best friend since childhood, some of her nerves were washed away a little. It was easier for her to be in a place packed with people if she had her close friends as company. Dorian, the last one to join the group in their fifth year, offered her a black cup with, judging by the smell, Quintin Black, her favourite. The corners of her mouth quirking up as a way of saying thanks without having to shout at him to make herself be heard through the loud music.

The Multicolour Quartet — name they all despised but stood with it because it was one of Dorian’s drunk comments when he realised how they were all from different houses; (Y/N) was the Slytherin, he was the Gryffindor, and the other two, Isla and Ethan, were both Ravenclaws — easily fell in a conversation about Isla’s brilliant performance as Chaser for her House’s Team, the other three complimenting her whenever she started to list all the errors that almost allowed the Hufflepuffs to win.

Spacing out of her friend’s chat, (Y/N)’s eyes peer round the room looking, nearly in a desperate way, for someone in particular. Answering the comments the other three made with a simple nod of her head or a yes to seem like she was paying attention, her eyes fixated in a figure directly across from them, supporting it’s body’s weight on a wall. He was surrounded by some of his classmates and friends from the same house, but she could still see, albeit with great trouble, his short brown hair and his right hand holding a black cup, equal to the one she had. 

She failed to realise that her friends had noticed where her attention travelled to. Sharing knowing glances and smirks they knew it was time for (Y/N) to talk to the boy she’d been crushing on for three years now. Isla and Ethan left saying some people were starting to cause trouble, not that (Y/N) had actually listened to them, too lost in attempting to catch another glimpse of the boy. That ended on Dorian, the most chaotic of the four, finding the way to make them, at least, share two or three words.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her left arm dragging her along the room and pushing people on the way. That belonged to Dorian and it didn’t take long for her to understand what he was doing, his mischievous smile betraying him. Her eyes widened and she shook her head while planting her feet on the floor, putting all her strength on them so he wouldn’t move her. She didn’t succeed. Obviously because of his friend’s stronger hands. 

A chant of pleas and several no exited from her mouth, but it was useless. If something got inside Dorian’s head, then nothing could stop him from doing it. A trait they both shared and the cause of a few of their arguments, neither of them knew when to back the hell down. Not even the promise of (Y/N) doing his Arithmancy homework for two weeks made him stop on his tracks. Dorian had really compromised to the cause because she knew how much he detested that subject, only taking it to please his father. 

Before she could raise the offer to a month, they were already in front of him and the group he was chatting with. 

Oliver Wood smiled at the two friends, recognizing only one of them but still being kind and inviting towards her, whose heart was about to jump out of her chest from how fast it was beating. 

“Hey, Wood, how’re you doing?,” Dorian greeted him first and then nodded at the others as if he was saying hi, “preparing for the Quidditch match next week?”

(Y/N) stood awkwardly by Dorian’s side, looking and smiling shyly at people she had never interacted with. She was going to cut this boy’s head of the minute everyone left.

“Yeah, the Hufflepuffs played like hell today.” She heard Oliver say. His words tumbling with each other. Was he already starting to get drunk? “I think I’ll need to book more practices if we want to win next week”.

Luckily, or not, Dorian noticed he hadn’t introduced his friend to the group yet. And even if she didn’t like to just stand there like a rigid stick, she hated the new attention.

“This is (Y/N) (Y/L/N), by the way,” he announced while placing his right hand on the upper side of her back and pushing her body to the front. And the shy smile made an appearance on her face once more. 

She whispered a small hello, looking at everyone but Oliver, and instantly felt the need to jump off the Astronomy Tower, not long after making Dorian the next designated Gryffindor Ghost. 

“What house are you in? I’ve never seen you before,” questioned one of the boys next to Oliver with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and a lost look on his eyes, as if he was trying to place her and remember the colours of the tie she used daily.

“She’s not a Gryffindor, maybe that’s why you haven’t seen her much,” Dorian answered before she had the chance to, “she’s actually a Slytherin.” A new expression on his face now, intimidating the others to see if they dared to express some kind of negative or stupid comment to his friend about the house she belonged to. No one said anything. She saw Dorian smiling proudly from the corner of her eye, but in that moment (Y/N) had the weird sensation she was some kind of prey to starving lions.

The group began to talk to each again, like nothing happened, all except Oliver, who was looking at her with his eyebrows raised and an intriguing sparkle in his dark brown eyes.

Dorian spoked once more.

Does he ever shut up?

“Remember the other day you said you were falling behind in Potions and Transfiguration?” Oliver nodded at him, signalising her friend to keep talking. “Well, I have the perfect person to help you with that. (Y/N) tutors me from time to time in those subjects too.”

Forget the Astronomy Tower, she desperately needed some kind of magical earthquake that could crack the floor beneath her feet and swallow her whole.

It’s not like Dorian was lying, she had helped him, and still did sometimes, to study for an important test, not only in Potions and Transfiguration, but also in the rest of the subjects they shared. Merlin knew that boy was a disaster when talking about paying attention to classes. But that didn’t mean she was good enough to tutor Oliver freaking Wood. (Y/N) could treat Dorian how she wanted if he wasn’t trying to, at least, know what she was talking about, they were friends and most of their time together was spent hitting each other, but how was she supposed to act around the precious Gryffindor Quidditch Captain?

“Great!,” Oliver exclaimed quickly. A sudden blush crept all the way from below his turtle neck to his cheeks, but she couldn’t identify if it happened because of the alcohol or embarrassment from sounding “too enthusiastic”. He cleared his throat before speaking again. “I was about to start looking for one. McGonagall said that if I don’t get my grades up to an Exceeds Expectations, I won’t be able to play the rest of the matches.”

“That sucks, but you’d found one already so you two can start immediately with the tutoring sessions”, Dorian commented slily while looking at her with the smile of a champion adorning his face.

He was trying exceptionally hard, she had to give him that.

In a swift movement, she drank the whole content of her cup to see if the knot that had formed on her stomach would go away. The blonde girl, perhaps a member of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, beside (Y/N) noticed her drink was missing and offered her to reach out for one of the bottles of the table across. The Slytherin nodded and asked for the bottle of Quintin Black if there was still one.

“So you like Scottish things?” Oliver observed, with his eyes lighted up and his bottom lip stuck beneath his teeth, when he saw her grab the bottle of alcohol filled to the middle with onyx liquid. 

“She sure does.” She heard Dorian mumble, he had tried to hide the smirk burying his face on his cup but (Y/N) took notice of that too. After giving him a pointed look, she turned her head towards Oliver, who, hopefully, hadn’t heard her friend’s remark; if he had, he was good at concealing it.

Her response was interrupted by the starting melody of “Lay all your love on me”, one of her favourite songs, and a voice that could only belong to her best friend, screaming her name. Out of nowhere, Isla took her hand, said something to Oliver and Dorian about returning her to them later, and yanked (Y/N) to the direction of the made up dance floor, making her almost drop the cup she was holding.

It was an unspoken rule between them, whenever one of their favourite songs was on the radio, they would stop what they were doing, important or not, and start to dance and sing, without caring about other people’s opinion. It was something like a ritual that had become a safe space and a signature of their friendship for both of the girls.

A few seconds through the song had played when Celine stopped dancing and approached her friend, whispering something in her ear.

“Okay, don’t look and don’t freak out, but Oliver hot stuff Wood is staring at you.”

“What? What do I do?” 

“Just keep dancing, I guess, maybe he likes it.”

“I don’t know how to dance, why would he like it?” 

Confusion and panic in her eyes, (Y/N) tried to think about all the logical reasons Oliver Wood, one of the most attractive guys in the school, could be watching her dance. The girl knew she wasn’t beautiful, even if her best friend repeatedly said so, she wasn’t funny or interesting and, on top of all, she belonged in Slytherin, the House with the worst reputation. 

“No idea, but whatever it is, keep doing it.” 

Her best friend winked at her, a large and contagious smile spreading over her face. Grabbing one of (Y/N)’s hands, she made her twirl around following the fast beat of the song. Seizing the opportunity, (Y/N) glanced at Oliver and discovered that he was, indeed, staring at her while he drank from his black cup.

A random and unexpected laugh flew out of her mouth. Her best friend, carefree as always, began to giggle with her while dancing around the room. She had never felt more alive, and some people would think she was ridiculous for actually thinking it, but singing her favourite song at the top of her lungs, dancing and laughing and just having fun with her best friend. Excitement running through her veins uniting with the nerves Oliver’s attention towards her had provoked; a slight headache caused by the alcohol mixing with the new confidence coming from the same thing. 

Aware of the dark brown eyes focusing on her, she turned around once more, but this time she didn’t look away. She kept singing, beaming at him from the middle of the dance floor, and maintaining eye contact. A sudden thought appeared on her mind, if she’d had maybe one more full cup of Quintin Black, perhaps she would’ve been confident enough to ask him on a date. 

Don’t go wasting your emotions, lay all your love on me.

Don’t go sharing your devotion, lay all your love on me.

(Y/N) didn’t think that he would take that as an invitation when she whispered the words while looking at him, it wasn’t even meant to be one, but Oliver Wood had left his cup on the table next to him and was now walking towards her.

A little small talk, a smile and baby I was stuck. 

I still don’t know what you’ve done with me.

[violetwolfraven]

Modern!Wormsies Headcanons because I’m terrified wormsies is going to die before 2021 gets here

Tw for mild horror. I don’t think this is that bad but read at your own risk. I don’t l know why I created it I just felt compelled to but don’t read it unless you’re as insane as I am and are fully prepared to read the most cursed thing I have ever created. Seriously. This is by far the most cursed thing I have ever written. Good luck. 💜

So anyway they’re not selling to survive obviously since it’s modern au.

In my modern au they’re all theatre nerds cause why not.

So they’re backstage one day and Race finds this blue thing behind an old set that has probably been there for several years.

Lo and behold, it is a worm on a string.

And Race is kinda weirded out and wondering who left it there but he’s like aight guess I’m keeping this thing.

He ties it to a strap on his backpack and forgets about it for the rest of rehearsal.

Then Romeo (one of Race’s 3 adoptive brothers, the others being Jack and Crutchie) notices it and f l i p s o u t.

Romeo drags over Specs and Jack and Crutchie to show them the worm Race found and they’re all like omg this is the best thing we’ve ever seen.

Race is still kinda confused but like hey whatever this might as well happen and he just figures if his brothers and his little brother’s boyfriend are gonna obsess over worms, why not join in?

They all get worms somehow. Romeo gets a green one, Specs gets a purple one, Jack gets a dark blue one, and Crutchie gets a yellow one.

When they all show up to rehearsal a few days later with worms, a few others pick up on it and are like lmao let’s join in on the insanity.

So anyway Albert gets a red one, Smalls gets a green one, Mike gets a purple one, Ike gets a yellow one cause it’s the opposite of purple, and Elmer gets a green one.

All the others are all kinda just whatever do what you want don’t involve us in your insanity.

BUT THEN

Over the course of the next couple weeks, only a couple more people join in on getting worms.

Sniper gets a purple one and Finch gets an orange one.

But what’s strange is that everybody starts noticing...

The kids with worms pick up choreography...

Faster and Better...

Than the kids without worms...

They’re stretchier and more agile...

...almost like..?

Almost like...

They...

don’t...

have...

spines..?

They wiggle just like their worms wiggle wiggle wiggle.

And Specs is the most logical of the ones with worms but even he fully believes his worm gives him special powers.

They spend their snack breaks talking about this and a few more people decide to get in on it.

Jojo gets a yellow one, Mush gets a dark blue one, and Blink gets a light blue one.

Davey, Spot, and Katherine still refuse to believe in this.

Sarah got a pink worm and they were all terribly disappointed in her.

But anyway they hold out their lack of belief despite how the kids with worms continue to perform better in dance numbers than the few left without.

Kenny caves and gets a dark blue one somewhere in here.

There are now a lot more kids with worms than kids without and the holidays are rolling around.

Ike gets Hotshot a red worm and Hotshot in turn gets red worms for all his crowd on the stage crew (Bart, Rafaela, Joey, Hildy, York, and Vince).

Hell, even the crew kids perform better with worms, it turns out.

Cause they can run fast to get places they need to be and squeeze through spaces they shouldn’t be able to squeeze through.

But anyway Katherine and Davey and Spot are starting to get a little creeped out.

Cause their friends and partners are starting to act more and more like they’re in a cult, even more than the cult that they’re already in (the drama club).

They pretend their worms have fucking personalities and make tiny hats for them and stuff.

And the ones left without worms are dropping like flies and getting assimilated to the other side.

Buttons gets a light blue one, Tommy Boy gets a pink one, Henry gets an orange one, and

And Sarah gets Les a green worm.

That’s kinda the last straw for Davey.

He fucking waits until his siblings are asleep and he throws their worms in the trash.

But mysteriously

They both have their worms back in time for rehearsal.

And Davey gets home that night and there’s a light blue worm waiting on his pillow.

He throws it away but it’s tied to his backpack strap the next day.

He flushes it down the toilet and it shows up in his favorite hoodie pocket.

He tells Katherine and Spot, super freaked out, but they don’t really believe him cause there’s no such thing as magic worms... right?

Then Katherine finds a purple worm on the seat she usually sits in during breaks.

She’s moderately creeped out so she leaves it there and goes to a different seat but the next break the worm is on that seat.

She can’t remember seeing anyone move it.

Meanwhile Spot is making out with Race behind a curtain (obviously) and Race

Race fucking pulls a red worm out of his sleeve like a scarf trick and gives it to him.

Spot is super weirded out by this and wants to just throw the dumb thing away the minute he and Race are done making out, but he just...

He can’t.

He can’t get rid of the worm, so he ties it to his backpack.

Katherine and Davey are mildly horrified that Spot has given in and won’t give up his worm even though you’re encouraging their cult-like behavior, Spot, come on.

Spot insists that he could throw away his worm if he wanted to, he just... doesn’t want to. And besides, he can keep up with the others on theatre stuff now, so why would he?

So Kath and Davey are

The

Last

Ones

Left

Without worms.

Davey’s worm is still following him around but he refuses to give in and he always gets rid of it as soon as he finds it but it always pops up again.

Katherine’s shows up less frequently, but it starts getting more and more frequent and she starts getting more and more freaked out as one night, she goes into her room and that fucking purple worm is on her pillow.

None of her friends have been to her house in the last 24 hours so this development is fucking terrifying.

She calls Davey and flips out on the phone to him about it and he’s trying to calm her down but Sarah ends up stealing his phone after a few minutes because she’s my girlfriend, Davey, not yours.

When Davey gets the phone back, Katherine is significantly calmer. He asks her if she threw the worm away.

She

Didn’t

Throw the worm away.

She claims it’s fine, that they might as well give in, Davey, we’re the last ones left without worms, just out of stubbornness. And anyway our friends with worms are doing fine; look at your siblings if you need proof.

Sarah and Les are having a tea party with their worms and Davey is getting pretty scared at this point.

He’s the last one left without a worm, though that blue one still always seems to show up wherever he is.

Until

Opening night

Of

Their

Show

Afterwards everybody’s pumped up and ready to go to Applebee’s to celebrate and Davey is relieved because no one has mentioned worms in the last 24 hours or even really looked at the ones still tied to their backpacks.

He thinks maybe the others got bored with it and this thing is finally dying, especially since that damn light blue worm hasn’t showed up today either.

But then Davey is just sharing a nice coffee alone with Jack backstage (which he hasn’t done since the worm thing started because honestly his boyfriend was creeping him out).

Jack suddenly starts crying, and Davey’s all like hey what is it? Babe look at me what’s wrong?

And Jack just goes I’m sorry love I know it hurts now but it’s better in the long run trust me.

That’s when Elmer, Specs, Sarah, and Mush burst in behind them and grab Davey, shoving a bag over his head and dragging him somewhere.

When the bag is taken off of Davey’s head, he’s tied to a chair in the middle of a choir room that all his friends have somehow squeezed into.

They’re all holding their worms.

And Davey is like guys if this is an elaborate prank it wasn’t even that funny to begin with but now it is very very much not funny.

But Sarah just goes in a sad tone it’s not a prank Davey.

Les not looking like he’s trying not to laugh is what makes Davey believe it’s not a prank.

And Davey is legitimately terrified at this point because even Spot and Katherine are looking at him with a solemn kind of pity and when he asks them for help they just shake their heads and tell him everything will be okay.

He turns to Jack and is still clinging to that last little bit of hope that one of the people he loves might not have gone off the deep end.

That last little bit of hope that the boy he loves is still the boy I fell for. I know you’re still in there so please just untie me Jackie.

Jack looks like he’s trying not to cry but he doesn’t move.

Instead he says I love you Davey. It’ll all be over soon.

Do it, Race.

Race steps forward and Davey just about has a heart attack because

He’s

Holding

That

Goddamn

Light blue

Worm

And he takes some rainbow duct tape out of his pocket and tapes it to Davey’s shirt.

And the others all start chanting one of us one of us one of us as Davey can practically feel the spine leave his body and travel to another dimension where there’s a man who collects them.

It turns out the others were right that he should just give in.

Now it’s time for them to get the rest of the school.

Edit: here is my attempt to justify myself for this. 💜

[heavcnslyre]

ricky bowen x reader second series!! part one

— (continuation) starstruck au!

first series | series masterlist, part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine, part ten

IN WHICH you cherish the last few days you have with ricky before he leaves for california.

WARNINGS n / a

NOTES first part of my new series!!!! super cheesy but it’s sweet hope you enjoy!!

text dividers from @writeyourmindaway

lowercase intended

( tags: @hesvoid34 @omgdani17 )

you smiled at ricky’s last message and clicked your phone off, cuddling back into your sheets. ricky had been staying with you the past few days and it was nice to be able to spend time with him, but he was leaving tomorrow. you constantly thought about how different it’s going to be— with him in california and you in new york. you lived such different lives: you were a high school senior in a random city in new york and he was a famous singer in los angeles, california. you were nervous to be away from him for so long, but you knew it wasn’t forever.

you had almsot drifted off to sleep again when you heard your bedroom door open and close. you opened your eyes and peeped over at ricky, who grinned at you when you made eye contact.

“good morning,” he said. he was carrying a box of donuts which he set on your bed close to your feet.

“morning!” you replied cheerfully as you sat up and grabbed the box. he sat on the bed carefully next to you. you pulled out a jelly filled donut.

“i am going to make such a mess on my bed,” you commented, powder already falling from your donut onto the sheets. he laughed and grabbed a glazed donut.

“no surprise there.”

you laughed and took a bite of your donut. after a minute, you turned to him. “what should we do today?”

“hm,” he thought for a moment. “good question.”

“i wish it wasn’t your last day here,” you said. “i have to go back to real life when you leave.”

ricky laughed. “yeah, it’s really been a nice escape, being here with you.”

you snuggled back into your blankets and looked up at him. “you could just stay. my whole family loves you, sure it’d be fine.”

“you know i would if i could,” he brushed your hair behind your ear. “i guess i have a career to get to, though.”

you hummed. “yeah. guess that’s sort of important, huh?”

“i guess,” he said. “you’re more important though, obviously.”

you smiled and grabbed his hand, tracing lines on it. “will you be recording ‘common sense’ when you get back?”

“of course,” ricky grinned. “i’ll release it as soon as possible.”

“i want to be the first to hear the recorded version.”

“well, it is about you, so sure.”

the two of you sat and talked for a while before you heard a knock on the door. you told them to come in and camilla peeked her head in the door.

“oh— uh, hi. sorry,” she said nervously. she had started to get used to the fact that you were dating ricky, but she was still a huge fan of his and wasn’t quite used to seeing him in her little sisters bed.

“hey cam. what’s up?” you asked.

“mom and dad wanted me to let you know we’re going to go out and get dinner tonight since ricky’s leaving tomorrow,” she said ricky’s name somewhat nervously, as if she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to address him casually.

“sounds great,” ricky smiled at camilla. she smiled back, in a you’re-my-sisters-boyfriend-and-i-think-i-approve type way. you nudged the box of donuts with your foot.

“donuts, if you want some.”

she peeked in the box. “any jelly filled?”

“should be a couple more in there,” ricky said. she grabbed one from the box.

“thanks guys. i’m thinking about going to a few shops today with my friend, if you wanted to tag along,” she said as she moved to the door. you looked at ricky and he shrugged.

“yeah, sure. just let us know when you’re going,” you said and camilla nodded before leaving your room. you turned to ricky.

“i think she’s getting used to having you here.”

he nodded. “definitely an improvement from when i came over after the dance.”

you laughed at the memory. when you returned home that day with ricky, ashlyn, and big red, you swore that camilla’s eyes popped out of her head. her face was red the whole time she spoke to him and she rambled on and on. of course, ricky listened and didn’t mind, but you thought her behavior was funny. shes usually so confident, and seeing her nervous was weird for you. you were just glad that she was getting used to him now and that they got along. you weren’t sure what you would do if your family didn’t like him.

“you ready to go?” your mom asked, walking into the living room where you and ricky were watching a movie. you looked over at her and nodded.

“yeah. are we driving together or seperate?”

your mom shrugged. “you guys can drive seperate, if you want. cam’s meeting us there.”

“okay,” you turned to ricky. “you wanna drive or should i?”

“do you really want to drive?” ricky asked teasingly. you laughed and rubbed your eyes.

“maybe not. maybe you should,” he laughed and stood up, offering you a hand. you grabbed it and pulled yourself up.

“what restaurant is it we’re going to?” ricky asked your mom.

“applebee’s on third street. (y/n) knows where it is if you can’t find it.”

“okay, awesome.”

ricky grabbed his keys and the two of you left right behind your parents. ricky rested his hand on your leg and you scrolled through your phone. as you were on twitter, a thought popped into your mind.

“hey ricky? can i ask you something?”

“of course.”

“when do you think you’ll say something about us being together?” you asked gently, in a tone that hopefully portrayed that you weren’t mad, just curious. he thought for a second.

“maybe when i release common sense?” he suggested, glancing over at you. “i feel like by then things will be calmed down enough and i can be truthful about who it’s about.”

you grabbed his hand and intertwined your fingers. “that’s perfect.”

“so, ricky,” your dad asked as you were sitting at the restaurant. “do you have anything you’re working on when you get back to california?”

ricky hummed. “i actually have an album in the works and theres potential for a role in a movie as well. but i’m also going to be focusing on spending time on myself and people i care about.”

you and ricky made eye contact and you smiled. you had had a conversation about how he puts too much on his plate and that he needed to focus on doing what he wanted to do, and he really took that to heart. he planned to spend more time writing his music and he was only going to do this movie if it felt right for him.

“that’s a great plan,” your dad said. “i’m excited to see how you do in the future.”

“thank you, mr. (y/l/n), that really means a lot to me,” he said. “when do you think you guys will make it out to california next?”

“definitely the summertime,” your mom said. “i’d love if we could go sooner but... going across the country isn’t necessarily a weekend trip.”

“yeah, i get that,” ricky laughed. “summers not too far, though!”

“yeah, in the meantime you can just take a drive to glendale and become best friends with my grandma,” you teased. ricky laughed.

“very true.”

the five of you sat and talked at dinner for over an hour, and your family got to know ricky. it was really nice to see them getting along. eventually, you all decided it was time to leave and let other people have your table. as you were walking out in the parking lot, ricky turned to your parents.

“i think (y/n) and i will go for a bit of a drive, if that’s alright?” he asked. your dad nodded and checked his watch.

“sure thing. just drive careful and be back before 12?”

“awesome, thanks!” ricky said and the two of you walked hand-in-hand back to your car.

“so, where are we going?” you asked as you got into the passengers seat.

“just for a drive. nowhere specific. besides, i know nothing about your city. we might get lost.”

you laughed. “this city isn’t that big. but getting lost is not that big of a deal. we’ll figure it out.”

“i’ve said this before— no one i’d rather get lost with than you,” ricky said, then grinned at you. you grinned back and grabbed his hand.

“right back at you.”

you and ricky ended up getting ice cream then finding a park to walk around in. but then, you quickly realized that it was new york in the middle of january, and you were freezing. you sat in the car together, sitting and talking as you looked at the stars. you had learned a lot about each other recently and you just continued to learn new things about him. you were able to pick up on little things he did; like run his hand through his hair when he was talking a lot and how his ears turned red when he got embarrassed.

ricky drove the two of you back to your house right around 11:30. everyone was asleep, as you assumed they would be. you made your way upstairs and into bed and ricky slipped in next to you, a few minutes later. you cuddled up next to him and he wrapped his arms around you.

“i’m going to miss this when you leave,” you sighed. he held you tighter.

“yeah. me too.”

“are you sure you have everything?” you asked ricky nervously, handing him one of his bags at the airport. your parents had left to go look at some of the shops to let you say goodbye. he gave you a light smile.

“yes. and if i forgot anything, you can just mail it to me. or, we can use it as an excuse to see each other sooner,” you laughed.

“are you sure you’ll be okay flying by yourself? are you comfortable?” you asked, he lifted your chin so you would look him in the eye.

“love, i’ll be fine. don’t worry,” your face softened and you leaned in to kiss him. he moved his arms to your waist and you moved yours to around his neck. when you pulled back, you rested your forehead against his.

“i can’t believe you’re going to be across the country from me, and in a different time zone,” you said. he rubbed your back.

“i know. but i’ll call you, everyday. call, not just text. and... i’ll update you on everything i’m working on, my songs, the movie, whatever.”

you nodded and pulled away from him. “just... take care of yourself, ricky. and don’t find another girl to be with in california.”

“trust me, i won’t,” he laughed. “my heart is here, with you.”

“so cheesy,” you teased. ricky rolled his eyes fondly.

“flight 258 to los angeles, california is now boarding!” you heard over the loud speakers. you sighed.

“guess you should go,” you said.

“guess i should.”

you smooth out his sleeves distractedly. “text me as soon as you land, okay? and say hi to big red for me, and your parents.”

“i will. my parents are excited to meet you for real, soon.”

“i’m excited to meet them. june, hopefully. then you, me, red and ashlyn will be altogether again. that’ll be nice.”

“yeah it will be! and i can finally show you more of california. it’ll be great,” you nodded.

“okay, enough of these cheesy goodbyes. no ones dying. facetime me later, i’ll see you soon.”

you kissed him again quickly and he turned to get to his gate as the warning was called for his flight. you sighed as you watched him leave. before he walked onto his plane, he turned around and waved at you. you waved back, a big smile on your face, and he turned to walk onto his plane. as he disappeared from your vision, your parents and camilla approached you.

“he board his plane?” your dad asked. you nodded.

“you okay?” camilla asked you gently. you looked over and nodded. she put her arm around your shoulder. “c’mon. lunch is on me.”

[justnerdthings]

Just a collection of Alex, Echo, and Jo incorrect quotes from a generator.

Jo: Some people are like slinkies. Echo: What? Jo: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. Echo: Echo: Please don't push Alex down the stairs. Jo, pushing Alex down the stairs: Too late.

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Alex: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they’re loved. Echo has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them. Jo: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don’t want to be at? Alex: I knew you’d understand.

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Alex: We're having a baby. Echo: Oh, congradu- Jo, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here.

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Echo: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a. Jo: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory. Alex: Fuck you.

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Echo: *gets a text* Oh! It’s Alex. Jo, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff? Echo: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood. Jo: Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood? Echo: You wanted fake blood? Jo: Echo: I’ll go call Alex.

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Alex: Nice rock. Jo: Thanks, Echo gave it to me. Echo: I threw it at you! Jo: Aren't they the sweetest?

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Alex: Who wants to make fifty bucks? Jo: How? Alex: I need someone to take the fall. Jo: What did you do? Alex: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked. Echo, from the other room: Oh my god. Alex: ... Echo: OH MY GOD! Jo: Make it a hundred. Alex: Deal.

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Echo: So, what is Jo to you? Alex: The reason I wake up every morning. Echo: ...That’s adorable. Jo earlier that morning, barging into Alex′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

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Alex: I mean. Echo's just standing there now. Alex: Waiting for me, I guess. Alex: But it's okay, I think they've pretty much settled down. Jo: Settled down? Alex: Well, they only stabbed me once.

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Jo: Can we go out to get icecream? Alex: Did you ask Echo? Jo: They said no. Alex: Then why did you ask me? Jo: They're not the boss of you. Alex, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

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Echo: Would you slap Alex- Jo: Yes. Echo: I didn't even finish! Jo: Sorry, continue. Echo: Would you slap Alex for 10 dollars? Jo: I would do it for free. Alex: Rude...

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Echo: Is this your plan B? Alex: Technically, this is plan P. Echo: Plan P? Is there a plan M? Alex: Yes, but I marry Jo in plan M. Jo: I like plan M.

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Echo: The moon looks beautiful, doesn’t it? Alex, looking at Echo: Yeah… but do you know what’s more beautiful? Echo and Alex in unison: *sighs* Jo

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Alex: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car? Jo: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Echo, deer!" Alex: ...And what did Echo do? Jo: ...They said "Yes, Honey?"

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Echo: Did Jo just tell me they loved me for the first time? Alex: Yeah, they did. Echo: And did I just do finger guns back? Alex: Yeah, you did.

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Echo, at Jo: Would you like to stay for dinner? Alex, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

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Echo talking at Alex’s funeral: You do know we’re burying a great person today! Jo, shocked: Did someone else die?

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Echo: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him? Alex: A pet WHAT?! Jo: William Snakespeare.

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Alex: Jo has no survival skills, their need to win has replaced them. Echo: That can't be true! Alex: Watch this. Alex: Hey Jo, race you to the bottom of the stairs! Jo: *Throws themself out a window*

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Alex: What are you guys doing? Echo: Like in life in general or- Jo: Not much. Why, what's up? Alex: I dunno, I’m bored playing AC. Jo: Assassins Creed? Alex: Animals Creed. Echo: Assassins Crossing.

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Echo: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Alex without them noticing? Jo: Hey, Alex, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny. Alex: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser. Echo: ...

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Alex: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Echo: Echo: I'm gonna tell them. Jo: Don't you dare.

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Echo: What time is it? Jo: I don’t know, pass me that saxaphone and we’ll find out Jo: *BLASTS the saxaphone* Alex: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXAPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING Jo: It’s 2 am

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Alex: Would you take a bullet for me? Echo: ...yes? *Jo angrily burst into the room* Alex: *running away* Great, thanks!

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Jo: What makes you think it's okay to watch Hannibal given its subject matter? Echo: Sometimes, I watch television shows for entertainment purposes. Alex: Because I condone murder and cannibalism.

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Alex: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees? Echo: Bees? Alex: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES! Echo: Wait- *Jo approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

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Echo: Jo and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us. Alex: What did you do? Echo: Jo chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and- Jo: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

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Jo: I lost Echo. Alex: How did you LOSE Echo?! Jo: To be fair, they are very small.

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Echo: Who do we know that has handcuffs? Alex: Well Jo and I- Jo: *elbows Alex* Alex: ...wouldn't know.

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Jo: What’s it like being tall? Jo: Is it nice? Jo: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? Alex: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want. Echo: It was one time!

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Jo: I told Alex that their ears turn red when they lie. Echo: Do they? Jo: No. Echo: Then why did you tell them that? Jo: Because I can do this. Jo: Hey Alex! Do you love us? Alex, with their hands over their ears: No.

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Jo: Is Alex always like this when they lose? Echo: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015. Alex: You bumped that table and you know it!

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Alex: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Echo's birthday invitations. Jo: Well, what are they supposed to say? Alex: "Echo's birthday". Jo: So, what do they say instead? Alex: "Echo’s bi". Jo: Jo: Works out either way.

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Echo: Alex got into a fight. Jo: That’s bad. Jo: Jo: Did they win?

-----------------

Echo: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it? Jo: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?” Alex, scoffing: Oh, please. Jo, to Alex: Hey, how you doin’? Alex: Alex: *giggles and blushes*

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Echo: That shirt looks great, Alex. Alex: Thanks. Echo: But I bet it would look even better on Jo's floor. Jo: Are you hitting on Alex... for me?

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Echo: Hey, do you know the password to Alex’s computer? Jo: Fuck you, Echo. Echo: Hey!! Jo: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouEcho". Echo: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

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Jo: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted. Alex: I’m “a couple of things”. Echo: I’m “got distracted”.

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*playing twister* Echo: Right hand red. Jo: *ends up on top of Alex* Alex: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Echo: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.

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Jo: Where are my fucking keys? Alex: Jo, Echo is around, can you say it a little nicer? Jo: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

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Alex: A sprite is anything not static. Echo: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d. Jo: A sprite is a fucking soda. Jo: You god damn geekass bastards.

---------------------

Jo: Echo! What did I tell you about lying? Echo, looking down: ...That it only works on Alex.

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Echo: What are you writing? Alex: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information. Jo, looking over Alex's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

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Echo: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?! Alex: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long line of violence. Echo: Oh... Jo, from across the room: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.

-------------------

Alex: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok? Echo: Okay. *later* Jo: Echo! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. Alex, whispering: Deny everything. Echo, loudly: That isn't a chair.

------------------

Jo: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one. Alex: Erm... it’s nice see your smile when you win! *later* Jo: They're probably just staring at my ass, aren't they. Echo: Yeah, probably.

-------------------

Echo: *speaking Spanish* Jo: I know, I know. Alex: You speak Spanish? Jo: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Echo speaks.

--------------------

Jo: Alex, what are you doing? Alex: Making chocolate pudding. Jo: It's four in the morning, why are you making chocolate pudding? Alex: Because I've lost control of my life. Alex: Here's your pudding, Echo. Echo: Oh that's okay, I'm not hungry anymore.

-------------------

Alex: I know you love them. Echo: I am not in love with Jo! Alex, staring at Echo: I never said who... Echo: *realizes* Echo: Shit. Well, anyways-

-------------------

Echo: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body. Jo: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot. Echo: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! Alex: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from...

-------------------

Jo: Yo dumbass, get over here. Echo: Okay- Alex: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming! Echo, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...

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Jo: But what about Alex? Echo: Don't worry about them. Echo: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.

--------------------

Echo: I hope you have an explanation for this. Alex: We have three actually- Jo: Pick your favorite.

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Alex, to Echo: You know, Jo can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Alex: *blows airhorn at Jo* GET FUCKED!

-------------------

Echo & Alex: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire* Echo: We need an adult! Alex: Echo, you are an adult! Echo: We need an adultier adult! Get Jo!

-------------------

Jo: Are you a painting? Alex: What-? Jo: Because I want to pin you to a wall. Echo: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG THEM OR SOMETHING-

-------------------

Alex, bursting into the room: You two are having sex! Jo, not looking up from their book: Really? Echo, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

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Alex, excitedly: Heeyy!! Echo: Hey, someone's excited. Jo, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.

-------------------

Echo: When Alex has daiquiris they get really into how beautiful they are. Alex: Hey, I dare you guys to dare us to make out. Jo: Hey Alex, you know that’s a mirror, right?

-------------------

@chadillacboseman @roofgeese

[thedramaclubs]

The lady’s improving

Summery: Roman went to see Virgil again and in the end theirs a big musical number

Ships: Logicality, Prinxiety, demus/dukeceit

When singing

Roman-red

Virgil was siting in his office doing work and he wa son the phone.

“Yes I’ve heard about the boys on the wrestling team.....yes that’s why I need to know if it was okay that they ate it......well they each had a bite......yes a big bite.......thank you.” Virgil continued working and soon after Roman came in wearing a red jump suit with a jacket

“Am I interrupting something?”

Virgil gave it a thought on what he interrupted “Sure.”

“Oh okay....” he closed the door behind him to wear it was them in the office “......an I interrupting something?”

Virgil let out a sigh “No just trying to do some research to find out if deodorant is poisonous. How may I help you?”

“Wells there’s a lot of impossible things for me to do right now so I’ve been wondering around town. I’ve seen the sight and...thought you would want to take me out to dinner and worship me again.” Roman began to blush a little but Virgil keep looking at his screen.

“No thanks.”

“Um I beg your pardon?”

“No I would not like to do that, now if you’ll excuse I have work to do.” Roman couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Why not all week you were wining and dining at Applebee’s and now I can’t pull you away from deodorant? Why is everyone so mad at me?!” Virgil got up from his seat.

“Well speaking from myself, you are a opportunist. You cam down here for publicity. You used us. You only care about yourself! You are a bad person! Your a Harret!!”

Roman got very offended “A Harret!!!....What is it is that bad?” Virgil was about done with this shit.

“It is bad!! Did you not figure that out from the context!!” Roman got offended again.

“How dare you nobody speaks to to me like that. If we were in New York, I would snap my fingers and Talyn from props would beat the shit out of you!”

Virgil rub his temples and breathes “Meeting you in person has been a huge disappointment.” He started to walk to Roman

“You Said by helping this one boy you might make the world a better place and I believed you because....I wanted to and I wanted you to be Dolores.”

“Who the hell is Dolores?!”

“FROM “SWALLOW THE MOON”!! She was joyful she was so full of courage and hope-“

“SHE WAS FICTIONAL!!”

“You make her real! When you sang “The Lady’s Improving” to Troy Gibson you admitted you weren’t perfect but you knew you could be a better you.....and that’s why he didn’t fire you from the circus act.” Roman crossed his arms and looked away.

“Well I’m not Dolores. I’m just a really......really.....really good actor.”

“Are we done?”

“Yes we are.” Roman left the room and Virgil went back to his desk to work.....then Roman came back into the room taking of the vest he wore standing in a dramatic pose.

The lady’s improving so don’t give up hope

You ask is she perfect my answer is nope

“I know what your doing”

Her range needs expanding

Her edges need sanding

But she can become a sure bet

So I’m begging you sir don’t give up on here yet

“Your trying to appeal to the fan in me well it won’t work I’m not a fan anymore”

He started to do the choreography from when he did “swallow the moon”

The lady’s improving so much that she gloats

I know you’ve got standards feel free to give notes

There isn’t and issue and that’s why I wish you could see

There’s no reason to fret

So I’m begging you sir don’t give up on her yet

“Seriously Roman this is unsettling it’s like having a fantasy I don’t want to have”

Everybody thinks that I’ve got some kinks that I’ll never work out

Even you’re inclined to think that I’m unrefined

But I promise with some time, that my aptitude will climb

And you’ll leave your doubts and disbeliefs behind

The lady’s improving removing all doubt

She has hidden charms that are sure to come out

You’re bound to discover this books not the cover

So don’t make a move you’ll regret

So I’m begging you sir

No regaining on her

DONT GIVE UP ON HEEEERRRRRRRR YEEEEEEEEETTTTTT

He struck his final pose and Virgil began to applaud

“Okay I’ll admit that one got to me!” He continued clapping as Roman catch his breath becupause he just put his heart and soul into that number

“You see I’m not a lost cause. That was a completely selfless act. That was a performance that people would pay PREMIUM PRICE FOR!!!!” Roman still was trying to breath as Virgil was now disappointed

“Not charging someone for an apology is not a selfless act.” Said Virgil

Silence

“Well what the fuck!”

Virgil as amazing as he was still due to that performance, had to use common sense

“If you want people to like you instead of hate you, you gotta be good!”

“Yes but you don’t understand I am a celebrity it’s all about meeee! It has been for years that’s the whole point of celebrityyyy!” Roman then finally relilzed how much of a horrible person he was. “Oh my god I........I need to be reprogrammed. I need to unlearn things. And....I’m gonna need help to do that....I need a teacher.....please.” Roman looked at the taller man when he said the last word.

“Let’s go somewhere and talk about how to be good human being.”

“............Apples and bees?”

“Sure.”

The two men left the room and they both knew that this was going to work out.

People to tag/ @artissi-jam @patt-off @frogsandcookies @icantthinkofacreativeurl @purplestarrystars @actingonimpulse